#nuls nonsense

[cherrirui-official]

I need you guys to understand me when I say that this is literally just Friday Night Funkin'

[eurovision-revisited]

Stockholm 2000: Televoting

Time for a controversial take. 2000 is the year that Eurovision was sabotaged. Not by the delegations or broadcasters. Not by the EBU and their decisions. Not by the organisers nor the acts, nor even the commentators. But by Eurovision fans and voters themselves. Their conservatism led to them clinging to the old school when they had all manner of wonderful other songs to pick from both in the national finals and at Eurovision itself.

Maybe the EBU was trying to change things too quickly. Trying to evolve the competition to more readily align with what was going on in European popular music culture was always going to need the fans to be on board. But fans cling to what they know - trying to change that is like trying to change the direction of an oil tanker. It takes time. This was the year that tension snapped.

None of the best efforts of the delegations paid off. The final itself was full of safe, unchallenging songs, and a very safe song won by a surprisingly big margin. The televote was laser focussed on a small number of songs across Europe. Two songs would have received nul points if it wasn't for those countries using juries. Another would have received only a single point. The shock of 2021 nearly happened 21 years earlier.

Another factor uniting several of the successful songs this year was gimmicks. Denmark had a vocoder. Latvia had abundant quirk, Germany had the super sack of German TV, a hypeman and lyrical nonsense. All of these grabbed the attention and the appeal to the proto-meme crowd drew votes. They all got reasonable draws too.

Abetting this reluctance to vote for different things was a structural problem. When the voting in the national finals is comprised of a proportion of jury votes and another proportion of televotes (and perhaps more groups of votes), there often exists the situation where the opinion of the juries and the public is divided. This gives rise to the possibility for a third song to emerge as the winner. Typically a compromise song without anything notably good about it, but at least it's not that other song. The vanilla compromise.

In the final itself, there were still the same factors affecting the televote as previous years. There were six juries this year because of combination of phone network issues and the tragedy in the Netherlands leading to Eurovision being taken off-air halfway through. A quarter of all the votes came from juries in this era of 100% televotes.

Again there were jury favourites and televote favourites. Markedly so. If it hadn't been for the juries, both Belgium and France would have received nul points. Switzerland would have only got a single point. 72% of Romania's points came from juries. Croatia finished 9th overall but received more than 50% of their points from the six juries. In fact Croatia was the joint jury winner alongside Denmark. Estonia finished 4th and nearly half of their points also came from the six juries. In a shocking display of sanity from the televote, the juries also gave Macedonia most of their points too, and that's despite one of the juries being Macedonian and therefore unable to vote for their own act.

On the flipside, the televote strongly favoured Latvia, Russia, the Netherlands and Ireland, each getting 85% for more of their points from the televote. In the case of Latvia, they got 128 points from the televote and 8 from the juries, and for Russia 139 points from the televote and only 19 from juries.

The overall winner was both the televote and (joint) jury winner so there was no controversy on that count. There was a bias in both the jury vote and the televote for the second half of the contest again, with the televote being more biased once more. The running order continues to be problematic.

[elthadriel]

Fanfic ask meme: NUL?

Hi!

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Someone please come and take the poly nonsense AU off me. I love it so much but I just keep having to put it down for other projects.

But I've also managed to offload one of my codyfox ideas onto @the-bees-patella so I think I'm winning. Now they can not write it instead of me not writing it.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

This took me a couple of attempts because I picked a ship and then realised I'd filled a short prompt for them 😅

So how about Fives/Tup.

L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?

Honestly, probably the AU where Cody and Fox are dating and both sugar babies to other people. They use competing to see who can wring the most money out of the men they're dating as a weird foreplay. And for extra spice, literally everyone in this AU is a terrible person, but Cody and Fox are winning at it.

I will never write this, but it brings me great joy to imagine other shitty things the pair of them can get up to.

[beloved-death]

Nul would be really at home in the Pikmin world. Just sitting there enjoying nature or leading an army of Pikmin to engage in shenanigans across the forest.

There would be no nonsense or responsibilities weighing him down just the peace of a silent world.

[arcticdementor]

I was a pre-teen in the seventies, which means that long before I hit the jaded age of fourteen when older men tried to use it to get me to peel off clothes, I was used to hearing “we’re all naked under clothes.” (Later on I greatly regretted most of these idiots hadn’t read Heinlein so I couldn’t say “nul program.” So instead I had to say things like “We’re also all clean under our dirt, so I see you don’t intend to shower ever again.”)

There were other just as crazy aphorisms that passed for “deep thought.” I’m honestly not sure what caused this, whether it was more people than ever being pushed to higher ed they weren’t really qualified for, but that made them want to sound “intellectual” or that the Soviets were diligently working with their wrenches to take apart the ability to think of the new generation. Or perhaps for whatever reason mass media and TV just encouraged a ridiculous wave of aphorisms that not only didn’t mean much but that aimed to destroy rather than build habits, patterns and ways of life that led to success.

You know, crazy stuff like “What difference does a piece of paper make to whether we’re married?” (Other than meeting potential obligations to potential children, and getting the buy in of both sets of inlaws and recognition of society that protects well…. mostly the woman who puts more biological investment in the relationship, none, really.) And “If it feels good do it!” and– Well, a lot of you are old enough to have heard all this cr*p growing up. And the younger ones, trust me, the current spate of crazy is well anchored in a barrage of crazy — to my certain knowledge — from the sixties and seventies.

I fell for some of them too. The unflappable Miss Almeida was not unflappable when this stuff came at her from someone she respected. So for a long time I bought my brother’s “romance is the opium of womanhood” long before I realized where the origin of that nugget came from, or that my brother — never having been a woman — was in fact assuming that without having romantic notions to encourage her to care about attachment and feelings, young women would be as “free” and sexually available as men wish they’d be. Of course now we know that’s the rankest and most absolute bull excreta, and that in fact women have — surprise! It’s not like we evolved to be the caretakers of children or anything — a different set of sex related hormones that encourage attachment to sexual partners and incidentally children.

But the excreta of “pseudo-profound-social statements is now everywhere, and yesterday I was hit in close proximity by two bits of crazy. And suddenly it hit me “And what is the alternative, precisely?”

…

Look, all of human civilization has been an attempt to suppress inter-personal violence, or at least keep it within bounds that don’t prevent us from assembling in numbers larger than clan or tribe. Almost any reading of the records of older cities will quickly come to the conclusion that people used to be a lot more interpersonally violent. They just were. Even in early modern England, well…. Let’s say men died young because they fought over the most stupid things.

And that was already a state-nation, where people identified with the nation was though it were a race, and had not only forgotten their early tribal affiliations but their micro-kingdoms (the regional association, which given travel in that time probably had a lot of genetic backing) before it was unified into “England.” So the fights were rarely tribal or regional (though there were family feuds.)

…

But we are built on a template of great apes, and the remains we find of hominins and other man-tribes show that their lifestyle was in fact close to that of great apes everywhere. And do you know what you call a baby chimp found by a genetically unrelated band? Snack.

So, sure, let’s assume that education — public or not — is a way for a culturally dominant “elite” to suppress generalized violence.

What is the alternative?

The left is assuming violence is justified and on their side, because of course their idea of social dominance, and the model they implement is to take control and rob everyone. But throughout history they are an exception, in fact. Even the “bad old kings” were trying to do the best they could for their tribe or micro nation. They often screwed up and followed their own desires, because human, but the idea of noblesse oblige is very very old in humanity. And most people at least try (Unless they’re all ‘et up with Marxism and self-righteousness, because bullsh*t means never having to say you’re sorry.)

Instead let’s look at it as meaning what it says “education” (by which we can mean everything we do to tame the toddler-beast and up through specific knowledge of how to get ahead in life) is a way to suppress inter-personal violence.

Well, yes. And we’re all naked under our clothes. And wearing clothes isn’t natural, maaaaan.

But what is the alternative? The civilizational process of mankind, from band to clan, from clan to city, from city to nation, accomplishing things that could only be accomplished by many people cooperating without violence is a process of suppressing unnecessary violence and waste of human life.

…

In the same way, later, while doing my instapundit link rounds, I saw an article about how 2 + 2 is colonial thinking imposed on non-white populations, and are alien and evil, compared to their native ways of knowing.

After I got my eyes from under the sofa, I took a deep breath and asked “What’s the alternative?”

Because, you know, I’ve heard this before, but I never thought about precisely what their nonsense would entail.

Sure, we’re giving up the internal combustion engine, bridges, anything better built than a hut made of rough stones, and probably — let’s be honest — crops. The horrendous thing is that this might be completely acceptable to them, since they don’t realize what supports their ability to live in relative comfort.

Let’s instead explore what this means at the interpersonal level and how much eschewing simple math would make living with other human beings impossible.

…

Humans have partly got this far, and now enjoy untold prosperity which had practically eliminated famine (until of course the covidiocy starved the third world) because “colonial thinking” defeated that of isolated tribes.

Or perhaps more cogently: those who won a clash between two populations generally (there are exceptions, like Greece and Rome and to an extent India and Great Britain, and perhaps to an extent America and Japan) imposed their mode of life on the defeated. Though they might culturally appropriate that which was worthy in the culture of the defeated.

…

Is 2 +2 a colonial way of thinking? Oh, probably. But that was probably way back when the colonization of the homo sap by the Neanderthal (culturally, that is. Well, that seems to have been the direction) occurred, because we have trade going that far back, and trade can’t survive without counting.

In fact, even though the concept of zero is also fairly sophisticated, we’ve come across very few tribes that don’t have a concept of counting, or a concept of numbers over 5, and those are usually highly isolated and tiny tribes. Because arithmetic is a darn useful skill, as is everything we’ve built on it from accounting to architecture.

And what’s the alternative? People walking around “Sensing” the numbers? Be real. That’s not native to anyone but the crazier tribes of Homos New Agicus, a tribe who uses cannabis in such vast quantities they’re sure to become extinct.

The alternative is never “death or cake.”

When idiots run around with blunt aphorisms, demanding you dismantle civilization, ask them what their alternative is. And stop them when they start talking of rainbows and unicorn farts, and ask them the exchange rate of the unicorn fart to the rainbow. Because if it’s a civilization, we have to know.

You want to eschew controls over violence? Basic arithmetic? Clothes?

Well, sure. I believe you’re ultimately free to do what you want, as long as you pay the price.

You’re free to take all your clothes off, and take off to the forest with your buddies, where you can live as though 2 plus 2 equals 20, or potato, or chicken.

We don’t care. Heck, you probably won’t live long, but if you do, you’ll be a fascinating ethnology-experiment.

What you won’t be and can’t be is able to shame us out of living our lives as civilized human beings, who have enough to eat and can trade a known quantity for a known quantity. Because you know, there really is no alternative. Not an alternative that allows humanity to survive.

And if you hate humanity enough you don’t want us to survive, I have an easy solution: You go first. After which the existence or non-existence of humanity stops being your problem.

[an-ordinary-roach]

Nul shape shifts into a Bor lookalike, how much nonsense ensues?

A BUNCH, NOT TO MENTION THEY GOT THEIR INTRUSION TO MAKE IT EVEN MORE CONFUSING??

Bor would try to convince Nul to pester Kira- It isn't agreed upon at first so the two just stick to messing with a bunch of friends of each others with high-tier memes and pranks. Maybe even spooking a little but nothing too heart-stoppy cuz both of them wouldn't want Nul to have extra work on his downtime. Sometimes Bor would shift to their glamored-fae form to mess with humans saying they're here for the twin discount of anything they have in store. Sometimes bor would shift to see how fast Nul copied them and it'll go on till they stopped at roachie again! By day's end, Bor with enough urging got Nul to play along with Pestering Kira. And well... ... He already knew- And caused a mini chaos dunk on the real plague demon!

[thegoodomensdumpster]

I WATCHED GOOD OMENS IN FRENCH SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

and it wasn’t that bad. Here are my thoughts, barely edited as I wrote most of them while watching the show.

EP 1

OK i like god’s voice so far

possibilité d’embarras gastrique is a good formulation, I wonder if it’s the same in the book ( I think I kinda need to read it in french now...)

aghghdhgs « primo-délinquants »

of course subtitles don’t match the audio for a variety of technical reasons but when you get things that have very different underlying meanings i find it… not good This one about Crowley being evil / a demon : subtitles : « c’est ton travail » - « it’s your job » audio : « c’est dans ta nature » - « it’s in your nature » i mean dang

crowley sounds like a little shit asking az about his sword

« T’AS FAIT QUOUA » - he just loses his shit (kinda giving me some le coeur a ses raisons vibe)

ok crowley sounds very nerdy when he tries to explain that he took down the phone network, i think i actually like this voice acting

ligur sounds… very suave (im a little ill at ease)

crowley getting called mon chou by satan freddie mercury is a thumb up from me

i see the part where aziraphale speaks japanese wasn’t dubbed over and we can still hear michael sheen. it’s a bit disturbing considering french aziraphale has a higher pitched voice (and he sounds soooo much more anxious than sheen, give this angel a xanax )

“sandwich bœuf cresson” ( beef and cress sandwich ) deirdre really who makes this kind of sandwiches

im being reminded that the chattering nuns prepared little cut outs for their explanation about the antichrist switch… such dedication to useless crafts (it made me laugh on my first viewing and it’s still funny to imagine that some of them either ordered or built these things themselves just so they could make this two minutes long presentation for the most important act of their satanic nun careers)

retire-toi vil démon infernal, créature des abysses XD i swear az doesn’t sound even remotely convinced when he is saying the « get thee behind me foul fiend » line in french, it’s just too over the top for credibility, it sounds like it’s straight out of some super intense dnd session

they still can’t say bouillabaisse (which, like, weird because french, but still valid). nice touch is crowley couldn’t say soupe de poisson (fish stew) either and said poupe de soisson (sish ftew)

warlock mah boy how can you be a teenager and not like dinosaurs

c’est un dinosaure un nullosaure plutôt - apply burn heal

La façon dont warlock s’est exclamé « C’EST NUL » m’a fait penser au nain de naheulbeuk

the english version has nothing on french speaking aziraphale for the second hand embarrassement during the magic tour. it’s over 9000 i literally hid my head in my jumper when he was presenting harry the bunny. Horrible experience, 0/20, would not recommend

EP 2

oooh agnes has a lovely voice !

why is young newton having such a quality dub for the three sentences he has to say

dick turpin’s name is jesse james (tbf dick turpin is not known AT ALL in france, i discovered him reading good omens)

shadwell is pure chaos (as expected). No particular accent for him though, the chaotic energy was probably enough. Would have made me laugh if he had like, a chti or a marseilles accent.

aziraphale is so fucking stressed out by crowley’s driving i thought he was gonna explode

« tu es un gentil garçon » => « you’re a nice boy » said az to crowley DANG THAT’S SO INFANTILIZING AZIRAPHALE YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEMON FROM HELL NOT TO PINOCCHIO

ARGH FIRST MON ANGE OF THE SERIES i’m hit straight in the heart

anathema’s mom doesn’t have a spanish / latino accent at all when talking in spanish…. why...

dog being called toutou is definitely adorable (it’s basically « doggy » but way cuter imo)

tickety-boo has become ça gaze. that’s valid. it’s corny but i still use it unironically from time to time so ... i stan

EP 3

« je répands la fomentation » « i’m here spreading foment » « quoi tu fais des crêpes au froment ?????? »  « what you’re making crêpes with wheat ??? » love the fact that we shoehorned in one more ref to crêpes

az called crowley mon cher camarade, unintentionnal communist propaganda ftw

« pas de repos pour les… bah, pour les bons » « no rest for the… good »  – az was so deflated about the ineptitude he realized he was saying, he felt zero percent commited to his sentence

i was wondering how they would play aziraphale not being able to speak french in the bastille and they opted to have him stutter a bit and say to his executionner « excuse me i’m anxious » XD

« vous êtes le 999e aristo à mourir par mes soins. Mais vous êtes le premier en costume beige » « you’re the 999th aristocrat I’m going to kill, but the first one in beige attire » yeah i guess now that az isn’t english anymore his most noticeable feature is his cream aesthetic

« c’est au cas où ça tournerait en eau de boudin » « j’ADORE le boudin » => « in case it all goes pear shape » - the literal translation featuring food in french is « turning into black sausage water ». I don’t know what pear shaped inspires to english native speakers but the mere mention of boudin always make me giggle, it’s such a funny word and such a funny food

OH !!! no terrence rampa for the tv series, we’ve got anthony J. rampa. Rip terrence petit démon parti trop tôt :’(

« tu roules trop vite pour moi rampa » SERIOUSLY i know we can still infer « rouler » (here as in driving, but literally rolling) as a metaphor for their relationship but you could have said TU VAS TROP VITE that would have been so much better argh

has anathema got an emergency stock of potteries to break in case of emotionnal crisis ?

« Rampa, un démon très futé, il m’oblige à redoubler d’effort » « crowley, a very clever demon, he forces me to make double the amount of effort » oh so admitting you’re making an effort there aziraphale ? :))))))

dang i really want to know how shadwell said that major milk bottle died because not only did he die in combat but aziraphale’s reaction is a bit intense, it must have been quite a tale (this could be a crack fic prompt : «The Epic Tale of the Death Of Major Witchfinder Milk Bottle, by Sargent Witchfinder Shadwell» )

des sorcières et des phénomènes sorciéreux x)

CROWLEY CALLED AZIRAPHALE DUCON ?????? EXCUSE ME ????? #NotMyCrowley #CrowleyWouldNeverDoThat  #CancelAnthonyJRampa2K20  => ducon would be an insult, the gathering of du and con, con being a very nasty but common swear word, and associating it with du- makes it extremely patronizing. it’s like « absolute pathetic digraceful moron +++ ». thanks i hate it *frowny face *

EP 4

l’apocalypse c’est pour aujourd’hui juste après le goûter : it could be translated as « apocalypse is scheduled for today right after tea time » except that « goûter » is not quite tea time but rather the little sugary snack kids take when they come back from school and that most adults drop out of (i haven’t and i’m sure az hasn’t either). thanks aziraphale for having exclusively food related notion of the time because tbh same

ligur has no right to be this sexy between ariyon bakare and his french voice actor that’s just not allowed

radio crowley’s voice vs french ligur’s voice, who has the sexiest voice : FIGHT

(jk french agnes nutter’s voice is by far the sexiest)

gender neutral doesn’t ‘quite’ exist in french but pollution has been assigned a female voice actress and masculine pronouns (i’m saying it doesn’t quite exist because officially we have no gender neutral, but it’s a serious wip among lgbt+ circles to the point where it’s started being used in a few medias)

hastur « en attendant qu’un plombier vienne » / « while waiting for a plumber to come » does hell have a special plumber unit or do demons have to call on human plumbers for their pipes damages ? Dang hastur having to call a human plumber for hell’s plumbery is another damn good writing prompt for a crack fic

Michael is called Michel in the subtitles but Michael in the audio *shrug emoji*

EP 5 

to get a wiggle on has become « il faut qu’on se remue les fesses », literally « we need to shake our butts » like, yes, se remuer les fesses is a common expression to say « we need to act in order to get things done » but it really casts the image of people shaking their booty to some music and obviously crowley thinks the same Weirdly enough I have almost nothing to say for that episode. Sorry. But we’ve discovered most voice actors and actresses so far and no bit of dialogue really struck me as worth discussing or pointing fingers to mock it.

EP 6 

« on va BROUTER quelques derrières » - « we’re gonna lick some butts » OK THIS IS UNQUESTIONNABLY FAR SUPERIOR IN FRENCH THAN IN ENGLISH you thought LICKING butts was good ??? you really thought that ???? AZIRAPHALE HERE SUGGESTS TO GRAZE BUTTS. TO NIBBLE THEM. TO EAT THEM. TO. MUNCH. ON. THOSE. BUTTS!!!! not just licking, guys. This is as serious step beyond licking. (oh yeah he should have said « botter » instead of brouter btw, which is really just kicking, fyi)

« moi je crois en la paix, pétasse ! » wow, language, pepper (fyi i think « pétasse » is far far worse than « bitch » even if it means roughly the same, pétasse is almost never used while bitch is rather common, so it’s a swear word +++)

Dagon sounds like she’s got a nasty cold. #GetDagonIbuprofen2K20

I can confirm that Crowley offers Aziraphale to not just stay at his place, but to move in with him. « tu peux t’installer chez moi si tu veux ». omg they were roommates.

Bad translation strikes again : i don’t know why, but the french dub doesn’t have the « tickety-boo » / « ça gaze » being referenced as Rampa / Aziraphale is being knocked down, which is… a real mistep. It was narratively significant and I’m quite mad the translators missed it.

The Jesse James explanation from Newt has become very nonsensical, instead of the neat and to the point pun « wherever I go I hold up trafic » we’re getting a circonvoluted « because it’s a crime to mechanic’s diligence ». I’m not judging that one too hard, I have no idea how to make it better, and that’s probably how it was translated in the book as well thirty years ago, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact. On the other hand, it definitely IS a very bad joke that doesn’t even deserve a chuckle, so Anathema’s embarassement really matches the audience’s (aka mine).

OVERALL :

I wasn’t convinced by Crowley… I mean, Rampa’s voice at first, but as the nerdiness showed up it really grew on me. I still think that french dubs have often problems with some voice inflexions every here and there, and for instance in Rampa’s case it was when he was annoyed or frustrated ( at the Globe when complaining about horses and Shakespeare’s plays that aren’t comedies, and also when discussing Azirphale’s magic tricks, it’s like… there is a step between having the right amount of grumpy complaining and overdoing it that is overlooked. It’s overacted, it should have been a bit quieter imo. I don’t mean to criticize voice actors too hard either but as an audience watching french dubs this is a very recurring problem and it always feels off to me. It’s actually one of the main reasons I avoid french dubs whenever possible.)

I have a hard time judging Aziraphale’s voice dub because it clashes so much with both the idea I had formed with it when I read the book and Sheen’s delivery that I just… kinda filtered it. It was too high pitched for me, and too anxious (though for this last point I must admit it could be funny at times, but I’m not fond of this character portrayal). The rest of the cast was rather good, nothing to complain about. There wasn’t anything stellar either, but everything that needed to be conveyed was and it was professionnal. It was also very homogeneous, no voice really struck me as being way too bad or way too good compared to the others, so it was really consistant.

So I don’t have much to complain about overall despite a few wonky translations here and there, BUT there is one thing I felt very robbed of : Crowley calling Aziraphale « mon ange » happens only once, when giving a lift to Anathema, and I’m almost certain they translated it that way because otherwise the joke about Anathama mistaking them for a couple wouldn’t work. So, they were forced to make it that way. The rest of the time Crowley calls Aziraphale « l’angelot », and despite being literally translated by « little angel », it feels sarcastic more than anything else ( the « L’ » in front of « angelot » is part of the reason why, it creates some distance, the other reason being that this word in itself has a very corny vibe and people being affectionnate to each other wouldn’t use it as a term of endearment). So, that’s a shame.

I like the English dub much much MUCH better than the French, but the french wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. The voice actors and actresses were quite good, the dialogues mostly faithful and endearing despite a few really missed steps. It really had its moments. Props to brouter des derrières, that one was fantastic.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#160-151)

(Author's note: Sorry about it being a couple of days late--I wanted to rest a bit--which I will do again because we hit the top 150--and had to download quite a bit for the gifs. Please enjoy this bunch, though!)

#160: Dihaj -- Skeletons (Azerbaijan 2017)

“When we hook up it’s fantasy We’re just like alchemy I’ve never been so ready”

I completely neglected Skeletons during the contest, as I didn't listen to it beforehand and didn't watch songs 12-17 when watching the grand final live. Along with "Grab the Moment" that year, it sandwiched a horrendous stretch of songs in #13-16.

Despite this, I listened to it a lot afterwards. It’s equal parts intriguing and mysterious, especially with the almost-nonsensical lyrics with interesting images. I always imagined a concept film in which the main character meets a potential love interest in a night club, only to go too far and almost kill him.

The atmosphere the staging created was a bit strange, in that it incorporates masks and a world inside a school chalkboard. For each of these aspects, Skeletons is my favorite Azeri entry ever—it stands out in a unique way because of its eccentricity.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 14th/26 GF in Kyiv

#159: Tommy Seebach -- Disco Tango (Denmark 1979)

“Hun er en stjerne på et dansegulv Slår John Travolta i en rock ‘n’ roll På diskoteket ta’r hun kegler, og der ka’ man se Dem stå i kø og skæve, hver gang hun gør sin entré”

“She’s a star on a dance floor Beats John Travolta in a rock ‘n’ roll At the disco she’s scoring, and there you see Them queue up with an eye on her, every time she enters”

Disco and tango are two genres you don’t expect to work together, despite them being so fun to dance to. Despite this, Tommy Seebach makes it sound natural. There’s a bit of adjustment needed when listening to it, but it’s equally flirty and groovy all at once, as one gets to know the many quirks of the song.

The live performance definitely elevates it--not only with Debbie Cameron's enthusiasm (she would come back two years later with Tommy in a bigger part), but also because of the orchestration. The mix with strings and castanets in the chorus was definitely the best part and gets me shaking.

It’s different for Denmark, but definitely a song you should put in a disco (*clap clap*) from time to time!

Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 6th/19 in Jerusalem

#158: Poli Genova -- If Love (Were) a Crime (Bulgaria 2016)

“Unafraid, never fade When it’s dark we illuminate”

Bulgaria’s comeback after a two-year hiatus sees them with a hyper energetic pop song with an uplifting message. While it seems like a simple one at first, the diverse Eurovision community can embrace it for its openness and determination. The great production upholds this gem, and the lighting on stage adds to it, especially in the end.

Poli definitely makes this song come to life with her vocals and her upbeat personality, making it shine even more! (And I did like her costume--not something for everyday-wear, but definitely one fitting the song and a bit avant--garde too). Compared to her first entry, which fights against those who put her down in a pop-rock way, she delivers with fun.

And they got their first qualification in nine years and a start to a nice run of entries as a result.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 4th/42 GF in Stockholm

#157: Athena -- For Real (Turkey 2004)

“All I know is you don’t want to be part of the crowd Realise yourself You say it but don’t feel it, what you sayin’ has no meanin’ Don’t hide your soul”

For their host entry, Turkey brings upon Athena, a ska-punk (and former metalcore) band with this bouncy song. And it’s such a great one—filled with energy and fun. A bit different from what we expect from Turkey, but it shows what their music industry could bring.

It's lively and fun, with Gokhan leading the charge with his presence. At times, he shouts more than he sings and it seems like he didn't dress up for a more formal event. That said, there's still a lot of charm in "For Real's" performance, ranging from the sharks in the background to the "Hi mom!" and the peace jacket. It comes along in an eccentric package, and makes for a solid predecessor to their rock-based entries four years later.

And it definitely hints at being oneself, which celebrates individuality in a fun way.

(Plus, that's the reason why my top three in 2004 isn't the actual top three. Haha)

Personal ranking: 3rd/36 Actual ranking: 4th/24 in Istanbul

#156: Katarína Hasprová - Modlitba (Slovakia 1998)

“Láska kráčam údolím sĺz A len ty môžeš zmierniť môj žiaľ Túžim sa dotknúť tvojich pier, tvojich rúk Prosím vráť sa mi, nevzdaj sa nás”

“Love, I am walking the valley of tears Only you can get me out of misery I long to touch your hands, your lips Please, come back, do not give up”

A comment on the interwebs suggested anybody who has Horehronie as their favorite Slovak entry has never listened to this. I could understand why people would gravitate towards the former, but this stands out more for me (and not just because of the religious title).

The introduction reminds me of “Kiss From a Rose”, which here, is less meant to be about plagiarism and more about the 1990s feel of it. Musically, it takes the same medieval elements from other 1990s entries, but it tells a different story, one about trying to fix a relationship on the rocks. It builds well, going from an otherwise delicate ballad to something more explosive when one gets into the chorus. The orchestration really helps it too!

Modlitba got six points from Croatia...and then nothing else. It's still a shame it did so poorly, but as a potential nul-pointer too? Sad.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 21st/25 in Birmingham

#155: Melovin -- Under the Ladder (Ukraine 2018)

“Nothing but your will sets you on fire Fire lasts forever...”

The song that inspired a fervor from Melovin’s fans, including me! While I’m not as enthusiastic as them, I still love this song—it's pulsating and intense, with quite interesting lyrics about getting up again(with some enunciation issues). There was a point where the song got a musical revamp, and I feared it would make the song worse, but fortunately it kept the whole thing intact with a few production changes.

Melovin proves he's a talented showman, and seeing the stairs go aflame made me smile (even though I preferred the effect more on his Vidbir performance; the flaming LEDs really helped there). Good thing the televote swooped in, because last place in the jury vote feels really wrong (though it could be because of said pronunciation).

Plus he has some good post-Eurovision songs—check them out! My favorite is З тобою, зі мною, і годі.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: 17th/26 GF in Lisbon

#154: Joci Papai -- Origo (Hungary 2017)

“Be kell csuknod a szemed Úgy láthatsz meg engemet Hogy meghódítsd a szívem Ismerned kell lelkemet”

“You need to close your eyes So you can see me To conquer my heart You have to know my soul”

While Az en apam (#240) touches me more than Origo, one can’t deny this is the more creative song. It combines not only Romani influences, but also a dark pop foreground which allows them to shine.

In addition, the lyrics are absolutely masterful—they are rooted in Joci’s story and packs a punch in the message. It's tells of a relationship with someone who doesn't accept him for who he is (cursing her forever as a result), along with how Joci grew up and used music as a weapon for himself and his people. He's a compelling storyteller, and you can tell he sings it from the soul.

Combined with a compelling rap and a neat violin instrumental, you get a completely unique experience.

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 8th/26 GF in Kyiv

#153: Blanche -- City Lights (Belgium 2017)

“All alone in the danger zone Are you ready to take my hand?”

Blanche had quite the journey in Eurovision--first her song gets released, and immediately becomes a contender. Then she has problems performing in shows and during rehearsals, at which the odds star dropping like flies. Then her semi-final performance was notably wobbly, but she still qualifies and places fourth.

Despite the staging errors (I would've personally have made the lighting gold rather than natural-colored), it was fully deserved and I think it was better than the eventual top three.

The vibe of this song reminds me of walking down the streets of Tokyo, because of the visuals involved. Everything is in a rush, but one's not sure There’s also tension, because of the dark electronic sound that dominates it. Despite Blanche’s nervousness on stage, it worked well with the song—it amplified the sensation of walking down a wire and wondering if the relationship will work. A startling entry from Belgium and one that really strikes at modernity.

Personal ranking: 3rd/42 Actual ranking: 4th/26 GF in Kyiv

#152: Frances Ruffelle -- We Will Be Free (Lonely Symphony) (United Kingdom 1994)

“Welcome to the land Where all our dreams are planned And fighting is a thing to do...”

The first of the UK’s attempts to modernize the contest in the 1990s, it’s a cool, funky song with interestingly-written lyrics. Someone compared the chorus to a protest slogan for social justice movement, but the rest of the song discusses a complex relationship. The opening lines are a highlight in particular, and everything flows fantastically.

A few bits of the live-performance went out of hand, like with the orchestration and Frances’ vocals, explained by how she was bopping up and down and was told that she needed to keep that down. As a result, she couldn't focus on her vocals and they turned out a bit sharp at times.

That said, she had a pretty dress and charming look about her. And while it placed in the top ten, I think it should've done better.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 10th/25 in Dublin

#151: Sebalter -- Hunter of Stars (Switzerland 2014)

"I state my heart has been well trained I’m gonna be your candidate I am the hunter and you are the prey Tonight I’m gonna eat you up"

This word-salad of a song makes it quite hard to choose a good lyric, as it has a bunch of nice lines but almost no meaning to them. Reading them again, it seems like one is trying to get his affections to like him, to no avail, unfortunately.

But beyond that, we get a fun and wholesome song, which features a prominent banjo and even a violin solo! From the opening melody I can't help but smile, or even whistle along at points (everytime the latter synchronizes, I feel a bit of accomplishment). It's a bit more folksy than what the contest oriented on the time (slickly produced pop with a bit of dubstep), which makes it even more special.

Finally, we have Sebalter himself, who really carries his own song! Not only is he quite good-looking, but also very charismatic and knows how to have a good time. While Swiss entries have become better known since then, you can't replicate Hunter of Stars; it's too special!

Personal ranking: 5th/37 Actual ranking: 13th/26 GF in Copenhagen

[todorokisbitch2]

i'm really sorry for being the way i am sometimes, especially when i let my nul emotions take over , im sorry that you had to deal with that after a great night but i really couldnt help getting scared to deatg of losing you hitch smthg bas happened , its no excuse but that fear really took over me to the pount where i became irrational wnd talking nonsense. Thank you so much for being patient with me i promise that i'll work on that so it never happens again , thank yiu fir loving me even in my worst days and thank you for being so gentle and kind and loving with me , i really dont know what great thing ive done to deserve someone like you , i genuinely consider myself as the luckiest woman alive , i'm wo happy you exist and i would literally do anything for you to be happy and well, i love you so fucking much ma princesse and i'll alllllwwwwwaays will pinky stinky winky

[whenitsdarkweilluminate]

Moscow 2009 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Russia Slogan: [none] Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - combined; televoting only for the semi-finals) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 4 + host General Overview: The 2009 contest commences the 50/50 era of Eurovision... but not in the semi-finals, where pure televoting was still utilized. That switch won't happen until 2010. Meanwhile, the jury wildcard twist was in effect again to determine the 10th qualifier. Incidentally, this lead to Finland and Croatia advancing in their respective nights, despite finishing outside the top 10. The two relegated countries were (North) Macedonia and Serbia. The former was denied two years in a row. Slovakia returns after a 9-year absence (in SF2). Over the next few years, the country will uphold their abysmal track record by amassing four consecutive DNQ's before permanently withdrawing again. San Marino also dipped after their debut entry flopped. Georgia, meanwhile, were disqualified because their song mocked Putin, and they refused to change the lyrics or submit a different song. SF1 opens with an announcer narrating a mythological story about a two girls and a firebird. It's a reference to a Russian fairytale. This leads to a flashy entrance of the Tolmachevy Sisters, the winners of Junior Eurovision 2006, and later representatives for Russia in 2014. They descend to the stage via a glowing firebird-shaped structure. The interval act involves a military choir (hard pass to this), segueing into t.A.T.u performing “Not Gonna Get Us”, where the aforementioned choir provides backing vocals. At least t.A.T.u's vocals are acceptable this time, although it was probably prerecorded. A different pair of hosts were employed for the semi-finals – Natalia Vodianova and Andrey Malakhov. The latter is irritating and overzealous. Their dialogue is badly scripted too. The results are presented differently this year. The physical envelopes are ditched in favour of revealing the qualifiers on the digital screen. Although envelope icons are displayed instead. The hosts press a button to “open” each one. The stage design is impressive this year, but I'll mention that again in Grand Final post. × Montenegro: Andrea Demirović - Just Get Out of My Life Montenegro are a somewhat surprising DNQ, but the 10 qualifiers make sense. “Just Get...” is a disco-pop song that follows a brisk, slippery rhythm. The melody and production are agreeable, while the “out of my, out of my, out of my” refrain is easily catchy. It was written by Ralph Siegel and Bernd Meinunger, two people responsible for several German entries since the 1970s. The verses also use a rising melody. The staging incorporates playful interactions between Andrea and a male dancer, which could be viewed as uncomfortable. The male keeps grabbing Andrea's waist and tries to pull up her dress at one point, while she repeatedly rejects his advances. He also twerks lol. In the song, Andrea is trapped by his charm. She knows this relationship is toxic, so she casts him away. The repetition of “out of my” highlights her torment. But then the song ends on a twist – “or just stay”, which undermines the message. × Czech Republic: Gipsy.cz - Aven Romale WTF is this? The composition is the definition of the word “discordant”. The melody jumps all over the place, veering off course into jarring directions, and none of it flows cohesively. There's claps, group chants, and vocal grunts. The staging, meanwhile, features bright outfits and comic book imagery on screen, while the lead singer wears a superhero costume. He also brings a zany personality. There's a funny moment when he ducks from the violin bow. But this entry is utter nonsense. It's also one of the rare instances of “nul points” in a semi-final. × Belgium: Copycat - Copycat And here's a song that earned just ONE point in the semi-final! “Copycat” involves an Elvis impersonator singing from the POV of Elvis Presley himself, commenting on his doppelgangers. The singer dresses like the King of Rock N Roll and emulates his vocal style, while the instrumentation mimics 1950s rock n roll. Meanwhile, the lyrics are littered with well-known references. The concept is just not that interesting. The idea is too thin to stretch to three minutes. And it's rather cringe. × Belarus: Petr Elfimov - Eyes That Never Lie Belarus continues to embrace tense, melodramatic atmospheres. Their '07/'08/'09 entries all conveyed that vibe. And this one cranks the intensity to 11. The rock instrumentation drives the song and represents Petr's distress. In the song, he's escaped a dark place in life since meeting his lover. It's also a visually striking entry. The staging features a person obscured and trapped by translucent bed sheet, while the wind machine batters them like a hurricane. This is complemented by the crafty lighting tricks and camera work. At one point, a single shot runs from the back of the arena to the stage and circles around Petr. But the issue is that the melody doesn't stick that well, and perhaps the atmosphere is too over-the-top. ✓ Sweden: Malena Ernman - La voix Despite placing 4th in SF1, “La voix” is Sweden's third consecutive under-performance at the Grand Final. This rough patch will culminate in next year's DNQ, though. So the mother of Greta Thunberg beat out Måns Zelmerlöw, Alcazar, Agnes and Molly Sandén at Melfest 2009. The song fuses operatic vocals with a contemporary Euro-dance beat. The opera sections imply a sense of angelic, pristine beauty. Not just vocals, but in how the screen fills up with a blindingly bright white light when that chorus hits. The soothing backing vocalists complement that illusion. Malena is feeling heavenly euphoria. The dance-pop production, on the other hand, delivers a bouncy, clap-along rhythm. But the verses are too short. And the transition into the final chorus is... a choice, with Malena's guttural notes and the muscle tensions in her face. Ultimately the song doesn't quite accomplish the graceful charm it aims for. Slovenia 2007 did opera/pop fusion better. ✓ Armenia: Inga and Anush - Jan Jan Armenia succeeds “Qélé, Qélé” with another phenomenal bop! “Jan Jan” is an “Ethnic” entry where the traditional instrumentation is rich and prominent. It's a dance-able rhythm. Meanwhile sisters Inga and Anush deliver fierce energy. Their attitude really makes the song. And the mystical instrumentation matches that assertive approach. The outfits and the dark colour layout complete the allure. Furthermore, the chorus is infectious (ie. “everyBODY move your BODY”), the sisters trade lines cleanly, and the build-up leading into the key change is exciting. The duo later spew meaningless phonetic sounds in the bridge. It sounds exotic, though. The lyrics (the ones that are real words) imply sisterly support. Inga and Anush help each other move on from life's troubles by partaking in the “new dance” together, which symbolizes a new chapter. That's my interpretation, anyway. × Andorra: Susanne Georgi - La teva decisió (Get a Life) This is Andorra's last appearance in Eurovision to date. All 6 of their entries failed to qualify; an indication that micro-nations have an uphill battle. Some of them were surprisingly decent, though. “Get A Life” is a sugary and cutesy entry. It projects a carefree, assured, innocent vibe. The chorus employs a perky “pip-pip-pip” sound. And in the performance, Susanne and her backing band wear beaming smiles and joyfully sway about. The song is also professionally arranged in structure. The “ah-ah-ah-i” hook stands out. And the final chorus is a triumph. That said, the lyrics are too clingy. Susanne's lover wants distance, but she refuses to let go. Plus songs this sugary can lead to a toothache. × Switzerland: Lovebugs - The Highest Heights Switzerland fails to qualify despite putting in the effort – a repeat story to last year. The synth-rock instrumentation on “The Highest Heights” is so aurally satisfying. It establishes a mood of peaceful euphoric bliss so perfectly. And it's consistently held in place, only pausing for the “oh-whoa-oh” bit. Which is an elevating moment. The lyrics, meanwhile, are charmingly straightforward – the narrator asks if his lover will be there during the dark times. Unfortunately, the song doesn't quite reach “epic” heights due to the underwhelming vocal melody. The lead singer fails to soar. ✓ Turkey: Hadise - Düm Tek Tek “Düm Tek Tek” has to be one of the catchiest songs in ESC history. It's astounding how every single second contains a hook. There's also a good variety of them – the instrumental intermissions, the double stammers in the verses (“bay-BAY”), the responses of “of all times”/“feels so fine”, the slower pre-chorus, the floating chorus melody, and of course the forceful “DUM TEK TEK” stomps. It's so jam packed. The production also cleverly pauses to emphasize that “DUM TEK TEK”. It's a cheesy representation of a heartbeat, but Hadise's assertive approach sells it. The “Ethnic pop” instrumentation helps reduce the cheesiness too. I like the guitar(?) and the heavy percussion line. Furthermore, the song is bursting with energy, there's pyro!, and all the pieces fit together. It's such a fun entry. ✓ Israel: Noa and Mira Awad - There Must Be Another Way The Israeli entry pairs a Jewish singer with an Arab singer. The song calls for unity and acceptance amongst the political divide in the country. It includes both Hebrew and Arabic verses. And the duet exhibits intimate chemistry on stage. The song's tone is heavy and emotional, where Noa and Mira express love, compassion, empathy and reassurance to each other. The arrangement is minimalist to allow the message to take focus. But it's also underdeveloped. The vocal melody didn't immediately connect, and the title phrase is anti-climatic. But it's grown on me. It's pleasant, with the lead in to the title phrase being the best part. The square tin drums add a subtle texture too. × Bulgaria: Krassimir Avramov - Illusion LMAO what a train wreck. The backing vocalists are hilariously horrific. Their shrieks are ear-splitting, uncoordinated, and off-key. It renders the live performance into un-listenable territory, since they're impossible to ignore. It's weird because the backing isn't THIS prominent on the studio version. Krassimir's falsetto is comparatively bearable though. Likewise, the almighty force created by the production and the “give me give me you time”/“do I want your touch” hooks are good ideas. There's also dancers on stilts. But there's no cohesion or cooperation to any of this. Instead of being atmospheric, the result is more like a nightmare. ✓ Iceland: Yohanna - Is It True? The winner of SF1, and the runner-up overall, matching Iceland's peak placement from 1999. “Is It True?” seems to be an overshadowed entry from 2009. Which is a shame because it's a stunning and heartbreaking ballad. The emotion resonates due to Yohanna's honest performance – her vocal is beautiful too. Meanwhile, the gentle tone and the methodical pacing allows the melancholy and devastation to flow naturally. It's a moment where time stands still. The key change shifts the final chorus into a moving finale, and to a higher degree of pain. Also, the backing vocalists reinforce the melody. The watery blue colour palette and the cello are effective. And the lyrics are relatable. They explore Yohanna's mental processes as she confronts a lover who's keeping a secret. She's preparing for the break-up, and she wonders how love can lead to hurt, but she also second-guesses herself (“did I throw it away”). I can empathize. I could do without the extreme close-up at the start, though.  × F.Y.R. Macedonia: Next Time - Nešto što kje ostane The juries deny (North) Macedonia from the Grand Final AGAIN. Incidentally, it's the 6th consecutive time they've placed 9th or 10th in a semi-final. Nothing of value was lost, though. “Nešto” is an entry that I feel indifferent towards. It emulates 1980s rock bands. There's gruff vocals, long hair, a guitar solo, and some catchy “yeah-eee-yeah”'s. It's an energetic and inoffensive song, but it's highly forgettable. ✓ Romania: Elena - The Balkan Girls Romania delivers a light and breezy celebration of Balkan girls. The song emanates a summery beach party vibe, thanks to the relaxed melody, the horns and hand drums. Elena is enjoying her life! The staging is inspired by Romanian mythology, where Elena enters via a stone throne, and the backing dancers wear sea-colour shredded dresses. Their fluid dance moves are sufficiently engaging. And the “for crowd delight” hook is strong. Overall, the arrangement flows smoothly and it's a solid performance. The only noteworthy flaw is that the song is basic.  ✓ Finland: Waldo's People - Lose Control Finland are the jury wildcard pick of SF1. The song ultimately placed last at the Grand Final, but with 22 points, which is relatively high for that position. So “Lose Control” contains a ridiculously catchy pop chorus, with rap verses interspersed, and a dance-pop production that is very 2009. My teenage-self would've loved it at the time lol. Also, the staging is notably flashy with all the fire antics. The booms and pyro explosion in the bridge are especially stimulating. It's a cool moment. On the flipside, the live vocals are patchy, and the chorus becomes a little repetitive. But the production is energetic and easy to bop along to. A catchy chorus is hard to resist. And the performance avoids taking itself too seriously, nor does it become novelty.  ✓ Portugal: Flor-de-Lis - Todas as ruas do amor The Portuguese entry is heartwarming and sweet; both in lyrics and composition. Vocalist Daniela Varela is so smitten here. In the song, she uses metaphors to illustrate the compatibility of her and her partner. Meanwhile, the folk instrumentation breathes a springtime vibe. A keenness of what the future holds, perhaps. It's also characteristically Portuguese, with the accordion and hand drums being highlights. Those drums enter and exit at appropriate times to prevent monotony, as the song shifts between dreaminess and excitement. The melody is lively and cheerful too. The colour patterns on the LED screen look like vomit, though. ✓ Malta: Chiara - What If We This is Chiara's third appearance in ESC, following her top 3 finishes in 1998 and 2005. “What If We” doesn't match those heights, however, as it places 22nd at the Grand Final. Her 2009 entry is, unsurprisingly, a ballad that follows the same structure as her other two. This type of redundancy is a pet peeve of mine. “What If We” is too much like an X Factor winner's single. It's boring and predictable. Still, Chiara is a talented singer. And the lyrics are existential in her search for the answers to life's questions, and skeptical over what we've been told. The drums also build anticipation. But the final chorus isn't climactic enough. ✓ Bosnia & Herzegovina: Regina - Bistra voda Bosnia's Balkan ballad reaches the top 10, but I find this one slightly overrated. The melody doesn't latch on easily and the chorus seems incomplete. I struggle to remember how it goes. To be fair, this genre doesn't follow Western pop music structures. On the positive side, “Bistra voda” is well-staged and the instrumental breaks do elevate the song. The visual involves a marching band showing a fervent, determined demeanour, set against a red backdrop. The outfits also appear historical. The accompanying lyrics are ambiguous, but they revolve around the theme of patriotism, which gives context to the staging. It's a meaningful entry anyway. My Ranking: 01. Iceland: Yohanna - Is It True? ✓ 02. Turkey: Hadise - Düm Tek Tek ✓ 03. Armenia: Inga and Anush - Jan Jan ✓ 04. Portugal: Flor-de-Lis - Todas as ruas do amor ✓ 05. Finland: Waldo's People - Lose Control ✓ 06. Romania: Elena - The Balkan Girls ✓ 07. Switzerland: Lovebugs - The Highest Heights 08. Montenegro: Andrea Demirović - Just Get Out of My Life 09. Sweden: Malena Ernman - La voix ✓ 10. Bosnia & Herzegovina: Regina - Bistra voda ✓ 11. Israel: Noa and Mira Awad - There Must Be Another Way ✓ 12. Andorra: Susanne Georgi - La teva decisió (Get a Life) 13. Belarus: Petr Elfimov - Eyes That Never Lie 14. Malta: Chiara - What If We ✓ 15. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Next Time - Nešto što kje ostane 16. Bulgaria: Krassimir Avramov - Illusion 17. Belgium: Copycat - Copycat 18. Czech Republic: Gipsy.cz - Aven Romale

[chac-ozai]

Side Quest: Slow Dance (Dutch/Micah)

Written for my friends and fans of Micah Bell and Peter Blomquist: Who is a wonderful troll and explains a side mission of Dutch and Micah dancing in the forest. I decided to bring life to that, and wrote it out as a story. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmSBPPcrTlg&t=286s <The Interview

No tags. Maybe slight racist speech. Enjoy!

To most men on this Earth, poison is deadly. Whether it be by snakebite, a festering wound or tainted water, poison is a reviled substance in which any sane man would do his best to avoid. But not Micah, no, the man lived it, breathed it and found each drop in his life merely encouragement to his being. Poison was laced in between the words of every woman who'd ever scorned him, and Micah had let it fuel his fire every day of his life he'd lived rejected.

But tonight, looking at the woman he'd paced around for hours, her rejection of him was too toxic for him to swallow.

“You're not a monster. You're just not that interesting.” Replayed in his head over and over, and Micah had been so kind to think of her all week, steeling up the courage to speak to the girl only to be shot down so quickly. He watched her now through the smoke of a campfire, he himself cast far off from the party that celebrated the return of that goddamn bog-trottin' Irish kid. There she was, miss Mary Beth looking pretty as a peach in the arms of Arthur Morgan, dancing hand in hand. He couldn't look away, neither at her smile or the slug of a man she'd chosen to dance with.

“You're just not that interesting.” Bitch. Fucking bitch. It was almost as if she didn't notice Micah's incessant eyes on her these past months, gazing through the apertures of the tent canvases. He remembered how angry it made him feel inside when he couldn't get the thought of her out of his mind, the way her teeth nibbled on the cap of a pen while she wrote sweet nothings into her journal.

And he wasn't good enough, wasn't he? Arthur seemed just fine, and he'd even turned the girl down at first. Mr. Van Der Linde and Molly had been grazing them all the while, small box steps and twirls that looked easy enough to mimic. He watched and watched, and when it was over, Morgan did this stupid little bow and she laughed at him.

He didn't even realize he was cleaning off his gun, polishing it incessantly as he watched.

“Hey pendejo, get off your ass and come over here.” Javier kicked the chair he was sitting on, and Micah's fingertips twitched instinctively into his pistol. Wait, no..It's just the greaser.

“What do you want.” Micah bemoans his fate, the Mexican was gesturing towards a table where Mr. Williamson poured a round of 3 drinks.

“Just get the hell over here, damn.” Javier walked away, and Micah glanced back at Dutch..

“Fine.” Micah snorts, spitting into the grass before heaving himself out of his solitude. “Let's see if you ladyboys can hold your liquor.”

~

“Again, Dutch, it was a smart decision to come with me. It really put's a man's mind back into the right perspective when you step away from it all and give it a, ahah, a good break.” Micah had led the older man through the thick of the forest, far off the path that'd been beaten by horses to Horseshoe Overlook.

“Well, Mr. Bell, if it means getting away from the..insufferable dissidence I am forced to deal with, even for a few minutes, I'll take it.” Dutch had a tired look about him, yet there he was following Micah further into the woods dressed to the nines. The man was polished to a default, despite him being so desperately bored of his situation.

“A man like you shouldn't have to take that amount of nonsense. You're too good for that. That's why I wanted to bring you out here, and talk business.”

Dutch cut him off, something he often did “Come now Mr. Bell, the last thing I want to do right now is talk business. Let's just walk away from the whole thing and clear our heads.”

Micah's heart dropped. He did everything he could to make sure no one saw them leave, every amount of time he had with Dutch was precious and necessary if he was going to make the man see his way. Still, despite the setback Micah still knew how to a polish an apple any which way. Dutch seemed to have something on his mind that formed a quirk on his lips; he had to stop Micah.

“Now Mr. Bell, I couldn't help but notice last night you asking Miss Mary Beth for a dance.” of course Dutch had heard  him, Dutch hears everything that goes on in that camp. Micah did a double take and seemed to close up, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists.

“She's quite a woman. Mmmh.” Micah groaned slightly at the distaste in his mouth from the memory, and clearly he was still sore about it.

“I hope you're not too disappointed. She always did have a soft spot for Arthur.”

“You're quite an attentive man, Dutch. It's very impressive.” They entered a clearing in the forest, a beautiful flat patch of grass illuminated by the sun; and around them? Absolutely nothing.

“You speak too much in favor of me. I'm just a man who knows his sons.” Dutch invited himself to sit on a fallen log and invited Micah to have a seat on the one parallel to him, the gentle sun hidden under the brims of their hats. “-And don't go dropping the subject, Micah. I want to know, what excuse did Mary Beth give you?”

Fuck. When Dutch wanted something he certainly would have it, it reminded Micah so much of his father. Micah visibly squirmed in his seat to the question, her voice cropping up in his head as clear as the first time she'd said it.

“You're not that interesting.” Micah repeated it, word for word. He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief- the mere reminder of the rejection was a blow to an ego so damaged Micah couldn't even acknowledge it.

“...That's what she said?” Dutch asked, he was smiling for some reason. It almost looked like he was about to laugh at him-

“I didn't come out here to gossip.” Micah slithered, but again Dutch had some sort of power over him that no one could resist, not even Mr. Matthews.

“Oooh, come on now, maybe she doesn't think you can dance. Can you?”

“C-Can I?” Micah repeated, Dutch was growing ever more amused at the embarrassed look on his face, his upper lip bitten down and hidden under his mustache.  The gang leader found Micah's squirming in discomfort too hilarious to pass up. Micah merely passed a huge sigh, sinking down into his seat with his arms outstretched-

“You know I wasn't really interested in dancing with Mary Beth. Let's be honest here.” Micah admitted, but before he could speak any more, Dutch lept out of his seat looking utterly delighted, clapping his hands together.

“Well, come on then, get up.” He backed away into the clearing, holding out a single hand with a bow.

“Dutch-”

“I won't take no for an answer, get up, Mr. Bell.” Dutch laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkled “If you're going to go for a lovely woman like Mary Beth, you'd best have the confidence to back it up!”

“You asking me to dance with you?!” Micah sunk further into his seat, attempting to glue himself in place. He'd never seen this side of Dutch but the man was so insistent, a huge smile on his face as he took several bouncing steps towards the smaller man and yanking him clean off the log by his wrist. The man was strong as a fucking bear, and Mr. Bell would have tripped over his own pointed boots hadn't it been for the man standing before him.

“Let's go, show me a few moves!” Dutch steadied the man and yanked the man's hat off, Micah's golden hair a mess underneath as he huffed and puffed. So Micah wanted a piece of what Dutch rightfully owned? He was going to have to work for it, some humility could do the boy some good.

“Insistent as a bull, aren't you.” Micah looked up, his eyes where tired but for once non-defiant. He took Dutch's hands in his own, back straight.

“Have some faith in yourself.” Dutch grins, and to Micah's most genuine distress, Dutch broke out into song, taking a first big step

“L'amour est un oiseau rebelle Que nul ne peut apprivoiser, Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle”

Micah was practically a ragdoll in Dutch's bear-like grip, his small feet clambering along the grass desperately trying to keep himself standing. His eyes looked frantically up at Dutch's singing face, the baritone of his voice shaking through Micah's chest- He'd been so distracted Mr. Bell had stepped on Dutch's feet enough to cake his shoes in dust.

“HA!” Dutch stops on a dime, breaking into a laugh “-Do you even know how to do a box step, son?”

“Shit! You're a maniac, Dutch! I know what I'm doing, you think I can dance with you throwing me around like a god damn sack? You're distracting me!” Micah was red from the neck up, Dutch finding it hilarious how angry the man could get, but oh, did Dutch know how to beguile a soul.

“If I'm distracting you, how do you think you'd do with a beauty like Mary Beth in your grasp?” The man had an amazing ability to change the tides of a conversation. Micah felt himself immediately back down, and he could only break into a nervous laugh.

“That's better.” Dutch mistook his anxiety “Now, from the top. It's one, two, one two-” Dutch broke back into song, the entire process repeating itself from the beginning. The leader kept his eyes on the top of Micah's blonde head while the shorter man bowed down to look at Dutch's footsteps. He stepped on his feet over and over, and every time he did Micah would beg “Let me go.” He wasn't brought out here to do this, He thought he had Dutch in his grasp but he found himself quite the opposite.

“You don't seem to be learning, son.” Dutch grins, and for some reason it burned Micah deep down. The smaller man merely narrowed his eyes, silently nodding at Mr. Van Der Linde before taking it from the top. Dutch grabbed Micah's wrists and made him place them around his shoulders, the taller man's hands now pinned to his hips; Dutch had made a damn woman of him.

~

Arthur's skills at tracking had become honed in his time working with Charles; and today he'd put them to good use by tracking a most elusive prey. He had his nose down towards the ground, following every broken twig and flattened patch of early spring grass through the forest.

Micah and Dutch had no business being alone together; Arthur never once trusted him, and as time went on his trust of Dutch waned with it. As Arthur spanned the corners of the camp and vanished into the woods, a sort of ominous chill entered him, it was as if the very world around him grew cold as his thoughts delved further into uncharted areas of distrust.

Five minutes, then ten. The late afternoon was growing as cold as his trail and Arthur assumed he simply was not the tracker Charles so liked to believe he'd made of him. A breeze picked up, the clouds overhead dropped the first bit of evening frost to the point that small specks of white began to drift down from the tree canopies.

“God damn.” Arthur found himself in the middle of nowhere, trail cold and with little hope. Whatever Micah was planning on doing with Dutch might as well have been good and done by now. He was ready to turn back and accept he'd failed, but he heard it; music? It was deep and resonant, and Arthur could recognize it somehow. He drew closer to it and now it was unmistakable; who else would have that voice but Dutch?

Two red dodges of color where stark against the treeline, Arthur hunches down and leans into a tree, peering beyond it and stunned by what he sees. He couldn't believe it, Dutch had Micah in his arms and they where dancing in circles, going as far as to have Micah twirling, Dutch leaning the man over into a dip with their legs tied. The snake's expression was unreadable but his hair was tousled, clearly not a smile on his face.

Arthur chewed on his lip in abject confusion yet he couldn't look away, like some sort of sick nightmare he needed to watch play out. Dutch had a twisted smile on his face, the kind he made when he'd won something..he kissed Micah's wrist and watched as the shorter man rip away from him,going to fetch his white hat and cram it back down onto his head. Arthur covered his eyes and reeled in revulsion..The image was pure poison and he had to get away.

He had to tell someone though..But who? Who would believe him? Everyone would think he was stirring shit again, and Arthur cursed his past actions of antagonizing the camp. No one would believe him.

He doesn't even think he believes himself.

[cherrirui-official]

I'm trying to draw and I unintentionally discovered that I could just do this in ibispaint...

What if we made out in the John Dory void??? /J

[page-a-pages]

Apprendre à reconnaître les arbres avec Olivier Tallec, José Parrondo et Olivier Douzou

Dans son ouvrage Le Livre des arbres et plantes qui restent à découvrir, le fameux botaniste Olivier Tallec décrit des essences et plantes remarquables qui lui ont été signalées ou qu’il a découvertes. Sachant que le professeur Tallec est très proche d’un écureuil qu’il suit depuis quelques années (voir note), on peut en toute légitimité se demander si ce dernier n’a pas fait tout le travail de recherche pendant que le professeur faisait la sieste sous un arbre à marteaux… Pourtant, « Combien de fois faudra-t-il le dire ? ON-NE-FAIT-JAMAIS-LA-SIESTE-SOUS-UN-ARBRE-A-MARTEAUX ! ». Qu’à cela ne tienne, les notices analytiques doublées de planches d’illustrations couleur en regard et en pleine page offriront quantité d’informations utiles aux chercheurs comme aux botanistes amateurs en culotte courte. En cela, Tallec a réussi son pari.

  Il serait injuste de ne pas citer ici un autre ouvrage remarquable qui, bien que paru au printemps 2013, garde toute son actualité. Forêt Wood, a été publié à l’occasion des vingt ans du secteur jeunesse des éditions du Rouergue. Co-écrit par José Parrondo et Olivier Douzou, directeur artistique jeunesse et albums dudit secteur, il recense plus d’une centaine d’arbres imaginaires, fantaisistes, drôles ou poétiques. Suivant le chemin de leur nomadis deambulatis - ou arbre sans racines, nous nous sommes arrêtés pour le feuilleter avant que, automne oblige, ses feuilles ne tombent.

 Ill. tirée de Forêt-wood ©à vous de deviner...

En exergue de Forêt-wood, figure une citation de Raymond Queneau qui professe : « Il y a deux sortes d’arbres : les hêtres et les non-hêtres ». A comparer les deux albums, cette citation peut s’appliquer à l’un comme à l’autre. On note également un autre point commun, celui de ne jamais être sérieux et de faire rire tout le monde. Cependant, le livre du duo Parrondo-Douzou intéressera un public légèrement plus âgé que celui de Tallec qui déridera les enfants curieux dès 3-4 ans, groupe dans lequel je me range volontiers.

L’arbre hésitant d’Olivier Tallec est-il un hêtre ou un non-hêtre? Au lecteur de décider...

  Ill. tirée de Forêt-wood ©à vous de deviner...

Forêt-wood joue du double langage dans l’élaboration des dessins et de leur définition. S’agissant d’une étude internationale franco-belge, les deux auteurs ont effectué leurs recherches chacun de son côté, puis se les ont soumises. Nul doute qu’ils se sont bien poilés en découvrant leurs arbres respectifs, que le lecteur peut d’ailleurs chercher à deviner.

Le professeur Tallec, lui, manie à merveille le nonsense et livre un catalogue d’arbres et de plantes à message drôle, poétique et, allez savoir, plus sérieux qu’on ne le pense. Parfois, il fait lui aussi dans la dentelle, comme avec « l’arbre qui se la raconte qui se prend pour un gratte-ciel et qui amuse surtout quelques vieux singes. »

On peut ici avancer que les deux ouvrages permettront aux lecteurs malins et/ou poètes en panne d’activités d’inventer à leur tour des arbres, même si ceux-ci ne recevront sans doute jamais le label d’arbre remarquable décerné par le Jardin des plantes de Paris. On rangera précieusement et pour longtemps Forêt-wood sur le rayon botanico-bizzaroïdo de sa bibliothèque et on courra acheter une pile d’exemplaires du Livre des arbres et plantes qui restent à découvrir à distribuer largement autour de soi aux jeunes botanistes en herbe.

Plus sérieusement, en écrivant cet article me revenaient en tête d’autres albums sur les arbres. J’aimerais rendre ici hommage au plus merveilleux d’entre eux, L’Arbre généreux de Selv Silverstein, publié dans sa traduction par l’Ecole des loisirs en 1982 et que j’ai lu et relu aux personnes âgées quand je travaillais en EMS (EHPAD) psycho-gériatrique. Ce livre leur mettait les larmes aux yeux et elles me le redemandaient encore et encore.

Mais encore, après avoir découvert les arbres un peu farfelus dont il est question ci-dessus et celui si tendre de Selv Silverstein,  on s’émerveillera devant ceux, bien réels, de nos régions d’Europe. Lisa Voisard en a sélectionné plus de cinquante dont elle dresse le portrait dans Arborama, un ouvrage passionnant, aux illustrations très claires, graphiques, dans des tons pastel.

Note : In vivo ou ex vivo, toutes les manières sont bonnes pour rencontrer un écureuil. Le professeur Tallec a-t-il scruté les arbres pendant longtemps avant de faire connaissance du sien ? Il faudra le lui demander. Toujours est-il qu’après l’avoir approché, Tallec l’a utilisé dans les ouvrages suivants : C’est mon arbre, Un peu beaucoup et J’aurais voulu, tous trois publiés par l’Ecole des loisirs, dans la collection scientifique « Pastel ».

Le Livre des plantes et des arbres qui restent à découvrir, Olivier Tallec, Actes Sud Junior, 2021

Forêt-wood, José Parrondo, Olivier Douzou, Rouergue, 2013

L’Arbre généreux, Selv Silverstein, L’Ecole des loisirs, 1982

Arborama, Lisa Voisard, Helvetiq, 2021

[findteenpenpals]

lol I have like no friends

 Hello there! I'm a 15 year old male called Joseph and I'm basically a complete nerd whom'st've likes memes (star wars prequel memes are dank af), games, films and computing. My fav films are star wars, pulp fiction and swiss army man (really strange film but you should totally watch it). Um yeah I'm from the UK, theres not much there and all the people are assholes (hence me having practically no friends lol). I'm depressed but I'm not just a whining piece of trash and just want internet friends, preferably between the ages of 14-16 to simply message and talk to and mby play games with.

My ideal "pen pal" would be someone who likes watching movies/tv shows, likes memes, preferably likes computing/gaming and is just nice and kind and willing to let me open up sometimes. Oh yeah ive come this far without mentioning my music lol. Its a bit bad but I'm mostly into some indie stuff like Passion Pit or Vampire Weekend.

I've probably come across like a complete saddo through all of this but lol i dont really care anymore im just a lonely guy whom needs friends. I can also tell good stories (such as the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise) and I can also remind you about the droid attack on the wookies. All cheesy nonsense aside, I'd sort of appreciate it if you emailed me and introduced yourself to me at this email (oh god im dreading this, dont judge i made this username when i was 8)

jmlolz360 @ gmail .com

Oh yeah I also only speak English (although I'm learning French at school (je suis nul))

[beloved-death]

4 Year Anniversary

I’ve had this blog for 4 years now, it has certainly felt like eternity.

None of my blogs have lasted anywhere near this long, and while it ultimately failed (55 followers LMAO down from like 180 max) I’ve had fun. I haven’t changed much these 4 years but to you all I have. To me I am just more cynical, more depressed and hopeless (I’m still unreasonably edgy and I embrace that). I don’t like to think about those early times, when I wasn’t being the most cringe person here I was slowly ruining friendships by being incredibly annoying. Was it all my fault? Probably not, but oh well can’t change that shit. 

Going through these old interactions hurts but they were more innocent times, when people had fun with my nonsense. Back then the only lore I had was a disillusioned Reaper looking for anything to break the dread of being alive and making happy memories, and a member of a species all my own with a big heart and trauma just trying to live his long life the way he wants to. Kira was originally going to be the primary character on this blog but that didn’t last long. Nul was just one success after another and EVERYONE liked the character and his morbid humor. Kind worn it all out though. At least he didn’t become flanderized (seriously when’s the last time you heard Nul call someone a meatbag or pulled a cryptic prank on someone that wasn’t Bor?). He had some wonderful growth, shame Kira never got much. I built a whole universe and lore that I still love working on but its not suited for books, a graphic novel maybe, but not a book.

Every additional character has been a disaster to some extent: Nala was a massive mistake and I still don’t know why I made her (another world eater was a good idea but awfully executed), Olivia never fit and her threads were pathetic because they were impossible to write, I don’t regret Sun though he was a proper fucking addition that got a lot of interest but its sad that by then the interactions dried up, and I don’t want to think about Mason he was an attempt to make a more RP friendly character but all my interest in him died as soon as I posted that bio because I HAD DONE IT AGAIN! I MADE A CHARACTER THAT IS A TERRIBLE PERSON AND IS VERY DIFFICULT TO RP WITH! My verses interactions have been some of my favorites and I wish OCs in fandom RPCs weren’t shit on so hard, I would love to go back but all I can do are the custom protagonists or actual OCs and then I’d be repeating the cycle all over again.

Perhaps my time to leave was long ago, I just don’t got it anymore. I suppose it’s nice that people are here for me now, never really had that before. I’m not leaving anytime soon though (barring mental health forcing me to act irrationally) and I hope to make more friends and maybe by some miracle get this blog back in action.

Happy Birthday Beloved-Death

“I just love their interactions forgive me”

“ AHHHH i am super excited to see how it’s going to turn out!! it already sounds super interesting!!! i love the idea of reapers tbh and you’ve put a whole new spin on them i am totally game for this!!!! “

These two hurt so much. Back when people thought I was funny, engaging, original, and a joy to rp with. NGL my favorite people to write with, I had amazing chemistry with both. I had more trust back then too...

Nul had 2 friends at one point, that was perhaps the best point in my RP history. It felt wonderful. I don’t think I’ll ever chemistry again.

Let’s also not talk at all about the Sarg persona, that’s going to my grave.

[fluffyblue-multifandommess]

the beastars sub i have access to refer to the Shishi Gumi as the “Leo Group” and while I’m against violence in practice, in theory I would very much like to bonk the person who made that decision on the head. Imagine taking something that has such a wonderful rythm as “Shishigumi” and changing it to this uncool, nul-ass “leo group” nonsense

like why even change it. why was there a need to localise that. “shishigumi” is Not that hard a word to remember. what on Earth was the thought process there