#oh god now i can't help but imagine this thirteen year old boy child as having the gruff and boisterous voice of jk simmons

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Karkat: WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE PERSON WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!

[newtonsheffield]

There is absolutely no way Edmund Sharma hasn't been traumatized by walking in on his parents... I don't know if you've already written this but could we please see a time when it happened?? Thank you so much for answering all our crazy asks! - we just can't get enough

Oh he's definitely walked in on them having sex. Definitely.

Anthony and Kate might be in their thirties and they might have a teenage son, but they missed a lot of time together, so they're right back into super horny teenage mode, and you know it. And perhaps they weren't always the most careful initially about where things happened

In hindsight, it had been a terrible idea. Edwina had taken Edmund out for the afternoon, she'd wanted to spend some time with him before school started back, so they'd gone to the cinema, and Matt had said he had something new to show Edmund at the museum and maybe it was selfish, but Kate had enjoyed laying on the couch with Anthony, her face tucked into his neck, feeling the comforting rise and fall of his chest under her as they lay together.

"I'm really glad Neddy has such a big family now." She'd whispered, playing with the edge of Anthony's shirt as he frowned.

"You said he was shy, but that's kind of hard for me to imagine, now."

Her chest ached, when she thought about how many times she'd gone to pick him up from school and seen him, alone outside, as the other kids congregated in groups, talking animatedly, Edmund was in the corner, reading a book quietly.

"He just... He was quiet, he still can be with people he doesn't know but I think your family is really helping. They all love him so much and I'm grateful."

Anthony sat up a little tilting her chin towards him, "He's our son, and he's family. There's nothing to be grateful for, it's what family does."

It was stupid, to let herself be pulled into it, here on the couch, to let Anthony pull off her sweater, his grin like a small boy at Christmas as he tugged off her jeans, but she'd pulled his clothes off as well and let herself be pulled into his orbit in s a clash of teeth and tongues and wandering hands as their hips ground together, his hands tight on her thighs, wrapped up together until-

"I just saw the best-Oh my god!" Edmund had burst through the living room door, excited to tell them about his afternoon, his face falling open in horror as Edwina rounded the corner, followed by Matt who clapped his hands over Edmund's eyes in surprise.

Anthony let out a loud Fuck! and in his panic pushed Kate firmly off him, letting her fall to their living room floor with a sharp thud!

Humiliation seeping into the very fibre of her being, Kate ignored her sister's guffaw of laughter, sliding the throw blanket off the nearby armchair.

"Edmund, honey, we were just um-"

"No! I don't think we need to talk about it!" Edmund turned on heel sprinting upstairs clearly mortified.

Edwina cackled, "Well Well Well, Anthony, barely a father three months and you're already traumatising your child. And Katharine, for shame."

"Hey Kate." Matt finally managed to squeak out, his eyes pointedly staring at the ceiling. "Anthony."

Anthony's ears were burning red, "Um... does he know about-" He made a crude gesture while Edwina guffawed again.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Yes, Anthony, he's a thirteen year old boy. I took that conversation off your plate a few years ago. You're doing the next one by the way. Edmund asked me if adults only have sex for babies or if it just feels good. I had not idea what to say."

Anthony looked relieved, "Okay, so this might not be so bad."

"He just caught me riding you on his favourite sofa, Anthony, I think it's bad. Edwina stop laughing!"

Edwina was nearly purple, tears rolling down her face, gasping for breath, "I'm going, I'm going."

Her laughter following her down the hall as she left.

In the end they got a new couch, and had to put up with Edmund announcing his intent to enter the room very loudly for the next few months.

"Edmund is coming into the room!"

"Everyone's fully dressed in here, Mate!"

[secretlyatargaryen]

I really am surprised that when I went into ATLA I knew absolutely nothing about Zuko as a character other than that everyone on tumblr kept saying he had the greatest redemption arc ever. I didn’t even know if it was like, a villain to hero redemption arc or a jerk to less of a jerk redemption arc or a redemption equals death arc or whatever (and I’m not going to get into how one of the problems with how tumblr discusses redemption arc Requirements is that there is never an acknowledgement that there are so MANY different ways to write a redemption arc), but I did know that there was a redemption arc, so I did pick up on a lot of the early groundwork that the show lays to make Zuko sympathetic even as a villain, but even so there were some things that I didn’t expect that ATLA does in interesting ways, and one of them is the reveal of how Zuko got his scar.

The scar is brought into the narrative early on, first by virtue of the fact that it’s hard to not notice, although it’s kinda easy to dismiss at first as just something that makes him look scary and like a villain, but by the third episode we’re given some context for what the scar means to Zuko through his confrontation with Zhao.

Zhao: You can't compete with me. I have hundreds of war ships under my command and you? You're just a banished prince. No home, no allies. Your own father doesn't even want you.

Zuko: You're wrong! Once I deliver the Avatar to my father, he will welcome me home with honor, and restore my rightful place on the throne!

Zhao: If your father really wanted you home, he would have let you return by now, Avatar or no Avatar. But in his eyes you are a failure and a disgrace to the Fire Nation.

Zuko: That's not true.

Zhao: You have the scar to prove it.

Zuko: Maybe you'd like one to match!

Zhao: Is that a challenge?

Zuko: An Agni Kai. At sunset.

Zhao: Very well. It's a shame your father won't be here to watch me humiliate you. I guess your uncle will do.

Zhao walks away. Front view of Zuko, with Iroh in the background.

Iroh: Prince Zuko, have you forgotten what happened last time you dueled a master?

Zuko: I will never forget.

At this point, I don’t know what an agni kai is but it sounds like some macho BS, and given how much of Zuko’s interaction with Zhao is a dick-swinging contest, it’s easy to assume that this is more of Zuko just being an Angry Villain. There are some interesting things that are revealed in this conversation, though.

Zhao is competing with Zuko for Angriest Villain, which is usually a good set up for Villain Redemption. So far, so good.

Zuko’s a prince but he’s been banished. His father doesn’t want him. Zuko disagrees. Loudly and Angrily. Zuko is most definitely wrong. We get a feel for why Zuko is doing what he’s doing.

Wow Zhao way to rub salt into the wound. The show has already told us that Zuko is a teenager, but this is another scene that emphasizes just how young Zuko actually is. We see Zuko disrespect Zhao in typical spoiled royal teenager fashion but then we get this adult being unnecessarily cruel to a kid, including expressing joy at the idea of humiliating him in front of his parent/parental figure. This also emphasizes how little respect Zuko gets within even his own nation as royalty.

Zuko’s whole persona of “I’m the prince and also a scary villain and I definitely do not need to calm down, uncle!” is not really working out too well for him.

We learn the scar is somehow connected to his status as disgraced royalty.

Okay, so an agni kai is a duel, and that’s definitely how he got the scar.

The story behind the scar is vaguely alluded to here. What I assumed going into this based on this conversation was something like, Zuko challenged a master to a duel and lost (gaining the injury which resulted in the scar) and was thus disgraced and banished.

What’s kind of interesting about this is that upon my watch I assumed that this was something Zuko had done wrong. Since so much of Zuko’s early personality is I Am Ready To Fight, it’s easy to assume from this conversation that what happened was that Zuko challenged the wrong person to prove he was big and bad, faced someone who was more big and bad, and lost. Macho BS. I also assumed it had something to do with succession because Zuko really cares about "his throne" and was politically disgraced as a result of what happened, so I imagined that Zuko tried to go for a petty power grab or something. Probably the kind of thing that happens all the time in Evil Fire Land.

This is standard character building, especially for a sympathetic villain, or an antihero, or just a jaded character. Sometimes this literary device is referred to as “the wound,” or the thing in a character’s backstory that drives their psychology and inner conflict. It’s usually done in either one of two ways.

Character was a Terrible Person and made a Terrible Mistake and is Paying for It

Character was once a Bright and Sunny Innocent Child but then Everything Turned to Shit

What’s interesting about how ATLA reveals this with Zuko is that they do a kind of bait and switch, where it appears to be the first one but is actually revealed to be the second one. For other examples of this trope in the show, Iroh is pretty clearly the first one, and Aang is pretty clearly the second one.

Remember how I thought that Zuko had challenged the wrong person and lost because he’s a macho idiot teenager?

Gather ‘round and I shall tell you the tale of how Macho Idiot Teenager was once an Adorable Ponytail Unicorn

Here it comes, the Macho BS. You are a Baby step down.

“You know I don’t really think that we should be using new recruits as human meat shields. That’s kinda evil.”

Well, that's reasonable, actually. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, though!

In Evil Fire Land we solve all of our conflicts with a Duel to the Death, of course! Fight a military general? Yeah, I got this! Ohmygod, calm down, Prince Fight Everyone

What’s happening now, Oh my lord

You know, I don’t really think -

Sir, this is a child.

That’s...really intense.

So yeah. I thought Zuko got banished for fighting but he actually got banished because he didn’t fight. I thought he got into a fight because he was being an idiot but he actually was being a Good Person. Obviously I didn’t think the Fire Lord was going to be a nice person but you gotta be a huge dick to burn the face of a crying, surrendering thirteen year old just for having morals. Also it’s your son and heir and you do it in front of a huge crowd. This is before we find out about all the Bad Shit going on in the First Fire Nation Family which Kinda Explains It.

This is one of, if not the most intensely disturbing scene in the show and it manages to be that in a show that’s entirely bloodless (take note, Game of Thrones) and doesn’t even show you the actual scarring scene. It helps make Zuko sympathetic but not just in a This Character Has Suffered way or a This Character Was Once a Nice Person way (because the indications that Zuko has more to him than just macho badness are peppered throughout the first season), it also helps explain Zuko’s personality and motivations and you can actually see that the thirteen year old boy and the bald ponytail jerk are the same character, whereas lesser characterization would increase the contrast between the two characters for dramatic effect. The effect here is actually more dramatic. One of the things that makes Zuko redeemable is that we aren't just privy to how he became the way he is, we get to see that he is actually still the same character in a lot of ways as the child who spoke up in defense of his nation's soldiers, and that his bad actions are motivated not just by that deep emotional wound but by extreme psychological conditioning. I've talked a lot about Zuko and cognitive dissonance because it's strongly tied to what makes him a believable and interesting character.

Also Zuko didn’t just not fight because it wouldn’t be honorable to fight dear old dad, his father actually manufactures the whole situation so that there was really no way Zuko was going to be able to fight back. I’ve written about how Ozai is manipulative before because I don’t see a lot of discussion of that and the show gets it across in some subtle ways, and this action by Ozai is as manipulative as it is brutally violent. That’s something that hits you as you learn more about the dynamics in Zuko’s family. Zuko isn’t just sympathetic because he is a Sad Woobie who Once was Innocent and Good, his family really did a number on him, oh my god.

[gone4neow]

The New King ♔ dks

Chapter Twelve

- kyungsoo x reader, royalty AU, prince!kyungsoo

- warnings : swearing, mature content, arranged marriage, good looking men

- word count : 2,795

chapter eleven or chapter thirteen or masterlist

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

The princess took a deep breath as she looked down the small hill. At the bottom of the hill, she could see the reflection of the moonlight on the river's surface. If she looked harder, she could see the figure of a man sitting on the embankment of the river. Her heart pounded against her chest and her trembling fingers had shown up for an encore.

"I'm right here if you need me," Kyungsoo whispered against the shell of her ear before he placed a tender kiss against her forehead. She nodded and took a brave step forward. Once her feet had began to move, she couldn't get them to stop. Her footsteps were quiet, but the mystery man still seemed to hear them over the sound of the crickets singing into the night. He turned and looked at her with raised eyebrows. When she met his eyes, her feet finally found the power to stop. Her eyes were wide and full of disbelief.

The mystery man was Park Chanyeol.

"Oh my god," she whispered into the summer air. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion as she watched the tall man rise from his seat on the grassy ground. He walked over to her slowly. He swallowed his nerves as he made his way over and cleared his throat before he let a soft 'hello' roll off the tip of his tongue.

"Hi," The princess replied weakly.

"I think there's something we need to talk about," he told her quietly. She agreed with a simple nod of her head. He glanced up the hill, just now noticing Prince Kyungsoo standing with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. The man was already intimidating enough with the sun up. Chanyeol drew in a sharp breath at the sight but allowed the corners of his lips to lift.

"Your bodyguard for the night?" He questioned in a playful manner. The princess glanced over her shoulder at the man she loved and couldn't help but smile softly.

"You could say that," she replied. Chanyeol revealed that he lived in a small cabin next to the mill, along the riverside. He insisted that she joined him there, claiming that he had some things he needed to show her. She called out to Kyungsoo - who was at her side within a few seconds. Her hand rested against his right arm comfortingly as he glanced between Chanyeol and her with fire in his eyes. She explained that they were going to Chanyeol's cabin and he hesitantly nodded.

The three arrived at the cabin within just a minute. It was small in size but stood at an astonishing height. It was decorated with flowers all around and the walls of the cabin were painted a light blue that looked almost green due to the fire of the lantern hanging by the door. The princess would have never imagined Chanyeol living in such a place, but she thought it suited him well enough. The inside of the cabin was sort of messy, but it was a welcoming mess. It looked lived in; it looked like the man's home. He quickly lit a few lanterns and the small space glowed.

"I know this is all strange, but I promise I will make sense of it before you leave," Chanyeol told the woman. He cleared two seats around his small table, that sat neglected in the corner of the cabin. Kyungsoo and the princess sat down at the table and watched as he rushed around the small space. He collected a few leather journals, as well as a few scrolls, and finally took a seat at the table next to the princess. His eyes flickered up from the handful of items sitting on the table's surface to the princess's.

"I'm not entirely sure how to go about this, so please bear with me," Chanyeol told her. She could tell he was nervous from the shakiness of his words. His lip trembled as he spoke ever so slightly. She found herself feeling sympathy for the man, wondering if this is what she had looked like all day. His large hand grabbed at one of the leather journals and he flipped through it until he found what he was looking for.

"When I was a small boy, this man would visit me a few times throughout the month. I never really knew who he was until I was old enough to understand the concept of people existing outside of my mother. We lived alone - in a small cabin like this one on the outskirts of your kingdom's village," Chanyeol began his story, his eyes traveling across the piece of parchment in his hands. He stopped speaking and looked up from the parchment to meet the princess's eyes.

"The man's visits came to a slow when I was around nine. He told me it was because he had a child that he needed to take care of because her mother wouldn't. He would visit once or twice a month, but he would send me letters weekly. He would bring his daughter sometimes, but he couldn't after her mother found out where they had been going. Do you know who that man was?" Chanyeol asked the princess. She stared at him with curious eyes.

"Who?" She asked quietly.

"It was your father," he revealed softly. Her eyes grew at the revelation. She released a nervous laugh, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Why would my father visit you so often?" She asked with confusion in her voice. Chanyeol handed her the piece of parchment that rest in between his fingers and she looked down at it with furrowed eyebrows.

"Because he was my father, too," the man confessed in a whisper. She looked up from the parchment and looked at him as if he had grown three heads. He was nervous and his eyes watched her every movement. He had anticipated her rejection for years now. Again and again, he had pictured this very moment in his mind.

"Read it," he urged her, nodding down at the parchment in her hands. She looked back down at it with a speeding heartbeat. She felt a thin layer of sweat covering her skin already. Could it be true?

'My Dearest Grace,

For years now I have hidden a large part of my world from you. The pain I have felt from having to keep my two favorite creations separated is indescribable. If you're reading this then that means I have passed away and Chanyeol has found you.

You're probably wondering why I have waited until this moment to bring you together. I've asked myself the same question for a while now. Perhaps it was fear - fear that your mother would end up tearing you right back apart.

I don't want you to be angry. I want you to live a life you can look back on and smile because you lived a life you loved. You do not have to accept Chanyeol with open arms, but he is your brother and I love him as much as I love you. Be gentle with him. I hope you can find it in your heart to care for him and to one day forgive me.

Love,

Your Father'

The princess held a shaky hand over her mouth as she stared at the parchment. For a second she thought she was going to burst out into violent sobs, and then she thought she was going to release her stomach's contents all over the table. Kyungsoo's hand found hers under the table and he gave it a gentle squeeze. She looked up at him and lowered her hand slowly. He could see the tears in her eyes, the pain and shock in her face's features. He hated to see her so distraught when he knew there was nothing he could do to help sooth her pain.

"You told me you didn't know me," she whispered accusingly at Chanyeol, her eyes finding his as she did so.

"I was told not to. You don't know how hard it was to keep quiet when I saw you in the bakery and then you came back multiple times after that... it was like you were taunting me. I've been alone for most of my life and I finally had the chance to have my sister - it wasn't fair," he replied to her in a frantic tone. She stood from the table quickly, and Chanyeol found himself standing just as quickly. He was just about to plead for her to give him a chance when she threw her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into her. He was considerably taller than her and bent down so that she wouldn't have to strain to reach him. An expression of relief washed over his face as he let his chin rest on her shoulder. He felt her shoulders shake as she cried and within a few seconds he was crying himself. Kyungsoo felt as if he were invading an intimate moment and looked away from the pair to stare at his empty hands. There were several things he had expected to happen tonight; this was certainly not one of them.

The brother and sister held each other for a few minutes and pulled away one another once their crying had died down. The princess laughed lightly as she looked at Chanyeol's tear stricken cheeks, letting her thumb wipe at them until they were gone.

"Come back to the castle with me tonight. We have too much to catch up on," she insisted. Without being able to say no, Chanyeol agreed. He told her to give him a few minutes to gather some of his belongs to go. She was fine with that. She took a seat next to Kyungsoo, her hands finding his.

"I have an older brother," she whispered with amazement in her voice. He smiled softly and reach over to wipe a stray tear from her face.

"You know what this means?" He asked her quietly. She sent him a questioning look. He glanced over at the tall man before he leaned forward and spoke again.

"Chanyeol's the new king."

Chanyeol and the princess stayed up until the sun was rising again. They shared stories about their father that neither had known before. The princess felt bad for having her father around her at all times while her brother had only gotten him for a few years, and so she let him do most of the talking. They laughed and they cried, but they had never felt more whole in their lives.

"I can't sleep," Chanyeol whispered into the dimly lit room. He glanced over at the princess, who laid with a peaceful expression. She asked him why he couldn't sleep without opening her eyes. She was exhausted, but she found herself not able to sleep either.

"I'm afraid when I wake you won't be here anymore," Chanyeol confessed. He watched as the princess's eyes fluttered open. She sighed quietly and shifted in the bed so that her head rested against his chest. He let an arm wrap around her lazily as he stared up at the ceiling.

"I've always wanted a brother and now that I have you, it will take a war to separate me from you," she mumbled into his chest. A small smile formed on his lips.

"I hope I'm a good big brother," he sighed. When the princess didn't reply, he realized she had fallen asleep. He tried to recall their brief moments together as a child, but he could only remember small details. He had been so angry at the universe for keeping him away from his family all these years and, finally, the universe had given him what he wanted. It was too good to be true. He let his eyes close, trying to evade the worrisome thoughts. Before he knew it he was slipping away from reality and into a dream.

He woke up the next morning to loud whispers. His eyes cracked open just slightly to see the princess gesturing towards him as she spoke with Prince Sehun. He hand his hands on his hips and his eyebrows were raised as if he were upset by what the woman was saying. Chanyeol quickly raised up in the bed and held his hands out.

"I c-can explain," he stuttered with a slight slur to his words. The two royal figures looked at him in surprise. The princess couldn't help but giggle at the sight of his wide, tired eyes and his messy hair. Sehun suddenly bursted with laughter and held onto his stomach as he did so. The sound of his silly laugh only made the princess's giggles blossom into full on laughter. She held onto the prince's arm as they laughed together. Chanyeol looked at them with confusion in his eyes.

"What?" He finally asked, aggravated with them. They slowly sobered up from their intoxicating laughter and looked over at him.

"I've already told Sehun you're my brother. Besides... I am not with Sehun," the princess explained. His eyebrows shot up quickly and he pointed at them accusingly.

"But you're engaged!" He exclaimed. The prince and princess shared a glance with one another.

"I'm with Prince Kyungsoo."

"And I'm trying to be with Junmyeon."

Chanyeol blinked at them once, twice, and then a third time before he raised his hand to pressed his palm against his forehead. He had always assumed there was complications within the castle but he could have never imagined anything this complex. He listened to the prince and princess as they explained their situations. Disbelief could not describe how he felt as he listened. Suddenly he was looking at both Prince Kyungsoo and his fellow employee at the bakery differently.

"Prince Kyungsoo - is he good to you?" He asked the princess once everyone had fell silent. He watched as her cheeks transformed into a warm, pink shade and an adoring smile formed on her face. It was an expression of nothing but love.

"Oh, he's the best. I could go on and on for days. He's quiet at first, but I think you and him will become good friends," his sister answered him. Prince Sehun scoffed before he teased the princess for being so in love with his brother. He couldn't deny the fact that seeing the two together made him happy. While he knew he would never be able to love her like she deserved, he knew his brother would. He was glad his brother was getting the privilege of loving someone as wonderful as the princess, too. He grew unusually quiet as he began to daydream about nieces and nephews. I'll be a damn good uncle, he thought to himself.

The princess introduced Chanyeol to all of their friends after lunch. They welcomed him with kind smiles while he bowed before them respectively. His sister assured him that he didn't need to do that - he was a king after all.

"Princess, how many times am I going to have to ask you out to dinner before you say yes?" Baekhyun asked the princess as they sat against the cool grass out in the garden. The princess pretended to consider his words thoroughly, while her brother's head snap towards them quickly. He had stopped talking mid conversation with Jongdae to listen.

"C'mon, I would do anything to have lunch with a pretty woman like you," Baekhyun added with a suggestive smile as he looked over at the princess. She was about to laugh and push at his shoulder playfully when her brother spoke up.

"Hey! Don't flirt with my sister like that when she's already spoken for!"

Everyone looked between the two men, feeling the tension in the air already. Chanyeol glared down at the childlike man who had been speaking with his sister while Baekhyun simply stared up at him with amusement. Everyone was even more surprised when the sound of Kyungsoo's laughter sliced through the thick, tense air.

"We're keeping him," he told the princess once he had finished laughing. She rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile.

"Baekhyun always speaks to the princess like that and sometimes she plays along. It's just their friendship - they know there's no feelings involved," Sehun explained to the king with an amused smile. Chanyeol's lips parted at the man's words. Jongdae and Jongin laughed at his expression, teasing him when they saw his face turn a bright shade of embarrassment.

He shook his head, looking down at the ground with closed eyes. The corners of his lips were lifted despite his embarrassment. He realized that this is what he had been dreaming of having all along. Perhaps this could eventually become his family.