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jemmo · 3 years

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thank you to everyone that tagged me!!! i’ve never felt so popular in my life this is not good for my ego lol but im nosy so very much enjoyed reading all your responses @praninlove @nongnoopran @dribs-and-drabbles @santinie @ohmnomnom @patshoney

1. your all time favorite bl and why

ummm yeah its bad buddy. a bl has never really come close to this nor do i think it ever will. bc as well as all the billions of ways I and everyone else has gushed about this show, do you ever feel like a show has been hand-crafted just for you?? like it contains everything you love, all your favourite plot beats and character traits and storytelling devices. even the styling, the music, the sets, the cinematography, like its so up your street, it hits all the points, checks all the boxes, even the ones you didnt know were there. yeah, thats bad buddy for me. its like the holy and omnipotent p’aof plucked my dream show out of my head and just made it for me. and it is everything.

2. that one bl that scarred you for life

yeah probs MODC, not even bc the ending broke me bc i was so invested in the story and characters, more so that it just felt... wrong? like bad and poorly done, and i’m more scarred that the show decided to leave me with the message of you will never be happy all good in the world is temporary when there could’ve been such a positive and uplifting ending... yeah, it sucked.

3. is there any bl that made you feel very single?

bad buddy. their relationship dynamic is truly my dream. and not even just bc of their beautifully easy intimacy, or all their effortless cute moments. its more that i’m never gonna have a forced rival turned friend turned fake enemies turned maybe friends turned lovers turned husbands soulmate ever in my life. and thats a crime.

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

this one took me too long to think about bc there’s a list of things i’d like changed. but one of my absolute pet peeves is over the top jealousy. and dont get me wrong, i do like jealousy as a plot point if its done well. but i cant stand when all it takes is a character breathing next to another guy for his partner to get pissed. and even worse when he tries to make them feel bad and guilty about it when they literally did nothing wrong. thats when its just excessive and unnecessary drama and plain bad writing and i hate it.

5. that one bl you detest (don’t hold back)

this isn’t exactly detest but i’ll say it here bc i feel like its one of my only *controversial* opinions. i dont like light on me. where other korean bls aren’t long enough and rushed, light on me just felt unnecessarily dragged out. the plot moved at a snails pace and was just bland to the point that i cant really recall what happened. i wasn’t invested in the love triangle bc the only character i really liked was shinwoo, and i just didnt get anything much from taekyung, like i never felt that he really liked either of them. this is probably bc i dont care much for k-dramas in general and light on me felt very k-drama-ey but yeah. i very much appreciate it for what it did for bls in korea, but it aint for me.

6. your top five:

1. bad buddy (you stay there you aint going anywhere)

2. wbl (and s2 bc i actually liked it)

3. itsay (and ipytm bc again i actually liked it)

4. he’s coming to me

5. atots

7. that trashy bl that you lowkey like

probs futs. i wasn’t around as it was airing but i hear ppl didn’t vibe with it. but binging it idk it was kinda just some harmless, dumb fun. i ddin’t get amazing chemistry between the leads but it wasnt the worst ive seen by far, and even though the drama was kinda contrived and messy, i kinda live for that mess.

8. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know)

to my star by farrrrrrrr. it didnt do anything genius but its easily the best chemistry ive seen between leads in korean bls.

9. But also your top 3 for kbls:

1) to my star 2) where your eyes linger 3) you make me dance

10. season 2? which one?

i will say bad buddy purely bc i am biased and want to live in their world for as long as they’ll let me. i love pat and pran more than i could say and they could do a whole s2 of them just going to work, eating out and doing household chores and i’d hail it as a masterpiece.

but also, if i’d trust anyone to handle a s2 and not make it messy and unnecessarily dramatic and about cheating, it’d be p’aof. i just feel like he’d have the ability to create a storyline that was interesting and engaging and with stakes without having to separate the main couple and i’d love to see what he could come up with.

11. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

kinnporsche, between us, to my star s2, vice versa, the eclipse, moonlight chicken, never let me go

12. tag them!

if you see this and wanna do it then go for it, consider yourself tagged by me. but i will also tag @thecookiemonster77 i dont know if you’ve done this yet but i wanna see your responses 👀👀👀👀👀

#bless all you lovely ppl for tagging me and again facilitating my rants #you are all enablers and complicit in all my crimes from now on #made by jemmo

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asuka--langley--soryu · 3 years

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tagged by: @so1987 thank you!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

I had just watched nge and wanted an asuka url and this was available lol. I have desperately and deeply wanted the single dash version for literally years but its never been available :// if you are hoarding it then pls know we are mortal enemies on this earth and i can and will fight you for it

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

well, first of all, this is a sideblog lol. my main is @paradoxspaces

I’ve had various sideblogs over the years but at this point the only active one (aside from here) is an mcr/music sideblog @so-ingestible. Once upon a time I ran @isgeorgehwbushdeadyet which is uhhh obviously now defunct but remains my pride and joy

3. how long have you been on tumblr? jfc since literally 2011 :/ ive seen it all and somehow stuck around which idk is probs in the dsm somewhere

4. do you have a queue tag? Is just ‘q’ right now, but back in the day I did used to have one of those dumb punny ones bc it was The Thing To Do

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? Started this blog bc I’d finished nge and was absolutely out of my mind about it and needed somewhere to vent that lol. Also I’d gotten this URL and it seemed a shame to waste it.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? this asuka has been one of my go-to pfps for yeaaars across various platforms. I like how judgemental she looks.

(tho just between you and me i have been thinking of changing it soon so mayhaps watch out for that)

7. why did you choose your header? I like the ‘red sea’ image and it’s not super obtrusive/obnoxious

8. which post of yours has the most notes? I have no idea lol I dont keep track of that. like i said i’ve been here since 2011 and have had multiple sideblogs in that time so is more work than its worth

9. how many mutuals do you have? is there a way to find this out that isn’t literally going through and counting? bc im like. not doing that.

10. how many followers do you have? 10k on here

11. how many people do you follow? 688

12. have you ever made a shitpost? lol yea sure whatever that even means

13. how often do you use tumblr? uh god probs too often? its really the only social media I use tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? lol no, not really and especially not at this point. i just.....dont take tumblr seriously enough to muster the kind of energy to get into the maladjusted social thunderdome that goes on here. obvs i have been known to get snippy w anons and post about disagreeing w certain opinions bc i am, at the end of the day, a bitch, but i dont think thats the same thing lol.

however i will say that on my main (and off tumblr as well, unfortunately) circa 2012 I used to throw myself passionately and heroically into the most god awful unholy trenches of the vriscourse bc idk apparently i had nothing better to do back then and thought it was my mission from god to argue w people on reddit. if you know anything about the relationship between any given unmedicated 14 yr old prelesbian meangirl and vriska then you can probably guess how i acted--which is to say like an absolutely rabid fucking animal.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to share this’ posts? i ignore any posts longer than two sentences as a general rule

16. do you like tag games? (+) 17. do you like ask games? yes to both!

18. Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? o christ once again i have no fucking clue. if youre famous lmk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nah lol none of you are real

20. tags (no pressure!) o geez i will come back and edit this when im home xoxo

#this has been a text post #obvi im not serious about ignoring posts consiering my own long posting loool #but i do tend to scroll past things longer than a paragraph if they dont immediately grab me #mine

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 4 years

Photo

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Or on FF

Tagging: @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook @itsfabianadocarmo

Chapter 7: Trust

“How do you think you’re doing so far? A few more days and you will have completed your first two weeks.”

“I guess it’s going well. I’m not really sure how else it could go.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Killian. It’s not easy facing truth’s we aren’t ready to see. And you’ve been handling that well.”

Killian wasn’t sure he agreed with the good Doc. The only thing he had faced was admitting out loud that the accident was his fault. Perhaps he was a bit surprised that he had told Emma. He didn’t expect to do that. Honestly, he had followed the girl out to apologize for being so harsh in group, only to end up telling her about the accident. He didn’t know what it was about Emma, but the woman had him a bit off his game.

“So, today let’s talk about what happened after the accident. More specifically the loss of your hand, how did you handle the news?”

He straightened in his chair, rubbing his palm on his knee. “Like anyone who is just told that their entire life had changed.” He sat back in his seat and shrugged his shoulders. “Really badly.”

“When did you find out?”

“I woke up in the hospital sometime after the accident, my brother Liam was there. I could tell something was wrong. He told me about my hand first. I guess I was in shock. I didn’t react at all honestly. It was like being numb. I don’t have any other way of explaining it. I’m a musician and suddenly that’s all gone.”

“You play guitar?”

“Played. I dunno what I’ll do now. Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. It seems so trivial considering everything else I lost.”

“I wouldn’t say trivial, Killian. It’s your life. Your livelihood.”

“Rob always tells me I have my good looks and acting to fall back on, but honestly I did all that because I could. Music was my passion; it was something I did because I wanted to.”

“And that is something that the accident took away from you.”

Killian shuddered with guilt to even feel anger about the loss of a career. “None of that mattered after he told me about Milah and the baby.”

“And how did you handle that?”

“I lost my mind. Ripped my IV out, Liam had to bring in security to restrain me. When I finally calmed down, he asked if I had been drinking that night. The look on his face showed so much disappointment. I got angry, kicked him out of my room. Refused to speak to him for days.”

“Why do you think you reacted that way?”

“My whole life I’ve been living in Liam’s shadow. He was always the golden boy. Dad used to tell me that if the Jones brothers were to make anything of their lives, I just needed to watch my brother. He was the best of us.”

“What does Liam do for a living?”

“He’s a hero.”

“In your mind, I’m sure.”

“No like an actual damn hero. While I was making music on a stupid guitar, he was off fighting in a war.”

“Do you feel like your success was not earned because it wasn’t won the same way as Liam’s?”

“It wasn’t honorable like his. I sing stupid lyrics about dumb shit that doesn’t matter to anyone but me.” He stood up and started pacing the back of the room. “The night we got our record deal, his convoy got ambushed. I got the call that night that that his platoon had gone missing, presumed dead or captured. Days went by before we heard anything. A week later he came home a goddamn hero. Walked his whole platoon out of danger, fought off an attack, and won a fucking Gold Star. I got a record contract. A fucking record contract and he saved ten people. There was no living up to that.”

“Your success shouldn’t be compared to your brother’s sacrifices. It is admirable what he did but that doesn’t mean that everything you have earned means anything less.”

He paused, considering his words but knowing that nothing he would ever do could possibly match the honor of his brother.

“Have you thought about inviting him for family day coming up?”

“I’m not certain he would come even if I did.”

Killian continued to pace behind the couch. He spent the rest of his session thinking about his brother and the disappointment he had caused in the past year. The last time he had spoken to him still haunted his dreams.

“Killian you need help.”

“Fuck off, I’m fine.”

“How much coke is up your nose right now?”

“Enough that you are killing my buzz!”

“This isn’t you. The girls, the drugs, I don’t even know you anymore. You and Milah were…”

“Don’t, don’t talk about her. You don’t know anything about her. You don’t get to say her name.”

“Killian.”

“Get out, Liam. I never want to see you again.”

When he emerged from the office, he was surprised to see Ruby waiting around outside the door.

“Hello lass, are you next?”

“No, I just wanted to check on you.”

Killian had been impressed at how nice the girl had been to him since the incident on the beach where he was unable to perform a simple act of intimacy. He smiled at the girl. “No need, love. I’m fine, barely a scratch.” He joked.

He stilled when he saw the blonde he had been avoiding approaching them from the other side of the courtyard.

“Hey.”

“Hey Emma, meeting with Hop?” Ruby asked her roommate.

“Um yeah, guess it’s my turn to get my head shrunk.”

She made eye contact with him and he quickly looked away. He hadn’t spoken to the girl since she banished him from her sight after their last group session. That didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about her since then. He cursed the fact that it had been more than once.

“If you don’t mind Ruby, I am going to take a run.” He excused himself and left the ladies staring as he walked away.

~*~

“You scared him off.” Ruby complained as soon as he ran off.

“What did I do?”

“You’re always so mean to him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Geez Rubes, I get it you’re fucking him but I’m not going to be lectured about being nice to someone that has made my life hell since I got here.”

She flinched and then narrowed her eyes. “You give as good as you get. Hell, I’m surprised the two of you haven’t fucked with the way you go at each other.”

“Not if he was the last man on this island.” She stated louder than she had intended.

“Trying to convince me or yourself?” She pursed her lips and walked away.

“Whatever.” She pushed through the door and into the office.

“Good afternoon, Emma.”

“I guess.” She said sourly.

“So, last group session we spoke a lot about Neal? You’ve implied that your parents liked him.”

“Of course, everyone likes Neal. My parents think he’s the best thing for me.”

“And what do you think?”

“No one cares what I want, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“That’s what happens when two lines show up on the fucking test, Neal.”

“How the hell did this happen?”

“It’s called sex, you asshole.”

“And you’re sure it’s mine?”

“What the hell, Neal.”

“Ok, sorry, what are you going to do now?”

“What am I going to do? Like this is all on me?”

“Emma, I’m just saying, we can’t have a damn baby.”

Later that evening as Emma’s legs worked the exercise bike in the lonely gym, she tried not to think about the child she gave away. She had seen his dark head of hair, ten fingers and ten toes, and she knew that if she even held him for ten seconds, she would have never let him go. So instead, she refused to hold him, only telling them his name as they took him from the room.

Henry.

She wondered where he was, what family had accepted him as their own. If he was being loved and taken care of.

She pushed herself faster, sweat pouring off her brow as she cycled harder and faster than she could even maintain. She screamed as loud as she could, pressing her feet against the pedals.

“I think you bested the mechanical beast.”

She jumped at the sound of another voice in the darkened silence of the gym.

“Can you not sneak up on me, for the last time?”

“Sorry, love. It was not my intention to sneak up on anyone. Apparently, you and I had the same idea for blowing off steam tonight. I can leave if you would prefer.”

She blew out a loud puff of air. “No, it’s not my gym, if you want to be here, I’m not going to stop you.”

He climbed onto the bike next to her and she noticed they each seemed to be matching the pace of the other, when she sped up, so did he. It was like a competition that neither would admit to entering.

The sweat was starting to drip down her back, her hair caked to her forehead. She chanced a glance in his direction and saw beads of sweat glistening on his skin. She wished to hell that didn’t make him more attractive than he already was. She silently wondered what it would feel like to run her hands across his wet flesh, immediately squeezing her thighs together as she worked the bike, the heat between her legs intensifying the more she glanced in his direction.

Suddenly his pace slowed beside her, and she breathed a sigh of relief, an unspoken win she would claim.

“You win.” He chuckled, with his hands in the air as he slowed his legs on the bike.

“Wasn’t aware we were in a race.” She tried acting as disinterested as she could.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She glared in his direction. “Really, what gave you that clue?”

“Are you always this difficult or is it just for my benefit?”

She slowed down her speed and turned to look at him. “What do you want from me? Because I’m just trying to get through this fucking bullshit without losing my mind.”

“May I offer a suggestion?”

“From you?”

“Try something new darling, it’s called trust.”

“I don’t trust anyone but myself.”

“Come with me.” He climbed off his bike and gestured for her to follow him.

“What are you playing at?”

“No games, love.” He stared at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight coming through the large glass windows.

“Fine.” She groaned and followed him throughout the complex, leaving the lights of the buildings behind as her eyes saw the water come into view.

They walked without speaking for ten minutes, before he stopped and bent down to remove his shoes. “Come on, love, the sand begs to be felt, not trampled on.”

She stood defiantly watching him set his shoes to the side, pulling his socks off and standing before her, barefoot in his sweatpants. She held her breath before bending down and removing her shoes and socks and setting them next to his.

“Now what?” she said dryly.

“Let’s walk.”

She followed him reluctantly, the sand cold and coarse between her toes. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, with each footstep she felt her burden of the last few days become lighter.

“When things get to be too much, I find that the water, she calms me.”

Emma looked over at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, she noticed that his expression was lighter and calmer than she had ever seen him.

“She?”

“Aye, the ocean is my mistress.”

She laughed lightly. “Do you live near the ocean?”

“Aye. Seattle. And you?”

“New York, but I spend more time in the city than I do at the beach.”

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” He joked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Getting you to talk is quite the challenge. It’s like you’re afraid. Afraid to talk, to reveal yourself. To trust me.”

“I don’t trust anyone, don’t take it personally.”

“Not even Neal?”

She laughed loudly. “Nice try.”

“Sorry, love. Just trying to figure you out.”

“Why?”

“I like a challenge, I guess. Besides, no one should go through something like this alone.”

She stopped walking. “I am alone. None of us are here for each other. I don’t know you; you don’t know me. I’m not here to make friends.”

He turned to face her. “You’re not alone, Emma.”

Emma groaned. “Oh my God, why do you even care, you hate me anyway.”

“Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me.”

For a moment she just stared at him, his eyes latched onto hers. And then she started laughing. It began in her stomach and it overwhelmed her until she was practically giddy with choked giggles and tears that formed under her eyelids. She didn’t even know why she was laughing, nothing about what was happening to her was funny, yet here she was, full belly laughs almost taking her off her feet.

When she finally calmed, he was looking at her with a smile across his face. “Wow I haven’t laughed like that in years.” She said softly.

“Long overdue then, I should say.”

He didn’t push for anything else, he simply continued the walk, taking in the views of the ocean until his watch started to beep and they both realized the time.

“Guess we should head back.”

She looked up at him, wondering what else was going on behind those eyes of his. “Um yeah.” They turned back to where they left their shoes. “Thanks.” Her voice was so quiet she wondered if he even heard her. But he simply nodded and bent down to gather his shoes.

She expected him to say something as they went their separate ways to their rooms, but he surprised her with simply a smile and a nod before heading to his room. She didn’t know what to make of Killian Jones. But for a moment they seemed to be at a truce.

“Where have you been?” Ruby was waiting for her in their room, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Just walking. Therapy was a bit rough today.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’ve had a couple of those days.”

“You didn’t happen to see Killian around tonight, did you?”

“I’m not his keeper.” She said quickly.

“I know, I was just looking for him, couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“Booty call?”

She laughed. “Nah, just worried about him.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Oh, why?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about himself much, but I could tell that his last few sessions were really getting to him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe check the gym next time. I think he goes there once everyone has left.”

“Oh?”

She turned to change her clothes, ignoring the questioning looks from her roommate.

“Get some sleep Rubes.”

Emma pulled the covers under her chin, basking in the darkness of the night. She didn’t know what to think of her evening on the beach. There were times she absolutely hated the man with one hand. Loathed the way he stared at her, knowing he was trying to get under her armor. She didn’t understand Killian Jones. But what gnawed at her even more was the fact that she wanted to understand him.

~*~

Killian fell into bed that evening with thoughts of Emma Swan. It wasn’t until he woke the next morning that he realized he didn’t dream of Milah. There was no nightmare of her in his arms, her life drained from her body. No dream of her hair blowing in the wind on the deck of his ship. A part of him was angry that Emma invaded his thoughts and kept him from seeing Milah’s face in his dreams. The other part was curious to understand what this woman had that was invading so much of his life.

“There you are!” He looked up to see Ruby approaching his table, her tray of food in her hand. “I looked all over for you yesterday.

“Sorry love, I was a bit lost in my head yesterday. Was everything alright?”

“Of course, silly. I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled tentatively at the girl. He liked Ruby. She was very nice to him, had kept their relationship or lack thereof private, and seemed to truly care about his wellbeing.

“Well, here I am. So, tell me, lass. How are you doing?”

She smiled widely. “I’m doing great. Family day is coming, and my Gran is definitely coming.”

“That’s excellent news.”

“What about you? Are you inviting anyone?”

“I don’t have my phone privileges for another day. But I haven’t decided yet if I will be inviting anyone.”

“You really should consider it. It’s another big step in your recovery when you can work through things with those you love.”

“Thanks, I’ll consider it.”

He looked up and caught Emma staring in his direction and he found himself wondering if family day would bring Emma’s boyfriend to the island. He almost wanted to see the man that had destroyed her view of trust and helped push her down the path that led her here.

He already disliked Neal, he’d heard enough in their group session about his part in leading a 14-year-old to drugs and alcohol. What kind of a man could do that to someone they care about?

How could anyone love someone yet assist them in destroying themselves?

“Come on Killian, what’s the big deal. It’s like alcohol but faster.”

“Can’t you get addicted to this stuff?”

“Baby, it’s just for fun. We won’t let it go that far. Do this with me, just this once.”

“Alright love, just this once. Anything for my Milah.”

He pushed the thoughts away, shoving the last of his food into his mouth and excusing himself from the table. He would be forced to face enough truth’s in his sessions with Dr. Hopper, he’d be damned if he were going to drive himself mad at breakfast.

#wonderland fic #wonderland #emma x killian #killian jones #emma swan #emma x hook #captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fics #captain swan modern au #stacy's fics

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grasslandgirl · 5 years

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im distracting myself from the impending doom of a six month hiatus and everything that... happened in MAG160 by thinking about all the Wonderful possibilities for jonmartin dynamics post-159 because I’m a sucker for pining and minor miscommunications and dumb fanfic tropes and I’m dragging all of you along on this ride with me!

1) They’re Both Just Chill: there’s no miscommunications, no misunderstandings. despite what peter said about them not knowing each other super well (and maybe he raised some valid points, despite being an asshole) they DO know each other well enough and had a deep enough connection during the look at me/ i see you, jon scene that they both just (for lack of a better word) Know. they look into each other’s eyes in the middle of the Lonely and they see the love there, and the hurt and the pain and the anger and everything, but they do see the love. and they recognize that, oh, we’ve been so dumb this entire time. and there’s no big Talk, no awkward stumbling around the question, they just move forward from jon and martin to jon-and-martin because they’ve wasted enough time already, haven’t they? they can’t afford to waste any more time at this point, and hey. they kind of have bigger problems going on, right?

2) I Really Loved You, You Know: ok so this one i’ve seen in quite a few fanfics and speculative posts about this one, and jon misconstruing how martin uses the past tense when talking to him in the Lonely, and can i just say....... it’s very good. you have jon, who’s been desperately trying to reconnect with people, especially martin, this entire season, who dives headfirst into the Lonely after him, and maybe he heard martin’s tape with elias from the end of s3, maybe he knows about martin’s feelings for him, maybe he at least suspects, and maybe he doesn’t; but the point of the matter is that he goes into the Lonely after martin because jon’s in love with him and i think we can mostly all agree that at least by MAG159 (and we can argue about WHEN he realizes it, later) jon is aware of his own feelings for martin. but he follows the man he loves, and he finds him, and he’s begging him to follow him out of the lonely, to come with him, and martin tells him that he loved him. really loved him. loved him, as in past tense. which, like, if you think about it? that’s SO heartbreaking. but jon keeps after him ANYWAY, and he breaks martin out of the Lonely’s grasp and they walk out side by side and then you’re left with jon, who is terrified on SO many different levels, and thinks that he failed, again. that he was too late with martin, too late to be his friend, too late to save him from Peter, and too late to love him, and he saved him, he did it, but it’s still heartbreaking, right? and juxtapose that with martin, who’s just been literally pulled out of his own loneliness by the man he’s been in love with for three years, and he told him he LOVED him and jon Didn’t Respond. and like? all the hurt and the pining and the trying to take care of each other despite everything and despite your own hurt that can happen there? SUPER good

3) Clueless Jon Doesn’t Know He Has A Boyfriend: this one kind of crosses over with #2 but it’s a little lighter and a little more fun. essentially you have martin, who says he loves jon and assumes jon heard his tape with elias where he outed martin entirely and sees jon come into the lonely to save him and hugs jon while crying when he comes to his senses and walks out of the lonely hand in hand with jon and thinks, quite reasonably, that ok, they’re dating now. and you have martin “caretaker” blackwood who’s worrying over jon and taking care of him and letting jon take care of him, and making him eat and they do all this vaguely date-y stuff because the world is kind of maybe ending, but hey! martin’s in love and hes going to enjoy it goddamnit. but then one day our beloved archivist, jon “emotionally obtuse” sims, has nearly a breakdown and he starts rambling on about how he’s in love with martin and he’s sorry and he wants there to be something between them and how he doesn’t want to change anything and this is terrible timing and he doesn’t even Know if martin feels the same way but he needed to get this off his chest etc etc etc and martin’s just like “i thought. i thought we were ALREADY dating.” which is.... hysterical if you ask me

4) Jonathan “Fuck The Lonely” Sims: kind of the opposite of the last two, in which jon is LESS of a moron than anyone expected! jon “the archivist” sims actually... thinks! he listens to the tape of elias and martin from MAG118 and reevaluates every interaction he ever had w martin after he wakes up from his coma and realizes that martin’s in love with him, and not only that, but HE’S in love with MARTIN, but has no way of communicating that to him until 154 and that whole conversation is just jon trying (and failing) to say “i love you. i love you and i know you love me and lets just say fuck this place and go. please lets just go the two of us, say you’ll come with me. i love you.” and martin. doesn’t understand. but then 159 happens and jon follows and they have That Moment and jon thinks that Finally they’re on the same page and meanwhile you have martin, who’s PEAK in his pining time, fresh out of a good year of self isolation and pure loneliness and needs a while to pull away from Forsaken and thinks that he’s alone in his pining after jon, because jon never said anything about the tape with elias, or martin saying he loved him in the lonely, and is completely clueless to the fact that jon thinks theyre straight up dating and are just taking it Slow. and then one day jon is like “hey ready for our date later” (they had dinner plans or smth but this is the first time he outrightly calls it a Date) or he kisses martin briefly on the forehead or cheek or smth and martin is like “WHAT IS GOING ON” and jon is just. baffled cause he’s not used to being the oblivious one in the relationship

5) Just Full On Pining Hours: theres some crossover here with both #2 and #4, but specifically this one is where BOTH jon and martin are full on in love and are idiots and think that the other person Doesn’t Love Them Back :( possibly featuring: jon focusing on the past tense of “i really lovED you, you know,” martin comparing jon going into the lonely to save him to jon going into the buried to save daisy/ cutting the bullet out of her leg to save melanie from the slaughter, jon being dumb and thinking all the statements he’s heard about martin’s “feelings” are elaborations/inaccurate/only in the past/etc, martin being so stuck in the lonely he pulls away from jon on instinct, jon caught up on what peter said about them not really knowing each other and MAD second guessing himself and questioning what his feelings for martin are really based on, both martin and jon throwing themselves MAJOR pity parties about falling to the power of the eye/the lonely respectively, jon going into “im a monster and im the worst and ive lost my humanity” mode and thinking he’s not Worthy of being with martin in the first place, martin being haunted by his time with peter and the lonely and keep falling back into the habit of pushing people (jon) away “for their own good,” etc etc etc etc! just a lot of sad pining hours bc these guys have been through a LOT and it’s hard to just drop straight into a healthy relationship (or Any relationship) when there’s so much baggage and history there in between

6) Run Away With Me, by Carly Rae Jepsen: I said what I said. i want them to be happy and so what if they run away and blind themselves and leave the archives and live in some house in another continent and never think about any of the entities again? i get to make the rules, its my fantasy au world and jonny can’t do anything to hurt them here

#look im SAD and i LOVE THEM and i need them to be HAPPY and SAFE OK #if this gets notes ill make fun daisira and georgie/melanie ones too be wlw rights #tma #tma spoilers #tma 160 #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #the magnus archives spoilers #mag160 #jonmartin #jonathan sims #jon sims #martin blackwood #otp: you’d do just about anything for him

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thadelightfulone · 4 years

Text

The Firm - Chapter 12

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

Summary: Erik has been hired to find an embezzler for an old friend. The whole gang is back at GBI, ready to fight an old enemy and save their friend.

Pairing: Erik x Black!OC

Genre: Suspense

Bridges checks the time; it is about 4 in the afternoon. The sun is still out, so they have to make sure they set up where they will not be easily found. Green pulls the SUV into a parking lot across the street from where Gina’s warehouse is located. They are guarded by another abandoned warehouse. Kill’s phone is out, checking for any heat sources coming from the inside of the building. He nods to Green, who parks and gets out to stretch out after the drive.

Kill, Bridges, and Green walk around the SUV together. Inside the back is a trunk full of lethal goodies for their use. Kill pops the lock, showing them the inventory. Matt stays inside, looking on as they make their decisions on what to take with them. All the items are equipped for hand-to-hand combat. They already know that this fight will be up close and personal. Gina made it that way both in her intentions and her chosen location for this meeting.

Bridges is standing there, weighing a .40 caliber Glock in her hands. It has been years since she held one or even had a need to use one. She grabs a 22 round magazine to load the gun, releases the safety, and hands it over to Green. Green thanks her and holsters the gun under his arm.

The Glock 19 that Kill loaded in the car is in his tactical holster on his leg. One side of his matching vest holds two more Glocks and about 4 additional magazines. He takes a moment to once again check his phone screen before reaching for a few throwing knives and an M9 bayonet fighting knife. Bridges stops helping Green and watches as Kill gathers everything he wants, adding it to his vest or his holsters.

Green clears his throat, and Bridges hands him the other gun she loaded for him. He steps back as he has everything he needs. But he grabs a laptop from one of the other bags before getting out of her way. Bridges grabs 2 Glocks and additional magazines for herself. She puts on her tactical vest and loads her weapons.

Once everyone has all their desired weapons, they return to the front of the SUV. On the hood, Kill rolls out the warehouse floor plans that Stacey printed. He sets his phone aside as he looks things over. The screen shows 6 heat signatures surrounding Gina’s building.

“Alright, there are 3 floors, including the basement to the warehouse. Our focus needs to be on the first and lower floors because she would never be dumb enough to use the top to hold hostages.” Pointing to the entrances, he shows Bridges and Green the matching locations on his phone. The two side entrances have two people on them, while the front and back doors only have one.

“It looks like the best way to enter is through the back door since there is an elevator and stairs to the basement on that side.” Green states as he looks at the basement floor plan.

“Do you know how much security she has out here?” Bridges asks.

“Yo Matt! When you met up with her anywhere, how many men did she usually have?”

“Ummm, she always had two near her. But whenever I met her onsite like this, it was about 6 or 8 additional guys. Everyone always near an entrance or something, doubling as a clean-up crew.” Matt sits back again as they all take in what he said.

“So, let’s go with a possible 10-15 total inside and around the warehouse. We won’t be able to detect the others until we get a bit closer.” Green says.

“Not a problem. Once we clear all entrances, we can enter from any point and have enough cover to take out anyone left.” Kill responds.

“Sounds good to me.” Bridges pipes in.

“Now, we wait for it to get darker before going in.” They all jump back in the car, waiting for the sun to set.

---

It has been about an hour since LaNyah found out that every person she holds near and dear is in the crosshairs of one Miss Gina McCoy Williams. Gina left to get them food after LaNyah was settled from her panic attack. While she was gone, Laura shared how she knew who she was. So, now LaNyah knows that Matt didn’t choose her, but Gina did, and her connection to Ashley and Alex was just a bonus. But the connection to Erik was confusing to her, she just met him, but Gina made it sound like more and she didn’t know how to feel about that.

Gina came back in with her two associates, LaNyah recognized them as the guys who moved her from the other room. They had covered dishes in their hands and placed them in front of the women. “Go ahead and eat.” No one moves, “Neither one of you is good to me dead. Now please, Laura, if not for you then for the baby. And LaNyah, I know you just cried everything out. Nibble, if you must, but I promise I did not poison the food. Besides, Kimmy’s makes the best sandwiches.” LaNyah looks at her strangely. Gina waves them both to eat while uncovering her plate.

LaNyah lifts the cover to see her exact order from the last time she met Ashley at Kimmy’s Café �� grilled chicken club on sourdough, fries, and fruit with a side of ranch. She groans while looking at it, since that was also the day she figured out that she had a small crush on her new boss, Erik. She was about to put the cover back on when her stomach gurgled loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. She looks over at the two men, who are tucking into their meals. Laura has pulled apart the sandwich and is picking at the inside.

Gina glances over at LaNyah. “You have been intravenously fed for the last three days. Eat up while you can. Or should I have them replace the IV for you?” LaNyah picks up a fry and dips it in the ranch. “Good girl. Thank you. I really do hate to be mean to other women.” She wipes her mouth, “When we finish eating, I will continue with my story.”

Laura scraps the plate with the fork, “You aren’t done?”

“Oh no, I need you to understand why they must be destroyed.”

LaNyah mumbles, “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t, dear.” Gina drops her napkin in her lap. “Since you both are so chatty, I guess now is as good a time as any.” Laura and LaNyah sigh in unison as Gina moves around, taking LaNyah’s old chair since they are both on the couch now.

“I would rather eat if you don’t mind.” Laura tries to pull the sandwich together and takes a big bite and smiles.

“Oh, I’m not stopping you. Enjoy your meal. It will probably be your last anyway.” Gina looks at her watch, then crosses her legs getting comfortable. “Now, where were we?” She taps her knees before clapping her hands. “Yes, Erik ‘Killer’ I mean ‘Killmonger’ Stevens. Boy, does that man have quite the reputation. He killed 5 men all by himself once while on a mission. Came out unharmed, barely a scratch on him. I mean, do you know what kind of cold-blooded killer would do something like that?”

“You said they were all military. That sounds job-related to me. Kill or be killed, right?” Laura wipes her mouth with a napkin.

“Sure, when you kill your enemies. And that time, he did. But the last time was the murder of a known associate.” Gina stands and paces the room, “He set up a shooter’s nest and gunned down my brother like he was picking off a deer. If it really were enemy fire, then someone else would have been there with him, and he would not have drowned on his own blood with no attempt at saving his life.” Her voice is increasing in volume as she shares the details, choking on a sob. “He planned it out to the last detail, even brought in help to lie for him. He left enemy guns at the scene so no one would question him or the others about what happened. They crafted the perfect story together. Him and Green.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“Why are you telling us this?” Laura is louder than LaNyah, who has stopped eating and has curled up on the couch. But Gina heard them both.

Looking towards Laura, “I have my ways. And money talks even in the military.” She waits until LaNyah cautiously glances her way, “I want you to know the truth about your beloved Erik.” LaNyah opens her mouth to talk, but Gina cuts her off, “It’s not hard to see why he would fall for someone like you. I mean opposites do attract. And it can’t get any further apart than the two of you.”

LaNyah is listening, but she is not comprehending what Gina just said. Erik doesn’t like her. She likes him, but he would never want a girl like her. She occupies a small space compared to what he has seen and experienced —and he’s done much more, all over the world, according to Gina’s rambling about his military career. A man like that goes for the Staceys of the world. A woman who knows herself and actually lives life. LaNyah’s life is too narrow for someone like that.

Her head is spinning as Gina continues talking, more for Laura at this point since she has tuned out. Her crush is not going anywhere. They work together, and that’s it. LaNyah can think or figure that mess out later. She just needs to focus on the fact that they should be coming to save her and Laura; she rolls her eyes at the thought of the woman. She hates her for something that Nyah was used for; how does that even work. I AM THE PAWN PEOPLE!

She hears a far way sound that becomes clearer when she blinks. LaNyah looks up to find Gina standing right in front of her. “What?”

“Just wanted to make sure that you are here. I can’t have you hiding in that pretty little head of yours. I need you here.”

“It’s not like I can go anywhere,” LaNyah grumbles.

“Very true.” Gina looks down at her watch again. Sending a signal to her men, who suddenly walk out of the room. “Why don’t you both go over to the beds? Get comfortable.”

“I’m fine right where I am.” Laura nods in agreement scooting closer to her and grabs LaNyah’s hands. If they are safe anywhere right now, it is next to one another.

Gina takes a seat on the chair beside the couch. “Suit yourselves. Doesn’t matter to me.” LaNyah looks at Laura, who is just as confused after watching Gina, who grabs a book from the table and starts reading.

---

Green drives the SUV behind Gina’s warehouse after getting an all-clear from Kill. He ran across a few minutes before and slit the throat of the guard on backdoor duty. Any gunshots too early would give them all away. He pulled out the laptop to see if he could pinpoint the rest of them inside the warehouse.

As they pull up, he runs over to them, “I got ‘em.” Kill announces as he jumps in. He opens the laptop, angling it for all to see, “There are 10 men total on this level – it looks like she increased the number surrounding the building, and then there are three between the stairwell and elevator.”

“That doesn’t count the men that Matt says she normally has with her.” Green counts off.

“They are probably below with her, and we won’t see that until we clear the first floor.” Kill states. Green shakes his head.

“Are we handling this like earlier? Two rush front?” Kill nods in the affirmative at Green.

“You’ll stay here with Bridges until we get everyone out.” Kill tells Matt, as he stands beside the SUV stretching out his limbs. The sky is pink and orange over the horizon, so they all stepped out, ready to make their move.

“Excuse me!” The high pitch screech comes from the other side of the vehicle.

“I didn’t stutter, Bridges.” Kill rolls his eyes as Ashley makes her way in front of him. “You are watching Matthew. End. Of. Story.”

Puffing out her chest, “Did you not just hear what I told my husband earlier?” Kill looks at the plans in his hands, rolling them up before turning to her.

“Yeah, and you are here. So, you will get to see LaNyah after we save her.” He steps up to her, forcing her to look up at him, “But you will not be joining us inside the warehouse. So, get comfy out here.”

“Seriously? I can be useful in there, Kill.” He turns away from her, focusing on the heat sensors showing up on the computer screen on the back seat. Bridges stomps away. “This is bullshit.”

“Ashley, come here. “ She walks over to her husband. “We need someone to handle shit out here. Remember, she has more men than us. You see anyone run out; you shoot they ass. No questions asked.”

Rolling her eyes, “Lookout?”

“The most important part of the job, sweets.” He tries to hug her, but she pushes him away. “Love you, too.”

Bridges roughly grabs Matt dragging him to the front driver’s seat. “Get in, sit down and shut up.” When Matt is comfortable in the seat, she cuffs his hands together, then pulls the steering wheel down, and with a chain locks his cuffs to the wheel. “He’s locked in tight.”

“Great. Make your way around to the front. Green and I have the side entrances.” He looks over at Bridges, who pulled out her gun. “On my signal,” Kill points towards the building, and they all move forward in unison spreading out to their locations.

As soon as Bridges makes it around the corner to the front of the warehouse, she immediately opens fire on the guys standing there. 3 shots, 3 bodies drop. Damn, the front was only supposed to have one, maybe 2 guys up there. She carefully walks through them, shooting each one a second time to make sure they don’t get up.

Making her way to the entrance, she notices a wide-open space with a desk in the back. Bridges hears movement headed her way. Lifting her gun, she ducks as a bullet passes to her left. She runs behind a stack of boxes, peeking out before and shooting out at the two men running towards her. One drops and the other makes it to her as she puts her foot out to trip him. She steps over him and shoots him in the head.

She walks the rest of the warehouse floor, checking for anyone else and goes back outside. The front is now clear. Bridges moves back to the edge of the building to watch for any strays who might run out.

---

Gina looks up as her two personal guards and another man enter the room. They are dragging something behind them. “We found him tied up to the side of the building, Boss.”

A piercing scream shatters the once quiet basement as Laura looks up to see Matt standing between Gina’s men.

Jumping up, she claps in excitement, “Our guests have arrived. Go ahead and sit him next to Laura.” The men drop Matt on the couch; he reaches over and holds Laura, who is crying loudly into his chest. “Now, the fun begins.”

LaNyah says nothing as she watches the two blubbering idiots next to her. All she knows is that if Matt is here, so is everyone else. Her friends, the cavalry, and they are here for her. And them, or whatever.

Gina moves to stand near LaNyah and signals her men to stand near the door. The other man radios for back up but hears nothing but static on the other end. LaNyah curls up on the couch as they listen to the barrage of gunfire above them.

---

Green has his gun out and shoots down the first guy to approach him. The other two run out of the side entrance towards him, guns blazing, and he gets nicked on the shoulder right as he hits one in both knees. He rolls along the building, killing the man on the ground and shoots the last guy standing before slipping into the side entrance door.

Kill sneaks up on the first guard near the back of the building. He once again takes out his M9 knife and brings it across his neck. Lowering his body to the ground, he continues forward to the side door. Two men with guns turn around and let off a couple of rounds. Kill throws the knife and pulls out his gun, shooting the one who is still facing him. As the other guy swings away, grabbing his shoulder, Kill walks up and shoots him through the temple.

Green leans against the wall waiting for Kill to appear on the other side directly across from him. He hears a few more pops before Kill bounds through the side entrance. They nod to the other and move forward as one heading to the back of the warehouse where the stairwell and elevator are. Kill pulls out his phone to check for the location of everyone down below. They can make out 5 shapes down below. Moving towards the stairwell, they hear some shuffling and immediately turn their guns on the person approaching them.

“What the fuck, Bridges?”

“God damnit, Ashley!” Kill and Green exclaim as she bounces into view.

“What are you doing here? And where is Matt?” Kill quickly rushes out.

“I have him locked up outside of the building. Besides, I figured you could use the help.” She explains.

“Bridges -” Kill groans.

“No Kill, I want this bitch.” Bridges cuts him off, “I’m going down there with you. Done deal.”

“Fine, take the center.” He concedes and allows her to step in front of him.

Green leads them down the stairs leading to the basement. Bridges follows, and Kill pulls up the rear. They know everyone is located in the center of the basement. Walking along the right side, they slowly approach the door leading to the massive room. In a semi-circle, the group looks at one another before Green steps forward, kicking the down the door as Kill and Bridges rush through.

All three of them are standing at the top of the room, looking down at everyone when Gina’s men move in. 3 loud bangs are heard as each one of her men hit the floor. In the same order, they make their way down the stairs. Bridges notices Matt on the couch with Laura, motioning to Green, so he knows.

Gina watches all of them before snatching LaNyah up from the couch. She holds her right in front of her as all the guns in the room turn towards her.

“Hello Everyone! It’s nice to meet you finally.” Gina cheerfully greets the trio. Matt covers Laura as he watches all of them keep their guns on Gina. “See LaNyah; I told you they would come. It was only a matter of time.”

LaNyah looks up after gaining her balance when Gina pulled her off the couch. All her friends are here, but she has never seen them like this. If looks could kill, Gina would be dead where she stands, and Nyah would be caught in the middle. All the guns were pointed at Gina, but also her since Gina is using her as a shield.

Ashley is off to the left, hair in a disheveled bun with specks of blood splattered across her face. Mr. Green is standing near Laura and Matt on the right, keeping an eye on them with two guns up. Is that a hole in his arm? LaNyah shakes her head, and then there’s Erik. He is dead center watching her with that same intensity that he always does, but it just feels scarier somehow. Like a caged lion prowling the land, ready for action at the slightest movement. He also has a gun in each hand and blood all over the front pocket of his fatigues. There they are her friends, the soldiers.

“Everyone put your guns down.” Gina calmly requests, to no response. “NOW!” She yells. Still, no one budges. “Of course.” Pulling LaNyah closer to her chest, she whispers loud enough for the room to hear. “You know why he won’t shoot me, right?” LaNyah knows who she is talking about but closes her eyes, so she doesn’t have to meet his gaze. Gina shakes her, “Open your eyes! Go ahead and look at your Killer lover.”

“Leave her alone, Gina!” Kill yells out, lowering his guns. “I get it; you want us all. But I did it, so deal with me.”

“Look at him, trying to be all chivalrous. It’s only because I have you.” Gina continues to speak in her ear. “Just look at him.” LaNyah opens her eyes to see Erik lowering both of his guns to the floor, and kicking them away from him. The look on his face, what is that? LaNyah bows her head, looking away from him.

“Let her go. You can take me instead, and no one else has to die.” Kill lifts his hands in surrender.

Locking LaNyah’s arms to her side much tighter now, Gina looks at him. “Now, you want to show some compassion? Where was your sympathy when it came to my brother, huh?” Gina slowly walks back towards the table, “Fuck you, Killmonger!”

Ashley has been watching LaNyah the whole time, and when she finally catches her eyes, she makes a signal to her. As soon as Gina reaches back to grab something from the table, she shouts, “NOW NYAH!” LaNyah stomps her heel down into Gina’s foot before ducking and rolling out of the way. Bridges aims for Gina taking her down with a double-tap to the chest.

Green goes over to Matt and Laura, leading them out of the building. While Bridges and Kill watch Gina drop, they can hear her struggling to breathe. She grabs at her neck, choking on her own blood, just like her brother did nearly 20 years ago. Bridges approaches Gina and aims one last time, shooting her point-blank in the head.

LaNyah banged her head against the table, rolling away and tries to sit up as Erik rushes towards her. When he leans over with his hands out to help her up, she scoots away, backing up into the wall and bursts into tears. Ashley makes her way over, grabbing her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She sits down next to her, rubbing her back and starts crying along with her.

Kill stands up and walks over to Gina’s dead body. He looks at the table to find what she was reaching for. There on the edge is a remote clicker with one button. Probably a bomb linked to the whole building. Damn, she was going to take everyone out, including herself. That was one crazy bitch. He disables the remote, leaving all the pieces on the table.

Green returns and taps Kill on the shoulder as he makes his way to Ashley and LaNyah. “Are we good, ladies?”

Ashley looks down at LaNyah, who is sniffling now, “It’s ok, LaNyah. You’re safe now. We got you.” Nyah looks up at everyone, including Kill, who stands besides Green. She nods and follows Ashley’s lead to stand. Ashley takes Green’s hand, and LaNyah just looks at Erik’s outstretched hand. Once Ashley is up, she turns back to LaNyah, who reaches for her. Ashley helps her up and holds her hand.

Erik drops his head as he pulls his hand back. Ashley watches him and smiles sadly in his direction as she and LaNyah walk out of the room. Killmonger vanished as soon as the threat was over. So, now Erik is left to feel the hurt caused by LaNyah being scared of him now. He would never hurt her, but there is no way for her to know that. And even if he would give his life for her, it wouldn’t even matter. Erik is a monster in her eyes.

Alex and Erik walk the room once more to check for any other surprises before leaving out of the warehouse.

---

All is quiet as the group heads towards the SUV. Alex and Erik stand back as they watch both the women they care about get inside the vehicle, safe and sound. Before Erik walks around to the passenger side, Alex pulls him aside.

“Stevens, thank you.” Erik shrugs him off, “I don’t just mean for today.” Erik stops at that. “For everything. For Ashley. Being brave enough to handle McCoy and not letting the military give him a slap on the wrist for what he did. And LaNyah, too. You are the best protector that she could ask for, even if she doesn’t know it.”

Erik looks at him before opening the door to the SUV. “And she probably never will.” Looking inside, he sees Matt and Laura curled up on the 2nd row while LaNyah and Ashley are in the back on the 3rd row. He can hear hushed whispers coming from them. She still wants to be as far away from him as possible. Erik shakes his head and leans back in the seat, closing his eyes. It’s going to be a long ride back to Orange County.

Chapter 13

Taglist: @killmongersaidheyauntie @muse-of-mbaku @panthergoddessbast @youreadthatright @princessstevens @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @stark-red19 @kreolemami @bidibidibombaclaat @iamrheaspeaks @missumuch1918 @simplyyamberr @cheychey10142 @ajspencer1892 @chrismarcs @loosewindmill @sydneebleu @semianta @eyeknowmywrites @alexundefined @itsjustmezari @goddessofthundathighs @guccixcucci @kissmyafropuff @gimmeface @fd-writes @jozigrrl @soufcakmistress @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @shaekingshitup @localtrapgod @post-woke @theesotericqueen

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger x oc #black panther fanfiction #the firm #thadelightfulone

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missamcricana13-blog · 5 years

Text

15 things ive learned in 15 years

i turned 15 two months ago and to be honest it’s been a journey but it’s been fun. even though i feel 7, age is good and time is good and growth is good. life is good. ♡

ONE:

not everyone you loose is a loss!

—ive lost people in my life i genuinely had no idea i could even survive without but every loss ive ever had has brought me so much closer to myself, and i am so happy i lost certain people—which is something i never thought id say

TWO:

own yourself, and don’t try to be someone else

—i believe everyone is their own person, being a twin we get forced together all the time but i believe everyone gets their own chance, their own opportunity, their own voice and to try to pretend to copy someone else’s voice, is not what you’re made to do.

THREE:

never be ashamed of what you love

—people always made me feel dumb for loving taylor, saying ‘she’ll never see it’ or ‘why are you so obsessed with her’ but taylor has given me so much joy and love in my life, and i am in no way ashamed to love her or be apart of this. it’s made me so happy to be apart of album releases, tours and the feeling of her being in stage is something ill never be able to feel outside of this fandom.

FOUR:

never turn down a hug or let go first

—i have given so many hugs that people tell me they needed, and i believe a hug heals most pain. and i remember when taylor said she doesn’t let go first, and i realize i have no idea how much that person needs a hug or when the next time ill hug them is.

FIVE:

check on people you love!

—i nearly lost someone so important to me recently, she had been in one of the toughest spots and i checked on her and she just let everything out, since then i check on her regularly and it’s made me realize i should always check on people i love, no matter how happy or sad they seem on the outside—i could not tell you how hard my life would be without her if i had not took five minutes out of my day to ask how she’s been.

SIX:

music can heal anything!

—breathe, afterglow, daylight, have all taught me so much, breathe saved my life. i was so sad, so shattered and i threw on old taylor swift in shuffle because i had been so upset and breathe came on, and everything changed for me, something clicked and i changed and felt so much happier. ive listened to that song more than ive listened to my mom in my whole life. (so thank you taylor for writing a masterpiece that saved me)

SEVEN:

my love for taylor doubles everyday

—taylor has helped be through so many hard years of school and so many tough times and so much anxiety, i have a greater appreciation for her everyday of the year, my heart is so full.

EIGHT:

do NOT apologize for how you feel

—if you’re having a bad day, that’s okay, if you’re having the best day ever, great, but you should never have to explain to someone why if it is simply life, life is so complicated sometimes but some days we feel horrible and some days we feel amazing. no matter what you are aloud to feel any way you need to live the way you want!

NINE:

moving is scary!

—today august 29th i move out of my childhood home, i move literally a kilometre up the street but had to pack everything in boxes and i had to go through the past fifteen years and sort everything. it’s scary, it’s a new chapter and im ready but im worried, im so happy to be moving but im scared to leave home, but it’s time.

TEN:

i love concerts!

—ive seen taylor twice, shawn mendes once and selena once, (fingers crossed ill make that four taylor and one sasha sloan but with moving money’s tight so fingers crossed) but the energy i feel at concerts, the happiness is something i don’t get anywhere else and toronto has been the place where all of my concerts have taken place, im so grateful to get to attend shows and im so grateful for all the joy they bring me. (shoutout 2015 hanna thanks for convincing your parents to go to the 1989wt)

ELEVEN:

ive loved taylor swift for eight years now!

—in 2011 at the age of 7 i was on my way to my friends grandmas house, the first time i had ever been away from my sister, and my friend was in control of the aux and she played never grow up, that night i went home and listened to every released taylor swift song and listened to our song so much i wrote every lyric down from memory, this happened in the span of one day! that’s what started everything but when i was about 5-6 i was at my brothers hockey tournament and we stayed at a super cool hotel with a play room and i took my dad’s phone to play teardrops on my guitar on repeat for hours as i mad myself a ‘house’ to stay in, and he got mad i definitely had to change the song.

TWELVE:

pain is okay! but always temporary

—in april the day after me! was released i got out of a toxic relationship, i was so heartbroken and had little support from anyone, it was so painful and i came home from school everyday and cried for hours. i was in so much pain but i realized i had to step into the daylight and let it go, and now i can 100% tell you im so so so much happier.

THIRTEEN:

teenage girls are the worst!

—being in grade 10 girls are awful, seeing the way we treat others and seeing the way we act together is insane. i see girls pick on other girls weight, height, face, skin, everything and i just wonder why can’t we all love each other. if you can love one you can love all, and if you can’t love all you can not love. i think so many of us need to realize everyone has insecurities and everyone needs to be loved so DO NOT PICK ON someone for anything.

FOURTEEN:

school is stressful but grades are not everything!

—ive learned to try, study and work so so hard but if it becomes to much take a break, if you don’t understand something, ask for help! help is there and you’re not less of someone for asking! it’s there for a reason.

FIFTEEN:

if you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.

—i grew up with a lot of personal issues and physical issues, but ive realized that theyre apart of me and it’s okay. we all have flaws, it’s what makes everyone so perfect. and taylor has taught me to love myself. and to not be ashamed of myself and i love her so much for that.

taylor, if you see this, please please know i love you and thank you for the past ten ish years, i wouldn’t trade you for the world. i hope to hug you one day.

instagram: missamcricana

xoxoxo thank you, hanna.

@taylorswift @taylornation

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ca1e70-deactivated · 5 years

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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

#theres probably so many more i mean #ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now #ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time #and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR #or thought were wild enough to remember #i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long #and i dont want this to represent me entirely #these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are #i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp #but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever #so theyre not very specific situations #anyways #this took me an hour

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pi-cat000 · 5 years

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MSA time travel idea (part 25)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24,

Part 26: here

“Welcome to MacDonalds Sir. Can I take your order?”

The van stops at a drive through, halfway to the hospital and his Uncle. Doom hangs over Arthur like a dense grey fog. A clock slowly counting down.

“Hey. You want anything?” The demon asks, nonchalantly rifling around in the glovebox for spare change.

Arthur’s never swum in the ocean, but he’s watched enough media to estimate and guess that this is what drowning feels like. Memories crash over him, pulling him about in waves. It’s had to keep a grip on what is current and what is past. It’s hitting him all at once. Images of Lewis falling are now mixing in with frames on Darrel’s motionless body left out in the middle of nowhere, carelessly kicked to the side of a narrow dirt road. Alone. Just like Lewis. Left behind to rot. Who knows if anyone would find him. Did Darrel have a family? Arthur can’t remember. What he does know is that it’s all his fault…and he can’t stop. Arthur needs help. He desperately needs help, but there’s no one. The only people who care are miles away and completely ignorant.

‘Why?’

The question is out before he gets the chance to clarify, his thoughts not coherent enough to manage a full sentence. There must be a reason. A point to everything. Because, if there isn’t, then there is no way that Arthur can convince this creature to stop. To leave his Uncle alone.

“Cause we’re hungry. Duh. Try not to ask dumb questions.” Arthur is dismissed, the demon turning back to order. So far, it has been quiet, exuding a calm satisfaction which is only marginally better than manic joy, ignoring Arthur’s thrashing with practised ease. This is the first time Arthur’s had the presence of mind to communicate since leaving Darrel.

At the order collection window, as the serving-girl hands over a brown and red paper bag, she points to her cheek, commenting, “Um. Sir. You have a little dirt on your face. Just there.”

“Do I?” The demon laughs good-naturedly, adjusting the rear-view mirror to reveal their reflection. Arthur looks out, unable to help himself, meeting his own gaze. Bright green eyes stare right at him. The pleasant smile shifts to become mocking. The ‘dirt’ referred to is the small flecks of Darrel’s blood, which have dried a dark brown.

“I do indeed. How embarrassing,” It chuckles, taking the bag, “Thank you for pointing that out.”

The girl smiles back, “Hey no problem. Have a good afternoon sir.”

If only she would lean further out and see the prominent blood splatter across Arthur’s front. She doesn’t. He watches powerlessly, feeling his body wave a goodbye.

“Have to say. I love these new food options. You humans have certainly been busy this last century.”

Now. This is Arthur's opportunity to talk. He needs to use it and convince this creature to stop. It probably won’t work, if anything it’ll make everything worse, but he must try.

‘Why,’ Arthur asks a second time, pulling his focus forward.

“Why what,” The demon is deliberately obtuse, taking a bite with its free hand, steering back onto the highway with the other. Arthur would be grimacing at the taste. The last thing he wants to do is to eat greasy food. Luckily, nausea is primary a physical phenomenon, so his need to throw up is entirely associative.

‘Why are you doing this. What’s the point?’ How does he get it to stop?

The demon chews and slurps down a soda methodically like it is buying time to consider a response. More likely, it knows how anxious waiting makes Arthur.

“Because it’s fun. You know...Spread a little pain and misery. Cause trouble. Mess with the cosmic balance. You do know what fun is right?"

‘I can be plenty miserable without Uncle Lance dying.’ Arthur jumps on the connection despite how tenuous it is, ‘You’ve seen my memories! I can make anything good depressing if I want to.’

“Ha. Yeah. You do know how to screw yourself over. But, regrettably, I never leave a host alive. Personal policy. Less hassle down the line and all.”

‘He’ll be no hassle.’ Arthur lies blatantly because there was no way Lance wouldn’t try to hunt them down if given a chance, ‘Nope. No hassle at all. No one would care if I vanished right now. Especially not Lance.’

“I’m in your head, I can see you lying,” An eye roll, followed by unpleasant chuckling, “Besides, nothing beats the rush of cutting one of your pathetic lives short. All that potential. Poof. Gone.” The discordant sensation of happiness is back again, and Arthur quickly withdraws, mentally flinching away, doing his best to distance himself.

‘Someone will stop you.’

“Who will? The dog? It’s miles away. Won’t be here till tomorrow and by then we’ll be done and dusted. I was thinking of going after Lewis’s family next. Sneak on in, in the dead of night, get em all in their sleep…”

Any further attempts at reasoning fall on deft ears. Begging is just as ineffective. All it does is inflate the awful feeling of calm satisfaction. Apprehensively, Arthur watches the demon wipe the blood off their shared face, energy well and truly spent. A grin is flashed towards the rear-view mirror which has yet to be re-adjusted. Not like this thing cares about road safety. It makes Arthur want to laugh hysterically. But he can’t. He can’t do anything.

Half an hour later, after getting waylaid by some traffic, they’re back at the hospital. All up, it’s hardly been two hours since their departure. They even park in the same spot.

Before heading inside, the demon pulls on one of Arthur’s old work shirts, which he keeps in the van for spur of the moment mechanical work. It’s got a few oil stains down the side and hasn’t seen a good wash in a while, but is inconspicuous when compared to coffee and blood splatters. Now, apart from the eyes, there is no other noticeable difference between the two of them. Nothing that screams ‘I’m a demon on a murder spree, please stop me.’ The sickly green skin Arthur had noted in his memories has faded to a natural colour.

St Peter’s Emergency Ward is as cold and sterile as he remembers. The smell of disinfectant and the return to chilled air-conditioning are equally unwelcome. Nurses, doctors and members of the public mill around, murmuring and talking in low tones. ‘Someone notice! Please,’ Arthur thinks desperately while the demon obtains directions from the reception desk. Despite Arthur’s less than clean appearance no one spares a second glance. Everyone is too busy, caught up in their work and lives, to notice his one falling apart.

An older, matronly woman, sporting a messy bun and tired eyes, ends up leading Arthur to his Uncle’s recovery room. It’s not too far from the main entrance and is, to his dismay, empty of other patents. Space, meant for a second bed, is vacant.

Arthur, the demon- he’s having trouble separating the two -both watch the nurse check his Uncle’s IV, lowering the dosage of whatever is going into Lance’s arm. Probably a mix of pain medication and anti-inflammatories going off Arthur’s previous experience. Curiosity and interest flash between their shared mind. It is taking notes, intently watching the nurse work. Please. Turn around. Turn around and notice what a creepy monster he’s being.

When she does turn, Arthur has already stepped away, acting to part of the worried relative.

“Is he okay. Everything’s okay, right?”

“Your Uncle is recovering as per normal. He’s on a low dose of Dilaudid, to reduce pain and swelling. It’ll make him drowsy when he regains consciousness so don’t be alarmed if he has trouble forming sentences,”

“He’ll regain consciousness? That’s good. When will that happen?” Its barely contained eagerness makes Arthur want to cry in dismay.

“Another hour or two,” The woman gives him a perplexed sideward glance. If she does notice anything strange, it isn’t mentioned. “I’ll have a doctor come by and give you a proper run down and better details shortly.”

“Good. Good. That’s very good. Thank you for letting me know,”

A nod. A kind expression. She moves to away, passing by, leaving Arthur alone. She leaves the demon alone with his Uncle unconscious, helpless in the bed. Eagerly, the demon piolets his body forward, scanning the empty room, eyes landing briefly on the solitary clock decorating the otherwise sparse walls. 4: 59. Tick. Tick. Tick. An audible reminder that Arthur is running out of time. A hand reaches into his pocket to fiddle with Arthur’s keys and the small knife attached. Both are crusted with dry blood which crumbles when touched. They clink together threateningly.

‘What do I have to do to get you to stop. You have to want something. Anything.’

“Sure, I do. It’s just nothing you can give .” Nonchalantly, it approaches the bed, finally acknowledging Arthur's presence.

‘Don’t demons collect souls?’ He asks with increasing desperation. Can he give this thing his soul? Was that something he could do?

“Some. I don’t. I think you’ll find that ‘demon’ is a very broad term, covering a wide range of individuals. Besides, your soul is super screwy. Whatever’s shoved it back in here has bound it in tight, so I’d probably have to rip it up to get it free, rendering the activity pointless. So, no deal…But thanks for the offer. I’m flattered.”

‘Please. Stop. I’ll do anything!’

Does he really have nothing? No way to save his Uncle. The only member of his whole freakin family who gave a damn and he can’t even save him. Useless. Why does he fail in all the ways that matter most?

“Oh, don’t mope. Just think, once we finish up here, you’ll never have to worry about failing anybody ever again. No lying. No stress. Doesn’t that sound nice.”

It doesn’t sound nice. It’s the opposite of nice!

The demon drags over the one visitor's chair, which squeaks along the lino flooring, slumping down to stare at his uncle, waiting. It fingers the IV tubing, tracing the piping up to the control dial and back again. Deliberately, it pinches the thin tube shut, attention jumping back to Lance, scanning for any changes.

Waiting.

The waiting is terrible. Especially, when Arthur can feel its attention, partially giddy, laser-focused onto his Uncle. Arthur’s never seen the man look so pale or sickly. Apart from the odd work-related accident, which is impossible to avoid even with strict safety standards, his Uncle has always been healthy. Even the rare times he has seen the man sick it was still ‘no big deal,’ ‘just a scratch,’ or ‘the bodies way of forcing me ta rest.’ While Arthur flip-flopped from one emotional extreme to the next, his Uncle had been a steady, seemingly indestructible, pillar of support. Arthur had never said thank you for any of that. Worse, he’d repaid all that kindness with lies and evasion. Lance should have never taken him in. He had been more trouble than it was worth in his original timeline and he’s definitely not worth it now.

“Hey. HEY!” The demon grows tired of the waiting and gives his Uncle a light slap on the cheek with its free hand, “Wake up.”

“Arthur?” The word is half muttered, barely audible. Lance is phasing into consciousness slowly.

‘Just say asleep. Stay asleep a little longer. Someone has to come in and stop him. Please.’

“In a manner of speaking. Yeah. I’m Arthur.”

That gets his Uncle’s attention. Lance violently twitches, forcing an eye open. It locks onto him, hazy but critical. Despite being in obvious pain a hand flashes out, snapping onto to Arthur’s wrist, pulling the hand away from his face. The grip is firm abet weaker than Arthur’s expecting.

“Whoa, you might want to take it easily Uncle Lance. Wouldn’t want to pull any stitches. You were stabbed five times you know.”

“You,” His Uncle growls hatefully, eyes narrowing, “Get out of Arthur ya fuckin, slimy piece of shit, bastard.”

“That’s some strong language. And in front of your nephew. He’s watching you know,”

A loose flick and the demon frees its wrist, efficiently shoving his Uncle back down when he attempts to lunge outwards. The hash action causes Lance to grunt in obvious pain. A move towards the emergency call remote has the demon snatching it up and placing it on the small table just out of reach, tutting in disappointment.

“I’ll get ya. Mark my words…You’ll regret this,” His Uncle spits, his attempts at sitting foiled. His face is pure revulsion and fury. That determination and fire is something Arthur’s never seen directed his way before. It’s all in vain. Nothing matters. Not anymore.

A teasing, “How? You can’t even move. Soon you’ll never move again.” The demon releases its hold on the IV and turns the control dial up to its max setting. Dismayed, Arthur watches the drug take quick effect, rapidly dulling his Uncle’s movements. Eventually, Lance just lies still and glares, even while his eyes are dropping shut.

“Don’t worry about your nephew. He’ll be safe with me. Since you care so much and all.” The glare faulters much to the demon’s renewed glee. The predatory buzz is back, coiled alongside a sensation of anticipation and pleasure.

“Arthur.” His Uncle’s voice loses its heat, softening. He’s struggling to stay conscience, drowsy, eyes shutting.

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. Stop. Please. PLEASE.’

A knife is produced after a small struggle. The hinge, which usually allowed it to flip cleanly open, is stiff, jammed with blood. The key ring makes a clinking sound, hitting the side of the metal bed frame. Tap. Tap. Tap. It echoes through the room in time with the ticking clock.

“Now. How do we go about this in a way that won’t immediately alert the plebs?”

‘NONONONO!’

“Kindy slow bleed? Good choice.”

“Nighty night,” It stands upright. The chair squeaks. Blankets and paper thin robe are pulled aside in an energetic flourish, revealing the assortment of bandages covering his Uncle’s chest and side. A second is spent in meticulous calculation. The knife is carefully positioned and thrust in. The demon waits for a beat before pushing forward against any resistance, twisting, then drawing out. Cold satisfaction. His Uncle’s fingers catch on Arthur’s retreating arm. This time, there is no strength behind the grasp, and it’s easily shrugged off.

“Not….You…r… Fa..ul…t...” The words are mumbled and slurred, swallowed up by the silent room. The clock on the wall ticks.

“Eh. Suppose we’ll look a bit suspicious if we stick around.”

The blanket is tossed back into place, covering the reopened wound. They turn, strolling towards the door, practically skipping back down to the reception. Arthur can feel himself splitting, joy mixing in with panic and grief.

Just like his life, he’s falling to pieces.

NOTE: re-writes, re-writes for days. But finally got a version I’m mostly happy with. I’m hoping to have the next section out within a shorter time frame so people aren't stuck on the cliff hanger but no promises.

Part 26: here

#MSA #mystery skulls animated #fanfiction #fanfic #arthur kingsmen #lance kingsmen #the demon?#character death #dark #angst #coarse language #graphic descriptions of violence #emotional disorientation #shit has well and truly hit the fan

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fairycosmos · 5 years

Note

hey i’m super sry 2 bother ive just been struggling and i know u understand how i feel..i’ve never been this bad in my life. i feel so stupid agonizing over smth like my physical appearance but my reflection genuinely makes me nauseous and throws me into a breakdown each time i see it. i cant help but feel like id much rather kill myself than spend the rest of my miserable existence being so revolting and grotesque. i hate being conventionally unattrctive- going out in public is just the worst:(

hey angellll i'm sorry 2 hear you're dealing w this rn. you're not bothering me either, it's cool. :(( also i got your other anon and don't worry, i didn't think you were calling me ugly djekdkekk,, but i mean i AM lol. and i can definitely relate to feeling viscerally disgusting in your own skin......you're not over exaggerating, i promise. you are always going to have the right to feel a certain way about something that seems to dictate so much of your life. countless women are going through it. i struggle with this every single day myself and i honestly don't have all of the answers of even half of them, unfortunately. and sometimes nothing can calm me down from the shame i feel about being who i am, but here are a few thoughts/ideas that soothe me and may soothe you if you allow them to:

1. our perception of beauty is always being manipulated. they keep moving the goal posts and narrowing the standards to get us to chase these totally false ideals, purely because it makes money. that's it. they plant the insecurity, market a fake 'solution', and profit. when we look in the mirror a life time of conditioning looks back at us and the only way to get around it is to be consistently aware of that fact. once you begin examining and questioning why certain features are seen as attractive and others aren't, you realize that none of it really holds any ground. it has very little to do with our bodies, and everything to do with controlling them. it's all the result of a never ending advertisment, and engaging with it for too long is certainly going to exhaust you and fuck up your self perception. the way you see yourself is not as accurate as you think.

2. we are all going to be old and therefore conventionally unattractive someday any way. a defining factor of this game they force us to play is that we will never win. due to circumstance, or time, or just cause we're human. seems like for women we're not allowed to reach a day over 40 without being ridiculed for it. but i really do believe that getting older affords a certain amount of freedom. when you get to that point in your life, you're going to know yourself so much more than you do at the moment. your perspective WILL be different. you're not going to be basing your worth off of how you look because you'll have lived what you're capable of, and it's so much more than.......appearing a certain way for a moment in time. curating a life worth living pales in comparison to looking flawless. and i know it seems like you can't do that because you feel so gross, but you can - insecurity doesn't have to stop you from putting your best foot forward. you are worthy because you're here. you deserve to live because you are alive. at the end of the day, you don't have to like yourself, but you have to like BEING yourself. you have to learn how to enjoy your hobbies and opportunities more than you hate your skin or your face or whatever.

3. your body is here to experience and relate with the tangible world. it is the vessel with which you are able to walk, talk, love, eat, play, and enjoy. it is very very unconcerned with being palatable to the masses. ultimately, that is not what you exist for. it always comes back to that, no matter how much the world demands a performance of you - you don't have to give one. even if the so called audience doesn't like it. it takes time to truly accept that, i still can't. but working on neutralising the self is key. if you can't love yourself, just acknowledge yourself. these are my hands that allow me to create. these are my eyes that allow me to see. they are doing their job. they are okay. they can't be right or wrong. they just are.

4. self destructive thoughts are always over dramatic, always temporary, and often entirely untrue. it's ok to experience those urges, but do your best to find the line between having them and acting on them. it's alright if it takes a while to learn how. as long as you're attempting. that's all that matters.

5. try to consciously practice healthier thinking patterns on a daily basis. realistically consider how you judge others and why you're being so harsh on yourself when you would never act like that towards anyone else. understand that your energy, your presence, the way you smile and comfort and work, what you can give and receive - all of that is more important to pretty much everyone, than how you look. after a while, especially when you love or care for someone, their appearance becomes a total secondary characteristic. nobody is worrying that much over these self perceived flaws you're so stuck on, as much as you are. if they do take the time to mull on you, it's more likely they think something simplistic such as: oh there's that girl who lent me her homework or who always wears cool shirts, or whatever. they're too busy stressing about themselves.

6. attempt to build your own confidence. this is another thing i can't grasp either but. basically. you are going to be you for the rest of your life and that is a fact. the only realize you think it's a bad thing at the moment is because that's how you've been taught to feel. but you can unlearn, you can let go of what hurts. and that starts with accepting what you can't change and controlling what you can - your self esteem, your internal narrative, how you take care of your body and mind. even engaging in small, seemingly dumb exercises like pointing out three things you like about yourself in the mirror, can make a difference. you have all of the time in the world to learn how to be friends with yourself. but you might as well start now. baby steps are good. if you hide, spend half an hour outside, even once a week. get used to the discomfort. treat yourself. let it all contradict. growth is totally inevitable.

unfortunately, there's no all encompassing answer. you can know all of this logically and still feel Bad. and you're obviously allowed to be frustrated, to cry and break down, to have moments where you just feel entirely overwhelmed with self hatred - i can't figure out how to stop them, and i think they will remain with us for a while. maybe the goal is to just to cope with them in a decent way and not to prevent them all together. but those episodes are not an excuse to take your own life, ever. i can't think of a bigger fucking tragedy than the world losing you before you even had the chance to attempt living by an alternative narrative. you deserve so much better. i can't stress it enough. you have a whole open future just waiting for you, a healthy body to see it all with - it's going to be beautiful, it's going to surprise you even when you think you're a totally hopeless case. you're not. that's just another lie. your humanity is never going to depend on your physicality and anyone who can't accept that can fuck off!!! anyway i hope you know that there are genuinely so many resources available if you feel like this is getting Too much to handle by yourself. you're honestly not alone and if this is having a big impact on your overall stability then you're totally entitled to professional or medical support. it doesn't have to be a big deal. suicidal thoughts are not normal and there are people who will enable you to dissect and overcome them, you just have to make the initial choice to reach out. even if your brain is screaming otherwise. whether it's through school or a hotline or your doctor - communication WILL put your pain in perspective eventually, in turn lessening it. please consider it. even if takes you your whole lifetime to appreciate yourself, the fact that you're here and trying and navigating this shitty world is more than good enough. i'll be rooting for you from a place of total understanding until the end of time. please take and let me know if you need a friend. i'll be here.

*sorry if this didn't help. the other day i was having an Episode and nothing anyone said could've changed how absolutely disgusting i felt. sometimes it's like that. but this will always be here for you to look back on when you're in a more fair and objective state of mind.

#long post #tw suicide #im sorryyyyy this is so long and messy but u get my gist. ladies we r consumed by the world regardless might as well let them choke #anon

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fckeverything-v · 5 years

Text

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

47. What are you scared of? Heights.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

75. What is your life story in 6 words?

76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

81. Spirit animal?

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

99. What languages can you speak? English

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

103. Favorite food? Soul food

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

144. Prized possession(s)? little things

145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

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idedicatethisblogtodestiel · 6 years

Note

150 for the hella cute questions?

Who was the last person you held hands with?2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy man i hate people3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

JOJO SIWA4. Are you easy to get along with?

depends. im noice but i choose not to hang with people? if that makes sense5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

no one lmao6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

anyone thats not me but also democrat 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nah8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

ryan my friend9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Y E P10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probably my sister11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

me too lmao 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

idk i dont listen to new songs?????? AAAAAAH

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes unless but not if its in my face14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

LMAO LUCK IS REAL HOW DO YOU THINK DUMB PEOPLE GET FAMOUS?15. What good thing happened this summer?

i dont remember 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

lmao no fuck them17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

UH YEAH...OBVIOUS18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

idek who it was19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes but they are bad for you vag so i dont do it20. Do you like your neighbors?

ew no. 21. What are you bad habits?

i have OCD so i guess my compulsions22. Where would you like to travel?

israel, UK, Poland, Canada, Austrailia23. Do you have trust issues?

YUP24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

coffee25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

stomach then boobs then arms and then pretty much everything else26. What do you do when you wake up?

eat breakfast while watching youtube

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

im ok with it now?28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my parents/siblings29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

yeah lmao30. Do you ever want to get married?

that’s gonna be a no from me dog31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

ya32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

team free will, chris’ (evans, pratt, pine)33. Spell your name with your chin.

no.34. Do you play sports? What sports?

i used to play volleyball 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

music. WATCH MUSIC ON THE TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

all the damn time.37. What do you say during awkward silences?

nothing.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKO....

black curly hair, pun and meme connoisseur, loves dogs, loves horror movies

my aesthetic boy type is: people who look like kurtis conner basically39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

American Eagle, Bath and Body Works, Victoria Secret. But i go into forever 21 to just hate on everything then leave without buying stuff.40. What do you want to do after high school?

im in college now and im majoring in anthropology41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

depends on the severity of the sin/crime42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im seriously traumatized and have shut down.43. Do you smile at strangers?

yeah i feel bad if i dont 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outerspace45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the fact it costs money to live so i have to get up if i want money46. What are you paranoid about?

nothing much anymore I have meds for paranoia now47. Have you ever been high?

no i got asthma48. Have you ever been drunk?

yeah its fun49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

no im an average person i dont do weird things50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

green!51. Ever wished you were someone else?

YEAH WTF DOESNT EVERYONE?52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

how i look53. Favourite makeup brand?

tarte or benfit54. Favourite store?

starbucks55. Favourite blog?

animatedtext56. Favourite colour?

GREEEEEEN I ONLY WEAR GREEN AND BLACK57. Favourite food?

sushi 58. Last thing you ate?

ice cream59. First thing you ate this morning?

i think cereal60. Ever won a competition? For what?

volleyball and county art contest61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

i got expelled for not wearing sleeves when i had self harm scars62. Been arrested? For what?

no63. Ever been in love?

ya :/64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

too long but it wasnt awkward and it was on the harbor with an emo guy65. Are you hungry right now?

nah im constipated66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont have tumblr friends :////////////67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?

no youtube70. Names of your bestfriends?

Abbey Mell Nikki71. Craving something? What?

to shit tbh72. What colour are your towels?

white and purple and blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

373. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

embarassing but ya74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

idk i have several stored so im guessing 40-45?75. Favourite animal?

piggies raccoons dogs 76. What colour is your underwear?

white and black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

cinnamon, blueberry, bubblegum, chocolate covered strawberries, oreo79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

green80. What colour pants?

black81. Favourite tv show?

S U P E R N A T U R A L

82. Favourite movie?

lots final destination and heathers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

karen smith86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dont like finding nemo so idk87. First person you talked to today?

my parents88. Last person you talked to today?

my parents SORRY IM LAME89. Name a person you hate?

trump, rosie, loren, danielle, jacob, pence, so many more90. Name a person you love?

my dog remington91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

always92. In a fight with someone?

no93. How many sweatpants do you have?

394. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

10????95. Last movie you watched?

greta- not very good96. Favourite actress?

winon ryder97. Favourite actor?

all the chris’ and all of supernatural actors change my fucking mind.98. Do you tan a lot?

never99. Have any pets?

1 dog100. How are you feeling?

sad :/101. Do you type fast?

yep102. Do you regret anything from your past?

MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE103. Can you spell well?

???? like grammar or spell the word well104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

always105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

no ive never been invited anywhere i was bullied a lot106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah felt really bad, i rejected someone’s homecoming invite107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yeah as a baby108. What should you be doing?

homework109. Is something irritating you right now?

everything110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

have you seen my account?111. Do you have trust issues?

yup112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my parents113. What was your childhood nickname?

mosh, moshi, mashalala114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yep to oregon washington hawaii and colorado and poland and germany115. Do you play the Wii?

used to116. Are you listening to music right now?

no117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

ye118. Do you like Chinese food?

YE119. Favourite book?

probably beastly i read that so many times and how to ruin your boyfriends reputations120. Are you afraid of the dark?

nah121. Are you mean?

idk122. Is cheating ever okay?

I’d say no123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NOPE124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

haha no.125. Do you believe in true love?

doubt it but it’s possible126. Are you currently bored?

no127. What makes you happy?

S U P E R N A T U R A L

128. Would you change your name?

probably 129. What your zodiac sign?

gemini130. Do you like subway?

it’s aight131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

i wouldnt date a friend132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

sister133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hey hey mama just the way you move gonna make you sweat gon make you move134. Can you count to one million?

i refuse135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i cant my blood hurts136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed137. How tall are you?

5′7″-5′8″138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette orange140. Summer or Winter?

summer141. Night or Day?

night142. Favourite month?

october143. Are you a vegetarian?

no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark145. Tea or Coffee?

both!146. Was today a good day?

it’s aigh147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?

“they may forget what you did or what you said but never how you made them feel”149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

im too lazy(via itsgracesdrunkmametown)

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eddiespagheds · 6 years

Text

reddie youtuber au!

okay i know its been forever since ive posted my writing but i have a lot instore including a little prequal too this oneshot! i wrote this based off of a headcanon by @billdenbroughsponytail !! you should go check it out and show jenn lots of love!! i really hope yall like this!!

word count: 1348

ships: reddie

fluff cause im a sucker for it

Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak were both well known internet sensations, and have been for about 6 years now. Surprisingly enough their strong relationship of of 5 years began because of it. They now live together with their teams in a huge house where they film their Youtube videos.

Richie has a reaction channel that he uploads to every Monday and Wednesday while Eddie is an MUA that uploads every Tuesday and Thursday, and they upload daily vlogs everyday except for Sunday on a conjoined vlog channel they have. The happy couple wouldn’t be able to do any of this without their amazing crew that just so happens to be their best friends. Richie’s crew consists of Stan his editor, and Ben his writer while Eddie’s crew consists of Mike his editor, and Bill his writer, and Beverly films for both of them.

One day, all seven of them sat in their large office discussing video ideas for this week.

“I don’t know of a look I haven’t done yet Ben, it’s easy to run out of ideas rather quickly after doing this for six fucking years.”

Everyone just sat there staring at Eddie because it wasn’t like him to snap at someone like that, especially not Ben.

“Eds, maybe we should take a break for a bit, you’re starting to get really stressed” Richie began massaging Eddie’s shoulders almost instantly calming him down.

Eddie apologized to Ben before leading everyone to the living room where they ordered take out, and watched an old Friends rerun while simultaneously being on their phones.

“Have you guys seen James’ Twitter poll about shaving his eyebrows?” Bev laughed not even looking up from her phone.

“That’s it! I could tweet out asking what I should do for my next video!” Eddie practically jumped from his spot on the couch to go get his laptop, and he opened up Twitter when he returned.

“Okay, how does this sound? ‘Hey guys, tweet me some ideas for things you want to see in my video for Thursday!’” Eddie looked around the room, and saw approving faces reassuring him that his tweet was good.

About two hours later Bev grabbed the camera and began filming Eddie and Richie for the end of their vlog of the day.

“So, Eds here is about to reveal what you guys want his video to be about.” Richie said doing finger guns to the camera. “Okay drumroll please” He continued, switching to an impression of a ring leader. Bev turned the camera around, catching everyone stomping their feet and patting their laps.

“Well the majority of the people that responded are saying that they want to see the ‘Boyfriend does my voiceover challenge!’” Eddie said letting out a small giggle.

“Cute, cute, cute!” Richie was pinching Eddie’s checks as he spoke. “Hope you guys are ready to see the best damn voiceover in Youtube history” Richie sloppily kissed Eddie;s cheek, both of them laughing the whole time.

“Okay, that’s a wrap from us! See you guys tomorrow, please like and subscribe down below. We’re Reddie’s vlogs and we’re out!”The two said at exactly the same time since they had memorized their outro ages ago.

The following day they began to film Eddie’s video that was featuring Richie. The two sat in Eddie’s office that he always filmed his videos in. It had a pastel pink background, and a bright white table with a few mirrors on it. On both sides there were shelves filled with wigs, brushes, palettes, and so much more. There wasn’t a script for the video because Eddie could handle his intro, and the rest was going to be Richie saying whatever dumb shit came out of his mouth. Since Richie was going to be doing his voiceover Eddie just had fun doing his makeup while talking to Richie and Bev as she filmed the whole thing. It took Eddie about an hour to complete the look, and then he filmed his intro afterwards.

“Wanna film my intro with me?” Obviously Richie said yes because he was practically incapable of saying no to Eddie.

“Hello everyone, it is me Eddie K your favorite MUA, and with me I have Richie the trashmouth Tozier” Eddie spoke at a rather fast pace that made Richie let out a small laugh which only made Eddie laugh.

“I asked you guys on Twitter what you wanted to see for this week’s video, and surprisingly enough, you all wanted to see this idiot do my voiceover.”

Richie smirked to the camera before speaking.”And who am I to disappoint?” Richie winked to the camera, and Eddie only laughed the whole time.

“So, without further ado, let’s get into the video!” Eddie smiled as he watched Bev turn the camera off. Richie and Bev then made their way to Richie’s office where they would film the actual voice over portion of the video while Eddie waited in the living room.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Look at my Eds waving at the camera, looking all cute and shit. So, first he’s putting on lotion to keep his skin nice and soft and all that shit. Wait a minute...that’s my lotion! I used it with his mom last night.” Richie paused the video to wink at the camera before continuing the video. “He’s pouring some tan shit on the back of his hand, uhh i think it’s foundation or something like that. Now he’s fucking pounding it into his face with this marshmallow looking thing.” He stopped the video again and turned to the camera putting on his best Australian accent. “Aye, here we have one of the rarest of makeup marshmallows, completely edible, but hard to swallow.” Both him and Bev started laughing before Richie played the video and continued. “Now he’s putting some lighter tan shit under his eyes, probably to cover up the eye bags he gets from fucking me all night long. Now he’s putting on dome powder that’s whiter than Stan the man! I bet you could snort that shit. Holy shit look at my boy kill the game! Look at that contour. Y’all bitches can’t even spell contour. Is he putting shimmery eyeshadow on his cheeks??? What the fuck Eds.” He put on a bad British accent before speaking again. “Look at the lad, bringin’ out his eyes!” He chuckled a bit before averting his attention back to Eddie. “Oh my God, my Eds looks so fucking good with shimmery eyeshadow, it brings out his beautiful chestnut eyes quite nicely. Now he’s putting some black shit on his eyes. Ooh, look at the flicka da wrist, aye, look at the flicka da wrist. Yes look at my spaghetti man! Ohh I know what this is, it’s mascara. W-what is that orange thing? Why is he putting it up to his eye? Eds on’t do it, it’s an orange clockwork torture device! Oh, wait...nevermind, he just made his eyelashes look better. Look at all of those lipsticks he has. Ahh yes, he is choosing the red lipstick to symbolize spaghetti sauce because he is my Eddie spaghetti...I love him so much. And now he is spraying some shit that looks like water on his face. Wow he is gorgeous, look at his cute smile while he’s waving with his little hands aww.” Richie finished gushing over Eddie, and turned off all of the equipment before exiting the room, and Bev followed him out.

“Thanks again for doing this Rich.” Eddie said from where he sat on the sofa when he saw Richie appear in the living room.

Richie walked up to where Eddie was, placing a soft kiss on his lips before speaking. “Anything for you spaghetti.”

That Thursday the video was released, and it was a huge success. People have always loved seeing Eddie and Richie together, and that was very obvious based on the amount of likes, view, and positive comments that the video got. Bev and Bill had been telling them to do more videos together for months now, and maybe they’ll do just that.

let me know if you wanna be added to my tag list!

@trashmouths-love-to-cuddle @wlwrichie @eddiehoney @lovely-eddie-it @lovely-kaspbrak @kingsteve-more-like-dadsteve

#reddie imagines #richie tozier #beep beep richie #eddiek #eds #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #reddie fanfic #losers club #eddie spaghetti

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lizartgurl · 6 years

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So for your ocs could you do numbers 1 through 15?

1. How many different places have they lived?

Emma: Has traveled the world and speaks at least five different languages fluently. Can communicate somewhat effectively in ten others.Eliza: Has lived in Dakota City her whole life until she moved to BYU Idaho for school, and then Barcelona, Spain for a mission.Astra: Lingkyra was and always will be her home. Her spirit lives with those of her people. Mount Justice is welcoming, but can never measure up to her Ancient Utopia.Samantha: Sand Diego girl through and through.Kiran: Travels a lot to explore with her parents, but she’s only ever lived in Washington DC and Delhi, India.Jaina: There’s Coruscaunt, and unnamed secret planet for the protection of her and her brothers, Yavin IV for training, Mount Justice, Ossus, and then Coast City. The universe is her home.Lorena: Also a San Diego girl. But Atlantis is amazing too.

2. What is their dream vacation?

Emma: Anything where she or her family don’t have to fight crime. Even a staycation would be fine if Bruce wasn’t so focused on catching Calendar Man of all people.Eliza: She likes cruises so long as her parents aren’t helicoptering over her and her health all the time.Astra: No vacation. The Universe must be defended.Samantha: Family reunions are the best! Even a house full of flies is great, so long as she’s got her cousins, silly aunts, musical uncles, and the rest of the family (based on a true story)Kiran: Visiting Archaeology sites isn’t exactly a vacation for the Singhs, but it’s got the sightseeing built in and Kiran gets to skip school so she counts it. She loves spending time with her parents.Jaina: Just let her have peace and quiet for a few seconds that’s all she’s asking.Lorena: Hawaii.

3. What is their favorite color?

Emma: RedEliza: BlueAstra: PurpleSamantha: RedKiran: Pink!Jaina: Purple and GreenLorena: Silver

4. What is their favorite book?

Emma: Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. She reads it with Kaldur.Eliza: Secrets of the King’s Daughter by Renae Weight MackleyAstra: She has only ever really read the history of Lingkyros, but the myths and legends are entertaining.Samantha: Dragon Slippers by Jessica Day GeorgeKiran: The RamayanaJaina: It’s childish, but her favorite will always be the Little Lost Bantha Cub. Her parents reading to her and her brothers will always be her favorite memory.Lorena: Goose Girl and the other Books of Bayern by Shannon Hale.

5. Have they ever cheated on anyone before?

6. Have they ever been cheated on?

No, though Kaldur betraying the team feels a lot like being cheated on to those who loved him.

7. How many partners have they had?

Emma: She’s only seriously been with Kaldur’ahm, but she has dated Donna Troy, Luke Fox (he’s so cute, okay!), Frankie Charles, Nadimah (from the BG of Burnside), and a couple of people who are dead now.Eliza: Eliza has been on many dates, but she has only seriously dated one or two of them (Kaldur, and a guy from BYUI when he went dark)Astra: TwoSamantha: *Sammy voice* “Ain’t nobody got time for datin’!”Kiran: She’s been so wrapped up with her studies and her parents that she never really thought that anyone would want to be with her until she met Kaldur.Jaina: Jagged Fel, Kaldur’ahm, Tenel Ka, and Zekk PeckhumLorena: She had a “boyfriend” in middle school but it was a kid relationship. She eventually thought it was dumb and broke up with him. And now she’s with Kaldur

8. Already answered

9. Already answered

10. Introvert or Extrovert?

Emma: She’s in the middle there.Eliza: Introvert, unless she’s onstage. She gets spiritual support on her mission.Astra: Extrovert.Samantha: More introverted. She likes to keep to herself but when she does talk to other people or strike up a conversation with a stranger she can make them feel very special by the questions she asks and the attentions he gives them.Kiran: ExtrovertJaina: IntrovertedLorena: extrovert

11. Have they ever been arrested and why?

Emma: A few times as a hero, mostly when she was first starting as Finch, but she always escapes. She got a DUI once, on a bad day. She has never drunken again since.Eliza: Never. She is scared to death of police cars.Astra: She was never arrested on her home planet,t he model princess, but she gets approached a few times when first acclimating to Earth, but they were never good enough to actually bring her in.Samantha: NopeKiran: How dare you accuse my perfect angel.Jaina: So many times for various offenses during her rebel teen phase, which is strange because she’s supposed to be a Jedi. She is single-handedly responsible for half of Leia’s gray hairs.Lorena: She’s too good to get caught.

12. Who would they sacrifice their life for?

Emma: Literally everyone except the Joker or Lex Luthor.Eliza: Her parents, Raquel, Kaldur, the team, baby Amistad, and it’s not a person, but she would sacrifice everything for her belief in the LDS church.Astra: All the people of LingkyraSamantha: Her family especially, but also her teammates and the people of San Diego.Kiran: Kaldur, her kids, her parents, Kamala, M’gann, Artemis, Zatanna, Raquel, Gar, and Cassie.Jaina: The entire Universe, which she just might have to do.Lorena: Her family and all of Atlantis.

13. What are their spending habits?

Emma: She likes to be wise with her money like her parents taught her, but Bruce is a billionare so either way he sends her 5mil at the beginning of every month like he does the rest of his children.Eliza: She works very hard to earn money herself for her mission and her car (her parents insisted on paying for college, and they agreed that a mission was something to personally save for). She will always splurge on clothing, accessories, and stuffies. She owns a zoo and an aquarium of plush animals.Astra: She is very conservative with her money, only authorizing insane amounts of money on necessities like food, shelter, water, education, and protection for the people of Lingkyra.Samantha: Her parents can also pay for her school, but she has to save up for a mission. She shares a car with Abby when she gets old enough, but she doesn’t really like to spend too much money, unless it’s on food or books.Kiran: Is drowning in unused notebooks and pens. She loves to spoil Kaldur, and they both love spoiling their kids.Jaina: lol what money?Lorena: Gets an allowance from Aquaman for superheroing and spends so much time trying to think of how to spend it in a way that shows him and her parents that she’s responsible so she usually ends up putting it in savings.

14. Do they like hot or cold temperatures better?

Emma: She likes it in the middle, like fall/spring weather.Eliza: She likes the hot weather. Better for swimming. And outdoor theater performances!Astra: Lingkyra has a temperate climate over the whole planet, so extreme temperatures bother her to the point of sickness. She is not allowed to fight and of the ice or fire villains. Junior always tries to flirt with her anyway (she has that effect on people)Samantha: She likes the cold because then she can wear her scarves, hats, and favorite boots.Kiran: She doesn’t like desert heat, or winter cold. So let’s say in the middle. Fall has such pretty colors, and she can wear her favorite shawls (it’s like carrying a blanket all the time)Jaina: She does not care. Either way, she’ll adjust. And she’s probably seen worse before.Lorena: She likes warm wetter, also better for swimming.

15. Are they religious?

Emma: Yes, Christian.Eliza: LDS Christian.Astra: There are many religious sects on Lingkyra, but she has never participated in one, even though her parents were devout worshippers of their own sect.Samantha: LDS Christian.Kiran: Hindu.Jaina: Does being a Jedi and believing in the force count?Lorena: No.

(I really like making my characters religious. It’s very rarely seen respectfully in media, and religion plays such a big part in my life, I want to see it in others too.)

#ask lizart #lizart writes #my ocs #nightingale #siren #aster #salamander girl #sosltice #jaina solo #aquagirl

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