swarthygenderfluid - Tumblr blog

[swarthygenderfluid]

If this post ever gets 10k notes i will ask someone on a date (thats never gonna happen)

[swarthygenderfluid]

I don't know if he likes me. He acts like he likes me but be told his friends that he has no feelings for me.

[swarthygenderfluid]

Why is it that when I have a crush on someone it's obsessive af. Like girl I start thinking about them 24/7 they occupy my entire headspace. I'm constantly having thoughts about cute moments with them, pretty mental pictures I took of them and fictional scenarios between them and me. This goes on 24/7 no kidding. Help.

[swarthygenderfluid]

The fact that I literally got two books yesterday and then this appeared on my fyp...

[swarthygenderfluid]

TW : su!cide, emotional triggers, s3lf h@rm

A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.

Fuck. When did it get to this

[swarthygenderfluid]

I don't like celebrating my birthday. I just don't like it. Everyone's forcing me to be happy and cheerful and I hate it. I'm expected to dress up and do sh!t. I don't like it. I just don't like it. Besides my periods hit. I hate it. If it's really my day let me spend it how I want to

[swarthygenderfluid]

This.

[swarthygenderfluid]

HOW. FUCKING. TRUE.

"be yourself" thats the worst possible advice you could ever fucking give me i do not have a default personality

[swarthygenderfluid]

Y'all someone tell me how to buy foreign band merch in India. Like I follow Argentinean, Russian, American and British artists. Someone help

[swarthygenderfluid]

TW : mentions of de@th, depression, other

Y'all ever experience apathy? That shit is a result of my depression. I just don't care anymore and I don't know my emotions. My gran died yesterday and I just stood there staring into space because I just don't fucking know how to feel. I hate that I'm apathetic. But u don't exactly want to be empathetic tbh. This is so weird.