#obviously not making decisions for at least six months about literally anything rn

[imagineagreatadventure]

Pretty much all of my friends think I should move next year when my lease ends 😩

[anghraine]

“the jedi and the sith lord” - chapter seventeen

Last chapter:

“I won’t help you fight the Rebellion!” said Lucy.

“I had no expectation that you would,” Vader replied. “But I have many enemies.”

Understanding—hopefully the right understanding—crept over her.

“Like Varti and Jerjerrod?”

This chapter:

“Your master does have a certain reputation,” Lepha began.

Gathon kicked him again. 

“I don’t have a master,” said Lucy, softening her voice by sheer force of will. “But Lord Vader would never harm you, I’m sure—not if you are truly loyal to the Empire.”

chapters: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven, chapter eight, chapter nine, chapter ten, chapter eleven, chapter twelve, chapter thirteen, chapter fourteen, chapter fifteen, chapter sixteen

-

Janos Varti seriously considered rejecting Darth Vader’s invitation to “consult” over recent matters in person. On the one hand, rejecting anything Lord Vader asked you to do was rarely a good idea. On the other, he liked his head right where it was, and though Vader would suffer the Emperor’s wrath at harm to him, he’d rather be alive than avenged. 

If this had anything to do with that business of Jerjerrod’s—damn that, anyway. Jerjerrod was a good man, a loyal man, but sometimes he got an idea in his head that was completely idiotic. Testing their ships against Darth Vader’s stronghold and throwing away their men in the process had to be one of them. But it wasn’t Varti’s fault.

On the other hand, this could come down to any number of things. It might be, however improbably, an opportunity for further advancement. And refusing would look indisputably suspicious and turn Vader’s loyalists against him. 

Fine. He’d never lacked for nerve, anyway. Varti made sure those around him knew that he was meeting with Vader, as well as the Emperor, just in case. Then he accepted the invitation and the escort to Vjun. 

He’d never actually seen the stronghold, so he looked around with some interest once they landed and he was handed a device that generated a small force field around him. Did they expect any danger from locals? But no, apparently it was simply a matter of air. Of course Vader would establish himself in a literally poisonous atmosphere.

Two jagged cliffs reared up on either side of what was, unmistakably, a fortress. It didn’t look like Imperial architecture at all. Or the Republic’s, for that matter. Probably some relic of that nonsense religion of his. 

Varti, followed by two of his most trusted officers, marched through the hangar bay after a group of Vader’s men, noting the greenish sky all but bristling with ships and the lines of soldiers outside the massive front gates. Jerjerrod really had been an idiot, throwing away even a small portion of their fleet on this place. Their entire fleet couldn’t take it.

He had a minor squabble at the gates with a commander who insisted that only Varti had been allowed entrance, not his men. Varti insisted, in turn, that he never went anywhere without them (not true). Finally, the commander walked some distance away and muttered into his comlink, then returned and begrudgingly allowed Gathon and Lepha to enter along with Varti. 

Frankly relieved, but suspecting he shouldn’t be, Varti strode through the gates and into a large entry of stone braced by Imperial metal. It made for a bizarre and not at all welcoming mixture. 

Droids were everywhere. Varti couldn’t identify them all—he hadn’t exactly made a practice of studying droid manufacture—but at least some were his size, and one by the door stood some seven feet tall, was at least a meter across, and had four blasters attached to its arms.

The officers who’d escorted him inside cleared their respective throats, and one said,

“LX-3? This is him.”

The enormous droid turned to examine Varti, its red eyes flashing. A rather nasty piece of work, if you asked him. 

“You are Admiral Janos Varti?” it demanded.

“I am,” said Varti, deciding against antagonizing Vader’s giant armed droid. 

“And these are?”

“Captain Gathon and Lieutenant Lepha,” he said. “They are my assistants.”

The droid scrutinized them.

“Very well. Lord Vader will see you. Follow me.”

Hoping he hadn’t made the stupidest decision of his life, Varti gestured for Gathon and Lepha to follow and stalked after the droid. LX-3, he guessed, though the names of droids didn’t usually concern him. 

They made their way through a labyrinthine set of stark walls, all of which looked more or less like the sort of foyer he’d passed through—rough stone mixed with smooth Imperial metals. Bright lights had been embedded into the walls, so at least the place wasn’t actively ominous. Rather surprising, considering its principal inhabitant.

On the way, he saw any number of droids moving about and no people. Okay, that was a little ominous. But he could easily believe that Vader, who was practically a droid himself, might prefer them. 

LX-3 led him into a good-sized room that looked considerably more Imperial than the halls, though the window that filled the room with sickly green light seemed an innovation. But it had various metal chairs scattered about, and about two thirds of the way in, an enormous black one turned away from the door. Vader’s, presumably, though Varti didn’t recall if he’d ever actually seen the man—cyborg—sit down. 

He hesitated. Was Vader in the chair? He couldn’t see anyone, but he had the distinct impression that someone was there. 

“They’re here,” the droid said abruptly, and ducked its head to march out, doors sliding closed behind it. Varti, seasoned admiral though he was, nearly jumped. 

“Lord Vader?” he said.

Slowly, the chair wheeled around, revealing—

A girl.

Varti stared at her, utterly baffled by this turn of events. She wasn’t a child but a young woman, at least. Very young and very small. Incongruously, she wore a cheerful yellow dress with flowers on it. Flowers. Varti’s confused gaze passed from the flowers to her bare shoulders to the dark blonde plait over her shoulder, tied with a pink ribbon. She had a book open in her lap—the old kind, made of leather and paper, though he couldn’t make out any words on the pages, just bizarre designs and what looked like a map of a human body. He glanced back at her shoulders and then made it to her face.

The girl was considering him with large blue eyes. 

“Ah … miss,” said Varti at last, “we’re here to see Darth Vader. Did the droid lead us to the correct location?”

Whatever else he might have suspected Vader of keeping here, a blonde was not one of them.

“Yes,” she said, her voice rather lower than he expected. Then she tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes. In a slightly lilting voice, she said something like, “Valee!”

She must have a comlink on her somewhere, though he could hardly imagine where. 

She said something again, so garbled that he couldn’t understand anything beyond his own name and the droid’s. Was she all right in the head? Maybe this was some sort of test.

Then she opened her eyes and said,

“I’m Lucy. Lucy Alsara.” She glanced from Varti to Gathon and Lepha, and gestured at some of the chairs. “Please sit down. Lord Vader will be here in a moment.”

Cautiously, Varti led the way over to the largest of the available chairs and sat down. 

“Would you like … ah, tea?” she asked. “Or something?”

She didn’t look especially intelligent, but something about her pleasant face made Varti uneasy. If he was going to be here for several days, however, he’d have to eat eventually. It might as well be now.

“If it isn’t too much trouble,” he said.

“And what about your friends?”

Friends? Varti looked over at Gathon and Lepha, who were sitting stick-straight, very obviously uncomfortable. 

“They would also like tea,” he said firmly.

“How nice,” said Alsara.

She closed her book with a decided thwap, hopped off her chair (a considerable hop, for her), and strode over to the door. That surprised him a little—not her destination, but the stride. It didn’t at all suit her dainty appearance. 

When the doors opened, she said,

“Ellex, could you have someone ask RN-7 for three cups of tea? I’m sure he’ll be happy to do it.”

As if droids were happy to do anything. What a strange girl. 

If this particular droid responded, he didn’t hear it, but he did hear a few metallic clanks before the doors closed again and Alsara returned to her chair. With every appearance of grace, she managed to launch herself back into it. 

“So, what brings you here?” she asked.

“I’m afraid that is a matter between us and Lord Vader. Military business, you understand.”

“Oh, that’s right,” said Alsara. “You’re an admiral, aren’t you?”

“I am,” he replied. 

She stared at him, to the point that he started to wonder if he had something on his face. 

“That must be very nice,” she said at last. 

“It has its upsides,” said Varti. “And downsides, of course.”

Like his presence here.

“However, Miss Alsara,” he said, “I’m not familiar with your position. Do you serve Lord Vader?”

Belatedly, he thought that he might not want to know.

Alsara frowned, the simple question apparently taking a moment to percolate through her brain. His uneasiness dwindled a bit.

“After a manner of speaking,” she said. “I do various things.”

Varti allowed himself a faint smile. “Like sending for tea?”

“Well, that was my first time at that,” she told him brightly. “We don’t really get guests.” 

He imagined not.

“Well, not often,” she went on. “I hear.” 

“You hear?” he repeated.

“I’ve only been here for a few months,” said Alsara. “I think it’s been a few months? It’s hard to know. Oh. I forgot to ask if you take it black? I always do.”

Varti’s sister used to joke that he liked tea in his sugar. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said politely.

As if summoned by the thought, the doors slid open and a tall, slim droid entered, balancing on its hand a tray with an actual teapot, cups, and thankfully, what looked like pots of cream and sugar. 

Alsara clapped her hands. “It’s all right! Arren remembered.”

“Arren remembers everything, miss,” said the droid, passing out cups and pouring out the tea. “Cream or sugar, gentlemen?”

“Both,” Varti ordered. “For all of us.”

For no reason, Lepha gave a noticeable exhalation. 

Once the droid had finished and turned about, Alsara called out, “Thank you!”

“You are welcome. There was no difficulty in this task,” the droid said flatly, and continued on its way. 

Varti waited for Gathon and Lepha to take several sips of their tea. Neither dropped dead or started convulsing, so he took the risk and began drinking his own.

“I hope it’s good,” said Alsara.

“Delicious,” he replied. 

Unexpectedly, it was true. He’d never imagined Vader as a patron of culinary artists. Could he even eat? Varti hadn’t really thought about it before. It was easy to believe that Vader subsisted on oil and malice. 

“Well,” she said, “if you don’t mind, I have a … task to do, so I’ll leave you now. Lord Vader should be with you very soon.”

“I look forward to seeing him,” lied Varti.

Alsara just gave a friendly sort of nod and headed out with the same decided steps as before. In another moment, she vanished through the door.

-

It had been, Lucy thought, a day.

There was the Jedi library, full of more information than she could absorb in a lifetime. There was her agreement to continue her Jedi training, under Vader—her father, but also Vader. Then he’d gotten summoned away and left her to her own devices in the library, which felt both wonderful and very daunting. She’d finally pulled out an old book at random, vaguely hoping the Force would guide her choice, but struggled to understand its series of diagrams. 

And then Ellex had gotten summoned in turn and actually left Lucy alone, for the first time in forever. Lucy had thought about it, and reluctantly decided that her father probably wouldn’t want her to wander around unsupervised. She didn’t want to start off her apprenticeship on the wrong foot, so she headed off to Vader’s receiving chamber, assuming he’d find her there at some point. She’d scarcely arrived and taken up her book again, though, when she heard his voice in her head telling her that Varti’s ship had arrived, and if she encountered him, she should do her best to make him comfortable.

Lucy didn’t exactly specialize in making people feel comfortable. But she could understand why Vader would want the man off his guard, even if she was hardly the person to manage it. She’d played her part as well as she could—which was maybe not very well—

He seems confused, she thought.

Sure enough, Anakin’s voice—lighter and clearer than in life—sounded in her mind.

About what?

Me, I think, thought Lucy. He asked some questions, but I was pretty vague. Then I asked him if he wanted tea.

Tea?

He actually drank it, she told him, still rather surprised by that. He was cautious, but he’s not really afraid, I don’t think. And he wasn’t impatient.

He knows better than to be, replied Vader, but he seemed startled, too. Very well. Stay on your guard, Lucy.

I will, she promised, and his presence in her mind receded into the distance, where he must actually be. 

She was still getting used to that. 

Lucy stayed uncertainly in place outside the door, conscious that if Varti or his flunkies tried to leave, they’d find her there rather than accomplishing whatever her task was supposed to be. But still less did she want Ellex or Vader to find her gone; her adventure on the cliff was now several weeks ago, but it had to make any disappearance suspect. And that would interfere with whatever Vader’s plans were for managing Varti, so—

Nevertheless, her father seemed surprised all over again when he showed up in person. 

“Lucy,” he said, “what are you doing?”

“Waiting,” said Lucy.

“For what?”

“Ellex,” she replied. 

The mask looked down at her. Then understanding seemed to touch him.

“Ellex is busy with other duties at the moment,” he said. “You may go.”

“Where?” said Lucy.

“Wherever you wish,” he said. “As long as you remain inside the castle.”

“Right. Well, I wasn’t planning on dying any time soon,” she replied, and glanced at the door behind her. “Good luck.”

“Thank you,” said Anakin dryly. 

After a moment’s consideration, she decided to go back to the archives, and cocked her head to the side as she walked. Then she smiled—sure enough, he’d waited until she turned the corner and disappeared from his enemies’ sight before opening the doors. 

It came as a small relief, but an important one, that he thought of such things. Not everyone did, and Lucy, for all that everyone seemed to consider her a wild-eyed idealist, knew that she’d always had a streak of pragmatism in her. Apparently he had a bit of one, too.

Good, she thought, and continued on her way.

-

The next few days, for Lucy, were decidedly strange. She had full run of the castle, as far as she could tell, even as her father spent hours cooped up with Admiral Varti. While it made a certain sense that Lucy wouldn’t be invited to eavesdrop on Imperial business, and that Vader wouldn’t tell her all about it, it left her floating around to act as she saw fit.

Now and then, though, Varti’s two men were also sent off to cool their feet in the halls. Vader didn’t have to tell her to keep an eye on them; even when she didn’t physically join them, she imagined a mental circle around them and followed them in the Force. They were definitely snooping around, she decided, and after a moment’s uncertainty, told Ellex.

Predictably, she said, “Did you expect they would do anything else?”

“I expected they’d stick to their posts,” said Lucy. “Imperials usually follow orders, don’t they?”

“Undoubtedly they are,” said Ellex.

Oh. Right. Well, she had orders, too: to be observant. Her father had probably just been thinking about the formal occasions when Lucy had some cause for joining them—most often, the petrifyingly dull dinners. And there were plenty of droids around, keeping their sensors peeled (okay, not peeled) as they completed their primary functions, largely ignored by the other Imperials. The droids probably notice more than she would.

Still, she couldn’t just wander off and do nothing. Instead, she walked straight up to them, her friendliest smile on her face.

“Hello!”

The two men, busy scrutinizing a stretch of wall (that, as far as Lucy could sense, consisted entirely of stone), jumped. 

“Oh,” said Captain Gathon, “Miss … Miss El …?”

“Alsara,” supplied Lucy. “I hope nothing’s wrong? Lord Vader does want your stay here to be as pleasant as possible.”

“Ah,” said Lieutenant Lepha. “Yes, our treatment has been very civil. It’s quite a relief.”

Gathon kicked him as Lucy widened her eyes.

“A relief? I hope you wouldn’t think that the droids or I would do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Oh, have we?”

“Not at all,” Lepha said quickly.

“Good,” said Lucy, smiling again. “You needn’t be concerned about them—the droids, I mean. Lord Vader keeps them in the best condition and routinely checks their codes for problems.”

She assumed he did, anyway.

“We weren’t,” said Gathon.

“They’re quite safe,” she went on, as if he hadn’t spoken. “Well, except LX-3. She’s the giant battle droid at the front gate. The one with the blasters. Did you notice her?”

“Uh,” Lepha said. “Yes.”

“It’s difficult not to,” added Gathon, seeming to give up on investigation under Lucy’s cheerful attention. “I trust her restraining bolt is firmly in place?”

None of the droids here had restraining bolts.

“Oh, I don’t know about things like that,” Lucy said. “I just thought that you should know to be careful around her. She takes offense at nearly everything and, well, she does have those blasters. Not that she should have them, if you ask me.”

She sent a silent apology to Ellex.

“We’ll, ah, keep our distance,” said Gathon. 

“I don’t mean to interfere,” she said hurriedly, “it’s just that I would feel dreadful if anything happened to you.”

“Thank you,” Lepha said.

Gathon gave him a withering look.

“Don’t worry. We’re not your responsibility, Miss Elsarah.”

“I feel responsible for the welfare of everyone in the castle,” she replied, “and guests most of all! Especially since you seemed to have expected—that is, if you were relieved—unless you meant …” Her brow furrowed.

“Are you a sort of housekeeper?” asked Gathon. 

“I’m Lord Vader’s assistant,” she said. “It’s not a formal title—but that’s what I do. Just like you do for Admiral Varti, I imagine.” Then she widened her eyes again. “Oh! Did you mean that you expected something worse from Lord Vader?”

“He didn’t mean anything,” Gathon told her. 

“Your master does have a certain reputation,” Lepha began.

Gathon kicked him again. 

“I don’t have a master,” said Lucy, softening her voice by sheer force of will. “But Lord Vader would never harm you, I’m sure—not if you are truly loyal to the Empire.” She paused. “You’re guests, after all! But we must not speak of such things. We should … oh, I know. Shall I show you around the castle?”

Gathon and Lepha looked at each other, then at her. Lepha opened his mouth.

“We must stay at our posts, unfortunately,” said Gathon.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were posted at … this bit of wall,” she said. “Well, I’m sorry for distracting you, then. I’ll make sure Lord Vader knows, so he doesn’t suspect anything untoward.”

“That’s not necessary—”

“Goodbye!” she said.

Lucy turned on her heel, her skirts making a satisfying swirl around her ankles, and did her best to look as if she were wandering aimlessly off. Once she knew she was well out of sight, she stopped and exhaled. She liked things to be straightforward, and so few things seemed to be. A lightsaber, now, was straightforward. Already, she missed practicing with Anakin’s, and with Anakin himself. But it would be too suspicious right now. 

At least, Lucy told herself, it’d be over soon.

[floating-through-cosmos]

Y’all, I was just being self-centered for a while and reading all my old posts and it dawned on me that I haven’t updated about my life hardly at all since I stopped working at Dairy Queen. I have a funny feeling that no one actually gives a shit but just to pump my ego I’m going to pretend that I have followers who legit read my crap and are interested so here is the official last six months update and it’s probably going to be really long.

So I stopped working at DQ and had that job as a cashier at Superwalmart starting in April and the job was cool at first (as most jobs are). I went from fast food where everyone is just angry all the time to people actually greeting me when they’d come to my line. Also in fast food, you do not leave work until you are permitted to do so whereas at Wally World, once my shift is over I walk my happy ass to the breakroom and clock the fuck out whenever I want (this proved to fuck me over in the end, more the come on that though) and that was very cool I thought. Then as it always goes, the job got shittier. The managers are real fucking up your ass when it’s slow and there’s literally NOTHING to do apart from zoning (straightening up the candy/magazine displays by your register) or cleaning your register but then when you actually need for something they disappear. You have to wait for permission to use the bathroom which is crap because there was another girl I worked with who had bladder problems due to a freaking miscarriage and she HAD to use the bathroom frequently but she would get in trouble for it. And my final point involving managers is about ordering money because shocker sometimes you run out of singles or quarters or whatever and you have  to type in the code and order more but they take their sweet damn time getting it to. It was really bad one night when I had an 11 shift and there were only like 4 registers total open but I was LITERALLY rejecting people paying in cash because I only had 20s and 100s and nickels in my drawer and the fucking managers WOULD NOT listen to my calls for help. 

I graduated from highschool (yay) and went on a bomb ass senior trip (a cruise to Belize and Roatan Island and one other place that I legit cannot remember rn) with three of my best friends and one of their families.

The day I got home from the trip I told my dad that the following day I’d be moving out. And here comes the next long ass part. So if anyone remembers my dairy queen tales posts, they’ll remember the oh so important cute guy from work. well guess what, we didn’t end up becoming a thing, disappointing, I know. But interestingly enough, I did end up with another ex DQ person. While working together, we always flirted and shit to the point where other coworkers (MORE THAN ONE) straight up asked me if we were a thing. His Name is Allan and he is...wait for it...33 years old. I was actually 17 when we first started working together so nothing happened AT ALL until I became legal and even after that, hardly anything happened until neither of us worked there anymore. We became official about a week before I graduated and we are still an item. So he is the mystery man that I moved in with. He actually has a daughter also and she is 14. It sounds super weird but we all coexisted perfectly fine. my parents were obviously not cool with this guy but I’m not going to get far into that shit. All I’m going to say is that for the first month of living with him, my father and I didn’t talk and at least for that time I think it was better that way. 

We were part of a pretty scary accident on June 9th (I believe that was the date) Me, Allan and his daughter were out walking our two dogs (a 2 year old white pitbull and a 5 year old rat/jack terrier) and a 17 year old girl going around 40 the opposite direction drifted too far towards the grass line and clipped my right arm with her passenger side mirror and with the very same mirror clipped Allan’s daughter in the forehead and threw her back in a ditch. She also hit the pitbull. His daughter’s injuries were actually really bad and she had to be brought by helicopter to a hospital in Galveston, fractured skull, broken arm, broken nose orbital fracture in her eye and jaw broken on either side (and a lot of bumps and bruises and scrapes from when she fell of course). She spent a few days in the hospital and then when she came home she stayed with her grandma for a bit because I wasn’t comfortable taking care of her (she REALLY needed care still when she got back) and it was too much for me. Apparently the hospital didn’t take great care of her hygiene-wise because she ended up having to buzz her hair completely because it was SO dirty and there were still leaves in it from the accident like two weeks later when they buzzed her. of course with a buzzed head she didn’t look good, but now that it’s grown out a bunch, she actually really likes having short hair (The first like three times I met her, she always said how much she liked my pixie cut) so we think she’s going to keep it short for a while. She’s doing fine now, started her second semester of freshman year last week but she’ll have a scar that takes up about half her forehead forever probably, she’s not self-conscious about it (at least so she says) which I am really happy for. The dog that got hit ended up needing to be put down, he had a lot of internal stuff and it just isn’t practical to spend as much money as it would've taken on a dog when your daughter is also in the hospital so Allan made the tough decision and put the puppy down. But when we put him down, we got a new replacement puppy from the same doggie parents (more to come). And finally my injuries were not bad. At all lol. I sprained my wrist when I fell and got bone bruises (one step below anything qualified as a break) where the mirror connected with me. And I’ll have a tiny scar probably forever and idk if it’s actually discolored or if it’s just the angle I see it from but it looks like there’s still discoloration from the bruise but like I said idk. So I am now able to add “hit by a car” to my resume. 

I got fired from Walmart in (i think) September because at the time, I had just gotten a new script for birth control and the pills were making my stomach upset so I racked up points on my record from leaving early too many times. so that ended that.

Not much happened up until like 2 weeks ago when I moved to New York state to live  with my aunt and go to college which starts in a few days and I am excited about.I am taking a math class, a biology class, a class about preventing war and stuff like that and I had an English class but it got cancelled so I signed up for women's studies instead and I think it’ll be good. No job yet, I want to get into the swing of school first  to see how much work I’ll be able to balance with it. MA and Allan are currently texting and I am listening to my old music on my ipod touch that I found a charger for yesterday. 

You are now caught up.