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spamgyu · 10 months

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Always // Soonyoung x Reader - bonus part

DESCRIPTION: When Soonyoung told her he would always be there, he meant it. The days of pining for the girl he had fallen for freshman year had finally paid off.

PAIRING: Soonyoung x Reader

GENRE: A little fluff treat for my team soonyoung girlies out there.

Sorry for making yall cry in right where you left me. <3

(ALWAYS)

He kept his promise.

That night when he had confessed his feelings to her, he truly meant what he said.

"I'm here. As a friend or whatever you need me to be. I'm here."

Soonyoung didn't care if he was the second choice or the twelveth – he remained by y/n side. He was the first person she called when anything happened; whether it was when Mingyu and her broke it off or when she finally found the sold out bag from Marge Sherwood. Soonyoung was the first to know.

He had become her best friend. Over throwing Jeonghan.

Though, if anyone were to ask y/n, it wasn't the case... Only because Jeonghan would make a scene, claiming that after all the years they have known each other he would be dethroned by someone he had introduced her to.

Many called him a fool for this choice – pining for a girl who was clearly not going to give him the time of day. But Soonyoung didn't care.

Because despite what everyone thought, he wasn't praying for her and Mingyu's downfall so that he could finally get the girl.

As long as she was happy.

He'd get over it one day.

But that was the thing, just when he thought his feelings for her were slowly diminishing, welcoming the idea of possibly dating... there was a glimmer of hope.

"Sorry I'm late, got caught up at the office." He apologized to his friends, taking the only empty seat available.

Next to an intoxicated y/n.

"Catch up!" She messily poured a shot of soju for him, earning hoots and hollers from the other two sat across the table – Jeonghan and Seokmin.

Soonyoung happily took the small glass from the girl's hand with a chuckle – throwing the drink back with ease.

"Okay you need about four more." She began to pour another only to be stopped by Soonyoung's hand. "Boo!!"

"It's only been an hour since you guys got here, how are you all so drunk?" He grabbed the pitcher of beer from the middle of the table.

"We're celebrating the end of a work week." Seokmin snickered.

"That I'll I drink to." He sighed; recalling to the emails, that seemed to never end, that he had to send throughout the week. Not to mention the outburst his team leader had on Tuesday.

To say the week ran him over like a semi-truck was an understatement.

Being part of the corporate world was no joke, each one of them taking turns complaining about their bosses and deadlines in their groupchats.

Who would have thought the real world would be this draining?

It had almost been a weekly ritual for them to meet every Friday for Happy Hour, whether as a semi-complete group or as a whole. It was their own way of tapping back to their hey-days in the midst of their now very grown lives.

"Take my glass." Y/n handed him her empty pint glass as she watched him look for a clean one.

"You're not gonna–"

She shook her head. "I'm getting the burps."

"Do you want another drink? I'll pay."

"They do have ice blended makgeolli." Y/n trailed off, a smile on her face growing – recalling to the menu that was handed to them when they were seated.

It wasn't part of the pub's happy hour menu – the three opting for the bottomless pitcher of beer and four bottle of soju special instead.

But since he had offered... she wasn't going to decline.

Soonyoung called over the waiter, motioning for her to place her order once he arrived at the table.

"One ice blended yogurt makgeolli–"

"Four." He interjected, knowing that the other two would whine about wanting some the minute it arrived at the table.

"Four, please."

"Must be nice having a finance bro as a boyfriend." Jeonghan sighed loudly, earning a laugh from Seokmin. He had been observing the two from across the table as they seemed to be in their own little world. Again.

She and Soonyoung have gotten used to Jeonghan's teasing, paying no mind to his comment. It had been a running joke for him since y/n and Mingyu had broken up – joking any time he caught either Soonyoung or y/n doting on one another.

It was just a joke, anyways.

"Han, please you're scaring the hoes." Soonyoung replied without missing a beat.

"Oh please, y/n is doing enough of that herself." Seokmin laughed.

It was no secret that the two had gotten very close – effortlessly navigating around one another like an old couple. They knew each other better than they knew themselves.

Soonyoung knew what made her tick, her coffee order, her favorite places to shop, and so on.

And she was the same.

Anyone could easily mistake the two as a long term couple, making the jokes from their group so easy to come.

"As if he has any." Y/n rolled her eyes.

"Because you scare them away!" Soonyoung laughed.

One iced blended makgeolli turned into three more and soon the group, aside for Soonyoung, were absolutely wasted; drunkenly singing along to the music that blasted throughout the pub. Earning looks from those sat around them.

"Alright, I think it's time to call it." Soonyoung placed two one hundred bills on the table. "I'm taking y/n home."

"I'm-" Hiccup. "Fine."

"No you're not, come on let's go." He chuckled standing from his seat, grabbing her oversized leather jacket that hung on the back of her chair along with her purse – holding out his hand.

"Boring!!!" Seokmin protested. Slurred to be exact.

He raised his brows at his friend, turning to a more coherent Jeonghan. "Are you guys good to make it home or do I need to call an uber too?"

"No, we're okay." Jeonghan shook his head slowly.

Soonyoung knew they weren't okay, but he was far too worried about the girl who was still sat in her seat – sipping on the watered down drink in front of her.

He nodded, reaching to take the drink from her hand; earning a pout before she took his hand; using it to help her up.

"Whoa." Y/n's eyes grew wide, feeling all the alcohol she had consumed take over her whole body.

Soongyoung stifled a laugh, holding her hand tighter as he felt her sway as she tried to find her balance.

"Request me on zelle if that doesn't cover it." He nodded to the two before exiting the building and straight into the uber he had requested minutes ago.

The second her and Seokmin began passing their make shift soju and spoon mic, he had secretly requested for a ride out of the establishment. He knew if he had waited any longer, y/n would have probably ordered another round for the group.

It was a short ride from the pub to her apartment, the two sitting in the back of the SUV in silence.

Mostly because he knew she was on the verge of throwing up.

Y/n could handle her alcohol pretty well. She just needed to throw up after each night out.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Y/n threw her body on her couch, groaning as her head hit the throw pillow. "I did pretty good. Didn't puke once."

"I'm so proud of you." He chuckled, unzipping her knee high boots. "Want to keep your socks on?"

"Please."

"Water?"

She shook her head. Her stomach was filled to the brim with liquids and she knew that if she took even a sip, she may just burst.

He watched as she remained laying still in a fetal position, admiring her beauty. She wasn't do anything but breathing. Yet somehow, he couldn't help but feel his heart fill with warmth as he scanned her – her hair perfectly framing her face, despite the fact that the curls she spent nearly an hour this morning doing had fallen, her make up was still in it's place, aside from her now faded lipstick. She looked perfect as ever.

Though, he may be biased.

Soonyoung took one last look at her before walking into her room to grab a hoodie from her closet. "Sit up."

He didn't have to ask twice, allowing him to assist her put on the black hoodie. Her favorite piece to wear when she was simply lounging around her apartment or running errands.

His hoodie from the day he rescued her in the rain.

She never did return it.

...And he never asked for it back.

"Maybe I am scaring your hoes away." She hiccuped, her eyes trained on his face as he adjusted the strings.

"I don't have hoes. I was kidding."

Maybe it was the alcohol.

Or maybe it was the close proximity.

But y/n found herself replying. "Good."

"Good?" He raised his brows, absentmindedly tucking the strands that fell in front of her face behind her ears.

She hated when her hair was a mess.

"I don't like sharing."

He felt his heart skip a beat.

Y/n had never vocalized how she felt about him; and up until now, he never though she would ever. Soonyoung began to have some sort of inkling a few months ago that she may have felt the same way he does, but he never wanted to read too much into this.

Y/n had been newly single and maybe she could have just been projecting her old lingering feelings for his best friend towards him.

Besides, she was like this with Jeonghan. At least, that's what he chose to believe.

"You're really drunk." He mumbled.

"Is it so bad that I have feelings for you?"

He felt like the air in his lungs was not enough; unable to fully process her sudden confession of feelings. "N-no. But you're also about eight drinks in."

"Drunk mind is an honest one."

She was right.

As much as he had waited for this moment, which only seemed possible in his dreams, he knew it wasn't right. She was drunk and though he was coherent, he too had a slight buzz.

Soonyoung wanted to be sober when they had this conversation.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow. During breakfast."

"Do you not believe me?" She pressed.

Ninety percent of him does.

The ten percent was his demons, telling him that he would never hold a place in her heart. Not the way Mingyu did.

While he crouched in front of her in silence, trying to silence the voice in his head; he noticed her inching closer – her eyes eyeing his lips. For a split second, he allowed himself to lean in; capturing her lips.

This was their first kiss, and as much as he has been waiting for this – it felt wrong. He didn't picture the first time he kissed the girl he had been in love with for almost six years to be in her living room while she was most likely drunk out of her mind.

Not like this.

It was quick kiss, and god did they both want it to last longer.

"Tomorrow." He breathed, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I promise."

Y/n didn't care to protest anymore, knowing that he wasn't going to change his answer and allowed him to tuck her into bed.

She may be drunk, but she wasn't out of her mind. The alcohol had simply gave her the confidence to finally say what had been plaguing her mind for the past month and half.

A secret she had only disclosed to Jeonghan. Who seemed to be very thrilled of the news – claiming that the reason why he had introduced her to his frat brothers during their freshman year was because he fully expected her to hit it off with Soonyoung.

Not with Mingyu.

He had spent the last month and a half encouraging her to finally let Soonyoung know how she felt. Annoying her to be exact.

Everyone had called that somehow and at some point, she would end up falling for Soonyoung.

She couldn't pin point the exact moment when she began to allow her heart to soften to the idea of possibly seeing a future with her friend.

The one moment in her apartment while she was still dating Mingyu didn't count.

It happened so slowly that y/n did not realize that she began to yearn for his presence. He had become a part of her daily life that when he had gone away for an overseas vacation with his family, she realized how much she had missed having him blowing up her phone with all sorts of random messages and memes.

Not that he wasn't texting her while he was away; no he made sure to keep her updated. Sending her images of the activities they were doing and all the meals was eating – and she was doing the same.

It was just that, due to the time difference and lack of proper cell service, he wasn't able to reply right away.

The minute she caught herself constantly checking her phone, to see if his name had popped up in her notifications, she knew she was done for.

The inevitable had finally come and she was fully welcoming it.

He knew he didn't have to ask for permission. Especially not if it was Mingyu that ended things.

Yet, there he was, standing at his best friend's apartment door – nervously shifting his weight from one leg to another, debating whether he had made the right choice or not.

Soonyoung's head had been a mess since he left y/n's apartment, unable to complete a single thought.

All except one. He needed to make things right, starting by giving Mingyu a heads up.

If what she had said was true, he wanted to start their relationship properly.

He knew he had already overstepped the rules of the bro code; that line was far in the distance, he could no longer see it. And despite the anger he once felt for his friend, for making the girl he loves cry and breaking her heart, he didn't want to cause any ill feelings that could possibly bring tension to the whole group.

He cared far too much for the twelve boys he had spent all his college days with. A girl nearly ruined their dynamics once, he wasn't going to allow this to happen again.

Especially if he could help it.

He was willing to let go anyways. If Mingyu says no, he'll walk away.

It would be painful as hell, but he didn't care. A simple no and he would do it in a heartbeat.

Finally mustering up the courage to knock on the door, Soonyoung reached up to unbutton another button from his white collared shirt – the sounds of Mingyu's footstep approaching the door all of a sudden made him feel as though the fabric around his neck was constricting him.

"Hey, Hosh." He greeted, almost sounding like a question.

Soonyoung cleared his throat.

Here goes nothing.

"I'm not asking for permission, I think we're too grown for that but– it's been a year and you're okay and she's okay a–and–" He stammered. He was far more nervous than he had expected himself to be.

"Spit it out, dude." Mingyu chuckled.

"I'm going to try it out with y/n." Soonyoung blurted.

Mingyu blinked. "That's it?"

That was not the reaction he expected.

Y/n had always been a touchy subject between the two. Especially after that night at the gym when he nearly landed a fist on Mingyu's face.

The two avoided any topic that involved y/n. Not unless someone else in the group brought it up.

"Well, yeah– you're my best friend and she's your ex–"

Mingyu shook his head. "Like you said. We're adults. Do what makes you happy, man."

He felt like the weight on his shoulder has been lifted, a smile forming on his lips. "Thank you, dude. It really means a lot."

"I guess this is me passing the baton." Mingyu joked. "Don't fuck it up."

"Trust me, I won't." Soonyoung chuckled, feeling at ease that his friend was able to make a joke out of the situation. He was fully prepared for Mingyu to put up a fight, or at least give him a hard time.

But then again, he was dating again; having brought a girl around when they went out as a group for Seungcheol's birthday.

Unlike the previous time Mingyu had done this, he noticed that y/n had barely bat an eye at his actions.

Things had shifted.

War was over.

Soonyoung had let himself in to her apartment, grateful for the spare key she had given him when she had first moved in.

Just like all his other promises to her, he kept his word and showed up the following day to her place; ready to pick up where they had left off the night before. This time fully sober.

He had felt like he had been floating on cloud nine since last night and was not able to sleep since coming home from Mingyu's apartment. He had gotten the greenlight from both parties and now it was his time to make a move.

Soonyoung had always respected y/n, he could have easily jumped the gun the second she was single but he knew that would have been a dirty move. He knew what his friends and her friends said about him, and he didn't want to prove those rumors true.

Four years with someone was a long time, and he knew there was no way he could erase that. Soonyoung knew that if he did stand a chance in capturing her heart, it would be when y/n was fully healed from all the pain and heartache that her previous relationship has brought her.

And he waited.

Not intentionally.

He enjoyed staying right by her side with no return in his investment.

It just so happened that she managed to fall for him during this time.

He quietly began setting up her small dining table with her favorite breakfast from the restaurant they had become regulars at when they needed to nurse their hangovers.

Cinnamon french toast and lavender iced latte.

He was in the middle of filling the pink vase he had purchased along with the bouquet of white peonies when he heard the hard wood behind him creak – signaling that she had woken up.

"Morning." She croaked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"No, no. Go back to your room." He turned his head to face her.

"Wha- no!" She laughed, trying to peer over his shoulder to see what he was up to.

"I'm trying to make a grand romantic gesture here." Soonyoung cried, moving his body to hide the flowers.

"Are those flowers?"

"Can't a guy surprise the girl he likes?" He reached to turn the tap off.

"Not when he's making so much noise!"

"I was being quiet!"

"Please, that word is not even in your dictionary. I heard you stub your toe the second you walked in."

"Who puts a fucking cabinet at the entry way!?"

"It's a shoe cabinet and you have been here so many times you still– Oh my god it's so pretty!" She gasped when he fully turned around, walking over to place the vase in the middle of the table.

Soonyoung was taken by surprise when he felt her arms wrap around his waist; feeling her warm body press up against him. It wasn't that he had never hugged her, nor have they never done this before – having been a little too clingy with one another over the past few years.

They've had their fair shares of unconscious cuddling on her couch, hand holding, and lingering hugs.

But this time it was different.

He now knows that her feelings for him was mutual, and somehow he had become very aware of her touch; feeling his cheeks grow hot.

"Thank you." She smiled up at him as he turned his head to meet her gaze.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" He asked.

"Ask one more time, and I'm taking it back."

"I was just making sure so that I could do this." Soonyoung moved his body to face her, leaning down to press a kiss on her lips – smiling instantly when he felt her melt against his touch.

"That was nice."

"We can keep kissing." He said quickly.

Y/n threw her head back and laughed, playfully hitting his chest. "You're dumb."

"You fell for it."

"Yeah, don't make me regret it."

"I'll fill this whole place with flowers, don't threaten me." He shook his finger at her. "You'll be coughing petals until you die."

"I know that was supposed to be romantic, but I'm scared."

Over time, she had learned to keep up with his jokes; almost as if they had become the same person. She had soon become quick to jump along with his bits and humor, at times egging him on.

Seungkwan's worst nightmare.

He rolled his eyes. "You're annoying."

"You fell for it."

"Yeah." He hummed happily. "Let's eat?"

The two happily ate their breakfast, welcoming the new change in the air between them. They have shared meals alone together countless times, this was nothing new.

But the unspoken words that they had yet to discuss had all of a sudden made them feel as though they were two young high schoolers who were left alone with their crush for the very first time.

In the midst of their meal, y/n couldn't help but catch him staring at her – trying her best to calm the butterflies that caused a riot in her stomach. Something that had been happening quiet often in the past month that she had been around him. But of course, this time, they seemed to have multiplied.

"Hey," Soonyoung reached over to place a hand over hers, halting her movement. "I haven't said it in a while but, always okay?"

Always had been their word to each other. It started off as a playful joke, telling each other that they would be there to always be annoying, be the butt of the joke, be there to accompany each other to any mindless errands....

It had been a minute since she had heard him say it, taking her back to the days when she had felt low and he had been there to rescue the day; bringing light into her dark days.

She tilted her head to the side. "Huh?"

"I'm always going to be here."

"I never doubted you one bit."

And it was true.

here hasn't been a day that Soonyoung had missed a call, text, or special day of hers – whether this was something minor like finally finding the Sonny Angel she had been on the hunt for or finally securing a job at the PR company she had been working so hard to interview for.

He had always been there and there was not a single ounce of doubt in her body that he would miss any in the future.

In all the mess going on around in her world, he was her only constant.

"I'm just reassuring you."

"Thank you."

tag list: @leah-rose03 @yoonzinuhh @musingsofananxiouspotato @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @hanniebanggi

«« [an]

hi friends, thank you so so so much for the love and feedback for the last two parts of the always!au.

always was meant to just be all pain and heartache but i feel like i owe my team hoshi girlies some fluff. <;3

i'm currently working on one LAST installation to this au and then i promise i'll have other painful au in line. lol

#seventeen fic #seventeen #hoshi #kwon soonyoung #kwon soonyoung x reader #hoshi x reader #hoshi x you #hoshi x y/n #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #hoshi fluff #hoshi scenarios #hoshi fic #soonyoung x reader #soonyoung fluff

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apomaro-mellow · 10 months

Note

What about making this Steddie? https://www.tumblr.com/morganbritton132/734155837432594432

Pretty pls?

Oh this is so cute how could I resist?

Steve's mornings started with a stop at the cafe down the street from his home. Not only was it close, but his friend/gym buddy Chrissy worked there. So they got to shoot the shit while she made his drink. But today was different. Because this time when he walked in, he didn't see her bright, bouncy ponytail. Instead he saw a dark, more limp one behind the counter, mopping away.

"Be right with you", the man who was not Chrissy said.

Steve had been out in the world. He had lived in it. He'd seen his fair share of hot cashiers. But this guy seemed tailor-made to make him tongue tied.

"What's your poison?"

Thank god for routine because it was the only reason Steve remembered his usual order and gave it to the man with tattoos on his arms. Was it hot in here? It felt hot.

"Order up for Steve!"

Steve took it with a thank you and took a sip as he turned away to leave. Only to freeze when he actually tasted it. He turned back to the barista, thinking it must be some kind of joke.

"Enjoy your drink!", he exclaimed, then went back to cleaning the counter.

Steve nodded and was going to go but not before Chrissy caught him while bussing a table.

"So, how's the drink?", she whispered like they were in cahoots.

"How could you let someone make a drink like this? I feel like I just got my teeth kicked in", Steve whispered back.

"And are you gonna tell Eddie that?", she grinned.

"...His name's Eddie?"

"Mhm, so that's a no. Well, Eddie's new and he's an old friend of mine. He's still technically in training. But you told him he made a good drink. Which means he's not going to listen to me when I say he's not ready."

Steve glanced back at him, there was definitely more of a pep in his step and as bad as this coffee was, he couldn't say it to his face. Chrissy shook her head.

"I can't believe Eddie of all people disarmed the weapon of mass bitchiness. Well now he's gonna be the one making your drinks until you tell him."

"Chrissy, please..."

"Enjoy your cup full of looooove~", Chrissy teased.

-----------------------------

And Chrissy made good on that promise/threat. Every time Steve came in now, it didn't matter who was working, Eddie was always front and center to make his drink. And every single time it was horrible. The peppermint mocha tasted like toothpaste. The caramel macchiato was sickeningly sweet. One time his coffee was even salty!

Each time Steve took a polite sip and told Eddie how delicious it was. He deserved and Oscar. Eddie would talk to him while he made his drink, somehow even when it was busy and he was taking orders from other people (orders that would be made by other, more experienced employees).

Steve learned that Eddie and Chrissy knew each other in high school, that he played in a band, and he didn't drink coffee.

"Odd place to work, don't you think?", Steve asked.

"Yeah, but you blow up ONE engine and suddenly three years of good work mean nothing."

Steve took a step back away from the counter while Eddie wasn't looking. They had a good thing going. So good that about two weeks in, Eddie asked him out. He bragged to Chrissy about it and while she was happy for them both, something in her smile seemed suspicious.

They went out, dinner and a movie, a classic. Then they went back to Steve's place and Eddie rode him like a horse.

When morning came, Steve was awakened by the soft morning rays of the sun and the soft kisses Eddie was giving him. Steve let out a soft moan when he smelled something off.

"Are you making something?", he asked, eyes fluttering open.

"Just some coffee, sweet thing. I know how you like it." Eddie got up from the bed to finish and Steve's eyes bulged open as he realized what was happening.

"EDDIE NO!"

#LOL steve's gotta tell him his coffee sucks #but you give good head #great head even!#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #also i think this is the first time ive written for chrissy #thanks for the ask!

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utterentropy · 24 days

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I haven't been so excited for the next day since the day before I met my online friend in-person cos she was in-town /vvvpos

Finally…… I'll be like those scrubs who know what it's like to have your own room…… your own privacy…… Your own space, to decorate and to cherish and to accommodate you and only you and to be alone without hearing your brother scream at his video games well past three in the morning and be forced to listen to your drunk mother force you into conversation when you're trying to sleep…… among other not-as-mostly-mundane, more actually abusive things.

I'm genuinely so excited. I've gone my entire life NEVER knowing what privacy was like. I have NEVER had my own room before, not even at hotels, not even at friends' houses, not even on vacation or in psychiatric wards. I'm finally going to have my own space. I'm so tired of my family condescendingly telling me how they eavesdrop on my conversations and make fun of me for private things I tell my friends that I didn't want them knowing, or having to sit there as they barge into my conversations and talk over my friends and force me to include them in discussions that were personal to me.

I'm going to get to pace somewhere where I won't be told to shut up, or passive-aggressively told to "take a breath" as I'm infodumping, or angrily told to go somewhere else where there was no where else, or listen to someone play an audio recording of their co-worker ranting about how I never shut up and to shut up because they trashtalked me to their co-worker and they sent them that audio recording to play when I'm too loud (yes, that was something that happened).

I'm gonna get to have my own space that will stay clean because I won't have a brother to trash the room, and I won't be forced to clean the entire room while the other two sit there and do nothing because "I don't care, you're being selfish" when I only want to clean my side of the room and want my brother to be responsible for the mess he made. It will be clean, cold, and styled just how I want it to be styled. I can have somewhere to escape my family after having had zero escape my entire life.

Zero escape from condescending remarks, zero escape from being called many profanities and told I was "the bane of my mother's existence for years" when I was in third grade, zero escape from being left no food as my uncle-in-law bought delicious food for his side of the family and cheap bootlegs and sensory-nightmare microwave food that my brother would devour within half a week anyway as I went days at a time without food, reliant on begging my friends to order me something to eat with practically nothing to give back, zero escape from my mother drinking two boxes of alcohol in a day and drunkenly insulting me and going on long rants why I'm the cause of all her problems and how I ruined hers and my brother's life, zero escape from when that alcohol and her abuse of her prescription medicine would cause her to have medical episodes and I had to be the one to call emergency services on her and supervise her, with her either being completely ungrateful or only briefly grateful before going back to how she always was, the rest of my family snapping at me and berating me for "enabling her addictions", zero escape from a horribly trained dog that would loudly bark countless times in an hour and growl and chase after me while being screamed at to shut up by the same people who taught him to act this way, zero escape from CPS who told me to be more grateful and to help around more and threatening me just how my mother would and failing me every time, zero escape from bug infestations that would crawl all over me as I slept and waking up to bites all over my body.

That's not even it.

That's not even half of it.

It's only my mother and brother now. I can live with that. They'll leave me alone.

I have my own room now. Half the family will be gone from my life.

Everything will get better now.

This is the brightest light I've seen in such a grim tunnel hued with eigengrau that I've been limping through for years.

What such cruel tricks whatever entity spun my frail life with, they're coming to an end. I just know it.

I'm happy.

Things will be better.

I finally made it this far, and I'm going to be rewarded for it.

I'm finally happy.

#positivity #mental health #mental health recovery #healing journey #I don't even care if this doesn't get any attention #I did it. I'm going to be free.

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nomazee · 1 year

Text

take me home

march 7th x reader

word count: 1.3k

summary: it’s late at night, and your hands are stained with the harsh charcoal of your artwork—which means, naturally, that march’s hands are softening just to take care of you.

content: COLLEGE AU, roommates, comfort (without any hurt really), pining, reader is an art major (I AM PROJECTING), sickeningly sweet, unspoken love

notes: a request has been sitting in my inbox for months now. this is not that request. i am so sorry. every time i add another wip to my in-progress page suddenly i lose all motivation to work on ANYTHING on that list and instead i do this. i vomit on a google doc. ok. anyways... ENJOY

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at midnight, you come back to the ground after working on autopilot for two hours. now that you’re present, grounded, in this world, you can feel the tremble of your hands and the ache in your stomach from only drinking lukewarm plain tea for half the day.

it’s an awful, awful habit, and you know that. you just don’t have the space to work on fixing it in the throes of three midterm projects and an exam. you look down at your hands, stained with a mix of white and black charcoal. it’s caked under your fingers, too, and eraser shreds cling to your skin. in the dim light of your desk lamp, they kind of look like tiny worms, and the thought makes you shiver.

march comes into your room, the only indicator being the clicks of your door opening and closing and the gentle shuffle of her slippers against your carpet. you don’t turn—you never need to, with her, because she’s already putting a gentle hand on your shoulder and leaning down to whisper something in your ear, something like “come eat, i made you dinner,” or maybe “take a shower, i’ll clean your room.” whatever it is, the specifics don’t matter, because these nights always end the same.

it’s a gentle routine. something you don’t get often, which is good, because at least that means you don’t overwork yourself near the point of sickness too often. but it’s also terrible, because that means the uncharacteristic softness of march’s hands against your shoulders and voice against your cheek and weight against your back will always be that—uncharacteristic. like an astrological event that only comes once every million years, except you get it maybe once every month, which still isn’t enough for your yearning, empty hands.

you’re in the kitchen, suddenly, led by march’s arm gently wrapped around your shoulders as she walks in tandem with you. her mouth presses against your cheek, you’re pretty sure, as she sits you down in your cramped, tiny kitchen and slides a hot bowl of something in front of you.

“i’m gonna tidy your room. is there anything you don’t want me to touch?” and there’s a twitch in your face now, because you were right about the cleaning-your-room part, and march always asks this. if there’s anything she shouldn’t touch, because there’s something about the late hours of the night that makes her suddenly so considerate about little things like that.

“just the drawing,” you tell her, because the drawing is thirty-six by forty-eight inches and took you two weeks and a lot of stress to finish, and if something happened to it then you’d burn the entire campus down, “but everything else is fine. thank— thank you.”

and it’s hard getting that out, and you feel ridiculous for it. like you’re some spoiled kid who was never raised to say thank you in your life, but this is hard. this is different, because you’re twenty and your roommate has taken care of you more times than you’re willing to admit and yet she never expects anything of you. and it hurts because she’s the type of person who you think might hold it against you—in a joking, lighthearted way, like you have to get me one of those expensive coffee’ from the campus cafe before class tomorrow, or next time we order food you’re paying, but instead she just never mentions it and it makes you want to throw up, maybe.

but you don’t—throw up, that is, because there’s a steaming bowl of rice and vegetables in front of you and the sound of shuffling and pencils being put away echoes from your room down the hall and everything is so domestic and it’s so late at night that you just sink into it. happy and content and warm, deep in your gut where the emptiness was sitting.

march pulls you away, again, once your bowl is empty and you finish the cup of water she gave you. you close your eyes blearily and feel a wet wipe on your face, one of those cleansing wipes that you buy for times like this when you’re too tired to actually wash your face. of course, you didn’t expect them to be used like this when you first started buying them—with your roommate rubbing firm circles into your skin, close enough that you can hear the whistle of her nose every time she exhales. you don’t complain. not with march. never with march.

“i’m tired,” you’re saying, and your eyes are still shut and the ache in your hands has spread through your entire body. you’re well-fed and satiated and your face is damp with diluted tea tree oil instead of the icky sheen of sweat from before, and you’re tired. you whine it out, almost, like a petulant child in the car on a road trip asking are we there yet, and pretending to be asleep when the car engine slows to a stop and the car doors start to open.

march’s hands cradle your face, cleansing wipe discarded somewhere on the counter. and your eyes are still closed, and you’re really considering it—the whole faking-being-asleep thing, because you’d love nothing more than for march to guide you to bed with a hand slung around your waist, tracing the strip of skin under the hem of your shirt and maybe a gentle kiss on your cheek, or maybe even your neck. the night is deep, and your eyelids are weighing down on the rest of your body, and your inhibitions have dwindled with the sun a long time ago. there’s nothing stopping the flood of stupid sappy thoughts rushing through your sleep-addled brain.

“i know,” march mumbles, something like affection in her voice. her words are cut off, like she wants to say something else, like she wants to tag on a pet name and call you my love or baby or sweetheart. you say, “i’m really tired, march,” because if you don’t get to bed soon then you’re going to start saying these things out loud and to her face.

but that just makes it worse, because now it’s like she’s pouring everything she can into you. all her half-reluctant affections and the tenderness of her eyes and the way her thumbs are rubbing circles into your jaw now. she looks at you with furrowed brows and a corner of her mouth presses downward, like she’s worried, and you want to laugh because you never thought your stupid, half-rude, stubborn roommate would be worried for you.

“okay. let’s get you to bed.” she puts an arm around your shoulder and guides you up from the couch that she set you down on when she was cleaning your face, and you want her to pick you up so badly that you can’t stop the way your hand comes up to clutch at her shoulder, too, while she walks patiently next to your weak, sluggish legs. you might cry, or kiss her, or fall asleep slumped against her side, and you don’t know what would be worse.

there’s no more time to contemplate that, anyways, because now you’re in bed and march is tucking you in and you feel childish. “i’m sorry” bubbles up at your throat and you get half of it out before she clicks her tongue, letting out a heavy sigh as she kneels by your nightstand, tidying the scraps of paper and gum wrappers and dusty glasses of water.

“what are you even apologizing for?” she asks rhetorically. it’s almost scolding, but she cares in her own way, and you’ve known her long enough to understand what her tone means. you wish she’d get mad instead of being so kind. you wish she would be as sarcastic as she is in the daytime with you instead of softening at the edges and at the center and at the sides. you wish she’d kiss you, maybe.

“i don’t know.” you’re not even sure if your words are making any sense, if the vowels slur together or if your tongue even hits the roof of your mouth or if you’re already asleep—but you must be asleep, because you can feel a pressure against your cheek and surely that can’t be march kissing you goodnight. of course it wouldn’t be.

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mrs-dr-reid · 2 years

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My Personal Dean Winchester Headcanons

Part 1/?

FOREHEAD. KISSES. If this man doesn’t kiss your forehead at least 15 times a day, he might die. He MUST ALWAYS kiss your forehead, whether he’s saying “hi”, “good morning”, “I love you”, “I missed you”, “goodnight”, “how are you?”, whatever the occasion or conversation, you bet your ass a forehead kiss is coming with it

You get him a record player for Christmas the year after you guys start living in the bunker because you found two gigantic boxes of vinyls in a storage closet, and now whenever he’s cooking, researching with you and Sam, or cleaning his guns/knives/other objects that kill things, he’s listening to his records

Will take any opportunity to get his hands on you in both every day and nsfw situations. Whether it be putting his hand in your back pocket while walking somewhere, kicking Sam from the shotgun seat solely so he can hold your hand while he’s driving, throwing you over his shoulder while you’re doing chores and forcing you to snuggle with him, or kissing your neck while you’re doing stuff because he’s a horny little shit, he’s gonna do it

During really long stretches between hunts when you guys are just hanging around the bunker not doing anything, he organizes “Nostalgic Media Nights” with popcorn and snacks and the works, where he either locates an old cartoon, movie, or sitcom from when y’all were kids/teens on a streaming platform or bootlegs it, and y’all sit down in the living room to watch it, and it doubles as an “Introduce Cas To Mortal Pop Culture Night” as well. He nearly threw up when Cas said he genuinely enjoyed One Tree Hill when the rest of you guys only put it on to make fun of how bad it was

All of his flannels are organized in his closet in the order of how much he wears them, with the most often worn on the left and the least often worn on the right. Sam hates it and always tries to arrange them by color, but he just puts it right back claiming his system is better anyway

Very handy. He always fixes things in the bunker before you or Sam even notice that they’re broken, and you only learn that they were broken when you ask him what he did that day and he offhandedly mentions that he fixed a thing

He collects vintage cookbooks. He finds them in thrift stores and at flea markets, and a couple times a month you three pick a random book and scour through it to find the most offensive and war crime adjacent recipe you can and try it out. You all like jello much less than you did before you started this tradition

When he gets sick, he’ll deny it and try to keep on trucking until he actually passes out from exhaustion, so you have to borderline barricade him in his room to make sure he stays in bed and gets some rest. And he’s a total grump about it, but he’ll still thank you quietly when you bring him ginger ale and tomato rice soup like his mom used to make

He watches cooking shows for the sole purpose of shit talking the contestants. It’s hilarious to watch him while he’s watching Hell’s Kitchen, because he turns into an American Gordon Ramsay and just roasts the hell out of all the competitors. But when he’s watching Great British Baking Show? He was once heard saying, “Oh come on, Barbara, those bagels are flat as hell! STEP UP YOUR GAME, WOMAN, OR YOU WON’T LIVE TO SEE THE END OF BREAD WEEK!”, and you and Sam proceeded to die laughing

He sings in the shower, but he does it in a way that he puts on a SHOW in the shower. He exclusively listens to hair metal while he’s in the shower, and he acts like he’s actually on stage with all of his favorite artists while washing his pits. Although one time you did hear him singing along to "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift, and you had to fight every urge you had to not record him for blackmail purposes

When he sleeps by himself, he starfishes on his stomach so he can reach the gun under his pillow easier. But when he sleeps with you, he lays on his back with an arm slung around your waist while you’re partially sprawled over him and snuggled into his chest

He’s very bi. Sam always makes jokes that Cas is his boyfriend, but you’re his wife, which always earns a “Confused Angel Head Tilt™️” from Cas, an eye roll from you, and a facepalm from Dean

He taught himself Morse code on a whim because he was bored out of his mind, and for a while he was able to get away with making fun of Sam or “creating chick flick moments” for you, but then you and Sam taught yourselves Morse code and totally call him out on his attempt at being sneaky

He’s absolutely TERRIBLE about keeping New Year’s Resolutions. He makes a list, and he actually follows them for a while as lofty as they end up being, but come February 1st, he’s back to being the same dumpster fire of a human being he was before, but he still gives himself a pat on the back for lasting as long as he did

He’s secretly a cat person. He loves dogs, but he has to admit that cats are badasses. He’s never met a cat that he didn’t immediately like, and cats seem to gravitate towards him because they share his “no fucks given” attitude

He’s insanely good at guessing games like Guess Who, Charades, Pictionary, all that shit. You guys even came up with a way to play Guess Who where the questions you ask are almost too oddly specific based on the vibes of the little character cards, and he still always wins

His favorite way to kiss you is with both of his hands in your hair with your hands on his elbows. He always trails a few cheeky pecks down your neck for fun because he loves it when your cheeks flush bright red when he does

He always texts you to let you know he was thinking about you and what prompted his thoughts. Like “Saw a really pretty sunset earlier. You’re really pretty, too, so I thought of you” or “Saw a really cool car in your favorite color. Made me think of you”, and he always tacks on either a heart emoji or the “<3” because he’s an old man. You can’t help but smile every time you read one of those messages

#logan speaks #logan writes #logan has headcanons #dean winchester headcanons

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regular-lord-reckoner · 1 month

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well, my time off from work is coming to a close, sadly. it always goes by way too fast.

especially because this time it seems like i spent a lot of it doing stuff, like running errands and cleaning.

i took our dog to get his hair cut on tuesday and he was a real good boy the whole time. i bought him a toy for being such a trooper.

on wednesday my mom left for a work trip which she's still on but she'll be back tomorrow. she made it safely and says it's been a peaceful time so i'm glad, she deserves a break.

i spent most of wednesday running errands (mostly looking for a specific hair dye that i went to TWO sallys for and neither had it so i had to order it online but i think this time it's really gonna come out exactly how i want so fingers crossed !!; i also procured some snacks !!)

thursday i decided to do something i've wanted to for a long while and mom said i could if i wanted but she doesn't know so this will be a surprise for her when she gets back, but !!

i woke up early and got to work cleaning out the pantry and the fridge as well as our old fridge which we put on the back porch for extra storage

i knew i only had so much time because the dump closes at 5 and i really wanted to get all the frozen stuff out and be done with it rather than deal with it the next day because i guess if push comes to shove i could drive my dad's truck, but i'm more comfortable using my car and it was already a stink fest in there just doing what i was doing, so...yeah (also thank god for febreeze, jesus christ)

anyway, i uh....i guess i did some grief cleaning because it's almost like you could tell as i was pulling everything out and throwing it all away that it went to hell about the time my dad got sick

a lot of what i threw away was his food, but it's over a year old so it really needs to go, neither mom or i are eating it and it's just going bad, but goddammit it was hard.

throwing away all the prepared meals my mom made for him so we'd have something quick to warm up for him because when he'd get hungry he didn't really wanna wait, it was almost like a wave and he'd only take a few bites and then be done so it was great to have stuff we could put back up. we also just had plenty of his favorites on board like pudding cups, cereals (cap'n crunch the peanut butter kind, frosted wheats, cheerios), peanut butter crackers, fruit cups, graham crackers and peanut butter (are you sensing a theme? lol) and of course...little debbie snack cakes.

not all of what i ended up throwing out was his, a lot of it was mom's and some of it mine as well, but in total i took off 16 bags of trash.

it took me three trips to the dump and a bucket of sweat to do it, but i did it !!!! i almost threw up like three different times, cried a few different times (specifically when i had to dump out the last ice cream he ever had; it was butter pecan and he only took about three or four bites of it but god did he enjoy every bite) and i had to pretty much blow through my lunch because i literally made it with 10 minutes to spare before the dump closed by the time i was dropping the last two bags off, but it's done !!!!!!!!!

i cannot tell you how nice it is now to not have to play jenga every time i want to get something out of the pantry or the fridge, like...jesus christ

it was at the point where every time i'd grab something, even a package of tea or a can of soup it'd cause an avalanche and i'd already pulled out a bunch of stuff from the pantry floor a while ago, but i didn't do the full thing so i thought, fuck it, i have the house to myself, i can blast through this in one day and my mind can rest easy for the rest of the time and goddammit i was right !!

did i do a perfect job ?? no, i did not. i know i didn't get everything, but i'm going to leave some of it up to my mom to decide. my goal was to at least take one thing off her plate since i know that's something that's too overwhelming to even think about and given that it took me a full work day to do it....yeah, i get it.

i think i started around 8:30 and to be fair some of that time was also me cleaning my bathroom as i went and cleaning spills and messes as i went (i also got covered in.....so much garbage juice), but by the time i finally got home and was done it was a little after 5 so yeah !!

i dunked myself in the pool, ordered some food (i got the world's biggest goddamn black bean burgey and i inhaled every bite; i''ll post a picture of it at the end) and then i took a shower and settled in for the night and my god did i sleep solidly that night, i don't think i moved an inch

i was also........exhausted yesterday because of that, just properly, properly worn the hell out, but !!! i had to go to the pharmacy to get my medicine so i went to pick that up and while i was out i also swung by walgreens to see about getting a covid booster. they told me to check back sometime next month because that's when they'd be getting them in so i'll definitely be stopping in when that's available

i also had to get some proper groceries instead of just snacks so i picked some up as well as some food and headed back home to relax

today's been pretty much the same, i had to run out again because i forgot a few things and they were giving out free ice cream at publix so i got some free ice cream :3

they were really nice there, too, the person who took my order said my hair was really neat (i don't know if i've posted it on here, but it's green on top and blue towards the bottom; every time i wash it it looks different but whenever i dye it again i'll do a before and after). i also thanked them for being out there and they were like, "well, we're getting paid," and i said i know, but it's hot out here so i appreciate it and we wished each other a nice day and i scooted off to a secluded spot to enjoy some moose tracks and then headed off to my next stop which was waffle house.

i decided for lunch today and breakfast tomorrow i'd get a to go order of some of my favorites and the person taking my order was so sweet, i ordered a hash brown bowl with no meat, smothered and covered and they were like, "you know, if i double everything it'll actually be cheaper" and went on to explain and all i heard was more hashbrowns, more cheese and more onions so i said let's do that !!

i also got a chocolate chip waffle for the morning and i've got everything i need to make chai as well so that'll be my breakfast :3

tomorrow's going to be another rough one, it's my dad's birthday. second one since he's been gone. he would have been 78. that's wild to think about.

i got the waffle house because it reminds me of him so much. we used to go there so many times, all throughout my life and whether it was us as a family or just me and him it was always nice to sit down somewhere and both of us enjoy a comforting meal together.

he'd usually get the patty melt and liked his bacon well done ("burn it!" he'd always say) and he'd get a black coffee, no cream or sugar and always take his time eating and would tell me to enjoy my food as well.

i usually get hashbrowns (smothered and covered, of course) and sometimes if i'm feeling fancy a side of cheese grits, but here lately they've got this bowl that has the hashbrowns i like but it also comes with egg !! and i usually get an orange juice to go with it

the best part would be whenever my dad would give me some quarters and tell me to go play something on the jukebox and no matter what i chose he'd always nod his head and smile, bop his head along to the song

sometimes he'd get up and play some of his favorite songs (he was a country guy, but he liked the old stuff so any johnny cash or waylon jennings type of thing, but really he'd listen to it all)

he'd always pay and would tip well and we'd be on our way and now it's just forever linked in my mind being there and spending time with him.

it's kinda funny, too, because the one closest to our house actually got torn down not long after he died and i remember because i drove past it like, "i can't have SHIT in this house !!!!" but !!! my mom reminded me that he actually had stopped going to that one because he said it wasn't as good anymore so i almost wonder if he was like, "okay, let's do it again right this time !!" because now they're rebuilding it and i shit you not, it's about to be done right here around his birthday, like the lights are on in that bitch and i've seen employees outside smoking cigarettes, this ship is about it set sail !!!

oh and !! i think they're about to unionize ?? i saw a video about it the other day and one of their demands was security and when i was in there there was a lady that was in there with a shirt on that said "waffle house security" so !! that's neat. and good for them, goddamn. i know it's kind of a meme at this point, but that place really does stay open during goddamn everything and has seen and put up with goddamn everything so hat's off to the employees there, i hope they get everything they want and then some !!

anyway, enough of me rambling about the goddamn house made of waffles, but point is..................i have done a lot of work up until this point and now i'm going to settle in for the night, here in a few minutes i'm going to put our pupper to bed and then i'm going to have an absolute feast on some of the leftovers from yesterday and then probably stay up way later than i should doing whatever the fuck i feel like doing and tomorrow i'm just going to take it nice and easy and think about my dad a lot

i don't have anywhere i need to go, i've run all my errands, i'll probably be doing just a little more picking up and minor cleaning tonight so that in the morning and tomorrow i don't have to do a damn thing except take care of myself and the critters and my mom will be home at some point so we'll spend some time together in a nice clean house

oh, and !! yesterday i also tried my hand at making our dog's homemade food. (yes, he gets special food because he's a special boy and we love him very much)

my mom looked up a recipe for his breed and checked to make sure all the ingredients are doggo safe but it's mostly some type of meat (this time i used ground turkey but i think last time she used chicken), brown rice and vegetables like spinach, green beans, sweet potato, peas and carrots.

you throw all that in the crockpot with some unsalted chicken broth and a little bit of water and cook it for a few hours, stirring every few hours and bada boom, you've got enough food to fill up five containers that used to hold egg drop soup from a Chinese restaurant my mom likes. i think he liked it, too !! ( the food i made him, not the egg drop soup...)

but yeah, i think tomorrow's going to be okay. i'm sure i'll probably cry, i'm sure i'm going to miss him like hell, but i've also put in a lot of work to make this place really nice for all of us and i'm trying to pour as much good energy into this space as i possibly can so i'm going to get back to doing that and take it easy for the rest of my little vacation.

i hope if you're reading this you're doing well and also trying to take it easy. shit is....rough so you deserve a break and a little treat. be good to yourself if you can. love you <3

P.S.: LOOK AT THIS BLACK BEAN BURGER

also my free ice cream (with a color changing spoon !!)

#i've got a candle warmer going right now that's oatmeal cake scent :3 #goddamn the summers just keep getting rougher and rougher #but i guess i'm also getting tougher and tougher #anyway #night y'all #<3 #:3

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bomberqueen17 · 2 years

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stressy

so today we got up, and i drank some coffee and made some plans for the day, because huzzah, no work today due to driving bans still in effect also the parking lot at work has not and cannot be plowed.

First order of business was to shovel out the driveway though, so I ate half a granola bar and girded myself in snow gear and out we went. We own a small snowblower, which has a mouth that can take up to about twelve inches of snow. Given that the total for our area was around 49″, that wasn’t gonna work. But what we could do, was use the snow shovels and a garden spade to shovel out a patch, and then chop the snow drifts into that patch and run the snowblower over that patch again and again, to take the snow and fling it up over the very high snowbanks.

So we did that, Dude and I, for an hour and some change. And at the end of it, we had busted the huge drift that was blocking us off from the street.

So we came inside and had toast for breakfast, and congratulated ourselves. and then I set to work on cleaning the house. Farmsister and her family are staying here on the night of the 1st, and the guest bedroom is full of my clothes and the living room is full of all the debris I never unpacked from various trips back and forth and back and forth to the cabin.

First thing I did was fasten some adhesive hooks to the wall where my coat rack fell down last year; I’ve been keeping my coats in a pile on the floor ever since because if I put them into the closet I lose them forever. That was a great start, but then I... think the stress of the last couple of days weeks months really caught up, and i spent the next several hours wandering fretfully in circles. I did get a lot of tidying done but in tiny intervals, cycling among tasks in little microbursts of activity that, while productive, were not in any way organized.

I did make a hearty lunch-- we have no milk in the house, so when I made box mac n cheese I had to use sour cream-- and we had a few lil smokies sausages left, so what I did was that I browned an onion for a very long time in butter, then threw the lil smokies in, chopped, and then deglazed the pan with some pasta water, and stirred in the sour cream to that and then added the cheese powder and then the cooked macaroni and voila, gourmet, bone apple teeth. We needed something substantial after all that shoveling.

Dude caught on that I was stressed, and asked what he could clean. i asked him to clean off the bathroom counter. He spent two hours on this, which is fantastic-- removed every item, considered it, and threw it out if it wasn’t still good, and put it back if it was still good. Now that counter is presentable. The floor is not, but he did the tub last week, so it’s almost like grown people live in this house.

I found my long-lost kindle, which had slipped into a drawer in the sewing desk in the living room. i also de-silted the sewing desk, so I could set up my new electric spinning wheel there. Am very excited about that. Also excited because my mother gave me an enormous bag of beautifully prepared wool from Battenkill Fibers, a gorgeous silky longwool of some kind, pin-drafted, just off-white, suitable for dyeing.

I wanted to write. I’m so so so close to an update for Awakening. And I’m not like. *far* off from an update for Golden Towers. I want to finish both by the end of the year, know I won’t manage it, but at least I might finish the first one. I have so many ideas; I put a bunch of little things into the Wanksmas round, and some will wind up being in the main continuity and some will not. I wrote neither smut nor really to any of the prompts, but I did manage drabbles, and really it’s just nice to be involved in something.

(One thing I wrote, I left on anon by adding it to the anonymous collection. Wonder if anyone will guess which one it was!)

Anyway, we hiked over to Dude’s mom’s house again, where she had prepared christmas dinner for just us. A twelve-pound ham, split three ways! but there was nothing to be done, no room for the whole thing in the freezer. We couldn’t get Dude’s aunt there, due to the driving bans; she’s not quite spry enough anymore to walk that last tenth of a mile in the deep snow, and her oven isn’t working well enough to have her host it (Dude’s mom could probably make the walk and we could’ve picked her up, but it wasn’t worth the logistical hassle and, to be fair, it is rather a difficult walk.)

oh i forgot to finish this entry. Well, I’ll post it this morning. We had a lovely dinner of Too Much Ham and some very decadent potatoes and of course the variant on greenbean casserole that his family eats. And we helped her clear some snow from shrubberies in her front yard, and had intended to help clear her driveway but her neighbors had already done so. No plows have been by so there’s not much point doing more.

I’m terribly sore now from shoveling and moving boxes to clean the house. I’m glad I did as much as I did heavy lifting-wise yesterday. Now it’s morning and I’ve awoken before 5 to discover that yeah I’ve mildly fucked up my back, so that’s awesome. But I have had many healing cat snuggles and also like a handful of ibuprofen so I have some hopes of the situation resolving itself.

I can confirm that about four more inches of snow fell overnight but it looks to be fluffy so we’ll be fine.

#about the author #real life #blizzard of '22

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smokeybrandreviews · 2 years

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Saturnalia

I didn’t expect to update on Azur Lane so soon but i kind of had to. There is a rerun Sardegna Empire event and i absolutely had to participate. My current quest is, in fact, the Ruskies but it’s hard to ignore the Italian faction considering they’re kind of my fourth favorite dock, after the KMS, IJN, and SN. I actually cleaned up during the last Itai event a while ago, doubling the amount of ships i had in that dock. Aquilifer's Ballade went a long way to my overall Fleet health, giving me a ton of experience and blueprints to finish out my then developing Kraut dock. Plus, i mean, Roma is a thing and i needed to own her so, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound. I ended up added all six of those Aquilifer’s ships to my dock so there is incentive to continue. So far, i have eighteen of the twenty-five available Sardegna ships and i kind of feel like i should go for the rest? I mean, i missed one of the reruns, Empyreal Tragicomedy, so i don’t know how feasible that would be. But, at the same time, i did roll Pola, Zara, and Littorio on random Banners so, maybe? At the very least, i didn’t let this particular rerun of Daedalian Hymn pass me by.

Not gonna lie, this sh*t was costly. This Banner dipped into my pockets heavy. I did not have the Gacha touch this time around. I am a little perturbed about that but, i mean, i rolled all of the available ships. I was looking to pop Aquila, and kind of only Aquila, but she didn’t drop until, like, three days into the event. I had secured every other ship available at that point; Vittorio Veneto, Libeccio, Maestrale, and multiple Nicoloso da Recco, so i was kind of frustrated. I was down under a hundred Wisdom Cubes, something i never do, but finally, Aquila popped. It was bittersweet because i ran through, like, two hundred Cubes to make this happen. Torricelli and Duca degli Abruzzi were a given due to the fact they’re both basically Point awards but getting to those Banner girls was f*cked up. Like, I'm not mad but i am definitely disappointed. Sh*t taxed my pockets more than chasing literally every Ultra Rare ship i own, and the Itais don’t even have a goddamn UR ship to their name! The f*ck? All that said, Vittorio Veneto's costume, The Flower of La Spezia, is top tier cheesecake, man. Live 2D never looked so good!

It’s nuts to think i spent all those resources and time on the grind, for, at best, a tertiary priority. Right now, my focus is on my Northern Parliament dock because those boats are gorgeous. I love their look, with all of the ice and dragon-like artillery. They have a very Iron Blood feel to them and we all know how much i love my Krauts. That said, not much has changed with my current grind. I mean, i was able to get Chapayev and Sovetskya to level 120, with Avrora bringing up the rear at 119. Every ship in my dock, right now, is fully Limit Broken, and I'm slowly, but steadily, leveling up their skills. It’s been a while since I've had such a tall order to fill. It took, what? Two years or so to max out my KMS dock? I imagine it will take much less time to top off my SN Fleet, however. I mean, they have, like, a third of the Iron Blood ships. I already have nineteen of the twenty-three. Literally only missing the boats from Kronshtadt’s event, Abyssal Refrain, and that has yet to have a rerun so I'm feeling pretty good there. I was able to construct Chkalov and have been on the grind to get her completed but that leaves me at a loss. I've be grinding out Hakuryuu blueprints with every intention of Constructing her next but, now that I have such a strong stake in my Sardegna dock, maybe I should go for Marco Polo? I dunno. Something to ponder, I guess? Also, I'm missing Tashkent for some reason because i have the rest of the ships from her event. It’s whatever, though. She can be my Ruskie version of U-110; The ever illusive ship i missed that may or may not bless my dock through unforeseen circumstances. Wishing well, I'm looking at you!

#Azur Lane #Sardegna Empire #Daedalian Hymn

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Saturnalia

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yikimiki · 3 years

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What about stepbros Zeke & Eren tag teaming their little princess🤭

stepbro!eren x fem!reader x stepbro!zeke | warnings: smut, stepcest, all characters are adults, threesome, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, spanking, breast play, praise kink, size kink, creampie(s)

♡ ♡ ♡

You knew it would come to this — it always does. It’s rare that both your brothers are home at once, always busy with either college or work, and, even more so, that they’re in good terms. You have no idea what kind of love/hate relationship goes down in the Jaeger family, but you are beyond used to seeing Eren and Zeke with a frown on their faces when the other walks in, therefore the vision of them talking in friendly terms always catches you off guard.

The text from your mom comes just as you’re walking home — dad and I are out on a date! Zeke and Eren are home and you can all order something to eat — and the late warning has you rolling your eyes. You like your makeshift brothers most of the time (you swear you do) but you seriously need a relaxing night and, by experience, being home alone with the two of them is always anything but.

It all starts when you throw yourself on your bed, groaning loudly at the tension on your shoulders as Zeke walks into your room, hands in his pockets and a curious look on his face. “Tired?” He asks.

“Exhausted. My back is killing me,” you answer, pressing two fingers against your temple. “Mom said we can order something tonight. They’re out on a date.”

Zeke takes a step toward the bed, eyeing you up and down. “We can do that, Eren says he wants pizza.” You nod at his words, expecting him to take a jab at his younger brother’s wishes. It doesn’t come, though, Zeke just sits behind you in bed, two large hands coming up to press against your tense shoulders. When he speaks up again, his voice is husky and low against your ear. “And we can make you feel better if you want, princess.”

Once again, you knew it would come to this. What can you say? You’re weak, and you’ve gone through every excuse in the book in order to convince yourself that what you’re doing with your two stepbrothers isn’t that weird. You’re not biologically related and, frankly, you haven’t even heard of the two of them a little over a year ago. You’re all consenting adults and... they just feel... so good. And they take care of you so well.

It’s an unspoken truth between you three that the two of them work like beasts when they’re in the same tune. Zeke has barely started massaging your shoulders when Eren walks into your room, then is just a matter of minutes and a few shared looks until he is pushing you against Zeke’s chest and spreading your legs so he can take off your pants and lick your pussy clean. The hands that were caressing you are now strongly keeping your body in place, Zeke kissing up your neck as his younger brother makes you whimper and moan.

“Shhh, relax, princess,” he says, big hands slowly sliding up your torso, squeezing your breasts. The motion of Eren’s tongue against your clit is making your vision blurry, wave of pleasure growing faster by the second. “Let your big brothers take care of you. You’ve had such a long day, hm?”

“Y-Yes,” you agree breathlessly. The buttons of your shirt come undone one by one until the white cotton is thrown on the floor. You’re almost cumming as Eren groans against your slit, moving up to kiss your hips, your belly, until his mouth is settling on your nipple. Zeke pushes the two mounds together, bruising the skin as the younger sucks on it. “P-Please let me cum.”

It’s Eren who answers, his nose bumping against yours as he raises his stare to look at you. “You’re gonna cum, princess,” he assures, voice low. His lips are swollen and wet, brushing against yours as he speaks. His next question is not directed to you, but his stare doesn’t falter. “How do you want her?”

Zeke hums, nonchalantly placing two long fingers over your slit. You shiver as he starts rubbing your clit slowly, barely enough to give you any pleasure. “She’s so wet,” he muses, thinking for a second. His other hand moves upward, holding your jaw as his thumb presses against your lips. Eren moves back to watch it too, how you are eager to suck it into your mouth, warm tongue swirling around it. Zeke sighs. “But this mouth is so fucking perfect too. She always sucks my cock so well.”

“So, what is it?” Eren presses on. “I’m being nice enough for letting you choose this time, so hurry up.”

Zeke scoffs. You almost choke on your own spit when he switches his thumb with his middle and ring finger, thrusting them in and out of your mouth. “It’s my turn to choose, you did it last time,” he remembers. Eren rolls his eyes. “I want my cock in her mouth.”

Eren smirks, happy with that decision. His gaze returns to you, to your perfectly overwhelmed face. “Gonna let me fuck your tight little cunt, baby?” He asks. You nod instantly. “Good girl. Hands and knees for me.”

With a bit of maneuvering, everything falls into place. You turn around, facing Zeke, and pull his pants down as you hear Eren’s zipper opening behind you, your bare heat exposed and glistening. Zeke grunts when his cock springs free from his pants, one hand automatically landing on the back of your head as you lean closer to it, warm tongue licking up his length. “Perfect little thing,” he praises, meeting your doe eyes as you wrap your lips around his tip. Behind you, Eren sends a surprise smack against your ass, making you whimper around the other’s cock. “Fuck, that’s a good girl, wanna see you choking on it.”

“She’s so fucking horny,” Eren breathes out, heavy cock resting against your ass. You wiggle your body towards him, hearing him snicker behind you, fisting his girth. “Look at this, our little sister is soaked for us.”

“Yeah?” Zeke asks, barely holding back a moan when you suck him. “Make her feel good or I will.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he warns. You moan loudly when Eren’s crown slips between your folds, pushing past the tight ring of muscle and setting into your pussy. He curses about how wet and small you feel, how his thick cock throbs when he bottoms out. You are sobbing around Zeke by the time that Eren starts with a rough, steady pace, throwing your body forward so the other’s cock is pushed deep inside your throat. “Fuck, this pussy’s so good, can’t wait to fill it up.”

“Gonna let your brother fuck you full of his cum, princess?” Zeke asks, pulling on your hair. You moan around his cock, hoping he realizes you’re agreeing with it. “Yeah? Gonna be a good girl and let us use your tight little cunt however we want?” Once again, you moan. Eren slaps your ass again, moaning something about how tightly you’re clenching around him, trying to milk his cum. “Fuck, you know I have to feel that pussy around my cock later. Wanna cum inside too, fill our sister up.”

“Feels so fucking good,” Eren says, sounding completely dazed behind you. His cock is so big that your legs are starting to give in, whimpers and sobs pushing past your chest as you sink your mouth deep around Zeke’s member. You just feel so full, so cherished, that you can’t even remember why you felt so tired in the first place. “She’s so fucking tight, I don’t even know how she can take my cock so deep.”

Zeke breathes out, shivering when you gag around him. “You’re made for it, aren’t you, baby?” You whine out, barely hearing as Eren reaches his high, emptying his balls inside you and fucking himself through his orgasm. You only notice once his cum starts leaking out of you, and Zeke notices it too. “Fuck, that’s our good girl,” he praises, but his touch is harsh as he yanks your head up, teary eyes looking up at him. “I need your pussy now.”

Eren groans behind you, pounding into you a few more times until his sensitive cock can’t take it anymore. Your pretty hole flutters when he moves away, a blob of white cum leaking out. “Gonna get both?” Eren asks, pulling his cock out of you. “Only if I can fuck her throat too.”

“Learn how to share,” Zeke answers. You’re shivering by now, orgasm torn from you twice in a row. Your big brother sighs, caressing your cheek as Eren pushes his cum back inside your pussy, moaning something about how you’re still so tight. “Look what you’ve done to her, Eren, she hasn’t cum.”

Eren clicks his tongue. “Not my fault. Finish her off, then.”

With a bit of teamwork, both of them do. In a matter of seconds, you’re on your back and Zeke is pounding like a madman inside you, stretching you out as Eren’s cum drips down his cock, your thighs, making a mess on the bed. Eren decides to position himself next to you, eager hands exploring your body, teasing your clit as his mouth sucks onto the skin of your neck. When you’re about to cum, Eren pulls your face towards him, making out with you as you reach your high; playing with and sucking on your tongue as your brother spills himself inside your abused pussy.

When Zeke pulls out, you feel the mixture of their cums leaking out of you, and you can’t even process the bickering that follows — Eren wanting you to suck his cock now, Zeke saying you’re too tired — because you just feel so good. Peace never lasts between those two, but, when it does, it brings along amazing gifts.

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lovetorn · 3 years

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dream’s birthday bash [roommate!dream au]

Roommate!Dream x Reader

summary: it’s dream’s birthdayyyy!!!

warnings: alcohol, swearing

w/c: 2.9k+

a/n: happy birthday dream!! i’m in love w this. i hope u are too. also, there is a few references to past roommate!dream blurbs & one-shots, so i recommend reading those before you start this one or you may be a little confused at some things the characters say. thanks!! <3

roommate!dream masterlist

—

Dream’s birthday is something you haven't experienced yet since you moved in together in September last year.

Dream had promised the football team that his birthday party was going to be the biggest of the year, so you, being the party planner, had vowed to make it the best because Dream can’t organise—he disagreed and said that he only made you the party planner because he knows you’re good at it?? You gave him a confused look; you’ve never planned a party before.

Anyway, the 12th was approaching quicker than you anticipated and the only things you’d organised so far is the alcohol (thanks to George) and decorations. You had little notes on your phone with multiple checklists and you had yet to tick every last box off.

Organising food was probably the hardest thing. You knew that there were going to be around 100+ people squeezing into your apartment, drinking, so food is essential. You asked Dream what types of food he wanted, his reply?

“Chicken wings, not spicy.”

You rolled your lips between your teeth and nodded. Great. “Anything else? There’s gonna be a lot of people, Dream.”

He brought his fingers to rest on his lips as he thought about it. You knew when he got an idea because then he clicked his fingers and pointed at you. “Sandwiches. You know, like the little ones?”

Squinting at him, you sighed. “You think that’s going to be enough for more than 100 people?”

Dream nods. “Easy.”

You shake your head in disbelief and add sandwiches, along with other finger foods, to the list. “Thanks.”

Next to organise was Dream’s present. You spent days racking your brain, trying to figure out what he would want, eventually coming up with nothing.

So, you asked Sapnap, who was no help. “Fuck if I know, the man buys anything he wants himself these days.”

You rolled your eyes and took a trip to Target. Whilst there, you decided on an excess of small gag gifts: a Ron Swanson dishwasher magnet (so you and Dream can stop arguing over who put dirty dishes in with the clean ones), an engraved bottle opener, a ‘do not disturb sign for his bedroom door (chosen based on one too many run-ins), a Minecraft ice cube tray, a toothbrush holder (so both of your toothbrushes stop touching in the cup), and a pack of Minecraft socks.

You put the small presents into a gift bag, covering them with tissue paper, and then put in the final piece that wasn’t a joke gift—a mixtape of your and Dream’s favourite songs for his car. You brushed your thumb over the plastic case and let out a breathy laugh at the photo on the front—a selfie of the two of you in Dream's car, energy drinks in your hands and toothy grins with the text, ‘Dream & Y/n’s Gr8est Hits’ written in bright pink marker. You're excited to give it to him, but you're nervous and embarrassed, too—is it lame?

You shook your head and placed the bag in your closet.

George delivered the alcohol earlier in the day: 18 cases of beer and the same in White Claw, and a few bottles of vodka and rum for the close friends. You couldn't thank him enough for helping you, even more so after he helped put the covered trays of food in the refrigerator from the delivery truck downstairs.

You had (reluctantly) asked Sapnap to organise music because you had no time in between making sure the food order was correct and getting yourself ready. He agreed immediately and waved off your hesitance and told you he'd make the best playlist to ever exist—you put too much trust in him.

Before the party, you and Dream had taken a few shots together, just to get you to stop stressing over the planning of the party and Dream to stop worrying for you.

"Ready?" Dream smirked, his shot glass hanging loosely from his fingers. You nodded and then, at the same time, tapped the glass on the counter before you threw the shot back. The acetone taste of the vodka slid down your throats and you made disgusted faces at each other before a knock at the door indicated that your first guests were here.

Now, the party is in full swing and it's safe to say, there is definitely enough food.

When you see Sapnap at the food table, aka the kitchen counter, he thanks you for ordering non-spicy wings. You shake your head, laugh, and hug him tightly. "I'm serious," He mumbles with chicken in his mouth. "These are so~ good!"

The living room is cramped, but nobody seems to be complaining. Almost everyone from the apartment block is in your flat right now, with a few from other complexes. You lost sight of Dream a few hours ago, choosing to stay with your own friends while he hangs with his as the two groups don't usually mingle together.

“Niki!” You laugh whilst the girl finishes her second shot and passes the bottle of rum back to you. Shaking your head, you bring the large bottle to your lips, already regretting mixing different alcohols. You’d already had a few White Claws, thanks to Sapnap who kept challenging you to shotguns at the start.

Karl comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist before he snatches the bottle out of your hand and takes a swig.

“Karl!” Now, all three of you are laughing together. He slides his hand off of your stomach and stands to his full height, putting his lips to the White Claw can he holds in his other hand. You warn him about mixing alcohol, but he waves you off and assures you that he's fine.

The three of you stand on the dance floor, grooving to the beat of 'Super Freak' by Rick James. You grab Karl's hand to spin him around and then do the same to Niki, laughter filling the small space you have created in the middle of the crowd. You wouldn't admit it to Sapnap, but his playlist is actually good.

"Mi Amor!" The sound of Quackity's voice pulls you from your little group with Niki and Karl and you smile when you see his wide grin as he pushes past a few football players.

"Q! When did you get here? I didn't see you come in," You engulf him in a hug and giggle when he laughs loudly.

"I came in through the window," You pull back slightly to give him an incredulous look and shake your head. God, you are tipsy. "Nahhh, I had an exam, so I just got here."

You nod and feel the rum going straight to your head. Quackity then notices Karl and Niki behind you and gives them hugs too. You watch as your friends greet each other and turn to look at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 10:33 pm.

“Guys, it's time for cake!” You shout over the music to Niki, Quackity and Karl and they smile and nod, all three of you migrating to the fridge to collect Dream’s cake and get it ready.

You pull a 3 layered vanilla cake out of the refrigerator. It is slathered in white icing and has rainbow sprinkles on the top with the words, ‘happy birthday dream’, in piped icing. Karl's mouth waters at the sight of the dessert and when he goes to get a dollop of icing from the side, you don’t smack his hand away—you have a plan.

Other guests see you preparing the candles and lighting them and turn off the lights for you. You smile at the 21 lit candles and pick up the cake, being careful not to trip on anything.

The entire room starts singing the ‘Happy Birthday’ anthem, their phones out to film as you spot Dream’s messy blonde hair over the crowd. He scrunches his face up in embarrassment and switches his beer from his right hand to his left to give you a side hug and a peck on the cheek when you approach him. The room sings and all attention is on him, but Dream only has eyes for you as you inch the cake closer so he can blow out his candles.

After he does so, the room erupts into cheers and then you give Dream a mischievous grin. There’s a little fear in his eyes and you launch the cake towards his face. Everybody laughs and hollers when you pull the cake stand away from him to see his face covered in white icing and rainbow sprinkles. Dream stands frozen for a moment, wiping his eyes with his free hand, before he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him, rubbing the icing in your hair and on your cheek.

“Dream!” You cackle, trying to push him off, but failing and eventually succumbing to his hold. The phone torches shine brightly at the two of you as people continue filming. His laughter is music to your ears.

Dream smiles down at you, eyes lazy and cheeks flushed. “Thank you,” He whispers. Your heart flutters in your chest and butterflies swarm your stomach as you nod. Everybody disperses and carries on with their previous antics, leaving you and Dream together.

“I got you a present, I’ll give it to you when everybody’s gone.”

The sentence makes the present seem more sensual than it actually is, and it makes Dream’s heart skip a beat—but he knows it’s not what he’s thinking. You pull away from Dream and wave back at him, knocking into a few people which elicits a laugh from him as he watches.

“Dude, you’re so fucked,” George says, smirking as he follows Dream’s gaze on you. Dream elbows George in the bicep.

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah bro, if you don’t make a move soon, someone else will,” Sapnap comments, coming up to stand on Dream’s other side. The urge to punch the both of them is strong, but instead, the blonde groans and skulls the rest of his beer as he loses sight of you in the crowd.

—

“Bye, guys! Thanks for coming!” Dream tries his best to look composed, but he’s so drunk. As soon as the door closes, he locks it and lets out a huge sigh. You come out of your room with the gift bag in your hands. Dream raises his eyebrows and attempts to give you a surprised look. “Wow, a present?”

You giggle and lead him to the couch. He flops down, throws his feet up and puts his hands behind his head. You sit next to him and shove the bag into his hands. “It’s not much, but you literally have everything already, so this is what I came up with.”

You hold your breath and you watch him pick through the bag. A smile breaks out on his face when he sees the CD. He flips it around to show you as if you haven’t seen it before and opens the case. “A mixtape? How romantic.”

The heat that rises to your cheeks is scolding and you stop yourself from choking. Dream, however, doesn’t look at you as he digs through and comments on every item. When he’s gone through every gift, he picks up the mixtape again and looks you dead in the eyes.

“This is the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever gotten for my birthday. Thank you, Y/n.”

You’re surprised. “The most thoughtful? It’s only a CD.”

Dream’s face contorts into one of confusion. “Only a CD? You made this for me with your own blood, sweat and tears.” You wouldn’t go that far.

“Oh, well, you’re welcome, I guess,” You laugh, reaching down to grasp his large hand. The action causes Dream to tilt his head and shift closer to you.

“Seriously, thank you. You mean so much to me,” He confesses, although you can barely hear it. You feel tears pricking your eyes as you watch him wipe his own. “Fuck, why am I getting emotional? It’s that fucking vodka, that’s why.”

“Don’t make up excuses, D,” You tease, squeezing his hand a few times. He wheezes lightly then sighs. His green eyes are so bright and there’s still a little smudge of icing on the side of his nose from the cake. You reach up and wipe it away, licking your thumb beforehand. Dream closes his eyes as you do so, biting his lip as you pull your hand away. 2:29 am.

“Okay, I think it’s time to get you to bed,” You mumble as you stand up, the moment broken. Dream nods, collecting his presents and chucking them all in the gift bag before he follows you to his room, a little disappointed.

Dream stands in the doorway and watches as you pull back his bed covers and turn on the lamp on his nightstand. “Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight,” You push past him before you turn. “I’ll have Gatorade and Advil ready for you in the morning, okay?”

Dream gives you a loving smile and nods, still holding the bag in front of him as he stands in the middle of his room. “Goodnight, Y/n, thanks for everything.”

You close the door behind you and when you get back to your room, you kick yourself for not making a move. You peel your clothes off of your body and throw them in the corner of the room, the space becoming too hot for your liking—maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the fact that it's summer, or maybe it's your utter embarrassment and regret; you don't bother to choose which one.

You flop down on your bed, half-naked, and stare at the ceiling. Why didn't you make a move? It was the perfect opportunity—

Your thoughts are forgotten when there's a soft knock on your bedroom door. You scramble to put some pyjamas on as you call, 'just a second!', and then you're swinging your door open.

Dream stands there in his sweatpants only. You resist the urge to rake your eyes down his torso.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" The question surprises you—of fucking course it surprises you! The only reason he comes to your room at night is to vent; not like this.

"Uh, yeah," You reply, cracking the door open just a tad wider so he can slip through. Once he's inside, you sigh in confusion and close your door quietly. Dream is already sorting out the bed situation behind you, throwing your hundreds of throw pillows onto the floor and lifting up your duvet so he can slip under.

You tilt your head at him when he looks at you expectantly—you assume he's waiting for you to get in bed, which you do.

You rest your head on your pillow and turn your head to look at Dream, who is already staring at you. Your skin is hot and your heart is in your throat when you see how green his eyes are in the warm glow of your lamp.

"What's up?" You whisper although you didn't mean for it to come out so low. Dream's eyes trace your face; your eyes, eyebrows, nose, freckles, lips. "Dream?"

He's silent for a while and you guess it's because he's trying to figure out his drunken thoughts. "I just wanted to be with you, you know," He says, his voice breaking slightly. You suck in a breath, turning onto your side so you face him. "You planned my party all by yourself and I'm so happy you did."

You don't have the heart to tell him that George and Sapnap helped you, he looks so content. "I'm so glad, Dreamy," Your voice is velvety, and you can't help the warm feeling blooming in your chest. Dream's eyes travel from your own to your lips and stay there.

“C’mere," Dream mumbles. You barely nod before you lean closer to him.

You can tell Dream is figuring out what to do by the way his lips part and then close suddenly a few times, so, for the second time this week, you take things into your own hands.

You scoot closer to him, your breaths mixing in the small space between your lips and his nose bumping yours. You were so close. But not close enough.

"Dream, I'm gonna do something crazy, okay? Don't hate me," Here goes nothing.

"I could never hate you, baby," Dream murmurs, adjusting his head on his pillow. The pet name goes straight to your head and throwing out any and all rational thoughts, you lean in and place your lips softly on his.

It takes him a few seconds to react and in those moments, you fear you've made a huge mistake, but when his hands find your hips and pull you impossibly closer, you're glad you kissed him—are kissing him.

This is nothing like wine night a few weeks ago.

Your hands find the back of his head and tug on his hair lightly, earning a throaty groan. The sound makes you clench your fists and pull a little harder. You move your lips across his jaw and towards his ear. "Happy Birthday, birthday boy," You whisper.

Dream lets out a breathy laugh and hugs you closer. His face presses into your neck and you feel him leaving feather-light kisses on your skin. The feeling makes you giddy.

"I'm one lucky birthday boy, aren't I?" He mutters, pecking your neck firmer now. You giggle softly, running your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

"You bet your ass you are."

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years

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𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 || dark!Bucky Barnes & dark!Steve Rogers x reader

summary: a little fresh air never hurt anyone, right?

word count: 10.3k (yes, OVER TEN THOUSAND WORDS OF FILTH what is wrong with me)

warnings: noncon smut (incl. anal, oral m and f receiving, dp, and spitroasting), bondage/restraint (and a gag), some mild violence, lots of slapping, pussy spanking, forced orgasms, degradation/derogatory language, kinda kidnapping, a touch of stockholm syndrome?, very brief breeding kink, period-typical sexism (this is set in the late 60s but you wouldn't really be able to tell aside from that and the lack of technology)

a/n: the song that plays on the radio, and the song that just so happens to be the title of the fic, is by john lee hooker in case anyone wants the proverbial vibes

You needed a chance to clear your head every once in a while, that's what camping in the woods was for. It was the perfect time of year for it, too; the leaves were changing, the woodland animals were beginning to prepare for hibernation, and the weather was almost warm with a refreshing breeze that promised to bring the winter chill soon enough.

It was far from your first time in these woods, you knew the drive like the back of your hand by now, just as well as you knew how to hike down to the best places to set up camp.

You set down your pack and took in a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. No sounds except for the wind in the trees, the trickle of the creek, and your own thoughts which you found pleasantly blank. You'd chosen a spot by the creek, where you could spearfish on evenings that you felt especially adventurous, with a nice dirt patch perfect for a fire. The most dangerous thing about camping in the fall was that the dry leaves could catch flame so easily, so one of the key stages of setting up camp was raking away any foliage from your firepit, lest it become unintentional kindling.

The next order of business was finding a few dozen smooth stones to surround the fire, along with some logs and sticks to burn.

A knife and flint was just enough to speed up your firebuilding so that you had something solid going by nightfall, shedding your jacket to better feel the warmth as the flames grew and the sun set.

Sure, the woods could feel a little… creepy, at night, for lack of a better word, but it was more tranquil than anything. Most of the wildlife that was so active during the day stilled and silenced, bar the occasional owl’s hoot, so the loudest sounds were the crackling of your fire and the ever-present trickle of the creek. You heated your kettle for a cup of chamomile tea, something to help you get to sleep on the admittedly uncomfortable sleeping bag in your canvas tent.

The mug warmed your fingers as you filled and held it, and the steam warmed your face as you took a sip; but the contents warmed your chest, and your soul, as you contemplated the flavors; is it possible that tea tastes better when enjoyed in the quiet woods, mid-autumn?

You were already yawning by the time the mug was finished, so you set it aside and crawled into your tent, shedding the excessive layers and slipping between the fluffy down-stuffed layers of your bedroll. It was chilly at first but you knew your body heat would make it toasty all too soon, so you ignored the way you shivered as you fluffed your pillow and laid it under your head.

It was dark with only the fading light of your fire seeping in through the thick-weave canvas; and it was quiet, being the middle of the forest and all. One sound you didn’t expect were distant sirens, barely audible, which made you wonder if something had happened, but you couldn't know what so you didn't pay it much mind as you drifted to sleep.

The next morning came early, of course; as early as the sun rose, warm sunlight flooding through the canvas of your tent.

You enjoyed staying in the bed for a while, not so much because it was very comfortable (it wasn’t) but just because you wanted to relish having no need to get up yet. No job, no cleaning, no chores… though you were pretty hungry so that inspired you to get up and see about breakfast.

Slipping on a few more layers to protect yourself from the morning breeze, you opened your tent and stepped out into the woods, finding your fire had been reduced to a pile of embers meaning that you would need to find more wood to get it going for breakfast-cooking purposes. And that’s what you were about to do when you heard a snapping of twigs echo through the woods, making you glance up to the source of the noise.

Your back straightened instantly at the sight of two men, one with short blonde hair and the other’s dark and nearly to his shoulders, walking down the hill nearby just across the creek. They were still pretty distant, and yet they were much too close for comfort; close enough to see that these were not men one would want to encounter while alone in the woods.

They had new clothes— baggy and loose, almost certainly stolen— but it wasn’t enough to hide where they must’ve come from. They might as well have still been in jumpsuits with numbers on their chests.

The prison, just over five miles away. Had they really hiked this far? You kicked yourself now for ignoring the sirens last night.

You froze as they turned and caught your gaze, the three of you locked in a stare for a brief moment before one of them took a step forward: that was all the cause you needed to run like hell, turning on your heel and starting so fast you nearly slipped on the leaves beneath you. You heard them call out, chasing after you, but you focused on staring ahead and trying to remember the path back home, or at least to the road where someone might drive by to help you.

A root nearly caught your foot but you kept running, hating that you could hear them gaining on you since it didn’t actually seem to help you run any faster. You looked back and saw them much too close for comfort, but when you looked back ahead it was too late to avoid the tree right in front of you; you swerved but it still made you slip and almost fall.

But you didn’t fall. Someone caught you, and grabbed you, and pulled you into his oppressive form.

His arms held you painfully tight as his hand covered your mouth. "Gotcha," the man growled against your ear, licking the shell of it as you struggled against his grip.

Everything everyone had told you about why a lady shouldn’t camp alone in the woods suddenly flashed in your mind, your eyes squinting shut as you wished you had listened. All you could do now was kick wildly, swinging your legs in the air which didn't even do anything.

"Pretty little thing, aren't ya?” he purred as you saw the second man come into view— the blonde one, so you knew it was the one with long, dark hair that must’ve been holding you, giving you such a twisted compliment. “Just beggin' to be fucked right."

"Don't look so scared, sweetheart, we're not gonna hurt you…” the blonde man explained, “just play nice and we will too."

"Speak for yourself, Rogers," the man holding you snarled. "Been a long time since I got to feel a pussy, I wanna tear this little bitch up."

You sobbed and writhed as the one apparently called Rogers hushed you soothingly, trying to calm you. "Hey, just do what we say and it won't hurt alright? Just take it easy."

He stepped closer, reaching out towards you while you grunted and whined with every kick, smiling in a way that would’ve been soothing in nearly any other situation. He motioned to his partner who slowly lowered his hand from your mouth, and though your instinct was to scream you just heard yourself panting and whimpering instead.

“Did you hear me? We’re not gonna hurt you. We haven’t even introduced ourselves yet… I’m Steve, and this here is my cellmate— uh, friend— Barnes.”

“But you can call me Bucky, dollface,” the man behind you added with a little smile that you could hear and feel with him pressing up so close to your face.

“See, he and I just came from an awful, terrible place—”

“I know where you came from,” you cut him off with a snarl. “You’re criminals! You’re scum!”

Bucky just laughed and held you tighter until your arms started to ache from struggling against him.

“Hey now, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve corrected firmly— not angry, but stern. “I was framed, I served seven years for something I didn’t do. You’re innocent, too, right Barnes?”

“No,” he instantly answered, making Steve look disappointed. “Oh, uh, sure. Yeah, I was framed. Real sob story,” he suddenly decided, not sounding like he was trying that hard to convince you.

“Point is, we were all alone for a long, long time, and we thought maybe you’d wanna be nice and take care of us, huh?” Steve offered.

“Fuck you,” you hissed.

“That’s sort of the idea,” Bucky whispered playfully.

“Let me go,” you demanded as Steve’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared, anger finally coming out when he suddenly grabbed your chin and held your face to look up at him.

“Let me make one thing very fucking clear,” he explained, nearly whispering so you were forced to stay still and quiet to hear him. “You don’t get to pick what you want. But you get to pick if you’re gonna make this easy, or difficult.”

You spat in his face; he slapped you for that, so hard that your ears rang for a moment while he grimaced and wiped his face with his sleeve.

“Difficult it is,” he announced with ill-restrained loathing, coming even closer as Bucky covered your mouth again to muffle your screams of protest. “Buck, I’m goin’ first.”

“Fuck you, pal, I was in longer and I saw her first,” Bucky replied frustratedly. “I’m not gonna take long anyway, you can go after me.”

“I just got spit in my face!” Steve reminded him. “And the breakout was my idea!”

“Your idea?!” Bucky repeated incredulously. “What, you think you’re the first guy to think ‘hey, what if we just left prison?’ because trust me, if it wasn’t for my screwdriver—”

Their argument caused Bucky’s focus to slip, that must have been why the hand on your mouth loosened and you could speak again.

"You won't get away with this, my father's a sheriff!" you yelped, interrupting their negotiation.

They both laughed darkly and you instantly regretted saying it.

"Oh, sweetheart, your old man's a cop? That's too bad,” Steve sighed. “You know what they say: sins of the father…"

"Fuck the daughter,” Bucky finished with a cold, hollow laugh as he suddenly bit down on your ear making you wince and shudder, tears streaming down your cheeks already.

He tossed you down and pinned you to the ground, his strong, heavy body on top of yours knocking the wind out of you as he began to tear at your clothes and, annoyingly, not seeming to find them much trouble at all. You whimpered when you felt your pants torn down your legs, hating how exposed and vulnerable you felt, hating the undeniable fact that you couldn’t stop this.

You tried to get up when he reached down to open his belt and jeans, but Steve’s boot came down on your shoulder and held you still again. Bucky was rushed and brutal as he pushed his pants down and pressed his cock against your ass, guiding it between your legs as you hissed and tried not to think about what was about to happen.

He pulled back briefly to spit on your hole, spreading the forced wetness with the head of his cock before suddenly pushing into you as you gasped and choked on a sob.

"Oh, that's it baby,” he groaned, “scream if you want, nobody can hear you but us."

Already he was thrusting with wild abandon, his hips slapping into your ass as his hot breath came down against your ear and neck, his face pressing yours into the cold ground.

"Fuuuuuck,” he moaned lowly, “so tight, Jesus Christ… fuckin' missed this, went almost ten years without burying my cock in a wet little cunt like this. Shit, it's even better than I remember."

You just cried and bit down on nothing, pain making violent shivers run up your spine as the width of him split you open, pushing deeper than you’d known anything could go.

Each thrust seemed somehow rougher and deeper than the last, pushing you further past your limits, making your toes curl inside your boots. He was unabashedly using your body, treating you with less care than some men might a blow-up doll, moaning loudly as he split you open with every moment.

So why did it almost begin to feel good, now that the worst of the pain had faded? Why was the ridge of his cock brushing over your g-spot just right each time he moved?

He pinned more of his weight on you as he changed his angle slightly, enough to add just that much more brutality to every stroke, the loud slapping of skin echoing through the desolate trees. You could tell he wasn’t lying about how long he’d been celibate in prison, because he fucked you with every ounce of pent-up frustration, hissing through his teeth and holding you tight enough to bruise.

Everything he did, he did enough to bruise.

“Yeah, take it, bitch,” he moaned when you made a particularly pained noise.

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna take long,” Steve remembered, staring down at the two of you from where he was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.

“I’m almost done, you waited this long you can wait five more minutes,” Bucky dismissed, voice a little strained as he kept fucking you.

“Just stop and give me a turn and then you can get back to it,” Steve suggested.

“Nah, no fuckin’ way,” Bucky laughed, “feels way too good to stop. Trust me, Stevie, this pussy’s worth the wait.”

“Get her on her knees then,” Steve instructed as he came closer to you and kneeled in front of your face; Bucky manhandled your hips into place while Steve pulled your hair until you yelped and brought your head up. “I wanna fuck this pretty little throat.”

He cut off your protests with another hard slap to your cheek, tugging your hair again as you struggled to hold yourself up on shaking arms.

“Gonna teach this mouthy bitch a lesson,” he explained as he hit you again before using one hand to open his belt and jeans. “You know what’s gonna happen if you try to bite me, right? I’ll just knock you out and fuck your throat anyways. So you’d better make it good if you wanna breathe.”

You tried your best to nod with his fist tugging your hair, gasping slightly when he pulled his cock out and stroked it right in front of your face.

“Come on, baby, open up— this is the most you’ve kept your mouth shut all day,” he laughed, tapping the swollen head of his cock on your lips until you finally opened them. The flavor of his skin on your tongue made your lips curl in disgust but he held your jaw and pushed deeper, quickly hitting the back of your throat. “Fuck, so warm… come on, suck it, make it good for me.”

“She’s gettin’ wet,” Bucky informed Steve with a chuckle. “She likes it— don’t you, little whore?” he prompted as he slapped your ass suddenly, making you cry out around Steve’s length. “You like choking on a cock like you deserve?”

You made some sort of gurgling sound, and apparently they took it as a ‘yes.’

"Aw yeah, fuck, gonna fill up this little cunt,” Bucky promised. Funny thing is, you weren't sure if "this little cunt" meant your hole, or you.

“You’d better not, m’supposed to go after you,” Steve reminded him.

“Fuck, I dunno if I have the heart to pull out,” Bucky admitted with a laugh, slapping you on the ass to make your walls suddenly clench around him. “I know a sweet body like this just needs to be bred.”

Your sob was louder around where Steve’s girth stretched your lips, making Bucky laugh darkly.

"Oh shit honey, what would Daddy Sherriff say if he found out you got knocked up by a couple'a criminals, huh? By murderers?"

Steve pulled his cock out just enough to let you sob weakly before shoving back in and penetrating your throat.

"Yeah, you like it don't you?” Bucky continued to taunt you. “You like being bred by some strangers who caught you in the woods… dirty bitch."

Steve's head fell back as he started to thrust into your mouth faster and harder, the base of his cock flexing against your tongue. You assumed it was a sign that he was close and it made you hopeful that this would be over soon, but he suddenly pulled out with an exhausted laugh.

"Oh no you don't," he breathed, "not gonna come yet, still need to feel that tight little pussy of yours… if Bucky would hurry the fuck up."

"Fuck, I'm close, I'm close," Bucky rasped. "Shit, babydoll, this wet cunt is gonna make me come, aren't you so proud?"

Steve held your mouth open and rubbed his cock on your tongue, occasionally shoving two fingers in with it which were salty with his sweat.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck," Bucky hissed, "oh god, fuck, I'm—!"

He pulled out suddenly, rubbing his cock against your clit as his seed shot onto the ground beneath you. You sighed with relief although you hated the way your body was actually disappointed, craving more and clenching around nothing in protest.

Bucky was hardly even finished when Steve reached under your arms to pull you up and flip you onto your back, groaning as he settled between your legs and rubbed his cock over your folds. He didn't waste any time pushing into you, and apparently being fucked by Bucky wasn't enough to warm you up for Steve because you hissed at the sting as he filled you.

"Fuck," Steve mumbled as he grabbed your wrists and pinned them down beside your head. Already he had begun to pull back only to spear into you again, reaching deeper inside you than Bucky had until you were gasping and choking on nothing.

Bucky stood up and stepped back, pulling his jeans up as he watched you two on the ground.

"You got any cigarettes back at camp, sweetheart?" Bucky asked you, and it was hard to focus on his question but you shook your head. "Damn," he breathed, pondering for a moment before coming up with his next question. "You got any candy bars?"

"Do you mind?" Steve hissed, still thrusting into you— a bit slower than Bucky but not exactly more gentle. "We're kind of busy here."

"No, I don't particularly mind," Bucky smirked.

"Can't you just entertain yourself for a few minutes while I finish this?"

"Why should I entertain myself when I've got this pretty little thing to entertain me?" Bucky smirked, kneeling down beside you as Steve buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Wanna help me out here, dollface? I'm still hard…"

He freed one hand from Steve's grip and brought it up to the front of his jeans so you could feel the hard bulge there. He opened them for you, reaching in and pulling his hard cock out to wrap your hand around it.

Feeling the thickness of it in your palm now, you couldn't imagine how it ever fit inside you.

"Yeah, that's it, I'll teach you how to stroke it right…" he groaned. "You know how many times I had to do this to myself, just imagining claiming a little slut like you? Your hands are so much softer, sweetheart…"

His hand tightened around yours and guided every movement, which was good because you had no chance of focusing on anything while Steve was slamming into you and moaning right by your ear.

"So wet," he whispered to you, "so warm. All mine…"

You felt your insides grip him harder and he smiled, lips tickling your sensitive skin.

"Yeah, you like bein' mine. You like being owned, I can feel it. I can feel that this is exactly what you needed. Is that what you were hoping for when you came out to these woods all by yourself? That a big strong man would show up and stretch out this pussy? Well I'm here now, angel, and I'm just about ready to fill you up real good."

A few more thrusts, faster and harder than ever, were enough to send Steve over the edge as you felt each pulse warm you from the inside out. Steve groaned loudly and buried himself as deep as he could possibly go, painting his come right onto your cervix while you gasped at the sensation.

Bucky stopped moving your hand and looked down at Steve. "Are you fucking serious— did you just come inside?"

Steve took a moment to catch his breath before answering: "duh."

"How come you get to come inside but I don't, huh?"

"Cause I went second!"

"Yeah, that's some bullshit," Bucky scoffed.

"Will you just leave now, please?" you whimpered weakly from the ground. "You got what you wanted, now just go."

"Oh, sweetheart, we are nowhere near done with you," Steve promised, sighing as he pulled out of you slowly.

You wanted to try to get up, but your limbs were weak and numb, and your head heavy with confusion. It made it easy for Bucky to scoop you up and carry you back the way you'd run, your tent quickly coming into view which made you realize how pitifully short your chase had been.

“Looks big enough for the three of us,” Steve noted as he tilted his head to look at your camp.

“We’re not going in yet, I think somebody needs a little creek bath first,” Bucky smiled as he started to set you down on your shaky legs. “Go ahead and strip, doll.”

You shivered, considering resistance but deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble as you started to peel off your shirt and jacket, then your boots and slightly torn leggings.

They both smiled and watched you, Bucky snorted a little when he saw how hard your nipples were. “It’s chilly,” you defended meekly.

“Sure it is,” he nodded, “don’t stop, get in the water when you’re done.”

You nodded slightly as you tossed the clothes aside, trying to cover yourself with your arms as you slowly walked into the stony creek, wishing the water weren’t so clear so it would cover you better.

You made a weak attempt to clean yourself, watching goosebumps cover your skin from the cool water.

"Wash yourself up good,” Bucky instructed firmly. “I don't want any of Rogers' jizz still in you when I take that pussy again."

With a grimace, you washed between your legs and winced when your touch reawakened the sting of soreness there.

“You’re gonna have to push it out, honey, it’s real deep,” Steve grinned pridefully.

You did your best to clean up, not for Bucky’s benefit but for your own, because you hated how it felt to have Steve’s spend still within you.

“How am I supposed to dry off?” you asked nervously as you looked around, knowing you hadn’t brought a towel as you hadn’t really planned on a full creek bath during your trip. You hadn’t planned on any of this during your trip, shockingly enough.

“You can drip dry,” Steve suggested.

“So you want me to stand naked in the cold for an hour while I dry?” you realized, irritated but still scared.

“Something like that,” Bucky confirmed. “Unless you want us to keep you warm…”

“I’ll freeze,” you decided, stepping out of the water as Bucky snatched your clothes away to make sure you couldn’t dress. “Gimme those!”

“Come and get ‘em,” he challenged, leaving you to huff and cross your arms, teeth chattering as the wind picked up.

You couldn’t imagine why they cared so much about testing your will when they’d already proven that they could take you however they wanted. Perhaps it was just that they wanted to know you’d accepted that. Better yet, they probably hoped you would participate willingly if you understood that you never had a choice.

Closing your eyes didn’t help, you could still feel their hungry gaze on you; rubbing yourself with your hands didn’t help because it just spread the cold water around on your skin, rather than actually warming you up.

It was probably less than a minute but it felt like half an hour before you relented, walking up to Bucky and looking down to avoid his stare as you meekly requested, “can I have my clothes, please?”

“But I can think of so many better ways to keep you warm,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around you, Steve moving behind you to press his chest against your back. You sighed with relief because even this was already making you feel better, the warmth of their bodies taking out some of the chill while their size blocked you from the wind. You mewled, ever so quietly, when you felt Bucky’s lips on your neck, your eyes falling shut as your head fell back onto Steve’s chest.

They showered you in gentle touches and teasing kisses as they picked you up and carried you into your tent, the small space beginning to warm quickly with the heat of three people inside— or was it just you that was getting hot from what they were doing to you.

Steve was groping your tits and pinching your hardened nipples, while Bucky focused most on sucking your neck or biting just beneath your ear. It was overwhelming, and impossible to ignore though you wanted so desperately not to be aroused. There were only four hands exploring your body but it might as well have been a hundred because you couldn’t tell the difference, they were touching you everywhere all at once.

"Now, are you gonna behave or do we need to tie you up?" Steve asked quietly.

You shook your head wildly, tensing up just imagining that. "Then say it," he instructed.

"I-I'll be good," you promised weakly.

Bucky grinned and slid his hand up your thigh, and though you didn’t mean to, when Bucky reached between your legs you tried to shut them and squirm away, it was instinct.

"Ah ah ah," Steve tutted. "You said you'd be good."

"Think we oughta tie her up," Bucky nodded, feigning disappointment.

"No, please, I'm sorry—"

"Too late for sorry, dollface," Bucky smirked, grabbing a shirt from your pack and tearing it into strips like it was no effort at all.

Steve held your wrists together for Bucky to tie, and they even tied your legs up bent and spread wide, finishing it off with a gag in your mouth.

Now you were helpless to Bucky pinching your clit, circling it with his thick and calloused finger, applying pressure to it until your eyes watered. At first it was exploratory, delicate, but once he’d found the most sensitive places he began to rub your clit hard and fast, laughing every time you moaned and flicking the sensitive bud to make your body jolt.

"Yeah, this little cunt's getting all wet, y'like having your pussy played with?" he smirked.

He accentuated his question with a few sudden spanks to your clit that made you jerk and yelp. The worst thing was that each slap made a wet sound that made you sure you were soaking by now.

“I know you want it so bad, don’t worry doll, I’m not gonna make you wait anymore…”

He caged you in and opened his jeans one more time, the process going much more quickly since he didn’t have to hold you down— you could squirm and cry, but that was about it.

With a little grunt, he pushed into you, and with how wet you were it actually went it much more easily. It was by no means painless though, especially since he was already moving and giving you no time to adjust.

"Yeah, that's better," he sighed, grinning as he watched you whine into the gag. "Now I can really take my time with you, show you how good I can make you feel."

He was certainly more relaxed than the first time, his pace measured and calculated as he made sure his hips met with yours fully at the end of each stroke. His width wasn’t as challenging in this position but his length certainly was, bumping into your sore and delicate cervix until you were forced to bite down onto the gag to cope.

But, in spite of the pain, or perhaps because of it, something deep and strong was forming inside you, tightening and twisting until it took all your effort not to let it spill forth.

He reached down and roughly rubbed your clit again, forcing a muffled scream from your throat as he grinned down at you. “Close already, huh? Good to know I haven’t lost my touch after all these years.”

You almost heard Steve scoff beside you, but it was hard to hear anything when your ears felt like they were full of cotton, only your own echoing heartbeat ringing louder than anything else.

"Yeah, I wanna feel you fuckin' come,” Bucky growled. “Bet you get even tighter every time."

As much as you wished not to, you fell over the edge, back arching until your chest bumped into Bucky’s where he hovered above you. He coaxed you along in his words and movements, your walls clenching in a nonsensical rhythm. More than anything you just wished he would stop moving so you could catch your breath, but his pace never faltered and it felt like you’d never stop coming if he never stopped fucking you.

“That’s it, good fucking girl,” he groaned, “makin’ you feel so good, aren’t I? Answer me.”

You hesitated, and sniffled, but finally nodded.

Even worse, your clit was so swollen now that he didn’t even need to rub it with his thumb anymore; his cock rubbed against it with each movement, the ridges of his shaft massaging you there until it felt like every part of your body had become the most sensitive place possible. You shook violently beneath him, each wave of pleasure stronger than the last until you felt like you had lost all sense of time, and space, and really anything that wasn’t being fucked in this tent like the fate of the world depended on it.

"Get outta the tent, Steve,” Bucky instructed suddenly.

"Why?" Steve protested with a scoff.

"I can't come with you starin' at me!"

"I'm not looking at you, dumbass,” he sneered, “I'm lookin’ at her. So pretty when she cries…"

"Whatever, either way, just go outside please?"

Clearly irritated but relenting anyways, Steve grunted under his breath as he got up, stepping unceremoniously over both of you. Bucky sighed with relief when Steve zipped the tent flap shut behind him, turning his attention back to you. “That’s better, isn’t it? Just me and you… way it oughta be.”

“I heard that!” Steve called from outside.

“Then stop listening!” Bucky suggested through his teeth before leaning down to whisper in your ear, holding your hips tight so he could fuck you harder than ever. "I don't give a fuck what he says, I'm coming in you this time. Not pulling out until I know every drop is in you, wanna see this pussy stuffed to the brim with my come… you want it too, huh?”

Another electrifying pulse inside you made your channel flutter around him, and how cruel that the moan he made actually turned you on more.

"Fuck, that's it, squeeze my fuckin' dick, honey. Wanna milk all the come outta my cock, don't you?"

You nodded again, hearing him moan in that perfect way one more time before you started to feel him pulse and swell within you, streams of hot come pouring into you. The amount was pretty impressive since he’d already come once, although you didn’t exactly feel ‘impressed,’ so much as horrified and confused. And numb, from coming so many times.

Bucky smiled down at you with an exhausted sigh, smacking you lightly on the face a few times to try to rouse you from your blissed-out state, but all you could do was hum sleepily into the gag.

“M’gonna untie you now, you’re too out of it to try anything,” he explained, releasing the gag first before working on your wrists and your legs. A rush of warm come oozed out of your abused hole when he pulled back, making your face heat up as he smiled and held your legs up to see it better. “Yeah, filled you up real nice,” he informed you. He gave a reassuring pat to your thigh before getting up and getting out of the tent, leaving you to stare blankly into nothingness for a while.

Eventually, you knew you had to face the world again, though you were more sure than ever that you weren’t prepared for it. Grabbing a blanket from the floor of the tent and covering yourself with it, you took a slow breath to try to stabilize yourself.

For how slow time seemed to have passed so far, you were surprised to see the sun setting when you opened the tent flap and stepped outside. You realized, with a sick feeling in your chest, that they had been using you nearly all day now. And considering they were waiting for you around the fire, giving you a glance up and down as you emerged from the tent, they still might not stop for a while.

In fact, they’d made themselves very comfortable from the looks of it. The fire was burning stronger than ever, three logs positioned around the sides of the firepit to sit on; a pot was over the fire, and you recognized the contents as some of the food supplies from your pack. Best of all, Steve had found your battery radio and adjusted the station, blues quietly playing from the speaker as he used your hunting knife to whittle a stick.

Serves you right to suffer, the smooth voice crooned from the broadcast, serves you right to be alone...

For a moment, the three of you sat in silence as you took in the scene. But when the wind changed and the heat of the fire no longer reached you, you remembered you had business to attend to.

“C-Can I have my clothes back now?” you asked Bucky quietly, seeing them draped over the side of one of the logs.

“I think if you get dressed you’ll try to run again,” Steve mumbled, not even looking up at you.

“No, I won’t, I’m too tired,” you explained. “I just don’t want to be cold.”

“Fire’s hot enough,” Bucky dismissed. “Why don’t you just lay down a while, hm? Get some rest. You earned it.”

You weren’t just tired physically, but mentally, which is partly why you didn’t put up more of a fight before going over to the log and laying beside it, the blanket around you protecting you from the cold ground while you used your clothes as a sort of pillow on the log.

It couldn’t have been that you were asleep, because you could still hear the fire and the radio and Steve’s whittling (a constant reminder that he had a knife), but with your eyes closed and the darkness getting darker it was almost like sleep. A draining, restless sleep that did nothing to shelter you from the memories of what you’d become.

So, you opened your eyes, staring into the flames instead and venturing the occasional glance at Bucky or Steve; the former always met your stare, the latter would only look up if a sound got his attention.

“You gonna take a turn?” Bucky asked Steve casually, motioning to you by cocking his head.

“Not yet, need a while to... you know, build up some energy,” Steve explained.

“Mind if I have another go then?”

“She’s all yours,” Steve approved, making Bucky grin as he got up and circled the log you were slumped over.

“Y’hear that, dollface? All mine,” he cooed, picking you up and adjusting you until you were bent over the log, facing Steve and the fire. Your clothes kept your naked torso from rubbing against the bark, thankfully, but nothing could spare you from Bucky’s incessant touch, running up your back, over your butt which he spanked a few times for good measure, and finally to your entrance which he pushed two fingers into first. “Mm, we stretched you out pretty good… you’ll be back in shape by the mornin’, but until then, I just slide right in…”

And he proved himself right with one long stroke that pushed his cock to the deepest parts of you, pushing your hips forward into the log as you tried your best to keep your breathing steady.

He was uniquely quiet this time, still moaning and grunting occasionally but otherwise sparing you from the constant taunts and filthy whispers. Steve, meanwhile, was doing his best to look unaffected, but the subtle adjustment of his legs along with the increased vigor of his carving made it clear he was distracted by the sight in front of him.

Bucky’s strong hands on your hips were sure to leave marks, fingertips digging into your curves and pulling you back onto him, spearing you on his length.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he sighed, “gonna come.”

And it was actually a relief because this was going to end (for now), which was definitely the only reason you moaned in response. He got more talkative after that, smacking you on the ass a few more times as he chuckled darkly behind you.

“Fuck, take it, doll… take all my fuckin’ come.”

It was sort of a meaningless instruction, since you had to, but he seemed to enjoy reminding you that he was about to take his pleasure from your body one more time. He made a weak little moaning noise, almost pained, as he filled you once again, slumping down on top of you and for the first time really showing signs of exhaustion after coming three times in a day. You were so out of it that you hardly noticed his weight on you, or the little kisses he gave to your ear, whispering praises that tried your best not to hear.

He pulled out and came back around to look at your face again, pulling you up slightly by your hair so you looked up at him.

“Such a good fuckin’ girl,” he groaned. “Open your mouth sweetheart,” he instructed, spitting onto your tongue as soon as you’d done it, then lifting your jaw to make you close your mouth and swallow.

He tugged your hair harder before he kissed you, more possessive than affectionate, but unexpected regardless. His tongue tangled with yours as he reached down to circle his hand around your neck, feeling your pulse but not going so far as to choke you.

A little groan from Steve caught both his attention and yours. "You wanna fuck her, Stevie?"

"Oh god, I want that ass, I want that fuckin ass," he answered through his teeth, making you gulp as Bucky laughed.

"Go for it, man," he encouraged, and only a second after he stood up you both heard and felt Steve appear behind you, one calloused hand spreading your cheeks; you whimpered from embarrassment when you felt a finger circle your tight rim, before slowly pushing in.

"Fuck," you whispered, and it sounded much more like a curse of pleasure than you intended.

"Yeah, you want it don't you?" he asked through his teeth, giving you a hard spank that made you cry out. Bucky slapped you when you didn't answer, grabbing your jaw roughly.

"He asked you a question," he reminded you firmly, the sound of Steve spitting into his hand and coating your hole and his length distracting you slightly.

"Yes, yes, I want it!" you sobbed.

"Where?"

"In my ass!"

Your body put up significant resistance against his swollen head, but it was no match for his rough thrust forward, the tip of him popping inside and stretching you painfully. You bit your lip but it was impossible to stay quiet when he slid the rest of the way in.

You cried out as he moaned with satisfaction, already moving so much faster than you could handle (which, to be fair, was a low bar).

"Oh my god," he breathed. "So fuckin' tight…"

The pain was sharp, and it felt like the base of his cock was impossibly thicker than the rest of him since you whined every time he pushed in.

"Aw, does it hurt baby? That's my cock ruining your little hole, sweetheart…"

"Stop," you rasped, "please… please stop…"

"Nah, I think you like it… I think what you really needed was just to be put in your place, fucked in every hole so you know exactly what you're meant for."

Bucky appeared in front of you again, stroking himself in front of your face, still slick from behind inside you.

"See what a mess you made on my cock, dollface? I think you need to help me clean it up," he groaned, holding your jaw open to stuff his cock into your mouth and stifle your sobs. The taste of your and his come was potent and musky on your tongue, his head pushing right into your open throat when you tried to gag.

Steve held you tighter as he thrusted a bit more vigorously, Bucky simultaneously using your throat as he stroked your hair and cheek.

You couldn’t remember how to do anything but just take it now. At times their paces synchronized and you felt like you were being filled to the brim at both ends. Other times they were in a syncopation where one pushed in just as the other pulled out, meaning you had no real breaks at all.

Bucky was too weak to come again, that much was obvious, but he was happy to choke you anyways; and Steve, well, Steve was moaning more now than he had from your mouth or pussy, apparently trying to hold himself back even though he had no reason to try to prolong this— unless he actually wanted to see you in pain more than he wanted to finish?

“You want me to come in your ass?” Steve interrogated you with a spank to your thigh. “Beg for it.”

You shook your head around the length in your mouth.

“It doesn’t stop until you beg me for it, isn’t that what you want? You want it to stop, right?”

Had you really fallen into his trap that easily?

Bucky pulled back to give you the opportunity to meet Steve’s request, and you sucked in a lungful of air before finally whimpering: “Please, Steve… please come…”

“Where?” he pressed, ever-determined to make you remind him where he was fucking you.

“Please come in my ass…”

“If you say so, sweetheart,” he snickered before starting to thrust faster and more erratically, chasing his peak which you prayed was close. It was, thankfully, though never close enough, and you forgot that the swell of his pulsating cock would stretch your tired hole even wider.

And, you forgot that he had no reason to pull out just because he’d come.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “that was good.”

You tried to kick him away but it was impossible with how hard he’d pinned you down to the log.

“Just stay still and keep my cock warm in this pretty ass of yours, alright?” he instructed, all the while Bucky stared down at you with a satisfied smirk on his face, combing your hair a bit with his fingers.

“You’re tired, huh?” he noticed. “We’ll get you to bed soon.”

“Will you leave?” you instantly returned.

“We need somewhere to make camp for the night, too. And since there’s already a perfectly good camp right here…”

“No,” you whined, “no, you’re never gonna leave me alone, are you?”

“We’ll talk about it in the morning, alright?” he offered.

It was truly a testament to how physically exhausted you were that you managed to fall asleep squished between your two personal monsters.

Bucky was behind you, essentially spooning you while Steve had an arm draped over your chest. And even with the heavy weight on you, physical and metaphysical, you would’ve slept through the night easily if it weren’t for the feeling of Steve running his hands over your body, groping you wherever he could reach.

You opened your eyes but it was still pitch darkness, giving you no distraction from the physical sensations of Steve's fingers delicately grazing over your skin. Behind you, the quiet stability of Bucky’s breathing made it clear he was still asleep and unaware.

“Steve,” you whispered hoarsely.

“Shh,” he soothed below his breath, right by your ear. “He sleeps like a rock, we’re not gonna wake him up with a little fooling around.”

Amazingly enough, that wasn’t exactly what you were worried about. But you discontinued your dissent as he lightly suckled the lobe of your ear, fingers tracing abstract shapes over your hip. You heard your own breath catch, and he must have too because he smiled and nibbled on your neck.

You shivered when he started to pull you closer, laying you back to reach between your legs and toy with your overly-sensitive folds. His fingers found your clit and rubbed it in slow circles, making you writhe and jolt as shocks of pleasure shot through you.

“So sensitive,” he praised darkly, pushing against you harder. “Gettin’ wet, honey? Want you dripping before I put my cock in you.”

Bucky stirred beside you, pulling you closer in his sleep though Steve kept a strong hold on your lower half. It was nearly claustrophobic being sandwiched between them like this, made even worse when Steve adjusted your hips and you felt his cock rub against you.

“Tell me you want it,” he whispered in your ear, cradling your face in his large, rough hands.

“I— I want it,” you whispered back, biting your lip to stay quiet when he pushed in. You were still sore, but the wetness helped ease his way as he filled you to the brim, groaning softly and thrusting much more gently than you expected. It was all very relaxed, and languid, and… sleepy. It was so much easier to pretend that you wanted this when it was gentle and patient like this, when you couldn’t see his face

“You two got started without me?” Bucky interjected, making you both gasp.

"You seemed pretty busy snoring over there," Steve explained with an unamused tone. “You know, Barnes, I actually broke out of prison so I wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room as you for the rest of my life.”

“Leave if you want, Rogers, I’ll keep the girl and you can take her battery radio, ya limpdick.”

“Limpdick? Were you not here for the past twenty-four hours?”

“Yeah, I was fucking this sweet little thing while you were out there by the fire doing your arts and crafts.”

And just like that, your sweet and gentle sex was gone; Steve was determined to claim you now, fucking you harder and faster until you couldn’t hold back your broken moans. "Yeah, you like that?" he growled against your ear. "You like gettin' fucked? Say it."

"Y-yes, I like it," you gasped.

"We're gonna be on the run for a while…" Bucky mumbled against your skin as he kissed your shoulder, "sure wouldn't mind takin' you with us, keeping our own little pet to fuck whenever we want."

You tried not to stop breathing entirely when he said that, distracted by Steve slowing down slightly, offering some reprieve.

"Been so long without touchin' a woman," Steve added huskily, "I don't know if one day is enough."

"Yeah, plus we've already got you obedient, trained, fucked braindead and full of come," Bucky replied, biting down on your skin to make you whimper and he chuckled happily.

"Are you sure you can share, Barnes?" Steve pressed. "I know if you had it your way she'd be ripped to shreds by now."

"Whatever man, you're the one who tore her ass up."

Steve scoffed slightly, while Bucky continued.

"You wanna come with us sweetheart? We'll be real good to you, keep your holes wet and full for a couple months straight at least. You won't have to worry about a thing, won't have to lift a finger, just keep your legs spread and you'll be peachy."

"Hey, that's what we'll call you: Peach," Steve decided. "It's perfect, isn't it? 'Cause you're sweet… and soft… and I could just eat you up," he purred.

"Wanna be our girl, Peach?" Bucky prompted.

"No, please…"

You expected anger, you expected them to hurt you, but you didn't expect them to laugh. "Looks like our sweet little Peach hasn't had a chance to realize how good it's gonna be with us," Steve announced.

"Yeah, let's show her how much she wants to be our girl," Bucky snickered, holding your hips as Steve started to move inside you again.

Bucky, meanwhile, was grabbing handfuls of your ass and groaning as he rubbed his cock against you. One finger explored your rim and slowly pushed in.

"Looks like you're still a little loosened up from when Stevie here gave it to you, huh? He was real mean, wasn't he?"

You nodded, clutching harder into Steve's chest as he fucked you faster.

"Then taking me should be a breeze."

Truly, you had no idea how this was possible. I'm the dark it all felt like a fever dream, but when Bucky pushed into your available opening while Steve was still fucking you… it was definitely real, the feeling was too overwhelming not to be.

'A breeze' was definitely an exaggeration but it was undeniably easier, especially since being half-asleep made your body so much more relaxed. You still hissed when Bucky's hips met your ass, you still choked on a breath at the feeling of two cocks buried all the way inside you, but it wasn't from pain as much as being full beyond your wildest dreams

"You were right about this ass, Rogers, goddamn…" Bucky moaned, holding your hips tight and beginning to thrust.

"Fuck, can hardly believe you're takin' both of us," Steve sighed against your ear. "I know you love it, Peach, I know you love bein' so full…"

Your lips fumbled with the desire to moan a name but not sure whose to say; so instead you just babbled mindlessly, sounded just as dumbfounded as you felt.

But they weren't having any problems speaking, in fact they were more talkative than ever, each whispering in a different ear and making shivers crawl up your spine with every word.

"You're making us feel so good, such a good girl, aren't you Peachy baby?"

"Such a perfect fucking whore, so wet already just from being used."

"Want us to come inside, huh Peach? Wanna be full of come?”

Each time you arched your back, it only somehow pushed them both deeper, so deep you couldn’t think about anything else anymore. Bucky was moving at a much slower pace than Steve, such that they would only occasionally thrust all the way in at exactly the same time— and when they did, you heard yourself moan but refused to believe it was you making the sound because it sounded nothing like you, it didn’t even seem like something you would do; enjoying this that much, that is.

“You’re close, huh? Gonna come for both of us?”

You found yourself nodding, even though they couldn’t see it, but Bucky must have felt it against his shoulder because he laughed a little, grabbing your face and turning you back to kiss you hungrily. When he moved his kiss down to the back of your neck, Steve captured your lips instead, less dominating than Bucky’s but no less intense. The moan that undeniably signalled your orgasm was nearly lost against Steve’s tongue, but they both heard it and began to pump into you faster, keeping you suspended in your pleasure.

Steve lost it first, spilling into you with a choked groan and a tight grip on your arms that was sure to bruise. Bucky was close behind, panting with each hurried thrust until he finally moaned and filled your ass with ropes of hot come, a sensation you never could’ve imagined, let alone predicted you would experience twice in one day.

Bucky rubbed your thighs while he caught his breath while Steve peppered your face in tender kisses, both of them showering you in affection you had no idea how to handle.

“Whaddaya say, dollface?” Bucky prompted as he kissed just beneath your ear. “Y’like bein’ our little Peach, don’t you?”

You stammered over a few different responses, none of them very good, until Steve finally instructed you: “say yes.”

“Yes,” you repeated instantly.

“I can tell you do, you soaked my cock real good,” Steve praised with a grin you could feel against your cheek and hear in his gravelly voice. “We’ll head out in the morning, alright? Soon we’ll be somewhere where nobody knows who we are, what we’ve done… doesn’t that sound nice, Peach? A chance to start over?”

A fresh start never hurt anyone, right?

Months on the run made the night all blend together, you didn’t even know what state you were in anymore and you couldn’t find the energy to care.

It was definitely harder to hitchhike with three people, and a disturbing amount of truckers offered to take you alone but not your companions— and obviously they would never allow such a thing. At this point, you were better off with the devils you knew, anyways. At least with them you knew what to expect.

Specifically, you could expect Steve to be aloof and brooding until he occasionally snapped and became possessive over you again, asserting his dominance over you and Bucky however he could manage— usually by covering your body in his marks and every once in a while by covering your face with his come. You could expect Bucky to taunt and mock you, cornering you into consenting to his relentless barrage of pleasure and pain, over and over again watching you struggle to maintain your sense of denial and disgust, reminding you that you loved being fucked just how he wanted.

In fact, today was a pretty typical day while the three of you crashed in a motel, Steve staying silent and distant while Bucky kissed his way down your stomach that rose and fell shakily with each breath.

“Bucky, p-please,” you whispered, closing your eyes so you could more easily pretend it wasn’t you begging him for more.

"What's that, Peach? Want me to lick up your juice?" he grinned.

You shuddered and he chuckled as he knelt down between your legs to give a long, slow lick over your sex. Your entire body jolted when his rough tongue slid over your swollen clit, so he focused there until your legs were quivering and your head fell back.

"Mm, so sweet…” he cooed. “Come getta taste a’this, Steve.”

“I’m busy,” Steve refused, turning the page of his newspaper.

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Bucky sighed, standing up straighter and leaving your pussy ignored; you whined a little, but it fell on deaf ears. “I’d love to see what you’re reading that could possibly be more interesting than this.”

“There’s an article about us,” Steve answered sternly, looking up from the paper to meet Bucky’s gaze, before glancing to look at you. “All three of us.”

Bucky huffed and stood up, leaving you naked on the bed as he crossed the room to tear the paper from Steve’s hands. His eyes scanned the page until he landed on the part Steve must have been referring to. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “Look, Peach, you made the papers!”

He brought over the article for you to read, and you sat up straighter when you saw that a photo of yourself had been included alongside the mugshots of Steve and Bucky.

Two escaped prisoners, one missing woman, spotted in woods near Schenectady, NY...

“When is this from?” you asked nervously.

“The paper’s from today, but we were in Schenectady two weeks ago,” Steve explained. “They aren’t anywhere near us.”

It brought back memories of TV broadcasts you’d seen in hotels, radio news Steve had turned off before you heard too much. Phrases like ‘statewide manhunt,’ ‘federal investigation,’ and ‘trafficked woman,’ which had once been foreign to you, now represented your deepest anxieties.

Bucky saw the fear on your face and knelt down on the bed beside you, stroking your face gently. “Aw, Peach, don’t be scared… they’re not gonna find us, I promise.”

“If they did… what would happen to me?” you asked weakly. You truly had no idea if you’d be returned home and treated as the victim of a crime, or if you’d be arrested and charged as a perpetrator, as a collaborator who aided in the escape and continued flee of two violent criminals. They’d already gotten you in on a few robberies, even one bank— could you defend yourself by saying that you were forced to do it?

“Nobody’s gonna take you away from us,” Bucky assured sternly, not quite answering your question but making it clear that was all you were gonna get. You reached up to rest your hand atop his where it held your cheek, letting your watery eyes fall shut before you looked back up into his enrapturing gaze again.

“Kiss me, Bucky, please,” you whispered, making him laugh and shake his head.

“No, Peachy, I would but I know where that mouth has been. Steve woke you up in the middle of the night to choke on his cock, thought I wouldn’t hear, huh?”

You gasped a little and Steve crossed his arms where he sat in the chair. Bucky turned his attention back to Steve with a look of challenge on his face. “She’s scared, Stevie, won’t you come over here and make her feel better?”

Steve sighed but relented and stood up, crossing the room to stand beside the bed and stare down at you. For a moment you didn’t know what he intended to do, until he knelt down and grabbed your hips, pulled your spread legs closer to the edge of the bed where he latched his lips onto your slick and swollen folds.

“Oh god,” you moaned, reaching down to tangle your fingers into his hair, his tongue pushing inside you right away, twisting and thrusting and licking right over your g-spot until your eyes rolled back in your head and your back arched up off the faded quilt. Bucky grinned as he watched you, leaning down to kiss your neck, then suckle on a hardened nipple, then lick over your hips until finally he bit down on the inside of your thigh. You yelped a little and felt him smile against your delicate skin.

“I told you we’d take care of you, babydoll,” he mumbled, voice all deep and throaty like it got when he was about to spend an hour reminding you who you belonged to.

Sometimes you dreamed of the life you had before this, of the person you were when you only belonged to yourself, but that life was gone forever and it wasn’t coming back. Each day you mourned it in a different way. At first it was just the loss of dignity, then it was the loss at any chance of gaining that dignity back. You missed your friends and family, but you realized they wouldn’t welcome you back with open arms after this long.

You realized it was well and truly over the first time a man on the news called you an accomplice to the ‘rampant crime spree’ of Bucky and Steve. Just a few weeks later, the stories changed from two prisoners and their kidnapping victim, to three prisoners. And yes, you were a prisoner, but the police didn’t see a difference between you and them anymore. You had no reason to run, no motive for escape. They were the only thing keeping you alive and free now, even if this freedom wasn’t exactly overflowing with liberties.

So, you accepted as quickly as you could that this was your new life; every morning you banished the memories of who you used to be, and every night you prayed that your lovers wouldn’t be caught. And it wasn’t so bad of a life to have, even if it wasn’t the life you would’ve chosen for yourself— there was something nice about it, really, never very calm but still having its moments of peace and domesticity. Like falling asleep in the backseat of a stolen truck while Steve played blues on the radio. Like sitting in Bucky’s lap as he told you all about the beautiful tropical islands they’d take you to someday. Like when Steve robbed a jewelry store and told you he’d picked that one because they had the ring he’d seen in a magazine ad, the ring he decided he wanted you to wear from now on. Like being Mrs. Barnes when Bucky introduced you to his criminal connections, and being Mrs. Rogers when Steve did the same the next night.

Maybe you’d forgotten how to be anything else but their sweet, quiet, obedient Peach, but maybe it wasn’t such a bad wrap after all.

#dark!stucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!stucky noncon #dark!stucky smut #dark!stucky au

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