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cristalconnors · 3 years

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TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet.

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow?

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career.

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward.

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it.

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine?

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either.

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too.

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world?

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay.

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want.

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usagichibamamorutsukino · 4 years

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To all of the Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask Haters

This is my post on the Sailor Moon subreddit! I am very proud of the arguments I made and am extremely thankful for the amazing response I got! I got Reddit Gold for the first time in my life! I’m sharing it today here on my Tumblr, the place where I have found a wonderful niche of Tuxedo Mask and Usamamo lovers like me! Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sailormoon/comments/d0zm4c/to_all_of_the_mamorutuxedo_mask_haters/

Here is my post:

Hi everyone! I wanted to share my comment on a video interview of the Viz dub voices for the Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon Crystal anime, Stephanie Sheh (Usagi), and Robbie Daymond (Mamoru). The interviewer talked about why she believes it's justified to hate Tuxedo Mask and why he isn't right for Usagi. The topics I covered in my initial comment are included here in greater detail. I am basing my response below on: the manga, the original 90's anime and its 3 movies, Sailor Moon Crystal, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, interviews with Naoko Takeuchi, articles that analyze the storylines and utilize fact-checking references, as well as my interpretation and analysis that bases itself on the cannon and overall understanding of the portrayal of the human characters and interactions in the story.

Obligatory note: You are entitled to your own opinion as I am entitled to my own. However, I feel obligated to voice my opinion and defense for Tuxedo Mask as he gets so much hate in the fandom, and there is so much misinformation about him. There are so many posts and articles trying to prove that Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru is definitively a horrible character, that he sucks, he is useless, etc. It is one thing to have your opinion. It is another to be so vocal about your hatred for a character basing your hatred on misinformation and superficial arguments.

In my lengthy post, I will discuss specific topics and arguments that people bring up to defend their hatred of Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru and his relationship to Sailor Moon/Usagi. I hope you enjoy reading and gain some perspective.

In the original anime, Usagi and Mamoru didn't have any feelings or love for one another UNTIL they remembered their past lives

I rewatched Season 1 of the original anime this past week and took notes of each encounter between Usagi and Mamoru until they remember their past lives. I analyzed their dialogue, how the animators portrayed their body language around each other, as well as how they talk about one another to other characters. Let’s begin our study by reading this quote from the manga in Act 10 when Usagi recounts that in her encounters with Mamoru: “I would get defensive, and we would get into a fight. We actually never had a real conversation. But the truth is… I was always so excited and happy to see him. That’s why we ran to each other… isn’t it? The two of us were drawn to each other.”

In the 90s anime, Usagi and Mamoru have an initially confrontational relationship. Mamoru’s first impression of Usagi was of a girl who hit him on the head with a crumbled-up test with a horrifying grade. Usagi’s first impression of Mamoru was a guy who told her she should study more; she was mortified and embarrassed by this, so she stuck her tongue out at him and walked away, disregarding him as a “weirdo”. The second time they bump into each other, Usagi throws a shoe at his head by accident, and she doesn’t apologize. The third time they meet, they bump into one another when Usagi is dreaming about “her future boyfriend.” She mistakenly apologizes to a pole, and Mamoru finds this funny and says that she should watch where she is going. Naru asks Usagi if she knows who that guy is, as he is “totally gorgeous” and Usagi responds “Wrong! There is nothing gorgeous about him!” By the 5th and 7th episodes, when Mamoru sees Usagi, he goes up to her and says, “Hey!” like they were friends. At the end of their conversation in Ep. 7, when Usagi walks away annoyed, we pan back to Mamoru, who is smiling at her genuinely. Through all of these interactions, Mamoru and Usagi go from strangers who are annoyed by each other’s existence to people who run into each other so often that Mamoru can find some humor in it.

You have to consider that Mamoru is acerbic since he is becoming Tuxedo Mask without his knowledge, is sleep deprived, has retrograde amnesia, and barely has anyone in his life who truly cares about him. He meets this girl who has hit him on the head, has bumped into him and has been rude to him on multiple accounts, of course, he’s going to return Usagi’s comments. But as he spends more time around her group, the teasing becomes well-meaning. Usagi shows that she values his advice, such as in Ep. 17 and when she is deciding if telling Naru about Nephrite's evil doings is a good idea or not. Usagi was visibly jealous of Rei’s crush on Mamoru and her three outings with him. Mamoru brought up "Bunhead" when Rei stopped him on the street to ask him out. He mentioned "Usagi" when talking to Motoki when the conversation wasn't about her but rather about Makoto. She's on his mind from early on.

There is a fantastic post that also discusses some of the points of evidence that Usagi and Mamoru had crushes on one another before they remembered their past lives, https://aminoapps.com/c/sailor-moon/page/blog/my-thoughts-on-mamoru-and-usagi/eYX5_MMdI3udVa3xwNvqExdKarRMM0xGlrm . One of my favorite observations is this: "Mamoru mostly teased her about her love life. When we look at what a person mostly tease someone about, it can give us an idea about their true intentions behind it. Mamoru teased her about romance-related things quite a few times, saying she wouldn’t get a boyfriend if she weren’t more lady-like, teasing her about Motoki twice, and her 'not-so-date' with Umino (it really wasn’t though). Not to mention when Motoki asked Mamoru why he always treated Usagi like that, Mamoru says, 'I guess we weren’t meant for each other.' " Also, in reply to this post, u/Rockabore1 made a fantastic analysis regarding the deeper meaning behind Usagi and Mamoru's teasing in the beginning:

"I love that you point out all the nuance in the way Mamoru and Usagi's relationship grew from roasting each other to realizing they care about each other and actually love being around each other. When they met, neither were really emotionally mature enough at that point to figure out an excuse to spend time together, and they kept using teasing each other as a reliable way to do it. I talked to another redditor about a scene that strikes me as a very multilayered in that regard. In episode 17, since when Mamoru talked about qualities, make a girl beautiful after Usagi feels discouraged to meet with the photographer. He describes 'someone with a kind-heart and bravery to do the right thing even when it's hard to do.' He says it with a directness like he means it as 'I see these qualities in you.' Yet he plays it off by saying, 'Obviously, you lack those qualities,' in a challenging way. I read it as him giving her the determination to try and prove him wrong because he knows she's not a quitter. Usagi went to the arcade to get Motoki to boost her ego, which she knew he would since he's always supportive, and Motoki's platitudes made her happy but didn't inspire her, whereas, Mamoru challenging her was what pushed her to actually go out and prove it. When she leaves, Motoki notes how the two always bicker, and Mamoru seems to half-heartedly lament that things always turn into an argument when they see each other and that 'I guess we're not meant to be.' It seems like he's admitting that he doesn't know how to give her a compliment without feeling silly or embarrassed to act like a softie, and he doesn't know how they could change (which obviously they do, but at the time both were really stubborn)."

In Ep. 28, they already demonstrate to the viewer that they have crushes on each other. Usagi, sitting next to him, thinks to herself, “but hey, he does look pretty handsome," then out loud, she says, "Oh geez, what am I thinking stop it Usagi, Tuxedo Mask is the only one I love!” He looks at her, and when she looks away embarrassed, he smiles at her. At the end of the episode, when Usagi says that their painting came out beautiful, Mamoru says, “I’d say it looks pretty good considering who the model was…” and his eyes immediately shot at USAGI! But she thinks he’s talking about himself, so she reacts annoyed. And in the last episode of the first season, when everyone gets their memory erased, Mamoru smiles genuinely after meeting Usagi. This encounter was just like the first one they had at the beginning of the series and similar to their third encounter as well. His reaction could very well have been the reaction he had after meeting her for the first time, but we, the viewers, didn’t get to see it. They had an attraction to each other from the start. Usagi felt that she made two horrible first impressions on Mamoru and even though she obviously found him attractive (as she later states on countless occasions), she felt that “this is an attractive guy I would’ve had a crush on now thinks I’m a ditz, so I’m going to treat him like I don’t care about him.”

Mamoru is someone who came from an upbringing with little attachment and has been pursued for his looks and wealth for presumably a long time. Think about how many characters and villains have hit on him. How Motoki told Rei that he lives in an expensive apartment all alone because of his inheritance, and her eyes lit up. Usagi probably is the only girl who isn’t fawning over him when they meet and instead is capable of sparing jokes at each other’s expense. His way of showing his attraction is not the best, but Usagi isn’t perfect either. I also noticed how, when Rei bumped into Mamoru in a ploy to ask him out, he acted concerned for her falling down for a moment, asked if she was alright and went on his way. Rei stopped him again, and he reluctantly stuck around for coffee. Meanwhile, every time Usagi bumps into him, he sticks around for a bit to tease her and get teased back. Why did Mamoru go out of his way to spend more time with "the annoying Bunhead” than he needed to? He even goes up to her to spar and teases her, and she reciprocates too.

At the end of Rei's first "date" with Mamoru, she tells Usagi that Mamoru is probably Tuxedo Mask, Usagi says that there's no way that he could be. Mamoru asks, "huh, who is Tuxedo Mask?" like he’s genuinely curious after Usagi noted the comment about Tuxedo Mask. Umino interrupts and asks Usagi to continue their own “date,” Mamoru says, “uuu, so that’s your type, huh?” in a flirty manner. This implies, "oh, so that's why you act like you don't like me. I'm not your type." Usagi is embarrassed and blushing during this whole encounter. Later, in Ep. 30, when Yuichiro and Rei are hitting it off, Usagi is ecstatic about getting them together. Rei tells her, "you know Mamoru is my guy, so what are you trying to pull here?" Usagi blushes embarrassed, her crush on Mamoru is obvious, her jealousy of Rei is evident. Even Ami starts to see this in Ep. 31 where Rei excuses herself from a Sunday outing with the girls for a "date," Ami tells this to Usagi while nervous, knowing Usagi will react annoyed at the thought of Rei going on a date with Mamoru. However, on Mamoru's part, he never took the outings with Rei seriously. He saw her as more of a friend while she was the one pursuing him to go with her on “dates.” Also, when talking with Motoki about the girls, he seemingly got really nervous at the thought of Rei “liking” him as more than a friend. After he realizes that he is Tuxedo Mask and realizes his strong connection with Sailor Moon and the princess to who appears to him in his recurring dream, he basically stops interacting with her altogether. In fact, in this same episode I just mentioned, Rei calls Mamoru to ask him out on a date but is met with his voice mail. We pan to Mamoru in the balcony of his apartment, ignoring Rei's voice message and instead of thinking about how he is determined to get the last rainbow crystal to find the legendary silver crystal and recover his lost memories.

Who can forget episode 34, where Usagi and Mamoru discovered each other's secret identities. Usagi recognizes Mamoru walking along the Juban Shopping District; she playfully hits him on the back, “Hey there, how you doing guy?” He grunts in pain. She genuinely asks him, "What’s wrong?" He responds, “Oh, hey Bunhead, you're sure cheerful today.” Usagi: “Well, excuse me then, it just so happens that I am a cheerful person all of the time!” and sticks her tongue out, as she does. He responds with a smile, “I hope you’ll always be that way. Take care, okay?” and walks away, holding his shoulder. Usagi reacts, confused, “What’s with him? He isn’t acting like himself.”, and notices his shoulder is hurt, “Could he be hurt in some way?” Mamoru probably thought he was going to die in the battle with Zoisite; he was also depressed about not being able to protect Sailor Moon, in what Mamoru thought was his last time seeing Usagi, he was kind and told her that she should always remain her cheerful self. Worried, she follows him. When he discovers this, he is genuinely surprised that she was worried about him. Mamoru didn't have anyone in his life who worried about him. In the iconic elevator ride, he genuinely opens up to her. He tells her about his past, his recurring dream, why he is looking for the silver crystal, things he hasn't told anyone else before. When she tells him, “You know what? Before, I thought you were the worst person in the whole wide world. But not anymore, now you’re the second worst.” The way Mamoru looked at her as she blushed saying that, the way he prioritized Usagi’s safety over the rainbow crystals, the way he pushed her out of the way from falling icicles, the way he looked at her when he saw his Bunhead transform into THE Sailor Moon, the way he looked at her when he pulled out that rose and turned into Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru and Usagi fell for each other long before they discovered they were Serenity and Endymion. Sure, it's not as explicit and cinematic as how it is portrayed in the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal. But their attraction is there. They are on each other's minds from early on.

The way the writers developed their relationship is actually genius. By the moonlight, Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon flirt, and he calls her smart and beautiful, and he believes in her leadership and talent as a superhero. Meanwhile, by daylight, Mamoru and Usagi bicker like a married couple. It's like Lois Lane falling in love with Super Man but dismissing Clark Kent. The dialogue they share, their body language, how others notice their connection goes a little further than they realize; I recommend that you rewatch Sailor Moon Season 1 and the first arc of Sailor Moon R (Makaiju) and notice how Usagi and Mamoru act around each other and how their feelings for one another develop. It's there as clear as day, and honestly, it's one of the reasons I love Sailor Moon. It's the best story ever told. Heck, even the intro song is from Usagi's perspective, singing about her miracle romance with Mamoru.

I think the most notable difference between Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in Season 1 and Season 2 is that Usagi is much nicer to him in Season 2. As a result, Mamoru is much friendlier to Usagi. This, in turn, provides heartwarming moments between them, such as when they took care of a baby, their first “date” at the arcade, Mamoru’s sigh of relief when Usagi shows up to interrupt Natsuki’s incessant flirting, his blushing when Usagi called herself cute and when he thought Usagi was on a date with Seijuro, as well as many more moments between them. The reason Usagi treats him much nicer is because, at the beginning of Season 2, Usagi remembered her previous lives, she remembered who Mamoru is, his personality, what they went through, how he puts himself in danger to protect her, how he died for her, and most of all, she remembered why she fell in love with him. It becomes her mission to get Mamoru to remember who she is, what they’ve endured together, and how they fell in love. The Makaijju arc serves as a retelling of their love story, as Mamoru falls in love with Usagi all over again. This happens gradually; he starts to see how this Bunhead girl went from someone who is rude to him to someone who enjoys his company, cares about others, brave, fun to be around, and is a kind friend. When they are both captured by the Makaiju tree, Mamoru asks Usagi if she is alright and reaches out to hold her hand. When he and Sailor Moon are being thrown and flung around the room, he holds on to Usagi/Sailor Moon’s hand even though this aggravates their antagonists more, causing them to inflict more pain on them. He jumps in front of Sailor Moon to protect her near-fatal blows, as she did for him, because in Usagi’s words: “I’m willing to risk my life in order to protect anyone I truly love.” At this moment, Mamoru had already fallen in love with Usagi again. It wasn’t until he felt the same love he had felt in his past lives that his consciousness, the Moonlight Knight, returned his memories. Therefore, he fell for Usagi before he remembered their past lives. His undying need to protect her literally took physical form as the Moonlight Knight. This proves that Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because she is Serenity and because of destiny, but because he genuinely loves Usagi. The cutest part of this moment was Mamoru waking Usagi up after the battle, and calling her his little Bunhead Usagi Tsukino.

Many people argue that he fell for Sailor Moon and settled for Usagi once he found out they were the same person. It is undeniable that Tuxedo Mask felt strong feelings for Sailor Moon since he could sense when she was in danger and felt this urge to protect her. However, Tuxedo Mask made an enemy of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Senshi when it came to finding the rainbow crystals. In The Shining Silver Crystal, Mamoru and Usagi are confronted by Zoisite, who demands that Mamoru surrender his own rainbow crystals so that they can fight, and the winner takes all. Mamoru tells Zoisite that he will do so only if he promises not to harm Usagi and let her go. This was BEFORE he knew that she was Sailor Moon. He prioritized Usagi’s safety over his unwavering personal mission of finding the silver crystal. He didn’t do this for Sailor Moon; he did this for Usagi.

One of the most important arguments, if not, the most crucial evidence for the validity of Usagi and Mamoru’s love for one another is why they fell in love and if it is merely because of destiny, as many skeptics online cite this as the only reason Usagi and Mamoru are together because they feel obligated to stay together due to past in the Silver Millennium and “destiny.” I found a fantastic essay series by Sailor Moon and Me, all about studying the dynamics of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship to ultimately answer if they truly love one another in the original 90’s anime. You can find the whole series here; I highly recommend you read it! https://sailormoonandme.tumblr.com/post/93343451085/usagi-and-mamoru-essay-series-contents-page-and

In conclusion, the author writes: “Would Usagi and Mamoru have wound up together if they had not regained their memories from their past lives? If given the right opportunities to get to know each other better, almost certainly yes. And those opportunities would’ve probably presented themselves somehow because their past lives/destiny would’ve been influencing them. Remember, they even met as children. Were they obligated to be together because of their past lives? Not exactly. Their past lives guided them and influenced them, but the personality traits that Serenity and Endymion found attractive in one another were present in Usagi and Mamoru and was likely what they’re modern-day incarnations found attractive too. In particular, these traits were on display as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask and Usagi and Mamoru already effectively loved one another in through those identities anyway.” The author highlights a key aspect, the reason Usagi and Mamoru have fallen in love over and over again: they find each other’s personality traits attractive! Earlier in the essay series, the author brilliantly proves how, in the anime, Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask and Endymion act in the same way, as well as Usagi/Sailor Moon and Serenity. They are the same people, so if they fell in love during the Silver Millennium, they can fall in love again for the same reason, they like each other’s personalities!

Mamoru's breakup with Usagi

In the anime, after they finally get together during Sailor Moon R, he finally feels like he’s not alone. Then he gets these visions prophesizing that the woman he loves will die if he continues to be with her. He struggles with what to do; he just found someone who completes him, who gave him his lost memories and the meaning of his life. Who saw the best in him and believed in him even after him being brainwashed and soul strangled by the evil Metalia. He knows the pain that he’s caused her. He still has memories of being under Metaria's evil magic. He realized how possessed he was, enough to attempt to behead Usagi without question. He just learned that continuing to be a part of her life could put her in grave danger. He doesn’t take this lightly and breaks up with her because he thought he would protect her.

Mamoru thought that HE, HIMSELF, was the danger to Usagi. That's why he tried to get her to hate him. Even I initially judged the breakup arc as a victim of "bad writing" for Mamoru and Usagi's relationship. A few lines littered over a few episodes are unfortunately very negative coming from Mamoru's part. I cannot defend them when taken out of context. I am disappointed that the writers decided to include those few lines since they don't even correlate to Mamoru's character growth and overarching character arc over five seasons.

Furthermore, from his part, these comments are blatant attempts to portray himself as a despicable person, so Usagi would forget about him and move on. He thought that by getting Usagi to hate him, she would distance herself from him and be saved from the horrible fate he kept seeing in his nightmare. Many people use this as "evidence" that Mamoru "didn't love Usagi," and that he is a "horrible person." It is very easy to judge a guy breaking up with a girl as wonderful as Usagi and being so cold towards her. However, when you see Mamoru realize that marrying Usagi will cause her immediate death and that his only way of protecting her from this doom is to break up with her, he already hates himself. To provide more perspective of how this impacted him when he meets King Endymion in the future and realizes he was the one prophesying Usagi's death if Mamoru continues to be with her, Mamoru charges at him with anger.

There is no logical reason that Mamoru would willingly choose to make Usagi suffer. Why would he purposely put the only person he considers his family and his soulmate through so much pain and suffering. The breakup is as hard on him as it is on Usagi. This is clearly seen in Ep. 69, at the end, when he is crying by his motorcycle. He should’ve told Usako the truth about the dream. But she beats him to it in a later episode, and they decide to take control of their lives and be together, instead of believing in the nightmare. She was the one to believe in the strength of their love and do the right thing. Thanks to this arc, they learned that together they are unstoppable. Mamoru learned to trust Usagi wholeheartedly and to trust himself, as he felt that HE was the danger in her life. After the revelation that the messages from King Endymion were to test Mamoru's love for Usagi, even Mamoru realizes he made a horrible decision to lie to Usagi and hurt her the way he did. He realizes how dumb he was and latches on to Usagi and never lets her go again.

Furthermore, to provide a silver lining to the breakup arc, we have further evidence of just how much Mamoru loves Usagi. If he didn't love her, as so many people in the fandom like to claim, the breakup was his way out. But he didn't just up and leave. He hated that he had to be apart from Usagi. He truly loves her with all of his heart. He never once stopped calling her Usako. He never stopped being in awe of Sailor Moon's power, calling her invincible when talking about her to Chibiusa. He continued to help her and the Sailor Senshi in battle. He dreamt about marrying her; he imagined her face reflected on rivers; when he continued to run into her after the breakup, he was solemn realizing that it is fate that keeps making them meet.

This breakup isn’t my favorite part of the season at all, but it provides real character development and allows us to explore Mamoru’s fears and heartache. You see Usagi gets heartbroken, but she doesn't lose faith; she doesn't stop believing in Mamoru and love; she still has her circle of friends and family to fall back on. Mamoru had no one. Usagi was the only one he let in his heart. In the Sailor Moon R movie, he tells Usagi that his years of loneliness were worth it because he found her, and that she is his family. For years, Mamoru had the same dream about a princess who pleaded to him “find the silver crystal, find the silver crystal.” And this princess ended up being a real person! The girl with the weird hair he kept running into, Bunhead, Usagi, Usako! Are we internalizing how insane that is? To have literally no memories before your sixth birthday, to not remember your parents, to be an orphan with no family or close relationships, to have a recurring dream that wakes you in a cold sweat about the same person every time that pleads that you find this mysterious crystal you know nothing about? It’s insane. Of course, Mamoru has trouble with interpersonal relationships in the beginning. It’s thanks to Usagi’s constant love towards him and their growth as a couple that he becomes a kinder and more trusting person as the series goes on. Mamoru's connection to Usagi is so much deeper than the anime lets on at surface level. Mamoru went from someone who has had his memory stolen already three times, to someone who has finally found the love of his life, who was no longer alone, to someone who was forced to break his soulmate's heart and be pushed back to loneliness.

I recommend this great article that talks more about the breakup and Mamoru's perspective! http://starlight.csmalecki.com/reads/breakup.php

Mamoru's relationship with Chibiusa

On that note, of course, Mamoru felt a connection to Chibiusa. He was an orphan with no family, he finds this little kid all alone, of course, he is going to feel an urge to help her feel less alone. He connects with Chibiusa because he sees Usako in her; because he no longer has anyone else to fill the void of loneliness. Mamoru and Chibiusa are some of the characters that carry the underlying theme of loneliness in the Sailor Moon story. Chibiusa saw Mamo as someone who reminded her of her dad, and for a little girl who feels helpless and is separated from her parents, utterly alone in this strange world where she doesn't know who to trust, it is reasonable for her to latch onto him. She sees these people who look like her parents and Sailor Senshi back home but behave nothing like them. Mamoru is one of the few characters who is continuously nice to her and there for her; logically, she would want to be around him. There is an excellent article that talks about Chibiusa's "Electra Complex," I highly recommend you read it: https://shojopower.com/beautiful-like-you-black-ladys-uncomfortable-electra-complex/. Basically, it concludes that Chibiusa's "Electra Complex" is NOT sexual desire for her father but instead not being able to relate to her mother, "The Electra Complex is less about a daughter’s sexual desire for her father, but much more about the relationship between daughter and mother; the female child and her best friend." Once Chibiusa becomes Black Lady, her innocent feelings of love and attachment towards Mamoru get exploited and tainted and manifest as "sexual" attraction. But in reality, once Chibiusa can relate to Usagi, her "Electra Complex" is resolved, and Black Lady is defeated.

Tuxedo Mask is "useless."

What a double standard. Just because he is a man, he has to be the Batman or Spider-Man of the story? It’s called Sailor Moon. She is Wonder Woman; he is Steve Trevor. Tuxedo Mask exists to help Sailor Moon and support her, but Sailor Moon is the protector of the universe. The story is all about her and her fellow Sailor Senshi. It’s a female empowerment story; if you think that a male character is “useless” because he isn’t the one saving the day, you are missing the point. Tuxedo Mask has physically aided the Senshi in combat on countless occasions.

Furthermore, during numerous battles, if Tuxedo Mask had not shown up to shoot a single rose, Sailor Moon and the Senshi would have been goners. He utilizes his knowledge of physics and math during battles and is capable in hand to hand combat, as well as a formidable swordsman. In the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal, he has his own super-powered attack, Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber. Even cooler, he has a combined attack with his daughter, Pink Sugar Tuxedo Attack. He takes the place of Sailor Earth and Sailor Sun, as he possesses the golden sailor crystal. Concerning Earth, he recognizes it as his guardian planet and can "see" what the Earth feels. Concerning the sun, Takeuchi made him a Leo, a constellation related to the sun, also, when he dies, Nehellenia states that he is "The Prince of Earth, protected by the Sun."

He buys the Senshi time to power up for their Sailor Planet attack; he's freed them from traps from where they can't escape alone, he distracts villains and disables them with supernaturally strong rose darts, allowing the Senshi to give the finishing blow. I have to note; his aim is deadly. His rose darts took down Queen Beryl and Fiore, as well as others. He doesn't leave the scene until he sees the situation is under control and that the girls can handle it from there. In his dying words during the Stars arc, he proclaims that the Senshi will stop Galaxia, that she doesn't stand a chance. He believes in each of the Senshi's strengths and gives them useful advice that they apply to the situation and helps them succeed. In the story, his character supports female heroes and helps them do their best. As a female, I feel completely empowered and inspired by Sailor Moon/Usagi, by each of the Senshi and the story in general. It is rare to see female superheroes kicking butt, in a world of countless Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man movies and a less than a handful of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel movies. A male superhero in a female superhero driven story is not "useless," they simply aren't the star of the battle, and there is nothing wrong with that.

The consensus is that Usagi's kidnapping by Prince Demande is straight-up assault and absolutely repulsive from Demade's part. And rightfully so, Usagi, in tears being grabbed and forced to kiss him is horrible and uncomfortable to watch. Compare this moment to Mamoru's kidnappings. He has been objectified and kidnapped by countless villains in the story. How is this different from Usagi's kidnapping? He is forced to kiss his own daughter possessed by evil, pinned against a wall by Fish's Eye trying to get a kiss from him while he is explicitly rejecting this and saying no, was submitted to bodily possession by Metaria's dark magic on two occasions with Queen Beryl (who is obsessed and infatuated with him) doing who knows what to his unconscious body. I could go on and on, Fiore, An, Mio Kuroki; there are many occasions where Mamoru has been objectified, kidnapped, and assaulted. It is disturbing that so many people interpret this as "weakness" from Mamoru's part. These assaults and objectification are against his will. A man who has been through these horrible experiences is NOT weak. Please don't contribute to this harmful double standard. A person being assaulted is a victim, regardless of their gender.

Finally, in the first episode, when Sailor Moon is crying because she doesn't know how to fight the monster terrorizing her best friend, Tuxedo Mask appears to her and tells her "Sailor Moon, crying won't solve anything." Taken at face value, this comment is bewildering since, in that scenario (and another battle scenario in Sailor Moon SuperS), her crying became ultrasonic and incapacitated her enemies. But this comment goes further, this comment sets the tone for Usagi's series-long journey into maturing and getting over her crying habit; this is part of Sailor Moon’s character development. This personal growth is highlighted in Ep. 74 when Usagi decides to face Rubeus alone to save her friends. She reflects on how, before she would've been a total crybaby if she had to go by herself to defeat a villain, she is amazed at how far she has come emotionally. She realizes that truthfully, "crying won't solve anything." As the seasons go on, her being a self-proclaimed crybaby is still used as a point of comedy, but in the moments of real desperation, she handles herself with maturity and bravery. So, ultimately, she valued what Tuxedo Mask said to her the first time they met.

Usagi and Mamoru's age gap

One of the biggest points of misinformation in Sailor Moon is Mamoru and Usagi's age difference and the legality of their relationship. Mamoru Chiba is 17. At the start of the manga, Takeuchi intended for Mamoru to be as young as 16. Usagi Tsukino starts the story as 14, but she actually isn’t 14 for very long. The Japan school semester begins in April, and her birthday is in June. This means that Seasons 1-3 happen pretty quickly. Therefore the age difference between Mamoru and Usagi isn’t that drastic at all. Furthermore, the fact of the matter is, Mamoru behaves older than he is. Why? He has had to mature very early on in his life. He has had to take care of himself for presumably a long time. Usagi has the perfect nuclear family and at the start of the series and is rather immature. She matures as the series goes on because of her responsibilities as a guardian and protector of the galaxy. At face value, it's easy to judge Mamoru and Usagi's relationship as one with a significant age gap. However, this isn't the case. 2-3 years of age difference is not outstanding at all and in Japan even less so. They are both above the age of consent of 13 and are still both teenagers. Even in the original anime, many scripts list Mamoru as a 17-18-year-old college student, and Usagi becomes 15 early on in the series timeline. He is shown to be extremely intelligent, so being a 17 year old in college is absolutely plausible. An important point to address, he is shown driving a car when the minimum driving age in Japan is 18. However, Haruka is 16 and drives a car and even a helicopter. I’m not losing any sleep over the fact that Mamoru could be driving a car before he is 18.

People argue that if Mamoru were precisely the same age as Usagi, the "problems" would be "fixed." But like I stated earlier, Mamoru behaves more mature because he was forced to be independent and self-sufficient from a very early point in his life. Even at 14, Mamoru would appear and behave much more mature than Usagi does. He is still obviously immature in how he deals with his crush on Usagi. When Takeuchi wrote the story about Serenity and Endymion, she was basing herself on medieval romance stories where the lovers are many years apart in age. Hence, the age gap was intentional in that aspect. Again, as I stated previously, 2-3 years of age difference is hardly noteworthy, especially as the series goes on, and they mature together.

Here is an excellent post that further discusses and debunks the age gap legality rumors: https://tiny012.tumblr.com/post/184025521241/in-the-defense-of-mamoru-chiba-because-bitch-im

Final thoughts and conclusions about Usagi and Mamoru's relationship and Tuxedo Mask

In the end, Usagi and Mamoru mature and grow together; they are each other’s rock. Mamoru becomes a more laid back person around Usagi, like when he takes her to see the cats at the abandoned house to cheer her up in Ep. 91. Usagi asks him, “but are we allowed to go in there?” and he responds, “I don’t know! Who cares!” and hands her a little kitten. I love Diana’s comment in Ep. 146 about how both Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion fake being sick together to get out of meetings and commitments.

Mamoru loves Usagi for who she is; in some ways, she is everything he's not, and he loves her for that - they complete each other; he keeps her grounded while she lifts him up into craziness. And he adores it. Mamoru has told Usagi: "Never apologize for being yourself.”, "Your strong will is what I love about you most.” and “Just being with you makes my life complete.” When Fish’s Eye questioned Mamoru on why he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but Usagi, he responds, "She’s full of dreams. That’s why.” In Stars, as Chibiusa is fading from existence due to Nehellenia’s curse on Mamoru, she pleads that he remembers that both him and Usagi have always shared the same dreams. Mamoru and Usagi are pretty different, sure, but in reality, they have the same visions for the future; they share the same values, and they have the same dreams. They complement each other beautifully, and that is why their love is as strong as it is. Usagi may be a bit clumsy and a crybaby, but in Mamoru's eyes, she's perfect.

People also bring up Mamoru's avoidance of public displays of affection with Usagi as evidence that "he doesn't really love her." In Japan, public displays of affection are seen as rude and inappropriate. When Mamo is alone with Usako, they share countless cute moments. Kisses, hugs, affection.. they love each other. Let's not forget when Mamoru gave Usagi a promise ring at the airport and kissed her like they were the only two people on Earth. His last words were "Usako." He has taken countless blows and stabs in Usagi's place, and she has for him too.

We saw them fall in love over and over, as Serenity and Endymion, and as Bunhead and Jerkface. Even when brainwashed initially in Season 1, Mamoru couldn’t bring himself to hurt her and kept unconsciously helping her succeed. You can brainwash him, kill him, erase his memory, separate him from her, but there is nothing you can do to make Mamoru’s love for Usagi fade. In the words of Toru Furuya, the voice of Mamoru: "He loves Sailor Moon and Tsukino Usagi with his whole heart. I think he’s a very great person."

Finally, Tuxedo Mask gives Sailor Moon strength; he supports her to become the best superhero he knows she can be. He does his best to help the Senshi in battle, but it’s a story about girls protecting the world. Takeuchi wrote this character to fit that narrative; he is one of the characters she holds dearest in her heart. Few people can really understand the beauty of Usako and Mamo together and how Sailor Moon is breaking the stereotypes of gender roles. If you can’t understand that, it’s your loss.

Tuxedo Mask is the hero Tuxedo Mask haters deserve, but not the one they need right now, so they’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Moonlight Knight.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#sailor moon #tuxedo mask #usagi #usagi tsukino #usamamo #mamoru x usagi #usagi x mamoru #pgsm #sailor moon aesthetic #sailor moon crystal #anime #90s anime #mamoru chiba #mamoru #pretty guardian sailor moon

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gcrminatorarchive · 6 years

Text

OSMOSIS “OZZY” JONES. (OST)

MAIN: Summer In The City - St. Lunatics.

I am the king of the city, top down windows I'm Puffin like Diddy! Ridin' cause the haters face mad, team gritty! Honk your horn twice if your misses lookin' pretty!

SILLY: My Name Is - Eminem.

Hi! My name is (what?) My name is (who?) My name is Slim Shady Hi! My name is (huh?) My name is (what?) My name is Slim Shady

Hi! My name is (what?) Excuse me, (my name is) (who? My name is) Slim Shady Can I get the attention of the class (huh my name is, what my name is) For one second My name is (My name is Slim Shady)

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick Nine inch Nails, through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)

DETERMINATION: Hot Blooded - Foreigner.

Well, I'm hot blooded! Check it and see! I got a fever of a hundred and three! Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded!

BATTLE: Break U Off - Uncle Kracker.

I ain't looking for love, but I got plenty to give You come around with a frown and you leave with a fat lip I ain't shakin' but you can bet the heat's back So keep that, keep that, believe that No rights underneath my wrongs I spend a lot of time where I don't belong There to watch you fall, ain't a lot to ask All I need is a match and a gallon of gas and I'm I'll take you higher, baby I'll take you higher, baby I'm gonna set your lonely world On fire, baby Whatcha come down here for? I've come to break u off! Whatcha come down here for? I've come to break u off! Whatcha come down here for? I've come to break u off! Whatcha come down here for? I've come to break u off! Break you off, break you off Break you off, break you off Break you off!

SAD: Key To My Heart - Craig David.

Lonely hours, Lonely days, Never meant to drive you away from me, I shoulda listened to ya lady and what you had to say, if only I never knew how much you feel for somebody after you've let them go (let them go) And you find out that it's too late to let your feelings show (feelings show) And even though I've done you so wrong Don't you know, like I know, baby.

You see you've got the key to my heart, girl Unlock me and take all my feelings apart. Cause when you said you had to leave, had to go away, You closed the door on me; you threw away the key.

RELAXED: Fill Me In - Craig David.

I was checking this girl next door When her parents went out She phoned said, "hey boy, come back around" So I knock at the door You was standin' with a bottle of red wine, ready to pour Dressed in long black satin and lace to the floor. So I went in, then we sat down start kissing, caressing Told me about jacuzzi, sounded interesting So we jumped right in All calls diverted to answer phone Please leave a message after the tone. I mean me and her parents were kind of cool But they were the fine line between me and you. We were just doing things young people in love do Parents tryn’a find out what we were up to.

Saying why were you creeping around late last night Why did I see two shadows moving in your bedroom light Now you're dressed in black When I left you were dressed in white Can you fill me in? Calls diverted to answer phone Red wine bottle, half the contents gone When I returned, Jacuzzi turned on Can you fill me in?

HAPPY: R. Kelly - I Believe.

There could be dark clouds up over me, yeah Still I know I can stand tall, yeah And I can be the only man in the middle of the sea And still somehow I wouldn't feel small, no. Ever since I found you, baby, it's been my attitude, yes, it has I wouldn't trade you for the world, uh-uh If I bet my money on you, baby, I would never lose, no 'Cause you're my inspiration, girl With you by my side, I believe (Oh, I believe) I believe (Oh, I believe) Yes, I (I believe) I believe (Oh, I believe) Oh, I believe (Oh, I believe) I believe (I believe) Yes, I Now there could be a roadblock right in front of me, mmm And it wouldn't be in my way, no Even if they locked me up and threw away the key, yeah Somehow I know it would be okay, yeah 'Cause ever since I met you, girl, I've been positive. Oh, yes You gave me a reason why, yes, you did I kinda gave up on life, but now I wanna live, yeah 'Cause in the tunnel you were my light And with you by my side, I believe...

HARD WORK MONTAGE: Rider Like Me - Ezekiel Lewis.

I won't deny it, I'm a straight rider You don't wanna step to me. So homie let me enjoy my drink And let's kick it like real young G's.

Now where my soldiers at Runnin in the club sippin' cogniac Lookin’ for them shorties wit a lot of that Represent where you from if you a rider like me

Now where my mamis at All up in the club sippin’ cogniac Lookin’ for a playa with a lot of cash Represent where you from if you a rider like me.

LOVE: Fill Me In (Part 2) - Craig David.

Late last night, you were chilling with your friends, baby Driving all the God damn guys crazy. Hey You said now would you like To take me for a ride honey I said that would be just fine for me, for me, yeah You come around and you were willing to drive But it wasn't enough I guess you wanted me to come o’er your way You wanna ride & then tell me you wanna stay No way, ain't messing with the games you play

Fill me in Let me know what’s up baby Can you fill me in? Let me know what’s up Let me know what’s up Fill me in Let me know what’s up baby Can you fill me in? Let me know what’s up Let me know what’s up.

FAILURE / DEFEAT: Rock Bottom - Eminem.

I feel like I'm walkin' a tight rope without a circus net Poppin' Percocet, I'm a nervous wreck I deserve respect but I work a sweat for this worthless check I'm about to burst this Tec at somebody to reverse this debt Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged Full of venom and rage, especially when I'm engaged.

FINAL BATTLE: 'Till I Collapse - Eminem.

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give upBut you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse.

★ TAGGED BY: @coolaficionado ( <3 !! )

★ TAGGING: @consciouspeaking @koldreliff @tmxmory @brinkofbedlam (Thrax.) @mostghcst @shcllgame @neverwaryy @spidcr-pcoplc (Anyone you want.) @ghoulseezon @thatscwewywabbit @gliitchiing @deriision @sunsreign

#Who you callin’ a bad cop? (Self.)#You're dealin' with a white blood cell here! (Headcanons.)

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bardqueenofgallifrey · 7 years

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River Song for the character thing?

First impression

See, Time of Angels was like, the second episode of DW I properly watched bc I was being shown the Weeping Angels, so with my bad memory I’m assuming it was confusion, but “she seems cool”.

Impression now

I think she’s genuinely my favourite character in the DW universe other than the Doctor. She’s my morally questionable but good at heart wife and I adore her more than words could ever say.

I think a lot of people don’t appreciate just how much of a standout character she is when you look at female characters in general.

For a start, she’s an outlier in the ageist/sexist tradition of casting any woman over 40 as a bitch/villain or a mother (River could have been played by a 25 year old with zero difference to the story, but it wouldn’t have been the same, we all know that, they cast Alex and she’s perfect). She’s mature and badass and owns her sexuality.

And then you have the fact that you just... can’t put her in a box.

She’s allowed to take charge and flirt and lie and cry and make mistakes and grow, and she’s cruel and kind and cold and warm and playful and lethal and determined loves fiercely and would murder certain kinds of people without a second thought, and she’s able to be all of those things at once and have it still make sense.

She’s stripped of her agency from birth and spends her life taking it back and creating herself, living on her terms and being no less than the woman she wants to be.

Also, she’s a great example of a bi/pan character being in a committed relationship and being no less committed for being bi/pan. (Like, alright, anyone with sense knows that it’s an open marriage and that River is obviously very poly, something the show itself does lowkey acknowledge, but really it’s just about as plausible to consider that the marriage IS monogamous as it is to consider that it isn’t, so she’s kind of simultaneously poly representation and committed bi/pan representation,in a way, especially since being poly doesn’t make her less committed anyway, since her devotion to the Doctor is never in doubt.)

Favorite moment

Oh god, there’s far too many. I think her speech from Husbands of River Song will always win, though, the “[loving the Doctor] is like loving the stars themselves, you don’t expect a sunset to admire you back”.

In addition to just being beautiful in the moment and the reveal that came after, it also sheds a whole new light on her character that had only been hinted at before, the realisation that all this time, she’s never believed he loves her back. That she has, in words of a later episode, without hope, without witness, without reward, loved him all that time, because that’s her truth.

Her moment of realising it’s him, realising that god, maybe he does love her back, is just so incredible.

Idea for a story

Anything about Darillium is always fun, or things that involve her flirting with ladies. I’m working on a thing with her and the Doom Coalition audios companion Helen, because they’re really beautiful and gay together and I have a lot of feelings.

Unpopular opinion

I mean I know a lot of people have dumb opinions about River but I’m pretty sure most of what I’ve already said goes against those, so... yeah. Haters can hate but they’re missing out on one of the best female characters to ever exist in Doctor Who ever so... their loss, really.

Favorite relationship

Her and the Doctor, obviously. What a fucking power couple did you see how quickly they jumped into action in THoRS once she knew who he was?

I’ll never be over them, frankly, because they’re heartbreaking from the beginning but also fun and silly and adorable and passionate and devoted and I just.... they cover almost all the bases you could possibly want, they’re hot and cute and silly all at once.

(Runners up are River and her parents, and River/Helen(/Liv) in Doom Coalition bc g a y c u t i e s)

Favorite headcanon

Her numerous wives, including Benny, Clara, Helen, Liv, and Quill. (I’d say Missy but like, they’d just murder each other probably imo, lmao)

She 100% helped Helen Sinclair come to terms with being a lesbian and is very soft with her 1960′s wife okay that’s very important to me.

this got super long but I love River Song so so so so much like fcuk there will never be enough words she’s so important

#river song #doctor who #doctor x river #helen sinclair #the husbands of river song #character asks #anon asks #asks #Anonymous

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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Hater or Lover? (Chapter 3)

Camila’s POV.

“Mila,wake the fuck up!” Dinah keep pulling the covers that covering my face, she’s being annoying right now, well she’s always annoying so this is not the problem, the problem is, I don’t want to go with them, I can’t look at Lauren knowing I have to ignore her at school.

“Nooo, Dinah I don’t want to” I took off my blankets before pushing her away as hard as possible, I succeed when she fall from the side of my bed and I just laugh out loud.

“Ouch! Hey, Mila look at this” I sit down and try to gain my posture, my eyes went wide when I saw she has a balloon filled with water ready to throw at me, my instinct react very quickly.

“Dinah don-” I was too late because the water balloon hit my face, I was dripping wet and I heard her loud laugh, it was contagious so I ended up, laughing at myself too.

“I-if you just see your ridiculous face!” Dinah hold her stomach and I just roll my eyes but theirs a small smile curved into my lips.

“Yeah yeah, now go away, I’m going to sleep” before I can lay down, Dinah quickly hold my waist then she quickly lift me up with ease, she place me in her shoulders.

“Dinah! Put me down” I punch Dinah’s back but I know it’s not enough to let myself free but she just hold me tightly, but not enough to hurt me.

“Mila, you can’t just hide in this house, your absent for almost 1 week and the Lauren girl keep asking me if you’re okay” Dinah carefully walk down from the stairs, I stop my movements knowing we can fall and ended up getting hurt.

Lauren keep asking me? I ignore her the whole time when we’re taking our math test last week, I know she keep asking me to study with her or if I want to hangout but I decline to her request, that’s when my heart ache when I saw her disappointed look. I thought she will stop asking me but I was wrong, every day she keep asking the same question and everyday I keep my same answers, that’s when I decide to stay at home everyday just to prevent from seeing her disappointed face, she’s not being annoying if that’s what you think, I feel horrible because she only wanted to know me but I just keep being mean or acting like I really don’t care about her but deep inside, I totally like her.

“Dinah, I can’t” when we reach the kitchen, I saw Ally making our breakfast. Dinah put me down and I quickly sat down from one of the chairs, when Ally turn around to place our food, her eyes went wide.

“What happen to you? Your all wet” Ally place the plate full of pancakes, eggs and some bacons.

“Oh nothing, it’s just Dinah throw a water balloon in my face” I smile sarcastically in front of the Polynesian girl and she just holding her laugh right now, Ally just gave her a serious look and Dinah immediately stop.

“Your going with us today?” Ally ask just like every other day, I just shrugged not knowing what’s my decision either. I know I can’t just hide forever, I grab my plate and put some chocolate syrup in my pancakes before taking a bite at it.

Before I can open my mouth, Dinah answer the question for me.

“She’s coming and that’s final” Dinah look at me, I know I can’t do anything when she her decision is final so I just pout at Ally but she just smile at me.

“Do you want your Lauren to kiss that pout away?” I immediately shot my head back to Dinah and I felt my cheeks burning up just by thinking of me and her kissing together which is unusual to me, she’s just joking but I can’t hold myself from denying it.

“N-no way, stop teasing me” she just smirk at me which didn’t help at all, she teased me all the time about the people who likes me but I never flustered like this before.

“Ally our baby is growing up, she have a silly crush!” Dinah wipe her imaginary tears and Ally just laugh making me blushed even more.

“Guys stop!” I just finish my pancakes and take a big sip in my orange juice, didn’t bother to listen at Dinah’s teasing words.

When we finish our breakfast, I quickly took a shower and I choose some casual outfit to wear, I choose a white knee length dress, black high heels and I keep my long brown hair naturally wavy, my make up is just light not wanting to exaggerate it. When I came down from the stairs, dinah already shouting my name saying to hurry up because we’re getting late.

I entered my chemistry class with Dinah and my eyes quickly shot to the green eyed beauty. She was sitting in the back with a pretty blond hair girl, the girl seems to like Lauren because the way she touch Lauren’s arm and the way she bite her bottom lip while looking at Lauren eyes is a gesture of flirting to me. Lauren is just all smiley, she look so innocent but wild at the same time which is so impossible and hot, while the girl in front of her is falling in love, I mean all the girls in this school is questioning their sexuality when they talk to Lauren. When I sit in the front row, my bestfriend seems to notice me with my own disguise face, she look where I was looking at and a smirk find it’s way to her face.

“Jealous?” Dinah whisper and I just glared at her, I noticed that everyone is looking at me like everytime, it’s not weird at all for me, since last year they all look at me with their disgusting lustful eyes scanning my own body which sending some chills just by thinking about that.

“Shut up Dj” I just roll my eyes at her and she chuckle, I feel someone sitting in beside, my heart beat knowing it might be her but when I turned around, it was just Shawn. I feel disappointed that it wasn’t her, Shawn smile charmingly at me and I gave him a small smile before turning around to face Dinah. She’s glaring at him, she never liked him, she didn’t even teased me about Shawn liking me and I don’t even know why.

I adjust my seat towards to Dinah so I was closer at her and be able to turn around to my right properly to see the blond girl leaning in to kiss Lauren and the jealousy that I feel increase even more, I feel rage right now but all of it suddenly disappear when Lauren stop the girl, she put her index finger in the blond girl lips and just smile at her before shaking her head, she look at my direction and I feel my cheeks are burning, I quickly turn around to hide my blushing cheeks and my lips is curving into a big smile.

“You okay Camila?” Shawn said and he might thinking that I was sick because I know my face is in a bright red, I just nod at him.

“Tomato head” Dinah whisper at me, she probably saw what Lauren did. I jokingly glare at her but fail because I can’t stop my lips to form a big smile, the scene that I saw keep repeating in my head.

I was fixing my bag when someone tap my shoulder, my heart beat quickly raise and my breath hitched when I saw Lauren, she look anxious and when I look deep into her eyes, I found myself melting.

“Are you free today?” She ask nervously and my heart is ready to run away because of the unsteady beat.

“I-I shouldn’t a-”

“I’m free” I quickly answer before she form the words that will lose my opportunity to know her, because of the scene that I saw in my chemistry class, I decide to be friends with her and gain her attention so she can be mine… mine? WTF AM I THINKING?

“Your cheeks” she touch my face with both of her hands, I was ready to faint right now. I blush even more and I can’t look away from her eyes, I was really hypnotized by them.

“U-Um h-huh?” I stuttered and can’t even form any word, all I can do right now is stand in front of her and look into her beautiful eyes.

“Are you okay?” She touch my forehead with the back of her hand and take a step closer at me, were so close that I can almost feel her breath, I don’t know what I’m thinking right now but I found myself leaning in to kiss her.

She’s my first kiss?

#UPDATE #series #AU #camren #humour #romance fluff #submission #Hater or Lover

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samanthasroberts · 5 years

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The 10 Most Difficult-to-Defend Online Fandoms

Oh, fandom. So passionate, so partisan—and, too often these days, so prolifically peevish. From Tumblr and Wattpad to more mainstream platforms like Twitter and Instagram, online communities have served as rallying points for stan armies: obsessives who comb over every interview and shred of non-news for information about the object of their adoration. But increasingly, fandoms' emotions have been curdling into a different kind of potion; something petty, entitled, conspiratorial, even abusive. So on the occasion of San Diego Comic-Con, one of the biggest fan events in the world, it's time for some tough love.

First, a note: this is a look at toxic strains that exist within a larger fandom, not an indictment of a given artist or person. Fandom is a pure and precious thing, and no one should feel conflicted about being invested in a pop-culture figure or property. If you express that investment by being a worse person, though—treating appreciation like warfare, demanding dogmatic purity tests, attacking people, or seeing yourself as some kind of a crusader—than it's probably time to take some time and re-assess things. We're sure nothing in the following catalog sounds like anything you've done in the name of fandom, right? Enjoy Comic-Con!

10. Barbz (Nicki Minaj Fandom)

The Barbz are a fiercely loyal sort. Case in point: In April, upon the release of Invasion of Privacy, a writer for British GQ explained how Cardi B had adopted Nicki Minaj’s style in a much more accessible way. “Nicki intimidates; Cardi endears,” she wrote. Minaj disciples responded with an all-out attack. The GQ staffer was flooded with malicious tweets, ranging from the direct (“I will kill u bitch”) to even more direct (“You better to delete that before we get your address and start hunting you and your family down!!”) The following month, the Barbz turned on one of their own when a self-proclaimed fan wondered aloud on Twitter: “You know how dope it would be if Nicki put out mature content? No silly shit, just reflecting on past relationships, being a boss, hardships, etc.” (Minaj took it further and DMed a disgustingly petty reply to the fan). For Barbz, fandom doesn’t allow for dissent—even when it's not dissent but a valid, healthy appraisal. This may come as a surprise, y'all, but love and criticism are not mutually exclusive.

9. Swifties (Taylor Swift Fandom)

Generally speaking, Taylor Swift’s fans aren’t bad—they just really love Swift and tend to be a little over-the-top about it. And most of the time, that’s what fandom is. (Also, this is a pop star who sends holiday presents to them; she’s earned their devotion.) But within that group, the “Bad Blood” singer has a few bad apples. There are those who go after Hayley Kiyoko for daring to point out that she shouldn’t be criticized for singing about women when Swift sings about men all the time. (Swift actually agrees with Kiyoko on that point.) There are Swifties who get bent out of shape when she doesn’t get nominated for enough awards. And then there are the white supremacists—fans Swift seems to have done nothing to court, but pop up anyway. Yeah, the ones who call her an “Aryan goddess”? Those are the ones who give her a bad reputation.

8. Zack Snyder Fans

Look, Zack Snyder's hardcore supporters have it rough. Or, well, they think they do. They’ve hitched their wagon to a star that occasionally blinks out. He’s made some OK movies (Dawn of the Dead, Watchmen) but he’s made even more that have been trashed by critics: Sucker Punch; Man of Steel; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. That's led to a persecution complex among more than a few of his stans. While this kerfuffle has died down a bit with Snyder's step back from the spotlight—recently, he has shifted focus to make iPhone movies and produce the DC movies rather than direct them—the coming years represent a reckoning. James Wan’s Aquaman and Patty Jenkins' Wonder Woman sequel are headed to theaters, and the receptions they get may determine whether critics have complaints with all DC movies, or just the ones with Snyder behind the camera. In the meantime, though, his own personal justice league will be there to defend it.

7. Rick and Morty Fans

Yes, Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland created a funny, smart, challenging (god, those burps) cartoon. Yes, it delivers a bizarro Back to the Future ride through both spacetime and genre tropes. Yes, it's the most STEM-conscious animated show since Futurama. But sweet tapdancing Pickle Rick, you've never seen a TV fandom more noisome than this one. There's the "this show is so smart normies don't get it" self-congratulation that's so over-the-top it became a copypasta meme; there's the propensity to doxx the show's female writers and generally be such venal stains that Harmon despises them; there's the mass freakout after McDonald's ran out of limited-edition Szechuan dipping sauce. (Yes, that's correct.) While Adult Swim recently renewed the show for 70 new episodes, there's going to be quite a lull before anyone sees a new episode—here's hoping the fans grow up a little bit in the meantime.

6. #TeamBreezy (Chris Brown Fandom)

It’s been almost a decade since reports first surfaced of Chris Brown’s violent abuse of then-girlfriend Rihanna. Since then, Rihanna has rocketed to pop superstardom while Brown’s career has strided along, aided by a loyal following that borders on enablers. Despite an earnest-seeming redemption tour, reports of Brown’s violent behavior continue to bubble up: Brown’s ex-girlfriend filed for a restraining order; Brown went on a homophobic Twitter rant; Brown punched a fan in a nightclub; Brown locked a woman in his home, without a cell phone, so she could be sexually assaulted. (Brown’s camp denies that last accusation.) Yet, Team Breezy generally attributes such reports to misinformation and "haters." Fandoms are built on stand-by-your-man loyalty, but at some point it becomes impossible to love the art in good conscience. If the #MeToo movement is any indication, the times have changed since Rihanna’s bloody face headlined gossip sites. Willful ignorance is no longer an acceptable choice.

5. XXXtentacion Fans

On June 18, outside of a Broward County motorcycle dealership, 20-year-old Jahseh Onfroy was fatally gunned down by two assailants. At the time of his death, Onfroy, who rapped under the moniker XXXTentacion, had already amassed a rare kind of fame: He attracted deep love and even deeper hate with a ferocious mania. The allure of Onfroy’s dark matter inspired the type of fandom that spills into violent obsession. A recurring source of vitriol for the rapper, and an easy target for his rabid fanbase, was his ex-girlfriend, Geneva Ayala, who filed multiple charges against the rapper (including aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, domestic battery by strangulation, and witness tampering). When it came to light that Ayala created a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for hospital bills due to damage inflicted by Onfroy, his fans bullied her into exile: forcing her to delete Instagram, hacking her Twitter account, harassing her at work to the point that she was left with no option but to quit, and shutting down her GoFundMe (it was later reopened). Having made a name for himself on Soundcloud, where he often engaged issues of mental health in his music, Onfroy willingly embraced his demons (he once called himself “lil dylan roof” on Twitter, referencing the Charleston shooter who murdered nine parishioners in South Carolina in 2015). But even now, in death, XXX is a reminder that extreme fandom has the power to blind people to the blood on their own hands.

4. Logang (Logan Paul Fandom)

Let’s get this out of the way up front. Many, even most, of Logan Paul’s fans are literal children. And so if you ask us who is really responsible for their bad behavior, we’re going to have to say the fault is predominantly with Paul and, you know, other adults. But the Logang (or the Logangsters, depending on who you ask), like Lil Tay, are inventing a new category of internet villain: the terrifying baby troll. They do all the things adult trolls do—parrot back the sexist and racist things Pauls says, stalk him outside hotel rooms, and harass and troll the “haters” daring to criticize their deeply problematic idol—but they’re kids! So you can’t really fire back at them without being a jerk yourself. Listen, Logang: all Logan wants to do is sell you merch. He’s not really your friend. Can I interest you in a puppy video?

3. Bro Army (Pewdiepie Fandom)

First rule of non-toxic fandoms: Don’t call yourselves "bro," don’t call yourselves an "army," and definitely don’t call yourselves the Bro Army. People might assume you’re a bunch of flame-war-loving trolls who think girls are icky—and where YouTuber PewDiePie’s fans are concerned, everyone would be absolutely right. It’s not just that they’ve stuck with the Swedish gamer/alleged comedian as he peppered his videos with racial slurs, rape jokes, anti-Semitism, and homophobia for nearly a decade (though that’s bad enough). It’s also that they insist that PewDiePie somehow isn’t being hateful at all. Oh, and if you quote their hero back at them, they’ll wallpaper your social media accounts with thoughtful messages about how you suck—for years.

2. The Dark Side of Star Wars Fandom

The most recent eruption has been a hilariously non-ironic campaign to remake The Last Jedi, but that's sadly just the latest in a long line of online grossness from the entitled Sith-heads who are so keen on reclaiming the Star Wars universe . Somehow, Gamergate has come to a galaxy far, far away; hectoring, harassment, even death threats aimed at director Rian Johnson. To be clear, this is a tiny (if vocal) subset of Star Wars fandom, which on the whole is as joyous and inclusive as the universe is finally becoming. But to to quote our own Adam Rogers:

"Everyone has a right to opinions about movies. Everyone has a right, I guess, to throw those opinions in the face of the people who make those movies, though it does seem at minimum impolite. Everyone has the right to ask transnational entertainment companies to make the movies they want, and if those companies don’t respond, to stop giving the companies money. But harassment, threats, jokes about someone’s race or gender? A Jedi would fight someone who did that stuff. The Force binds us all together. Hatred and anger are the ways of the Dark Side; they may bring power, but at a cost. It harms individuals, debases the people who do it, and it breaks the Fellowship. In the end, the cost of that power will be powerlessness."

1. Elon Musk Acolytes

"Always punch up" is a good life motto. You’ll accomplish a lot by speaking truth to power; dissecting the misdeeds of a relative unknown, though, makes you look like a tool. That’s why, despite the plethora of dark and toxic fandoms that flourish on the fringes of the internet, the group that tops our list of nasties is devoted to a person at the internet's very center: Elon Musk. To his fan club, Musk is so much more than a charismatic artist, a talented musician, or, hey, a flawed but successful tech entrepreneur—he’s a messiah, a vestige of an age of retrograde masculinity, when a reasonably successful man could expect his ideas to remain unchecked and his words be read as gospel. And Musk wields his one-man metaphor status (and his 22.3 million follower army) to whack out any dissenting opinions. “Because before he commented on my tweet, it was floundering in relative obscurity,” science writer Erin Biba wrote in a piece for the Daily Beast. But after Musk’s dismissive response, Biba found herself drowning in hate mail and abuse. By letting his mob pick over opinions he does not like, Musk is able to control the narrative, playing up investigative reporting on Tesla’s poor labor practices as a misinformation campaign—or even, in some recent deleted tweets, insinuating that one of the people involved with the Thai cave rescue efforts is a pedophile. It’s bad to be thin-skinned, and terrible to play the underdog, but playing it while you ignite a million-man bullying campaign is reprehensible.