tentangsinopsis-blog

[kitcat22]

Okay, okay so I’m thinking of an au mashup in which Obi Wan gets de-aged in the middle of the clone wars, except Obi Wan is now at the age when his prophetic visions and slightly offputting nature were at they’re height.

I tend to follow the belief, in Seer!Obi wan fics, that Yoda took one look at the 8 year old Obi Wan who keeps telling him increasingly creepy little snippets of his future and the looked at Sifo-Dyas rocking back and forth in the corner doodling the same face over and over, with slight variations, muttering insanities as Dooku tries to lure him out with a trail of biscuits and tea, and just went. No. Absolutely not. Not doing this again. And the council at the time just sort of agreed to put a mental block in place to stop Obi Wan from growing up into Sifo-Dyas Junior.

This is was all fine and dandy, until Obi Wan is suddenly 7 again without this block in place and planets away from anyone capable of rebuilding it again. Force forbid they allow Skywalker a go at it.

Now there’s an unsettling redheaded child making very worrying, very creepy comments.

Anakin: awww, aren’t you a cute!!!

Baby!Obi-Wan: Your hands drip with the blood of trillions, Your arrogance veils the sins you wish not to confront, Your decrepit body shall live on long past your own death, in a cage of its own making.

Anakin: : - 0

Baby!Obi-Wan: but thank you : - )

Ahsoka and Rex are very reluctant to be near the baby after he tells them how everyone they love will die and they shall continue on, surrounded but alone all the same.

Cody and the 212th choose to endure the comments on how they will die enslaved, put down by the masters that created them, deprived of personhood and kindness because creepy baby or not, that’s they’re general right there, they can figure all the freakiness out after the they’ve comforted the child. (They are immensely worried over this, though)

It’s not like Obi wan is enjoying this either. He doesn’t want to predict all this, it won’t stop!

Dooku, on the other hand is thrilled. He kind of regrets not keeping his lover Sifo-Dyas around as his own personal fortune cookie machine / Magic 8 ball. Not cause he misses him or anything. Not at all. He just thinks the tactical advantage would be wonderful! (This is slightly ignorant of how unstable and harmful Sifo’s visions were) To have his Grandpadawan back in this impressionable, powerful state would also be wonderful!

He changes his mind after about 10 minutes with said grandpadawan.

He wants the adult one back please. The 7 year old is dissecting his soul and telling him how pointless his life decisions have been :-(

Shit really hits the fan when baby!Obi-Wan accidentally bumps into Sheev.

Obi wan returns to adult form in a galaxy that sort of resembles this

He can’t do much complaining though considering it was him that caused this.

[unfinishedslurs]

The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?

“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.

He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.

She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.

Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.

She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”

“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”

Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.

The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”

Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.

He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.

“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.

Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.

Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.

In an instant, Leia understands everything.

Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.

Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.

Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.

“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”

“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”

“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”

“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”

He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”

“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”

“Yes it is.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.

“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”

“But—“

It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.

She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?

Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.

It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.

Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“

She makes a decision then and there.

“We’re leaving.”

“What?”

“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.

“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”

“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”

He salutes and scurries off.

“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”

“And you trust this person because…”

“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”

It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.

He squints at her. “That’s not it.”

“What?”

“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”

“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.

“Well?”

Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.

“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”

He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.

“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”

What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.

“So there’s good news and bad news.”

“Bad news first,” she demands.

“They know there’s a mole.”

“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”

“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”

Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”

“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”

“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”

“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”

“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”

“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.

Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.

Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.

Unless he didn’t.

It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.

But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.

The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.

Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.

Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.

Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.

Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.

“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”

“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.

“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”

A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”

“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”

More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”

“I figured it out.”

“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.

“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”

“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.

“What?”

“Stand back. Please.”

Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.

“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.

The TIE explodes.

“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.

And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.

“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.

As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.

Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.

Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”

“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”

“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”

“Should I be offended?”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”

“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”

He snorts. “Yeah, right.”

[charmwasjess]

Hi Jess! I have been reading the Darth Plagueis book, wherein he says that to get a true Sith, you can’t just corrupt a Jedi, you have to go a lot further… as much as Dooku was the right hand man of Palpatine, I think he was a lot less “true Sith Lord” and a lot more “fallen Jedi”… thoughts?

P.S. what do you think would’ve happened if Obi-Wan and Dooku joined forces? I’m not sure if you have written about them yet 

Always good to hear from you, bud! :D What a fantastic question!

I’ll start off by pointing out that Sidious, who as The Big Sith Master is the only dude who gets to say who is or isn’t a Sith, seems to consider him one, in an official capacity. But I TOTALLY see what you’re saying, and I tend to agree with you (and with Plagueis!) I think Dooku’s storytelling role, his identity in the saga, is that of a fallen Jedi, not characterizing the typical qualities in a Sith Lord. He might be officially a Sith, but narratively, it almost doesn’t matter. 

You know, it’s Dooku: Jedi Lost, not Dooku: Sith Rising. There’s no denying that Dooku is an unconventional Sith, to say the least. He only flashes Sith eyes once. He still uses his Jedi lightsaber form - a lightsaber form which is all about disarming, not deathblows. He has a notoriously difficult time killing, and seems to put off important kills out of blatant sentimentality, or get someone else to do them, often halfheartedly. On the sliding scale from “moments where he visibly looks miserable” in Clone Wars to some of the Legends novels where Dooku as a POV character outright describes his own life in excruciating terms full of regret and desperation, we as viewers are to understand that Dooku’s decision is the ultimate sunk-cost fallacy, one he pays for again and again. A miserable dance that concludes on his knees with that very expressive final look at Sidious. We see that he has wagered wrongly, and more, in that moment, that he finally knows it – just as much as we do. 

And of course, there are plenty of reasons for the conflict in the character  - everything from his motivations of corrupted idealism to the simple fact of old habits. I mean, Anakin spent 23 years as Vader as opposed to 14 years in the Order; Dooku, a mere 13 years as Tyranus, with a 60 year Jedi career hardcoded into his body.

But I think it’s more than just how Dooku feels about his identity as a Sith. Some of it is surely how Sidious treats him. 

To Sidious, Dooku is a servant and a patsy, a stopgap solution to his Maul -> Anakin apprentice problem, and certainly not ever as an heir to his and Plagueis’s Sith line. He is not training Dooku to carry on the legacy and knowledge of the Sith after he’s gone. (It’s arguable that Sidious doesn’t think anyone will NEED to carry it on, as he himself will be immortal.) Still, it’s not hard to see that Sidious does not have a lot of motivation or time to thoroughly sithize Dooku or give him an equal stake. Dooku himself behaves unreliably, is resentful and argumentative, can’t stop collecting minions, and plotting to overthrow his Master seems to be the one part of being a Sith that Dooku actually enjoys. He’s a liability to Sidious- and teaching him more Sith lore and powers just makes him more of a threat. 

Dooku himself articulates it well, so I'll give the last word to him. Here he is talking about what it’s like to be a Sith apprentice from Yoda: Dark Rendezvous:

[translucent-sun]

Cody laid awake, lost in thoughts. He’d been trying to resist the temptation to ask Obi-Wan this one simple question for months now. There was no point in asking if questions about the past, Cody knew that. Nothing he’d do, no answer he could possibly get, would be able to change a thing that happened, how things went. And yet, he needed to ask. 

“Do you think,” he started, speaking quietly into the darkness. “If just one little thing had been different back then. Do you think everything would be different today?” He stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t even know if Obi-Wan was awake. If he heard him. But the question that’s been burning inside his mind for so long was finally out now. It was free. 

To his relief, or dismay – Cody wasn’t sure – Obi-Wan gave a questioning hum in return. “Of course. Every small decision or act shapes the course of the future.” Cody huffed. He didn’t know what kind of answer he expected, but it should have been this one.

“What I mean, is,” Cody elaborated. “If – You know there were some of us, some of my brothers who managed to remove their inhibitor chips long before we even knew what they were capable of. If I’d been one of them… We could’ve been together this whole time. We could’ve had a life. I caused you so much pain. None of that would’ve happened if that one thing had been different.”

“Or you and I could be dead,” Obi-Wan countered matter-of-factly before he continued more softly. “I know those thoughts are hard. I have so, so many regrets, so many things that make me wonder what could’ve been if I’d done something differently. About you, about Padmé, about – about Anakin.” His voice broke off almost unnoticeably, but Cody still caught it. “But all you’re doing is torturing yourself by asking yourself those things. We can’t change what happened, but we can make sure none of it was for nothing.” Cody felt Obi-Wan’s warm fingers against the skin of his arm, wandering down in search of his hand. “We’re here now,” he whispered, interlacing their fingers and squeezing gently. Cody sighed.

“I know you’re right, but it’s so easy to get lost in the past.” Obi-Wan stroked the knuckle of Cody’s thumb with his own, continuing the movement on his wrist, then his palm, separating their hands just slightly. It tickled, and for a split-second Cody considered pulling away before Obi-Wan suddenly stopped. Cody could almost hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

“You know what I wish we could do again?” he asked. Only when Cody hummed in question did he continue, rising onto his elbow, hovering above him. “I wish we could go back to Coruscant, just once, and spend another night in the lower levels. Remember the stuffed Rodian peppers and Tsiraki we had at this little stall?” Cody huffed.

“The one that shushed us away and closed down when he saw a police droid nearby? How could I forget,” he chuckled at the memory.

“That one,” Obi-Wan said, chuckling now too. He leaned back just slightly. “I miss the food. And I miss the feeling of– this doesn’t make sense. I should be, and I am glad that we don’t have to keep us a secret anymore. Well, you know what I mean. But I miss the thrill of being close to you in public, on Coruscant. Being seen and knowing that no one down there knew or cared who we were. That’s something I wish we could do again. Here we’re just that strange old couple.” 

Cody smiled for a moment before locking his eyes on the ceiling, the smile disappearing.

“I don’t know…” He huffed. “Everyone always thought you’re so strictly by the rules. That we both were. I wish we could have told more people. It was exciting, even the sneaking around was fun, but I never liked having to pretend. So I am glad that we can now just live our life and be seen as whatever they choose to see, as long as they can see us. The risk is a different one now.” 

Obi-Wan smiled just slightly and Cody followed the movement of his lips closely. 

“If only it was us they were seeing. They’ll never see Obi-Wan holding Cody’s hand. They’ll only ever see Tem and Ben.” He huffed, drifting off for a second. “Sometimes I forget that this isn’t my name, I’ve been using it for so long.” He shook his head. “Either way, it’s made-up characters they see. In a way, we’re hiding more than we ever have before.”

Cody hummed. Obi-Wan was right. He hadn’t seen it that way before, but it was true. Though it didn’t really matter.

“My name was made-up to begin with,” Cody shrugged. “I love you. I don’t care whether I call myself Cody or Tem or anything else while loving you. It doesn’t matter what names we use, because it’s us loving each other.” 

Obi-Wan smiled before letting himself fall back onto the mattress. 

“You are such a smart-ass. Can we go back to sleep now?” Cody chuckled.

“Fine.” 

The bedding rustled beside him and a kiss was pressed to his lips, and without another word they went back to sleep.

[dearanakin]

trust you | anakin skywalker: episode VIII

Summary: Anakin gets dragged into a mission with Poe Dameron, while something unexpected happens at the Jedi Temple, where you and the others face the incoming threat. (don't forget I use characters from different timelines)

Warnings: mentions of blood, vulgar language

Word count: 3.2k

previous chapter | read on Wattpad

--

Anakin:

I was on a mission with freaking Poe Dameron. I would like to think I haven't lowered my standards when it comes to the assignments I usually do, because this one sure fucking isn't it. But I was literally dragged to do this with him, it wasn't the first time either, so I know what he was on about. I didn't have a choice matter-of-factly, because I refused too many times the past two days, but he just made me come with him saying he needed my assistance. He also made me wear a stupid helmet, but I reassured my decision and disagreed. 

He works with the fucking Resistance, what does he need me for? He flies a T-70 X-wing starfighter, which is high key superior to my Eta-2 Actis-class. He knows many attack techniques, and he also has an entire group with him flying around. 

Poe was using his comlink to communicate with his partners as we reached closer to find the First Order's headquarters. It reminded me badly of the Emperor, but I tried to suck up the feeling of rage inside of me. It's been years already, what is done is done. 

While the man next to me focused on his own mission, I thought back to two days ago, when I met (Y/N) in the coffee room. I honestly didn't expect to meet anyone there, hence why I decided to get a drink in the middle of the night. It caught me off guard seeing her after what had happened the last time we were together, which made me feel completely flimsy being close to her. 

And it pissed me off that she thought it would be a good idea to bring his lightsaber up after everything he had done before he left me behind. I didn't regret breaking that stupid piece of shit of grip, I should've done that the first time I came across it when she had it in her hands. It drives me insane the way she just trusts everyone she meets, without even realizing how much they can harm people. And worse than that, trusting Obi-Wan fucking Kenobi. 

I can't trust anyone after everything I've been through, after I've been left behind from my former Master. Most importantly, I trusted Palpatine's words that he could help me save Padmé, and he betrayed me as well. My issues all lie around the ones I devoted my life to. 

Dameron snaps me out of my distraction when he finally speaks up to me, handing me a blaster gun. I rolled my eyes, thinking he definitely believes I would need a blaster gun when I have my lightsaber. 

"We're moving forward to attack them, assault their army and gather intel" He removes his helmet, which has features of the Resistance's symbol mixed with a red and black design. 

"Jesus, Dameron. You guys know what you're dealing with, right?" I try to stand on my ground and not stick my nose where it wasn't my issue. Obviously, my body was probably going to boil from all the control I'm holding back. 

"Yes, Sherlock? We've been here before, but we couldn't find them" Poe moves his head to the sides, looking for a hidden place to land, which was pretty nonexistent. 

Why the fuck did he call me Sherlock?

"You couldn't find them" I laughed in disbelief. He truly believes it's that easy to fight against the First Order. "Can you imagine what they're capable of if they find us first?"

He seemed to ponder for a moment, but gave me a reassuring smirk before unbuckling his belt. I did nothing but huff in annoyance over his shitty idea. I was going to help him and his trope, but only because he made me come, and I owe him as well. 

"I've led attacks and been to many before, and they were all terrible people. This is no different" Poe tried to convince me he would make it out of here. Again, my trust issues aren't really helping me here. 

"Yeah, but they weren't Snoke" I muttered and he shot his head back at me quickly, surprised with my words "I can sense the motherfucker from miles" 

We stay glancing at each other for what feels like several minutes, only then he took in what was really happening and how much he was willing to risk himself and his group in a suicide mission. Because that's what it really is when it comes to Snoke. The artificial humanoid was as powerful as Palpatine. 

"You're telling me you made me bring you into this shit show and didn't tell me who we're dealing with?" He raised his voice, almost squeaking with desperation, and I furrowed my brows. 

I shake my head, not exactly catching on what he's saying. "You didn't fucking know we were literally walking into death?"

"I thought we were fighting off Stormtroopers?"

He's really unbelievable. If I wasn't here, he would be dead by now. Poe would've been sliced into a million pieces and would've taken his entire group down with him. 

"Poe! For God's sake, do you ever think before you go on these missions?" I can't even begin to tell how much I'm frustrated with him and his lack of self consciousness. "This is the fucking Supremacy headquarters, it's literally his lair!"

He became desperate and started to communicate through his comlink, letting the others know what we were really getting ourselves into. I swear to God this is why I don't trust people at all. I should've known better than to just follow Poe into the assignments he finds. This is beyond crazy of him. 

I decided to take over the yoke of his ship and maneuver it until we start to lift off the ground, swinging it. The moment we started to leave, the stormtroopers finally made their appearance and started shooting at us. 

It was really hard to find the right setting for the attack, but I managed to hit the defense laser cannon, trying to blast them and take them down. Poe was in a mix of trying to warn everyone, while he shoved my hands off the yoke. 

"You're gonna get us fucking killed!" He screamed before taking control and flying up, far enough to hit the men on the ground.

"You're the one to talk!" I yelled back at him, looking out the window to realize his teammates were still taking off and struggling to fight back. My senses heightened when I felt something really disturbing ring in my head. 

At first, it was confusing because it came all at once. The high-pitched noise started to pound in my head and when I looked back at the headquarters, I noticed Snoke coming out of the Supremacy, walking slowly to the edge of the place. He was staring at us, but didn't move a finger. 

"Pull the lightspeed gear!" I shouted at Poe, startling him. He looked at me and creased his brows. "Do it now!"

He didn't question my demand, pulling the gear immediately and we crossed the galaxy in a matter of seconds. He looked over his shoulder to get a glance behind us, to see if his teammates were right after us. I unknowingly heaved out a sigh, listening to Dameron do the same next to me when we noticed their ships behind us. 

Still, the vertigo and the ringing in my head hit back, and I looked over the transceiver on his  control panel. There was a hissing noise and a faint voice on the other side, speaking words we couldn't understand. He managed to spin a few buttons, trying to tune it in so it became clear. 

"Code nine thirteen! Nine, one three!" The other voice spoke, and we both looked at each other at the same time. It's an emergency code. 

Was that Cal Kestis? My blood ran cold, and I felt a shiver down my spine, and my limbs became numb. I watched as Poe took the lead and gripped the transceiver speaker and spoke to him, I was utterly shocked and couldn't say a word. I started to zone out, thinking about Luke and our groups of people. Even (Y/N) came into my mind. 

"It's the General Grievous' army! We are under attack! Where the hell are you guys?" His voice came rather desperate, like he couldn't fathom what was really happening. 

"We're coming, landing is in a few seconds!" Poe sped up and quickly we were near the Temple. 

"Luke, is he okay? How bad is it?" I was still under a daze, my eyes roaming around the place looking for something dreadful happening down there.I start to unbuckle myself as soon as Poe lands the ship, barely waiting for him to open the doors and I immediately sprint off the hallway of the Temple looking for my son.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Cal hitting his lightsaber incessantly against the army of droids, his face covered in dried blood. He shot me a knowing look when I came over to where he was and assisted him with my weapon.

"Where is Luke?" I hear my strangling voice ask him as we managed to keep ourselves shielded from them. He didn't answer and I raised my tone at him "Where the hell is my kid?"

"He's hiding with (Y/N), she took him!"

"Where?" My hands were swinging the lightsaber as fast as they could, even though I could feel them trembling.

"I don't fucking know- ah!" He grunted and I looked over at him.

One of the droids slashed their sword against his upper arm, ripping a pained groan out of him. I kicked it off and shoved mine against them, beating it into pieces. Kestis watches me with wide eyes and nods when I face him back.

I rush out of the hallway, running aimlessly. I needed to figure out a way of getting to Luke, but I had to think about where she would hide with him in the first place. And I had no idea, given that I still don't know much about her. So I tried the only thing I have to my advantage. I focused my senses and shut down the background noise. A few seconds later, I gathered a few whispering down the other end of the Temple.

My hands were shaking really badly, I thought I was going to pass out from the distress. It was agonizing not knowing where he was and if he was ok. I walked slowly through each closed door, until I could hear shuffling against the smaller one. It could barely fit two people in there. Usually they use force shields so any other force sensitive people wouldn't get ahold of it, but I've worked on mine for so long it can literally overreach it.

"Luke! Are you in there?" I ask, resting my hand over the door knob while leaning my ear against the door. There's still faint noises on the other side. It was faint, but I could hear them. "It's me, it's dad"

"Don't open the door, Luke. It could be a changeling" She whispers to him.

"But I know it's my dad. I can feel it" Luke whispers back, leaning against the door. I can feel his energy dissipating through the room.

"It's me Luke. It's not a changeling, I'm right here!" I try to whisper to him as well, maybe he will sense it too.

For a brief second, he mentioned opening the door but (Y/N) caught him in the middle of it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"No, young boy. Did your father not tell you to not trust anyone?" Her words hit me hard like a brick.

I know I've been clear about that, but it felt too weird to be on the other side of the story this time. She knows how I feel about trusting people, (Y/N) is trying to keep him safe using my own advice.

Again, he shuffled on the other side and I felt his body moving further away from the door. This time, she was standing against it.

"Stay back, and hold onto me" She asked in a low tone and slowly turned the doorknob.

I didn't wait until she opened fully, making myself step into the tiny room as I felt a whip of laser coming inches across from my face. She really needs to start practicing her freaking aiming. I watch as she holds tightly to the blaster gun and sighs in relief when she notices it's just me.

I kneel down and hold Luke tightly against me, resting my chin over his small shoulder. His arms cross around my neck and he holds me back with urge.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I ask in a rush and feel my hands pull him tighter, almost merging our bodies together. He mumbles a "no" and clings to me.

I have to be faster if I want to get ourselves out of there alive and in pieces. I hold him up and place both of his legs around my waist, looking back at (Y/N) who watches the closed door, apprehensive.

She looks back at me for a slight second, nodding before preparing herself to walk out of the room.

"Thank you" I mumble almost silently when I stare back at her, both of us getting in position.

We ran across the hallway looking for any kind of cover, while I used my free hand to deflect the blasts and hit them where I could. Whereas (Y/N) attempts to aim and shoot them, miserably failing at it. But at least she's trying. I get to one of the giant metal doors that leads us to the underground, where we keep gears and machines running. There isn't really a path to follow under there, giving us time to reach outside the hangar.

We are met with a couple of battle droids, reaching out to them with Luke still on my hold, while he keeps his head low on my neck and his arms still around my body. I take a sharp inhale and decide to pass him over to her. I have to do it fast otherwise I'll regret it. She darts her eyes at me with furrowed brows and a concerned look, but still does so.

She realizes what I'm on to when I grasp the blaster out of her hand and start to shoot them while using my lightsaber at the same time. The spinning helps me get through the blasts, giving me advantage when I finally beat them down. But there are screaming and rumbling on the other side of the hangar, our teammates fighting them off as well as trying to get rid of their attack.

I step forward trying to figure out a way of getting them down quicker, but my plans get interrupted when something blows them up into flames. My mouth hangs open when I snap my head to the left and watch a ship as it fires off another laser cannon over them.

We all watch as whoever is in charge starts to get off, turning the aircraft around and speeding up in seconds. When I look back to the blown up droids, I notice they took down each one of them and the screaming has finally stopped.

We were safe. Whatever that was, they saved us.

From the distance, I see Poe and Cal running towards us. The redhead seems to be a little beaten but could still stand up, even though his face was covered in small cuts and splits, which was manageable. The pilot, on the other hand, kept holding his side, while his head was wrapped in cloth. You could still see fresh blood spreading against it.

"Holy shit" Poe was out of breath, he dropped all his weight over my shoulder where he kept his hand rested on. "Holy shit"

Holy shit indeed. I should tell him this battle is still nothing compared to what he was about to do.

I snake an arm under his body and lift him up, supporting him while we walk slowly. Louise walks past me still carrying Luke as she carefully uses her free hand to rest on Cal's face.

"Jesus, Cal. Are you okay?" She asks him, concerned about his injuries even though he gives her a nod.

Her thumb ghosts over his cheek, and he holds her hand with both of his, squeezing it. Kestis gives her a sided hug, ruffling Luke's hair.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Poe grunts next to me and I give him a quick look.

"What is it?"

"I don't know, I sense something... weird" He murmurs, using my shoulder for support. "I think it's jealousy"

"What the fuck, Poe?" The pilot is holding a cheeky grin on his face, and I feel my jaw clenching.

"Is that even an emotion you have? Is it possible?" He asks and I dig my mechanic fingers into his shoulder blade. "Ow! Ow! Okay, I'm sorry!"

"Shut up, before I change my mind and feed you to the Ewoks" I hear him chuckling, even though he's definitely in pain.

"Ewoks and Wookies love me, you're gonna have to try harder" Poe muttered.

I swat my hand over his head carefully, not wanting to hurt him even more than I wish I could. "I'll handle you to the fucking First Order next time"

He opens his mouth with an offended look and I display a victorious smirk at him.

There are dozens of injured people at the medical bay, it's definitely going to be a difficult job for all the medics, we were probably going to have to ask for a backup. Both him and Cal get assisted, while we watch them leave our sight. I feel Luke's small hands grab my neck, pulling himself against my body once again.

I shift his weight and whisper him some comforting words. He was really disturbed and I feel bad he had to live this shit. From the corner of my eye, I see (Y/N) trying to get rid of the dried blood from her trembling hands. I reach over and hold her wrist gently as she looks over me with a confused look.

Yes, I hate her sometimes, and she annoys me a lot. But I need to be friendly over the situation.

"We're fine, we're safe now" I speak through a comforting tone and she nods.

"Wasn't prepared for all of this" She tries to keep her head up, but her lips form into a thin line and I know she's in shock.

"I know, we never really are" My flesh hand gives her a reassurance squeeze and I feel my skin burn.

I can't handle the touch. I mean, I can handle touching my son. But when it comes to a woman, I just can't. It still reminds me of her. I jolt it back and try to cover up my reaction. Poe fucking ruined it for me. How can I be jealous of her if we can barely stand each other? This is probably a nonsense statement.

She doesn't say another word, holding her body with affliction.

I clear my throat before I choke out another "thank you". She glances up at me again, this time surprise washed over her face. "Thank you for taking care of him when I wasn't here. And for reminding him about trust"

This is a bit of a big deal to me. As much as I try to keep my distance from her, she keeps being pulled back like a damn magnet. I force myself to stay away from her but things always take a turn and we're once again facing each other. It gives me anxiety, and it's not a good one. If there's even a good kind of anxiety. It makes me feel like I'm taking many steps back after struggling with my reality.

I don't deserve someone in my life anymore, except Luke. All I did was hurt the people I love the most, and if I can keep them alive I can't allow myself to be too close to them. I mean, all of them. I don't want to be a friend for Cal, or Poe. I don't want to be a friend for (Y/N) either. This was an exception, she had to do it because I wasn't there for him. But I won't let it happen again.

And what happened today at the Temple was my fault. Whoever got killed or injured, it was because of me. It was because I still go after those who hurt me before. And General Grievous won't stop until he gets to me. I need to work on getting to him first before it's too late for me. I have to do this alone, this is my fight. I won't have anyone's blood in my hands anymore.

Only my own.

@adorbzliz @himesuedi @kingdomhate @cl0esblogg @littlecoffeenerd @readingthingsonhere @js-favnanadoongi @twilightzone24

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

STAR WARS JUKEBOX ROULETTE

Hello Lovelies,

Here is the first fic request... somewhat request. Anyway, @firstofficerwiggles thanks for the submission.

Love oo.

HOW LONG WILL I LOVE YOU?

Warnings: Unrequited love, incarceration, disguise, surrounding Season 2 Episode 14 of TCW. I think that's it if I miss anything please let me know.

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Your heart called out to him. 

You begged and pleaded within your own mind for him to just turn to look at you. 

You wished those cerulean eyes would turn and look at you the way he looked at her right now. 

But you weren’t Satine, you’ve never seen the smile he flashes at her directed towards you. 

You wish you could will your feelings away. You wished you didn’t love him as much as you do, but he was Obi-wan. He was your Obi. He’d always been your Obi. Ever since you both were younglings training together until Qui-gon Jinn took him as an apprentice, and then everything changed. 

You didn’t see him again for years, even though you thought about him every day. 

You thought your friendship meant more, but now years later, a war later, a lifetime of experiences later, and you were still the one he trusted more than anyone else. It was the only reason you stood with him in disguise as you both tried to help Satine.

“The Republic guards are hunting you…” Obi-wan’s voice broke through your thoughts as you looked between the two of them. You need to focus on the here and now and not on the pain your heart is feeling currently. 

“… take the disk to Padme.”

You listened as Satine decided to surrender herself so Obi-wan would be able to deliver the disk, you saw the worry on Obi-wan’s face, and you knew regardless of what happened, you would love him. You would love him until the stars were no longer above you. You would love him until the sea no longer washed up on the sand.  You would love him, even if he never loved you. So you knew the minute you saw the worry on his face, you would do all you could to alleviate it. 

“I’ll go with her Obi-wan” you spoke up, still keeping vigilant of your surroundings. 

“What?” He turned to look at you.

“I’ll go with her, say I captured her and stay with her until her name’s been cleared. It’ll ease your worry and it will make sure she’s treated correctly.”

He didn’t say anything, he simply nodded his thanks as he looked into your eyes, and for a brief second you thought … didn’t matter what you thought. It would never be what you wanted it to be. 

A short time later, Satine was in custody, you were keeping watch over here, and Obi-wan had delivered the disk to Padme. As soon as the truth came out, Satine was released. Everything seemed to work out all too easily.

As you and Obi-wan lingered in the Chancellor’s office with Satine, you started to understand why Obi-wan loved her. Her unshakable faith in her people, her determination, her ability to rile him up, and her ability to be gentle. It made sense. Even as she brought up a lot of the answered questions that lingered in the air, her mindfulness and her ability to get to the heart of the matter was rather impressive. 

You stood beside Obi-wan the entire time, even as he escorted Satine back to her ship and watched her board. His eyes never faltered. 

“So that’s Satine,” you stated now that it was just the two of you on the docking platform. After all the stories you heard from Obi-wan about her, you understood why she’d been his first love. 

“That’s Satine.”

“Impressive woman.”

“Yes, she is.” Obi-wan stated, turning to look at you, “She was a path I did not follow.”

You turned to look him in the eyes, now that her transport was just another spec amongst the million of other specs travelling around Coruscant, “Do you regret it?”

“Hmmm,” he gently stroked his beard as he thought about it, “Does one ever regret breathing?”

“No.”

“Then why should I regret a decision I believed was right at the time. Life is never as easy as it seems, sometimes the path that is set before you, is not because you wish for it, but rather because it’s what’s available and the right thing to do.”

You couldn’t help smirk as you looked at him, all that came to your mind at that moment was one question that continued to plague you, ‘How long will I love you?’ 

“You talk pretty smoothly for a Jedi.” You teased, “So what all those words basically meant, was that had you a chance you would change your mind and stay with her.”

Obi-wan shook his head as he let out a chuckle, “No, my dear.” He moved closer to you, “What I’m saying is, I wish another path had been presented to me, a long time ago.” His eyes never left yours, as he wished you could understand what he meant, what he hoped you could read in his heart as he looked at you. 

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

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[slotmachines-fearofgod]

i am a servant of the people and the people wanted more cody and ahsoka (YIPPIE) so here's the WIP i alluded to in my post order 66 AU brainstorm post hehe:

She found him a few months after he abandoned his post. 

She was older than he remembered. He hadn’t seen her since she was sixteen, almost two years ago. Her leaving the Jedi temple had been the last time he’d ever seen her, her small form outlined by the sun as she walked away from the only path she’d ever known. 

He and Rex had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs for their cue to go up and celebrate her return. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the look of shock and misery on Rex’s face when his vod’ika marched right past them, barely able to look them in the eyes. 

She had the same look in her eyes now that she did then. Tired but not quite defeated. On the verge of something that could take her beyond the stars or crush her beneath its foot. 

“Are you here to kill me?”

He’d hidden on Endor. It was far from his last known location and he had so many contacts courtesy of his time in the military that it had been easy to hire a ship to drop him off here. He’d had to switch vessels a few times, scrambling the codes just in case. 

“No.” 

Her sabers told a different story. They were white, not green like he remembered. Once upon a time he knew what that meant. 

Regardless of the ghosts of the past, they were drawn, held in a defensive stance. He’d seen her fight countless times, knew how fast she could move, knew that once upon a time he could’ve stood a chance, but not now. He was too old, too achey, too strained from a lifetime of giving and receiving pain. 

Ahsoka looked at him, the deep blue and stark white of her montrals standing out against the darkness that threatened to consume them both, “I wanted to see if it was true.”

“That I survived?”

“That you killed Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Cody froze, the words like a punch to the gut. He’d heard the words repeated over and over. He’d been given a medal for his quick thinking and decisive action against the traitors of the Empire. He knew he did it. He knew.

Still, he couldn’t help but think of a smaller version of the girl in front of him, stepping off a transport fresh from Coruscant. His Jedi had been the first to welcome her, so desperately wanting another padawan, a chance to redeem himself from his failure the first time around. Cody didn’t know how many photos he himself had taken of Ahsoka flinging herself into a hug or the three of them huddled together around a battle station. 

Cody raised his head high, his blaster still safely tucked away in its holder. If death came by her hand, it would be a merciful fate. 

“I did.”

Wooley pulled the trigger. He fired the shot that sent Cody’s one and only hope tumbling down to his doom. But Cody gave the order. He knew well enough by now, after years of fighting, the responsibility lay with him. 

Besides, Wooley was long gone by now. He’d left them ten hours later in a locked room with a blaster to his head. 

“Then he’s really gone?” Ahsoka asked, a slight tilt to her head. He remembered that habit from a different lifetime. 

“Yes,” Cody said, forcing himself to remain steady. He’d delivered news of grief before, it being full of his own should make no difference this time. 

To his surprise, the glow of the sabers receded. For a moment it was just Cody and Ahsoka, both entangled in the darkness of the night on Endor, where even the stars could not pierce the thick foliage above their heads. Strange noises beckoned to them both, calls of relief from a life neither of them could believe had become their reality. 

“I thought he left me.”

Cody couldn’t see her, but he could hear the choked agony behind her words. 

“It was my fault,” he assured her.

The blue glow of a communications device appeared between them, held aloft in Ahsoka’s hand. On it stood the crisp clear vision of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

It was almost enough to bring Cody to his knees.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi: trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple. That time has passed, and our future is uncertain. Avoid Coruscant. Avoid detection. Be secret... but be strong. We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always.”

Cody felt a tear slip down his face. He knew. Somehow he’d known. He’d warned the rest, helped them get out and escape. 

“I’m sorry,” Cody croaked, his voice full of ruin, “I’m so sorry.”

Ahsoka watched him, her eyes hard and unrelenting in the blue light. She had no sympathy for him. 

“How did he get this message out if you killed him?”

Cody shook his head, his hands starting to shake, “I don’t know.”

“Where is his body?”

“We - we never found it,” air was coming to him with more and more difficulty. A hand came up to his chest, clutching at the phantom pain threatening to pulverize his heart. “The Emperor told us he had confirmation. He told us he was dead.”

“Why?” Ahsoka pressed, “Why assure you of something you could’ve found yourselves?”

Cody shook his head again, “I don’t know.”

Something was wrong with him. It had become more and more like this now that the war was done and it was just him alone with his mind. He’d hear the snap of a twig and lock down his hideout, thinking battle droids had discovered his location. He’d see his reflection in the mirror late at night on accident and jump, thinking the rest of his brothers had finally found him, that they were going to drag him back there and make him like them. 

Make him blank. Make him devoid of himself. Make him into a tool. 

“Aayla Secura,” Ahsoka began in a cold voice, her wrath turning its focus to him, “Luminara Unduli, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Stass Allie, Plo Koon. All dead because of your brothers.”

Bly…gods above Bly. Cody prayed he wasn’t the one. He prayed he wasn’t the one that took the shot. And Wolffe - Cody couldn’t imagine what Wolffe would’ve done. Did do upon waking. Upon experiencing that horrible moment of vertigo that the 212th had felt all together. Experiencing a single moment of tethered grief, hours delayed though it might have been. 

A noise of raw pain escaped Cody’s lips. It was wordless, not a cry or proclamation, but a tiny noise that any passersby would’ve assumed to be a wounded or hurt animal.

“My family,” Ahsoka’s voice was shaking, “I have to keep them alive. So I need to know - is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s name one I should add to my list?”

Cody squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. He knew. He knew it in his heart. If Obi-Wan Kenobi had survived, the Emperor would not have told him in person of his death. Those cold hands, unnaturally pale and scarred, would not have pressed a smooth medal of honor onto his uniform. He wouldn’t have had to hold back stuttering breaths as a coldness choked him, the knowledge that his light, his love, his one hope in this galaxy, was forever out of his reach threatening to take him under. 

And it was his fault. 

“You’re supposed to be dead,” Cody croaked, finally opening his eyes to look at Ahsoka, “An entire venator went down to make sure of it.”

Ahsoka’s face darkened, some twisted grief taking hold of her, “I know.”

Cody knew what that meant. She’d been aboard. She’d seen it go down. She’d watched them all die. All of her friends, her soldiers, the men that she ate with everyday for two and half years, the men she served with and grew alongside of. They were as much her family as the Jedi were. 

He didn’t want to ask about Rex. He didn’t want to see what it would do to either of them. 

“So what now?” Cody asked, scrambling to regain some sense of the commander in him. The version of him that could do this without a permanent tremor in his left hand, without attacks of panic and confusion, without the fog that hung over him as his now constant companion. 

Ahsoka squared her shoulders and gods she really was young, wasn't she? Just eighteen years old and here she was, throwing herself into the maw of something Cody didn’t think he’d ever fully understand. 

“Do you have somewhere we can talk?” The request threw him off guard, but he nodded and turned around. 

He was surprised when she fell into lockstep beside him. 

They were almost the same height now. 

Cody moved through the thick underbelly of the forest. He’d long since learned the pathways different prey animals took, knowing that was the safest way without cutting clear paths for his enemies to follow. Ahsoka followed him easily, her natural traits helping her move silently through the brush in a way he never could. 

They didn’t speak on their way to his shelter. Both were thrumming with questions, fears, anxieties that were best not spoken aloud where the trees could hear. They had been trained too well and for too long to do something so stupid as that. 

Cody had managed to make a small adobe style domicile. They’d taught all sorts of shelter making on Kamino and it had served him well, allowing him to dig out a small space and form a dome over top out of mud and clay that he’d already excavated. It was small, only one room, but the two of them sat comfortably. Cody got to work on the fire, waiting for Ahsoka to speak. 

“Have you ever had a brain scan done?”

Cody thought for a moment, trying to remember. 

“Probably at some point.”

“What level?”

Cody looked at her curiously, not understanding the point of this, “I’ve never had an injury that constituted anything above level 2, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Ahsoka blew out a breath, for the first time looking nervous. 

A spark caught, quickly taking to the dried grass and sticks Cody used as kindling. 

“You remember Fives.”

It wasn’t a question. They both knew Cody would never forget any of the Domino squad, not for as long as he lived.

“He was right.”

Cody looked up at Ahsoka. Her expression was serious, not that he’d expected it to be anything else.

“About what?”

Ahsoka’s hand went up to one of her lekku, before twitching and falling back to her lap. Cody knew what she’d been searching for anyway. 

“There are chips inside of your heads,” Ahsoka said slowly, “Not the behavioral ones. Another. It was meant to be activated when - when the time was right.”

Cody’s stomach dropped. 

“The Jedi didn’t betray the Republic,” Ahsoka said, “And you didn’t betray them. The Emperor took control of your heads. Order 66 was an activation code, one you couldn’t have stopped even if you wanted to.”

Cody felt like the floor had fallen out from beneath him. Judging by the look on Ahsoka’s face, he looked like it too. 

“Cody…it wasn’t your fault.”

Tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall. He knew if that happened, it wouldn’t stop, and he’d never appeared weak in front of Ahsoka before. She was a child and had already been through too much. 

His shoulders slumped, like Cody had been strung tight on a wire that was just now being cut. His whole body shook, his breaths coming in stuttering stop-starts and his eyes flicking to every dark corner that the fire couldn’t quite reach. 

He couldn’t have stopped it if he wanted to. 

It was always going to be like this.

There was never a future where he and Obi-Wan were going to be happy. 

“I’m sorry,” Ahsoka said, her voice small and defeated, “Your family are victims just as much as mine.”

The whole venator went down with her. The whole venator went down and she was trapped aboard with an army of mindless killers. The whole venator went down and his baby brother was on it, trapped inside the walls of his own head, holding a blaster to the girl he’d once told Cody he’d never let any harm come to. 

“Oh gods,” Cody choked out, “Oh gods.”

The pain threatened to take him. His chest was almost painful in its hollowness, his stomach roiling with nausea and hurt. His people, his brothers. Slaves to the great conductor of a broken symphony. Mindless, used against their will. Nothing more than weapons to be aimed and fired at whoever dared oppose the Empire.

They were nothing. 

They had always been nothing. 

“Cody,” a hand settled on his knee, and from it warmth escaped. For the first time in months, Cody felt something other than cold. “They’re waking up. Your brothers are waking up. There’s a movement -”

“Stop it,” Cody snapped, though the effect was lost as his tears finally began to spill, “I don’t - just stop.”

Ahsoka withdrew her hand and it took everything in Cody not to keen at the loss of heat. 

He didn’t want to fight anymore. He was tired, too tired to ever take up command again. 

How many had he seen die? Did none of it matter? They were just pawns, just pieces of a game to be moved around in order to undermine the Jedi. His entire existence was there to hurt the Jedi. The Jedi - the only ones who ever gave a semblance of a shit about them. And the whole point of the clones’ existence was to murder them in cold blood. 

“Rex wants to see you.”

Cody’s entire being froze. 

“He doesn’t know I found you. He’s been looking for you since Crosshair defected and told us you left.”

Crosshair defected.

“Wolffe too. He and Rex joined up a while back. Pretty sure one of your old commanders is with them.”

Boil? No, Boil was still with the Empire working as a scout.

It didn’t matter, he reminded himself, he put himself here for a reason. Whatever life he lived from here on out, he deserved. 

“Cody,” Ahsoka called his attention again and this time when Cody looked at her, she looked scared. It took him a moment to work out that she was scared for him. “Rex is alive. I took him off the ship with me. His chip is gone, he’s okay.”

Cody stood abruptly, stumbling outside and making it a mere three steps from the doorway before throwing up. He shook, his hands on his knees, as he gagged and spit, his mind and body revolting against him in a horrible display of unity. 

A hand rubbed over his back, the way Ponds used to do oh so long ago. Back when module scores and breaking curfew were their tallest troubles. Did they have the chips even then? Were they doomed from the start? How cruel, to never even let them begin before deciding how they would end. 

“Can I tell him you’re here?” Ahsoka’s voice was soft and concerned. She sounded kind. It made him want to slam his fist into something. “He’s worried. They both are.”

Cody shook his head no. He didn’t deserve to get to have that, not when so many of his brothers were alone and drifting. Not when Obi-Wan, his general, his Jedi, his sweetheart, lay broken and defeated at the hands of a force neither of them could escape. 

No, his fate would be the same as the rest of the galaxy’s. He would not allow himself the tenderness of brotherhood, not after all he’d done in the name of nothing. 

“Go,” Cody croaked, his voice hoarse from bile and tears, “They’ll find you if you stay.”

Ahsoka’s hand didn’t pull away, “He misses you. He misses his big brother.”

That was playing fucking dirty and she knew it. 

“Go,” Cody said more forcefully, “Get out of here.”

“And where will you go?” Ahsoka asked gently, “When they come knocking, where will you run to?”

“I won’t,” Cody panted, “I’ll accept it.”

There was a deep sigh from behind him. Cody didn’t take back his words. He didn’t want to lie to her, not after all she’d been through at their hands.

“I’m going to keep looking for Obi-Wan,” some of the strength returned to Ahsoka’s voice, “I don’t think he’s dead, so there must be a reason he’s still hidden. If you joined me, he might -”

“No,” Cody said quickly, spitting one last time and standing back to his full height, “I’m not doing that to myself.”

“Cody -”

“Ahsoka,” Cody turned to face her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. He was once again struck by how warm she was, “He’s gone. By my hand or the Emperor’s. I can’t - I can’t let myself think otherwise. I can’t pin my hope on a lie.”

Ahsoka stepped closer to him, a furrow appearing between her eyebrows. It reminded him of Skywalker. “It’s not a lie. He escaped long enough to get a message out. If he’d known before he would’ve said something to someone, would’ve at least had you de-chipped. If his body had been at the temple we would’ve found it, it would’ve been reported. But all that remained of him was this message.”

Cody shook his head. He couldn’t do this to himself. He couldn’t let himself think these things. 

“Come with me. Just for a little bit. If we find something, stay longer, if not I’ll drop you right back here.”

Cody scrubbed a hand over his face, wincing at the dirt and sweat rough underneath his palm. 

“I won’t even tell Rex.”

Cody sighed and looked at her. She looked earnest, at least. Not as defensive and angry as earlier.

“Please,” he suddenly realized Ahsoka was begging, “come with me.”

Cody looked down at her, considering. “How long have you been on your own?”

It seemed he hit the nail on the head. Ahsoka’s face fell, just for a moment, before she recovered her composure. It reminded him of Obi-Wan. 

“Rex and I split up after the venator,” she admitted, “I tried civilian life for a while, but everywhere I went people died. It’s been a while.”

Since she left the temple the first time, Cody translated for himself. 

Cody looked down at her, weighing his options. He didn’t believe Obi-Wan was alive. Even his general could not escape death in its entirety. But Ahsoka was on a crash course. She was smart, dedicated, and clever enough to find him and keep tabs on Rex’s operation. She was also angry and alone, left behind by people she’d once turned her back on. Her guilt likely matched or exceeded his. 

Cody breathed out slowly, “Two months.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened.

“That’s all I can promise.”

Ahsoka nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll take it.”

And then he was being forcefully dragged into a hug. 

She was finally tall enough that Cody could rest his chin in the space between her montrals. He wondered distantly if she’d outgrow him one day, before remembering how Shaak Ti towered over them all and decided that was very likely. He couldn’t tell which one of them was shaking harder, but decided to ignore it. This was the first time in months he’d allowed himself to touch anyone beyond a handshake here or there. 

“You’re warm,” Ahsoka murmured into his chest, a soft sigh escaping her, “I don’t remember the last time I was warm.”

Cody’s eyes widened, but he said nothing. Just ran a hand over her lekku in the best display of comfort he could give. 

“Two months,” Cody whispered, “I can only promise that.”

“It’ll be enough,” Ahsoka’s hands clenched in the back of Cody’s clothes. He understood what she wasn’t saying.

It’ll have to be enough.

[gffa]

Was Obi Wan happy being a Jedi, or did he wish he persuade a relationship with Satine? Sometimes I see in those "nothing went wrong" AU's, Obi Wan leaves the Jedi to be with Satine, is that accurate to how he actually felt? Did he wish he left to be with her? Or was he okay with the way things were?

There's no smoking gun of an answer on this kind of question, because we have so little information on it and character interpretations are often so, so subjective. What we do know is: - Obi-Wan had plenty of chances to leave the Jedi Order if he wanted, he had the chance with Satine, he had the chance every year of his life after that, etc. - Obi-Wan says he would have left to be with her, if she had asked. This literally all we know of the conversation that's held when there's a possibility she might die and she wanted him to be romantic, we don't see that moment of decision itself, only the tense conversation onboard the Coronet. - In The Phantom Menace, he says he'll leave to train Anakin. In Obi-Wan & Anakin, he says if Anakin truly decides to leave, he'll leave with him to continue his training. - In Padawan, Obi-Wan very much wants the life of a Jedi, he has a chance to live a more free life with a bunch of other kids, but he loves the Jedi, he feels the call to the Force and the galaxy and the Jedi, he wants this path. - Obi-Wan encourages Anakin to stay with the Jedi when he's having issues with Rush Clovis and Padme. Ultimately, there's no evidence that Obi-Wan is unsatisfied with being a Jedi and plenty of evidence that he believes in the Jedi path and he lives by the Jedi beliefs and ways, and finds satisfaction in that. Does he regret that he couldn't also live a life with Satine? I tend to think so, yes, but that he always knew he could leave and he's only tempted into doing so when it's for someone else, not because he doesn't want to be a Jedi. In both cases with Anakin, he much prefers to remain a Jedi, just that he's willing to leave, if he must. Or in Obi-Wan Kenobi, he spends years trying to deny that he's still a Jedi, that those ways are done and over, the Jedi are gone. But ultimately we see that his heart doesn't really believe that, he wants to be a Jedi, because as soon as he is one again, as soon as he re-embraces the Jedi ways and his duty as a Jedi, he's so much more settled and happy. For me, even if everything went well during the Clone Wars, if the Sith were defeated, if the Separatists stopped invading, if Satine lived, I don't think Obi-Wan would have left the Jedi Order. Almost no Jedi left after becoming a Knight, it was almost always in the Padawan stages, because a huge part of becoming a Knight was understanding yourself and what you wanted, that you really, truly wanted this life, that you were dedicated to this life. Obi-Wan would have gone through the self-reflection to understand, regardless of whether he left to be with Satine or not, did he want to remain a Jedi, he had to genuinely make a choice. You can't half-ass being a Jedi, it doesn't work. Obi-Wan had to commit. And we see that he chose being a Jedi. He wanted to be a Jedi, just by dint of how the worldbuilding works, in my opinion. Even if everything went perfectly, he was an adult now, not a young Padawan still figuring himself out. He knew who he was, he was Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

[obislittleone]

CWM Oneshot: The Toil of Darth Vader

Hi, yes, this is my gift to you on may the fourth!! it is a sad and terrible oneshot surrounding anakin because i just felt like it.

Warnings: so much bro, just... so much. self hatred, depression, mentions of death and murder, mentions of self harm?? it's not traditional self harm but it still counts ig...

Summary: Darth Vader is the hatred that Anakin Skywalker exudes, but where does the hatred come from? (Obi-Wan is not mentioned in this, it's more of a little diddy about Anakin (Vader) and the women he used to have in his life, and the repercussions of not having them in his life.)

anyways happy may the fourth!!

He was the embodiment of evil.

His dark nature and tall stature made him the most intimidating creature in the universe. He dares not say human anymore, because that would mean he looked like one. He hadn't looked or felt human since the day his life ended.

He had glimpses of when he was alive before this, memories he wished he could burn like the skin of his body, torturous reminders of everything he had, everything he gave up. He knew it was all too late. How could he himself be redeemed when it was by his hand all redemptive acts were killed off.

He feels grief, and it fuels him. It fuels his anger and his hatred, and by this, he lives. Not as he wants to, but as he has to. He has to have power... but what is power without gain? The last ten years he stands to gain nothing for himself and everything for the empire. That was the plan all along, wasn't it? For Palpatine to use him as his primary enforcer and guard dog?

He knows all these things, and they plague him. He regrets his every move of every day, but he still goes on. He kills people, viscously, ruthlessly. Innocent people that should never know suffering, he inflicts terror upon. And he does it to punish himself.

He was meant to be the embodiment of good. The only thing that stood a chance in bringing balance to the force. The balance has not been made, and he wreaks havoc to make it worse. He does not deserve to, after all this time, make amends. He doesn't deserve his redemption. He wants to feel pain and suffering and hatred and malice for the rest of his life, because it is the complete opposite of what should have been. One wrong decision, and it cost him his life.

Everyone he ever loved. Everyone he ever trusted and wished happiness upon.

His beautiful wife, and the children that never were. His closest friend and sister. His padawan, an ally he looked closely after.

All of these are dead to him, though he does not know of Ahsoka. He assumes after everything that happened, being mounted on an aircraft with half of the 501st, she stood no chance.

He sees all three, visions of the force, often memories that refuse to leave his mind. Some are just hallucinations that he finds are both a comfort and torture to him. Comforting because, he would give anything to see their faces again, but torture because, he is the reason he knows he never will.

He sees Padme in everything that is beautiful. Every lush planet he visits with the notion of destruction, he stops to look around. See the frightened faces of the people who could be smiling. He sees the nature of these places and remembers how she used to look out at scenery that was similar. She had such a romantic way about her, with everything she spoke. Even in the senate, she looked for the goodness... always.

He wonders how she ever saw it in him, even from the beginning. He was always destined for this, for the cruelty and brutality. He thinks it, anyway.

He sees Ahsoka in people's humanity. In the aftermath of the empire's crushing stomps, there are helping hands willing to lend themselves to another. There are still good people in the galaxy, and he thinks it's up to him to ruin that, because he is the ruiner of goodness and peace and serenity.

Ahsoka would look at him in such shame if she even caught whiff of what he'd become. He imagines she would try her best to abolish every aspect of him, and she was right to do so... but still if it ever happened, he could not lose. He can't let himself have the satisfaction of letting compassion consume him. He's too gone for it.

He sees his sister in fiery flames, in things that burn red and hot and uncontrollable with passion... but whenever the fire burns out he remembers the way she did, her fire still burning through those that she carried to safety. He remembers his last exchange with her often, the look in her eye one of fear and distrust and complete heartbreak.

His best friend, his most loyal ally, even to the end. Amidst the wreckage of a burning Temple full of slaughtered Jedi, she came back to save him... but he'd been dead already. Anakin Skywalker died long before she did, and this creature, this thing is what remains.

He sees her the most often, sitting at the end of a dark hallway, looking at him with toil and anger. He finds himself speaking to the apparitions when no one is near.

"You must leave me," he pleads, the words always met with a reply in her own voice, though it's echoing and in shambles.

"There's no leaving what one has never arrived to."

"Will I ever know peace?" He sometimes begs, but he knows what the answer is, he created it.

"You will reap what you have sewn. I am only here to remind you..."

And still he suffers. These visions of her are never happy. He remembers happy things about Ahsoka and Padme. He curses his mind when he does, but it's still possible. He never manages to see a smile on her face like he used to. It brings him more pain but he uses that as well. He has endless fuel for power in the dark side, so long as he remains miserable and full of hatred.

He hates so many things. But most of all himself, and it will never change. He is not the long dead Anakin Skywalker, he is what remains.

The lord of a darkness that has consumed him whole, Darth Vader.

-

lol i wrote this in like 20 minutes i just had so many thoughts.

[tennessoui]

I fucking LOVE the most recent playmaker snipper (kisses to distract) because you can see EXACTLY how Obi-Wan becomes who he does. He kisses Quinlan knowing it will get the man killed, because Quinlan's life is not as important as Obi-Wan getting to stay with Anakin. Yes, it was spur of the moment, but it's still a decision he made and has to live with. And then when Anakin asks him why, and he's like (1/?)

"I told you I was cold ... as if he’d been so cold he found another man’s body to keep him warm in the minutes he was away from Anakin." This is ABSOLUTELY the man who calls out Cody's name in revenge because Anakin comes home late for Christmas. This is the beginning of that monster, and it's so so perfectly constructed to play to all his insecurities. I just... chef's fucking kiss, kit, you've done it again (2/2)

(in reference to this playmaker au snippet)

so i love love love all the playmaker stuff i've written that's set in the distant future where it's clear that obi-wan has been successfully warped into a monster that very nicely matches anakin's and now he's kidnapping babies and violently killing home intruders and also his own father

but ugh there's something i love the most about the ficlets/scenarios where he's just starting out in the mob and is either totally innocent (like the very first snippet) or in the midst of his transformation

like he totally regrets kissing vos because he knows that means vos is going to die--but in the moment the only thing he cares about is not leaving anakin and doing whatever he can to stay by his side which is objectively insane!! and then he does this a few months later all over again to maul when maul is threatening to tell vader that obi-wan is a rat. it's the same action, same kiss of death, it's driven by the same gut-instinct fear of being abandoned by the person he loves and it's so fucked up of him to do not just once to a guy he actually likes but twice!!

i bet anakin spends a long time expecting obi-wan to try and run post-leaving the police department, once the realization of all that he's done sets into him, and he's ready to drag the city the way you drag a lake in order to get him back (aka total destruction if that's what it takes) but obi-wan would literally never leave him even just to tease

he'll cut his hair and steal a baby and make anakin's life incredibly complicated in punishment for anakin, say, not doing his fucking taxes, but he'd never ever actually leave - he's perpetually a little scared that anakin would just let him go

(and anakin would never, but it's also best if obi-wan never knows that for sure. best for anakin at least)

[thethingsido4]

Decision

This is my story for the 2024 Jinnobi Challenge that I have been looking forward to so much! I have no clue how this all works, so I just say that there are no warnings needed. Unless Force Ghost Qui-Gon makes you too sad to read a story with him. In that case, you've been warned!

Please enjoy!

“Obi-Wan.”

The twin suns of Tatooine cast a harsh light over the endless dunes, and their scorching rays penetrated even the shadows within the cave in which Obi-Wan Kenobi had made his current home. For seven months he had lived here to watch over Anakin’s son from afar, still carrying the weight of his failures on his weary shoulders. The middle aged man once again sat cross-legged, sunk deep in a meditation as he so often did. Exactly how Qui-Gon had taught him to do. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady, yet his mind was a tempest of regrets and unspoken chaos. It made Qui-Gon uneasy to feel that Obi-Wan was so confused and… hurt?

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon repeated gently, his voice filled with warmth but shaken with concern. "It's good to see you again."

Obi-Wan did not open his eyes, nor did he respond. He remained still, his face a mask of stoic determination. Qui-Gon's smile faded fully now and was replaced by a look of worry. He would never have disturbed a meditation that was obviously so urgently needed. Instead, Qui-Gon chose to vanish and leave Obi-Wan alone to find whatever peace melting with the Force could gift him with.

---------------oOo--------------

Various days had passed even though it had not felt like it at all. Being one with the Force connected Qui-Gon with the whole universe but also meant that concepts like time or life and death were lost to him. He only knew how long it had truly been when he noticed Obi-Wan’s beard having grown longer than he normally liked it.

He had intended to wait for a call, a longing thought of him even, but Qui-Gon felt the curious sensation that he simply could not wait any longer. There was an ache that only being with Obi-Wan could cure. He had stopped to convince himself that it was any other feeling but the one he knew bound him to his former padawan. No, he could wait no longer.

Qui-Gon appeared with his ethereal form shimmering in the dim light within the cave, bringing some brightness and colour to it. His former padawan stood only five steps away, near the left wall where he was preparing some tea. Their positions made it impossible that Obi-Wan had not noticed his appearance. It was surprisingly painful not to be noticed once again like it had been for so many years that he had reached out to his beloved in vain. But he blinded himself with defensive ignorance. Obi-Wan had indeed perceived his presence. His beloved chose to ignore him, and this hurt even more.

"Obi-Wan, why do you refuse to speak to me?" he asked, his tone a mix of sorrow and confusion even to his ears.

He reached out with his mind, and even though Obi-Wan's soul was shielded against any intruding touch, his defenses seemed less intense now. There was a shimmer of warmth radiating form it even – and pain.

When the former Jedi turned to look at him, his eyes were filled with a sadness that seemed to steal all warmth away. Qui-Gon felt his form flicker with a trepidation that felt more physical than it had any right to be.

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, Master Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan answered after what felt like eternity. His voice was low and mournful.

What had hurt the one being in the universe that Qui-Gon would have given his all for? And how was it possible that he had not felt it before?

Obi-Wan lowered his walls for just a moment, yet the sadness almost chocked Qui-Gon. It only occurred to him then: His former padawan had addressed him as ‘Master’ again. Not once during the last seven months had he called him that way.

“You are hurting very much, my former padawan,” he addressed Obi-Wan as he believed his beloved wished for the distance that the formal address provided.

“I am. Do not look any deeper into it, though. There is no physical source.”

Qui-Gon took a step closer. He needed the proximity to this man like he had needed air when he had been a living being. "What is the source of your suffering then? Please, make me understand, so I may help easing your pain."

Obi-Wan looked away, his gaze fixed on a distant point beyond the cave's entrance. There was an unfamiliar shimmer in his eyes. Qui-Gon had not seen Obi-Wan cry since he had been a fifteen year old boy. The memory made him feel ashamed. He had failed to protect him back then already.

"I spoke with Grandmaster Yoda," Obi-Wan began, when Qui-Gon had already given up hope for an answer. "He told me something that I wasn't prepared to hear.”

“I wish he would not have spoken to you at all then.” It was true and he tried to saturate any syllable with his sincerity.

The green eyes found his own. Obi-Wan but whispered then. ”He told me that you… were in love with me. Since forever."

The silence that followed was thick with emotions. It could have been a wall, so perfectly did it separate them. Qui-Gon bowed his head, breaking their eye contact. "Obi-Wan, I..."

His beloved interrupted, his voice rising with frustration. "I have been in love with you since I was a teenager, Qui-Gon! And you knew that! You knew even before I told you! I was so ashamed and afraid for so long, I thought I’d die during some nights! And all those years I thought it was unrequited longing, a perversion! But now I learn that you felt the same way! You cheated us out of fulfilled love! We had a chance at happiness! And you threw it away! For what? Pride? Vanity? The Code of the Jedi? Why didn’t you tell me? Even if you never wanted to be with me, didn’t I deserve the truth? I always believed truth meant something to you!"

Tears welled up visibly in Obi-Wan's eyes now, and he quickly wiped them away, but not before Qui-Gon saw them. It was punishment. They stabbed his soul. His heart ached more than ever for the man he had trained once and loved in secret ever after. And he had failed him in more than one way obviously, or Obi-Wan would have been able to meditate away all his anger by now.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said softly, "I could not have told you. As your master and superior, it would have been utterly inappropriate. Our relationship was one of guidance and mentorship. To reveal my feelings would have compromised everything. It would have stood in your way to become the Jedi you now are… and I would have hated myself for that."

Now Obi-Wan's tears broke free, streaming down his cheeks as he cried openly. Had his words hurt his beloved even more? Weren’t they a logical explanation? Weren’t they enough to make him understand why he had done what had needed to be done?

Qui-Gon came closer until there was less than half a step between them. What he would have given to wipe those tears away with his own fingers! He reached out but his hand passed through the beloved body without any contact.

"I know it hurts," Qui-Gon whispered, "and I am so very sorry for the pain I have caused you. But know this, Obi-Wan: my love for you was always pure, always selfless. It was my duty to protect you, to train you, and to prepare you for the challenges you would face. That love, that bond, it was always there, even if it was never spoken out loud. And it shall always be there. If nothing else of me remains one day, it will."

Obi-Wan sobbed, his body shaking with the release of his repressed emotions. "I just... I just wish things had been different."

"If they had been, if we’d been Qui-Gon the librarian and Obi-Wan the farmer, there would have been nothing that could have stood between us. If need be, I would have stolen you away and eloped to wherever you would have wanted to be with me."

There was a last show of tears. The lips that Qui-Gon had wanted to kiss so often parted slightly as to speak words that his beloved had not found yet.

“Nothing,” Qui-Gon repeated in earnest. “Nothing could have come between us. You would have been suffocated by all the love I would have forced upon you.”

“There wouldn’t have been any force needed.”

Ah! There was the smallest of smiles on Obi-Wan’s face. Oh, Force! He was still so beautiful! More so than any sunrise he’d ever seen. This soul shone brighter than a star being born in the skies. Qui-Gon had always been graced by it, long before he had managed to force his ethereal being into a form to be seen and heard by the living again. It had been so much easier for him than Obi-Wan who had survived all those years to be forced into loneliness. Qui-Gon was drowning in a sudden wave of shame and guilt for what he had put his beloved through with his dying wish.

“Please, stop! I can feel your guilt like hands strangling me.”

“Forgive me!”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his eyes sincere and honest. “The time with Anakin was a happy one. Or as happy as it could be considering the circumstances. It was so for many years. I really was… content.”

Another smile appeared on Obi-Wan’s lips and the wish to kiss them was as strong as it had ever been.

Could he achieve that? Train his abilities within the Force to be able to touch gently and caress? What would it take?

It didn’t matter, Qui-Gon concluded. He had eternity to achieve his goal.

“Rest assured that I love you with all my being and shall always do so.”

Obi-Wan’s smile became brighter with these words lowly echoing from the naked walls around them. He truly shone like a sun and he had been his beacon of light for so many years now. Qui-Gon’s heart overflew with emotion and he made sure to guide it through their bond. All shields were down. Obi-Wan lay open to him, all vulnerable and pure and all so beautiful. It could have made Qui-Gon weep, too.

“Will you wait for me?”

“Every day of my life, Master.” Obi-Wan laughed. The old address bubbling from his lips now. “Even though I expect you to come to me every single one of them. Or do you have other business of importance to attend to?”

“I have,” Qui-Gon answered and pushed all of his love and longing into Obi-Wan’s heart to reassure him that he was not only his priority but his reason for existence as “Qui-Gon”. “I will come as often as I can, for as long as I am able to. Although, I cannot say how long it will take me to achieve what I need to achieve or if being with you may hinder my concentration.”

The tea was long forgotten, the water quite possibly too cold by now to enjoy drinking it. Obi-Wan had completely forgotten about it anyway. He was shaking his head again, his forehead showing even more wrinkles as the two suns had already carved into it. “You are still a mystery to me, Qui-Gon Jinn.”

“I will tell you as soon as I can. Please, have trust in me, for I do not wish to be the reason for your disappointment if I fail.”

The smile reappeared, yet weak and somewhat of a lie perhaps. “Just promise me to visit me as often as you feel fit. This place… Well, it tends to be lonely when you are not with me.”

He wanted to apologize again. This time for all the years that Obi-Wan had lost, all the happiness he had had to sacrifice for what Qui-Gon had believed for the greater good of all the universe. It should have been him.

He spoke before Obi-Wan could sense his feelings: “I promise. But know that I am always with you, no matter if you can see or hear me. Look into your soul, and there I shall be.”

“Qui-Gon…”

“I’ll visit you again soon,” he promised and felt an inexplicable amount of hope and enthusiasm rise within him. There was no way that the Force would not guide him to achieve his goal to touch. He had spent fifteen years to create the ethereal form that enabled communication with his beloved one. It had been difficult but manageable. As would the ability to touch be. He was ready to spend the same amount of time squared as long as he could give Obi-Wan but one kiss. “Shine for me.”

Obi-Wan tilted his head but gifted him a real smile now, his eyes twinkling with love. “As you wish, my Master.”

“This address is no longer appropriate,” Qui-Gon countered the smile with his own. “I want to be your “dear”, your ‘beloved’.”

“Return to me quickly then, my beloved.”

It was as sweet as honey and as beautiful as the flowers on Naboo, but eternal in its perfection. He would never tire of bringing this smile back on Obi-Wan’s lips. He felt a happiness wash over him that made him feel dizzy as well as almighty. There was no time to linger in this bliss any longer, though. He needed to meditate and sharpen his exertion of the Force.

He could not wait to show Obi-Wan what he had only been able to tell him about on this fateful day. He would take hold of him more passionately than his former self would have ever allowed himself to and he would kiss Obi-Wan deeply for as long and often as his beloved would desire.

Just wait a little while longer, he begged Obi-Wan without words. Hold out just a little bit longer!   

[marvelstars]

My love wasn´t enough

I was listening to lacrymosa by evanescence on youtube about Anakin and Padme and this phrase describes both of them as characters as well as a couple on EP III the tragedy of their relationship so beutifully.

Out on your own, cold and alone again Can this be what you really wanted, baby?

This is definitely something Padme would tell Anakin once she died and sees Vader trapped in his darkness, Anakin always described feeling cold when he felt the darkside, so now he isn´t just cold, he is frozen by inaction and by his own actions.

Now that you're gone, feel like myself again Grieving the things I can't repair and willing

This pretty much talks about Anakin´s regret after waking up as Vader, his horrific actions feel like a fevered dream but the consequences are quite real, Padme is dead, the Jedi Order is destroyed and his own body is dependant on the machines the emperor put him to keep his alive, he ownes his life to Palpatine the Sith who groomed/abused him but also saved him, he is all he has left but he has recovered part of his conscience. His old fervor for his Mother, Padme, the Jedi and the Republic now turned into tools to keep the Empire and the Emperor safe, he went from being called "shield of the republic" to be the Empire´s sword/fist, all he has left is a cause but just like himself now it´s twisted and burned, because while he previously believed in justice and peace, now he believes in order to achieve peace sacrificing justice.

Do not you blame it on me and set your guilt free I don't wanna hold you back now

Those are pretty much Padme´s last words to him while they were on Mustafar, she still loves him ,wants to save him from the darkside and Palpatine but she can´t no longer be with him.

can't change who I am, not this time I won't lie to keep you near me And in this short life there's no time to waste on giving up

Anakin no longer can deny what he became, he no longer can lie to hide his fall and so he can´t keep either Padme or Obi-Wan near him, he loses both of them, Padme to death, Obi-Wan to bitterness and hate.

My love wasn't enough

THIS is central to Anakin´s fall, it can´t be understood withput involving his love, as a child he believed if he was good enough, loving enough, he could get other to care, to save his mother, his friends and himself from slavery, he went to the Jedi Temple promising to come back out of love, he trained as a Jedi hoping to get the neccesary skills to save his mother, "but love want´s enough" his mother was brutally killed and he almost fell completely to the darkside that night in his anger.

As a Jedi Knight he tried to keep alive his fellow padawans on Jabiim only to see each and everyone of them die around him, believing even Obi-Wan died with them, he tried to help his fellow soldiers, he failed often, he protected Ahsoka as best as he could, she still had to leave and he felt like he failed to protect her, because he thought it was enough to protect her in the battlefield, only to realize he could not protect her from betrayal or from being abandoned by her family in the Jedi Order and she no longer wanted to listen to him because she felt like she could only depend on herself so she left and he let her because she was probably right, it would be good for her but he keep her lightsabers in the hope someday she came back.

So mere thought of losing Padme and his children, knowing his dreams are not just dreams and they always become true as a sort of ancient curse, that was straw that broke the camel's back in his mind. "My Love won´t save you Padme" (It wasn´t enough, it has never been enough) but Vader thinks, power may be enough, and THIS is his fall, when he stopped to believe his love could not do what power could get done, maybe, with power, then we will have peace and then he can´t take back that decision.

And you can blame it on me and set your guilt free And I don't wanna hold you back now, love

This is Anakin on ROTJ, his last thoughts to Luke, Luke showed him how much love, unlimited love, like the one he used to have for his mother, for Padme, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, the Jedi could do if one hold onto it, this brought him back, this awoke his old self for the first and last time in twenty years.

" Go my son, leave me here", he can be free of the burden of defeating the Sith, of killing his father or ending the Empire, Anakin will do it for him, because it never should have been Luke´s responsibility, it was Anakin´s and he is going to be gone after that but rejoins Padme in death and Luke(and Leia) can live their own life now.

Just beautiful video all around

[hesthermay]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐏𝐓 𝟓)

PAIRING: sergeant hunter x fem!oc reader

SUMMARY: the next mission for the bad batch causes some reflection on miri and echo’s parts, and a long overdue conversation is had. hunter and miri finally divulge their true feelings for one another.

WORD COUNT: 4.2k

RATINGS + WARNINGS: general audiences, mature themes, some angst, fluffy ending. female oc, jedi oc, use of she/her, canon typical violence, found family trope. the bad batch time period, follows the timeline of the show.

NOTES: told you i had more on the way. here it is! i wrote the ending for this chapter when i wrote like part 3 but it kept getting pushed bad but HERE WE ARE. enjoy it, take it in, i again have one more on the way

STAR WARS MASTERLIST THE GREAT FIGHT MASTERLIST

Regret had begun to settle in the pit of Miri’s stomach as she sensed the presence of someone just as they rounded the corner into Cid’s bar, narrowly avoiding the shot from Omega’s bow. 

Regret, for she was the one that okayed the decision. Now she was beginning to wonder what could have possibly compelled her to do such a thing, she could practically hear Obi-Wan in her ear nagging about how this was a bad idea as Omega called out an apology to the patron before pulling the bright purple string back once again. The bow was neat, she would give her that; a weapon commonly used by the Zygerrians but one the girl had procured herself on their mission, she would need to learn to use it sooner rather than later. 

Times are different, she thought to herself as she shooed Obi-Wan away. And I’m not you, she snarked, letting her focus land on Omega once again. 

“Steady,” Echo urged as he stood crouched behind her, the one taking point in this lesson. He was an ARC Trooper before he ended up in their Bad Batch, and he had earned that title for a reason so Miri felt it was only fitting and the others soon agreed. “Arms level…and keep your eye on the target.”

Miri couldn’t help but glare slightly at the two regulars that never seemed to do anything but sit in Cid’s bar and spend whatever money they scraped up when they weren’t there. Their cheering and heckling was less than helpful, but alas, she knew when the time came for Omega to really use that bow she would not have the luxury of a quiet background. But, despite their noise her shot landed on the target and she gave Hunter a silent smirk in spite of them. 

But when she was ordered to go again, her excitement shifted to childlike defiance. “But I’ve already hit the target three times,” she argued, looking up at her brother. 

“Out of twelve,” he countered bluntly but not harshly. Her boys were all rough around the edges, but they were never mean. “That’s luck, Omega, not skill.” 

She looked over at Miri for help, but the woman held her hands up. “Hey, don’t look at me,” she grinned, shaking her head slightly. “I spent years doing the same thing, over and over, every single day just to become a Padawan. It’s part of the gig, kid.” 

Omega sighed, knowing they were right and she wasn’t going to get out of it. Her first shot was clumsy and rushed and echoed by more heckling. She groaned in frustration as one of them cackled and collected their bet as Echo leaned down to speak with her again. Her next shot was slower, but still missed as she lacked the strength and control needed for the weapon. It wasn’t her fault, though, out of all of them she was the only one who wasn’t trained from the time they could walk to operate weaponry. 

Still, Wrecker leaned forward to whisper, “not exactly a natural, is she?” While Hunter only cocked his head in response, Miri shoved an elbow into his side. 

“Cut her some slack; different starting lines, remember?” She whispered as she thought of, for the millionth time it seemed, little Ani joining the Order after everyone else in their age group and becoming a prodigy before their eyes. Her old life plagued her thoughts no matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay, but more often than not a whisper of Obi-wan would break through, a flash of a young Anakin appeared, or her Master, and everything there was to him, would come to her whether she needed it or not. 

Miri was broken out of her thoughts by Cid hitting Wrecker as well, his outburst causing all attention to shift to them. “Okay, playtime’s over. We need to talk.” She harshly shooed the other patrons out of the bar, much to her appreciation, before turning back to the group. “I assume you lot know what a tactical droid is? They were the op—” she was cut off by Tech shooting forward from the back of their group, launching into his own explanation of what a tactical droid was. 

It hardly phased them anymore, as Tech couldn’t sit still when someone else explained something he most likely knew far better, but Cid held her hands up in protest. “Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba,” she rattled to shut him up. “This is my briefing, Goggles.” Miri chuckled to herself as she shoved Wrecker from where he was perched before pressing some buttons on the computer base. The purpose of this briefing, another mission Cid wanted them to pull so she could collect. 

“We haven’t decided if we’re gonna work for you or not,” Hunter responded after sharing a look with Miri and the rest of the boys. It was true, they hadn’t decided; there were factors of the job that were conflicting to their morals and values, to the standards they had held themselves to their whole lives, but keeping Omega safe was their top priority at the moment and that backed them into a corner with few options. 

“Allow me to decide for you,” Cid offered. “You’re in! I’m talking a mutually beneficial arrangement,” she continued, trying to persuade them and Miri had a suspicion that she had a valid point. “You make money, I make money, and I watch your back,” she pointed at them. “With the heat on you, it’s the best option you’ve got.” 

The corner they were backed into offered few options indeed, but one of them sounded better than all the others and Cid served it up on a dingy platter. They had no choice but to accept it. 

“I know you’re in, I just told you you’re in,” she sassed before turning to Omega. “And you, you’re releasing too soon because of those weak noodle arms,” her large hands wiggled the girls little arms in emphasis before she took the bow and, advising her to build up her strength, landed three shots in the middle of the target.

Miri knew Cid had it in her, couldn’t do what she did or be who she was if she didn’t, but it left the others more than a little stunned. The sizzling marks on the wall stared right back at Omega as she looked from them to her bow and back, a new determination settling in her bones. 

-: ✧

The retrieval of the tactical droid head had been, as almost all things were nowadays, rockier than anticipated. Details were left out, unexpected competition appeared, and Omega found herself in quite a scary situation, though they all made it out alive. Still, on the way back to Cid’s Miri couldn’t help but replay some of the events that stuck with her, because for whatever reason this mission had been different. 

The way there was a trace of something familiar around the girls that showed up at the factory. Rafa and Trace, two sisters running jobs to make in the galaxy they all shared, a common occurrence. It wasn’t necessarily them, she had never seen them before, but it was something in the air that lingered ever so slightly, a disturbance in the Force around them that was akin to something she had held close at one point. 

Who had they been around, and had they known it was a Jedi? Had they known she was one?

Or the way Wrecker had gone unresponsive for a bit. Odd, and they hadn’t gotten an explanation afterwards, which was even more odd. All that time had passed, all those things had happened to them and he was nowhere to be found? Ignoring their calls? Something had happened to him, Miri knew it, but she was still figuring out what it was. 

And the way that Omega had gotten stuck so easily on the belt. Everything was happening so fast, so much was going on that she had been on her own and when she had become trapped Miri couldn’t help but feel so incredibly stupid. She was a little girl, and she could have suffered the unforgiving fate of discarded mechanics and damaged parts, and it was their fault she was there to begin with. Fear, a monster stronger than most, and guilt, an anchor only pulling you down, sat heavy in her chest as she once again contemplated pulling her saber out. 

Oh, how the stakes seemed so much higher when her girl was involved. It was almost a warning, a wakeup call that she was falling out of balance and when the scales tipped they never went the right way. 

Then there was how she had felt seeing the battle droids again. They were made to swarm, and that was exactly what she had seen them do almost every battle during the war. It had felt like an eternity, now that she was thinking back on it; the Clone Wars had taken so much from so many throughout the entire galaxy, and it had taken just as much from the Jedi. Politics had skewed their way of life even if they wouldn’t admit it, and the war conflicts had taken the forefront of all training and duties. Young Jedi stepping out on their own for the first time only to be thrown into travesty. Padawans, children, raised to fight in a war and knowing nothing else. 

The Clone Wars had shaped her more than she had wanted, more than she had seen until then, because for just a second her throat closed up and her nerves buzzed at the sight of them all blending together, following an order they weren’t programmed to question. 

But then there was the way she felt when Rafa had called them out on not knowing where the information they were collecting was even going, and the way it almost worsened when Hunter shot back that they were paid to retrieve and deliver, not ask questions. 

That was not who they were. That…was not who she wanted them to be. They had never been like others, and now they were even more different. They wouldn’t let the Empire strong arm them into following them, into giving up. Rafa hadn’t believed her when she said it, and her shoulders hung low as she remembered how she had shook her head as she turned away from her and her words that came up short. 

She felt good about giving the girls the intel, however. It didn’t make things easier for them, but it was the right thing to do. All this time, she had been thinking of them fighting the great fight, but everyone was fighting it. Whatever the great fight meant varied from person to person, but everyone was in it now, and Rafa and Trace were fighting it on the right side. Of course Cid wouldn’t be too happy about them returning empty handed, but the worlds would keep spinning and she would live to gripe another day. 

Miri could tell that what Rafa and Trace were doing had stuck with Echo as he sat in silence as well; he had never wanted to do jobs like these, had never felt right about shifting his focus from fighting for the cause. Noble as ever, her one remaining domino, only ever wanted to do what was right, what was good, what he felt he was supposed to do; and she knew she couldn’t fault him for it for it was in his very genetics. But everything was so much bigger now. So much harder. They often couldn’t afford the luxury of not facing the consequences for being heroes any longer, couldn’t rely on ‘all means necessary’ when they weren’t the ones given the means. 

They had all walked away from Order 66 and the fall of the Republic, but had no choice but to walk away different than before. Miri had been struggling with it the entire time, going from living under the thumb of the Order to the thumb of the Empire, shifting the parameters of what was allowed and what wasn’t. 

Her head felt as if it were swimming in her thoughts when Hunter’s deep voice shattered the harsh push and pull of the tides with just a few words. “What’s got you lot so quiet?” When she looked up at him, something holy in a galaxy full of blasphemy, his eyes shifted between her and Echo. 

For a moment it felt like they were waiting to see if the other would answer first, but after a few beats Echo’s voice filtered throughout the ship. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” 

“Doing what?” Hunter questioned taking a few steps forward to the seat nearest Miri. 

“This, Hunter,” he stressed, brows furrowed tightly. “These jobs for Cid, her clients, they’re bad news. We knew how dangerous the intel on that droid head could be and we were just going to let her hand it over to anybody. That’s not what we do.” 

“Echo—”

“Those girls are running jobs, same as us, but they’re actually trying to make a difference. What are we doing?”

“We’re keeping Omega safe,” Miri interjected, finally speaking up as the attention of everyone else shifted to them. “We’re trying to keep ourselves safe. What good are we fighting the Empire if we’re dead? Captured? Because I know they’d kill me as soon as they got me, and I’m sure they’d think up something pleasant for rogue clones,” her brows raised and Echo didn’t respond. She wasn’t angry with him, but if she had to do the work to find the answers then so did he. 

“The age of the Jedi Order has come to an end. The war is over,” she shook her head, “and the Republic has fallen. The very things we were all meant for are no longer paths we can take, and while it will never be easy, Echo, I fear we may not have all the time to mourn the loss of it.” She looked to the others as she spoke now, her words meant for all of them. She had spent time reflecting, shuffling through the files in her mind to compile the thoughts because when faced with the question of what do we do, they needed an answer. “What we can do, what we must do, is trust in ourselves and trust in the Force; we have little choice in taking what we have all been through and coming out different from who we once were. So we better make it count, yes?” 

Wrecker was the first to say anything, cheering at her words as they sparked the motivation she had been reaching for, but her eyes found themselves on Echo once again. His face said he knew she was right, but he didn’t like it. She hoped hers said that she knew, and that she just needed him to hold out for her. For Omega. For them all. 

When she rose from her seat, feet carrying her towards the bunks as they all carried on, she paused as she passed the man still stuck to his seat. His expression was stoney, as if he was guarding what he was thinking from them. He didn’t look at her until she began speaking, his face pointed up at her now with a look of not knowing where to go next. “Nothing lasts forever, Echo,” she offered, voice soft as she placed a hand on his shoulder. He needn’t be lost, because what the Force willed would be so, and he wouldn't be alone for any of it. “This Empire will fall. One day.” 

-: ✧

She had been right about Cid, she had all but chewed them a new one though she hadn’t cut them loose. They didn;t see anybody else doing her business for her so perhaps she needed them just a bit more than she let on when she moaned and groaned and complained. Yes, the worlds would continue spinning and they would work for her another day. 

But Miri didn’t know if she could go another day keeping what she had for Hunter a secret. The love, the admiration, all of it could no longer stay hidden away, much like Echo’s frustration, and the glaring fact that things were different and so were they. And so, as they all made their way out of Cid’s parlor one behind the other, she wiped her palms on her pant legs and took a few deep breaths. She was at the back of their group, which gave her an extra moment to think things through, run through the list of pros and cons, and create a plan of action. This was one of those situations where Obi-Wan and Anakin would offer very differing advice, one would say to sit back and seek counsel and the other would say it’s now or never. You’ll never know if you don’t try, something she’d said to Anakin herself at one point.  

“I have to tell you something,” Miri rushed out before Hunter could get any closer to the ship, her friend's voice echoing softly in her ears as her feet planted themselves firmly on the ground. The others had already boarded, and she knew that privacy was hard to come by and this needed to happen then and there. 

He stopped in his tracks, looking over his shoulder at her before taking in how serious she was and turning around fully. “Everything okay?” That was one of the great things about Hunter, he never hesitated to listen to them. 

In her chest her heart beat faster than she would have liked, nerves causing her stomach to churn, and she knew he was aware of all of this though fighting it was futile. He’d learn to use his skills to read her like a holofile long ago. Instead, she pushed through, knowing what she wanted to say but not really how she was going to say it. “I meant what I said earlier, about things being different now. About us being different now,” she gave him a pointed look to which he furrowed his brows. 

After a pause she continued on, knowing if she stopped it would be harder to keep going. “The Order was flawed. No matter how hard you try, no being is perfect. Total enlightenment doesn’t necessarily mean total perfection, and that’s a hard truth I think a lot of Jedi did not want to face. With balance, comes turbulence; that’s what my master used to say. It is up to oneself to maintain  their balance, to make the choice. With—with you,” she faltered slightly, shy under his gaze all of the sudden. “I could see how it would have its appeal, the Dark Side; to go to lengths that great and—and grave for someone you love. But…” she shook her head, beginning to move her hands about as she spoke. He knew this as a sign of passion in her, and it was evident in the way her words began spewing out of her. “But it’s up to me to keep that away, to keep myself on the path of Light.” 

“I,” she breathed out, “I could never think of straying, because I truly do believe in the Force, in the light, in the balance. But perhaps the reason I never quite fit the mold of the Order is because I believe in something outside of what was traditional? Something venturing away from what we had become and closer to what a Jedi used to be? Should be?” She questioned, face going red slightly as she took a few steps closer. “I—I still feel like a Jedi, and I still feel like a good one, but I also feel like…” she panted, face dropping as she let go of whatever held her back. “I feel like I’m in love with you.” 

Tears had begun to line her eyes, and her voice had the slightest tremble despite holding her head so high. “I feel like you are synonymous with the light that is in everything, that you are the freshest breath of air when I have been suffocating,” her words were thick with emotion, face scrunching up as she pushed through, “that I could not possibly keep the balance if I went another rotation without telling you that you are everything, Hunter. If it had come down to it, I would have walked away from it,” she admitted, looking him in his eyes. Unabashedly, she declared the magnitude of her love for him without a shadow of guilt present, lighter than ever as tears fell from her eyes. 

“The Order, the Jedi, everything. I would have left,” she whispered the last word, shaking her head. “And that is how I know I love you so deeply in my bones, in the purest and most selfish way; because they are all I have ever known, and that is all that I have ever been, but you are everything, Hunter,” she sobbed, closing the gap between them a little more. Her chest heaved with every heavy breath, vision blurry as everything poured from her as if a dam had broken and the flood was free, and she reached out for him. 

That was all it took for Hunter to snap out of his daze and put his body in motion. His hand met hers, gloved fingers wrapping around gloved fingers before he pulled her into him once again. He had struggled so long with these feelings, the weight of them and how much it had been drilled into him that he did not get to have them. The urge to push them down was ever present yet wholly unsuccessful every time. He had caved, ever so slightly, and been almost crushed by the loss of her. To know, to hear, that she had felt the same things reassured him that it had not been for nothing. 

“Miri,” he whispered, attempting to hide the tremble in his voice. “You are unshakable, cyare, and I have known that from the very beginning. I had no choice but to love you, Miri,” he admitted, hands holding her just a little more desperately. “No matter how much I believe I don’t deserve to, I haven’t gone a day without loving you.” Hunter’s admission was quieter than Miri’s, but it held just as much weight as hers did. His emotions, that he kept so well locked away, had gotten the better of him and he had bore his heart in the midst of the great fight for a life they could just live. Scary, that was, but among the list of regrets he had, telling the only woman he had ever loved what she meant to him was not there. 

He repeated her name, hands going to her shoulders so he could look at her. Her eyes were glassy and red rimmed, and her cheeks were tear stained under his palms as he moved to hold her gently. “I will not lose you again, I promise you that, and you will not lose me. I—” he cut himself off, signing deeply before, too, shaking off whatever was holding him back. “I will give you and Omega the lives you deserve.”

Hunter’s resolve, always unyielding, was intense as he gazed at her. The truth, evident on his face, in his heart, and in his Force signature, lifted a weight she didn’t know how to live without. She loved him, and he loved her. Before her mind could register the thought, her body reacted to the impulse, and her hands shot up to grasp at his face as well; pulling him down into a kiss that was long overdue and much anticipated.

His lips moved against hers in a silent confession of love and longing, one hand going to the back of her head while the other slid down to her lower back. They couldn’t get any closer, bodies pressed against one other closely as their relationship forever changed. Neither one of them knew what they were doing, treading uncharted waters to be together; but it did not matter in the slightest because they had fought the great fight to find one another, and they weren’t going to let go any time soon.

Nothing could have been strong enough to break them apart, not even oxygen, had ot not been so imperative. The burn in Miri’s lungs had reluctantly pulled her lips off of his, panting as she looked up at him in a daze. “Hunter,” she breathed out his name, a song she would forever sing, and his eyes softened impossibly more. 

“You know they’re watching?” He questioned, a small smirk on his face as he brushed a finger gently over her cheek. 

And peeking out from the entrance to the ship, the four other members of CF99 certainly were watching. They had not cared for the trouble they may get in, with Hunter or Miri, for this moment had been a long time coming. The Jedi didn’t even need to look over, for she had felt them the entire time, but she did give him a quiet laugh. “Yeah,” she nodded, more fondly than anything, and leaned forward to peck his lips once again. “What are we gonna do with them, huh?” 

all works on this blog belong to hesthermay.tumblr.com: do not copy, repost onto other sites, or claim my contents as your own.

[theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction]

You Did What?

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Inspiration: Star Wars Ep 2

Warnings: None.

Summary: Obi-Wan learns that you gave Anakin permission behind his back.

A gentle hiss filled the room as the door opened and granted passage to a rather upset looking Jedi… and you knew exactly why.

“You let Anakin go?” Obi-wan frowned. He had just landed, pausing his mission after learning about the decision you made.

One that you didn’t regret and made perfect sense, so you didn’t appreciate the tone he was taking with you.

“He sensed that his mother was in danger. He wasn’t focused and strained with worry. I - Obi, I wasn’t going to stop a son from seeing his own mother.”

“Nor would I but you could have run it past me, he’s my padawan.” Obi-wan argued.

You spun around, “Why do you think he didn’t come to you in the first place? He knew that you would drone on and on about the Jedi Code and attachments.”

“And he knew that you would take sympathy and grant him leave in a heartbeat so why...”

“Because I know what it feels like to ache for someone that I love while their life is in danger.” You snapped. Rarely did you raise your voice against Obi-wan but you needed him to hear you. “Love is powerful but it is also dangerous. Denying a child his right to find his mother would have led to him breaking the rules and delaying his progress to become a Jedi Knight.”

Obi-wan stared back and you could tell that he wanted to retort but, in true Kenobi fashion, he took the high road. Instead, he crossed his arms and stepped forward, voice low and unwavering.

“We will discuss this matter in more detail at a later time but until then, we have a missing padawan on our hands. I would suggest that we put our differences aside and work together.”

Without another word, Obi-wan turned on his heel and walked out of the chamber. You let out an annoyed exhale. He always needed to have the last word. With a small eye roll, you resisted the urge to scream at him and rolled back your shoulders. Finding Anakin was priority right now.

Masterlist here

[ninjigma]

QuinFox Week Part 3/7 - First / Previous / Next

Day 3: Knight in Shining Armor + Goodbye Message Track: 'Now - Connor' - Nima Fakhrara (Spotify / YouTube)

Vos's lungs burned.

He was racing down side streets, slipping and sliding around corners in the heavy rain, and trying not to think about Fox going in the opposite direction.

"You have to leave Fox! Get the information back-"

"I am not leaving you-"

"Now Fox!"

He could feel himself getting dizzier, and a shot finally made it past his saber as he rounded a corner. He was forced to jump and run along an alley wall past more of the deadly droids, managing to decapitate two of the four, for what little it will do with the three still tailing him.

"Quinlan-"

"No Fox, I'm sorry. I'm giving you the chance to get back. You have to take it."

"But I-!"

"Goodbye Fox." Voice soft despite his pain, with a weight Quinlan spent most of his life always hiding. "Thanks for being my... my friend. One of the best."

The way the holocron shattered as his lightsaber ignited through it had been gorgeous in and of itself, red shards flickering to dullness around the green blade. He wished he could have kept it but there had been no time for anything more as in an instant the museum had been swarming with droids. Much more than had any right to be there, and the feeling it had been a trap itched at the back of his preoccupied mind.

He hadn’t prepared enough, had gone after the prism on a whim and with no aid or plan. He had rushed the display and in his haste the droids had managed to land a sharp blow across his thigh that left him now struggling with blood loss. He hadn't made it far before they had cornered him again and swung at him with electro staffs glowing and blasters firing with no hesitation. But despite as much pain he suffered escaping and the certainty of death he faced now, he knew he would make the same choices in a heartbeat.

His only regret had been those final words to Fox before he destroyed the mask and the link to the Commander.

That in the end he hadn’t lied, but he still hid the truth.

Quinlan stumbled to a halt at the end of an alley, the roof line too far for him to jump in this state. And that wasn’t his goal now anyhow. It was to die giving Fox enough time to make it off the planet, to get the information that would help the Republic back safely. Specifically to Obi-Wan and the 212th, which may have selfishly been the reason Quinlan had volunteered so easily in the first place. He may have his own issues and reservations about this war and how things seemed to be going for the Jedi in it, but he would take on the droid army all by himself if it meant protecting what little family he felt he truly had.

So as he turned to face the droids hot on his heels a hand fell to the deep wound on his inner thigh and tried to keep a pressure strong enough to allow him one last fight. It was wet, hot, and burned at the touch, but he barely registered it as his saber blazed to life and his heart set itself in stone.

He supposed he had gotten his wish of not having Fox taken away. But as he blocked blasters and watched the droids advance he regretted that he had been too vague about not leaving Fox behind himself. That, as sure as he was in the decision to destroy something that could bring the Sith to greater power, he regretted the pain he had inflicted on Fox, knowing the man well enough that he would agonize over how this all could have gone better, things he could have done to save him as if it hadn’t been Quinlan’s choices every step of the way that brought him here.

As another shot landed on his shoulder and his lightsaber fell, he found one last moment to close his eyes and revise the wish he had made only a few days before.

‘May he find peace, even if I am not there to see it.’

The sound of blaster fire-

-then the snap of metal.

Quinlan's eyes shot open in shock and watched Fox, who had dropped in front of him with a foot landing perfectly on the weak point of the droid's neck seconds after shooting it in the chest. The droids were unprepared and Fox was as precise as ever, taking out the squad in quick and deadly movements. Faced against the last and most recovered droid they exchanged fast hand-to-hand before Fox dropped to a knee and delivered a final shot to the chin of the droid, the heavy thud drowned out by the shuddering of rainfall.

As Fox turned to look at Quinlan, careful and taunt, all the adrenaline and joy rushed out of the Jedi and he dropped fully to the ground.

He was safe. Even as his vision went black and the pain flared, Quinlan knew, with Fox, he was safe.

@foxquinweek

[thechaoticfanartist]

Why Grim Kennet Doesn't Tell The Jedi Council About Darth Sidious

Grim has multiple opportunities to tell the Jedi Council about Sidious. Never once does she tell them. But for every single time, there is a reason behind it.

Opportunity 1): Grim's first appearance

When Grim talks to the Jedi Council for the first time, she tells them that there is something she wants to prevent, but doesn't elaborate any further than that.

"No," said Grim. "Since I'm here, I want to try and prevent a terrible ending from happening," she told him. "I want to save as many lives as possible, if I can. I don't care that I could leave things as they are, if there's even the slightest chance that I can save lives, change the ending, then I can't pass it up."

- The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part I: The Calm, Chapter 1: In A Galaxy Far Far Away

This would have been the golden opportunity for her to tell the Jedi Council about Sidious and Order 66. From the very beginning she had the perfect chance. But she never says anything about it. Why?

Well to start: Grim is a 14 year old teenager who just had her life completely changed. She is in another universe. A universe that was supposed to be completely fictional. A universe that she has grown up adoring.

It isn't real for her yet. It takes her an entire year for her to really process the fact she is in Star Wars. And that facing this, she is in a real war. And there are consequences for everything. And all of this danger that was fictional is actually real, and is a danger to her.

By this point in time she's only been in Star Wars for a few hours. She hasn't fully processed being in another universe. It's still just a story to her. Telling the Council here would break that immersion in this story.

Grim even admits that she hadn't fully processed the fact of being in another universe when she became a Jedi later down the line:

"....When I first decided to become a Jedi, I was awestruck, and yes, I was certain then when I made that decision, the fact that I may never return, I didn't consider that. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it for an instant…but I can't help but wonder about everything I left behind in favor of this life."

- Grim Kennet to Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part II: The Clouds, Chapter 14: A Secret Kept And A Secret Told

It was still fictional to her. She hadn't considered everything. She was awestruck. To tell the Council about Sidious would break the immersion of the moment. A moment where she was awestruck and at the same time just not fully thinking through it all.

In fact, the idea of Sidious and Order 66 and telling the Jedi Council about all of that, it didn't occur to her at that moment. All she knew was that she wanted to be a Jedi, because that was a childhood dream she didn't think would ever be possible because Jedi weren't real. Now suddenly they were.

Opportunity 2): The Deception Arc

Grim's second opportunity to tell the Jedi Council is ironically enough when she had planned to do so.

With Obi-Wan faking his death to protect Palpatine, it upset Grim. She wasn't told about his mission, and understandably so. However she felt that because she would have known about it no matter what, and the Jedi Council was aware of this she should have been informed. This leads her to come up with a plan out of spite.

Obi-Wan was trying to protect Palpatine? Well, then, what if the truth about the Chancellor came out? There’s more than one deception at play, Master. And I can see through every one of them.

- Grim Kennet's thoughts, The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part III: The Rain, Chapter 20: The Moment Of Truth And The Moment To Lie

However, this plan goes horribly wrong. Rather than just telling the Council about this, she feels it would be best to gather evidence first. Which under usual circumstances, would be a smart move. However she is dealing with a Sith Lord, and is only a teenage Padawan. (She's 16 by this point in the story.)

Outside of this her entire plan is built in anger. This isn't her wanting justice against Palpatine. She's angry with Obi-Wan and the Council for keeping the plan hidden from her when she would have been aware of it either way.

She doesn't even have a full plan for this. Grim just breaks into Palpatine's office with the hopes that she can find proof he is a Sith Lord. Proof that she can take to the Jedi Council.

But Sidious catches her. And this is very important, because this encounter is the reason she continues to not tell anybody. She gets caught by Darth Sidious, the most powerful Sith of that time. And it scares her.

She barely manages to escape the whole situation alive. The only reason she even survives is because Sidious is curious about her, because he's been suspicious and already knows a few things. She's lucky to escape.

When she runs into Windu she has the opportunity to tell him about what happened. But she's terrified of what Sidious might do. So she lies about how she got hurt.

A week after Obi-Wan returns Grim faces Sidious again. This time things go even worse. She gets a scar, and she ends up telling Sidious about being from another universe. And it terrifies her. She's afraid of Sidious doing something to hurt the people she loves.

She should tell someone about what had happened, but what if Sidious did something?

She couldn't think straight. She didn't feel safe on this roof. What would Sidious do?

- The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part III: The Rain, Chapter 21: Scars And Ghosts

So she's afraid and her fear holds her back from telling anyone anything. Not about Palpatine being a Sith Lord. Not about fighting Sidious. Not about how she got her scar. Her fear controls her, and for every other opportunity her fear overpowers her.

Opportunity 3): The Jedi Council learns Grim has fought Sidious

On Mandalore Grim teams up with Maul against Darth Sidious. This plan fails miserably. Obi-Wan has to rescue Grim from him. In the process he learns that this isn't Grim's first encounter with the Sith Lord.

When they return to the Jedi Temple, they immediately speak to the Council about what happened. And Grim is completely honest. She tells them that this wasn't her first time fighting Sidious. And she tells them what happened in her previous encounters with him. That he knows she's from another universe.

Grim tells them everything.

Except she doesn't tell them who Sidious is. And when she's asked about his identity she freezes. When Yoda tries to convince her to tell them before she shouldn't be dealing with any of this alone Grim just tries to shift the blame to Obi-Wan for the fact that he went to Mandalore without the Council's permission.

But it doesn't work. Eventually Grim admits she's afraid.

“I’m scared.”

“And you’re allowed to be, but don’t let this fear cloud your judgment.”

“I know that, but…” She didn’t have an excuse.

“But what?” asked Obi-Wan. “What exactly is it that you’re so afraid of?”

- The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part III: The Rain, Chapter 27: Cracked Hearts

And Grim doesn't tell them. But it's revealed through her thoughts:

That Sidious has planned this too.

Grim is afraid that Sidious has planned for to go to the Council. Especially after the fact that it wasn't just her that escaped him this time, but Obi-Wan as well.

By this point in time those first two encounters with Sidious had happened a year ago. He has had time to plan for Grim. And that's what she's afraid of.

And she has a reference for when Sidious has counted on the Jedi Council being told about him. The entirety of Order 66 was set in motion by Anakin telling Windu that Palpatine is Sidious. Here Grim is afraid of the exact same thing happening because of her.

Opportunity 4): Windu asks Grim about Palpatine

In one of the most infuriating moments in all of The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Grim has the best ever opportunity. She gets directly asked about Palpatine.

As the Jedi left the Chancellor’s office Windu stopped Grim and pulled her to the side. “Padawan Kenent, a moment.”

Grim looked at him confused, “what is it, Master Windu?”

“I noticed how uncomfortable you were with the Chancellor.”

“Okay?” she asked, still confused. “I just don’t like him.”

“Grim, this isn’t the first time I’ve noticed this. When Master Kenobi was informing the Chancellor about Maul-”

“What are you saying?”

Windu sighed. “You know things, Grim. Is there something the Council should know about the Chancellor?”

- The Clone Wars Gets A New Victim, Part III: The Rain, Chapter 29: The Final Chance

Here she is, directly asked, by Mace Windu himself, the golden opportunity handed right to her.

And yet, she says nothing.

Why?

It's because of everything else that happened earlier in this chapter. This is not a moment where fear wins. This is a moment where Grim has given up.

This entire chapter followed Grim trying to save Fives. She helps him to gather proof. All her hopes rely on him. But when they reach Palpatine it all goes downhill.

She has been immensely traumatized by her previous encounters with him as Sidious. And it shows. There is a point where Grim's PTSD is triggered, and Palpatine sees it.

Later Grim joins Anakin and Rex to help find Fives desperate to save him. Everything goes wrong. And before Fives is killed, Anakin says something that really affects her.

“The Chancellor isn’t capable of what you claim."

And Grim is right there to hear this. A person who has been tortured, scarred, traumatized, and nearly killed by Palpatine. Hearing Anakin not believe Fives about him being involved in a plot against the Jedi hurt her. And her faith in herself about being believed about Sidious.

And then Grim watches Fives die. And by this point he had become her last hope at stopping Order 66. At stopping Sidious.

She's at the meeting afterwards too, having gotten involved in everything. And Palpatine uses that against her. Manipulates her. Because she had panicked earlier and had protected him over Fives. And he knows she wouldn't have done that. So he's adding to her guilt, preying on it. And he knows now how much he can affect her because he saw how traumatized she is because of him. He's trying to break her down. And he succeeds.

So when Windu asks her about him. She can't bring herself to tell him. Because she has been broken down.

And because of that she believes it is too late.

Opportunity 5): Revenge Of The Sith

After rescuing Palpatine, Grim comes clean about the terrible events she wants to stop that she told the Jedi Council about when she first arrived. However she doesn't tell them how it happens. Again it's because of her fear. She's afraid it's too late. She's afraid that Order 66 can't be prevented.

She tries again the next day to overcome her fear. She speaks with Yoda, but she still can't bring herself to tell him everything.

Obi-Wan tries to get Grim to talk to him multiple times. But again her fear continues to win. Her fear leads to her downfall.

She spies on Anakin and Palpatine, she could tell Anakin about him then, but she doesn't. She feels she has already lost him to the dark side.

And after all of that. She gives up.

Her fear wins.

And she never tells anyone. And it's too late. Because the next day it's Order 66.

Conclusion:

At first it was fictional. Grim hadn't processed the fact she was in another universe, not fully. The idea didn't even occur to her at the very beginning.

Then she encountered Sidious. And she was terrified of him. And her fear won again and again. It kept winning until she herself lost.

Grim was afraid, and traumatized, and a kid. That's why she never told anyone. Even though she knew she should.