#odd note: why does this not say “this SPELL has flash” like every other card that sometimes has flash?

[magicwurms]

Howdy, it's been a while! As soon as I saw this beautiful Filip Burburan piece (artist of four wurm cards!) I was looking forward to seeing what this card did. I'm shocked it isn't a common (it's our first rare wurm in Standard since Brother's War, two years ago), but I'm equally shocked at the raw efficiency of this monster!

It is nicely keeping in tradition with Colossal creatures all having exclusively 5s and/or 6s in their stat boxes though, appreciated.

It feels a tad odd that this doesn't fit the bill of a "rattlesnake card" (card that sits around as a known quantity waiting for an opponent to do something threatening that prompts it to pounce) but flash feels appropriate. If this somehow ends out the bane of a format then I guess "leaving four green open" could be rattlesnakey enough (I'll eat my cowboy hat if that happens though yeeeeehawwww)

Ramping from the 'yard is nice too, and honestly makes this a decent fit for my Wurm commander deck, provided I can find enough Deserts that are any good...

[harryspet]

little doe [4] peter parker

[Warnings] peter parker x named oc, mj fluff, a/b/o dynamic, dd lg dynamic, broken english, oral sex (male recieving), angst 

A/N: I’ve been getting so much LOVE for this story and I appreciate it so much! I hope I can continue to please you guys with a few more chapters to this series.

In which chaos runs through the Parker household.  

Like, reblog and let me know what you think!

word count: 2.8k

As MJ entered Peter’s apartment, she descended upon complete chaos. Something smelt like it was burning coming from the kitchen, she followed a trail of smoke to find a burning pot of soup that had turned black, “Peter!” She called but received no answer. MJ turned off the stove before walking into the living room. MJ had to watch her every step, there were random items strewn everywhere around the apartment, and she had to dust lucky charm marshmallow off the bottom of her shoes. 

The living room was the worst of them all, everything was  out of place, the couch was shredded in a few places, curtains off the rods, and everything torn off the shelves, “Doe?” MJ found the girl sitting in the corner, facing the wall, hands in her face, “Why are you in the corner?” 

Doe turned her head, her face in a pout, and MJ noticed the mess her hair was and also the fact that there were red and blue markings on her hands, “Bad girl! Stay here! Don’t move!” She mimicked Peter’s voice and MJ noted that the girl was only wearing one of his t-shirts. 

Peter’s words were echoing over and over again in Doe’s mind. She felt miserable. 

“Why on earth would he say that?” MJ wondered what the hell had happened in the last week that she hadn’t been there. Peter had called her a few hours ago and everything seemed to be fine. Doe’s hands began to form into a balled fist and she nodded over to the middle of the room. 

Peter’s most treasured prize, a lego version of the Millenium falcon, was now melted into the coffee table. She couldn’t even recognize it. MJ sighed, urging Doe to stand up. “Did not … mean it. Promise.”

“Of course you didn't. It’s okay,” MJ knew she couldn’t have intentionally done anything to hurt Peter, “Where is Peter?”

Doe shrugged and MJ reached to grab her hand, “Let’s find him.”

Doe pulled away from her quickly, “Peter is mad!” Doe couldn’t face him, not after what she did and how he reacted. The last week had been complete chaos. Her heat had been giving her serious mood swings and it didn’t help that Peter’s work had become stressful, “No, please.” 

“Doe-” Before MJ could protest, Doe fell down to her bottom and planted herself there. She crossed her arms over her chest as she planned to hide from Peter for the rest of her life.

“Peter is mad for me,” Doe tried to explain again. MJ mentally cursed, the entire situation completely baffling her. Where the hell was Peter?

MJ sighed, “I promise he’s not mad at you,” No reaction, “Fine, just stay here and I’ll go find him.”

MJ kicked over a few misplaced pillows as she made her way out of the living room. She called for Peter as she walked down the hallway before she heard some rumbling around from his office. She wasted no time in knocking as she barged inside. Much like the living room, it was utter chaos, “Everyone in this house has clearly lost their shit,” MJ stated, watching him pace the length of the room, computer in hand. He hadn’t even noticed her walk in, “Peter!”

Michelle ducked as a web aimed right for her head thanks to startling Peter. Peter finally noticed she wasn’t some enemy and stared with wide eyes, “MJ? You scared me!”

“I’ve been yelling in the apartment for ten minutes! Is your Peter tingle not working anymore?”

Peter frowned but went back to staring at his computer. MJ noted his serious bed head and the fact that his shirt was on backward. There seemed to be million open folders tagged with red letters that spelled CONFIDENTIAL and Peter’s secret arsenal of the inventions Stark made for him was open, not hidden anymore by a bookshelf. MJ approached him, snapping her fingers, “Hello, earth to Peter!” 

Peter flashed her an annoyed look, “What is it?”

“You told me to come over, remember?”

“Right,” Peter nodded, “I need you to watch Doe. I’m going … somewhere and I can’t think around her.”

“Is this about your lego toy?”

Peter scowled at her, anger welling up inside of him, “It’s not a lego toy! It’s an eight-thousand piece Millenium Falcon that Ned and I spent thirty hours putting together. Destroyed!” MJ rolled her eyes. 

“She wouldn’t do it for no reason. She just doesn’t know how to control her powers-”

“She knows exactly how to control them,” Peter interjected, “What she doesn't know is how to handle her emotions. She tried to make a drawing of my costume on the wall and, when I told her she couldn’t do that, she exploded. She destroyed the apartment and, just my luck, the fireplace was on. She barely lifted a finger when she summoned that fire.”

MJ took a breath, Peter’s words sinking in, “This doesn’t mean you can tell her to go stand in a corner when you’re angry at her. She didn’t know how much that thing meant to you.”

“I didn’t-” Peter shut his laptop, tossing it on his leather couch, and began to rub his temples as he winced at the thought, “I forgot that I had. I’m not angry with her, MJ, my mind is just all over the place. Fury is torturing me and I can’t afford to slip up or he’ll show up here and find out about Doe.”

MJ nodded, finally understanding what had been going on, “Then I’ll stay here with her while you’re gone. You can get Fury off of your back and Doe and I will stay under the radar,” Peter opened his mouth to thank her but MJ raised a finger, “But first, you’re going to say whatever magic words she wants to hear because, for some weird reason, she likes you a lot and cares what you think of her. And as much as I like sadness and pain, she is the purest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on and she is the only person that I don’t want to see sad and in pain.” 

MJ followed Peter as they went to search for Doe, who was hiding in the walk-in pantry. MJ leaned in the doorway and Peter crouched down where Doe had tucked herself. Peter brushed a piece of the girl’s bright hair behind her ears, “Peter is sorry for his behavior earlier,” MJ almost snorted as he referred to himself in the third person.

“Doe is sorry. Promise,” Her plan failed completely and it only took about twenty minutes as she wrapped her arms around Peter. He hugged her tightly and felt a lot of his anxiety melt away. Explaining to her that he had to leave for a few days would be difficult but he suspected MJ would make it easier. 

“Things are going to be great when I get back, I promise.”

“Hate to make this awkward but both of you look like you haven’t showered in days so maybe we should tackle that challenge first.”

+

Peter was exhausted when he finally returned back from his two weeks later. He had barely slept the entire time and his muscles were aching, not to mention all the bruises that were still healing. He came in close to dinner time to find that the house was still put together, actually, it was cleaner than usual which was odd. That wasn’t the weirdest part because, as he entered the kitchen, he saw that Doe was wearing shoes. 

“Peter!” Of course, Peter accepted her warm embrace but Peter noted her black combat boots, black leather jacket, and finally paired with, you guessed it, a black dress. 

MJ looked up from her slice of pizza to say, “I couldn’t get her into pants, sadly.”

Doe was still tightly wrapped around him as Peter responded, “I think you’ve done enough, thanks. I should’ve known you’d turn her into a mini version of you.”

“Peter, we go shopping!” Peter shot a confused and accusatory look at MJ. 

“You were cool with us using your credit card, right?” MJ took a calm bite of her pizza. 

“You took someone with uncontrolled elemental powers out into public? What if something had happened?”

“It was only for an hour or two … on a few days. She had some anxiety but she got over it quickly. She’s super chill when she’s with me. Plus, you’d be awkward as hell if you had to bra shop with her.”

“MJ, we discussed this-” Before Peter could berate her, MJ grabbed her backpack and her slice of pizza and stormed out of the kitchen.

“Thanks for the pizza and the new clothes, Peter. Bye, kid!”

“Bye-bye, MJ! Good morning!” Doe still had yet to unwrap herself from Peter and, even as her babysitter left, she held Peter tight. 

Peter huffed as he heard the front door slammed. He looked down at Doe who was smiling wide, “Pi-zza for Peter? Make happy?”

Peter nodded and they ate pizza together before Peter collapsed onto his bed with Doe in his arms. 

+

Doe thought that since her heat had passed that she might crave his touch less but this was not at all true. The two weeks apart had her craving him and Peter didn’t seem to mind the extra comfort that she brought him after his long mission. 

She told him all about her adventures with MJ in the words that she knew and that he could understand. It was all a bit jumbled but Peter still seemed to nod and smile though she could see the worry some of the stories had caused him. 

She still liked kissing Peter. He never asked her too but she noticed the way he leaned in when they were looking at each other. He’d hold her head and push his tongue into her mouth, exploring her. 

She couldn’t stop thinking as she paced the hallway, just outside Peter’s office, where he was video conferencing inside. She wasn’t to go inside which she knew but she could hear his voice from the outside. Hear the nervousness and crave to ease any anxiety that he had. 

It was a total accident that a gust of air rushed past and the door cracked open a bit. She peeked inside to see Peter sitting behind his desk, his fingers tapping at his desk, as he stared at a hologram screen across from him. 

She could tell that, whoever was talking to him, a pale woman with brunette hair, “I talked to him, I’m pretty sure he has nothing to do with this situation and, if he did, he wouldn’t have ... “ Peter’s voice trailed off as he saw a totally, conspicuous person crawling into his office. 

Peter’s eyes met hers and his eyes became sharp as if to warn her without outward saying it. 

“Parker?” Peter’s head darted back up to look at Maria. 

“Yes, like I was saying …” Peter continued on the debriefing of his mission as he saw Doe crawl beneath his desk. 

She couldn’t hide the fact that sometimes she enjoyed frustrating Peter. As her hands ran up his legs and she felt him flinch, she giggled to herself. His hand slipped under the desk and he waved his hand as if to tell her to stop. She only took his hand, slipping two of his fingers into her mouth as she slowly sucked on them. It was what he did to his own fingers after stimulating her sensitive parts with his hands. 

Peter paused his speech for a second before, slipping his fingers away and wiping them onto his pants. He continued to talk to the woman as if nothing had happened. Doe positioned herself between his legs and set her head in his crotch, peeking up at him. Peter scowled down at her and she only blushed. 

She nuzzled him into him like a kitten to its owner. 

She thought much about what was between his legs and the fact that he never really insisted on her returning the pleasure that he brought her. She felt how it grew harder when she ground against him during her first heat and she felt it press against her bottoms in the mornings. He never let her touch it as he rushed to the bathroom in the morning to take care of it himself. 

Doe felt it now, growing harder just because of her proximity to it. Peter continued talking and shifted uncomfortably but that only made it more visible to her. Doe sat back on her knees and began to run her fingers over the outline it created in his shorts. 

“Well, we have other agents working this for now and - Peter? Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine- ah!” Doe wrapped her fingers around the outline, slowly stroking up and down. It was fascinating to her and her original plan to bother him for attention quickly took a turn. She wondered if it worked the same way as her private parts did, “I-I’m just not feeling well, Ms. Hill.”

“I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your day, Peter. Expect a call from Fury sometime soon,” Peter nodded quickly as he reached to end the call. 

Soon, the hologram disappeared but the problem at hand was even direr than the mission he was just sent on. 

Peter rolled back in his chair and Doe emerged from under the desk, “Stay away, you evil girl.”

Doe only crawled forward, giggling, “Take care for Peter, please?” She positioned herself between his legs again, sitting up on her knees as her hands reached for the member growing in his pants. It felt a bit softer now and Doe frowned but a few more touches from her, it was hard again. 

Peter’s breath hitched in his throat, “Do you even know … what that mouth of yours would do to me? What your hands would do?” He would kill her, he was sure of it, but at least he’d die happy. 

Peter thought for a moment before slipping down his pants and his boxers, letting his hard member spring free. Doe wasn’t sure what she was expecting but she didn’t expect he’d be hiding all of this inside of his pants. Peter took her hand and gently wrapped it around the base of his cock. 

“Touch it like this,” He instructed her, trying to hold in the sounds he desperately wanted to release. She moved her hand up and down slowly, twisting as he showed her how “You can use your hands or your mouth but both are better … much better. Open your mouth, Doe.”

Peter leaned forward, holding her head, as she opened her mouth. Peter stuck two of his fingers into her open mouth, “Good girl,” he praised her as he went deeper. He was surprised how deep he went before she even gagged and an evil part of him, deep down inside of him, liked that very much. He liked seeing her eyes wide like this and saliva dripping down her chin, “Suck and move that tongue around.”

With some coaching, she easily obeyed. 

“That’s what you want to do with me … okay?” She nodded, bringing her mouth towards Peter’s member. She took him into her mouth, “Move that tongue around, Doe -ah! Just like that.”

His moans were encouragement enough as Doe swirled her tongue around his tip before fully taking him into her mouth. Peter gathered her bright hair in his hand, pushing it from her face, so he could see her clearly as she devoured him, “Keep those eyes on me, little one.”

And she did. 

He wouldn’t last long like this, he knew it, but Doe seemed to gain more control, not needing much guidance as she eagerly took him in deeper. She was … supernatural. 

She gagged as she took in the whole length of him but she kept her tongue swirling around his base even as her eyes watered from the lack of oxygen. Peter almost lost it then but she pulled away with a gasp, “Good, Peter?”

“So good, Doe. So good.”

Doe giggled and went back to tending to him, bobbing her head up and down with the guidance of Peter’s hands wrapped around her hair. He could only handle a minute of it before his hips were bucking and he was releasing into her mouth. 

Peter opened his mouth to tell her she could spit it out but he watched as she swallowed it all and with little complaint. Doe was satisfied knowing she could take care of Peter in this way now. She stood up and crawled into his lap, straddling him. 

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

“Kiss Doe?”

Peter smiled and pecked her lips. 

Doe felt like a princess. 

+

Hope you enjoyed! Reblogs will probably be added to the taglist or send me an ask if you want me to be added! Check out my master list for more of my Peter fics.

[thorne93]

The Softest Fire (Part 27)

Prompt: Rosaline Vaughan had it all: fame, money, power, glory, a high status job. Until, one day, she woke up, and realized something was missing from her life.

Word Count: 3361

Warnings: fight/violence/near death

Notes: First Fantastic Beast fic! I could NOT have done this at all without @arrow-guy​​​​. They have created a counterpart to this fic, writing it from Nora Vaughan’s perspective (Rosaline’s cousin/adopted sister). Fic aesthetic done by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​.

Nora was better. She decided to make an announcement that they were going to merge curse-breaking with the Ministry. I was at the press conference in the crowd to support her, Newt by my side. Theseus and her made the announcement with a handful of others from the Ministry and two other curse breakers in the world. 

My time at Hogwarts came to a close roughly two weeks ago. I’d moved in next to Newt’s flat. Not in the same building, but the one next door. It happened shortly after Nora returned. I felt she needed the space back, so she wouldn’t feel as though she was mothering me any more. It also gave her the chance for Theseus to move in, should they act on it. 

When things ended for me at Hogwarts, the question on many people’s minds was if I’d return. Children gave me gifts and cards, begging me to come back and teach. The other professors gave me words of encouragement, but they know I’d been through some ordeals in the last few years, so they simply said they would love to have me return and left it at that. 

Even I didn’t know what I wanted to do. So, instead of seeking sage counsel from Nora as I normally would, I gave her a break and went to the new source of advice in my life. 

I sat in Newt’s flat during lunch time as he took a break from caring for the animals. His sleeves were rolled up, but they were still covered with wetness and muck. 

“I’ve been thinking,” I began, a bit unsure. 

“Oh? About what?” he asked beside me on the sofa. 

“My career,” I said, my tone serious and loaded. “I love working at Hogwarts…”

“Alright,” he said, dragging the word out. “Is there something that’s wrong with that?” 

“Not wrong, per se, but it does beg the question about where I am to go next. I have been searching my heart for an answer and I just can’t decide. I love Hogwarts. I love working with Albus, seeing the children, having knowledge at my fingertips. The children keep me on my toes. But, if I made it full time, that would mean I was away from you for roughly ten months out of the year. We’d be forced to all those weekend visits. At the same time though, I loved working with you. These creatures gave me purpose. Working with you, traveling with you felt like I was giving something back in the world, helping helpless creatures, keeping them safe.”

“So come back to work with me,” he offered. “I still need an assistant.”

I nodded, biting my lip. “I know, and I love the work, but part of me is quite practical.”

“Yes, I know,” he said, as if that didn’t make a difference.  

Toying with my lips even more, I said, “Well, as much as I do adore working with you, if we are to remain… steady, then I need my own income. I don’t think it’s wise for us to rely on the same income.”

Newt nodded, but I felt I’d hurt his feelings. 

“Please, don’t think I mean any disrespect. You know I adore your work, our work together. I think what you do is absolutely vital and noble. But I don’t think it’s safe to rely on possible book deals popping up.”

“That’s...understandable. Although I always want you to reconsider. You always have a place here as my partner.”

I teared up at his words. “Partner sounds more than lovely.” I took his hands in mine. “I have been thinking and… I think I know a solution. It will keep me local to you, it will help me give back, and I can have my own source of income.” 

“That sounds fantastic! What is it?” 

I held my breath, trying to find the courage to say it. I hoped he would support me, but he might think I was absolutely bonkers. 

“I’d like to run for Minister for Magic,” I said evenly. 

His eyes went wide as his eyebrows shot up. “Really? Wow, that is um, exciting. What made you think of this?” 

“Well, I know I didn’t want it back when I first came to you, but I’m wiser now. I was afraid of being corrupt or not giving back properly, but life experience has changed all that. I’m stronger now. I know how to hold off the Dark Arts. I know how they work. I know things the magic world needs and things it doesn’t.”

“That is true,” he agreed. 

I sat there, ready to burst. I had no idea if he supported me or not. 

“So? Do you think I should do it? Do I have your support?” 

He glanced at me. “Of course you have my support. You have my support to do anything you set your mind to, Rosaline. No matter what. You’ll do every job wonderfully. I’m sure of that.” 

I smiled at him. “Really?” 

“Of course.” 

“You’re not disappointed? Going to call me a cold bureaucrat?” I asked, nervous. 

“No, not in the slightest. If anyone should do that job, deserves that job, or is more fit for a job, it’s you. I’d be proud to see you take that title.” He gave me a warm smile and I nearly melted into his arms. 

---------------------------------

I went to the Ministry just a few days later, both applying for the position and holding a press conference of my own to announce my decision. 

“And so it is with great pride and confidence that I, Rosaline Vaughan, announce to the great magical world, that I will be running for Minister For Magic once more,” I spoke into the microphone. My eyes flashed to Newt’s who was standing in the first row. Theseus was beside him. The two of them were smiling and clapping, as was the rest of the crowd. Nora was off tending to a small curse breaking job, and I didn’t have the chance to tell her.

The press swirled around me for quite some time, asking many questions and people offered to run my campaign, shoving their cards in my hands. Photo after photo was snapped. Finally though, I set off. 

Newt and I walked hand in hand outside of the Ministry. I felt alive, empowered, confident. Until I noticed the streets looked odd. There were no passerbys, no cars, no one. A dead streat. 

Except for something out of the corner of my right eye. 

“Rosaline, running for Minister? What a naughty move... If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a threat to me, but I know you're smarter than that," the voice sent a chill down my spine. 

I turned to face the voice, the reason for my nightmares. There, several feet down the middle of the deserted road, was Gellert Grindelwald, flanked on both sides of him with six confidants. Of course, I recognized Vinda, Creedence, and Abernathy. The other three, I did not know.

“Gellert. I would say it’s lovely to see you again, but, I’d be lying and I was raised not to lie.” I stared him down. 

“What a pity. I thought you might like seeing me again. After all, we were lovers, soon to be wed. More than I can say for your zookeeper here.” He gestured to Newt and I didn’t respond. I knew he wanted anger, or for me to glance to Newt, or to defend him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 

“What do you want, Grindelwald?” I called back. 

“I want you to call off your campaign.”

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because, my dear, you know far too much about me and with you in the position of Minister…” He made a face of faux sympathy. “Well, I’m sorry, but that just wouldn’t work out in my favor, and we can’t have that.”

A few moments later, aurors began to slowly step out into the street. I raised my hand slightly, signaling for them to stay back. 

“I’m going to have to disappoint you. I will not step down, I will not back down, certainly not to the likes of you.” 

He gave an almost laugh, and his followers joined in with a smirk. “You think you can beat me? Darling, you beat my last spell but all that did was land you in my bed, nearly becoming my wife. What makes you think this will turn out any differently?” 

“Because I know things about you now. I know how you think and as unfortunate as that experience was, it wasn’t experience wasted.” 

“Shame. Because your power as a witch will be wasted, when I’m through killing you.” 

He raised his wand but I expected the oncoming blow so I casted a nonverbal multi-shot jinx, knocking back the six of his comrades. By the time he brought down his wand, they were on their backs, moaning, but he kept moving. 

Water from a nearby river swirled quickly over my head and I raised my wand to deflect the oncoming attack but it was too late. The water had enveloped me, forming a sphere around me. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to drown if I didn’t get this ball of water off of my body. Either the water would invade my lungs or Grindelwald’s force he was applying would crush my body. 

I thought hard and quickly. I saw through the water that the six followers were starting to stand. Newt wouldn’t stand a chance against all seven of them. I tried to raise my arms to claw out of it but the water continued to morph around me, suffocating me. 

Finally, I flicked my wand towards Gellert, using Impedimenta to get him to drop his wand and hand. It worked, and I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I didn’t have time to waste. I stood up and casted firestorm at the six followers, keeping them in their place. Following that, I casted expelliarmus at the lot of them, making wands fly at my hands. Using the banishing spell, I sent the wands towards the aurors for safe keeping.

Grindelwald took the moment I was distracted to throw a crucio curse my way but I used Protego to rebound it. It wasn’t effective as the hex was too powerful to rebound, but at least I got it to deflect away from me. 

He casted shot after shot at me, forcing me to either deflect or rebound them until I finally casted Everte Statum at him. He deflected it though, sending it back to me, but I jumped out of the way. 

I tried to send a confundo charm at him, but he blocked it. I followed it up with stupefy but all we were doing was dancing around each other's charms. We did this for several minutes. It appeared it was a draw, but I couldn’t give up. If Grindelwald won, there would be virtually no one to stop him. 

Newt began in on Grindelwald as well, casting Everte Statum on him, sending Grindelwald back. He didn’t expect the attack, so Newt had the advantage. In his stunned moment, I casted Glacius Duo at him, casting him in ice. 

I ran to Newt, my hands fawning all over him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Rosaline. Just fi--” His eyes went wide as he looked over my shoulder so I spun to see what had him startled. 

Grindelwald had broken from the ice. He was standing before me, his eyes lit with fire. 

I raised my wand but he was invariably faster. 

The moment I saw his wand and eyes were aimed at Newt and not me, time slowed down. I saw a spark of green cast out of Grindelwald’s wand.

Avada Kedavra

I had no time to lose. I raised my wand and cast a banishing spell at Newt, sending him flying into one of the windows of the stores across the street. It might’ve hurt, but at least he was safe. 

In the split second he went flying, I gathered a ball of light quickly and casted it out from me, causing an explosion to occur up and down the street. Every window, every glass, shattered and I sent every shard straight for Grindelwald using the oppugno jinx. He protected himself with a shield charm, every shard falling away from him.  

The two of us locked eyes as soon as the shards were done falling before we casted curses on each other. Our wands locked on contact, the spells connecting before suddenly, the beam of light between us wasn’t one color or the other. Rather, it was one gold beam. 

Priori Incantatem

I’d studied this effect before. It was rare, but possible. It meant that it was down to the will power of Grindelwald and myself. Our wands had the same core. I’d forgotten he had the Elder Wand in his possession. 

My wand felt as if it would explode in my hand, but I couldn’t let go. My heart hammered in my chest. I could hear nothing but a roaring in my ears as echoes of the last spells spilled out around us in a golden cage. No one from the outside could reach us.

If I lost, if I let up, if I let him get the upper hand in any way, I’d surely die. He would cast the killing curse on me and not think twice, and it would only follow with killing Newt and possibly Theseus. 

I couldn’t let that happen.

Images began to flicker in my head. I remembered Grindelwald inflicting the crucio curse on Newt in front of me. I remember Newt telling me that Grindelwald almost killed him twice in New York. He nearly killed him in Paris. And he also forced me to attack Newt, ordering me to kill him. 

Five times he’d preyed upon Newt’s life. He’d attacked Nora, Theseus. He killed muggles and wizards alike. There was no stopping him. He didn’t think twice before ending someone’s life, it didn’t matter whose it was. He would've ended mine had I not been some form of asset to him. 

Suddenly, my rage boiled inside me. He’d caused the world to live in fear, to live in peril. He nearly killed the one person I’d ever loved. He didn’t deserve to get away with this. 

This ended now. 

I took a step forward, my energy, all my will power, all my anger, all my fear, all my frustration flowed into my wand. Every word of encouragement and confidence thrust upon me came flooding to the forefront of my mind and trickled into my hands. I grabbed my wand with both hands, moving forward ever so slightly. 

Grindelwald looked up in surprise and for the first time I’d ever seen -- fear. 

Finally, his wand flew from his hand, breaking our connection and the gold cage. He stared at me with total shock. He raised his hand to perform a non-verbal spell but I was quicker. I quickly casted Petrificus Totalus and Incarcerous. 

He was forced to his knees before me as ropes wrapped themselves around him.

“Aurors!” I called back to the witnessing crowd. “You have a criminal that I believe needs apprehending.” 

“Quite the show, Ms. Vaughan. I must say I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

“You nearly killed Newt five times. I’m not like Albus, Gellert, I don’t reason with people -- I stop them.” 

“I’d heard you were working with him,” he informed.

“Yes. He asked me to destroy your blood pact.” 

“Were you successful?” 

“Not yet, so don’t think you can break out of prison to have him killed.” I flashed a smile full of malice just as the aurors came up, all of their wands at the ready to take him into custody. “But, I did ask him to tell me all your weaknesses. I thought it might come in handy, should you ever try to attack me.”

He looked down, as if he should’ve seen it coming. A bit of an amused smile came across his face. 

“You should’ve just killed me, Gellert.” 

“And waste such a talented witch? No. I’ll live in your memory forever now.” He flashed me a proud smirk as they hauled him to his feet.

I nodded. “You will,” I agreed “as the most evil Dark Wizard I’ve had the pleasure to stop.” 

As they walked him by, he stared at me with what I could only discern as a begrudging respect. Once he was out of sight, I finally relaxed. Theseus rushed up to me. 

“Are you okay? That was… that was quite something.”

I nodded, taking a breath. “I’m alright. Where is Newt? Is he okay?” I turned, panicked that I’d hurt him worse than I intended. Just as I spun however, he was standing there before me, holding a wand. “Is that his?” I asked, despite knowing the answer.

He bobbed his head. “It’s yours now I suppose. Unless, Theseus, the Ministry will have some objection to this?” He glanced over to his brother.

Theseus shook his head, almost laughing. “No, no, by all means, Rosaline won it fair and square. I prefer it in her hands over the Ministry’s.”

I thanked him and he thanked me before going inside. 

Newt looked at me curiously before I laughed and inquired, “What? What are you looking at me like that for?”

“You’re truly amazing, you know that?”

“I suppose I am,” I agreed proudly. 

“I thought I lost you,” he breathed, staring at me. 

“I know,” I admitted. “I thought I lost myself too. As soon as that water came around me, I thought I was done for. Then he casted the killing curse at you…” 

“When your wands connected, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to protect you so badly but I didn’t want to get in the way either.” 

I reached up, cupping his face. “You could never be in the way. In fact, today, your attack on him distracted him long enough for me to get the upper hand. I was sure I was as good dead there for a few moments before that. So thank you, for saving my life.” 

“It’s the least I can do. You’ve saved mine on numerous occasions while we were capturing animals.” 

“I’ll always do everything I can to protect you, Newt. Always. I can’t live without you.”

“Nor I you,” he agreed. 

“I was ready to step in front of that curse for you, but I knew that I was the best hope for stopping him, so I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry if my spell hurt you by the way.” 

He shook his head. “Quite all right. Just a little bruised, but not bad for interfering with a duel between the two greatest wizards of our time.”

I gave him a half smile before putting my hand on his shoulder and concentrating. A nonverbal spell spilled out of me and I lifted my hand. 

“Feel better?” I asked.

“Much. What did you do?”

“A simple healing spell. I actually learned it from Grindelwald.” I smirked, amused at the irony.

“Will you ever stop impressing me?” Newt wondered as he stared into my eyes. 

“I hope I never do,” I replied. 

“Me too,” he admitted. “Now, we should get you home. You have a campaign to plan and some resting to do. You’ve far more than earned it.”

“Ah, yes, and we should probably tell Nora about my decision to run for Minister,” I insisted as I put my arm through his. The aurors began reconstructing the street as we walked. 

“I’ll be sure to mention that, and the fact that you just won the greatest wizarding duel.”

“Yes, but that will overshadow my decision to run, so be sure you lead with the campaign first,” I encouraged. 

Newt glanced at me before smiling keenly. “Yes, quite right.” 

The two of us laughed before I rested my head on his shoulder, walking along beside him happily, more free and weightless than I’d ever felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[the-dark-fantastic]

Trick Or Peet (Fanfiction - Pokémon HG/SS - Petrel/Reader)

Title: Trick Or Peet Author: ultra-warped / the-dark-fantastic.tumblr.com Fandom: Pokémon HeartGold / SoulSilver Characters: Petrel/Reader, Giovanni, Team Rocket Grunts, Original NPCs Rating/Warnings: General/Teen - Completely SFW fic; the rating is for some mildly-naughty words and bad jokes. Notes: At the end of the fic (along with a 'deleted scene')! Summary: Everybody has a good time at the holidays. Even Team Rocket.

One of the great things about this town is that no one's ever too old for the Haunted Harvest Festival. Even the people who don't go all-out for it still give it a nod, in the way of a hairbow holding a tiny pointed hat, or a porch full of plush Pumpkaboos, or that one incredibly odd fellow with the lapel pin shaped like Mismagius that when you lean in turns out to be an actual Mismagius -

Alright, that guy's a f'n freak. But everyone else is having a good time, including you, though you'd probably be having an even better one if you hadn't gotten stuck taking your little brother around for tricks and treats. Your dad was supposed to do it this year, but -

"He went out for candy cigarettes three hours ago and hasn't come back," your mom said, staring out the window with the most worried expression she could possibly contrieve, and you'd just groaned, dropping your head into your hand. (He really will be back, though. Your mom just thinks that joke is a lot funnier than it is - but your brother's not old enough to understand it yet, so it's probably okay.)

(And to be honest, you wouldn't put it past your dad to have gone out the front door, snuck around the back, and been hiding in the basement choking on his own laughter. The whole family's like this, but at least you know where you got it from. And whose fault it will be when you finally get your sweet, sweet revenge.)

So you're stuck with the kid instead of meeting up with your own crew, but at least it's a nice night for it. Last year, it rained until the garlands of paper Ghost-types turned to purple mush, and the year before that, it was so cold that nearly everyone had ended up in a universal costume of parkas and overfluffed earmuffs. But right now it's warm enough to slip off the light jacket and go bare-armed, and once the temperature does start to fall, you'll have been running around for so long you'll welcome the kind of breeze that scratches leafless branches across a midnight sky.

Your neighbours are nice - and certainly festive (Gentleman Edward and Madame Vivianne do the absolute best amateur spookyard, hands down) - but for the real haul, most people head downtown, where all the local businesses and even a few of the larger chains are stocked with full-size chocolate bars, gift bags so heavy the bottoms are threatening to fall out, and in one case, a berry-bobbing tub deep enough to drown in. It's all about drumming up customers, of course, but it's hard to mind when every window is filled with a living display and the only way you can tell the employees from the guests is by their nametags because all the costumes are that damn good. There's no half-assing it with just a googly-eyed, wiggly-eared headband here.

But what's better yet (or much, much worse, or absolutely hysterical, depending on who you talk to)? Is that Team Rocket gets super-into it, too. No one had been happy when the infamous criminal organization had set up shop here - and it's not like they'd been open about it at first, they hadn't put the Big Red R on their roof or anything; but once the rumours started to spread, they'd spread fast, and once someone actually managed to prove it - by then, they'd become firmly enough entrenched that no one knew how to run them out to begin with, or if it would have been the right thing to do even if they’d found a way. Weirdly enough, Team Rocket puts a lot back into the local economy. So sort of an uneasy truce had formed, with most of the residents looking the other way as long as Team Rocket didn't do anything really publically illegal, and Team Rocket pretending their business wasn't doing things that were...well, really illegal.

But then they'd started up their Happy Harvest, Family Fun! campaign, handing out candy and trinkets and colourful little cards right outside HQ, and the PTA Brigade had lost their minds. “Criminals? Luring our children into their creepy black van? Not in my backyard!” If ever there was a lost cause, though, trying to keep kids away from an increasingly-shiny combination of candy and danger was probably it. Eventually, Moms Against Team Rocket (MoTeR, pronounced exactly like it wasn't actually spelled) had given up on attacking the event directly and settled for grumbling behind the closed doors of what their husbands assumed were meetings full of wine and those lemon bars their hands had been smacked away from.

Your mom hadn't been part of it (though you're not sure if that's because she isn't particularly concerned about Team Rocket or because of the Noodle Casserole Incident that had gotten her politely but firmly invited not to feel as if she needed to continue attending the PTA), and so you don't feel much guilt about taking your brother that way once the frenzy at the shops starts to die down. He's still as wound up as he'd been when you left the house and probably doesn't need any more sugar, but he's easier to manage when he thinks he's getting his way and once you get back, he's going to be your parents' problem, not yours. (Ha. There's your revenge.) He's run into one of his little cronies and they're shrieking about who's collected the most, and by the time you rock up to the Rocketyard, the stories being passed back and forth about all the people they know who know someone who's been to Lavender Town (and occasionally, someone who didn't come back from Lavender Town) are actually a relief, because every time they manage to scare each other silent, it lasts a whole three seconds or so.

Whatever's beyond those heavy red doors is off-limits to anyone not a member of the organization, so the party takes place outside, and outside is packed. Most years, it's been the grunts handling the handouts, but tonight - Seriously? The big boss himself? Those are the murmurs at the back of the line, anyway. You've never seen Giovanni in person before - just his portrait staring into your soul from the posters put up now-and-then - and you bounce up on your toes, trying to get a glimpse over the top of the crowd. You can't - too many taller heads prevail - but a pair of girls you remember vaguely from your senior year are passing by on their way out, and you can hear them giggling and gasping - "Oh! I know Team Rocket's terrible, but Mr Giovanni's really quite dashing, isn't he?" "...did you really just call him dashing? Did Celebi transport me back in time and I missed it?"

So it is him? That adds a further touch of mystery and excitement to a night that's already got no shortage of either. Why here? Why now? It's no secret that Team Rocket hosts these events to boost their image, but they're doing well enough right now (for a given value of 'well enough', anyway) - so is it that he feels safer making an appearance when public opinion is high, or could it be a ploy to push it even higher? Because, face it, ninety percent of these kids would vote the man into office right now. (The other ten percent are too firmly on the Pikachu is Pikafection platform, and by tomorrow, they'll all be throwing their support to Mr Mime's Wall O'Wonder Show. The candy bribes giveth, and the candy bribes taketh away.)

As you get closer, the image you've seen in those pictures begins to resolve. Giovanni isn't costumed (though he is very definitely dressed up - like, to the nines up), but he's made a concession to the festival by pinning a spray of purple blossoms to his lapel. He's seated in a chair padded with the sort of leather that probably shouldn't ever actually be brought outdoors, and though he's generally accompanied in promotional material by the most smug Persian the world has ever known, the Classy Cat is currently nowhere to be found. It seems, too, that the grunts are still the ones running the show, because Giovanni nods and smiles - kind of smirks, really - at the visitors who've made it to the front, but it's his henchmen who are filling bags and making jokes and pulling punches at the teenagers who think they're too cool for fun and just want to say they went toe to toe with Team Rocket.

And while the Persian may be strangely absent, there are an assortment of the other Pokémon people have come to associate with the most poisonous team in town - an Arbok dancing amidst fan-blown ribbons, the full Zubat evolutionary line flapping about overhead, and more Koffing than you can shake a swab stick at.

Seriously, there are so. Many. Koffing. They're bobbing around like balloons, and they're dressed up, too - with hats and body paint and fluttering capes, and one even has a little papier-maché head stuck to its side, so that it can know what it's like to be a Weezing even though it's not quite ready to evolve.

You've reached the end of the queue, and while your little brother is hopping up and down, jabbing the air next to a grunt who's clearly weary as hell but still doing his best to make sure all the kids get to have a good time, Giovanni steeples his fingers and dips his head in such a way that his eyes flash before going darker still, and alright, you can absolutely see why the airheads called him 'dashing'. You only get to hold the thought for a moment before the two of you are ushered away, though, and you don't have time to snatch it back before your brother's shoved his head into the sack and started reeling off a list of his ill-given gains. It's a smorgasboard of crackerjacks and actual jacks, little plastic toys that won't last for more than a day but it doesn't matter because little boys can't stay interested in most things that long anyway, and the reason you know they're going to break immediately is because your brother's managed to snap one in half before you've even made it halfway home.

Unfortunately, 'halfway home' is well before the limits of even the shortest attention span, and delight turns to dismay with a wail that could make a Haunter shudder and turn pale. You do what you can to, if not distract him, convince him that it's not the end of the world and he probably didn't care that much about the trinket anyway, but he's already convinced himself of the exact opposite, and in the end, the only thing you can get him to agree to is to stay right here while you run back to see if they'll give you a replacement. It's a goodwill gesture, right? And they'd all seemed fairly good-natured about it. Maybe they won't mind.

By the time you get there, though, things are winding down; the Rocketyard's mostly cleared out and the remaining grunts are either sweeping up the hundred thousand wrappers dropped by hands that are surprisingly incapable of holding on to anything for being so sticky, or trying to recapture the overly-excited Koffing that are now chasing each other around with all the grace of drunken bumper cars. "Oi! Peety! Come get your freakin' plague puffs!" one shouts, and if this Peety, whoever that is, answers, it's lost beneath the cacophany of cleanup. Your chances of finding (or buying, or begging) a new toy seem to be dwindling as rapidly as the chance anyone's getting those Koffing back in order, but from the corner of your eye, you catch a flash of dapper black vanishing around the building's far side, and screw it, you are going for the gold.

"Mr Giovanni! I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have a minute? My brother -" you call, and then you stop short, because as you come up on the man you're chasing, he starts to strip - no, wait, he's wearing something else beneath that fabulous suit, and you wouldn't have thought that to even be possible, it fit so well. Did he not hear you? He must not have, because he's dropped his face into his palms and raked his fingers through his hair, and when he turns toward you at last -

It's not Giovanni. It's a tall man in the black and white uniform of a Rocket executive, with purple hair swept up atop his head, and if you hadn't seen the transformation yourself, you never would have believed it. He's as surprised as you, now - but for a different reason - and the elegance he'd displayed in Giovanni's suit is gone as he stumbles back. "&#%$!" he yelps, and you can hear every symbol rolling off his tongue. "You, ah, didn't see that, did you?"

You stammer an answer as you edge away yourself, because as fun as it may be to play 'Take On Team Rocket!' when you're eight and loaded up on Vanillish Wafers, this seems a lot more like it's going to result in real trouble, and though your hands have found the wall and you're trying to use it to guide yourself back the way you came without taking your eyes off the executive, it's no use - his long legs outstride yours and he's caught up to you well before you have any real hope of getting away. His own hand plants to the wall, just beside your head, and he leans in, smirking that same smirk that had you so convinced he could really be the Fearless Leader. "'cause if you did, I'm gonna have to make sure you won't talk."

Oh, &#%$, you think, legs shaking, you are going to die here; you are going to disappear and at your empty-coffined funeral, your little brother is just going to scream that you hadn't gotten him another toy before you were tossed off the mortal coil, but before you can manage to pass out so that you at least won't see it coming, the man ducks the rest of the way in and smashes his lips to yours. And then he's gone, darting around that corner you were so desperate to reach yourself, and based on the sound that's rapidly fading as he puts ever-more distance between the two of you, you're pretty sure that he

is

giggling.

"G'damnit, Peety!" you hear as you're creeping out, apparently from the same grunt who'd been yelling for the mysterious Peety before. "The hell have you been?" You don't stick around for the reply, because no one's looking your way - including the lanky executive, who not only has his back to you once more but has suddenly been flocked to by every last one of the runaway Koffing, cloaking him in a cloud of poisonous purple love - and this seems like the perfect time to make your escape.

"Where is it where is it where is it!" your brother demands as you run back up, grabbing his hand to pull him along whether he's ready to go or not, and you mumble a reply you can barely understand yourself; They didn't have any more or They were already closed or something else that doesn't have a damn thing to do with what actually happened but at least takes the blame off you because what are you supposed to do in that situation? Your face is on fire, but as long as he's trying to find the perfect balance between crying over his broken knick-knacks and stuffing his mouth full of candy, he's not paying enough attention to notice, and by the time you've made it back to your house and pawned him off on your parents (Dad was indeed in the basement, and you are not surprised at all), that chill evening wind has mostly washed away what you haven't managed to yourself. The sooner you're in your own room, the better, though, and you spend a few minutes flattened to the closed door, trying to catch the breath that should never have left you in the first place.

...Team Rocket throws a Christmas party, too, don't they?

Notes:

- For @hollowsart, who said there wasn't enough Petrel/Reader fic in the world. - There was a discussion about Team Rocket (or at least some members) doing Random Acts of Kindness to cast them in a more positive light, which reminded me of the Yakuza group that does that with Halloween, which is how we're now getting a Halloween fic in May. >_> - It ended up with a lot less actual Petrel/Reader than I intended (or even Petrel at all), but this is what I do, I make it so we can't have nice things, and also I think it's cute so you'll get this and you'll like it! <_< - =D

Bonus Deleted Scene:

Jessie and James roll out a mechanical Persian, which promptly malfunctions, necessitating a need to whisk it away as quickly as possible lest the Jig Be Completely Up.

[mbtizone]

Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars): ENTJ

Dominant Extroverted Thinking [Te]: Taking charge of situations comes second nature to Spencer. Following Alison’s disappearance, Spencer often acts as the unofficial leader of her group of friends. She’s decisive, straightforward, overachieving, driven, blunt, competitive, bossy, extremely intelligent, and good at coming up with plans. Spencer has a hand in everything. She takes on internships, does charity work, plays on the field hockey team, and is a member of several after-school clubs, all while dealing with a cyber stalker. With everything she has on her plate, Spencer is proven to have strong time management skills. Spencer is motivated to get results. Spencer deals with all of her problems in an analytical manner. She’s good at taking control of situations, and is often depended on by her friends to “think” them out of the trouble they get into. When they find Emily standing over Ali’s grave with a shovel, Spencer takes her back to her house and burns her clothing, then leaves a note telling her mom they were at the lake house all night in order to provide an alibi. She remains cool-headed during times of crisis and can always think of a plan. She gives the orders and everybody else typically follows them.

Auxiliary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Although Spencer lives in the world of facts and evidence, she also knows how to rely on her intuition. When Spencer has a hunch, she sees it through until she knows for sure. When she has a strong gut feeling about something, she pursues it with fierce determination. Spencer is good at coming up with suspects, as well as possible motives, and, once she is struck with the best theory, she latches onto it, sometimes becoming very stubborn and obsessive in her quest to prove it. A lot of the time, her intuition is great, but every now and then, she fixates on the wrong people or the wrong detail and can end up falling down the wrong rabbit hole. Spencer, more than any of the other girls, has a tendency to speak in metaphors. She is good at thinking several steps ahead, and often pokes holes in other people’s plans or theories because theirs tend to be more short-sighted and not as well thought out as hers. When Spencer has just one or two small pieces of information, she can formulate complex conspiracy theories based on a minuscule amount of evidence. In the doll house, Spencer doesn’t immediately realize that the blocks spell “Charles.” However, she sleeps on it, resulting in an “Aha!” moment. When she realizes that someone has called Emily from her phone after she goes missing, she immediately jumps to the conclusion that they’re being set up.

Tertiary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Spencer has a good handle on her physical environment. She’s athletic and, in addition to being on the field hockey team, Spencer plays tennis at the Country Club. She has an eye for fashion and design, as noted by Melissa after Spencer renovated the barn. Sometimes, she acts on impulse, which can get her into trouble. Spencer is resourceful and can see opportunities in her environment to use to her advantage. When she goes over to Marco’s apartment to try to get him to drop the case and he refuses, she notices the flash drive on his table and swipes it. Then, when he calls her about it, she subtly threatens to blackmail him (Ni-Se). Spencer is unafraid to take risks and readily puts herself in dangerous situations in service of the plans she develops using her higher functions. Out of all the girls, she is the most dedicated to getting to the bottom of things, and is focused on exposing A by any means necessary. She doesn’t care if she has to break into an office or a house to do some sleuthing, or if she has to manipulate people to get information. Spencer is good at paying attention to her surroundings and is constantly observing. She is quick to react to things – such as when she hears noises while investigating and instantly flees the scene (sometimes before the other girls even have a chance to realize they’re not alone).

Inferior Introverted Feeling [Fi]: When Spencer is angry or upset, she doesn’t talk about it, she does something about it. Sometimes, she’ll throw herself into a plan to avoid her pain (Te), and other times, she’ll make uncharacteristically reckless decisions (Se). Other times, she’ll make dumb mistakes that she wouldn’t ordinarily make. When Spencer is upset about Caleb and Hanna, she drinks excessively, leading to her accidentally paying for drinks at the bar with Archer’s credit card instead of her own. Spencer doesn’t like to be a victim and she doesn’t want to think about the pain she’s feeling. In the past, she has turned to drugs as a coping mechanism. When Spencer is upset, she makes eye contact with Aria in the hall and turns in the other direction. She goes into the bathroom and hides out in a stall, but Aria follows her in, and Spencer pretends she isn’t there. When Aria insists that she knows Spencer is in there, Spencer maintains that she’s fine and tries to avoid talking to her. While Aria talks, Spencer remains silent, and Aria eventually gives up and leaves.

Enneagram: 3w4 Sx/Sp (Tritype: 3w4 1w2 6w5)

Quotes:

Spencer: I don’t think this is gonna come as any surprise to you. But I can be really certain about things. I like being certain, okay? Its where I’m comfortable. I am not happy in the grey places.

Spencer: A dream is an experience and an experience is real.

Spencer: I really don’t let myself cry in front of anybody.

Spencer: Why enjoy today when you could be worrying about tomorrow?

Spencer: I’ve been in the library so much I am on a first name basis with the homeless guy that sleeps next to the microfiche.

Spencer: Giving into a bully never works. Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough. Your only choice is to stand up to them, even if it costs you something.

Spencer: If you think I’m going to let you hurt her, you’re underestimating me.

Spencer: I don’t want to be here anymore. Is that legitimate enough?

Melissa: For once in your life, stop trying to be the smartest person in the room.

Spencer: I decided I didn’t want to be the victim anymore. That’s not who I am.

Spencer: Is there something going on between you two? Aria: No Spencer: And why did you bring him to Emily’s last night? Aria: Okay, we had a slip. Spencer: A slip!? Aria: Well, technically it was two slips. Spencer: Oh my god Aria you said you were never gonna go there again. Aria: I meant it when I said it. Spencer: Are you forgetting about what he did to you? What he did to us? Aria: No Spencer: You couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks after you found out about that book. Aria: Okay, well he took a bullet for us, Spence. Spencer: Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that he deceived you for years!

Spencer: The quitter did. That’s what you do, isn’t it Emily ? You quit things. When things are too much for you, you just throw in the towel. I mean, you quit the swim team, you quit Paige, you even quit Maya.

Spencer: Our familiers are connected. They’re more than just connected they’re tangled up like necklaces int the bottom of you jewelry box.

Spencer: How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. Emily: What brilliant scholar said that ? Spencer: Winnie the Pooh.

Spencer: Did you ever play the game with the flowers when you were little, he loves me, he loves me not ? He loves me, he loves me not… The trick is, you just find a flower with the odd number of petals.

Spencer: I knew who I was when they found me. I knew that my family and friends would be worried. I just — I wanted to fold up and stop. I didn’t want to think anymore. Anne: You were overwhelmed. Spencer: Yeah, well, I wasn’t Spencer Hastings for almost a whole day and nobody else showed up to take the job, so, I guess I’m stuck with it. Anne: Because you’re the only person in the world that can be you. Spencer: You don’t have to rub it in. I’m sorry, this can’t be very entertaining. There are people here with real problems. Anne: Just like you. Spencer: Yeah. Just like me. I…I fell down. In the woods. When I was running, I fell down and I looked at the ground and I saw my hand and my sleeve and the little button on my sleeve and some dirt and an old acorn, and I said to myself, “OK, if this is the last thing I ever see, I can handle that. I’m done. I’ve had enough.” But it wasn’t the last thing that I saw. I just kept going. How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened? What do you have to change inside to survive? Who do you have to become? I’m sorry. I don’t expect you guys to understand. You don’t know me. [From her point of view, she sees Emily, Aria and Hanna sitting across from her] I’m sorry, but that’s true. You don’t know who I am anymore. And you can’t count on me.

Hanna: It probably is and were just sitting here like geese Spencer: Ducks Hanna: What? Spencer: You say like lame ducks, not geese Hanna: OK, well whatever they both quack Spencer: Geese honk…

Emily: Coincidences happen. Spencer: Yeah, all the time. They just grow on trees like coconuts, waiting for you to walk under them.

Spencer: With Ali, I keep peeling, I just always seem to find new layers.

Spencer: Uh, drugging yourself is the best alibi ever. Classic Sharon Stone movie.

Spencer: [about Mona and Jason]: Okay, he’s basically hugging a hand grenade.

Spencer: If she’s going to dip back into the A-bag to scare me off the decathlon team, she’s got another thing coming. Hanna: Is being captain brainiac really that important?

Hanna: Spencer, stop giving us orders. We’re not your winged monkeys.

Mona [to Spencer]: You’re like smart-smart. I always thought you were just book-smart.

Spencer: Hide and seek was my favorite game with Melissa. You want to know why? I always won.

Spencer: Melissa is a Hastings, we bounce back like super balls.

Spencer [about Jenna]: How can you miss her? She’s been gliding around school all day like a Thanksgiving float.

Spencer: Hanna, you have all the subtlety of a hand grenade.

Spencer: He’s your boyfriend, Aria. He’s not a baby squirrel. Aria: I was just trying to do the right thing. Spencer: Totally wrong. Look, I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Every time you baby squirrel Ezra, you’re taking away his nuts. Aria: You did not just say that.

Spencer: [about Aria and Ezra’s relationship] Part of me thinks this is really self-destructive behavior, but most of me just thinks it’s really hot.

Emily: [About Paige] Just some snarky comment about me being gay. Spencer: I will destroy her. Aria: Can I help?

Spencer: [On the phone] Where are you? Aria: What are you talking about, I’m right here. Spencer: [Hears sirens] Any firetruck you can here at your house, I can hear at mine– Oh my God! Are you in his apartment? Are you on the bed…?

Spencer: Mona is five feet of insidious snark with a side ponytail, and I just — I wanna grab it, and I wanna yank it really, really hard.

Spencer: I know every club. I came close to joining The Madrigals.

Spencer: “A” is being our ultimate “frenemy”, forcing us to get what we want, but knowing that when we do… Hanna: All hell breaks loose.

Hanna: Lying is not a crime. Spencer: It is when you’re giving false statements to the police. It’s called obstruction of justice.

Maya: So, I get your connection to Spencer. You both like to win. Emily: Winning’s great, but if I’ve done my best, I usually feel good about the outcome, no matter what it is. Maya: And Spencer? Emily: Spencer needs to win.

Hanna: Spencer, you do not need to know any more big words. You’re already scary enough to anyone under fifty. Spencer: I’m not scary! Am I scary? Aria: A little.

Spencer: I think we’re supposed to go to where we found Ali’s bracelet. Aria: That was in the middle of nowhere. Spencer: Actually, it was fifteen steps east of the half-point tree, which is 136 steps from the main road. Aria: You’re a freak, and I love you.

Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars): ENTJ was originally published on MBTI Zone