#note that he never actually introduced himself in that episode

[idkaguyorsomething]

it always brings a smile to my face, remembering the first ever title drop on doctor who. it became a tradition for our titular character to introduce himself as the doctor and then have someone else understandably ask “¿doctor who?”. but no, the first time was susan mentioning that he was a doctor before anyone ever met him. then, since susan is his granddaughter and her last name is foreman, ian called him “doctor foreman”, leading this centuries-old mf who apparently doesn’t understand human naming conventions for a society he’s been presumably hiding out in for months to be the first ever character on the show to say the words out loud: doctor who

[cjrae]

Stunted Love. Or: The Theme of MaoMao's little finger.

Maomao's little finger is a recurring motif in the Apothecary Diaries, and it receives even more emphasis in the anime's first season - it represents her belief that romantic love leads to pain and destruction. Spoilers primarily for the anime, but also the epilogue of light novel four and Chapter 15 of light novel six below.

Love In A Cage

The motif is first introduced in "The Unsettling Matter of the Spirit" - Concubine Fuyou's story. Maomao has already noted the parallels between the red light district and the Inner Palace, but here we see what happens when romantic love is introduced into the mix. On paper, Concubine Fuyou is a literal object of pity. Her personhood is being gifted to an officer who recently distinguished himself on the front lines, discarded after having failed to please the Emperor. It's telling that this is one of the first times we see Jinshi interacting with a consort where he is completely serious, without bringing his charm to bear. We never hear him say anything, but it's clear that he's communicating the Emperor's order with respect and understanding the gravity of the consequences for Fuyou.

As the events of the episode unfold, the parallels between courtesans and consorts get stronger as Maomao introduces the concept of having a contract bought out - if a man wants a courtesan enough, she is also an object to be purchased, albeit at potentially astronomical price. At first glance, it would seem like these women have absolutely no power in these scenarios - but by the end of the episode, Maomao shows us the feminine side of this transaction - how a woman can manipulate the system she is trapped by in order to get what she wants. All she has to do is lower her value - a rather counterintuitive measure that can go horribly wrong all too easily, as we see later.

And what Concubine Fuyou wants is to escape the Inner Palace to be with the man she loves - a task that she succeeds at. She has played a long, patient game in the service of freedom. Trapped in the cage of the Inner Palace herself, Maomao holds her scarred finger against the freedom of the sky and wonders what kind of medicine love would make.

Devotion

We see further flashbacks to Maomao's past through multiple episodes, but the next time the concept of love is brought up is when Fengming is confessing her role in the death of Consort Ah-Duo's baby in "Honey" (episode 11). Maomao is brought up short by Fengming's confession - she flat out says to the audience that she's never loved anyone with that depth of devotion Fengming displays toward Ah-Duo, so she doesn't know how Fengming feels. But if she doesn't have empathy to offer, she does have a rough kindness. Another person might have said that Ah-Duo deserved to know why her son died, that the knowledge might have provided closure. Maomao, however, believes that knowing the baby's cause of death would only cause more pain (it's never the crime and always about the cover-up) without providing any actual benefit.

With these two episodes framing her early character development we see that, whatever Maomao's natural inclinations are (and I will leave discussion of neuro divergency to those better qualified to discuss it), there is a certain distance between Maomao and her emotions most of the time. It is implied that this distancing from her emotions is a trauma response as the image of a woman holding a knife above her head while kneeling on a bed is shown but not explained (it is the only recurring image during the montage before the discussion about her potential execution with Jinshi).

Lakan and Fengxian

In "Lakan" (episode 18) the motif begins recurring more often as Maomao's parentage is revealed. We've caught glimpses of the sick woman in the annex before, but as the camera pans over the bed, it's clear that this is Maomao's mother (as always in anime, the hair is a dead giveaway). We've seen Maomao in this room, always curled in a fetal position, staring with blank eyes, but here we see Maomao actually caring for a woman who she describes as driving her out over and over again. The camera's focus is on Maomao's eyes as she watches her mother continuing to deteriorate - they're blank yet again, echoing her earlier line of "This is stupid. She's gone."

This is not the look of a girl who genuinely doesn't care about her mother. The image of her mother with the knife upraised is straight out of recurring nightmares that wake her gasping with terror and continue to haunt her after she's returned to work. While there is no AFFECTION involved, there are certainly very strong emotions here. Later, in the bath with Meimei, Maomao wonders if Meimei's in love - and immediately shies away from the thought, insisting that "love is an emotion I'm sure I left behind in the womb."

Interestingly, this is immediately belied as the Three Princesses (the women who took on the maternal role that her mother discarded) begin to pamper Maomao in the bath, and she relaxes into their touch, flushed with belonging and pleasure at their attention.

Confrontation

In "Blue Roses," (episode 22), everything has built to a head. By hiding Maomao back into the Rear Palace, Jinshi is acting as her shield - and Lakan responds with a power play. Both he and Jinshi are aware that Lakan knows his true identity, so Lakan provokes Jinshi with a political test. "Nothing is impossible" for a man with Jinshi's power - so providing some blue roses at a garden party in early spring should be simple, right? It's a near impossible task and Lakan knows it - even if Jinshi were to figure out how to dye the roses to be the appropriate color, they're still out of season.

Up until now, Maomao's response to Lakan has been to hide. But, with Jinshi's reputation on the line and seeing how worn out he is, Maomao has finally had enough. So she takes Lakan's challenge on and, while she's in the process of growing the hothouse roses so that Jinshi can best Lakan, she diverts unwanted attention from the Crystal Palace's handmaidens by showing Xiaolan how to do a manicure - something that draws attention to the deformed pinky on her hand and changes her perspective of the damage to the finger.

The art should be paid attention to here - we see close up shots of two other people's hands after having the manicure done - Xiaolan and Consort Lihua. In both of these shots, there's some subtle detail paid to their little fingers as well - Xiaolan's is ever so slightly crooked rather than perfectly straight, while Lihua flexes her fingers so that the pinky is extended as she looks at her hands. In the next shot, Maomao has done her nails as well - and when Jinshi draws attention to the fact that he's surprised she would do her nails (like Hongiang, Maomao usually prefers work over fashion), she looks at the finger and remarks that, even though her little finger is twisted and scarred, it looks better than it did before - an acknowledgement that the finger is not actually a hindrance, but a piece of her identity.

Healing

Giving Lakan the opportunity to finally do right by Fengxian is the most grace and forgiveness that Maomao can extend to either of her parents. Their romantic love is certainly sympathetic to an outsider, but Maomao was shaped by the consequences. Lakan's carelessness and Fengxian's willingness to break the rules of the pleasure district in order to deliberately lower her value so that she could be with the man she loved, is the guiding cautionary tale of her life.

But Maomao has also grown over the season. She is neither the terrified little girl, abandoned by mother and father alike (however unintentionally on Lakan's part) nor a teenager full of fear fueled rage at Lakan's persistence. She is Luomen's daughter and proud of that fact - she has found her family and a place in the world. It is with that more adult understanding of the world around her that she dances atop the wall of the Rear Palace, giving her parents the only thing she can, which is her blessing and best wishes for their short future, as she sends her mother off.

Sure enough, who is watching her as she takes a step toward a more mature identity but Jinshi? Other characters have provided a shield between Maomao and Lakan - Verdigris' madam, Meimei and even Luomen. But it is on Jinshi's behalf that Maomao decided to face Lakan herself. She loves her adoptive dad and granny and sisters with all the affection she never received from Fengxian, but Maomao's actions have always spoken much louder than her words - Jinshi protected her and she, in turn, chose to face her childhood bogeyman to help him.

Is it stating the obvious that Maomao tripping and Jinshi catching her is an obvious metaphor for falling in love?

As she dances on the wall, we see the two seemingly disparate sides of her identity coalesce into a whole. The moment she lets down her hair is a uniquely Japanese moment of eroticism (this is why maiko and geisha use the oshiroi that bare the nape of their necks), even as she's also deliberately reapplied her freckles.

The moment she realizes that Jinshi truly sees all of her in a uniquely emotional moment, she trips and is made terrifyingly vulnerable as she nearly goes over the edge - only to be caught safely in Jinshi's arms.

Safely back atop the wall, the little finger comes up one more time - except that this time, instead of looking at the damage inflicted and seeing the scar, Maomao looks at her pinky and shows it to Jinshi, telling him what sounds like a strangely gruesome medical fact. That a fingertip can regrow if cut off. For all the trauma that her biological parents caused her, for all that her pinky will be scarred for the rest of her life, the wound did heal. Maomao has healed - she is capable of friendship, loyalty and love that can inspire devotion - even if she rarely displays open affection.

Love Creates Fear

This motif comes back again, at the end of light novel 4 (what will be the end of Season 2, if the studio continues to stick to two light novels a season for pacing, which I expect they will). Jinshi has officially cast aside his cover as a eunuch and stepped into the political limelight as the Imperial Brother. Maomao, as a result of their adventures, has returned home, to her apothecary shop and, as she works she thinks about how everything has changed.

"Jinshi must have finally gone back to being whoever he really was. Maomao didn't know his real name: she couldn't have used it even if she did. The worlds they lived in were simply too different…Anyway, now that Jinshi was no longer a eunuch, he couldn't get away with keeping some lowborn girl around him…So it was for the best, really, that Maomao had come back to the apothecary's shop in the pleasure district."

As Maomao ruminates to herself about how she will never see Jinshi again, she retreats to what she knows best - medicine. She's got her emotions under lock and key and she's begun experimenting, working on creating a more potent painkiller. However, her pain tolerance is too high to work with her previous methods.

Or, to lay the metaphor bare, Maomao has dealt with abandonment before, but not like this. Her usual methods aren't working - so it's time to up the ante. What she does next is extremely telling.

"'Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure'. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. 'Here goes!'

Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: 'WHAT are you doing?'

Without a word, she turned to see a man in an unusual mask standing in the entryway of the shop…'Done with all your work?' Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

The thought that she and Jinshi are now living in such different worlds that they will never see each other again is painful enough that cutting her finger off in a thinly justified experiment is preferable to feeling her own emotions. What Maomao wants in this moment is a return to the emotional numbness of the past - only this time, she will do the damage herself.

But Jinshi is not Lakan and abandoning Maomao for any reason is simply not an option. Just as he caught her on the wall, Jinshi catches her again. A prince is standing in an apothecary shop on the edges of the red-light district, a place where he should not be - except for the fact that it's where Maomao is.

Connection and Communication

Finally, as a callback toward the end of light novel six, Jinshi and Maomao are beginning to reconnect after Jinshi screwed up and lost a lot of emotional ground in light novel five's epilogue, and he does the following.

"She reached out for the package, which Jinshi had put behind his back, but he planted a palm on her belly to keep her from sitting up and she couldn't reach it. She kicked her legs from sheer frustration and this time he grabbed her ankle. She was just trying to decide what he might be planning when he brushed the tip of his pinky finger along the back of her foot.

'Hrk?!' Maomao choked, squirming...The back of her foot, and her back as well, were hopelessly vulnerable to a gentle brush of the fingers.

'M-Master Jinshi...That's...not...fair!'"

While Jinshi is still the instigator in this scene, this is the the first instance of romantic and sexual contact that Maomao accepts, eventually bursting out laughing - and when he gets that laughter, Jinshi also immediately backs off, accepting that he has pushed her as far as she can go right now. But that first contact was via that tiny fingertip representing love.

His hard-learned patience is rewarded when Maomao is finally willing to speak to Jinshi about how she's feeling about his desire to marry her, first obliquely as they discuss the plot of a very familiar tragic romance, before she addresses the issue directly.

"Instead of answering, she murmured, 'I don't want to be an enemy.' Jinshi gave her a sidelong look as if to ask whose enemy she meant. 'To Empress Gyokuyou,' she said.

Would Jinshi understand what she was saying? If not, that was fine, Maomao thought. There were things even he didn't know.

'You - '

He seemed about to ask her something else when a horse whinnied outside..."

Maomao may be hesitant, she may feel very confused, but she finally gives Jinshi something to work with here - communicating to him not that she simply doesn't care about him that way, but that she has a very real, concrete fear about what a romantic relationship with him would mean, not only for them, but for everyone else around them.

That's a lot to balance on the tip of a pinky.

[loveluvrs]

third time's the charm l oscar piastri x reader

request/summary – Hellooo!! Would you be able to write an oscar piastri blurb with little examples of the reader showing him off and him getting all flustered? For example, drunk in a club with her friends / to make him feel more confident / ect..? 🫶

author's notes – idk if this was what anon was thinking of but this is what i imagined 😭

I walked into the paddock, hand in hand with Oscar. I was talking about the newest episode of the series I had been binge watching. Oscar, as usual, had settled into listening to me attentively, as I yapped on relentlessly without an end in sight. 

I stopped when I bump into Max’s mum and sister. His family was like a second family to me, and I hadn’t gotten a chance to see them yet since Oscar and I started dating. 

“Oh, hi! I’ve missed you guys so much. This is Oscar, you guys already know he’s my boyfriend,” I say excitedly as he reaches his hand out to greet them. “He loves the curry I make just like you guys do. Sometimes I think he may like it even more. I mean, he always begs me to make it whenever he’s visiting home,” I ramble on excitedly. 

“Ooookay, we should get going now. Nice to meet you,” Oscar says before dragging me along with him to Mclaren garage. “What happened? I was talking,” I ask with a pout. 

He laughs as he rolls his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I know, babe. You never stop talking, do you?” he says playfully, “you should remember to breathe every once in a while.”

“Ha ha. Very funny. I wasn’t even talking that much! I was just introducing them to you and telling them how much I love you!” I say defensively with a confused look in my eyes. 

“Love, you were telling them I beg for your cooking, that’s embarrassing!” Oscar says with a slight laugh. It’s only now I stop and notice that he’s turned slightly red, making me giggle. Oscar gives me an unamused look before saying, “don’t laugh at me like that, you do this every time!” 

“I’m sorry,” I say with a giggle, “you know I only do it because I love you. I just want people to know how great you are, promise!” Oscar opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted when some of his team members approach him to talk to him about the upcoming race weekend. “We’re going to talk about this later,” Oscar says softly as he points a finger at me playfully. 

——

I screamed as Oscar won the sprint race in Qatar, and I immediately rushed over to him after the race, peppering him with kisses all over his face. “I’m so so proud of you, oh my god!” I say excitedly. Oscar’s face was already red from the heat, and it somehow turned even redder when he saw the cameras approach us. He whined slightly as he burrowed his face into my neck. “Baby, don’t embarrass me,” he mumbles quietly in a shy voice. 

“My boyfriend just won a sprint race in his rookie season in F1, of course I’m gonna show you off and embarrass you. Don’t expect anything less from me,” I tease as I give him one last kiss before sending him off. 

When Oscar returns to our hotel room that night, I’m already half asleep. He spends a bit of time on his phone while in my arms, trying to keep up with everyone’s messages. He stops when he sees an Instagram post from me, his embarrassed and red face that was caught on the cameras now plastered all over this post. “Did you really have to post that?” He asks me playfully.

“I absolutely did. You’re amazing, and you’re mine. Two things every person should know,” I say playfully, earning a playful eye roll from him. “But I look awful, babe!” He protests, zooming in on himself in the photo. I stifle a laugh. “Thousands of people would disagree, actually. Plus, you don’t look awful, you look happy!” I say softly. 

He gives me an unamused look. “What if I don’t want to look happy?”

I giggle. “Then you are one sick weirdo, Oscar Piastri,” I tease with a soft kiss to his lips. 

——

It’s Oscar’s birthday today, and I have been meticulously planning out every single detail for the past few weeks, including a party with some of his closest friends after qualifying session that day. Despite my protests, Zak also insisted inviting some sponsors to the event and key investors of Mclaren, to act as an opportunity for networking. I reluctantly agreed, although I knew Oscar wouldn’t like it. 

As I thought, Oscar seemed a bit overwhelmed by the amount of people there. He was whisked away to a new person every two minutes, and it was all too much for him to handle. He eventually sat down next to me outside with a loud sigh, leaning his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to invite this many people, but Zak said this and that. And you know how he is, he wouldn’t have stopped until I said yes,” I say with a frown as I clearly notice how he isn’t having the best of times at this party. Instead, he just smiles, leaning in to give me a soft kiss. He stands up again, holding his hand out towards me. “I don’t care. Just be by my side while I’m being interrogated?” He asks playfully. I giggle, and with a nod I take his hand, our fingers intertwining. 

We soon see one of my old friends that I knew from RedBull, and I introduce Oscar formally to her. As always, I begin to praise Oscar as a driver and as a person. And as always, he gets incredibly red. This time, however, I catch myself before it gets too bad, cutting myself off. When my friend walks away, Oscar has a frown on his face. 

“Why’d you stop? You usually go on for longer,” he asks softly. I shrug. “You always get embarrassed by it, so I just realized and quit while I was ahead,” I say quietly in a kind of embarrassed tone that he even noticed I cut myself off. 

Oscar shakes his head. “Oh come on, babe. Yes, I do get extremely embarrassed by it. But rambling on about me is so you, and I never want you to stop, you hear me? If I can’t praise myself then I need someone who will,” he says with a playful smile. 

“Promise? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything,” I say softly.

“No no no, absolutely not. You could never make me uncomfortable, ever. And you rambling on and showing me off is embarrassing, yes, but I love you for it. I promise,” he says softly. 

“Well, if you insist… then I guess I could squeeze in a few rambles here and there..” I say playfully with a giggle. 

[cinnbar-bun]

Would you be willing to write what kind of fan would ace, sabo, shanks, and law for the reader!! I loved your last one!!!

You got it dude! Sorry for taking so long.

Ace, Sabo, Law, and Shanks- Reversed AU HCs

AU: In which YOU are the character of a very famous franchise, and they are regular people who are fans of your series.

Note: GN!Reader, crack, very unserious, SFW

Part 1 with Straw Hats here!

Ace

Broke ass guy who can’t afford anything for you minus like, a bootleg or something small. Has buttons of you. 

Highkey think he would be a menace and just wear something so off with you on it (you are free to decide what that looks like). 

If people ask why he’s got you on his phone or like a keychain of you, he just beams and responds that you’re the love of his life and refuses to elaborate. 

Lies, he WILL be elaborating and making it everyone’s problem. 

Marco wants him to shut up about it. 

Thatch jokes around often and makes cakes of you for Ace on his birthday or something. Ace refuses to eat it for like two seconds before he’s quickly trying to fight off the others from taking a slice. 

Whitebeard has not realized you’re fictional and still asks about meeting you soon… he just wants to meet the one his son keeps raving about. 

Ace has to lie and it becomes a whole ‘my partner is in Canada, actually they can’t see you now.’ 

Whitebeard is so impressed with the fact you travel all over the world <3 wow, you must be so worldly! 

Sabo 

Rich boy who I don’t think would directly get merchandise of you, but he would totally buy things that have your signature color or remind him of you. Very subtle things. I could see him buying one expensive figure of you, but otherwise it’s just subtle things he will proudly wear in public. 

Doesn’t have much time for gaming, so I don’t think he would be playing the mobile gacha games but he will admire the artwork and units of you. 

This is actually a partial truth, he had them at one point but was sinking so much money into your units that Koala had to step in and get him to stop this addiction. 

He’s been doing his best okay… but your alt unit is so tempting he wants to GET IT HE NEEDS TO GET IT LET HIM ROLL ONE MORE ONE MORE ONE MORE- 

Sabo’s phone is now under parental controls and he needs Koala or Dragon’s permission to download or buy any in-app purchases. 

But he’s like, so normal about this, okay? He doesn’t have a problem.

Likes to eat your favorite snacks or food on your birthday as a sort of ‘celebration’ of you. Again, pretty subtle things like buying a dessert you like from that one bakery, or ordering a meal that you ate one time on the show. 

On second thought I could see him having special editions of the manga, but that remains in his office never to be borrowed by anyone. 

Law 

“Why the hell would I be into this?” 

Acts like he’s above watching cringe animes when he’s got better taste in his consumption of media like House MD or Scrubs or something. 

But you know, he’s always getting dragged into silly shit with his friends so everyone is forcing him to watch this popular anime with over 1000+ episodes. 

Law feels like performing surgery on himself with no anesthesia at the sheer number of episodes. 

It isn’t until like 400 episodes in when you’re introduced and everyone swears they can see the light in his eyes return and he’s entranced. 

Suddenly this is his favorite show, although he refuses to entertain that. 

He totally has a few figures of you, but when asked, he just yells that they’re Bepo’s and he’s keeping them safe. 

The others know he’s not going to buy merch so they just buy him silly trinkets of you and he tries to keep lowkey and hidden so no one knows about his love for you. 

He’s not the same man he was 400 episodes ago. He still can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad one. 

But you’ve invaded and latched yourself into his mind and damn it, he’ll keep you there. 

Shanks 

Cringe but free. 

Buggy got him into this show (Buggy made a slip up once and has tried to deny that he’s liked this series since) and Shanks casually watches a few episodes when he’s free. 

Has a couple of figures that a kid Uta always wants to play with (hell no, put that shit back!!!) 

Lies to Uta whenever she asks who this figure is of and he dramatically will hold the figure of you and tell her this is, in fact, who her other parent is. 

Great job, Shanks, you weirdo. Of course, Uta knows when she’s older that he’s lying out of his ass, but when she was younger she was deadset on meeting you. 

So Shanks was forced to include her in his watches so she can see her ‘other parent’. Shanks makes wild stories when Uta asks why you’re in the TV and says you’re so so cool they just had to make a tv show about you. 

He’s the kind of guy who forgets Uta is a kid and whenever something super violent or adult happens, he goes ‘oops’ after a few seconds and shoddily covers her eyes, to the point she can pretty much still see everything. 

So both of them kinda get in a feedback loop where when he gets something, she wants it, and when she wants to do something, he’ll do it when it comes to you. 

You are a staple in that household. Shanks isn’t the best at maintaining your figures but he does remember to dust you off once in a while (mostly after Uta screams at him to keep it in good condition). 

He’s tried to get into the card game (Uta insisted), but he finds the rules too hard and difficult, so him and Uta made an easier version (which he often lies about to be able to win). 

His luck is crappy too when it comes to the blind packs, so when Uta got the rare card of you he was practically gonna wrestle it out of her. 

He’s also weird and rich enough to get any crazy or out there merchandise of you if he felt like it.

[highonmarvel]

hi hope ur doing well. i was thinking, could u do a buckyxreader where hes paralyzed and like needs a caretaker. through some means reader ends up as the caretaker and all is well. but actually bucky was just pretending and hes not realy paralysed and he just pretended to get closer to reader and reader start expresing the idea that she might have to leave for whatever reason and buck does not like that so like he kidnaps her or something. I rlly luv ur work this is the first request iv sent

this is so good, i’m upset i didn’t think of it first. i’m so sorry for taking so long to get back to you, i really hope you enjoy, and thank you so, so much for the love. okay, here it is:

Himalayan Salt

Bucky Barnes: You’re assigned to a notoriously grumpy war vet, but he’s different with you.

content warnings here!

You nod as your supervisor goes over your final notes: James Barnes, World War II veteran, quadriplegic.

You follow her from the overcast weather into a beautiful but modest home in a fairly quiet suburb to meet the man sitting in a wheelchair in the centre of the room.

“Good morning, Mr Barnes,” your supervisor calls, tucking her clipboard under her arm as she waits for him to turn around. When he does, you’re surprised. You hadn’t seen a photo of him beforehand as this had been a pretty impromptu assignment, but you’re sure you were told he was born in 1917, yet he sits looking like he’s in forties, and aging well, at that.

“Hi, Mr Barnes!” you smile warmly at him, and he returns a friendly smile, introducing himself as Bucky and insisting you call him that.

“I just need you to fill out the last of the forms quickly,” your supervisor mutters, waving goodbye to Bucky as she leads you back out to her car.

You’re leaning against the boot of her oldish, red car, pen scratching against paper when she says, “He really likes you.”

“Hm?” you offer, raising your eyebrows but keeping your eyes focused on the form.

She leans her back against the trunk and shifts down a bit, speaking to you but looking over at your handwriting, “He’s known to be grumpy. You see the left arm? I don’t think he likes being dependent, I’ve had to swap out a lot of people.”

“And you didn’t tell me this before I took the job?” you frown, still finishing off the document, “Didn’t think I could handle it?”

“I know you’re capable, but I thought you wouldn’t want it. But listen, the organisation needs this, I don’t know if there’s anyone else we can find for him.”

You complete your signature with a satisfied smile, handing back the clipboard, “Don’t worry, I can do this.”

She nods then gets in her car and drives away, leaving you in the driveway. You stretch your arms then make your way back inside. When you enter the living room, there’s a draft you swear wasn’t here a few minutes ago. Bucky hasn’t moved, but you notice an open window. You furrow your brows as you look down at him, “Can I close that? It’s a bit chilly in here.”

“Go ahead,” he nods, and you walk over, pulling the handle it, and ignoring the recent-looking fingerprint marks on the glass.

***

A few hours into your first day, you’re a little taken aback by how friendly he is; even despite your boss’ warning, you’ve never had a patient so willing to co-operate, especially not veterans — they tend to be angry they need help, or have episodes due to PTSD, but Bucky seems perfectly in his right mind and understanding of both his and your position.

“Did they tell you I was a pain in ass?” Bucky asks before opening his mouth for a spoonful of food.

You laugh as you pull the spoon back, scooping up more of the rice and curry you made to lift to his lips, “Kind of,” you admit, “Said you were grumpy, is that true?”

He smiles, “I tend to be,” he confesses, “But I can’t keep that brooding persona up around you,” he takes a spoonful.

“So that’s what it is?” you raise an eyebrow as you pile the last of the meal onto the utensil, “A persona?”

He swallows the last of it and shakes his head with a grin, “No, but I can’t not be amused around you.”

***

You have no idea why your supervisor said he was difficult, your next few weeks with Bucky are light and fun, and you feel you’re even developing a friendship. You don’t see to him at night, and he has minimal needs during the day — some days it just feels like you’re there to keep him company.

You’re doing so well, in fact, that your supervisor wants to transfer you to a veteran from Vietnam who’s apparently even worse than Bucky (by other people’s stories — to you, if he’s anything like Bucky, he’ll be nice to see), convinced you have some magic touch.

As much as you’re developing affection for Bucky, you have to put work first, and you’re compelled to leave him for the other man who clearly needs you more. Bucky seems to be doing well, you’re sure you can’t be that special, and you’re sure someone else could take care of him just as well, if not better.

“Hi, Buck,” you greet with a smile as you close the door behind you. You hear his motorised wheelchair come rolling down the corridor to greet you.

“Hi, why could you only come in at ten today?”

You usually come in at seven on weekdays and eight on weekends.

“Sorry, I had a meeting,” you sigh, setting your tote bag down as Bucky switches his chair to manual.

“A meeting?” he asks as you take hold of the handles and push him to the other side of the kitchen island.

“Mhm,” you nod as you open the fridge, rummaging around for something to make, “There’s this other guy my boss wants me to help,” you call with your head still in the cold, “A Vietnam vet, no one else in the org will take him.”

You emerge with some eggs and milk, shutting the door with your foot before placing the contents on the island, “Did you eat? I assume Carol made breakfast but I can make more.”

“Are you going to take it?” he inquires, ignoring your question, “The job.”

“I mean, maybe,” you answer, placing your hands on the counter and tilting your head as you think, “I’m not sure yet.”

“But what about me?”

“The other guy needs full-time care, I’d have to spend virtually all my days there, but if I leave, Carol can take over for me, she can go from night to day, she’s amazing, and she doesn’t complain about you, at least not as much,” you wink, but he doesn’t crack a smile.

“Bucky, I didn’t mean to upset you—”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s just that—”

“It’s your job, I get it,” he replies, and you can see the stoicism build up.

“Nothing’s final, yet,” you say as you walk over, “And you’re doing great either way,” you give him a kiss on the forehead, “We don’t have to talk about that, let’s just eat, I’m starving.”

He nods and attempts to smile, but you can tell it doesn’t reach his eyes.

You try to make conversation as you make yourself an omelette, but you can tell he’s not in it, giving short answers and not reacting to your jokes. When you reach to grab the salt, he stops you.

“Not that one,” he says, “Use the pink salt, Himalayan, I swear it makes everything tastes better.”

You grind some onto your food and sit across from him on the island. Digging your fork into it, you see something flash across Bucky’s eyes. Your first thought is hunger, but he’d just eaten and swore he wasn’t hungry. You ignore it as you bring the fork to your mouth, savouring the taste, though it’s not necessarily a chef’s rendition.

It tastes fine, but there’s something off. At first, you think it must be the salt, but it’s not the taste that’s off; usually when you eat, you feel that warmth in your throat and then your stomach, but now, it’s like it went to your head. You press a hand to your forehead, feeling like you’re burning up. Trying to stand, you immediately sway, only not falling by gripping the counter so harshly and hastily you bend a nail. You try to look to Bucky to tell him you’re not feeling well, but he’s out of focus. In fact, he’s not there. Just as you collapse and close your eyes, you feel a tall shadow over you, but you don’t have time to figure out where it’s coming from before you fall unconscious.

***

You groggily wipe at your eyes when you finally stir before turning over to reach for your phone, at first thinking you had had a dream, but your phone’s not there, and the nightstand isn’t yours. You shoot up in panic and look down at your sheets: Bucky’s sheets. Okay, maybe Bucky rang Carol and she came and set you in bed. Your head still hurts, and everything’s a little hazy.

When the door opens, you expect to see Carol, but it’s Bucky.

“Bucky!” you gasp as you throw the sheets off of you.

He gives a lopsided grin, and for the first time you notice how tall he actually is, because he’s standing.

“Christmas miracle?” he offers.

He walks over to you and sets a glass of water on the bedside table.

“That Himalayan salt is really exotic, isn’t it?”

You don’t even have time to process exactly what he means by that, he’s still standing over you, using his arms and legs just fine, in fact, like he’s been doing it every single day forever. You should have suspected something was up; how could a paralysed man stay in such good shape? The thought briefly crossed your mind once when you ran your fingers over his muscled arm, but you brushed it off.

“Bucky! You- you—”

“Are perfectly fine, I am, and you will be too, soon, those drugs just need to wear off. I know you’re having trouble understanding, just drink some water and sleep it off a little longer.”

He leans down to give you a kiss on the forehead, but you dodge him, nearly falling off the bed in the process.

“Woah, there,” he chuckles as he catches you with ease, his reflexes so sharp it’s nearly unnatural, “Now I’m taking care of you.”

You’re not sure if you can’t speak because of the drugs or if it’s because you’re in shock. He gently sets you back down and your head falls against the pillow as you struggle to keep your eyes open, spots of black blocking little bits of your vision.

“I’ve been needing someone, I’ve gone through a few, but you, honey, you’re special, and I knew it from the moment I saw you. You can’t leave me, I still need you.”

✪

[taglist; @cjand10]

[quotergirl19]

This is how I imagine the first 4 episodes of season 3 and the episode 4 cliffhanger could go:

Lord Debling is looking for a young lady who is not consumed with the ton and would be content being less involved in society and more focused on important pursuits like educating herself, someone who wants to be a good wife and mother to his children. Someone he could make happy, because he is very much looking for a love match and Lady Danbury, whom he likes and respects for her sharp wit has told him she knows a young lady who he might be perfect for him, Miss Penelope Featherington. Lord Debling is eager to meet the lady but they have not yet been introduced. Debling has however been introduced to, and quickly became friendly with, Mr. Colin Bridgerton so he made particular note of Colin’s sister Eloise who, in addition to being very pretty, he deduced was also intelligent and uninterested in society.

Effortlessly charming and easy going, Debling managed to surprise Eloise Bridgerton, because for the first time ever, she found herself actually enjoying a bit of friendly conversation with a gentleman of the ton who views women as intelligent and capable, but then she is distracted by Colin beginning a dance with Penelope and watches the two intently; her once trusted and dearest friend feeling like a stranger now. Debling notices the way Mr. Bridgerton seems quite taken with his lovely dance partner so he asks Eloise if the lady is her brother’s intended, assuming the two were courting but Eloise scoffs and says her brother would never court Penelope, insisting Colin is merely being protective and brotherly, watching over Miss Featherington because they are old friends and her father has passed away.

Debling realizes that the curvaceous redheaded beauty is the young woman Lady Danbury wants him to meet, so he watches the way she carries herself and how gracefully she dances with her friend. He wonders how she could still be unmarried when she was so undeniably fetching with blue eyes shining brightly and cascading hair so lovely, Debling simply could not help himself from heading in her direction. Then Penelope’s eyes met his and without any hesitation Lord Debling asks his new acquaintance, Mr. Bridgerton for an introduction to his beautiful friend. Penelope is positively glowing at the compliment and before Colin could blink Debling has taken Penelope’s hand from his and Colin is surprisingly caught off guard by the way his stomach suddenly dropped.

For Debling the introduction sparks something strong and his first dance with Miss Penelope Featherington begins like a dream. Their conversation is a natural and flirtatious banter, everything about meeting this woman feels like fireworks. Watching from the sidelines, Colin is visibly shaken when the handsome lord immediately asks for a second dance which is rarely done unless a couple is quite seriously courting, and Penelope doesn’t take her eyes off her new dance partner until the last moments of the song when she glances at Colin and the look on his face is undeniably intense.

Lady Danbury goes over to Colin to point out that Lord Debling seems quite taken with Penelope and how nice a match they would make. Then she mentions how she’s only ever seen Miss Featherington look at one other man that way. Colin is about to question who when he realizes she is implying that Penelope has feelings for Colin. He insists she thinks of him as a childhood friend and nothing more, so Lady Danbury reminds him that his parents were once children together and old friends have the potential to make remarkable love matches, before walking away. When the dance is over, Colin immediately takes Penelope’s hand insisting they find a private place to speak because things with Lord Debling are moving very quickly and she hardly knows the gentleman. But just as the mood seems to change and Penelope feels certain Colin is not only jealous but also somehow seemed like he was about to kiss her, they hear something and discover Francesa Bridgerton alone with the Earl of Kilmartin, John Stirling and they’re kissing.

Colin is furious and protective over his little sister but keeping a level head because although John Stirling is an Earl and a gentleman, he is also a stranger who neither he, nor his sister really knows. In fact, Francesca had only just met the man that very night, and now this Earl had the power to ruin both his sister and Penelope. But John gives his word that he intends to call on Francesca and offer for her in the morning, and Penelope simply asks that none of them say anything about her and Colin being alone because they were only looking for a place to speak discreetly and she does not want to force Colin’s hand. Colin is fully aware that he had nearly kissed Penelope and she knew it but his sister and her Earl didn’t need to know that so they all parted, promising to keep their indiscretions secret.

Later when Eloise asks her little sister if she’s nervous about marriage, Francesca confides in Eloise that she has fallen in love with the Earl and cannot wait to marry and start her own family with him. She confesses they’ve already kissed and how Penelope and Colin caught them the night they met. Suddenly, Eloise is panicked because she knows that Penelope is Lady Whistleddown and has written about the Bridgerton’s before. And now she was in the perfect position to reveal this secret, so despite the fact that Eloise hasn’t spoken to Penelope in months, she is determined to protect her little sister and she goes to see Pen, ready to swallow her pride and beg her not to ruin her sister but Penelope swears that she would never do that to Francesca because she is like a little sister to her, and she’s happy for the couple.

Eloise is grateful and she finally does the thing she wished she’d done the night she discovered Penelope’s secret, which was to ask her oldest friend why she did it. Why did she start Whistledown? And Penelope tells Eloise everything, including how she had always secretly been in love with Colin, and her heartbreak over what she heard him say right after Eloise walked out of her life, and how alone she has felt for months. Lastly, Penelope admits how sorry she is for keeping secrets and that she misses Eloise and the old friends reconcile.

When Colin finds out at breakfast the next day that Eloise and Penelope have rekindled their friendship and Eloise had plans to visit Featherington house that afternoon, he is visibly effected by the mention of Penelope’s name, and his family takes the opportunity to be a little nosy and very meddlesome, encouraging Colin to pursue Penelope before her new suitor, Lord Debling swoops in and claims her.

Just when they’re certain Colin is going to pack up and leave town again just to avoid getting nagged about marriage, Hyacinth chimes in to say that Lady Penelope Debling has a lovely sound to it, but she would have much preferred Mrs. Penelope Bridgerton since then Pen would officially be a part of the family since she always felt like she belonged with them. At that something inside him seems to snap and Colin asks Anthony for permission to choose a ring from the family collection because since he doesn’t have time to court her properly, the least he could do is give his future wife a nice piece of jewelry.

Later, when Penelope enters her drawing room happily thinking she’s going to spend some much needed time with her best friend who she’s missed terribly, she walks in to find Colin has come for a visit and been in conversation with her mother, having secured permission to take Penelope on a carriage ride. They were to be unchaperoned so he promised to bring Miss Featherington just around the square and then straight back to Bridgerton house for tea with Eloise and his family.

It was a particularly romantic but brief carriage ride where Colin confesses that seeing Penelope with Lord Debling made him realize that he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t try to win her. Then they were kissing and touching and it was wildly inappropriate, ruinous behavior but they didn’t care because nothing had ever felt so right before and they were so happy to be together. And before it even dawned on Penelope that she had yet to tell Colin the truth about her secret life as London’s most notorious gossip, they’d arrived at Bridgerton house and announced their engagement to his family.

[melrosing]

anyway I'm gonna start posting My Own Robert's Rebellion Adaptation ep by ep because.... GRRM's never gonna do it?? I have too much time?? both?? stay tuned

rules are I can fuck with timelines a little as a treat, but not so much that events/character ages & development are changed. so for example Aerys doesn’t actually make Tywin hand till four years into his reign I think, but who actually cares when Jaehaerys died, let’s say it was a little later and that Tywin was made Hand straight off

finally I am picturing a two season show where this one ends w Harrenhal. anyway

Next Part: Episode 2

Episode 1: Aerys' Dad Dies

We open on the body of King Jaehaerys II, lying in state at the Sept of Baelor. There’s a silent congregation standing around him, and closest of all his children, Aerys and Rhaella. Between them stands their young son, Rhaegar

At the King’s council as they discuss next steps from here. Right now, Aerys seems faintly charming, albeit with a jagged edge. There’s mention of Rhaella’s new pregnancy, and a fear that the distress of losing their father might cause her ill health. Everyone wants the transition to Aerys’ rule to be smooth as possible, so he must choose a Hand asap. His council have ideas; Aerys has one of his own 🦁

We are introduced to Tywin Lannister, travelling in a golden coach (obvs) to King’s Landing. With him are Joanna and their year-old twins. Tywin looks pleased with himself; Joanna notes he’s not Hand yet, but Tywin has no doubt he will be

The Lannisters are greeted jovially by Aerys, who is a little too familiar with Joanna, making her, Tywin and Rhaella equally uncomfortable. Aerys is introduced to the Lannister twins (inadvertantly meeting his own future murderer - 🚨 kill bill sirens 🚨 ), and welcomes all. Generally just appears a bit too upbeat for a funeral, because as a human being he is just fundamentally Off

The funeral: burning Jaehaerys’ body in a ‘manmade pyre’. Aerys mumbles they used to have dragons for this, the implication being that there’s something faintly undignified about this for a Targaryen. Rhaella weeps, and Rhaegar stares hard into the flames because he is a weird 👏 kid 👏

Rhaella and Joanna take a walk through the gardens of the Red Keep. Rhaella implies having noticed Aerys’ behaviour towards her, and that she has noticed it before. Joanna quietly asserts that she does not invite it. Rhaella says she knows - Aerys is like that

Aerys and Tywin meet for post-funeral drinks in Aerys’ solar. Aerys comments that he finds Rhaegar kind of strange and bookish, and believes he has too much of his mother in him. More generally, we see both the familiar and the fractious in how Aerys and Tywin engage, and have some sense of the two being childhood friends (insofar as either of these men even know what a friend is ❤️). Aerys offers the position of Hand to Tywin. Tywin plays a little hard to get, but ultimately agrees. A rare Tywin smile is witnessed x

The coronation: Targ aesthetic dialled up to eleven, because I imagine the more insecure Targaryen kings would cling to it in the absence of dragons. Aerys passes the dragon skulls on his way to the throne (some heavy-handed visual foreshadowing by urs truly xo). Watching on are the heads of the greathouses and their young scions: Aerys death stands all about him in the room, even if he doesn’t know it yet. Rhaella too receives a crown, and somehow doesn’t looked thrilled about it

Final scene sees Rhaegar sitting crosslegged on the floor of his bedchamber with a book and a candle, singing a Valyrian song to himself - the words are not translated

[fruitwaterz]

JFabe/AbeFK: The Ultimate Queerbaiting (short essay n rant)

(Clone High Season 3 spoilers,,, beware!!!)

Hey everyone it's fruit/juno/nova aka MTVyaoi BACK with another banger essay

So if you guys didn't know already (but I'm pretty sure everyone in the Clone High community does), season three of Clone High, also known as season 2 of the Clone High reboot just premiered yesterday. Thanks to a mutual handing me over their Max account, I was able to watch the episodes in one day, and it's safe to say that it was WAY more better than season 2, despite its ups and downs.

Of course, the reboot boosted some ships into popularity, such as JoanFK (rip), Kahlopatra (rip), Tophabe, but one ship that never really came around to being popular was Jfabe, the relationship between JFK and Abe in the Clone High series.

In the very last episode of season 2, many speculated that JFK and Abe would somehow possibly get together in season 3 (while others just,,, thought they would remain friends). I made an analysis about JFK himself, and in the end, I included a bit of some Jfabe speculation. And during the time the reboot had ended, Jfabe shippers and Tophabe shippers were technically at war. But in the very end, no one was really happy, I would say.

With the new season out, and especially episode 3…yeah, there are some things that need to be discussed. Because let me tell you, I am actually. so mad

Many of the Jfabe shippers collected context clues, hints, and everything that could've hinted at the two becoming canon, only for those to be contradicted really quickly when it came to the Mary episode and the finale. Hell, when the trailer came out, most of us feared the idea of Abe not getting with JFK (actually, this would be most Abe shippers worst nightmare) and getting with someone who we never even knew.

Before I actually do get into the Mary episode, however, I wanted to bring up my favorite episode out of the series, and that is Bible Humpers: A Much Needed Praycation.

Season 3 Episode 3:

Bible Humpers introduces a subplot in which JFK gets tired of partying and having a concerning amount of sex with girls, reminders that…this is during his 17th birthday (from what I could remember), and that's sort of why he was feeling like that. From there on, he decides to become catholic and join The Prayer Pals club, hosted by Lady Godiva, a new character. However, Abe is upset about this because he believed that JFK would change so much that he would eventually forget about Abe. Abe was planning a 6th month Boy-nniversary for the two, and due to JFK being too busy with his newfound hobby, Abe steps in to stop things.

Now, this episode is agreeably, one out of the three Jfabe episodes to exist, the others being Clone Alone and Litter Kills: Literally (The reason why I count Clone Alone as a Jfabe episode, is mainly because of the scene where JFK and Abe become friends…a duo of bros that'll remain friends for the rest of their lives, more on that later, though).

Something about the episode was suspiciously fruity, with Abe being worried about JFK, giving him a new wristband to match his, pulling him really close, offering to let him take his virginity, and even went out of his way to bake a giant cake for him. Hell, at the very end of the episode, he leaves a box with the purity ring in it on JFK's doorstep, and we could even see JFK's soft smile when he read his note.

(Also pspspsp we could see two doves in the sky all while Abe is walking to JFK's house. Two doves represent love.)

(thanks to my mutual)

Next, the Mary episode. In the middle of the episode, JFK offers to have sex with Abe, even taking his shirt off and still asking Abe if he wants to go through with it. Stuff like this was mentioned in the beginning of episode 1. Not gonna go into the sex too much, because they're just teenagers.

It seems that the dynamic between these two are quite literally back and forth, they could be friends, and they could go back to arguing. Abe wants to make JFK happy, JFK cares for Abe, but either gets too riled up or feels like Abe’s ruining things for him.

So with all of this build up and hints, Jfabe was surely gonna become canon one way or another, right?

Well…I wouldn't exactly say that. Because during the finale, Abe suddenly catches feelings for Joan again, and JFK randomly ends up with Harriet, despite the fact that they both established that they didn't feel much for each other! And this was back in season 2 episode 6, where they both kiss again in a classroom, but come to the realization that they actually don't like each other at all. I like the idea of JFK x Harriet, but it just happened way too fast, and I really wish I could ignore that.

Which brings me to my argument: we were queerbaited.

(And if random jfabe dislikers come and tell me that it was bound to happen, I'm gonna lose my mind.)

We are sitting here, begging for some sort of MLM relationship. We've already had Kahlopatra, which is a same-sex female relationship (Good day for sapphics, I love that ship to bits and was disappointed in the fact that they broke up). So it wouldn't have hurt to at least have two of the main male characters date each other. But oh, yeah, let's have them being suspiciously fruity to each other as humor and nothing but humor, because in the end, it was basically just watered down to that.

It even makes me confused in a way, because what was the point of “Duo of bros who'll remain friends for the rest of our lives?” What was the reason? Did they hint at something, only to throw this away at the very last minute? Seriously, we could see background male characters get into relationships, yet not have two of the main characters get together. It's odd, yet not surprising.

Clone High has this tendency of making up random relationships, Harriet x Toussaint, Joan x Confucius (which I like however, don't come for me), Mary x Abe, just fuck all. And now, it's JFK x Harriet. Yet, it seems as if it would hurt them to make a hinted at relationship…canon. It confuses me. Are they gonna make them date in season 4? Are we even gonna get a season 4? Because the show has to get renewed in order for that to happen.

I am not mad at the writers for not making them canon because of the ship dynamic itself, I'm angry because there were so many hints, so much build up only for them to go nowhere with this. Because personally, I think it would've made the show a bit more interesting. To have two of the main male characters date. That's all I asked for, and we got nothing out of it.

You could say I'm seething over a cartoon, but I don't care!!! Cartoon or not, the ship is really important to me and most Jfabe shippers, so seeing their relationship go nowhere and the two randomly getting into M/F relationships sort of hurts. And I'm saying that as someone who isn't even a veteran Jfabe shipper, I shipped them days after season 2 ended. Both the original JFK and Abraham Lincoln (theoretically) were bisexual, so it just makes me even more puzzled.

I'm not exactly making this essay to cancel Clone High just for a silly ship, this is really just a healthy way to take out my sadness and disappointment. A vent essay, if you will. And it really is just what happened, so many interactions that could be taken as romantic, only for them not to get with each other.

Honestly, if the show writers didn't intend to queerbait us, I can only ask…“How?”

Anyway that's the end of my short essay about me screaming and crying about a ship between two white boys, subscribe and hit that notification button for more screaming and crying about a ship between two white boys. fruit signing out

[sonkitty]

Crowley Name Usage or Lack Thereof in Season 2

I've noticed some oddities about how the characters in Good Omens 2 both use and do not use Crowley's name and one part, in particular, where the issue is not just where his name is not used; he seems to be significantly ignored.

It's possible I missed some instances of his name usage, but I think after the number of times I've listened to the season, most of this is correct.

Addressed and Referenced by Name

For the scenes in the present day, there are only two characters who both address and refer to Crowley by name: Aziraphale and Shax.

In the 1941 minisode, Furfur does actually both address and refer to Crowley by name. In the present, there is zero acknowledgment between Crowley, Furfur, and Aziraphale of their encounter from 1941, in episode 6.

In 1941, the Nazis in Hell refer to Crowley by name and two of them had addressed Crowley by name in the season 1 flashback.

Addressed by Name but Not Referenced by Name

Beelzebub addresses Crowley by name, twice, in season 2, episode 1 (The Arrival). After that, they never address or refer to him by name for the rest of the season. They ask about info on Gabriel from one of the other demons in Hell and they talk with Shax, but there is no visible effort to directly contact Crowley again. He isn't even "the traitor" anymore.

Saraqel addresses Crowley by name in episode 6 while also saying they knew Crowley when he was an angel (in other words, before he chose that name for himself). They do not reference him by name at any point and only as "the enemy" when talking to Muriel, yet still allowing him to see Gabriel's trial. No reason is known for why they would allow it.

Referenced by Name but Not Addressed by Name

Muriel references Crowley by name when reporting to Michael and Uriel though how they got his name is never explained or shown. They also call him grumpy though he was not actually grumpy for most of what we see of their interaction. He just sounded grumpy when he first walked into the shop without knowing they were there. Muriel also did not know Crowley was a demon until being informed by Uriel. In the entire time that Muriel is with Crowley, notably taking him up to Heaven and generally being there with him, they do not ever address him by name.

The Metatron addresses Crowley as "Demon", not by name. When he is shown to be referring to Crowley by name, it is through a narrated flashback by Aziraphale that strongly suggests what Aziraphale is saying is a lie. The only other reference, besides "he" pronouns, that we have to go by is the Metatron calling Crowley "your friend" to Aziraphale.

Never Addressed or Referenced by Name

Nina - The season establishes early that Nina recognizes the regulars of her coffee shop based on what they order and that she thinks of Maggie as "skinny latte" so when Nina refers to Crowley by his "six espressos" coffee order three different times (see the 666 there?), it's not as startling or unsettling that she never calls him by his name. However, 1) he is not a regular, and 2), she is the only character we see being introduced to him by name from Aziraphale. Another note is that she refers to him as the one who was struck by lightning the night it seemed to happen and then even addresses him as the one who was struck by lightning the next day. By the time episode 5 rolls around, he does not seem to be either of these things to her anymore. She does not address or refer to him in these ways. When talking to Maggie at the ball, it sounds like she thinks of Crowley as one of "them/they" with Aziraphale. When talking to Crowley directly, he is only "you".

Maggie - There is extremely little interaction between Maggie and Crowley in all of season 2 so it's again, not that startling or unsettling that she never addresses him by name and doesn't have much opportunity to refer to him by name either. She might not even know his name until episode 5 when the bookshop is attacked and can hear Aziraphale refer to Crowley by name then. Nonetheless, it's true and mostly noticeable that she and Nina are taking all this extra care to speak to Crowley at a very specific time about interfering with their lives, then interfering in his life by giving him bad relationship advice, and still do not use his name. Like Nina, to Maggie, Crowley is only "you".

Jim/Gabriel - This is where the lacking usage of a name sticks out the most and goes beyond just the name. Jim never addresses Crowley by name. They do have substantial interactions, as opposed to Crowley and Maggie. Crowley is the one who triggers an extra voice and purple eyes out of Jim/Gabriel twice. He's the one who can prod far enough to learn that Gabriel put his memory in a matchbox, then took it out. Between all of that, they talk about gravity, the vavoom matchmaking, Crowley's own concerns and anger at Gabriel for Aziraphale, telling Jim to jump out a window, stopping him, offering and making him chocolate, and not once, in all that time, does Jim address Crowley by name. He knows Crowley's name because when Aziraphale says it during episode 2, Jim (actually referred to as Gabriel in the subtitles by the way) explains, "He went away, while you were thinking."

When Gabriel recovers his memories, the first person he recognizes and names is Aziraphale. To Aziraphale's right, Crowley is (presumably still there) standing. Aziraphale hesitantly smiles, turns his head to his right, which suggests he is possibly looking towards Crowley, and Aziraphale doesn't say anything. Very, very briefly, Gabriel seems to follow this gaze. As in, he follows Aziraphale's eyes where one might find Crowley. If you are searching frame by frame, it's actually still easy to miss that this part happened. I only picked up on it after repeated views without going frame by frame while drafting this post. Gabriel does not acknowledge Crowley at all. In fact, we, the audience, don't see Crowley either during this part. There is no hesitation, no pause, no recognition, nothing. It's as if Gabriel briefly glimpsed an empty space. His head turns towards Aziraphale's direction again for a moment, then turns left, this time blinking and passing over where Crowley should be completely, and he addresses the angels (Michael, Uriel, Saraqel). Again, we, the audience, like Gabriel, did not see Crowley. Next, Gabriel acknowledges the demons with a simple, "Oh eesh. You guys," then hones in on Beelzebub.

When Gabriel is looking at Beelzebub, we can finally see that Crowley is standing next to Aziraphale, so one assumes he didn't go anywhere and was simply ignored. After all, none of the other characters react as if he briefly disappeared.

Gabriel doesn't realize Nina and Maggie are there either. They are further away and even behind him when he is talking to the other angels. Point being, he doesn't miss their presence in the same way he seems to have missed Crowley's.

Crowley eventually leaves to escort Maggie and Nina out, then returns.

When Crowley suggests Alpha Centauri as a place to go, it's just generally assumed Gabriel and Beelzebub took his suggestion, but if you look closely, you'll see they don't actually acknowledge him. They do not look at him. They do not thank him. They do not say yes or no to that specific place and just react in a more general term of the idea of leaving and never coming back. As already said, it's just generally assumed that's what they do when they disappear. The main reason this sticks out is because of how Gabriel passed over Crowley earlier. Gabriel still does not look at Crowley or address Crowley in any way, and neither does Beelzebub by this point.

Michael and Uriel have small enough roles that I don't think it matters as much, but they do not address or refer to Crowley by name either. Uriel goes so far as to refer to him as "the demon" when Muriel is giving a report.

Other Notes

In Before the Beginning, the angel who eventually becomes Crowley very obviously does not give his name. It looks like he could be snubbing Aziraphale, or if this is an altered or inaccurate memory, the name itself has been edited out or forgotten.

When the angels arrive at the bookshop in episode 2, they never bring up Crowley at all. When the powers of Heaven and Hell meet at the bookshop in episode 6, no one addresses or refers to Crowley by name though they are clearly aware of his presence as they do still actually react and listen to him. These two things are understandable in the context they happen but figured since I'm looking at where characters are lacking in using his name, I should at least note it.

Uncertain

Without the Jim/Gabriel parts, this could just be how things played out and how the characters feel the need to talk to or about him. Not everyone needs to address or refer to Crowley by name all the time. But the Jim/Gabriel part does stick out. Plus, if you compare to how Aziraphale is addressed or referred to throughout the season, you can find the difference being even more stark (Nina, Maggie and Jim/Gabriel all use his "Mr. Fell" name at at least once compared to the zero times for Crowley).

I don't know why it happens, but I feel like the fact that it does has some meaning.

Video

Here is a slowed down version of the point I'm talking about with how Gabriel seems to miss Crowley's presence. There are two places where you would think he might see Crowley. Immediately after Aziraphale, that's where Gabriel should see Crowley. He glances towards Aziraphale again, then when he's turning his head and blinking, that's the second instance where you would think he would see Crowley. He has no reaction to Crowley's presence either time.

[oneatlatime]

Zuko Alone

I'm hoping for some Appa this episode. It's been too long since he's gotten any good sight gags.

Zuko is cosplaying Clint Eastwood. He's also back to being stupid pale this episode.

You know it's a good thing that Zuko's not in the Fire Nation anymore because he really would have sucked at being Fire Nation. Robbing pregnant women is probably kindergarden level stuff for them.

How is Zuko in such bad shape? Last time we saw him he had a cave full of spoils robbed from rich people. Did he not bother to pack at least some of that stuff? Actually, not thinking far enough ahead to pack would be pretty in character.

Oof that would rub me the wrong way. Not enough money for a meal, but sure, let's use totally edible eggs as ammo.

Where'd the egg go?

Who is the scarred up hat wearing vampire and what happened to the real Zuko? Imposter Zuko just elected to not be provoked into a fight. Real Zuko would already be setting things on fire.

Just a bunch of thugs. Yep. It's consistently awesome how many of the facets of war this show can cover.

Imposter Zuko and Song's horse bird just got kidnapped. Did not see that coming.

Zuko kind of has arm bandages like Sokka has this episode. Also love the character detail that the boy has scraped knees.

Is the kid's dad the same guy as the man at the store? Or maybe this is a one haircut town?

So the guy who was near to fainting off his horse bird this morning is now turning down freely offered food? Could Zuko please shelve his pride for five minutes? Kudos to the mom for accurately reading his distaste for charity and turning it into a request for aid though. Although covering for the boy's egg trick is worth at least a meal.

Tangent!

I don't get Zuko. How can he still have so much pride when he's wearing rags and starving himself to feed Song's horse bird? I'm quite shameless when it comes to accepting help and I've never, ever been able to understand the whole 'too proud to accept charity' mindset. I'm always up for some charity. I have enough manners to offer to do the dishes after, but if you're offering free food I'm eating it. And I've never been in a situation as desperate as Zuko's. So I don't get this.

ok tangent over.

Peak rich kid behaviour. I hope those nails aren't expensive otherwise Zuko doing work for food might end up with this family out of pocket.

Is the wood grain on this ladder an actual photograph of wood grain?

Zuko has more patience this episode than he had for all of season 1 combined. He's also never gone this long without yelling. Either proximity to young children activates Zuko's otherwise mostly slumbering decency, or to fit him into a Fistful of Dollars homage the writers had to make him out of character.

If I had been in this situation when I was a kid, if I had been a) this visibly bored, and b) this nosy around guests, I would have been given a hammer and a bag of nails in three seconds flat. Also, nice to see a Sokka face from Zuko.

I get that 'a man without a past' is a staple of the cowboy genre, but the boy's father bringing up the privacy of the past twice in like two minutes makes me think he's done stuff he doesn't want to talk about. Seems both the parents have read Zuko right though.

Finally! Some pretty! I have been suffering! This may be the first really good pretty all season!

Bad news for the Appa decor on my blog. He may have been supplanted in my affections.

Two things: first, Zuko is a carbon copy of his mom. Second, That is way too much forehead.

Having Zuko's mom introduce herself by talking about the lengths mothers will go to for their children is not giving me foreshadowing anxiety at all.

Azula's been a bitch since birth. Noted.

Sir, your eyebrows. Also, yeah, I wouldn't want to play with her either.

Yikes this is making my teeth itch and my skin crawl. Calling it now, she's rotten to the core.

Zuko and Azula's dad has some weak ass genes. BOTH of his children are carbon copies of their mom.

Also, I was not expecting Zuko's very stupid ponytail to be a pre-scar thing. It is much better with a full head of hair.

If I had spent my childhood hanging out with an untouchable princess who set things on my head on fire for fun whenever I involuntarily displayed emotion, I'd be gloomy and apathetic in self defense too.

Sokka in this episode in spirit, if not in person.

Seriously that's the same face three times over!

Um, no? If Iroh doesn't make it back from the front, doesn't his son become next in line to be Firelord?

Can you hear all the unspoken "father thinks that" and "father says that" in front of every one of Azula's opinions in this whole scene? I stand by my assertion that she's awful anyways, but she's also obviously drunk much too much of her dad's koolaid, if you know what I mean.

This kid is going to get into so much trouble one of these days. Provoking the soldiers, nagging the mysterious stranger with the mysterious past, and now taking his weapons? Kid's sweet but he really needs to learn when to stop pushing his luck.

Stabbing dead, dried wood sounds like a great way to utterly annihilate the edge on those. Hope Zuko packed a whetstone.

Where is this patience coming from? I don't understand and it's BUGGING me.

Hold on. Technical problems.

My very basic DVD player sometimes has difficulty with these disks. Whatever happened between the above two screenshots, I've missed it. So picking back up from the one on the right...

Either these soldiers are impressively cowardly (which, yeah) or Zuko's really been working on his death glare, because they've got him outnumbered and out-armoured and they still back off.

OH it's parallels! Zuko's cousin and the boy's older brother. Got it. Kind of a false parallel though. Grandson of the Firelord does not equal earth kingdom conscript.

Give the demonstrably impulsive and nosy child a knife. That'll work out just fine I'm sure. Pretty sad the kid glommed on to Zuko so quickly, but it's also yet another realistic representation of the consequences of war. This show's good.

*shudders* theatre kids.

She's tiny! Do you know how darkly humourous it is to watch a two foot tall baby spout her father's murderous nonsense? Once again, in this whole scene, not a word out of Azula's mouth is actually Azula's.

"What is wrong with that child?" Apart from budding homicidal and psychopathic tendencies? Her dad. Her dad is what's wrong with that child.

Their dad has no subtlety at all. And also no brain? You think a day after the firelord finds out one of his family died is the right time to very boorishly make a play for the crown with you daughter as a prop? Could you possibly come up with a better demonstration of why this guy shouldn't be in charge?

How did this asshole land such a nice wife?

Yep. Siding with the old firelord on this one.

Does flashback Zuko sleep in his day clothes? Because that's not ok.

I like that their mom sees straight through Azula's lying here. She knows her daughter.

In a move that should surprise no one, everything Zuko touches turns to shit, as usual.

It's the Mexico filter!

Absolute truth from Zuko in that monologue. He's got them pegged. Too bad it fell on deaf ears. It's Zuko's curse, that whenever he approaches being remotely reasonable, he happens to be surrounded by people who will react in such a way that Zuko learns to equate being reasonable with failure.

An earthbender. The bare feet should have clued me in.

Last season Zuko and Iroh laid waste to like ten of these guys. And Iroh didn't even have pants. So what gives? Is he that starved?

Ursa pulling a Mufasa.

Don't answer don't answer don't answer

And he does.

Zuko is so very good at completely misinterpreting the point.

So we can add thief to the list of things that make Azula awful. Also that delivery of "who's going to make me? Mom?" is chilling. Zuko's lost his only defender inside this atrocious family and she knows it, he knows it, hell the turtleducks probably know it.

His dying wish? You guys buying that?

Ozai. That's his name. I'd forgotten that.

So... something something dead firelord something something missing mom something something maybe Azula wasn't actually lying this time?

Final Thoughts

The title wasn't kidding. Let's rename the show 'Avatar: the Guy who's Really Bad at Capturing Him' while we're at it.

There is now no way whatsoever that Zuko is not going to be redeemed. No writing team would invest that much energy and a whole episode into a character we're not ultimately supposed to root for. So somehow he's going to end up joining the Gaang. Don't know how he'll pull that one off. He's done some pretty not great stuff. And it's not like the Gaang watched this episode and unlocked his tragic backstory.

Speaking of, what prompted these reflections? I could understand if Zuko started to contemplate his cousin and the events surrounding his loss in the war after he learned about the family's older brother, but he was having flashbacks before he even got to town. Usually when there are backstory bits, there's a good reason to show them at that time, like how the Storm prompts Aang to think about the last storm he was in, or seeing a boat from his father's fleet prompts Sokka to remember what his dad told him. So what caused Zuko's memories to give him situationally appropriate flashbacks?

Pretty funny that he found the Nice Earth Kingdom Family that Azula predicted for him. And they are really nice! Either Zuko is an open book or the parents' social intelligence is off the charts because they're giving him exactly what he needs to feel at ease after barely a single conversation.

Speaking of Azula, I'm not surprised to find that she's always had deeply awful tendencies, even as a child of (I'm guessing) less than ten. But it cannot be ignored that, from the moment her father took a liking to her (as a tool to boost his own greatness, if not as a person), she didn't stand a chance. You can tell by the number of times that the stuff coming out of her mouth is a thinly veiled repetition of her father's unfiltered opinions, that she's been spending lots of time listening to him, probably while he puts down her mom and brother and talks about how she's the special one. You know what I'm getting at. Azula never stood a chance once her father got involved, and her mom lost the ability to influence her once her father started giving Azula praise for objectively wrong behaviour. That being said, Azula is awful even when she doesn't need to be awful for her father's approval, like when she's with her friends, so it's not all her father's doing. She's not a good person but she also had plenty of help to become that.

I guess Zuko and his mom are Fire Nation anomalies? And maybe Iroh has become that since his son died and he lost the war?

How on earth did Zuko survive as long as he did in the palace without his mom to protect him? What a no-win situation to be in. The only person in a whole nation with empathy.

This episode does makes Season 1 Zuko make more sense. He's been larping his dad as a defense mechanism for surviving the Fire Nation/probably a very futile effort to earn his approval. Although Zuko doesn't seem to care much for his dad if the tone he takes with him by the turtleduck pond is any indication.

Being banished was the best thing that ever happened to Zuko. The more distance between him and his remaining non-uncle family, the better. Between prioritizing his crew over capturing the avatar in the Storm, releasing the Avatar in the Blue Spirit, and now defending a random earth kingdom child this episode, it's hilarious how much Zuko HASN'T learned the lesson that Ozai banished him for not knowing. Don't get me wrong; that's a good thing. This episode plainly shows that behaviour that pleases Ozai is behaviour that should be unlearned as quickly as possible.

Zuko completely missing the point of his mom's last instruction is delightfully on the nose. But it also makes sense, which I may talk more about later.

How did Zuko hold on to his temper (and his volume) for a whole episode?

How did a show named after the main character get away with an episode that doesn't feature him at all? As a concept, this is such a strange episode. The writers were like "how can we kick start the woobification of Zuko? I know! A Spaghetti Western!" and it worked. Who comes up with that?

I now want at least as much, if not more, of Sokka and Katara's childhood via flashbacks. And more Gyatso please. If they can devote a whole episode to the childhood of a guy who isn't even a team member yet, they can show me some Sokka childhood shenanigans as a palette cleanser.

I really don't know what conclusion to draw about this episode. The writers have given me a massive backstory/trauma dump and I'm honestly like:

[luckthebard]

So I was asked a few times to expand on my thoughts about Narrative vs World-Building in Critical Role and this was hard to articulate but I'm going to give it a go. This is mostly about the distinction between whether a thread was "abandoned narrative" or just world-building the party didn't actually need to deal with per the narrative they were pursuing.

The easiest example of this moving from C2 into C3 is Ruidus. I've seen a few comments to the tune of "Bells Hells are going to explore the moon lore the Mighty Nein abandoned!" But the M9 didn't abandon anything, because Ruidus wasn't their story, narratively. They found out some random, weird, and intriguing facts about Ruidus as they went through their story, but that's because Matt loves that funky red moon and was fleshing out the lore around it as they were playing C2 (by the end he was even writing Call of the Netherdeep) and so he inserted it like an Easter Egg. It's not an "abandoned plot" it's literally just world-building texture the M9 encountered that now has relevance for a new adventuring party.

Another example is Molaesmyr. I've seen a few suggestions that the M9 "dropped" a plot-line connected to exploring that weird fantasy Chernobyl city. But...did they? Caduceus and his family fixed the Blooming Grove, which was Cad's quest. Other people might subsequently go try to find out what's going on with the Savalierwood, but that was never a M9 problem. Even Cad's visions of the Blooming Grove being destroyed near the end of the campaign were about Cognouza, not the more terrestrial mystery. And to cap it all off, Matt set up plot hooks for Molaesmyr in Explorer's Guide to Wildemount and then specifically said that he didn't want to definitively answer anything about it in the C2 wrap-up, because he'd included it in the book hoping people would creatively flesh it out at their own tables. The cool forest that's rotting that they encountered in episode 27 or so isn't an abandoned plot, necessarily, it's just something that makes the world feel more real. World-building.

And finally, what more strongly prompted this: in the wake of his C3 cameo I've seen Ludinus described as "the BBEG" of C2 and idk y'all but he...wasn't. At all. He was an antagonistic force in the world but he was never the target of a narrative the M9 needed to resolve. He was actually pursuing the same goal as the M9 during the peace talks, for all he started the war. He knew what Trent was doing and therefore sucks, but was not Trent himself. He was a bad person who several of the Nein noted they would attempt to combat in their epilogues, but so entrenched politically and so powerfully magical that such an effort would take years and not be feasible for the mechanics of a D&D campaign. He's less an unresolved plot than a Force in the world, with whom the M9 interacted several times.

Anyway, I'm going to try to conclude this by pointing out that things that look in hindsight like they could have been important in one campaign but were focused on more in the following campaign most likely weren't fleshed out at all when they were first mentioned. Think how much more real and well-defined the Dwendalian Empire was in C2 compared to when it was introduced as Taryon's homeland in C1. As the DM builds the world, there will be things introduced for flavor and depth that become important later on, without initially including a plot hook.

[descendant-of-truth]

What I like about this scene is how it tricks you into thinking it's just here for a quick laugh when it's actually the beginning of a surprisingly deep look into part of Rockman's character - specifically, how he handles lying.

See, Rockman's never really... lied in this show before, I don't think. He doesn't usually have a reason to, but even then I would describe him as being honest to a fault.

But when put under the pressure to seem cool to Trill, a young child who idolizes him, he cracks and tells probably the most bold-faced lie of his life: that he was totally not scared by a monster movie. He's never been scared of anything! Hasn't even screamed once!

And it's. such a goofy lie to tell?? It works on Trill because he's like five years old, but to the viewer who knows him better than that, it just comes off as a funny, harmless thing to say.

Rockman does not see it as either of those things.

To him, it's not cute that Trill takes him at his word by virtue of being a young child who doesn't know any better. If anything, that's part of the problem; maybe if Trill didn't believe him and just teased him about it instead, he wouldn't have to worry about lying so much. But as it stands, Trill is believing a lie, and it eats at Rockman throughout the episode.

And at this point you kinda start to guess how the rest of it is going to go down. Rockman will eventually come clean to Trill, who's gonna say that Rockman is still cool even if he screams at scary movies, and they'll all have a big laugh and move on.

This is not what happens.

Instead, Rockman digs his heels into the lie further, stopping himself from screaming every time Trill tries to scare him (which is a realistic toddler thing to do if I've ever seen one), until he eventually loses his trademark patience and yells at him to cut it out.

And in a move that defies the usual expectation of setup and payoff, Rockman never actually. tells Trill that he lied. and there's a part of me that's bothered by that, but what we get in exchange is so interesting to me that I can't help but feel it makes up for it.

Something to note is that, throughout this episode, it's stated that Trill likely sees Rockman as an older brother, and so he's affectionately referred to as "big brother" by Roll a few times in a teasing sort of way.

It's all fun and sweet and par for the course; I think everyone knew that Trill was going to act as a younger brother to Rockman as soon as he was introduced, so having characters bring attention to it isn't unusual. And Rockman doesn't really comment on it either way... until Netto calls him that at the end of the episode.

This. this is the scene that really makes me go insane. just absolutely bonkers

Because like, okay. listen. this is only episode four of the season. it's not at all surprising that Rockman doesn't consider himself to be Trill's brother, because he's known him for all of three days and he's only been talking for one of them.

But that phrasing.

If he had just left it at "I'm not his big brother," we'd all have a nice chuckle and go "sure buddy, I'd like to see you say that by the end of this season." But he has a qualifier for WHY he's not Trill's brother, and it's because he lied to him. about not being scared of a movie.

And notice how matter-of-factly he says this, too. Remember how troubled he was earlier by the fact he had lied at all? Well it seems that, after perpetuating that lie for the rest of the episode, he's gotten past those doubts and reached acceptance in the idea that... he's lost his brother privileges.

Suddenly we've learned something very interesting about how Rockman handles lying, and it's that, while he's surprisingly capable of keeping a lie up, he finds that even one as innocent as this makes him disqualified from being Trill's family.

Which is Totally Normal and Not at All Concerning Behavior

But you know what. we can make it worse.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that all of the Saito Lore from the games remains true in the anime. If that was the case, then Netto still hasn't been told about it this many seasons in, making it a secret that Rockman keeps every day - a lie of omission.

What if the reason Netto hasn't been told about it for this long, the reason it seems so easy for Rockman to never bring it up, is because he's long since decided that he's not Netto's brother anymore.

"After all, I did lie to him."

And it just keeps going because if we decide to take that angle with it, then it suddenly becomes a lot more pointed that Yuuichiro is the one to assure Rockman that lying to your little brother is Sometimes Okay, Actually

Like of course he would say this, the guy who encouraged Rockman to lie to Netto in the first place in order to keep up the image of being a Reliable NetNavi

Don't get me wrong, it's a really interesting character trait for Rockman to have even without adding game context to it, but using Trill as a parallel to Netto in this scenario adds a special something to the whole thing that I'm never going to be able to stop thinking about

[typellblog]

Tsubasa Cat - An Analysis

In an interesting move for a post theoretically about Hanekawa I am prompted rather unsubtly by the text to begin with Hitagi. Specifically, her first date with Araragi.

In the anime, this is the last TV episode, and all things considered it’s not an unreasonable place to finish. This story, to some extent, is not about Araragi, but about Araragi’s relationship with Hitagi. She is important to every other arc (besides, perhaps, Nadeko Snake, which is interesting in its own right, but I digress). 

What I like about this scene is how it’s mirrored – it starts with Hitagi’s stumbling attempts at asking Araragi on a date, and ends with her stumbling attempts at asking him for a kiss. During the torturous (to Araragi) car ride with Hitagi’s father, she talks about – as if at random – Araragi’s studies, Kanbaru, and her father. During the second half, when they’re alone, she makes it clear that this was a deliberate showcase of all of the things that she has – everything she can offer to Araragi as his girlfriend.

This transition is accomplished through the midpoint of Araragi’s conversation with her father, which begins awkwardly and then veers into the heartfelt – ‘take care of my daughter’ is at first uttered as a joke and then once again more seriously when the conversation ends.

It gives us another perspective on Hitagi, telling us that the only people she felt comfortable speaking her mind to were people she didn’t mind being hated by, and people who would never hate her. We see that Araragi started as the first and became the second. But just as Hitagi’s father underrates his importance to her, seeing himself as in the first rather than the second category, so does Araragi. He feels uncomfortable being given the credit for helping Hitagi open up to others. He wasn’t the one who did it, after all. She just went ahead and saved herself. It didn’t need to be him, specifically. Anyone could have been there for her.

As Hitagi’s father points out, however, that alone is enough. The simple fact that he was there for her is enough to earn her gratitude. There’s nothing wrong with that.

And it’s with that in mind that we move outside, to see the stars.

This is also one of the few things that Hitagi can give to Araragi. Not the stars themselves of course, not even the specific location outside the observatory, but rather the memory. It’s a memory of a time that her family was still together. A memory that was reclaimed from the Weight Crab in no small part thanks to Araragi himself.

When Araragi is asked in the car what he loves about her, he’s too nervous to answer. When he flips the question back on her, she answers smoothly, ironically. It’s a total defeat.

When Araragi is asked now, he answers easily. Everything. Everything that she’s shown him tonight, he accepts. When he asks her again in response, she gives the same answer, but in this context, we realise she was being dead serious earlier.

It’s the kind of response that fits Hitagi’s specific brand of brashness paired with vulnerability. It’s the kind of recontextualization that fits this series. And as an affirmation of their love for one another it’s an appropriate jumping-off point for what Araragi is about to go through in this arc.

But before we get to that, I want to note that the way this arc is reliant on previously established events that we haven’t actually read about yet is quite aberrant.

The difference positions Hanekawa differently from the other characters. She’s not someone that Araragi meets because of oddity problems, she’s someone he’s known for a while already. Unlike the other characters, she’s stable - doesn’t need fixing. Her oddity problem has already been resolved, and she slips comfortably into the role of supporting character from before she’s even introduced.

If Araragi’s developing relationship with Senjougahara is the throughline of Bakemonogatari, then his relationship with Hanekawa is its dark reflection. She appears in every arc, but never gets involved directly, never changes as a result. She tells him this. I never change. It’s a lie.

On a narrative level as well as a personal one Hanekawa is sidelined, ignored, taken for granted, and it is essentially this failure to address her that feeds the Sawari Neko.

It’s an interestingly contradictory oddity. As its name suggests, it ‘meddles’, doing things for the host that they in some way needed but didn’t have the desire to act on. It was triggered by the act of picking it up from the side of the road and giving it a proper burial. It could easily be ignored, but ignoring things like that is not in the nature of Hanekawa Tsubasa. She sweats the small stuff, she does things that are expected of anyone but nobody actually does, she projects the image of an ‘ordinary’ person, and in doing so comes off as more extraordinary than anyone else.

She goes out of her way to help the cat, and the cat goes out of its way to help her, because for all her kindness and compassion she doesn’t reserve any for herself.

The ability of the Sawari Neko is energy drain. It’s the inverse of her usually supportive nature, the selfish ability to take from others in order to make herself feel better.

Since we’ve mentioned how the oddity’s quirks informs Hanekawa’s own issues, let’s continue with the classics and talk about the characteristic Monogatari twist. You see, Araragi tells us, the typical twist with these cat monsters is the reveal that there was no cat monster. A virtuous woman acts strangely at night, becoming a harlot and wandering the streets. She must be possessed! Entrapped by a monster! No, she’s just doing that on her own. The idea that she couldn’t possibly want to do that is your own assumption – how well do you really know her?

This is a theme that has been explored in Bakemonogatari already, with the case of Kanbaru Suruga. She was afflicted by a devil, yes, but the devil only gave her the ability to achieve desires that she actually held. Hanekawa’s case is an expansion of this – the monster is in a very real sense part of Hanekawa herself. But we understand this already. There is no need to belabor the point that Tsubasa Hanekawa is, herself, gaining some benefit by the cat’s actions. This is how oddities work. They arise for a reason.

And thus, the twist of the previous cat incident, the one that we haven’t actually seen yet, is skipped over. Or rather, it is told to us directly. Hanekawa faces a terrible family situation. Her parents aren’t really her parents. Her overwhelming stress from this causes the cat to assault others, including those same parents. 

Instead of this, we get a new, more dramatic twist. The cause of the stress this time was not her parents, as Araragi assumes. It was her feelings towards him.

Stress is a curious thing. The word must come up a dozen times in these few episodes – I can still hear the drawl of Oshino’s voice as he pronounces the English loanword.

For my money, the most interesting portrayal of Hanekawa’s stress here is seen in the opening for this arc. Or should I say both openings? There’s a photo version as well as the more usual animated one this time.

I would say the theme here in the first one is ‘wandering’ – we’re given names of different countries for each shot of Hanekawa walking around. A reference to her plans to travel after graduation, I suppose. But the pictured locations aren’t actually different – all washed through the same grey filter, all seemingly Naoetsu rather than overseas. Hanekawa’s post-graduation plans are paralleled with her habit of walking around town on holidays to avoid her parents.

It’s another view of something that seems to Araragi quite impressive and unconventional. Perhaps she simply does not know where to go, would rather be anywhere but here. If her walks are a way of avoiding one source of stress, her parents, then her travel might be pegged as a way of avoiding the other – Araragi himself.

The fear of being trapped is heightened in the second rendition. Now we see her actually running from something, hands grasping to pull her back, strapped motionlessly to a set of train tracks.

The thing I’m most curious about, though, are the opening and ending shots of her standing on the bridge, long hair trailing to either side. Different versions of Hanekawa – the second is the cat – but the same solemn expression. It’s enough to make us doubt that they’re separate characters at all, and indeed that’s the point. We’re shown not just Kuro Hanekawa, but Kuro as Hanekawa.

Kuro Hanekawa is an interesting character.

She can’t lie because she’s too direct and unthinking to bother. Contrast regular Hanekawa’s assertion that she doesn’t lie – one that’s patently untrue. To her, keeping up appearances and responding in a way consistent with her ‘normal’ persona is more honest and upstanding than revealing her true feelings. To be reductive, if Kuro tells the truth because she’s to dumb to lie, the Hanekawa lies because she’s too smart, too socially conscious to be honest.

Kuro in her lack of regard for societal norms can be considered a manifestation of Hanekawa’s stress, but she doesn’t embody it. She, herself, is easily able to fess up to her master’s (note the reference to her as a different person) feelings. She is indifferent towards humans, not actively hostile. Her random energy drain attacks were done to relieve stress, but Araragi’s alternative method of Shinobu is also perfectly acceptable to her. Not only do their vibes and behaviour differ, but so are their personalities and priorities – the cat is functionally a different person.

In this light, the anime’s portrayal of their dialogue is interesting. During this scene he initially refuses to believe what the cat is saying, his idealized perception of Hanekawa preventing him from recognizing her hidden emotions. He mistakes her refusal to show any sort of outward jealousy for her incapability of doing so.

But look at how the ghostly presence of regular Hanekawa reaches out to Araragi along with Kuro’s words. See how Araragi gently addresses her rather than Kuro – Kuro as Hanekawa instead of either Kuro or Hanekawa. Later his perceptions shift, Kuro’s dialogue delivered through reused frames of Hanekawa talking to him in the classroom, Hanekawa’s mannerisms like the mysterious opaque glasses recontextualized in Kuro’s paws – Hanekawa as Kuro. It becomes clear that Kuro is merely giving voice to things that Hanekawa really does feel.

As such, he’s able to give a genuine answer, saying that he loves Hitagi. Kuro Hanekawa, for her part, is not particularly surprised or bothered, simply moving to her next step in the plan to relieve her master’s stress.

She tries to kill him.

Once again building on Kanbaru’s arc, Araragi is forced to seriously consider dying in order to solve the problem. Hanekawa is someone he owes a great debt to. Would it really be that bad? Yes!

Hitagi would kill Hanekawa. Here we have the same excuse as Kanbaru’s case. I don’t want to say it’s wrong, she absolutely would, but the point lies more in what it represents. Her feelings for him. Everything that he promised to give to her. It’s not actually an ideal resolution of the situation, even if we accept that his life is as cheap as he makes it out to be. Because something that cheap can only be traded for one person’s happiness. Everyone else who cares about him (including Hanekawa) would be worse off for it.

The real solution is to ask for help. This has been partially demonstrated already, on the hunt for Shinobu. Hanekawa rubs it in, with her little lie about vampire fascination. None of the girls he met him him because they were brainwashed, they agreed because they care about him. They are each people that Araragi has to one extent or another participated in saving. Oshino Meme says that people can only save themselves, but Araragi doesn’t share that opinion when it comes down to it.

He believes firmly that Hanekawa saved him. Just by being there, a person can drag you out of the deepest and darkest of depths. Araragi has done the same for several others. So, isn’t it alright to ask for help oneself? To not feel as though you’re being a burden on others, but can instead rely on them equally?

This is the realization he came to, the root behind Shinobu’s disappearance. Kuro Hanekawa says he was getting too used to oddities, too friendly with them, not respecting their power and legend enough. He was treating Shinobu as a child, hardly feeling as if he had the right to even speak to her. Thus, she disappeared, until he called her back. Until he relied on her.

She, the ur-example of the people he has been risking his life to help, as well as the source of his vampiric abilities that enable him to do so.

As of our current position in the story, we don’t know what caused their current relationship. But we do know that as an oddity capable of draining the life from others, even the selfish Meddlecat is handily outclassed by a vampire. And yet Shinobu willingly stops draining when requested. Araragi willingly gives her his own blood. If the cat is Hanekawa cut loose, free from social standards and bothersome human emotions, then what does being afflicted by a vampire mean to Araragi exactly?

Hanekawa ends this arc by falling asleep, returned once again to her regular state. But as she crosses the thin line between dreams and reality, she lets some unfiltered thoughts slip out.

You have to shape up. The impersonal framing of debts doesn’t represent Araragi’s true feelings. Just as ‘not wanting Hanekawa to exploit his debt to her’ wasn’t the real reason why he rejects her, ‘I care more about my debt to you than remaining friends’ is a really awkward way of him saying he just wants to help her. He struggles to admit this because, I think, of his belief he can’t really save anyone. He’s almost embarrassed to admit he’s trying.

In the end, though, he can’t take the same lackadaisical attitude as Oshino Meme. He can’t help but get involved in others’ personal issues, to put people’s wellbeing over the most effective way of resolving a situation, even if that person happens to be an oddity themselves.

However – is this really such a bad way of handling things? Araragi blurs the line between oddity and human, but he’s been getting half-decent at walking that tightrope lately. Knowing this, Oshino leaves town, trusting Araragi to handle both Shinobu’s disappearance and Hanekawa’s transformation.

Oshino himself – his lackadaisical attitude is ultimately just an attitude. His actions reveal a certain level of sympathy for Araragi’s priorities. His fees, his manipulations, his harsh words, all show a certain awkwardness on his part. He has an inability to be honest and act directly, one that balances out his true deep propensity for helping others.

Thus ends Bakemonogatari, a story about coming to terms with the monsters hidden in the darkness of the world. “For example, in my own shadow.” Araragi adds. Whatever being afflicted by a vampire means to him, it’s something he has to learn to live alongside with, not ignore.

Thus ends Bakemonogatari, but I’m looking forward to writing about the rest of the series very much as well. Took a stupid amount of time to muster up the mental energy for this one, but hopefully I can work a bit faster next time (I always say this and its never true lmao)

[that-ari-blogger]

Simple Answers

Who is Luz Noceda?

If I was to ask you this question after only seeing a scene or two from the Owl House, your answer would probably be very different to if you had watched the entire series.

This isn't groundbreaking, it's what happens when you spend time around any person or character, they start to appear more complex to you as you get to know them more.

But that's kind of the point here, because the Owl House is a series about embracing your weirdness and individuality in contrast to first impressions. A single question like "who is x person" is inadequate, and others should be added to understand the nuance there.

The First Day asks two more questions. "Who does everyone else think Luz is?" and "Who does Luz herself think she is?"

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

The Owl House has a thing for introductions. Luz gets so many over the course of the series, and it's fascinating to see how she changes just by the way in which she gives her title. She is the good witch, or the human, or hero, whatever she decides.

The opening scene to The First Day is interesting to me, because it's an audition. Luz is being asked to present her skills, but I don't think that's what she is being tested on.

"Spells cast with paper, I've never heard of such a thing. But is it enough to pass the exam?"

Bump deliberately leans into the theatricality here, messing with Luz's confidence to see what she does. The series has established that all Luz needs to do to pass the exam is cast two spells, so why is there a stage? And why does Bump ask this question?

Because Bump wants to know who Luz is. His first impression of her has been a troublemaker, and he has seen some skill, but what else? He wants is to see how she reacts to stress, is she resourceful? Is she imaginative? In my reading, Luz had already passed the test and Bump wanted to know more about the student.

This is an episode about breaking moulds and meeting expectations, and so we are introduced to the primary conflict of the episode, that being the track system. Students can only learn one kind of magic, or they are branded as troublemakers and can't learn magic at all. You have to colour within the lines, and make what kind of art will get points.

That works backwards into the test as well. Where at first glance, it is a test about skill, it is actually more complex, just like the students undertaking it.

The school is also trying to appeal to a perception as well, with the inspector. The school only shows its best and brightest, who have achieved exactly the point of their classes. This is what the school teaches, isn't it so perfect?

The basilisk scene is also interesting on a side note because it is why I like Bump so much. For all of his flaws, the second there is a student in danger, Bump interposes himself between the student and that danger. It doesn't work, but it's an attempt, and it kind of foreshadows later on in the episode, which I will get to in a bit.

If you are studying creative writing at a High School level, you have probably been told that first impressions are everything. You need to introduce your characters well, you need to open in the action, or with a question. And this isn't wrong, I literally opened this post with a question to grab your attention.

But if you are familiar with my blog, you will probably have guessed that I take issue with this advice. Write a story how you like, it doesn't have to be good, you just have to tell it. There are rules of art, yes, but they are more like guidelines, and often the way you make something incredible is by doing your own thing. Maybe what you want coincides with the rules, maybe it doesn't. It's art, do what you want.

I can't speak for other countries, but the Australian system for teaching literary studies is seriously lacking. You get told themes to analyse your texts with, instead of forming your own reasoning. I distinctly remember a teacher telling me that "your personal voice will be shown by how you write what the HSC wants." And this is understandable as a system. It's not agreeable, but I understand why it is what it is. The HSC is designed for evaluating thousands of students quickly and efficiently. It doesn't do personability because it can't.

This carries over into creative writing. If you want to do well in that area, you need to write from your own experience. The story has to open with action. It needs to be realism, so no weird fantastical elements. The marker needs to be able to check of elements of the story. It is draconian, but from what I have heard, it is somehow a more efficient system to certain other countries.

So, why am I ranting about school? Because The Owl House is a fantasy, and the fantasy it is exploring is "what if you could change the system?" And part of that is Bump, because Bump is a character who fundamentally has the students' best interests at heart. So when he clocks on to the system being unsuited, he changes it.

"I'm smart enough to know when I'm wrong"

But perceptions go both ways, and Luz has spent the series so far battling her own preconceived notions about what the story is about. When she enters the detention track, she immediately dismisses it as boring and that comes back to bite her later.

Viney keeps coming up when people mention first impressions, and I will mention her again when that happens. Her character design actually has a cool little detail that hints at that, and its her earring. It's quirky and weird, a fishhook through her ear. But its only on one ear, meaning that when she is introduced and she is leaning on her hand, it isn't visible. But when Luz makes her smile, she turns her head and the audience can see that earring and reveal something interesting that Luz missed.

Where the coven system stands for actively restricting people into areas, the track system stands for refining people into those boxes. Its a parody of the house system in a certain book series that I am dodging around the name of. In said book series, there are four houses that students are sorted into based on core personality traits - brave, clever, evil, and boring - and that system is scuffed as all hell, because not only does it not account for the fact that the character traits aren't mutually exclusive, it forms a self fulfilling prophecy.

Evil house students are assumed as villainous unless proven otherwise, so naturally they are outcasts who want to shake up the system, some are genuinely terrible folks, but at least one is only mean because he is expected to be. And the headmaster of that school explicitly notes that its a problem and doesn't make any attempt to change it.

So, what happens when you find a person who is both brainy and brave? Or a student who shows a skill for both healing and beast magic? What do you do?

Well, you stop relegating people who are complex as "troublemakers" for one, but you also stop forming stereotypes of people.

Final Thoughts

The First Day is a sound episode of the Owl House. It's fun and engages with the themes of the series in a neat way. This is the episode when then story makes itself clear about how it is engaging with archetypal storytelling, that being how actively it subverts it. This is also the episode with some of the funniest references in it, specifically the choosy hat is a favourite of mine.

Bump is a fan favourite character for a reason. He listens, and he adapts. This is an authority figure who gets called a dingus and his immediate reaction is "maybe I am a dingus."

Also, Basilisks are extinct. Remember this, this will come up again. The basilisks were dead to begin with, as dead as a doornail.

Anyway, next week I will be looking at Very Small Problems, so stick around if that interests you.

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[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

why don't you like buffy seasons 4 and 7?

The Statement

Anon's actually referring to an offhand comment @therealvinelle made in this post.

And actually not what they said. She noted she has problems with both, but season 4 was still very well written, and season 7 was the one that was less so.

As we tend to agree on these things I can clarify that they're far from bad I've seen shows where any season, their best seasons, are still worse than those seasons of Buffy by far. I was able to watch through all seasons and have done so multiple times, there's many shows I can't and don't finish.

But they're not as good as the rest of the show in my opinion and season 7 especially so. Season 7, unlike the others, actually was hard to finish and kind of just... was there.

Why No Season 4?

Season 4 is very much written like a season that's finding its footing and trying to navigate how to coexist with the spinoff show that had just started, Angel.

And a lot of the problems start and end with Angel.

Angel has a bad habit of taking fan favorite characters from the Buffy cast that they feel Buffy can survive without. We suddenly lose Wesley, Cordelia especially, later Spike and Harmony, and Angel himself. The thing is that Cordelia is a real loss in that she's a very big part of the supporting cast, she gets a lot of the funny lines, a lot of the Scooby but not quite interactions. The show makes up for it for soon introducing Anya as her powerless human self, who takes up a similar role for a while, but it then has to introduce her character and a similar love interest arc with Xander.

We also get the Angel Easter Egg episodes where he either makes silly cameos (showing up for an episode only to never do anything and just be referenced all the time while the B plot rages) or we get episodes where "wow, you should have watched Angel last night, it was super important and things happened, and it was important, but we're not making the show self-contained". The season, because it is well-written, does work with it but it's not great.

Then we have the more major problem in that a lot of the story arcs, settings, and everything else they'd depended on went away the previous season. Cordelia's gone so Xander has no more love interest in her or in Willow who's still dealing with the Oz fallout, there's no Oz (though I should note I do not like Oz) which means that the Willow Oz thing is done, Angel's now gone for realz which means Buffy's will they won't they thing with him is now a won't and they have to offically replace the love interest even though they clearly don't want to, Giles has to be involved somehow but he can't hang around the school all the time when the kids aren't there.

So, we have a season where no one's really sure what to do with themselves. We get Buffy together with Riley, Willow has a very messy grief over Oz and then gets together with Tara entirely off screen, Xander is now with Anya, Giles is around.

Now, all of these are good plot threads, I do actually enjoy the growth of characters in season 4, but the problem is that because of all of the above it's kind of all over the place. Combined with filler of Buffy wanting beer in an episode, it's just a giant mess of Oz coming back, then not coming back, Willow's exciting gay offscreen love interest, and even more Xander relationship problems.

It's watchable because it's all very well written, some of the best lines come from season 4, but it's a mess.

And then we get the Initiative, which as a big mystery of the season is just... bad. It's just bad. Yes, Spike is a gem in the season and the chip is a great plot device, but the Initiative itself is not very interesting, our first big bad of Maggie is eaten almost immediately, then we barely see Adam and when we do... He's really boring.

I will say that there are individual parts of other seasons I like much less than season 4 but it's a mess of a season.

Why No Season 7?

Now this season really didn't know what to do with itself.

Narratively, the show should have ended at season 5. It was a great conclusion, everything was pretty much wrapped up, and we had our death for Buffy. However, it didn't end.

Now, I say this loving season 6. Season 6 is a great season with some of the best writing in the series, horrible and extremely dark, but very good.

But it's hard to go anywhere after it because the big bads of season 6 were the characters themselves. It was Buffy entering this toxic relationship, Willow's road down addiction and power, Tara having to leave, Giles having to leave, Anya and Xander falling apart, it's all about the gang and the villains are just three losers who 2/3 are just misunderstood weebs who don't quite realize what they're doing.

So, we get done with that, learn that we ourselves can be just as bad as any villain, and then we get a lot of lore and a lot of characters I just hate. We get all the Slayers being watched, we get a love interest slammed in Willow's face so that you don't think that her bisexuality was just a season long, and Kennedy is the worst, god she is the worst. We get the First Evil, while admittedly is intangible and has to manipulate others, but to make up for that we have uber vampires and uh Nathan Fillian as an evil priest guy who never really gets explained or dealt with. Angel's crammed back in, once again, in case you started shipping Spuffy too much over the past few seasons in another kind of ridiculous cameo to literally hand Buffy the deus ex machina MacGuffin which will sacrifice Spike so that he can go to his new show.

Spike and Anya just sort of die just so they can kill somebody.

And the whole thing's just messily written in trying to introduce many new characters while wrapping things up with the old cast, new love interests all over the place, and trying to recover from season 6 so that these characters can work with each other again.

I easily put season 7 as my least favorite season.

[o0anapher0o]

Miss Lily and character stereotpyes

I’ve been re-reading @halo4life2017-blog's rewatch blogs and the discussion we had about Miss Lily and about how Lestat might at some point tell us he only killed her because she was actually planning on blackmailing Louis or something like that, and I had some more thoughts I need to get out.

The thing about Lily as Louis presents her is, she’s a stereotype. The ‘whore with the heart of gold’ is a common trope. It’s a cliché the same way the though, street-hard, black pimp is, or the rich European genteel who is abhorred by American racism, the stately southern matron who saves face at all cost even if it means waving off a guests outburst with a comment about the weather, the sassy little sister who supports her gay brother and only wants to see him happy, or the religious zealot who is really a gentle angel when he’s not possessed by the holy spirit. All those are sterotypes that Louis uses when he introduces the people in his life to the story, ways he tries to shape the narrative perception of them. Or maybe lies he tells himself about them.

And all of these stereotypes get dismantled within the first episode: Louis is really a sensitive baby gay who likes to read and cries at the opera. Lestat is a terrifying vampire, who we can rightfully assume has never cared about how black people are treated anywhere prior to meeting Louis, and really still doesn’t.  Florence is an emotionally abusive bitch who happily unloads her own grief on her child, Grace is mommy little princess who deserts Louis when he needs her most to side with Florence and Paul is a condescending brat who shamelessly uses his mental illness for the liberties it gives him (we don’t talk about it enough because mental illness is tricky and Paul is a great character, but the way he acts towards Grace’s fiancé and wedding, and how he talks to the priests when he goes to confession are on a level of entitlement that’s breathtaking. And that’s instances when he’s supposedly ‘right in the head’. My favourite is ‘I wasn’t being rude”, like, yes, you were. Just because the voices in your head told you to say it doesn’t mean it’s not rude to say it and the fact that you’re trying to justify it tells me you know that.).

You could probably make a similar case almost all other characters, Bricktop, Tom Anderson, Levi, all of them are initially presented in a very stereotypical way and later we’re shown they are not quite what they seem at first (Fenwick might be the exception here, he’s always a horrible racist pig). Except for Lily. She never gets the chance to be shown as more, because she gets killed off-screen and is never brought up again.

But we do get hints that everything isn’t as Louis presents it with Lestat’s throwaway comment on her wretched life, or the fact that it takes Louis two weeks to even notice she was dead, which tells me they weren’t as close as some people seem to believe. (Yes, he was a regular customer, one she might even have liked but they definitely weren’t friends.). So yeah, I won’t be surprised if we do learn about some nefarious goings on she was involved in. That’s not to make Lestat look better btw, he did kill her and the main reason was no doubt to get a reaction from Louis and/or to dismantle his support system, but I do think there was more to it than that just ‘she was a poor substitute’. And just as a side note: since we tend to treat Louis as an unreliable narrator (justifiably so) if and when the time comes we certainly need to look at Lestat’s story the same way, because I’m pretty sure if anyone is trying to make Lestat look better, it’s going to be Lestat.