#obsessed with the weird gay tension between these two at all times

[therainscene]

I’m obsessed with @wheelersboy’s theory that Mike thinks Will is in love with El. It’s one of those takes that’s so simple, yet so perfectly explains every odd little detail you couldn’t quite account for before, that you know you’re on to a winner.

I always thought it was bizarre that the Willel reunion at NINA was framed in blatant love triangle imagery:

If this was supposed to be yet another reminder that the sad widdle gay boy has fee-fees for his best friend, we’d expect him to be gazing at Mike or otherwise looking conflicted at both of them. But he isn’t. His steady, adoring gaze is for El only. Yes, he loves her, but that love is strictly fraternal, so why the romance symbolism?

Is it straight-bait? This scene comes after his thinly-veiled love confession to Mike (in the same episode, no less), and the Duffers and Noah both made a point of confirming that Will was gay in post-vol.2 interviews, so making the audience think that Will is in love with El clearly wasn’t the intention here.

The Willel romance-coding isn’t for the audience -- it’s for Mike.

We often joke about Mike being crushed that Will didn’t laugh at his vomit green socks, but follow Will’s gaze -- it’s a little hard to see in the still image, but he’s staring at El, checking to see if she’s going to heed his advice. Mike's discomfort isn’t because he’s upset that Will didn’t like his joke, it’s because he doesn’t understand the weird tension between these two and is frustrated that his attempt to lighten the mood didn’t dispel it.

Mike’s smart enough to correctly connect the dots by the time Will starts sobbing in the van though: Will is destroying himself in his efforts to be supportive of the relationship between his best friend and the person he’s in love with.

But heteronormativity and a severe inferiority complex lead him to draw the wrong conclusion -- he thinks he’s the best friend and El is the one Will’s in love with, and that gets confirmed in his mind when he catches them making goo-goo eyes at each other at NINA.

And not once, after figuring it out, does he get jealous about it -- he guides El into Will’s arms at NINA, he looks conflicted as hell during the “I love you” monologue as Will hovers over his shoulder -- he just wants them to be happy and is prepared to put his own feelings aside to make it happen, even though it would hurt him terribly to do so. Exactly the same fucking thing Will is doing. It’s utterly farcical. I love this theory so much.

I’d like to springboard off this by taking a look at what it implies about S5.

Between Will’s history with Vecna and the Wonder Twins foreshadowing--

--it’s looking pretty likely that Will and El are going to be spending a significant amount of time together next season.

So we can already see that conditions are perfect for Mike to go through a similar arc as Will did in S4: being a third wheel between his best friend and the person he’s in love with and feeling like he can never truly be more than a third wheel, leading him to sacrifice himself in an effort to support what he thinks they have together.

Mike is very much at risk of doing something stupidly self-harming in S5 -- this is the same kid who jumped off a cliff to protect Dustin’s baby teeth, after all. He feels like he has no value if he isn’t needed by Superman. And there’s a goddamn mind-reading despair demon stalking his friend group.

Of course, it’ll all work out in the end. He’ll be saved at the last moment, the truth will be tearfully revealed, and we’ll finally get that big, dramatic, affirming kiss for our OTP.

You might have noticed that everything I’ve said in this analysis so far is consistent with either Byler or Milevn being endgame.

Many Milevns and GA members don’t just believe that Milevn will triumph over Byler -- they believe there isn’t any conflict between Milevn and Byler in the first place. The lack of evidence that Mike isn’t into boys is meaningless to the heteronormative mindset -- he’s the protagonist and dating a girl, therefore he’s straight, therefore Will’s hopes are dead in the water, therefore Mike has no romantic dilemma to solve.

By introducing a misunderstanding in which Mike imagines that his best friend is competing for his girlfriend -- couching his dilemma in relatable heterosexual terms -- the audience will be forced to accept that Mike is experiencing a distressing internal conflict involving Will and romance that won’t be resolved until the queer truth comes out.

The GA felt bad for Will in S4 because they assumed there was nothing he could do about it, but they’ll be tearing their hair out with frustration at Mike in S5 -- “you’re wrongly assuming he’s straight, you idiot! Just talk to him and this will all be cleared up!!”

It would be an absolutely genius way of getting the audience to question heteronormativity without them even realizing they’re questioning heteronormativity.

Once Mike’s queerness is revealed, the parallels between his arc and Will’s will suddenly become clear, and the audience will realize that, despite his straight-passing invisibility, Mike was just the other side of the same gay coin Will was on all along.

[Part 2]

[theboost]

Can’t bring myself to watch the finale of due south, so for the two people who are interested, here are my thoughts from when I was watching through

Due South insanity moment where vecchio gives a long speech to his sister in which he tells her to stay away from fraser because she’ll only get hurt and guys like fraser won’t even notice and then she responds by telling him that he’s afraid to dream. How am I supposed to take this

Obsessed with Fraser having a sleepover with his childhood hockey bestie. I think they should practice kissing with each other. I’m such a gay fraser truther I’m sorry but id take him and random hockey guy over him and Victoria

I think paul gross just has a resting smirk which is something you don’t see too often but it’s really making this funeral scene unintentionally humorous. Buddy you couldn’t muster a frown. I hate you Paul Gross, you live action Disney prince. That is a term that gets thrown around a lot but it’s true for him

100 percent still a gay fraser truther. Why are they having romantical ten- SORRY LIEUTENANT THATCHER JUST HIT HIM WITH A DAMN BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS- romantical tension between fraser and thatcher. I don’t like it. She’s so mean to him all the time. He needs to get with a real man like Ray. I don’t really think you can put a guy like fraser in a relationship with his superior officer the chain of command would fuck him up. But they just keep mashing them together like Barbie dolls. I don’t get it. Also I kind of don’t like Francesca I’m sorry women…

“Ray, get in the closet” “Benny, get out of the closet” real dialogue. I don’t even need to make the joke. “I was in the closet with detective vecchio” I could end it all

Are we really doing another season finale where they’re getting framed by someone who one of them put in prison who recently go out and now seeks revenge. I guess if it ain’t broke. Okay so it’s not a season finale arc but still. It’s weird that it happened twice

CAN WE STOP PUTTING POOR GAY BOY FRASER - henceforth referred to as gayser when he is into situations wherein I want to emphasize his homosexuality - IN FORCED STRAIGHT SITUATIONS LIKE I KNOW THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO PLAY DOMESTICITY WITH FRANNIE. And she really needs to get with a woman

Girl a clip show for the season 2 finale? Come now. Also this is why starsky and hutch will always be a show made to hatecrime the watcher while due south uplifts you, because starsky and hutch did the amnesia plot line but hutch faked it. Because he’s insane.

“Alone we’re incomplete” truly insane thing to say about your best friend. Season 2 has really solidified by theory that ray is an out gay man to himself and no one else and he performs heterosexuality as a cover and gayser is just really truly deeply closeted because there were no gay people in a 100 kilometer radius growing up in the yukon. Also “benny, I could kiss you” “I thought we were just friends, ray” “we are” hello??? Hello???

Okay what the hell is going on with Ray K. You weren’t lying. 2 episodes in and he’s asking if Fraser thinks he’s attractive.

“All women are our sisters” I LOVE YOU FRASER. FEMINIST LEGEND.

I still gayser truth of course but as far as love interests go I don’t mind this bounty hunter milf

I don’t love that ghost dad was made a main character I liked him more when he would randomly pop up and I think they use him too much but I do love his little office set. And I do love that ghost dad is a character that exists

I don’t really care for the fact that one of kowalski’s defining traits is his love of police brutality. Come on due south. You used to understand that police violence is bad

I’ll be honest this is one of the first American based shows I’ve seen that promotes the idea of Canadian exceptionalism. And like it wasn’t initially like this as, see my last point, due South used to know and show that both the Chicago police and the mounties were corrupt, with Fraser being the worlds most special guy, but later seasons are like “all Mounties are inherently virtuous supermen”

Detective Huey and Fraser narrative foils in that both of them lost their first gay partner and then proceeded to get even gayer with their second partner. I do love Huey. And Dewey’s strange ways bewitch me I think he should hook up with turnbull

Women love to ask Fraser if they can trust him and then kiss him. Non_threatening_boys.jpg

Whenever Scott Bakula sings on quantum leap I cheer and clap like a seal and whenever paul gross sings I shriek and cover my eyes and say kill yourself

Every subplot to Mountie Sings the Blues makes me so happy I love huey and deweys stupid ass country song and I actually think Francesca/Turnbull is cute I’ve actually been hoping they would do it

I’m so sad due south got canceled right after the Fraser sister reveal I want so many more episodes with them hanging out

One thing about Fraser is that his love interest will be a brunette woman. Frannie, Victoria, Thatcher, milf bounty hunter and- sorry I looked up the poker episode to remember if the poker chick was brunette and sure enough

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

i actually always have weird dreams about whatever media im stupidly obsessed with and that acosf dream reminded of this one that i had that was actually so weird that it momentarily snapped me out of my obsession

so im a big fan of elisabth: das musical which is a musical about empress elisabeth of austria, idk how familiar your average presumably american tumblrperson is with her but shes a big cultural icon in germany and austria so obviously they made a musical about her. but whatever, all you really need to know for the sake of this post is that elisabeth has a son called rudolf and theres a gnc af personification of death/everyones suicidal thoughts kickin around. Death is my favorite character bc if im weirdly obsessed with him and him only thats technically not rpf, and then rudolf is my favorite non-death character even though he only gets 3 songs and a dance number during which he kills himself. and basically the main reason for that is that hes got a lot of homoerotic tension w/ death because death is a romqntic character and he has suicidal thoughts so obviously theres a spark there. Thats not actually relevant to my dream i just needed to tell you bc anytime someone talks about this musical i feel like theyre like "oh its about this woman having a romance with the hot and sexy grim reaper" "oh the emperor of austria gets cucked by a guy who looks like THIS" and thats all true but also, idk man go on youtube and type in mayerling walzer and watch some of the videos and tell me what you think, content warning for suicide, guns and gay shit

anyway, so the dream that I had was a tv show, i wasnt like watching it, i did bot exist in that dream my mind was basically a streaming service. Its a full episode of a cw/abc family type show, for some reason i get once upon a time vibes from it even though ive never watched that show, but i only remember the very end, all I remember about the rest of the episode was that it was rudolf (whos the pov character btw i havent mentioned that yet) going around a bunch of places trying to solve some kind of mystery. And the very last place he ended up at the end of the episode was in front of my catholic elementary school, catholic in the sense that it was right next to a catholic church and was named after that church i dont think we learned much more about religion than your average "secular" elementary school. Now, the school was a little bit behind the church and between the two buildings theres this gap where the ground is all cobblestone and theres a fountain that doesnt work and some bushes and benches and irl theres a busstop there with one of those electrical signs, but since this dream took place in the 1880s there wasnt a busstop yet. so rudolf comes to this kind of inbetween space and goes up to this big person-sized copper jesus statue (which is accurate to real life btw) and Im sure this is meant to be some heavy-handed symbolism or visual metaphor or something but unfortunately i dont have the context of this tv show that my brain made up so i cant be sure. he stands there for a while, not really doing anything until an older woman suddenly approaches him. And that woman? queen victoria. yknow, like victorian england. whatever, shes like the catty woman antagonist of this show and she and rudolf have this really vague and passive agressive confrontation, i dont remember anything they said, just that it was passive aggressive bc thats how royals b like i guess. But somehow through the vague bullshit theyre saying the audience finds out aboutvthe big shocking end-of-episode twist: rudolf is not elisabeths child, hes actually victorias child. They did a baby switcheroo. for some reason. and then it CUTS TO BLACK

And I wake up and im like "huh. maybe i should stop thinking about that musical so much"

[luminecho]

Why the pause

[absolutebl]

Thank you so much for your post on soulmates!! It’s one of my favourite tropes, along with mafia storylines. Do you have any mafia recommendations? I don’t care if it’s gay, lesbian, hetero, non-binary. I just love the mafia ones. Especially if they actually have a plot, like Manner of Death!!

Btw, supportive of the name change! Nice one!

Thank you!

I love a mafia too! Although I only really pay attention to queer and romantic stuff.  

Hard to find these days, it seems to be thought of as somewhat old fashioned. 

Let’s see...

BL Mafia Stuff 

Long Time No See (Korea 2017) is about two hitmen who fall in love via online gay fanfic without knowing they are hitmen on opposite sides of a turf war. Or do they? It’s absolutely great and very under appreciated. On GaGa. 

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019) is about a cop investigating a cold case where a mafia boss is the only witness. Along the way to solving it, they fall in love. Side characters = mercenary hitman meets nerdy cop of his dreams, cooks for him. Main couple ends ambiguously, side couple ends happy. On Viki. 

3 Will Be Free (Thailand 2019) is about a mafia kid, a stripper, and a grifter who accidentally kill a hitman and then have to go on the run, with two assassins chasing them. Along the way the three of them basically fall in love with each other. You also get the mafia hitmen perspective. It’s GREAT and very queer. On GMMTV’s YouTube channel. 

Where Your Eyes Linger (Korea 2020) ostensibly high school set about a poor kid whose been raised in a mafia kid’s family specifically to protect him (whipping boy trope). Themes of codependency and survival and pretty classic Korean style romance ending. On Viki. 

Golden Blood (Thailand 2021) a Thai BL pulp with the whipping boy trope about a boy who is pulled off the streets because he has the correct blood type and trained to be the servant/caretaker/bodyguard of a rich mafia kid. They fall in love. On YouTube. 

Manner of Death (Thailand 2021) this is a gay romantic suspense featuring a doctor and a mafia brother character. It’s not strictly BL, and it’s more a murder mystery than a mafia romance, but it is great. On WeTV. 

Not Me (Thailand 2022) this is crime thriller about a group of motorcycling malcontents bent on bring down a corrupt system. Overtly queer, the romantic threads are not entirely the narrative drivers and it’s very slender on tropes, making this one, like MoD more gay romantic suspense than BL. But if a gritty tension is what you’re after, this one has that in spades. On GMMTV’s YouTube channel. 

KinnPorsche (Thailand 2022) is airing 2022 and I will dominate this niche. So far fandom seems to love it, I’m finding the directing and tone uneven, but the chemistry and acting is spot on. On iQIYI (ironically). 

Mafia... Tangential? 

Because of You (Taiwan + Korea 2020) is about a family of brothers who seem to be THAT kind of family. Uneven but ultimately cute. And I love listening to the contrast between Korean and Mandarin since characters speak in both languages. On Viki. 

Irresistible Love (China 2016) is mafia esk but it’s very rough and censorship got its weird mits all over it. Mafia boss has obsession with his family’s butler. Sometimes pops up on YouTube. It’s in two parts and the second part has two endings, you want the one that ends not entirely unhappily. 

Advance Bravely (China 2017) is about a security firm that provides services to grey businesses, but again with censorship and a serious WTF ending. It’s about a rich pretty boy trailing after the hunky head of the security team and getting them both into trouble. On YouTube. 

Unforgotten Night (Thailand) is coming hopefully in 2022 and looks like the arsehole CEO dumpster fire version of KinnPorsche. It should be gloriously terrible, we hope. 

(source) 

dated mid 2022, not responsible for mafia trash that drops after that date 

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[zevexsii]

Hello! I saw your post on petals and decided to come by and drop a ask! Any chance you could do sfw and nsfw hcs about Emma x tall fem hunter! (Based on and looks like japanese folk lore Hachishaku-sama) with gentledom and praise kink in the nsfw part? Sorry if this is a weird ask!

thank you so much! don’t worry, it takes a lot to weird me out lmao

emma woods with a hachishaku-esque hunter gf (sfw + nsfw hcs)

SFW

*well, mark me down as scared and horny intensifies*

emma is one of the more peaceful survivors; she’s more intimidated by your arrival than intrigued. at first. 

your hunter abilities are downright terrifying- who wouldn’t be a little scared! you have earned her respect with your proficiency at the game, though.

she writes her interest in you outside of games off as mere curiosity- you’re a supernatural being, after all! 

still, she’s captivated by your kind behavior outside of matches, compared to your fierce pursuit of survivors during matches.

you bond in the gardens; emma isn’t hard to befriend and the more you know about gardening, the more instantly pleased she is.

emma has slower auditory processing, especially when she’s busy with something she’s passionate about. you might have to call her name a few times, but she’ll look up with dirt smeared on her cheek and the biggest, brightest smile known to man.

wipe the dirt off her face or straighten her hat and her face reddens to a concerning point- ask if her if she’s feeling alright and she’ll combust on the spot. pretty supernatural lady?? asking her if she’s alright??? *gay panic*

eventually, emma brings up the way your mere presence gives her butterflies and how your smile makes her day to vera and the other female survivors in the manor- they inform her that this is, in fact, a crush.

Oh Fuck???

it becomes more and more obvious that emma has a soft spot for you; she memorizes your favorite flower and makes a point to grow a section just for you! maybe someday she’ll gather the courage to ask you out to the flower bed after dinner. someday. 

her pining is noticeable! so, there are two ways you can go about this; emma is one of the people who you can just sort of, “slip” into a relationship with- keep being tender and you’ll get closer and closer. everything feels good and soft and right. this isn’t to say that you two won’t discuss important things! emma is very easy to communicate with.

the other way to go about this would just be to confess; it’s easy and light. emma is terrified that you might reject her, but you haven’t rejected any of her affections, right?

after the confession, things don’t change too much. emma is still affectionate through gifts of beautiful flowers, or planting herbs and spices that you like! she’s very observant and an incredibly quick learner when she’s interested in something.

not incredibly interested in pda; she’s got so many other things to think about!! emma’s got a very bubbly personality all around. when she thinks about it, though, she’ll loop her arm through yours or clutch your comparatively enormous hand in her tiny one. she’s also obsessed with the size gap. let her sit on your shoulders and she swears she’ll love you forever. 

like she won’t already

really enjoys forehead kisses. soft, innocent affection that she can think about all day makes emma positively melt. cup her face in your hands and she’ll nuzzle your palm.

definitely the little spoon. she doesn’t have the words to describe how safe and at home she feels when you curl up behind her or let her lay on your chest, her head buried in the crook of your neck. scratch her back or gently run your fingers through her hair and she’ll be asleep in an instant.

it’ll come as no surprise that emma is highly inclined to flower-oriented nicknames. her favorites are sunflower and gardenia- she loves you more than any flower she’s ever grown and she intends to make you aware of that every opportunity she gets.

NSFW

emma woods is another capital b Bottom. pretty vanilla, too. 

she’s not very focused on sex in general; she’s pretty new to relationships of this nature.

that being said, emma’s naturally curious about a lot of things; she may be a bottom and more of a pillow princess if truth be told, but she’s eager to please either way. if there’s a certain position you’d like to try or a certain toy you’d like to use, she’s up for it.

emma would want to set up a safeword, just in case. nothing too elaborate.

lives to be praised. tell her how good and wet she is for you in a low murmur as you curl your fingers inside of her; the sight of the gentle smirk that spreads across your face is enough to make her whimper.

her entire body shivers slightly when you lay soft, sweet kisses on the side of her neck and up her jawline. she’ll grip the bedsheets and whine about how badly she needs you, scratching your exposed back with her nails. 

if you decide to use a strap-on, you’ll need to be extremely gentle the first time. go down on her- it won’t be hard to continue after you hear how incredibly loud she is. leave hickeys on her thighs when you go down to prep her, the sight drives her wild after the act is done.

lace your fingers together when you push the material inside of her- emma’s breath will catch in her throat, all of the things she wanted to say burned away by the uncontrollable wave of pleasure rolling over her. 

as soon as she can form a coherent thought, her first words are something along the lines of “please, (y/n)-”. emma begs quite frequently; not because she thinks you get off on it, just because every statement she would’ve kept quietly to herself is forced out to the rhythm of your hips against slamming against hers as she cries out for more.

very easy to overstimulate. emma loves it too- not long and you’ll have her nearly screaming at the gentle pressure of your tongue to her clit. if you tell her to pull your hair, or tug on it ever so slightly, she’ll be nervous. this is about love, right? why would she want to hurt you?

reassure her that it’s pleasurable to you and get back to work between her thighs. soon enough she’ll be lost in waves of ecstasy and will forget all about her apprehension, especially when you emit a low groan from the tension. 

not too big on giving oral; she doesn’t know exactly what to do and she’s afraid of disappointing you. reassurance is key. you’ll have to tell her what you like, being extra vocal the first few times will definitely help. 

when emma cums, she loses control completely. depending on how many orgasms she’s had, she’ll get more and more vocal, almost to the point of screaming. her hands will shake as she moves to wipe the gathering drool away from her lips, sweat beading on her forehead and flushed red all the way to the tips of her ears. 

every slight bit of praise you coo tightens the knot in her stomach and before you know it, she’s been totally unraveled. 

aftercare is very important. run emma a bath and massage sweet-smelling shampoo and conditioner into her hair while she breathlessly thanks you for everything earlier. take her to bed, dressed in one of your shirts (it’s long enough to be a dress on her at this point) and hold her close, whispering kind things until you both fall asleep.

[experiment-000]

My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

I know it's been said before buy I just have to say I know the whole demetri and yasmine plot was just so that all the gay undertones of the rivalry and obsession and tension between Demtri and hawk could be easily overlooked

Lololol Anon you’re not even WRONG

Once they yeeted Moon out of the picture the writers were like “Oh shit, better No Homo it again!!!”

I guess in the writer’s (very feeble) defense, they DID set it up kinda, by having Demetri be like “Wow!!! I’d love to have Yasmine spit in my face!!!” and then very atrociously trying to hit on her at the beach party. But I thought his sorta-crush on her was just supposed to be like...comic relief??? Like “haha look at this nerdy guy being hot for this sexy popular chick he’ll never, ever get, isn’t it good memes???” I mean, him coming on to her at the party and just FAILING at every level was so incredibly funny BECAUSE of how much someone like her was just...never going to go for a dude like that in a million years. Like I thought that was the whole joke??? And Cobra Kai seems a bit more realism-leaning than some teen shows in how the teenagers actually act, so I figured from that angle it was gonna be the trope of “nerdy guy into hot popular bitchy girl” set up...but then, Reality Ensues, and she’s not only not remotely interested, but mildly to moderately disgusted at the idea. And that’s the comedy of it.

So yeah, after Season 1, I thought we were done with that whole arc, and it was literally just like...a joke “love” subplot to balance out the more serious relationship difficulties Miguel was having at the time. But now...Yasmine’s back, I guess??? And she apparently did a full 180 and is sorta nice now and went through a bunch of Character Development offscreen, none of which we got to see? So I GUESS her and Demetri were hinted to eventually become a thing, just like...very, very poorly. And in “hints” I assumed we were in no way meant to take seriously at all.

But yeah, the Yasmine/Demetri thing DOES seem kinda thrown in last-minute, given how finished that arc felt back in s1. And we only ever really get to see Yasmine when she’s interacting with Demetri, so it really feels like she was only brought back to be his love interest, which like...VERY weird flex, Cobra Kai writers, but okay :/

It IS incredibly sus how much time and energy Hawk and Demetri devote to their rivalry in particular, rather than like...idk, moving on with their lives??? Just ignoring each other and doing their own things, now that they are officially no longer bros and are in different friend circles, etc etc? Like they go OUT OF THEIR WAY to fuck with each other when they could just like...chill and move on. Like Demetri, a socially-awkward dude with limited people skills, works up the balls to get onstage and roast Hawk in front of an entire partyful of peers. Hawk SEARCHES THROUGH AN ENTIRE SCHOOL to hunt down Demetri at the school fight. Hawk goes up to Demetri on the first damn day back at school just to GLARE at him ominously (which I also just realized is RIGHT after some freshman girls give Demetri moony looks as they pass--jealous much???) Later on, Hawk coulda ignored Demetri and finished eating lunch with his Cool New Friends, but instead he goes out of his damn way to bust Demetri’s project and then come over and roast him about it. Demetri then eagerly goes over and reciprocates said roasting and spends that entire fucking soccer game tryna screw with Hawk in particular. They fricken almost IMMEDIATELY go for each other in the Golf N Stuff fight, IIRC. Really, they devote more time and energy to each other and their Rivalry™️ than either does to like...any other character? Like are Eli’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Demetri?” Are Demetri’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Eli?” Because like...I just don’t think obsessing over another man that much, even in a negative context...is very straight XD

There’s also the fact that their arcs are WAY more intertwined with each other’s than ANY girl either of them dates or interacts with. I mean ffs, Moon dumped Hawk BECAUSE of how he treated Demetri--even Hawk’s supposed Straight Romantic Subplot™️ ties directly back into Demetri! And the only reason Demetri joins Miyagi-Do at ALL and doesn’t just like...fade into the background in Season 2 is to show HAWK SPECIFICALLY that he can “fight back.” And later we have DEMETRI being the one to make Hawk realize he’s gone too far with Cobra Kai (i.e. his guilt after breaking Demetri’s arm) and ultimately being the catalyst that makes Hawk SWITCH SIDES! I honestly think every major point of development for both characters directly involves the other in some way--you could even argue Eli initially becomes “Hawk” in part because Demetri quits Cobra Kai, and isn’t around to stick up for him anymore--so he has to find another way to protect himself from bullying. Even their sense of “dojo rivalry” is mostly just about each other--Hawk’s animosity toward Miyagi-Do lowkey seems to stem almost entirely from Demetri in particular joining it and “betraying” him, while Demetri’s animosity toward Cobra Kai basically entirely comes from Cobra Kai taking Eli away from him. I literally like...cannot think of a single thing in either of their developments that doesn’t tie into the other in a major way. 

Like to put it plainly, Moon and Yasmine feel like a single step in each of the boys’ character journeys--a single turning point to spur them in a certain direction. But Demetri and Hawk just...ARE each other’s character journeys. They’re not a step for the other to discover something about themself or get pushed in a certain direction--they just ARE the entire arc for each other, if that makes any sense. Like you could argue BOTH Demetri and Eli/Hawk’s arcs like 90% center on how to navigate their relationship when Eli gains confidence and their interests diverge and they no longer need each other the way they used to. Like??? Name ONE aspect of either of their arcs that doesn’t tie directly into their undying gay love friendship in some way??? It’s INCREDIBLY integral to both their stories and is just...SO much more compelling to watch than either of them making out with hot girls at parties or in the hallway. And them repairing their relationship and/or evolving it as needed, realizing that they love each other too much to let one another go, even if they’re both somewhat different after everything??? And realizing it’s a romantic kinda undying love they’re feeling, because really, what good reason is there for it NOT to be??? We HAVE enough male characters in media already with strictly platonic/brotherly friendships, why not just let two male characters with a compelling story, a strong prior friendship, and REALLY good romantic chemistry just like...be gay??? It feels natural, it’s a good ending to their arc, it feels narratively satisfying in a “Finally having the ‘will they or won’t they’ couple get together” kinda way...why not do it??? It makes ALL the damn sense and would be incredibly thematically interesting and SATISFYING, but y’all writers are COWARDS DAMMIT

Just gonna make that crack ship from Season 1 canon so we can prove that Demetri isn’t gay, no sir??? No Homo my guy??? We can only have one (1) LGBT character per television show, or the “traditional values” viewers will come for us???

Pre Season 3 I honest to god was hoping that part of Demetri’s arc, if he ran into Yasmine again, would be him realizing that he could honestly do better than someone that bitchy and vile, and having enough self-respect to just...lose interest in someone who’s going to push him around, act like he’s beneath her, and talk smack about his friends the second she thinks they’re “lame.” Maybe it isn’t too late though, and we’ll see this in Season 4? Here’s to hoping, because I am going to THROW HANDS if this fricken pairing is ENDGAME endgame. Like...what even do these people have in common, besides getting wedgies??? Do they even have like...any of the same interests??? At all??? How are they going to build a lasting relationship off of...both having gotten a wedgie? And being mean to people sometimes, I guess?

Like, sure. Let them date for a bit--they’re horny teens, they’re prone to jumping into relationships for not exactly the most deep and meaningful reasons. Physical attraction, teenage horniness, and raging hormones are no joke. So sure, I can see them having a fling solely because they both think the other’s hot. But you wanna tell me they’d LAST??? No SIR, I must inform you I Do Not Buy it.

(Tfw you meant to do a short ask making memes about what a crackship Demetri/Yasmine was in Season 1 and you ended up having WAY too much to say about All The Things and now it’s 3 am and you’re typing like a madman. I probably cycled back across the same 5 points like 5 times each because it’s late and I’m not thinking straight, I apologize.)

[azozzoni]

It’s been a day. Now it’s time to go through S4!

First off, a huge thank you and appreciation goes to skamsubita who translated an entire season in, like, a day and a half.

Brilliant. Fantastic. Amazing. Incredible.

It used to take me like 6 hours to do one translation homework in uni, so kudos to them.

Anyway, onto to what I loved about s4!

- Sana & Martino’s friendship! So pure, so well-developed from S2 when Sana blackmailed him into coming to the radio, so believable that they would be friends

- The continuation of the radio--In the og, a lot of the things they put in seemed to be used only as a one-time plot device to force characters together that were then immediately forgotten about once they had lost their usefulness. The radio is something the girls started to help Silvia and it’s something they’re still doing 2 years down the line

- The idea of the Greece trip as the main point of tension between Sana and the other girls, BCU. It makes total sense to me that Sana would feel left out. As someone who didn’t drink in high school and very rarely in college, I always felt a bit left out when it was all my friends wanted to do

- I had to laugh really hard when the Emma kissing someone bit of the trailer turned out to be Chicco greeting her xD we’re all complete idiots

- On that note, Chicco Rodi! The man, the myth, the legend, returned with actual lines and an idiotic plan to sublet a rental property to two feuding girl groups.

- When Malik talked to Sana through her door, when he helped her find mint, basically, any time he was on screen?

- The fact that the Eva kiss was not some weird contrived thing to make Sana jealous

- Filippo becoming the local spinster house where sad teens come to eat all his whipped cream and sulk together

- Federica telling Sana the truth, giving her character more depth--imagine how much guilt she’s been living with? Trying to make up for all these years?

- Silvia’s cat! We finally got to see her on screen.

- Luchino, band manager extraordinaire! “Now you only have 15 minutes!”

- The first prayer scene for Sana--the music took me straight back to 2010 but it was beautiful. Her hand-washing ritual, checking the direction on her phone, the awkward interruption bringing all the party noises back in full force

- Sana’s obsession with winning the Tricky Trap, the last bits in the credits where she takes it apart and finally wins by cheating, just like Malik told her

- the pool scene, where Malik turned around and they just stared at each other. It was so gorgeous as the camera pulled away to just watch them

- Her voice message to the girls had me in tears (okay, the last 6 episodes had me in tears) but seriously, so poignant and relatable and understandable and I don’t know how her friends didn’t want to immediately run over and hug her (okay, I get it but still)

- I really like the reunion! That’s how people are. They forgive you without explicitly saying it. They don’t show up and make a big gesture. They say, “are you coming?” and things are okay. Up to that point, they’d heard the message, they were all feeling bad and stupid but they couldn’t bring themselves to express it in a mature fashion yet ‘cause they’re teenagers and that’s what they do

- The boy squad basically telling Marti he was a complete idiot. God, what would he have done without them? Never talk to Nico again and be heartbroken forever? Nico crawling under the bed, the whole group listening at the door very obviously.

- Marti asking to throw the fisherman in the ocean. I laughed. So Marti.

- Rami being like, “what do you mean homophobic? I have a gay friend!” the fact that there was an actual backstory to Nico and Luai

- I really loved how the drama was realistic. Sana stopped herself from writing in the chat (finally! a character with some self-awareness). That the only thing she really did wrong was bringing back Fede and it was completely understandable why (though she should have just told Eva in the first place, but isn’t that the point)

- When Marti texted “babe” I was like, wtf marti would never, and then it was immediately revealed Filo had sent it lol

- The whole Silvia/Luchino thing at the end. I think they are the absolute cutest and I’m glad Silvia finally sees it and called him her boyfriend. The hug in the closet made me *heart eyes*

- We can’t not mention the Filippo/Elia conversation--”If you get lonely in your room...”

- I missed Ele, though! But I was real glad there was no incantava drama, and I’m happy that they’re happy together. I can’t believe I’m actually rooting for a noorhelm couple, but they might be the only ones

- Every time Sana and Nico talked by themselves. That Nico put his kickstand down so he could ask her about Luai, as if he wasn’t planning on leaving until she told him

There are so many more that I can’t write them all or I’d basically just be recapping the whole season. So we’ll leave it there for now.

I loved every minute we got to see Sana, that the girl squad wasn’t villainized and weren’t terrible human beings to their friend. The scene with Sana in the bathroom listening to the BCU girls was just heartbreaking, especially after everyone had just left her after the fight, sobbing by herself, hands shaking as she tried to wash off the blood.

I’m also REALLY glad this didn’t drop clip by clip. There were so many moments I thought to myself, if this had been dropped by itself, we would have spent days obsessing over this tiny thing that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of the show or the plot. While that is part of the fun of this fandom, it can also be exhausting (especially going into a season most people are extremely critical of, with an actor half the fandom hates on principle and would take any opportunity to cut down for the tiniest thing done “wrong.”)

So yeah, I really enjoyed it, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a S5 because I know Besse wouldn’t screw us over. I trust him, which is a weird thing to say, but in terms of SKAM, he’s always delivered what I expected and what I wanted. Nothing too over-the-top, nothing that doesn’t make sense, nothing just for shock value, and I appreciate that more than he can possibly know.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 2/2)

Part two, sukers! Let’s do this. Click here to read part one.

“Senses and Insensitivity”: The B-plot in this episode is outstanding. It shows the audience more about Eda and Lilith's love for each other as sisters, which actually gets a lot more heartbreaking, given what happens in "Agony of a Witch." I loved every minute of it...which is why it makes it weird that it's just the B-plot. Because while the main story is ok, I could do without it. It makes King look like a jerk, and in no way does it feel like he means it when he apologizes. Plus, the fact that Luz and King get saved by Dana's self-insert and don't even do anything to stop Piniet just doesn't sit right with me. Although, I do find the jokes about fandom mentality to be pretty funny. If it wasn't for Eda's storyline with Lilith, "Senses and Insensitivity" might just be a C+ of an episode. As is, I'll be kind enough to give it a B-.

“Adventures in the Elements'': And here it is. The episode that everyone saw months beforehand because some jackhole decided to leak it to the internet. And what an episode it is. We get some great mentor/motherly moments from Eda. Some perfect course correction from Ed and Em going from unlikable antagonists to decent supporting characters. Having Luz learn a second spell, and having the growth between her and Amity's relationship. And a semi-enjoyable B-plot with King and an army of stuffed animals (which is just as funny as it sounds). My problem? Pacing. While King's subplot about an army of stuffed animals is fun, I feel like more time should have been dedicated to Luz getting trained by Eda. That way, it’ll feel natural to see as Luz reaches her breaking point due to going nowhere with Eda's training, which would feel justified rather than making Luz come across as kind of whiney in the episode (at least to me, she does). Another issue I have is with how Luz and Amity's relationship is presented in this episode. It genuinely feels like we skipped an episode because Amity went from "thinking about it" to getting distracted by waving at her bestie. Now keep in mind, I'm the first one to say "who cares" when people bring up the poor pacing in Luz and Amity's relationship due to Disney having little to nothing in terms of LGBTQ+ representation in children's animation. But the thing is, their relationship feels more properly paced in future episodes, but it's not the case here. So it's gonna have to be another B- in that regard.

(And seriously, don't ever leak episodes from a show, even if it's your favorite. Because not only does it ruin the experience for fans who want to support it the right way, but it also hurts the show itself. Because if people stop watching episodes, guess what? They'll stop making them. And nobody wants that.)

“The First Day”: Is it odd that I like an episode that's clearly not great? Because there's so much about "The First Day" that I enjoy. I like the entirety of the detention track and the fact that they're not typical troublemakers. I like the message about how it's unfair to force children to learn something they're not interested in because it's for a "better education." And I would frickin' take a bullet for Puddles. Unfortunately, this episode has some of the worst pacing in the series. Let's look at what this episode has to accomplish: It has to force Luz into a track and explain why it's a poor fit for her. It has to have Luz be interested in another track and get in trouble due to being too curious. It has to establish a connection between Luz and the detention track so they can have a heartbreaking third-act breakup. It has to set up, then introduce, a monster that will try to destroy Hexide. And finally, defeating the creature has to tie into why it's a good idea for students to mix tracks. That is a lot to do in under twenty-two minutes, and it makes the episode feels like it’s on fast foward at times. I'd say the solution would be to cut King's substitute teacher subplot (which only has value with one good joke), but that would only give "The First Day" a couple of extra seconds. So, really, the only way to "fix" the episode is to probably give it a few minutes by making it a forty-five-minute special. I'm sure fans wouldn't mind that. They love Luz and her journey enough that I'm sure they would be more than ok to see a more lengthy experience through the halls of Hexide. But that's not what we got, so it's gonna have to be a D+ episode. I don't hate it, but I don't blame others who do.

“Really Small Problems”: "Ugh, it's the cliche--" WE'VE! BEEN! OVER THIS! Does this episode have a cliche storyline? Yes. Is this pretty much the first filler episode of the series? Of course. But is it still entertaining? Without a doubt. There are great jokes, adorable moments with Luz and King's friendship, and little moments that I love. Like the fact that it was an accident that King shrunk Willow and Gus, and how Luz treated the situation calmly and rationally instead of blowing her stack. "Really Small Problems" may not be high up on my favorites list, but it's at least a fun B episode that was well worth a single viewing.

“Understanding Willow”: You wanna know what impresses me the most about The Owl House? The fact that Dana and her writers knew what the fans exactly want before they even started asking for it. The fans wanted to know what happened between Willow and Amity, and so the staff showed us. Fans wanted to see what Mr. and Mrs. Blight are really like, and the staff showed us. Fans wanted a Luz and Amity centric adventure, and the staff gave it to us. And because they've been working on the first season long before fan input started coming out, that means that we were going to get what we want before even having to ask. Most shows would save content in "Understanding Willow" for a second and even third season, so it amazes me that the writers waste no time in giving us the good stuff. Add that with a great "I'm sorry" speech from Amity, cute moments between her and Luz, Luz being an understanding friend, and Eda's bell dance, and you've got yourself an A+ of an episode.

As I said, I've already reviewed the last four episodes. But if you're interested in what I have to say, here are the condensed versions of my thoughts. Click the episode titles if you want to see the full review: 

“Enchanted Grom Fright”: Speaking of giving the fans what they want, the fans have been obsessed over Lumity damn near since the beginning, myself included. So now you're gonna give us a prom episode filled with flirting in the hallway, a dope dance sequence, and the reveal that Amity has a crush on Luz? All while showing more of Luz's relationship with her mother and the fear Luz has of telling Camila the truth?! Then consider this an A+ episode that might just be a crucial moment in Disney's history!

“Wing it Like Witches”: This is a fantastic episode. And no, it's not because of Amity's gay panic attacks towards Luz...ok, it's partially because of that. But it's also because this episode shows how far characters come developmental wise. Willow became more confident, and Amity is actually part of the group now. It all comes together when the most developed characters team up against one who'll most likely get little development. It's a solid A of an episode that always leaves me smiling when I watch it.

“Agony of a Witch”: Yup. The single image of Luz crying is still enough to tear me up inside. And man, what an episode. The tension, the drama, the REVEAL! Lilith admitting she cursed Eda still shocks me because it could not have been farther from what I expected. Especially given the sisterly bond that we've seen in past episodes. So yeah, this is another A+ for sure.

“Young Blood, Old Souls”: I've heard some people say that the season finale is underwhelming, and I think I know why? You see, this has what I like to call Infinity War to Endgame syndrome. Part one does a great job of setting up the tension and stakes, that part two seems to pale in comparison in an attempt to relieve some of that tension. Because since part one ended, people have been hyping themselves up for part two to be such an epic conclusion that it couldn't have completely lived up to the ridiculously high standards. It's the same reason why I never felt disappointed with either Avengers: Endgame or "Young Blood, Old Souls." I had high expectations, sure, but I also reminded myself that there is a chance that either might be unenjoyable. And guess what? I consider Avengers: Endgame an A+ movie and "Young Blood, Old Souls" an A+ episode. Is either story perfect? No, but here's the thing. I could list all the nitpicks I have, or I could keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy it for the parts that are perfect.

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And that's it! That's what I think about every single episode of The Owl House so far. As for my thoughts on the show itself, I think it's incredible. It has a nice balance of comedy and drama with specific episodes, has an intriguing story, and includes some of the best representation that Disney has had in decades. But that doesn't mean the show is perfect. Pacing can be a bit off at times, some B-plots are just unnecessary to pad out the time, and not every joke can land. But to be fair, this is season one. Dana Terrace and her crew have more than enough time to polish out the rough parts for what is hoped to be a better season two. And I still can’t to see what they have in store for us.

[verus-veritas]

Collan's Caption This Catch Up

I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. Coming to live in a college dorm after years of a hermit-like high school existence was culture shock. Back home I was the weird, skinny nerd, the token gay social outcast who did his best to avoid the rest of the small-minded, small town denizens who were all too willing torment the obvious outsider given the slightest opportunity, never mind that I had been born there just like the rest of them. So I had made sure the opportunities they got were few and far between, and I had assumed I would continue staying out of the way in college. Keeping my head down was a winning strategy. Why mess with success? What I hadn't counted on was the reality of being forced to live cheek-by-jowl with a seeming unending parade of ideal male bodies. Within the first hour I was overwhelmed by them. On the paths of the campus they walked, in the lounges of the dorm they casually relaxed, in the halls they fist bumped with their bros, and one in particular even invaded my room. I had requested a single room and had thought it had gotten approved, but in typical bureaucratic fashion I showed up on the first day of Freshman orientation to find someone already occupying an obvious double room. I had a roommate. Cullen McCathers. From that very first day, I discovered that even though he spoke to me in a friendly enough fashion and I apparently responded appropriately to the conversation, none of it really registered. He remained a remote and unattainable object despite our sharing a living space, because my thoughts, my gaze, the core of my very being seemed to be pulled into his orbit on a visceral level. He was muscled and toned like a fitness model, and he had a strong face that lit up when he smiled. His voice was sexy, his eyes were sexy, his walk was sexy. His scent, whenever I managed to get a whiff of it, drove me wild with desire, and after watching him unself-consciously change in our room to go take a shower, I knew he was hung so big that I wondered how he dealt with all of that meat in his crotch on a daily basis.

Within a day my universe shifted, and he became its center. He filled my waking fantasies and starred in my nightly dreams.

I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. ***********

I guess my capability for intense mental concentration and focus, coupled with the depth of my obsession helped trigger the beginning of it. Each night I would think of Cullen as I drifted off to sleep, going over in detail the fragments of him I had collected in my mind that day, cherishing the nape of his neck, the swell of his bicep, the revelation of his tongue darting out to moisten dry lips. I yearned for him and cast myself towards him with wild abandon in my head. And then one night a couple of weeks into the semester, I felt myself drift off to sleep as usual with thoughts of Cullen filling my head, like the proverbial visions of sugarplums, but instead of my consciousness slipping away until morning, it slipped sideways instead and I found myself hovering just off the floor next to Cullen's sleeping body. I looked across the room towards my bed, if what I did can be called looking, seeing as I was a bodiless consciousness, and I saw my own body just where I would have expected to see it, lying and breathing gently in slumber. I was surprisingly unconcerned with what was undoubtedly a highly unusual occurrence. Instead, I was fascinated by what was happening and started to examine my disembodied self. I seemed to perceive some sort of silvery cord leading back to my body, and a scrap of information surfaced from my endless eclectic reading over the years. Astral projection. This is what this was. I had written it off as new age crap, but here was proof to me that not only was it not crap, but I had somehow managed to achieve it. I turned back to look at Cullen and saw the same silvery cord stretching out of his body and out through the wall, anchoring his dream self to his physical self as he journeyed through the night. The instant I realized this, my thoughts became action, and I flew out of the room through the wall, following Cullen's silvery cord.

The world blurred by dissolving into formless colors, before brightening and resolving into a daytime city street. Cullen was there, arguing with a police officer, a clown, and a talking cartoon goldfish in a bowl hovering in mid-air. Cullen was dreaming, and I was in his dream. I sensed some sort of change in myself and looked down to see that I had a body again. I walked towards the arguing quartet, but as I did the police officer flew up into the air, the clown popped like a balloon, and the goldfish in the bowl turned into a demonic cheerleader who began to chase a suddenly terrified Cullen down the sidewalk towards me. I was enraged that anything would dare to try and hurt Cullen, so I grabbed a parking meter out of the sidewalk and stabbed the cheerleader through the chest with it. She dropped to the ground instantly and vanished. "Oh, man! I thought I was dead for sure! You saved my life! Thank you!" said Cullen and hugged me tight. I went rigid in shock. Cullen had spoken to me, and for the first time it had actually registered as words instead of meaningless gibberish. Cullen had touched me. Cullen had hugged me! For the briefest of moments Cullen's dream world had become real to me, and the combination of his speaking to me, touching me, and hugging me threw me into such turmoil that between one instant and the next I was suddenly waking up in my bed in my darkened dorm room, gasping for air and shaking in reaction. I was obsessed with Cullen McCathers. ***********

To say that my obsession with Cullen deepened from that point on would be a gross understatement. Now that I knew I could spend all of my sleeping time with Cullen, I began to do so on a regular basis. He had starred in my dreams and now I began to star in his, sleep-stalking him every night. In his dreams, I found I could actually talk with him in a way that I was completely unable to in the waking world. Admittedly, most of the conversations were variations of his thanking me for one rescue or another since I became his dream protector and hero, saving him from countless monsters, demons, witches, aliens, and bad guys who were gunning for him because someone had framed him for a murder he didn't commit. After that first dream hug, I did everything I could to initiate physical contact between us during our nightly escapades, an arm casually draped over his shoulder, a hand gently tousling his hair, countless little touches, smiles, looks into his eyes. In the waking world, he grew more open and friendly towards me, looking at me more, smiling at me more, continuing to try and engage me in conversation despite the fact that I continued to blank it all out and watch our interactions as an observer, rather than as the active participant I was when we dreamed together.

It also dawned on me that there was a sexual tension between us that hadn't existed before. I was still jacking off to mental images of him every chance I got, but I realized he was spending more and more time wearing less and less when we were alone together in our room. He had never been shy about displaying his body, but as the days went by he went from t-shirts to muscle shirts to tank tops to bare torso, and from sweats to shorts to briefs to nothing at all. I exerted every ounce of my self control to not stare at the obvious things and be as casual and nonchalant about it as he seemed to be. The weeks passed, and the days grew shorter as fall progressed towards winter. I welcomed the turning of the seasons, because longer nights meant more time to sleep and dream with Cullen. Things might have continued on this way, but one evening in early November I went to sleep and slid sideways out of my body to find I wasn't alone in the room. There was another presence like myself, hovering just off the floor next to my bed as I was hovering next to Cullen's. It was another waking dreamer, I knew, and as I looked more closely I realized its silvery cord led straight to Cullen's sleeping body!

"Now it all makes sense," came Cullen's voice in my mind. "This is what you do. This is how you're always in my dreams." "Yes," I replied. "It happened first spontaneously, but it quickly became directed. I'm sorry. I can't seem to help myself where you're concerned." "You love me, don't you?" he asked. "Yes," I admitted sadly, thinking that this was probably going to be some sort of ending. "I've been obsessed with you from the first day. Love followed quickly once I started to get to know you through your dreams. I can't seem to talk to you when I'm awake. I think the reality of you is too much for me to take after a lifetime of isolation, but all I want is to be with you, in all ways, always and forever, to love and protect you, to be one with you. I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry? Can't you tell I feel the same way? Ever since you invaded my dreams and started saving me, I've become obsessed with you too. I go to sleep each night, knowing that you'll be there to keep me safe, even though you can't say so during the day. I could tell the feeling was there somehow, that we were connected on a deeper level. I've been longing to meet you on that deeper level, and now, suddenly, here we are." "You love me too?" I asked incredulously. "Yes," he said simply, and even though he had no body at the moment to express it, I felt the warmth of his smile on me anyway. I moved towards his warmth, and he moved towards me. We met in the center of our dorm room, still hovering just off the floor, and with no transition our bodiless bodies merged into a single being with two silvery tethers anchored at opposite sides of the room. There are no words to describe the unity we experienced in that moment. Pile every description imaginable of physical and emotional intimacy on top of each other, squeeze them all together, multiply all of that by any impossibly large number you can think of, then magnify it all again by an equally impossibly large number and you still won't approach it. Neither of us were prepared for it, and like the first time Cullen had hugged me, I found myself suddenly abruptly awake in my body in my bed. The only difference was that this time, Cullen was awake too. He launched himself, naked and erect, out of his bed and across the room to mine. I had thrown my blanket off, and his beautiful bare body landed on top of me, his mouth seeking mine to devour me. His gigantic cock leaked onto my stomach as he ground his crotch into mine, only my briefs separating us. He moaned his frustration into my mouth as we kissed, then he sat up and back, reached down, grabbed the opening in the front of my briefs, and with a grunt, ripped them open and yanked the remains out from under me, leaving me as naked as he was.

He laid himself fully down on top of me again and our legs intertwined. He kissed me again, and we were touching all along the length of our bodies, from feet to crotch to mouth. His cock ground down into me and my hips pushed myself in turn up into him, trying to somehow physically force our bodies to merge as our essences had in the moment before we awoke. Given our frenzy, we didn't last very long, and we shot together allowing at least part of our physical selves to merge into one as we mixed our cum together between our heaving bodies. As amazing as the orgasm had been, as amazing as it was that I now knew this beautiful body on top of me held a soul that loved me in a way that I had never felt before, my eyes started to fill and tears began to drip down my cheeks with sadness, because I knew that I would never be able to experience in the waking world the unity we had shared as we slept. I looked up at Cullen, and saw tears to mirror my own. I was with Cullen McCathers. ***********

I'm not entirely sure how we got through the next few weeks. We somehow got through classes and kept up some semblance of normalcy during the day, but it all seemed remote and unreal, because at night we left our bodies behind and merged together until dawn. After a while, it became harder to determine where I ended and he began. Our body language, speech patterns, and ways of thinking became similar to the point that at times it felt like we were one person living in two bodies. Thanksgiving approached, and with it the inevitable family obligations. We had become so detached from life outside school and each other that it was almost a surprise when it was time to part and we realized we should have made plans to avoid the separation. There was no help for it, though, so off we both dutifully went, to our individual destinations. Wednesday night was misery. I was back in the place I had grown up, that I hated and that hated me. I went to bed early, eager to experience the all-consuming love that I had discovered with Cullen, only to discover that I was unable to reach him fully. We had a vague sense of each other across the distance, but we couldn't seem to connect. I spent the night lonely and aching in my heart. Thursday was just as bad, spending Thanksgiving Day with my perpetually distant parents. It made no sense to me that they would want me here today after years of not really caring whether I was around or not. I had someone now who wanted me and I wasn't with him. The night was another one of yearning and a futile struggle to connect with Cullen in our dreams. Friday the separation became actual pain. My head hurt, my heart hurt, my body and soul ached to be with Cullen. I begged off the Black Friday shopping trip, knowing I would not be able to bear the long drive to the nearest town that was large enough to have decent places to pointlessly spend money on meaningless gifts. My parents drove off and I went back to my old room and flopped on the bed. After the last two frustrating nights I was feeling defeated and depressed, and I began to resign myself to not being with Cullen again until Sunday. I eventually felt myself drifting off to sleep, only this time, for the first time in months, I actually slept and dreamed. Except it wasn't a dream, it was a horrific nightmare, the details of which I didn't remember upon my panicked awakening except for the sensations of terror and profound loss. I curled up on my side, hugged my pillow, and sobbed uncontrollably at the feeling that if I didn't do something drastic, I would somehow lose the connection Cullen and I had found. I couldn't let it slip away, to become just me again instead of the unity of us. I had slept longer than I had expected to and it was already late afternoon. Knowing my mom, my parents wouldn't be back from the shopping frenzy until late so I had hours left to be undisturbed. Dropping off to sleep had almost become second nature to me, so it was easy for me to roll over and take back control of my unconsciousness. One thought was uppermost in my mind. I had to reach Cullen, no matter what. My eyes closed, my breathing deepened, and unlike earlier in the day, I slipped sideways out of my body as I fell asleep. This time I had a new determination and started to fly across the miles to my obvious starting point in my search for Cullen – the room that we shared. I felt pulled tight across the distance from my body, but I held on to where I was through the familiarity of the location. Uncertain what to do next, I hovered once again in the place that was ours, where I could feel him all around me even without his being there. I knew my sense of time was distorted when I noticed it was dark outside. I had been here simply contemplating Cullen, and hours had drifted by without my realizing. I began to notice, too, that my sense of him was growing stronger rapidly. My excitement and longing for him grew with each passing moment until the door opened, and there he was. I could tell he was as angry and frustrated as I had been. I moved to surround him and comfort him, but he couldn't feel me there. He sat on his bed for a little, but his tension didn't seem to be allowing him to relax. He turned to his travel bag and pulled out a bottle of wine, opened it, and drank some straight from the bottle, then went and sat on *my* bed and put his face into my pillow, breathing in deeply through his nose. He hugged the pillow to his chest and a tear dripped down his cheek. After a bit, he got up, tossed my pillow back on my bed, grabbed the bottle and headed out the door. I followed wondering where he was going. His goal turned out to be the top floor lounge at the back of the dorm, where very few people bothered to go. It was deserted, since it was the Friday evening after Thanksgiving. Cullen drank some more wine and gradually seemed to relax. By the time the bottle was empty, he had propped himself up across a couple of chairs and was staring blankly at the wall. Bit by bit his eyes closed, and then there he was, slipping sideways out of his body to join me. "You're here!" he said with surprise. "I've been waiting for you. I pushed and pushed to get here across the distance. I wasn't sure where I was going to go from here. The distance is difficult, but you came back, and you're here, and now we can be together again." And just like that we were. We were one again and our joy was endless. The unity of ourselves into a single being was a miracle, and all the sweeter for having been denied it the last two days. The only things that marred our joining were the silvery cords heading off to different places, Cullen's to his body in the chairs just next to us, and mine to my far away self. We were one. We needed to be one. All other parts of us were one. The cords needed to be one too. We were tugging on my silvery cord in an attempt to push it into his, when suddenly there was a sensation of severing, and an unattached tendril reeled in from a distance, flailed around as if seeking purchase, then laid itself down over Cullen's cord and into his body. ***********

We awoke with a start, disoriented from being in an unaccustomed place, uncomfortable from having fallen asleep on the chairs, and still drunk from the wine. We felt such an overwhelming feeling of happiness and well-being that we wished we could tell someone, but we knew no one would ever really understand. As I stumbled back to my room, I knew that the other bed would be remaining empty, but that was ok. I was with my love and I was within my love. We were one person forever. I was one person with no further need for two bodies. I undressed for bed and looked down at my body as usual and for the first time, happy with what I saw. I was masculine and strong in my body. I was loved and protected in my soul. I was Cullen McCathers.

Source: “Collan's Caption This Catch Up (10th May)”

[nightphans]

bicci outed, and it’s rowans fault (kinda)

{ read here on ao3 !!}

{read other chapters here }

it was all bliss’s fault.

bliss, the fucker, had convinced rowan to do a live stream.

rowan hated live-streams.

but well, bliss had been going on and on about how ‘content deprived’ the fans were during the hiatus. how desperate they were for anything at all really.

rowan thought it was pathetic; but he ended up doing the live stream, just to make bliss stop nagging.

if he hadn’t live streamed, this never would’ve happened.and he wouldn’t have live-streamed if not for bliss. therefore this was 100% bliss’s fault.right?

~

it was around 7 in the evening when rowan omandi tweeted he would be going live shortly, and it was at 7:15 when he actually started up. he was situated at his desk, sitting in front of his laptop. see, the layout of his room here is important. with his desk in one corner of the room facing the door that led into the corridor.

rowan always left his room door open, something everyone found pretty strange. a lot of people {{the author included!!}} had some weird obsession with keeping their bedroom door closed. well, rowan was the opposite.

rowan’s room was at the end of the hallway. jimmy’s room was located at the right wall with the bathroom facing it; on rowans left. lister’s room was further up the hall

he hadn’t mentioned to either jimmy or lister that he would be going live, since they were watching a movie together.and he didn’t want to interrupt their weird not date ‘date’.

rowan just wished they’d ask each other out already. he knew they were hooking up, but that was all at the moment apparently. which was fucking dumb, because the romantic tension between the two was driving rowan insane.

sure, this relationship could ruin the band.yes, it would be kinda weird. but dear god, that’d be much better than watching the two eyefucking all the time and being all nervous and shy around each other. it was sickening to say the least.

the fans asked questions about the hiatus,about whether this meant they were ‘breaking up’, about how long the hiatus would be for. they pestered about jimmy’s disappearance 2 months ago, about his ex-girlfriend bliss and what it meant for ‘jowan’ (he tried not to make the -_- face irl), about lister’s hospital visit. then they asked about jowan again, and he tried not to roll his eyes.

rowan answered some questions and avoided others for obvious reasons. when someone asked if he’d listened to the latest harry styles song, he read the question out loud and shook his head casually.

apparently, this was outrageous.and fans demanded he listened to it ‘right this instance’ because it was ‘ almost good as [his] own music !! (but not as good, of course)’

and so that’s how rowan ended up putting on the music video for harry styles’ latest song on his ipad. he tore his attention away from the live chat and his face on the screen for a moment to watch; he was fully aware the fans would be analysing his every facial expression in reaction. usually that’d annoy him, and it did, but he was too caught up in the music video to care.

he was too caught up in the video to notice jimmy and lister stumbling down the hall, limbs entangled and lips pressed together as they moved into jimmy’s room. jimmy’s arms wrapped around listers neck and lister’s hands roaming jimmy’s torso, pushing him back into his room and then closing the door behind them.

he was too caught up to notice the camera had caught all of that, and he was too caught up to notice the comments screaming in the chat.

‘ OHMYGEODUNDJDB NO WAY’

‘ AM I SEEING SHIT? WTF ????’

‘ WTF’

‘ AHHHH’

‘ CAN ABYONE CONFIRM THAT WAS JIMMY AND LISTER MAKING OUT W H A T’

‘ IM IN LITERAL SHOCK HWTFFFD’

‘ CAN CONFIRM’

‘ WHAT ABOYT JOWAN IM GONNA CRU😭😭😭’

‘ SO ITS BESN JISTER THIS WHOLE TIME??? LIMMY??? BICCI???’

‘ SOMEONE HAD THAT RECORDED ROFHT????’

‘ the way rowan is still watching the video and just VIBING oh my g o d what 😭😭’

‘ I KNEW IT !!!!’

‘ they hella gay...good for them. good for them’

rowan finally looked up at the laptop screen, looking back at his reflection. he was streaming on his laptop, but had the chat open on his phone.

“ that was awesome! everything was so visually aesthetic!” he smiled, pushing his glasses up. he then proceeded to babble about it. he didn’t glance at the chat until he heard a loud moan, causing him to temporarily freeze, before going to normal.

fuck, he hoped no one had heard that.he hadn’t even heard lister and jimmy make their way to the bedroom.he waited a moment before checking the chat, not to draw attention to the moan by immediately checking. fans would speculate shit.

his heart jumped out of his chest when he read the chat.

“ I JUST HEARD A MOAN OH M Y GODSDDD LISTER AND JIMMY ARE FUCJINH WTFFFF’

‘ IM LITERALLY GONNA COMBIST WHAT IS HAPPENINHGGGGGG’

‘ omg jimmy gettin that dicc bahsahahsh’

rowan looked back up at the screen, trying not to freak out. fuck fuck fuck fuck.

this happened lister, not him. lister was the one who always managed to leak their secrets, even if it was by accident. this did not happen to rowan, ever.

he tried to play it off, starting to talk about how this hiatus had given him a lot of room for creativity and writing new songs; hopefully it would take their attention away from the moan.

it didn’t.

it might have, if the noises hadn’t continued. but they did, and dear god, they were much louder. jimmy’s bed was beside the wall that separated their rooms, he knew that. but he didn’t think the walls carried sound so easily. he could hear jimmy, his childhood best friend, fucking whining listers name. it was more than disturbing, to say the least. it was more disturbing that the fans in the chat were fucking fangirling over this, or expressing disappointment because their precious ship was finally proven to not be real. if rowan could hear this, they probably could too.it was sickening, how involved they felt in his friends’,and his own, personal lives.it was sickening, how involved they felt in his friends’,and his own, personal lives. it was sickening, how involved they felt in his friends’,and his own, personal lives.

ihis stomach churned thinking about how lister and jimmy were having a private moment, and it was being exposed by the internet.

and it was his fault.

well, not really. but he still felt guilty.

he pretended to check his phone.

“ oh shit! my friend uh, my friend just texted me. she needs me to come over stat. so we’ll have to cut this short, sorry everyone! see you later!” he rushed, looking up at the camera.

that was a mistake, they’d probably be able to read the lies in his eyes. the guilt written all over his face.

he ended the stream with a click of a button, letting out a heavy sigh.

fuck.

should he tell them now? or wait for them to finish?

ugh, it was so gross thinking about how his two best friends were currently doing it in the room next door. he tried not to dwell on it, but he could still fucking hear them.

he put on his headphones and crawled into his bed, which luckily wasn’t against the wall next to jimmy’s room. he squeezed his eyes shut and put on some music, trying not to overthink ( that was jimmy’s expertise,not his,thank you very much). trying not to dwell on the consequences he’d be facing sooner than later.

fuck, this was such a mess.

people were probably tweeting about it now, it would most likely be trending in less than an hour.

he didn’t want to check yet, not before he had too. this was the calm before the storm, and no way was he letting it go to waste.

nope.

the panicking and damage control could wait, for now he was just in bed listening to frank ocean and laying on his bed on your typical Sunday night.

maybe if he locked his room and stayed here forever he wouldn’t have to deal with jimmy’s inevitable breakdown, the fans’ theories and invasive questions, cecily trying not to murder him (and lister and jimmy for being horny shits)

this was such a damn mess. but he could deal with it later, right?

[theparanormalperiodical]

13 Weird Things That Happened During The Full Moon And WHY They Happened

You’d think as someone that spends most of their free time writing about the paranormal that I’d have witnessed certain things in my life.

Perhaps I’d grown up in a haunted house?

Maybe I’ve seen a ghostly figure traipse around a house during a tour of the property I would soon call home?

And what about that imaginary friend that liked to tell me about that time daddy got angry and buried mummy in the cellar?

Whilst at least 2 of those 3 things are true, the reality is I haven’t had that many encounters with those from beyond the grave.

But there’s always one thing that made me know there was more to the world than the things we can see. There was always one thing that reassured me that there was magic and mystery we have yet to explore. 

And that was the moon.

It was only last week that I was reminded of my affinity for the full moon, when everything just felt…

Odd.

Everything felt close and isolating and honestly I can’t find the words to describe it. And a blogger, that’s a problem. 

My Wiccan best friend - just like a gay best friend, only I’m not Carrie Bradshaw and my life isn’t dedicated to finding a husband - said the same thing, noting that this cycle’s full moon was extremely intense for her, too.

She said she often experiences insomnia when the moon is fully illuminated, whereas I’m probably on the ‘lunacy’ side of the spectrum. 

I’d simply never felt a lunar cycle so strongly. 

So, I thought I’d do a little digging - and it turns out I’m not the only one that has such an adverse reaction to the full moon. Turns out that the whole world has never really known how to cope with the middle of the lunar cycle, and still struggles to act normal on the one day of the month.

I guess you could say things are about to get…

Paranormal.

Today we are gonna get talkin’ ‘bout what the moon really means - historically, scientifically, and spiritually. And then we’re gonna get to the stuff you clicked on this post for.

All the creepy shizz that has gone down when the moon is full.

The Science Behind The Full Moon

*Pushes glasses up nose*

*Realises I’m wearing contact and feels like prat*

The full moon is a lunar phase when the moon is fully illuminated from the perspective of the Earth. This occurs when the Earth is between the sun and the moon. 

There has been no evidence to suggest it has any effect on human behaviour. Only there has been. And there’s a lot of it. The thing is, none of the studies brought together show any distinct pattern. 

Sometimes the full moon affects things negatively, like more violent criminal acts taking place; sometimes the full moon affects things positively, like baby booms. Either way, something rather fishy is going on…

And fishy is the right word.

Our obsession with the moon can be traced back to how we have used it to chart our lives.

Studies on sea organisms have proven how this is still utilised by animals who don’t have the benefit of asking Siri to set a reminder to put the bins out; creatures have used it to anticipate changes in the environment, such as certain organisms being more active during the new moon when its darker to avoid being seen by predators. 

Historically, humans have also followed the lunar cycles as a calendar, and certain societies still do:

Native Americans still denote the full moons different names depending on the month and season, a concept that still lingers even outside of the Americas.

Take the ‘harvest moon’, or the ‘hunter’s moon’ - these are the full moons that coincide with different seasons. 

Most pre-modern calendars were also based on the lunar cycle, explaining why our months (not the similarity to the word ‘moon’) mirror length of the lunar cycle (29.5 days). 

The thing is, our current reliance on physical calendars doesn’t mean we’ve ditched our dependence on the moon. But it seems our relationship with the moon has shifted from a reliance to somewhat of a curse.

And this curse comes back, month after month, like clockwork.

This curse is called Lunar Theory.

What Is Lunar Theory?

This theory claims there’s a link between the lunar cycle and human behaviour. Mood changes, an increase in fertility, a spike in social tension - the moon has been and will continue to be blamed for a variety of problems.

And this started, well, at the beginning of time.

Since ancient times the moon has been associated with odd behaviour, from insomnia to insanity. For some reason, epilepsy is also frequently associated with it, alongside more general ‘madness’.

Ever considered where the term ‘lunacy’ came from? It is derived from the Goddess Luna, the deity of the moon, who would supposedly spend her evenings riding a silver chariot across the sky. 

Even in the the 18th century, English psychiatric hospitals made a point of restraining and shackling their patients during the full moon. But if you weren’t in the hospital, you’d probably be citing the full moon as a defence for their criminal actions.

But expressing ‘odd’ behaviour wasn’t the most common link between humans and the moon: it was mainly used to judge women’s fertility.

Aside from the lunar cycle sharing the same length as a women’s menstrual cycle, many ancient texts claimed it could be used to determine pregnancy. 

A Czeh doctor in the 1950s discovered one such text from the Assyrian era, a text which claims a woman’s fertility can be pinpointed by the phase of the moon. If you were born under the full moon, for example, your peak-baby-making-potential would be at the full moon. 

A study of a baby boom at Kyoto which coincided with a Supermoon supported this claim, as did the fact that half of the scientific reports regarding the moon are about female fertility and pregnancy. 

Outside of the womb, society is also afflicted by the lunar cycle.

A study of Floridian society across 5 years saw an increase in both aggravated assault and homicide during the full moon. Such claims have had a permanent impact on a variety of judicial systems, particularly the police.

Even the stock markets are affected, with averages peaking higher nearer the new moon than the full moon!

Another peculiar impact is that of motorbike accidents, with a sharp spike of 5.3% during the full moon. Then again, the full moon could be a worthy distraction, especially if you’re coming round a corner and see a glowing orb not dissimilar to a headlight.

And so, the demise of innocent bikers is our segue into a similarly deathy-topic.

The Spiritual Meaning Of The Moon

The full moon has clearly amassed many spooky attributes in its time, but it's the lunar cycle as a whole which has earned a deep, spiritual meaning.

Given the link between the moon and menstruation, the moon is symbolically considered female, guiding our emotions and representing the subconscious. 

Think of the natural cycles of life, or the tides of our oceans; what is on the surface doesn’t reveal the vast depths below. Beyond our inner selves, the moon also represents learning, among a variety of other concepts this article doesn’t have room for.

However, this post does leave room for the dichotomy between the moon and the sun. The sun represents our outer selves and our strength, and the rom-com-esque mythological story between the moon and sun continues to confirm this relationship. 

For the spiritual among us, there are actually many ways to connect with the entire lunar cycle and use it to your full advantage.

The lunar cycle supposedly represents a cycle of life, or, in more simple terms, the cycle of an idea or a project.

It starts with the new moon:

It's a fresh start, a time to be alone and recharge, a time to turn inwards to yourself as the moon does itself (it presents its dark side to us, turning away from the Earth). It is advised that you write your intentions for the next 29.5 days to make the most of your lunar cycle.

Through the waxing period of the moon (leading up to the full moon), projects develop, encountering obstacles and editing your ideas. Allow your dreams and curiosity to fuel you during this time, guiding you to fulfilling your desires.

At the full moon, clarity is reached. But with opposing zodiac signs present, tensions and emotions spike. Revel in the light the full moon is famous for, whether your bathing in the light of the full moon or recharging your crystals. 

The waning period (leading to the new moon) is all about letting go and reaching emptiness, completing the cycle. Sure, it might sound like a rather sad way to end the cycle, but it should actually be used to honour your achievements, as well as recognising the bad habits that might be holding you back. 

On another level - or on another spiritual plain, that is - the paranormal also come out to play when the moon is brightest.

According to Mark Keyes, the head of the Pennsylvania Paranormal Association (a former police detective who noticed the spikes in criminal activity during the full moon) claims that both the moon and the changing of the seasons points to an increase in paranormal activity.

From the end of September through to the mid-winter, we are the most sensitive to the supernatural as the veil between the worlds thin.

Whether its mediums being able to chat to ghosts more easily, or non-mediums being more susceptible to spirits, we are able to see activity on a much greater level. 

And I mean that in a literal sense.

The full moon provides a greater level of light to us, allowing us to see spooky goings-on. Yet beyond what we can see, there are two other explanations for this growing connection between us and that which is 6 feet deep:

If there’s an increase in human activity during the full moon, surely this could take its toll on the spirit world, too?

Many religions cite the spirit world as under the sea, such as the Celtic Otherworld. As the moon affects tides, surely the gravitational pull would impact those beyond the grave as well?

13 Weird Things That Have Happened During Full Moons

Urban legends, horror movies, ghost stories that your grandmother used to tell you before making some off-hand racist comment about the newsreader on the telly…

They all have one thing in common: they all start with a full moon.

And as it turns out, real stories of strange and historic occurrences share this, too. 

#1 - The Birth Of Jesus Christ

Remember this minor detail in history, you know, the one that kickstarted a new religion and changed the face of human history forever?

Yeah, that’s the one, the birth of the son of God.

In an attempt to date the birth of Christ, historians have used one detail mentioned surrounding the death of King Herod which occurred after the birth of the King of the Jews:

Records claim Herod died shortly after a lunar eclipse. 

We know it happened before Passover, which means around March, so this could either be March 13th 4BC, or January 10th 1BC. The latter lunar eclipse was much more significant and thus more likely to be recorded, suggesting Jesus was likely born around 2 BC.

#2 - Columbus Being A Colonial Dick

Colonialism fucking sucks. 

And given there’s been so much of it throughout history, it’s no surprise that one of these terrible occurrences went down on a full moon. The thing is, Christopher Columbus himself - the champion of sailing to other places and planting a flag there - used a lunar eclipse as a part of his plans to plant a flag on Jamaica’s shores.

During an expedition, he and his crew found themselves marooned on unknown territory with dwindling reserves of both food and morale.

To convince the Jamaicans to cooperate with his expedition, he threatened to take away their moon, fully aware that a lunar eclipse was set to strike.

Low and behold, a ruddy, angry looking blood moon graced their skies.

In fear, they asked him to bring it back. He prayed, and the normal moon returned, convincing them that he had otherworldly powers and should thus follow his orders.

Told you he was a dick.

#3 - Benjamin Franklin Gave Us A Geography Lesson

Considering the current president, I never expected to have anything in common with a leader of the free world.

(Apart from the rampant sexism, you stupid b*tch.)

But it turns out that Ben Franklin was just as intrigued by the moon as I am! During a stint in his home city of Philadelphia, he was keen to see a total eclipse. Unfortunately, bad weather dashed his hopes of witnessing the phenomena.

The thing is, a letter from his brother later received claimed the weather would clear by the time the eclipse occurred.

This prompted him to investigate weather patterns along the coast and even lead him to write a treatise on the matter.

Writing about geography? Clearly this is evidence of lunacy.

#4 - Lawrence Of Arabia Earned His Nickname (1917)

The lunar cycle is namedropped in many prophecies, often being used as an omen or a sign of certain events to follow.

Indeed, this was what lent a helping hand to the English military icon affectionately known as Lawrence of Arabia. 

With a lunar eclipse on the cards, they could easily overrun a Turkish fort full of soldiers who were banging pots and shooting at the moon as they believed an Islamic prophecy heralding the day of judgement was coming true.

#5 - The Athenians F*Ck Up In The Battle Of Syracuse

Okay, so it might not be a technical term Lawrence of Arabia would’ve used to discuss such tactics, but when a lunar eclipse occurred (on the 28th August 413 BC), Nicias, the bloke running the Athenian army asked the priests what to do. 

(Imagine an Ancient Greek accent.)

“Surely this is an omen, right?”

The priests told them to wait for 27 days in the harbour. Unfortunately, this gave the enemy a 27 day window to attack. And they did. 

The Athenians were quickly defeated. 

#6 - The Fall Of Constantinople

Whilst this historic moment didn’t happen within the shift of a full moon, a lunar eclipse certainly helped move the whole shebang along.

With 7 days to go until the final moment from which the city fell to the Ottomans, a lunar eclipse fulfilled a prophecy confirming the city’s seizure.

Omen? Trivago.

#7 - A Trans-Antarctic Expedition Is Saved By The Full Moon

It’s 1916. 

We are in the Antarctic with the Ross Sea Party, and we are stranded.

There’s a blizzard blowing around us, and there’s thin ice below. Either we fall through the ice in a mad attempt to escape to Cape Evans, or we starve to death. Or we freeze. Can’t forget that one.

Our only hope is to wait for the full moon, when our sole source of light in the evenings can guide us to safety.

Luckily enough, on July 16th, a full moon strikes, bringing with it clear skies, calm weather, and thicker ice. Huzzah! 

Wait, is it just me or is it getting darker?

Yep, a partial lunar eclipse was forecasted for this expedition, but a slither of light was enough to see them through the safety.

#9 - British Surgeons Refuse To Operate 

The eternal link between blood and the lunar cycle flows into the medical field this time, but you can’t plug this one up with a tampon.

Medical myths claim that throughout history surgeons have been opposed to performing surgery on patients during full moons, citing issues with blood clotting and thus an increased risk of patients bleeding to death. 

Heck, this was brought up by a British politician in 2009!

He was, of course, mocked for his claims. 

#10 - Schizophrenic Patients Exhibited An Increase In Violent Behaviour

Many claims regarding the full moon clearly focus on, ahem, ‘lunacy’. Whilst the term is far from politically correct, links have been forged between mental disorders and the moon.

Understandably, mental health professionals refute these claims, but with studies pointing to an increase in violent activity by 1.8%, surely this is grounds for concern?

No, no it's not. 

Mathematically speaking, anything below 2% is unverifiable as a significant change worthy of study. 

#11 - A Police Emergency Occurs In Brighton

In 2007, Brighton’s police force released more officers over the summer months as a result of the increase in criminal and paranormal activity during full moons. 

The thing is, they aren’t the only boys in blue to make this decision. 

Sussex police force supported their actions, claiming that during the full moon criminals are more aggressive.

Even across the pond in Ohio and Kentucky similar actions have been taken to protect and serve during the lunar cycle. In another corner of the world - New Zealand - the justice minister supported such beliefs, confirming hocus-pocus isn’t just for the person sitting behind the keyboard and typing this.

#12 - A Supermoon Causes 2 Earthquakes And Tsunamis

Both Japan and countries around the Indian Ocean might be acquainted with the threat of earthquakes and tsunamis, but their mysterious occurrence of 2 surrounding a supermoon are enough to raise suspicion.

The Tohoku earthquake and tsunami of 2011 peaked at a magnitude or 9.1 on the Richter scale, confirming itself as the 3rd biggest earthquake ever recorded.

The earthquake in the Indian Ocean in 2004 - also known as the Boxing Day Tsunami - is one of the worst natural disasters in history, claiming 200,000 lives.

Both were framed by a 2 week period around the full moon, wreaking havoc - and raising eyebrows.

#13 - A 7.8 Magnitude Earthquake Occurs During A Supermoon

In November 2016, New Zealand was hit by a huge earthquake which occurred on the night of a supermoon.

And if that wasn’t enough, it struck just after midnight. 

To this day it is considered to be “one of the most complex earthquakes ever studied” as ruptures occurred on multiple faults.

Yeah, that shizz is spooky. 

Does The Moon Affect You?

Is this all just goblin n’ troll talk, or is it real?

And who else is loony for the moon?

If you loved this post, I’m sure you’ll fall head over heels for my other posts, too! And while you’re at it, be sure to follow me for a new real ghost story everyday.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Triple the Losers AU - Concept Notes

i wanted there to be 27 but if i added patties and audras that made 27 but then i’d have to add kay bc i love her which would make 28 so 21 it is

so the basic concept for this is “hey guys remember how i doubled the baudelaires and made the best au with movie! and netflix!bauds well we’re doing that with book, miniseries and film losers club” 

So, yeah, in this au, the book, miniseries and film Losers are all in the same universe, related, and ready to kill a clown. There is no Chapter Two because these kids bully that clown to death asap. 

A friend group of 21 is pretty wild but definitely makes for a pretty great army. 

Full list of Losers:

The Denbrough Boys

Isaac Denbrough - film!Bill

13

An adopted sibling, though he’s never known any family but the Denbroughs and is never considered anything other than the oldest Denbrough boy 

Artist who wants to illustrate for his brothers’ books bc he loves them

Gay but in denial. Giant crush on Daniel Hanlon. 

Anselm Denbrough - miniseries!Bill 

12 

Likes to write fantasy novels as an escape from reality 

Fights with Bill about whether fantasy or horror is better which is lowkey a metaphor for them arguing about how to deal with their trauma

William “Bill” Denbrough - book!Bill

11

Writes horror stories cause he loves psychological analyzation 

He prefers to face his fears rather than “escape” from them, causing tension between he and Anselm with how they deal with Georgie’s death

Georgie Denbrough - there is only one Georgie as he literally only exists for like one chapter

6 

Loves his brothers 

Dead as fuck, sorry 

Stuttering seems to be a family trait during childhood in the Denbrough family that Anselm and Bill are afflicted with, though Bill much more than his older bother. (Isaac also starts stuttering young, which is suspected to be more psychological.) This trait skipped a generation, and thus the Denbrough parents don’t really know enough about how to deal with their sons’ disability.

They’re a very creative family, usually in terms of creative writing, though they’re also pretty skilled in the art department. Sharon Denbrough is a skilled pianist and taught Isaac until recently. The family was never very close, and Bill always had a rocky relationship with his parents, but the family fell apart after the death of Georgie. Isaac and Bill found themselves practically ignored, while Anselm was pretty much yelled at for trying to fix everything. The brothers only managed to maintain their relationship by trying to avenge Georgie by killing this fucking clown.

The Hanscom Boys

Desmond “Des” Hanscom - film!Ben

13 

Would like to go into Investigative Journalism, though he’s also really into Local Histories

Tends to be afraid of the concept of death more than anything else 

Has a lot of social anxiety 

Auster Hanscom - miniseries!Ben

12

Super into all forms of writing but mostly poetry, which he loves and kinda obsesses over 

Was most affected by not having a father figure around, as Des and Ben didn’t seem to mind 

Assumed he was straight for a while but is probably demi 

Benjamin “Ben” Hanscom - book!Ben

11 

The Architect, and his love of blueprints and planning has made him the main strategist of the Losers Club 

He really doesn’t have many psychological demons so his worst fear is just the mummy he saw in a movie too late at night

Pure baby 

The Hanscoms’ father left the family when Arlene was still pregnant with Ben; while the boys never understood why, they sometimes speculate about secret missions, one or both of their parents cheating, government conspiracies, etc. Des and Ben never really minded, as Des was quite the introvert and Ben was close with their mom, but Auster really wished they could have a paternal figure, especially since the boys tend to be shunned for their genetic overweight appearance and he really wished for some kind of acceptance. 

The move to Derry was recent, as Arlene managed to find a higher-paying job that could help her support her boys. Ben managed to get himself in trouble with the Bowers Gang, meaning that his brothers, defensive of him, also became targets. But they manage to find friends in the Losers Club, and with the whole gang together, nobody’s going to be able to hurt them... right? 

The Marsh Girls

Karen “Karrie” Marsh - film!Bev

13 

Hates her name, thinks it sounds like a middle-aged mom. Goes by Karrie which she thinks sounds cooler (and serves as another Stephen King reference)

Wants to do movie stunts as an adult, is the most daring and bold of the Losers Club, and also probably the physically strongest 

Intensely protective of her sisters, especially due to their home situation 

Brooke Marsh - miniseries!Bev

12 

The sweetest little angel you will ever meet. Has never done anything wrong in her life 

Wants to be a painter and is very artistic. Karrie has shoplifted her paint supplies before 

The only one of her sisters to not smoke, as they refuse to let her near cigarettes 

Beverly “Bev” Marsh - book!Bev

11 

Technically the half-sister (stepsister?) of her older sisters, and can tell that her Mom doesn’t seem to care for her sisters much. She loves them, though, and won’t stand for people insulting them 

Quite the fashion designer, and even though the family is poor, she’s been making sure they don’t look like shit since she could choose her own clothes 

Probably the most manipulative of the Losers, though this has its advantages, such as when they need to get out of trouble. 

Giant Lesbian, definitely marries Kay McCall 

Karrie and Brooke have lived under the hate of their father for a while, due to the fact that he blames them for their mother’s death; Karrie brought home a virus from daycare that infected their mother, weakening her enough that labor with Brooke killed her. Karrie tends to get the most shit for this, mainly because Brooke gets along more with their stepmother, Elfrida. Elfrida married their father only a few months following their mother’s death, mainly due to the fact that Al got her pregnant. The family is quite poor, and the parents work quite a lot, meaning the sisters have gotten pretty good at fending for themselves. 

Recently, the girls have started to get more fears about their father than just physical abuse- he’s been acting weird around Karrie and Bev, and while Brooke seems to avoid his eye for the time being, she has been quite hurt by his violent outbursts. Karrie’s secretly been saving up to take her sisters away before he can do anything to them, though she’s not sure how to tell Brooke and Bev, as they don’t even understand what they’re supposed to be afraid of. But while they’re in Derry, they end up finding themselves among the Losers Club, on a mission to save the children of the town by killing a monster that lives in the sewers. That won’t be much of a problem; they have much worse monsters at home. 

The Kaspbrak Boys

Chase Kaspbrak - film!Eddie

13 

Somehow simultaneously the most paranoid and most reckless boy in the world 

He’s really into analysis and predicting events 

Can and Will fight you, but he will be bitching about it the entire time 

Otto Kaspbrak - miniserires!Eddie

11, Eddie’s older twin 

Incredibly stubborn and snarky, but also the most loyal Loser and the most sincere 

Has an interest in mechanics and repair, and when his mom’s not looking he’ll take things apart to find out how they work 

Edward “Eddie” Kaspbrak - book!Eddie

11, Otto’s younger twin

Very adaptable and adventurous, though he has a lot of anxiety at times 

Special Interest in cars, wants to be a driver as an adult

Able to find direction no matter where they are, and his gift of coordination has helped the Losers numerous times 

There will absolutely be a car chase scene where he has to drive 

Chase is the only Kaspbrak who really remembers their father, being seven when he died instead of his brothers’ five. He seems to recall them not being so sick back then, though his Mother claims otherwise, and their father being a good, playful man. But he’s not here now, and their mother, Sonia, is paranoid about everything. Her boys are very weak and sick and can’t do much, and she hates that they have such rough, rude friends that must be corrupting them somehow. 

The boys, however, are much more adventurous and capable than Sonia believes- especially Chase, who has actually won more than one fight, mostly on behalf of his brothers. As the eldest, Chase believes he has to protect Otto and Eddie, whether it be from a bunch of school bullies, a killer clown in the sewers, or their own mother. Also, Chase and Eddie are gay as hell and Otto is demi-gay as fuck. 

The Hanlon Boys

Daniel “Danny” Hanlon - film!Mike

14, the oldest of the Losers

He’s actually the cousin of Orel and Mike; he recently moved in with his aunt and uncle after the death of his parents in a house fire. He’s pretty traumatized from the incident 

Wants more than anything to travel and explore the world, meet new people and see everything there is to see, and being stuck in boring, bigoted Derry is pretty much hell for him 

He is very protective of his cousins and friends, though, and is the one who believes the most in their ability to triumph over Pennywise

Orel Hanlon - miniseries!Mike

12

Incredibly excitable and very optimistic, as well as incredibly bookish. As such, he tends to infodump whether people want to hear him or not 

Super into cartography, and collects old, antique maps as well as making his own pretty much wherever they go 

Really into gruesome horror stuff and doesn’t understand why it scares and/or grosses out other people. 

Michael “Mike” Hanlon - book!Mike

11 

Incredibly watchful and steadfast, and the Loser with perhaps the most emotional stability 

He’s a lil Historian whose greatest desire is to work for the library and get to read as many books as he wants 

Just. really fucking loves his dog 

Orel and Mike don’t go into town much, mainly staying on their farm with their loving parents and spending their time with the farm animals; Mike is closest to their watchdog, but Orel loves being among the sheep. In the last few months, their cousin Danny moved in with them, and their relationship is... a bit awkward. Orel is too blunt and Mike is too curious, and they don’t know how to carefully approach the subject of his parents burning to death in front of him without making him feel worse. 

It doesn’t help that Danny hates Derry; it’s bigoted, it’s tiny, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and people are dying left and right. However, once his cousins convince him to come hang out with their friends, he ends up bonding with the other Losers of the town, even though they’re all a bunch of weird white kids. And though the Hanlons don’t deal much with town business, they’re ready to join in the fight to stop Pennywise from killing anyone else. 

The Tozier Triplets

Reynard “Reynie” Tozier - film!Richie

12, the firstborn of the triplets 

Loudmouthed, rude, impulsive and very crass, mainly to hide his crippling self-doubt and fears of being ostracized  

Super good at video games and says he wants to be a professional gamer, though honestly he’s just really interested in stand-up comedy 

Gay as all fuck

Roderick “Rod” Tozier - minseries!Richie

12, the middle of the triplets

While he’s just as hyperactive as his triplets, he’s a bit more controlled and actually the least raunchy, meaning Reynie and Richie joke that he’s not using his name correctly 

Wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and is actually getting decent at impersonating the RoadRunner. 

Richard “Richie” Tozier - book!Richie

12, the youngest of the triplets 

Pretty wild and uncontrollable, energized as all hell, and makes off-color jokes to piss people off and get attention, though he does have a true heart for his friends 

Wants to have his own radio show in the future. Was the first to befriend the Marsh girls, because he and Bev would share cigarettes during recess 

Bi as all fuck 

The Tozier triplets are a trio of ADHD disasters and nobody in Derry can or will ever forget it. Reynie and Rod tend to “big brother” Richie, meaning they tend to end up slapping him upside the head for saying something insensitive, though sometimes Reynie says something a bit too impulsively as well. They used to do different voices to entertain each other, meaning it’s a bit of an interest for all of them. While Reynie tends to lean more towards comedy, though, Rod wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and Richie hopes to be some kind of radio personality. 

Their parents mean well but are often at work, and even at home they don’t quite understand their boys, so the triplets are pretty used to relying on each other. Reynie kinda has the least parental affection, as Rod and Richie tend to get into even more shit than he does, so he kinda falls to the wayside. His isolation tends to manifest in fears of abandonment and loneliness- and a public outing resulting in such, starting when he started to realize that he maybe didn’t like girls as much as he said he did. Rod and Richie, meanwhile, also have vague fears of outing, though Pennywise represents their bisexuality as werewolfism- always transforming in painful and terrifying ways. 

The Uris Boys

Mason Uris - film!Stan

13 

Very cautious, but definitely not the Mom friend; he will inform you how shitty your idea is, but will not stop you, and in fact will grab popcorn to watch 

Loves studying art history and different art forms, though he doesn’t want to create them himself, just catalogue them. He likes to entertain Isaac and Brooke by “critiquing” their “fabulous” artwork

The only one of his siblings who doesn’t get along with their parents 

Peter Uris - miniseries!Stan

12, almost 13 

Incredibly logical and has the most anxiety. Is the last one to believe in the clown just because it doesn’t fit into his worldview 

While all the boys love birdwatching, he’s the one who’d like to go into it as a profession; he loves ornithology and wants to study birds for the rest of his life 

Stanley “Stan” Uris - book!Stan

11 

Loves to have things in order, and doesn’t really know how to interact with people socially, because people don’t act in predictable ways. 

Super good at mathematics and hopes to be an engineer or accountant 

Has the weirdest sense of humor, which means he is the best

The Urises are one of the few Jewish families in town, and in a bigoted town like Derry, that means they were pretty much outcasted from the getgo. They are all relatively close with each other, in that they’ll argue nonstop but also would die for each other without question. Peter and Stan probably get along the best, as they’ll sit and talk about birds until they pass out, while Mason likes to sit in his room and read his books on famous artists. Mason also has a bit more of a strained relationship with his parents, while his brothers get along with them much better. 

The boys refused to believe in Pennywise for the longest time, as they’re all very logical and orderly and “magic alien clown eating kids by turning into their fears” doesn’t exactly fit into their normal worldview. But they’re going to stick by their friends and do their best to protect themselves and the town... and, well, if the way to kill the clown is by bullying him to death, they have a shitton of insults they’ve been saving for a special occasion. 

[mc-yuki-chan]

Yuki’s backstory!

They were an odd kid, truthfully. They liked to watch the flowers, look at the sky, look at how the bugs moved, and read. They never particularly cared for making friends with kids their age, it never seemed to pop up in their mind. Until they met Natsuo; a young boy who was charming and sweet and didn’t mind their quiet observations of the world. The two bonded quickly and almost immediately became inseparable. They grew up together; were in all the same clubs, shared most of their classes. They were like two peas in a pod, and Yuki never wanted to be anywhere else. Nastuo was charming, charismatic, funny, and outgoing; all the things Yuki was not. Natsuo made friends quickly, whereas Yuki was shy and withdrawn within themselves. Yuki really looked up to him. 

Yuki grew up in a once loving family! 

Their father was an only child, whereas their mother had a sister- one she never really talked about as Yuki was growing up. (They didn’t know they had an aunt until she reached out to them when they were in their final year of school) 

They grew up relatively lonely as an only child, only really feeling connected to their parents when they would make food together and purposefully making too much so they have to go and share it with the neighbors. Those are the really good memories that Yuki cherishes. 

Another large hurdle in Yuki’s life was their feelings for Natsuo. They had fallen deeply in love with their childhood friend, and couldn’t imagine their life apart. 

During this time they were dealing with three large issues; their parents growing disdain for each other, severe bullying, and their identity. While their parents were silently angry at each other all the time, and the tension in the home was so thick you could barely breathe. All throughout highschool, they were being intensely bullied, for reasons beyond their understanding. People would prank them, tease them, mock them, and even went as far as to try and push them out a window. Their uniforms got stolen, they got paint poured on them, and letters of grusome and horrible things always ended up in their locker. Hajoon Lee, Natsuo and Yuki's mutual friend, was the only one who stood up for them, defended them, and told people to leave them alone.

They also struggled with who they were. They didn’t feel as though male really fit them, nor did they feel that female really fit them. Neither of those identities really felt like.... them. It was like they were trying to force themselves into a neat little box that they couldn’t even see. It was weird, and felt wrong, and they couldn’t even begin to explain why. They struggled for years with trying to figure out exactly what they felt, and how they felt about it, and it took many deep dives into the gender and sexuality studies online for them to really come to the conclusion.They were nonbinary, feeling the most comfortable with They/Them pronouns, and enjoyed both masculine and feminine things but were neither of them at the same time. It was freeing, it was comforting. They felt seen. Their parents still argued in the background when they thought their child couldn’t hear. 

Then Natsuo developed a crush, and things seemed to change. Natsuo had less time for Yuki; they hung out less, Natsuo didn’t talk to them as much, and Natsuo didn’t explain why. They just... drifted apart. So, Yuki took it upon themselves to try and fix things- by being honest. They weren’t sure if this was going to fix the growing distance between them, but... 

Life always has it’s ups and downs. That’s how we know we’re alive. 

Yuki chose to confess in one of the most romantic ways they could think of; at the Wishing Star Festival. Natsuo and Yuki went every year together. Yuki had gotten a piece of paper and wrote their wish on it, and waited patiently for Natsuo to show up. He was two hours late. Yuki didn’t mind; he was probably busy at home! They knew that his mom sometimes liked to fuss. They walked around, and Natsuo didn’t grab a piece of paper to write his wish down. Yuki thought it was odd, but didn’t comment on it. No, they were too nervous to really make good small talk. It was clear something was on Yuki’s mind, but it seemed like Natsuo didn’t notice. Yuki didn’t notice that either. Yuki didn’t notice a lot of things that night. They found a secluded spot, Yuki tied their wish to the tree, and silently made their wish. Yuki paused a bit, and let the silence hang in the air, and swallowed down the butterflies in their throat. 

“I’ll tell you my wish, if you want. It’s really simple.” 

Natsuo laughed, it seemed a little awkward- like he had been zoning out and only just then realized he was out in public with someone. 

“Wouldn’t that defeat the whole purpose of making a wish?” 

“Hehe, yes, but I think I want to share it with you anyways.” 

Natsuo only huffed another laugh and shrugged. 

“Okay, what’s your wish?” 

Yuki smiled, and quietly confessed. “My wish was that we would be together forever, because I love you.” 

As you can probably assume, this did not end well.  

Natsuo quickly back peddled and quickly grew more and more uncomfortable- saying he wasn’t gay, he didn’t like Yuki that way, that it was weird for two men to like each other. This hurt Yuki, who then explained that they are nonbinary, and tried to explain what it meant and what that meant for them. Natsuo became angry, and started shouting- claiming Yuki was making all of this up so that they could get the girl he was crushing on. Yuki didn’t understand- they had met that girl once or twice, at max, why would they have feelings for her? Natsuo confessed he was late because he had been on a date with the girl, and she had been into him, but said that she didn’t like the way Yuki looked at him. And now he understood why, he had said, before ripping Yuki’s wish off the tree. Natsuo began screaming obscene and cruel things, things that deeply hurt Yuki to this day.

Yuki had gone home crying that night, and poured their heart out to their parents; the crush, their gender, the fight, everything. Their parents... took it better, but not well enough. They tried to console them by saying that it was a phase, and that once they found a nice girl and got married that they wouldn’t be “So obsessed with becoming a girl”. 

Yuki’s life shifted over night. 

Their parents began fighting more intensely, arguing about which one of them fucked up their kid more, who’s fault it was that they were like this, why they were so weird. 

At school, no one talked to them. People had been around them because they themself was always with Natsuo, but since the fight Natsuo hasn’t said a single word to them. The girl he had a crush on was now clearly dating him, if the shy looks and blushes were anything to go by. This shattered Yuki’s heart every time it happened. With the distance from their friends, the bullying continued to steadily get worse.

The only saving grace came in the form of their aunt, Ayane, who had moved to Korea to escape her homophobic family. She was a proud lesbian, and wasn’t afraid to be who she was- she was bold, and strong, and she had reached out to Yuki to try and rekindle a relationship between the two; she had always been incredibly hurt that she was never there to watch Yuki grow up. They began talking, and venting out all their feelings, and their aunt eagerly suggested they move in with her in Korea. They realized that this may be the best shot at life they could get. 

The final time that Yuki and Natsuo spoke was on graduation day, before they went home to pack their bags to move to Korea. It was awkward, and uncomfortable, but Natsuo said that he wishes them the best of luck in their life (still ignoring the use of their real pronouns) it was stiff, awkward, and he clearly looked like he didn't want to be there.  Yuki swallowed thickly and stiffly and formally thanked him, and didn’t begin to cry until they were already in their room.  

Maybe that’s why they downloaded a mysterious messaging app..? 

They moved to Korea a few years after their final year of school, and moved in with Ayane. It was really all good from there. 

There they met Oba-chan (Her name is Hinata, but she insisted that Yuki called her grandmother), and began working at her flower shop. Hinata quickly took them in, accepting them and their identity as if it wasn’t unusual or strange in the slightest; a sharp and drastic change to their previous life in Japan. It was so... good. They felt so safe here, it was great. They worked hard, learned quickly, and faster than anyone anticipated they rose to a high position in the shop- assisting Hinata with financial business and helping renovate the business into what it is today- the most popular stop for home grown flowers in Seoul. 

Eventually, Hinata grew too old to feel fit enough to run the store, so she left it to Yuki, who had shown incredible dedication and attention to detail, and they have been running it ever since. Shortly after getting ownership of the business, they were able to afford their own apartment and have been living on their own for a few months now. They regularly have family dinners at Hinata’s house with her friends and Ayane’s girlfriend and they cook massive meals that they can share with family and neighbors alike. 

With all these good things happening in their life, the sudden and intense loss of losing a pillar in the life was still incredibly jarring, and they still are incredibly lonely. They guarded their heart carefully after that heartbreak, they weren’t sure if they could handle that kind of rejection again- let alone any rejection while they were still so tender. It may have been almost 5 years, but it cut so deep that it still was healing.