Re: Your Addams Family Post, I now have the mental image of Gomez pretty much adopting Hob as another brother/cousin/what have you. "Children! Met your new Uncle!"
It starts with the auction.
Hob doesn't think of himself as a collector, but he's also self-aware enough that his doing so is more of a defense mechanism than anything else. Because he does. He collects. He can't help himself -- so much of his life can only be traced backwards through the shapes he's left behind, his self, of a necessity, always needing to vanish into the background. He follows his own history through letters to Dear Robert Gadlyn, portraits painted with one of his hats in the background, an authentic Victorian jacket supposedly worn by Wilde himself, and which Hob vividly remembers shucking from Oscar's shoulders, leaving it to puddle forgotten on the floor while they'd kissed in sweet silence on the settee.
So when he gets an email from his friend Kev at Hansons, a "check this book out mate" sort of deal with an eyes emoji appended to it, Hob is already intrigued. Kev is good at finding him the more esoteric things for his not-collection, and hasn't steered him wrong before, and he's not disappointed when he opens the link to find a listing for a book. A book, specifically, from the 1600s. Being an Account of the Dread Pirate Sylvia, her Ancestors, her Descendants, and Her Pets, it says, though it's not the title that catches his eye so much as the provided scans of some of the pages. The handwriting is beautiful, flowing and elegant and heavy on the page, and it makes his heart ache for a time before keyboards and typewriters, when gorgeous penmanship could be counted as a virtue and not just a hobby. There are sketches of fantastical sea beasts, navigational maps, the most beautifully-rendered charcoal drawing of an orca he's ever seen, and.
And a drawing of him.
Not him as he was in 1699, when this was apparently written, but him in 1374. Him, younger, fresh-faced, just a slip of a beard still, his head tilted back, laughing. Great great etc grandmother's cousin, says a caption beneath it, in that same heavy and flowing hand. Late 1300s? Must track him down
Motherfucker, Hob thinks, and sends a few emails.
Twenty-four hours later, he's the proud owner of a fantastically well-preserved diary/travelogue/grimoire, having shelled out a significant amount of funds to even get the thing, on account of some American trying to outbid him at every turn. He's not surprised, then, when he gets an email shortly after his final bid has been locked in, from the rather posh-sounding
[email protected]
The contents of the email, though. Are, to say the least, alarming.
I say my dear boy, it starts, I don't suppose we could come to an agreement as to a different price for Lady Penelope Addams' only surviving diary? If you're interested in antiques of rich and unusual history, I am certain I can provide. Only it contains one of very few references to a lost branch of our family, the Lady Penelope's great great etc grandmother and her kin, and I, being invested in genealogy, am eager to explore this hidden part of our family tree.
Absolutely not, Hob thinks, shutting his laptop with a click. Absolutely buggering bloody fuck not, he thinks, shoving a sweater into his suitcase, because it's winter, and it's Chicago, and he has no idea what sort of weather to expect. This is fucking insanity, he thinks, hands folded in his lap on the plane.
What are you doing? he asks himself, as the door to the grand gothic manor opens, and Hob, who has just trekked a portion of a mile through a swamp and had to kick an alligator to keep it from lunging at his suitcase, looks down at the man who had identified himself in emails as Gomez Addams, his. His relative. Somehow, far distant, but his.
"Robert Gadling," he says, with obvious relish, and Hob feels himself hooked by the crook of his elbow, hauled into the foyer with surprising force. "Come in! Come in! Children! Come meet your new uncle!"
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LBTE: Jared (118-121)
We head to Vancouver! And Joey makes the news.
If you want to follow along, the series page is here.
TW for a homophobic slur in here.
118. Niceties
Jared calls Bryce back, and manages not to cry on the phone. He packs with the help of an even quieter than usual Julius. He calls his mom, and promises he’ll talk to his dad tomorrow, because he can’t yet, he knows his dad being furious on his behalf is going to be just — too much.
They’re often so united on a hockey standpoint — remember Don’s gone to hundreds if not thousands of Jared’s games over the years, accompanied with almost as many debriefs — that talking to Don about stuff, especially stuff that they’re both angry or upset about, is often hearing his own thoughts from another person. And when he’s trying to suppress some of those thoughts so he doesn’t burst into tears, talking to Don is unhelpful.
He’s got a text from a 604 number when he gets off the phone. Hey, welcome to the Canucks! This is Gabe Markson. I’m probably your new centre. Sorry about the downgrade. Let me know if there’s anything you need. Whether that’s a ride from the airport or help finding a place, we got you.
Gabe!!!
It’s nice, especially since Jared’s used to being basically the only person he knows who uses proper capitalisation and punctuation in his texts, with the exception of Raf and Grace.
Love that Jared immediately approves of Gabe thanks to the magic of punctuation use.
hi new teammate! it says, followed by a slew of hockey related emojis and four blue whales. Jared guesses there aren’t any orcas.
Dmitry! Who forgot to identify himself.
“I can’t believe my mom gets to see you tomorrow and I don’t,” Bryce complains.
Which one is he more jealous of, I ask?
“We’re going to talk shit about you behind your back,” Jared says.
“Pft,” Bryce says, with the certainty of a man who knows his mother would never, even though his husband totally would.
Elaine is a Saint, and you can’t tell Bryce otherwise (or Jared, honestly)
He grabs a smoothie at Booster Juice, can just see Raf’s judgmental eyes, since it’s like, okay, only a smoothie in the loosest sense — chocolate almond milk and banana and frozen yogurt, a vaguely more socially acceptable milkshake for breakfast. Whatever. He deserves it.
The Funky Monkey is delicious. It also contains 67 grams of sugar. But jokes on Raf, the ostensibly more nutritious one he ordered after loser bought the winner a smoothie in their rookie years? Has 73. (and way more protein, but!)
Jared’s kind of figured out the standard of lying about his and Bryce’s marriage is that lying by omission: cool and also often necessary. Lying by lying? Not okay.
The current status of their compromise.
“I think you just jinxed me to get injured like, my first practice,” Jared says.
“Please don’t, our LTIR is literally just a list of all my former linemates right now,” Markson says.
Gabe is unfortunately not exaggerating. But on the bright side, their D is very healthy!
Raf says Oleg Kurmazov tells him not to take anything his brother says seriously, and between that and Markson’s surprise at how tame the text Jared got is, he’s getting a faintly terrifying picture of what to expect. If he got away from Jacobi just to play on a line with another Jacobi, he swears —
Jared is going to suffer and I will enjoy every minute of it.
That seems like the kind of thing the hockey gods would do. Not that Jared believes in them in a non-joking way, but the irony of Bryce and Jared swapping hometown teams feels exactly like something those non-existent hockey gods would do.
I am the hockey gods. It's a fun job, honestly. And also truly is hard to avoid a bit of sadism, I understand the not-real-but-also-don’t-wash-that-jersey IRL hockey gods.
Jared writes ‘Bryce Marcus’, and, in case there was any doubt it’s just a weird name doppelganger, Bryce’s date of birth probably cancels that out.
It’s not like the Canucks can trade him until the season’s over anyway.
Way less scary to write it in a form than tell your GM in a face to face meeting, but still pretty big.
“The leftovers are the best part,” Elaine says serenely when Jared questions her judgment on portion size. “Just pick whatever you like.”
What Jared apparently would like, is everything. Elaine may have made a good call, because he’s famished.
Her mom sense extends to you now too, Jared. And she’s right about leftovers.
“How jealous are you right now?” Jared says.
“I want to be there too,” Bryce complains.
“We had Chinese,” Jared says. “I’m sleeping over.”
“Stop rubbing it in,” Bryce says.
He's so pouty right now.
19. Acclimation
Jared’s nervous, walking into practice. It feels like the first day of school, but more — maybe the first day of school after you transfer. To a school of your enemies.
Evil Orca High.
Jared doesn’t ask what she needs to be downtown for, because he suspects the answer is ‘so I can drive you home’ but she’d make an excuse, so.
I mean, yes, but also: she's going shopping. Bryce didn't get that from nowhere.
but Elaine’s like Bryce — doing nice shit genuinely seems to make them happy.
Jared does not understand.
“We do not do this last names bullshit here,” Kurmazov says sternly, before tossing him a roll. “Dmitry. I don’t care if you pronounce it wrong, everyone does.”
Unlike his poor brother, stuck being referred to solely as Kurmazov by his own adopted hockey child for literal years.
“Please tell me you’re not like doing a Riley-Lapointe, married to a rival thing though,” Foster says.
“Um?” Jared says.
“Okay!” Foster says. “Okay. I. That’s fine!”
Poor Brian has not learned a key GM duty: keeping his inside thoughts on the inside.
“Good,” Foster says. “Maybe have a chat with Gabe? If there’s anything you’re concerned about, or — he’s good people, he’ll listen.”
Brian leaning so hard on 'please talk to our queer player about this' without actually saying it.
“Have I told you how happy we are to have you on the roster?” Brian says, and Jared has the sudden urge to hug him, but he’s pretty damn positive hugging your GM is not appropriate.
As far as GMs go, he is pretty huggable, despite the fact he could still likely snap Jared in two.
“I redecorated your room a little today,” Elaine says. “Bryce told me which mattress you guys like and they delivered it right away, it was terrific, and I’ve put Bryce’s spare clothes in storage, so there’s space in the closet and the dresser for your things, and in the bathroom too — I got a shower caddy, and the medicine cabinet’s —”
Count is at 3 magic beds now. Also she's nervous, bless her: she really wants Jared to feel welcome.
She’s taken the Canucks stuff out too, which he appreciates, because it was funny when he was visiting with Bryce, giving him shit about it, but feels faintly weird now that’s playing for them.
Can you imagine how much shit he would get. Can you.
“It’s like ten years old,” Bryce says. Jared wonders if Bryce and Elaine rehearsed the ‘override Jared’s protests’ together. “Need to play at your best, you know?”
Well, Bryce had to prepare her for Jared's tendency to turn down gifts.
The Canucks aren’t the Oilers, and if Jared wants to stay in the roster, avoid getting sent halfway across the continent to Utica, there’s no slacking off here.
The Canucks' AHL team is now in Abbotsford, which is a mere 70 km from Vancouver, but for literal years it was in upstate New York and boy were emergency recalls of players a fucking mess. Only arrangement I can think of that was less convenient was Montreal's farm team briefly being in Newfoundland, less because of distance (though there was plenty) and more because of weather and lack of alternate forms of transportation if Canadian winter was being Canadian winter (inevitably, it was).
Anyway, Jared has nothing to worry about: those cursed former linemates are all pretty far off from rejoining the roster.
“Okay, we’re both equally awesome,” Jared says.
“You’re more awesome,” Bryce says huffily.
Even their arguments are gross.
120. Machiavellianism
Jared has now seen a lot of Joey Munroe. Like — all of him.
Joey is not having a good day, everybody.
“You and Bryce don’t send each other nudes, do you?” his mom asks instead of saying ‘hello’.
“What!” Jared says. “Mom!”
“It’s a valid concern!” his mom says. “Just tell me you don’t and I’ll drop it!”
The cold fear that went through her body when she saw that article.
“How was your day?” his mom asks.
“Well, no one leaked nudes of me, so better than his,” Jared says.
“You said there were no nudes!” she says.
“I meant it hypothetically mom, oh my god,” Jared says.
They're both actively shrieking at one another at this point.
Greg’s sent him an email with no subject, the body reading ‘Would this be something to worry about? Greg’ because everyone in his life is collectively trying to murder him with embarrassment.
Greg also had the cold fear moment.
Jared’s too mature to respond with ‘No, oh my god’. Well, he clearly isn’t, because that’s exactly what he said to his mother, but he responds to Greg with a simple ‘No, nothing to worry about’, then, after a moment of thought, cc’s Summers in the email so hopefully Bryce doesn’t have to deal with the mortification too.
This is why Jared's Dave's favourite.
Maybe Jared’s too dumb to be Machiavellian. It’s distinctly possible.
I like that Jared has this thought and then later just goes straight back to schemes, some of which work out…poorly
“You see the thing with the Scout?” Jared asks before their game against the Golden Seals, voice carefully pitched low so Dmitry won’t overhear.
“Yeah,” Gabe says. “That was super fucked up.”
“That he’s gay, or—”
I know Jared's fishing. You know Jared's fishing. Gabe just hears a dude saying 'yeah it's fucked up he's gay' when he's already in a clenched stomach bad mood about this.
He feels even more off when he notices Gabe talking to Munroe at centre ice, both of them looking serious. Maybe they know one another, but Gabe wasn’t talking about him like he knew him personally when Jared brought it up. Gabe skates away, skates back when another Scout calls his name, and Jared watches warily. It doesn’t look like a fight, or like Gabe was giving him shit? But then, there’s no way to tell.
Gabe's a good boy. Reminder that the other Scout was Scratch communing with Gabe, as he is obligated to do with every other Torontonian, while Joey silently sighed at him. Already married.
“What’d you tell Munroe?” Jared asks.
“That I was really sorry that happened to him,” Gabe says. “And that I don’t know what he’ll deal with from other teams, but that none of the Canucks are going to be assholes about it.”
“You can’t exactly guarantee that,” Jared says.
“I know our room,” Gabe says, then frowns at him. “I don’t need to tell you not to be an asshole about it, right?”
All members of Canuck leadership would lose their shit if someone was an asshole about it. Well, that's not true. Gabe would do 'I'm really disappointed in your behaviour', and that would hurt the most.
Oh great, Jared’s just — really hitting his accidentally appearing homophobic stride with Gabe lately.
He could not do better if he tried.
The loss isn’t his fault — the Scouts terrifyingly talented first line is responsible for every single goal
Stupid sexy Willy. Stupid shitty Shithead.
“But would you be cool about it?” Jared asks. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to be cool, he’s the YCP rep—”
“Casterley’s the YCP rep for the Flames,” Bryce says. “And he calls the refs faggots every time we get a goal disallowed.”
Hey remember when Andrew Shaw got suspended for calling the ref that exact thing and became the Canadiens' YCP representative after? Because I do.
Also: you may recall Casterley as the dude low-key cheating on his wife in Luke's narrative. He sucks.
“I get it,” Bryce says. “Good luck?”
Jared’s faintly concerned at this rate he’s going to somehow come off as homophobic when he’s coming out, so he probably needs it.
I mean, if anyone could…
“Elaine and I hate it,” Jared says. “No more fights.”
“You can’t just team up with my mom against me,” Bryce mutters.
“We’re an awesome team, though,” Jared says. “The best team.”
Way to shut Bryce down. Man can't argue that.
121. Confession
“I can—” Jared interrupts, because if he doesn’t get it out soon he knows he’s going to balk. “I’m um. I’m married.”
“Okay,” Gabe says, frowning the exact same way Foster did, like he’s confused by the nonsequitor. Which is understandable.
Generally the wedding ring speaks for itself.
“Dude,” Gabe says. “I’m not kidding. You met Stephen. Like, for a minute, but you met him.”
“Your roommate?” Jared asks.
“He’s my boyfriend,” Gabe says, and the living arrangements suddenly make way more sense.
To be fair if there was anywhere someone making NHL money would require a roommate, Vancouver’s near the top of the list.
“Dmitry, all of the vets know for sure,” Gabe says. “Pretty much everyone who’s been here since before this season. I think the entire roster has figured out he’s my boyfriend. We’re not shouting it from the rooftops or anything, because the media—” he makes a face Jared wholly agrees with, “— but we’re not hiding it from the team.”
Stephen routinely hosting wine parties for the WAGs is a pretty big tell, there.
“I don’t think they’d be adopting my husband any time soon,” Jared says before he can stop himself.
“Stephen’s like the grumpiest person alive sometimes, if they adopted him I’m sure your husband will be part of the crew in a day,” Gabe says.
Yeah, he'll do okay.
“I told him you guys have the same sense of humour and view of the world and stuff,” Gabe says.
Jared is no less confused, and now he’s kind of curious what Gabe thinks Jared’s sense of humour and view of the world is.
“Like —” Jared says finally. “Snide? And — cynical? Or—”
“Yeah, he’s going to love you,” Gabe says with a laugh.
A minion of his very own?! Gabe, you shouldn't have!
Schmid’s in the shower when Jared gets back, and who knows when he got in it, how long that’ll last, but he’s a bathroom hog, takes forever with his whole grooming thing — Jared has no clue what takes so long, dude always looks unkempt, but maybe that’s a purposeful look? — so Jared’s probably safe.
Poor Schmid doing nothing but minding his own business in the proximity of the most judgmental man alive.
And that’s on top of Jared getting to play for Bryce’s childhood team, to live in his childhood home with Bryce’s mom. Jared’s pretty much living the life Bryce would have wanted growing up. Except not even, because Jared’s probably living the life Bryce would never have dreamt he could have possibly have when he was growing up. And there wasn’t a hint of resentment in Bryce’s voice when he told Jared he was happy for him.
“I love you, you know that?” Jared asks.
“I know,” Bryce says, which Jared needs to hear more than ‘I love you too’ right now, though Bryce says it immediately after, because he’s Bryce.
Bryce <3
“Chaz could come, it could be like,” Bryce says. “Chill. Like, we could grab drinks or dinner or something somewhere. Maybe not like — I don’t know if I’d be ready for him to like, know who we are to each other, not when I don’t actually know him, but like — meeting him’s the first step, you know?”
Chaz will not find this chill. Chaz will find this the opposite of chill, in fact.
“Because I’m snide and cynical,” Jared says. It maybe comes out a little snidely, because seriously, how is Bryce still confused.
“No you aren’t,” Bryce says.
“Bryce,” Jared says.
“But like in a good way!” Bryce protests. “I like it from you!”
<333333 Bryce
Though it’s faintly worrying that Gabe picked up on those things within weeks of meeting him, especially because Jared has been on his best behaviour the whole time. Apparently Jared’s best behaviour’s still noticeably snide.
Such a lack of self-knowledge. And actual good behaviour. Jared is admirably true to himself, though!
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Ok, so I don't know what you think about a villain! gang orca
As if a mafia boss who is he use his ultrasound attack to the max he could destroy someone's lungs and heart from the inside (this isn't a joke, I just research if ultrasound can kill you and this is how it happens), or just snap someone's neck with one hand.
I don't want gore if you're not comfortable with it,
I just want to ask about a villain! Gang Orca being too overprotective, maybe to the point of being a yandere (again, only if you're comfortable with it), asking them where they are constantly, and having someone follow them asa bodyguard, against S/O's will or not, that's up to you
I love this! I'm comfortable with this sorry for the late reply!
Gang Orca (Kugo Sakamata) x GN!Reader
Summary: Request up top!
Warnings: Stalking, Mention of Blood, Violence, Yandere Kugo/Gang Orca
You sigh out as you feel your phone go off again; looking down at the screen, you could see the name 'Kugo' splayed across it. You sigh again and answer the phone. "Babe I sa- "Where are you, it's been hours I want you back home NOW!" He yells into the phone. You roll your eyes, "Babe it's only been an hour, look I'm almost done how about I bring you some fish your favorite" You say into the phone with a smile. You hear him huff "Okay fine but be careful" he says in defeat, "Okay love you see you in a few" You say and end the call.
-
You finish picking up Kugo's fish and start to walk home. You text Kugo to let him know that you'll be home in a bit with a fish emoji. You stop in your tracks to see his reply, which was his normal replay, a red heart. You smile and continue to walk down the street into a dark alleyway. You could hear someone walking behind you, but you think nothing of it as people walk down, this was all the time right?
Before you could take your turn, you felt someone's hands cover your mouth. Your eyes go wide as you feel something cold and sharp be pressed up against your neck. "Where is his hide out I know you his, so where?" You hear the person's voice boom into your ear as you try to keep your neck away from the knife. You start to feel tears go down your cheeks, "Please don't" You cry out under their hand. "I said wh- You could feel the person hand be pulled away, you look behind you to see a large man attack the man.
You see the man grab the attackers, knife; you look away as the screams start and the sound of blood being spilled echo out through the alleyway. You cry out a scream before you drop everything and run down the alleyway. You looked back to see the man standing there with the knife in hand; before you could look back in front of you, you bumped into something hard. You cry out as you butt hits the floor, scraping the palm of your hands. You look up to see a very large man.
"Oh my little anglerfish are you alright?" You hear the man speak with a familiar voice; you see them come into the light; it was Kugo. You couldn't have been happier at that moment. You hurried to get up and wrap your arms around his waist with your face dug into his stomach, crying your heart out. Kugo takes you in his arms; he specks comforting words into your ear while rubbing your back. "The man wa- You try to speak but your cry choke you up, "It's okay, you're safe. "He says softly in his deep voice trying not to scare you further.
You step back a bit to check your surroundings. You look up to see his face, the sorry look planted softly on his face as he looks down at you. "Let's get you home" he says, looking behind him. As you did the same, you could see a black car parked at the end of the small alleyway. "But what about the man that- "Don't worry, he won't hurt you; he's been dealt with? "Kugo interrupts you. He picks you up and walks to the car. You couldn't help but cuddle into is warm body.
"I can do it myself thank you" You say as he tries to put you in the car, he closes the door after you. You watch his silhouette walk around the car to then open the door and sit next to you. You could feel the car take off back home, but you start to form questions. "How did know where I was?" You say think about the events that just happened, "Benjamin told me that you were in trouble so I came as fast as I could" He quickly explains to you, before you could process it "Wait, who is Benjamin?" You ask with confusion, "The man that protected you against your attacker" He says with a calm tone.
"But how did he know" You say, turning to him, "I set him up as your bodyguard, I mean look what happened today I knew you needed to come home" He says, looking at you with a serious look, "No stop I didn't asked for this, I never wanted that, why would you do that without telling me or even asking me!" You raise your voice. "Well it worked you need it as look what just happened, I think you need to stay home it's not safe for you out here" he says, stroking your cheek. "No you have been blowing up my phone all day and now you want me to be your bird in your cage, No Kugo I can't" You yell back wanting to be heard, You hear him sigh and looks you in the eyes "Yes you are, Your mine you could have been killed today I'm not telling this happen again" He says almost yelling with his deep voice that could kill, You knew that he wouldn't hear you even if you keep telling him. This was the end of the discussion.
Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!
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