#no one cares on the grand scheme of things it doesnt matter

[emmabee14]

if you weren't faced with a complex moral dilemma at your graduation did you really graduate?

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I THINK I MANAGED TO ACCIDENTALLY PRESS THE BACK KEY REPEATEDLY OR SOMETHING BUT LIKE TWO PARAGRAPHS OF WRITING ARE GONE AND IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME TO CTRL+Z BACK INTO EXISTENCE BUT NOW MY PROGRAM CRASHED SO I DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT ANYMORE IT'S ALL GONE PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW

[spamsandsuch]

since i havent posted anything gaster related in, well, idk how long but its been a long time, i decided to prolly to give an update thats been in my au for awhile but i never actually posted abt it for some reason

so instead of two gasters now theres three. Rather than following the alternative gaster route it relates more to the shard theory now. Heres some concept art i drew recently

rough info under cut

One shard is “Aster” (first; renamed Aster because just calling him wingdings got kinda old and confusing)  and while he has a shard in their soul his body is a physical vessel part of the game (aka hes like a normal lightner that can interact w/ both light and dark world. I refrain from calling it the “real world” cuz the point of utdr is that its a game). He doesnt know this though and has no prior memories after “waking up” for the first time in the game, but they know something is up and thinks the dark worlds has something to do with it (hence why he is holding experiments relating to them). He sucks major ass though cuz he doesnt think of them or darkners as “real” and treats them as such bcuz he doesnt think their actions hold major consequences when interacting w/ darkners/darkworlds 

Second shard (middle) is currently unnamed (tho that may change) and is half physical and half part of the void (but how physical its body is fluctuates). He knows their reality is a game and is pretty content with that. He barely remembers his previous life but doesnt question it — he knows he just is, not what, why, or how. Because of that, he doesnt care what people call him because it doesnt matter much in the grand scheme of things. While knowledgable in many things, he also easily forgets things too as he sometimes has trouble recalling certain things. He also doesnt entirely understand emotions, but it knows he likes seeing or making living things happy so he is often kind to others. He is also well intentioned and genuine, but sometimes doesnt understand what may be good for others to hear. Because of this, he is willing to casually share with others the knowledge that the world is a game to the few people who know its existence, but doesnt recognize that this may be scary information to some. It is also the same gaster that convinced Jevil the world is a game.

Third one and last shard is also nameless (again, this may change) and completely part of the void—meaning, in the light and dark world he doesnt exist, but can still visit them. He cannot interact w/ anything, though, which he finds frustrating esp when observing the other two gasters. He has more memories of his previous life than the second gaster, but its still few as well as scattered—most of the time he cant make sense of them, which is also frustrating. His form is also never constant, but he struggles w/ coping with the inconsistency of his body so he tries to form like the other two gasters whenever he can to maintain his sense of self. He also knows the world is a game (for obvious reasons) but still recognizes that consequences that occur in the game have weight — whether negative or positive. As such, he has a stronger sense of judgement and morality when it comes to others but cannot act upon the majority of things because he barely exists — which is also something hes frustrated with; because he cant interact w/ the world, he concludes he’s incapable of guiding or helping others. The only other being he can actually communicate w/ is the second gaster, he later finds out though; as a result, he often sticks to hanging out with the second gaster for company and also because seeing Aster’s actions make him feel sick. Additionally, he feels a weird sense of kinship with lightners and darkners for some reason — but especially darkners. He sorta almost sees them as his children, but doesnt entirely know why. 

[halfusek]

Irt you post about the archives- Have you read any of the novels? I feel like some of them, like Joey's autobiography, help give a bit more insight to these characters, at least a little.

As for Nathan, I think it's supposed to represent that, unlike Joey, he really was a self made man with good intentions, and that highlights that Wilson was trying to live up to the shadow of his father and instead of being the kind of man his father would have raised, Wilson chose to be as vile as he is.

Memory Joey on the other hand, really is just a representation of this flawed idea people had of the man, only the good parts of Joey that he chose to show. The idealized version of himself that he saw, rather than who he really is. It makes sense to have that contrast there, but he really is just a plot device rather than his own character and it's a shame.

I can't say much for the others, because they feel very lacking. They have a lot of good moments, like the "I'm beautiful." "Always were." scene for example, but outside these moments they feel somewhat empty.

It's unfortunate, because if they had the time, team, and resources, they could have had an incredible story to tell, but limitations with money and staff because of the irl studios layoffs and TheMeatly & Mike Mood making really, really bad choices with their business caused the game to fall short of what it could have been.

we must have read different books because it felt to me like batdr completely ignores book lore

honestly i just feel like the books have been made irrelevant and theyre just kind of telling us stories about these random characters? like adrienne is doing her best to describe these characters but im not gonna lie, as there was some potential to them batdr has been a huge turn off for me for reading anymore (plus that upcoming book is gonna have a yet another completely new character as the main protagonist and im just... bruh how about yall expand upon the characters you already have because this universe is just becoming very messy and full of shallow characters instead of having fewer but interesting ones?? im not against new characters being introduced but they just keep on adding then and then it feels like what we're reading doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, that sucks)

sure we get an insight to joey... the only character that actually HAS a lot of complexity and screentime in the games so like yea i like joey and i enjoyed his book but again it felt more like an extra rather than anything that helped expanding the story or the world, i dont really understand their strategy for these...

nathan's and wilson's relation is just uninteresting and shallows wilson's character in my opinion, like what he says to you in game makes out nathan to have been some sort of a horrible father and that'd be kinda interesting and would make wilson a morally grey character

but no he's just a spoiled brat or whatever his archetype is supposed to be and we can throw away the entire symbolism about nathan and bockswell lotsabucks (that cartoon cat from the comics) and the fact that there is supposed to be nathan arch junior and senior making it clear that they changed their minds about the plot just to surprise people (even worse, they ADMIT to doing that in the interview that recently came out... as if it was a good thing ToT) but by doing so they just contradicted clues that existed there before that we could have gotten away from the damn books! like this just makes me not wanna buy any other books anymore because its a clear message that it doesnt fucking matter if we read them, theyre just there to tell us stories about random characters that also wont even appear in the games anyways but we will get 200 more audiologs from other randos we wont care for

again i gotta be sorry for being so negative but im just SO disappointed with batdr and with what the archives had to say

like whatever they are telling their story, its not a sin to be bad and scummy at writing (scummy as in not understanding that youre baiting people into buying extra things for understanding the lore and then making sure you surprise people anyway)

so basically

there is no use for theorising because the message is that they just want to surprise us so if we guess where theyre going they will just change the story no matter how much its gonna suck and contradict what happened before

i cannot comprehend how meatly sees that as a good thing but i guess thats how he wants to tell his stories and whatever makes them happy man

but i find it incredibly shady when you advertise your game as a mystery to be solved and personally this kills my enjoyment of the franchise

[nero-vanderwolf]

Ann remembers that day in first year like it happened yesterday.

It had been in summer, near break. She had been on her way to talk to Ryuji, to tell him her mom had agreed to him staying over. Instead, she witnessed the whole terrible incident.

Ryuji had yelled something at Kamoshida, and punched him. It was a solid hit, landed square in the teacher’s gut. In retaliation, Kamoshida had pushed Ryuji to the ground, pinned him, and snapped his leg at the joint.

The sound had echoed across the entire field like a gunshot, sending a cold chill down Ann’s spine. She remembers the cold feeling of dread in her stomach, the ice of her blood as she rushed forward to haul him to his feet, the rest of the track team moving away as though Ryuji held some sort of disease.

She remembers taking him to the nurse, waiting with him for Ms. Sakamoto to come get him. She remembers getting the text from Ryuji saying he was in the hospital, begging her parents to take her there immediately so she could check on her friend.

She remembers hugging him and crying, sobbing into his shirt. She remembers the mist in his eyes too, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

Ann knows Ryuji has grown since then. Less temperamental, mainly. He still hates his father, but no longer becomes violent at the mention of him. She’s proud of him, honestly.

She recognises Ryuji in Goro Akechi. She sees the same anger at injustice in his eyes, hears the same righteous bitterness in his voice. She recognises the way Akechi holds himself, the way he takes out his frustrations on Shadows. Maybe that’s why Ryuji hates him so much. Maybe Ryuji also sees himself in the detective, maybe Ryuji hates how similar they are. Or maybe he just hates how pretentious Akechi seems.

Ann pretends not to see the new pink line on Ryuji’s neck when he and Akechi come back from stealing all the poker chips in the room. She looks the other way when Ryuji winces as he adjusts his scarf to cover the mark, silently passes him a small bottle of medicine to help with the pain. She smiles when he does, pretends she isn’t worried about him.

She pretends not to see the bloodstains on Akechi’s sabre, pretends not to see the dried lines of blood on Ryuji’s neck. She looks the other way on a lot of things, pretends not to see. All for her friends, she supposes.

Ann cries when Akechi disappears, almost breaks when Ryuji comes back and Akechi doesn’t. She slaps him, but regret settles in immediately. She feels like she’s fifteen in first year again, clinging to Ryuji after he texts her that he’s in the hospital for a broken leg.

She feels small in the grand scheme of things as she hugs Ryuji, calls him an idiot for almost dying. She hugs him and ignores the way Ryuji reminds her of Akechi. She hugs him and pretends not to see their dead teammate in his smile, in the way he hugs her back and apologises.

Ann pretends not to see the ghost of Goro Akechi lingering in the shadow of Ryuji Sakamoto.

oh my god... this ones so good. ann feeling helpless to protect the ones she cares about. they're hurt yet she doesnt mention it, the visible hurt they have. and the fact that its not just ryuji and akechi who see themselves in each other, ann recognizes that might be why they hate each other. she recognizies the marks on ryuji. she recognizes that she finds akechi in ryuji after he died. she doesnt say anything though. she doesnt mention it at all, she just takes it. she doesnt want to say anything to anyone, she bottles it up so no one has to hear what she has to say.

[jemandthesingalongs]

ik it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things but i do, really hope that the rumored "s*lav*ll*n is the default worldstate" isn't...true? like personal feelings aside, bioware has never had a default worldstate, usually being kept vague or details changing between mediums. this includes romance, with one never being canon in any expanded media or even between games, despite the fact it could be argued certain romance choices have more ties to the plot overall (morrigan and anders for example). this made it feel like regardless of "plot importance", all romance choices (and race choices for that matter) were valid and one was never considered better or more important than the others.

so....idk if it is true that really feels like a big fuck you to anyone who didn't play a specific way (female elf) to romance a specific option (sol*s) as "less than" when going into this new game, that there is more value in this than any other character/romance or that the writers cared more about them.

and its not a great feeling!

[luminous-orb]

hey you ever think about how act 6 of wandersong doesnt have a the bard and the ___ song in its ost and instead the bards leitmotif gets incorporated into even the tiniest bugs instead later. i talked about this to a friend like a Hot minute ago and also i havent played wandersong in a bit so the analysis might be a bit watered down or jumbled but i think the bugs r like. similar to the bard in a storytelling sense. they really should not matter at all in the grand scheme of things. but like. the whole point of the bard is to defy destiny just by caring for others. a big thing about act 6 is being the most you you can be especially as we start to uncover audreys identity issues in this act and it like. it shows really well with kiwi figuring out a way out by just Being Themself and caring for those smaller than them. the tiny lil bugs who should not have been much of anything were ultimately the key to saving them and this wouldnt have happened if kiwi didnt just give them a chance. bc kiwi can make a difference here. not by being the hero but by being Themself. and that contrasts well with audreys part of the act. and that probably just kind of blended together because i cant be bothered to proofread my asks before sending them but i think about this a lot

to be honest it’s also been a While since I played wandersong and I haven’t listened to the ost nearly enough ]: I should really replay it even if I will get scared of the factory level again. but I went and listened to even the tiniest bugs and auughghggh the bards theme in it is so gentle?? there’s a big build up but then it’s so sweet and gentle?? I might have cried a bit.

I dunno if I can do good analysis given that I haven’t played the game in years but I think I see what you’re getting at. The game does just, an incredible job of showing the bard’s pov and how much it hurts them to not be the hero and have nobody expect anything of them (I definitely did cry at chapter 4) but ultimately I feel worse for audrey? because she has zero choices in the whole ordeal, plays her role perfectly, and Still eyala is dismissive of her because it wasn’t really about Her in the first place, there’s no room for personhood when you’re just there to play a role. so while the bard starts with no one believing in them, they have endless room for growth and choice and Becoming someone important while still staying true to themself, while audrey is forever stuck at just being “the hero”

[meatriarchived]

but also, how opposites attract bringing danny and maria close.

how theyve both had some rough upbringings - his father being a.busive and driving his mom away, hers abandoning them and mama flores and having to grow up faster in that respect to help raise ana and make sure they got by - how that in turn soured danny and made him rough around the edges, pointed jagged ends, walled and beat his emotions into the dirt in order to protect himself vs maria choosing to turn that hurt into motivation to be there for ana, to be something positive and help her understand that while yes what papa flores did was fucking cruel and heartless, theres still so much to the world to not get hung up over it too much, so much love and peace and beauty and kindness and awe to everything that allowing one person, one bad deed, etc ruin all of it for you doesnt need to happen.

its dannys unending pessimism at life and people and distrust in intention or behavior that isolates him and renders it difficult to make alot of meaningful bonds with people. and its marias unrelenting optimism that says yes people can be bad and yes people can do bad but that doesnt always mean they are ALWAYS bad. its the yes we go through horrible experiences and meet horrible people and alot of times that sticks with us and alters how we react to events or other people, but letting it take such a looming presence in your life can be so detrimental and its allowing them to have such a chokehold and control over you that they dont deserve to have. not all people are always bad, and not all of them are always good, and she believes its more harmful to always have that guard up so firmly rather than allow people the chance to show they arent - like she did with him.

its the difference of how they both viewed the world vs marias impact on him that alters it and vice versa.

how maria looks at the world around her and finds importance, significance, love, peace in so much and how most seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of things but how it is appreciating those little things that in her eyes matter. its sitting in a field watching the petals on the wildflowers dance in the breeze. its lying in the grass and watching clouds lazily float on by. its getting caught in a downpour and running out barefoot to stand in the rain. its stepping out during snowfall and catching the flakes on your tongue. its bonding with your pet and welcoming them up to huddle with you to sleep. the sound of laughter, the smiles of your friends, the love thats shared with slices of oranges and clementines. so much that seems so small unassuming unimportant in the general of life but that she personally believes to be so important to notice, at least every once in a while.

how for him life was always stones being thrown at you, how the smiles on friends faces were normally that of mocking, hate, vitriol. how theres suspicion in someone walking nearby with head ducked and glancing sideways at you. how so called comradery, so called friendship was love with balled fists cracking against jaws or kicking you on the ground and leaving you there without a care, with only laughter and jokes made at your expense. how the only thing danny saw when he would sit beside her looking out at fields was, how nice it'd be to just fucking run off and disappear and never be seen or heard from again. how the red petals of some of the wildflowers look like bloodstains strewn about the meadow rather than something gentle, something soft.

how sitting there listening to her, time and time and time again, slowly altered those views and made him start to see things a little differently. how yeah to him the flowers are still flowers and rain or snow are still just that - but its the moment being lived in, experienced, that changes how you view it. how flowers in the breeze reminds him of her perfumes or lotion. how snow reminds him of those snowball fights rather than standing alone at parks watching families have fun together during the holidays.

its small things, that she helped him seeing, that makes him slowly change over the years. that makes it easier to connect with others, bond with new faces that he otherwise never would have bothered even saying a simple hello to. like maria is, truly, such a vital person in his life and losing her really is just fucking devastating to him.

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

It was claudia's choice to stay and make the new house rules though?? she could've said no and simply left before louis let lestat back in the house but she didn't want to go without him. but i think once she agreed on the terms, whats so unreasonable about louis expecting she would also try to make the family work.. but she's acting that way because she knows things louis doesn't yet know in that scene. he thinks everyone's making an effort except her so he's scolding her for disturbing what he believes is their hard earned peace (which we later find out actually all that was a lie).

i mean yeah, but shes also 14. and black. and a girl. she can leave and go where? and how long will she survive on her own? she can’t leave anymore than louis? why am i to be understanding about louis staying and not understanding about her staying?

i felt that from a place of having seen the impact of bringing an abuser back in the home from her perspective. of a parent that denies the abuse a child is facing and berates them for how they respond and the symptoms of trauma that brings up in them. of having someone talk to you like they arent connecting the dots or at least making room to say it makes sense why youre acting this way. but this isnt helping. this goes into him not being able to really guid her through this. and i get why. i just feel her frustration. bc i have seen it. i have heard it. i have felt it. why would i reduce her behavior and anger to her plotting and not see the full breath of the betrayal and anger? shes not just acting that way because louis doesn’t know. shes acting that way bc she has a perspective that doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things that rule didn’t stand a chance. lestat does not abide by rules.

she didnt believe lestat bc lestat as been saying he’s gonna be done w Antoinette since before she was even in the picture. im not blaming louis for believing him. but lestat manipulated his way in. claudia isnt gonna just go along with that. bc she can see that. people have joked about how louis would have taken him back sooner if claudia wasnt even there. and it angers her that louis believed him. and i understand why he believed him. im asking. why doesnt claudia get gentleness too.

why doesnt louis say hey please stop with that for all the reasons that was brought up. why call her ugly?? why do that?? he made a 14 year old vampire immortal and locked into her 14 year old sensibilities why expect something else? hes tired and going through his own mental illness and trauma symptoms and he believes her to be the only one not trying. but in his reasons for how lestat is trying is he cut it off with the singer. well thats a reason centered around loustat. and for claudia piano lessons etc. but how is he taking care to amend the break he caused in their relationship? is she really the only one not trying??

thats what im saying. i know why he’s behaving that way. and im angry about how that impacts claudia. and im angry about how he’s impacted by the abuse. but he chose to show her that anger and irritation and that rubs me the wrong way. i have had kids crying to me about how they feel they nahave neither parent. bc it could have been “i know you only giving him what he gives you but thats not you.” instead it was “your ugly” bc its the trauma show.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I THINK I MANAGED TO ACCIDENTALLY PRESS THE BACK KEY REPEATEDLY OR SOMETHING BUT LIKE TWO PARAGRAPHS OF WRITING ARE GONE AND IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME TO CTRL+Z BACK INTO EXISTENCE BUT NOW MY PROGRAM CRASHED SO I DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT ANYMORE IT'S ALL GONE PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW

[temporalrange]

like i dont know. i do sincerely believe there is something devastatingly romantic about a relationship between two people where one is acutely aware that she simply doesnt have the time to get to know the other person, no matter how much she wants to. “i’m trying so hard to find you” is forever going to be gut wrenching to me in a way i cant imagine not being moved by. the pervasive loneliness and futility of searching in that dynamic. there not having been a kiss means little in the grand scheme of things—it doesn’t erase the care and depth there. 

at least until the ride is over. we have this.

the other date feels incredibly triumphant because They Win, even though it is incredibly crass to say so. but they Win in the sense that they have the time. the world is falling apart but that doesnt mean i have to lose you too

[odinsblog]

grrrrr

jesus god lordt help me

istg …. i was recently at a small party for one of my elders who just turned 82! and it was a nice time and everything (yes, we were all masked up & vaxxed up), and somehow - pls don’t ask me how - the subject of cleaning your ears came up (im almost 40 and i was one of the youngest people there, so the conversations are what they were)

anyway, all of my elders strongly believe in cleaning your ears by inserting a q-tip and violently digging around

WHICH IS FUCKING NUTS TO ME

and inevitably my elders end up spouting some old debunked advertising campaign made specifically to sell q-tips, and whenever i point this out, they fall back on “old skool” remedies that us young folk dont know nothing about

and internally im fucking screaming, “do you think maybe the fact that your hearing is falling off so precipitously has ANYTHING to do with the fact that youve spent decades digging around in your eardrum like its a fucking goldmine?? maybe? perhaps???”

sn: i honestly believe its mostly a black thing

but yeah, silly me

one thing i learned a while back is, 1) emotions and nostalgia will almost always trump being right, and 2) it is not your job to embarrass or beat someone down by smugly telling them theyre dumb and stupid

in the grand scheme of things, this is small. its maybe a 2 on a scale of 10. inconsequential

but my constant lesson im learning and re-learning is that sometimes its more important to let others come to their own decisions about things, and always always always be willing to accept that they might never come around

if they are someone you love, you wont belittle them. not even when youre right and theyre wrong. no matter how annoyed you might be. being “right” isnt always the most important thing. it just isnt. not always

and being right doesnt always win arguments and it doesnt always change peoples minds and opinions

if the person is someone you care about, what might change their mind is not mocking or belittling them, and just being there for them even when theyre not quite correct on the little things in life

[thompsborn]

!! the return of harley “daddy issues” keener (or is it mostly new angst? or mostly, like, physical?)

okay i love all these anons but also i am trying So Hard to not spoil things omg. please send more but also if i lowkey spoil something eventuallly it’s not my fault !! it actually definitely is entirely my fault but shhh

but anyways, kind of and also kind of not?

so like, in to build a family harley and peter are teenagers, but not like homeward bound. they’re high schoolers still, yk? they’re younger and haven’t gone through all the things that homeward bound harley and peter have gone through. i only bring up tbaf because obviously harley has Daddy Issues™ in tbaf. even before the second fic when his dad dies and he has to deal with that—in the first fic there’s a part where harley reminds his sister of their dad bc of how he left to go to new york and it’s this whole moment, yk? but he’s younger in tbaf and since tbaf is like not at all canon compliant to the mcu, they’ve gone through a lot less in comparison to hb, yk?

i say all that because while daddy issues are an ongoing lifelong thing for homeward bound harley, they aren’t as detrimental or as Big as they are in tbaf or other fics i’ve written where that comes up. hb harley is still effected by his daddy issues but he’s 18, he’s in college, he died for 5 years and came back to find out tony died, he has some family stuff that will be further explored and explained in the sequel with his mom and sister, and now also he has peter and the knowledge that peter is spider-man and the heaviness that comes with peter’s tragedies and past as well.

it’s a heaviness he’s okay with, don’t get me wrong, he’s more than happy to be there for peter and to learn these things and has been curious about peter since the first time peter walked into late night (again, will be explained more in the sequel!) but it’s heavy nonetheless, you know?

essentially, in the grand scheme of things, while he’s still impacted by his daddy issues, he also just… doesnt care anymore? like not caring doesn’t erase the impact but also he barely thinks of his dad and when he does he doesnt feel angry or upset or any of the things he felt in the past about his dad leaving, he just… doesnt care. he’s been through so much at this point that it’s just Another Thing. he’s desensitized to it to the point that like, why does it matter? it doesn’t.

there’s a part in hb, i can’t remember which chapter but it’s a small texting segment in one of the chapters where harry talks about him harley and peter making a no dad’s club for funsies and in that text convo harley mentions that he has a dad he just doesnt know where he is and doesn’t care enough to find out.

also, to answer that last part—it’s new angst that includes physical stuff! there’s gonna be… a lot lmao. i have a lot of things planned for this series, a lot of ideas taken from various comics, from the movies, from the games, etc. i’m even planning to read through plotlines for some of the animated series to see if there’s any additional ideas to draw from there.

but like, think of it this way, i guess: harley cares. a LOT. like some of his remaining daddy issues have developed in the form of being a bit slow to trust new people, but like he’s mentioned in the fic, once he chooses to care about someone, he is ALL IN. he is COMMITTED. and now that he knows about peter being spidey and is actively choosing to be involved in that, his instincts and his heart are going to want to do anything and everything he can to help.

okay actually sorry this answer is SO long BUT i remembered something i had harley say and i went back and looked and in chapter three he tells peter “my Mama says I have the heart of a protector” and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IM TRYING TO CONVEY HERE LMAO so THAT is who he is at heart yk?

and peter is gonna be in a lot of dangerous situations as spidey, and as the series goes on people connected to him are going to be in danger because of spidey, and essentially like…. a lot of emotions and a lot of angst and a lot of potential for getting hurt, yk?

i need to stop here because i keep almost saying fuck it and giving an example that is definitely a spoiler but yeah. take that as you will (:

[chilope]

re: dogwhistles everywhere: ok, but also there is a wave of statements to the tune of "oh, you say [real aspect of the ongoing ethnic cleansing]? what bullshit lie, you are obviously only saying that bc you believe in [antisemitic dogwhistle]".

i dont. care? like. okay. im going to get on a box real quick and then not talk about this at all anymore.

israel is doing an ethnic cleansing. thats bad. israeli nationism is bad. us support for israel is bad. as us citizens, we have an obligation to oppose our governments support for israel. we have an obligation to call our representatives, to protest, to vote for politicians who will fight back. nothing that anyone says on tumblr about anything that is happening matters at all even a little bit. real time updates about the war crimes dont stop the war crimes from happening. long posts about israels right to exist dont stop the war crimes from happening either.

im frustrated both by the antisemitic dogwhistles and by the jews on this site who insist on making really long posts about how people are being mean to jews as a result of the war crimes. like, antisemitic tumblr posts arent in the same hemisphere as an ethnic cleansing, it feels gross and unnecessary to focus on it. but also, we live here!!

like. this isnt important. im gonna start with that. in the grand scheme of things its just not important. but the little circle of people who exist 1 or 2 degrees from me on tumblr is so chock fucking full of bald antisemitism its mind boggling to me. and it just sits there, all the time, completely unchallenged and unchecked. its normal, its fine, its good even. and then the conflict gets out of hand again and i sit here and watch a bunch of people that i like and respect hold hands with antisemites and talk about how bad israel is. and theyre right!! israel is bad!!

so on the one hand you have a bunch of people saying that the ethnic cleansing isnt happening, or is fine actually, or talking about it is antisemitic. and theyre wrong, and i want them to stop, and also nothing they say matters. but most importantly, i dont actually know them. i dont interact with anyone who says that stuff. i know theyre out there, ive seen screenshots of their posts. but they arent holding hands with anyone i care about.

on the other hand, you have a bunch of people who hate jews, who openly hate jews, who have hated jews for years, who have openly stated they dont want jews to exist, who keep sneaking antisemitic dogwhistles into anti-israeli posts. and theyre getting reblogged by people i like. and again, nothing they say matters. none of these posts impacts actual policy or public sentiment in literally any way. it just doesnt matter!

the only thing that gets impacted by any of this is the the willingness of the people i associate with to tolerate ethnic cleansing apologism (a thing that i have not seen happen) or antisemitism (a thing i have watched happen in real time over the last few years).

so one post slipped through. one. i reblogged *one* post about antisemitism.

like. i *get* that it doesnt fucking matter. some guy on tumblr making a post about how jews should be exterminated isnt on the same level of anything as an actual, literal genocide. it isnt even on the same level as anti-black hiring discrimination, or police violence, or homophobia. but man it sucks that a bunch of my friends are friends with that guy! wish that wasnt true! wish i didnt have to see his posts because people still think hes so cool and insightful!

but it doesnt matter, it really doesnt, and neither do the "actually you only oppose israel because youre antisemitic!" posts. its all just a bunch of powerless angry people yelling at each other to feel better. it doesnt accomplish anything. call your senator, donate to palestinian relief, start a fight with your uncle over thanksgiving.

and leave me alone. that too.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

i hope that youre not getting too much hate for expressing your opinions and im looking forward to getting to know more about your future projects! ive been a fan of wayhaven books for a couple of years out and whilst its one of my faves, but that doesnt mean that i dont have any criticisms about it. i honestly think you made a lot of valid points. whilst i understand that wayhaven can be a comfort series for some people, i dont think that media should be exempt from criticism for doing the bare minimum. i thought she had gotten sensitivity readers, yet as someone whos demi myself, the portrayal of A's demisexuality throughout the series has been horrendous and it feels like it was just tacked on for no reason. the whole plot point with sin, a deity that used to be worshipped by assyrians being enslaved by the trappers was honestly not necessary in my opinion, i felt like maybe sensitivity readers would have pointed that out or something? but at least they freed my boy in the end so idk.

Honestly I don't care if people like it or not, because as I've said before, I used to be a big enough stan of the first two games that I recommended it to two whole people who also bought both games. I've actively made the author more money. Which is why I think I'm perfectly within my right to dunk on this thing now, because I used to be a fan, I used to love it, and I still very much enjoy a lot of the fan content created for it. Hell, there were some moments and ideas in book 3 that I actually liked, despite everything. I still think a lot about the potential of these stories and characters. It's not all rotten to the core, there is plenty of good stuff to be enjoyed that can very much be salvaged.

So I honestly don't think that people who enjoy it are like, beneath me or stupid or anything. I don't think they're the problem, I think they're there for the exact same thing I was: a silly vampire romance simulator. And if some of them are happy with what they're getting, then more power to them! But I think they deserve better than they're getting. And judging by the amount of people who have come to me privately and said "Thank you for speaking about this, I would too but I'm too scared to hurt people's feelings/speak out against a popular IF", it's pretty obvious that the quality just isn't there anymore, and that's okay to point out, too.

And I'm not out here trying to cancel it or anything. It's pretty small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, being "big" in the IF world means you're an older kid in a half-empty sandbox. I don't think people who buy or create content for it are doing something bad, in fact it's probably better to support smaller indie creators than ... other stuff. So like ... I don't have issues with people enjoying it.

I just wanted it to be better. I wanted to like it, because I liked it before. And I feel that it could have easily been better if more care was put into it, and maybe there was, but I just don't see it on the page anymore. It used to feel like an actual book, actual interactive fiction that you played and that was worth reading and interacting with. Like there was a world to inhabit and characters to connect with. Now, it's a collection of tired drabbles and fanfic fodder loosely connected by time skips, where you have to headcanon it into mattering and being interesting. I dunno, man. What's there just isn't worth the hype anymore.

[kamari333]

Important question; will we see the end of the problem that is susan?

I have no idea! XD

I dont tend to plan my stories ahead of time. I post them as they’re written, and until theyre posted even I cant be sure what will or wont happen.

to a certain extent, Susan (if that even is her real name) Knightly isn’t particularly important in the grand scheme of things. From a narrative perspective, her existence functions the same way as environmental factors.

as a character, Ms Knightly is a rather mundane being, selfish and uneducated, lacking in both empathy and introspection. she is one of those superficial types that doesnt have the capacity to acknowledge when she had done something wrong in a way that matters, so there isnt really a way to end her except to kill her off. those types are too wrapped up in their own self interests to care what their actions do to those around them, so peaceful solutions don’t really exist.

…or thats my current viewpoint anyway. maybe there are motivations and depths i’m just not aware of. maybe susan will basically always be susan, doing susan things, susan-ly, and whether or not those things continue to be red’s problem, i can’t know until the end.