#not just the loss of my job

[basketghost]

Feeling so stressed and tired and discouraged.

People fucking suck.

This is about a lot of things, but also specifically about my job.

And people just not giving a shit. Giving all of the lip service to the store, while actively watching its death throes.

Describing the store, which has been in business for fifty years now as a small, family-owned book store, as a "pillar of the community," "the main hub of town," saying things like "I love this place so much, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here," while sales are so bad, my bosses are pretty convinced we may close by the end of the year.

Like I'm inclined to say that nobody ACTUALLY gives a shit. Two years ago, just before covid started, things already weren't great, and my bosses (husband and wife) put out a letter to the community to say "hey, this isn't the end, but if things don't get better, we won't be here forever." And for a few months, that helped, though plenty of people misinterpreted it as "WE ARE CLOSING" and only came in to badger us about closing sales. Now, though, things are just worse than ever. We're all just stuck on the inside, watching the slow death of the store we all love so much, while people on the outside essentially give us a thumbs-up and walk right past.

We try so hard to pull the public in, and literally nothing works. We've had authors, we've had sales, we've had a TRAVELING STORYTELLER WHO'S TRAVELING THE US ON FOOT COME AND DO A PERFORMANCE. We had a local guy who wrote some books and all of his profits for the time being are going to Ukraine. He was in a local paper, and we did a whole big event promotion for his signing.

He sold a single book.

Several staple shops on our main street have closed in the last couple of years. This may just be the big one that brings down the rest of main street behind it. I hope all the assholes in this quaint, Victorian canal village like more pizza shops and tattoo parlors, because those just keep filling the empty storefronts of the more diverse, interesting places that close.

The town has lost so much already because the people who actually live here don't shop here. Maybe they deserve this. This is what happens when you don't support your own community.

I just wish there was a way to pick up the whole store and plop it in a different place.

This is an immature way to end this, but I don't give a shit, everything fucking sucks, and nothing's fair, and I'm so tired of everything.

[ministarfruit]

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[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

[trashblog07]

“I can see you” by Taylor swift would have been breagan coded if we could have gotten more of them

[ddeck]

Windu and Quinlan's dynamic can be something so personal

[soldier-poet-king]

No I CANT stop making connections between everything, between real life and silly little video games and books and god and philosophy and everything. Yes it's a pepe silva red string board but it is not despair or paranoia, it is borne out of elation and love and joy and /hunger/ for this unnameable, unknowable, inexorable thing that even the absolute emotional extremes of the human soul can only begin to approach, can only be a pale shadowy imitation of.

And it's just! How could I stop that? Why would I ever stop that? There is so much wrong with me and my brain and everything of my existence, this is the one thing I am infinitely grateful for, that this heart and connection, that these come so easily to me, that amongst the tangled threads of my mind these connections click, and the simplest things are only ever a small step away from the deepest profundities.

"It's all connected" not as a paranoid accusation, but as a cry of joy and elation!

[teamhawkeye]

there are so many things that can be said in regards to grief, and yet no words can ever truly convey the depth and breadth of the agony it leaves you with

[see-arcane]

Mina's incredible (and underrated) detective prowess would be very useful I bet. Put her on the helm Integra, Van Helsing praised her brains as being above everyone's including himself for a reason.

I honestly can't guess what the chemistry between Integra and Mina would be. Integra doesn't really click with me as a classically heroic character, for all that she does focus on saving humanity from the undead via Alucard and her forces, being the Boss Lady etc etc. She's miles away from being as insidious as an Amanda Waller, but...

The hotel. The fucking hotel will never leave me.

Yes, the order went directly against 'soldiers of the enemy,' but those soldiers had been lied to about who and what they were charging into. Which was obvious even without being a fly on the wall to know their higher-ups had fed them some BS to march them into death and win their own power grab from Millennium. She didn't tell Alucard to 'make it quick' or even just to 'neutralize.' She told him to search and destroy. Folding to Alucard's egging and negging to seem like a Worthy War Commander in the grand scheme~ of the plot

She's not heartless, exactly, but she is arctic and surprisingly quick to breeze past the loss of lives that aren't under her direct care/command. While she might respect Mina's abilities and investigative skills--I wouldn't be surprised if Mina could intuit Millennium's endgame well before the climax could happen--Integra inherited none of her ancestor's warm regard, supposing Abraham van Hel(l)sing had any of the original's tenderness in him (50/50 considering this takes place in aggro horror territory). We can't even say if this universe's Mina played any big role in cornering Dracula; she might just have been a targeted damsel.

All that said, I think Integra would see Mina as another time-displaced bleeding heart with a few useful skills, same as Jonathan. Someone to be an ally at best, a liability at worst. So I don't see her handing over any reins or offering to be co-girlbosses any time soon :c

[babyfairy]

god said i’m going to put you through unending emotional pain and turmoil and give you the most unbearable personality on earth so that you’ll feel guilty whenever you don’t deal with it in complete isolation. good luck and enjoy

[crystalis]

i feel sad about not belonging anywhere and being small/invisible and like.. idk who i am

i feel really regretful of my life but idk what to do or how to change anything

or i mean i know what i need to do but i feel like i cant or im too scared .. and lately ive been frustrated with myself bc ive been experiencing that "trapped inside my head" feeling really intensely where idk how to speak to articulate thoughts and it feels painful

[chryblossomjjk]

what’s a bitch gotta do to run into a chonky black cat and take it home

[tar-frogs]

to listen to hozier is to realize that to love and lose and fear is to live and admire and trust and to just simply be and exist and there's nothing more beautiful than life itself and the beauty of being alive and there's nothing more beautiful and breathtaking than you because you are everything and everything is you and you deserve to feel it all.

everything. every heart break. every piece of misplaced trust. every first love. everything lost. everything known. everything forgotten. everything stolen. everything, because everything can be seen and felt through you. and because of you. and just. you.

you know?

[comixandco]

i’m just

there must be so many gaps in jieum’s memory

she was the girl of many trades but can she remember how she learnt any of those skills? No they were all from her past lives so they’re gone. Can she remember leaving her neglectful family to live with ae-gyeong? No because she was from a past life, so where does ji-eum think she grew up? She remembers being good at school and her awards but not if anybody was there in the audience for her. She says in her phone call to her superior that she remembers switching departments before, but she doesn’t remember working in the hotel. She cooks meals the exact way as ae-gyeong taught her and she taught ae-gyeong, but she doesn’t remember having learnt them. if she can’t remember anything to do with her past lives, she wouldn’t be able to remember anything that had happened in the past few months the drama is set over.

that must be such an odd and confusing existence, to only remember small dots and flashes of your life, and a giant gap in recent memory, and she doesn’t even seem to be affected by it either? Did she go to the hospital after coming to consciousness standing on a bridge with no idea how she got there? Did they run tests on her brain to see if something had gone wrong? Does she think she suffered a mental breakdown?

What is going on in ji-eum’s brain in those final scenes i want to dissect her thoughts like a grape

[eriexplosion]

Since today is apparently the day for ending thoughts on TBB - I don't think that the series is going to end with the batch split up, if only because they've never really been together. Crosshair of course has always been off on his own hell journey, Echo left to work with Rex, Tech "died", Omega kidnapped. They started the series with a fracture and they've just become more and more fractured over time.

But, they've also been following Hunter's desire to stay out of shit that whole time. To settle down and find a good life for Omega. Let her be a child and not a fighter. And if the season 2 finale says anything, it says that just stepping out isn't an option. The Empire is never going to just leave their family alone.

We know Echo doesn't want to stop, not when there are other clones out there to help. And I think that after everything Crosshair isn't going to want to stop either. He's less motivated by sheer altruism than Echo, but he has branched out from only caring about the batch and absolutely no one else and he has every reason to despise the Empire after this.

Omega? We know baby girl loves to help people and her time in Mt Tantiss will have given her a close up look at every reason that the fight for the clones isn't over. And she's become more and more independent as the show goes on. Hunter will want her to stay on Pabu and unlike in the season 2 finale she won't be in the depths of despair. She's going to want to help and I don't think anything is going to stop her.

Tech has been the other voice of Going After Crosshair in season 2, and once they get him back and he wants to go with Echo? And Omega does too? Tech is going to lend his assistance, on or off the field depending on how we get him back.

Which leaves Wrecker and Hunter. Hunter trying to convince them to please just settle down say its enough, he can't lose people that he just got back. But he's being outvoted one by one. And when Wrecker decides that they have a point, because of course he's missed Omega, Tech, AND Crosshair and he's going where they're going... well, Hunter is going to have to admit that their job isn't done.

One of the themes has been being more than soldiers - and that leads to a thought that they'll finally get to retire and I think they do make Pabu their home base and it's a more restful life than they've had. But I don't think it'll be to retire completely. They're not just soldiers, they're a family. But there are many more brothers out there that need to be brought home before they're done.

[fishybehavior]

Evil Jay but no memory loss

[gorescreamingshow]

so annoyed, joined a zine discord and immediately was met with the rule "if you like dark content LEAVE NOW this is a SAFE SPACE" so i just rejected my invitation. not even "don't make dark content for this zine" which i wasn't going to anyway just in general if you make/enjoy dark stuff at all LEAVE... fine i'll go back to making sexy necrophilia yuri comics with my gf