#now time to use my powers for evil >:)

[girderednerve]

i am not going to parody myself by posting yet another song from the smithsonian folkways' classic labor songs collection but i did burst into tears when "we just come to work here, we don't come to die" came on in the car while i was driving to work. the occupational safety and health act was passed fifty-five years ago last week. countless workers died to get that legislation passed, and it was, i cannot emphasize this enough, a weak liberal compromise from the outset! it was inadequate! OSHA has never been equal to its stated purpose of protecting workers from occupational hazards, it is not radical, its existence was always a placatory measure in place of real worker power on jobsites! we knew that then & labor power has declined so much that i'm sitting here like, mourning an agency which was designed to undercut unions, which is no disrespect to any individual person who worked there, many of whom did vital work with great care, or at the national institute for occupational safety & health, which has recently been liquidated, functionally ending black lung surveillance programs & removing part 90 coverage [rule that allows workers with early signs of black lung to be moved to less-dusty jobs without penalty, prolonging their lives in the face of incurable disease]. all of these measures were always insufficient to begin with! but now there's not even an effort to pretend that the government should protect the people from whom it draws its authority, because they are just straight up shamelessly KILLING FOLKS AT WORK AGAIN. on top of the baldfaced murder being done in the name of law enforcement. and we're all just supposed to pay our fucking taxes and stuff, jesus wept

[xavalav]

explodes forever and ever as i think abt dnd session from tonight. we beefed it so hard and now my freak is having a mental breakdown.

[itspileofgoodthings]

before I started teaching I was neutral-to-positive when people would say things to me like “you should start a podcast or run a Serious Writing Blog” and now if you catch me doing either of those things I want you to take me out back and shoot me

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy time....

[ybdoesart]

after spending several hours pouring over an hour long blender tutorial i have finally come out with something nice! thank u to joey carlino (link under cut to the vid)

[harvestmoth]

what do we think about pet store workers team xen

[ranger-danger]

Still do not get why people hate on rangers so much. Especially when they don’t even know what they’re talking about and only watched a 3 minute video about how “rangers bad because they’re not rogues” like no fucking shit they’re not rogues THEYRE DIFFERENT CLASSES FOR A REASON. Are you going to sit there complaining about how sorcerers aren’t wizards or warlocks? Or how paladins aren’t fighters?

[zeawesomebirdie]

Heads up I'm going to be so annoying once I learn how to play guitar

[starbuck]

trying to analyze my past interests earnestly and meet myself where i was at rather than dismissing them as “cringe” and hating myself for it is, i am finding, a lot more productive.

[lauronk]

see, i’m doing y’all a favor when i make you cry 😈

Fanfic writers be like: goddamnit, this idea is so fucking sad it’s making me cry just thinking about it. Let me write it down so I can inflict it on others.

[cream-and-tea]

today i have been considering how in pre-bookone times nina was always persistently and firmly against pallas’s private lessons with the director like would not shut up about how much she didn’t like it and looking back pallas assumes she was worried about their safety ala fiver but in fact it was because she was utterly sickeningly jealous that pallas was singled out to be teachers specialist little weapon and not her when she literally had a will of iron and a curious nimble mind and was reading at college level and was practically on her hands and knees begging to have knowledge she was not prepared to handle beamed directly into her brain at light speed. the whole thing was maddening for her!!!!!

[snekdood]

can we talk about what seems to be a concerted effort by a lot of leftists in my life, conscious or not, to prevent me from having love, literally the only thing I want and need and have wanted and needed ever since I was a child, literally the only thing that would "fix" me in a way to actually be helpful to society and how im apparently not supposed to think ppl doing this are just fucking evil

[scamallach-1]

“What God Expects From Us” The Prophet’s Pulpit: Commentaries on the State of Islam Vol iii

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[rexhya]

yandere!prince who's 3 months way from becoming king, the citizens and palace have already begun preparing for his coronation.

yandere!prince whos more terrifying than his father, nobles bow before him like GOD, his dark violet eyes gleaming with power.

yandere!prince who's favorite word is obedience, so it's no surprise when you're accepted as his personal maid he revels in your compliance.

"[Name], stand. Now." You're in his chambers holding a bowl of grapes. (he insists you feed him)

you stand.

"spin." you spin.

"lift up your skirt." you blush, giving him an almost disgraced face. as his personal maid, you were treated better but he'd never been perverted. you should have known better.

you move to set the bowl of grapes down anyways, you'd rather be humiliated for a moment then disobey and be forced to the torture many servants were subjected to. it wouldn't be so bad anyways, you had a petticoat under and would only lift the first layer.

the prince moved before you could, a pleasant smile taking up his brown cheeks, "God you really are perfect. I was joking, m'lady." he layed back down on his red velvet couch, motioning with his hands for you to continue feeding him.

now you were even more confused, the prince nicknamed "iron of evil" was making a joke? (and what was m'lady about, you were quite literally a commoner) you set the ruffles back down and continue pricking the grapes from the vine and into his mouth, this was probably your least favorite task he requested you do.

not because it was hard but because the prince was completely different from how he presented himself to the public.

moaning and whimpering exaggeratedly as you fed him the fruit, the worst is when he licks at your fingers, even taking one into his mouth, pearly whiteness flicking around the digit.

he always seemed to be smiling around you, it was worse knowing how horrible he could be to others.

like that time a noble staying temporarily was caught trying to poison him, usually their sentence to death would be immediate no questions asked but this prince loved to play games.

it was in the throne room, two gaurds stood by the captive and the prince stood in front of him ( you standing silently by his side praying they wouldn't behead him in front of you ) .

and after staring at the man for almost ten minutes without saying a word, he turned to you.

"pick a number between 1 and 1,000"

you jumped, eyes flickering between the man and the prince, "don't look at him, look at me. number quickly." he graps your jaw within seconds. you gasp, there was no arguing with the prince.

you stared directly into his eyes, sputtering out a number, "o-one"

"hmm." his grip doesn't falter, instead he turns your face side to side peering at all your features. "would you look at this, you actually have a desireable face."

you didn't know wether to take it as a compliment or an insult.

he finally lets go, "okay, have him drawn in quarterd. i want him out of my sight."

you gulped, guilt shredding at your heart as the man screamed. now you felt responsible for his punishment, though you suspect he would have done anything he liked anyways.

as usual.

the prince kisses your palm bringing you back to the present, he's been like this lately too. becoming affectionate in private spaces ( and in public spaces ), insisting you dote on him, care for him and play good girl all while you face the consequences ( many people think you're secretly sleeping with him, though hes met his suitor many times )

"what are you thinking of, tell me your thoughts love."

you gulped, "well honestly my prince i was thinking this is highly inappropriate and that your should stop so that the both of us will avoid trouble, and also—"

the prince stops kissing you, darkened eyes glaring at you viciously. "[Name]" he said suddenly.

you gulp, regretting your decision to speak up immediately.

"you're perfect, okay? i need you to continue being perfect so that everyone here stays happy alright?" you nod. "and i told you to stop calling me that."

"i-i apologize my-sorry um, Anul."

Anul grins and shifts his body to sit upwards, "good, now come here." he motions to his lap and you sigh, as of the past few weeks this was common as well. he pats his thigh impatiently and you smooth down your skirt to move towards him. his arms are around you before you can even make it on him, his nose grazing your neck, "mm, perfect, all mine, so perfect."

you sigh again and fold your hands over your lap, you wouldn't deny this prince was comfortable to sit on but it was not only highly unprofessional but horribly nerve racking.

you were just glad nobody was in here to see it.

and just then a knock came from the door. you scramble to move but Anul hold on fast, "come in." his voice was like murky water compared to how he was speaking to you before.

another servant maid opens the door, looking at your turned down face for a moment before adressing her reason for being here. "uhm, [Name] has been requested in the chambers by Ms. Jalei just for a quick meeting." Ms. Jalei was the head of all thr maids in the palace.

Anul looks bored at her. "She's busy." and quickly turns back to you, but the maid hasnt left yet.

she clears her throat again, "it's umh, it's urgent." she say looking at you and the man, his arms tighten around your waist. "[Name]? what should i do? seems likes there another pest trying to disturb our peace. number, 1-1,000" the maid freezes up, even she knew was this meant.

your eyes went wide as you looked at him, god not this again. "I-I don't want her to get hurt."

"Oh how sweet. Don't worry she won't feel a thing." Anul smiles devilishly. The maid looks ready to cry.

You turned between them, you hears what happened with the other guy, you didn't know who this was but you certianly didn't want her to get hurt, not because she f you anyways.

"w-what can i do? to fix it, i don't think she deserves such a punishment. it's me there asking for anyways, so what should i do?" you pleaded.

that caught his attention, "What you can do...?" He thought for a moment, "You. Get out."

The door was such in seconds.

"ya' know ever since i've met you [Name] i've just been so much better, i'd really love it if you gave me a kiss. I think i deserve it dont you?"

you gulped, you saw something like this coming, you were prepared. you gave a small okay and Anul shifted so you were sitting on his crotch rather than his lap. "okay here i go." and placed the tiniest contact on his lips he almost missed it.

he blinked, "what was that."

"well, i just kisses you my prince. as you requested."

"that wasn't a kiss."

"well—" you don't get a chance to answer as he cups your mouth with his, your tounge sliding on the roof of his mouth, by the time he's finished you can barely breath. his hands had someway crawled themselves onto your side and he found himself craving you, needing you carnally and more than ever. he lets go.

"that was a kiss, and don't make me teach you again."

[2rats1gogh]

FUCK PEOPLE WHO VOTED TRUMP. I hate you with all my heart and I hope you burn in hell.

but most importantly, FUCK PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T VOTE KAMALA HARRIS.

You thought you fucking did something by not voting, well guess what, this is partially your fault. You allowed this to happen. By not voting for Trump’s opponent, you let him win. I hope you’re fucking happy with yourself. Good fucking job.

Now everyone will suffer the consequences of your actions. Not only you americans, but people outside of the US as well.

You thought you stopped a genocide supporter, but you allowed another one, who by the way is much much worse, to come into power (AGAIN). You keep talking about how the system needs to be changed or whatever, and you joke about overthrowing the government, and that votes change nothing. Yet you don’t do anything. You want a revolution? Then fucking start one. Come on, change the system. Overthrow the government, go ahead. “Both candidates are evil and I don’t want either to be president!” THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Oh, you don’t actually want to do that? It sounds scary and impossible to achieve? Then you better at least fucking vote next time. Make a difference.

You achieved nothing, and only made things worse.