#off the menu podcast

[doctor-mccoys-sanity]

Just booked myself some tickets to see Ed Gamble in June🤭🤭🤭

[buckylokillewynluv]

Pistachio affogato. If you know, you know.

And yes, it is delicious 😃

[s3xymoonman]

me when i rewind that one part in joe quinn’s off the menu episode just to hear him like fucking groan again 😞 feeling sick and twisted.

[wexpyke]

i don’t think anything a celebrity ever says about fan fiction that was written about them and a co-worker/friend will beat what james acaster said wrt fan fiction about himself and ed gamble last night, to ed gamble (and a theatre full of people), which was (and i’m paraphrasing a little here), “of course you like them, you’re always the dom”.

he also told us about one where “i crawl into ed’s flat, on all fours, crying, because he hasn’t fucked me in the arse yet today”

[penelopepitstopp]

So James was on Ed's radio X show today and was not jealous or possessive at all, nope definitely not...

[waddle-avocado]

James Acaster looks like his bones are made of wire like those little toys that you can pose

[oxymoronish]

Ed Gamble and James Acaster: ‘Food is the ultimate topic. But famous people rarely talk about it'

[queenzufufu]

My auncle told me they were surprised to discover at Off Menu Live that Ed is almost the same height as James, and to be fair, if your only frame of reference was the podcast photos, you could see why they thought otherwise...

Like, he really does have some weird skill of making himself seem so much smaller without actually looking like he's crouching all that much. Whatever the opposite of that "he likes to be tall meme" is, that's Ed in Off Menu photos 😂

[ikeepseeingghosts]

James and Ed talk about fanfiction part ?/?

(context: they're discussing if pineapple makes cum taste better)

[noel-fielding-web-page]

[x]

I wish they did the whole episodes available, of course, but thanks for this reel at least :)

[icallhimjoey]

Favourite joe interview?

[magnetic-rose]

lmao listening to joe quinn on this podcast and he just started a mini rant on how weird americans are.

“they’re so forward! they say ‘i appreciate you’... i don’t say that to my MOM, do you know what i mean? they’re just like ‘here, i appreciate you.” or like, obviously because we [british people] are apologizing all the time, we’re saying ‘sorry’ and they. DON’T. do that. they go like, ‘you’re fine’ like ‘you’re fine!’ and they’re like ‘you’re good’ and i’m like, ‘i know i’m good, i’m just sorry!’

[thenaturalfriends]

Peak ADHD Storytelling: "Off Menu" spends six minutes defining the flavour of an Australian soft drink.

James: Your dream drink, Sam Campbell.

Sam: [Surprised] OH. Well, I’m gonna go with Portino.

James: Portino? I so badly wanted it to be something that I knew what it was.

Ed: But why break the habit of a lifetime?

James: What is it? What’s Portino? I don’t know.

Sam: Um, so, um, it’s like a…

Ed: Do YOU know what it is, Sam?

Sam: To me it’s a really luxury soft drink. Wimmers, Wimmers, Wimmers. Wimmers. Wi-Wimmers. Ed Gamble. Wimmers. It’s this amazing…

Ed: What are you saying?

Sam: In north Queensland where I’m from…

James: What were you saying a minute ago? What was that?

Ed: What was all that?

James: What was Widders?

Sam: Just, connecting with other people.

James: Did you say Widders?

Sam: Wimmers.

James & Ed: WIMMERS.

James: W, I…

Sam: Double M

James: Double M.

Sam: E…

James: E, R, S. Wimmers.

Ed: What’s Wimmers.

James: What’s Wimmers?

Sam: It’s a, well thats the, that’s the company that’s making these amazing drinks.

James: Ok. Wimmers makes the soft drinks.

Ed: Wimmers.

Sam: To me the top flavours, that Wimmers… I’d say Portino, I’d say, there’s one, double sasparilla? Do you have that here? But… double? 

James: Not a double, we don’t really even have sasparilla but like I know what you mean, I know those drinks.

Ed: I don’t know what sasparilla is, really.

James: No, we’ve never really been clear on it, I think we talked about it on the podcast before that we’ve never really known what sasparilla is.

Ed: I only know it from The Simpsons.

James: Yeah.

Ed: From the saloon scene in The Simpsons.

James: Yeah, yeah.

Ed: And grandpa drinks it. In The Simpsons.

James: The sasparilla.

Ed: Do you know what sasparilla is, Sam?

Sam: Yeah! [long pause]

Ed: Wha—------------what is it, how do they make it, what’s in it…

Sam: Oh, I couldn’t tell you, molasses? I dunno.

Ed: Yeah, ok, yeah.

James: What’s it taste like?

Ed: So, no.

Sam: It does taste sort of licorice-y, I think.

James: Licorice-y and sweet and yeah, ok, what’s your number three on the top three, even though we still don’t know what Portino is?

Sam: Portino is number one. Number three is one, there’s one called CRAVE and I couldn’t tell you what that is but it’s blue. It’s just called Crave.

Ed: Yeah. 

James: Crave.

Ed: It’s called Crave, but it’s your number three, yeah?

Sam: Of the yeah, of Wimmers. Yeah. I got back into Wimmers soft drinks kind of recently, I was back in Queensland for a little bit and um, yeah, I think it is the most popular soft drink, like the biggest selling.

James: Where? In Australia?

Sam: Not in Australia. Most places in Australia don’t even have it. This is like, there’s even places in Queensland that don’t have it. But if you’re in Nambour or Peregian or Noosa you will get this.

James: Ok, what are any of those places? Where are they.

Sam: This is like, north Queensland.

James: North Queensland. 

Sam: You’ve been to Queensland, surely. 

James: Yeah, but I haven’t been to those places. I think I saw that last one on a sign once, but like, I’ve not been there. Um, so, Wimmers soft drinks are the most popular soft drinks in those three places.

Sam: I reckon they might be, yeah.

Ed: Would they beat Coke as well? Be more popular than Coca Cola?

Sam: Yeah, it’s like how in Scotland, Iron Brew out-sells Coke. It’s amazing.

Ed: So what’s Portino? This is your big favourite.

Sam: This is like, I just remember the first, well, if I could like take you to Mon Repos so I… yeah… so, I…

James: Tell me about it. Ed’s just doing some admin.

Sam: Ok. So I was friends with this kid called Joseph O’Hare, well, our families are friends, he’s got a pigeon chest, juts out, his ribcage, like that, which he’s had fixed.

James: Congrats to Joseph O’Hare.

Sam: And I didn’t even know it was a thing he cared about but you know whatever, yeah.

James: Yeah.

Sam: And so we used to muck around Mon Repos. That’s where the turtles? Lay their eggs? 

James: Is this the Hare and the Turtle… the O’Hare and the Turtle story?

Sam: No, no, no, no, no, no, so this is where turtles go off to to lay their eggs and also the eggs hatch, and that was the best, cause if they went off course you got to actually pick up a baby turtle and put it into the ocean. Amazing. But yeah, we…

James: The thing is, because we got you to tell ‘The Hare and the Tortoise’ earlier, I feel like you’re Keyser Soze-ing us right now with a story you’re just piecing together from stuff we talked about earlier, so your friend Jimmy O’Hare who used to live near the turtles.. It just feels a little bit suspish. Carry on! 

Sam: Why would I… This is my life! Just my reality. But yeah we used to love, we, and you know, we just loved drinking Portino and making up our own [inaudible]

Ed: Bonito, I don’t have enough reception to find out what Portino is, would you google it and put it on the screen for us, thank you. Sorry, Sam.

James: So you and Jimmy O’Hare, Jimmy O’Hare what lived near…

Sam: Joseph O’Hare.

James: Joseph O’Hare lived near where the turtles came and laid their eggs and you and Joseph O’Hare would go and look at the turtles.

Sam: Yeah, yeah.

James: And you would drink a lot of Portino while you were doing that.

Sam: Yeah.

James: Great. What is Portino.

Sam: Well I just remember… like, we were huge into playing like um cricket, but with, not with, just with the lid of the bin, you know what I mean? That’s what we’d do. And I remember this guy coming up to us, and he, he said you–and I don’t know, we don’t even know this guy but he goes, ‘You guys could have fun in a plastic bag.’

[Long pause for audience laughter.]

Ed: [Getting information from the producer.] Um, It’s grape and berry flavour.

James: It’s grape and berry.

[Applause.]

--from the Sam Campbell live episode, released 02-March-2024

Sam has stated he has ADHD, the other two have not AFAIK, but honestly I don't know if these buddies have two dopamine molecules to rub together between the three of them.

[urineedward]

hello james acaster tumblr. i’m back again. does anyone know where these pictures are from please i need to know. he looks so silly and so good i’m going to peel my skin off

[j-acaster-updates]

- photos from off menu birmingham last night!

via offmenuofficial on insta

[penelopepitstopp]

James being harassed by a certain little shit circa 2013.