#nikolai didnt even say “im sorry” that bastard..

[stuffeddeer]

hiii! how about ~any bsd characters of your choice~ when they make you cry for the first time during an argument? (maybe they say something mean, weaponize your insecurities, tell you to shut up (yeah, i'm sensitive to this heh), won't listen to you, etc)

yayyy any of my choice!!! that means my faves dazai and nikolai <3 love u anon

cw: intimacy ? "fuck" is used multiple times, u call urself an escort

A soft breath left your lips as you stared at your ceiling. Without even looking at the clock, you were sure it read some time past 12. You had quite a late night, even just the thought causing you to feel tired again. Closing your eyes tightly, you buried your face into your pillow, turning over in bed to do so.

The movement is followed by a deep chuckle from beside you, causing your eyes to snap open in surprise for a moment. There he is: the man who kept you up.

"Oh, you're still here." You spoke before thinking, the words coming out of your mouth as merely an observation.

"Ouch," he smirked, his hand reaching out to gently brush some hair from your face. "Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon, hm?"

"Um, sure. Thanks for last night, I suppose." Is that what he's waiting on? Acknowledgment? You pull the covers further up, making to sure cover as much of your torso as you can.

Your ex boyfriend only smirked, fingers trailing down your body just above the thick blankets. He propped his head up on one hand, elbow sinking slightly into your mattress. The way the afternoon sun danced between his brown curls made you think of last night, and how nice it felt to grip his soft hair once again. The thought makes you sigh, turning away from him to gaze at the ceiling once more.

"Hey, so, um, I gotta get ready. I have plans later..." you trail off, hoping he'll take the hint. Your ex has always been smart, especially socially - he'll understand.

And he does, for the most part, but he doesn't care. "Kicking me out already? The day just started. I thought you'd at least offer me a bowl of cereal before sending me away." His tone is teasing, the same smug smirk sitting prettily on his lips. "What are your plans, then? Anything I can tag along for?"

The incredulous look on your face gives away your confusion. "What..? No. Hey, thanks again for last night, but this is where we part. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"

He pouts at your words before sitting up. "Yeah, fine. I got what I wanted. Didn't realize this was just a fuck for you."

"Are you saying for you this was more?" You asked genuinely.

"No, I just thought it might have been more for you," he replies dismissively. Standing up, he begins pulling on his pants. "Have fun on your date, then."

You nod, unaware of his trap as you reply genuinely. "Thanks, I'll try."

He pauses, one leg in his pant leg and the other hovering just above it. "So you are prepping for a date."

Looking at him curiously, you nod. "Mhm, yeah. I was chatting with someone on Tinder. Figured I shouldn't go running to my ex whenever I need a good fuck."

He scoffs. "You think you can get a good fuck anywhere else?"

"That's what I'm tryna find out. Put on your pants, please."

"I guess it's my fault then, hm?" His eyes narrowed at you, giving nothing away as he remained frustrated and angry.

"...Fault for what?" You were confused, unaware as to what he was hinting at.

Your ex grits his teeth, feeling annoyed at your obliviousness. "For thinking we might actually get back together."

His words left you stunned for a moment, watching in silence he pulled his pants on the rest of the way. With a rather solemn expression, he shook his head in defeat and put his shirt on quickly. "There's my answer, then," he murmured, more to himself than you as he turned to leave.

Anger coursed through your body. How dare he play the hurt victim now? "Hey, fuck you!" You shouted without thinking. What a colossal asshole! "The night I broke up with you, you told me you never even liked me in the first place! And now what, you suddenly wanna 'rekindle what we had?' What did we have, Dazai? Please, enlighten me, because I find myself remembering that our whole relationship was just you talking down to me and treating me like some second-rate escort! I'm sorry for wanting more," you unloaded. Every thought that had been bouncing around in your head moved out of the way as you admitted what had been eating at you during the year of your relationship together. "It was our one year anniversary, you know, when I finally called it quits. Did you even remember?"

He didn't; of course not. You could just tell by his continued silence and the way he glanced away.

Tears brimmed your eyes. The only thing worse than his condescending remarks was the silence. You couldn't stand his quiet behavior, even when you were together - it screamed pity, and that's the last thing you wanted from someone who always knew what to say. "Get the fuck out of my house." You flopped back against your bed, burying your face into a soft pillow for the second time since waking up less than 10 minutes ago.

The sound of his feet pattering away is unheard by you, barely able to hear anything over the ringing in your head. As silently as you can, you sob into your pillow, feeling hurt and used by your stupid ex boyfriend.

Nikolai, in his crusade for emotional freedom, sometimes found himself treating you in a way that was less than ideal. He liked starting arguments with you, “proving” he didn’t love you as much as he clearly did and definitely wasn’t willing to do anything you asked. It was always over small things, like who made dinner (he’d get mad if you made it since he wanted to treat you or get mad that he’d have to make it since he always does) or how you hogged the blankets at night. Because of this, you usually overlooked it — you understand that it’s his way of proving his freedom and it never devolved into anything more.

Until today, that is. You could hardly remember what the argument was originally about, but he just kept pushing…

“Nikolai, I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Tears were starting to gather in your eyes, making them puffy and glazed over. The more he raised his voice, the more you shrunk in on yourself.

“That’s the problem! How could you not know?!” He took a step closer, towering over you with his large frame.

It was almost hard to breathe, panic coursing through your veins as you suddenly pushed him away with every ounce of strength you had. Silence coursed between the two of you, air tense and uncomfortable. Your tears finally spill once you notice how your hands are shaking. Fine, if he wanted to be free, then far be it from you to stop him.

Wiping your cheeks, you weakly reply, “Get out of my apartment.”

The white haired man paused, waiting to see if you meant it. You didn’t, not really, but it’s embarrassing to admit that when you gaze at your fearfully shaking hands. This isn’t how a boyfriend should treat his partner.

“Please, Nikolai…” You’d fold, you always did, so you resorted to begging while you still had the courage.

That courage wavers fully as his hands rested on your hips, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “It’s my fault, baby,” he whispers. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll get you flowers, and we can order your favorite takeout and have a picnic in the living room while watching your favorite movie…” His thumbs brushed the fresh tears away before both hands grabbed yours. “The last thing I want is for my dove to be scared of me, I swear. I love you more than anything, you’re all I want,” he presses soft kisses against your knuckles, “please, just let me stay...”

You fold.

thank you for this bc i have been ITCHING to write for nikolai my wife my girlfriend my lover (I HAVENT WRITTEN FOR HIM B4 SORRY)

[vypridae]

it’s been awhile since i last asked you about yours hcs so give me more :)

[/nf if you don’t want to]

i apologize for nto seeing this sooner i think you sent this in right when i was going to bed and we've been doing a family thing today so i haven't been able to reply to it

ajnyway. hcs (it is time to struggle thinking for an hour) pls excuse me if i forget what we've talked about and i repeat shit im very tired and kinda sad and a few other things SFHKJFHJKAFSG SO . SORRY IN ADVANCE IF SOMETHING IS REPEATED FROM OTHER POSTS IVE DONE

yosano sometimes finds surprise gifts on her doorstep that are exactly to her tastes (they're from kouyou)

sigma, to impress nikolai, has ATTEMPTED (key word attempted) to braid his own hair before. nikolai spent like ten minutes brushing out the tangles afterwards

t4t kousano ? i think yes. they take estrogen at the same time of the day bc they say its a bonding thing (it so is)

dazai LOOVES those big sweaters that have like huge arms bc theyre SOO soft adn warm. there's one time he gets a package and he's very confused because he didnt order anything and he opens it and inside theres a note that says "happy birthday, bastard" and he immediately recognizes the handwriting as chuuya's and inside is a light blue sweater with the big arms and he doesnt take it off for like three days because he LOVES it so much

tachihara rants to hirotsu bc "GIN IS SOOOOO PRETTY" or "AUAUAGUAUA JUNICHIROUOUOUU...??!? ?!?!??!!" and hirotsu is so done actually but he doesnt mind

higuchi likes to collect little trinkets and has boxes and boxes of stuff she doesnt need but wanted to buy

chuuya "spender's guilt" nakahara x osamu "impulsive buyer" dazai. i rest my case

fyodor has a fan/heater in his room because he cant fall asleep very easily without some sort of sound

poe has found an easy way to get the marble out of ranpo's ramune bottles so ranpo can have the marble and the bottle if he wants

tanitachigin, tachihara is 100% the one who screams at horror games

sometimes sigma wakes up and his hair is in a really nice braided bun or something. (nikolai did it) (its very pretty) (sigma doesn't take it down until he absolutely has to, if not the end of the day)

nonbinary shibusawa !!!! i rest my case x2

chuuya keeps bandage wrap in several places in his apartment because he KNOWS dazai just shows up because for some reason he never bothered to take back his apartment key so dazai will pop in to just chill so he just keeps bandage wrap there for him. he also keeps canned crab in a little minifridge in his bedroom so it doesn't clutter his main fridge

jouno LOVES LOVES LOVES chocolate stuff. specifically chocolate covered strawberries he adores them with his whole heart. tecchou thinks its odd (he thinks strawberries in cocktail sauce is way better) but he's made jouno some damn good chocolate covered strawberries because he knows he likes them. i imagine sometimes he'll buy white strawberries and dip them in white chocolate so BOTH of them can enjoy them (even though tecchou thinks they're waaay too sweet, jouno really likes them so he'll eat them with him to make him happy)