#of course you might think that this would mean that cas's confession is dealt with

[youchangedmedestiel]

Something that would fix me: see on my screen Cas or Dean hug the other from behind in the bunker's kitchen, arms wrapped around the waist and head resting on the shoulder. You get it. You get the visual.

[barren-heart]

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

[mattzerella-sticks]

You Do, a Sam-centric, Dean/Castiel coda for 15x06 “Golden Time”, 4.9k

Sam feels like he's the only one that cares about defeating Chuck. Dean, while physically present, cannot bother to lend a hand. And Cas is willing to help, but would rather do it on his own.

After Cas lets slip that the reason for his voluntary exile begins with the letter 'D' and rhymes with Mean, Sam puts Chuck on the back burner to deal with the more pressing issue of reuniting Dean and his best friend. Only with how stubborn Dean is avoiding research, it'll be ten times worse to make him talk to Cas.

Luckily Sam has a few new tricks up his sleeve now that he embraces an aspect of himself he never allowed himself to try. Will he help his brother do what needs to be done? Or will his plan bring forth an entirely unexpected outcome?

Sam waits until Dean leaves to sag against his seat. He scrubs a hand down his face, hoping he can wipe away the pent-up frustration caused by Dean’s visit. Unfortunately its roots sunk deep and cannot be torn so easily.

The worst part was Dean barely did anything to warrant such powerful irritation.

Dean strolled in for all of five minutes, robe sweeping behind him, asking where his slippers were. Sam glanced away from the page of his book to find his brother barefooted. Toes wiggling underneath the wide curtain of his cowboy print pajamas. A welcome change from the hot dogs glued to Dean’s legs, except Sam can’t stare at the pants for too long without blushing. Always stumbling across one cowboy or another that looked inappropriate.

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam said, “Why don’t you check the last place you wore them and start from there?”

He thought that would drive Dean elsewhere. Instead Dean took his suggestion as an invitation, lounging across the table from him with a bag of chips on his lap. Forcing Sam to listen while he checked off every memory with his slippers present in them. Chomped on his snack with crumbs spewing every couple of words, a few shooting so far ahead they land on his book.

A blood vessel in Sam’s forehead twinged with the need to burst. “Dean,” Sam cut him off, interrupting his retelling of when he used one of his slippers to kill a spider in the dungeons. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m kind of busy…”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” he said, wagging the book, “Research… to take down Chuck?”

A dark shadow crossed his expression, surfacing briefly only to disappear in the next moment. “Right…”

Sam arched a brow. “Y’know, you could forget about the slippers and join -”

“I think I just remembered where they are,” he said, standing. “Thanks for the help, Sammy.” Dean shuffled towards the exit, a cowboy riding a stallion with back arched in pleasure the last thing he saw.

He marks the page he was on, shutting the book. Too bothered to continue researching. Pointless even trying since there’s a more pressing problem that persists, an obstacle better dealt with before facing Chuck. Because if there’s any chance of beating God, Sam needs his brother and not the sad, soft shell wearing his clothes and eating his food.

Eating all their food. They don’t have the money to support Dean’s void-like stomach. Sam almost purchased an array of healthy snacks during the last grocery trip. Only rejecting the idea when he imagined how bad of a fit Dean would pitch if Sam returned with peapods and gluten-free wafers. Or, worse, his brother accepting the food with indifference.

Dean’s spiral spun so far down Sam wouldn’t put it past him. It frightens Sam to see his brother like this, especially since he figured it was over after their milk-run to Rowena’s. After Sam broke past Dean’s walls with his plaintive speech and offered a hand to help him out of his darkness. Like he did for him when Chuck’s betrayal and Rowena’s death were still fresh wounds.

But where Sam let Dean pull him to safety, it seems Dean left Sam hanging.

“I don’t know what to do,” Sam confesses, his soft voice echoing in the cavernous library. He taps his fingers on the book, gnawing on his lip.

There were only so many options to choose from, and Sam exhausted most of them. Space only gave Dean’s depression room to grow. Confronting it hadn’t worked either. Giving Dean a target to focus his anger, confusion, and sadness failed for the first time in a long while. And Sam’s Hail Mary never answered his messages.

Still… Sam looks to his phone, wondering. The next call could be the one. That spark of hope pushes him to grabbing his phone and redialing Cas’s number.

Unlike every other time he tried, Cas picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Cas!” Sam sighs, an ounce of relief pouring into him. “Cas, man, it’s so good to hear you.”

“It’s… nice to hear from you as well.”

“Where have you been?” he asks, “It’s not like you to go so long without at least checking up. We were worried about you.”

“I… I’m sure you were worried, Sam,” Cas says, tone immediately curdling the relief in Sam’s stomach. “I was away. After everything with Chuck and Jack and De… and it all, I needed some time to myself.”

Sam nods, frown marring his face. “Understandable. Wish you could have told us -”

“I expressed my intentions clearly to Dean,” Cas says, “Has he not told you?”

“Now that you ask…” Fear plucks a frightful chord across Sam’s heart. “Dean hadn’t mentioned it at all.” Thinking back, Dean doesn’t talk about Cas anymore unless prompted. Gone were the hours he would spend telling Sam pointless stories of times he and Cas were together. Mentioning the angel when something reminded Dean of him. Staring at his phone with a tiny smile on his face, in deep conversation with Cas.

“Of course.”

There’s an empty space Cas tiptoes around, an event not mentioned. “What -”

“So,” Cas interrupts, “Chuck is picking up where he left off?”

“Yeah,” Sam says, “But -”

“But we will do our best to stop him,” he finishes for him, “I’m already on my way towards Heaven, to see if there might be anything there that he forgot. That might detail a weakness of some kind.”

“That’s a good idea,” Sam shrugs, “but I could really use you here…”

A harsh breath blows through the speaker. “I… I’m already halfway to Heaven’s gate, Sam. Turning around now would be… it would be a waste of my usability.”

“That doesn’t matter Cas,” Sam tells him, “Right now Heaven can wait. You’re more important. What with you leaving so suddenly after the hellmouth, we never got the chance to check in.”

Silence. Sam waits for Cas’s response, checking every now and then to make sure the angel didn’t hang up on him. “Sorry,” he says after a while, “I… I was distracted. You want to know how I’m feeling?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m… fine .”

“Really?” Sam arches his brows so high they fly off to Missouri. “ Fine ?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because none of us are fine,” Sam scoffs, “I wasn’t for awhile and Dean, he…” He pauses, expecting Cas to jump in and demand he continue. Only it never comes. “Dean, he,” Sam fumbles awkwardly, “He’s kind of let the whole thing get to him and… it’s bad over here.”

Cas hums over the line. “I see… this call wasn’t about Chuck. It’s about Dean.”

“Cas -”

“If Dean truly has need of me ,” he says, voice wet and thick, hoarse from keeping something at bay, “than Dean should be able to call and express this himself. But per my last conversation with him, Sam, I highly doubt I’m the solution you seek. I’d probably just… make everything worse .”

“What? No - Cas -”

“I have to go, Sam,” Cas sighs, “there are patrol cars lined up along the highway, and I’d rather not be pulled over for talking on the phone. Goodbye.”  He hangs up despite Sam’s protest, a flat beep ringing in his ears.

Sam taps the end button, mulling over the conversation. Uses the few minutes spent with Cas to shed light on weeks observing his brother. Rethinks his earlier judgments about the root of his problems. Whenever life slights Dean he focuses all his anger and fury on it. It helped them countless times during hunts or facing powerful enemies. Except if Dean’s target is himself, all that destruction turns inward.

Which explains absolutely everything about Dean’s behavior.

“Dammit, Dean…” Sam tugs at his hair, annoyance flaring up at his brother’s actions. Whatever they were sent fissures into the foundation of his and Cas’s relationship. The shockwaves wrecking everything else around them. Worse, Sam only realizing too late.

Now Dean haunts the Bunker’s hall, the only ghost left, and their friend keeps his spirit tethered with his anger.

“There’s got to be a way to fix it…”

Sam knows what has to happen, and how unlikely it will come to pass. Dean would rather spend twenty hours surrounded by books than take steps towards repairing his mistakes. Even with the years of growth under his belt. Because when it comes to Cas, Dean is too short. And Cas followed his lead.

Meaning neither have ever finished a fight, preferring to drop it and sweep a rug over what happened. Neglect the necessary fixes until, apparently, the wood under their feet rotted through and sent them crashing into the shit they buried.

“Not this time,” Sam says, standing, “This time they can’t ignore it.”

His passion wanes when he thinks about forcing two of the most stubborn people to do things they aren’t ready for. While he may have wounded God, Sam lacks the necessary power to switch up the script.

“Or,” he thinks, glancing at a nearby box, “maybe I don’t?”

It’s not any of the stuff they carried in from Rowena’s study. Instead one of the two they scrounged from the truck where the coven they ganked hid. Sam digs through the hex bags and books to find what he needs. A needle. String. Buttons, hay, herbs, and lots of tarp.

There’s one ingredient missing though. Sam sneaks over to Dean’s room, hoping his brother hadn’t nested there yet. Luck shines on him. It’s empty save the empty cartons, bags, and bottles scattered around the room. He quickly sifts through all of it for a single hair on Dean’s pillow. Then Sam races back to the library to set to work.

Unfortunately with all the technical knowledge, Sam isn’t the craftiest witch. His thread zig-zags unevenly in the overstuffed doll’s body, and the button eyes are placed crookedly on the ‘face’. One of its arms are longer than the other, and the legs disproportionately half the size of the body.

“That’s not important,” he says, scanning his handiwork, “it’s a vessel for the spell. Nothing more.” Clutching the doll tightly to his chest, Sam moves onto the next stage in his hastily thrown together plan. Find Dean.

If not in his room, Sam knows the only other place he will be.

Peeking into the kitchen, hidden by the shadows, Sam sees his brother chomping on a massive sandwich. Headphones affixed to his ears, another break that lessens the difficulty of Sam’s work.

Sam brings the doll to his lips, almost an inch of space between it and the head. “Dean,” he says, “eating isn’t going to fix anything. You’re being a stubborn idiot, hurting Cas and yourself in the process.”

Dean stiffens, cheeks puffed out with food. Swallowing, he looks at the sandwich in his hands. Then places it on the dish in disgust.

Smirking, Sam continues. “You can’t do this anymore, pretend that you’re okay. Because you’re not. There’s only one thing that can fix this - Cas . Don’t be afraid, anymore, Dean. You know what to do… now give it to him.”

A slight rustle in the kitchen forces Sam to press himself against the hallway, doll smothered in his stomach. With the limited vision he has, Sam watches Dean shuffle towards an exit. His .

“The other way,” Sam suggests to the doll, “go the other way!”

Dean pauses, brows scrunching for a moment until they disappear with a turn. His brother retreats the other way, Sam breathing a sigh of relief.

With the kitchen abandoned, Sam claims the space for himself. Wraps Dean’s grotesque creation to preserve it if he wants and grabs a beer for himself. Takes Dean’s place and drinks in victory.

When the bottle hits the table Sam feels an unnerving stare tickling his chin.

The voodoo doll stares at him from its resting place, reminding him of the steps taken to achieve success. Without annoyance or excitement distorting his thoughts, Sam reviews what he did with a clear mind. How he used magic to influence his brother’s actions. His brother who confessed how much he struggles with identifying which were his own choices and which were those of a higher power.

His beer tastes flat. “What did I do…” he sighs, leaning on the table. Sam cannot stop Dean, probably on the phone with Cas. Helped across the final obstacle with Sam’s magic.

“It’s all for the best,” he reminds himself, “it was a one-time thing.”

Unable to take the judgmental glare from the expressionless doll, Sam snatches it and heads to his room. Hides it in his nightstand drawer and leaves for the library again.

Hoping his ‘help’ didn’t drive the wedge deeper.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

All day, Sam stalked Dean’s every movement. From breakfast in the morning to cautiously snooping around the corner when he went to the bathroom. Curious to see if his suggestion from yesterday carried over. However nothing seemed too bizarre.

Actually Dean fell into normalcy, yesterday’s magical shove exactly what he needed to climb from the hole he wallowed in. Dean changed into actual clothes and set about doing chores. Cleaning floors, folding laundry - while it wasn’t research Sam took the signs as symbols of recovery. Dean moves at his own pace, and will research when he feels ready. Given the unburdened state of his shoulders, it could be any day.

By the time night rolls around, Sam lulled into easy comfort.

Suddenly the Bunker door slams open with the force of a hurricane, echoing throughout the cavernous building. Sam, on his way to the kitchen, spins on his heel. Drops his book to reach for his gun. Freezing only when he notices the recognizable figure gazing down at them. Chest heaving with words he stutters to speak.

“Cas?” Dean asks, hold on his gun limp, “Cas… what are you?”

“Did you mean it?”

Dean stiffens in his seat, cold metal of his weapon clattering to the floor. Sam, thankful it was on safety, finds his nerves fraying further after noticing the tense way Dean holds himself. “What?” he asks, breaking his and Cas’s stare.

“Did… you… mean it?” Each step carries a blow more powerful than any amount of Heavenly wrath. Dean flinches with each point of contact between the stairs and Cas. Retreats into his shell the closer Cas flies.

Sam rushes between them before Cas lays a hand on Dean. His mind races with an apology, heart sinking at how his plan soured. “Cas, it’s -”

“Quiet,” he tells him, “This doesn’t concern you.”

“But -” “Dean,” Cas says, softer now. Like they’re in the eye of his storm. “Dean, you left me a message. Did you mean it?”

His brother drags the answer out. Rubs his neck, then his shoulder, and finally squeezes his cheeks and releases a puff of air. “Look,” he starts, “if you’re reacting this bad -”

“That’s not what I asked.” Cas’s lip trembles when he asks again, “Did you mean it ?” A shine catches Sam’s eye, and at first he thinks it’s his friend’s blade. Only, on closer inspection, he realizes it’s Cas’s phone. “Dean, please -”

“Yes, I did.” Dean keeps his lids closed shut, wrinkles layered over each other on his face while he braces for impact. “I… I always did, Cas,” he admits. A whisper Sam strains to hear.

“Dean…” Cas pushes past Sam and lunges for Dean. Sam shouts, lost in the clatter of the chair and the other’s yelps. He strides over to pry Cas off his brother, and nearly trips over his own feet when Sam sees Dean’s arms wind tight around Cas’s midsection. Hears the familiar sounds of an almost-not fight that makes his ears burst into flames. Peeking at their faces, Sam confirms his suspicions.

They’re kissing. Through tears, smiles, and laughter, they kiss. Cas pulls back, gasping for breath. Forehead against Dean’s, he asks, “All this time?”

“Of course,” Dean says, “I might not have known it but… looking back, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Aware of how their lips drift toward each other again, Sam clears his throat. Dean tears his gaze away and remembers Sam’s presence. He sits up, Cas in his lap, and smiles with too much innocence. “Hey Sam…”

“Hey,” he says, looking between them, “so…” “So…” Dean shrugs, “so this is a thing?”

“Apparently…” “My apologies Sam,” Cas says, standing. Offers a hand to Dean and when he rises to full height does not let go. “I was a little… focused on my mission.”

“Your… your mission,” Sam frowns, ache surfacing from the depths of his consciousness to nudge at his temple. “You mean to Heaven -”

Cas flushes a worrisome crimson. “I… I almost forgot…”

“Forgot what?”

“I had parked outside Heaven’s gate when I noticed my phone,” he turns to Dean, “after listening I forgot all about Chuck, about -”

Dean shushes him, gently running his thumb across Cas’s cheek. “It’s okay. You can go to Heaven some other time. Right now it’s more important you’re here and we can…” His gaze briefly flits over to Sam. “We can discuss what was said… in private?”

“Private?”

“My room,” Dean clarifies. The words hissed under breath as if speed could muddle their intention. Sam and Cas understood regardless.

“Of course,” Cas beams. Twitches while he tries to measure the amount of joy he shows on his face but unable to fight the curl of his lips. “Much more important things to talk about.” He follows Dean out of the room, Sam left behind with an upturned chair, Dean’s gun, confusion, and a phone.

Cas’s phone.

Sam snatches it without hesitation. Righting the fallen chair, he opens the phone with no hesitation. Concern for his friend’s privacy very low on his radar, overpowered by the burning curiosity to figure out what Dean said to inspire an action like Cas’s embrace. And why he returned it.

Since Cas doesn’t have a password protecting his phone, it takes a few seconds to find the evidence he needs.

Sam hovers over the play button, conscious finally kicking in. Wonders if he truly needs to hear an obviously intimate conversation that, in the grand scheme of their life, does not involve him. But then he thinks about the voodoo doll he has sitting in his dresser, and begins the voicemail. Knowing that none of this would be possible without his interference.

He listens, and sees the whole picture for what it is.

“Hey Cas, it’s… it’s me, Dean. I’m - uh… I’m calling because I, well, because I thought about praying and then I thought about how Chuck could listen in on that like some perv…” Some shame oozes into Sam. “But this, it feels like a prayer. You’re probably feeling a little twinge, right now, aren’t you? Probably not now, because you didn’t answer the phone. But whatever you’re doing you might… and prayer or no prayer, Chuck seems to know what goes on in our lives anyway so… I guess I got to get over it. It’s not like this is a dirty secret. Even though I’ve kind of… kind of felt like it was. For a long time. Too long. When I… when I should have been not doing that.”

“Cas, I… I love you.” The bombshell explodes without prompt, Sam nearly losing the rest of Dean’s voicemail in the whistling fallout. “I don’t really say it and when I do, I… it comes out all wrong. Because you look sad afterwards like I don’t mean it the way you think I do. But I do. I love you in the purest sense of the word, man. For so long I’ve been afraid of you knowing that and of… of loving you, but I shouldn’t be. If I’d said all this sooner I… maybe you wouldn’t have left. Or it would have hurt more when you did. Don’t know how it can hurt more than it is now… I already feel like there’s a crater in my chest because when you moved on you took my heart with you. Even though I tried to not let that happen. Thought that us, everything that happened was because of Chuck because you’re his kid and… you have to admit, it’s a hell of a story…” A wet chuckle rasps over the line, followed by a labored breath. “S’why I kept you an arm’s length away during the ghost-pocalypse. Why I’ve been struggling since then I… I don’t know what’s real and what’s your Dad. Figured I could sort my life out but Chuck putting himself back on the board sent my already shaky sense of self into a tailspin.”

“But him being back also… I think I’ve gotten a sense of how he writes us. On what he forced on us. Everything he ever wrote has been about bringing the maximum amount of pain. All geared towards driving our family apart. Every cruel act and lie and whisper into my head to do the wrong thing were him. And of that list, Cas… you’re none of those things. You make us whole - make me whole. That… Chuck doesn’t want that. The fact we keep finding each other after all we’ve been through, what tries to keep us apart, from demons to God, that’s all the proof I need that we’re it for each other. We… we’re real. ”

“And I let Chuck feed me a crock of shit and I spiraled. Been spiraling since mom died and Jack… I, I can’t blame Chuck for all of it, though I’d loved to. He threw all of that at me and I swung exactly like he planned. I’m sorry, Cas, for not treating you the way you deserve. Showing you exactly what you mean to me. I can’t change the past but I want to fix the future, so you’ll be in it. It might be too little too late… and for once we can’t make all the pieces fit like they used to. Knowing that, I don’t regret telling you I love you. Because if we’re gonna be able to beat Chuck, we need all of us together. Working as a unit. A family. I won’t be much help to anyone if I can’t be in the same room with you, choking on all these feelings. After he’s gone, if you still want to move on… I won’t blame you. All we’ve been through, you deserve happiness the same as us. If it’s with someone else… then they’re a right lucky bastard or bitch, whoever they are. So… yeah, that’s it. I’m gonna, I’m gonna hang up? Yeah, bye -”

It cuts off, the answering machine’s voice speaking over Dean’s about how there’s no more room left on Cas’s phone for the rest of his message. Not that it matters since everything that was supposed to be said found its way out of Dean’s mouth.

Sam wipes at his eyes, smiling at the phone. Chest filled with happiness for two of the most important people in his life. That they were able to wade through the never-ending flood and reunite again. Cards laid fully on the table, nothing in their hands.

With a little help. The voodoo’s vacant stare flashes in Sam’s mind, reminding him of how he whispered into it to bring about this confession. His stomach churns at the thought. The guild he swallowed down returning with a vengeance. But then it all settles as he considers his exact command.

Worded with no intention of romance, Sam wanted Dean to grow up and realize Cas held no fault in what went down with Chuck. But his brother went the extra measure, shoveling part of his repressed, forty-year old bullshit into the furnace as a grand gesture to show his angel that there was more than one endgame to be had.

Laughing, Sam places the phone down and stands. “Dean and Cas…” he says, years of memories coloring themselves anew given the necessary context. “How could I’ve been so blind…” He squints, lips thinning. “Chuck… that’s why.”

He flattens his palm against his wound, the skin dully flaring giving Sam the impression that his nightmares will be extra bloody tonight. “At least one of us will have sweet dreams,” he sighs, shuffling to his room.

Sleep is far from his mind, especially given what awaits him when his head hits the pillow, but Sam walks with purpose. To tie up the last loose end of this misadventure.

The voodoo doll hadn’t moved since he used it last. Resting against a well-worn spell book, awake. Sam picks it up and pinches the thread tying it together.

“Nothing’s ever going to control our lives again, Chuck… you hear me?”

The string stays where it was, the doll still whole. Sam rubs it between his thumb and finger, wickedness striking in the final hour before the doll’s demise. An impish grin unfurls across his face. “After this,” he amends, “After tonight… I already helped Dean make one healthy choice, who’s to say I can’t suggest a few others.”

Sam replaces the doll in his hand with the spell book, reclining on his bed to wait. Reads until the clock ticks closer to midnight and then beyond. When his eyes can barely hold themselves open any longer and the neon green numbers glow in single digits, Sam grabs the voodoo doll of his brother once more. Whispers the prank in a scratchy voice, mirth poking through. Finished, he sets both items down and readies for bed.

Looking forward to sleep and what awaits him in the morning.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam stretches on his path to the Bunker’s exit, readying for another late morning jog. A road block appears, however, in the form of his brother in similar dress. Yellow hoodie snug over his chest and a pair of sweatpants with dried stains by the pockets. Sneakers Sam wasn’t sure Dean owned tied tight over his feet. “Dean?” he starts, “you going out?”

“Hey,” Dean says, eyes brightening, “I’m glad I caught you.”

“You are?”

“Yeah…” His brother rubs at his neck awkwardly, a ketchup-colored blush staining his cheeks, complimenting his mustard hoodie. “Yeah, I… I wanted to see if you’d let me come jogging with you?”

“You… want to go jogging?” A question not really framed like one. Sam already knowing the answer.

Dean nods, “Yeah, I… I don’t know. Last night, Cas and I had this talk about unhealthy habits and what I could do to stop them. When I woke up I… I guess it bled into other aspects of my life, because I couldn’t get the idea of jogging out of my head!” He chuckles, dipping up to gaze at Sam for a brief moment. “Weird, right?”

Sam finds it the exact opposite. Because after giving his brother and angel a few hours of privacy, he snatched the Dean voodoo doll from his nightstand and whispered a few things to it. Incepted the idea of wanting to jog with him into his mind. Still he agrees, since Sam didn’t expect there to be a logical narrative supporting his prank. “You’re always welcome to jog with me, Dean,” he says.

“Perfect.” They continue their trek, Dean mirroring Sam’s stretches with a few second-delay.

At the foot of the stairs, Sam stops them again. “Wait, did Cas want to join us?”

Dean shakes his head, giving Sam hope his other message wormed its way in. “Sent him out on a grocery run. Had the strangest craving for, uh… veggie bacon.”

“Veggie bacon?” Sam gasps, “In the Meat Man’s kitchen?”

“Shut up.” Dean shoves him, stomping up the steps, “That was so dumb… regret ever telling you that.”

Sam follows with a doggish grin, “At least you realize it now!” Dean flips him off, exiting the Bunker. He watches the door slip close, trailing behind at his own pace.

His brother’s voodoo doll sits in his hoodie pocket, weighing him down. While Sam’s actions were only to Dean’s benefit or boyish pranks, thinking about what he did still makes his skin crawl. His gunshot tingles with a whirlpool of energy. A reminder that he acted somewhat like the very being they want to take down.

“But that was it,” Sam promises, “After breakfast I’ll explain to Dean what I did.” An argument might occur, and he will accept whatever words Dean will throw his way. It won’t be a huge blow up, Sam thinks, since Cas is there. Cas is there and it’s because of Dean. Sam prompted his brother but in no way did he imagine the voicemail Dean would leave. The feelings that he poured into his message. That was all him. Like they’ve done their whole lives, they’ve taken what they were given and fit the rules around them. No matter who tries to break their team apart the three of them come back together stronger.

“Sammy!” Dean calls for him, “You tired? We haven’t even started, man!”

He chuckles, leaving the Bunker. “Says the man who is jogging for the first time today.”

“It can’t be that hard.”

Sam smirks at him, “Just be lucky it’s cold out.”

“Why?”

“Because when the weather’s warm I like to jog barefoot.”

The implicit threat goes over Dean’s head, stranding him in his confusion. “... Why ?”

“Y’know,” Sam claps Dean on the shoulder, “If you decide you want to stick with this after today… I can show you.”

Dean huffs with a familiar grumpy expression, although a twinkle of curiosity glistens in his stare. “Maybe,” he says, “Let’s see how this first jog goes.”

“Your call, man. Your call.” They run, Sam leading ahead of Dean. Not going too fast so he can stay with Dean. Out of breath, bouncing, and at points - between light-hearted jabs shared between brothers - soaring .

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

we got so close, so close to love

a tyrus oneshot that started as a vent fic and ended as something i only wish would happen to me

word count: 2,291 (it’s a big boi)

—————————

It’s been two years since they’ve last said a word to one another.

Honestly? Things had been going great, they’d gotten past Buffy’s old grudge, the gun incident, and Costume Day. Their friendship was going steady, and it even seemed like it could be leading to more.

And then it did.

TJ confessed his feelings to Cyrus at Andi’s 14th birthday party, and it was perfect. They sat on a bench away from everyone else, fairy lights and stars twinkling around them. He explained the real reasons behind everything that went down on Costume Day, and Cyrus told him he returned his feelings almost a little too eagerly. If their friends noticed they were that much more happy and clingy during the rest of the party, they didn’t say anything.

And that’s when it all went wrong.

The next day, Cyrus sent TJ a text that said, “We can’t talk anymore. Bye, TJ.” Completely out of the blue, unprompted. It didn’t make any sense. The most wonderful thing had just happened the night before, why did it have to end so soon?

But it didn’t matter, because it did end, and when TJ tried to text him back, all he got was a message saying that he’d been blocked. So, he figured he had a pretty valid reason to be crying on and off for the next few days, you know, considering he just lost the one person who knew him better than anyone, who he lo— really liked. Actually, fuck it, he loved him. A lot. And now he was gone.

When trying to go up to him and talk to him the next day, he was only thrown a pitiful look from Andi and Buffy, with the latter adding, “I’m sorry, but you have to go, TJ.”

Cyrus never even looked up at him.

The two drifted apart after that, and although it was entirely agonizing for TJ, he dealt with it. Most of the time, at least. If his line of sight drifted over to the brunette boy every once in a while during lunch, it was nobody’s business.

The worst part of it all was having to start high school without Cyrus. He was a lone wolf for the most part, considering the friend group stopped talking to him when Cyrus did, despite the sorry looks still thrown his way sometimes. He started talking to Reed again, who luckily had apparently learned his lesson from the gun incident. He actually kept up with his school work, and he didn’t make as many dumb jokes anymore. Plus, he came out as pan during that year, so TJ could at least relate to him a little bit more. TJ got more involved in basketball, and he occasionally went to GSA meetings now that he was out, just to scope it out and maybe meet some new people. Definitely not to run into an old friend, an old almost.

10th grade was normal throughout the majority of the year. He was finally starting to really get over the whole Cyrus situation, and although he got nostalgic over it sometimes, he knew that it was in the past. There was nothing he could do about it now. He got more help in math and got his first A-, which he may or may not have cried over, and he picked up soccer alongside basketball. He’d gotten really busy, so he didn’t spend a ton of time with friends unless they were his teammates, but the soccer players were nice enough, and he didn’t expect his friendship with Reed to last long, anyway.

This is why he was surprised to hear a text notification from his phone at the end of practice, thinking it would be an out of nowhere text from Reed. It sure as hell was an out of nowhere text, but it wasn’t exactly from Reed.

It was from Cyrus.

It read, “I have some explaining to do if you’ll let me. You know where I am.”

TJ almost didn’t want to go. It had been nearly two years since they’d last spoken, since they’d last seen each other. It took him two years to get over what had happened. Did an explanation even matter at this point? It would just be a nuisance, wouldn’t it?

At the same time, what had happened never really gave him closure. He never even got to say goodbye to him. It was going great, and then it wasn’t. TJ kinda wanted to know why.

He shoved his things into his bag and sling it over his shoulder, sneaking out without anyone noticing he was gone. Not like that was any different.

Tj walked over to the swings, nostalgia hitting him in waves, his eyes getting misty for what felt like no reason. When he arrived, he noticed two things: the swings were way rustier and more covered in cobwebs than he remembered, and that he would always recognize the back of the head of a certain brunette in an instant. He walked up slowly, unsure of how to approach this entire situation. He didn’t have to, though, because Cyrus looked behind him the second he heard footsteps. “You came.”

TJ sighed and blinked hard, forcing the light out of his eyes. “Of course I came.”

“You wanna sit?” Cyrus asked, grabbing the chain of the swing next to him.

“I-I’m good,” TJ mumbled in reply, simply stepping a bit closer.

Cyrus sighed heavily, standing up to face TJ. “So I have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Yeah, you already said that in your text,” TJ said, lifting up his hand that held his phone.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

TJ scoffed unintentionally. The old TJ would’ve done that in a heartbeat, but he’d changed. Or at least he had once. “How about the beginning? Why’d you stop talking to me? Everything was going so great, why’d it have to end so soon?”

“That’s a long story,” Cyrus muttered, twiddling his fingers.

TJ responded shortly. “That’s why I’m here, Cyrus.” After a beat of silence, he added, “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, we can just go back to ignoring each other like we have been for the past two years. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me,” Cyrus replied, sounding the most sure of himself then than he did during the entire conversation. “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have shown up if I didn’t, Cy.” The nickname didn’t mean to slip out, but he couldn’t help himself. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

Cyrus opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself. “Can we please sit down for this?”

“Fine,” TJ said, taking a seat next to Cyrus, neither of them kicking their legs up to move.

“I was so excited about us, TJ, you have no idea. I even woke up smiling, I remember. That was my first mistake. I went downstairs to get breakfast, and my stepmom saw how happy I was, so she asked about it. I figured, she’s never said anything bad about the LGBT+ community before, plus she’s a therapist so she must deal with gay patients all the time, so I wanted to tell her about me. And us. So I did.” Cyrus took a deep breath. “That was my second mistake.”

TJ’s face dropped. “Oh my g—“

“I’m not done,” Cyrus cut him off. That was new. TJ wondered if he had any influence in that.

“She called my dad in the room and told him what I told her, as if there was something wrong with it. She started bawling, saying that she was so disappointed that I would never had kids, and that I was too young to really know what I’m talking about, and that this is what happens when I hang out around ‘delinquents like you’. And my dad didn’t help either, he just stood there fuming. They made me send you that text, and block you on everything, and stop talking to you, and I did it because I’m a coward and I couldn’t handle being such a... disappointment.”

TJ gently put his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. “Cyrus, that’s horrible. I’m so, so sorry that you had to go through that alone.”

“Yeah, well, they wanted to keep it under wraps because they were so ashamed about it, so they never told anyone, including my mom and stepdad, so at least I felt more comfortable with them. I only told Andi and Buffy about it. Buffy actually wanted me to go behind their backs and keep seeing you anyway because she saw how happy you made me, but I just couldn’t do that to them.”

TJ sighed, bringing his arm back down and leaning back a bit without falling off his seat. “I get it, I still haven’t come out to my parents yet because I’m pretty positive they’re homophobic, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them, you know? And at least you were able to talk to the girls about it, even if they didn’t fully understand it.”

A small smile appeared on Cyrus’ face as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah. I’m really grateful for them.”

TJ smiled softly, happy to finally get some closure over what had happened between them. He quickly furrowed his eyebrows, however, asking, “There’s one thing I don’t get, though.”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you want to tell me now? After two years of not talking?” TJ asked, no undertones or cruelty or judgement, just curiosity.

Cyrus chuckled to himself. “I didn’t know if I would have to explain this part or not. Guess I do.”

“Hey.” TJ places his hand on Cyrus’. “I’ve already forgiven you, okay? You don’t need to be worried anymore.”

“I am anyway, you should know that,” Cyrus joked, then took a deep breath. “Anyway, my stepmom and my dad said that they had to move because the shrink office they operate out of relocated. And we got in a pretty big fight, and I brought up the whole gay thing again because they basically disregarded it and pretended it didn’t happen for like a year and a half which is pretty damn frustrating, and they said that I might as well live with my mom and stepdad, so I said that yeah, I might as well. And, well, now I do, and I only have to go see my other set of parents every month since they still technically share custody of me. But, they’re not a problem anymore, TJ.”

“That’s great! Wait—”

“I can talk to you again, if you want me to,” Cyrus mumbled, a bashful smile on his face.

“I mean, of course I want to talk to you again, Underdog.”

Cyrus smiled and bit his lip at the oh so familiar nickname.

“But—“

And then his face dropped.

“If you were thinking about anything more than that, anything romantic, you know, I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” TJ explained, trying to word his emotions as carefully as possible.

“That’s,” Cyrus exhaled, “fine. I wasn’t expecting to jump into anything, anyway. I just really wanted you back in my life,” he chuckled.

“I’m glad, I wanted you back too,” TJ replied, a goofy grin on his face that could only be induced by Cyrus.

Cyrus groaned, leaning back and almost falling out of his swing, “You have no idea how hard these past two years have been, oh my goodness!”

TJ laughed, his first real laugh in a long time, “I know, right?”

Cyrus looked down, then back at TJ. “At least we don’t have to face it alone anymore.”

TJ simply giggled in response, just so, so grateful for having him back.

Flash forward two months, it was as if the two had never been separated in the first place. TJ began sitting with their friend group at lunch again, everyone genuinely happy to see him. They all went to his basketball and soccer games, Cyrus bringing posters every time, while he tagged along with the group for Buffy’s basketball games and Jonah’s frisbee meets. He and Cyrus frequently went on “hangouts”, which Andi and Buffy loved to tease Cyrus about. And, it was on one of those hangouts when TJ finally got the guts to do what he’d been wanting to do for two years.

They went out for ice cream on a Saturday evening, and were sitting on a park bench enjoying their chocolate soft serve and blueberry vanilla twist (guess who’s who). TJ looked over to Cyrus, who had some ice cream on his face, and it was almost subconscious the way he lifted his hand to wipe it off. Cyrus looked right into his eyes, and TJ knew then and there that he could get lost in those chocolate galaxies for the rest of his life. His hand stayed on Cyrus’ cheek, and he whispered as if he would break the moment if he spoke any louder when he asked, “Can I try something?”

Cyrus didn’t even answer, he simply quickly got the memo and leaned in to kiss TJ like he’d been wanting to for the past two months, or rather, two years. It didn’t quite feel like fireworks going off and a chorus singing behind them, it felt more like an electric shock going down each of their spines while a warm blanket was wrapped around their shoulders. They touched foreheads as they pulled apart, giggling to themselves, because it finally happened. Two years of waiting, and neither of them would’ve traded it for anything in the world if they knew it would’ve ended like that.

Finally.

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel: Season 10 - A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 10 Summary Analysis

Dean becomes a demon and goes on an extended vacation with Crowley. Cas is dying because his temporary grace is waning, but he still does whatever he can to save Dean. Cas has a chance to connect with a fellow angel, Hannah, but he gives that up in favor of helping the Winchesters. Cas embraces his humanity more and more throughout the season, taking a particular interest in helping Claire Novak. Cas also works tirelessly with Sam to figure out a way to save Dean from the Mark of Cain. Dean has trouble forgiving himself for what he does while under the influence of the Mark, and his self-loathing grows over the course of the season. Dean resigns himself to his fate, and after Charlie’s death, he goes off the deep end, almost killing Cas.

My interpretation: Dean and Cas both have people who develop affection for them (Crowley and Hannah, respectively), but neither one of them reciprocate because they’re hung up on each other. Castiel’s experience being human the previous season helps him make space to more fully embrace his connection to humanity, and his desire to be there for Claire ties him to Earth more than ever before. Cas also grows continually more distant from heaven as the season progresses. Dean‘s self-hatred and resignation about the Mark of Cain close him off from the people who love him, but he is able to resist killing Cas because of the deep connection they share.

10.01 Black

While talking on the phone with Sam, Cas says he misses Dean.

Crowley has grown attached to Dean during their extended vacation, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.

Cas demonstrates his love for humanity while speaking with Hannah: “Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos, but not all bad comes from it—art, hope, love, dreams.” “But those are human things.” “Yes.”

10.02 Reichenbach

When Cas finds out that Dean is a demon, he drops everything to help, even though Hannah doesn’t think it’s a good idea: “Castiel, I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on you.” “Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they’re the best men I’ve ever known. And they’re my friends.”

Crowley makes a joke about the nature of his relationship with Dean: “It’s over. What can I say? Crazy ones, well, they’re good for a fling, but they’re just not relationship material.”

10.03 Soul Survivor

Cas explains his desire to help the Winchesters, looking forlorn as he speaks of Dean’s current state: “Sam is alone in this. He’s attempting to change Dean from demon to human with a cure of sanctified blood, but there’s no guarantee that will work. If it doesn’t, then Dean is gone, and the demon must be dealt with.”

Hannah has grown attached to Castiel as they’ve been traveling together, but Cas doesn’t reciprocate her feelings: “Um, Hannah, you know this road we’re on, it’s dangerous.” “Alright.” “Um, we can’t afford to lose our way.” “I know that. I’m sorry about the map.” “No detours of ANY kind.” “Castiel, if these are metaphors and you’re attempting another human communication, it isn’t working.” “I’m just trying to say that this mission is everything.” “I know that.” “Getting to Dean and hunting these rogues... I’m not at full capacity, so I... we need total focus.” “Like a laser. Got it.” “Just, I’ve been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur.” “Distractions...” “Emotions, feelings, they’re dangerous temptations.” “How very biblical, Castiel.” “I don’t mean to be unkind.” “You don’t need to be kind.” “I just... I’m trying to keep our priorities clear.” “Not to worry, then. I’m very clear on my priorities, and yours.”

Cas understands Dean’s point of view more clearly than Sam does: “Even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human.” “Well, I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier.”

Cas visits Dean’s room to check on him, and Dean appreciates his presence: “You look terrible.” “You know, it wouldn’t kill ya to lie every now and again.” “No, it wouldn’t kill me, I just... you...” “Forget it. Well you, on the other hand, you... lookin’ good. So, are you back?” “At least temporarily. Yeah, it’s a long story—Crowley, stolen grace, there’s a female outside in the car... another time.” “Well, thank you for, um, steppin’ in when you did.”

Cas helps make Dean feel better about how he treated Sam as a demon: “I’m glad you’re here, man.” “Hey, maybe you should, um, take some time before you get back to work—allow yourself to heal. It’s, uh, I don’t know... timing might be right. Heaven and hell, they seem reasonably back in order. It’s quiet out there.”

10.05 Fan Fiction

Destiel is mentioned when we find out that the musical actors playing Dean and Cas (Siobhan and Kristen) are a couple in real life. Sam is amused by it, even joking about a pairing of him and Cas, but it makes Dean uncomfortable.

10.07 Girls, Girls, Girls

Hannah flirts with Cas and makes him feel flustered.

Hannah kisses Cas in order to convince her vessel’s husband that she left him for another man, but then she decides to leave her vessel and return to heaven, explaining Castiel’s influence on her: “Being on Earth, working with you, I’ve felt things, human things—passions, hungers, to shower, feel water on my skin, to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I get when I saw him, her husband—his anger and grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These feelings, they aren’t for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it’s time to step aside. Goodbye, Castiel.”

10.09 The Things We Left Behind

Inspired by Hannah’s choice to take responsibility for how her actions have affected her vessel, Cas seeks out Claire Novak.  He explains that his worldview has changed: “Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far to easy to do your worst.”

After Claire takes off, Cas calls Dean and Sam for help. Dean is reluctant at first, but agrees to help when he sees how important it is to Cas. When Dean gives Cas some advice, Cas demonstrates how much respect he has for Dean: “Alright, so spill. What’s with the family reunion?” “I dunno. Just been thinking about people. I’ve helped some, but I’ve hurt some.” “So you’re havin’ a mid-life crisis.” “Well, I’m extremely old. I think I’m entitled.” “Cas, listen to me. There’s some stuff you just gotta let go, k? The people you let down, the ones you can’t save, you gotta forget about ‘em, for your own good.” “That what you do?” “That’s the opposite of what I do, but I ain’t exactly a role model.” “That’s not true.”

Cas sees through Dean’s tough exterior: “How are you, Dean?” “Fine. I’m great.” “No, you’re not.” “Yeah, well, I’ve lost the black eyes, so that’s a plus, but I still have this.” “Is the Mark of Cain still affecting you? ...Dean?”

Dean confides in Cas and asks him to do what he knows Sam cannot do for him: “Cas, I need you to promise me something.” “Of course.” “If I do go darkside, you gotta take me out.” “What do you mean?” “Knife me, smite me, throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.”

10.10 The Hunter Games

Claire calls Cas out for defending Dean after his massacre: “Dean Winchester’s a monster.” “It’s possible there’s a little monster in all of us.” “You want me to trust you, and the fact that you’d even try to defend him just proves to me that I can’t.”

Dean expresses concern for Claire on Castiel’s behalf, and Cas asks him for help with her again: “Listen, man, if I could make it better, I would.” “That’s actually why I’m here. I was hoping you might reach out to her.” “Me?” “Yes.” “Seriously, I’m probably the last person she would wanna hear from.” “I thought there would be a connection. One extremely messed up human to another, you could explain why you murdered her only friend.” “Oh, well yeah, when you put it like that.” “All I know is she won’t talk to me. I thought if she understood the kind of man Randy was and the danger she was in, she might...” “What the hell? Why not? Long shots seem to be the theme around here.”

10.14 The Executioner’s Song

When Dean returns after defeating Cain, he entrusts the First Blade to Cas.

10.16 Paint it Black

Dean goes to confession and admits he doesn’t want to die, that he hasn’t experienced life to the fullest extent that he would like to: “Recent events, uh, make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And I don’t know, I mean, you know, there’s things, there’s people, feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.”

10.17 Inside Man

Against the express wishes of Hannah and the other angels, Cas teams up with Sam to break Metatron out of Heaven, choosing Dean over heaven yet again.

10.18 Book of the Damned

Cas refuses to forgive Metatron for what he did to Dean: “I thought we were having a moment. Can’t we be besties?” “No. Because you killed my friend.” “Oh, Dean is fine, mostly. Can’t you get past that?” “Never.”

Dean is happy to see Cas when he returns to the bunker: “Good to have you back, pal.”

10.19 The Werther Project

While Dean is under a spell, his subconscious (in the form of Benny) tries to convince him to kill himself by bringing up the possibility of hurting those around him, naming Cas before Sam: “What, you just wanna wait for the Mark to reclaim you? Go out swingin’, die topside, then what? Maybe kill a few humans? Kill Cas? Kill your brother?” “You gonna get Sam and Cas to put you down? You really think they’re gonna keep that agreement? Come on. Dean, let’s say they do. Do you think that they will ever recover from that? It will ruin them.”

10.20 Angel Heart

When Cas calls the boys for help with Claire, Dean questions whether his presence is a good idea, and Cas insists he needs him there: “I need help from both of you. You were both troubled teens. You speak her language.”

Cas uses his stern dad voice on both Claire and Dean: “No fighting.” “Yeah, tell HER that.” “BOTH of you.”

Dean and Claire grow closer and become friends.

10.21 Dark Dynasty

Cas agrees to help Sam go behind Dean’s back to crack the Book of the Damned, saying he’ll do it “for Dean.”

10.22 The Prisoner

Rowena notices how rare Cas is for choosing humans over heaven: “You’re just fascinating. An angel that rejected heaven, that’s like a fish that wants to fly or a dog that thinks he’s people.” “Well, I’m a lot like people.” “Keep telling yourself that, dear.”

After Dean kills all the Stynes, Cas tries to stop him, explaining that his perspective on the situation is unique: “Maybe you could fight the Mark for years, maybe centuries, like Cain did, but you cannot fight it forever. And when you finally turn, and you will turn, Sam and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I’m the one who will have to watch you murder the world, so if there’s even a small chance that we can save you, I won’t let you walk out of this room.” “Oh, you think you have a choice.” “I think the Mark is changing you.” “You’re wrong.” “Am I? Because the Dean Winchester I know would never have murdered that kid.”

When Cas tries to stop Dean from leaving, Dean beats him to a bloody pulp. Dean gets close to killing him, but resists the urge at the last second: “No, Dean. Please...”