#now you know me you know I'm not quick to brand things as rooted in sexism and patriarchal ownership

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Still not over when my little brother's youth pastor told him that dating was bad like what's he meant to do??? Watch a woman from afar for six months then ask her father for her hand?????

[allaboutnayeli]

fresh out of the salon [k.martin x reader]

prompt: kate gets her hair done after the season ends and you're in love with it

author notes: let me firstly disclaim that i don't know shit about hair outside of black ppl hair 💔 and i hardly know that. secondly, i don't know if kate is a natural blonde with dark roots or a brunette who dyes her hair blonde but im pretty sure she's a natural blonde so.. if she isn't just ignore all the times i call her that. thirdly im still getting kate's personality 🙇🏽‍♀️ so this might not be super accurate to her but whatever. anyways enough yapping, enjoy it.

word of the fic: hair

it was only a few days after iowa's defeat against south carolina. kate was quick to call you when she reached her hotel room; feeling drained from the intense atmosphere during the game and also heartbroken she left her basketball college career off with a loss. you unfortunately couldn't make it due to having to focus on softball season. if iowa had played a home game for the final, you could had comforted your girlfriend afterwards but sadly she was still in ohio; having to do a few promotional shoots for a brand.

having to stay away from you longer than nesscary annoyed the blonde, but money is money so she sucked it up. you two relied on facetime and constant talking to stay connected. your teammates teased you all the time about how you been glued to your phone everytime there was a break at practice, but could they blame you? it's kate we're talking about here.

it's around ten pm when the blonde finally facetimes you. her face being close to the camera once the call connected.

"why am i seeing more of your nose than you, kate?" you giggle. getting comfortable on your bed before putting your attention fully on her. kate makes an obvious pout that you can see very closely with her face almost squished against her phone.

"i want a kiss," the iowa basketball player pulls her face away, not too far, to give you a full look of her lips. you roll your eyes, but internally the cuteness levels going on right now from her were huge. you indulge her before counting down so she was ready to kiss the phone screen the moment you were.

she lays back onto the hotel bed pillows afterwards. a satisfied look on her face; kate was truly the only one who can make you do something as embarrassing as kissing a phone screen. you take in her full appearance now. the blonde had obviously slip on some pajamas after coming to her hotel room from the shoot. a matching hello kitty matching pajama set that you recognized as yours is on her body.

"who said you could take my clothes?" you make a fake angry expression that just makes kate shake her head in amusement. "i did and i'm your girlfriend, so deal with it," kate says.

you roll your eyes before noticing a slight difference with kate. her hair looks slightly different than how it was when she left iowa. the darkish blonde of the player now has nicely done highlights on them. when did kate get her hair done? and why didn't she tell you?

the silence from your side of the line makes kate pout, "talk to me, baby. i missed your voice all day."

a flutter goes through your chest at her words; kate always knew what to say to have you swooning. "you got your hair done!" you say. she giggles, looking away from the screen in shyness. the player wasn't used to someone noticing things about her appearance. it was a new feeling of appreciation that makes kate crave to be near you even more.

"yeah. since i was doing those photoshoots, i thought it would be best to give my hair some new life," kate leaves out the part about how the loss to south carolina made her cry and immediately want to go to the salon to feel new again the moment she left the stadium (in the end only getting her hair done earlier today), but that's a topic for later. two things could be true at once though.

"but no selfies?" it was now your turn to pout. feeling slightly sad that your girlfriend didn't send a selfie your way after the first step she took out of the salon. kate wants to kiss away your pout so badly, but can't; curse nil deals.

"i was going to, baby. don't pout at me, it just makes me miss you even more. i had a photoshoot right after the salon and couldn't really text," kate explains. the pout on your lips disappears with you back to missing her.

"it looks so good on you, babes. makes me wanna kiss you"

"then gimme a kiss. the screen doesn't matter to me," kate puckers her lips up. leaning back close to the screen as you do the same.

you two stay up until twelve. during the rest of the call you keep taking facetime photos of kate because for one, she was just so adorable and for two, her new hair was doing things for you. the highlights really brought out her eyes. you were definitely going to kiss her all over her face when she landed back in iowa.

you tell kate to go off to sleep when the clock strikes one, so she can be well rested for her flight back home tomorrow. she pouts until you agree to fall asleep on the phone; who would say no to that face?

© thinkingaboutjaedyn

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ok well fuck now I'm thinking about new haven wards !!!! specifically like. how would their appearances differ from what we know in pd to in. worm world. like AS FAR AS I KNOW . with my somewhat limited knowledge. there are no fucking ELVES in worm. so virions just got. normal ears . but what else is different !!!! when condi first described vyncent in s1 he actually said he had black hair. so i think it might be cool to make his hair darker more of a natural color. maybe shitty box dye purple with black roots or something. proabably permanent bags under his eyes because he feels like he always has to keep watch for something (it's hard to get much rest at night when you're by yourself in an unfamiliar place and spend your waking hours making potential enemies out of other capes). I almost think he would be a little bit more jumpy, more quick to react if someone were to come up behind him without announcing themselves. pull a hidden knife first ask questions later kind of survival instincts. if william still has his white streak i think it's dyed instead of natural from his powers. and because i like 2 project on my favorites I want him to have the little under dye in the back too. for me. actually probably the Most Normal Looking out of the three of them ironically? because hes very new on the cape scene, probably the most recent one to get his powers, they haven't had as much of a physical effect on him yet. his weird things are probably more stealth at first; reflective eyes in the dark, colder than normal skin etc etc. things that you wouldn't really notice in civilian clothes . not sure if the whole decay thing still applies but if it does i imagine he'd eventually have to put more effort into his civ appearance to keep his identity hidden (gloves to cover discolored fingers, maybe a fake pair of glasses to have an excuse for the more obvious reflections, etc etc) . dakotas hair is maybe closer to natural redhead ? or he used the same shitty box dye as vyncent . I don't know if dakota would have as many scars here as he does in pd- he's still an adrenaline junkie so it's possible but I also think he knows he doesn't have accelerated healing so while he probably still has More Than Normal I don't think it would be quite as extensive. im still endlessly amused by the thought of people seeing him as failsafe and assuming he's a brute on appearance alone so he gets to keep the muscle mass . the circumstances of his parents death are still vague but if he did have a close call run in with the s9 I think he should have SOME sort of physical mark from that. just bc I think that's so fucking tasty. maybe give him a tattletale style jack scar . NO YOU KNOW WHAT. REALIZING THIS AS IM TYPING. that deal . that deal that Jack made with Purity's kid where he was like "ill let you live because I want to see if you get strong enough to kill me in a few years" you know what I mean!!!!! something like that seems extremely on brand for dakota cole. holy shit.

[jewishbarbies]

The one thing that really annoys me as an Indian person is Taylor Swift's misunderstanding of the word "karma".

Karma in Sanskrit actually means "an action" and there are plenty of meanings but the closest one is "a professional duty" as in what you do to uphold your cultural, moral and other important values. That is the true meaning of karma, as opposed to whatever "whatever goes around comes around" meaning. The problem with that is Taylor just takes in that and sort of deprives it of its original essence and what it stands for, so it's incredibly funny to see a person brag about how they're friends with Karma when in reality, they engage in performative activism, align themselves with questionable people, have like 5,000 jets causing global warming and countless others.

Karma is more about the "cause to effect" idea, at least in Hindu culture that I am familiar with, rather than getting revenge on her boyfriends. And people think she's some lyrical genius when she just strings together words that make no sense. At this point she's decided to manufacture music, just make them "look" good with fancy, flamboyant words than convey some actual meaning besides her usual themes that she's gained popularity for.

I know it's a silly thing to get worked up over but it bothers me because people at home here don't know the actual root meaning of Karma and what it stands for and believe that Taylor Swift knows more than they know about their own culture. I wouldn't be surprised if she milks this word and tries to idk, get it patented or something like how one of the Kardashians tried to brand their name or something.

I'm just sick of this lol. People wouldn't shut up about her love life and when you ask them why, they respond with "well, it isn't our business to know about Taylor's personal life" when she chose to air her personal life in the form of songs. She could've easily chosen to change her songwriting direction, perhaps in a way to stay attuned to her roots and be more culturally relevant as times pass, but eh..

Honestly I feel like Taylor just pops up then and now, at least from my perspective. Like her popularity shoots up, everyone loves her, everyone coddles her and then a couple of months, it's all silent. She just relies on quick short bursts of fame and tries to stay relevant during that period, then go on a break or something (?) and stir up the Press pot.

I'm just sick of her lol. Her music is kind of mid, like your average bedroom pop mixed in with some synth and a drum beat. I'm not a qualified musician but I don't understand why people see her as some God when she's just.. basic lmao, in the recent years. Like, boring vanilla lyrics with no substance in them and catchy choruses so she could stay afloat in this TikTok era. Like how many people made those "it's me hi I'm the problem it's me" videos?

[standtogether2020]

FEAR

Fear haunts you always, the goal is to overcome what you can.

Fear is also only one word in a level system, starting with anxiety.

Anxiety is a derivative of fear and though the list may be in the wrong order, I believe this is where it starts. From worry to anxiety then the signs of being scared into panic then full paranoia switching over to outright fear evolving into terror and finally paralyzation.

This chain of the brain's processing system can be a hindrance to anyone and maybe even everyone if you are willing to show it. I feel that everyone has a weakness to fear in some way shape form or another. The problem is not the fact of knowing this chemical process of the brain exists but knowing what level matches what situation for it is different for all. I have been working with one of my wonderful ladies through her anxiety for a few years now. I'm surprised I did not think of this as a topic sooner. After one of her recent surgeries, her anxiety got really bad on certain things. I will leave it at that as it is up to her as an individual adult to share her medical records, though I am proud of the support groups she has been a part of. I may have logic but I lack experience where these support groups have the experience. So a quick thank you to the people for helping her where I lack first-hand knowledge. On the logical side of things though this is the advice I spoke to ease her mind...

I get that anxiety is a real thing and it may not be something to completely overcome. It will always be a part of our life. It is our brain's natural safeguard to protect us from bad situations or dangerous circumstances. Although you can not let it rule you. The brain may do the auto-calculating for us on the matter of what is scary, but now and again we have to manually calibrate a new list with reason and logic to decide if something is worth the fear or not. If you listen to your auto fears constantly you will always live in a shell and be branded as a coward and knowing today's society many other words can attack the mind a lot worse. But by adding bravery and courage you will have the strength to face it instead of running from it.

This was not quite understood right away so I came up with some scenarios to help comprehension. for instance...

Every time I personally go on a walk I wonder when I will fall into a manhole I didn't know was open for sewer line repairs I was unaware of, or every time I cross the road will be the time I get hit by a car, truck, or bus. Who knows, keep in mind if these are confusing,... I AM BLIND haha... others were in the police force. How many times do they walk into a gas station robbery wondering if they tell a young adult to put the stolen item back and do it simple as that or tell them to put the item back just to receive staring down the barrel of a 45. Or will speeders pull over right away or cause a ten-mile pursuit through high traffic, red lights, construction zones, or mall plazas how many casualties will happen. Or to go deeper a military soldier walking across the desert wondering when the next step will be when they hear a heavy click and realize they can no longer move or sudden death due to the pressure mine they now stand on. Thinking how long they will last before they get tired of standing and fall or get shot down due to being stuck in the open. Maybe even the thought of someone on their bomb squad making it to them in time to defuse it or the thoughts of the bomb specialist what if this mine is wired differently. which wire will release it, and which one will make us both go.

All of these people are brave and courageous because even though these fears are deeply rooted they still go out there and do what they're trained for because they all have one goal in mind. For the good of our country and the protection of our people. When my woman was four blocks down having an asthma attack it was up to me to grab the rescue inhaler and blindly book it at high speed on foot. I did not care what obstacle got in my way. I would be there for my woman when she needed me or I would die trying.

I hope this can help others with anxiety or those in fear of something. Understanding fear will always be in our lives but I hope this can help the processing of anxiety ... even just a little better

--- Eli Mackay Ramirez

[chanstopher]

oh it's no biggie since i recover pretty quick! the 2-3 days where i am, in fact, sick are the absolute worst though, yes 😔 i actually have been set on going into psych since the seventh grade skdjfhf but now i'm hoping to get into anthropology as well & since i've always been into writing, i have english literature there too ^^ but my main area of interest is the social sciences revolving around psych! there's lots of unis i applied to where we could choose up to 3-5 preferred majors so for me it's anthro/socio -> psych -> eng lit. we became stays around the same time then! i actually had an aghase friend of mine (who was keeping up with the show) send me a video of felix saying that i would never expect what his voice is like dfhgjds that's when i looked it up and started watching because i grew a liking to them from the episode i watched :D i was there to witness the eliminations though. remember crying so much when chan kept apologizing to them 😭 i'm so glad they're all together now because i can't imagine 2/3 of my bias line not being there :c that's so sweet though; it's fun imagining you take a while to reach that conclusion after thoroughly dancing around it! i actually leant towards chan during miroh era but side effects dragged me back to my roots haha what kind of content do you enjoy making the most? since i know people might think what one mainly does is enjoyable but for me it's always different depending on whether it's something that sparked my creativity or something i just felt compelled to make for the sake of keeping my blogs alive hehe - 🌨

I apologize in advance because my grammar skills are so bad, as someone who likes writing im so sorry you're gonna spend the next month reading my run on sentences 😔 but wow thats so cool that you've had an idea of what you wanna do since 7th grade! i thnk the only thing I cared about then was anime lmao

The getting bias wrecked thing is like my brand at this point, I am so bad at guessing who my bias is going to be from the start of liking a group it's almost comedic. when I got into got7 i went from jackson > mark > jb > yugyeom in a week flat before i was sure it was yugyeom lmao and when i got into astro i was torn between rocky and moonbin, only to end up becoming eunwoo biased ONLY to get bias wrecked when i saw them in concert by jinjin. I'm always so messy until i find the right member and then its like all in hard core lol

I think I like making graphics the most, I can find it to be the most frustrating because if things dont work the way I want it can be harder to figure out how to fix it, but when they do work I find myself really proud of the result. gifs i find to be a more mindless task, since half of it is just waiting for clips to load and render, and for the most part coloring them isn't really as creative. I do also love art, but it takes way more time to do so it's harder to commit myself to wanting to spend 10+ hours on a painting vs maybe 2-3 on a graphic. I also just think that the inspiration to make a graphic gets me all jittery and excited in a way other things dont. And even when I look back on things and I dont really like the result anymore I can usually find something about it that I'm still happy with (but that is also me being a perfectionist and hard on myself lol) what about you?

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

Broke college student tip:

Learn to love cooking. Like get into it. Enjoy it. Get excited to cook. Why? When you learn to cook and enjoy it you'll save money. Lots of money. And you'll be eating better, healthier food too.

For example. I'm eating seafood and veggie pasta right now with a white wine cream sauce. In a restaurant, this would be a fancy meal, costing $20 or so for a small portion. Literally cost me like $5 or so in ingredients to make. And like 20 minutes to cook. And I made enough for lunch AND dinner. When you know how to cook you can make cheap foods taste amazing.

Here's some advice how to make this easier:

Buy frozen things. Frozen veggies, frozen fruits, frozen meats, etc. Frozen lasts longer and saves you money and stress.

Have basic herbs and spices on hand. Salt, pepper (red, black, and white), thyme, rosemary, basil, garlic powder, onion powder, turmeric, bay leaf (chopped is best), cinnamon, paprika, cumin, and sage are my most commonly used ones!

Common recipe ingredients to keep on hand: pasta, rice, lemon/lime juice, garlic, onion, white wine, frozen veggies, potatoes, frozen meats, sugar, butter, pasta sauces, tomatoes, eggs, soda/pineapple juice/beer (great for marinades or cooking meat).

Frozen things when stored properly can be stored for a couple months and portioned out making quick meals easy!

Learn flavor profiles. Citrus, basil, rosemary, butter, salt, garlic, and onion are all fairly universal in their uses while things like cumin and turmeric have a stronger, earlier flavor and are great for stews, curries, pastas, soups, and sauces!

Learn to shop. If it's non-perishable and bogo, get it! Bogo (buy one get one) is basically half off and now you have two things for when you need it! Walmart brand pasta is like $0.98 a box. You can also get a bag of frozen extra small shrimp at Walmart for like $5 and there's about 50 in a bag. Shop non-perishable items by weight (price per ounce) and perishables by size.

Pasta sauce can be put in the freezer and if stored well can keep for like 3 months!

Sauté your veggies! They taste so good that way!!! A little butter, garlic, rosemary, and onion. Sprinkle with salt after and viola!

It's easy to fall into a food rut, so treat yourself every now and then with something different or challenge yourself by limiting yourself to 5 ingredients or something to make you exercise your skills.

Make your own barbecue sauce. It's so fun! All you need is molasses, ketchup, brown sugar, and whatever you want to customize it. I usually put honey and bourbon in mine.

Go on pinterest and find easy recipes! The great thing about a recipe is every single one you see is customizable and was made to the cooker's preference. You don't like mushrooms? Don't put them in and add something earthy and unami like turmeric or sumac in its place.

Tofu is easier than you think.

Rice is very filling and goes with most everything.

Keep fresh herbs fresh by putting them in water. You might even root and grow your own!

Frozen fruits are amazing for marinades or more "tropical" tasting recipes. Frozen citrus and pineapple are great for making a citrus chicken and rice! Just defrost in a bowl and then add the chicken to the bowl.

Tortillas are amazing and keep for a while in the fridge.

Print out recipes and keep them in a binder so you make notes and changes directly on the paper!

[xjoonchildx]

Hi Ana, I'm going on my first holiday since the pandemic and there will be a Sephora. I'm quite a newb when it comes to makeup but I don't know when I'll get the chance to shop in such a place again and I'd love to treat myself. Do you have any recs for both makeup and skincare with their supply?

anon the way i rested and hydrated and stretched before answering this ask because i have been training for this day 🤣

i rooted through the stash (which is out of control and YES at some point i'll need to address it 🥴) and pulled out some things i really love from sephora.

please keep in mind that i've left out a ton of drugstore faves in different categories that i think ourperform the pricier stuff at sephora. but you said you are ready to splurge so lesssss go:

foundations:

IMHO danessa myricks is making the best complexion products in the high-end game right now. plus she always offers a great shade range covering a wide swath of skin tones and types. her yummy skin foundation is SO GOOD (warning very very glowy). i also have her yummy skin blurring balm powder which is incredibly versatile and great for quick skin correction on the go.

now -- besides miss danessa, i finally bought the fenty beauty skin tint and DAMN am i impressed. most skin tints give greasy rotisserie chicken on me but this one just really looks natural and skin-like. love it.

the charlotte tilbury beautiful skin foundation is also 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

sephora's best skin ever foundation is also a great option on the lower end of the price scale!

concealers:

concealers are my weakness. okay, i mean all makeup is my weakness so maybe it's more accurate to say concealer is my kryptonite. i cannot see a new concealer launch and not try it it's not possible no ma'am no sir.

two that i'm enjoying right now from sephora are the lawless concelaer and the kaja concealer. a fair warning that kaja is a k-beauty brand and therefore there is a bit to be desired in terms of shade range with this product.

bronzer:

i'm living for this charlotte tilbury cream bronzer. i have some other drugstrore faves but this is what i'm loving from sephora right now.

blushes:

the rare beauty liquid blushes are beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. i'm really bad about blush like one swipe in and i go straight to clown town but this product sheers out really nicely and saves me from myself.

melt cosmetics also makes great blushes but they are an express bus pass to clown town so use a light hand because these babies are PIGMENTED.

anon i really hope this helps and please enjoy splurging on yourself!

please let me know what you get 😉

[rumblelibrary]

I'm not sure if you have already done something like this before, and if you did, please let me know, I'd love to read it, BUT I was wondering if you could do a little thing, maybe with Sebastian Zöllner, where he is like totally behind on every fucking deadline, work is just piling up, he got into stress with his ex, the dishes are not done, he should go take out the trash, you know, everything is just piling up and he just cracks under the pressure, severely doubting his worth as a person. And his friend, the reader, gotta try their best to build him up again, telling him all the things they love about him, and it slowly turns into a love confession without them noticing.

Is this too elaborate, does that make sense for Seb? Idk. To me it does? Like he's always very...Seb around other people, but deep down I feel like he's always under this pressure to live up to his own and others expectations, wanting to be big and famous and perfect in a way.

I'm so sorry, brain go brrr.

Never Enough [Sebastian Zöllner x Reader]

Word Count: 4k Warnings: bad habits (heavy smoking and drinking), self deprecation, depression and some fluff in the end. A/N: I loved this prompt, I love to write Sebastian so thanks to you once more for giving me this opportunity

He should have probably realised something was wrong when the ashtray was vomiting cigarettes out from its dooming position beside the laptop.

He nervously used the left part of the one he just ended to scavenge some space and just pressed it along the others.

Or maybe when after another sip of the same cold coffee mixed with cheap gin he felt the walls of his stomach revolting and stirring against him, threatening a much bigger damage.

Or, again, when he felt like calling back Elke because he was so alone and he was hungry and tired, and she might hate him but he could pull some puppy eyes and maybe it would work. It usually did.

The truth was that he shouldn’t have taken up so many jobs, but the bank account was crying and he needed them, he needed the money.

But again: writing about the umpteenth girl- artist performing naked on a famous historic location?

Or do we have to talk about the way somebody splashed some colour here and there  on a canvas saying it is the catharsis of his young mind against the social construct?

Please, may God spare him from the man calling himself landscape artist because he takes pictures of naked girls on a field.

Charged up with this amount of nothingness, he could just write and delete, write and delete, words count going quickly up to 400 only to go back at 0 in a snap of his fingers over the buttons, because he couldn’t just tear them down. He had to give them some hope, a glimpse of potential he couldn’t see and he wasn’t even aware it existed. Each of them disgusted him, but he was specifically asked to be entertaining and not a killer with his words.

So he kept swiping up videos and photos of these artists, trying to find one thing, one holy grail to get attached to and finally write one good optimistic line in the middle of the words he had to pull up to keep a moderate tone.

He rubbed his temple running over his hairline, which by the way was perfectly fine, before his hand reached down and he touched his t-shirt pulling on the neckline to gather some air, he was wearing his pyjama still, white stained shirt on blue tartan pants. He raised up the shirt and bowed his head down giving in a long inhale from the inside and just cringed to himself.

He looked around as he couldn’t stand up, if he did then he will get only more distracted and these articles needed to be ready for tomorrow.

He noticed the spray against the mosquitos on the floor, those little bastards always hiding under his desk to bite his ankles, he picked it up and sprayed it over himself like it was perfume hoping to ignore the need of a shower for few more hours.

His eyes scanned the small studio flat he was living now: the dishes sticking out of the sink, the noisy fridge buzzing. The one table that was also his work desk filled with used mugs, stained plates covered in cigarettes and leftovers, empty packages of his favourite brand discarded everywhere: from the bathroom up to the couch and to the small bed he owned. Damn, if he run out of cigarette it will be hard to ignore how he also run out of food.

The space was dark and gloomy, some of his stuff still packed up, the fake pop art panting of him and Elke staring at him reminding him of his other loss.

He didn’t touch the bed in days, he just slept on the seat or on the couch.

His attention was attracted by his phone buzzing.

He sat up straight as it was her, it was Elke.

Did she sense his discomfort? 

“Elke” he picked up the call in a second.

“Wow, a quick answer, did you have your phone already in your hand or it happens just so late at night?”

Her sarcasm did’t go past him, but he just thought how long it was since he heard a human voice and not the recording of some idiot calling himself artist.

“No, I was thinking of you”

“Yes, sure, look I have sent you an email with the bills of the time you were here, the ones you have left to pay and it is only fair that you pay at least half of them”

“Sure” he just said it because he wanted to go past the point of money, he wanted her back. Maybe he could crush at her place, feel her hands through his hair, shower, sleep some good sleep and the articles will come around in few types “Elke, I was thinking we might…”

“I just called you for the bills”

“I know, but maybe we could have” his eyes darted at the top right of his laptop screen to see the time “a drink together?”

She huffed a laughter as he frowned lightly “I know you Seb, if it is money or sex what you’re looking for that door is closed and it has been for a long time”

“I know” he murmured as he let out a breathy sigh, a dooming sense of loneliness creeping over him like a giant spider ready to wrap him up and eat him “I just hoped…”

“Don’t hope Sebastian, you’re already an hopeless cause”

She hung up on him and he was left there, he kept that same pose with his phone against his ear. His eyes trailing once again over the empty page of his document on the screen, on the chaos surrounding him.

He nibbled on his bottom lip before running his tongue over the pained area.

He pushed the phone back down on the table with a tremble of his jaw and a shaky hand.

She was right.

What he did of his life anyway? He lost most of his occasions in life, he was now in his thirties and he concluded nothing of what he hoped to be, he failed in all the departments both as an artist and as a critic.

A jack of all trades is a master of none, and maybe only the first type of the famous quote could be applied to him.

He couldn’t even take the trash out or he couldn’t remember the last time he ate something that was vaguely resembling of fruits or vegetables. It is all good when you imagine yourself as a bohemian rooting against the world, when you convince yourself that’s only the proof you needed to know you are fighting well against a system of art that privileges banality and marketing over real artistic value and that, one day, all your struggles will be worth it.

Even Picasso was poor for a long time in Paris.

Damn, maybe to be in a situation like this in Paris would sound more romantic.

But the truth was: he never imagined to have to do it alone, that life would feel so overwhelming, that there wouldn’t be anything but extreme struggle, anger, loneliness and a terrible diet.

For a moment he wished to be a baby again, to be the bright boy he was and let mommy take care of his needs and his dirty shirt and empty stomach. He wished that maybe somebody noticed him before, that somebody saw his talent and helped him to pull it out instead of leaving him to do it on his own only to come late to every step.

And now it is too late, he is lost in the sea of terrible paid jobs and anguishing relationships, let’s not forget maybe he indeed had a receding hairline and he was doomed to get bold .

He squeezed his eyes as a soft sob took over his lip, hand running over his forehead as he pulled on his hair justifying his tears with some physical pain. He shook his head as he tried to gain back some composure, hand flung over to pick up his coffee mug and giving in a long gulp of the coffee, the same one he swore before to not touch again, only to almost choke on it, couching it out only to pick up the bottom hem of his shirt to clean his laptop screen.

He fucking hated to write on a computer, the old typewriters inspired him but that damn ink was too expensive now for his sore pockets.

He smirked to himself as he kept doing it, finding good excuses to call himself off any responsibility. But maybe Elke was right, well she surely was, she had two degrees, maybe he was really a lot cause. He frowned as he wiped slowly the screen with his already stained shirt, the wetness sticking then against his skin as soon as he let it go giving him another shiver.

He didn’t have even the strength to cry, he could only accept it was over.

The curse that he shouted out loud when he heard knocking at the door, smashing him out of his thought spiral, generated an immediate anger reaction from him.

“Fuck, shit, if it is the fucking neighbour, I swear I will kill her cat or that rat she has as cat, fucking hell”

He grumbled as he stood up moving across the table not caring about his state, he only wanted to crawl back into a ball and maybe nuzzle a bit somewhere.

When his death glare appeared after the door opened in a powerful swing his eyebrows lifted immediately finding you on the other side.

He blinked, one of those sleepy blinks where somebody closes his eyes and then opens them really wide to make sure it is not made up in their brain, that one.

His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You should wash your mouth with holy water Sebastian” you said shaking your head raising your arms to show him some paper bags “I am bringing food and body shower”

He shook his head “Are you calling me stinky?”

“I am” You quickly replied moving past him into his place ignoring his groan.

He stood by the door slowly closing it, he was sure that old bitch was looking through her peephole, only then he stared at you try to make your way into the filthy kitchen. He was really embarrassed about his antics, but surely this time he exceeded some record.

“I am speechless Seb, I helped you with the moving and this place seems to have taken over you” you said as you knew he was in some rut when he kept such a long phone silence.

He was usually always texting, sending memes or one sentence texts.

You cared about him, deeply, you knew he was full of flaws and little quirks, but that’s what made him special. Nevertheless, you were worried about the state of the place, how it showed the way he let himself get dragged through the days. So he observed you, better to say, your back, the way you moved around opening the window to let fresh air inside, turning on a lamp to make some light that wasn’t just the blue one of the screen. Pulling out commodities and food from your magic bags like some sort of Mary Poppins of struggling writers. How you poured soap in the dirty load of dishes and pans, the way you marched securely to his desk to pick up that filthy mug and you frowned just sniffing at it.

“Is that poison?”

“Rat poison” he corrected you.

You shook your head as you cleaned a glass and filled it with water and among the groceries you pulled out a banana.

“Have this now, it will help” you said and he took the glass with one hand and the banana with the other like his brain was shut down.

He stared at you as you leaned your head slightly on side, he went through bad times after the break up but you had never seen him in such a helpless state.

He was chaotic but he always loved to keep up his appearance, to give that handsome and damned kind of vibe.

“Sebastian” you called him as his eyes spaced out and now where back on you “Are you alright?”

He observed you, he stared at your face like he was trying to recognise you, truth it was he kept pushing himself to say yes, say yes, say it is all good, make a joke, a remark, keep it up. You don’t need his burden, you don’t need to hate him like Elke and others do.

Just say yes.

“No” he said as his lips trembled and you watched his ironic mask fall right in front of you as he looked away hiding his tears, real tears, not the ones he can play out whenever he needs.

Just as quickly as you gave him the banana and the water you took them off his hands afraid he might hurt himself by dropping the glass in particular.

"Seb" you called his attention as he sobbed moving like a bird trying to hide his face against his own shoulder.

You took his now empty hands dragging him toward the couch and kicking off the pile of dirty clothes and discarded books on top of it to make him sit down with you.

"Talk to me"

He didn't, the man that was never out of words, even in the times he should have been, was now silent as a tombstone staring away from you as you gave a gentle squeeze to his hands. It pained you to see him in such a state.

So weak, so helpless like a lost child.

"I can't help you if you don't talk"

Sebastian shook his head still staring at the wall.

"You can't help me"

"Is it about writing? I can proof read you, it will be a moment"

He shook his head again making, hair bouncing from side to side.

"No, it is not important if I write or not"

You frowned at that comment.

"What the hell?" you just blurted out "Seb you're a talented writer, you're passionate, funny, witty, why shouldn't it be important?"

He looked up at you shaking his head "I can't write, I can't put together two sentences"

Your eyes travelled onto his side profile, truth to be told he looked worn out but he was still handsome like only Sebastian Zöllner could be. He had that chaotic charm, even with a wrinkled suit he was fearless, strong, poignant. You couldn't avoid him, he owned every place he stepped in and you could feel his gaze run through your bloodstream.

When he asks a question, he meant it, it was a test run into your bones and you loved every second of it.

His lips tightened as he diverted his gaze finally to you. You knew his relationship with Elke was important, he cared about others even if he didn't show it daily like most people do.

"Is it Elke?"

"No, she was just right"

"About what?"

He gulped, his throat dry as he pulled his bottom lip in his mouth grinding his teeth over it like playing something through that gesture.

"About me"

"Breakups are always shit, don't you even.."

"No Y/N" he interrupted you, he was serious, maybe his voice trembled but he wasn't lying or playing some role "I am really a lost cause, I mean look at his place"

His hand waved around the small flat like a drunk orchestra director.

"It is pure trash, I haven't finished unpacking, I didn't have food until you came, I am unable to look after myself, to look after the people that I care about. I worked so hard to be an artist and then I became a critic and now I am so knee deep into my own shit that I have more debts than entries, more failures than successes, more haters than friends"

He gulped down, the waterline of his eyes dangerously red and he sniffled up as he let out a little weak whisper "I just wish I could disappear"

"No"

It came out of you like a lighting bolt, it surged out of you before you could even elaborate. Like an order. A command.

"Seb, you're now in a rough patch of life, but you have always worked hard and well as a writer"

"I am a writer because I failed as an artist"

"You're a writer because you know of what you're talking about, because you're able to see the difference between marketing and passion, between hard work and laziness, because you respect that profession and it makes you the best critic"

"I just want to destroy them all because I am envious, Elke always said I am fuelled by my own envy”

"I have read pieces of yours only encouraging the rightful and bringing down the real frauds"

He shook his head as he was just fixating on the wrong, on the flaws, on the problems.

You huffed cupping his cheeks to force him to look at your eyes.

"Look at me" you said not admitting replies "you are talented in what you do, you are one of the best in your field and you're not on some big magazine only because they know they will have to put up with your shit: with the fact you always meet the people, you look at art pieces in presence, you touch them, you research the colours, you scrutinise everything to the bone"

He took your hands hating to be held like that but he squeezed them in his owns.

"And yes, you're allergic to ironing clothes and washing dishes is your personal nightmare, and yes, you give out many temper tantrums and have a terribly dark sense of humour, you are a failure at time and money management, you love filthy rich stuff and smoke like your life depends on it"

He stared at you, he listened quietly as you knew him from so long and many people, Elke included, wondered what you gained from helping him or just being around him that much. He often teased his ex about being jealous of you and she always said that it was like being jealous of a mortgage.

"So you agree?"

 "I agree to say you are flawed like all of us, that you are just the perfect balance to your writing, you're what you write. You're passionate, you give out the two hundred percent of what you can give, you are like this, you go all-in in everything you do, there's no compromise, no mid way, no foreseeable change of direction, you speed up into the darkness and don't look back. You are bold, you take risks, you let people hate you because you do not compromise with who is son of who or who is the director of what gallery, you judge people over their real qualities. Because you talk to them in their face, because you don't hide that yes, you want to be great, because you're handsome and charming and smart, nobody can outsmart you in your field, not even that idiot you hate that much"

"Golo Fucking Moser" he murmured

"Golo Fucking Moser" you repeated with a chuckle "you don't have anything to envy to him beside the bruises he probably has on his knees for bending down to anyone"

He chuckled at that comment.

"And also, you're more attractive, that pisses off Seb, it is unfair to the poor man”

He leaned his head on side as you wouldn't normally shower him in compliments, he had enough ego for that, but you had never seen him like this and you wished to never see him again in such a state.

"You find me attractive?"

"Well for sure you're an eye candy" you joked

"I mean it"

You rolled your eyes blushing a bit and huffing a chuckle "I do, alight? It is universal knowledge"

He looked at you as he still held your hands in his, his thumbs making soft shapes over the back of your hand.

"That I am attractive or that you find me attractive?"

You groaned looking away with an embarrassed giggle “okay, okay, I see you're back in yourself, let's eat now"

You moved to stand up but he didn't do the same remaining sat in his spot.

"Tell me"

"I pumped your self esteem enough, now let me go"

He chuckled softly, he never really thought you'd be interested. He usually shows off so many bad traits that he has to tone himself down and really try hard to attract someone. It is all an effort on his part to appear better or at least less quirky.

And then now look at you, appreciating even his shit show.

"Y/N" he murmured giving you a soft squeeze. You kept silent not daring now to meet his gaze. He bowed his head trying to reach for your eyes with his gaze and he looked up at you, a smile that wasn't provocative over his lips.

You pulled back yanking your wrists off his grip to move straight into the kitchen corner.

You begun pulling ut some fresh vegetables and bread, you also got some cheese knowing he loves it, wanting him to have a good dinner.

He followed you almost immediately and soon you found his arms grasping you once more in a hug, his chest pressed against your back, his forehead on your shoulder.

"Seb, you..."

"I know, I stink, just give me a moment" he said and you obliged him gently caressing his arms around you.

You hated to be in the friend zone, but you wouldn't be able to survive to lose him forever or to have him joke about it.

Now he was quiet, tender like a hurt pup.

"Thank you, you know you can count on me too, right? For anything” he said and you chuckled softly “I know, you’re my favourite avenger”

He nodded brushing his crisp beard against your cheek and after few minutes stuck in that hug he dropped a kiss on your neck "love you”

He pulled back giving you a smile as he picked the shower gel you left on the counter bringing it with himself to the bathroom with a soft hum.

You smiled a bit bitterly to yourself as you guessed it was meant in a friendly way, but today it was alright. You could endure it. Also that kiss, he always did it when he was drunk, at parties or in the taxi back home after a viewing. It was his cuddly way to say things without saying them, without rambling, and you appreciated that silent language. 

Maybe now he was drunk over his own feelings.

Just like you.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

[fayeimara]

Miya Atsumu || Solita

*Song Scenario | Inspired by Solita by PRETTYMUCH*

PAIRING. Miya Atsumu x you

GENRE. Fluff; A little angst, if you squint?

WARNINGS. Incredibly suggestive, probably sexual innuendos and references, swearing, implications of drinking, angst.. (from my perspective, which probably means nothing because I think I can't handle writing it)

The lavish, vast pool glitters under the sun, surface disturbed by the partygoers splashing around in the water without a care in the world. Atsumu stands at the edge, quickly checking over the various faces but doesn't find you or his brother among them.

"She's not inside." Suna's voice comes from behind him and he looks back to see the middle blocker walking back up to him. His usually neutral expression is disturbed with just the slightest indent between his eyebrow and before Atsumu looks away he catches the slightest twitch in his jaw.

So he's a little worried too. They both know trouble always finds you if you don't find it first. And at a party of this scale, it's an inevitability.

How did they manage to lose you already? You'd all only been here about twenty minutes when Atsumu and Suna decide to refresh your group's drinks and left you with Osamu but the both of you aren't anywhere to be seen now.

Backing away from the pool, Atsumu looks over past the green metal fence that blocks off the pool and its surrounding stone patio from the manicured lawn, crowded with people dancing to the music blasting from speakers that surround the entire backyard.

They'll have to wade in there but it's just as likely he and Suna might miss you entirely if you're in that crush of people. Where's twin telepathy when he needs it?

Suna's already headed over, deciding to try his luck and probably because they have to do something since neither you or 'Samu have answered the multiple texts they've sent asking for your location in this overcrowded fucking mansion.

The only concern is if they're wasting time by looking for you out here, but there's no way you would be inside, in one of the rooms, right? No, not unless you were in real trouble and 'Samu definitely wouldn't let anything happen to you.

So Atsumu follows after his teammate and pushes past the creaky gate to move onto the grassy area of the large backyard. Suna's already found Aran, at the edge of the crowd, and Atsumu walks up to hear him ask if he's seen either you or Osamu.

"Sure, just a couple minutes ago," The tall ace responds, "They should be hear somewhere."

And with that, he salutes them with his drink and moves away towards the set of double doors that lead into the kitchen of the house.

"Do you want to take the left while I go in from the right? Text once we find them?" Suna offers, already starting to head over to one side of the large crowd.

But Atsumu stops him with a hand to his shoulder, "Nah, I think we should just go through the middle. If she's in there, that's where she'll be."

Suna smirks and doesn't respond, knowing 'Tsumu's most likely correct. This time it's Suna following Atsumu as they wade into the mess of swaying bodies, thankfully, not as tightly packed as they would be in a different setting.

It doesn't take them long now, with the confirmation that you're here, to finally catch sight of you. You are, in fact, dead center of the crowd and steadily holding the attention of many as you sway slowly to the music.

As soon as his eyes land on you, Atsumu feels a burn take root and start to grow in his chest. It's not exactly the way your hips move, seductively swinging to the beat, or your arms held in the air as you dance enticingly to the melody, locks of your hair softly flying with your moves and the breeze. It's not even that it's his brother you're with, standing there like an enraptured guardian, holding both your drinks and watching over you while you dance with one of your friends.

What completely combusts Atsumu is that as you dance so prettily, the center of fucking attention with your unconscious sensuality, you're doing so in what is unmistakably his jacket, the material shifting with and sliding over your body, almost covering the racy black bikini you're wearing.

You're dancing there among everyone, yet somehow looking like his personal, intimate show, in the jacket he gave you to wear when you were slightly chilly after a quick dip in the pool but that you'd ended up just holding in your hand instead while you asked him to go grab you a new drink.

Torn between dragging you away from the beautiful spectacle you're making for all the undeserving fuckers to see but not wanting the incredible dream to end, Atsumu watches a little longer. He watches until the song spirals up higher and higher and with every rise he feels like he's falling deeper instead.

A brush against his arm brings him back to the reality of the crowd, but it's only Suna, passing by and moving toward you with a piercing look in his narrow eyes. Before Atsumu can even register what he's doing, he grabs his friend's elbow, yanking him to a sudden stop.

"What're ya doin'?"

Those piercing eyes turn his way, with firm intensity, and the fox-eyed boy responds, "I'm getting some dirt off of a jewel."

"Don't ya fucking dare."

"You're going to want to let go off me before I deck you."

"So what," Atsumu raises an eyebrow, "You're gonna go over and forcibly remove the clothes off a girl?"

With his hand still on Suna's tense arm, Atsumu can literally feel when his friend decides to back down and continues through to the kill, "Yeah, that'll go over real well, especially with her, don't ya think?"

Eyes narrowed on him, Suna bites out a low, angry, "Fuck." before turning away and shoving back through the crowd until it's swallowed him up.

Yeah, he wouldn't want to watch you dance in Suna's jacket either, if the positions were reversed. But you're not wearing the middle blocker's name right now, you're wearing his. And it looks divine on you, as if both he and his name were made simply for you to exist and finally own them.

Atsumu turns back to watch you, moving ever so slightly closer, mesmerized by your movements but even more so by the thought of you being his. He's trapped in the suggestion of the moment, watching you and dreaming, until your eyes open again, only this time on a twirl that ends directly facing him, and your gaze catches immediately on his.

He watches as your eyes widen in surprise for a split second before delight pulls your lips into a wide, joyful grin. He feels like he's been pierced through the heart and he only wants to dig the arrow in deeper. He wants to grab you and take you away from all the eyes watching you and he wants to parade you around in his jacket for everyone to see.

What he does instead is walk up to you, eyes never leaving yours once, with a wide, happy grin on his own face. As he nears, he watches your left hand trace a sensuous path down over your other arm still up in the air, stroking through your hair before brushing briefly and every so lightly against your neck, only to stretch out to him, him. He reaches out when he's finally standing just in front of you, to connect his hand to yours, and gently pulls it to rest on his chest before sliding it up to the side of, and then around, his neck, pulling you flush against him in the process.

All the while, you keep dancing, even as your other hand flutters down from it's summit in the air, landing gently to brush down the back of his hair, before meeting the first and intertwining together at his neck. You keep your eyes and smile on him as he slowly matches your pace and rhythm, moving both with and against you. His own eyes burn back into yours, even his smile scorches, more a smirk now as his hands slide down your arms, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, moving further still until you feel the material around you shift and then his hands are like hot brands, under the jacket you're wearing, on your bare waist.

Your heartbeat picks up, more than it already had when you opened your eyes to see him watching you with that familiar possessive, covetous look on his face. You feel like you're burning while electric currents simultaneously race through you. The music sounds hollow, as if you might faint, so you get closer still and tighten your fingers together briefly in reassurance that you're okay, before loosening your grip again.

Neither of you have looked away since the moment you first caught and held his eyes. It's incredibly overwhelming, this awareness, the delicate bubble you're in with him. And it lasts for an eternal moment, forever seared in your memory.

Atsumu still watches, as you finally break your gaze to close your eyes. Even still, he can see the smile on your face, a small, delicate echo of the happy grin he first received when you saw him. He looks at you, the entirety of his world, and thinks of everything he could and wants to be for you.

It's in that moment he decides that the things holding him back from making this dream his eternal reality don't matter. Dancing together with you amidst the moving crowd, with the sun streaming down on the two of you and the beat of the music wrapping you together in this intimate embrace, Miya Atsumu knows beyond a shadow of doubt, that if you decide to give him even the slightest chance, he'll forever be yours.

Meant to Be Masterlist .. if anyone cares about what fic this scenario might end up a part of...

A/N (moved from above) : So... I planned and started writing this as a Haikyuu scenario unrelated to my SMAU series, instead as part of a bunch of fandom scenarios I have planned inspired by certain songs on my playlist. I also planned and started writing this with a completely different idea for direction it was supposed to go, to a completely different ending. Now...

I'm literally heartbroken because I'm conflicted with what to do with this scenario... do I add it to MTB (it can fit for Pt 2 with some edits) or leave it as an unrelated short scenario? If it's a separate scenario (I do also have a 2nd part / continuation already planned btw) then... do I keep it just an Atsumu scenario (which was unplanned, he wasn't supposed to get so.. close with reader when he found her :/) and let my heart stay broken for the rest of my life, or just decide to make it poly too because it's easier to let everyone have reciprocated love than experiencing the secondhand angst for Suna and Osamu? Like... I don't think it's a secret that Suna comes just before the Miyas' for me but, it's like, just barely sometimes :'( Can I do this to my baby??? Maybe I should just do the same scenario but with different endings for each of them so you can... pick your character/ending??? They can all be happy in their own parallel universes? I want to have a good cry... Atsumu baby, why did you put me in this situation??

Anyways, if I haven't ruined it for you by now, please read and let me know your opinion(s). Please.

A/N.. again (If you ended up reading this garbage) : So this is not the edited version, please don't lynch me over any mistakes or choices. I might come back to edit or even completely overhaul this. I'm literally posting it to get an opinion from an incredible, life-saving, heart-repairing friend.

@delusivist

© 2021 fayeimara. All rights reserved. Please do not repost, modify, or claim as yours.

[cynicalrecoverysociety]

Daily Dispatch: January Edition

I got you all a gift. Do you know what it is? A brand new month!

Let's recap January a bit. I was supposed to get back on track this month and to a certain extent I did. But I also didn't and I think it's important to be honest with yourself about the goals you set and your progress on them over time.

Goal 1: No eating after 9pm. After realizing that night time binging was a habit again I set this goal mid month. I did break it once or twice, one time while I was sick and I was eating/sleeping at weird times and once just a few nights ago, I drank and didn't eat much dinner and I ate the rest of my dinner a bit late. That feels awesome actually. The no eating after 9 is not a goal due to weird dirty rules or fasting goals. It's so that way I don't do my favorite thing which is about 9:30 start winding down for the night and head to the couch with tons of food and eat mindlessly until I'm overfull and in pain. And then continue to eat as much as I can possibly hold until I go to bed. So the times I didn't meet the goal still served me because it still was not really a binge. Big win for me, February has the same goal.

Goal 2: No eating out. I did eat out a few times but they were mostly when I was sick. I think this goal needs some tinkering because it's not like I'm against getting food out for a date or something special. I just am tired of wasting money on fast food we don't even like that much because we are hungry and lazy. But all in all we ate at home almost every day and made great progress. By the end of December it was so stressful we gave up and had takeout quite a bit. This month it was just a few times. My food addiction used to really fixate on restaurant food and I would get debilitating cravings. I felt like Big Mom with a hunger pang. I have not gotten this in a while and that's progress. I'm not sure how I'm going to word this one but I'll probably keep this goal and just know I'm my heart that if it's a date and not a quick drive through McDonald's then I'm good.

Goal 3: Water. Nailed it every day. I never stopped drinking enough water even in my worst times because I'm just thirsty now lol

SeCrEt GoAlS: pretty good. Time for the big reveal: the goals were 10+ minutes yoga and plank every day. I did that every day except the ones I was sick. I'm really happy about this one. But it feels crushingly inadequate to do so little. I feel like a failure for trying really hard to do a tiny bit when everyone on here is killing it at the gym and being super active all day and I'm like. I had 10 minutes where I wasn't sitting on my ass good job. Thus proving that comparison is the root of all displeasure. If I was in a vacuum of course I know that 10 minutes of unchallenging yoga is infinitely better than nothing. Doing it every day is the hardest part. I started with nothing and now I do this. It's progress. I have to stop comparing myself but I don't know how. Even yesterday I saw a picture of a girl in over the knee socks and I was just overcome with envy and sadness. I will never look as cute as her in over the knee socks no matter how much I like them. Comparison robs me of my self confidence. Not really sure how to tackle this one but I'll try.

In conclusion: I made some progress in my habits this month. I am still comparing a lot and it is very bad for me. I had no weight loss but I am still in recovery and just the fact that I had only one or two binges is a big improvement from December which was an almost nightly binge. I will continue to force myself to slowly change my daily habits rather than give into the urge to "radically change my life" for like 5 days then fail. Changing your life is hard. I am up for the challenge.

Healthy Eating Ratio: 24/31 (77%)

Plank Time: 34 seconds

[ncturn-e]

❛❛ ¡cherry bomb! ❜❜

❛ el mañana ❜

✰ ‘verse

⤷ sɓuᴉɥꓕ ɹǝɓuɐɹʇS

♡ pairing

⤷ dr. alexei / laura garcía (oc)

☹ warnings

⤷ none

word count

⤷ 1,845

tags

⤷ @justice-for-dr-alexei

a/n: this is the shitty start to hopefully something lovely for a man who never received the love he deserved. lemme know if you would like to be tagged on updates to this story :)

╔═.✵.══════════╗

╚══════════.✵.═╝

If there was one thing to be anticipated upon opening the bunker doors and lumbering inside, Laura knew the mean end of a shotgun was not the first on her list. Her first reaction was an ungodly squawk as she stumbled onto her backside, the guitar case clattering off her back and the bag of paints spilling onto the ground.

“Son of a bitch, Murray!” was her second, her anger rightly placed as she struggled to get to her feet while simultaneously gathering her strewn paraphernalia. Her hair was in massive disarray, and her tanned hands were splotched and smudged with still-drying paint.

“‘Knock before you walk’,” Murray seethed as he withdrew the shotgun, tugging on his beard in a sort of annoyed manner. “You know you're supposed to buzz the warning before sashaying in unannounced - you know that!”

“And I also know I'm the only other person besides you who knows how to get inside,” the Latina mumbled. The man slid to block her back before she could walk inside, and she produced a loud, tired huff. “It's been a long day, Murph. I just need a place to crash for the night. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“If you would've buzzed before bursting in,” Murray stated, clearly tense as the short Latina tried to bob around him. “You'd know that I was a bit busy at the moment -”

“- busy fucking around with the Girl Scout at the door when there are more important things to -”

Laura cut off the unfamiliar voice, “Another human being! Murph, I thought I was your only connection to the world above, you minx!” She seized the opportunity to dart past the eccentric and his shotgun just as he opened his mouth to object. The girl skipped through the armoured doors and into the main room, halting in her steps to visually greet three brand new individuals with a weary-but-still-pleasant disposition. There was a short, bleary-eyed, and oddly expressive woman, an angry moustached wall of a guy who resembled a father at the end of his wit, and a very unsettled, dishevelled man curled up in one of the loveseats. Naturally, Laura was not at all surprised by the oddities of the company - after all, she was friends with Murray Bauman of all people - and she set down the case of her guitar with a smile.

“Of all places a nice girl would be, I would never have guessed the home of a paranoid hermit,” the first man grumbled, placing his face in his hands and rubbing at the weariness lining his expression. The woman beside him sent her elbow into his arm lightly, shooting Laura an apologetic look, though she didn't appear to disagree with his assessment.

While the first stocky slab of a man ran a thumb over his moustache with an utterly exasperated noise, the woman next to him quickly got to her feet, moving to attempt an awkward introduction as she began to consolidate a clutter of wrappers and fast-good carnage together on the coffee table. The third man, likely younger than the other two, was staring at the newcomer through his glasses, wearing an aura of newly introduced confusion.

As Murray came bumbling back into the room, he seized Laura by the shoulders and attempted to steer her back towards the front door. She wriggled free with a wince, and, after casting another quick look at the trio around the table, quipped, “You never have company. Either you're doing something illegal, or convening to stop something illegal illegally.”

“How about Russian translations and a wild goose chase?” Murray muttered, massaging his forehead before nodding in the vague direction of the younger man. “This is Dr. Alexei, our very own foreign menace, graced by the company of Officer Jim Hopper and Joyce Byers.” He added in a tired tone, “Ne bespokoysya Ona bezvredna,” waving his hand. The young man, Alexei, loosened his shoulders slightly, still eyeing the little Latina with both wariness and interest.

“Okay. So, Jim -”

“Hopper,” the first man grunted.

“Oh - okay, Hopper. Joyce. Alexei.” Laura recited each name. “Neat. Anyone want something to drink?”

“You're not - Laura, I swear to Christ - can you at least stay in the other room?” Murray spoke exasperatedly, trying and failing to guide her out of the area.

Laura feigned offence. “You haven't even offered your guests a drink besides that crap Burger King calls edible?” she scoffed as Murray threw his hands into the air. She looked at the doctor, saying with playful sympathy, “I'll bet he didn't even get you water.”

“Apparently a strawberry Slurpee was worse than water,” Hopper growled before Joyce yanked at his arm as if to say ‘shut up, you big oaf.’

“He said strawberry was fine now!” the woman protested, but he waved her off. They then descended into what was most definitely a lover’s quarrel before Murray made a loud and obnoxious shhing noise through his teeth.

“Shut. Up.”

The others complied, except Laura, of course.

“So, what is going on here?” she queried, picking at a spot of dry paint on her knuckles. She moved to hoist her guitar case over to leave against the nearest wall, still observing the others.

There was a beat of silence, puckered by an annoyed whine from Murray before Joyce began to speak up. “Are you from Hawkins?”

Laura shook her head. “No. I'm just two towns over. Read what happened last year, though - that's some crazy stuff -” She cut herself off. “Byers. Byers - you're the woman who found her son two years ago! Er, what was his name -”

“Will.” Joyce showed a soft smile. Murray seemed to have given up on trying to reign in the conversation and had gone rooting through the kitchen, presumably for alcohol.

“Yeah! I'm glad you found him,” Laura went on with a shrug before perching herself on the armrest of one of the empty seats. When she caught the man called Alexei watching her with friendly intent, she shot him a grin before turning back to Joyce. “How's he doing these days?”

“Good - well, better!” Joyce answered, the smile remaining on her features before she was interrupted by an unintelligible grumble from Hopper. “Oh, what is it now? Do you need a Slurpee now? You big - baby - man.”

“Just saying,” the policeman said slowly, tone wavering with restrained irritation. “Not solving the Russian situation with small talk.”

“Russians? So they've finally broken through our defences?” Laura sounded only half facetiously.

Hopper gestured halfheartedly to Alexei. “Ask Smirnoff over here. He's the one with a big-ass base under the goddamn mall.”

Laura creased her brows, turning back to Alexei and repeating, “Base?”

“He can't understand you,” Joyce piped up, just as Murray came strolling in with a glass of what was probably whiskey.

“Doesn't know a lick of English,” Murray confirmed tiredly before falling back into the seat adjacent to the Latina. “I'm the nearest local translator, apparently,” he added with a gallon of absolutely sarcastic glee before tossing the whiskey down his throat. He winced before smiling way too widely.

Laura outed a small ‘ooooh’ as tucked a curl of hair behind her ear, looking at the scientist apologetically. Jamming a thumb into her chest, she made a clear introduction by saying, “Laura.” The Soviet repeated it slowly, thick and hesitant from his tongue. The grin that lit up her features sent a blossom of red spiralling into the young man’s face.

“Alrighty then. Since everyone knows my name now, why don't you all get me caught up on what the hell is happening?”

She humorously took the gurgling sounds of malcontent from Murray’s glass as an affirmative.

»»»

When all was said and done, it was an understatement to say Laura was baffled, if not utterly blown away by the massive import of information that had just been funnelled into her brain, all in a little less than an hour. However, visibly to Murray’s amusement, the presumed couple - who made it a point to announce that they were, in fact, not involved - went off into another minor argument before Murray had cordoned them off into another room.

Laura had taken it upon herself to sit on the floor beside the coffee table and sort out grocery baggie of paints, attempting to clean her hands off in the midst. “Russians have invaded America, and they chose to do so in the ass-end of nowhere. That was clever on their part, I will admit,” the woman mused over the muffled shouts coming from the other room. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, watching Murray come out of the kitchen and situate himself next to the Russian scientist on the sofa across from Laura. ”And he really doesn't understand English?” she requested confirmation, gently nodding her head at Alexei.

”Not a word.”

”Ah,” she murmured, drumming her paint-stained fingers along her leg. She sounded disappointed.

Alexei appeared to notice this, sitting up a smidge as he looked between Murray and Laura, eventually mumbling something to the other man with raised brows. Murray shook his head and replied, pausing in the middle before finishing with the babbling syllables, “Yedinstvennyye drugiye yazyki kotoryye ona znayet eto ispanskaya i umnaya zadnitsa.”

When Laura looked at him expectantly, Murray rolled his eyes and translated, “I told him you only speak English, Spanish, and Smartass.”

The Latina held up a very special finger. Murray chortled tiredly, muttering, “Yeah, you too, Lottie.”

After a reprieve, looked up again and asked slowly, “Do you, ah - do you think I could talk to him? Through you, I mean -”

Before she could even finish, Murray was out of his chair and fleeing to the kitchen for what was presumably more alcohol. “No, no, no, no, don't get me started. No. You already never shut your mouth as it is.”

Laura raised her hands in defence. “Jesus, Murph … I just want to talk to the guy. And I think you owe me for putting your thing in my face.” A pause, then through a sly grin, “Me pregunto cómo reaminará la Mamá cuando escucha cómo trataste a tus invitados.”

Murray gripped his glass with white knuckles and resignation, staring down the young woman - plus Alexei, who had no idea what was going on - before leaving the room, only to return with an armful of paper and a few dull pencils. “Comprise. Knock yourself out with a round of Pictionary first. I'll ‘repay’ you by being a translator tomorrow. Deal?”

Laura clicked her tongue and scrambled over to fetch the supplies, responding with a coy, “Es un acuerdo,” before watching Murray dramatically excuse himself. Looking over to the confused Russian, she smiled, scooting closer to his seat as his eyes followed her movements curiously. He opened his mouth to ask a question but shut it after remembering only one person in the bunker understood him. His brows furrowed, and he sat back with a faint little huff until Laura edged up next to him. He appeared a bit confused by her smile. Nevertheless, she raised a pencil and said anyways, “Let's play some Pictionary, comrade.”

[violetosprey]

What are your thoughts on the show YOU? I'm obsessed with it, I'm thinking about writing some fan fiction

I enjoyed YOU aLOT!  Oh man, I hope you do because honestly there’s so much you could do with that series.  You could write about what you think happened at the end, write an alternate version of the story (hey that could even FIX some things), or even just do drabbles of some of the characters.

I’m not sure if you wanted me to talk about it with orwithout spoilers, so I’m gonna play it safe here and give my generally spoiler-free thoughts below.

I’m a bit of a Lifetime movie junkie.  That is, at least when I have access to cable(and can watch it without prying eyes). Lifetime has a good amount of obsessive love stories, sometimes evenjust obsession in general.  Now Lifetime’snot fabulous and I honestly would call their movies 90 minute soap operas.  But hey, I LOVE “romance turned horror”yanderes that are often the villain.  AndLifetime’s got PLENTY of those (so a nice quick fix).  Needless to say, I’m easily amused by thefilms and I didn’t have the bar set too high for the TV series.

That being said, MAN just the first episode of YOU had the yandere Joe surpass nearlyEVERY yandere I’d ever seen on that channel. He was clever, observant, charming and funny.  He drew me in almost immediately.  So much so that I didn’t even notice until 10minutes into the first episode that he was ALREADY stalking his S/O (Beck).  He had this interesting effect where hesounds completely sane (like you agree with the stuff he says), but at the sametime there are very obvious moments where you get snappedback to reality and realize he does some things that are very wrong.  Then later youjump right back into completely agreeing with him.  This pattern repeats quite a bit.  That may sound like a mess of a character,but you kind of have to watch the series to know what I’m talking about.  He has a lot more depth.  His white and black areas seem to blend intothis interesting shade of gray.

Without spoiling too much about the series (it’s still kindof new) Joe stands out from any other Lifetime yandere I’d seen because we gotto hear ALL his thoughts.  Not just thedark ones, the thoughts where he genuinely loves Beck and wants her to succeedin every way possible too.  He also couldhave EASILY either been classified as a “good yandere” or could have come outas redeemed or enlightened in the end.  Again,this is something Lifetime’s never done. So needless to say, I was impressed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my villain yanderes and I have no issues withthem getting their usual comeuppance at the end of Lifetime stores.  But YOUhad me on the edge of my seat and wondering what exactly the outcome was goingto be.  I was all for seeing somethingnew!

Joe pretty much had EVERYTHING I like about yanderes:  the stalking and manipulation, the doting anddoing what’s best for the S/O, and of course, the dangerous moments.  We got tosee the full package with Joe.  There’sonly one flaw with his character as a yandere (not necessarily as a person)that you could pick out.  I likedeverything else so much though that while I don’t like this one inconsistencythat you don’t really expect a yandere to do, everything else about him pullshim together really well as a yandere.  Honestly,even if the guy WASN’T a yandere, he actually is an enjoyable character on hisown.  That’s a VERY good sign that acharacter has been developed well.  Theyandere side is fun, but if you’re able to show there’s more to the characterthan that, it’s perfect!

Now that being said, while Joe is incredibly enjoyable,almost all the other characters in the show are awful.  The characters I liked besides him were thispoor kid named Paco and one girl named Karen.  Aside from that…they’re all seriously flawed,including the S/O Beck.  Withoutspoiling, she could have had a huge character growth after the middle of theseries.  She wasn’t great at the start,but I could find excuses as to why that is. But after the middle, she shows a HUGE regression of her character.  It put me in an interesting situation where Iwas completely rooting for Joe and almost wouldn’t have cared what happened toBeck at all.  And Joe isn’t completelyharmless either.  Beck is just that badXD

I was kind of hoping that this was a brand new experiment byLifetime.  I thought they had made theseries themselves.  But it is actuallybased off a book someone told me.  Thereare a few differences between the series and the book.  Still, feels kind of natural that Lifetimewould pick up this kind of story.

Remember, I don’t really have a high bar set for Lifetimemovies in general.  They’re like myguilty pleasure.  So while a lot of theother characters dragged the story down a lot, at least I found the yandere tohave far exceeded my expectations. This entire story is heavily characterdriven.  No big events really that movethe story along other than how the characters interact with one another.

If someone’s got the tolerance either for Lifetime movies,or can stomach some bad characters (and possibly bad story) just to get aREALLY good look at a well-developed yandere that could stand alone ascharacter even without those traits…I recommend it.

I also recommend if you haven’t seen it yet to check out @thatyanderecritic‘s review on the TV series.  I was actually chatting with one of bloggers prior to when their review cameout, so we agreed on a lot of the same stuff with the series. They do have a few more spoilers there, but their reviews are reallygood.

[whitewatersanctuary]

Meet the Staff!

Considering the fact that the sanctuary now has a physical outlet (even if it's just through media), there was overwhelming agreement on the idea of collaborating to create an introductory post on us, the staff! This post will include the staffmember responsible for the blog (myself) as well as my assistance spirits (who would be considered staff under our local astral jurisdiction), primary staffmembers at our astral location, and permanent residents living with us!

Blog Mod

I struggle to talk about myself as I'm honestly not very interesting, but when we first opened I remember getting handfuls of asks directed at me in particular so it shouldn't do much harm introducing myself like everyone else here! Let's try a little third person number real quick:

Nen (they/them), the blog mod and founder of our sanctuaries! They're still trying to recover from a recent incident and settle in at the moment, but once that's over with they'll be up to all kinds of trouble. Exploring the realm the sanctuary is settled on, fielding more transient visitors, and providing more discreet services for those in need, among other things. They can be found working when they're not supposed to, cooking for the staff, and squinting out the windows despite their overall lack of sight.

Assistance Spirits

As of writing this I now have multiple assistance spirits, which is very exciting for me! For those who may not have encountered any while travelling before, an assistance spirit is an entity trained to assist their disabled keeper in order to restore independence in daily life. They're absolutely wonderful, and it makes my heart happy to know we've provided those in need with their own as well! Without further ado:

Asim (he/him), my love. My life. I love this dog. I love you, dog!!! Asim is a Primary Anubian Hound, standing four feet at the shoulder and jet black with the whitest teeth you've ever seen. He feels like crushed velvet and has never led me astray. Asim was a gift from a close friend and has been serving me so faithfully since Rain (my previous assistance spirit) retired. He's an amazing soul and I am planning something special for him soon!

Kapu (she/her), brand new to the team and absolutely stunning. A Celestial Falcon, white as the glimmering haze off sun bleached sand. A gift from another close friend, I will soon be training to be able to use her spectacular sight for myself! She's been so patient despite her playful and snippy attitude, and I'm so glad to have her.

Astral Staff

Among the staff of White Water we have a good many gems, some preferring not to be mentioned and others just fine. Of those willing to put themselves out there, we have...

Lor (she/her), our head healer and poison control link! Very important in the desert, especially now that we're aware of just how dangerous this particular one can be. Lor is a tough and take no shit kind of character, which only really ends in others getting in trouble with her than the other way around. Her own spirit companions are pretty traditional for her position: a Root Serpent and Divine Scorpion. She arrived into the sanctuary's service before Riy and Lai but is of the same species and home they fled from, and she has her own side thing to make sure no others end up in that situation. She's a sturdy and stern figure, covered head to toe in spelled tattoos, and prefers to keep her hair in a tight and slick updo.

Riy (she/they), a wonderful healer in her own right. Riy is Lai's best friend, and was sent from their home to stay with her. She prefers to work on rehabilitation and therapy, but isn't opposed to helping with Lai's work now and again. Riy has their own spirit companions, a familiar rooster and a Sunspinner, who are both frequent visitors. They're taller than Lai, with silky reddish hair they like wearing in braids, and generally adorned with hair weights or rings. She surprisingly gets along well with Fog and several other kitsune residents.

Lai (she/her), one of the most skilled healers around! Despite her people being known for their poisons and baneful workings, Lai uses these skills to retrace any ill effective gunk stuck to those that fall into her hands (including me, sorry Lai). She's reserved, but working on being less quiet now that she's in a secure and safe spot. She's willowy and slim, with beautiful inky tattoos winding themselves around her. Her eyes are reportedly a solid silvery grey, and her hair is sleek, long, and black. I've heard Mist gets along well with her!

Tyj (they/them), our head of security and honourary greeter. Tyj is wonderfully strong and intimidating, but also extremely friendly and overall fun to be around. She's often keeping residents company and tinkering with new defenses, but can also occasionally be found tending the gardens. She's tall, muscular, and relatively reptilian in nature, and is never without her choice black lipstick. Her spiralled horns are usually decorated as well, and she enjoys painting her scales and stones as a pastime.

First Residents

Permanent inhabitants of the sanctuary, whether by need or choice, are referred to as residents! Our residents vary from those who may offer their own services or help out around the sanctuary as honorary staff, to beings fleeing awful situations in need of home or respite. Whatever the need, we are always here for our residents, and go to tremendous lengths to protect and serve them. Some permanent residents that are happy to identify themselves here include:

Mist (she/her), one of our first permanent residents and helpers! Mist is a lovely kitsune with a bubbly disposition and a heart of gold. She's compassionate and fun loving, and definitely on the capricious side! She enjoys various activities and work around the sanctuary, with running messages and ordering food to the staff room being her top favourites. Those who have been with us from the beginning will likely remember her- if you see her around, feel free to say hi!

Fog (he/him), Mist's bonded partner and another one of our oldest residents and allies! Fog is quite a bit more gruff than his cheery counterpart, preferring to stay inside lounging than to be running around everywhere. He originally came to us in quite a state, but was recently completely cleared to leave our original site and move out here with us all. Being somewhat ornery, he is often found curled up in a mass at the front desk or sprawled on top of the fridge in the staff room. The only time he really leaves is to accompany and protect Mist on her lengthier excursions.

And that's it for now!

As stated in the beginning of the post, this isn't everyone– rather, just a simple introduction everyone's collaborated on. After looking at this wall of text in post I've decided it needed some images to break it up, so included are a mandatory picrew (because this is, in fact, Tumblr) as well as some photos the entities involved in creating this chose. Still, we made it through and this is the result. It's been a pretty good little project to work on while recovering and I'm excited to get around to more fun little posts!

[cellsshapedlikestars]

any thoughts/comments on hair dye? i'm a newbie and all my knowledge comes from youtube LOL. i know arctic fox is bad?? ngl i only like good dye young because of hayley williams but yeah i'd love to hear your thoughts on hair dye!

I'll be honest, the most research I ever did for my hair was before the first time I bleached it . Most of the time I just kind of... go for it

So *warning!* I am not a professional and please also know that I give very little fucks about what I look like and am not afraid of trying whatever I want with my hair.

Also, cause it does make a difference in hair care, I am white. This means that I have only ever done things to white people hair and have *absolutely* no knowledge of any other kind of hair except my own, which is semi curly/wavy, thin stranded but a decent amount of it, and fairly healthy to begin with (though I've been dying it since I was 15). Also, I am naturally a dirty blonde so my hair is somewhat light to begin with.

Below the cut for completely non-professional hair dye advice!

SEMI-PERMANENT/PASTEL DYES:

I'm not sure what you mean by Arctic Fox is bad - I've actually used them and so far they're one of the best, so I'm guessing it has something to do with the company itself that I haven't heard about? I really like their colors, it smells good, and it's not crazy overpriced. The other brand I like is One n Only Argan Oil - that's what I first started using when doing pastels. A popular brand (at least here in the US and specifically at Sally's where I shop) is Ion. I'm not a fan, I found the color weak and faded really quick. I just bought this unicorn color today because it looked pretty, so we'll see how that goes.

These are just the non-permanents that I use for pastels/non traditional colors. They don't hurt your hair so honestly, pick one up and slap it on and the worst it'll do is nothing!

You can also leave this stuff on your hair forever. Usually the longer you go, the brighter it will be. You can also cut the brightness by adding plain, white conditioner (don’t fall for the hair dye company tricks! You don’t need their “diluter”. Just use conditioner!)

PERMANENT DYE:

Permanent dye is a whole other thing, so if you want that, make sure you read the box and get the appropriate developer! Or, you could use a box dye from the grocery store. I may be a pretentious little shit about my hair dyes now, but I used box dye for YEARS when I was dying it red. If you want a straight, traditional color that you don’t have to think about, box is your way to go. A beauty store will have colors that you need to measure and add developer to. It’s more intense, but you can also mix and match!

BLEACH:

If you're going to bleach, be careful! If your hair is very dark and you're trying to go pastel, I wouldn't recommend doing it at home. Also, if you have pre-box dyed hair, bleach might react weird (hello me trying to bleach box red dye out of my hair...). I would specifically not recommend trying to bleach over dyed black hair.

If your hair is lighter, or has already been bleached and you wanna go even lighter, I would recommend starting with a bleach bath, which is the bleach, developer, and shampoo. It's a lot less harsh. (Google for the ratios!)

For example, I did a bleach wash today! I don't have examples of my before color this time, but I've used them in the past to do this:

(this is taking out pink dye from my hair a while ago, though it had already faded a lot, you can sort of see where my roots are, they’re more yellow. You can see the pink isn't completely gone, but my hair also isn't fried.)

Also, if you’re leaving your hair bleached and not dying over it, don’t forget toner! And even if you are dying over it and your bleached hair is very yellow, you may want to tone anyway just to get some of the brassiness out, so it doesn’t come through your dye.

SUPPLIES:

I can't recommend a measured mixing bowl enough, though you can always use a food scale if you have it. Gloves, too. I've recently decided to use them (for a few years I just walked around with pink or blue or purple hands for a few days after...). I know professionals use those brushes to put dye on your hair but... honestly I just use my hands

And then, of course, make sure you repair some of the damage you've done! You can't get real olaplex at home, but I do these Aphogee two step treatments. They're honestly a pain in the ass to use, but they work.

OTHER RANDOM ADVICE?:

- it’s always easier to section your hair! Put it up and do your under layers first, then work your way to your crown

-nail polish remover is great at getting out dye stains. From countertops, sinks, the floor, cabinets, the wall behind you somehow, your own skin...

-you always need more dye than you think you do. Always overshoot, the last thing you need is to run out halfway through, especially with permanents.

-taking out color: you can do this with semi-permanents with a cleansing shampoo (I use Redken) mixed with either crushed up vitamin c or baking soda. Less harsh than bleach or color stripper

-speaking of taking out color, blues are always harder to remove than reds. As I am currently dealing with. I knew better, and yet I chose to dye it blue, then purple anyway...

.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG AND AGAIN, I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL. I have just been fucking up my hair for years at this point and this is the little I’ve learned along the way.

Honestly, if you have a specific question of something you’d like to do, you can message me and I’ll try to give advice! But without knowing what you’re looking for, this is all generic. And if you were just looking at brands, well... I’m sorry if you read through the rest of this for nothing! Your answer is in the first paragraph lmao

[meowsaidmayaanime]

What I'm Watching September 2016 as of 9/27

Big Windup! 9/27

My girl friend and I have been watching this anime for the past month, since we only watch it together it took quite a wile to get through, but it was well worth it.

The anime follows a first year high school baseball pitcher, Mihashi, who joins his schools brand new team. Mihashi, because of his experiences with his middle school team, is significantly less than confident in not only his pitching but in his ability to make friends. He is very much a kid who suffers from severe anxiety, self worth, and some PTSD caused by bullying in middle school. Despite this he was convinced to join the baseball team at his new school and the rest of the series focuses on his relationship with his catcher, Abe, who recognizes that Mihashi has great talent and tries to get him to realize that, as well as his own self confidence and worth.

From the description above it makes the show seem rather dark and serious, but it is not whatsoever. Its a very light-hearted show, with its own unique brand of comedy. The English voice actors, while not so great at first, really grew on me and fit very well with their respective characters. In fact, now I can't see the characters being played by anyone else.

This anime definitely grew on me, especially after watching the teams first practice match in the first few episodes. It makes you feel for and understand Mihashi and Abe, and root for their relationship despite being so blatantly different. It very 'natural' too in the way that the characters interact with each other and especially how they respond to Mihashi's mental problems.

If your into sports anime, this one is wonderful. I've only seen the first season (25 episodes), and plan to continue watching. The only problem is that the second season is a half season (12 or 13 ep) and there is no word on whether or not the show will ever continue. By the look of the end of the first season, there is no way the show could be wrapped up in the second season. So if you do decide to watch it keep that in mind. When I finish the second season I will give you guys a little more info about it. But for now, I really love it. (and the facial expressions are great!!)

Silver Spoon 9/25

Silver Spoon is a semi-natural (but still mostly natural) anime about a boy who decided to go to a high school in the country focused on agriculture in order to get away from his parents home in the city. Upon arriving he finds that all his classmates attend the school because they grew up with the farm life. Being a city boy, he is thrown into the farm/agriculture classes learning about raising animals and growing crops.

I was a little skeptical going into this anime, but the moment I finished the first episode I realized that this would be an anime I would thoroughly enjoy and love. And I do!

Like many of my other favourite slice of life anime, I love this one because of the deep topics it explores and discuses. In here Haciken, the main character, struggles with not knowing who he is or what his dream for the future is, the stress and complications from his family, as well as dealing with issues regarding the animal industry. The first season primarily deals with Hachiken's struggle to decide where the line is drawn between a pet and livestock. Can he care for an animal, in this case a piglet, and then accept it when the animal goes to the slaughterhouse for food? That being just one example of the real-world struggles and debates that the anime discusses, and does so rather directly. hey do not beat around the bush with these topics which is great.

On top of discussing deep topics the anime is also rather hilarious often giving chances for comedy, as well as deep thought, interpersonal relationships between teachers, classmates, friends, families, and some mild romance.

I would highly recommend this to anyone who wants something more out of slice of life than just comedy or just school life. I would highly recommend you watch the first episode because you will know immediately whether you will like this anime or not.

Millennium Actress 9/19 re-watch

Millennium actress is a movie released in 2001 about a director who finally finds the actress he admired the most after decades of hiding. Chiyoko, now in her 70's, was famed in cinema from the 20s to maybe the 50s or 60s until she mysteriously vanished and became recluse at the height of her career. After finding a key that once belonged to chiyoko and finally finding her home, the director asks for an interview and the chance to return the key. The rest of the movie is about the actress recounting the tale of the key in question, explaining why it was so important to her and how it caused her to go into acting when she was young. Reality and the roles that she played in cinema merge and intertwine with her tale, as we watch her grow as an actress in the roles she played and the feelings/inner turmoil she experiences.

I had first watched this movie when I was much younger and first got into anime, so it must have been sometime between late elementary and middle school. Back then I thought the film was beautiful and amazing, but could not truly comprehend what it meant. I had re-watched it a few times to try to understand it, but I never did. At-least not until I re-watched nearly 8 years later. I understand it now, i completely understand it, its definitely a concept that is better understood by at least someone in their late teens who knows more about the struggles of constantly searching for someone. I won't say more here about it, but I will say that its a fascinating story.

What I love most about this film are the moments we see Chiyoko's films, most of what we see focuses on historical periods from a thousand years ago to the 50's. And there are a number of films she acts in that I would personally love to watch more of. Along with her recounting, the die hard fan director pops up and plays the other supporting roles he knows well from re-watching her films, giving a great bit of comedic relief. The only thing I didn't like was the filmography who accompanied the director, his presence was largely only comedic relief and i felt was mostly forced into the film.

Regardless, this is a great film, constantly filled with action, a little confusion, mystery, drama, and romance. It's a more serious film better suited for adults and young adults simply because of the overarching theme/concept the film focuses and relies on to tell the story. As I have before, I would definitely watch it again.

Shirobako 9/14

This is an incredibly meta and 'natural' anime. It begins with 5 high school girls creating an animated short film for their anime club. Each of the girls has a passion for the different parts that goes towards making an anime, production, writing, animating, art, and voice acting. They promise that in the future they will make their high school production a reality. Jump forward a few years, and most of the main characters are out of collage and fresh in their new jobs. The show takes over following one of the girls, Aoi Miyamori, who joins a production studio as a production assistant. We watch her go through the stress and struggle of dealing with the numerous people working on the project, deadlines, and life in the industry. We also watch how the other four girls are doing with their careers.

Overall its a very good story about being young post graduation individuals trying to discover their dreams, make their dreams a reality, and struggle with figuring out if what your doing is not only right for you, but feasible at all.  As a senior in college and being only 2 years younger than the main character (I am currently 21 and the five characters are 22-23) I can really understand what they are going through having struggled with the question of what I want to do, study, and whether its the right choice for me.

It's an incredibly good young adult story. A large portion of the characters are well rounded and different (there is a huge cast because we meet nearly every employee), and no one falls even 90% into one particular archetype, but rather feels like a real person. In terms of how accurate to a Japanese production studio it is, I can't say for sure considering I've never worked in the industry. However I will go on a limb to say that a production company who writes a story about their own business would be pretty accurate. And from an outsiders point of view, it feels very accurate.

I wholeheartedly recommend this anime. Especially if you like slice of life that is 'natural', focuses more on real life scenarios, and for once does not take place in school, but focuses on adults and the adult life.

10/10 would watch again and recommend. In fact I've already convinced a friend to watch it and after the first episode was hooked~

I Can't Understand What My Husband is Saying 9/13

This is a cute 3 minute, 26 episode series. It follows the daily home life of an otaku husband (verging on, if not already a NEET), and his wife who is not interested in anime or manga. It's interesting seeing how they make their relationship work together despite the lack of understanding between each other on the topic of the husbands large obsession of anime and manga (as well as his no will to work.) It's a cute series, and if you want a quick cute and funny watch this is a good one that you can blow through in an hour or two. Not the best short series out there, but still cute.

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club and Eternal Summer 9/11 re-watch

This really is an amazing series. I just finished and wow. Even when the giddy blindness that you get from a show after watching it for the first time has passed and your re-watching it with a clearer head sometimes shows turn out to be not as great as you first thought. This is not one of those shows. Yes there's a whole lot of fan service mainly with all the muscles, but it's still an incredible show, it still has an incredible story and character relation, and wow the second season is fabulous.

The show follows Haru and his friends as they start a swimming club and try to climb their way past their own limitations, strengthen and repair their bonds, fight their way to regional and national competitions, and in the second season struggle with their uncertainty towards the future.

Where the first season focuses more on the 'now' of making new friendships and rekindling old ones, the second season really is a coming of age/growing up story focusing on their future. As sappy as that might sound you don't even realize it until its all over. Hell, I didn't even realize it until someone mentioned it online and gave me that epiphany that I now see should have been pretty obvious.

Yeah, the character designs are not new, or innovative, or terribly complex at all, but they are characters that grow on you. As long as you can still love the characters, care about them, and watch them grow, then that's all you need. Couple that in with the uniqueness of the characters situations, the lighthearted comedy of the show, and the underlying messages that really do sneak up on you and you have one hell of a sports anime.

If you ever want to know where to start your sports anime obsession, start with Free! or even with its amazing parody 50% Off which got me obsessed with sports anime! Seriously this show is fantastic, 10/10 would watch again. Two seasons of 12 and 13 episodes, its a quick watch with a very good English dub~

(Speaking of sports anime, I started doing sports anime bingo recently and played it while re-watching this show. It took a while, but oh man did I hit bingo with Free!)

Natsume's Book of Friends Seasons 1-4 9/3 TOP PICK FOR THIS MONTH!!

This is an incredibly adorable show. Its heartwarming and has a 'feel good' movie feel to it. If anything taking into account the art style and how good it makes you feel it reminds me a lot of Fruits Basket. Don't get me wrong, its nothing like Fruits Basket in terms of story, but its got the same 'feel'.... if that makes sense.

Anyway, the premise is that Natsume is the only one able to see yokai (Japanese monsters/spirits/gods). After moving into a new town with some distant relatives, Natsume finds out that is deceased grandmother could also see yokai and made quite the reputation among them. She would take the names of local yokai and put it into a book called the book of friends, with their names she could control the yokai. Now yokai are coming after Natsume either to ask him to return their names or to take the book of friends for themselves.

The majority of the show is about Natsume steadily coming to understand both humans and yokai more clearly than he has before. Making friends, learning about the lives of others, learning about his grandmother, and finding out what it really means to be apart of a family and not be ostracized by others because of his ability.

This show is wonderful, its not as gripping or super emotion/action driven as some other shows are, but its very well done. The character are great, the stories are so heartwarming, and it breaks a number of the stereotypical cliches that are often found with anime about a character who can see something that others cannot. An example that I particularly love is how other characters who come into the mix who are also able to see yokai are not automatically 'evil' or an antagonist. So rather than causing mroe trouble for Natsume from the 'get go' they are actually there to help develop him into a better character. Which I love~ Any actual antagonist that shows up are antagonists for a real reason, rather than just for the purpose of having one.

If your into exorcism anime or anime that focuses on traditional Japanese monsters/spirits/gods you will love this one. It is slower paced and focuses more on story than action so keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that there are only 4 season out right now as of this post. Season 5 will be coming out with this falls simulcasts and I'm super excited for it~