#oh god wait what if someone sees this

[madame-mongoose]

no you know what fuck it goodnight

[secondbeatsongs]

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

[yuwuta]

gojo assistant to gojo househusband is EVERYTHING to me he’d be so good at it. packing up bentos before work, visiting u for a lunch break, visiting u for a shoulder and neck massage. hes just so cute. i bet that even when he gets to a househusband role he’d still do some assistant duties and he absolutely is against u getting another assistant bc he’s been that guy and he knows u are too easily fallen in love with. he’d probably only give up that role to someone that he trusts 100% and knows that won’t fall in love with you like yuuta and even then he probs gets a tiny bit irrationally jealous when yuuta knows a lot about your schedule and habits bc that’s HIS job but a lil smooch from u will have him too flustered to even remember what initially ticked him off

when he finally makes it out of the work husband territory, he’s already wildly insufferable as a boyfriend. but when he finally becomes your husband? all bets are off—if people thought satoru couldn’t be louder or prouder of you they were so, so very wrong. he was born for this. 

sends you off with a bento and a kiss every single morning, and then calls you right before lunch time to remind you to actually take your lunch break and eat—and maybe because he wants compliments on the food he made you. when he can’t send you off with lunch, he has yuuta deliver it for you, or he drops it off himself, which is always a welcome surprise, not just for you, but everybody in the office. it’s nice that he’s remembered so fondly, and some days he does miss it, but he wouldn’t trade in being your husband for the world. 

so true about yuuta being his replacement—satoru was very, very thorough in the vetting process of hiring your new secretary. he knows how easy it is to fall in love you, he knows what it’s like to be the work husband and he refuses to hire anybody else who might think even slightly like him. so, call it nepotism or call it favoritism, but yuuta is one of maybe three people satoru actually trusts with the job. turns out yuuta is best suited for it anyway, which brings satoru even more relief. on the days he really misses you, it makes him pout when you recount all the times yuuta saved your ass, but a kiss or two really is he needs to be brought back to reality. 

he’s always calling or texting you with paint samples or fabric samples, and you’ve learned to not try and make sense of satoru’s interior design priorities. you really don’t think that the guest bathroom needs new wallpaper, but he does and if he wants to install it, who are you to stop him. so many days you come home from work and he’s like, “oh, babe, my mom called in a friend of a friend and turns out her husband can make us our own version of that vintage couch you saw in the museum display last week,” which is. absolutely insane because that’s easily a $25,000 couch, but he just waves you off about it and asks you what color you want it in—he’ll handle everything else. 

[stromer]

you could be having a straight up horrible time watching your team play hockey and a dude who calls himself biznasty unironically will show up after to discuss how shit they are . that's just ridiculous to me

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

NOOOOOOO DETECTIVE WILLIAMS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED MORE TIME YOU AND YOUR WIFE WERE MY FAVOURITE COUPLE!!!!!!

[actualbird]

im having an anxiety spiral on my priv twt bcuz of vague ails and im sharing it here because the tail end made me laugh (and also because sharing my woes is like my number 1 hobby)

EDIT: ADDING POLL TO CROWDSOURCE REASSURANCE FOR ANXIETY

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[fbfh]

good news wildcats, I'm finally watching hsmtmts s4. I just finished episode 1 and I am SCREAMING.

toxic ricky is back!!!!!!!!!!! unhinged unstable season 1 ricky my darling!!!! my beloved!!!!!!!!! my pathetic soggy prayers have been answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[frecklystars]

I fucking love Ryan Gosling in these Barbie interviews. Someone asked "hey what would Ken say in his bio on a dating app? what kind of person is he looking for?" and Ryan's like "uh... well before he even looks for a Type Of Person™, he's gotta be real up front that he's got no job... and no house... no real prospects of any sort, really, he just kinda sleeps on the beach, and -- you know what, he doesn't even have a phone? I... I don't know if he can even sign up for this app?" and Margot said "oh but he has abs. That should get him somewhere" and he said "no, no, I don't think he even has an email address, I don't think there's any way to contact him??"

and it's like three minutes of them talking about Ken not even having any pickup lines because his way of flirting isn't even flirting, it's him picking up something Barbie accidentally dropped (even though Barbie doesn't make mistakes) and saying "oh hey you dropped this 😳" and then offering it to Barbie and then when Barbie says thank you while making eye contact he's shaking and thinking "oh god what a perfect day Barbie looked at me" and then he'll ride that high the entire day. and the interviewer was like "but that isn't a pickup line" and Ryan said "no I don't... I don't think Ken does that, I think he just creates moments with Barbie and cherishes them" WHAT THE HELL SIR YOU'RE MAKING ME FALL FOR KEN EVEN MORE

[ajdrawshq]

i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game

[todayisafridaynight]

hi

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her

and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?

anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[jils-things]

fontaine stuff blahblah

before the trial even started i was like. "watch. the twins are going to be not what they seem." AND I WAS RIGHTTTTTT OUUHHHHHH I DIDN'T THINK THEY'RE FATUI BRUHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I KNEW THEY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE KNAVE BUT NOT LIKE THISSSSSS

THE WHOLE COURT GIMMICK IS MY FAV FOREVER. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH ACE ATTORNEY AND DNGRNP VIBES ITS SOOOO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

LIKE THISSSS FUCKS SEVERELY UGHHH the court record thing reminds me of aa so much and then the CRIME RECAP (SEE IMAGE) IS DEFINITELY THE CLOSING REMARKS FROM DNGRNP LIKE DHHDHFHDHDSS MY GOOUYDGHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

MY HUMSS ASS IS SHAKING ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[spotsupstuff]

Sparrows is peak character design because she is the perfect mix between epic and cool but also the scrunkly

ah yes... The Pinnacle

she's just. to me she's just fail and cringe with a good heart n moral compass, for the LIFE of me i can't assign the words "cool" and "epic" to her ough -face in hands-

[qyriaha]

sometimes u think about that thing ur friend told u when u were 11 and even though you know full well 100% you were actually friends it really does make you question the whole thing