#oc tag: eris

[eris-sol]

this was drawn way back in august, but i'm posting it now because i finally got to chip and beat him!! :D

[starberrystudios]

I found this vn and I couldn't help make a fanart<3

She is Cassandra, my Eris sona. I hope you like her 🥹

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones XXV

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Author's Note: anddd we're finally starting with the new chapters! I hope you all enjoy :)

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for being part of this journey with me!!

tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @readthelastpaage / @teddyhoneybear / @positivewitch / @krem-does-stuff / @clockwork-ashes / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @eachies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee / @stormycleric / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @illyrianvalkyrie / @that-golden-lyre / @ladystarrynight / @rityrooroo / @thewilderheart

Find it all here.

Eris lost track of how long he’d been staring at his wife. He woke up on his stomach to find her nuzzled into the arm he had wrapped around her waist, curled into his side. He hadn’t dared move and like any respectable husband, Eris watched his wife sleep soundly. 

He could tell by the lighting of their bedroom, that it was well into the morning. Normally, Eris never slept in. Normally, he would’ve been long gone in his meetings with Iris in her lessons or joining him. But this morning would be different. Every morning could be different now. 

For once, his head was quiet. For once, Eris had woken at peace. Despite what had happened yesterday with his father, with Iris’s father, nothing could shake this…ease he was feeling. 

His arm was slightly numb at this point but the corner of his mouth lifted as he continued to watch her. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb her. It made him ache in a way he never had before and Eris shifted to brush his lips to the top of her head. 

She was his. Just his. 

The exhaustion of the day had caught up last night and Eris didn’t remember the last time he had sunk into such a deep, blissful sleep. And it was thanks to her.

Carefully, he detached himself from her grip, quickly replacing his arm with a pillow but Iris had barely moved, only snuggling deeper into the sheets. He spared her another glance and felt that urge, that need of the mating bond pulsing beneath his skin, tempting him to go right back under the sheets and touch her.

Displaying any kind of emotion, or desires — he had trained himself against all of it. Not only had he shown it all yesterday, but he also wasn’t sure how to bottle it all back up now that Iris had seen it. 

After so long of pushing it down and containing it, his emotions had overflown, and short of slitting his own throat, it wasn’t going to get bottled again. He had been hanging by a thread for years. It served him well that his wife of all people would push him over the edge. 

He was going to throw up. 

Rubbing his hand down his face, Eris forced himself to walk to their washroom, and away from her. Even if walking away felt like trudging through mud. He needed to keep his head. He needed to keep it together.

And the sight of himself in the mirror immediately sobered him, making Eris’s jaw clench. While his father’s gifts had healed better than how they usually did thanks to Iris’s work, the sting when he moved was still present. It didn’t even compare to the agony of trying to clean the wounds before they healed in the shower last night. Eris had done a great job of ignoring them but knew he would have to be more careful and allow it to heal properly the next few days. 

He would have to do something about his hair as well. It made Eris scowl as he ran a hand through the roughly chopped strands and he turned away from the mirror in distaste. He had told Iris everything and the feeling of how raw and exposed he felt was starting to catch up. He had never been that vulnerable with anyone and Iris seemed to have known that he…he needed a little more last night. And she had not hesitated to give that to him. 

It made Eris want to hurl again so he shifted his focus on all the oils and bubbles stocked on their bathroom shelves and decided he would let her indulge in relaxation this morning. He didn’t want to leave their room until he absolutely had to. His gaze flickered across his wife’s collection of options, and selected the ones that he knew smelled like her: vanilla with a hint of raspberry and his favorite, a scent he had specifically requested for her, iris petals. 

He knew Iris liked to indulge in baths and his eyes shifted around the shelves until he found a bottle of a lavender scent he knew she liked. This would be a nice gesture for her, wouldn’t it? 

Eris froze just as the thought went through his mind. He had not just gone there.

He stared down at the bottles in his hands and a deep sense of embarrassment crashed over him. He was far too fucken old for this shit and his scowl deepened as he suddenly pictured how hard his mother would laugh at him for this. 

And that thought made the pit of his stomach sink in and his grip tightened on the bottles. 

His mother. 

He wasn’t sure what state she would be in and he didn’t — couldn’t see her just yet. He didn’t want to think about what had happened between his parents while he was with his wife. He didn’t want to think about what his father had been up to after he had finished with his son. 

Eris felt his insides shrivel. He was a piece of shit, sitting here thinking about indulging in relaxation when he should see what happened in his absence. It had been hours. What could his father have gotten up to during this time? 

And again, he thought back to how he had told Iris everything — everything about his parents and why his family was the way they were.

The familiar sense of self-loathing began to spread and he felt rooted to his spot, pathetic and wretched, and as disgusted with himself as everyone outside of their court always seemed to be with him. This was why he had hesitated to share things. Because it felt wrong to expose their issues. Wrong to share this burden with anyone else. 

Shame and regret began to swirl in the pit of his stomach and Eris had to swallow hard to truly not vomit. Maybe if he just — 

A touch on his arm startled him out of his thoughts and Eris whirled with a snarl then choked, freezing in place as he found Iris blinking at him rapidly, her hand inches away from his arm.

The two watched each other for a moment, that animalistic urge of the mating bond thumping through his body again and his nostrils flared as her scent hit him. He had to use all his willpower not to launch himself at her. 

“Are you alright?” she asked and Eris’s eyes swept down to catalog her body, covered in that same robe from last night then back up to her face. Her hair fell in messy, loose curls and it made him want to run his hands through it. Then grab a fistful of it. Gently. She could like that.

But it was the look of concern on her face that had his heart stuttering in his chest. 

Gods, she cared about him. It hadn’t been a figment of his imagination from last night. 

A beat of silence passed then Eris blurted out the only thing he could think of, “What are you doing?” 

Iris blinked then lifted a brow. “What are you doing?” she asked. “You look like you’re truly two seconds away from launching yourself out the window.”

Eris’s expression flattened and it made his wife’s lips twitch. 

“Well. Good morning to you.” he said curtly.

“Good morning.” Iris replied with a small amused smile. “Is everything alright? You seem unsettled.”

Eris watched her for a moment then looked down at the bottles in his hands again. He was unsettled. By his own thoughts and where they’d taken him. By how much he was feeling. By the way his mate stood before him and looked at him with eyes that saw through him too clearly. 

“Do you…want to talk about it?” she asked carefully but Eris shook his head. 

His wife didn’t say anything else, waiting for him to speak but he felt her gaze on him.

“I’m thinking.” he finally said quietly, his hands gripping the bottles tightly. 

“You tend to do that too much.” Iris replied, her eyes flickering to his hands and then back to his face. 

“Someone has to.” he mumbled and she bit back another amused smile at the frown on his face. 

“And what are you thinking about this morning?” she asked.

Another beat of silence passed and Eris made himself swallow. A muscle feathered in his jaw but he forced his mouth to open and say, “That I shared too much last night. And it makes me feel nauseous.” He glanced up at her. “I want to stab myself just for saying that. I don’t like feeling this way. I don’t like feeling.”

Iris watched him carefully for a moment. She had woken up to the sound of his movements but it had been a surge of negative emotions that had tugged her up from her bed and compelled her to go to him. 

As she stood before him and heard the frantic beating of his heart, she knew a part of him was ready to bolt, like a deer caught in the wild. And Iris wondered for a brief moment if she should find it strange that she was still the level-headed one between them. 

“The after-effects of oversharing have kicked in, I see,” Iris said gently and gave him a small smile when he looked up at her. “I know it’s not easy for you.” 

Her husband only swallowed hard and watched her silently then glanced back down at his hands. It made her ache that he felt so much and had never felt safe sharing it. 

She moved closer to him and ran a hand up his arm, enjoying the feeling of his skin beneath her fingers; a few months ago she hadn’t even thought she’d be breathing the same air as the Prince of Autumn. Yet here she was, her heart skipping a beat as he shuddered at her touch. “You do know that it’s alright to allow yourself a break every now and then. You’ll worry yourself to death otherwise.”

“I’ve survived this long somehow by smothering it all down,” he replied. “Breaks usually don’t work out well for me. Bad things tend to happen when I take a break.” 

Her lips went into a thin line at his words. The ache in her chest intensified and she took in his expression and the tenseness in his shoulders but Iris knew not to push. Yesterday had been a lot for them both but for him especially. The sight of him walking into their room last night was still seared in her brain and she wanted him to feel relaxed before he could speak his mind. 

She let him sit in his reserved silence for a moment, let him be lost in the thoughts that always seemed to unsettle him until Iris couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Typical of you to think the world revolves around you and your enormous head,” she said then gently nudged gently with her elbow; it was the only part of him that reacted, forced to move with her touch. Iris frowned then laid a firm but still gentle touch to his arm. “Eris.” The sound of his name made him shift slightly. “Stop thinking for a moment and look at me, please.”

Eris quirked a brow but did as he was told, turning to fully face his lovely wife as she gazed up at him. “Happy?”

“Yes.” she said, the corner of her mouth curling up. “Hello, husband.”

His wretched heart jolted in joy at her words. Hearing her greet him this way after last night gave the word more meaning – more depth. 

As his eyes took in her beautiful face, Eris suddenly didn’t mind taking a break. A small reprieve was needed. It would be good for him. Nice, even. 

“Hello, wife.” he replied with a snort as Iris jerked her chin to the bottles in his hand.

“Were you preparing a bath for me?”

“No.” he replied immediately.

She rolled her eyes and gently took the bottles from his hands then walked past him to their enormous bathtub. She hadn’t forgotten about the few days she slept in it after their first big fight. “We just woke up, don’t start with your lies.”

Eris watched her lean over the tub and open each bottle to pour the different liquids over the running water. He felt his hands start to tingle at his sides as he watched her calmly testing the waters with her hand, itching to touch her. 

Again, that urge hit him like a sack of bricks. He immediately scowled at the ridiculousness of it all. 

As if sensing his thoughts, Iris looked over her shoulder with a shy, yet knowing smile before straightening. He continued to watch her as she returned the bottles to their places and licked his lips, watching as the steam seemed to stick the satin robe to her skin.

Her gaze dropped down to her robe, where his eyes had strayed. She couldn’t help rolling her eyes even as color bloomed on her face. “I see I’ve found the perfect way to get you to stop overthinking,” she said lightly, walking the few steps back to him and his eyes narrowed. 

“Why are you so calm about this? I just told you I regret telling you things and you’re…not offended.” he said with a wave of his hand, his tone disgruntled and she couldn’t help the twitch of her lips at his scowl. 

“Maybe it’s because I know who I’m dealing with.” she started and her tone was soft as she continued. “Because I know this is new for you…And now that I've seen you — the real you, Eris. I understand.”

Eris scoffed but the coloring in his face gave away his true thoughts and she couldn’t help the small smile as she continued, "Do you think I haven’t noticed how you are by now? You talk to no one, your trust is extremely limited, and even those that you do trust,  you cannot speak of certain things to. You've locked it all away.” Iris said quietly, her fingers gently resting on his forearm again, her touch tender. “And now I'm here, very much a part of your life in ways that neither of us expected. I'm not one of your men whose loyalty you earned. I’m not one of your hounds who can’t spill your secrets. I’m not one of your brothers who you hold at arm’s length or your mother who you barely share anything with because of your father. I’m your wife and that title carries a weight to it.”

She watched the color darken on his face the further she spoke, felt the mixed emotions come off him in waves as she squeezed his arm gently. "Not only am I your wife, I’m your mate. Someone you are not only meant to trust but are meant to confide in. And this…is a lot. For anyone. But especially for someone as secretive as you are.” 

“This is all very disturbing.” he muttered, his scowl deepening and Iris gave him a pointed look.

"I know but…it’s like a puzzle piece falling into place and I understand. I really do.” she said softly, her tone firm. “I’m not surprised at all that you're second-guessing yourself."

“You should be. I am always in control of my emotions.” he said with a sniff and Iris rolled her eyes again, shoving his arm gently. 

“Of course you are.” she said with a snort. “You also can’t murder me after sharing because it wouldn’t really go well for you as my mate.” A coy smile bloomed on her face. “And of course, you’d never let yourself die in such a cliche way. Over a female and not in a glorious battle where they would write ballads in your name.”

Eris couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “You think you’re so funny, don’t you.” 

“I’m very funny,” she confirmed and Eris watched her movements as she tied her hair into a high bun. “You just don’t like it when someone puts you in your place.”

He shook his head, his lips forming into a small, reluctant smile at her tactics. He knew what she was doing and he was…grateful. Iris always seemed to know exactly what to say to bring him a sense of peace. Maybe it would be okay for him to be…at ease with his feelings around his wife. She understood him. She saw him. They were meant for one another…he was allowed to focus on just them, wasn’t he?

He was allowed to indulge in her, wasn’t he?

“And here I was, ready to provide us with a relaxing morning and you’re being mean to me.” he muttered after a moment. “Per usual.”

“I thought you said this bath wasn’t for me?” she asked with a raised brow and he narrowed his eyes.

“It’s not. It’s for me. But I will allow you to join.” 

“Will you now?”

A pleasant tenseness bloomed between them in the room at the teasing and Eris licked his lips, taking a step towards her.

“Of course. How could I deny my wife?” he asked as Iris took a step closer. “Especially when you’ll slip out of that robe and I get to see you in all your naked glory.”

“Scoundrel.” she barely managed and turned her face towards the filled tub, her heart thumping in delight as she cleared her throat. “Bold of you to assume you get to see anything.”

“Would you be so cruel to deny me the sight of you, mate?” he teased and Iris felt herself flush deeply, that invisible string between them tugging gently on her ribcage. 

She watched the water, the aroma of the chosen oils wafting through the room as it filled with steam, and Iris gently rubbed at her neck. Eris was right of course. She did want to slip it off – if only to feel as beautiful as his eyes always seemed to make her feel. After last night, she did want to be closer to him. She wanted him near. And last night, she had been ready for him to see her.

She turned and without looking at him, Iris began, “If I did let you see…” She bit her lip, her fingers on the silk holding her robe together. “If I wanted to take a bath and wanted you to stay, would you behave?”

Eris watched her lovely face and the way she fought against her shyness. It delighted him to see this side of her, even more so than the question itself. To know that the angry wife, the one who had been afraid of him, had morphed into one that was comfortable to let herself be vulnerable with him.

He liked it so much.

“I can behave.” he answered almost too quickly and Iris glanced at him, her lips twitching. 

“Those hungry eyes of yours say otherwise.” she muttered and the corner of his mouth lifted.

“I think you like my hungry eyes.” Eris said. “Goodness knows they like you.”

Iris huffed out a laugh and shook her head but Eris kept his eyes on her as she processed how she felt. This shyness was sweet and slightly unexpected. 

“A question for a question.” he said suddenly and Iris tilted her head curiously. 

“Yes?”

“What are you thinking about right now that’s making you hesitate with me?”

Iris looked away from him. She obviously liked it when he looked at her. Iris could feel the heat coursing through her body at the thought and hated this newfound shyness. She hated it. It made her feel juvenile, like having a schoolgirl crush. As if the male before her was anything but lethal elegance. 

Was it finally her turn to lose her mind and for him to be the calm one? She could hear his heartbeat a steady rhythm in comparison to the wild beating of her own.

It was just so…bright in the daylight. Where he could see her too clearly. Was it foolish to start thinking about how many people he’d been intimate with over the years now? To compare? She had never fretted about her body before. Where had her boldness from last night gone? She hadn’t cared about all this when she’d thought about straddling him and touching him all she wanted — but this delayed sense of panic was about to hit her in full force and Iris bit her lip, narrowing her gaze at her hands to avoid looking at him.

Eris watched her with thinly veiled amusement and not for the first time, wondered if this was what he looked like whenever his emotions got the better of him. No wonder she was able to remain calm. 

But she had been his calm last night, he could be hers this morning. 

He took a step closer to her and Iris finally glanced up at him. Eris gave her a small smile as his hands gently cupped her face for a moment then slowly slid down to rest on her shoulders.

“What — what are you doing?”

“For someone who came in to check on me, you’re being awfully skittish now.” he teased with another chuckle. Eris began to soothingly rub her shoulders, his hands sliding down her arms. “Are you…feeling alright this morning?” he asked quietly and the color in her cheeks deepened as she nodded.

“I’m…alright.” 

“Liar.” he said playfully and because he rarely could help himself around her, he leaned in for a swift kiss to the corner of her mouth. A chaste kiss by his standards but it had the desired effect; her shoulders loosened. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Iris sighed, roses blooming on her cheeks as she finally looked at him. “I’m thinking that…being with you in the daylight is a different kind of vulnerability that I wasn’t expecting to feel so…” she took a breath, trying to find the right word then huffed, waving a hand towards herself. “Like this about it.”

“Adorable? It is rather unexpected with how threatening you typically are.” he said and her expression flattened. 

“My knife is right through that door.”

“There she is.” Eris said with a smirk then laughed at her annoyed expression before pulling her into his arms and holding her against him. Iris hesitated for a moment before carefully wrapping her arms around his waist, fighting an embarrassed smile. 

He moved once more, his lips marking her temple before leaning close to her ear and whispering, “All I want to do is relax together this morning. Anything else will be up to you.” he said. “Is that alright?”

Iris met his gaze and then nodded once more, biting her lip as Eris stepped back again and slowly pulled on the sash of her robe then gently turned her around. Her heart rate quickened as her husband slid his hands to the top of her robe, similar to how she had wanted to slip it off the night before, and let it slip to expose her shoulders. 

“See how easy it slides?” he said, his voice low and Iris tried not to shiver as her hands held the robe by her chest, preventing it from fully slipping off. He leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on her shoulder and then on her neck. “It’s almost like it wants you to take it off. No shyness is necessary.” 

A breathless noise slipped from her lips and he chuckled against her neck, kissing her shoulder once more. “I’ll turn around until you get in the water.”

Iris looked at him over her shoulder, knowing the color of her cheeks had intensified then turned away with a sigh. “It’s silly, I know.” she said quietly. “After last night you’d think it would be fine but…”

Eris hummed as she trailed off. “I understand,” he said after a moment. “I’m the only one who gets to see you this way.” Eris kissed the back of her neck once more, causing her to shudder, and let his hand gently guide her by the chin to look back at him once more. “The dark makes us all a little braver but I want you to be brave with me every hour of every day.” 

Whatever hesitation she had felt fizzled out at his gaze.

Husband. Friend. Mate. 

“Do you want to see what I had picked out for you last night?” she whispered and Eris felt his heart stutter in his chest. 

“My answer will always be yes,” he murmured. “I will take whatever you’re willing to give me.”

Iris waited for a heartbeat, the flush deepening on her skin at the overwhelming sense of modesty she felt. Was this how newlyweds usually felt? Was this how it could’ve gone? 

It was so simple but so exciting. Because they could have it now. They could start over. 

Slowly, she turned to face him and with her eyes never leaving his, Iris watched Eris’s expression shift as she let the gown slip down her body to the floor, her lips twitching at the appreciative noise that came from her husband. 

She couldn’t tell whose heart was beating faster. 

Eris had always wanted her and it may have taken Iris longer to admit it, but gods did she want him too. Her body pulsed with a need she had only allowed herself to think about in her very private moments and as she watched him watch her, Iris knew it was very clear to her husband how she felt about him.

For Eris had gone rigid, every thought emptying from his head as he felt his mouth go dry at the sight of her. His wife was stunning. He couldn’t look at her for a moment without the thought crossing his mind. But the way she stood before him, in a gown hugging her figure so delicately, so much of her lovely skin on display, and her expression — the desire mixed with shyness. It would be the death of him. 

This is what had been waiting for him. Had the night gone differently — had he been able to stomach being touched more than what he had managed last night — 

His insides crumbled when she bit her lip at whatever expression she saw on his face. 

“You are so beautiful.” he whispered and her flush deepened.

“I thought you’d like it.” Iris said softly. “You seem to appreciate me in green.”

“I appreciate you in everything,” he said and stepped closer, his fingers delicately holding the silk edge of the gown, heat radiating from them both. “I look forward to the day I am privileged to appreciate you in nothing.”

Iris tried not to shudder as his eyes devoured the sight of her before him. Hungry was truly the only way to describe his gaze and she was close to letting him devour her whole. 

But she remembered his hesitation to touch. She remembered how she had reacted to his. Iris didn’t want to push but she did want him to know that his wife wanted him too.

“It could be sooner than you think,” Iris whispered and Eris shot her a smoldering look and shook his head. A pained laugh slipped his lips as he took a step back and turned from her, running his hands through his hair.

He had to take a deep breath before answering “Get in there. Before I lose my mind.”

Iris bit back a laugh, her cheeks aflame as she carefully slid the lacy slip and undergarment off her. She stood there for a moment, debating if she should say something else — if she should tell him to turn around and look his fill. Did it torture him more to look and not touch? Her eyes fell on his clenched fists and as she opened her mouth, he cut her off.

“Don’t tempt me, wife. Not yet.” he said quietly, the words a sensual promise of what he would do when he allowed himself – when he could touch her and not worry about his body stinging. 

Iris managed a small breath before making her way to the large tub, even as the tug of the mating bond told her to turn around – begged her to touch him, she forced herself forward and slowly sank into the welcoming warmth. 

She closed her eyes and couldn’t help the small groan that slipped from her lips as she sank deeper into the water and bubbles, the water stopping at her chin. The stress of yesterday slowly seeped out of her bones and she leaned back against the tub, letting herself soak in the pleasant sensations until Eris’s low chuckle flowed to her. Iris opened her eyes to find him seated on the step outside of the tub, resting his elbow on the edge just watching her.

The bubbles were a barrier between them but it didn’t stop the heat from coursing through her body, knowing that Eris could see if he wanted to and Iris knew without him saying anything, his thoughts had drifted in the same direction. 

“Do you…want to join me?” she asked softly and Eris blinked, his eyes on the water surrounding her and he swallowed hard before shaking his head.

“I want to let you enjoy it,” he said and ran a hand through his hair again. “I don’t trust myself not to ruin the moment with my hands.”

Iris glanced down at the water. “But I like your hands.” she said and looked up with a soft laugh at his groan.

“I am sincerely trying to be a gentleman and you’re making it hard not to regret the choice immediately.” he muttered and let his hand slip into the water, flicking it in her direction. 

“You? A gentleman?” Iris replied with a playful scoff, flicking water back in his direction. “Who are you and where have you gone with my husband?”

Eris rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, he’s coming right back to deal with his wife’s sassy mouth.”

Iris tried and failed to hold back a coy smile. “I thought you liked my mouth.” 

Eris’s mouth curled as he gave her a knowing look. “Oh, I very much do. I don’t think your husband would appreciate just how much I liked it.” 

She immediately looked away from him, biting down on her lips and trying not to go into cardiac arrest. They were flirting. So easily. So openly. Her cheeks heated again at how ridiculous she felt at her reactions but it couldn’t be helped. It felt so… good. 

Iris shyly glanced at him once more to find him watching her, amusement softening his face. 

“I like the aroma choices.” she said sheepishly into the silence.

His mouth seemed to fight back a smile. “I picked your favorite scents.” 

“You noticed that?”

“I notice everything about you, wife.” 

Iris’s gaze dropped to the bubbles in front of her again, biting the inside of her cheek as her heart thumped at his words. He noticed so much about her. He saw her. 

“I never did get to tell you last night…” she began and braved a glance at his face. “Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I know it was hard.”

His expression sobered, his eyes softening in a way that thrilled her every time he let it slip. A heartbeat passed before Eris finally spoke. “Thank you for listening.” 

Oh gods. She thought as a deep flush overtook her face. This — this was new territory. These… gentle feelings. The idea of liking him so much threatened to overwhelm her, it made her want to go back to hating him.

Sensing her distress, Eris tilted his head and asked with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re being so polite.” she whispered. “It’s freaking me out.”

Silence filled the room for a moment as Eris blinked at her and Iris felt her mortification expand when his lips twitched. 

Her husband’s laugh was met with her own groan of embarrassment, echoing off the walls and Iris flicked water at him again.

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“How can you expect me not to laugh? You did say you were funny.” he said with a boyish grin, leaning on his braced elbow across from her and reaching with the other hand to brush a loose curl from her face. “Give me a moment to be nice about the fact that my wife is sitting naked in a tub with me when a week ago she barely let me touch her.”

Their gazes met and Iris felt a pleasant jolt down her spine as he watched her. Attraction. Lust. Curiosity. It all mingled in that one look. So much to be said in a shared gaze. 

How long could they delay the inevitable return to reality outside of their bedroom? How long could Iris keep him to herself, unburdened like this? 

She sat up slowly in the water, and Iris would never stop loving the way his eyes watched her every move, zeroing in on the now-exposed shoulders where the water stopped. 

“Eris.” She said softly and he straightened at the shyness in her tone. That shyness. It would do him in.

“Iris.”

“You never did kiss me good morning.” She continued, a finger tracing the edge of the tub as she looked at him. “I think husbands are supposed to do that.”

His mouth was a soft smirk. “Is that so.”

Iris glanced down at the finger still tracing the edge of the tub then back to him. “Mm. I bet mates do that too.”

Eris’s head emptied at the small, coy smile, despite the flush of her cheeks. He took in her beautiful face and how a few loose strands of hair had curled to frame her face and gods, he could easily understand how people became obsessed.

“I can most definitely do that.” He said, his voice dropping. “Shall I come closer and give you the kiss you desire?”

Iris shrugged her shoulder playfully. “I hope it’s not my desire alone.”

“Never.”

A heartbeat passed then —

Iris leaned up as Eris leaned in, their lips meeting in a caress of hellos. His hand found its way to the back of her delicate neck, mindful of what happened the night before, his thumb caressing her skin as Iris brushed a hand against his face, pulling him into her. Their kiss deepened, an answer to a call that thumped beneath their skin. 

And it was always a melody that played, a tune of comfort, a song that eased their battered spirits. Eris wanted to sink in her touch and never come out. He hadn’t known a – a tenderness like this could exist. That he was worthy of it. That he deserved it.

He leaned even further, allowing Iris to lean back against the tub as she opened for him, his tongue meeting hers, and a moan slipped from her mouth that had his body heating. Eris could stay here all day, tasting her and taking more, the bond between them almost begging them to do more. 

Mine.

The word seemed to echo in his chest and before he could let himself get too carried away, Eris nipped at her lips one last time then slowly eased back as Iris watched him, bringing her hand to the rest on his still settled near her neck. 

Eris’s eyes narrowed slightly as he licked his lips, watching her face, her hand on his. “You…you are going to be a problem.”

Iris flushed prettily. She slowly moved his hand from her neck and interlaced their fingers, holding it in hers beneath the water. “But I haven’t done anything to cause problems.”

He shook his head with a short laugh. “You have witchcraft in your lips, wife. You know exactly what you’re doing.” Eris nodded towards his hand beneath the bubbles. “You seem to have ideas on where that hand should be.”

“Am I not allowed to hold your hand as my husband?”

“My hands are at your disposal, mate.”

It fell quiet between them again and Eris couldn’t help but move closer again, trying not to think about how she was holding his hand in both of hers beneath the water, resting on exposed skin. 

Skin he would want to touch, to taste — gods he wanted to —

With a sigh, he rested his forehead against the edge of the tub. “I need to find a way to stop time.” he muttered and Iris fought back a smile.

“So you could do what?”

“To do nothing. Or everything,” he replied and straightened again. “To stay like this without worrying about everything else out there.”

Iris’s expression softened and she squeezed his hand. “We’ll figure it out. It will be fine.”

Eris hummed. “I won’t allow it to be any other way.”

And before he could let himself spiral again, Iris reached out with her other hand and brushed a strand of his hair back. “Maybe we can sneak you over to the Winter Court and have you hibernate with their fuzzy bears.” 

He snorted, gently tugging his hand out of her grasp. “No thank you. I’d just melt everything and Kallias would go to war with me for ruining the environment.”

Iris chuckled softly. “At least it wouldn’t be over a petty squabble I’m sure you two have had before.” 

“No, I reserve my petty squabbles for the Night Court.”  

She shook her head with a small smile. “And you call me a problem.” Iris said, earning her a small smile from her husband. She bit her lip and had to look away at the mention of the Night Court, the conversation she had with Elain a while ago surfacing in her mind. She hesitated to bring it up and at her hesitation Eris’s brow lifted.

“Wife?”

Iris pursed her lips, pink tinting her cheeks. “A question for a question.” 

Eris leaned against their tub, his expression curious. “Mm?”

She paused once more, thinking about how to word the concern she had. “It’s about the – our mating bond.” she said quietly and Eris straightened again. 

“Yes.” he said tightly and Iris slipped a hand out of the water and gently touched his. 

“Mates…” she began and licked her lips, her finger tracing the back of his hand. “Are equals — matched in some form or another. Be it in power or standing, they are on matching grounds.” 

“And?” he asked carefully. Iris paused once more, her hand falling back into the water. 

“It doesn’t…bother you that I’m not as powerful as the other females you were interested in?” she asked quietly. “I know alliances across courts are usually rooted in power matches. You don’t feel like your father made you…settle?”  

Eris sat quietly for a moment then tilted his head as they shared a glance. “You know about Nesta Archeron then.” 

Iris nodded and Eris took a breath, feeling the back of his neck heat. 

“I wanted her for the power she had, yes. I thought that type of magic was wasted in the Night Court. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Iris’s hands twitched nervously beneath the water and she glanced down. “Ah. I see,” she said and Eris quirked a brow. “I’m sure how beautiful she is didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“She may be beautiful but…” Eris began, then reached out and lifted her chin to meet her gaze. “She has nothing on my mate.”

“Your mate who doesn’t have a fraction of your power,” she answered and Iris tried not to let this newfound insecurity chip away at her as she frowned slightly. “I think I answered my own question.” 

Eris watched her curiously for a moment. He knew navigating this side of their relationship wouldn’t be easy – the idea of being married and mated to a Prince, soon-to-be High Lord when she wasn’t used to seeing herself as important. When all she’d known was to be stifled. It didn’t surprise him that this concerned her. “Is that what you think?” 

She glanced at him then looked away, pulling back from his hand. “My abilities are only just growing. I mend and heal. Given the cutthroat nature of being part of a High Lord’s household, I’m not sure that’s going to be the kind of power match you were aiming for.” 

Eris watched for her another moment, the color in her cheeks deepening as her words hung between them. The idea that she had anything to be worried about when it came to him made him want to laugh. 

He chuckled and Iris immediately scowled. 

“If you make fun of me –”

“I don’t think you realize how matched we actually are.” he said and Iris paused. “Mates are equals, yes. But it’s not only about power.” Eris let his fingers dip in the water, heating it before flicking a little water at his wife who squirmed, flicking some right back at him. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Mates are about balance. You have a soul partner for a reason and the very core of that is a sense of stability. Peace.”

Their conversation from last night came to mind as Iris digested his words and though her cheeks were still flushed in slight embarrassment, she felt her shoulders relax. “So what you’re saying is that you and I balance each other and that’s why we’re mates?”

“I think that you underestimate how badly someone like me needed someone like you in his life.” he confessed somberly and Iris’s expression softened. 

“Someone to put you in your place?” she teased quietly and Eris chuckled.

“But of course,” he replied and held out his palm to her. “I think your healer hands were meant to find me.”

Iris bit the inside of her cheek and rested a hand on his, squeezing. “You think so?”

Eris hummed his agreement. “Fingers crossed, they don’t end up stabbing or choking me at some point, of course.” 

Iris snorted and slapped his hand. “At least you know I can fix it should I be inclined to do so.” 

“See? Balance.” he said with a wink and Iris couldn’t help her chuckle before nodding toward him. 

“Speaking of fixing…would you like me to try and fix your hair for you?”

Eris brushed a hand through his hair and then shook his head. “I have someone for that. He’ll fix me up,” he replied. “I have too much to do today and I can’t be too careful around you with a blade. With my neck exposed nonetheless.” 

Iris rolled her eyes and flicked water at him with her free hand. “You’re annoying.” was her only response and Eris shrugged with his signature smirk. “What do you have to take care of today? Can I help with anything?”

He hummed softly, thinking about how if things were different, he’d be in that bath with her. If things were different, he wouldn’t already be shuffling things in his mind trying to make up for hours he lost in the morning and get things done. If things were different, he’d look into a little cabin in the woods where he could whisk her away to – just for the two of them. If things were different, Eris would spare his mate more time to indulge in her the way he wanted. 

But again, he was patient. He would indulge when it was safe. When she wouldn’t end up on the end of a blade for his choices. Eris sighed once more, his brows furrowed in thought. “I need to check on my mother and then see Izak.”

She cocked her head. “You normally don’t mention Izak. Is something wrong with him?”

“Something is always wrong with Izak.” Eris said and smiled drily at Iris’s snort. “I didn’t get a chance to share the wonderful news Finn told me…”

[ryonello]

wanted to doodle my tavs :3

[kerosen]

The energy it took for me to take this.

But here’s my bjd squad so far! Minus the three that’ll show up sometime this year lolol.

[lavellyne]

[OC] happy pride month! here's some *old* stuff feat my ocs. ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[flowgence]

pony droobles and junk

[erifin]

Commission for @mooju-juju ! Of her fantroll Athebe Zontal!

Check out my commissions!

Or buy me a Ko-fi! It'd really help me out!

[apiscircensis]

dunmeshi au for my twst ocs bc I fell head first in the dungeon and got brain damage

[edit: a whole wall of text under the cut]

ok so this is set in the dunmeshi world but it's a separate story, unrelated to the main plot and characters

Shipwreck Cove is a dungeon on a cliff by the sea, near a coastal town. it's impossible to reach it by sea, as it's surrounded by constant whirlpools, the only way to get in is by climbing to the highest point of the cliff

great part of it's inner structure is submerged or surrounded by water, but it's still frequented by many adventurers bc the water that flows to the upper levels seems to have slight curative properties. legend says the water at the heart of the dungeon can heal incurable illnesses or even grant eternal life

🦑 Morgan (gnome) has been lord of the dungeon for something around ten years. his original wish is a secret

he was once an adventurer. he's an experienced mage both at healing magic and offensive spells (and has also studied the darks in secret), but his weak legs slowed down the party, who had no qualms in letting him know so, either by reproaching him or straight up letting him fall behind

one day, angry and frustrated, Morgan abandoned his party and ventured deeper into the dungeon by himself. by the time he noticed, he had reached the deepest level and, well, things happened

Morgan has severe abandonment issues. he created the quaintest little dungeon to lock himself in with his close circle. it was a beautiful and safe place, so that people could come and go at their leisure

soon enough, Morgan started feeling like people went more than they came back, so he started tweaking the dungeon bit by bit to discourage people from roaming. changing pathways, setting traps, creating more monsters. generally making it increasingly harder to navigate, until it became practically inhabitable except for the designated safe area, which was still pretty much a little eden

his resentment was such that he would find a way to make people part of the dungeon itself

at some point, tired of his body and of his lack of power over others, he turned himself into a kraken chimera, sealed his demon in a chest immediately afterwards, and has since then lived locked up with the few people he could trap in a wrecked ship at the deepest point of the dungeon, guarded by an ever larger kraken (that's his pet that he feeds other monsters and hapless adventurers to lol)

[only one person was ever able to escape Morgan's dungeon, an elf that used to be his closest confidant. however, just as they were about to step out, Morgan stole and sealed their magic in a locket that he keeps somewhere in his ship-home

this elf lives in a secluded area further than the outskirts of town, where they welcome adventurers to whom they offer incredible things in exchange of them traveling and conquering the dungeon, with the intention of getting back their powers that way]

🐒 Blake (tallman) and 🎇 Jacob (dwarf) are a pair of adventurers that hate each other yet have been working together for years lmao

they're quite successful in their expeditions but they're insufferable, so they're always looking for new members for their party bc the previous ones got fed up and left sksksk

they arrived at Shipwreck Cove following the legend of the water of life, each of them for their own reasons

(I still haven't decided if monkey Jacob exists in this au)

⚫ Avon and ⚪ Alba are a pair of walking mushrooms that are always together. they're funny to look at from afar, but they have a nasty vibe when you get close so adventurers prefer avoiding them

Morgan enjoys watching them tussle, so when more people started going in the dungeon he made them an area where they can still be seen while being out of reach enough from strangers. they've become some sort of a local attraction

(I originally thought to make them half foot florists, but a friend came up with this idea and I thought it was so funny that I adopted it lol)

🕰️ Eri (elf) is an historian. he feels a fascination for the short lived races, so he moves to different towns for periods at a time to document the daily lives of those who live and pass through there

🌻Lucas (kobold) is more of an explorer than an adventurer. he and 🛰️ Xander (dwarf), an inventor, travel the world together looking for strange materials and objects for Xander's experiments

🐻 Björn (tallman, bear beastkin) is an adventurer from the north that likes showing off his strength. he travels from one place to another looking for new challenges and creatures to beat

⏳ Noya (gnome) a scholar with an expertise in magical artifacts, who also studies the development of magic. since he's not allowed to study the origins of magic, he has had to settle for observing and studying how it evolves in every day contexts. he occasionally crosses paths with Eri

💋 Philly (elf) is a criminal enlisted by the Canaries against his will. his crimes include theft and selling of magical artifacts, arson, and murder, but true cause of his conviction was attempting to use the dark arts to extend his tallman lover's lifespan

(he's a die hard fan of the Daltan Clan novels and all the other prisoners hate him bc it's all he ever talks about sksbsk)

🎶 Aedon (tallman) kabru without the trauma is barkeep by day and singer by night. they like watching people and trying to guess their stories

and that's it, that's all I have for now✌️😋

[moononastring]

Spirit Meets the Bones XXI

Find it all here.

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Please note: There will be heavy subjects discussed that may be triggering. Author's Note: I know this has taken a little long so I hope you enjoy this long one! I sincerely appreciate every single one of you ♥️ Feedback is always welcome and very encouraging :)

Tagging: @santababysteve | @nina-zcnik | @vanserrass | @climb-the-mountian| @positivewitch | @ladyelain | @helion-ism | @readthelastpaage | @lord-lochan | @spinachtz | @elizab3th-grace | @ladystarrynight | @daily-dose-of-sass | @highlady-fireheart | @carnythian | @theviewfromtheotherside | @lovedbyth3sun | @carolynmezzosoprano | @thedarkinmansfield | @moonfawnx | @imma-too-many-fandoms | @x-soladosisfacitvenenum-x | @krem-does-stuff | @that-golden-lyre | @cynicalpotato95 | @lattristanketcup | @tiny-dragon-lover | @runningwiththeoceans | @nightchanges20 | @sweet-but-stormy | @deedz-thrillerkilller16 | @illyrianshadowhunter | @this-is-rochelle | @thewilderheart | @yourlocalbookwhore | @applestrudeldoo | @comingupbexx | @foxybananaaaz | @weesablackbeak |

Something was wrong. 

Iris had started to sense it not too long after Eris had left, a sense of unease worked its way through her chest and twisted in her gut.  She tried to brush off the worry — today had been a whirlwind and Finn showing up suddenly was probably adding to the stress she was already feeling. Eris would be fine. He should be fine. Even if he was taking longer than she expected. 

She let herself focus on other things while she waited, mindlessly tidying the room, washing up for bed, and lastly, actually choosing something she deemed indecent to wear to bed.

It was a beautiful olive-green gown, the material satin with lace trimmings that seemed to have been made for her, hugging her body in a way she knew would send her husband into a nice little spiral. Or, at least she hoped it would. It was also much shorter than she’d ever worn around Eris, barely reaching her midthigh and that — well, that made her a little more nervous than she’d like to be.

It was just skin after all. She’d gradually been showing him a little skin with each new set but never…never this much. Iris flushed deeply and then frowned at her reflection.

“Get over yourself.” she mumbled. “It’s not like you don’t want him to touch you.” 

Because she did. If his kisses were any indication, Eris would likely be the death of her, and that had her feeling very nervous. But she had a nice long robe that would make her feel more secure. At least until they talked and she got answers to her questions. 

Today had been challenging in its own way but this moment, choosing to be just a little more intimate with him…this was for her. For the way he had been making her feel the past few weeks. For the way his eyes always watched her with just a little hunger and a whole lot of amusement. 

But mostly…for the way his voice had dropped when he had made his request earlier. He had asked so politely. It would be bad manners to refuse. 

If he’d just hurry up and come back already.

Iris had been standing in front of the vanity, fidgeting slightly with the thin strap of her nightgown when a sharp tug to her ribcage had her freezing. A gasp left her lips as she steadied herself and the dread she had been trying to keep at bay came back in full force. She felt panicked. She felt — she felt pain.

Something was wrong and she didn’t understand what that was. That — that tug.

With shaking hands, she quickly slipped the robe over her gown and tied it firmly, rushing to her door and yanking it open. 

She staggered to a halt in the doorway when one of Eris’s commanders turned to face her and she blinked in surprise. 

“Oren?” she asked and straightened. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

The general took a moment to scan the hall, empty aside the two of them then took a small step towards her and gave her a tight smile. “His Royal Highness, Prince Eris wished for you to have some additional protection at this time.” Oren said calmly but Iris’s heart stuttered in her chest. She didn’t miss the usage of the formal title, especially when Oren and Eris were friends and that never happened between them.

“Where is he?” she demanded. “He was supposed to be meeting with Finn earlier. Has something happened?”

The tight smile remained on Oren’s face.  “The High Lord requested him earlier. He sent me here before he went.”

Iris inhaled sharply, her grip tightening on the doorframe as another sense of unease washed over her. “I knew something was wrong.” she said quietly and Oren narrowed his eyes at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Something is wrong. I can feel it.” Iris said and rubbed a hand to her forehead. “I’m going to change then go find —”

“I can’t let you leave.” Oren stated and Iris froze.

“Excuse me?”

Oren winced and Iris cocked a brow as he took a breath. “I am under orders to watch over you.” he said more gently. “Until he returns from his meeting with the High Lord.”

“He’s never had someone stand guard when he meets with the High Lord.” she said quietly and again, she felt that flutter of panic, and Oren’s lip thinned. 

“It seems, the High Lord is angrier than usual.”

Iris bit her lip and then let out a breath. He was angry with Eris and Iris knew without a doubt, it had to be because of her. Because of her horrible father. “Fuck.” she mumbled and Oren gestured gently to the room behind her. 

“I suggest you wait inside.”

“How am I supposed to wait when I know that —” she began then cut herself off in frustration, knowing she couldn’t say anything about the High Lord that wouldn’t get back to him. “How can I just wait when I’m telling you I can sense something is wrong!”

Oren gave her a look she didn’t quite understand then again, gently said, “I know it might be hard to wait but it’s better for you and him to stay here. He’ll worry about you less.”

Worry about her. As if she cared about herself at this moment. Knowing what she knew about Beron, she wouldn’t be surprised if he was tearing into Eris for not beating Iris alongside her father. She ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip, holding back a string of curses. 

The High Lord needed Eris. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything — but Iris immediately shook her head. The High Lord would do whatever he wanted to his son. 

And she could do nothing to protect him. 

Shame and anger coiled in her stomach and Iris wished there was more she could do — anything she could do other than sit here and wait.

She glanced at the commander once more who only gave her a nod. She sighed.

“You don’t have to wait outside. I’ll be fine.” she said quietly. “No one can come in here without my permission.”

Oren gave her a small smile. “I know. But I am loyal to one male and one male only,” he said. “And I will do as he requested of me.”

Iris watched Oren carefully. So he knew all about Eris and the way things were with the High Lord. He’d also been a friend and commander of his for so long…but she had to ask, “Why?”

The corner of the commander’s mouth shifted up. “Because I see what he’s been trying to do. And I believe in him,” he said then gestured with his chin behind her again. “I’ll be here if you need anything until he returns.”

Knowing she’d been dismissed, Iris turned to go back into her rooms. Oren had distracted her briefly but as she slowly shut the door, her hands started to shake again. She couldn’t help the guilt threatening to consume her, couldn't help the twist in her gut. How long would Beron keep his son? What would he do to him?

Her eyes flickered to the grandfather clock sitting in the corner of their living space and she frowned. It was already so late in the evening. How much longer would this meeting take?

But an hour went by. Then several more. 

And Iris spent the time pacing around their room, fighting back her anxiety and holding herself back from running past Oren and finding her husband herself. 

She had been seated, curled up on their bed trying and failing to distract herself when she heard the familiar thud of their door closing and leaped to her feet.

“You took so long! I started to think —” Iris started but the rest of the words died in her throat at the sight of Eris in front of her. 

Heat filled the room almost immediately as Iris halted a few feet away from him. 

Her husband stood before her and Iris wasn’t sure where to look. At the now tattered jacket somehow still on his body. Or at the blood dripping from him. Or his hair that now barely reached the nape of his neck. She couldn’t stop staring, her heart rate increasing at the cold detachment on his face and the dead look in his eyes that set her on edge. 

Iris tried to swallow, to hold back the horror and panic going through her body, to calm her shaking hands.

“What — what happened?” she asked carefully, taking a step closer to him. Eris’s gaze dropped to her feet and the step she took closer to him then back up to her face. 

A beat of silence passed. Then another. Eris watched her, barely blinking and Iris didn’t dare move or say anything more as her fingers curled into the fabric of her robe. 

Slowly and without saying a word, Eris gestured to his body, to the state he was in, and Iris tried to keep her expression from falling, tried to curb the slight panic clogging in her throat. Once again, Eris only glanced down then back up at her but this time, she saw wildfire in his eyes. The room’s temperature spiked and Iris felt her chest tighten as anger surged around them. 

Eris wasn’t angry, no. He was seething. Fuming.

He took a step towards her and her heart started to beat frantically at the flame that had started to lick at his heels. 

“Eris,” she started gently. “Tell me what happened.”

The Prince of Autumn cocked his head as his wild eyes watched her and Iris knew whatever had happened, whatever the High Lord had done to him, it was bad enough that Eris had gone someplace far, far away. And her Eris was not back yet. 

His eyes narrowed on her and Iris couldn’t find it in her to say anything more, her body tensing instead. She wanted him to say something, anything to fill the silence, where the only sound she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart. Her husband had not returned as he had left and she wasn’t sure if he fully would. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself that would help him, that would ease whatever was going through his mind right now.

It was as she opened her mouth once more that Eris moved, taking one step towards her and Iris paused. She willed herself not to flinch as his hands lowered from behind his back and knew Eris had clocked the movement. His hands wouldn’t hurt her but it still didn’t stop her from watching them carefully.

They watched each other silently. 

And Eris wanted to reply to her question, to speak, but he was having a hard time trying not to vomit. He was having a hard time trying to remember how to breathe properly. He had lost consciousness at some point enduring his father’s wrath and had woken up to find himself laying in his own blood. He didn’t remember being untied, and he didn’t know how much time had passed, but he knew he needed to check on his mother. He needed to get back to his wife. 

So Eris had forced himself to stand on trembling legs, his wits barely about him. He forced himself to leave the throne room and muster what will he had left to winnow in front of his parent’s chambers. And Eris had waited, barely able to stand as his blood dripped from him to hear something, anything to indicate that his mother was alright. But Eris had heard nothing and he didn’t know if the deafening silence was worse than the cries of pain he had expected. Only when black dots began to line his vision had he finally forced himself to winnow once more to his own door. 

He had waved off an alarmed Oren and allowed himself a moment to compose himself before walking in and standing as he stood now.

And he really, really wanted to hurl his guts because Iris was looking at him in a way he wasn’t used to in a moment like this. No one usually saw him like this. He mostly let himself go numb during his father’s unleashing and then, only when he was alone, did Eris let his anger consume him. But he had already been teetering on the edge today and he was no longer alone. 

Iris said nothing as he stood there, only watching him with a level of concern that made his chest feel tight. She cared. She cared about what happened to him. She was not his father and she was not looking at him with anything but genuine concern and everything in him recoiled at the fact that she had to see him this way at all. That his father had put him in this position, to look weak and it made him so angry that Eris went momentarily blind with rage. 

He forced himself to swallow and then do it again before he could unlock his jaw enough to speak.

“My father,” he began in a voice that wasn’t quite his and the flames licking his heels spiked up. “Wanted to give me a new look.” He held up a bloodied fist. “He suggested I choke you with what was left of this.”

Iris dropped her gaze to his hand holding — clutching strands of hair that was — she looked up at his face again then back down to his hand. 

“Oh gods.” she mumbled and her heart sank to the pits of her stomach. What had the High Lord done to him? Or rather, what hadn’t the High Lord done to him? Iris took another hesitant step toward him and started to say, “Let me —” 

But immediately, Eris held his other hand, stopping her in place and Iris fell silent. His eyes didn’t leave the hand holding the strands of his hair.

He finally glanced up at her, that wildfire in his eyes. “I told him to fuck off, of course.” he continued. “He didn’t take that well.” His gaze dropped again and Iris’s eyes followed to where a few drops of blood had dripped by his feet. She couldn’t even tell where it was coming from. “He didn’t take many things well during our conversation.”

“Conversation.” she repeated faintly and her face fell at the way his own hands had started to shake. “The state that you’re in is the result of a conversation.”

Eris fell silent again, blinking down at his trembling hands. A part of him wished he’d evaporate, simply melt into the floor and cease to exist. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to think about how much this family had been through and how much more they’d have to suffer until his fucken father died. Maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about his wife being another body for his father to beat down. 

Maybe then —

“Eris?” 

He looked up at her gentle calling, so unlike the voice of his father who had spent the past few hours breaking him. The way she looked at him made him want to collapse.

He was bleeding and broken and there was no logical reason for it other than his father was a monster.

“How — how did you even walk the halls like this?” she finally asked and couldn’t help how choked her voice sounded, couldn’t help that she had to keep breaking his silence. Her own hands were shaking as she moved closer to him. “Let me help you — let me see wherever you’re bleeding from.”

Eris shook his head and tried to breathe. She cared and it was too much for him. He couldn’t do this now — he needed more time.

But even if he wanted to, that thread at his ribcage forced him to stay where he was. How could it not when he looked at her and it steadied him? That thread that had dragged him back here, to this room. That thread was the reason he hadn’t let his fire consume him.

It took him another moment to speak, his eyes unblinking as he watched her. “I shouldn’t be able to winnow directly in the House but stubborn as I am,” he said with a hoarse laugh and swayed slightly. “I can bend the magic to my will.” He pointed a bloody finger at her. “I think it has to do with you.”

This rooted Iris to where she stood. “With me?” she repeated in a whisper. 

“With you.” he confirmed and lowered a trembling hand to his side, his eyes unfocused. “I had to come back to you. You were waiting for me.”

Iris’s mouth trembled and she tried to swallow back the cascade of emotions surging through her body at his words. “What can I do?” she pleaded. “What do you need right now to make this moment easier?”

“What do I need.” he repeated and his eyes fell back to his hands. Iris watched his grip tighten until a flame burst in his fist and what was left of his hair was no more. Eris shook his head again, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe. Her face fell as he backed a step from her, both fists aflame now. “You shouldn’t be near me right now.” he said and his gaze flickered up, his wild eyes watching her. “I — I am not — I don’t —”

What was left of her battered heart broke further. He was physically standing before her but Iris could see the struggle in his eyes to connect to their reality.  She wanted to reach him. She needed to reach him and remind him, that he was hers and she would take care of him the way he took care of her.

“It’s okay.” she said as gently as possible and slowly reached out a hand. “Let me help you.”

“Don’t.” Eris snarled so viciously that Iris couldn’t stop the flinch this time, yanking her hand back immediately. 

A thick silence filled the room once more and Iris watched her husband’s chest rise and fall, his breathing starting to turn shallow, those wild eyes watching her in an almost pained resolve at her reaction.

“You flinched from me.” he said, the words barely distinguishable.

Iris swallowed and she hid her trembling hands in the folds of her robe. “It’s alright.” she said softly and saw the way he shuddered at the two words. “You — you surprised me. That’s all.” 

He took a step towards her and Iris froze, waiting as he breathed more deeply, the flame licking his body seeming to flare and then shrink with each breath. “I’m — I’m sorry.” he said, his voice guttural. “I need — I — I need —”

“You need a moment.” she said as his body shook and she fought every instinct to reach out again. She — she wanted to hold him, needed to. But he wasn’t there yet. He was still finding his way back to himself. So she tried to reassure him from their six feet of distance. “That’s alright. Why don’t you go change?”

He nodded and blinked at her, his gaze still unfocused. “Shower.”

“Okay.” she said and nodded carefully. “I’ll — I’ll ask for some tea.”

But her husband just stared at her. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.”

“Stay.” he said then repeated, “Don't go anywhere.”

Iris gave him a tentative smile, trying and failing to hide how deep her worry ran. She tightened her grip on her robe so she wouldn’t reach out to him again. “I’m not going anywhere, Eris. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

She watched him as he watched her and again felt that tug in her ribcage that she didn’t understand as Eris swallowed hard then slowly, as if he was forcing himself to, he walked away from her and into their bathroom.

The door shut behind him and Iris’s face fell. How badly had that…conversation gone? She had no doubt her own father had played a part in it after the way Eris had humiliated him but to what extent? How many more gifts had Beron given Eris? Letting out a shaky breath, her eyes fell to the drops of blood that had left a trail behind him.

An icy rage blinded her momentarily and Iris wanted nothing more than to find the High Lord and stab him violently until he choked on his own blood. Until he had enough wounds to make up for the ones he put on his son even if it would never be enough. The world would be a better place when the time came and he was gone. 

The sound of the water running had her blinking back to reality and Iris forced herself to snap into action and move. 

It didn’t slip her mind that earlier in the day, their situations had been the opposite and Iris wanted nothing more than to erase the anger and the shame that tied both of them to shitty fathers. 

She knew Eris was…not himself yet. She knew he needed a way back and Iris needed to believe that there was a way out of this — this darkness they were surrounded in. There had to be. 

No one deserved to live like this and as she wiped away any signs of his bleeding heart, Iris knew she would give him whatever he needed. Anything that would be a bright light for him on an otherwise dark night. So she had the tea tray ready with a bottle of hard liquor seated right next to it. Most importantly, she had tried to discreetly have her healing salves ready in the event he felt comfortable enough for her to touch him. 

She waited, too restless to sit, and paced between the sitting table and hovering by the door of the bathroom, listening in case — Iris wasn’t sure in case of what but was sure she wanted to be close by. 

Iris had just moved away from the door again when it finally opened and she immediately turned to find Eris standing in his sleeping attire. She tried not to frown at the way his body was still tense and her eyes roamed his face.

“I have the tea.” she said quietly. “And um, alcohol.”

The corner of his mouth ticked up a millimeter before his expression shifted to the blank one she hated and he walked over to her, stopping a few feet away.

She waited, letting him take his time as he glanced down at his feet and then back up at her, his anger still lingering around him.

He watched her, his hands at his sides. “I made you flinch away from me.”

“You were angry.” she said simply. 

“I would never harm you, Iris.” 

His tone offered no argument and the corner of her own mouth curled up. Anger towards her had typically only meant one thing but she knew, deep in her weary bones, that Eris would never hurt her. 

So Iris took a step closer to him and made sure she met his gaze as she replied in a tone that also offered no argument, “I know.” she said. “Your anger wasn’t towards me.”

His nostrils flared at the reminder and Iris almost regretted saying anything but then he took another step closer to her. “No. It wasn’t,” he said and Iris let her gaze drop to his hands that were clenching and unclenching at his sides. “After…events like this, I usually…am alone. To process.”

The words, the resignation in them, made her ache. Iris wondered how many times he’d had to process alone, with no one to share this burden with.

She looked up again and took one more step toward him as she slowly held out her hands. “Well, you’re not alone anymore,” she said quietly and watch as his gaze dropped to her open hands. “I’m here.”

“Yes, you are.” he said so softly and Iris felt her heart twist. It took him a moment and she felt his hesitation, as if afraid to touch her but she waited. She waited as he clenched and then unclenched his hands once more before he slid his hands into hers. 

“I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” she said as softly as he had spoken. “If not, I’m still here.”

His grip on her hands had tightened and she watched as his breath quickened for a moment, working his jaw. “I will. I have to,” he said hoarsely. “Or I will lose my mind.”

“Okay.” she simply said even as her chest tightened at the slight tremble in his hands. “I can’t have you losing your mind over anything except me, can I now?”

Eris tried to give her a smile but it turned more into a grimace and Iris gave him a small smile of her own, wanting to bring him some sense of ease. She glanced down at their intertwined hands and let her thumb caress the back of his hand gently. “I don’t think I ever actually told you but…” she met his gaze. “I like how your hands feel holding mine. I have since that day I met the puppies for the first time and you told me I have lovely hands.”

She watched the Prince of Autumn shudder at the words and it took him another moment before he could answer her. “Not puppies,” he said and Iris couldn’t help her small smile, especially as he continued in words so quiet, she almost missed them. “I like how your hands feel in mine too.” 

“Smart male.” she said and again, the corner of his mouth lifted but this time, it remained curled up, and again, Iris couldn't stop staring at him. He may look a little different with the sloppy cut he had been given but it didn’t change the feeling that was spreading in her chest. She loved it when he smiled, especially if she was the reason. She liked his wicked mouth too much. 

Iris made to move towards the table but Eris’s grip tightened on her and she turned to find his expression tense, his body rigid.

“Don’t go.”

“I’m only getting you a drink.” she said gently and Eris swallowed then gave a small nod and squeezed her hands once more before reluctantly letting go. Iris couldn't help the way she softened at the way he watched her, as though she was his tether to his way home. 

How many times had he needed someone but had suffered alone? How many times had she been in the same scenario? It made her wonder how often had they shared a moment like this in their separate lives…two sides of the same miserable fucken coin indeed.

The thought exhausted her and with a swallow, Iris pulled away to turn to the table, feeling his eyes on her. As if she’d disappear if he blinked. She opted for the alcohol and filled both teacups to the brim. She may have the power to heal but with wounds that ran as deep as her husband’s…she wasn’t sure if she would be enough. 

She carefully handed him his teacup and stood opposite him as they glanced at one another. 

They did so much watching one another. So much observing. They exchanged so much without saying a word and Iris wondered if he could hear the way her blood was pumping so loudly in her ears. If he knew she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. 

She gestured with her chin. “Drink.”

He glanced down at the cup in his hand and then looked up with a quirked brow. “This isn’t tea.”

“I think we need something a little stronger tonight.” she said gently and Eris gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before lifting the cup in a mock salute and knocking it back. 

Iris switched their cups and handed him hers with a small smile at the dry chuckle that escaped him before he drank it as well. But her expression immediately fell as his body gave a shudder followed by a small grunt of pain and Iris’s grip tightened on her cup.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered and the apology seemed to dim any momentary lightness Eris had experienced. 

“For what.” he said dryly. 

“For whatever happened. For all of it.” she continued and Iris tried not to fidget beneath his gaze. “For anything that I might’ve had to do with it.”

Eris stared at her in silence, his expression tight, and the only sound in the room was the tapping of his fingers against his cup. What seemed like a lifetime later, he reached out to take the empty teacup from her hands and turned from her to place them back on the table.

He stood like this for several quiet moments and it made Iris tense again, wondering if he needed more time. If she should’ve backed off and let him be alone. Even if that was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted —

“You know, my father wanted you with me for this little meeting.” Eris finally said and Iris blinked. 

“Why?”

Eris turned to face her again and leaned against the table. She didn’t miss the way, a second later, he moved a slight inch to avoid his back making contact. 

“You see,” he began and glanced down at his hands. “He found out about my little encounter with your father and didn’t quite like that.” His hands slowly clenched into fists as he spoke. “The High Lord wanted you on your knees apologizing to your father. At your father’s request, of course.”

“What?” she croaked.

“But my father also wanted me to apologize to your father for beating him. Because I did it for you,” he said and then gave her a dry smile. “And well, the High Lord can’t have his son beating people for his wife now, can he? The only person the High Lord’s son should be beating is his own wife.”

Iris’s fingers dug into the folds of her robe as anger and shame washed over her once more. For the audacity of her father and the cruelty of his. 

“He doesn’t deserve an apology,” she said through clenched teeth. “He deserves death.”

“I agree.” Eris said and he slowly made his way over to her, the room heating again with each step. “Which is why my father tied me to a flogging pole and whipped me within an inch of my life. Because I told him that my wife apologizes to no one and I certainly do not apologize to anyone either, especially filth.” he snarled softly and straightened with an angry wince. “So do me a favor? Do not apologize for their choices ever again. My wife doesn’t apologize for things she had no hand in.”

Horror slammed into her as she stared at Eris, fully engulfed in his own flame. At the way he had so casually admitted what his father had done.

“He — he whipped you?” she whispered and watched his body tense again, the temperature in the room spiking once more. 

“Yes. But before that, I broke both of your father’s legs and his face again.” he said and Iris saw his fists clench again. “So that makes us somewhat even.”

“Eris…” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. How can he ask her not to apologize when she was the reason he was hurt? When it was because of her father that he had been pulled so far away from himself.

And she hated how it fell silent between them again. She hated that he felt this way. That he was made to be feeling this level of anger and despair. As if every word that fell from his mouth took too much effort, too much work. 

Iris hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted to make him feel better. To bring back that stupid smirk she pretended to hate so much. She wanted to —

“Don’t look at me like that.” he said so tiredly and it made her ache. With a shake of his head and a deep breath, his flame went out, and he turned away from her, moving towards their bed. 

But Iris froze and every single thought emptied from her head. 

With his back to her, Eris’s shirt had clung to his skin and tiny beads of blood peppered the white shirt. 

He looked over his shoulder, meeting her horrified gaze, and immediately looked away from her, his shoulders tensing as he lowered himself to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Don’t.”

“Eris, you’re bleeding again.” 

“I know.” he managed then rubbed a hand down his face. “Just please stop looking at me like that.”

Iris bit the inside of her mouth, outraged on his behalf and hating that he felt embarrassed by any of it. She willed herself to breathe. One breath in, one breath out. They couldn’t catch a break. A small dosage of time where they could just be. Where everything between them didn’t have to get so fucken hard the moment they found a little ease.

“Look at you like what?” she finally said and made her way over to him. She sank down next to him and knew her expression gave away the panic she was trying to control. “Like I’m disgusted with what happened to you? Like I’m horrified  that your father hurt you because of me and my piece of shit father?” 

She stared at him then waved a hand helplessly. “How else am I supposed to look at my husband who left me in one way then came back another?” she added softly. “How else am I supposed to look when I want to help you so badly but I’m unsure how?”

Iris watched his throat bob as he swallowed. “Careful, wife. You sound like you care about me.” he said and Iris let out a huff of frustration then glared at him. 

“I do care, you stupid bastard.” she muttered, flushing deeply and the dead look in his eyes was given a short reprieve when he gave her a small smile. 

“That’s good to know.” he said and then fell silent, the weight of this whole day and what was left unsaid suffocating. 

And as Iris watched him, she was hit by the need to kiss him. The need to run her hands down his arms and chest and scarred back that she wanted to help him heal and then kiss better. She wanted anything but whatever this heaviness was, anything but that awful expression on his face. Her eyes scanned his slightly ruffled hair and how tired his eyes were and her frown deepened.

Slowly, she reached out a hand to gently touch his face, giving him all the time in the world to push her hand away if he desired. But he didn’t and Iris turned his head so he’d face her and his exhaustion slammed into her.

“What happened was not acceptable.” she whispered. “And for that, I am sorry that it happened to you. Because you don’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything wrong and he had no right to treat you that way.” 

Eris scoffed faintly but swallowed before closing his eyes and hesitated for a heartbeat then nuzzled gently into her hand. He hated how desperately he needed the softness of her touch. How badly he wanted to be soothed. She was here and even if he felt like death itself, she was here. “No one deserves what he delivers.” he finally said quietly. “But we still take it.” 

“You should not have to.” 

“No.” he said and straightened with a grimace, taking her hand in his hand. He let his thumb caress her palm as he added, “None of us should have to.”

“Please let me look at your back,” she whispered but he shook his head, his thumb still rubbing her hand gently. Whether it was to soothe him or to soothe her, she wasn’t sure. "Please. Let me heal it."

A muscle in his jaw flexed and Iris had to remind herself that his anger wasn't at her.

“I can heal it myself,” he replied but not unkindly. “I’m choosing not to at the moment.”

"Why?”

“Pain is good. It keeps the memory fresh.”

Once again, the room heated at the words and Iris’s body went rigid. He was so angry and gods, she knew that anger. She had tasted the humiliation he felt. And she knew without question that beneath that anger was so much sadness. So much exhaustion. So much…yearning. For more. For different.

For love. For some sense of normalcy in a fucked up home that showed them no mercy. 

Iris could practically hear his mind whirling and it pulled at her heart because she had started to understand him in a way very few people did. Slowly, she reached out once more and gently forced him to meet her gaze.

“There is no part of you that deserves pain like this, Eris.” she said firmly and hated the way she could see his disbelief, as though it wasn’t true. 

Eris’s eyes fluttered closed at the words, a muscle flexing in his jaw. “How do you know that? That I don’t deserve pain? I’ve made bad choices. I’ve had to do bad things.”

She shook her head. “Making bad decisions and being forced to do bad things doesn’t make you a bad person. You’ve had to carry so much…give yourself some room.” she said and then added quietly, “Unburden yourself with me. Let me help you.”

Eris met her gaze and she watched the internal struggle in his eyes as he worked his jaw. Finally, he said, “There’s too much. It’s a lot.”

“I know. You were ready to tell me earlier. So tell me now.” she encouraged calmly. “You told me you wanted to know the side of me I didn’t like anyone seeing. That you wanted to see.” She squeezed his hand. “Well, I want to know too. I want to see.”

Eris seemed to pause and then his gaze hardened as he straightened. “Iris,” he began and her brows furrowed at the urgency in his tone. “You have to understand whatever I tell you, it has been kept a secret in order for us to survive. I do not trust anyone as much as I’m allowing myself to trust you. Don’t — don’t make me regret it.” 

She tilted her head and watched him for a quiet minute. “Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”

“No.” he said and swallowed. “But when you’ve been living in a pit of snakes for so long, you’re never sure which one will bite. Things have changed between us but…I have this doubt in the back of my mind that you’ll take anything I say and give it to the highest bidder to get out of this marriage and run.” He paused for a moment and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

She watched him quietly again and it made her chest tighten that even after things had shifted between them, this still worried him. So Iris swallowed and decided to be honest as well.

“And despite the changes between us…I still fear that someday you’ll realize you could beat the living shit out of me every single day and no matter how much I can defend myself, you’ll still overpower me.” she replied. “But I have not seen anything from you that would truly have me succumb to that doubt. Have you seen anything from me to feed into those doubts?”

He paused but Iris didn’t fail to notice how his thumb was back to caressing her hand softly, almost as a way to calm himself down. 

“No.” he said after a moment. “You’re my wife and my friend and my — you’re many things. I — I trust you.” 

“Good. Because I trust you too.” she whispered. “I’ve trusted you not to hurt me and you haven’t.” 

He shook his head and held up her hand in his. “It is my job to protect you. These fists will fight for you.”

Iris couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on her face or the way her heart swelled at the words. “And I am grateful for that.” she said. “But then who protects you?”

His mouth curled into a tired smile and he sighed. “Apparently, it’s my wife with her healer's hands.”

Iris gave him a pointed look then gestured to his shirt with her chin. “Then let these hands help you.” 

Eris tensed and his grip tightened on his wife’s hands. He wasn’t used to anyone being near him whenever this happened. Wasn’t used to anyone seeing any of his scars, much less fresh ones.

But this was Iris. His wife. His mate. And he wanted her hands to touch him. To fit all of his pain in the palm of her lovely hands and wipe it away. 

Eris didn’t let himself overthink it as he finally released her hand from his and only hesitated for a moment before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the ground. He knew Iris hadn’t meant to make a noise but the sharp intake of breath that slipped from her mouth had him digging his hands into his thighs, tensing even further. He would not overthink it. His shirt was already off and she’d seen his scars before…even if his back had never looked this bad.

“Quite a masterpiece my father made, didn't he?” he mused quietly then dared to glance over his shoulder to find Iris’s face flushed in anger, her eyes locked on his back.

The High Lord had avoided his face, of course. He only left bruises where others couldn’t see and had certainly not held back. He knew the scars would line his back, the back of his upper arms, and his neck. He didn’t want to think about his hair and how his father had deliberately kept it down so it would stick in his wounds and make the sting worse.

“Do you think, if I didn’t want your wife here, she wouldn’t be?” his father had whispered to him after the first crack of the whip. “Do you think I couldn’t have her in your position right now if I didn’t want to?”

Eris’s blood had boiled at the mere thought of Iris being subjected to any of this but he kept his mouth shut. He had endured. 

“You’ve gotten too bold, son. You’ve forgotten yourself.”

He had indeed. Eris had forgotten how his father liked to play. But Beron had reminded him over and over again exactly what happens to those who cross the High Lord. Eris had forced his body to shut down and closed off his mind until his father was finished. The only thoughts he allowed himself were of Iris waiting for him.

“I look forward to the day his blood fills these halls.” she muttered. “He deserves nothing but a brutal and painful death.”

The corner of Eris’s mouth curled up. “Bloodthirsty, are you?”

“I am your wife.” she said with a pointed look and a small chuckle escaped him despite how wretched he felt. 

Yes, she was. His lovely little wife.

“Tell me, how pretty do you think your lovely little Iris would look bleeding all over the throne room floor?” his father had whispered. 

His magic had recoiled violently at his father’s threats. Eris had nearly choked on the taste of ash in his mouth.

“I could make you watch. Or…have you be the one to make her bleed. What do you think, son?”

“Eris?”

He blinked himself back into reality to find his fists had burst into flame again and Iris watched him patiently. Eris hadn’t even seen or heard her bring a small bowl with a towel and salves, resting them on the nightstand beside them. He cleared his throat and flexed his hands to calm down. “Hm?”

“I need to start cleaning the wounds and wanted to make sure it’s still alright for me to touch you.” she asked and Eris felt himself nearly break at the question.

He forced himself to take a steadying breath and hoped she didn’t see the slight tremble in his hands when he rubbed his forehead. “Yes.” he said. “It’s always alright for you to touch me.” 

She gently squeezed his arm at the words and he tried to hold back the shudder. He wasn’t used to anyone taking care of him. He could heal himself just fine but his wife wanted to help him. His mate wanting to touch him made a world of a difference and Eris knew the thread that he was holding on to was on its last legs. He had to get everything off his chest, all the burdens he carried.

Iris guided him to sit at the corner of the bed and turn his back to her, working in silence at first and Eris forced himself to relax as she gently dipped his head forward and began cleaning with a soft cloth. This was not his father putting his hands on him, it was his Iris. Her lovely, lovely hands soothed the broken pieces of him. She touched him with featherlike movements and the way his body was reacting to the softness of her hands alarmed him.

This was pathetic. He was pathetic. 

“Does this…has this happened often?” Iris asked into the silence of their room. “I know you have older scars.”

The cloth slid against the nape of his neck and Eris breathed in deeply through his nose, digging his fingers into his thighs. He knew without looking at his wife, that Iris had picked up on it and her touch had gotten even gentler. “You remember when I told you earlier about the High Lord and his ways?” He began tightly and Iris hummed in response. “He leads with fear and a very heavy hand. And I use the term leads very loosely.” 

Eris forced himself to swallow as Iris began to pat his back dry and continued.

“He changed Under the Mountain. He was always rough around the edges but…that time awakened a side of my father that he has not returned from. We all did what we had to do to survive those fifty years but he…he became more vicious.” he said quietly. “Prior to that, he lashed out a lot and his fists spoke before his mouth ever did but it wasn’t consistent. You weren’t sure what would trigger him. The flogging is saved for special occasions, when we really piss him off.” Eris couldn’t look at her as he added, “The first time he used it was on my mother. He made my brothers and I all watch.”

Iris froze behind him, hand in midair as revulsion coursed through her.

“It was after Lucien was born.” Eris said, his voice carefully void of emotion. “We were all locked in place by his magic and had to watch her bleed. We had to listen to her scream and could do nothing. None of us were really the same after that, especially my mother.”

“Why?” Iris managed to choke out and Eris looked over his shoulder at his wife.

“Monsters don’t need reasons but…” he turned away again and with his voice barely above a whisper said, “My mother had an affair and my father found out. Lucien…is not my father’s son.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “W-what?”

“My mother met a male that she fell in love with before she met my father but her family decided power was more important than their daughter’s happiness and married her off to my father anyway,” he said, his voice dull as he glanced at his wife again before his gaze dropped to his hands. “Their relationship was…a checkbox that was fulfilled. And things were fine. Until they weren’t.”

Iris forced herself to move, to place the cloth down on the nightstand and pick up the salves instead. “What happened?” she asked as she sat behind him once more. 

Eris tensed as she began to apply the ointment, forcing himself to breathe through his nose again and calm his thoughts. “The male she loved saved her during the first war and they reconnected.” he continued. “Then the affair began on and off for years. Until my father found out after Lucien was born and nothing about her was the same afterward.”

Iris bit her lip, trying to hold back the nausea she was feeling as tension lined Eris’s back again, his shoulders stiff. “My mother was so full of light and love. A firecracker with magic that almost rivaled my father’s. She was…happy until that day.” Eris said and dread filled Iris’s chest when Eris pulled away to meet her gaze. “After he was done spilling her blood in the throne room that day, he took her away and they were gone for days. We did not know where they went or what he did to her then but when they came back, no fire was left in the Lady of Autumn. Nothing of who my mother had been was left.”

Iris’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest as the room heated once more. She watched Eris’s knuckles turn white from how hard he was clenching them. “Later on, after my mother remembered how to speak and to look at me without flinching,” he growled softly and Iris’s heart shattered further. “She told me everything. About her affair. About what happened. That he had used her fire against her. That he beat her and hurt her, and burned her so badly, he made her fear the fire that made her who she was. She is terrified of it because of how badly he made it hurt.” He let out a breath full of rage. “Since then he has never stopped belittling her and breaking her down. Hasn’t stopped doing everything he can to make her small and weak and prey.”

“And I hate him.” he snarled darkly and Iris felt the bed heat below her as she looked over at Eris, his eyes ablaze. “I hate him with every atom in my body. I loathe him and loathe the life he has forced us to live. I cannot stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice or feeling his eyes on me. I hate that he even breathes the same air as my mother. I hate that he uses my mother against my brothers and me.” Iris watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took shallow breaths. “But most of all, I hate that he’s still alive when his final breathes are a symphony I have been waiting to hear for years.”

Iris blinked and in the next moment, their whole chamber was in flames.

She gasped, her hands dropping to her lap as fire covered every inch of their room. She looked to Eris who had his eyes closed, his head tilted as frustration dripped from every inch of him. Her eyes turned to scan the room, feeling the heat and smelling the smoke. Though none of the flames touched her body, Eris was completely aflame.

“We survived fifty years of darkness beneath that fucken mountain for the nightmare to continue within this forest. He is a plague and the dream of his death is the only thing that keeps me going.”

Silence fell between them as Iris watched his fire burn throughout the room. She wondered what would happen if he did let it melt everything away. What would happen when he eventually unleashed?

“Does he know?” Iris finally asked. “That you have all this inside you?”

“He knows. Everyone knows. I will be the next High Lord.” Eris said quietly. “My power has been brewing for years and everyone can sense it. I have all this rage and all this fire but I’ve had to hold back.” He ran his tongue over his teeth. “His death has always been marked for my mother and until she is ready to get out, we cannot make a move. We endure and play my father’s games…but every now and then, I need to let it out.”

And with those words, the flames flickered out in the room. Iris’s eyes surveyed everything and found...nothing was damaged. Nothing ruined — only a lingering smell of smoke.

Turning back to him, Iris found him staring at her, smoke coming off him in waves at what remained of his rage. He blinked at her, his expression blank as his exhaustion stared back at her. 

“Did I frighten you?” he asked quietly as she watched him. “I’ve shown you quite a bit of my dark side lately.” 

But Iris was not frightened. Not in the least. She felt — she felt seen.

She shook her head and stood carefully, returning the healing ointments to the small table beside them. How did she explain to him that there was nothing frightening about what he said? That all she felt was understood? 

Finding her way back next to him, Iris sat with little space between them and color bloomed on her face when Eris’s eyes dipped to the inch between their bodies. She let her hand slide up and gently, with a tenderness she knew they both needed, let her finger delicately trace his face.

“I’m not afraid,” she said and then let her finger continue to slide up, gently musing the hair she knew he would later mourn. “I am only enraged for you.”

A heartbeat passed then Eris shuddered beneath her touch, a sigh of relief fluttering through the whole room and Iris couldn’t help the urge to lean in and kiss him. She did so tenderly, a caress of a kiss that Eris sighed into.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch her yet, to wrap arms around her when he was still so furious He allowed himself to trace the material of her robe beneath his fingers instead. 

“I told you there was so much to tell you.” Eris said quietly and Iris pulled her hand away to rest in his empty one, the corner of her mouth curling up.

“And I told you I want to know.” she replied. “So tell me.”

Though exhaustion had melted his bones, Eris knew he needed to keep talking. He needed to get this all off his chest. And then he hoped he’d get to spend the rest of the night kissing her. 

Eris forced himself to breathe deeply and slowly rolled his shoulders back, the tightness of his skin as it healed fueling his anger. “My brothers and I excel in pretending to hate each other and pretending we want to kill each other.” Eris glanced at Iris. “We each control a territory and let my father believe what he sees about where our loyalty lies but do what we can to keep our lives moving. The two brothers who tried to kill Lucien after Jesminda were the two that were most like my father. The rest of us were not sorry to see them go.” 

Iris watched him curiously. “Your brothers…they are not as terrible as I’m supposed to believe, are they?”

“I personally think they’re all piles of shit but no, they’re not.” Eris said and the corner of his mouth ticked up at Iris’s expression. “We’re not close but we have an understanding. They’re …trying to survive.”

Iris nodded slowly, her eyes falling to her hands in his and the way his thumb was still caressing her palms. “Do your brothers know about Lucien?”

Eris pursed his lips before answering. “My mother…preferred for everyone’s sake, they stay in the dark about it for as long as possible but they needed to know. We had to be on the same page for her sake. So with her permission, I told them. But the only people in this court who know Lucien is not a Vanserra aside from my parents are my three brothers.” he said and met her gaze. “And now you.”

Iris nodded slowly, a strange sense of pride filling her chest that Eris was sharing with her. That he trusted her when he trusted very few. She felt that strange tug in her ribcage once more.

“Things are never truly what they seem with you Vanserra clan, is it?” she said with a small huff of laughter and Eris couldn’t help but scoff.

“Nothing is ever what it seems,” he said. “Except my father. He’s always been a piece of shit.”

Iris chuckled and she couldn’t quite place the emotions she felt as she watched him. She saw the exhaustion, the heavyweight suffocating him. She hadn’t forgotten when he told her how often he mediated between his parents. How many times he’d had to do it for others as well? How often had he been the one to catch the brunt of his father’s wrath? 

Eris shifted next to her and it made her focus on him once more, his expression tight and she braced herself for whatever he would say next. 

“Lucien’s father is also why he and Elain live in the Day Court.” Eris said slowly. “Courtesy of the High Lord.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “Oh.”

Eris nodded and waited for a heartbeat as it clicked for Iris. 

“Helion?” Iris’s shocked whisper had the corner of Eris’s mouth curl up before it fell once more.

“The High Lord of the Day Court is my brother’s father, yes.” Eris began then swallowed hard before continuing, “He is also…my mother’s mate.”

Iris’s shocked silence filled the room. “Oh gods.”

Everything suddenly made so much sense to Iris. The High Lord’s contempt towards Lady Enya. His reaction whenever Lucien was brought up. 

“Oh gods.” she said again and Eris’s mouth went into a thin line. “How did your father find out?”

“When Lucien was born…no one thought anything of it. He looked like any other baby.” Eris said quietly. “Until one day…he started to glow whenever he laughed. Or whenever he was fussy. It didn’t take my father long to figure it out after that. Everything went downhill from there.” He looked down at their hands. “My mother…she only ever stayed for her sons. So we wouldn’t be left completely at his mercy growing up. And my father knew this. He spared no chance in breaking us all down for her choice.”

“That’s why your father did what he did to Lucien.” Iris said and Eris nodded solemnly.

“Once he knew Lucien wasn’t his, it wasn’t hard for him to differentiate his treatment. He hated looking at him. Hated speaking to him. My father couldn’t outright disown him because it would bring questions and you want the High Lord to admit his wife had an affair? And birthed a son from another High Lord? He would never.” Eris said, scowling. “He knew he could treat my mother the way he does because she broke it off with Helion. For us. For Helion. So there wouldn’t be some kind of crisis between the two courts. She’s been suffering so others won’t.”

Eris swallowed then looked at Iris. “They’re mates.” he whispered. “And he let her go because she chose us. She chose her children. But she always wanted him and he always wanted her.” Eris’s eyes fell down to their joined hands, his shoulders dropping. “He has never stopped loving her. Helion may pretend he hasn’t been waiting for her all these years with his dalliances and carefree attitude but he will always wait for her. Even when he doesn't want to.”

Iris’s heart broke for Lady Enya and for the High Lord she didn’t know. It broke for the son who knew everything and had to watch his mother fade away and his father become a monster.

“That must’ve been so hard for your mother.” she said quietly. “After all these years…” Iris shook her head. “When did Lucien find out? And Helion?”

“A few years ago.” Eris continued with a sigh. “After the war, something…something in my mother changed. Maybe it was the war or maybe her capacity of dealing with my father had finally reached its limits or maybe she realized her sons had only suffered watching her suffer and she was done waiting but…” He shook his head. “I saw a small spark of who she was return and she decided she wanted Lucien to know.”

Iris scrunched up her nose then shook her head.“I’m sure that went well.” 

“Considering I had to be the one to tell him because he wouldn’t set foot here? It went great.” Eris said with a snort so like his usual self that Iris couldn't help the small smile. “My mother wrote him a letter. And I had to watch Lucien have a fucken meltdown once he read it.”

Iris shook her head again. “You can’t blame him, Eris. He endured all that he did with a piece of shit that wasn’t even his father.” she said and squeezed Eris’s hand. “Who knows what kind of life he would’ve had if he had known about Helion sooner. I’m sure it was hard for you both.”

“It wasn’t as hard as the time I had to be the one to tell Helion.” 

Iris’s brows went up but she held off on saying a word as Eris’s shoulder tensed again. He had been sharing with her so easily, so openly, she didn’t want to say anything to have him shut down. 

“What happened?” she asked quietly and Eris sighed.

“I told you how my mother started to…come back to us.” Eris said and Iris nodded. “Well. Lucien wasn’t the only one she wrote a letter to.”

Eris shifted, running a hand through his hair while his other hand stayed wrapped in hers. “I didn’t read it, of course, but I know she told him. And I know she told Lucien that she’d let Helion know but it was up to the two of them to connect if they wanted to,” he said quietly. “She hoped they would but didn’t want to push it. She felt awful enough to have hidden it all these years and then to not be able to tell them herself…” Eris fell silent with a grimace. His mother’s face had rarely been dry from how often she cried those days.  

“How did Helion take it?” Iris asked softly.

“I have never seen someone breakdown the way the High Lord of Day did that day.” Eris shook his head again with a frown. “I think he was already at a breaking point and that was a final straw. It was messy. For Lucien. For Helion. For my mother.” he said. “There was a lot of resentment. A lot of anger. A lot of hurt. Especially because my mother can’t speak to either of them in person…she dropped this tragic surprise on them and essentially put them in a position to deal with it without her.” Eris waved a hand. “Even if it’s not by choice, it…was hard for everyone.”

“Including you, I’m sure,” she said and squeezed his hand again. “Being the in-between.”

“I was more worried my father would find out again. What would he do to her this time if he found out she’d reached out to the one male she never stopped loving?” he said quietly then shrugged with a deep sigh. “But they have a code. She writes him letters and he replies.” 

Iris felt emotion swell in her at the Lady of Autumn and the love she never stopped holding on to. “The letters she writes to Lucien include a letter for Helion, don’t they?”

Eris let out a harsh laugh. “It’s reckless after all these years but...I see her face every time she hands me a letter and whenever he sends one back. I’ve watched her wait and suffer for all these years so she could find her way back to herself. And Helion…” His expression was tight as he continued. “He would worship the ground she walks on. He would give her everything that she’s ever wanted and a life that she deserves but we have had to watch her stay here because of us. We had to watch her die little by little each year and could do nothing.” His voice broke at the final word and Eris forced himself to swallow before continuing. “He is a better male than I could ever be. Because if my mate was suffering the way my mother has, I wouldn’t have left a person alive. I would’ve razed the whole fucken continent. I don’t know how he did it. How he still does it after they’ve reconnected.”

It took a moment for Eris to be able to continue. He sighed. “Helion has always been respectful of her choice. Even when he resented it. Even when he hated it.” he said. “Their bond…I don’t think it was ever really rejected because deep down, neither of them wanted that. I think it’s just been strained all these years.”

“And now here they are…” Iris mused quietly, her mind drifting to the conversation she had with Elain earlier. “A mating bond so strong even years apart couldn’t diminish how right it is. It’s a beautiful thing for those lucky enough to find it.”

Eris tensed at her words, his heart skipping a beat. Would she still feel this way about him when he told her? Would she consider herself lucky knowing the kind of shit he had to deal with? He rubbed a trembling hand over his face and continued. 

“My mother is ready to leave. I’m just waiting on when,” he murmured. “I’ve been helping her reconnect with her magic and it’s making her stronger, but it’s been hard when she’s so fucken terrified of it.” Iris squeezed his hand and he offered her a thin smile. “She’s been always scared to leave us but my brothers and I can handle the fallout now. We couldn’t before but we will now. We want her to get the fuck out of here. We’ve had enough and she’s most definitely had enough.”

“And you’re all…fine with her going to the Day Court?” Iris asked quietly.

“Yes. A part of me will always resent Helion the way I sometimes resent my mother for all these years of having to deal with this. Even if the fault ultimately always lies with my father.” Eris said tightly. “This could end very badly but once Helion claims her publicly as his mate, my father will have to let her go.”

“Will he, though?” Iris asked, unease creeping in her chest. “What if he invokes the Blood Duel?”

Iris felt the shift in his mood at her question and watched him carefully as he slid his hand from hers and stood. His shoulders tensed even further and all at once, Iris felt the room heat up once more and her stomach dropped as he ran both hands through his hair, his breathing turning shallow again.

“He won’t have a fucken choice. A mating bond trumps everything else.” he growled softly. “But if Beron invokes the blood duel, I can promise that it will only end in agony for him. I will do everything I can to ensure it, even if means handing Helion the spear to plant in his chest myself. I will do anything. Anything to have him gone and be rid of this misery. I just need him gone without trying to take my mother with him.”

“You said your mother wants the killing blow.” Iris said carefully and she saw his fists clench. “Will that…be possible?”

“She will be ready for it regardless, but we will have to see how the events unfold.” he said in a strained voice. “Helion has enough pent-up rage in him towards my father that I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed him with one well-aimed blow.”

Iris opened her mouth but Eris resumed pacing with another shake of his head and continued.

“Elain’s visions keep telling me that pieces are moving and all we can do is be prepared for whatever is coming next,” he said. “The problem is there are too many things out of my control. There are too many pieces on the fucken chess board and I am — I am going to lose my fucken mind if things keep piling up.” 

Iris watched as he took another breath and fisted then flexed his hands. “You don’t have to handle all this alone.” she said and stood, watching the grimace he made at her words. “You can’t stay like this when you have people willing to help you.”

“The more people that help me, the more people get hurt.” Eris snapped and Iris frowned at his tone as he kept pacing. “I can’t — I can’t keep letting that happen.”

“Eris,” she chided gently. “You can’t stop —”

But Eris let out a snarl and Iris blinked to find him aflame once more.

“Don’t.” he said. “I can’t stop because the next person that he’ll hurt if I let one thing slip is you and that will bring hell upon us all.” His snarl shook the room and Iris felt herself tense. “Because if my father touches you. If he so much as looks at you wrong, I will kill him and probably get killed in the process and then everything we’ve been enduring for years will go up in flames from my stupidity.”

Iris’s face flushed. The anger and shame she had felt earlier had found its way again and the feeling seeped down her body as he stood across from her. “I’m not asking you to kill your father for me, Eris. I’m asking you to ease some of the things you’re carrying so you don’t keep doing this to yourself.” she snapped. “You’re lashing out at me right now while all I’m trying to do is understand what happened with you and find a way to help.” 

Eris was breathing hard once more and she braced herself as he walked over to her, his body burning. His hand curled around the nape of her neck and he pulled her flush against him. “I know you’re trying to understand and I’m trying to help you understand how fucked up this all is and how much I have hated every single thing about myself and my life for the longest time. That I have always been a thing my father uses to punish everyone for everything because I can’t stomach him doing it to anyone else.” He took a breath as Iris placed a hand gently on his chest, blinking rapidly. “The only reason my father isn’t dead yet is because I need to make sure it’s a fight I can win. Because if I die, then everyone else is left dealing with him. My mother. My brothers. You.”

His grip tightened on her as he continued, his tone almost frantic. “I’m telling you all these things so you understand that I am fucked terrified of what comes next because things have changed for me and the stakes are even higher and now I am a thing that has someone to leave behind. Someone who will be brutally hurt just because you’re linked to me in a way no one else will ever be.” he said as his wild eyes locked on her wide ones. “I have laid down everything at your feet. All of my armor. Everything that I am and you want to know why? You asked me what changed earlier. What happened to me.”

“Eris, you need to breathe,” she said even as her heart rate went wild, a hand clenching his arm. “I want you to tell me but I need you to breathe.”

But Eris shook his head and before Iris could open her mouth to say anything else, his expression fell and the grip on the back of her neck tightened once more. “You.” his whisper broken and his eyes watched her wildly, wrapping her in his arm as his flame licked every inch of her. He held her to him tightly, as if afraid she would disappear and slip through his trembling fingers. “You. You. Tell me you see it. Tell me you fucken feel it.”

Iris stared at him. She stared and stared and stared and that feeling, that tug she had felt in her ribcage earlier, seemed to intensify. What he was saying — what he was insinuating. It had crossed her mind only briefly, for one hopeful moment earlier, and yet — here he was, saying — he was saying —

Something had been different since that kiss. Something had been different about him since the moment she met him. 

“I — I felt you.” Iris found herself saying then swallowed. “When you were gone and took long. I don’t know how else to describe it but…I felt you.”

“You did?” he asked, nodding. “And what did it feel like?”

“A tug.” she said slowly. “Right in my ribcage. I feel it right now.”

Eris laughed a hollow laugh as he watched her beautiful face, her expression shifting as her mind processed what he was saying. 

And Iris blinked. “I kissed you.”

“You did.”

“And everything — it felt so right.”

“You said things were always intense between us.” he said quickly. “That we couldn’t fight the pull we felt towards each other despite the way our relationship started.”

“Yes.”

“You kissed me.” he said almost desperately. “And every single thing in my life suddenly made sense. Every part of me made of stone suddenly became covered in you. Like ivy, wrapping its way around me whether I liked it or not. It was something I had never thought would be mine or something I deserved and yet somehow, this is happening. This is real.” 

Iris felt her body start to tremble at his words, the feeling inside her chest unfurling as every moment they had shared together flashed through her mind. Nothing about their relationship had made sense and yet, the two of them seemed to have been destined to find each other. Everything about them, Eris and Iris, fit together like puzzle pieces they hadn’t known were missing. She hadn’t been able to stop him from planting roots within every part of her mind and body, long before she realized what was happening — even when she had wanted nothing to do with him. 

He had always been hers and she, his.

Iris stared into his eyes, watching the hope mingle with the desperation he felt, and her hands slacked at her sides. She had spent her life adrift. Alone. She had spent her life barely mattering to anyone at all. Forgotten. And now, in a twist of fate, Iris had found something she hadn’t realized she was even worthy of.

Eris Vanserra had appeared in her life and what she had assumed would be a walk to the gallows, a nightmare like the one he had just returned from, was anything but. He was anything but.

He was her beginning, her middle, and would be her forever. 

They had both been lost only to be found within one another, the red string of fate guiding their path. 

“This is real.” she finally said and Eris nodded, his gaze never leaving hers.

“This is fucken real.” he said hoarsely. “This is very fucken real.”

Every glance. Every touch. Every moment that had angered her and made her laugh. Every moment that had made her feel. It had all been leading her here. 

It had been leading her home. 

Iris took a sharp breath and finally whispered the words, “You’re — you’re my mate.”

[eris-sol]

hehe selfship go brrr

[godinvent]

Thelma Milas, Protector of chaos, strife, discord, war and courage!

My first full drawing in months! This took like 4+ hours to make and I'm so happy with how it came out! I want to be less safe with my art now and really go all out this summer!

Oc belongs to my friend @atlasventuresblog for my story Protector!

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones - III

Genre: Angst/Romance Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.

biggest shoutout to @abruisedmuse ♥️ for keeping me sane while writing! ily.

Tagging: @sabrinaacarpenters | @vanserrass | @climb-the-mountian | @positivewitch | @helion-ism | @readthelastpaage | @sarions | @zenkindoflove | @animezinglife | @eastofatlanta | @carolynmezzosoprano | @carnythian | @runningwiththeoceans | @secret-third-thing | @readychilledwine | @clockwork-ashes | @goldenmagnolias | @mali22 | @maidr-00 | @electromagnetic-waves | @thedarkinmansfield | @theeternalstruggle | @devilsfoodcake22 | @the-midnightwriter | @spinachtz | @elizab3th-grace | @ladystarrynight | @highlady-fireheart | @that-golden-lyre | @krem-does-stuff | @lovedbyth3sun | @moonfawnx | @illyrianshadowhunter | @foxybananaaaz | @weesablackbeak | @ladywhilemia | @moobell55 | @alohaangels | @bibliophiliaxvignette | @easchies | @this-is-rochelle |

Find it all here.

Eris immediately knew he had made a mistake when he stood behind her, his hands inches away from her hair. He had been itching to touch her, especially when she kept getting angry with him. He could almost see her driving his own dagger into his throat and in a way his mother would be very concerned, it thrilled him.

He'd always known whoever he'd marry would be his father’s choice and naturally, had expected a snake of a wife, one that wanted his power and influence. He hadn’t expected to find one that mirrored his own survival instinct. 

 “May I?” he finally asked quietly and again, the air between them seemed to go taut. He watched Iris swallow through the mirror, saw her eyes dip for a moment to the dagger in her hand before looking up back at him, and then she nodded. 

Eris paused, even with her permission. Touching her hair seemed to feel too intimate for them. Just being in the same room like this seemed too intimate and Eris had barely touched her. 

Hesitantly, and much more gently than Iris seemed to anticipate, he began pulling out the pins that had been out of her reach and placed them on the vanity in front of her. 

Typically...typically his hand was fisted in a female’s hair. To be pulled. Yanked.  Rarely, if ever, had he touched gently, and it slightly unnerved him to feel so starved that he was reduced to touching her hair so tenderly like an absolute idiot. 

“A question for a question.” she said, breaking the silence, and his lip quirked. 

“A question for a question.”

“You said you were ordered to get married…” Iris began, and Eris’s fingers halted for a fleeting second before continuing. “Why couldn’t you choose your bride? Or say no?” 

Eris hummed softly. How was one to describe the tyrant of a father he had? The one person he fantasized about murdering each day? 

“My father...runs a very tight ruling in our court and household. As I’m sure you’ve heard,” he said quietly, his eyes solely focused on each hair strand that fell loose. “You do as you are told unless you can convince him otherwise. My reasons weren’t convincing enough. I’ve only ever disobeyed my father once and paid dearly for it.”

“What did you disobey him about?” she asked, and Eris tried not to pause again, his eyes hyper-focused on the slight pout in her frown, her furrowed eyebrows. 

 “Ah, ah. My question now.” he replied, tugging on a loose strand of hair gently, and chuckled when Iris scowled. She gestured with her hand for him to continue. 

“How did you learn to defend yourself?”

She was quiet for a moment and Eris watched her in the mirror with curiosity. “I used to sneak in and watch my father’s guard train. I’d wait until my father was out on business and then practice.” 

“By yourself?”

“...With a friend.”

“Oh?”

 Iris rolled her eyes though her cheeks had colored slightly. “I exchanged a few kisses and touches for a sparring partner. It helped me.” 

Eris felt heat coil in the pit of his stomach, a flicker of simmering anger he had no business feeling. “Did he...take advantage of you?”

Iris quirked her brow. “That’s three questions to my one.”  

“But did he?”

“Why do you care?”

Indeed. Why did he care? It wasn’t as though he could do anything about it now if the male had taken advantage of her. 

But then Mor flashed in his mind and Eris frowned. He had paid dearly for pretending he hadn’t cared about her in that moment of weakness. This, here, shouldn’t matter to him. Yet, he asked once more.

“Did he?”

Pursing her lips, Iris sighed. “No. I enjoyed the attention and allowed it. We didn’t get too far anyway. My father found out and banished him then beat me.” she explained, and Eris could see right through the nonchalant shrug she gave. “I wasn’t allowed to shame him by fucking the middle class. I was being saved for a prince.”

She gave him a sarcastic smile here and Eris tried not to smirk. “Thank you, wife. I’ll gladly take the burden of your maidenhood off your hands as soon as we get you out of this dress.”

“Please go toss yourself out of the highest window.”

“I can’t. I must insist on only dying by your hands.”

“Then death is near, husband.”

Eris chuckled, fingers stilling again as he pulled the last pin, watching as her hair cascaded down her back, desperately trying not to think about the feel of it between his fingers. “I’d believe you except you still need help with your dress.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “Once you’re dead, I’ll just tear it off, it’s fine.” she replied, watching his hands still inches away from her hair. “I’ll be a widow. They’ll think I ripped it apart in my grief.”

“Not that I ravished you and then died of bliss?”

Shooting him a glare, she held up the dagger. “Answer my questions. You owe me three.”

Eris rolled his eyes but with one final glance at her hair, he moved away, leaning against the vanity and faced her.

“To answer your earlier question, you must have heard about my brother Lucien and his former lover?”

Iris nodded solemnly. Everyone had heard about that. It was one of the many reasons everyone hated Beron.

“Well, I refused to participate and warned Tamlin about Lucien. Naturally, my father did not appreciate the disobedience,” he said, and Iris sat back in her chair, dagger still in hand.

“Is that why he didn’t come to the wedding?” 

“My father’s death will be the only reason Lucien would come here willingly,” he replied with a snort, crossing his arms. “He and his mate have invited us over for lunch whenever you’re up for it. You can meet them then.”

“Assuming I don’t slit your throat in your sleep, of course?” she said with a pleasant smile and Eris chuckled.

“Of course.” he replied with a gracious nod of his head. “Now answer my questions, wife. Tell me about your father.” he requested.

Iris pursed her lips, a finger stroking the edge of the blade. “My father...as charming as he claims to be with everyone outside of my household...Lord Aron thrives on control.” she began, running her free hand through her loose hair. “My mother’s death was not in his control. Having me was not in his control.” Iris met his gaze. “When my mother died giving birth...He loved her in his twisted way more than he wanted me so naturally, I was the worst thing that happened to him. Especially when he wanted a son.” 

“So, I assume he raised you with all the love he knew your mother would want you to have?” Eris said and the corner of Iris’s mouth curved up at the sarcasm. 

“Oh yes.” she said quietly, and her expression tightened. “Your back…?’ 

Eris waved a hand. “Gifts.” 

“But...why?” she asked quietly, her eyes locked on his. 

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I asked first.” 

Eris’s lips went into a thin line and he rubbed a finger to it, debating how honest he should be with her. Judging by the hardened look in her eyes, it felt pointless to deny it.

“They weren’t all meant to be mine, but I got in the way often enough.” he said quietly and at the way her face fell, he knew she was aware of who he meant. He watched her throat bob.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Iris replied and pushed the chair back, standing. “Help me with my dress. I’m tired.” 

Eris cocked his head and blinked. “Why?” 

“Why what?” she asked wearily, looking over her shoulder at him before facing the mirror and Eris frowned, unsure how to ask her to continue.

Why was he asking? He knew his family was miserable. Her life had clearly been the same. It didn’t help that his mother taking the brunt of his father’s abuse seemed to mirror the fear she likely had for herself with him. His frown deepened and Eris flexed his fingers. All these years with his parents had only solidified his stance to never harm a female. The only black spot on his record was Mor and the real story will always stay between the two of them until Mor decided otherwise. 

“Never mind.” he finally said and attempted his previous bravado. “It’s time to unwrap you, wife.” 

Iris narrowed her eyes at him through the mirror and slowly held up the dagger again. “One wrong move, Vanserra.” 

He chuckled, though it had lost some of its mirth. “I’ll behave.” 

With her eyes still locked on his, Iris moved her hair to the side and said nothing, though Eris noticed the tension had returned to her body. He glanced at her for just a brief moment then his gaze fell to her back and the ties holding her dress together. The white gown she wore hugged her figure snuggly — beautifully, and Eris appreciated the chance to admire it again.

Slowly, carefully, his hand found its way to the top and his fingers gently pulled on the knotted ties. 

He hesitated then.  

Eris knew he shouldn’t be nervous to help her with her dress. He had taken dresses off the bodies of many beautiful females in his life. This should be nothing. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly, and he looked up, meeting her eyes briefly before bringing it back to the dress.

“Nothing.” was all he said and focused on the ties. Carefully, he slipped his fingers beneath each ribbon tying the top together, and pulled to loosen them. Eris felt her stiffening as he made contact with her back, a small breath escaping her lips and he froze, meeting her gaze again in the mirror. Iris flushed and Eris’s eyes zeroed in on the bob of her throat. He lifted a brow and spoke softly, “May I continue?”

Iris looked away from him but nodded all the same and it took Eris a moment to tear his gaze from the flush of her cheeks and back to the dress. If this was the only time he was going to touch her for a while...it seemed wise for him to take his time. Wise to drink in the sight of the soft curls of her hair that fell to the side, the exposed long neck. It was the most skin he was seeing of hers and oh...the flush of color against her olive skin ignited a feeling of longing in him. 

A longing for something normal. 

Leave it to his father to find him a breathtaking wife who wanted nothing to do with him. 

Working at an even slower pace, Eris slipped one finger at a time between each ribbon of the corset and pulled gently, Iris backing into him with each tug.

“Don’t yank.” she said, a slight breathlessness to her words as she pulled away slightly, finally letting go of the dagger and bracing her hands on the vanity. “You’ll ruin it.”

“You have no idea how badly I want to, wife.” he replied softly and pulled the last ribbon treacherously slowly. Much to his agonizing dismay, she wasn’t wearing anything under it. 

Eris took in the bare skin that the dress exposed, from the top of her back down to the dip and he wondered if she could hear the pounding of his heart, and feel the heat of his gaze on her lovely skin – no scar in sight, unlike his own. Before Eris could stop himself, his fingers traveled down the bareness of her back and a shock zipped through his body.  

He heard her gasp and whip around, holding her hands across her chest to keep her dress from slipping and stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Don’t.” she whispered to him, but Eris could only stare at her. He stared and slowly leaned in closer, letting his hands settle on the vanity she was leaning against, caged between his arms. 

They silently stared at one another, a different kind of tension between them now.  

Eris stared, his expression stoic as he drank in every one of her features. The sharp cheekbones, the lovely nose, her parted lips. His eyes fell to the now exposed collarbones and he had to clamp down on the sudden urge to lean in closer and lick them. 

His amber eyes found her hazel ones, reading the mistrust in them, the hesitation — but he could only think of one thing to say. 

In the softest of murmurs, he spoke, “I don’t think I was given the chance to tell you how beautiful you are, Iris.”

Iris blinked and her flush deepened as she frowned slightly. “Thank you. You can back away now.” she replied and the corner of his mouth quirked up, leaning in even closer.

“But I would prefer not to.” he whispered, and Eris regretted standing there shirtless, positive she could see the goosebumps on his flesh that matched the ones on her skin.

“I don’t really care.” she whispered in return and Eris tilted his head in amusement, the space between their lips even closer. 

“But wife?” his voice still soft, barely above a whisper and Iris clenched her jaw, roses blooming on her cheeks.

“What?”

“I would really like to kiss you.” he requested, and was mesmerized watching the changes in her expression. The widening of her eyes in surprise, the attraction she seemed to be fighting, and lastly, when her expression hardened.

“No.” 

“No?”

"No.”

 Eris hummed in thought, unsure if he could hold back his smirk as she shifted between his arms. “Why?” he asked, the question practically a whine. “We are married after all.” 

Iris met his gaze, her eyes flicking to his lips for a second before she looked at him again. “You’ll only end up wanting more.” she replied quietly. 

“And is that so wrong?” he asked, his hand coming up to gently brush her hair behind her ear but froze when she flinched. 

His eyes narrowed, his hand midair as Iris flushed, glaring at him.  

Firmly, and not breaking his gaze, Iris lowered his hand to his side and held it there. “Don’t.” she repeated, and Eris pursed his lips. 

“Are you afraid of me, little gazelle?”

“Trust isn’t so easily earned.” 

And the two stared at each other, seizing each other up for what felt like the millionth time that evening. They shared a heated gaze, her hand still on his.

“I’m sure a kiss could persuade you to change your mind.” Eris proposed and leaned even closer to her.

 “You seem desperate, husband.” she replied and against every instinct, leaned closer to him as well. “The scent of your lust is filling the room.”

“You should be flattered.”

“I’m disgusted.” 

“The flush of your cheeks tells me you’re a liar.”

Iris rolled her eyes and finally shoved him away as Eris chuckled. “I am flushed in anger. Don’t think so highly of yourself. I’ve only known you for a few hours and you’re very annoying.”

“Why thank you, darling wife.” he said, and he only allowed himself a small smile before turning to watch her walking towards the closet. “Do you need additional help?” 

“No. I need something to sleep in.” she replied, a hand still holding up her dress, the other opening the closet door.  

“Oh, I took the liberty of choosing something for you to sleep in.” Eris said, running a hand through his hair, watching her. “It’s on the bed.”

His lips twitched slightly as Iris’s gaze moved to the bed and she blinked in confusion.

“There’s... nothing there.” she said, squinting at him and Eris waved a hand.

“Nothing will look fantastic on you.”

Her expression flattened and Iris looked to the dagger still on the vanity, far away from her and Eris grinned when she settled on flipping him off with a glare. “Go fuck yourself.” 

“I’d much rather fuck you, wife.” he said with a chuckle, and Iris’s glare intensified.  

“Keep dreaming, asshole.” 

“The tension between us will need an outlet, my dear Iris. Especially if this is our first night together.” Eris said with an exaggerated, long-suffering sigh. “I can’t imagine how much worse it’ll get the more we spend time together.”

“There’s nothing to imagine.” she growled. “Except sweet, sweet death.”  

“We can fuck this once and get it out of our systems. You can go back to hating me afterward,” he suggested, and Iris only glared at him once more before turning to the closet and rummaging through it. “No sense in denying it, hm?”

It took her a full moment of silence with Eris smirking at her back before Iris closed the closet door, sleeping clothes in hand. 

“Running a sword through your body will ease this tension you’re feeling.” 

“I’d rather we kissed aggressively.”

“If you keep this up, I’m going to make sure you die in the most embarrassing way possible.” 

“You mean when you murder me?” Eris said with a smile. 

“Yes.  When I murder you.” she confirmed. 

“You have your work cut out for you then. I’m embarrassed by very little.” 

Iris squinted at him then looked down at the clothes in her hand, her fingers rubbing the fabric gently. He watched her look at him, bite her lip, then look away and Eris’s whole body straightened. Slowly, Iris placed the sleeping set she chose for herself on the table closest to her and walked towards him. Eris focused on each step she took and then held his breath when she stopped in front of him. 

“Are you sure?” she said softly and very suddenly, she was closer to him than she had been all night, the weight of her body pressing into him.

“Am I sure about what?” he asked quietly, his hands flexing at his sides. Should he touch her? Or would it scare her away? She had said don’t.

“That it would be difficult for me to embarrass you?” she asked, finally letting go of her dress, bringing her hand so her fingers gently grazed his shoulder. Eris’s eyes zeroed in on the dip in her dress that had exposed the top of her cleavage.

“Hm?” he said stupidly, his eyes back on her face to find her smiling coyly at him and Eris blinked, fully aware of what she was doing. Of how her fingers were now slowly trailing down his chest and back up.

“Do you think,” she began and leaned close to his ear, her hand resting over his heart. “It would be embarrassing for you to die while at attention? Just before a release?”

Eris blinked. “What —”

Her hand went up and she flicked him as hard as possible right on the forehead. “Because I will have you so worked up, two seconds away from an orgasm thinking you’ve earned me, then stab you in the heart and leave you to bleed out if you don’t stop making inappropriate jokes. Keep pushing your limits with me, I dare you.”

Eris blinked rapidly, his hand coming up to touch the stinging on his forehead.

“Did you just...flick me? Like a child?”

“Didn’t know if your pretty face could handle a good smack, husband.” Iris replied, flipping him off once more then stomped away from him, grabbed her change of clothes, and slammed the bathroom door behind her. 

It took Eris a moment to realize that indeed, he now had a hard-on and a small laugh huffed out of him. Rubbing his forehead, he slowly walked to the bed and sat down, letting out another little laugh. 

This whole day had felt like he’d been dunked into a bucket of water repeatedly and then thrown into a pit of darkness. He felt disoriented with how quickly everything had changed and whiplash from his conversation with Iris. He was unclear of where they stood now. Where did he stand with her?

Eris thought back to the feeling of her between his arms, when she was only inches away from kissing him. He thought back to her flushed cheeks, the intake of breath when his hands had touched her back, her glares. 

He grinned broadly. Maybe being married wouldn’t be so bad. It was clear she didn’t really hate him. She was more worried for her safety. 

His smile immediately dimmed at that, remembering how she flinched when he wanted to touch her hair. 

He sighed then quickly stripped the bottoms he was wearing, changing into sleeping pants. Though he typically preferred to sleep in undershorts or completely nude, Eris had a feeling Iris would actually kill him if he wasn’t decent. Just as he finished hanging up his dress clothes, the bathroom door opened and his head snapped to her side, meeting her eyes. 

And oh. 

She was wearing sleeping pants and a shirt that was twice her size — meant for him. 

He raised a brow with a small smile. “Those...are mine, aren’t they?” 

Iris blinked at him then shrugged, walking to the vanity and grabbing the dagger. She pointedly ignored him as she walked past him.

“What’s yours is mine, is it not, husband dear?”

Eris smirked. “No lingerie for me then?”

“Knock yourself out if you’d like to wear some.” 

“You want to see me in lingerie, wife?”

“I’d much rather die.”

He chuckled and shook his head, watching her make her way to their shared bed, not wanting to think about her in lacy nothings. “Hm. I still think nothing would look best on you.”

Iris pointed the dagger threateningly at him. “My patience with you is wearing thin.”

And just like that, his new wife had climbed into their bed. 

It took Eris a few seconds to realize what she was doing as she crawled on the bed, as the first image of her on her knees had taken him down a very indecent road. He could only watch in amused silence as Iris started stacking pillows down the length of the bed between them. Iris only narrowed her eyes at him, as if daring him to laugh before turning to her side and laying down, the dagger sliding underneath her pillow. 

As if pillows would stop him if he chose to be a monster.

But he wouldn’t.

Eris frowned as he climbed onto his side of the bed and lay flat on his back, an arm under his head. He let a few moments of silence pass between them before he finally spoke. 

“Iris?”

He felt her shuffle and a few seconds passed before she replied.

“Eris.” 

“Tomorrow, we both have roles to play,” he began quietly and felt her still. “Everyone will be expecting it.”

“And what roles will that be?”  

“You, the shy new wife that had the life fucked out of her and is embarrassed that people know.” he continued, “Me, the sated husband who fucked the life out of you and got what’s mine.”

Iris shot up and glared at him over the pillow barricade. “The conqueror and the conquest, hm?” She spat, repulsed.

Eris sat up with an eye roll. “That’s what they’ll be expecting to see and I for one, live to meet expectations.”

“You’re disgusting.” 

“Not as disgusting as they’ll be expecting me to be with you.” he said with a scoff. “You’re lucky they stopped checking if couples consummated marriages the morning after.”

Iris frowned and looked away from him, her fingers fiddling with the edge of his shirt that covered her body. “It doesn’t have to be that way and you know it.” 

Eris was quiet for a moment. “No, it doesn’t but…it is in our best interest to play by the expectations so that no one looks too closely at us.” 

Iris tilted her head, her mouth a thin line. “Your father.” 

“And yours.” he said pointedly, and Iris swallowed.  

“But...I don’t want to be seen that way. I want to be me.”

“Unless you want them saying I fucked some confidence in you, you can’t change who they want to see overnight.” 

“Gods.” she scoffed. “Just taking all the credit for it, aren’t you?” 

He gave her a small smile. “I aim to please.”

Iris pursed her lips then scowled, shooting him a look full of disdain. “I could also seem disappointed which will clearly indicate you couldn’t perform, and your little wife was left unsatisfied.” 

Eris barked a laugh and lay back down on his back. “Oh wife, you are a funny one.” he said and felt her plop down on her side. “No one will believe that.” 

“My disappointment will be authentic enough, no one would doubt it.” She begrudgingly replied. 

Eris rolled his eyes. “You really sure you don’t want to just fuck this out? I’m sure we’ll feel better afterward and that way we’ll start off our marriage honestly.”

“One more word on this and you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“I am the firstborn son of a high lord.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“I’d be happy to. Just bend over, wife.”

She only raised her hand to flip him off and Eris chuckled. 

He waited a few more minutes in silence, listening to the slight shifting of her feet and the thundering of her heart. Despite her words, she still seemed to be nervous. A part of him couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t want to be married to him either. 

He lifted himself on his elbows to peer at her over the pillow barricade between them and found her curled up on her side, her back facing him. 

And suddenly he found himself nervous.

“If it wasn’t clear before, I want to make it clear again,” he began, and she turned slightly to meet his eyes over her shoulder. “I have no intentions of hurting you. I don’t want this marriage to be miserable. Even if it’s what everyone’s expecting.”

She looked away from him for a moment then looked back at him once more. “Even with all the things you’ve said earlier?” 

“I consider it my civic duty to tease my wife.” he said and felt her eyes roll. “Among other things.” 

“Other things?” 

“I could also be your friend.” he found himself saying quietly, the tips of his ears heating as Iris flushed and turned away quickly. Eris felt his whole body burst into flame, his face flushing as he slumped back into the mattress, embarrassment coursing through him. 

He had threatened her. Tried to kiss her. Clearly would love to fuck her. And then like a complete and utter imbecile tells her he wants to be her friend. He suddenly felt blessed his bride was picked for him instead of attempting to woo anyone. He used to have some game.

Eris only stopped debating whether he should set himself on fire and be done with the misery he was feeling when Iris spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know if I can be your friend.” she said.

Eris paused. “Why not?”

“I’m still fantasizing about choking you.” 

“Mm. That’s a shame,” he replied, the corner of his mouth lifting at the absurd response. “I’m still fantasizing about kissing you.”

A moment of silence passed, and Eris turned his head slightly to find that Iris had sat up, her eyes peeking over the pillow barricade and she quietly said, “A question for a question.”

Eris sat up on his elbows again. “A question for a question.” 

She paused again, seemingly weighing her question then bit her lip. “Will you...would you ever force me? If I didn’t want to?” 

“Never.” he immediately responded. “I have no intention of being the monster people seem to think I am.”

He felt her relief sweep through the room and a bitterness curled in his stomach as he dropped back on his back and Iris hid back on her side. Why hadn’t he thought of a moment like this? Where his wife would think he was a piece of shit big enough to torture her in that way? 

“What’s your question then?” her voice carried over to him and Eris realized then, that he wanted whatever this was between them to work out. 

There was no need for it to be awful. They could make it work…right?

With his gaze locked on the ceiling, he swallowed and then quietly said, “Do you think you would eventually be willing to be my friend?”

And the difference in their questions struck him then. She wanted to feel safe. He wanted a companion. He glared at the ceiling as embarrassment washed over him again, threatening to drown him at how stupidly vulnerable he let himself be with her.

A stranger. Yet, not.

He waited for her to say something and when a few moments passed and she hadn’t, he sighed softly. Eris had almost drifted off to sleep when he heard her mumble a response.

“Maybe.”

He blinked sleepily and lifted himself on his elbows to peer at her over the pillow barricade between them one last time. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.”

Eris lay back and his eyes fell on the ceiling again. The atmosphere was still a little tense, but it had dampened down, not quite as suffocating. 

Maybe was good. They’d only know each other for a few hours. Eris found maybe to be very, very reasonable. 

“Goodnight, Iris.” he whispered then, hoping the night carried his wishes in the words.

A heartbeat later, the night breeze carried back Iris’s. 

“Goodnight, Eris.”

[selena-nightroll]

Aggie sketches!!

[trixibebe]

oc stuff ~ Besties!!

[vvitchhazl]

I made a guy you guys might enjoy. his name is Eris (gender ambiguous he/him) and he's a primordial god who is dramatic and colourful and would have definitely use neocities and Myspace. nongif vers for less eye strain....