#not standing outside the gates

[drizztdohurtin]

Rolan's First Day As a Father (blurb)

pairing: Rolan x afab!reader ("she", "her", "wife" used)

Okay, I wrote this in the "Rolan: fatherhood" headcanons but erm.... it got really long and turned into a blurb, so I'm releasing it separately so that I can add more actual headcanons to the post (I love when my own thoughts make my stomach hurt)

〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛

Warnings: this is hella angst, and a little comfort, please buckle in

would recommend reading my 'deciding to start a family, and conceiving' post before continuing

His attention had been only on you, a never-ending string of loving encouragement falling from his lips as you labored to deliver your baby; your strength and persistence only fueling his own, not allowing the anguish he felt from seeing you in so much pain to get the better of him.

The second he hears those first big cries when your baby is finally born, every single cell in his body is flooded with the parental bond he had been so utterly desperate to feel while you were pregnant. He focuses his attention on helping you get a little more comfortable now that the hardest part is over, praising you for how incredible you did as the doctor and cleric checked over you and your baby.

Rolan looks up with wide eyes to see the cleric carefully handing the newborn to you; a weary but thrilled laugh leaving your mouth upon seeing his beautiful red skin and adorable little tail for the first time.

Rolan goes motionless, staring at you cradling your newborn through the tears beginning to trickle into his vision. Time slowed as the overwhelming waves of love crashed into him - every single fear that he had while you were pregnant going out of the window, never to return again. He hadn't even held his baby and yet he already knew that if he had to take an ice knife to the chest every second of every day until his last day to protect him, he would in a heartbeat.

That night while you slept, he'd sit and rock his newborn, eyes full of adoration, tracing over every one of his features as he slept peacefully in his arms - trying to commit the image of his son to memory as if he'd never see him again.

He eventually works up the courage to gently graze the pad of his thumb over the baby's delicate features that mirrored his own: the light red skin, the bright yellow eyes, the black nails, the long pointed ears, and the tiny ridged tail that was barely the length of his own hand - wondering if his horns would be black like his, too.

If anyone had been watching Rolan at that moment, they'd see an expression of deep contentment and affection gracing his features as he traced his son's face - but then they'd see his smile fade, his eyes widen, and his lip begin to quiver as he fights back tears.

They'd watch as Rolan realized: this was the same sight his own parents had seen before they abandoned him.

When Rolan looked down at his baby boy, he saw the most perfect being in the world, the ultimate testament of your love, a blessing from the Gods that he did not believe he deserved.

And tears began to fall from his eyes as he tried to imagine it.

He tried to imagine watching the person he loved most in the world carry his child for months, laboring every day and night to create their son out of nothing.

He tried to imagine watching you go through hours of pain - pain that would bring even the strongest to their knees in surrender - to give birth to their son.

And then he tried to imagine looking down at his child and seeing anything but perfection.

He tried to feel hatred and disgust for the very being that he'd burn cities to the ground to protect

He tried to feel anything but unconditional love for the perfect angel that you had gone through so much pain to create.

And, obviously, he couldn't.

His head started spinning with emotions - the fire of his anger and pain being doused by the tranquility of his love and adoration for the tiny tiefling in his arms. He did his best to wipe his face without disturbing the sleeping boy in his arms, but it didn't work.

The bittersweet cries rang through his ears, momentarily erasing his own troubles, consumed by the singular desire to provide comfort - offering gentle kisses as he drew his son closer to his chest. He allowed himself to soak up the moment, gently leaning his cheek on his son's head as he rocked him back and forth - only realizing once his son's cries diminished that he had been purring.

Rolan had never been fond of that particular part of his lineage - though he had become less self-conscious about it when he had found out how much you loved it years ago. And now, witnessing how his body had instinctively reacted to calm his crying child, he had never been more thankful for it.

He softly pressed his nose and lips to the top of his son's head, giving him more gentle kisses and breathing in the heavenly newborn smell - before pulling away to look at his sweet face once again.

Rolan knew he'd always love him, that there was nothing his child could do that would make him stop loving him - and he promised this to his son in the gentlest whisper he could muster as tiny, bright yellow eyes peered back into his own.

He promised that he'd always keep him safe; that he'd always keep him fed, healthy, and warm.

He promised that he'd always take care of him and heal him when he was hurt.

He promised that he'd never leave him, that he'd never know the pain he felt growing up.

And Rolan took great solace in knowing his son would never feel the pain and abandonment that he felt as a child - in knowing that he would do everything for his son that his parents didn't do for him.

[seldaryne]

yeah so apparently that first encounter with astarion did Not have to take place on a pile of leaves

that is a whole ass campsite less than 10 feet away.

why is he like this.

[ughgoaway]

the coke is always at the scene of the crime with this man

(dad matty thoughts associated with this pic)

[wrenisnotdead]

pov: trying to get your wifey back

[bunnihearted]

🐇☀️☁️🍦

[sidetongue]

DOGPILE 

[the-foley-knoll-horror]

Dungeon Meshi animeonlies have the most boring white bread opinions I swear

[wampabampa]

I’ve been sitting here for 3 hours about to be 4..

[dirt-str1der]

just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

[bees-tes-blog]

I wonder what my pawns get up to when they're waiting for me outside the duke's demesne

[bylertruther]

i wish some villain enjoyers could just be regular about liking villains. a character can be tragic, incorrigible, piteous, and abominable all at the same time. i mean, a majority of the time, it's that exact mind-boggling dichotomy that makes them so alluring! reducing them to a dull "uwu abused little neurodivergent minor babyman who isn't actually evil 🥺" is just... so boring, and tame, and not what that fictional cunt in question would want you to do lol.

there's nothing inherently wrong with exploring evil and morality through fiction—it's the same as exploring any other topic or theme. liking cersei, the joker, azula, hannibal lecter, chucky, and so on and so forth doesn't mean you're going to go out and commit war crimes or kill people lol. just like liking spider-man, eleven, jessica day, or finn the human doesn't mean you're going to protect the elderly from getting mugged or save the world.

like... all i'm saying is at least do it with your chest like everyone else does with heroes. you don't gotta close your eyes and pretend that the genuine evil these characters have committed doesn't exist because all of a sudden that goes against your sorry bastardization of them. i promise you that no one is going to come into your room and punch you in the tit for daring to acknowledge the entirety of this character you claim to love and their purpose within the narrative.

just.. why gun for a villain if you're not gonna love, accept, or even look at their villainy? what's the point? where's the fucking pizzazz? isn't the whole point of a villain that they do villainous things, at least in the eyes of the heroes? the horror isn't a bug, it's a feature. it's... literally the entire fucking point lmao and you're missing it entirely. talk about cringe!

[spending-life-pretending]

Having only read the farseer trilogy is such a sticky spot to be in because on the one hand there’s a golden retriever in my brain that’s like yes!!! I did it!!! rote fandom here I come!!!! But on the other hand if I look up anything I will get so so spoiled so so quickly

[aiiaiiiyo]

[loregirlsam]

gale force winds outside and i can still hear the ice cream truck going

[yotd2009]

i spent 40 min b4 the show trying to get a tshirt

[fatcowboys]

finished orzammar tonight, the last treaty i had left, which means. landsmeet. which means galaia gets to go Home 🥺