#nobody watch this movie . because it is probably not as good as it is to me. but it is my girlfriend

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

16. Movie

Sitting here in your car in front of minjeongs dorm made you wonder about how things could've been if she hadn't broken up with you. Would your relationship be out already? Would you have moved in together? Probably, you were basically living together before you started training for debut. As you kept thinking about what could've been minjeong had approached the car.

"hi" she smiled.

"Hey, you ready to go?" She nods her head and you take off from the dorms. Without asking her too she reached over to the center console and put in the address for the Italian restaurant "so how on earth did you manage to leave early?"

"we were brushing up the choreo and it was a lucky day with no mistakes I guess?" She says while looking out the window. " have you looked at the menu online?"

"I haven't, wanted to be surprised. Do I even have to ask what you want? " you teased.

"not my fault that lasagna is so good!" She pouted before smiling, " they have one of the best ones I've had here. You have to try it!" the fact that food still made her this exited made you smile. She hadn't changed at all and yet so much at the same time.

" I don't think you'll let me leave until I have tried it." you glance at her and see her smiling.

It didn't take long for you to arrive at the restaurant and by the looks of it there weren't many people around. Minjeong seemed to have a plan since she grabbed your hand and took you to an empty booth in a secluded corner.

"So since you know this place, what's good here except the lasagna?" you asked as you scanned the menu.

"Everything," she smiled, "it's all amazing. The girls and I tried different dishes and it was all really good." her eyes were fixed on the menu as she talked about the food.

"aren't you worried people will see us here?" you asked as you quickly scanned the room.

"hmm?" She looked up, " not really. Last time we were the only people here and then they told us people usually order take-out."

"is that why you wanted to come here?" you smirked, "so you can have me all to yourself."

"wha-," minjeong quickly shut up when the waiter arrived with some glasses and water.

"are you ready to order or would you like more time?" he smiled.

You watched minjeong take a long drink from her glass. It was always fun to see her flustered like this, to have her blushing and avoiding eye contact because of you.

"could we get 2 lasagna's please?"

As he wrote down your order you looked at minjeong with a small smile, " and would you like some other drinks?"

"I'd like a strawberry soju please" minjeong asked as she looked at the menu again and then at the waiter.

"I'll have apple soju" you smiled and the waiter scribbled it down as he left the two of you alone again. "so how did you manage to leave early?"

"it was a good day, everything went smoothly and nobody made any mistakes at practise." minjeong ended up talking about the upcoming album as she was playing with the napkin on the table. It seemed like she didn't know she was doing it but you couldn't ignore her fidgeting.

" are you nervous? "

She stops and just looks at you," n-no why? Do I look nervous?"

"You've been toying with that napkin for the past 5 minutes." she looks down at her hands to see the piece of cloth intertwined with her fingers, "So, what's making you nervous?"

"I- the situation I guess? It's been so long since... You know... I just don't want to fuck this up." she sighed as she leaned back in her seat, "I want this to go smoothly so we can get together,i-i mean like not like that but-" she started rambling and you were tempted to let her ramble on but that would've been mean.

"minjeong I understand." you reached over the table and placed your hand over hers, "I'm nervous too. We have a lot of history and right now we're-" you cut yourself off, thinking about what you wanted to say and how to say it, " We're catching up, 2 years is a long time but also a little. We've both changed in small ways and are seeing if this can work."

"do you think we can? Make this work again?" She bit her lip at the thought of losing you again, "I still... My feelings never changed for you."

You saw the waiter approach with your food as you were lost for words. Ofcours you knew she still had feelings but to hear her say it makes it more real. Eventhough you still love her too, everything had changed. To go on a date and patch things up is one thing but actually getting together? It would be harder than ever. Maybe minjeong was right when she broke up with you. The waiter placed down your food and you quietly thanked him.

After finishing up your food and making some more small talk both of you got ready to go for a walk before going to the movie theater. Both of you used to take walks in the park at your old place, sometimes you'd even go out of town together to the woods in weekends. It's crazy how normal all of this felt, outside of the break up coming up and some confessions, it all went the same as it did years ago. The two of you talking about everything and nothing, "Oh my god look!" you pointed in the direction of an empty playground with a smile.

"what?" minjeongs follows your gaze but doesn't see anything out of the ordinary, it was just another playground.

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you got to old to play, there's still that inner child that needs to be nurtured." you turned your back towards the playground to look at minjeong, "what do you say wanna go down the slide with me?" you smiled as you slowly walked backwards.

"it's almost time for the movie." she said as she looked down at her watch, "we could come back after if you want?"

"one time down the slide won't hurt." you took a couple more steps, "What's the rush?"

"one time down the slide now or a full on playtime after the movie?" She said as she clocked an eyebrow at you, "I know what I prefer to do"

"well if you put it that way I can't really refuse now can I?" you pouted, "come on or we'll miss the movie." you walked passed her and grabbed her hand, tugging her along with you as she laughed.

"You're unbelievable do you know that?" She smiled as you looked back at her over your shoulder, eyes scanning her up and down before sticking your tongue out, " you really haven't changed a bit have you?"

You arrived at the movie theater and ended up playing rock, paper, scissors to pay for the snacks. Eventhough the movie was 2 hours, time flew by. In the beginning your hands occasionally brushed against one another's, reaching for another handful of popcorn. Then the bucket was empty and you felt like a teenager again with the way you slipped your hand into hers. Minjeong took initiative more then halfway through the movie and cuddled up to you the best way she could despite the dumb armrest poking in her side.

The movie ended far to soon as you wanted more time to cuddle with her but the end credits were rolling and the lights came on, ruining the moment you wanted to stay in forever. Minjeong was the first to stand up and extended her hand for you to grab. " come on, I have a promise to fulfill L."

"I really hope that we will be the only ones at the playground." you wondered what you would do if there were still kids around or maybe teenagers, they were the worst. At least kids still listen when you put on the adult mask but teenagers? They laugh in your face and will use it against you. Fortunately for you the playground was empty as it came in sight.

"so want to act like a kid again?" minjeong asked as she stepped on one of the structures.

"what if we make it a little race?" you smirk as you looked over the obstacles, "winner gets whatever they want."

"you got yourself a deal." she smiled, "who goes first?"

"coin toss?" She nodded her head at your answer and you took out a coin from your wallet, "alright you choose."

"heads" she says as you toss the coin In the air. For a second it's silent and everything feels like it's going in slow-motion until you catch it again and with a baited breath you flip the coin onto the top of your hand, "yes!"

"Okay I'll start the timer when I yell go and then place it on the rail so you have to stop it." she nods her head again and you part ways to the opposite sides of the obstacle course. "alright ready?"

"yup" you hear minjeong yell and you count down from three.

"Okay! Three," you place the phone down on the railing, "two," you quickly glance at the blonde to see if she wasn't cheating, "One, Go !" you yell as you press start. Minjeong starts running to the first obstacles which were different kinds of wooden jumping poles, she quickly jumps from one pole to another until she's at the next obstacle.

It's a net that she climbs vertically until she's standing on the wooden construction, climbs up a wooden make shift rock climbing wall and races over the bridge towards you. Once she stops the timer she grins at you and shows you the phone, "2 minutes 10 seconds beat that!" She smirks.

"Oh it's on!" you smiled at the shorter woman and walk towards the beginning, " you don't have to bother about thinking what you want because I'll beat your time easily!" you shout but truth be told you weren't that sure. Minjeong was shorter so her balance was better then yours, she was also a faster runner.

"mmm, I already know what I want!" She yells back, "you ready?"

"Yeah!"

"alright! Three, two, one, go!" She yells and you ran towards the jumping poles. You managed to skip over some of them since you were a bit taller which would give you a little advantage. Once over the net you start climbing the wall but managed to slip a little and any time you'd have won was lost. You run over the bridge and stop the timer to see 2 minutes and 12 seconds.

"damn, that was thougher than I thought." you breathed out and sat down on the slide.

"and you said you'd beat it easily."

"I would've if I hadn't slipped at the stupid wall." you sighed as she watched you. "but a deals a deal so what do you want?"

"are there any rules?"

"well nothing illegal and I have to be able to do it ofcours." you thought about it and we're wondering what she was thinking.

"well, I want whatever you wanted from me." she looks down at you as you layed down on the slide.

"I thought you said you already had something?" you cocked an eyebrow at her and she looked away while rolling her eyes. "come here" you scooted over and made some space so she could lay down next to you.

She layed down and both of you stared up at the night sky, you could see a few stars but most of them were invisible. You always preferred the country side over the city for that reason, they were always visible in the county side. You loved watching the stars it was one of the things you used to do together.

"what if I want something that you don't want to do?" minjeong suddenly broke the silence, " I don't want to ruin this." she turns her head towards you at the same time as you do and the air between you feels so Intimate, you just stare at each other without speaking a word as you slowely move closer.

Minjeong brought a hand to your face, softly caressing your skin as her eyes roam your face like she's trying to memorize every little detail. "I hated myself for so long when I broke your heart." her voice barely made it out. "i'm so sorry for everything."

"I know," you reassured her, " I know you didn't mean to hurt me" you kissed the palm of her hand as you got even closer, " why don't you tell me what you want? I won't mind."

She traced her thumb over your bottom lip before leaning in closer, "can I?" She asks right when your lips are about to meet. You nodded and your lips brush at the motion. Her lips were so soft, just like you remembered. She didn't waste another second and claimed your lips. One careful and gentle kiss turned into multiple kisses that were occasionally broken by the both of you giggling, smiling against each other's lips before connecting again.

"minjeong," you laughed as she moved on top of you, "We're in public! And a playground! I do not want to scar a kid or get in a scandal."

"I wasn't trying to do anything, get your head out of the gutter." she smirked as she leaned down again, connecting your lips once again.

You hummed at the feeling but quickly pulled back, we'll as best as you could since you were laying on a slide, "We're making out at the playground, that's like a gold mine for the tabloid."

"fine" she grumbled and climbed off of you, "it is getting late so maybe we should head back home?" She said as she took a peek at her phone.

You made your way back to the car and drove back to her dorm while jamming out together to whatever song came on. With one last kiss, she got out of the car and you bid your goodbyes. You watched her get inside before taking off towards your place. those kisses were replaying in your mind and you wished you could turn the car back around for just want more but you managed to control yourself. Things were going to be fine, it's minjeong after all. The girl who's loved you since you were 16, the girl who saw you cry and comforted you when your childhood pet had died, the girl you once stayed up with to bake cookies together. The girl you've been in love with since 16 and she hadn't changed at all.

masterlist | next

[anthropwashere]

Finally got around to watching Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

and

100% honesty here?

I smiled-to-grinned-helplessly at every second of it! It is SO charming and SO expertly animated! The comparisons to the Spiderverse movies I've seen so far are 100% warranted and I genuinely hope loads of CGI animated movies follow these patterns/designs in the future because they're just SO refreshing to watch in a... maybe "engaging" is the word to use? You feel like you're IN the animation, reacting eagerly TO it, rather than sitting tiredly as you watch a rough draft with a few key splash pages go by.

I dunno. YouTube keeps recommending me people bleh-dunking on Disney's Wish and from what clips of that movie I've seen it looks SO dull in comparison to Puss. Like, I have 0 clue what Wish is about! I've seen maybe 4 5-10 second clips of it at most. There's a goat? The protag's bestie (besties??) are based on the 7 Dwarves? There's like 50 references to older Disney movies because it's supposed to be a celebration of Disney's 100th?

But strictly speaking from a visual perspective/demonstration/execution/exultation of animation prowess? Puss is INCREDIBLE. On a strictly visual/style comparison there is NO comparison. I'm speaking honestly here; I couldn't HELP but grin watching every second of Puss. It's a delight just to watch. I'd say that even if the story bored me and that is NOT the case. The story is SO GOOD. The story makes it an EASY 10 times better than what the brilliant visuals promised. It is SO worth the dollars I dropped on a rental watch of it, and it's definitely a movie I (a person who is NOT interested in movies until years later at BEST) would be keen to watch again.

[puzzledemigod]

Ok I did the whole Barbenheimer thing and let me tell you, Barbie wasn't revolutionary or anything, but it did come up ahead. It did what it was supposed to do and, since I managed my expectations before going in, did it in a fun silly way that still left a bunch of possible deeper readings, even if they were sadly left unexplored (and were maybe unintended). Oppenheimer on the other hand left me very angry and disappointed, even if I went there knowing it was an usamerican warfilm so I wasn't expecting much.

I think Barbie and Oppenheimer were equally superficial and obvious with their intended messages presentations, themes and characters, and equally inconsistent with their story threads. But Barbie was about Barbies, was intentionally silly, and had more going for it than the story itself... and Oppenheimer was about one of the real life creators of the atonic bomb, about the ones responsible for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, and about the subsequent cold war and the mess it left us today in regards to the existence and threat of atomic and H bombs.

I think I can safely say one had the responsibility to be a bit more nuanced and careful than the other, and that just did not happen. And no, i do not think there was any actual anti USA sentiment in Oppenheimer, as someone who lives in a Developing Country (TM)and is used to seeing usamerican propaganda all the time there was barely even a scratch of criticism buried in there; our knowledge of history and our own modern sensibilities and morality did all the heavy lifting in that front without the movie having to risk saying anything. Oh did he feel bad while the bombs were being dropped? Did they villanize a guy who went after him for uhh being better than him at public speaking? Did they say he was against the H bomb and was a pacifist now, actually (without showing it much but who cares, tell not show right)? He was still the hero. Not one Japanese person was shown. Not one civilian protest, not one appearance of the communists they were talking so much about after the scenes in the past, doing anything but talking the whole time. He still ended up with a "I love my country" tirade, there was still a haha nod to fucking Kennedy being the one to be on our hero's side. They still showed more scenes of women naked, drunk, cheating on their husbands and being negligent towards their kids than of them doing literally anything else.

The "nuance" and "anti-usa messages" was just a bunch of misplaced and inconsequential internal conflict that did not feel earned in any way, misogyny and random, boring and inconsistent jury scenes (sorry, "hearing" scenes or whatever they called so there wouldn't have to be consistent rules to follow). And the main character was so damn boring. And they didn't even represent the actual science parts well. And the editing was so weird and the flashing scenes didn't fit and were repetitive. And there was a happy ending for some reason?? It was a whole bunch of nothing with music building momentum that never went anywhere in the background of every scene for 3 hours and I wanted to leave the room for how angry it made me that this subject was treated that way and would probably get praised for it.

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i just made the most Rad edit of all time of lost angels (1989) but i don’t know if i can post it i’m afraid adam horovitz will send me death threats if i do

[marklikely]

barbarian fans have rapidly become the actual most insufferable people in the horror community

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[jazzyoranges]

Introverted

Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: you’re not much of a talker. that said, your lack of words doesn’t get in the way of meeting your (girl)friend’s sister

Words: 1.4k

A/n: mostly told through the pov of Sam cause i was feeling extra freaky and wanted to do something super crazy and unseen before

Warnings: alcohol consumption, that literally might be it

Sam was trusting her gut. Her gut said you were good for Tara but her past experiences said you couldn’t be trusted. Luckily she listened to nobody but Tara when it came to you. After all, Sam did promise she’d let sister live her life without her constantly looming over her

So Sam trusted Tara instead. Of course, the older Carpenter sister was still weary of you when her sister wanted you to come over and hang out with the core four, as Chad liked to call them. The name was never officially adopted but nobody ever stopped the boy from calling them that

She’s heard of your name through stories her little sister has told her. Sam was already aware of how you didn’t like talking. You watched and listened, always aware of everything around you. Not to mention you’re scary as shit - Tara’s words not hers. Countless times have there been when a protective arm around Tara’s shoulder and a glare were enough for anyone to back off. Sam’s thought of getting a dog for its scary privileges but it seems her sister already had scary friend privileges

A knock on their door sends Tara running to open it with Sam not too far behind. You were early. Wanted to make a good first impression, Sam guessed

“Thank you for giving her a chance, Sam. this means a lot to me.” Tara gives her sister a quick hug before opening the door. Sam doesn’t expect you to bring a gift as well

You tower over Tara. Maybe it was because you were tall, maybe it’s because her sister was short as shit. There are two wine bottles of a brand Sam’s never even heard of in your hands and Tara gives you a hug while you reciprocate with one arm

“This is for you. Thank you for letting me into your home. Your hospitality is appreciated.” You give a small bow before handing her the bottle. It catches Sam off guard. She didn’t want to admit it but she was already impressed. Or her expectations bar was set at an all time low. Probably the latter

Tara led you to their living room before coming back to Sam

“That was good! She usually only says hello when she meets new people. I think she might’ve said more words to you than Mindy and Chad combined”

“Really not a talker then, huh?”

“Definitely not. Will you open the door for the other two?”

“Yeah I will. Go spend some time with her”

The twins arrive ten minutes late but in their defense they were getting pizza for the night. Mindy almost immediately whistles at the wine you brought and opens it up

Sam finds you and Tara, well, just Tara laughing about something. Her sister said you weren’t much of a talker - not even talking to the twins very much - yet it seemed you were in deep conversation with Tara. Sam’s sister senses were tingling and they were very rarely wrong

The night continues without much falter. Everyone drinks, board games and video games alike are played, and nothing seems to be different. Other than you of course. You were so quiet sometimes Sam forgot you were there in the first place. You had a way of disappearing but always coming back when Tara talked to you. Sam’s sister senses were really tingling

You’d whisper something in Tara’s ear and she’d smile like she’s holding in the biggest laugh ever. Hell, after a few hours (and probably the wine) Sam saw you giving her sister small smiles and tiny laughs of your own. She couldn’t lie, it was astonishingly cute how her usually chipper sister was so amazed by someone so opposite of her.

Even later into the night, your little conversations with Tara seem to stop. It was around the time the twins stopped forcing you to play games and they settled on a movie to watch. Sam watches her little sister as she tugs on your shirt and whispers something in your ear. You nod and before she knows it, you walk out to their balcony that looked over the busy streets

“Why’s she out there?” Sam asks Tara after you’ve left

“She needs to recharge her social battery. Give her some time, she’ll come back”

//-//

You haven’t come back inside their apartment for about an hour, Sam notices

Tara’s accidentally fallen asleep on the couch while Mindy and Chad seem to be binging the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe with a bowl of popcorn cradled in between them. Sam didn’t remember buying popcorn but then again she also believed the twins were somehow magical when it came to food. Popcorn was probably the least of her worries

So Sam took her chance to talk to you. Walking to the sliding door to their balcony, the older Carpenter makes sure to not make any sudden movements. You’re leaning against the metal railing so Sam decides to join you

“You feeling okay? You haven’t come in for a while.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

Silence passes. Sam hopes it isn’t awkward for you

“(Y/n), I’ve got a question.” Sam doesn’t get a verbal answer but she does get your attention and a nod to keep going

“How’d you meet Tara?”

“Someone was looking at her weird at a party. I scared him off. He was known for not being a good person.”

“You’re observant, huh? That’s a good trait to have.”

“Thank you. I didn’t want her to make a mistake.”

“Thanks for scaring him off.”

“Anyone would’ve done it.”

A few beats of silence pass before Sam talks again. She didn’t expect you to start the conversation, which was alright with her. It gave her more control

“Can I ask you another question?” Another nod from you.

“Tara said you didn’t like talking much. Be honest, am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No. You want to know more about me because you care about your sister.” You pause. “I’m also a little drunk.”

The older Carpenter lets herself laugh. Big sister like little sister, she guesses.

“I like your honesty.”

“There’s no point in wasting breath on a lie.”

“Well, I hope we’ll have more conversations in the future.” Sam gets up from where she’s leaning on the balcony, moving to the door

“Why’re you leaving? I assumed you wanted to ask me more things.”

“You’d be okay with that?”

“The conversations in our future will only be answered by me nodding my head or not. I’m still drinking, you may as well ask now.” Swirling around your wine, you take a long sip. For courage, you know?

“You’ve caught me off guard here. That was all I planned.”

“We can just talk.”

“About?”

“Anything. Maybe Tara. We have her in common.” Your eyes glance back to the younger Carpenter fast asleep on the couch while Chad and Mindy were laughing about god knows what. Sam follows your gaze

Looking at you as you stare at Tara, Sam recognizes that look. She’s seen it before but a little different. It’s how Sam looks at Tara. It was always adoration and protection with the older Carpenter, but for you there was something different. Somewhere in your blank eyes and your monotone voice, you loved Tara. Sam could see it almost clear as day.

“You’re right. We do have her in common, don’t we?”

//-//

“C’mon, it’s not responsible to drink and drive. And I thought you were the one always telling me to be safe”

“I’m not too drunk. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Hey, you’re welcome to stay” Sam buts into you and Tara’s conversation. “You can sleep with Tara or I could set up the couch for you?”

“I see. Only if you’re positive I can stay.” You look away before meeting Sam’s eyes. “I’d like to sleep in Tara’s room for tonight. We’ll… keep the door open.”

“No need.” Sam winks before going back to her own room for the night. Fuck that felt weird. She should go to sleep before she tried to be the cool sister again

//-//

“I hope I made a good first impression.”

“Are you kidding? That was great! You did great”

“Thank you. I want Sam to like me.”

“Where was this attitude with Mindy and Chad?”

“They’re knuckleheads. Your sister isn’t.”

Sam’s never been happier the walls of their apartment were like paper. Not much of a talker her ass.

[chaoticace2005]

Why Vox needs to GET THE FUCK OVER THE RADIO DEMON:

(By Velvette, the only competent of the Vees)

(Her list for Valentino here)

1. He’s just not into you

2. We have better things to do than allocate company time to this.

3. He makes you look stupid

4a. He makes US look stupid (and Valentino already does that enough)

4b. Seriously how are we supposed to stop your boy toy from chasing whore around town when you can’t do the same with your ex? We need to set a (gag) good example for him.

5. What do you even see in him? Tacky coat. And that voice is so old-school.

6. You have two people who (reluctantly) want to work with you. Why spend energy on a guy who doesn’t?

7. This was seven years ago babe. Give it up.

8. I’m tired of finding your Alastor Body Pillow around the penthouse

9. Speaking of the body pillow, did you really have to spend 5k on it?

10. Company money should be used for COMPANY things. The fact we even have an “Alastor” budget is stupid. HE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE. ( @onesidedradiostatic )

11. He fucked off once, he probably will again.

12. Do you really want to fuck with someone who has the princess and king of Hell on his side?

13. It makes Valentino insecure about his sexual prowess, which is not good for anyone.

14. I have to LISTEN to him complain about it.

15. No matter how hard you try, nobody will ever beat “Susan” for #1 rival in that man’s heart. (Which is valid cause Susan SUCKS.)

16. Also you’re wasting company time by having Val put together shitty-Alastor look alike porns? Angel Dust does NOT look like Radio Demon ffs, I though Val was the blind one not you.

17. Your screens keep crapping out whenever you think about him, and we’re running out of ones in storage.

18a. I don’t want to keep having to go to overlord meetings for you because you’re having a breakdown over of he’ll be there or not.

18b. Speaking of breakdowns, STOP MAKING THE WHOLE CITY LOSE POWER.

19. You’ve taken over the entire office space with your Alastor-shrine. It’s not really an inconvenience, just creepy.

20a. Not to kinkshame but I walked in on you and Val fucking with Alastor-wigs on, REALLY?!

20b. Also I think you’re making Val insecure about his lack of hair.

21. STOP asking me to design Alastor-cosplay clothes for you. I don’t want anything to do with this.

22. I already have to deal with one pissbaby

23. Seriously, he isn’t into you. Maybe it’s cause you’re a mess. Maybe it’s cause he’s AROACE. Who knows.

24. You keep interrupting channels to brainwash people into hating the Radio Demon, when we should be brainwashing them into other things.

25. We can all hear you talking to yourself in the shower when trying to come up with shitty comebacks.

26. You display your dreams when you sleep, and while it was funny at first at this point it’s so boring. Val and I want to watch something actually interesting for once rather than the same shit.

27. You keep glitching out in bisexual whenever he comes up and it’s annoying waiting for you to put your shit back together again.

28. I’m sick of movie nights where we just watch your self-made compilations of “Alastor’s Epic Fails” or just watch security footage of him at the hotel.

29. Why do you even try and film him? Your shitty cameras can pick hardly anything up.

30. Honestly this whole thing is just pathetic.

31. Like it used to be cute but now?

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 (part one) | neil lewis x reader

title comes from the song you already know by bombay bicycle club

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you've been best friends with neil basically your entire life, and secretly in love with him almost as long. will you ever find the courage to tell him the truth?

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 10k

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | smut, angst, pining/unrequited love - 18+ only

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | alcohol consumption, 'kid' as a petname, reader being kind of a femcel, jonathan being kind of mvp??

Neil had asked you to make sure the Thriller section was alphabetized; sometimes you thought he was just giving you tasks to look busy, but then again, you could probably use it since the employees of Gumshoe Video never looked very busy.  You spent most of the day on the couches, watching whatever old bizarre gem Neil put on— sometimes you thought he only had employees other than himself so that he could pay people to sit here and watch this stuff with him.  

But, the point is, you were sorting tapes.  Because everyone needs their VHS thriller movies to be in perfect alphabetical order.

There actually was a customer in the store, for once, so it was better not to be on the couch anyhow.  You hadn’t really noticed him when he came in, but as he wandered around the shelves, he seemed to drift towards you.  

You tried to ignore him when he stopped right beside you— and kneeling to look at the lowest shelf, he towered over you— but when you stood up he got your attention.  

"Need any help, sweetheart?" he asked, leaning in a little too close.  "I'm kind of a movie buff."

He had a frat guy kind of look about him— polo, boat shoes, quaffed blonde hair.  He could be good-looking, you thought, if he didn’t dress like a discount Abercrombie model… and if he didn’t hit on random women at the video store.  "I actually work here," you corrected, barely looking up from your task.  This is why we need uniforms instead of just dressing up to promote specials…

"Oh, really?" he smirked.  "What made you wanna work in a place like this?"

"My best friend owns the place," you explained, "and I'm, you know… kind of a movie buff."

"Right," he said, not seeming convinced.  "You like Kubrick?"

You rolled your eyes so hard you almost choked: Wow, what a deep cut.  But you kept a straight-ish face when you looked at him.  "Yeah, he's pretty good.  Don't care for how he treats his actors, but he was certainly a visionary."

"What are your top five favorite Kubrick movies?"

You knew this guy was a tool, but you were still a bit shocked that he actually had the gall to quiz you.  "Excuse me?" you scoffed incredulously.

"Can you even name five?" he asked, looking horribly proud of himself, and you straightened up as you glared at him.

"You're heterosexual, right?" you asked him, getting a confused nod.  "Can you name five women you've made come?"

Neil watched the guy storm out, Lucien cringed a bit from behind the register— and Jonathan, not seeming as if he had been paying attention at all, kept laying across the couch and tossing a ball up in the air to catch and throw again.

“Okay, that’s gotta be the third this week,” Lucien groaned.  “What are you saying to these guys?”

“Nothing worse than what they’re saying to me,” you assured with a frustrated, sarcastic smile.

“Listen, don’t get me wrong,” Neil began, “that guy totally deserved it— but maybe, you know… work on your demeanor with customers?”

“Wow,” you scoffed as you crossed your arms, “do you think I should smile more, too?”

“Wha— no!” Neil denied.  

“Yes,” Lucien said at the same time, though he changed his answer with an awkward cough and mumble when you both shot him a look.  “No, no— you’re good— you smile too much, even…”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Neil promised.  “But I think half the guys that come here are just coming here to see you!  Nobody even rents movies anymore.”  He groaned a little, dropping his shoulders defeatedly.  “Can’t you… tell them you’ll go out with them if they rent something?”

“What?!” you squeaked. “No!”

“Sales would double,” Lucien nodded.

“No,” you said again.  “I’m not letting you pimp me out to sell tapes, Neil.”

“I just mean— maybe you don’t really go out with them,” he suggested.  “Just… allude to the fact that you’re only interested in guys who…”

He trailed off as he searched around the shelves for a bit, smiling when he snagged a copy of The Maltese Falcon.

“— in guys who like The Maltese Falcon,” he grinned, “you know— for example.  Then they rent it to impress you and we make a few bucks.”

“I am only interested in guys who like The Maltese Falcon,” you frowned, snatching the tape away and shoving it back on the shelf.  “But that’s not the point.”

“Maybe you have to be more straightforward, you know,” Jonathan butted in as he sat up, “guys are dumb.”

“Yeah!” Neil agreed a little too easily.

“Just say something about how a massive VHS collection turns you on,” Lucien suggested, and you glared at him.

“Jesus!” you protested, but Neil tried to soothe you a bit.

"C'mon, kid, can't you just… flirt a little?  Get our sales up?"

He'd started calling you kid since you two watched Casablanca together— which was especially stupid as you were both twelve at the time.  At first you complained because he shouldn't be calling you kid with you both being kids; then you complained because neither of you were kids; and then you gave up.  You still punched Lucien for trying to call you that once… you only barely let Neil get away with it anyways.

But you let Neil get away with a lot.  It was a side effect of being secretly, but massively, in love with him.

It had been an issue since middle school— that was when the two of you became such good friends.  Technically, you’d known each other since first grade (where you had shared your crayons, a true test of friendship at the time), and you’d sort of had a crush on him as early as elementary school (mainly because he was the only boy you could stand at the time), but it all kicked into high gear in seventh grade.  That was when you became inseparable, when you got in trouble together, when you stayed up all night watching movies, when you went through all of life’s ups and downs together: you even went to prom together, platonically of course.  

As for your feelings, you’d managed to hide them this long and still be his best friend, even when it sometimes felt like letting him stomp all over your heart without even trying.  Honestly, the only thing harder than being in love with Neil was trying not to be in love with Neil: you adored his sense of humor, his generosity, his sensitivity— and he’d been there for you through the things you couldn’t have imagined surviving alone.  That kinda stuff bonds you to somebody… and when that somebody has the most gorgeous eyes you’ve ever seen, it’s hard not to fall in love.

“Maybe I would flirt if I knew how,” you offered.  “But I’m not exactly, you know, flirty.”

“How hard could it be?” Jonathan interjected.  “Just, you know—”

You stared in quiet disbelief as Jonathan attempted to push his chest together with his arms.  It wasn’t quite working, of course, and the rest of you watched on as he fumbled around trying to force some cleavage.  “You look like an idiot,” you finally informed him after letting him do it for a minute.

“But is he wrong?” Lucien wondered.

“So, what, you guys really think that if I just went up to customers and—” you pushed your breasts together with your arms, accentuating them significantly in your tank top.

“That would work,” all three men asserted in unison before you could even finish.

“I fucking hate you guys,” you grumbled under your breath as you walked to the back, deciding to take your break in Neil’s office until these guys got their act together.

You never stayed gone for long, though— as idiotic as they could be, your friends were certainly charming.  They won you back with a promise to let you pick what tape to put on, and the four of you ended up laying on the couches watching Roman Holiday.  

When the movie was almost over, you rested your head on Neil’s shoulder; you guys did stuff like that, it was normal for you, but it always made your heart skip anyways.

~

This time, you were all hanging out at Jonathan’s primary workplace: the club.  In fact, it was a much larger crowd than just you and the guys— plenty of your local friends and loyal supporters of Gumshoe Video, all sitting around a big table while someone’s mediocre cover band took the stage.

"So, uh, me and Denise broke up," Neil said suddenly, going back in for another swig of beer right after.

The others offered their mild shock and half-hearted condolences, but you knew it was going to happen— he'd told you before he did it.  You tried to tell him that paying off a waiter to spill water on her was a weird way to prove what he already knew, but you couldn't disagree with his conclusion.  She was definitely difficult, and shockingly judgemental for someone who managed to date a video store owner for this long.

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine,” he promised, “I don’t think anybody’s too surprised, right?”

There was an awkward hesitation among the group as they wondered if they should lie, or just fess up now that he was obviously accurate.  You broke the silence to suggest someone go get another round of drinks for the table, and even though that was pretty much a one-man job, nearly everyone agreed and quickly shuffled off— leaving just you, Neil, and Lucien.

“I guess tonight’s your chance to meet somebody new, don’t you think?” Lucien suggested.  “Get over Denise, you know.”

“I think I’m already over Denise,” Neil decided.

“And if I told you that girl back there,” Lucien returned, pointing with the hand still holding his drink, “has been looking over here at you for the past ten minutes?”

You glanced where Lucien was pointing as well, seeing a girl in a denim mini skirt and massive hoop earrings settle her eyes on Neil before looking away quickly with a lip-gloss lacquered smile.

“I think I need some help getting over Denise,” Neil agreed suddenly, patting Lucien on the back before he left the table.  

You wanted to pout, but you were used to this— he was good-looking, he got a lot of attention from women in places like this… it usually didn’t work out for him, though.  Certainly not never, probably more often than most guys, but… definitely not every time.

You tried not to look over too much, you didn’t want to get caught spying or, even worse, looking a little jealous— but you noticed that every time you looked over at them, Neil was talking.  That was his problem, see: he never fucking shuts up.  Guys, girls, anybody who will listen— if you admit to not knowing about his favorite fifty-year-old spaghetti western or the most recent pre-Code horror comedy he watched, he’ll gladly blab to you about it for ages.  The first time you glanced at them, you saw her giving him doe eyes, laughing at something he said— and the last time, those eyes had glazed over and her laugh seemed more nervous and confused; you smirked to yourself.  He’s still Neil…

“So, um,” you struck up a conversation with Lucien, “what about you?  Anybody here catching your eye?”

“That’s actually the perfect descriptor of my type,” he replied.  “Anybody.”

You snorted.  “Then you should go, you know, talk to anybody?”

He shrugged and frowned a bit, and it was a simple movement but you understood completely.

The band started to play a new song, something upbeat and energetic, and you smiled.  “Wanna dance with me?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’m drunk enough for that—” Lucien began to protest, but a minute later you were dragging him up by the stage.  Neither of you were actually any good at dancing, mainly you were just kind of jumping and flailing around together, but it was fun and that was the point.

Eventually, more of your friends wandered in to join you; when the song ended, everyone clapped and cheered, the band bowing in gratitude.  You only stole one more look over at Neil and his conversation partner, watching her interrupt his rant with a hand on his shoulder: your throat felt a little dry.  You just hoped what she was saying was more like hey, my friends are leaving, I’ve gotta go and not hey, wanna come over to my place so you can keep explaining German expressionism to me?

Your heart dropped when he reached for her— what if he kissed her now?  What if he wrapped her up under his arm and they walked out together?  What if you had to spend the whole night thinking about him having sex with her?

“Hey, we should ask them if they know any Strokes songs!” Lucien suggested, tugging on your arm to get your attention, but your mind was elsewhere.

“Uh huh, yeah,” you mumbled blankly, and he frowned at you.

“What’s going on?” he asked, trying to look for what you were seeing; but Neil wasn’t reaching for her, he was lifting his hand to wave goodbye as she left.  You beamed, even though you did feel a little bad when you saw Neil’s shoulders sink— it’s not that you wanted him to be alone forever, you were just relieved that you might have a few more moments to breathe before he got with somebody again.

“Nothing, sorry,” you answered Lucien, giving him your attention again.  “What’d you say?”

“We should ask the band if they—”

And immediately, Lucien lost your focus as you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at Neil again— he was already looking at you, seeing you all on the dancefloor.  You waved for him to join you, and he smiled as he made his way towards the stage.  A new song began, even louder than the last, and you could blame that for not hearing Lucien’s question for the second time in a row.

Although he danced with you all for a few moments, Neil draped his arms over your and Lucien’s shoulders, nearly yelling to be heard over the music.

“You guys are coming over tonight for a movie, right?” he presumed.  “Jonathan’s working ‘til late so he’s out, but—”

“Sorry, I’ve gotta be up early,” Lucien explained, “my brother and his wife are visiting, remember?  We’re getting brunch and—”

“Whatever, party pooper,” Neil frowned, before suddenly smiling at you.  “Guess it’s just me and you, huh, kid?”

You tried not to sigh too noticeably through your smile.  “Yeah, me and you…” you agreed.

~

As you groggily blinked your eyes open, you found Neil staring at you, his face uncomfortably close to yours, with a big smile.  “Mornin’, kid,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

You yelped and nearly jumped out of your skin while he laughed.  “Jesus Christ, Neil!” you shouted, kicking off the blanket on you— and then you began to process where you were and why.  “God,” you groaned as you held your head in your hands, while Neil kept laughing at you, “did I fall asleep on the couch again?”

It was sort of a rhetorical question— obviously you had, it would be much stranger if you woke up on the video store couch without having fallen asleep there.  “Yeah,” he said, standing up and sighing a bit, “but you didn’t miss that much of the movie.”

“What happened at the end?” you asked, stretching your legs and snatching the blanket off the floor to fold up; Neil must have put it on you after you dozed off.

“No, we can finish it later,” he decided, walking up to the register, and you groaned.

“Seriously?  Not even falling asleep gets me out of finishing The Man Who Laughs?”

He smiled a little as he started prepping the store for open.  “Nope,” he said proudly, popping his lips on the p sound.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it,” you assured, getting up and trying to ignore the soreness in your back from sleeping on a ratty old sofa all night— you remembered helping Neil carry this thing from where he found it on the side of the road.  Considering you knew where it came from, it was a wonder you ever sat on it, let alone slept on it… but this happened relatively often.  Sometimes it almost felt like you slept easier here or at Neil’s apartment than your own. 

You stood up and stretched your arms, sparing a glance over at him.

“Can I run home and change?” you asked, and he frowned.  

“We open in ten minutes,” he noticed, “you won’t be back in time.”

“Yes, and who will serve the clamoring crowds that await our open outside?” you rolled your eyes, gesturing out the storefront to the abandoned sidewalk.  “You can handle it on your own.”

“Just go to my place,” he shrugged, “it’s closer.  And I think you left some jeans there anyway.”

Right— you’d borrowed a pair of his sweats to get comfy for a movie night, and forgot to take the jeans back when you left.  You yourself had one of Neil’s short-sleeve button-ups at your place, when you’d both changed there for a costume party, but you let him believe it was just lost… it was too late to tell him now that you had it, ‘cause then he might ask why you kept it so long and then he might, somehow, deduce that you had been cuddling it at night from time to time…

“Right, okay,” you nodded, “but I still need a shirt.”

“Just borrow one of mine,” he said, like it was no big deal at all and didn’t make your heart skip.

For a second you wondered if you should protest— if he was still dating Denise, you probably would’ve said something.  But you decided not to say anything, in case he changed his mind; you nearly bolted out of the store and down the two blocks to his apartment.

Your jeans were on the dresser, draped haphazardly in their same just-peeled-off shape you must have left them in last week.  You grumbled to yourself a little about how he could’ve folded them for you so they wouldn’t be wrinkled… but then again, all his jeans were wrinkled, so he clearly didn’t know any better.

And now the fun part: picking a shirt.  You smiled to yourself as you opened the drawer, perusing through t-shirts with old movie posters and semi-witty slogans… cute, sure, but those were pretty similar to what you already wore.  

But the button-downs?  Those were quintessential Neil, and you'd be wasting an opportunity if you didn't put one of those on.

You felt a little giddy as you opened the next drawer down and found them all folded.  The first one you saw had light blue and white stripes, so you snatched it up and slipped it on.

The fit was definitely off, but you let yourself indulge in a fantasy for a moment: waking up here, in Neil's bed… in Neil's arms.  You'd slip on his shirt while you went to find some breakfast, and he'd hum something about how pretty you look in his clothes, and you'd end up tangled in the sheets again not too much later.  

Sighing to yourself, you buttoned the last button, leaving the two at the top undone so you didn't look too formal, and headed back to the store for opening.

Neil stared at you for a second when you walked in— at the shirt, specifically.  You waited for him to say something, but he didn't.  "What, should I not wear this one?" you asked, looking down at it as well, and he shook his head.

"No, no, it's fine— sorry," he mumbled, "just start sorting out last night's returns, please."

You definitely got a much stronger reaction from Jonathan, as soon as he walked in the door.

(Why was he here when he wasn't even working today?  Who knows— he was just always here somehow.)

“Hey!  You look even more like a lesbian than usual,” Jonathan greeted with a peppy fake-smile as he approached you, and you smirked a bit.

“Don’t blame me, it’s his shirt,” you nodded towards Neil.

“See, I told you you dress like a— wait,” Jonathan stopped mid-insult, looking back at you, then at Neil again, then at you; he pointed his fingers at each of you, crossing them back and forth.  “Did… you two…?”

You narrowed your eyes, waiting for him to explain what he meant.

“Did you guys hook up?!” Jonathan accused, wide-eyed.

You felt your face getting warm, and you stammered out your denial; Neil started waving his hands in disagreement as well, but Jonathan was already on a roll.

“Oh my god!” he yelped.  “The one time I miss movie night here and it gets freaky!  Should’ve known better than to leave you two lovebirds alone—”

“Jonathan, we didn’t—” you choked.

“It’s not— it wasn’t—” Neil butted in.  “She just borrowed my shirt!  ‘Cause she— because—”

“I mean, we’ve kinda all been waiting for this to happen— but I never really thought it would,” Jonathan steamrolled along.  “Well, yeah, I guess I thought it would, I just—”

“Wait wait wait, what?” Neil shook his head, stepping up closer to the two of you.  “What does that mean?”

Finally, he seemed to get Jonathan’s attention, who began to nervously backtrack as both of you stared at him.  “W-well, I just mean—” he started.

“And who’s ‘we all’?” Neil noticed.  “This isn’t just you, thinking this?”

“I… I mean,” Jonathan scoffed, “you know— just, just some people… we thought that maybe… that since you two are so close, that you might—”

“Wow,” Neil chuckled, crossing his arms in disappointment.  “You know, that’s so reductive.  For a bunch of progressive, free-thinking hipsters—” he waved his hands as he said it in a mocking way— “you’re really just, like… like… you know, not!  ‘Cause apparently men and women can’t really be friends?”

“No, come on, not like that,” Jonathan denied, “of course we can—”

“I mean, you’re her friend, you’re both single,” Neil noticed, gesturing between the two of you, “why don’t you two, just, you know… hook up!”

You cringed a little as Jonathan tugged at his collar nervously.  “Well, I—”

“Come on, why not?” Neil went on, smiling at the suggestion even though he was clearly unamused.  “I mean, she’s nice, she’s pretty, she’s got a vagina— why don’t you hit on her?”

“Hey, come on, Neil,” Jonathan sighed, “I’m well aware she’s got a vagina—”

“So what’s the problem?” Neil insisted.  “Clearly you can’t just be friends with someone with a vagina—”

“I would really prefer if we didn’t talk about my vagina anymore,” you mumbled nervously.

“— how come you never hit on her, Jonny?” Neil pressed, backing him into a corner metaphorically— but also somewhat literally, he was leaning in and Jonathan was pressing his back more and more against the shelves.

“You really want me to answer that?” Jonathan replied, almost threatening.  That made you furrow your brow a bit.  It seemed like a rhetorical question, Neil trying to prove a point, but you didn’t expect Jonathan to have a literal answer.

“Yeah, sure,” Neil decided, “enlighten us.”

Neil glanced at you, like you were just as gung-ho about this interrogation, but you were feeling a little sick.  You understood the spirit of Neil’s argument— and technically, you agreed with him— but it still stung to see him so incensed at the suggestion of you two together.  You were trying not to take it personally, it wasn’t like he was disgusted by you or anything… he even said just now that you were pretty, and he’d told you that before, but… it still bothered you a little, for reasons you couldn’t quite describe and that you were sure were illogical.

“I never hit on her,” Jonathan answered, lowering his voice, “because I… I figured it would piss you off.”

That seemed to surprise you both, maybe for different reasons; you bit your lip to suppress a smile.  Did Jonathan really think Neil was that protective over you?  “Why would it piss me off?” Neil wondered, but he sounded a little defensive— defensive in a caught-red-handed sort of way.

“I… I don’t know,” Jonathan shrugged.  “That’s just the vibe I got, okay?  That she’s sorta… off-limits.”

Neil hesitated.  “Well… she’s not,” he decided.  “You’re grown-ups.  Whatever you wanna do is none of my business— as long as you’re not being, you know, creepy or an asshole.”

“Of course,” Jonathan agreed, most of the tension settling as Neil backed up a step.

“Okay, well, ask her out then,” Neil instructed firmly.

“I didn’t say I wanted to!” Jonathan sputtered.

“Neil, Jesus!” you complained simultaneously, and he seemed to relent, shrugging as he walked back to the register.

“Sorry, sorry,” he dismissed, “just letting you know it’s… fine with me!”

You rolled your eyes a bit and looked back at Jonathan.  “Sorry,” you offered him quietly, “he’s… I don’t know.  He gets weird about that.”

“Oh really?” Jonathan scoffed sarcastically.  “Didn’t notice.”

“The real reason you shouldn’t be hitting on me is because we’re coworkers, by the way,” you reminded him.

“Hey, I only work here part-time,” Jonathan noticed, “so I think that means it’s cool as long as we only go out part-time.”

You snorted, but he seemed to get nervous.

“You know I’m kidding, right?” he added quickly, and you nodded with a laugh.

~

"You know, I was thinking— we don't have many events at the store these days,” Neil mumbled around a bite of pretzel, watching you play your turn at Skee Ball.  Normally he would put coins in the machine beside yours and try to beat your score, but the other machine was out of order and you decided to take a relay race approach.  “What if we did, like, I don’t know… maybe a double feature for a couple bucks?”

“Neil, we show movies every night,” you sighed, “and we invite everybody, and ninety-nine percent of the time it’s just some combination of me, you, Jonathan, and Lucien.”

“Yeah, but this time we could do movies that more people like— a little easier to watch,” he suggested, “something that would get new people in the store.”

“New people don’t wanna sit on a musty old couch with strangers,” you reminded him, and he nodded as he chewed and swallowed his next bite.

“You’re right,” he agreed, holding the pretzel out towards you.  “Wanna bite?”

You were trying to get through your skee balls pretty quick, so you just leaned your head over and chomped down on the end of one of the twists while he held it for you.  You hummed in appreciation— it was pretty good, fresher than the last one you guys got here.

Visits to the arcade used to be your thing, back in high school (aside from watching movies, but that was a given).  Then you slowed down with the trips, feeling a little old and out of place surrounded by kids— but the problem was, this place wasn’t filled with kids anymore.  It hadn’t changed much at all since you were both in high school, and that was exactly the issue: it was old, run-down, a bit grimey… kids weren’t coming to arcades anymore anyways, they were all on the Internet apparently.  So, while you and Neil sort of appreciated having the place to yourself, it also broke your heart knowing your old haunt couldn’t hold itself together forever… you two visited not just to recapture some old childhood joys, but to try to do your part to keep the business afloat.  

You pretended to like being here— because you really did want to support the place, and Neil wanted to keep coming back— but it actually made you pretty fucking sad.  Surrounded by all the neon, the noisy pinball machines, the Dig Dug machine that had a fifty-fifty chance of stealing your quarters, the photobooth (you still had some strips from that thing pinned to your wall, some so old that they’d faded from the sunlight that came in your window each day); it all felt sort of eerie now.  You would’ve never known all those years ago how little this place would change, even though you never expected it to— you would’ve never known how little anything would change.  Neil was still by your side, but still so far away… if you could talk to that fourteen-year-old girl now, you would warn her that no amount of time spent running around this place and playing Street Fighter was going to make Neil love her, or you.

But here you were anyways.  “Woo!” you cheered when your final score came through: 50,765.  “Beat that!”

Neil set the pretzel down on the bar-height table (on a pile of napkins, don’t worry, neither of you trusted those tables that much) and brushed the salt off his hands with a scoff.  “Oh please, I can beat that with my eyes closed,” he assured as you crossed your arms.

As he put his quarters in and stepped up to the game, you smiled wide.  “Alright, if you say so.”

You came up behind him and covered his eyes with your hands, making him jump and then laugh.  “What are you doing?”

“Just keeping you honest,” you giggled, holding on tight even when he tried to move his head around so that he could see.  

He did his best, usually struggling to even find where the balls were coming down more than rolling them decently— but after the first three went in the gutter without even scoring, you knew he didn’t stand a chance.  He did score a few times, but when the buzzer went off and he lifted your hands from his eyes, he laughed at the pitiful 1,150 on the board.

“Ohh, that’s too bad,” you winced, “guess you’re just full of it.”

Still holding your hands away from his face, he spun around and twirled under your arms like you were dancing for a moment; it ended with him face-to-face with you, swinging your hands back and forth a bit to force you to twist with him slightly.  “Wanna play Street Fighter next?” he suggested quickly.  “I know I can beat you at that.”

The giddy joy of the moment dropped and shattered; if you thought about it too much, you probably could’ve cried right then.  As pathetic, yet oddly aesthetically pleasing, as it would be to cry in an arcade, you swallowed down the emotion and smiled back at him.  “Yeah, okay,” you agreed.

~

You’d been a little antsy all day— Neil seemed to notice, asking a couple times if you were okay, but you just nodded and shrugged it off.  He had a sense for when you were lying; but that’s the thing, you weren’t lying, really.  You just weren’t sure what to say.  You weren’t sure if you should say anything.  And yet, you felt a little guilty not telling him everything that was going on with you— not just guilty, but plain weird.  Because you usually did tell him everything— except, you know, the thing— but you didn’t know if you should talk about this.  Not that you couldn’t— but should you?

So you were sort of gnawing on your lip most of the day, keeping yourself busy with tallying late fees behind the desk, trying to keep conversation light and meaningless: thankfully, in that regard, Jonathan and Lucien made it pretty easy.

“Okay: fuck, marry, kill,” Jonathan began, “Dracula, the Mummy, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

“Dude, I can’t answer that,” Lucien refused.

“Okay, then Neil, what would you do?” Jonathan changed his target.

“Um, well,” Neil pondered, “I think I’d have to kill Dracula— spare the world from that evil, you know— and I guess I’d marry the Mummy—”

“Freud would like to have a word,” Lucien butted in.

“And I’d fuck the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” he concluded, “out of morbid curiosity.”

You snorted, but didn’t look up from your clipboard.  “You come up with one that Lucien will do,” Jonathan challenged Neil.

“Alright, uhh, let’s see…” Neil stalled as he thought, looking up at the ceiling and stroking his chin dramatically.  “Fuck, marry, kill: Sarah Carter, Ripley, and Trinity from Matrix.”

“Okay, see, that’s a real challenge,” Lucien affirmed.  “If I marry Trinity, do I have to live in the post-apocalyptic wasteland or can she live here?”

“You’d have to live in the Matrix,” Jonathan announced, like it was obvious.

“Hm,” Lucien pondered, “do I know it’s a false reality?  Does she know?”

“She knows, you don’t,” Neil decided.

“Is she gonna tell me?  What if she has another guy on the side in the real world?”

“Okay, you’re overthinking this,” Jonathan groaned.

“And is this the Sarah Carter that’s already had John?  ‘Cause if not, I can’t kill her, or the human revolution stands no chance— but if she has him, I can’t marry her, ‘cause I’m not ready to be a stepfather—”

“You’re useless,” Jonathan informed him flatly.

“Well, it’s easy then,” you offered, still tallying fees on the printed table.  “You fuck Carter, marry Ripley and kill Trinity.”

“Yeah, I guess that works,” Lucien shrugged.

“If you’re so good at this game, you should play,” Jonathan decided.  You looked up from your work for once, finding Lucien looking excited at the idea and Neil looking a little nervous but intrigued.

“I’ve got one for you,” Lucien decided, looking concerningly smug.  “Fuck, marry, kill: the three of us.”

Jonathan let out a giddy ‘ooh’ and Neil raised his eyebrows.  “Oh— I don’t know— that’s too weird,” you shook your head, “it’s different, you’re real—”

“Wait, wait,” Neil interrupted, “now I wanna know.”

You froze for a second, wondering if you should double down on not participating, or if you should tell him the first thing that popped in your head: am I allowed to do all three to you?

Instead, you set the clipboard down and crossed your legs, and the men seemed to straighten up as they prepared for your answer.  “Alright,” you said, looking at them for a lingering moment before sighing.  “I think I’d fuck Jonathan, and then kill myself.”

“Yes,” Jonathan hissed, shaking his fist triumphantly.

“Dude, really?” Lucien snapped at him.  “That didn’t sound like a compliment to me.”

“Don’t care, I stopped listening after ‘fuck Jonathan’,” he replied.  “Alright, Neil, you’re gonna have to make good on that ‘she’s not off-limits’ promise you made to me—”

But Neil wasn’t listening to Jonathan, he was still looking at you.  “Wait— you wouldn’t marry me?” Neil interrupted, putting a hand on the desk and leaning in a bit closer— he looked half-amused and half-offended, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Um…” you started to wonder how to defend yourself from that.  What did he expect you to say?  Yes, I’d marry you, I’ve actually been planning our wedding since junior year.

“Hold on,” Lucien stopped you, “if she fucks you and marries you, that means I’m getting killed!”

“Yeah, so?” Jonathan smirked.

“What, you don’t think I’m marriage material?” Neil laughed… but he didn’t seem like he was really joking, per se.  He didn’t seem serious either, of course, but you decided to take his question seriously since he’d dared to ask it twice.

“Well,” you mumbled, “no.  I don’t.”

Then he seemed a bit more serious, adjusting his posture a bit.  “Why not?”

“I mean… you’re my best friend,” you reminded him, “but… you’re not reliable.”

He nodded, pursing his lips together.

“You’re not ready for marriage,” you continued.  “I mean, I think you’re just as sure of that as I am.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“And honestly?  You’re a great friend and all, but… if you were my husband, I don’t think I could really… you know, trust you…”

The silence seemed a little heavy— all the men were sort of frozen for a second, you wondered if you should wave your arm around to make sure time hadn’t stopped.  But they did move, Neil first in fact, as he stopped leaning on the counter and nodded a little.

“I’m just surprised that you didn’t fuck Dracula,” Jonathan said to Neil in an attempt to cut the tension, “considering your massive man-crush on Bela Lugosi.”

“Hey, that reminds me, tonight’s movie is Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla,” Neil announced, apparently shaking off whatever odd energy he’d picked up just before, “you in?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jonathan nodded, “should I bring drinks?”

“Uhh, yeah, why not?” Neil agreed. 

“Is a six-pack enough?”

"Uh, maybe…” Neil considered, turning over his shoulder to look at you.  “Kid, how many beers are you gonna want?”

You swallowed nervously.  “Um, I… well, I’m not coming.  I’ve got a date, actually.”

Of course it was just assumed that you would be there; you felt a little guilty admitting you wouldn’t, to the point that you almost considered just skipping said date and staying to avoid the awkwardness.

“Hey, great!” Jonathan said proudly, throwing his arms out wide.

“A date, huh?” Neil noticed, looking happily surprised.  “Sorry, I— I didn’t know— you didn’t say anything—”

“No, it’s cool,” you shook your head, “it’s kind of a last minute thing… you know how they’re showing Rope at the Palace tonight?  I met this, um, this guy the other day and we got to talking, and I asked him if he’d wanna come with me.”

“Rope, wow, that’s a great first date movie,” Neil nodded approvingly, “that sounds perfect.”

“Yeah— he hasn’t seen it, actually,” you admitted, smiling nervously, “so I guess how much he likes it will kinda be a good judge of if he’s worth going out again, right?”

Jonathan nodded approvingly, but Neil seemed skeptical.  "Well, the showing isn't until nine— you can at least hang out until the movie starts, right?"

"I've gotta get home and get changed!" you explained 

"You can't wear that to a date?" Julien wondered.

"No!" you scoffed, looking down at your ripped jeans and Dracula t-shirt.  "Besides, I have this whole plan of what I'm gonna wear— remember when we did Bonnie and Clyde for Halloween?"

Neil was Bonnie and you were Clyde, in fact; he looked shockingly good in that blood-red lipstick, you tried to convince him to wear it again but he insisted it was a one-night-only situation.  

"I figure if I wear my Clyde suit, I'll look kinda like James Stewart!"

"You're doing drag on a first date?" Lucien pressed, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, lighten up, I'm just dressing up for the movie— I'll still, you know, try to look pretty," you assured.  "What, I don't look good in a suit?  'Cause I got a lot of compliments on Halloween—"

"No, hey, go for it," Jonathan decided, "it's festive!"

"I think it's cool," Neil agreed.  "Have fun, alright?  And if he creeps you out or something, call the store number and I'll come get you."

"I'm not really worried about—"

"You know? Just call the store when you get home," Neil decided, "so I'll know you didn't get murdered."

"Dude, chill," you groaned.  "We're going to the movies, not, I don't know… hiking off-trail in the middle of the night."

You never agreed to call, but you did him one better: you ended up coming back to the video store afterwards, a bit over two hours later.  Of course, the guys were still on the couch— apparently the movie was over but they were watching anime (undoubtedly something Jonathan had brought as a palate cleanser after the movie).

They all looked over at you when you came in the front door and the little bell rang; they seemed excited to see you, and presumably to interrogate you about the date.  You sighed, knowing you couldn't have expected anything else, but you'd come here hoping they'd let you watch something with them so you could stop thinking about the date.

“How’d it go, hot stuff?” Jonathan purred, and you rolled your eyes as Lucien wolf-whistled.

“Oh yeah, it was awesome, best first date ever— I’m at his place having sex with him right now,” you frowned as you tossed your purse down onto the couch, and Lucien chuckled while Neil looked a little defeated.  

“Not that great, huh?” Neil noticed.

“Was he a creep?” Jonathan assumed.

“Did he think the movie was bad?” Lucien pressed.

“No, no, he was great,” you sighed, “he loved the movie.  We talked about it for a bit afterwards and he seemed to really understand it.”

“Okay!  That’s good, right?” Jonathan said optimistically.

“Yeah— so good that I asked him when we could do this again,” you recalled, “and he said that he didn’t wanna lead me on and he wasn’t interested in seeing me.”

“What?!” Jonathan yelped, while Neil winced a little.

“He said I was really cool and funny and easy to talk to,” you explained, “but that he didn’t feel any chemistry.”

“Chemistry?” Lucien repeated, confused.

“He means he’s not attracted to me,” you clarified.

“What?” Jonathan scoffed again.  “Why not?”

“I don’t know!” you whined, but you did know.  “I think I’m just, like, friend material.  I’m just ‘one of the guys’, you know?  Not somebody you actually wanna be with.”

“But isn’t that what every guy wants?  To date somebody who’s just ‘one of the guys’?” Lucien noticed, and then paused when everyone gave him an inquisitive look. “That sounded way less gay in my head.  You get what I mean, right?”

“As much as I would love to never let you live that down,” Jonathan smirked, “you’re not wrong— like, a chick who can hang.  That’s the best.”

“Well, here I am!  Hanging!” you snapped.  “Where’s my harem of suitors just desperate to date one of the guys?!”

“I mean, you are wearing a suit…” Neil noticed, getting a little defensive when you groaned and dropped your head back.  “No, no, you look cool!  I mean, you look really great.  I’m not sure what he wasn’t seeing.”

"Maybe he's got a girlfriend!" Jonathan suggested.  "And he was gonna cheat but he chickened out."

"Maybe he's intimidated by strong women," Lucien added, sounding more like he was quoting a Cosmo than actually thinking that.

"Respectfully, guys aren't that complicated," you assured.  "If he wanted me, he would.  He doesn't.  It's not that deep."

Neil looked away when you said that.

"Well, come take a seat on the losers couch," Jonathan offered, but Neil sitting next to him frowned.

"You think I'm a loser?" Neil protested.

"No, I was talking about that couch," Jonathan said as he pointed to the other one which Lucien was on.

"I'm not even offended," Lucien decided, patting the spot next to him.  "I'd rather be a loser with you than a winner with anybody else."

You smiled and plopped down next to him, pulling your legs up on the old sofa and finding the best angle to see the TV from.  "Okay, catch me up," you requested, bracing for the barrage of borderline nonsensical exposition about whatever obscure anime Jonathan was forcing on the group this time.

~

Since the store closed at eight on Tuesdays, you and Neil decided to go out for a late dinner after locking up— the nearest place you usually walked to was a little hole-in-the-wall dishing out Thai fusion, and even though there were open tables inside, you took your paper boxes outside to eat together on a bench.

You each sat up on it with your legs crossed, facing each other, while he poked at his fried rice with his fork and you stirred your noodles with the chopsticks.

“The Palace is still doing their Hitchcock screenings on Sundays,” you recalled, “I think the next one is Rear Window.  We could make Lucien man the store and go see it together?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he smiled.  “But we gotta sneak in the candy, that place is getting so overpriced…”

“Well, that’s a given,” you laughed.  “When I went on my date there I had Sour Patch Kids in my bag, but I was kinda craving Reese’s by the time the movie started.

"That guy sounded like an ass, by the way," Neil announced with a frown.

"Oh, no, it's fine," you dismissed.  "He was really nice, even when he blew me off, and I… I guess I wasn’t really expecting it to go anywhere, anyways.”

“Really?” Neil scoffed.  “Then why’d you ask him out?”

Just in case.  “I… I guess I’m trying to put myself out there more?”

“Huh?  You’re trying to put out more?” Neil joked.

You rolled your eyes and unfolded your legs to kick him playfully.  “You know what I mean,” you groaned.

“Yeah, yeah,” he admitted, “and I support it.  It’s sort of insane that you’re still single.”

“Wow, thanks for the pep talk,” you rolled your eyes before shoving a thick swirl of spicy-sweet noodles in your mouth.

“No!  I mean, like, I can’t believe you’re single,” he clarified, and you smiled somewhat awkwardly while chewing your mouthful.  “You’re smart and fun and cool and pretty—”

Thanks to the food in your mouth, you didn’t have to worry about coming up with a way to respond to that, so you just shrugged.

“Seriously!” he insisted.  “I mean, guys hit on you at the store— I wish somebody who actually deserved your attention would walk in that place.”

The guy I want is already there every day.  Swallowing, you finally got a chance to talk to him again.  “Thanks,” you sighed, “it’s fine, though.  I mean, I’ve been single this long— I think I’ll survive.”

“Keep waiting for the right one, okay?” he encouraged, and your heart swelled.

“I will,” you promised, sounding more wistful than you meant to.

After a brief lull in the conversation, he cleared his throat and continued.  “Hey, um, while we’re on the topic of Sunday, about the whole fuck-marry-kill thing—”

“I’m sorry,” you offered right away, “I shouldn’t have answered that.  I wasn’t being serious, obviously.”

“No, I wanted to apologize,” he returned, “I shouldn’t have pressed you on your answer.  It was funny.  And it wasn’t like you could say you were gonna kill one of us.”

You snorted.  “Yeah, that one was probably the worst of the three.”

“But I shouldn’t have asked you about what you would’ve done to me,” he shook his head, “I was making it weird.  So, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assured.  “Did you really expect me to say I would marry you?”

“No,” he admitted, “I thought you’d say you’d fuck me, marry Lucien and kill Jonathan.”

“What?” you scoffed, though you were still smiling.  “Why?”

“Well, Lucien would definitely make the best husband of the three of us,” he explained, “and Jonathan was the only one who wouldn’t have gotten butthurt about you saying you’d kill him.  He probably would’ve just asked you to give him a nice send-off, y’know…”

You nodded in agreement, wondering if he was going to address the obviously missing third piece of all this… he sure was staring down into his empty fried rice container with intense focus…

“And, you know, as for me,” he began sort of thinly, “I, um… I guess I just figured, you know, you’re the most comfortable with me.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “obviously, but maybe that would make it worse?  Like, at least with Jonathan, I know that if we ever did hook up or something, it probably wouldn’t mess up our friendship.  ‘Cause we’re friendly and all, but it’s not so serious.  But with you…”

“Uh huh, well, that’s why it’s good it’s just a game,” Neil finished for you, chucking his trash in the nearest can.  “Don’t have to worry about any of that stuff.  Least of all you and I being married.  Talk about a disaster.”

You choked on your throat.  “Yeah.  No kidding…”

“Well, anyways,” he sighed, standing up from the bench and stretching for a moment, “wanna come over and see if the game’s still on?”

“Oh, um, I’m just gonna go back to my place,” you decided, throwing away the last couple bites of your food on account of your suddenly-lost appetite.  “Kinda thinking I should get my sleep schedule in order.”

“That’s good,” he nodded, “I respect that.  Have a good night, then, kid.”

“Yeah, you too,” you breathed, waving as he turned and walked off into the night, tucking his hands into his jean pockets.  

You looked down at your lap, taking a deep breath and shutting your eyes for a second.  Did he have to be so sweet just to cut you down like that?  Could he have even known how it would hurt you to say that?

It’s not even like he was wrong, but you were dying to ask him why he was so sure that you and him together would be so bad.  What was wrong with you that he still couldn’t see you that way?

Not interested in this repetitive thought cycle anymore, and being very familiar with where it leads, you got up and started to walk down the street.  You didn’t turn to go to your apartment, though; you kept going until you heard live music— scratchy, whiny guitars and throbbing bass drums— seeping out of the club.  You just needed to be somewhere familiar that wasn’t the video store or home; and, this place conveniently also had liquor.

You slipped inside— hit by a wave of sound as you entered— and took a seat at the bar, half-listening to the band that was playing, pretending to be focused at all on what was going on in the outside world rather than just spiraling into your own thoughts inside your head.

“Hey,” Jonathan nodded at you from the other side of the bar, and you nodded back.  He instantly started looking for Neil— of course he would— and you deflated a bit.  “You here alone?” he noticed.

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

“Wow,” he smirked, “it’s like when Peter Pan’s shadow escaped.”

You should’ve probably been offended by that, but it wasn’t worth denying— and you were more interested in getting liquored up than justifying that you did, in fact, have a life outside of Neil.

And, actually, Peter Pan was a pretty good way to describe Neil, too.  Fear of commitment, leader of freaks and outcasts, daydreamer… all he needed was some green tights.  “What are you drinking tonight?” Jonathan finally asked.

“What pairs well with feeling completely unattractive and unlovable?” you sighed.

“Well, that would be my drink of choice: whiskey,” he smiled, setting a bottle down in front of you.  “I’ll do a shot with you.”

He poured you both a shot, and you timed it to shoot it back together; he, obviously, took it better with you, and you cringed from the acidic flavor.  "Jesus, people really drink this on purpose?" you grumbled.

"Yeah, give it a few minutes," he assured, "it's gonna numb all those stupid emotions."

"I don't have a few minutes," you sighed, "do you have anything more fast-acting?"

"Yeah— a second shot," he joked, but you nodded in agreement.  "Okay, shit, you're not messing around tonight."

"Nope," you agreed, watching him pour just one shot this time.  "You're not doing it with me?"

"I need to pace myself, I'm here 'til two," he explained.

He slid it to you and you contemplated it for a moment, before forcing yourself to get it down as quickly as possible to avoid the burn.  You still grimaced, but recovered quickly.

"Is it working yet?" he wondered.

"I guess," you answered half-heartedly.

“Well, you could always gush to the bartender about all your problems?” he offered, but you just shrugged it off.  “Come on, you wouldn’t be the first tonight.  And since I know you, I might actually be able to help.”

“I don’t think you can help with this one,” you assured.  “This problem has been going on longer than you’ve ever been around.”

“Oh?” he pressed.  “Let me guess… boy troubles?”

“Isn’t it always?” you scoffed, irritated that he saw through you that quickly— apparently your reputation of being horrible with men preceded you.

“But this is just one boy,” he presumed.  “One boy who… conspicuously isn’t here tonight…”

“Is it that obvious?” you wondered with a whine, dropping your head in your hand.

“Well, if you weren’t having any issues with him, you’d be with him,” Jonathan guessed— and it wasn’t bad logic.

“But, like, does everyone know?” you wondered.  “Does everyone but him know that I’m in love with him?  Oh god, Jonathan, you don’t think he knows, do you?”

“Wait— love?” he repeated, and you swallowed thickly as you realized the whiskey had already gotten you to say too much.  “You… you’re…”

“Okay, so I guess not everyone knows,” you mumbled.

“No, yeah, I think you managed to keep that under wraps,” he assured with a nod, eyes getting wider.  “Sheesh.  No, I had no clue.  Now it’s even weirder that you guys aren’t together.”

“Well, he doesn’t love me,” you explained flatly.

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, god no— I mean, he tells me he loves me,” you corrected, “but he doesn’t mean— we just say that, you know, like at the end of phone calls or when one of us is sad.  It’s not, like… we never meant it that way.”

“Right, okay,” Jonathan nodded as he wiped a glass— the way bartenders do when they’re listening to people— but he didn’t seem to understand entirely.  “So, you’re not his type?”

“I don’t think I know what his type is,” you scoffed.  “I haven’t really noticed a pattern, have you?”

“You’d have to have a few more data points to really draw any connection between them,” Jonathan laughed.

“Yeah, fair,” you smiled, “he’s only had… I don’t know, maybe four girlfriends since I’ve known him?  One in high school, for a month— then Eva, they weren’t even really serious, just dating for a while.  And then, uh—”

“Tanisha,” he remembered.

“Right!  I liked her,” you hummed.

“What happened to her again?” he wondered.

“Got back with her ex,” you recalled.

“Wow, that blows,” Jonathan sighed.  

“She told me before she told him,” you admitted.  “She wanted me to tell him for her, actually, but I… I couldn’t do that to him.  But I came over right after, you know, and we ate ice cream from the tub and watched movies ‘til we fell asleep.”

Jonathan made a sort of face, one you couldn’t quite interpret, and you tilted your head as he seemed to mumble to himself.  

“What?” you wondered.

“Nothing, it’s just… he’s kind of an idiot,” Jonathan decided.  “I don’t think he gets how lucky he is.”

You wrinkled your brows together, laughing a bit.  “What do you mean?”

“Look, I’m not saying he’s, like, legally obligated to fall in love with you just because you guys get along so well,” he clarified, “even if that’s what Neil accused me of thinking— I really do think it’s fine for men and women to just be friends.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“I’m just saying… like, how do you have someone who cares about you that much, and you end up dating fucking Denise for almost a year?!”

“Well, nobody knows how he ended up with Denise,” you coughed.  “That was a fucking disaster.”

“I mean, not to be crass, but, uh,” he stumbled a little over his words, “I’m surprised that you coming over after that breakup didn’t turn into a rebound, at least.”

“After eating that much ice cream?” you laughed.  “That would’ve been awful.”

“But really, though,” he insisted.  “I have a hard time believing the thought didn’t even cross his mind…”

“I can’t really be sure that it didn’t,” you admitted, “I’m just saying, nothing happened.”

“I guess he’s just known you too long to go for it with you,” Jonathan shrugged.

“It’s not just that— you know Neil, he’s kind of an adrenaline junkie,” you rolled your eyes, “or at least he thinks he is.  He wants adventure, I guess— and he always talks about us doing spontaneous stuff but it never happens— and I’m just too familiar.  Too comfortable.”

“Yeah, he does kinda have something against stability,” Jonathan agreed, “do you think it’s a divorced parents thing?”

“I don’t know, I stopped analyzing that a long time ago,” you groaned, “and I told myself I would stop trying to be what I thought he wanted, but I think I keep doing it.”

“Well, I know you know him better than anybody,” Jonathan countered, “but I know guys, and that guy… there’s no way he thinks of you as just a friend.”

“Why do you think that?” 

“Because he was fucking lying when he said it wouldn’t piss him off if we hooked up,” he insisted.

“You really won’t let that go, will you?” you grinned.

“Did you see his face?  He couldn’t get the image out of his head!” Jonathan assured confidently.  “And then that whole ‘fuck marry kill’ thing— he started getting nervous, I think.”

“Nervous about what?”

“That something could really happen with us!”

“You really think he would care?” you frowned.

“I swear to— to Ash Williams,” he decided, “that if I walked into that fucking video store, and told him that you and I did whiskey shots and you came back to my place and we did the horizontal tango, he would beat me to death with the register.”

“You swear on Ash Williams?” you repeated with a smirk, knowing that meant more than swearing on any deity would mean.

“Him and his chainsaw hand,” Jonathan assured, putting a hand over his heart to add to the bit, and you giggled.

“Well, I don’t think Neil can pick up the register,” you decided.

“In that case, you let me know the next time you wanna get back at him for something,” he offered with a wink, and you smiled at him sympathetically.

“I know you’re trying to be nice,” you sighed, “but you don’t have to do that.”

“Hey, come on,” he frowned, “I know you’ve got this I’m insecure I’m a weirdo nobody notices me thing, but you can’t actually think it would be some kind of charity work for me to sleep with you—”

“No, I don’t mean that,” you sighed, “I know I could get laid if I wanted to—”

“But you don’t wanna get laid,” he finished for you, “you wanna be loved.”

You sighed again, even harder.  “Yeah,” you nodded.

“I know,” he agreed.  “And you know I love you, but—”

“But not like that,” you took your turn finishing his sentence.

His only reply was raising the bottle of whiskey with a sideways smile, a silent offer to pour another shot— for both of you this time.

“Yes, please,” you hummed, watching him fill the miniature glasses with a sigh.

part 2

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.

steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.

eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.

so steve is all over eddie, it seems.

at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.

so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.

robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?

eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.

it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?

- robin and steve

“Steve.”

“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“

“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…

Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.

“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”

To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”

“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.

“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”

“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“

“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”

To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.

“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.

“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“

“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.

“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”

She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.

He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.

After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.

“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”

He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.

“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“

“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.

“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“

“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”

Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.

“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”

“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”

“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”

- later. steve’s house. to be continued?

[goldsbitch]

Past lives

Charles Leclerc is opening an ice-cream shop...And nobody knows why.

romantic, soulmate au, one shot, short

"Past lives couldn't ever hold me down Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around" - Past Lives, Børns

It's the little things that resonate for no apparent reason.

The fact he would always lean towards a perfume with bergamot undertones - because in his past life, the love of his love was obsessed with bergamot tea.

The fact she would have the windows open at any possible occasion - because in her past, she and the love of her life lived in a small house at the top of a windy hill.

The fact he hated alcohol, because in one their lifetimes, the love of his life drowned her sorrows a little too often and lost herself in it.

The fact she could not watch war time movies, because in one of their past lives he died tragically, and a little too early for them to build a proper life together.

They did not get to meet in each life. But when they did, it was one for the history books. Not the ones about grandiose, history changing events, but the little sweet ones, usually to be found at the back of the antique bookstores. The mundane miracles that are hard to describe to the unlucky ones, who do not get to experience them. Some of them end up with a happy end, some of them with the biggest life lessons human soul can swallow.

It's the strange feeling of "I belong here" or "I think this will taste good". Why? Because you had seen it in the past, because you had been there in a different life time.

Fate plays a funny little game. Has one and their soulmate born just in time for them to be able to find each other, but likes to put obstacles in between. Distance, social barriers, conflicting dreams.

This kind of love leaves traces around the history. Songs, poems, buildings and initials carved into stones and benches. Wedding rings passed on in families and eventually sold once everyone has forgotten. Portraits of unknown faces and photos found at the bottom of old wardrobes. The ancient piping in an old house that still works because he built it for her to live in.

The soul keeps a memory, unreachable to the simple mind of the body, as it travelled from one lifetime to another.

That's how she found herself staring at a random, actually not that important, painting hung in a gallery exhibition dedicated to landscapes from the romantic era. She wasn't exactly a galleries type of person, but a girls trip to Paris had to include something more than parties and shopping. She stood there for good five minutes, totally mesmerised by a painting that did not particularly stood out from the rest. Little did she know that the silhouette standing in the field was one of her past self and that the painting had been done by her soulmate in one of their luckier past lives. It was like she could smell the summer weeds growing, hear the ground under her feet and understood what the author wanted to capture. And he was successful enough to capture the attention of his love throughout centuries once again. As her friends dragged her away to end their artsy part of their trip, she made sure to mark the name of the artist.

For some inexplicable reason, Charles Leclerc, in this life a racing driver, was opening an ice cream shop in in Milan. It probably would have made more sense to everyone, himself included, if he'd known that in one of their luckier past lives, he and his soulmate met in a small café in that city, few decades before that. He would come in one day, order an ice-cream and then did not stop coming until he managed to charm her.

[shun-nie]

Hii!! If you dont mind writing something dark. Can you write satosugu with reader who often gone because she is sort of depressive and just want to run away. Reader is cool and collected in outside but never really expressed anything about herself. Thank youu in advanced

SatoSugu x reader

->You're a grade 1 sorcerer, and literally bestfriends with everyone. The problem is, you never smile. Nah, that's not your thing. But you can understand everyone, and look from their perspective before comforting them. You're a close friend of theirs, but how come they don't know anything about you??

Warnings!!!! Dark themes, gn!reader, mentions of suicide and death, swearing!!!!

"Man, where is Y/N? It gets boring when they're not around." Satoru sighed and pouted, not liking the silence in the room.

"That's for you to ask and nobody to know." Shoko replied with a bored tone, she was used to you disappearing out of nowhere. Now, don't get her wrong. She is worried about you, and she actually tried to search for you one time, but couldn't find you even if she was looked around for 3 hours.

Suguru was looking at the floor with an unreadable expression, the trio was just sitting around and doing nothing other than joking around with eachother. But Suguru felt off, one month ago, as everyone was hanging out together, Haibara said he never saw you smile. You just shrugged and told them "There's nothin' funny.", then Satoru and Haibara teamed up to make you smile, making dumb expressions and making Nanami sigh out of disappointment. ((It didn't make you smile at all.))

Suguru started to notice; how you would look out of window deep in thought, how you would disappear after the missions, how you would stare with an unreadable gaze when Suguru and Satoru laughed at their own jokes. Suguru opened up about this to Satoru, and he said he saw you sitting with your head down with fists clenched once. Now, Suguru was a smart man, he could connect the dots but he couldn't understand you. Not when he doesn't even know when your birthday is—

Wait.

"Do you guys know Y/N's birthday?" Suguru suddenly asked, Satoru and Shoko shared a look before opening their mouths to reply—

Wait, did you ever mentioned your birth date?

"...I..don't.." Shoko felt ashamed, beacuse you knew everything about her. How she liked her coffee, which foods she prefered, the clothes she liked to wear, the movies she liked to watch..and she doesn't even know your birthday? Satoru was wearing a similar expression, he actually opened up to you about his problems. How everyone was expecting him to be the best, how he felt too much pressure on his shoulders, how people didn't see him as Satoru but as Gojo. You comforted him, you put yourself in his place and both of you talked shit about higher-ups for the next hours. Then you turned to him and said :

"People sucks, the only thing they know is how to talk. You could feel like you're the only one and nobody is there for you, but you're not alone Satoru."

Oh how great he felt after you said those words, he noticed you were actually very good at empathizing. Probably the only thing he knows about you besides your name and age.

"I can't believe after all these years, the only thing we know about them is that their name and age." Satoru said, looking at the ceiling. Suguru sighed and texted you for the 28th time, you didn't respond, you never did.

"I think we need to confront them about it, maybe there is something going on that they can't bring themselfs to tell us." Suguru said, looking up from his phone to see his friends. Shoko sighed and shook her head.

"Maybe If you two are the ones confront them, I think they're closer to the both of you than us." Shoko said, lighting up a cigarette. Suguru and Satoru shared a look before nodding, they were going to talk about this when they had the chance.

.

.

.

"Where were you yesterday? We called you like, 40 times?" Satoru frowned, slightly glaring at you as he poked your cheek. Suguru nodded, wanting to hear your excuse too.

"My phone was on silent, I didn't really notice it." you said, clearly avoiding the real question. They both frowned, the three of you were sitting at a table, eating some snacks that you paid for. You came back after disappearing for 10 hours and they took the chance to talk about your problems, but there was an issue, you refused to tell them anything about yourself.

"And? Where were you when you were not at school? We even searched for you." Suguru said, watching as you sighed and took a sip of your cold water. You were clearly thinking of a way out of here.

"Does it really matter? Why are you asking me questions anyway, I thought this was a date and not an interrogation." you said, trying to cover yourself with a flirty sentence. To your surprise, it didn't work this time.

"Tell us the truth or I'm really going to use my cursed technique on your liar ass." Satoru said and rolled his eyes, you never saw him this serious. Ugh, these questions are really overwhelming you.

"..."

"Why the fuck do you want to know about me? It's really starting to get annoying."

They both stared at you with a 'don't give us that shit right now' stare, you groaned and looked at the ceiling. Thinking if you really should tell them, you really don't like to talk about yourself, and about your own problems? Ah, hell no. You don't want to open up to anyone until the day you die.

"After I use my cursed technique, well, it hurts me both physically and mentally I guess. I don't want to show that side of me to you guys so I just...hide. Where I go is none of your business." Their eyes widened, so that's why you always disappear after missions? Suguru was in deep thought, so that's why you didn't want to fight curses if not necessary. And why you always had a painkiller in your pocket. This was bad, why didn't they notice you were hurting? Were they that blind?

"Then why are you a jujutsu sorcerer you dumb fuck? You—You're an important friend to everyone in that damned place! What if you die beacuse of it, huh?!" Satoru shouted, he really wanted to punch you in the face so you would realize that—

"Do I look like I wanna continue living?" you asked, looking away from them. Fuck, you were not supposed to say that. Now they'll blame themselves beacuse they didn't notice it earlier or some shit like that.((they were actually blaming themselves))

"..."

There was a silence at the table for the next 2 minutes, both Suguru and Satoru looking at you with shock. Suguru wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say. How could they help you in any way? You clearly didn't want to talk about it any more than it is. Satoru was having a hard time understanding what you meant, you always pushed people to not give up and talk about their problems beacuse 'It would hurt more if you bottled it up.'((your words, not his.)) So how come you made them fight for their life when you already gave up your own? Why did you lie?

"Idiot. You're a total idiot." Satoru said quietly then raised his hand and smacked your head, you were actually surprised, just as you raised your head to tell him to fuck off Suguru smacked your head too.

"What the-"

"And you still have the audacity to face us? Shit head." Satoru rolled his eyes and hugged you, his hold on you very tight. Suguru held your hand and squeezed it to give you comfort.

"You were there anytime we needed you, so let us do the same alright?" Suguru said as Satoru let go of you, you noticed his eyes were a bit teary. Suguru was smiling but you could tell he was sad you didn't told them anything. What was this? Were you actually feeling loved? Nah, that was not your thing. Then what was this warm feeling in your chest? Damn it, why did you felt like crying?

To both Suguru and Satoru's surprise, you laughed. You had a nice laugh, they thought.

"You both are—really making me feel fuzzy and soft." You smiled and hugged them both, Suguru chuckled and hugged you back as Satoru felt nice you ruffled his hair while you hugged him.

Everything was good for now.

.

.

.

((I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO POST😭😭😭))

[crystallilytarot]

MDNI

The moment they will realize they found the One! Choose a porcelain doll.

Pile 1

It's probably on a trip or a little vacation, can be just a weekend in a hotel. But I think it's not home. You will be very happy, confident, just enjoying life. And you will have a pretty passionate night together. One of your most passionate night in your whole life. And I see you will fall asleep, but they are not. They are still watching you as you sleep. Don't worry, not a creepy way, more like a greatful, happy way, because you are their partner. And they will feel it right at that moment. But I think they don't realize it, until the morning after. When you are again have some passion together, this time not so wild, maybe a little more romantic way, and either during sex or after, they will say that they love you, probably other sweet things too. And they will be completely sure about their feelings.

Pile 2

I think you will be a little anxious about their feeling, maybe even they don't realize what they feel. Can be a little argument too, because of something, not so big. Or just you have a not so good day. And they will want to cheer you up, they want to go with you somewhere. An invitation to somewhere, can be work related or a friend's party or something. I see you will buy something together, maybe a gift to that friend. And they will see that you can really work together as a team. For someone it's working together literally in the workplace. They will suddenly realize that you are such a great match. But the cherry on top is that event. You will wear something a little elegant, you will look so good. And when they see you, literal heart eyes. Like a romantic movie, they will imagine your life together right there. Maybe it takes them a minute, but from that moment, they will know, they don't want to be with anybody, but you, because you are everything they dreamed of.

Pile 3

I am sorry but they are a dummy lol It feels like love at first sight, but they will think that it's too soon, so they won't say anything for a while. Maybe they will think in the beginning, that it's just lust and they want to make sure about their feelings. Okay, I take it back, not a dummy, that's actually good. Oh no, forget it. So they will just live in their head for a while, maybe not even think about their feelings really, or maybe waiting for you to show or say something about your feelings first. Or like a delusional person, they think you feel the same, so it's not even neccessery to say it. And than I don't think it's a certain day, more like it's going on for a while. So you are kind, and beautiful, and you will help someone. Or doing something creative, can be at work or with friends. And they will watch you, admire you, they will know that you are like a literal queen /king, they will know that nobody is like you. But still, don't say anything until there will be someone who will try to flirt with you or trying to be more than friends. And a switch turns in their head, like no, that can't be, so they will wake up from their daydreaming state. And they will be very romantic suddenly, dates, gift, everything, and in the end, they finally say it too.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #49

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.3k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Taehyung's ability to persuade you to do things you normally don't feel like doing still amazes you. You've no idea how the man does it but he surely has his ways. In your defense, you didn't let yourself be persuaded quickly.

"I'm not going to a bar on Sunday, Taehyung."

That's what you told him when he suddenly came up with an idea to go out in the evening. He had decided not to go home after breakfast, not that you minded his company. Not at all. Jungkook was busy finishing your bed after breakfast while you and Taehyung watched movies the entire day. It was a calm day – until Taehyung's extrovertness and need to go out came up to the surface.

"Relax, you're not getting drunk."

So the next ten minutes were spent with his attempts of getting you to agree to his plan, involving Jungkook as soon as he came up from the office room – which is going to be your room as well from now.

"We are just going to hang out."

"Come on. Jimin bailed on me and I'm lonely."

Just a glimpse of what he said to make you finally agree.

In the end, Jungkook agreed as well and offered to be the driver.

"I can't believe he made us go out on Sunday." you comment with a mutter under your breath, glancing down at your already finished drink.

Going to a local bar is what you mean.

Jungkook glances at you, arm outstretched behind your seat as he grins. "You're acting as if it's the first time that has happened."

Well, he has a point. 

Taehyung scoffs, reminding you that he has heard you perfectly as he sits on the opposite side of you and Jungkook, adjusting the button-up Jungkook has borrowed him since he barged in wearing pajamas last night. He actually borrowed a whole outfit from Jungkook which seems kind of weird, because he looks like Jungkook. Minus the face and tattoos of course, but still. Their fashion style is kind of different, not totally but seeing Jungkook in that button-up before and now Taehyung wearing it is... interesting and odd.

Not that it doesn't suit him. Taehyung usually wears similar clothes when going out at night. It's the fact those clothes are Jungkook's but well, he looks good in them. The looks Taehyung gets from the women in this bar just proves that.

"Oh please, what were you two about to do on a Sunday anyway?" Taehyung raises his eyebrows at you lazily, "Fuck behind everyone's back?" he laughs, your entire face heating up as his name leaves your mouth in a hushed exclamation.

"Probably." Jungkook shrugs, not letting Taehyung get to him as you give him a look but he looks relaxed and not very bothered by your friend's jab.

The little twitch in the corner of his lips tells you last night has crossed his mind.

"Relax, I'm just joking," Taehyung rolls his eyes at you, "Is it really that bad to hang out with me?" Taehyung asks with a glare and edge to his voice, but looking at him you realize how the undertone of his question is plainly just sad and you immediately feel bad.

"No, Tae, that's not what I meant," you assure him, shaking your head as you prop your elbows on the table and lean closer to him. "It's just, it's Sunday and I have work tomorrow. All of us do actually. I don't want to go to sleep too late and then having to deal with Junho's annoying ass the whole next day. Plus, I can't get drunk."

It's not like you haven't done it before. It's not that big of a problem to be honest.

Everyone knows you want to get a good amount of sleep before having to wake up early in the morning. It's just how you prefer to do things and thanks to your friends, you get a good amount of clubbing and hanging out in public places a lot.

"Nobody is getting drunk. We are just having a few good drinks and that's it."

But you should've known to never trust him when it comes to drinking and having fun.

With more drinks on your and Taehyung's part, Jungkook gladly sticking to coke, the evening started to get more relaxed in terms of you relaxing and sharing a good laugh with your friends. Suddenly, getting more drinks didn't sound so bad and once Taehyung suddenly came up with another plan of visiting a nearby club, surprisingly you already stood up ready to go.

You're nowhere near dressed appropriately for a club. Just a pair of dark jeans, a nice top and heels – not your average good outfit but you don't care.

Not even when Jungkook reminds you of your work tomorrow, not very sold on the idea of going clubbing on Sunday night as you and Taehyung both wave him off. Sighing, he still joins you – not that he has a choice since he is both your driver.

It doesn't even make sense. You only go to the club to get more drinks which you could've happily got in the bar. Club is loud, full of people and stinky but in your drunken state, it seems like the most logical and greatest idea. You blame it on Taehyung.

You and Taehyung dance through a few songs though, something you wouldn't be able to do in a bar. Jungkook watches you two the entire night like a parent, and if you weren't so drunk you would feel bad for him having to stick to his non-alcoholic drinks while he babysits not only you but Taehyung as well.

He happily reminds you he's okay and doesn't want to get drunk, every time you drunkenly sit back down into the booth and pout at him.

"You're drunk," Jungkook comments, chuckling as his thumb brushes against the corner of your lips as you give him a lazy grin. "You should take it slow." he reminds you softly, snorting when you take a sip of your drink, ignoring his words.

You sheepishly grin at him, sitting back which happens to be on Jungkook's side as you cuddle up to him. Taehyung currently flirts with one of the women, which is also the reason you joined Jungkook because he shooed you away as soon as she approached you and him. Idiot.

However, he doesn't bail on you and joins you shortly after.

Jungkook reminds you two to stop drinking so much every few minutes but just like always, you both wave him off.

"Sober people are always annoying when others are drinking." Taehyung comments and you start giggling like it's the funniest thing he could've said right after Jungkook has scolded him for ordering another round of drinks.

"This sober annoying person is driving you home." Jungkook reminds him with a grumble, your giggling continuing.

To Jungkook's luck, you decide to end the night when you start getting tipsy, almost falling asleep on Jungkook's chest while Taehyung looks like he has had enough – equally getting tired and too drunk to barely stand on his feet.

How he manages to get you two in his car is beyond him, but he's glad when you're both seated in the back as he drives through the night to his apartment. Taehyung's car is in a parking lot in front of Jungkook's building, so there's no way he's driving him home. Also, he is drunk and doesn't want to waste time driving him home, having to actually get him to up his floor and apartment.

It's not like it's a bother to him for Taehyung to spend a night over. At least he is not left with blue balls this time.

"Well--this is new," Taehyung slurs drunkenly in the back, your head that's been leaned against the window lazily turns to him as you questionably look at him. "I haven't even kissed anyone tonight."

You snort, giggling. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, it's just weird." he giggles to himself as you join him.

"You know what's weird?" you ask, pointing at your outfit as Taehyung cocks his head at you. "This outfit."

You both cackle right after, causing Jungkook to roll his eyes at the two of you and what a hangover you two are about to have. The last time you were even similarly drunk to your current state was at the New Year's Eve trip – something that's hard to forget.

"Nah, you look good." Taehyung murmurs, his words coming out as snort as he starts drifting away but your voice shakes him out of it.

"You really think so?"

You sound so hopeful and light, causing Jungkook to stifle back a laugh as Taehyung encouragingly nods like the supporting friend he is.

"No, you're just saying that because you're my friend." you grumble sadly as Taehyung drunkenly tries to reach towards you but ends up almost slapping you in the face which causes you to click your tongue at him in annoyance.

"No, I'm not!" he argues childishly as you cross your arms over your chest, not even caring your top makes your breasts almost spill out of it with how low it is tugged by your arms.

"You are!"

"No, you idiot!"

"I'm not an idiot!"

Taehyung sighs, fighting back the need to just close his eyes and sleep. "You are hot."

"You mean it?" you pout again, staring hopefully at drunk Taehyung but you're not the one to talk, looking just as hammered.

"Yeah!" Taehyung exclaims enthusiastically, "I would totally go for you if you were a stranger."

"You would?"

Jungkook listens to the absurd conversation, silently counting down the minutes to his apartment building. Why the fuck you sound so happy? 

"Yeah!" he exclaims again, burping right after as you giggle. "I would totally kiss you tonight if you weren't my friend."

"Kiss me?"

Oh fuck, you're so drunk. You even sound interested knowing the thought of kissing one of your friends – excluding Jungkook of course – is like kissing your brother. But this doesn't even cross your mind.

"Mhm, you wanna kiss?" Taehyung proposes, drunkenly sending you a crooked grin as he leans towards you while you sit behind Jungkook's seat, grinning at him just as much.

Why not? What could go wrong?

"Yeah!"

You both start to lean closer to each other, pursing your lips like little kids do but before you can even get any closer, the car comes to an abrupt stop which almost makes you both fly through windshield if it weren't for the seatbelt Jungkook has so kindly put on both of you.

Before Taehyung can even open his mouth, taking him too long to realize what has just happened, Jungkook is out of his seat as the door on Taehyung's side is pushed open.

"Yah, what the fuck man?" Taehyung complains, slurring his words as Jungkook takes off his seatbelt and pulls him out of his seat.

Taehyung complains the whole time, your drunk mind having a hard time comprehending what is happening until Taehyung sits in a passenger seat, Jungkook clicking on his seatbelt with a frown before the door is shut.

You blink confusingly at the back, your stomach feeling funny from the harsh stop you just made as you're trying not to throw up.

"You're both so fucking wasted." Jungkook mutters under his breath, putting the car into drive fastly.

You both fall asleep for the rest of the ride, Taehyung waking up just as Jungkook parks in an underground garage where he only recently bought a parking spot. He already looks as if he can't remember a thing, blinking as he watches his surroundings with sleepy and bloodshot eyes – Jungkook chuckles once he notices Taehyung's dumbfounded expression.

Getting him out of the car is just as hard as he expected, Taehyung barely able to stand on his feet while Jungkook scolds him to at least try and stand for a solid minute while he tries to get you out of the car.

Taehyung leans against his car, palms messily outstretched on its windows as he leaves handprints all over it and Jungkook has to take a deep breath. Opening the door on your side, you're already sleeping with your head and neck in an uncomfortable position.

You're so out of it, he thinks as he tries to wake you up. Brushing a few strands of your hair off your face, he gently calls out your name while he shakes your shoulder but you murmur something under your breath, trying to swat his hand off.

Sighing, he grunts once he sneaks his arms around your frame and tries to take you into his arms. With your lack of response and difficult position it's not easy but eventually he successfully manages to pull you out, holding you bridal style as he shuts the car door with his hip.

"Why don't I get such a privilege?" Taehyung pouts, slurring once he notices you in Jungkook's arms while he's scared to let go of the car, guessing he won't be able to hold himself on his feet for long.

"Because you're heavy and my size," Jungkook answers nonchalantly, telling him to at least try holding his forearm, so he doesn't fall.

Carrying you in his arms with Taehyung attached to his side is even more difficult but by the time you make it into the elevator, he promises himself not to ever listen to you or Taehyung's drunk ideas.

Fortunately for Jungkook and his sake, Taehyung finds his way to the couch and even though Jungkook had to scold him to take off his shoes before he enters his home any further, he slouches himself on the couch and falls asleep right away.

Jungkook manages to put you into your newly assembled bed and fresh sheets. The bed fits into his office room but with the lack of space, one side has to be pressed against the wall and it looks a little bit awkward but it's not like it's important.

While Jungkook is taking your shoes off, you start to shift on your spot as your eyes open with a few lazy blinks as you look around. It's funny watching you trying to figure out where you are, until you spot Jungkook's desk and computer before Jungkook himself stares at you with a tiny amused grin.

You suddenly pat your face, gasping. "My make-up."

For fuck sake, Jungkook thinks as he sighs and is ready to try to convince you to take it off tomorrow because he doesn't have the energy to get you to the bathroom and take it off for you while you will keep dozing off. He doesn't really need you falling and hitting your head or something. Why can't you just lay down and sleep like Taehyung does? 

You're already standing up before Jungkook can somehow convince you to go to sleep either way, and he quickly pushes you back to bed. "Alright, alright, I'll be right here. Just wait."

A tiny part of him, okay actually a big one, hopes by the time he comes back you'll be already asleep but of course, it wouldn't be you if you listened to his never spoken pleas. He finds you staring at the ceiling with a lazy look, your eyes fighting for some sleep but you remain awake, looking at Jungkook who sits on the edge of bed.

He takes off your make-up, careful not to be too harsh with his movements. He brought way more make-up wipes than it's needed and if you were observant enough, you would definitely scold him for wasting your wipes like that.

Luck is on his side and you remain oblivious to the unnecessary waste but in his defense, he wants to make sure all of your make-up is gone and you won't curse him the first thing in the morning if you had panda eyes or new break-outs. Honestly, he thinks you would curse him out even if you hadn't any of those, just the thought of going to sleep with your make-up on would be a good reason for you to scold him.

He can't help but chuckle at his thoughts – at the sight of you who has a lazy smile spreaded on your lips.

"Did I really kiss Taehyung?" you suddenly ponder quietly, eyes slowly opening as you try to locate Jungkook ones.

"You almost did." Jungkook answers, gently rubbing the make-up wipe on your chin.

"Oh," you let out, surprised that it wasn't a figment of your drunken imagination. "Wow."

Jungkook glances at you for a second, eyes flickering to your astonished expression before he goes back to his task. "Yeah," he mumbles, "Didn't know you had a thing for Taehyung."

He knows you don't – that's why his tone comes out more light as he lightly jokes.

"I don't," you reply,  "I mean... What's wrong about kissing another friend of mine?" you joke back, snorting at your joke while he frowns.

But he remains silent, not even sure what to say to that because you're clearly drunk. Sober you would be freaked out at the thought of kissing him.

"Jimin has a girlfriend now, so I can't kiss him too."

An audible but slight snort leaves Jungkook's mouth as you continue with your joking.

"Well, too bad it's only us guys." Jungkook jokes, your grin falling off your face immediately as he puts the last make-up wipe onto the floor before he informs you he's done, but that goes unnoticed by you as you sit up.

"What do you mean by that?" you ask, frowning as he catches you by your forearm when you totter and almost fall back. "You would kiss other girls?"

Jungkook tries to stifle back a laugh as your hardened and serious face is not too hard to miss.

"Weren't you about to kiss Taehyung?" he points out, still joking of course but in your current state you can't seem to notice the slightest twitch of his lips or the way he bites into the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing.

This is actually interesting, he thinks, obviously he is just joking and it's not because he can't imagine having another woman or women in your small friends group of four. It's because he's already risking too much by being this close to you – but he purposely pushes any doubts and fears away – he surely wouldn't risk any other friendship by just kissing his friends.

Lifting your hand up, you sloppily trace his lips while he stares at you amusingly as you seem too deep in your thoughts. "Your lips are mine to kiss." you tell him, grinning drunkenly at him and he bites back a laugh, rubbing his nose to hide his grin instead.

"Yeah?" he chuckles and you give him one stiff nod.

"Yeah," you confirm, "I'm not allowing any other girls in our group."

"Alright," Jungkook finally laughs, nodding as he stands up and ushers you to lay back down. "You're the boss here."

Again, you miss his amused tone and expression, thinking he's completely serious as you nod.

"Of course I am," you purse your lips, "I don't want to sleep in my jeans," you mutter sleepily, trying to unbutton them but it's hard to do in your state. "Help me?"

Jungkook sighs, but helps you to get out of your clothes. He was hoping you would just go to sleep. It's not like he minds changing your clothes. He's not exactly a typical best friend and he has seen it all, like you would gladly remind him if he refused, but still – he doesn't find it comfortable changing your clothes when you're in this state. Purely out of respect for you.

Once you're out of your clothes, bra gone with your panties only shielding you, Jungkook tries not to look at your exposed form until he hands you one of your larger size t-shirts you sleep in. You ask for pants which he puts on you as well, the first one he has managed to find which happens to be with a Christmas motive.

"Okay, you're all set boss," Jungkook says, clapping his hands together as he's about to stand up but you grab him by his wrists, slowly sitting up as you tug him closer to you. "What is it?"

You just stare at him, fighting off the sleepiness as you inch closer and deliver a soft peck on his lips. Jungkook is stunned for a moment, staring at you confusingly as you give him a sheepish grin.

"I'm just staking my claim."

Jungkook snorts in amusement, shaking his head at you. "Because of who? I'm not kissing anyone else." he laughs and you frown, suddenly pouting as if you just remember what he is talking about. In your drunk and hazy mind, you have trouble trying to remember what happened in the car in the first place.

"As you shouldn't," you tell him smartly and he laughs quietly.

He knows you're drunk but if it happened while sober, he would actually think you're quite selfish for saying that considering you were about to drunkenly kiss Taehyung. But 'drunkenly' is the key point and he understands that. He doesn't even care, knowing you both got wasted that you barely knew what you were doing. He was just teasing you earlier, he wasn't expecting you to start talking about it.

"I'm getting cold, can you cuddle me?"

"Drink some water first," he says, handing you the glass of water he brought earlier along with the make-up wipes.

You do, gulping it in one go before you hand him the glass back, making yourself comfortable in your bed as Jungkook covers your body. Urging him to join you in bed, he tries to explain he needs to take a shower as you whine childishly. But he doesn't ask you, simply walking out of the room to take a quick shower.

He goes back to check on you, not expecting you to still be awake as you pat a free space next to you.

There's no escape from this, that much is clear to him and without arguing, he joins you in bed.

You start caressing the side of his face and he stares at you with a confused yet amused expression but that's until you give him a kiss. Is that a mint he tastes? 

He frowns in confusion, wondering where the hell have you found it but then he sees a pack of mint dragees on the side table.

However, the kiss doesn't last too long because he pulls away and you pout immediately.

"You don't want to kiss?"

He doesn't know whether you're annoying right now or just cute.

"You're drunk." he informs you as if he just told you news, or at least that's how you currently look as you open your mouth and almost offendly stare up at him.

Your mind seems to be clouded and in your current state you don't understand there are a few reasons why Jungkook wouldn't want to kiss at this moment – but right now all you can feel is offended that he pulled away.

"No, I'm not."

Jungkook chuckles, looking down for a moment while he stays propped on his elbow. "Yes, you are."

You give him a glare, trying to look intimidating but Jungkook wants to laugh rather than feeling intimidated.

"Okay, maybe a little bit," you roll your eyes, "But we can still kiss?"

"That's not what a gentleman would do." Jungkook hums, lips twitching when you whine and slap sheets frustratedly instead.

"Then don't be a gentleman."

"You're so bratty when you're drunk." he comments, shaking his head at you with a grin as he leans over you.

For a moment you think he's about to kiss you but he turns off the lamp instead, causing you to frustratedly huff.

"I won't ever kiss you." you murmur, huffing again as Jungkook lets out another snort.

"We'll see about that." Jungkook mutters and you scoff.

"No, I won't. You can kiss my ass next time."

"Oh, I will," Jungkook grins, "Gladly,"

You turn around with your back to him, mind getting too hazy and tired to continue this argument – or whatever it is.

"Now go to bed, brat. You'll have a nice awakening tomorrow."

You barely register his words, murmuring something you can't even realize you're saying because you're completely out of it. You drift off to sleep with Jungkook scooting closer, enveloping you with his arm and warmth.

"Fucking hell,"

Jungkook isn't even surprised when those are your first words as you join him in the kitchen, holding your head with a pained expression scrunching your puffy morning features.

He has heard voices before you came here, you and Taehyung both complaining about yesterday's night and how much you've overdone it. Not that he disagrees.

Sitting on the stool, Jungkook slides you some painkillers with a glass of water – the same thing he did to Taehyung before he went back to sleep.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver."

Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, preparing cereals for himself as he sends you a look across his shoulder. "Have you thrown up already?"

"Yeah." you embarrassingly admit, just right after you woke up and made it to the bathroom.

"That's good, you will feel better now. If it makes you better, Taehyung already threw up two times. Luckily I expected it, so I prepared a bucket next to him."

You give him a crooked smile, despite the pain your stomach and head is already experiencing.

"What about work?" Jungkook asks, glancing at the digital clock on his stove, seeing you should've been gone a long time ago.

He didn't want to wake you up, knowing you won't be able to wake up at six in the morning when you went to sleep around midnight completely wasted.

"I called Junho, told him I woke up feeling sick."

Yeah, some time in your still half drunk state with a raspy and gruffy voice.

"What did he say?"

"He wasn't happy," you wince, "I'm sure he added to my headache."

"He's a fucking idiot then." Jungkook shrugs, showing you his bowl of cereal in a silent offer but you almost gag, shaking your head with a hand on your mouth.

"Please, I'm the idiot here. Who gets drunk on Sunday when they have work the next day?" you deadpan, Jungkook snorting.

"True,"

He gives you a grin across his shoulder and you reciprocate it, rolling your eyes at him.

"Maybe you'll learn from your mistakes."

"You're annoying." you comment, Jungkook holding his breakfast as he starts eating while standing.

You notice he's fully closed. Jeans, oversized emerald colored hoodie looking fresh which can't be said about you or Taehyung who's trying to sleep his hangover off.

"So were the two of you," Jungkook reacts right away, "Do you remember something from last night?"

"Just fragments," you cringe at yourself, "Did I do something embarrassing?"

Jungkook smirks, swallowing his bite as he leans back against the counter. "Well, let's see...you guys kept drinking despite me warning you. You just waved me off every time and oh, you and Taehyung were about to kiss,"

You wince, but not saying anything about it as he continues.

"I had to take off your make-up, as usual. Then you wanted to kiss me but you were drunk, so I tried to politely refuse but you got all bratty,"

He's enjoying it, it's not that hard to tell considering he's amusingly grinning. "You told me my lips are only yours to kiss."

"Oh my god!" you exclaim, hiding your face away from him as he finally breaks and starts laughing.

"Do you remember any of it?"

"Yes to Taehyung, even though it's pretty hazy and I don't remember much from there. But I do remember uh," you gulp, "saying something about your lips."

"Yeah, you got very serious about it."

"Shut up," you glare at him right away. "I was drunk! You can't take me seriously!"

"Didn't know you wanted to kiss me so badly." he continues to tease you as you groan, searching for something around you to hit him with and Jungkook erupts into another fit of laughter.

"I don't," you grit through clenched teeth, "My drunk self gets cuddly and loves affection." you mutter, pouting as Jungkook scrunches his nose as he grins.

"I figured."

"Please just shut up," you beg him, "Where are you going?"

Jungkook smirks, your attempt of changing topic doesn't go unnoticed by him but he decides no longer to make you suffer.

"I'm working till four and then I'm gonna hang out with Ester."

"Oh," you let out surprisingly, "Okay."

"She's joining me on my last shoot, I want her to see how I work so we can, you know, do a better job when we work on that project,"

Ah, yes. The project Junho wanted Jungkook on. You're supposed to work on it in a month or so, the date going back and forth but not too much that it would cause any problems to Jungkook, due to his busy schedule. It's pretty unusual for him to be still home at this time – but not completely rare.

"What are you gonna do today?"

"There's not much I can do with a hangover," you snort, "I think I'm gonna spend the day with Taehyung until he decides to go home." you shrug as Jungkook nods while he continues eating.

In that moment Jungkook's phone starts to ring, interrupting your conversation even though there wasn't much to be said as his eyebrows furrow in curiosity while he pulls the phone out of the pocket of his jeans.

"It's Jimin," he says, looking at the screen before he accepts it and taps the screen, putting the phone on the counter between you two. "Hey, you're on speaker."

"Finally!" Jimin exclaims, "Who's there?"

"Hey, Jimin." you call out, letting your presence known as Jimin greets you back.

"Where the hell is Taehyung? I tried to reach out to him but his phone seems to be turned off." Jimin asks, while Jungkook leans forward against the counter with his elbows, brows raising up as he glances at you and grins.

You shake your head playfully, "Don't worry, he's here at Jungkook's. His battery probably died."

"Ah, typical of him. I should've known it's nothing serious but what is he even doing there, Kook?"

As Jungkook opens his mouth, awake Taehyung joins you in the kitchen as he recognizes Jimin's voice immediately, not that it matters because he glances at the screen either way to make sure it's really him.

"What's up, traitor." Taehyung greets Jimin, a beat of silence on the other side as you and Jungkook snort.

"Where the hell have you been, man? I was trying to reach you but apparently your battery is dead. Were you partying again?"

Taehyung purses his lips as he stares at the phone with raised brows, which you have to admit is kind of funny especially with his puffy and totally hangover face. At least this time he doesn't stink of alcohol and you can smell mouthwash whenever he opens his mouth – not that you were any different though.

"I was, indeed. We were actually, you know, us single people, although..." he trails off and gives you and Jungkook a look.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and you glare at Taehyung, silently telling him to shut up. Thankfully, he just grins back playfully at you, enjoying teasing the hell out of you and Jungkook. Jimin doesn't catch Taehyung's implication and just continues to burble that he just wanted to talk to him, but as if he knew Taehyung will open his big mouth and most likely call him out on his new relationship, he just casually says Taehyung to call him.

It looks like Jimin is not sure whether you and Jungkook know about his relationship – which you do thanks to the mentioned Taehyung's big mouth – and it is kind of amusing to see him playing it safe when all of you know the truth.

However, you would appreciate Jimin coming up to you and telling you when he wants to. Even though, in your opinion, it's not a big deal at all.

Their call ends shortly after, Jungkook has to go to work and you and Taehyung are left to deal with your hangover alone. Left to just simply wait until it passes away because there's nothing else you can do.

That's until Taehyung realizes he has never called into his work to tell them he's not coming today.

You have a great moment of laughing at the way he tries to fake sickness while he keeps flicking you off, glaring at you as he warns you to keep your mouth shut.

"Oh, you're awake,"

Surprised by Jungkook being wide awake, still lying in his bed while you tried to sneak-in into his bedroom to take some of your clothes, you expected him to be still asleep considering he starts working around lunch today.

The past two weeks have been pretty hectic for both of you, especially for Jungkook since he has barely been home and if he has, he spent it in his office anyway. There were a few times when you were falling asleep with him still editing photos in the room – something he always apologized for and tried to do his work quickly, so you could sleep peacefully. It doesn't matter how many times you assure it's okay and you don't really mind.

Yes, you prefer to sleep in complete silence and darkness, but there was something peaceful about the occasional clicks that lullabied you to sleep.

So the last thing you expected to see is him being awake at seven in the morning. Though his face is puffy and looking as if he has just woken up, he looks pretty awake for someone that can sleep a few more hours – you know you would.

Jungkook waves at you lazily, hoisting himself up so his back is leaned against the headboard.

"Sorry, I spilled my make-up on my pants and it doesn't match with my blouse, so I need to grab new clothes." you apologize, fully realizing you're just in a pair of underwear, completely exposed to Jungkook but you don't pay that much attention to it.

It's not like he has never seen you like this before. Yes, you don't usually walk around half-naked, that's his speciality, but you don't feel uncomfortable.

The office barely has space for your bed, so all of your clothes are actually in Jungkook's closet and drawers – that's why you often take your next day outfits to your room, so you don't have to barge into his bedroom every morning.

"No worries," Jungkook rasps out, voice tilted to more light and amused side. "I'm enjoying the view."

You straighten, suddenly realizing you've been a little bit bent over right in front of him, trying to search for one of your skirts you wear to work.

Giving him a look across your shoulder, you purse your lips and raise your brows at him, seeing him grinning at you widely with his eyes almost disappearing.

"Why are you awake anyway?" you ask, turning back around to search for your clothes. Luckily, you woke up a little bit earlier for some reason, so you've got some time to kill.

Where is the damn skirt? 

Met with silence, you turn your head around, enough to see Jungkook eyeing your ass with tongue slowly licking his bottom lip as you exclaim his name in disbelief.

"Couldn't sleep," Jungkook shrugs, eyes still attached to your backside. "Are those new panties?"

Sighing, you ignore him as you finally pull out the right skirt, tossing it at the end of his bed while you search for a top that matches.

"Since when do you wear a thong to work?"

Clenching your jaw, you turn around to him with a hand on your hip, raising your brows. "Sometimes, I do."

"Mhm," he hums, eyes momentarily on yours before they drop down your body. "Come join me in the bed." he says casually as you let out a surprised laugh.

"I'm going to work, Jeon. I don't have time for this."

"I can be quick."

"I know you can," you hum, "I don't want to be late."

You're not one to refuse sex, not when the last time you had it was a little over two weeks ago and you're too ashamed to admit that your friend was in the next room. Ashamed, but still kind of excited when you think about it. Like you said, those two weeks have been hectic and when you had the time, Jungkook was busy and even when there was a little time to chat, times where he would join you on the couch, you would rather spend that time catching up and just spending time together rather than having sex.

"Okay, so just stay bended for five minutes then,"

He says it so casually that if you weren't listening to him, you would have thought he's talking about the most casual and random thing.

Eyes almost falling out of their sockets, you stare at him in utter disbelief as you notice the sudden movements under the sheets. "Wait–are you touching yourself?!" you exclaim in disbelief, Jungkook rolling his eyes at your reaction as he shrugs.

"I woke up with a hard cock," he answers nonchalantly, "I'm serious, just bend over. I'm gonna have to at least settle with a good view."

He's serious, you realize as you see him touching himself right in front of you, eyes locked onto yours while you stare with your mouth open, too shocked to speak. But you shake yourself out of it, shaking your head at his bluntness while you ignore the starting tingle between your thighs. There's just something about him being so worked up, wanting to use you for the visual that makes your skin hot.

It's also a huge boost of confidence and maybe that's one of the reason sex with Jungkook is so good. No one has ever made you feel so confident and good in your own skin, especially when it comes to sex. Sure, you felt more confident with Haneul compared to Haechan, only because Haneul hasn't been that much experienced and everything you knew, learned from Jungkook and having sex with him, you used with him.

Jungkook hands slowly pumping his length under the covers, you gape at him as you snort a little, turning back to the closet as you pull out a white turtleneck, coming to a conclusion it matches well with your soft pink powder skirt.

Tossing it along with a hanger next to your skirt, Jungkook whines when you're turned back to him, robbing him from the previous side of your ass and the thong that barely covers you.

But you join him in the bed, your knees on the soft mattress as you start crawling to him which makes his eyes sparkle with hope.

"You're really shameless, you know that?" you ask, sending him a grin once you slowly pull the cover off his lower body, revealing his hand wrapped around his hard length.

Trying not to salivate at the sight, you nudge his hand away and quickly replace it with your own as Jungkook sighs in delight.

"So are you," he sighs pleasantly, closing his eyes with head leaning against the headboard. "Come on, get on my lap."

As tempting as that sounds, you refrain yourself from doing as Jungkook pleases, only because you know there's not much time you've got left. You can't afford to take a quick shower, knowing you most likely would be running late to work and Junho is already annoyed at you for not coming to work two weeks ago, when you were hungover – which he hopefully doesn't know but still, it would be just adding fuel to the fire.

"I can't," you tell him, wrapping your lips around his red tip as you gently suck on it, causing his breath to hitch. You look up at him, hand pumping him up and down as you lick your lips. "I've got work, we can't have sex."

Well, at least he's getting something out of it and he doesn't push it. You go back to work, working your lips and mouth on him again, trying to take him deeper into the warmth of your awaiting mouth.

"You, uh, you still haven't told me about what you wanna–"

"Do you seriously want to talk or get your dick sucked?" You cut him off, simply because you already know what he was about to say. You knew he wouldn't just let go of your previous conversation.

"Actually–"

But you don't get him a chance to finish his sentence, going straight for his balls as you know he loves, your mouth sucking on them while your wrist twists as you pump his hard cock. He curses under his breath, hand already wrapped around your hair as he puts it into a ponytail, tightening his hold on it.

"Fuck, you really are minx."

You smile against him, licking a long stripe up his length which glistens with your saliva .

"Are you sure you've got time for this?" he questions with a breathy chuckle, noticing you're not playing around and going right in with giving him a mindblowing blowjob.

Letting him out of your mouth with an audible pop, you glance up with a little smirk.

"I can be quick." you tease, seeing his lips curve into a familiar smirk before you continue.

"That's not fair–mhm, yeah fuck just like that."

You would snort if your mouth wouldn't be full of his cock. You just hope your make-up won't be ruined after this because even though you're not wasting any time, you're still careful enough not to gag around him or take him too deep which could make your eyes water. Jungkook seems pleased with what you're doing though, not really minding that he's not hitting the back of your throat because whatever you're doing right now, he's enjoying it.

And just when you think things can get any worse for you, considering the wetness between your thighs that's understandable and hard to ignore, Jungkook lets go of your hair and sneaks his hand under your bralette, palming your breast. You let out a sound, both of you not sure if it's to scold him or moan, Jungkook pinches your breasts which makes you whine around him.

Too ashamed to admit it, your heat is pulsing with need and desperation, and for a moment you wonder if you will risk it and let Jungkook have his way with you. Your responsible self is against it though, knowing you barely have the time to get to work just in time.

With your jaw already aching and your spit drooling down Jungkook length, you sneak your hand to his balls as you squeeze, knowing it will just fasten his orgasm. Jungkook breathing gets quicker, his own hips trying their best not to thrust into your mouth as you quicken your pace. A round of curses resound from Jungkook's mouth, a few words of him praising you how good you're taking his cock, he informs you he's close.

"Where do I cum?" he asks breathlessly, orgasm approaching every second. "You want it in your mouth?"

You hum in confirmation. Well obviously, you don't want to get your make-up ruined, you would tell him if your mouth wasn't full of him. And you definitely can't afford to feel his cum on your skin, knowing you would have to take a shower because there is no way you'll go to work with a sticky chest and dried cum on it.

"My little slut," Jungkook grits his teeth and if you weren't busy sucking him off, you would gasp at those explicit words you haven't heard in a while. Again, you feel your walls clenching around nothing and it takes a lot of restriction not to sit on his lap and ride him.

"Fuck."

And then your mouth is being filled with Jungkook's warm and salty cum, your mouth eagerly swallowing it as you slow down your pace, letting him sloppily thrust into your mouth while he fucks himself through the orgasm. Once he's done, he lets out another but loud pleased sigh, head thumping against the headboard.

Pulling his softening cock out of your mouth, your thumb catches some of his cum in the corner of your lips as you suck on your digit, swallowing it just in the right time as Jungkook glances at you.

"You're amazing."

"Of course I am," you cock a brow at him knowingly, grinning as you get off the bed. "Is my make-up ruined?" you ask, quickly gathering your clothes as you start putting them on.

Your lipstick has to be gone, considering most of it is painting Jungkook's cock. At least you chose a nude shade this time.

"No." Jungkook answers, grinning at you as you sigh while you start adjusting your turtleneck.

Quickly making your way to the bathroom to check your appearance, you gasp. He lied. Not only is your lipstick no longer on your lips, it's smeared on the right part of your cheek and your mascara is a little bit smudged. Well, you used to look worse and considering the intense morning blowjob you just gave him, you do look pretty decent. Just not decent to go to work like this.

"Jungkook!"

A sound of cackling is what you hear in return.

There's no time for scolding him, the time on your phone you quickly check shows you're already running a little bit late. You just hope you will manage to still come in time, not wanting to explain to Junho why you're running late. Not that you would tell him the truth of course.

Quickly yelling a bye to Jungkook after you get rid of the smudges and reapply your lipstick, you rush to work and luckily, the road hasn't been that busy which didn't make it even more difficult for you. You manage to arrive just in time which makes you relax.

It's only five minutes later when you sit behind your desk that you realize you never brushed your teeth or used a mouthwash after the blowjob, Jungkook's taste remaining on your tongue. When Benjamin offers you a coffee, you accept it with hot cheeks and a crooked smile.

Jungkook returns back home in the afternoon before you, tidying up the place even if there's not much to begin with. He takes care of the laundry, feeling bad that you've been taking care of it for the past few weeks since he's been too busy to do most mundane things. He's glad he could've gone to the gym for a good work-out at least twice in a week, which is way less frequent from what he's used to.

That's why he purposely scheduled today to be more free, and had only one photoshoot to do before he came back home.

Ironically, he feels more exhausted than he usually does when he's totally busy and constantly doing something productive. But just as he plops down on the couch, eyes searching for the remote to turn on the television, his phone starts to ring.

Jungwon. Well, that's unexpected.

"Hey, bro." His brother's voice resounds from the phone even before Jungkook can open his mouth, noticing he's video calling him.

"What's up, hyung?" Jungkook grins, noticing the background of their living room as his brother sits down.

"You never call, I have to be the one who reaches out to you," Jungwon teasingly scolds him, earning a playful roll of his eyes. "Mom whined about it too. You barely call them."

Jungkook winces at the mention of their parents. "I'm so busy with work, hyung. But I try to call her as much as I can."

"She misses you," Jungwon grins, not saying anything new because she misses him all the time and she tells him every time they call each other. "Me like a good son, told her that."

"Well, you, a good son, live in the same city. At least she has you close." Jungkook remarks, a guilt spreading on his face at the thought of his parents, and mostly mom, knowing she probably just misses talking to her son.

Jungwon notices it though, dropping his teasing as he gives Jungkook a warm smile. "You're her youngest son. Always been her baby." he teases again, causing Jungkook to groan and throw his head back, though there's a smile spreading on his lips.

"I will call her tomorrow."

"I know, I was just teasing you. She is dramatic sometimes."

They both share a laugh, knowing their mom gets super sentimental whenever it comes to her two sons, no matter how old they are. It's true it's been a few weeks since he called his parents, which is longer than usual, though the latest call he had with his mom was anything but pleasing. When Jungkook's mom kept asking about Kiko, inviting them to visit them soon he just had to tell her the truth. Well, a part of it and that is revealing they're no longer together, and this time it's final.

To say she was surprised is an understatement. She was happy when Jungkook told her they're back together, simply wanting what's best for her son and she thought it's her. Surely, he kept a lot of private things away from her which he's not sure if she knew how she would react. Like it was mentioned, she is sentimental and he didn't want to hurt her any further by knowing the raw and cruel truth. At least not through a phone call and to be completely honest, he's not sure if he wants to tell her. It's not something he has thought about a lot.

He prefers not to think about it too much, simply just distracting himself from the unnecessary thoughts.

But he told her and so did he tell Jungwon as well the last time they spoke. He was just as surprised, but ultimately they've all been very supportive and to Jungkook's luck, they weren't talking or asking about it too much which he appreciated.

"How are you guys though? How's Haru?" Jungkook asks, cutting himself from the thoughts as he notices his brother's soft smile at the mention of his precious daughter.

"We're good, that's why I'm actually calling you." Jungwon grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as Jungkook raises his brow at him in question, knowing he probably has an ulterior motive for calling him.

"What is it?"

"We're planning a trip to Seoul next weekend, we've never taken Haru there so now that she's older it's more fun because she experiences more things and it's fun for her too. I'm actually planning on surprising Sona and I made a reservation at this very nice restaurant, but you know, I wanted it to be romantic and just us. I know you work during weekends sometimes, but I was wondering if you couldn't babysit Haru for us?"

"Hyung!" Jungkook exclaims, Jungwon giving him another sheepish grin.

Obviously, Jungkook loves his niece and always buys her gifts whenever he sees her, something he gets scolded for by her parents. He loves spending time with her and he misses her, though the thought of actually babysitting her makes him feel a little unsettled. The only people who have ever babysat her were his parents or Sona's.

What if she cries the whole time? He hasn't seen her for months now, the only visual has been through video calling.

"Please, tell me you're free." Jungwon pleads.

"I am but--"

"Please help us. We have barely had time for just ourselves, I really want to take her out on a romantic dinner. I already made a reservation."

"What if she cries? What if she--"

"Jungkook-ah," Jungwon sighs, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Haru absolutely loves you and talks about you almost all the time. She's gonna be fine. So will you."

"I don't know hyung," Jungkook scratches the back of his head, scrunching his nose a little. "Where are you guys staying?"

"I found a good hotel. But the dinner reservation is around seven, I don't know how long we will be there but it's gonna be around Haru's past bedtime, so I would be very very very," Oh, no. "happy if she could stay a night over there. We will pick her up the first thing in the morning, I promise."

"It's not about that and you know it," Jungkook sighs, "What if she really misses you and starts crying or something?"

"Then you will call us and we will pick her up." Jungwon says casually as if it's the easiest thing.

And it is. He doesn't know why he's suddenly so nervous about babysitting his own niece whom he loves very much.

"Fine." Jungkook mutters, rolling his eyes playfully as Jungwon exclaims a loud "yes", thanking his younger brother as if he just saved his life.

He supposes that's what happens when you get married and have a child. There is barely any time for romance, Jungwon's face of happiness clearly says it all.

"No."

"Y/N, please!"

"Jungkook, I'm not a babysitter." you murmur, feet tiredly tapping against the floor as you make your way to the kitchen to get rid of your dry throat.

You've come home later than usual, you had to stay overtime with some of the co-workers, along with Yoongi who kept annoyingly showing his irritation every five minutes. Spending your day in heels for more than a half day, the last thing you expected was for Jungkook to jump at you as soon as you took off the annoying heels, trying to include you into something he promised to his brother apparently.

"But you love kids!" he exclaims, right at your heels as he follows you.

"I do," you nod, pulling out a bottle of water out of the fridge as you open the cap and take a short sip because of its coldness. "What if something happens? I don't want to be responsible for that."

"Nothing will happen," he assures you, "Come on, I thought you loved Haru."

"I do, she's cute," you argue, "But she doesn't even remember me. We were there last summer and ever since then I haven't seen her. How do you know if I don't have any plans for the weekend?"

You take a few gulps before you close the bottle and place it on the counter, met with Jungkook's stare.

"Well, do you?" He arches his brow at you as you purse your lips.

"I don't."

Jungkook scoffs, letting out a sigh as he slowly looks up at you. "Didn't you use to babysit? You've got to have some experiences."

His perseverance wants to make you laugh because this man never gives up.

"I did, back at home and it was a few years ago." you deadpan, causing him to sigh again as he slowly walks to you while you watch him warily.

"I could really use your help," he mutters, thumb wiping your undereyes where the mascara is a little bit smudged but you haven't got the time to see your reflection yet. It's been a long day. "Haru is sweet. She's not a spoiled kid, she's actually very calm and we'll have to babysit her just for a few hours because then it's her bedtime."

You stare into his dark orbs, finding them looking at you with those big eyes and a cute expression that makes you groan. It's not like you're against helping him or babysitting his niece. She really was cute the last time you've seen her.

"Fine." you roll your eyes, Jungkook clapping excitedly before you're wrapped by his arms, face pressed tightly against his chest.Who are you kidding? Of course you would agree one way or another.

[celestica-1988]

An headcanon for every Tokyo Revengers character. Some are funny, other are not.

Mikey favorite holiday is Halloween cause he can eat as many sweets as he wants and nobody can tell him shit.

Draken secretly wants to go to a spa with Emma. Draken babysits Toman, Emma takes care of the Sano household and they need to rest. He gets flustered if he thinks about sharing a bed with her or taking a bath together at the offsprings.

Baji feeds stray cats and others animals. Animals are naturally drawn to him for some reasons.

Chifuyu likes to watch TV programs of plane crashes. He dreams to be a pilot and he wants to learn how to avoid situations like the ones in the programs.

Takemichi started reading and watching thrillers in the hope they help him sharpen his ability to investigate

Kazutora still has nightmares of his father beating his mother.

Mitsuya keeps himself updated on what is popular amongs kids so he can sew cool things to his sisters like clothes or stuffed animal.

Hakkai is secretly learning Italian since he loves the Godfather series.

Taiju favorite film is Shark Tale.

Pahchin sleeps cuddling his dog.

Pehyan reads scientific books so he can came up with more witty come backs on Pahchin brain.

Angry is really loved by the elderly people in his neighborhood because he's always ready to help them in any way despite his grumpy face. One of the grannies taught him the perfect recipe for ramen.

Smiley is an hardcore naruhina shipper and won't hesitate to fight if someone insults his otp.

When Mucho saw Sanzu for the first time he thought he seemed like a stray cat. That's why he approached him with food aka cheesecake.

Sanzu would like to fix his relationship with Senju but he doesn't know how. Senju is always with Takeomi and he hates Takeomi. He's also scared that if he stops checking on Mikey, even for a second, something bad will happen to him and Shinichiro would have died in vain.

Kisaki has an album of pics of Hinata that he took when she didn't notice.

Hanma really loves movies with a lot of action and comments loud every scene of violence saying what he would have done instead if he was the protagonist.

Kokonoi talks about his days and his thoughts to a framed pic of Akane. He feels like she's still with him.

Inui plays guitar and he's interested in spiritism.

Izana throws darts to a Karen Kurokawa pic pinned on the wall because she ruined his life and his relationship with Emma and Shinichiro.

Kakucho shaves his hair by himself. He's not comfortable with people touching his scar.

Shion is unexpectedly good with children. He's a bit chaotic but overall a good babysitter.

Mochi is really good at cooking and he's proud of it.

Rindou started going to the gym because he was tired of being teased for his chubby cheeks. His guilty pleasure is eating Mac Donald food.

Ran loves 70s lamps, the one with bubbles that are moving up and down inside. They help him sleep.

South loves to dance Latin dances like samba, cha cha cha, rumba etc...

Wakasa has got some fishing trophies in his apartment.

Benkei appears as a tough guy but he loves to sleep with plushies.

Shinichiro has got an organizer that uses as his diary in which he writes his thoughts and notes all of his siblings birthdays.

Takeomi is always scolded by his relatives because of how he wasted his life, raised Haru to be a lunatic and ruined the relationship between Haru and Senju.

Hinata secretly trains in martial arts to help Takemichi, even though she knew he probably won't let her take part in a fight.

Emma often thinks at how good it would be if Izana lives with them. She wants him to have a family.

Yuzuha listen to heavy metal as a let out of her frustration for living with Taiju.

Senju sometimes wants to be adopted by Wakasa so she won't have Takeomi around and maybe Sanzu would visit her. She also hate Concordes.

[anonymous-dentist]

A Very Long qRoier Theory

Okay so here's what I actually think, and TRUST THE PROCESS OKAY:

I think that Roier really was kidnapped by the Federation, but I don't think that he was taken because he was looking for Cellbit strictly because the Feds themselves are actually more or less actively searching for the missing islanders and hoping for their return so they can continue the murder investigation. Despite the terrible things going on, the Feds legitimately want all their islanders/lab rats back on the island so they can continue with whatever experiment they're holding. Every time Cucurucho has held a meeting recently, it's asked about the status of the missing islanders, so it really wouldn't make sense for it or the Feds as a whole to punish their one single lead in the case when every actual Federation agent assigned to the case has either come up with nothing or disappeared entirely.

Nah, I think Roier was taken because he was vulnerable and because the Feds figured nobody would've missed him. They know that he isn't really super close with anybody on the island but Cellbit, and they know that he's been actively pushing people away for a while now- basically since Bobby's death, and moreso since his return from Purgatory.

Looking at the QSMP channel's streams, particularly Elena's, we know that the Feds seem to be a pharmaceutical company. They, simply speaking, make drugs. Look at the "happy pills" that Elena helped create, this is what the Feds do.

Roier mentioned that he was drugged. He never said that they stopped drugging him. I think he's still being drugged and that he isn't a rat- not a literal one, anyway.

I think that Roier is still under the effects of the drugs he's being given because he is currently a test subject. He's a lab rat.... at the moment, anyway.

More on that later.

Do I have any evidence for this? Not really, but also some things just didn't add up cinematically. Like, okay, go back and watch everything from after when Roier 'wakes up' in the dungeon:

Everything's got this weird otherworldly fuzziness and glow to it. It's almost dreamlike in a way. Only the focus of the world is, well, in focus. The rest is blurred like a bad 3D movie:

There are all these weird cuts and jumps, too, like 11:16 when we suddenly cut to black for a few moments as Roier goes down the hallway, or 12:13 when we smash cut to the rat and 12:16 when we cut to Cucurucho. It's super sudden and jarring and it sets up a real nice feeling of unease (shoutout to ccRoier, this is SPECTACULAR)

And the music, okay, the background music is exactly the kind of shit you'd hear in a 'Dreamcore Music Video' on YouTube. It's super Backrooms, super weird esoteric vibes, and that's very on purpose.

None of this is real, and "Doied" is the final proof because like. He isn't real lol, if he's real then so is Roger, and the only times either of them front are when Roier's goofing around or when he's extremely homicidal (we saw Roger pretty recently, actually, back in October when he said that Cellbit killing everyone might be a good thing, actually.) Doied isn't like Abueloier or Melissa, he's one of Roier's 'alters', and he's a bit of a freak lol

I think about everyone can agree that this whole 'Ratoier' thing is a hallucination, but then we have to think, huh, what the hell does any of this mean?

First, we gotta follow the whole 'Roier is Currently Super Drugged' thing, because he is. He literally is. If he's not, well, laugh at me when the next tape comes out.

Roier is drugged by the Feds right now probably to test a new drug, possibly a drug meant to- just like the Happy Pills- make people happy again. In this case, however, I think that the pills may actually have something to do with memories, particularly the same memory retrieval stuff the Resistance did to Bagi. Because, well.

I want to go back to the rat, and I want to go back to Doied, because this stream actually implied a LOT about qRoier's character.

The thing about Doied is that he's the manifestation of Roier's "Um, actually!" Nerd Emoji self. He's a nerd. He's a loser with glasses and a nasty attitude.

Doied, in the dream, is a scientist. Doied, in the dream, performed horrible, inhumane experiments for the Federation. He put Roier's brain into a rat's, a lab rat's.

Once a long, long time ago in August, Roier quietly came to the realization that maybe he has a past history with the Federation and that's why Osito Bimbo has always been so weird about him- it basically had a crush on him for the first week or so of the island, and it still seems to, and he is still the only one outside of Foolish the Federation Employee to be addressed directly by his train ticket number: 0037. He brought up the possibility of being a Federation worker in the past to Cellbit, who brushed it off and said that he wouldn't care because he's a worker, too, technically, but what if it isn't a possibility?

We've always wondered how Federation workers end up the way they do. Why are they all the exact same type of bear? Why does only Cucurucho get to have a face and a voice? Why do they all have human minds and emotions? Why are they all dedicated to the Federation?

Easy. Because maybe they were people before, just like how Bagi and several other islanders think they are. But maybe someone put their brains inside of an animal's body- or, at least, inside of a worker's body, God only knows if they were actual polar bears at some point. Somebody had to help come up with that technology, and maybe it's the guy who managed to build an entire computer and radio-satellite setup over the span of about a week in his goddamn backyard without anybody knowing about it.

Roier has always had some weird connection with the Federation. He's the only civilian islander to ever be addressed by his ticket number, and later we find out that Foolish's ticket number- 0039- is his Federation Employee ID Number- W0039. He was Osito Bimbo's favorite for the first week on the island to the point of Osito just giving him whatever he wanted. He and Jaiden were paired up for the Egg Event (something that was intentional, btw, admin confirmed), and it's later revealed that Jaiden has a past with the Federation regarding the SMILE Units (aka Osito Bimbo and Cucurucho and the new guys.) The "Gods" (aka the admins) will happily follow him around and revive him when he's alone and strike him with lightning when asked and give him dirt and whatever. He managed to get someone onto the island from off of the island, Abueloier, and Abueloier was saved from the brink of death by the Federation in the Federation's hospital. His literal pet dog is a Federation employee. He got to name Jorgito the IV Drip.

Doied put someone's brain into the body of a rat, and Doied is Roier's nerd self.

I think that Roier may, in fact, have a past history with the Federation, and that it isn't because his grandfather worked/works for them. Maybe Roier did, just like he suspected months ago, and maybe he did some really bad things. But they were excused at the time because the people being converted into workers were bad people who made mistakes. Roier made the mistake of breaking the rules trying to connect with Cellbit, and so he got turned into a rat. There's been a functional prison on the island for long enough for it to be partially abandoned (see: Tazercraft Prison Stream.) Walter Bob was held there, possibly because he was part of the Resistance, or possibly because he wasn't done cooking yet.

Roier has always been a man of justice. When people do bad things, they get punished, and then things can go back to normal. He ruined Quackity's life. He wanted Slime to be properly punished for killing Tilin and he threatened to murder him when he tried threatening the kids. He built an entire torture dungeon in his basement for the explicit purpose of torturing Spreen to the point of death repeatedly and possibly for the rest of Spreen's miserable life. Cucurucho took Bobby away, and Roier said that the Federation would regret putting and keeping him on the island. Pozolito the Capybara blew Cellbit up, and Roier has literally tried killing every Capybara he's seen since. The Federation screwed with his family and with himself, and Roier is more than happy to join Cellbit in massacring the entire Federation.

He's a man of justice, but not of morals. He's a ruthless killer when it comes down to it, and he only shows regret when it comes to his husband's deaths during Purgatory. He doesn't fight unless he has to, but he's been thinking about killing everyone on the island since the first week of the server when he was betrayed. But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't actually want to hurt anyone he cares about. It's why Purgatory fucked him up so much.

His moral alignment actually matches up pretty well with several other Federation workers'- particularly workers like Elena and Fred who are nice but are willing to do terrible things in the name of their cause. The difference here is that Roier has had the same privilege that workers like Walter Bob and Ron got: he got a chance to socialize.

He doesn't have memories from before the island, but he remembers enough about his childhood to be a little suspicious.

But what if these drug-induced hallucinations are actually hints to Roier's backstory? What if it wasn't Doied running all these terrible experiments for the Federation, but it was Roier? Just a guy acting under the belief that he was making the world a better place, punishing criminals (aka rule breakers) while helping the Federation's cause: finding true happiness and spreading it to the world.

The Eye said that everybody in Purgatory was a sinner, and maybe Roier's sin was some mad scientist bullshit.

The dream today, Tape 1, had Roier being punished. Maybe it's because that's what he did as a scientist to new employees, or maybe it's because of his own guilt over everything he's done; remember, the reason he stopped smiling in Purgatory wasn't because he was killing his friends (because he's thought about killing his friends for a VERY long time), but it was because he killed Cellbit, and then it was because he left Cellbit behind to die. That's why the dream specified Cellbit's lost signal and not, say, Jaiden's, and it's why all the cool cinematic landscape shots focused on either Roier himself or Cellbit.

If my prediction is correct, Tape 2 would have Roger instead of Doied. So we'll see what happens then, I guess. Roger, who represents Roier's anger and his various homicidal tendencies.

Fit said that everybody was on the island for a reason, and Roier has been cooking for a long time now. Maybe qRoier is just like qJaiden: a former Federation associate.

TLDR; qRoier is currently hallucinating due to him being a Federation lab rat. His drug-induced dreams may be implying that Roier has a past within the Federation as a scientist completing the same experiments that "Doied" did in the dream to Roier.

But that's just a theory, a Game Theory. Thank you for reading.