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wheel-of-fish · 4 years

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By the Numbers: Ben Crawford, Ali Ewoldt, Jay Armstrong Johnson

By the Numbers: The Ben Crawford/Ali Ewoldt/Jay Armstrong Johnson Stream, August 22, 2020

[long-awaited submission from Aldebaran; I’m putting it behind a cut]

Oh my gosh, an epic stream deserves an epically long and epically late By the Numbers! Come with me back in time, all the way back to two weeks ago, which in pandemic days is a month and a half. Before we were treated to Giant Ivan and Tiny Tamara in Moscow, there was The Swagger, The Disney Princess and The Bot…

This was a fantastically fun boot to watch as part of a group of enthusiastic Saturday Streamers! Plusses included an earlier-in-his-run Ben “The Swagger” Crawford as the Phantom, with the spotlight on his booming baritone voice, and Ali “Paris’s Sweetheart” Ewoldt as an enchanting Christine. And—Jay Armstrong Johnson (we’re pretty sure) as Raoul. Or some semblance of Raoul. Something was up with Raoul in this performance and the consensus was there may have been robotics involved. I won’t say more here; the streamers have it covered below and a fantastic set of memes by Onthevirg/faunaproductions caught tons more great moments. Very very nice filming job by a master who clearly knew the show well and anticipated major moments and character moves in a smooth manner. Not a bot though. As far as we know. And featuring an AIAOY– let’s just say that has to be seen to be believed.

Some stats on the stats: An asterisk * indicates a recurring category. All numbers are accurate except where they are not. I was tempted last week to resort to making crap up for this recap, but resisted the temptation. I will occasionally add in a missing letter or two. If a person’s train of thought is split up, I will ignore intervening commentary and put that thought back on track. Occasionally, by design or by mischance, a comment or two will be moved slightly out of original chronological order. Or wildly out of chronological order to cater to a theme. Or a whim. Only when it’s funny. There is also no clean way to say the word “organ” which pops up a lot in this stream. (See what I mean? It can’t be done.)

*Suggested names for this boot: The Animatronic Boot, The Better Than Cooper Boot, The It’s Alive! Boot, Robot Roll Call Boot (Okay, nobody suggested these. It was me. I suggested these)

*Statistician’s Favorite Boot Name: mechanical hands down, The RaoulBot Boot

*Wow, we like to talk about Phantoms: It has become clear to me that we like to talk about everybody. And everything. Phantoms, Christines, Raouls, Mandalorians. Here are most of the people mentioned in the stream. There is no context. Just like a real stream!!!

John Riddle (9), Gina Beck (8), Ramin (6), Rob Houchen (2), Ethan (1), Eiji (1), Uwe (3), Jordan Craig (2), Sierra (1), Steve Barton (3), David Shannon (2), Norm (14), Earl (1), Cooper (2), Darua (4), Thiago (11), Rachel Barrell (1), Meghan Picerno (2), Cherik (19), Pedro Pascal (1), B*rbour (7), Eva Tavares (4), Ted Keegan (5), Maree Johnson (2), Quentin Oliver Lee (1), Jeremy Hays (1), Ben Jacoby (3), Andrew Keenan Bolger (1), Greg Mills (1), Michael Maliakel (1), KKA (8), Jordan Donica (1), Kyle Barisch (8), Andrew Ragone (3), Paul Stanley/Stankey (3), Hannah Gadsby (2)

Residual Stolle Thirst: Residual Stolle Thirst from the stream a week prior to this one, plus Mr. Stolle’s appearance as Passarino AND the Conductor in this boot resulted in >32 mentions. There may or may not have been comparisons between his Raoul and this boot’s Raoul. I certainly wouldn’t put it past us.

Epithets for Ben Crawford: Ubiquitous mentions of Crawdaddy and The Swagger. More personalized and clearly personal epithets: Big Ben—ktarinajones, BENBENBENBEN—whereisthepersian, OH HELLO VOICE—butdreamsofbeauty, my horny bastard and I love him—ktarinajones

Epithets: reader’s choice as to which Phantom(s) the following apply to (no one in this stream): Fuckface McGee–therosenpants Sir Scruffsalot—snows Voldemort—Benny-Lynne Traschcan–therosentpants

Antici_____pation:

I can’t wait for jay I honestly thought they’d slapped a human face on a robot and called it a day—angedelamusique

Let’s all just have fun trying to spy hints of actual emotion in Jay’s Raoul—GlassPrism

Oh there will be memes. Ben Crawford is a walking meme and there will be a robot on stage—ktarinajones

Oh boy, here we go—GlassPrism

We love a trainwreck:

I love this stream crowd because you all show up for trainwrecks just as enthusiastically as you do for good actors—wheel-of–fish

We love a trainwreck!—butdreamsofbeauty

we’re ready—angelofthelake

trainwrecks are v satisfying—christinegrrl

We’re here with roses, we’re here with rotten fruit, we’re versatile! A good tirefire is a marshmallow roast–snows

Debut of RaoulBot: Before the show even began, JAJ’s Raoul had a name:

RaoulBot—ktarinajones at 20:01:33 (historic occasions get timestamps!)

wait they can’t moisten the raoul if he’s a robot, can they?—butdreamsofbeauty

they can oil him—ktarinajones

oil the raoul, perfect—butdreamsofbeauty

He has a silicone exterior—Benny-Lynne

wd-40—wheel-of-fish

How do we know he is waterproof? Let’s see if he sparks when he hits the Raoul Hole—Aldebaran

Earliest Meme Generation: Our intrepid memester Virg had material for a meme within 8 minutes 27 seconds of the start of the stream.

Love is in the Air: There was a lot of love in this stream

Ali Love: >32

Laird Love: 28

Carlotta Love: 20

Filmer Love: 5

Extreme John Riddle love: 2

when there’s video of John Riddle the filmer can have a kidney if they want—ktarinajones, seconded by christinegrrl

And then there was Jay:

Oh he did a head nod. Well done.—Bozzleboz

At least Jay doesn’t shoot a policeman—PureAnon

Several head turns in succession there. Getting ambitious.–Bozzleboz

Illumination!: Auction Raoul set the tone for the evening to come, and the chandelier seized the moment to shine.

OMG, his jaw moves just like a real person….or a nutcracker—Aldebaran

His batteries are running down. Maybe they will wire him for the new electricity.—Aldebaran

Robot Raoul is using all the electricity—Aldebaran

That chandelier isn’t rising—Ladyrock18

It’s not rising because they have to unhook the cables that power Raoulbot—DocTy

The chandelier shows more emotions than Jay as Raoul—Maze-zen

Erik made a Raouldoll to add to his collection?—Benny-Lynne

The chandelier shows the full range of human emotions. That is why it was cast.—haunted-hideaway

The chandelier is more expressive than this Raoul—Carole

The chandelier can actually sing in morse code—DocTy

Meanwhile backstage Raoulbot is recharging in his alcove—Aldebaran

If you listen closely you can hear diesel generators in the background recharging the batteries—DocTy

C’mon guys, he’s solar powered—ktarinajones

is that why he stops working in the dark during AIAOY–christinegrrl

Statistician Aldebaran wonders if she will be able to handle viewing Cherik:

Oh I finally finished the 90’s miniseries! I have thoughts!—Abberina

Abberina do you have thoughts other than “I hurt, I am in pain”?—snows

@snows the ending was WILD—Abberina

Abberina, I spent the whole day lying and crying after the 90s miniseries, are you allright?—Carole

“Wild”??? How are you still living! That ending! Gghh!—snows

Do you need something? A glass of water? Therapy?—Carole

My heart hasn’t recovered yet. And I watched it 4 years ago.–Carole

Christine Who?: One would think that Christine’s debut in Hannibal would have the streamers’ full attention. But no. All eyes were on Raoul in his box. Or maybe just unpacked from the box he came in.

can it be? can it be a robot?—christinegrrl

can it be chreeeestineeee—butdreamsofbeauty

engage clapping program—Aldebaran

clap beep boop clap clap—angelofthelake

beep boop clapping action beep boop—Jadowdra

EXECUTE EMOTION—missbuster

Stache or cache?: Once we were beginning to get an idea of the limits of Raoulbot’s programming, we turned our attention to his most character defining feature—the mustache.

omg mustache—MelancholysChild

His mustache is a little full for me. Oh well. I guess that’s where he hides his secrets.—haunted-hideaway

wowWWWW—put that boy in a floofy shirt and stick him in the pirates of the caribbean ride at disney, damn—snows

it’s where he hides his processer—therosenpants

haunted he needs something to cry into—ashadeintheshade

That is not a mustache, that is fiber optics—Aldebaran

although he is stiffer than the other robotic pirates—snows

Haunted, his secret is his charger entrance—Carole

You keep your secrets then, Raoul—haunted-hideaway

Autocorrect Follies:

Pinging = Piangi–Bozzleboz

Paul Stankey = Paul Stanley—IamErik771

Ironic Statement is Ironic:

I always forget there’s an elephant–yiks

Cooper finds a role:

[as Buquet appears] oh hey look it’s cooper!—snows finally a role for cooper, buquet all the way—Aldebaran ohh wait sorry it’s the other scruffy creepy nasty weirdo—snows

*Best from Onthevirg’s Mom: “like stolles passarino cooper should always be buquet—it’s a fitting role”

Joseph Buquet job performance review:

DO YOUR FREAKING JOB BUQUET. –madamefaust I’ll never get over that line “i promise i wasn’t doing my job!!!!!”—butdreamsofbeauty

The Boy Ain’t Right: Little Lotte made it very apparent that Raoul may have been compromised.

Don’t make fun of him, you guys. The tiny alien in his head driving his body is doing his best, ok?—haunted-hideaway

li tt le l ott e—tearoses

So….Erik’s looking like an awesome choice right about now…–HerbalPath

Usually i’m r/c but uh not today—yiks

His hat is just an excuse he’s going to recharge a bit—Carole

That was almost threatening how he said little lotte—Ladyrock18

*Vintage MadameFaust: Don’t quote me too much, my knowledge is based on judicious use of Wikipedia;-)

[inspired by Raoul’s Little Lotte performance] CHOCOLATES

HUMANS LOVE CHOCOLATES *Biggest Organ in Paris: The mirror scene included a thunderous organ accompaniment. It took me ten minutes to write a non-filthy sentence that conveyed that information while containing the word “organ.” The Saturday Streamers were fired up! Except for a certain statistician–

WOAH—therosenpants THAT ORGAN—PureAnon ORGAN—haunted-hideaway Wow—DocTy ORGAN!—butdreamsofbeauty did you hear that??????—therosenpants organ—DocTy Orrgannnnn—Xyloghost that roused me from Lore Olympus—therosenpants ORGAN!—Jawodra What’s with the loud organ?—maze-zen organ AWESOME—snows THE ORGAN WAS PERFECT—whereisthepersian I loved it!—MelancholysChild Is that new? that’s BADASS–snows Organ <3—Carole The organ is loud because Ben is loud—PureAnon Erik is playing his pocket organ–Abberina It’s the phantom of the phantom of the opera—wheel-of-fish

Oh God now I have to count Organ mentions (>20) and everyone is going to judge me—Aldebaran

*What scent are the Phantom’s candles: Previously established in the official “Love That Lair” candle line, in addition to Vanilla Brown Sugar, Cucumber Melon, Tobacco Spice, Underground Despair, and Hopeless Mist, the newest entry unveiled for this stream was Sepulchral Solitude, a light and airy blend of ennui, nihilism and condensation, perfect for occasional bouts of midnight composing.

*The Phantom’s pillows mentions: 2

obligatory pillow mentions, they are a nice colour scheme–missbuster

Baritone Love Fest:

we! love! a baritone! phantom!—butdreamsofbeauty

Baritones are the best!–PureAnon

Yes!—JacobZ

Yes to baritones. To whatever they ask.—Aldebaran

baritones are incredible—angelofthelake

I like em big and boomy—Bozzleboz

yes they are—MelancholysChild

The deeper and boomier, the better—PureAnon

*Erik has Skillz:

Okay so Ben just flipped through about six alternate personalities in a single line, and that’s impressive—snows

his voice is like chocolate sauce—Benny-Lynne

His voice is so deep I wanna scuba dive in it—Benny-Lynne

The Swagger at Rest:

Sir must you spread your legs so—snows

snows yes he MUST—ashadeintheshade

nice stance—MelancholysChild

Oo. Manspreading—Bozzleboz

but like… the good kind–snows

Sweet Music’s Throne: Ben’s nascent aggression came out in his organ playing. The INSTRUMENT!

OMG HIS KNEES This is really funny to me—madamefaust

He is def using his knees a lot—christinegrrl

Oh he’s….trying to play the keyboard—missbuster

He’s putting his back into that organ playing, there—haunted-hideaway

he’s definitely a more aggressive phantom I think—wheel-of-fish

A good squat workout I guess?—christinegrrl

Lift with your knees man—haunted-hideaway

The key to being an organist is all in the lumbar–Jacobz

Ben’s stance remains a source of….let’s call it concern. Yes, concern:

He’s got good stance—ashadeintheshade

why are his legs SO far apart though—butdreamsofbeauty

because they’re so loooong—missbuster

power stance—MelancholysChild

is he riding an invisible horse?—jadowdra

And, inevitably, boner mentions: 5 (You know who you are. Good thing, because I was watching Ben.)

The Phantom is pleased to announce: boner mentions are ummm holding firm

Christine makes questionable choices:

oh she looked down—christinegrrl

she totally looked down and then bolted but let’s be real WHY RUN—snows

Boner-adjacent vocabulary:

Horny and variants (>17)

Lusty (2)

Organ—THE INSTRUMENT!! (>20)

Christine does not stan a crafty Phantom:

he’s doing so well then he has to bring Barbara into it—Virg’s mom

SEE? I MADE THIS FOR YOU?

OOPS

THAT DID NOT GO TO PLAN—haunted-hideaway

Strange Ships: The debut of a long overdue category highlighting all the really random ships that are proposed during a given stream.

Erik/RaoulBot—haunted-hideaway

Andre/Carlotta–????

Barbara/severed Hannibal head—????

Christine/Luigi—ashadeintheshade

Barbara/new and improved sexbot from LND—Onthevirg

RaoulBot/Barbara—DocTy {streamers were split here that Barbara shouldn’t settle versus OTP}

Yes, I know, it’s a great disservice to Barbara but still, maybe they can bond over replacement parts—DocTy

Only in this streams I walk away with either a new favourite actor, a fanfic recommendation and/or a new pairing to ship—Jadowdra

*Education of the Innocent: Several seminars were held this stream. First, a wide ranging and frank discussion of historically accurate ballet rats, pimping and ummm social diseases. We segued from a dissertation on our own Madame Giry as a probable pimp to the topic of the hierarchy of French Royalty. These topics heavily featured our resident history buffs therosenpants, angedelamusique, PureAnon and madamefaust, with varying degrees of participation in the pimping and social disease discussions. Second, a discourse on “the catch” and variations, the catch being allowed in London and not on Broadway due to union rules. A variant unknown to me, the “half catch” was mentioned. Third, a sadly eye-opening (for some) discussion of the “horsey dance”:

Look, Norm was directed to do the horsey dance. Anything is possible on Broadway.—madamefaust

sorry a HORSEY DANCE—butdreamsofbeauty

HORSEY DANCE???—onthevirg

horsey dance…??—angelofthelake

ah yes the ever classic jumping up and galloping horsey dance—madamefaust

It was more of a forceful trot during ‘Order your fine horses’ in Final Lair—madamefaust

faust you can’t just drop that in chat and not explain yikes—butdreamsofbeauty

someone link the gif—andgedelamusique

[fatefully the gif was linked]

thanks, I hate it!—butdreamsofbeauty

OH I thought that was a JOKE, that was REAL?—ashadeintheshade

oh noooo I saw that in like a compilation of funny phantoms and i thought it was a joke oh no—ashadeintheshade

The Horsey Dance claims more victims–Aldebaran

STYDI Sound effects:

[the Phantom collapses]

plorp—wheel-of-fish

plorp—MelancholysChild

Now I want to hear his palms squeak on the ground—madamefaust

I’m Jewish and I don’t approve of this level of ham Curse youuuuu—JacobZ

Prior to Il Muto the organ makes another appearance. The INSTRUMENT!!!:

Organ boop!—Bozzleboz

Organ again. Oh God now I said it.—Aldebaran

Aldebaran, you can’t escape the organ. The Phantom’s organ WILL find you.—PureAnon

this Erik is so extra he took the organist’s place in the orchestra—DocTy

Il Muto Pillow Mentions: 1

Fascinating discussion about which is worse/better, bad actors or boring actors:

It’s the old argument between what’s worse bad or boring—GlassPrism

is it better to burn out or fade away—wheel-of-fish

Is it more fun to watch an Uwe or a Thiago—GlassPrism

Thiago activates my RAGE setting.—madamefaust

AIAOY is never make me watch this again: Words cannot capture AIAOY. Nevertheless we tried. Here are selected comments.

EXECUTEEMPATHY2.0—missbuster

Maybe there is a rat driving him by his mustache like in Ratatouille. Raoultatouille.—missbuster

turn.her.90.degrees—Aldebaran

if she shakes him, I bet we can hear him rattle—DocTy

Raoul.exe has stopped working—christinegrrl

he bluescreened—butdreamsofbeauty

error 404—angelofthelake

can you even play Doom on this Raoul?—Jadowdra

Does he even like her?—madamefaust

He’s just staring into the abyss—angelofthelake

Why did no one tell him that wooing does not involve low-level dread—JacobZ

<10> no more talk of darkness GOTO20—snows

<20> forget these wide eyed fears GOTO30—snows

his wooing program has bugs–Aldebaran

YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN MY ARCH-ENEMY THIAGO–madamefaust

are they actually kissing?—madamefaust

now you must place your face upon her face and remain still—butdreamsofbeauty

this is depressing—virg’s lil sister

It’s more fun to suffer as a group—wheel-of-fish

Prevailing Theory:

The Phantom clearly switched Raoul with a mannequin—Maze-zen

Fondly Remembering Christian Lund during this AIAOY: 4

Fondly Remembering “the Boop” during this AIAOY: 5

*Requests for AIAOY Kiss replay: 0

Priorities Straight: Host Fish caller for dog pictures on her blog during the stream, resulting in the following mentions

Dogs (35, may need to be adjusted as one of Flora’s dogs is large enough to count as two), Goats (6), Cats (9), Rabbits (5), Chickens (3) Regular non-Cherik deer (1) Pig (1) Cherik deer (9) actual human children (1)

The Masquerade, or as some wags had it due to the mannequins on the staircase, the de Chagny family reunion:

Let’s see the robot try to dance—katarinajones

dance.exe—whereisthepersian

dance.exe failed to start—phantomofthebasement

He is going as a robot to the masquerade–Aldebaran

People gonna trip over his charging cable—whereisthepersian

Relief is the wrong emotion to feel when the Red Death arrives:

Why at a costume party is everyone afraid of a costumed man? How do they know to be scared? Do they hear the background music?—JacobZ

It’s his authoritative stance—madamefaust

Christine’s reaction maybe?—ktarinajones

I think they’re afraid he’s going to drop another chandelier on them. Which, valid.—madamefaust

They saw the bead work. They know who it is.—haunted-hideaway

*Sad comment is sad: commenting on the ornate bow on the score for Don Juan Triumphant

He wraps it up like the present he never received.—haunted-hideaway

*Fathering Gaze lyric: 1

*That staff tho:

“I’m going to a graveyard. I should take my shooty stick with the skull on it!”—haunted-hideaway

We passed the Point of No Return long ago. From the auction, in fact:

his accent, lol–ashadeintheshade

Accent—Bozzleboz

itsa me…—Aldebaran

ITSA HIM—madamefaust

I hate you all—wheel-of-fish

And Ben plays videogames backstage. His inspiration is literally Super Mario.—madamefaust

That was some nice cup stroking—GlassPrism

The Raoul Hole holds no dangers for Raoulbot:

Oh no he’s going to rust and shut down in the lake—wheel-of-fish

They spray him down and moisten him before he jumps in, otherwise he’ll just float on top—haunted-hideaway

Raoul’s wifi is down once more:

Is the boat stuck? Oh, there it goes—madamefaust

The radio signals running Raoul confused the boat—Aldebaran

The organ makes a return in Down Once More: The INSTRUMENT!!!!: 2

Veil Fluff Mentions: 2

he didn’t fluff the veil—ashadeintheshade

I like the veil fluff–ashadeintheshade

Veil Yeet Mentions: 11

The Kiss. An actual human kiss, unlike AIAOY:

ohhh he bends into the kiss—Aldebaran

Aw he’s TRYING to figure out how to kiss—Flora-Gray

He done touched a lady.—haunted-hideaway

That was a good kiss—Abberina

Bozzleboz breaks me, as the Phantom approaches hanging Raoul with a candle:

I burn him now, yes?–Bozzleboz

The Phantom breaks us:

oh god. He just broke me.—Bozzleboz

ohhhh poor angel—Aldebaran

aw erik :(–angeloflake

he’s so resigned:(–Benny-Lynne

we love an exhausted depressed sewer man—butdreamsofbeauty

This Phantom survives just so he can go disassemble Raoul—Aldebaran

Looks Like We Made It:

Time to go plug Raoulbot in for the night—angelofthelake

Performance Comparisons for Raoul/Career Suggestions for Raoul, You Decide:

Nutcracker—Aldebaran

Mannequin Bride—coroaline

Tin Man—christinegrrl, yiks

Edward Scissorhands—GlassPrism

Calculon from Futurama—IamErik771

C3PO—wheel-of-fish

Automaton—ktarinajones

Dalek–missbuster

Cardboard Cutout—haunted-hideaway

Hat Stand–Bozzleboz

*Things I wish I had said:

Christine in Final Lair: She has to go put Raoul in a bag of rice but she’ll be back—Benny-Lynne

*Statistician Aldebaran’s two favorite personal quotes:

little known fact, the red scarf is actually a fanbelt from Raoulbot

19 years on the score, 1 year on the bow

Phew! See you shortly with the By the Numbers of Moscow from LAST week!!! Aldebaran

#saturday streams #aldebaran #by the numbers #submission

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theycallmemoosey · 6 years

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Give me Something to Believe In...

Newsies x Last Five Years

Characters - Jeremy Jordan, Ben Cook, Ben Frankhauser, Andrew Keenan Bolger, Fiona (OC), Simon (OC)

Pairing - Jeremy x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing…think that’s it to be honest

Word Count: Look, I wrote this on my phone, and I’m not about to count. It’s a long one, so sit comfy

A/N: Wayyyy! Second fic. So, this is deep, and sad, so don’t hurt me. Please. I really tried with this and I know some of it isn’t accurate to real life but hey, just enjoy. It escalates a wee bit quick at the end, so sozzles about that. Oh, and I tried to add a gif, but tumblr wasn’t having that…aaaaaand as always, I gotta thank my rock, @musicaltheatrenerd2002 for just being there for me and motivating me. I wove ya. Anyways, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t bother to look at the door when you heard the key in the lock, but instead, you snuggled further down into your hoodie and watched the next episode of Stranger Things. You heard the door close, followed by the keys being thrown onto the side table next to the door. You felt a gentle kiss on your forehead and two loving hands massage your shoulders. “Feeling any better?” You tilted your head backwards and smiled at Jeremy, “Not really, but at least I have a voice now” He chuckled, giving you one more kiss before walking over to the other end of the sofa, picking your legs up and placing them on his own. “They’re missing you at rehearsals…” “I’m sure they can live without Katherine for a few days…” “Y/N, it’s been a week” You sighed, pausing the episode, “I’ll be in by Tuesday…it will only take me two more days and I’ll be good as new” “Please get better baby girl…I miss not being able to kiss you” You kicked him playfully, “I’m glad to know that’s all I am to you” He grabbed your feet and kissed one, “baby, you’re so much more than just a kiss. Although, I would like one now” He started to come towards you, and you pushed him back, rolling off the sofa and behind the kitchen counter, “No!!! You’ll get sick! And you of all people cannot get sick!” Jeremy just laughed at you and turned back around on the sofa to watch the TV and you padded back around, placing yourself next to him and snuggling into his side. “Thought you didn’t want me to get sick?” “I need a cuddle…” Jeremy laughed and kissed the top of your head.

A few days later, as predicted, you were better, and walked hand in hand with Jeremy to the studio where you were both rehearsing for Newsies. You met at auditions, and playing opposite roles, of course you both fell for one another. You hadn’t been together for long at all but you both knew how much you loved each other and moved in within the 80th rehearsal. Now, you were at the 168th rehearsal, 12 rehearsals away from opening night. You walked into the studio after Jeremy, greeting a load of smiling boys. Ben was the first to come and hug you after becoming particularly close with you and Jeremy. “Welcome back, missy!” Ben pulled you in tight “Heya Benjamin, how you doing?” “Yeah, good, good. I’m tired, but good” Ben just smiled. You couldn’t help but watch Jeremy talk with one of the other girls. You saw them smiling and laughing and you couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous, but that was until Jeremy looked back towards you and smiled, winking. The rehearsals continued, and yourself and Jeremy walked to the studio together, rehearsed together and walked home together. When the two of you got to spend Sunday’s alone, you would typically chill out at home binging on pizza and Netflix. Sometimes, Jeremy would take you out on a date to a restaurant or the movies after rehearsals, but with the amount of work you were both under, it was a rarity. When the shows started, so did the arguments. He was constantly off to interviews and press nights, leaving you alone every day. The only time you saw each other was on stage. He wouldn’t even talk to you backstage. Instead, you would stand there and watch him talk to the showgirls. He promised it was nothing but you weren’t convinced. He apologised that he was always away from you and he promised to make things better. “Jay, how can you promise that?” “Sweetheart, please! This is our career! Don’t…don’t you want this for us?” “Us?! Jeremy, you’re the only one going to conferences and interviews and parties…it’s fantastic that your career is going great but what the hell am I doing? Is this it for me?!” “No! Sweetheart! Sweetheart, you’re incredible at what you do! Don’t you DARE say otherwise” Jeremy took your arms and stroked them lovingly, trying to reassure you. You tried to get out of his grip, but he resisted. “Babe, Y/N…I’m going to be honest with you. If I didn’t believe in you, I wouldn’t have loved you at all. Y/N, I think you’re the best actress out there…if people can’t see that, they’re blind!” You looked at Jeremy with tears in your eyes, and you took your arms away from him and wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. “Come here…gimme a hug…” Jeremy opened his arms and you walked to him, embracing him tightly, crying into his chest, hearing light shushes from Jeremy. Surprisingly, the relationship between the two of you got better. He was more caring and spent more time with you backstage. He went to the same amount of paid interviews, but he refused to go to as many parties if you weren’t invited. The relationship at home got better too, as he would spoil you rotten by cleaning and cooking and doing things that all girls want their boyfriends to do. A few years later, Jeremy and you had a Sunday to yourself. To you, that meant a lay in followed by a day of gaming and pizza, but Jeremy had other plans. He dragged you out of bed at 8 and picked out your outfit, which wasn’t bad for a boy with no dress sense. He took you down to the park, along with a grand picnic. You spent the afternoon by the biggest lake in Central Park, laughing and talking about the cast and crew of the show. In the evening, Jeremy took you by the hand to the bandstand. “You know, we should go see that museum you’ve been wanting to see…” “Next Sunday?” “We’ll see…” “J, don’t tease me like that” you laughed, pushing into his side. Jeremy pulled you into one of his famous bear hugs and swayed you from side to side. He grabbed your hands and spun you around, so that he could grab you from behind and continue dancing. You smiled when you heard him sing I Never Planned On You in your ear. You felt his grip leave you and you turned around, looking into blank space. Confused, you looked down, noticing your boyfriend on one knee. “Jay…” “No, Y/N, let me do the talking!” You laughed, resisting the urge to sob loudly, although you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “You beautiful, beautiful thing-“ “Thanks Jay” you laughed, crouching down to be eye level with him. You noticed how he was trying to stop crying too. “Just…lemme finish. Anyway, I…I love you so…so much. Baby girl, I…oh god I’m crying now…” he chocked back a sob, taking your hands in his, “Just. Screw the speech. Marry me, Y/N. Jesus Christ, please?” “You pansy” you embraced him in a hug, finally sobbing like a child also, “course I will” Jeremy laughed, tears falling from his eyes as he slipped the ring on your finger. He stood up, pulling you with him and hugging you tightly. Not long after, the two of you got married in front of both your families and all the cast of Newsies. Typically, when yourself and Jeremy kissed, the whole of the cast cheered in true Newsie fashion, causing you to laugh away from the kiss. The shows continued as usual, the audience becoming more and more passionate after the other. Married life with Jeremy made your relationship stronger, although you noticed him look at other girls a lot more. One night, after a difficult show, you flopped into bed and playfully screamed, making Jeremy laugh and make circling patterns on your back. “Babyyyy…what’s the matter?” “I’m tired. Is it Sunday tomorrow?” Jeremy laughed, “no, Y/N, it’s um…Thursday tomorrow” “NOOOOOOO” you screamed into the pillow, curling up into a ball towards Jeremy, who simply pulled you towards him. “How about, we get some sleep tonight, and we’ll spend the morning in bed tomorrow and won’t leave for the theatre until last minute. Pizza and Xbox and films and-“ “You” you looked up at him, pouting your lips for a kiss. Jeremy obliged and kissed you, “and me” he smiled at you and pulled you in closer, rubbing circles on your arm as he turned the TV on. “What do you wanna watch, Y/N?” “A musical…” “Aren’t you bored of-“ “Rent.” Jeremy just laughed at you, “Okay then. Rent it is” Halfway into Will I, you turned to face Jeremy, who simply held your arms. “Jay…” “Y/N?” “I…um…what do you think about trying for…a baby?” Jeremy’s eyes widened and he chuckled once, reaching to pause the film. “I…errr-“ “I’m sorry…I was just thinking about it. I saw a baby outside stage door today and I just couldn’t help but-“ “Sweetie, it’s okay” “You’re gonna tell me you don’t want kids aren’t you?” You frowned. “Actually, no. I couldn’t think of anything better to do. I want to have a baby you or me running around a house, singing songs and dancing like you” You smiled at him, “really?” “Really” “Really, Really?” “Really, really” You squealed, pulling Jeremy into a hug. He rolled you over onto your back, tickling you ferociously before he started to kiss you deeply. A few days later, you went upstate to see your family after you had the news that your sister had fallen critically ill. Jeremy couldn’t come with you as his understudy was also off sick. Obviously, you missed him but you still managed to have a good time with your family anyway. The two of you would call everyday and he would tell you all the gossip of the shows and behind the scenes. Everything was going fine, and soon your sister got better. It wasn’t until you got home and saw her in your bed that you found out about the others. “Jay, I’m home! “ There wasn’t a response, so you set your things by the front door and walked towards your shared bedroom. You could hear the sounds of giggles, but you could only hope that it was the sound of the television and not what you thought it was. You open the door slightly, making as little noise as you possibly could, seeing Jeremy in a bear hug with that one showgirl he took a liking to every day. You stood there, speechless, watching the scene you’ve dreaded for years, unable to look away. You stood there for 30 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. The showgirl, Fiona her name was, spotted you in the doorway and pushed Jeremy off her. He seemed confused at first but followed where Fiona’s gaze was, landing on his wife. “Hey…Y/N” “Don’t. You…” You couldn’t finish. You shook your head and stormed out, grabbing your bag and keys before storming down the stairwell of the apartment blocks. It took you a bit longer than usual as your suitcase was heavy, but you managed to get out the door, hearing the faint shouts of Jeremy. As you began walking down the street, calling taxi after taxi, you could hear your name being called. A taxi finally pulled up and you opened the door, shoving your bag in the backseat. “Y/N!” “FORGET IT!” “Y/N! PLEASE!” You got in the cab and told the driver just to drive, you didn’t know where. You looked out the window and saw Jeremy sprint towards the taxi, slowing down as the taxi sped off. “Miss, I need you to tell me where to go, otherwise I’m gonna be a millionaire by midnight” You couldn’t think of where to go, but then it popped into your head. You walked up the stairs, dragging your bag behind you, trying to make the cries silent. You finally arrived at his door, knocking twice, breathing heavily. “Y/N? Woah, hey…” you collapsed into his arms, your sobs becoming loud. “Ben…I…I…” “Hey, come in, sit down” Ben led you towards his sofa, rubbing your back as you sobbed. Ben pulled your bags into the apartment and shut the door, grabbing the tissues by the door and bringing them over to you. “What did he do?” “More like who…” “You’re kidding…” You shook your head, looking up at Ben’s face, his eyes wide with shock. “Holy crap, Y/N…I…holy Jesus” Ben was speechless, sitting back on his sofa in disbelief. He sighed, before taking your hand, “Y/N, I’m so sorry” You shook your head, leaning into Ben’s side as he hugged you tightly. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Can I ask who?” You laughed in a sigh, wiping the tears away from your eyes, “it was one of the showgirls…” “Donna?!” You shook your head slowly, turning to look at Ben. “FIONA?! THAT SLUT!” “Ben…” “NO! I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING! SHE’S BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR-“ “BEN!” Ben immediately soften his expressions, “sorry, Y/N. I just…I KNEW that she…Jesus Y/N. I’m so sorry…I should have warned Jeremy of her” “It was his decision” “She probably swayed him” “And he still fucked her…” “Jesus. Y/N, I’m sorry” “Stop apologising. This isn’t your fault, at all. I don’t know why I didn’t clock it…” Ben just sighed in apology, and placed a hand on your arm. “Do you want to stay the night?” “I don’t want to invade…I can call my parents and I’m sure that-“ “No. I’ve got a spare room, don’t worry. I’ll go sort the room out and you order pizza” Ben placed the pizza menu in front of you, rubbing your thigh reassuringly before taking your bags into the spare room. That night, the two of you ate pizza and played on his Xbox, although you felt slightly wrong. This was what your favourite pastime with Jeremy was, and you couldn’t help but feel upset while playing your favourite game. At around 1 that morning, you retired to bed, saying goodnight to Ben and stealing a final slice of pizza. You had ignored your phone all night, afraid of what might appear, but you checked the home screen before you got into bed.

18 missed calls from Jeremy. 6 missed calls from Andrew. 2 missed calls from Mum.

Over 50 text messages from Jeremy. ~ baby girl, I’m sorry ~ come home and talk to me Y/N ~ she means nothing to me ~ I married you. I love you. ~ I need you. ~ I’m sorry.

You felt the tears fall from your face before the anger took over and you threw your phone across the room. It didn’t smash, which only made you more angry. You punched the pillow, then your suitcase and then kicked your shoe across the room, all while shouting “FUCK” and “SHIT”. Ben carefully came into the room, noticing you in your state and pulling you into tight hug. You tried to resist but eventually gave in, hugging him back. “I know, he’s an asshole. I’ll talk to him tonight Okay?” “Don’t be mean” “I won’t. Please, promise me you’ll get some sleep, ok?” You nodded, unable to form words. Ben helped you into bed, kissing your forehead and turning off the light before leaving you. He sighed, immediately pulling his phone out of his pocket. He shut down the lights and tv in the front room and brought the pizza into the kitchen before ringing Jeremy in his room. “Hello?” “What the hell, Jeremy” “Is she at yours?” “Yeah” “Thank Christ. I was worried about her…” “You don’t have the right to be! Jesus, Jeremy! Why?!” “It was Fiona’s fault! She-” “Oh yeah, of course this isn’t your fault. You cheated on her for fucksake!” “I love her, Ben, I don’t deny that. She’s everything to me. That’s why I married her! I swear, this isn’t my fault!” “Jeremy, she’s the most amazing woman I know. How fucking DARE you treat her like shit. She-“ “She doesn’t deserve me, I know. She’s perfect, amazing” Ben could hear Jeremy crying, and he sighed in defeat. “Have a long, hard think about what the fuck you’ve done. You’ve broken her. She deserves so much fucking better. Asshole.” With that, Ben hung up, feeling pure rage throughout him. Ben changed into his pyjama bottoms and slipped a plain t-shirt on, before climbing into his own bed. He laid in bed for about 10 minutes staring at the ceiling, debating with himself. He finally sighed, and got up, throwing his duvet across the bed. He silently padded across his apartment, before reaching your room. He opened the door silently and looked at your sleeping form. He walked over to the empty side of the bed, sliding in next to you, pulling you towards him. “Ben?” “Yeah. Hi. Sorry, I just…thought you might want some comfort?” You tensed, not wanting to upset him, so you just hummed and remained still. You felt his breath against his neck and you tried to keep your breathing steady. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, you felt his lips against your neck, and then travelling up your jaw, whilst his hands moved from your waist down to your thighs. You couldn’t take this anymore and you sprung out of the bed, your hands out in front of you in defence. “Ben. No! What the fuck?!” “Oh shit. Sorry. Y/N, I’m so sorry…” “So my HUSBAND cheats on me and you decide that’s your cue to just have sex with me?!” “Y/N, I thought-“ “NO! Holy crap! NO!” Ben just looked down, clearly disappointed and guilty with himself. “Get out. Please. I’m going to…go somewhere…” Ben nodded and walked out the room, leaving you to your thoughts. You made the bed and got changed into the clothes you arrived in. You cried all the while, not believing what was happening. You grabbed your bag and phone and exited, noticing Ben sat in the front room with his head in his hands. You walked down the stairs and onto the streets, unsure of where to go now. You pulled it your phone and called Andrew. “Andy?” “Jesus, Y/N! Are you okay?!” “No…I mean. I know Jeremy told you that side of the story…but…I need somewhere to stay tonight. And I know you’re definitely gay…” “Sorry?” “Ben tried to hit on me…” “Crap. Y/N…I’m coming out right now Okay?” “You’re a saint…” You waited outside Ben’s apartment block for a little while, noticing Ben’s living room light switch off around 2 that morning. Andrew arrived not that long after. You arrived at his apartment and he showed you to his room, taking a spare pillow and duvet to the sofa for himself, although you insisted for him not to. “Thanks Andy…” “No problem. I love you” “I love you too” you smiled at him, as he said goodnight to you and left you alone. The next morning, Andrew surprised you with a bacon and scrambled egg bagel for breakfast and a day of binging on Netflix. At around 4 that evening, Andrew came and sat on the sofa with you after answering emails from various agents. “Y/N, I think you should talk to him…” “Which one” Andrew laughed slightly, “your husband…he’s broken too” “He’s the one that cheated on me” “He was drunk. She spiked his drink. Fiona influenced him. He didn’t know what he was doing…” “Really?” Andrew nodded, taking your hand in his, “despite what you may think, Y/N. He married you for a reason. He does love you, I promise. Just call him. I mean…sweetie, you work together. It’s better to get this out the way before tomorrow’s show…” You nodded in agreement, taking your phone from his hands. He left you alone, after giving you a reassuring kiss on the cheek. The phone ringing was killing you, although his voice stabbed the knife further into the wounds. “Y/N?” “Hey…” “Sweetheart, listen to me. She spiked my drink, I was drunk and high and had no clue what the fuck I was doing. I love you so fucking much baby girl” “Jeremy please don’t lie” “I’m not lying honey. Y/N, I married YOU! I married YOU because I love YOU! Fiona means nothing to me. As soon as I came back to reality, I kicked her out of OUR apartment and I tried calling you, then your mum and then Andrew! Sweetheart, I was terrified you’d-“ “I’m heartbroken, Jay…not suicidal” “Babe, please. I love you! I love you more every single day! Honey, I thought we were going to try and have kids?” “So did I…” You heard Jeremy sigh over the phone, clearly in tears, “will you please meet with me?” “Where and when?” “Bandstand. At 7 tonight?” “Yeah…” “I love you so much, Y/N…” “Bye, Jeremy” You met with him, claiming you didn’t want to but you actually didn’t want anything else in the world. It was dark, the river reflecting the street lamps. You saw his figure in the middle of the bandstand, so you walked over to him, clearing your throat when you reached the stairs. “Y/N…” Jeremy sighed in delight, walking to embrace you. You walked towards him, hugging him tighter than you would have liked to. “Sweetheart, I love you so much…” Jeremy stepped back, tears already rolling down his face. You remained strong, although your hands were still in his. “Jeremy, you have to understand that-“ “Sweetheart, she spiked my drink. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing! You have to understand, I love you more than life itself, I wouldn’t cheat on you…” “Promise?” “I promise. I vow. Hell, I’ll sacrifice myself if that’s what it will take for you to believe me! Sweetheart, I would marry you again and again and add that into my vows!” You laughed, looking up to his eyes. “I love you, Y/N Jordan” “I love you too, Jay” He kissed you, pulling you towards him, almost lifting you up. “I love you I love you I love you” Jeremy began tickling you, making you laugh again, “that laugh is music to my ears…” You smiled at him as he pulled you close and began dancing with you, singing through tears. “I have no use for moonlight…or soppy poetry. Love at first sights for suckers, at least it used to be” he began to cry and you pulled him into a hug, as you finished the song. He kissed you once again, stroking the ring on his finger. “Let’s go home, yeah?” You nodded, turning to go home, but you were quickly swept off your feet, being carried by Jeremy like he did after your wedding. The show the following day felt different, as the connection between yourself and Jeremy felt new and more romantic. You had explained how Ben hit on you the previous night, and you didn’t see, but you heard from Tommy that Jeremy had a huge argument with Ben. You avoided him as much as you could, even keeping space on stage without making it obvious to audience members. One thing you did notice was Fiona wasn’t there. After the show ended, the curtains fell and Jeremy pulled you into a tight hug, kissing you softly on your neck. “Jay?” “Mmhm?” He hummed against your neck. “Fiona’s not here…” Jeremy stood back, although he kept his hands in yours. “I got her fired. I explained to Simon and he sacked her…” “Jeremy that’s…that’s her job” “And I nearly lost my wife because of her. I honestly couldn’t care less…” You shrugged and went upstairs to get changed. Jeremy was waiting for you outside afterwards, with a rose in hand. “Your servant awaits, m’lady” “Does the servant bring me ice cream?” “There’s ice cream waiting at home” Jeremy kissed you, taking your hand and walking home with you. Your contracts were soon coming to an end, and Jeremy had been offered role after role in numerous plays, although there was nothing for you. You couldn’t find a suitable show for you, although Jeremy was highly supportive. “Baby, a show will come, I promise” “Sorry, Mr. I’m being offered every part in every show” “Maybe a part will come up with me. Then we can fall in love all over again” Jeremy began making kissing actions towards you, tickling you. “Yeah…maybe” It was the third to last show, and you were getting ready in your dressing room. You got a call from your mum, telling you that your sister’s illness had gotten worse and unfortunately she had passed. You immediately went to Jeremy’s dressing room, not even bothering to knock. You entered, sobbing, “Jay, I-“ You saw Jeremy breaking apart from a kiss with a random girl. She wasn’t in the show. “Y/N…” he began to defend himself, but you just held up your hand. You watched the random girl leave the dressing room, narrowly avoiding you, scared you would kill her. “Fuck. You.” You simply spat at him, taking your rings off your finger. You placed them both on the table nearest the door, shaking your head as you turned to leave. You stopped at the door, turning to face Jeremy. “How many?” “Y/N…” “HOW MANY?!” “4” “Since Fiona or including her?” “Since…” You pursed your lips and tapped your foot on the floor. “She never spiked your drink, did she?” You watched as Jeremy shook his head, refusing to look you in the eyes. You turned around and slammed the door behind you, frozen still outside, trying not to cry loudly. Ben walked past, noticing you crying. He desperately wanted to comfort you, but couldn’t bring himself to go near you. Instead, he got Andrew. “Ands…it’s Y/N…” Andrew sprung from his seat and followed Ben, running to your side. You hugged him as soon as you saw him. He led you to his dressing room. “Y/N…what’s happened?” “5 girls! He’s been with 5 girls…” you sobbed, your hand shaking in Andrew’s. “5? That’s son of a-“ “Andy, don’t…” “That dickhead can…Y/N, I’m so sorry…” “It’s…I don’t know what I expected” Andrew pulled you into a tight hug, “move in with me. I’ll come and help move all your stuff tonight. I’ll ask Tommy to keep Jeremy out…” “Thank you, Andy…” “Do you want to do the show tonight?” You shook your head, explaining how you had to go upstate. “Why?” “My sister died a few hours ago…” “Holy…Y/N, you poor thing…” “Don’t poor thing me right now, I don’t want to be mocked…” “No, Y/N. I’m so sorry for your loss” “Which one” you tried to laugh, but instead it came out as a sob “Both…Sweetie…I’ll go and talk to Simon. He’ll understand” “Thank you, Andy” “You go get dressed, and go start packing your stuff up. Here’s my key. After the show, I’m heading straight to yours and we’ll go to my house. Okay?” You nodded, hugging him tightly. You walked back with him to your dressing room, noticing a note on the desk.

~ Y/n, I’ve asked Fiona to help me pack my things. I’m sorry that this has crumbled. I just don’t feel the same things I used to when we first got together. I know you’re broken but…we’re both hurting from this. I thought that we would stay together for the rest of our lives, but, clearly that’s not the case. I’m not putting any of the blame on you because this is my fault…we’re too young for all of this. It was too soon…I guess. I hate that your contract is ending soon, but I’m also glad that you can get away from this too. It will help you to move on. Goodbye, I guess… Jay x ~

You sat down in sobs, scrunching the note in your fist. You got changed quickly, handing the costume over to your understudy and thanking her. You ran down the stairs and out the door, finding the fresh air incredibly refreshing. You sped walked to the house you shared with Jeremy, not wanting to call it a home. You started packing your things, making the bed and folding up all Jeremy’s things that were on the floor. You couldn’t help but cry, noticing all the pictures of the two of you on your wedding day and all the other days, including a picture of you and Jeremy in the final number of Newsies as Jack and Katherine. You pottered around the house, leaving post it notes around specific parts of the house, instructing Jeremy on what to do when you weren’t going to be around. It was around 10 when Andrew knocked on the door. You opened it, smiling weakly. He helped carry boxes and bags down the stairs and into his car. On the final load, he took a box down and you looked around your apartment for the last time. You sighed, feeling a tear roll down your cheek. You brought your hand up to your neck, feeling the necklace with a J charm on it. Jeremy had bought you the necklace for your first Christmas together, and you had worn it ever since. You took it off and placed it on the kitchen counter, placing the keys next to it. You shut the door with a final sigh and practically ran down the stairs. For your the final night of your contract, you did the show. It was agonising to play Jeremy’s love interest but you avoided him at all costs backstage, Andrew staying close to prevent Jeremy or Ben coming to talk to you. The kisses you had with Jeremy were agonising, and you could feel how tense he was feeling, although for the finale kiss, he held you tightly, as he knew it would be the last one he would ever have with his wife. When the curtains fell, Andrew immediately came to your side as you both heard “Y/N!” from Jeremy. Andrew told you to ignore him and he pulled you close, walking you up to your dressing room. Another note was left on the desk, with a familiar necklace next to it.

~ I’m so sorry about your sister…she was amazing. As are you. Keep this. It’s yours. All my love in the world, Jay x ~

The necklace you left at your old apartment glistened in the light. You put it on, feeling the familiar J charm once again. You left your costume on the hanger for the last time and collected all your leaving presents and cards from the cast and crew and put them into your large bag. You looked around your dressing room and noticed the note. You put it into your bag quickly, and scribbled a welcoming note for the new Katherine. You turned the lights off and walked down the stairs, joining Andrew by the door. The years went on, and you heard about Jeremy’s success in numerous films, tv programs and shows, all whilst you were waitressing in numerous cafes and restaurants. You went to audition after audition, but no result. Even Andrew was given a part in a new show, which was awesome but heart breaking for you. One night, you were playing on the Xbox once again, when Andrew came home with a guy, obviously both drunk. “Y/N! Meet…” “Marvin” he stuck out his hand dramatically, and you shook it. “Need me to leave, Andy?” “Nah, you’re fine. Just…maybe listen to some music through headphones. Loudly” Andrew smirked at the guy behind him, leading him to his bedroom. You laughed, knowing how hungover Andrew would be in the morning. You plugged your headphones into your phone, pressing shuffle on musical playlist created randomly by Spotify. It started on a song from something called The Last Five Years. It was a pretty catchy tune…but…that voice was so familiar. It couldn’t be. You paused the game and pressed on your phone, anticipating to see the artist. And there it was. Jeremy Jordan. He was in a film? A successful one? You couldn’t help but want to watch it. It took you 30 minutes of debating with yourself before you decided to watch it. The scene unfolded with Anna Kendrick, one of your idols. She was such a good singer, but you thought she didn’t really suit straight, blonde hair. The song was about her husband, Jamie, leaving her. With a note. The camera panned around, catching pictures of Anna and him. Jeremy. Jeremy. Your ex husband. In wedding clothes. You ignored it and watched the rest of the film. The next scene, Anna and Jeremy burst in kissing like wild animals, and you couldn’t help but feel jealous. He was yours for 5 years after all. It seemed…familiar. The film continued and so many things that happened to Cathy and Jamie related so similarly to the relationship you had with Jeremy. Until you pinpointed where the film was actually about you and Jeremy. His character proposed, with the same type speech, in the same exact spot, where Jeremy proposed to you. The wedding was in the same spot. The countless gifts of jewellery. The one necklace with a J charm. The unsuccessful auditions. The countless parties. His note. The film ended, and you were in a state, your jaw wide open. Everything that happened in that movie happened to you and Jeremy. Everything. The noise had quietened from Andrew’s room and so you assumed that Andrew and Marvin were both asleep. You let out the loudest sob you could, crying into a nearby pillow. It didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop crying. It had been years, but you realised that horrible thing that no divorced wife wanted to realise. You still loved him. You don’t remember falling asleep, but you woke up that morning with your duvet over you and the sound of frying bacon in the kitchen. You padded through to the next room, spotting Andrew and Marvin talking over coffee. “There’s my princess!” Andrew opened his arms to you and you hugged him. “Sorry about last night, love. Andrew’s been telling me all about you” Marvin held out his hand, “it’s really nice to meet ya” “You too” you shook his hand and got yourself some water. “Andy?” “Yeah?” “Have you spoken to…Jeremy recently?” His eyes went wide at the mention of his name, but he cleared his throat and shook his head, “Why?” “I want you to watch a film. Over breakfast.” Andrew watched the film with Marvin, and you sat in your room, refusing to watch it again. Andrew knocked on your door after it finished, Marvin cleaning up the plates. “Hey, princess” “Hi” He shuffled over to the bed and sat opposite you, crossing his legs like a child. “It’s about you and him…isn’t it?” “That’s what I thought. But it’s all the same…the way Jamie proposed, where they got married, the parties, the girls, the notes…” Andrew noticed the tears in your eyes begin to form and he took your hand, shushing you. “I’m sorry” “Me too” you smiled at him weakly, before he patted your hand and left the room, telling you to get some proper sleep. You obliged to his request, falling asleep to Love Actually and some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. You were sure it was nothing. The following morning, you got up for work at the cafe opposite the apartment at the usual time, after making Andrew some breakfast and waking him up so he could stretch and warm up before the matinee. Your day was fairly normal until you saw your ex boss. “Simon?” “Y/N! Wow! Hey! How are you doing?” “Umm…good I guess, yeah. So what can I get you?” “Just a coffee please. Black, if possible” “Yeah sure. No worries” you turned to walk back to the till, but Simon called you back. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Seriously? You work as a waitress?” “Alright, Si…don’t rub it in” “No seriously. You’re an amazing actress! Why haven’t you been given a part?!” “There aren’t any right shows for me, I suppose. I’ve auditioned for some but I’m not always perfect” “Would you like to go back to acting?” “It’s my dream, Yeah” “Y/N…I’m doing a live recording of Newsies with the original broadway cast…I was going to send out formal letters but I guess I may as well ask you now as you’re here” You stared at him, speechless, “you’re kidding, right?” Simon shook his head and you squealed slightly, going to hug him. “Of course I will! Wow! Yeah, sure! Shall I tell Andrew or shall I wait for the formal letters?” “Oh you may as well tell him…” “Thank you so much Si! Thank you thank you thank you!” “It’s my pleasure” he chuckled, seeing the excitement on your face “Right, coffee!” You practically skipped to get his order and spent the rest of the day anticipating for your shift to end so you could go home and tell Andrew. He didn’t get in until late that night, but as soon as he entered the apartment you were jumping up from the sofa to hug him. “Y/N? What’s up with you?” He chuckled, hugging you back. “I saw Simon today…” “Simon? As in director Simon?” “Mmhmm…” “And…?” “Oh right. Well…he’s doing a live recording of Newsies with the original cast! That’s you and me baby!” “Oh my god that’s amazing!” Andrew hugged you tightly, trying to restrain you from jumping and breaking the floor. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Did you say original cast?” “Yeah…why?” “You know…that means someone else will be in it…” “Who? Ben? Oh it’s fine, I’ll just try and fix things with him” “No…Jeremy?” “Oh…Yeah. Right.” Your demeanour changed drastically from excited to a somewhat tired manner, although you felt defeated. How could you not of thought of this? Andrew watched your excitement fall from your face into sad and uncaring. “Y/N, don’t let him ruin this for you! You’ve had…well, let’s be honest, a dry spell. And this is your break! Again…” “Yeah. Sure” “Y/N…” “No. It’s fine…who wouldn’t want to play the love interest of their cheating ex husband?” “Y/N” “I’ll do it. It’s just gonna be hella awkward” “It will be fine. Just a couple months rehearsing and a few weeks filming. I’ll be there and so will Ben Frankie, Tommy. Simon will understand too….” “Yeah. Thanks Andy” He kissed your temple and you invited him to sit on the sofa and watch the original Disney film together. Rehearsals couldn’t come soon enough. It was amazing to walk back into the studio room and meet with all the old cast, after so many years. You saw Ben Frankie first, practically jumping into his arms when he opened them. “Benny!!!” “Y/N!” “How you doing?!” “Better now I’m with my favourite girl” he smiled, and you playfully smacked him. “Y/N, it’s great you’re here and all but…you gonna be okay?” You nodded, faking a large and over enthusiastic smile. He grinned back, embracing you one more before you greeted the rest of the cast. It was inevitable that you would come back to see Ben Cook. “Hey” you walked up to him, noticing how awkward he felt. “Hi, Y/N. How you been?” “I’m still here, so I suppose I’m alright. Yourself?” “Yeah, good. It’s good to be back…” “Ben?” “Yeah?” “I forgive you. Okay? Jesus we were best friends for years, let’s not let one mistake you made ruin that. Alright?” Ben nodded, a weak apologetic smile forming on your face. He held out his hand, and you shook it playfully before hugging him. “Just, no more mistakes again” “Agreed” he laughed at you, squeezing you tightly once, “you gonna be okay being with Jeremy again?” “It’s work. I’m not gonna talk to him if I can help it” you smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m right by ya” he squeezed your hand before Simon called you all over to the circle of desks for the read through. You sat in between Ben and Andrew, laughing with them as you were handed your script. You could see Jeremy out the corner of your eye. He looked tired, depressed and beaten. You so desperately wanted to go to him but you knew it would be wrong. You both knew this was strictly work and not pleasure, so during the read through, the two of you refused to make eye contact. During the break, you were eating your pasta salad by your bag, scrolling though Facebook and Instagram on your phone. Many fans had heard about the release of the live recording and were bombarding you with good luck messages. You were reading an email from your agent when two feet stood in front of you. You looked up to see Jeremy. You half heartedly smiled at him and continued to scroll through the email. “Y/N-“ “Go away. I’m working” “So am I. I wanna talk to you” “And I want to eat my lunch, carry on with the read through and go home. So if you don’t mind, can you leave me alone?” “Y/N, please. I-“ Andrew walked over, interrupting Jeremy’s pleads, “Jeremy, take a walk. She doesn’t want to talk to you” Jeremy just looked at Andrew and walked back over to his bag, slumping down against the wall and reading through the script over and over. “You alright, princess?” “Yeah. Thanks for saving me” “That’s my job” he plopped down next to you and began digging through your bag, finding the chocolate and breaking a piece off, eating it before you could protest. “That was mine” “I’m your roommate. What’s yours is technically mine” “I’ll remember that next time you tell me off for eating your cereal” “Ah. But cereal is a different matter” “How?!” “Well-“ As if he knew, Simon called the end of the break and summoned everyone back to the desks. You finished the rehearsal and retreated to Andrew, who was talking to Simon about his new additional song. He wanted to sing it through so you got to hear it. It was the most beautiful song in the world. “Y/N, what do you think?” Simon turned to you “Beautiful, Si. Really, really nice” you smiled at him, nodding in agreement. Simon wanted to talk to Andrew privately so you exited the studio, bumping into Jeremy. “Y/N, please can I just talk to you? For 5 minutes? Please?” “Go away” you continued walking down the hallway, trying to get to the stairwell as quickly as possible. “Please! I just want to apologise?” You stopped and turned around to face him, “apologise? APOLOGISE?! JEREMY! You broke my heart into a thousand pieces! You lied to my face! You slept with 5. Other. Girls! Jesus Christ, Jeremy! Is your brain really that fucking small to not think for a second that your ex wife who divorced you for cheating on her is just going to forgive you? You didn’t mean a single word of our wedding vows, and I know you meant every word of our divorce. You’re a fucking joke. I bet you even think I came back for you. I’m just here for Simon. I’m here for the boys. Not for you” Jeremy just stood there, staring at you. His lip was shaking and he tried to form words but you shook your head and left the building, sitting on a step outside waiting for Andrew. You waited for about 15 minutes, thinking about your previous relationship with Jeremy, before Andrew came outside, walking home with you. When you got inside, Andrew called shotgun on the shower first so you retired to your room, changing out of the sweaty clothes and into your robe, waiting your turn for the shower. You were sorting through the laundry when the landline rang. It was odd, as the landline only rang when it was Andrew’s grandmother, but she always emailed first to let him know. You walked over to it, Andrew’s t-shirt in hand, and answered. “Hello?” “Y/N? It’s Jeremy” “Oh my god, now you’re stalking me?!” “No, Y/N, I just really need to talk to you…” “Jeremy, you had your chance. I’ve forgiven you once before, and even then you fucking lied to me! Why do you think ill forgive you now?” “Y/N, I’ve spent the last 5 years in depression from losing the one thing I loved the most. I don’t know what got into me. I loved you and I still do. I know I married you for a reason…” “I know I divorced you for a reason” “Y/N, please just talk it through with me?” “No. Please, stop this. I’m trying to work. Leave me alone” You hung up, not wanting Jeremy to get another word in edge ways. You began to cry into the t-shirt in hand, when Andrew came up behind you, rubbing your arms. “Please wash that again” “Fuck you KB” “I love you too. That was him wasn’t it?” “He’s stalking me, I swear” “He spoke to me on the stairs. I hate him with all my guts, I mean why wouldn’t I? He hurt my girl” “Shut it…” “But anyway, he said he’s never felt more alone and unwanted in his life. He really loves you” “I love him too” “I understand why you’re being like this, I mean I would too if Marvin pulled a trick like this on me…but at least give him a chance?” “I already did” “Every person gets 3 strikes. He’s made 2…let this be his last chance. Who knows? Things may get better” “My life HAS been better. Without him…” “Try it. For me? If you both agree to get on, fantastic. If you don’t? Fine. But at least give it a shot” You contemplated it for a bit, before sighing, “I hate when you’re right” “Indian or Pizza tonight?” “Indian…” “And what film?” “Elf…” “Y/N, it’s the middle of June, you can’t watch a-“ “Elf” “Elf it is then” Andrew chuckled, kissing your temple before going to order the food. The following day, you worked on King of New York with the boys, which was the best day you had in years. The way you all laughed and mucked about, all while doing one of the best songs. It was tiring to do so much tap dancing after so many years, but you felt refreshed after rehearsal. When it ended, Andrew was waiting outside for you and you walked home together. You were halfway down the street when you heard your name. You turned around and saw Jeremy jogging behind you. You groaned and continued walking, but Jeremy grabbed your wrist. “JEREMY! LEAVE ME-“ “You left your phone…” You looked at his hand, which held your phone. You cleared your throat awkwardly, taking your phone from him quickly. You gave him a weak smile, “Thanks…” Jeremy just smiled at you, before walking back towards the studio. You couldn’t quite believe what had happened, and you just turned to look at Andrew, who had a cocky smirk on his face. “Don’t start” “I didn’t say anything!” “Yeah fuck off Andy” “Y/N!” He laughed loudly, plodding alone behind you as you childishly stomped off. Jeremy was typically good at leaving you alone, only talking to you when you were working on a scene together. You admit, it was hugely awkward at first, but as rehearsals continued, you began to share smiles and laughs, feeling more comfortable, although the two of you didn’t talk out of rehearsals. During the last few rehearsals, Simon sent you and Jeremy to practice Something To Believe In, and the kiss…it felt so different. He never did it the way he just did. He grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him with a swift motion. He looked at you for a minute before gently pressing his lips to yours. His other hand ran up your arm and landed on your upper back. You felt your stomach tumble and kissed him back, bringing your arms up from your side up to around his neck. Neither of you attempted to pull away. If anything, you both tried to deepen the kiss even more. Eventually, he stopped, and you rested your forehead on his, panting for your breath again. “Shit” you whispered, laughing slightly. Jeremy laughed with you, bringing his arms to both of your arms, stroking them. “Y/N…I’m sorry” “I know. I’m sorry too” “what do you have to be sorry about? Jesus I put you through hell! What I would do to turn back time and stop myself…” You cleared your throat, pushing away from Jeremy, “maybe we should go over our first song, because I think we’re a bit rusty on the-“ “Y/N…I want to try us again” “What?” “I miss you. So fucking badly…” “Jay-“ “No. Please. I love you so much. I have done since the day I met you, and I have never ever for a singular moment stopped loving you. I would take every fucking mistake back if I could if I knew I wouldn’t lose you. I love you so fucking much…” You sighed in defeat and took Jeremy’s hand, “Jay, I love you too. But this isn’t right” Jeremy kissed your hand, but you pulled it away, “I’m sorry, Jay…” He nodded, smiling at you weakly. As if a miracle happened, Andrew came into the room. “Si wants you two to come in…he’s giving an overview” Jeremy went out quickly, leaving you to plod our behind him. “Alright Princess?” “Mmhm…I just need some ice cream” “I’ve stocked up at home” “I love you” Andrew smiled at you and walked with you to the other room. All the way through the overview, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jeremy. You looked over at him at one point to catch him staring at you. You moved your gaze quickly, smiling at the thought. “Shit…” you mumbled, Andrew catching it. “What?” He whispered. “I’m falling in love…” Andrew just stared at you, anger across his face. “Ice cream. Tissues. Serious conversation.” Andrew whispered harshly, before turning his attention back to Simon. You sighed deeply and slouched back into your chair. Back at home, you felt like you were being interrogated. “Y/N, what the hell?!” “I don’t know…I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know…” “Ice cream. Talk.” You took a spoonful of ice cream, before mumbling to Andrew “he’s him. He’s apologised” “Y/N, he cheated on you” “He was sincere” “Y/N, he’s a cheater” “Hang on, Andy! You’re the one that told me to give him another chance!” Andrew just stared at you blankly, before you pointed at the tub of ice cream, “spoonful” He groaned, taking a spoonful of ice cream, when you both heard the phone ring. “Hello?” Andrew picked up your own phone, fighting you off, “No, she��s in the shower…” “ANDY OFF!” Andrew looked at you, stopping fighting you before handing the phone over to you, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “Hello?” “Y/N, hey. It’s me” “Hey, Jay” “Listen, I was wondering if you were willing to meet with me? Just to talk things over?” You sighed, debating what to do, “Where?” “Bandstand?” “What’s your obsession with that place?” You heard him laugh over the phone, “It means a lot to me. I’ll see you there before rehearsals?” “Sure. See ya” You hung up, flinging your phone across the bed, looking up at Andrew’s shocked face. “I don’t believe you” “You’d hate me if I told you what happened today” “What happened?” You just smirked and left the room, rubbing towards the bathroom like a little kid. “Y/N!!! What happened?!!!” You chuckled behind the door, only leaving when you knew the coast was clear. He was leaning against the wall opposite the door, his arms crossed. “You kissed him didn’t you?” “That’s my job” “For pleasure…didn’t you?” You just nodded at him, smiling cheekily. Andrew groaned and began to tickle you. The next day, you met Jeremy at the bandstand. He was dressed in jeans and a shirt, smart for him to be honest. He held a singular rose in his hand and a small box in the other. “Jay?” “Hey, Y/N…” “What’s all this?” “For you, if you want it?” “Jeremy…” “Y/N, I want nothing more than to make you happy. I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I swear that I will do everything in my power to get us to where we were. I love you with all I have. I’m not asking you to marry me, but I’m asking you if you want to be mine again?” He opened the box, revealing your engagement and wedding ring on a silver chain. “Andrew’s gonna kill me…” “I’m surprised you haven’t killed me” You looked at him, smiling, “Jay, I’ll be yours again. But you gotta work hard to get us back to where we were. We’ll take it slow, okay?” “You’re mine?” “Always have been” you walked up to him and hugged him, hearing his sobs. You shushed him, running your fingers through his hair. He helped you put on the necklace and walked you back to your old apartment. “Jay, it’s a mess!” “I haven’t had you here to help me” “But you’re not incapable” “I’ll walk you home, so you can grab your stuff before rehearsals. I just need to grab my stuff and then I’m set” “I actually don’t want to go home” “Why?” “I’m scared Andrew might kill us” “He’s a petal, he won’t harm either one of us, no matter how angry he is” He walked up to you, kissing your cheek and pulling you in for a hug before walking you home. Andrew was surprisingly supportive, and congratulated both of you before walking with you both to the studio. The rehearsals went on and then filming began, day after day after day. Each day, Jeremy would come over to your apartment with Andrew and take your stuff back to his, until eventually, you were moved back in. Jeremy worked incredibly hard, spending every moment he could with you. He took you out every night and even when you didn’t want to go out, he spent the night with you with a pizza and Xbox, just as it used to be. You truly fell in love with him all over again, and felt like you did before he proposed. The last day of filming was in front of an audience. The thrill of performing in front of an audience again made Jeremy go wild, and he covered your desk with little gifts that reminded you of your marriage with him, excluding the girls. He knocked on your door at the 15 minute call, waiting to walk you down. “Jay, can I ask you something?” “What’s up?” “It’s about that film you did…with Anna Kendrick?” “No, I didn’t get with her” “Jay, not funny…” “Sorry” “Why was it so similar to our relationship?” Jeremy sighed and hesitated slightly, “the director asked me to do it, and I almost turned it down because of our divorce. I went through the story and he loved it. It fit every song perfectly. Didn’t you see it was dedicated to you?” “Was it?” “Mmhm…” “I didn’t watch until the end of the credits…no normal person does” Jeremy laughed and engulfed you in his famous bear hug. “Come on, baby girl. Show time” You smiled at him and walked backstage hand in hand. You fixed your mics and gave each other a final kiss before he went on. You felt so proud in that moment when he was singing, as if he was your husband. He was, truly, even if he wasn’t legally. The show went on and the reaction from the audience was overwhelming. Singing your song again in front of an audience felt amazing and you came off stage nearly in tears. It was coming to the end, and you were singing the final song. As rehearsed, Jeremy pulled you into the final pose. You saw him fiddle with his mic pack before he whispered in your ear. “Marry me? Again?” He stood back, looking at you lovingly. You stood there, trying to catch your breath, unable to form words. Your eyes started welling up and you just nodded, kissing him deeply. The audience went wild and the cast just looked at the two of you as you held on to each other. All the memories of him cheating forgotten. You truly believed he had changed and you had always wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You promised to love him until death, and you would. He promised to support you in everything you did, and you knew he would. He believed in you and you believed in him. You knew this was right. “Yes!”

#jeremy jordan #ben cook #andrew keenan bolger #Newsies #newsies imagine #newsies oneshot #musical #last five years #reader insert #jeremy x reader #ben x reader

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