#oh lord folks its a bad one

[sgiandubh]

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

This is the second nasty Anon reaching these serene shores, ever since Kissgate started, last Wednesday:

The form of life sending it is now blocked. Not that she hasn't a choice to make several other sock accounts - of which I have been blocking an inordinate amount, these last weeks, by the way. And since she probably will do so, here is my answer:

What else have I got? Evidence of your desperate fear, Pumpkin. I mean, how bad things must look now, for you folks to shamelessly write that C was a 'clearly intoxicated woman'? Is it me, or your stupidity showed itself ready to throw The Goddess Herself under the bus, just in order to save face?

You are so desperate and shaken, that you don't even bother to disguise the particular corner where WHY is the Operative Word of the Day, for lack of any other sort of arguments. This is ALL the Screeching Banshees have to offer you in terms of a debate and it was always both funny and arresting to read. This and endlessly discussing OLD, FUCKING OLD marathon pictures nobody gives a supersonic fuck about, anymore. I thought you berated shippers for doing the same and yet...? Oooh. Oooh. It's not embarrassing if it happens in your corner. Gotcha. #Silly me. Won't happen again.

The same corner where these surreal comments have been posted, by the way:

I have no idea who that woman is, but (based on what she writes above) she is a tragic piece of work. I mean, you eat and drink with people you consider your friends, then you suddenly decide, one fine day, to bullshit them all over the dashboard. Frankly, now: what did you expect? Sunshine, lollipops and roses? Are you for real, even? And now you victimize yourself, surely a mature woman & a community pillar on your own right (your choice of words is very informative), that you are 'unable to read their blogs'? Oh, FFS, such a cheap eyeroll, right there. Just where are we? In a Uni dorm, trading gossip? Sweet Lord on a motorbike, get a grip, lady!

The thought of educated women collectively sharing some beliefs didn't even give her pause. It should have. At this point in time, this is cognitive dissonance, at its finest. Plus hey, weren't we STUPID, STUPID, STUPID? Huh? I find it extraordinary we suddenly aren't, anymore.

Back to you, Anon. I can feel the anger and see those trembling fingers on the screen of your phone. What a nice Freudian slip, right here: '5 years IF legal marriage'. Besides a sheet of paper, root canal smiles and pulse grabbing, what else ya got?

[jackoshadows]

It's already been mentioned that in general Jon Snow is more attracted to personality rather than appearance and if I had to pinpoint to what those specific character traits are I would say that it's an independent nature, being a rule breaker and general proactiveness in getting things done.

Ygritte embodied what Jon loved about the Freefolk - a freedom of sorts from Westerosi biases, societal rules and laws. His journey with the Freefolk changes his long held opinions of them and parallels his love for Ygritte. Ygritte is honest and open about her desires, values her independence and often times it is Ygritte who defends and protects Jon Snow.

And though he does not know or love Val as much as he does Ygritte, it's their similar independent nature and not being beholden to others that he again finds attractive.

All the same, the wildling princess was not beloved of her gaolers. She scorned them all as "kneelers," and had thrice attempted to escape. When one man-at-arms grew careless in her presence she had snatched his dagger from its sheath and stabbed him in the neck. Another inch to the left and he might have died. Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her. Her, and Winterfell, and my lord father's name. - Jon, ADwD

Val stood on the platform as still as if she had been carved of salt. She will not weep nor look away. Jon wondered what Ygritte would have done in her place. The women are the strong ones. - Jon, ADwD

And when she wants to help by bringing Tormund's faction to the Wall, Jon lets her, trusting in her capability to go beyond the Wall alone, on a half blind horse, with no protection.

“My lady, you do not have to do this. The risk—” “—is mine, Lord Snow. And I am no southron lady but a woman of the free folk. I know the forest better than all your black-cloaked rangers. It holds no ghosts for me.” I hope not. Jon was counting on that, trusting that Val could succeed where Black Jack Bulwer and his companions had failed. She need fear no harm from the free folk, he hoped … but both of them knew too well that wildlings were not the only ones waiting in the woods. - Jon, ADwD

Or when she partners with Jon to help him with Selyse Baratheon - a Westerosi Queen that he is wholly unimpressed with and wants gone from the Wall as soon as possible.

“Let me help.” “You have. You brought me Tormund.” “I can do more.” Why not? thought Jon. They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her. - Jon, ADwD

And then there is Alys Karstark and the flirty vibes between Jon and her. There is certainly admiration there for Alys on Jon's behalf. Alys who gets on a horse in the harshest of winter, nearly dying trying to reach the Wall and yet doing so in the belief that the son of Ned Stark will help her. Alys who probably grew up hearing stories and songs of the evil Wildlings who rape and pillage and yet agrees to marry one to protect her own inheritance and rightful claim to house Karstark.

Jon turned to Alys Karstark. “My lady. Are you ready?” “Yes. Oh, yes.” “You’re not scared?” The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. “Let him be scared of me.”The snowflakes were melting on her cheeks, but her hair was wrapped in a swirl of lace that Satin had found somewhere, and the snow had begun to collect there, giving her a frosty crown. Her cheeks were flushed and red, and her eyes sparkled. “Winter’s lady.” Jon squeezed her hand. - Jon, ADwD

We as readers and characters like Jon Snow understand that the Freefolk are just like the other denizens of Westeros - good and bad - and yet there's just so much bigotry against them, especially in the North. So Alys - who has never even met one of the Freefolk - entering into a marriage alliance with the Magnar of Thenns is indeed momentous and extremely brave. It has similarities to Dany's marriage with Hizdahr to sue for peace for her people, to bring about an end to the insurgency by the slavers.

So while Jon can be protective towards the characters he cares about - Arya, Sam, Satin - he also really loves that independent streak in the girls he is attracted towards.

Which is why I am really excited for Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen meeting in the books. Even though they have not met yet, I can just sense that palpable chemistry between these two characters based on their personalities. Close in age and maturity, these are two young leaders with a can do attitude, keenly interested in reform and rebuilding a new world. And yeah, Daenerys is really beautiful and yet IMO Jon Snow is going to fall for her personality, regardless of her appearance and not because of it.

And I think that's key considering GRRM's themes of beauty being skin deep and what's important is who we are and not how good looking we are. And despite Jon and Dany not meeting yet, he's laid the groundwork for them getting along like a house of 🔥

[hectorthedoggo]

Mahiru decides it’s her turn to do the parenting of es (inno verdict au)

THIS IS SO BAD OH MY GOd but if you guys wanna read it i suppose food is food. i am going on hiatus after this one (if all goes well) (I do have ~1.8k of next fugue chapter done but... i don't like it...)

-

start of character study fic that i never finished

When Mahiru was young, she had once found a baby bird in her yard. It had fallen from the nest, and it seemingly had nowhere to go.

It begged, yelled, for anyone to help it. Mahiru had excitedly taken it in, cradling it as gently as possible, finding all sorts of books in the library on how to take care of a baby bird.

As she had grown closer to it, in taking care of it, watching it grow, a new sense of pride came in. And, a new feeling, she would come to know, as posessiveness.

She didn’t hang out with her friends, instead opting to watch it hop around in her little homemade nest.

Eventually, her parents caught on, and explained to her, with slight horror, that she had done something bad.

But, they never explained what about it was bad. They didn’t let her outside often, after that incident.

But, she never learned from the incident.

It always stuck in her head, as she pined through reading romance, of the idea of one true love, one to fawn over until they both died, a love that lasted through trials and tribulations.

As the world threw more and more issues and expectations at her, she decided to latch onto that idea. Just as she had found that bird in her backyard, she believed it was fate.

-

The next time she had met the bird from her childhood was with Ren. He was crying on the school rooftop, and Mahiru took one look at him.

She knew.

So, she softly introduced herself, asking him what was wrong.

The rest was history.

-

He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

The one she thought would stay with her, forever, gone.

And it might’ve been just because of her.

Yapping yapping

Milgram used to be empty. There used to be nothing, a sense of doubt. The INNOCENT verdict changed everything.

She realized how true her love was. How perfect it was.

Post highlighting ideas

Okay guys so you have heard of overly-paternal Shidou. Now get ready for: overly-maternal Mahiru. (maybe in a fic). I just wanna explain my reasoning for believing in this so that it doesn’t seem sudden IF she gets like this.

Mahiru and Shidou are foils for a reason.

She’s in love with ‘love’, which can be interpreted as a lot. It could be interpreted as romantic, yes, but also platonic.

Yes, her guilty verdict didn’t do good, but imagine what an INNOCENT verdict would do. She would assume her idea of love is correct (it isn’t). (even with the guilty verdict, she kept kinda believing in love. *shivers*)

And, drawing from the bf was already suicidal mentality, that’s a sort of “i can fix him” mentality she took there. Like, finding an injured baby bird, and taking care of it to feel better about herself, despite accidentally ruining its future.

It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic in nature or not; she’s in love with the idea of taking care of sometihng.

That mentality would get WORSE. Because, I’m assuming she used love as a coping mechanism; which, would be expemplified in a stressful environment such as milgram.

I think they all need fixing, but guess who is ALONE. Guess who is young, pathetic, and not coping well with an environment they were forced into.

Guess who’s the equivilant of an injured baby bird. That’s right folks: Es Milgram.

I think it would start with minor things, like checking in with them.

And, they would want the comfort, they would crave it, but insist otherwise. She would figure out their craving, and OH GOOD LORD.

Someone’s not getting their complaints listened to (they don’t know better they don’t know true love_

She would fall deeper and deeper into her mentality of ‘they need my help, it’s so domestic’ ‘i’m useful this way’ ‘this is almost like my purpose’

I actually know someone who’s kinda like this (less intense ofc), but with dogs and children and says it’s kinda like this. So. i have some backing for this mentality.

She would enjoy taking care of them, too much. She would sing them to sleep, she would bring their meals, encourage them to rest, basically be an impromptu mother. (fluff except es is slowly watching their sense of agency and therefore get taken away from them)

But, she would also get a little exhausting to be around, to keep up with. They’re constantly getting their sense of authority undermined, but they’ve also become a little addicted to love

And that’s fitting perfectly into the gender roles she loves, too. She’s def vibing.

Eventually, it would get to be too much, and they would start locking their door unless they have a moment of weakness and open the door for her.

Which, would increase her relentless knocking. Mahiru’s known to be relentless in terms of her love (breakup ritual and shi)

I think eventually, they would give up, and simply let her in, asking her to leave them alone.

T2 she would get a guilty verdict because audience can’t deal with her.

And i think that would make her WORSE, like accidentally guilt-tripping them to why she got a guilty verdict; 

Es would have an emotional attachment to her (accident), and that would make things worse for them. Bc. guilty verdict

idk tho i’ll probably just gonna write some comfort scenes from this au. It would probably be called ‘nestling’ or smth like that :D es would get comfort but at what cost (sickfic cauesd by trying to stay away from Mahiru)

Adding on about traditional family roles; shidou could potentially also participate in this madness. He could end up being the mediator, like the “i agree but maybe leave this kid alone”

Meanwhile, this whole time, Es is trying to hold onto their sense of identity, they hate being ‘babied’. dumpsterfire

es just wants to be warden please stop adding them to the “new (unhealthy) family 💛🩶🩵” gc

#excuse to write a platonic yandere fic #because i really really wanna do that for like a period of 30 minutes then look back on it like tf why would i write thsi #would i be forgiven if i wrote a fic like that vote now on your phones # but would you guys gen wanna see this

Es weakly coughed, curling up on their bed, trying to ignore everything. Their eyes and nose leaaked, and they were utterly pathetic and fatigued.

There was a knock on their door. “Es? Es, can I come in? Sorry, you’re really worrying me…”

Please. Please, god, just leave me alone.

“Mahiru- please… go away…” Their voice was parched; they hadn’t wanted to go out and get water. Holing myself up seemed like the best solution, but…

“Es? Oh no, sweetie, you really don’t sound good. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Please leave me alone. “Go…”

The rapid knocking resumed. “Es, c’mon. Let me in… I’ll make you your favorite~!”

I’ve never had a favorite. I just needed the food.

Their head shot through with pain, and they let out a little whimper.

She gasped. “Oh no! You’re sick!” No shit, Sherlock. “C’mon, Es, you’re going to have to let me in… sickness can be very bad, if left alone like this! Y’know, just having someone with you can increase healing!”

I bet she read that in a magazine. She is right, though. I do need food, I do need to drink, I definitely need sleep.

I just… can’t. Not with her around. I was just trying to cut her off, to get her away from me. Why isn’t she going? It’s been 2 days, she’s literally slept outside of my room.

“Es?”

This feels like a horror movie. Please.

Another knock.

Something in them broke. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t die here, so I have to be dependent. Honestly, though…

They used the last bits of their strength to open the door, to let her in.

She looked like she had been crying, but immediately scooped their weak self up into her arms. I hate this. Please, let me go.

They didn’t have the voice to say that. It wasn’t as if she’d listen. She ran her hand through their hatless hair. “Wah! Es, I’ll just have to wash this. But I’ll have to feed you, first.”

Get away from me. I could’ve done that myself, it’s just… they shivered. I’m scared of her.

Hey, at least I understand her boyfriend a little more, a beaten up optimism pointed out. My opinion doesn’t matter. With that MV, I’m pretty sure she’s going to get guilty.

It doesn’t matter my opinion on the matter. It would be biased.

She kept cradling them, forgetting about their other basic needs, before they coughed. “Ah right! I’m so scatterbrained. Here, Es. I’ll lay you down, and bring the food to you. I’ll be right back with water, then I’m going to prepare the food!”

They didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know what to think.

She hummed, a stark contrast to the earlier desperation in her voice, as she moved them towards their bed, gently tucking them in.

“Alright, Es. I’ll be right back, don’t you worry!”

As soon as she left, they allowed themself some tears. I really don’t like this. This isn’t who I am. I can’t be doted on like this, I need to be working.

She won’t let me get a word in. I’m not sure what to think around her.

a/n: TOP FIVE ways to let a teen KNOW you LOVE them!!

Check in on them during their every waking hour

This is a sure sign that you love them. Really makes them feel seen!

(if they lock their door (totally by accident)) sleep outside their room for days on end :D

A great way to demonstrate care, and loyalty! Persistence is key!!

Make them lose their sense of identity

Don’t worry, they didn’t need it anyways! They don’t need to be warden!! That’s not important to you, and it shouldn’t continue.

Care for them when they get sick (totally not because they were trying to avoid interactions with you)

Teehee what are you talking about? It must be some outer source of stress!

It’s really fun when they’re dependent!! Cherish that!!

Don’t let them discourage you!

It only matters that you enjoy this love. They might be a little unreceptive, but they’ll warm up to you! It might just take a bit!

^ Make sure to repeat the first 4 steps to assure them you’re not leaving, no matter how hard they try!! They’re just misguided, dw!! :)

[cyliegvf]

Wine Drunk (josh x f!reader)

Summary: Your first night at home with Josh during his break from tour

Warning: 18+ MINORS DNI!! mentions of alcohol consumption, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), cockwarming (slightly)

Please let me know if I've gotten anything!

Word count: 4.9k

Disclaimer: this was started before we found out about poor Joshua's ear :( but I wanted to still post it anyway! ALSO this is VERY lightly proof read so please be aware that there could be some very bad misspelling and grammar!

It really came at the perfect time. The weather in Nashville had finally started to change into the crisp cool autumn that you loved so much. And today was a rainy one which you loved even more. The last few days before Josh’s break you kept imagining the two of you lounging on the couch all day snuggled up in your favorite blankets and tangled limbs as you rewatched all of your favorite films.

It was rare that the boys would have a significant break during tour. But luckily this time around management was able to score a ten day break for them during the month of October. Josh and the boys had been on the road for what seemed like forever and with the practically nonexistent time you had off work, it made it really hard to just get up and fly to God knows what city to see a show. So needless to say, you were really happy that they had this break. They needed it just as much as you did. 

Now you were sitting at the kitchen island sipping your chai counting down the hours until Josh was supposed to be home while staring at the computer screen that showed you a minute-to-minute update on Josh’s flight. “Oh come on” you whispered to yourself once you realized how silly you felt doing this. You got up from the barstool to put your now empty mug in the sink and headed to your room to take a shower and get ready for the day. 

Stepping into the scalding hot water you giggled to yourself. The thought of how Josh would always complain about the temperature like an old man whenever the two of you would shower together ran through your mind. You practically jumped out of your skin when Josh’s bottle of body wash fell onto the tile floor of the shower. You bent down to pick it up but before putting it back in its spot on the shelf you squeezed some onto your loofah. The smell overtook your senses as you started rubbing it across your skin. This was a thing you did often when he was gone. The smell made you feel the slightest bit closer to him and made your bed sheets smell like him again. It almost made you sad for a moment before you remembered that he’d be home in your arms by dinner time. Your mind filled with the thought of being able to run your fingers through his hair, and see his beautiful brown eyes that sparkled when he’d smile. And that smile, good lord did you miss that smile. The way his perfectly plump and pink lips would spread just enough so you could see the slight gap between his two front teeth and the single dimple that graced his left cheek. 

“I believe that's my soap, little missy.” Your head whipped around faster than lightning to see the short giggly man with a mop of curls leaning against the doorframe of your bathroom smiling at you. 

“Oh my god!” you screamed as you flung open the glass shower door and charged full force into Josh’s chest causing a small grunt to fall from his mouth. With soap suds still covering your body, Josh wrapped his arms around your waist capturing you in a loving embrace.

“Happy to see me, I presume?”

“What are you doing home so early? I mean I-I’m not complaining but-”

“I got an earlier flight. I wanted to get home to my girl.” he said grinning down at you. You couldn’t help the smile strewn across your face while finally being able to look Josh right in the face, not a silly phone or computer screen. 

He leaned down and whispered in your ear “You’re getting the floor all wet…”

“Oh shit. You’re right. I-I’m sorry I just got excited.” you say looking down at the puddle of water and soap around your feet. Glancing up at Josh you smile “Will you join me?” you ask as you make your way back into the stream on hot water. 

“I’d love to.” he sighs “I need to get all the airport off me.” Josh strips off his clothes and you turn your head to the feeling of a cool rush of air on your back when he opens the door to the shower. With tired eyes and a dopey smile, he walks up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his head on your shoulder. “Hot as ever.” he jokes.

“Who me or the water?”

“Mmm. Yes.” Josh presses a sweet kiss to your temple before pulling away and grabbing your shampoo off the shelf. “Can I wash your hair?”

“Mmm, please. I would love that.” you smile back at Josh seeing him in all his glory. His hair is longer now, save for the shaved sides that he recently decided to bring back, and a few curls have started to stick to his forehead due to the humidity in the shower. You keep looking at him as he squeezes some of your shampoo into his hand and you can’t help but notice how his arms, stomach, and legs seemed to be a little more toned since you’d last seen him. 

“You’re staring.” he says, not even looking up at you as he rubs his hands together to get your shampoo all sudsy.

“No baby, I’m gawking.” He lets out a small laugh at your response. “You just look so good. I’ve missed looking at you.” 

“I could say the same, darling.” He winks. “Turn around for me mama.”

Feeling Josh’s hands on you again made you feel complete. Being apart from him for so long while he and the boys were out on tour was hard. Especially after you’d spent so much time together when the pandemic was in full swing and touring was not. It was a hard adjustment for everyone, not only you. Granted you had Jita to talk to and you knew she understood exactly what you were going through but it wasn’t the same without him in your bed every night. 

The two of you stayed in the shower for as long as possible before turning into prunes. Taking turns under the water to rinse off soap from your bodies and hair and sharing intimate kisses and looks. You were happy to be with him and simply feel his presence again, everything in the world felt right. 

By the time you and Josh got out of the shower and were dressed and ready for the day, it was lunchtime. You both made your way downstairs to get something ready to eat. When pulling the things for sandwiches from the fridge you heard the familiar crackle of the needle of your record player begin to play ‘Call Me’ by Aretha Franklin. Moments later you feel Josh’s hands snake around your waist before he whispers in your ear “Dance with me, mama.” You turn in his arms and he grabs your left hand in his right and pulls you away from the counter before placing his left hand on the small of your back, pressing you into him. 

You could stay like that forever. Your head tucked into Josh’s chest, inhaling his signature sent with every breath, instantly calming you. You eventually pull your head from his chest to look him in the eyes but catch a glimpse of his bags still sitting by the door.

“We need to unpack your bags.” you say causing Josh to look at you with furrowed brows.

“S’odd thing to be thinking about right now.” 

“I know, but seeing them sitting by the door makes me think you’re leaving again. And that's the last thing I want right now.”

“Oh, baby.” Josh frowns, bringing his hand to your jaw and rubbing his thumb across your cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.” he places a tender kiss between your eyebrows causing you to melt right back into his chest and hold him tighter. 

“Good.” is all you say before the song fades out and into the next. “You hungry?”

“Mmmm, famished.” 

You pull away “Well there isn’t much since a certain someone disrupted my plans for the day and I didn’t get the chance to go out and get things for dinner.” you say jokingly “So sandwiches will have to do for lunch, but what do you want to do for later? We could order in but I really wanted to make you a home-cooked meal tonight.”

“I could run out and get whatever you needed for dinner.” Josh offers.

“Mmm that would be perfect.” you say standing on your tippy toes to peck a quick kiss on his perfectly pink lips. “I’ll give you the list. Thank you, baby.”

“Anything for you, lover.” He lays a light smack to your ass before exiting the kitchen to go grab and unpack his bags.

---

After a wonderful dinner and hearing lots of Josh’s tale of the road. You both decided to have a movie night.

Sitting on the couch with your lover in an old t-shirt and some pajama shorts and Josh in his sweats and shirt, you played with his hair as he laid his head in your lap. With a big bowl of popcorn, your two wine glasses, and your second empty bottle of wine on the coffee table you couldn’t think of a time within the past few months that you had felt this happy and content. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, mama?” You didn’t even realize Josh had been staring at you from his spot below you. You glance down at him and see the hazy smile strewn across his face. 

You giggle. “I sound like a broken record but I’m just really fucking happy you’re home.”

Josh reaches up and runs his fingers over your already blushing cheek. “Mmm me too, baby.” His fingers continue to trail down your neck making you snort a laugh and start to giggle. “You’re drunk aren’t you?” he says looking up at you with a giddy smile.

“M-maybe a little.” you say through little laughs. Wine was something that always made you a little giddy, but after sharing two full bottles with Josh you were definitely starting to feel its effects. 

You slowly calm down and notice Josh staring at you again. His eyes were droopy but you could clearly tell something was running through his mind. Suddenly you stop all movements as if you were a statue in a museum. “What?” you say with wide eyes.

“You’re just so beautiful.” Josh sits up and places a slow loving kiss on your lips. He pulls away, but only the slightest bit. You can still feel his breath fanning across your lips. “Mmm you taste good.” he breathes out.

Suddenly, you feel the mood in the room shift and grow completely still. The tension between you two is so thick that it feels as though it's hard to breathe. You meet Josh’s eyes and brush your nose against his in a playful manner to break the tension before whispering “Make out with me Kiszka.” across his lips.

“Mmm gladly.” He gently grabs your face and connects your lips once again. This time with more passion. You brush your hand over the shaved side of his head before bringing it to the curls at the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss even further. You slightly tug at the roots forcing Josh to release a barely there grunt, making you smile against his lips. “Stop that.” you hear him murmur against you. 

“What? I thought you liked a little tugging.” you joke. 

“Oh I do.” he responds before grabbing your bottom lip with his teeth and releasing it with a pop. You throw your head back in laughter before collecting yourself and reconnecting your lips. Josh’s tongue swipes over your bottom lip and you hum as you let him in. He grazes the roof of your mouth before pulling away from you abruptly. You catch his eyes, you’re both already breathing heavily and without a word or breaking eye contact, he leans back and ushers you to straddle his lap. 

Once you’ve situated yourself on Josh all decorum, in every sense of the word, is thrown out the window. Teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance, and hands tangled in each other's hair while soft breathy moans are falling from the both of you. Josh starts trailing kisses from your lips to your cheek, across your jaw, and down your neck before finding the spot behind your ear that he knows will cause you to fall into pieces. A moan louder than you expected falls from your mouth actually causing you to jump a little and a small “oop” falls from your mouth. You hear Josh chuckle and feel him smile against your neck before he continues down to the loose hem of your shirt.

“J-Josh, baby.” you sigh out trying to get his attention. 

Nothing.

“Josh.” you tug at his hair to try and get him to look at you. 

A short “mmm” is the only response you get as he continues to leave open-mouthed kisses along the expanse of your neck.

“Joshua.” you grab the sides of his head to pull him away from you so you can look him in the eyes.

“W-what?!” He looks startled. You didn’t mean to scare him, but the look on his face made a giggle bubble in your chest and you held it back as best you could. 

You stare at him for a moment before smiling and saying “Take me to bed, baby. Please.” Josh springs into action. Wrapping his hands around your thighs before launching off the couch with a big grunt. 

“Okay, grandpa.” you laugh into his neck.

“Hey now. Cut me some slack, I’ve really been working that tambourine lately.” A huge belly laugh springs from you and Josh trudges forward, up the stairs, and into the master bedroom of your home. 

You feel the soft comforter of your bed hit the back of your legs as Josh lays you down. Before Josh has the chance to fully make his way on top of you, you grab the bottom of his shirt and tug lightly. He looks down at your hand, “Oh you want this off?” he smirks back up at you. All you do is nod shyly. “Come on mama. Don’t get shy on me now.” He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” you grab his face and place a long, sloppy, wet lick up the right side before pulling back and laughing “Take this off. Now!” 

Josh sits back on his knees and yanks his shirt over his head before reaching for the bottom of your shirt. He looks at you with a grin on his face. All you do is nod and in a split second your shirt is over your head and is being thrown to the other side of the room. Josh leans back down and starts kissing down your chest to the swell of your now-exposed breasts. He takes your right nipple in his mouth and pinches the other between his forefinger and thumb. Moans of his name are falling from your lips like a fountain, encouraging him to keep going. He continues his effort until your nipples are on the edge of being overstimulated before he starts kissing down your stomach. Josh glances up at you, not stopping his kisses when he feels your stomach start to vibrate against his lips. “What's so funny?” You can tell by the uptick in his voice that Josh is laughing along with you.

“Y-your mustache, it tickles.”

“I thought you’d be used to it by now.” he smiles up at you.

“I-I know, it’s just- it's been so long since we’ve done this.” And it had. Sure you and Josh had phone sex on the regular when he was away, but without him being there you’d momentarily lost the sensorial familiarity of his facial hair and lips on your body.

“I know, mamas. But don’t you fret, we’ll definitely be making up for lost time these next few days.” He winks at you before bringing his lips to the waistband of your panties and kissing down over your still clothed clit. He glances up to ensure he has your undivided attention before grabbing your panties and shimmying them down your legs. 

He starts rubbing up your legs with the palms of his hands and planting open mouthed kiss from your ankle to your calves and finally landing at the tops of your thighs. You’re practically squirming under his touch, squeezing your legs together to dull the burning ache in your core. Softs moans are leaving your lips when you feel Josh pull your knees apart and start to kiss along the inside of your thighs, higher and higher but not reaching the stop where you need him most. You whisper out his name, getting him to look up at you. 

“What baby? What do you want?” He’s smiling at you. He knows exactly what you want but he wants you to say it. 

“Stop teasing me you little shit.” It comes out much more breathy than you had hoped. Completely giving away how much Josh was really affecting you right now. 

“Come on, mamas. Be sweet to me so I can be sweet to you.” Josh whispers against the inside of your thigh before coming up and sucking a dark hickey onto your hip bone. 

“Your mouth! God, Joshua, I want your mouth!” All regard for keeping yourself controlled is thrown out the window. 

Josh releases a small giggle. “Good girl.” Before you can even register the fact that he’s responded to you Josh is diving into you. The flat of his tongue swipes from your dripping hole to your clit in a slow, languid motion. A choked moan rips through the room when Josh wraps his lips around your bud and sucks it into his mouth. Your hand is pulling his hair at the crown of his head forcing a grunt from his mouth. 

While Josh was gone, you practically dreamt of this every night. He always knew how to bring you right to the edge and make your body buzz with only a single touch. But having him here now was otherworldly. Josh knew your body better than you did. Sometimes even, he’d randomly point out little beauty marks and scars on your skin that you didn’t even know existed, and it amazed you every single time that he paid that close attention. 

Your attention was drawn back to Josh when you noticed how he was not so subtly grinding his hips into the mattress. You smiled to yourself. The idea of Josh being just as needy as you right now for some reason made you feel giddy. “A little impatient are we?” You joked through bated breath.

He looked up at you and saw the devilish grin spread across your face. “Shut up.” he huffed out through a laugh. He flashed you the most gorgeous smile before he plunged his middle and ring finger into your dripping cunt. One of the most pornographic moans ripped through your body as you felt Josh start pumping his fingers in and out of you at an ungodly pace. You could barely hear the small chuckle Josh let out over the sounds of his fingers being coated in your slick and your heavy breaths and moans. “Fuck- Y/N you’re fucking soaking my fingers, baby.” Josh moaned out before he placed kitten licks against your clit. 

“Harder.”

“Mmm greedy little thing aren't you?” 

“Josh please, stop teasing.” you begged. Josh quickly got back to work, attaching his mouth to your clit and devouring you like he hadn’t had a meal in months. In seconds Josh was taking over your senses and you could feel the pressure in your stomach reach its highest peak. “J-Josh.” you moan out. “I’m so f-fucking close!” 

“I know, baby. Let go for me. Show me how much you really missed me.”

“Oh fuck! So much.” 

Seconds later you felt the rubber band in your stomach snap and the wave of pleasure crash over you. Your eyes clamp shut in pleasure and moans of Josh’s name and incoherent babble falls from your lips as your orgasm fills your senses. Your vision flashes white and the only sounds you can hear are the faint whimpers Josh is making. 

Slowly Josh ushers you back down to earth as your orgasm subsides and gently pulls his fingers from you. When you finally have the strength to open your eyes you’re met with Josh’s beautiful face smiling up at you. “That was a good one, wasn’t it?” He starts climbing up your body and gently places his fingers on your bottom lip. “Open.” he commands softly, and you oblige. He slowly pushes his fingers into your mouth and you wrap your tongue around them, tasting yourself. 

As Josh starts to pull his fingers from your mouth a giggle falls from your lips. He traces down your jaw and neck with his digits before smiling down at you and asking “You having fun, mama?” You just smile up at him and nod your head before pulling him down on top of you and littering his face and neck with open mouthed kisses. 

Suddenly, the thought pops into your brain. You pull away from Josh and look him in the eyes. “I can leave as many hickeys as I want!” you practically scream in his face out of pure excitement, squirming around just like a kid on Christmas morning. 

Throwing his head back in laughter, Josh looks down at you and through a chuckle, he says “Y-yeah. I suppose you can now with this long break.” 

You’re not quite sure how, it must have been all the excitement coursing through your veins, but you flip the two of you over so that you’re now straddling Josh’s hips. Your lips are on him in an instant, leaving dark purple marks all over his neck and chest. Slowly, you make it down to the patch of hair just below his navel and glance up at him. His cheeks are flushed, eyes blown out with lust, and lips so pick and plum it almost looks like they might explode off of his gorgeous face. You drag your hand over his jeans where you can clearly see how hard he already is before reaching up and popping the button and unzipping his zipper. Making eye contact with Josh, you smile and bite your lip as you pull his jeans and boxers down and off his legs. 

His cock springs free and rests hard and leaking on his abdomen. Crawling back over him after throwing his pants across the room you stop with your face inches from his throbbing cock. The whimpers falling from Josh’s lips make it even harder for you to control yourself. 

Looking up at him, you slowly drag your flattened tongue from his balls to the very tip of his cock before wrapping your lips around his head. Just the taste of him alone makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock and start to bob your head up and down slowly. Moans of your name are the only thing coming from Josh’s mouth when you decide to bring your other hand to cup his balls. 

He throws his head back and through a breathy laugh Josh says “God I missed you so fucking much.” You hum around him before drastically changing your pace. Lewd sounds of your mouth around Josh and his moans are bouncing off the walls of your bedroom. Pleasing him was one of the few things that brought you this much joy. Being able to see him falling apart for you, because of you was something that you’d never give up. 

Relaxing your throat as much as possible, you take Josh even further. A choked moan rips through Josh’s chest and his hips buck, forcing him even further down your throat. You try not to gag as you hold yourself down on him, so much so that your nose is brushing against the patch of hair at the base of his cock. You feel him twitch in your mouth before you pull off of him with a sloppy pop. 

Josh sees the string of drool that runs from your bottom lip to the tip of his cock and smiles. Wiping it away with the back of your hand and sitting back on your knees, you pause for a moment, taking him in. His body is already glistening with the thinnest layer of sweat, the way his chest is moving up and down as he tries to fill his lungs with as much air as possible, and the slight twinkle in his now fully dilated eyes.

Josh quickly notices how you’re squeezing your legs together to dull the burning ache in your core and he lets out a breathy chuckle. “You’re so good to me.” 

“Just fuck me already Kiszka.” you say with a smile as you climb back on top of him.

“Yes ma’am.” he responds before flipping you over and situating himself between your legs. 

Josh takes himself in his hand before running the head of his cock through your folds. Positioning himself at your entrance before slowly pushing in all the way to the hilt. Moans fall from both of your lips and Josh runs his hands up and down your thighs, giving you time to adjust to him again. 

After being away from him for so long and missing him in this way you’ve become too needy to wait any longer so to signal that you’re ready for him to start moving you clench your pussy around him. A small whimper comes out of him and you smile to yourself before doing it again. Josh abruptly wraps his arms under your knees so that your hips are lifted off the bed before he starts his brutal pace. A yelp flies from your mouth as your head tips back in pleasure. It almost feels foreign to you. Josh is hitting spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed. An opened mouth smile is strewn across your face as Josh continues to repeatedly hit your g-spot. “That feel good, baby?” He asks through bated breath, and the cockiest smile you think you’ve ever seen that man wear. 

“Fuck, y-yes! Josh, baby you m-make me feel so f-fucking good!” Your words are being thrown off by how hard Josh is fucking into you, practically fucking you stupid. 

Unsurprisingly, the familiar feeling of your impending orgasm has already started to form in the pit of your stomach, and Josh can tell. 

“Shit- you’re squeezing me so fucking tight, mama.” he says through gritted teeth “Please cum for me. I won’t be able to last much longer, please.” Before you have the chance to respond Josh is dropping one of your legs to start rubbing tight, fast circles on your clit, doing everything he can to get you off. 

“Oh, fuck!” you scream out as you feel yourself start to gush around Josh, no doubt drenching the sheets beneath you. 

“Fuck! That's it. Good girl. Cum around my cock, just like that. Such a good fucking girl Y/N. So pretty for me.” You knew Josh right there with you, he always tended to ramble when he was about to orgasm. You felt Josh start to lose his rhythm and with a few more thrusts you could feel his warm, sticky cum fill you to the brim. 

Slowly bringing the both of you down, he let go of your other knee and leaned down on top of you. Grabbing your face in his hands he kissed you hard, only slightly pulling back to smile against your lips before placing a light peck to the tip of your nose. 

“Mmm, we should get wine drunk and do that more often.” he whispered.

You giggled. “Sounds like a plan. How does tomorrow night sound?” 

Josh smiles and places the softest kiss to your lips before he slowly starts to pull out. Before he gets the chance to make it too far you grab his hip. 

“No, stay.” you look at him with the biggest doe eyes you could muster. “Please.”

Josh grins at you before silently ushering you to lay on your side so you’re face-to-face and pulling a blanket over the two of you. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you on the forehead before taking a big whiff of your hair.

“I’m so glad I’m home with you Y/N. I love you so much, baby.” he says after a few moments of silence. 

“I love you. And I’m glad you’re home as well.” You say with a smile. “This means I can start using my own body wash again and people can stop asking me why I smell like a man.” you giggle into his chest. 

“Mmm, we should get on that. Shower?”

“Already ready for another round?” you ask with a bit of shock in your voice.

He smiles down at you, “Like I said, mama. We’re making up for lost time.”

Tags: @sparrowofthedawnsworld

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 9

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Scuse me, buttercup,” Dotty climbs up on one of the high stools along the craps table, “oh, look at this tall drink of water.”

You come up beside her, crossing your arms over the leather trim as she leers at the man next to her. You haven’t missed the comments or how she runs stream of mind, much like her son. It explains a little but not enough. You still don’t understand Lloyd, or was it Marion?

“You here alone, lovely?” She continues on, “if so, I think it’s my lucky day. I should run the table, huh?”

“He’s not,” a woman with cherry curls leans around the man caught in the crossfire, “he’s very much not alone.”

“No harm in askin’,” Dotty chirps as she places her chips on the table, “lotta cuties wanderin’ ‘round, don’t you worry, honey. You have fun with yours.”

The woman grabs the man and tugs on his arm. He sighs and collects his single stack before letting her drag him away. You watch Dotty as she chuckles.

“Oh, them young ones get so testy,” she chimes, “I like to rile ‘em up a little.”

“Uh huh,” you hum and toss in a chip as the dealer prompts for a bet.

“Not you though, I can sense it. ‘Sides, Pookie don’t like the insecure ones, ya know? He needs a girl gonna pull him around by his mustache.”

“He’s… unique,” you agree.

“Oh, he’s always been a special one. Me and Harley knew it from the start. ‘Fraid we didn’t do too good about the only child complex. He does love attention.”

“That’s one way to put it,” you scoff as your money is swiped away with a loss. Dotty on the other hand and handed a generous pot.

“Ah, you know the men folk, they gotta put on the brave face but they’re all melt like sugar in water once they got a woman’s hand around there… well,” she cackles shrilly and pushes her winning backs into the centre to wager. She either doesn’t care or doesn’t realise the risk. “Let me tell you, Harley lumbers ‘round like that Frankenstein fella, barely a word to be heard, but I get him on his back and he’s whimpering like a giddy puppy.”

“Dot,” you gasp.

She laughs and waves away your surprise, “like father, like son, I’m sure. You don’t gotta play coy with me. And knowin’ Lloyd, you don’t need any tips, neither. Oh, but we did try something new. Hon, you ever play around with hot wax–”

“Right, uh, no, not, um, yet?” You clear your throat awkwardly, the conversation veering well out of your control. She really is a lot like Lloyd.

“Too bad, but I think you’ll like your wedding present. We had it sent to your room for tonight,” she explains as another gambler takes the seat at her other side. She turns to greet the stranger with her fuschia painted smile, “oh, hello! You ready to lose?”

The man grunts and offers little rebuttal as he puts in for the pot. You pass as Dotty puts her elbow up on the table, “oh, wow, is that a tattoo? Oh, lord, can I see?”

You watch her long acrylics graze the man’s arm brazenly. She is the biggest flirt in the world. You’re happy enough to fade into her shadow. 

“Uhhhh,” the man drones in confusion.

“I been thinking of getting one, ‘bout time I’d say,” she pushes her chest out and puts her hands to her tits, “was thinkin’ a little bumble bee on the one and a honey pot on the other.”

The stranger chuckles, “cute, er, it’s just a lion,” he unbutton his shirt to reveal the rest of the snarling beast, only its mane visible previously along the edge of his collar. Dotty touches his firm peck and traces the line with her fingertip.

“Oh, you're so strong,” she preens, “did it hurt?”

“Little,” the man doesn’t pull away, apparently too dumbfounded to stop the groping.

“Dot,” you hiss and nudge her, “maybe we should move on–”

“And how’s a man like you all alone?” She ignores you.

“Well, I… I’m waiting for my buddies,” he shrugs as she caresses his chest and reluctantly pulls away.

“Early bird,” she praises, “what are you and your buddies doin’ in a place like this?”

“Bachelor party,” he answers, “gonna play some tables, see where the night leads.”

“Sounds delightful,” she claps and kicks her feet cheerily, “oh my, where are my manners, I’m Dotty, in my day they called me Naughty Dotty, and this is my daughter.” You give a small wave as she introduces you with a wave of her hand, “she just got married herself but you see, she didn’t get no bachelorette, so we’re here doin’ our best.”

“Oh, um,” the man leans over, “congrats, I, um, I’m Colin.”

You withhold a cringe. Of course that’s his name. Of course. You smile as Dotty squeezes his arm, “do you mind if maybe we tag along til your friends come around…” she gives a dramatic look around, “got all these creeps hangin’ around and I’m a small town girl, I wouldn’t mind a strong man to scare ‘em off.”

“Ah, sounds alright,” he says with a lilt of confusion.

“I’ll give you half my winnings even,” she offers, “big boy like you, you could take the whole pot.”

You try to hide your amusement as the man blushes. You lean over and lower your voice, “Dotty, maybe you should tone it down?”

“Nonsense, I love my husband,” she whispers back, “ain’t nothing wrong with a little flirting,” she shifts and covers her mouth, “he likes to fuck me when I tell him all about the young ones.”

Your eyes round and try not choke on your tongue. Well, this is gonna be an interesting night. Far from what you expected.

💎

“Dot, Dot, Dot!” The chant fills your ears as the half-dozen men slam their fists on the table.

Your mother-in-law tips the tall glass back as she drains it with ease, a trickle slipping down to her chin as she gulps down the lager. Your purgatory feels rather dull as you sip at a glass of tame lemonade and watch with startled fascination. She finishes and raises it in victory before plunking it down.

“You’re turn, baby boy,” she points at the thick blond with his burly shoulders, “take that shirt off.”

You shake your head. Your pleas for her to settle have gone unheard and at this point, you can only enjoy the show. It’s actually pretty amused by the whole show. You wonder if Lloyd knows about his mother’s antics. Either way, you can’t say it’s a boring night.

The man, Justin, shifts as another moves along the bench and he lays across the leather. He lifts his shirt and Colin puts a shot in his belly button before stepping back. Dotty bends to squeeze a trickle of lime along his stomach and licks the trail down to the glass before taking it in her mouth and standing to throw it back.

The men cheer again as she wobbles slightly in her heels. Your own feet are screaming from the strappy monstrosities you’d walked the expanse of the casino in. Dotty climbs up to straddle Justin and throws her arm up like a cowboy as she pretends to ride him like a horse.

“Okay, wow,” you shove your lemonade aside, “Dotty, I think it’s a bit late,” you stand as you raise your voice.

“Nooooo,” the symphony of male voices rumbles around you.

“Yes,” you insist as you grab her elbow and turn to speak to her directly, “what about Lloyd? Harlan?”

“They can wait, the night is young–”

“It’s after midnight,” you say.

“Oh, ain’t nothin’ wrong with some fun,” she warbles as she shakes you off, “eh.”

She reaches drunkenly to your strap and pulls it down your shoulder. You curse as your tit pops out and you quickly cover it back up as the men cheer again.

“Don’t she got a set, boys,” she trills and pushes herself off Justin. She faces you and gropes your chest, “come on and get a feel–”

“Woah, woah, stop,” you catch her wrists and shove her away.

“Yeah, stop,” a deep timbre undercuts the din, “ma.”

Dotty’s head wobbles as you both turn to face Lloyd. He doesn’t look impressed as his mother catches your arm and leans on you heavily. She giggles as you give him a look between desperation and shame.

“Pa’s waiting,” Lloyd marches forward and clutches her other elbow.

“Eh, who are you?” Colin comes up behind Dotty.

“This is my son,” Dotty strokes Lloyd’s sleeve lovingly, “isn’t he so cute?”

“Alright, let’s go,” Lloyd snarls as he pulls her forward, her heels clacking under her as you take her other arm, “sweet cheeks,” he speaks over her head, “hope you didn’t get your fill.”

[heartof-lion]

Hades 2, and while I'll forever be on my 'you actually can do a retelling of the Hades/Persephone myth without treating Demeter like a helicopter parent AND giving her her justified rage, yes I'm looking at you Lore Olympus' bullshit.

Spoilers I guess as I got to the part of the game that isn't developed yet. I'll put them under Read More

Pro's:

This is a very well polished Early Access. I've yet to encounter a bug, and I can live with the fact that some image tiles don't exist yet, and some are just plain drawings.

All the minor deities/Mythological folk are done well. I'm never forgiving them for the lack of Ariadne (include her you cowards, you can include a Dead God, give me my girl). I do in fact keep wanting to punt Narcissus and I cannot wait for his image tile. He better be the twinkiest twink to ever exist. Echo, my poor girl, I just want to hug her.

Heracles, my beloved, they did your very justified rage right. You keep trying to tell Mel, And honestly I'm with you my guy. It is bullshit she gets all these Boons and you have to literally fight for it. Every time I get a Hera Boon I just want you to shake Mel and be like 'RUN GIRL'

Moros, don't make me love you, I'm trying here.

I'm loving how we're getting to see the effects of their dark side too.

Chronus. Death to Chronus but lord he terrifying. Eris is exactly the kind of maniacal shit stirrer she ought to be and I'm tossing your apple away the first chance I get. Icarus is obviously Bae (or was at one point) and oh honey.

Hecate and her Witches (Medea! Circe!) are exactly the kind of terrifying powerhouses they ought to be and while I won't forgive them for the six pack (WHY) she's just so Good. Caring, strict, and truly a believer in Mel and her task. Solid Mom A+

Cons:

Obviously it's not finished yet but for 30$ it's solid. I don't appreciate having to pay to be a Game Tester (pay people for that), but for a game I've looked forward to, for an independent studio? Sure, yeah I did it for Nightingale and that's literally just sticks and hopes. This is far more polished.

The story and its infinite replayability seems obvious in that literal Time will just rewind to where you don't defeat him, but I really hope you can pull the family out of their prison.

You have to fight the Goodest Boy. You maniacs, he's just sad, let me just pet him :(

Odysseus is great. But if he doesn't come off like the worst Crypto Bro that will not only have you believe in Crypto, but will also make you a fortune for you to realize he's ran off with 90% of it, but you have an infinite invitation to the castle he bought with your gains, he feels off. He's too nice. Also it feels wrong to romance him.

But this is funny

'Believe you got on his bad side' YOU ABSOLUTE NERD.

More when it's more finished I guess.

[bitchwhoreofastorm]

Jurgen was enjoying a peaceful morning of deep contemplation in his chambers when the sound of a fierce argument arose just outside of his door. Long experience with his compatriots gave him the wisdom to arise and begin to drag his desk in obstruction of the entrance, but alas, he was too slow; the wooden door was thrown open with a violent clatter, and the incarnate of fury roiled into the room.

"I've had enough of her!" bellowed Hoag. The dark, diminutive man was practically frothing at the mouth, frenziedly waving about something Jurgen couldn't quite see. "Enough of her, Wind-Caller, she ought to be stopped! She ought to-- she ought to be put down like a dog!"

"You're over-reacting!" Barfok shouted from further down the passageway.

Jurgen briefly contemplated whether he could push Hoag back down the stairs, but in that moment of hesitation, Hoag had already forced his way past the desk that had meant to keep him out, penetrating Jurgen's previously-serene sanctum. "Deal with her, Wind-Caller!" Hoag spat, "Deal with her or I'll-- I'll--"

"My King," Jurgen interrupted him, pinching his own nose. "Let's all calm down for a moment. What has she done now?"

"I'll tell you what she's done!" Hoag shouted. "She's gone and anthropomorphized my lunch!" And he thrust his hands towards Jurgen.

The object in Hoag's hands was a haunch of roast ox, but it held itself with a dignity that surpassed its humble origin. In the light glinting from its marinated surface it surveyed the room with calm acceptance, observing its crude surroundings with the plain-hearted absence of judgement that set all of Skyrim's peasants apart from their supposed betters. It remained steady as Hoag waved it at Jurgen, unperturbed, as if thinking: 'And you are the so-called leaders of this Empire? You are the men I should call Lord?'

"He's over-reacting!" Barfok had finally appeared in the doorway, panting from the long climb, her pale hair disheveled and falling out of its braids. "It's a joke," she protested to Jurgen, "A silly joke, a prank, that's all!"

"A joke!" roared Hoag, pivoting around. "You bitch, it's a guilt-evoking metaphor for the lowest of my subjects! How am I supposed to eat it now!"

"If you get queasy when your lunch alludes to the petty-folk you send out to die into battle, well, that says more about you than it does about my pranks, doesn't it!"

The ox haunch regarded this argument with bemusement. As did Jurgen.

"She's been at this all day," said Hoag through gritted teeth, returning his attention to Jurgen. "She went and messed with Chemua's soup--"

"Oh that was funny," Barfok guffawed.

"-- Turned it into a complex metaphor for shame. Put him in the foulest mood. And now she goes and ruins my lunch! You've got to make her quit it, Jurgen. Morale's bad enough out there without her turning things into allusions and euphemisms and such!"

Jurgen exhaled through his nose. "Barfok," he said patiently, "Stop turning people's food into literary devices."

"Hey!" Now it was Barfok's turn to push her way into the room, crossing her arms defensively in front of her chest. "Don't you take his side because he's a wimp! It's a joke, Jurgen, a silly little goof-about to make the men laugh. He's the only one who's got a problem with it!"

"Yes, well, he's louder and more irritating. We don't stop a baby bawling because the baby's in the right."

"I'm no babe!" Hoag interjected. "I'm your King even now, Wind-Caller!"

Does this man deserve fealty? the roast ox seemed to say, when Jurgen's gaze fell upon it. He closed his eyes briefly.

"Barfok," said Jurgen, "Please, just-- stop."

A shadow fell over Barfok's usually-jolly face. She narrowed her eyes and lifted her chin at Jurgen, staring at him coolly from over her round cheeks. "Why should I?" she said slowly.

"I'm begging you, Sister in Kyne! Do me a favour and keep the peace?"

"Aye, you hear him? Keep the peace!" Hoag directed his wrath once more at Barfok. "You're toeing the treason line, sabotaging us like that! We're getting our arses beat by the elves and you think it cheers anyone up when their saltrice is a biting allusion to the evils of occupation? Get a grip, woman!"

"Stop yelling at me!" Barfok snapped. "I don't take orders from either of you! Nay, not even you, Wind-Passer! And I ent standing here while a couple old nannies squeal at me to mind my manners! Look, Hoaga, even your ox thinks you're pathetic!"

The ox haunch did, indeed, seem to have taken on a scornful air. It had borne witness to the discourse of Nirn's most powerful men, and it had come away disenchanted with both the airs of power and those that bore it. Its scathing observation was enough to bring them to shame.

"Hoag," Jurgen said tersely, "She has a point. I can't control her. Why not go to Ysmir about her?"

The hue of Hoag's face had deepened to a striking crimson. "Because he agrees with her," he said through gritted teeth.

"Ysmir has a sense of humour," Barfok said with pride.

"He encourages her tomfoolery!"

"I framed his chambers with subtle imagery of a forsaken homeland, and you know what? He liked it."

"Traitors and soul-sick fools, both of you!"

"Well," announced Jurgen, as calm as a man being judged by a haunch of meat could possibly be, "That settles it. You just have to let her do as she pleases."

Hoag's face flushed, somehow, even redder. "Let her!" he roared indignantly. "Let her lose this war with japes!"

"And what can you do about it?" Barfok asked smugly. "I'm the stronger Tongue."

"We can't command her, Hoaga," said Jurgen. "So. You'll just have to live with it."

"Damn you! You're meant to be the peace-making one! Can't you negotiate with her?"

"Oh, keep whinging, Hoaga, I'll turn your trousers paradoxical next!"

"The matter is settled," said Jurgen firmly. "Now, both of you, get out of my chambers."

"To Apocrypha with you, Wind-Caller! You know what?" Hoag turned his attention to Barfok, waving his accusing haunch in Jurgen's direction. "Why don't you mess with him this time? Hey? Why don't you, I don't know, fill his desk with symbolism or something!"

"Why, Hoaga, you know I'd do anything you ask!" Barfok said cheerfully.

Jurgen blinked. "Wait--"

He had barely begun to inhale for a counter-thu'um before Barfok sung out three crisp dovahzul words. Nothing happened, but everything was subtly, slightly different, as if they had just slipped from one dream to another-- disconcerting non-transition.

Jurgen blinked again. "Barfok," he said slowly, "What did you just--"

"Oh, would you look at the time, Hoaga!" Barfok butted in. "I'm late for my lunch! Good talk, Jurgen, dremyollock, make sure to shut your windows!" And before Jurgen could intercept her she had lurched out of the door and was rushing down the stairs, leaving behind only the receding sound of triumphant cackling.

Hoag looked from the doorway, to Jurgen, and then, finally, to the large window that dominated one side of the room. He drew in a breath. "Now that's just grim," he muttered, before taking a morose bite of his ox haunch. And, without further explanation or farewell, he turned and followed Barfok out of the room, leaving Jurgen in much-desired solitude.

For several seconds Jurgen stood facing the doorway. He pressed his fingertips to his temples. He contemplated whether he had the courage to turn around.

Finally, he turned to face the window.

The curtains hung limp against the pane, like the sails of a ship bereft of air, betraying a stagnation, a stranding, a loss of all will to go on. Though the window was open, no breeze stirred them, as if Kyne herself had abandoned the sorry scraps of fabric. Against the backdrop of the clear sky outside, the faded blue of them was outright depressing...

[magistralucis]

"Kiss me." - Trazyn/Orikan (for @beril66; Necrontyr AU, R-18)

(Drabble for a prompt fill challenge, prompts available here.)

-------------------

"Well?"

Orikan's eyes flickered open. "Well what, my lord?"

"You don't think I've behaved myself so far?" Trazyn had a lovely wryness about him, not only in his smile but his attitude, his long slim fingers playing over Orikan's forehead. It was not often that he saw the Diviner unveiled, but whenever the cloth was set aside, he took great joy in the knowledge Orikan only ever did it for him. "Isn't that why you are come to join me, since I've proved myself trustworthy? No words could express how much it grieved me to sit opposite fair Orikan, merely the length of this little table away, unable to embrace or even touch him but for a fingertip."

As if to claim his due Trazyn pulled him into a back hug, nuzzling the back of Orikan's neck. His hand roamed downwards in a gentle sweep past the cryptek's chest, and Orikan thanked the gauss-lights of the sanctum that his blush would not show. "Grief is a strong word for one hour apart."

"More like two, if you count the time we took to come here. Two weeks, if you count how long it's been since we last met. So you see, the word is completely warranted."

One slender white eyebrow was raised in response. "And I suppose you feel I am at fault for your condition."

"Oh yes, it is all Orikan's fault, all the time and always." Trazyn nodded, mock-wounded. His hand came to a standstill on Orikan's lap. The Diviner let out an incredulous noise in lieu of turning to stare at him; ridiculous or not, those Nihilakh robes were very warm, and comfortable to lean against. "I wouldn't have thought the stars deigned to shine on one such as I. Clearly they do, seeing as you were drawn to me by them, and you've never left me since - fairly sure they tell on me, too, since you've figured out so much of my nonsense. Yet you never stop me. Could it be that you enjoy it too?"

The scent of the Nephrekh incense had filled the sanctum entirely. Orikan hummed in quiet contemplation. Years ago, when they were newer to one another, he might've taken Trazyn's words as a barb against his profession; against his dynasty, against crypteks, whatever was the least charitable interpretation he could slap onto a lord he found obnoxious. They'd argued plenty over this matter and a thousand others in their time. Back then it had felt natural the two scholars should be opposed, for wherever bad faith was concerned, the necrontyr had ever wanted a share of it.

But they were different people now. Life's autumn was brushing its leaves over their heads. Orikan was well-traveled now, instead of merely envying Trazyn for having done so much earlier; he'd seen how in every world the noble folk disdained stargazers, whereas the Nihilakh lord had only ever given him curiosity, as well as a quiet respect for the things Orikan could see. For all of their differences, the two of them had only ever strived for wisdom. Trazyn was perfectly aware that he was being seen, and held no resentment about it; when he'd teased Orikan about those things, he had not done it to lord his riches or his station over Orikan's head, but rather to open his heart and understand.

(Not that this had ever stopped Orikan playing coy about it.)

"Who's to say I've never stopped your nonsense?" He remarked, lifting his chin in a lofty gesture. Like most other crypteks he had a faint tan-mark there, where his false beard was bound during his official duties, and which Trazyn found so tantalizing to trace. "Or that your nonsense was ever worth stopping?"

"Ah!" Then the overlord was quiet for some time, beguiled or bested, Orikan couldn't tell. "You haven't missed my antics then, dear one?"

The Diviner smiled. "Not at all."

"Really." Trazyn looked down at him, quietly amused. And that was when Orikan realized he'd never been bested at all: unnoticed by him, the hand that had been still for so long had slipped under his robes, finding its mark where flirtation had brought his secret core to a melting point. "Because the mouth I can see and the mouth I can feel are telling me very different things."

This too was not new. In hindsight he should have expected it, but in the moment Orikan was mortified.

An angry blush rose to his cheeks. "Well aren't you a knave."

"Yes, Master Orikan, but a honest man."

This, however, made no difference whatsoever to arousal, whether the Diviner's or the overlord's. At long last Trazyn felt empowered to disrobe the suitor's mantle, and he did so right away, searching out bare flesh and the heated moisture that left his slender fingers drenched. "Should I not praise the praise-worthy? Argue, against all wisdom, that what is beautiful is not so? I may be a knave but I will not be made a liar - I want you - I've wanted you ever since you drew that blindfold about me, and took me to this secret place, unknown and unheard by those of your dynasty. For that is not the true void, is it, sweet Orikan?"

He nodded towards the ceiling. Orikan's breath caught in his throat ere he could respond, for the lord's other hand was roaming over his chest now, thumbing langorously over the linen that had peaked with the tips of his nipples; but it was true, that was not the void, or at least their void contained in their current timeline. Before Orikan had worked his sorceries upon this place, it had been a tall but sealed room, its ceiling closed over with noctilith like everywhere else in the tower. The night sky swirling over their heads now was a practice piece, of voidmancy he'd picked up from Sannet, a literal window of alterdimensional space he had brought over for the sake of open air.

That, and of utmost secrecy, for no smoke nor sound could escape this sanctum to present time. Orikan nigh melted to think of the implications. It was a good thing pre-existing familiarity was involved, for he would've been too appalled to even consider it otherwise. (Scandalous! An outrage! The master of a sanctum, overcome by his guest.) He squirmed on Trazyn's lap, his moans stuttering; the archivist held him close, intent on pleasuring both mouths; his kisses were no longer confined to Orikan's nape, but turned him insistently so that he stole the Diviner's breath at every opportunity, the scent of incense and their mingled perfumes heavy about them. His fingertip circled the small nether lips, delved smoothly into the soaking warmth, stirred Orikan to gushing point.

Panting, the astromancer broke the kiss, a thin trail of saliva joining their lips. "Orikan the Diviner begs your pardon, Lord Trazyn, pray have some mercy upon him."

Trazyn laughed. "Now what's this! Begging so early, and not even on your knees."

Yet he was merciful. He did not truly need Orikan on his knees to still his touch, if not entirely withdraw; instead he folded his palm between the Diviner's legs, protective and possessive of his modesty, and allowed Orikan to claim his breath back. "Forgive me, dear one. You are very beautiful. It's true I find you hard to resist now, but really, I feel that way all the time."

"Nothing to forgive." Orikan found their present position inadequate, and turned more decisively to touch the lord's cheek. At this adjustment Trazyn's hand slipped from between his legs, and instead found its place upon Orikan's hips, his gold-stained fingers glistening in the light. "I find you beautiful, too."

Trazyn smiled more wryly at that, and with greater disbelief. "What, inner beauty?"

"Plenty outside to spare." Orikan said, and kissed him back.

The advantages of sitting on the floor was that they scarce had to move anything to lie down. Only the sitting-table, its significance as a boundary long lost; as the scholars fell upon each other they shoved the table away, bracelets and sleeves tangling as they made room for their bodies, pulling together the cushions beneath them for a soft surface. This was it, then, it was happening. The inside of Orikan's head was all a haze, his only thoughts being the Nihilakh lord underneath him, and the delights he'd subjected Orikan to only a fortnight before.

The last time they'd done this they'd been at Solemnace. Trazyn had taken him to his chambers, in the deepest, most secret parts of his palace, and for two days they'd not seen the sun or the stars or much of anything else. The Diviner did not think they had that long now - until the Nephrekh incense was burned, at best - but he was sworn to making the experience just as memorable. He shed his outer robes. As Trazyn was collecting himself, adjusting his own turquoise robes about his loins, Orikan stood and stepped closer to him. Never mind the void, or the gauss-brazier, or the various bright glitters of his room: he was blushing all the way down to his chest as he drew aside his shendyt, exposing the dewy slit that lay between his legs, and he cared none for if he were seen. "Kiss me, lord." He said.

Trazyn gazed up at him, hazy with longing. He regarded Orikan's swollen lips, then the ones presently closer, and sat up. One of his hands closed around Orikan's thigh, the other his waist, holding him steady for the ministrations to come.

"Nothing would please me more." He whispered, then leaned upwards in worship, his lips parting to taste the other's desire.

------------

(Note: Something else that became longer and longer as I wrote. This one is definitely being fleshed out as a full oneshot, oh yes 🤩

This Orikan is not the same one in Unravel, though the physical similarities have carried over. Following from Orikan's sanctum in TIATD, I was thinking of how cryptek sancta might work in general - how strange and reality-bending these spaces might be, given what crypteks are like, while also likely being an intensely private place for them. Being officially invited into such a space would be a great honour, if not a request for intimacy. I thought about that happening in the Flesh Times, how Orikan might invite Trazyn over with the stipulation to keep his sticky fingers to himself, before the lord lays claim to the most precious thing in that sanctum anyway. 🤣 They are already lovers here, experienced and at their kindliest. Not like their dynamic as necrons at all, admittedly, but I think that's part of the fun of writing necrontyr AUs.)

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees Season 1 Character Playlist BREAKDOWN

OKAY, SO this one is gonna be an ordeal.

I set a 6-song limit for every other playlist I made, but this is the playlist that started it all. So, I didn't have a limit. So it's 12 songs long.

Which is honestly like a normal playlist length BUT it's gonna be a long breakdown which I will lovingly do because I LOVE Kristen with my whole heart. Either way, this is deffos gonna be a long post so read if you want (i would very much appreciate it obvi but I get this is pushing it).

Genres Included: Folk, Singer-songwriter, Alternative, 80's

1. Save the People, The Mountain Goats

When wilt thou save the people? Oh, God of mercy, when? Not kings and lords, but nations Not thrones and crowns, but men God save the people For thine they are Thy children as thy angels fair Save the people from despair

Starting off strong with my main man John Darnielle. John, as prolific as he might be, did not write this song it is originally from the musical Godspell by Steven Schwartz. I was raised as a theater kid and I remember one summer my mom took out our cable and the only things we could watch on the tv were dvds and vhs tapes of musicals, and the 1973 Godspell movie was definitely one of my favorites. Its like "what if Jesus was around in the 70s and was a hippie clown and also was crucified on a chain-linked fence and beaten by cops" ...ah, good times.

ANYWAYS, I don't feel like I need to get into why this is a perfect Kristen song - I feel like it really gets to the divide between the way that Christianity is taught to kids vs the way it is enacted by the adults that do the teaching.

2. Father Texas, Birdtalker

Father Texas on his toes Tells me where and when to go He's a savior, liturgy man He's a stickler and a soap monger Shove it down your throat Holy answer man He says obey and I'll love ya Now I'm doing just to prove And I'm walking out of fear But the devils done

Ok so I was raised Catholic, which I feel like is a whole different flavor of religious trauma compared to Evangelical or Baptist vibes - which I feel like the Helioic religion gives. Either way, this song slaps and really gets to that Evangelical vibe.

3. Big Houses, Squalloscope

I build bridges with these arms I will not build a fortress In the circle around the kitchen table I say my "amen" because I feel blessed Secretly hoping, while joining hands, that you can't feel my trembling fingertips

Here's young Kristen Applebees - Chosen One of Helio- who just wanted to help people. She meets her first non-religious friends, plans to convert and save them, and then straight up dies on the first day of school. She comes face to face with her literal god, is disappointed and grossed out by him, and then is magically (and violently) revived.

Can you imagine her returning home, trying to answer her parent's questions about the first day, making it through dinner, crawling into bed, and just lying there? AHHHHHHHHHHH

4. Under The Table, Fiona Apple

I'd like to buy you a pair of pillow-soled hiking boots To help you with your climb Or rather, to help the bodies that you step over along your route So they won't hurt like mine Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up

Speaking of those family dinners, as the days go by and Kristen gets closer to her party, how do you think she's gonna react to whatever comments her parents make about them hmmmmmm? The result of coming out of your social shell and realizing how bad the people around you really are.

5. Cleric Girl, Sisyfuss

I need my cleric girl tonight So she can bless me in this plight Dress me in crucifixes so they die on sight I need my cleric girl tonight

This is just a fun song I see as Kristen finds her groove within the party, kinda around the DJ brains fight. Also it makes me think of the prayer chain thing that she had the whole party on at some point.

6. Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos

She knows what's going on Seems we got a cheaper feel now All the sweeteaze are gone Gone to the other side With my encyclopedia They musta paid her a nice price She's putting on her string bean love This is not really, this, this This is not really happening

There's something about a Tori Amos song that never fucking misses. This song, for me, kinda gets at the part of growing up when you really start to uncover the truth of things for yourself, instead of listening to the things you were always told. Kristen buys the book of world religions and reads about the atrocities people did in her god's name. She is also told that the "cool camps" she was going to were run by an actual fanatical cult. Yikes.

7. Eldest Daughter, Isabel Pless

Bring me your battered, your bruised, and your scarred Florence Nightingale, to your broken hearts Bring me your bleeding I'll stitch it up with a bow Tugging at the sword in the stone The dormant hero in me is yet to be known Dying to prove myself again, but I don't know how Wanna lay my weapons down Lay my weapons down Want everyone to adore me even though People's emotions are out of my control Smothering fires Letting flames claim my hands I would do anything to be needed Over and over again.

Okay, the thing about this song is that we get the root of it here in season one, and it shows up really lightly, but God almighty, do we get one hell of a payoff in the next two seasons. Damn. The first time I listened to this song I cried. It's on several of my dnd character playlists - because, for some reason, I can't stop making dnd characters with self-saccrificing tendencies. HM! I WONDER WHY?

But anyways, yeah... something something, Christian households raising their eldest daughters to be surrogate mothers and laborers, something something Kristen is a cleric while her brothers are paladins, something something Women being healers

8. Angel Eyes and Basketball, Foot Ox

There are flowers growing all around A massive animal inside of me And it's so ugly, and I'm so broken And I'm so ugly, and it's so broken I am calling all of my friends To pull me out of this hole But they're so caught up in their own shit And I'm so caught up in my own shit

Ok, this is full Christian guilt. I also really like the way this song is one of those upbeat but devastating ones because it makes me think about her inspiring speeches to her party members just being her ranting about how horrible everything is, and then they get +1 to attacks and extra hitpoints. Living La Vida Loca.

9. We Fell in Love in October, girl in red

Smoking cigarettes on the roof You look so pretty, and I love this view Don't bother looking down, we're not going that way At least I know I am here to stay We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar

Ok, I know this is cheesy. BUT TO MY CREDIT: both the song and the season came out in 2018. Also, you know Kristen would stream the fuck out of this song.

10. Running Up That Hill ( A Deal With God), Kate Bush

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill With no problems

AGAIN TO MY CREDIT: I made this playlist in 2020 - two years before Stranger Things brought the song back to the general psyche. No shade, of course, to the stranger things; it's a perfect song to choose, and the scene effectively made me cry.

But anyway its here because at her bones, Kristen would die for her friends and has and will (unfortunately) continue to. Speaking of

11. Arms Tonite, Mother Mother

I cry in the afterlife I cry hard because I have died And you're alive I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside Your arms alive

Kristen's dying count is more than double most of her friends at this point - and golly gee just wait till season 2!

Can I roll a nat 20 and then be alive?

12. Glory (Bunker Sessions), Bastille

And all their words for glory Well, they always sounded empty When we're looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven Way down here upon the ground When we're lying in the dirt There's no looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven

I really love this bunker session version of this song; the strings and the piano just give it a lovely honesty. Gorgeous song. Perfect way to end this season

[dancingtotuyo]

If my Hands Could Fix It (Joel Miller)

Part 4 of Build You the World Joel X Reader Rating: PG-13 (Language and some sexual references) Warnings: fluffy, angst, talk of pregnancy related things, trying to conceive, struggling to conceive. Tags: pre outbreak/no outbreak, fluff, craftsman!Joel, we're in the 90s folks... but wait... also the year 2000! Words: 4260

Series Master List | Author Master list

You and Joel got married in April in the backyard. Joel built a pergola that you covered in wildflowers and baby’s breath. It was a small ceremony, only about 35 people, but you preferred it that way.

You went to Mexico for your honeymoon. A week on a beach full of sand, sun, and sex. A lot of sex with no children to interrupt you or for you to accidentally wake up. Panic hit on day 3  when you realized you hadn’t taken your birth control pills and only ensued when you realized the pills were still sitting on the bathroom counter at home. You rifled through your bags for a fourth time just to be certain. 

“Darlin, what's wrong?”

You looked up. Joel already had his swim trunks on and a towel over his shoulder. His farmer’s tan was fading from just a couple days on the beach. “I think I left something at home.”

“Can’t be that important-”

“My birth control.”

“Oh.” 

You looked at him. He seemed to recall the events of the past few days but said nothing else. 

“Just “oh”? That’s all you have to say?” You stared at him.

He smiled at you, taking your hand. He pressed them to his mouth. Your shoulders dropped. “I can go buy condoms.” His thumbs worked slow circles into your palms. “Or… we could just see what happens.” 

“What about our plan?” The five-year one. Baby-making wasn’t a part of that for another year. 

He laughed. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re really bad at planning shit, baby.”

You couldn’t help it as your lips ticked upward. It was true. You and Joel didn’t plan things. They just happened. The five-year plan the two of you started was your biggest attempt thus far and here you were, less than 2 months later talking about deviating, or maybe you’d already ruined it. 

You let the thoughts of another kid wash over your mind. Pregnancy hadn’t been this wonderful, carefree experience for you, but it hadn’t been all that bad either. You decided not to dwell on the 36 hour labor experience. Sweet baby snuggles, late night feedings, smiles, first steps, temper tantrums, and I love yous all drifted through your mind. You weren’t sure if you were ready for it all right now, but you could be if you had to. Lord knows you weren’t ready the first time. 

Releasing a deep breath, you nodded. “Okay, let’s just see what happens.”

Joel grinned. He kissed you, hands wandering over the skin your bathing suit didn’t cover. “Now let’s get you onto the beach.”

~

You didn’t get pregnant on your honeymoon. The relief you thought you’d feel upon seeing the negative test was replaced with disappointment. You tossed the test into the trash can.

Walking out of the bathroom, your eyes landed on Joel, reading in bed. You cocked your head to the side. He wasn’t a reader like you, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to read about woodworking techniques or the history of construction. Boring topics to you, but he could and had gone on for hours about both. You enjoyed watching the way his eyes lit up when he started on the topic, but the book he currently held was one of yours. 

“Watcha got there?” You smiled but you felt its lack. It pulled at your face awkwardly. 

Joel’s eyes darted up over the book, an eyebrow raised. “This is pure filth, darling.” 

You laughed, straddling his abdomen. “Where do you think I learned all my tricks?” You took the book from him, checking the cover. “This is nothing, baby.”

“And here I took you for an academic, readin all the time. Is our whole relationship a lie?” He grinned, hands settling on your bare thighs. 

“Yes, I’ve just been scamming you so I have a place to store my many filthy books.” You winked. 

He chuckled, pulling your palm to his lips. He always did that to soothe you. Were you that readable?  

“Whatcha thinking about?” 

Guess the answer was yes. “Nothing, it’s nothing.” You shook your head. 

His brow furrowed. “Baby…”

You shrugged, splaying your palms on his chest. His fingers trailed over your knee and up your thigh. You showed tremendous interest in the logo on his shirt, biting your lip. You felt the pressure behind your eyes. “It’s just…” You sighed. “The pregnancy test was negative and it’s stupid.” Moisture pressed to surface level. You wiped it away. “I mean, I thought I would be relieved, and now I’m crying.” You wiped more tears away with a small laugh. 

Joel continued to rub your thighs. His brown eyes met yours. “I think I’m a little disappointed too.” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in your chest. The skin around Joel’s eyes crinkled, his dimple popping out. You leaned down, touching your forehead to his. “So that means…” 

“Fuck the five-year plan.” Joel grinned. 

You repeated it back and pressed your lips to his. 

You threw out your birth control the next morning. 

~

You’d heard about women tracking their cycles and taking ovulation tests and postponing sex until ovulation, but all of that sounded a bit overwhelming. You’d conceived Asher while taking birth control religiously. You thought it would just happen. 

But three months and 4 negative pregnancy tests later, you found yourself staring at the ovulation kits. Did you go with the cheapest option? How many did you buy? Before going on birth control, you’d been very aware of when you were ovulating and since coming off it, you were fairly certain of when you were as your sex drive kicked up roughly every four weeks. 

“Go with the brand in the blue box.” 

You turned around. Marcia Crawly, a mom from Sarah’s soccer team, smiled at you. You were pretty sure she was on the PTO as well.  

“Oh, thanks,” You forced a smile.

You grabbed the recommended box, cheeks heating up. This shouldn’t be embarrassing. You were a grown married woman with children. 

“No problem. You and Joel are trying?” 

Oh lord, not grocery store small talk in the family planning aisle. “Uh… yeah.” You tossed the box into your cart. Marcia didn’t seem like the kind to spread the word, but you didn’t know her that well. 

“If you want any tips, just reach out. I know all the things to do.” She smiled. 

You thought of Marcia's 4 children all born within 24-28 months of one another. She’d mentioned that fact several times in passing as if it was some kind of accomplishment. It never occurred to you until now that perhaps she’d meticulously planned it that way. 

“Um… yeah, sure. I will.” You wouldn’t. 

“See you at the soccer game this weekend.” She waved. “And good luck.” Marcia winked at you before continuing on her own.

Joel was working in the garage when you got home. Sarah had asked for a bookshelf “all for herself” for her birthday. In the summer boom of work, Joel hadn’t been able to start on it until tonight. Sarah’s birthday was a week ago. You knew he felt bad, but there were other gifts to unwrap, and Sarah got to stay up late that night helping Joel design it. You were pretty sure it was twice the undertaking Joel originally planned. 

With the groceries put away, you went to investigate the lamplight from Sarah’s room. You noticed it when you got home. Her door was cracked. You tapped on it before entering. Sarah peeked up over the cover of her book. You smiled. “It’s past your bedtime, Sarah Joy.”

“Dad said I could read.”

You glanced down at your watch, soft laughter contained. “It’s 10:30.” You laid down next to her pulling her into your side. “Watcha reading?” 

Sarah cuddled into you. “Box car children- Haunted Cabin Mystery.” 

“Is it any good?”

Sarah nodded. “Not as good as the original series.”

“Well, nothing can beat the original series.

You took an extra minute to hold her. She was getting so big. You didn’t know how long she would continue to let you hold her like this. 

Sarah nodded, pressing her back into you as she continued to read. “15 more minutes. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, kiddo. I love you.” You kissed her cheek and tickled her sides.

Sarah’s laughing squeal filled the room. “Mama!” 

You laughed. “Sarah!”

“Okay, okay!” She struggled to catch her breath and you relented. Sarah kissed your cheek. “Goodnight. I love you.” 

You crawled out of the bed laughter still in your movements. “15 minutes.” You reminded

“I know.”

You took a mental picture of Sarah, freshly 10 years old snuggled in bed with a book, and filed it away. 

You peeked into Asher’s room. He slept curled up over a pillow, just like Joel did when he fell asleep before you made it to bed. You tiptoed in, pushing back his sweat-damp curls. He ran hot when he slept. Something he also got from his daddy. Pressing your lips to his forehead, you pulled the covers down to keep him cool. 

Opening the fridge, you grabbed a drink before joining Joel in the garage. He shot a smile your way as he marked measurements onto the boards, but said nothing. You returned his smile. You forwent the stool, opting to sit directly on the workbench. The condensation from the bottle was slick in your hands from the late July heat. 

You swung your feet back and forth noticing the absence of the radio tonight. The cicadas and crickets chirped in harmony. The quick buzz of the table saw joined them as Joel made a single precise cut. He looked hot with the pencil behind his ear.

“You’re gonna get sawdust all over your shorts.”

 He walked over leaning against the workbench. He smelled like pine and dirt. Your favorite. You couldn’t help it as you leaned toward him. 

“Guess you’ll have to clean me off then.” You winked sipping on your drink.

Joel eyed the bottle in your hand. You’d pretty much stopped drinking since the two of you decided to have another baby. 

“Somethin happen at the grocery store?” Joel reached behind you, grabbing his drink. He rested his other hand on your thigh. 

“I ran into Marcia Crawly as I was getting ovulation tests. She offered to give me all the tips and tricks if I needed them.” 

Joel paused, bottle mid-air. His face read somewhere between amusement and concern as he swallowed his beer. “The whole PTO gonna know now?”

“Doesn’t seem the type, but I guess we’ll find out.” You shrugged. 

“So what’s buggin you?” His hand crawling up your thigh. 

You rested your forehead against his running a hand through his curls. He leaned into your touch further. “I’m neglecting my wifely duties. Your hair is getting long.”

His eyebrows raised expectantly. You couldn’t deflect with him. 

“I just don’t like other people up in our business,” you said. He tilted his head, kissing the palm on his cheek. “Especially people we’re not really friends with.”

“Me either.” Joel moved between your legs. Easing his hands on either side of your thighs. 

You rested your chin on top of his head as the two of you enjoyed the summer night noises. It wasn’t silent by any means, but it felt peaceful. 

“Sarah is still up reading. I told her 15 minutes.”

Joel smiled. “Think she’ll remember?” 

“Fuck no,” You said. Joel laughed. “But if Sarah staying up late to read is our biggest issue, I’m not worried.”

“Until she starts stealing filthy books from your shelf.” 

You laughed, head tossing back. Joel kissed your neck. “Get back to work. I came out here to watch my hot carpenter husband do carpenter things.”

Joel smiled, giving you a solid kiss before moving back to his project. You picked up his journal. You’d given him a new one, much like the original, for his birthday after he filled all the pages in the first one. 

“This is quite the bookshelf.”

“She wants fairies on it. Not sure how I’m going to do that yet, but I’ll figure it out.” 

“They don’t cover that in your books?”

“They cover it in yours?” Joel grinned. 

You flipped him off. 

~

You laid out across your bed still in your work clothes. Your abdomen cramped as you waited for the ibuprofen to kick in. Tears streamed into your ears, and for once it wasn’t your period that brought on the tears. 

Work was shit. The company you worked for switched hands last year. Ever since, you hadn’t enjoyed work. The co-workers you were close to slowly quit one by one and your boss was an overbearing, asshole. 

You heard the click of the bedroom door. The bed dipped beside you. His warm, calloused hand covered yours. His lips touched your forehead. You hummed softly. 

“Rough day?”

“Carl’s an ass.”

His finger traced over your face and then he noticed the tears running between your eyes and ears. “Shit, baby.”

“Sorry.” You wiped at your tears, finally opening your eyes.

“Don’t apologize…”

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep working there.” 

“Then don’t.” 

“What?”

“You’re already keepin the books. Tommy and I were talking about hiring a couple more people. Business is good. We’re filling up through the winter. That’s never happened before.”

It was all a part of the five-year plan. Miller Construction, LLC was growing. What used to be just Joel and Tommy had grown to a crew of 5. You’d been doing the books for a couple of years now. The longer-term plan was for you to quit your job and run the admin side of things full-time. You would be able to stay home with the kids so daycare wouldn’t be needed. There were plans for office space, two crews, all a part of the 5-year plan. You quitting your job was still 2 ½ years away. 

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“You’re thinking about that damn timeline.”

“So? We made that plan for a reason.”

“And we said fuck it, did we not?”

“Joel this isn’t deciding to have a baby a year earlier.” 

“Darlin, you’re miserable.”

“Even if it all worked out, what about health insurance? We’re trying to have a baby. I don’t think we want to get the uninsured medical bill for childbirth.” Health insurance was the main reason you stayed at this job. Your 30 hours a week, enough to qualify for benefits, turned into 40 more often than not. 

“You don’t have to work to get insurance.”

“Joel.”

“Miller Construction can offer you great benefits.” He kissed your neck.

“Oh? Like what?” You smiled. He was distracting you and you let him.

“Flexible schedule, bring your kids to work.” His lips trailed lower. “Private meetings with the boss.” His breath was hot in your ear. 

You hummed soaking in the feeling of the idea until reality crashed back down. “I can’t quit my job so we can have a midday rendezvous.”  

“I want you to quit so you’ll be okay.” He took your hands in his, kissing them. “We need you to be okay, baby.”

You stared up at him, relishing the warmth of his hands. “You’re sure?”

“I’ll call Carl up myself right now. Tell him you’re done. You can sleep in tomorrow.”

You thought about it, making the decision quicker than you wanted to admit. “Fuck the five-year plan I guess.” You laughed, feeling like a weight was lifted off your chest. 

Joel chuckled, pressing his lips to yours.

~

On the first day of November, you woke up feeling nauseous. Your heart lept at the thought that this was it. You managed to wait until the kids were asleep that night, your anticipation growing with the mild heartburn you felt throughout the day. 

No second line. In fact, the test strip was so fucking white you couldn’t imagine a faint line. You threw it in the trash can, fighting the urge to scream. 

You turned on the shower and let the hot water wash it away. 

Joel had just turned out his lamp as you crawled into bed without a word. The sheets felt cool against your skin. He kissed your head before turning on his back.

You faced Joel, laying on your side. He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“What’s wrong?” You laid a hand on his chest. The only time Joel slept on his back was when he fell asleep on the couch, you insisted on cuddling a certain way, or he was stressed. 

He covered your hand with his. “Nothing babe, just work stuff.” 

“Something that’s gonna affect the books?”

He looked at you with the one eye that faced you. “What happened to no work talk in the bedroom?”

“Well, you’re clearly stressed in our bedroom.” 

Joel rolled over kissing you softly. “Better now.”

“You cheeseball.”

Joel chuckled. He kissed your forehead. “Now it’s your turn.”

You furrowed your brow.

“I can hear your thoughts, Darlin.” 

“You cannot.”

He touched his head to yours, the moonlight reflecting in his big brown eyes. “They’re racing faster than NASCAR.”

You sighed. “I thought I was pregnant. I’m not. Must’ve eaten too much damn Halloween candy last night.”

Joel managed a soft smile. His hand threaded through your hair. “I’d tell you not to overthink it, but we both know that’s not possible.” 

“Do you think there’s something wrong?” You bit your lip. 

“It hasn’t been that long, baby.” You leaned into his touch. 

“I thought it would just happen, you know.” You wanted to swear as the tears started. 

Joel pulled you into his arms. “I think I did too. I mean… I’m kinda 2 for 2 in that department.”

You managed a laugh and he kissed your head. 

“I love you,” He said. 

“I love you too.”

~

The holidays came and went in a blur. Thanksgiving with Tommy and your mom. Your mother had warmed up to Joel over the years. So much so, she’d let him handle the turkey. He’d been so excited. Christmas morning was just the four of you. A new bike for Sarah and a train set for Asher. New Year's Eve at some big fancy house hosted by Joel’s biggest client just the two of you. In the rush of the holidays, the two of you realized it was your first date night in two months. Joel had fucked you in one of the many bathrooms, the idea of baby making the farthest thing from either of your minds for the first time in a long time. 

It was the third week of January before you realized your period was late. You reeled your mind for the last time you’d had it. Did you miss December too? Your heart picked up. You had. 

You glanced in the living room. Sarah was reading and Asher playing with his trains on the floor. You took the steps two at a time quickly locking the door. This had to be it. There was no way it wasn’t.  

You watched the test process, confused when the second line never appeared. The test must have been bad. You grabbed two more from your drawer. The second came up negative as did the third. You just stared at them lined up on the bathroom counter. The acceptance hit you like a semi-truck, the wind knocked from your lungs.

You swiped the tests into the trash can. Angry hot tears streamed from your eyes. Your bedroom door slammed behind you and you fell into the comforter as you let the sobs wrack your body. 

You didn’t know how long you’d been in bed when the door creaked open. You glanced up, eyes heavy expecting to see Sarah or Asher. Joel’s frame filled the door making you realize how long you’d actually been in bed. “Sarah said she heard the door slam a couple hours ago.”

“Shit.” You groaned. There was an ache at the base of your skull. You buried your head into the comforter. 

Joel sat on the bed, his hand on your back. “Everything okay?”

“Peachy.”

“Darlin…”

You sighed, rubbing your head as you rolled to your back. You knew if you opened your eyes, the headache would get worse. “What else, Joel? I thought for sure I was pregnant. New flash, I’m not.”

Silence ensued. You were too preoccupied trying to rub your headache away. The bed beside you lifted. Joel huffed shuffling out of the room. You sat up. Your brain felt like it was going to implode. Your sinuses were stuffy from crying. You couldn’t think straight. 

Joel barged back in, garbage bag in hand. He yanked open the top dresser drawer where you kept the pregnancy and ovulation tests. “What are you doing?”

“Throwing this shit out. We’re done.”

“Done? What are you talking about?” You were worried you might be getting a migraine as you rubbed your temples. 

“This whole cycle tracking and taking tests every month. We need a break.” He shoved the tests into the garbage bag. 

“Joel.”

“It’s tearing you apart!” He turned around. Your vision tunneled to his eyes. Tears pooled in them. “It’s tearing me apart.” 

He dropped the garbage bag and climbed into the bed. His hands felt cool against your hot skin. “We need a break… please.” His voice broke. 

“Okay.” You whispered. 

You climbed into his lap. He kissed your head and you nuzzled into his neck. A few of his tears dropped onto your cheek as yours slid down his neck. He held you like that until you fell asleep.  

~

You didn’t tell Joel you bought the pregnancy test. A part of you felt bad not telling him, but if it was negative, he’d see it in your face. He’d know what was going on without a word. 

You’d only taken one other pregnancy test since you and Joel hit pause on trying last year, and that was at your annual physical. You’d expected the negative result and when the doctor told you, you felt okay. 

You two still talked about having another child. Both of you wanted it, but the active trying was paused. You agreed your family felt incomplete. You discussed going to see a doctor just to make sure everything was okay, but that still felt overwhelming. 

For the most part, you’d been able to unweave the constant baby think from your brain. Life felt like it was flying by at breakneck speed. You celebrated Asher’s 5th birthday in March. Sarah’s spring soccer season was well underway. There was talk that they could make it to states this year, and Sarah had been named captain. Asher started t-ball. Between the two kids’ sports, most of your weekends were full. Business was booming for Miller Construction. So much so that you were in the market for an assistant, and You and Joel celebrated your 2nd wedding anniversary earlier this month. 

Your period was almost 2 weeks late. You tried not to overthink it. It wouldn’t be the first time, but the nausea had hit three days in a row now. The first day you could write it off. The kids had caught a stomach bug last week. The second day you tried to let it go, and then this morning you actually threw up, twice, and then recovered. It brought you back to when you were pregnant with Asher. 

You paced the bathroom wringing your hands as you watched the second hand on your watch tick in two slow circles. You refused to look before it was time. Your mind raced. You flipped between sure and doubt. 

Two minutes. You steadied your breath as you prepared to look. No matter what it said, you would be okay… you hoped. 

The test lay on the bathroom counter. Two lines, clear as day, stared back at you. There was no doubting it. Shock settled in your bones. “Joel…” He was downstairs with the kids. “Joel!” Your voice steadily rose. 

About the third time, his heavy footsteps rang through the house as he took the steps two at a time. He burst into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” Panic raged wild in his eyes. His chest heaved

You looked up at him, tears brewing in your eyes, hand over your mouth. 

“Darlin, what is it?” He walked over to you. You pointed to the counter. 

He looked over, brow furrowing. Then he saw it. The test sitting there. He didn’t even have to look at the results to know what it said. His head whipped around. “You’re?”

You nodded still suspended in disbelief. He laughed, picking you up and spinning you around in the already tight space. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, laughter mingling with his.  

~

Emma Grace entered the world on December 13th at 12:03 am with much more urgency than her older brother. Joel narrowly avoided catching her as the doctor arrived no more than 30 seconds before she was born. 

Joel settled next to you, his arm around your shoulders. Emma stared up at the two of you. He brushed his finger against her cheek. She felt so small in your arms, and compared to her older brother, she was, weighing in at 2 pounds lighter. 

“She was born after midnight?” 

Joel nodded and the tears welled in your eyes. “She has my dad’s birthday.”

Joel kissed your head and then hers. You leaned into him. Staring down at your baby girl, you felt it in your souls. Your family was complete.

[spitinsideme]

Peach blossoms and wolfsbane

Chapter 4

Tea roses

By Writer anon

So i messed up the timeline a bit this more colonial America era than Victorian my bad whoops. Also sorry for any mistakes or typos I type these out super duper fast haha.

The two women get to talking and the find themselves enamored with that one another have to say.”So judging by your accent you are not from around here?” Asked Spitzy “No miss I ain’t from these parts” answered Winona.”Where are you from then?” Asked Spitzy. “Southern Georgia.” Replied Winona. “Oh you from America?” Spitzy. Questioned. “Yes ma’am I am.” She said with a small grin. “I don’t suppose that changes your opinion of me” Winona asked. Spitzy shook her head “No It doesn’t though there isn’t much of an opinion to change since we barely know each other but I like what I do see and know though.” Spitzy stated Winona stood there for a second before breaking out into a big grin and lets out a little chuckle. “Is that so? Well I’m glad you like me.tell you what I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She leans in a bit close and whispers “I already like you too hun.” It’s at this point Spitzy notices Winona has some sharp chompers. And with that she goes red again ‘Oh God and here I thought she couldn’t be more attractive. She has fangs oh lord help me…’ she thought in her head. But then the woman spoke once more and what she said shook her to her core. “But I would like to get to know you more if you will have me milady.” With this Winona lent forward and gentle took Spitzy’s hand and kissed it. Spitzy at this point her cheeks now all sorts of rosy and red replied with a shy smile on her face “ I would love to.” Winona stood there in stunned silence for a second and then smiled “ Alright.” Replied Winona. “Hmm how about we play a game.” Said Spitzy. “Oh?” Inquired Winona. “What’s the game?” She asked. “ where we both ask each other questions and we answer them.” Answered Spitzy. “Sounds like it could be fun. Alrighty then what does the pretty lady wish to know?” Now spitzy obviously entertained the idea of unmasking her mystery person or even asking for a name but she thought it was too soon for either of those things’I don’t want this little game to end just yet.’ She thought. “So what exactly is your mask supposed to be? It’s sending mixed messages I can’t tell if its a dog or fox.” Asked Spitzy with a giggle she tried but failed to stifle with her hand. Winona slightly worn out by the question “It’s a coyote.” Winona said exasperatedly. Before she came to lay around in the corner of the room some folk did try to strike up a conversation and asked that very question… “Really? I would have never guessed.” Said Spitzy with a big laugh. Winona is no stranger to teasing and normally can’t stand it when Agatha teases her but for some reason she love its when this woman does it and is smiling like a fool. “So what is your supposed to be exactly then missy?” Asked Winona in a teasing tone with one brow raised. Spitzy paused in thought”you know I’m not sure I think it’s supposed to be a peacock?” Spitzy replied. They both turn to look at each other and snicker which then they both let out a laugh. Grinning at each other with something in both of their eyes that can’t quite make out just yet.

Night continues to burn away their little game kept going on with both parties wanting know more about one another. They both even shared some stories. Laughing and smiling all the way while the clock continues to tick the minutes away. While chatting they noticed that people were starting to dance around the ballroom. Winona thought to ask one last question. One that has been burning since about the moment they locked eyes. “I have one last question for you dear if you would be so kind.” Said Winona she looked a tad flushed and embarrassed looking away from Spitzy. Intrigued Spitzy raised a brow. the cowpoke recent shift in mood was noticed but she asked anyways “And what question would that be?” Winona was extremely nervous for once in her life this scared her for a multitude of reasons but she was hung up on one specific thing ‘I’ll just end up makin a fool of myself and of her if I ask her that’ Winona thought. “I was wondering if you would like to get outta here.”Winona said. ‘Coward’ Winona thought to herself. She chickened out but it was for the best she reasoned. Spitzy mouth opens up to let out a little quiet gasp. If her cheeks weren’t burning before they certainly were now. ‘Ah look what you did you fool.’ Thought Winona thinking once again that Spitzy Silence was a bad thing Spitzy finally snaps out of her thoughts and quickly said something that would make Winona’s heart soar “Yes.” Replied Spitzy a slightly frazzled but joyous expression. Winona tooth grin made an appearance again in that moment.

Winona held her arm out and leaned a little where Spitzy was standing “Shall we get outta here?” Winona asked. “Yes we shall.” Said Spitzy’s with a smile. As spitzy latched on her companion’s arm. Spitzy was pleasantly surprised that her coyote masked woman had some muscle to her. They both secretly dipped out the dance hall and headed towards the garden. “Could we stroll through the garden? It always looks lovely at night.”Spitzy asked. Winona simply nodded and they both headed into the garden. Winona didn’t recognize some of the plants except for one stood out to her the most. there in the distance she spots a peach tree. It only had a few full blossoms but it still a slight to behold. They stroll through the garden and enjoy each other company. “They are wonderful aren’t they.” Said Spitzy gesturing to the plants in the garden.” I hand picked themself. This place was just full of hedges and shrubs it was so boring.” She continued. “Yeah I like what you have done with the place. I’m seein all kinds of plants here like all these different colored tulips or these butterfly peas. I also see some Pheasant’s eyes...” Winona paused for a Moment due to Spitzy staring at her”Ah sorry didn’t mean to ramble there.” Winona said. “Ah no love you are quiet alright.” Said Spitzy. “I’m just surprised you know that is all. I think it’s smashing you know all of this.”Spitzy clarified. “Tell me what else do you know?”Asked Spitzy. Winona searched the back of her neck”Ah well I know each plant medicinal properties and even know flower language.” Answered Winona. “Flower language?” Spitzy questioned. Winona piped in and walked up to a bush of roses “it when each plant has a secret meaning like this tea rose it means always desire,always lovely and I will always remember. Some plants crane have multiple means which means you have to pair the right plant to Convey which meaning you want like you would want to pair a red rose with a tea rose if you want to say I’ll always desire you.”She said while holding the tea rose gently in her hand.” “And thats just the tip of the iceberg even the specific color the of the plant has a different meaning.’ Rambled Winona. She once again stops herself ‘But this stuff is probably borin ya to death.” Spitzy grabbed Winona’s hands and said “no not at all! I think it’s very interesting! I just never realized that plants can have meanings.” Explained Spitzy. Spitzy notices a purple flower hanging onto her mystery woman’s front pocket. “ what does this one mean?” Asked Spitzy. “Winona plucks the wolfsbane out of her pocket “this is wolfsbane it doesn’t have very pleasant meanings I’m afraid. It means mistrust,beware,and mistrust of people.” She said while looking at the wolfsbane in a somber tone how fitting that this was the plant stuck to her Winona thought.Then she noticed Spitzy’s Bellanona brooch and felt even more sadden ‘why wear such a sad plant is she unhappy?’

Spitzy noticing how somber the mood had gotten once again grabs both of her hands despite both parties wearing gloves.Dark leather gloves meets soft long fabric ones. This snaps Winona out of her thoughts and she gently squeezes back.Both of them realized how intimate this was and both recoiled a bit away from one another looking away and suddenly finding the ground more interesting to look at hands firmly at their sides. However the touch was not hated by both parties. They both look at each other again faces slightly pink and they both eventually give each other a small smile.

They continued to wonder around the garden talking and laughing all the way. Spitzy felt a small gust of wind and shivered her face slightly flush from the cold. Winona being the gentlewoman she is simply grabs her coat and gentle lay places her suit jacket on Spitzy’s shoulders. “wouldn’t want cha to catch your death out here.” Said Winona. Spitzy gently pulled the coat around herself now flushed for a different reason. ‘It smells nice and it’s warm.’ Thought Spitzy. She nestled even further in the coat enjoying its warmth and it’s scent of pine and fresh rain with a hint of citrus. They both eventually find a bench and decided to sit down for bit. Winona wants to put her hand on Spitzy’s but is one again hesitating. Spitzy noticed Winona’s hand moved towards hers but then it quickly moved back to resting on the bench. Spitzy couldn’t help but feel a tad disappointed. Winona noticing the slight shift in mood decided to hell with it and inched her hand next to Spitzy’s. Winona gently wrapped one her fingers around Spitzy’s,then Winona grasps another finger,andanother eventually they finally slide their hands into place. They are now holding hands. Spitzy happy with Winona’s small token of affection but not satisfied with it moved closer. She scooted close enough where they were shoulder to shoulder and Spitzy leaned on the cowpoke once again but this time on purpose. She nestled in near Winona’s neck. Meanwhile Winona’s face was a mixture of being stunned and of joy. She didn’t know either to have a gay panic attack or to be happy so she chose the second option. She had a small blush in her cheeks and moved her head so Spitzy had some room.Spitzy took advantage of the new space and nestled in. The two sat in silence looking up at the stars enjoying each other’s company. Spitzy tracing shapes on Winona’s chest and Winona gently doing the same but on Spitzy’s hand. They lovingly started at one another. The whole night the two spent together getting to know each other and spent such a wonderful evening Winona feeling content rests her head on top of Spitzy’s.

The clock chimed another hour has passed.Winona checked her pocket watch 11:20pm she remembered that there was supposed a final dance or something of the sort. Spitzy who was lightly dozing on Winona shoulder woke up with a start when she hear the clock chime 3 times. She was confused about her surroundings at first but quickly remembered that she was with the masked woman that she met at the ball. Then Spitzy realized ‘wait how much time had passed I had such a great evening that I lost track of time.’ She thought to herself “ wait what time is it?!” She said. Winona noticed she looked frazzled and calmly explained”it’s 11:20pm why? Do you got somewhere to be?” Winona asked. Spitzy frantic at this point said”Yes! I was supposed to dance with my fiancé for the final dance but if I’m late he’ll…” Spitzy tears up a little bit she holds crumbled to the ground and her head in the hands trying to keep calm. She hated her fiancé but she didn’t want to disciplined by him again. Seeing this reaction breaks Winona’s heart for several reasons but 3 reasons stick out the most. Reason one a woman like her feathered companion shouldn’t be crying,two she has a fiancé she sorta forgot that the woman she was talking to is taken,and three she was hurting and bit fearful just what exactly did this scum do to her to make her react this way i outta beat the livin shit out of him Winona thought. Winona kneeled down and gently moved her hands away and tilted her chin up to look at her. She held Spitzy’s cheek and wiped some of her tears away saying “it’s ok darlin.” Spitzy hugs her. Winona hesitated but reciprocated the hug. “I gotcha it’s gonna be alright.” She said soothingly. Winona eventually get up and wipe any dirt off of herself. “Sorry I just really don’t want to deal with my fiancé right now or ever really.” Spitzy said. Winona once again left her heart break and fill a little bit more anger to this woman’s fiancé. “Let me deal with him then if he tries to give you grief.” Said Winona.Winona held out her hand and had the most sincere smile and look that Spitzy had ever seen.Spitzy sniffled and gave a small smile and grabbed Winona’s hand. The southern woman not realizing her own strength hoisted her straight into her chest. Out of panic of accidentally falling over both of them latched on to each other Spitzy realized she is a bit pinned to the southern woman’s chest but didn’t mind because of how gorgeous the woman was and how strong she was. Granted Spitzy didn’t weigh that much nor was she tall but the woman effortlessly hoisted her up like she was a paper weight.Before Spitzy could enjoy the close proximity Winona let her go and asked if she was alright. Spitzy snapped out of her daze and simply nodded. Spitzy dusts herself off and Winona offers her arm once more and the pair slowly head back to the dance hall.

Once they are at the dance hall Winona notices Spitzy looks around and let’s out a huge sigh her fiancé is not here ‘probably busy being in another woman’s sheets.’ Spitzy thought to herself. Spitzy once again notices The coyote masked woman’s mood shift from watching everyone dance. Spitzy looks away trying to figure out what to say to break the silence. Winona was gonna try and say something when Suddenly Agatha who is a little drunk bumped into her and whispered “go get her tiger” while dancing with some small what looked like to a wet cat of a person. Winona once again almost falls into her feathered companion but instead of bumping into her she catches herself and is now standing closer to Spitzy. ‘Aw what the hell what do I got to lose she thought to herself. Winona inhales a big gulp of air and was about to speak .” Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”This was the question she was afraid to ask however she wasn’t the one asking it was Spitzy. “I would love to but…” “but what?” Asked Spitzy “I can’t dance very well I wouldn’t want to embarrass you.” Said Winona. Spitzy wasn’t having it and so she yanked the southern woman down to her level using her suspenders and whispered “that’s alright love just follow my lead.” She said with a smile. Winona still hunched over gulped and nodded. “Good puppy.” Said Spitzy. They both make their way to dance floor.They both take a little curtsy bow to each other and Spitzy takes the lead. They danced and danced together it taking all Winona’s focus not to muck it up. Then from the railing the duke finally emerges from where he has been and seen his fiancée dancing with someone else?! He knew better than to make a scene besides it was just a dance he had “other” Important things to do. Those other things being the two women in his sheets.With that he slinked off to where he came from.The dance ends and the party is slowly winding down they both give a look to each other and Winona feeling a pair of eyes on them for second looked up to see what she thinks is the duke but his back is already turned to leave. She decided to have one more little moment with her companion before departing. She leans in asks”let’s get outta here again?” Spitzy giggled and yes once more.

They exit the dance hall and head to the garden where they were giggling at each other as they were walking. Spitzy hasn’t been this happy in ages she doesn’t want this night to end and she know her coyote masked woman doesn’t want it to end either. So Spitzy decided to ask one last question. “I would like to know who is under the mask would you be so kind?” Asked Spitzy. As she extends her hands to grab the mask. Winona panicked she couldn’t have her know at least not yet. But just before she could say anything. Pomni came running out she was out of breath and had what looked like a lipstick stains on her neck. “Pomni! What are you doing here also what is on your neck?” Spitzy asked. Pomni squeaks at that and covers her neck.”I’m so sorry to interrupt my lady but The duke is looking for you.” Said Pomni. Spitzy frowns at this ‘there goes my good mood what in the bloody hell does he want?’ She thought to herself. Before Winona could say anything Agatha appeared again behind Spitzy near the entrance of the garden motioning for her to wrap it up and to meet her at the front. Winona nods and says”looks like we both have to go…” Winona stated in a sad tone.Spitzy looked at her coyote companion and asked while holding her hands “ will I ever see you again?” Winona paused she didn’t want whatever this is to end she was in too deep”yes you will” Winona replied in her soothing voice. “Keep my coat it will be even more incentive for me to come back plus it’s cold out wouldn’t want cha to get sick now.” she said with a smile. That smile made Spitzy all fuzzy inside. “I was enchanting to meet you darlin.” Winona said while kissing Spitzy’s knuckle and then palm then Winona started walking towards the front of the manor. If Spitzy’s heart and face wasn’t set a blaze now it most certainly was she was s. While Winona walking away Spitzy shouted” I never caught your name!” Winona walked passed the tea rose bush and then let out a hardy laugh. She picked one of the tea roses and then turn around to face spitzy by using her heels. “I never threw it!” Said Winona. Then she tossed the rose at Spitzy who catches is it while her mouth is slightly a gape. Winona winked at her then turned around and walked away. Even pomni’s face was flushed with a hand over her mouth. Both of them eventually shake off the wonderstruck feeling off or at least Pomni does “Who was that?” Pomni asked with a light blush still present on her cheeks. Spitzy held the rose up and smiled” no,but hopefully I’ll find out soon.” Said Spitzy “Come on then my dunce of a fiancé will come stomping around looking for us and I have to stash this coat before he sees me with it. Would you be a dear and take it up for me.”Said Spitzy “Yes of course my lady” said pomni gently she took the coat of her shoulders and went back inside the manor. Spitzy stared up at the sky and then down at the rose and smiled. “Till we meet again puppy.” She thought to herself. She grinned all the way back inside the manor.

Winona wasn’t fairing much better she was grinning like mad and was happy as can be.’I have to thank Agatha for both the night off and for dragging me out here.” She couldn’t stop grinning for the rest of the night ‘Hopefully we we will meet again soon’ they both thought to themselves

End of chapter 4

Flowers meanings

Butterfly peas: Feminine power

Tulips:depending on the color they can have all kinds of meanings

Pheasant’s eye:painful memories,recollection of life pleasures

Tea rose: Always lovely,desire,I’ll remember you

Belladonna: falsehoods,hush,loneliness,silence,warning

Wolfsbane:beware,mistrust in people, protection,chivalry

Ok so I picked butterfly peas cuz they are very pretty and the scientific name was funny. Tulips are surprisingly very romantic plants and very once again just very pretty. Pheasant’s eye also known as Adonis was picked since I imagined the manor that Spitzy is stuck in is not very pleasant and doesn’t have great memories of being there. Lastly tea rose since once again romantic but also felt like this was the best flower looks wise and meaning wise to use for this chapter

Music inspo:Love song(for the night) by Rosie Cerquone,Florence soundtrack by Kevin Pekin, and Venus by Sleeping at Last

Author note: Hello! Hi! This honestly was one of my favorite chapters to write and chapter five is coming soon as always please let me know what you think Spitzy! also yes you do kiss southern anon by pulling her suspenders but thats for a later chapter *Wink* also also some fang stuff maybe???? Anyways I hope you enjoyed this one was a doozy! Thank you again for reading!

From,

Writer anon

GOOD PUPPY ????YGOD !!!THE AMOUNT OF FLIRTING POERR I HAVE IM ABOIT TO TOP THE FUCM OUT OF THID BITCH LESBIAN SEX GOR THE WIN !!!! i cannot ssit for that kisss ... sussenders kisd .. AND FANG STUFF ????EXCITED ... VRRYVERY EXVITED .... 10/10

[frenchfrywrites]

And Is Three A Party Or A Crowd?

MINORS DNI

Thank you to AstellaArrival on AO3 for this commission!!

Warnings: amab top reader (who's referred to as a man), Yandere power (?) bottom Simeon, voyeur Asmo, (non-consensual) voyeurism, dubious consent, jealousy, possessiveness, make-up sex, dacryphilia, cock cages

erm a little note before the fic bc this is a bit darker than what i typically write.. there are heavy themes of voyeurism, dubious consent (on readers behalf), and outrageously unhealthy relationships in this fic. I left it ambiguous as to whether this is a scene between the characters or not. If it helps your mind rest easy, Simeon is aware of everything, and everyone discussed this earlier <3 And if you're more turned on by the fact that Simeon isn't aware, then you can read the fic that way <3

As soon as you finish your sentence you regret saying it, as Asmodeus nearly falls over from laughing so hard. 

Glancing at the folks around you, you hope that none overheard you.

“You said what to him?” he hiccups, then screws his eyes shut as he focuses on breathing and composing himself. Asmo, along with all his brothers (you’re impressed that someone was able to convince Levi and Belphie to show up), and your mutual friends, are currently at the ball that Diavolo– Lord Diavolo, the Lucifer in your head corrects– is hosting. As soon as you showed up alone, which is an unusual thing now that you’re dating Simeon, Asmo was glued to your side. 

He had barely greeted you before he began to question you like a detective, nosing his way into your business to figure out why you and your boyfriend showed up separately. He’d gone so far to accuse you of getting divorced, which you explained would be impossible considering you’re not married; though the correction did not stop Asmo’s questioning over who would get custody of Luke. 

The fight you had with Simeon was not even very major, you should really stop using the word fight if you’re honest. What happened between the two of you was hardly even an argument. No matter what you called it, you knew if you didn’t tell Asmo it would become an even bigger mess. You’re lucky he had not yet given up on you, and ran to question Simeon instead. 

You cave fairly easily and tell Asmo about how you had asked Simeon for a little space within the day, and he’d taken offense. There’d been some not-so-loving words exchanged in the heat of the moment, but nothing that could not be forgiven and forgotten. You remember the immediate regret that hit you during the argument when he had smiled, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and promised with tight lips that he would give you space. He had made a noticeable space between you and him when you’d gone to bed, and recommended that you should go to the ball separately. 

Now you’re here. 

“I’m not repeating myself,” you huff, suddenly embarrassed by the situation. It was, however, a relief to tell someone about the incident. You feel a little better already after getting it off your chest. Asmo tuts,

“It’s really not that bad darling, I’m sure he’ll forgive you, or you’ll forgive him” he pauses, thinking over the information you’d relayed, “sorry, are you even mad at him? I’m a little lost.”

“I’m not mad,” you insist, sighing wistfully as you (not-so-subtly) turn to look at where Simeon is. He looks so pretty in his white suit and blue tie (the one you told him matches his eyes), talking to Solomon and Luke. You want to go over to him and somehow fix the situation you’re in, but you doubt a party is the best place to do it. Asmo coos, 

“Oh you pathetic, desperate, sad man,” you turn to look at him, frowning. Opening your mouth you attempt to complain about him kicking you while you’re already down, but Asmo’s giggle stops you, “c’mon let's dance or something, we’ll get your mind off it,” he lightheartedly suggests. There’s a pause as you think about it for a second, and then you let him drag you to the dance floor. A smile works its way to your face as you think about how you’re grateful you have a friend like him, who always knows how to cheer you up. 

Asmodeus situates the two of you in such a way that your back is to Simeon and Solomon. His hope is that you stop trying to sneak peaks of them. This also prevents you from seeing the bone chilling look on Simeon’s face once he notices you dancing together. He’s staring the two of you down, smiling as he talks to Solomon and Luke, but gripping his drink with such force that Asmo wonders how the glass hasn’t broken yet. Thank god Solomon and Luke haven’t picked up on Simeon’s sour mood.

A few songs pass, with the two of you making small talk as you dance, before Asmo’s eyes widen as an “uh oh,” falls from his lips. “Here comes your man,” he informs you, and then you feel the hand on your arm. Turning, you find Simeon staring you down. You feel like you’ve been caught, even though you haven’t done anything.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he doesn’t look or sound sorry at all, “it’s just the two of you looked to be having such a good time, I couldn’t help but wonder what you could possibly be talking about?” he asks, smiling innocently. He doesn’t even spare Asmo a glance. You could cut the evident tension radiating off Simeon with a knife. Asmo seems largely unaffected.

“Oh nothing interesting,” he waves his hand dismissively, “just the results of Beel’s latest Fangol game, he did really well, but he always does, so there’s nothing new there,” he rambles, sounding bored as he recounts the last few minutes. Looking at Simeon, you don’t think he’s listening to a word that Asmo’s saying.

“Yeah, did you want to join in?” you ask, hoping that you don’t sound too eager. 

“Oh no, I recall you saying that you wanted space,” Simeon mentions offhandedly, like it’s not the thing the two of you have been obsessing over for the last 24 hours. Asmo opens his mouth, likely to point out how Simeon was the one to infringe on your space in the first place, but thankfully stops himself. Instead, he amuses himself by watching you fumble with your words,

“Simeon– I– that was– it was really stupid– I– what I should have said– I mean what I meant– I mean I didn’t mean it, is what I mean,” Simeon looks at you with an unreadable expression. There’s a second of uncomfortable, awkward silence between the three of you before Simeon takes you by your arm without a word.

You let him pull you out of the grandiose ballroom, giving a weak wave to your friend, hearing Asmo cackle as you disappear into the crowd. 

“Hey,” you start to slow down, tugging on Simeon’s arm once he pulls you into a mostly empty hallway. He turns to you, and wraps his arms around your neck, tugging you into a kiss. You smile, pleased that he’s back to clinging to you. You didn’t know how much you would miss him until there was space between the two of you.

“Try that again,” he says as he pulls back, referring to your mess of words that hardly formed a sentence or coherent thought at all. You’re relieved that he sounds a lot less upset and passive-aggressive now that you’re out of the ballroom.

“I’m sorry for what I said, and how I said it. There was a lot that I said and I didn’t mean. I missed you,” you admit, wrapping your arms around his waist. Simeon steps further into your space until he’s pressed flush against you.

“I forgive you. I missed you too,” he confesses, leaning in for another kiss. You kiss back happily until you feel his tongue press against your lips, a signal that he wants more.

“Simeon,” you breathe as you pull from him, but he crashes his lips against yours once more, preventing you from stressing to him that you are very much in a public place right now and any number of people could walk in on the two of you making out.

Tonguing the inside of your mouth, he steps back slowly, dragging you along with him, until his back is pressed against the wall. 

A tingle of arousal sparks in your loins when you feel his hands start to wander. While sucking on your tongue, Simeon lets his hands slip from around your neck down to your chest. He feels you up for a second, then goes to undo your tie, and slips his fingers under your shirt to touch your skin. The coolness of his fingers against your flushed skin shocks you awake, and you tear yourself from him. 

“Not here,” you murmur, taking Simeon’s hands in yours to stop them from groping you. You then look behind you anxiously, only to find you’re alone in the hallway. You breathe a sigh of relief, and turn back to find Simeon looking disheveled and wanton– his hair out of place, his lips wet and parted, his blue eyes shining brightly as he stares you down. 

“Follow me,” he grins, not giving you a choice as he yanks you by your hand and leads you further away from the ballroom. Suddenly, he takes a right, opening a door to reveal an empty bedroom. Simeon hauls you inside, shutting the door behind you. You feel flushed all over, thankful that the dark blue of the twilight hour is seeping from the window and masking your facial expressions for the time being.

Simeon lets go of your hand in favor of rushing around the room. You sit on the side of the bed, slipping off your shoes as he lights a candle on the bedside table. When he turns to face you, his features now illuminated by the warm flickering candlelight, you feel your heart throb. 

“That suit makes you look so pretty,” you tell him what you’ve been wanting to say all night long. Simeon kicks off his shoes, and smiles, the first genuine smile you’ve seen on him for the last couple of hours. 

“Don’t you think I would look prettier with it off?” he suggests, plopping himself down comfortably in your lap. You steady him by holding onto his hips, letting out a soft noise at his forward flirting.

“What has you all worked up tonight?” Simeon hums at your question, and instead of answering he tugs off your tie, tossing it elsewhere, and takes your face in his hands, leaning to kiss your jaw. He kisses his way around your face, not leaving a single feature untouched by his lips, until finally pressing his soft lips against yours. 

“Maybe I just missed you, is all,” he whispers against your mouth. You’re about to lean in for another kiss, but Simeon pulls back before you can. “Or maybe I don’t like seeing you dancing with other men,” his grip on your face tightens a bit, and his expression shifts to one you’ve encountered only a few times before, usually when he thinks you’re not looking at him. It’s one that makes your gut drop, and sets worry deep in your bones about what he’ll do next.

“Simeon, it wasn’t like that,” you assure, rubbing soft circles into his hips. You hope your words are comforting him, because you can see now how it might have looked. 

“Oh really? You didn’t want more time to yourself just so you could spend it with him ?” he questions you, breathing just a bit heavier as he stares you down with unblinking eyes. 

“No, no, I was wrong about that,” you’re quick to amend. You try your best to nuzzle into his touch, acting like this is a normal response and a normal reaction. “I said I missed you, I meant it. I was wrong to want more space, I missed you so much baby,” you tell him honestly. Simeon’s wild gaze softens, just a bit.

He doesn’t say anything, just pets the side of your face gently, touching and tracing all over your face as he studies you. 

“You’re mine, you know,” he whispers, “say it, I need to hear it,” he nearly begs. 

“I’m yours Simeon, I promise,” 

“Yes,” his hands leave your face, moving to hold onto yours. He pushes your hands from his hips down towards his groin. “You wouldn’t touch Asmo– anyone else like this, would you?” Simeon asks, making you touch the slight bulge in his suit pants. 

You shake your head, “only you Simeon,” he grinds into your touch. You can feel the cage he’s wearing under his clothing press against your flesh, and you shudder at the memory of putting it on him.

“You want to see me, don’t you?” Simeon asks, and his words make it sound like he’s trying to come off as cocky, but he just sounds desperate.

He takes your nodding head as permission and shucks off his suit jacket, rips his tie over his head, then nearly tears off his button down shirt. All that’s left are his pants. 

Simeon gets off your lap, and begins stripping his bottoms off, and you’re very consumed by the sight before you, but loud laughter coming right from outside the door sends chills all over your body. 

“Wait, wait,” you whisper-yell at Simeon, fearful at the thought of someone coming in while Simeon undresses for you.

Your lover is unperturbed by the people who’ve decided to have a loud conversation right outside the room you’re hidden in. Simeon steps out of his underwear, and your eyes immediately shoot to Simeon’s caged cock between his soft, plush thighs. 

“Simeon,” you whisper, scared to make any noise louder than that. He plops himself on your lap, but you’re having trouble focusing on him with the knowledge that there are others who could listen or walk in at any moment. A violently nagging thought racks your brain as you try to remember whether Simeon locked the door behind the two of you. You’re nearly certain he didn’t. 

“No, wait,” you protest as his hands reach for your belt. Simeon frowns, popping his lower lip out in a pout,

“You said you were mine?” he says at a normal volume, causing your gaze to shoot to the doorway in fear,

“Shhh,” you warn, but the guests outside didn’t seem to hear or notice the sound of Simeon speaking. “No, wait a second,” you urge as he ignores you and begins to unbuckle your belt. The metal clanking against itself sets an obscene amount of anxiety within you. Your hands grasp weakly at his thighs. You can’t remember a time when you felt this nervous. “Wait just a second Simeon, please, we have to be quiet, there’s people outside, anyone could come in and see,” you ramble nervously as Simeon tosses your belt onto the bed carelessly. 

“Ah,” he grins– and how can he be so frivolous with all this?!– “I can be quiet,” he flirts, finally softening his voice towards a whisper. You know that’s a damn lie, but Simeon continues, huffing quietly, “I bet Asmo could not be quiet,” and you’re not sure if that’s supposed to be an insult or not. “I bet,” he reaches into your front right pocket, where you always keep the key to his cage, “everyone at this ball would hear his noises if you penetrated him,” he feels up your half hard cock from within the pocket before taking the key out. 

“Simeon, that’s kinda mean,” you feel very conflicted with what he’s saying. It’s like Simeon is bashing and praising Asmo at the same time. You've also not spent much time imagining your friend getting fucked, and certainly have not imagined you being the one fucking him, but it seems like Simeon has spent some time thinking about it. Defending Asmo was not the right move to make, you realize as Simeon’s gaze hardens.

“Well, maybe he should not have been dancing so close to you. I wouldn’t find myself so frustrated with him if he had just backed up a bit,” he huffs. “Help me get these off,” he demands, tugging on your waistband. There’s an awkward readjusting period where you undress yourself fully. 

You notice that it’s gone quiet in the hallway, meaning the guests have moved. You’re still anxious about being found out, especially if you’re gone too long, but at least you can semi-refocus your attention onto Simeon while knowing you’re secluded for now.

“It’s obvious he wants to take what’s mine,” Simeon says softly, resettling himself on your lap. He spits into his hand and reaches down to stroke you to full hardness. You’d lost a bit of your erection from fear, but it doesn’t take long for him to get you worked up again. You return your hands to his hips, holding him steady, and you notice the slight tremor they have from the adrenaline lingering. “But there’s a reason you hold a key to my cage,” he mumbles, rubbing the tip of your cock and distracting you. You try to stifle the moan that leaves your lips at the sensation. “You’re mine and I’m yours. You holding the key is proof of it. I wear it because I’m yours,” he rambles possessively, his breathing labored. There’s some underlying guilt, but you’re undeniably turned on by how possessive Simeon is getting over you. 

He suddenly stops stroking you, and reminds you that he’s been holding onto the key to his cage when he forcefully presses it into the palm of one of your slightly shaking hands.  

“Unlock me,” you look at him, dazed and confused as you slowly process his words, your head too muddled with lust to think straight. It takes you some time to do so with the state you’re in, but eventually you press the key into the lock, and remove the cage from him. Being able to focus on a task grounded you, and you’re grateful that Simeon didn’t rush you through it. 

He gasps at the relief, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. “Thank you, oh thank you,” he murmurs, kissing your skin. Your heart swells at being able to please your lover, and the anxiety you’d had is nearly nonexistent now. You place the cage and key next to you on the mattress, and run your fingers through his hair. 

The moment of tenderness ends when you feel Simeon’s swollen, needy, leaking cock rut against yours,

“I want you inside me,” he moans. 

“We need a condom,” you tell him breathlessly, impressed with yourself for even thinking of it. Because even though imagining your cum seeping from his hole makes you salivate and leak pre, you know the aftermath of Simeon being all messy while you have to attend the rest of the ball would not be fun. Simeon slips off from your lap, just as easily as he plopped himself down in the first place. It gives you whiplash. 

He rummages through his suit pants, only settling in your lap again when he has a condom and mini vial of lube in his hands.

“Did you plan for this?” you ask, taking the lube from him. Simeon smiles,

“Maybe,” and you laugh at that, leaning in to kiss him lovingly. He pulls back after a second, eager for you to start stretching him out. “I want to ride you,” Simeon tells you as you coat your fingers with lube. “I have to see you, and I want to feel you in my stomach, I want to remember- ah ,” he’s cut off momentarily when you reach around his body and press against his hole. Simeon rocks himself back against your fingers, “I want to remember that I’m the only one who will get your dick inside of me.”

You groan at his words, spreading the lube along his rim then slipping a finger inside of him easily. Simeon lets out a pleasured hum, clinging to you as you being to prep him for your cock. You work in one finger, intentionally avoiding his prostate, only focusing on stretching him open for another. It takes a good moment until he feels ready, and then you press in another, scissoring his hole open, and only barely fucking your fingers into him. To your surprise, he is fairly quiet through this, only kicking up the volume and frequency of his moans when you finally add a third finger alongside the others. 

“I’m ready,” he gasps as you begin to scissor your fingers, “please, I want- I need your cock, now, I-” he moans, scratching your skin desperately. 

You slowly ease your fingers out of him, wiping off your lubed fingers on the bedsheets and mentally sending Barbatos an apology for it. Simeon, lost in his desperation and need, sloppily lubes up your cock, and you let out a stuttered moan at the stimulation. Within the blink of an eye he’s shakily raised his hips and popped the head of your cock into his entrance.

“Fuck,” you breathe, your eyes flickering to the door while he squeezes and sinks himself onto you. Your heart catches in your throat when your gaze catches a pair of amber eyes peaking through the doorway. Asmo- your brain quickly provides an identity after putting together all the pieces- is staring at the two of you through a crack in the door, and when he notices you’ve caught him he winks, bringing a finger to his lip in a “shhh” gesture.

“Simeon-” you choke, fumbling at his skin. Your skin feels itchy and hot, “wait,” he sinks lower on your cock and you try to silence your moan, “ ah - stop, stop, we can’t, someone could cuh- oh -come in,” you whisper. 

Simeon drops himself further onto your cock, “ oh , I can’t stop now,” he whines, “I need you inside of me, I need it.” From the sound of his voice alone, you believe him. You think if you pulled him off of you now, he’d be inconsolable.

You glance over to the door once again and see that Asmo has his cock pulled out of his suit pants and has his hand wrapped around it. Though you can only faintly see him with the help of the candlelight and light from the hallway, the sight of him still makes your hips jerk, and Simeon’s breath catches. He turns his head to look, but you stop him by tugging on his hair pulling him into a wet and messy kiss. On one hand, you want Simeon to know someone’s there, but on the other hand, the fear of what would happen if Simeon knew it was Asmo watching stops you from letting him look. 

Successfully distracted, he lets you lick into his mouth until he’s gasping for breath. When Simeon pulls back- a string of saliva connecting your lips- his pupils are dilated and his lips are puffy, spit-slicked, and still looking much too kissable. 

Leaning in, you try to capture his lips again, but he slides down the rest of your length, and releases a shuddered sigh when he’s seated fully on your lap. Your head knocks back slightly as your cock is fully engulfed by his hot, tight, twitching hole. Simeon’s lashes flutter shut, and being filled with you makes his expression melt into one of pure content. Then he starts to move.

You let out a startled moan as he fucks himself on your cock, starting with a fervored pace, letting out soft, erratic moans in your ear. Tucking your face into his chest you try your best to hide how knowing that you’re being watched makes your cock twitch and your balls ache. 

You would have never guessed that being watched while you fuck would turn you on so much, but the fact that Asmo is getting off on you fucking Simeon has undeniable effects on you. You almost wish he’d come into the room, so you could better see how he jerks himself off while he watches the two of you. Part of you wonders if Simeon is right; if he weren’t hiding, would Asmo be loud and open with his sounds?

You wonder what Asmo's point of view is. How much can he really see with just the candlelight and light seeping in from the hall? Would he be able to see Simeon's gorgeous arched back, and his perfect ass bouncing as he works himself off on your cock. Would he be able to see hints of your cock– disappearing and reappearing every time Simeon hauls himself up and drops down on you? He could maybe see bits of you and your face peaking out from behind your lover to catch glimpses of him. 

Maybe, you think, the sound of Simeon riding you, his sticky thighs colliding with yours on each thrust, both of your heavy breaths, the faint squelching from your cock fucking his wet hole, is enough to get him off? 

Maybe, all he needed was to know what you were doing to have his imagination fill in the rest.

“Feels so good,” Simeon whines, bouncing on your lap, redirecting your attention to him, “you-you feel good too? I fuh -feel good?” his voice cracks, his eyes glossing over. 

“Ah - yes god Simeon, you always feel so good,” you groan, glancing down and finding yourself entranced by the way his cock bobs against his stomach, leaving a glistening wet spot from where his pre is leaking. If you had more time and space to do so, you’d really like to suck him off. 

“Hngh- oh , I’m the one that makes you feel good, oh -only me,” he babbles, leaning into your body, pressing himself flush against you. In the candlelight you can see how Simeon’s eyes shimmer, welling with tears. 

“I love you so much,” he chokes, “I just want you,” he hiccups wetly, “I want you to only look at me, and talk to me, and think about me ,” he whines, the dam breaking as the tears flood down his cheeks. You kiss him tenderly, trying not to focus on how the same possessiveness that had worked you up and turned you on also causes a shiver to rush along your skin. 

“Yeah, I love you so much angel,” you say, indulging and sedating him instead of challenging his statements. Simeon keens at your words, his thighs shaking as he raises himself with the next thrust.

“Say it again,” he cries, panting through his sobs. 

“I love you, Simeon, I love you so- oh much,” you groan. Pre gushes from his cock as Simeon moans your name. 

“I think I’m going to cum,” he squeezes around you to prove his point. You drop your hand down towards his cock, wrapping around its base, preventing him from getting there. Simeon lets out a surprised gasping moan, his eyes going wide, and his eyebrows scrunching together, so clearly conveying his bewilderment.

“I just-” don’t want the show to end, your brain fills as your eyes flicker back to the doorway, “I need you for a second longer , ngh, wanna cum inside,” is what you say instead. It’s a strange request, considering you’re weaning a condom and Simeon wouldn’t receive the orgasmic feeling that comes with being filled, but it affects him all the same. 

He nods his head so fast you worry for a moment about his neck, and breaths your name, falling in for a kiss. 

When he pulls away so he can catch his breath, Simeon’s gaze flickers down to where your hand is circled around his weeping cock. He stares, wide eyed and hungry, fucking himself even faster. 

“Please cum,” Simeon whines, all high and pretty and needy. Your hips jerk up into him as he slides down your cock, causing an obscene slapping noise. The sound of it would be a cause of concern if you didn’t currently have someone prying in. 

“ Shit ,” you gasp, feeling your orgasm quickly creeping up on you, “just- ah - a little faster, m’ almost there,” Simeon obeys, picking up the pace. 

Wanting Simeon to cum with you, you go from holding his base to stroking his cock in time with your thrusts. The action makes his hips shake, and his fingers clutch for a grasp on your skin. 

“Please,” he moans your name, and it tumbles you over the edge. You fill the condom, fucking Simeon roughly on your lap. Within the period of a second your eyes drift over to the doorway, and even just seeing the little of Asmo’s orgasm that you can with the candlelight has your cock throbbing. 

Simeon reaches his high somewhere between you fucking him like a fleshlight, and you falling slowly back against the bed, taking him down with you. To be honest you couldn’t say you’d given Simeon your full attention. When you look back to the doorway you see that the door is fully closed, and any sign of Asmo being there is gone. Part of you distantly wonders if he’d ever been there at all. 

“I think we should get back out there before someone comes looking for us,” you muse, not making a single move to get up and follow through with your thoughts.

“I think you’re right,” Simeon hums, “but promise you’ll only dance with me, okay?” he looks at you with his big blue eyes, pleading. You laugh softly,

“Of course,” you take his pinky in yours, sealing the promise you’ve made. Simeon giggles at the action, and you both lay together for a little while longer before you seriously refocus on cleaning up.

“Will you put the cage on me again?” Simeon asks so sweetly and softly after you’ve tossed your condom in the trash. Gently you help him into it, taking in the sight before you. “Thank you,” he mumbles softly, tracing the cage possessively.

From there you both hurry through redressing. You’d say, considering that the materials you were working with were a couple of tissues, one wet wipe, and some spit, the two of you look almost back to normal. If anyone were looking they’d notice the dishevelment, but you’re hoping- as you have been for most of the night– that no one will spare you a second glance.

You open the door just a crack, to let in the hallway light, as Simeon blows out the candle. Reaching out into the darkness of the room, Simeon’s hand reaches back to intertwine with yours. Hand-in-hand you guide him out of the room and towards the party. You pray Simeon didn’t notice the clear evidence of Asmo’s orgasm making a mess on the floor as you both scurried back to the ballroom. You mentally send Barbatos another apology.

[pep-the-artemis]

*ominous piano music playing in the background*

young J - *doing manor cleaning as instructed*

young N and V - *pretending to clean as to not get punished*

Cyn - *just vibing, most likely eating something she really shouldn't be*

young J - you know, you three could actually be doing work.

young V - *holding a feather duster*what do you mean, we are doing work? (:

young J - What's the thing your holding?

young V - ...a cat toy? (:

young J - look, its in all our best interests that all four *looks over at Cyn* all three of us to actually work together to keep this place clean!

young N - couldn't we like, just lie and if Tessa's folk ask why a room is messy we make up an excuse like "no Miss Elliot, we did clean this room but then a massive portal opened up and made it all messy again?! Look, we're as shocked as you are".

young J - ...a massive portal... opening up... making a room dirty?! That's gotta be the dumbest thing you've ever said

*SUDDENLY, A MASSIVE PORTAL OPENS UP IN THE ROOM THROWING EVERYTHING ONTO THE FLOOR, FILLING THE ROOM WITH SNOW AND DUST. From the portal, three shoaled individuals emerge.*

J - *throwing of her shoal* there's no time to explain. We are from the future!

young J - OH MY ROBO-LORD, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY? YOUR LEGS?!!

J - oh, yeah, you see there was this landmine and

young J - A LANDMINE?!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN A LANDMINE?!

V - *throwing of her shoal* ok, I feel like your focusing too much on the wrong details so lets reiterate, we are from the future!

young J - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?!!

V - ok, you see there was this second landmine.

young J - A SECOND LANDMINE?! ARE THERE JUST LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF LANDMINES LYING AROUND IN THE FUTURE?!

N - *throwing of his shoal* Look, I think we should all take a moment to catch our breaths and just start this conversation again from the beginning. We could even put our shoals back on and step back through the portal if you'd like.

young J - WHY ARE HIS LEGS NORMAL?!

V - ok, so there was a third landmine but SOMEONE was unwilling to step on it.

N -Why would I step on a landmine?!

V - because it would have been funny?

N - maybe to you?! Standing on a landmine sounds like a horrible experience... like I can't imagine anything worse to be horrifically disfigured permanently

V and J - (:

N - *sweating*...and I don't think black prosthetics really fit my style, not that that's a bad thing of course, his to there own I always say. hahaHA *on the edge of tears*

Uzi - ughh *throwing of her shoal*

young N - darkxwolf17?!

Uzi - not questioning the ramifications of you knowing that. We need to focus, no more distractions.

N - hey wheres Tessa?

young N - she's currently having piano lessons.

Uzi - please stop. V.

V - yes

Uzi - NO! The other V!

young V - oh me? Wait, what do you want from me?!

Uzi - what is your glasses prescription?

young V - +4.96... why?

Uzi - ughh, bite me, you see someone (not mentioning names), accidentally broke there only pair of glasses and FORGOT there specific prescription so we couldn't just buy a new one.

young J - you came all the way here for that? That was your urgent, no time to waste problem?!

J - hey, it was Uzi's idea to say that, don't look at me

Uzi - it's just something you say after time traveling get used to it. Wait, who's that?

young N - *picking up Cyn* oh, this is Cyn, my little sister. Say hi Cyn... she's a little shy don't mind her.

Uzi - Cyn! C-Y-N ... that Cyn?! *turning to V* is this really the person you've been mistaking me for all this time?!

V - Don't blaim me, its not my fault all short people look the same.

N - welp, I think its best we get going.

young J - so you're just going to leave us with all this mess?!

Uzi - yeah, good luck with that.

N - yeah, sorry about that... *looking around* yeah this is real bad isn't it, if Tessa's folks found out they'd kill you for sure.

*long pause*

young V - wait, wouldn't that create a paradox?

N - almost certainly.

young V - oh

*young N,V,J look around at each other before walking out of the room*

N - wait, where you going?!

young J - that whole paradox stuff sounds rough and very painful but also not our problem, have fun though.

*Uzi follows the group out of the room*

J - where do you think you're going?!

Uzi - my life's not a risk of paradox torture. Gonna try and find out if your childhoods were as really bad as you made it out to be.

*long pause*

V - you really had to open your mouth, didn't you.

[ckerouac]

What I Read: May

Since I find things to read from other folks’ recommendations, figured I’d start keeping lists myself if anyone sees anything that strikes their fancy.

Fiction

Perfume & Pain by Anna Dorn

4.25/5 || Excellent, homage to lesbian pulp, main character is a disaster of her own making.

Having recently moved both herself and her formidable perfume bottle collection into a tiny bungalow in Los Angeles, mid-list author Astrid Dahl finds herself back in the Zoom writer’s group she cofounded, Sapphic Scribes, after an incident that leaves her and her career lightly canceled. But she temporarily forgets all that by throwing herself into a few sexy distractions—like Ivy, a grad student researching 1950s lesbian pulp who smells like metallic orchids, or her new neighbor, Penelope, who smells like patchouli.

Bad Summer People by Emma Rosenblum

3/5 || It’s fine. Nothing memorable, but an easy beach read.

Jen Weinstein and Lauren Parker rule the town of Salcombe, Fire Island every summer. They hold sway on the beach and the tennis court, and are adept at manipulating people to get what they want. Until a body is discovered, face down, off the side of the boardwalk.

Very Bad Company by Emma Rosenblum

3.25/5 || Very readable, decent if not memorable mystery, another easy beach read.

Every year, executives at the trendy tech startup Aurora gather the company’s top employees for an exclusive retreat in Miami. When one executive vanishes after the first night, the disappearance has the potential to derail the future of the company’s sale and cost everyone on the team millions. Now the team must continue the charade–partaking in team building exercises, group brainstorms, dinners–in order to keep the future of Aurora afloat amid all the fatal speculations.

The Heiress Gets a Duke by Harper St. George

3/5 || Easy, quick, The Gilded Age but the main character insists on modern feminism

American heiress August Crenshaw has aspirations. But unlike her peers, it isn't some stuffy British Lord she wants wrapped around her finger--it's Crenshaw Iron Works, the family business. When it's clear that August's outrageously progressive ways render her unsuitable for a respectable match, her parents offer up her younger sister to the highest entitled bidder instead.

Nonfiction

Surprise, Kill, Vanish: The Secret History of CIA Paramilitary Armies, Operators, and Assassins by Annie Jacobsen

4.5/5 || Highly recommend. Engaging, eye-opening, and a fuck ton of ‘…oh no…’

Despite Hollywood notions of last-minute rogue-operations and external secret hires, covert action is actually a cog in a colossal foreign policy machine, moving through, among others, the Bureau of Intelligence and Research, the House and Senate Select Committees. When diplomacy fails and overt military action is not feasible, the President often calls on the Special Activities Division, the most secretive and lowest-profile branch of the CIA. It is this paramilitary team that undertakes dramatic and little-known assignments: hostage rescues, sabotage, and, of course, assassinations.

Unruly: A History of England's Kings and Queens by David Mitchell

4/5 || Very interesting, but written in a tone you’ll either mesh with or not.

Taking us right back to King Arthur (spoiler: he didn't exist), David tells the founding story of post-Roman England right up to the reign of Elizabeth I (as the monarchy began to lose its power). It's a tale of narcissists, inadequate self-control, excessive beheadings, middle-management insurrection, uncivil wars, and at least one total Cnut, as the English evolved from having their crops nicked with menaces by the thug with the largest armed gang to bowing and paying taxes to a divinely anointed King.

The Pentagon's Brain: An Uncensored History of DARPA, America's Top-Secret Military Research Agency by Annie Jacobsen

4/5 || Interesting, but drags a bit in the second half. Again, so much ‘…oh no…’

No one has ever written the history of the Defense Department's most secret, most powerful, and most controversial military science R&D agency. In the first-ever history about the organization, New York Times bestselling author Annie Jacobsen draws on inside sources, exclusive interviews, private documents, and declassified memos to paint a picture of DARPA, or "the Pentagon's brain," from its Cold War inception in 1958 to the present.

[sabraeal]

Tenderness Like a Bruise, Chapter 2

[Read on AO3]

Took a small break from frantic bingo writing to make this for @puffdragongirl‘s birthday! Robin asked for MORE OD ANA, and since I had always meant to continue with this fic...I was happy to tack another chapter on!

The petal and wings of Wisteria may burst across this man’s throat, but he’s no royal messenger Od Ana’s ever seen. Too young, for one; his pale hair fluffs out from his scalp like a chick’s feathers, kind that shouldn’t be wandering so far out from under their mother’s nethers. His daemon’s been ridden hard too, her flanks heaving the way an experienced rider would never allow. 

Still, she’s got enough spirit in her to give Od Ana one of those wall-eyed stares, the kind that shows white all around. That’s what they get, having their reputation precede them like it does. The prince’s messenger and his witch daemon. Sometimes he’s got her so far away you can’t even see her. Can’t trust a man like that. 

They’re lucky that daemon doesn’t take more after a horse and balk for the shock of it.

Ah, but whatever she thinks of its bearer, the bad news is stamped with the royal seal all the same. “There’s the message. From the prince himself!”

There’s a certain amount of pomp to these things; the messenger holds it out, a little square that can’t have much more than a handful of lines scrawled on it, and bows like it’s some lordly edict. And for all that, Obi sits back in his hips and takes it, opening it with little more than a flick of his wrist.

There’s a trick to it, of course: apply the correct amount of force at the right angle and wax sheers from the sheet without even clipping the Wisteria wings. But messenger boy doesn’t know it; he just stands there gawping like he just fell off the wagon, impressed by nothing more than a party trick. Od Ana hopes for his sake he learns to hide it better. There’s plenty of thorns in Wistal’s garden that would enjoy having a bumpkin in their pocket. The king, for starters.

“Ah, but also...Sir Obi...on my way here...”

Od Ana glances up, claws flexing over collarbone, and, ah, she’s seen that wide-eyed gaze before, that starry shine. She may have no name to put to a face for him, but it looks like whatever reputation has wended its way back to Wistal has more in common with Hiro’s hero worship than city folk superstition.

The messenger’s reedy voice drops to a whisper. “I heard news about the string of attacks on noblemen.”

Obi glances up, the bristle of his hair brushing her feathers. “Oh yeah? A new development?”

“Well...” Under Obi’s direct attention, the boy shies the way young men do at a pretty girl’s doorstep. “They say that the lead suspect is, ah...”

Hisame Lugis. The name springs to her beak on reflex, instinct. She’s only seen the man once, malingering at the edges of a ballroom, but she’s heard enough about that little ladder-climber to know he’s the sort that wouldn’t be shy sharing a few knives to the back among friends. Especially if those lucky pals were thinking about putting their grubby paws on the same heiress of Seiran.

“...Sir Mitsuhide Lowen.”

The papers flutter to the cobbles, Obi’s hands boneless above them. “What?”

Obi might have a memory like a steel trap, but between the two of them, it’s Od Ana who reads faster. She hunches over his shoulder, skimming the prince’s sloping script, and still, she can’t put it all together, can’t make it make sense. The lords, the murders, Sereg, Mitsuhide. Maybe from a distance the edges blur into a big picture, like one of those fancy paintings in Wistal’s galleries, but from here, on the ground, she can’t see it. Can’t see how anyone would think a man like Mitsuhide Lowen would send another man to do his dirty work. Dust, that he’d have dirty work to begin with.

She’s got a hundred thoughts buzzing in her head, each more nasty than the last, but Obi doesn’t say a word, doesn’t do anything but lean over the stone and stare out over the plaza. Shirayuki’s down there right now, with Ryuu too, and neither of them know, neither of them could even suspect...

Her beak clicks, annoyance biting at her like mites. “You aren’t actually thinking of going.”

It’s not a question, it’s a hope. A blind one, flung out into the wind as an attempt to slow their descent. Because she already knows the answer: he is. And the longer he says silent, the more sure she becomes.

“Don’t.” It’s not in her to plead. Birds don’t have knees, she’d always say-- not where Shirayuki hear-- but, oh, Obi has enough for them both. What’d be nice is if he could stop getting on them. “Zen hasn’t even asked for you.”

“He has.” The words roll off his lips just like that first step he took in the forest. Playful, testing the edge of his limits, flirting with the promise of pain. The next one will be worse, she knows, and the next, all the way up to when it suddenly isn’t. To when it’s all gone. “There’s no other reason for Master to send another guard up here.”

Not unless he’s already expecting Obi to come sit at his heel. That’s how these Wisterias work, of course: everything written between the lines. Obi wouldn’t be sagging underneath his sir if he wasn’t fluent in it. If they both weren’t.

Doesn’t mean she has to like it.

“We have something good here.” And she’s not ready for that sting again, for the burning in her chest as another bond breaks, left to die somewhere out in snow. “Something real. There’s no reason to give that up to--”

“They need us.” One corner of his mouth lifts, helpless. “And if we turn our back on them now, on Mister...”

His shoulder lifts, and oh, she knows that hopeless look all too well. If we don’t go, his smile says, then we aren’t who she thinks we are.

The worst part is: he’s right.

“Shirayuki,” Suzu observes, far too mild. “Your flask is going to boil over.”

“What? Oh!” With a blink, the apparatus comes into focus, and ah, yes, that is too rigorous a roil when she’s looking for something just a hair above a simmer. “Ah, thank you.”

His shoulders shrug the way a hanger might, all wires and sharp edges, coat surviving through sheer hardiness of the fur. “Don’t mention it.”

And just like that, he walks away. No, ‘gee, Shirayuki, what’s got you so distracted?‘ or ‘is there something on your mind?’ Hermia gives a sympathetic blink,  but she doesn’t so much as croak to slow him down either, just sits on his shoulder like a moss does on a log while he wends around the lab, aimless.

Shirayuki sighs, turning the valve on her burner until the flame flickers at a much cheerier orange. Fiddles with the legs on her alembic’s stands for good measure too; anything to keep her mind from drifting back out to the market, to the stairs she’d watched for nearly half an hour before Suzu came to distract her with work. His work, specifically, but it had been better than sitting on cold stone and wondering.

“Worrying,” Perkunas hums, paws catching her around the ankle. “You’d been worrying. Like you are now.”

“I’m not,” she snips, because she isn’t, not at all. It’s just that Obi and Od Ana exchanged one of those glances of theirs before they left, the kind that came just before a blizzard blew down from the mountains, or before adopted brothers climbed up a balcony to steal her away to the mountains. The kind that said trouble was coming, and they’d have to put themselves right in its path.

Not that she’s been turning that over in her head all afternoon. She hasn’t. It’s just been there, tugging at her thoughts the same way Perkunas tugs at her patience, siphoning off gulps of her attention until--

Well, until things boil over. Which she’s half tempted to do as well, if Perkunas can’t leave her hem alone. “Oh, honestly,” she huffs, ducking down to glower at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be the wise one?”

He only stares back, all glossy eyes and innocence, as if one of his claws weren’t already caught around a stitch. If only she were Od Ana, she could click her beak right at him and let him know just how close he’s coming to her limit, and--

The lab door clanks against the shelves, her only warning before an all-too familiar voice calls out, “My Lady!”

It’s impossible to tell who cries “Obi!” first, but it’s Perkunas who trundles down the stairs so quick it yanks at their tether, hard enough that she hits a hip against the table trying to follow. She hobbles over to the top of the staircase just in time for his head to butt into Obi’s shin, and oh, she feels that all the way back in her mouth, molars jittering together with every descending step.

The hand that scritches behind Perkunas’s round little ears is thoughtless, a habit, but when Obi stops in front of her, smile stitched poorly into place, the space he leaves is purposeful. For a moment, she wishes he might reach for her, might catch her elbow in a palm, but instead he turns to a spooked Suzu and lilts, “Sorry about that. Mind if I whisk her away for a minute?”

“Uh?” Suzu glances between them, wide-eyed. “Go ahead.”

Hermia ruffles her feathers, all mouth when she adds, “Doubt we could stop you.”

It’s Od Ana’s place to click her beak, to drawl a clear, you got that right, but--

But she’s not here. And that, more than anything, makes her breath catch, makes her practically gasp out, “Lead the way.”

It’s strange to see Obi how the guards must, his back to the pillar and arms folded, all his usual warmth filed away for professionalism. Perkunas scampers after him, parking his round bottom right over one of his boots, and-- and it’s the sort of thing that might make her laugh, if he could meet her eyes.

“According to the messenger--” Obi’s voice echoes in the empty hall, a low, rasping thing made for grim conversations and even grimmer secrets “--the royal guard is sending a messenger to Sereg to basically put Mitsuhide under arrest.”

“That’s...” Her tongue plumbs the cavern of her mouth, suddenly strange with unfamiliar words. “That’s absurd. H-how? Why?”

One of his shoulders shrugs, the lazy sort he used to do back when he spent more time hanging down from trees than with his feet on the ground. From when she used to wonder if he had a daemon at all. “The decision is based on the testimony of this knight, Taws.”

And who is he? she wants to ask. How is his word worth so much more than a man like Mitsuhide’s?

All she manages is a strangled, “Mm.” Partially from the anger constricting her throat, and partially--

Ah, well, it’s distracting for Perkunas to paw at him like that, hopping around and bapping at his waist, enough that the wool scratches at her own hands. And when Obi bends down, scooping him up...

“Master didn’t mention any of it in his letter,” he grunts, arranging the chubby body over his shoulder. Perkunas trills, the round dome of his head bonking into Obi’s jaw once, twice, before he figures out how to fit beneath it, like a child who had long outgrown a lap but is loath to admit it. “So I guess he probably hasn’t heard. Yet.”

Shirayuki smooths a palm over her waist; it does nothing for the phantom press there, nor the one just behind her thigh, but, well, it’s hardly unpleasant. “Ah...”

His gaze meets hers over Perkunas’ head, and oh, it would be nice if she could fit as neatly, if only so she might be held when he says, “I’d better look into it.”

Perkunas grunts, annoyed. “Why?”

Obi’s mouth pulls thin. “Because I know for a fact what kind of person Mitsuhide is.”

That steadies her, makes her knees feel more solid than commissary jelly. “Yeah,” she breathes, giving her head a stiff nod. “So do I.”

“What about us?” Perkunas whines, wiggling in his arms. “Do you think they might come after us?”

Obi’s grip stiffens, eyes pulsing wide.

“I won’t let that happen,” he promises, pulling Perkunas closer. He gets another head butt for his troubles. “You just stay here in Lilias, the both of you.”

“But--”

“Okay.” It’s a betrayed look her daemon turns to her, his clownish face rumpled in a grimace, but she just stares at him, serious. “We’ll stay put, if that’s what will help.”

Obi lets out a sigh, his whole body slumping down the pillar in relief, Perkunas cradled tight against his chest. “Yeah, it sure will.”

His head lifts, and Perkunas wiggles again, squirming until his back half plops on the the ground, front paws still clinging to Obi’s shoulders. “Anyway, you little sausage,” he laughs, scrubbing him behind the ears. “If they were gonna threaten Master through you, it wouldn’t make sense to go round about it like this. No--” his brows tilt, thoughtful “--they’re after him and the aides. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t like it.” It’s so easy for Perkunas to say those things, to play the petulant child when he’s all clumsy cuddles and funny faces. If she tried-- well, there’s a reason she doesn’t. “Couldn’t you just tell them...?”

“Nah, they’ve got enough on their plate. This is my job.” Obi presses his head to his, serious as he says, “So I gotta do it.”

Perkunas sits back, arms hanging sulkily over his belly. “All right,” he whuffs, put out. “If you gotta.”

“That’s the thing,” Obi says, smile too tight. “I really, really do.”

It’s easy to keep her head when it’s all just...logistics. Shikito still has to arrive from Wistal, and Obi has a handful of leads he can chase all from the leisure of his desk. Permissions to seek as well, not the least from Makiri, who won’t be happy to see one of his most experienced guards snatched out from under him right before inspections. The more she doesn’t think about dates or times, the further it seems, like that lunch she keeps promising Izuru or Suzu’s thesis defense.

But when he leaves her in that hall by herself, begging off to go send off a few notes before dinner, it’s--

It’s real. Too real. And much, much too close.

There’s a fluttering by the window, a golden shape taking form on the sill, and all it has to say is, “Shirayuki,” and--

And that’s enough. Her eyes blur, and with a single step she buries her face into Od Ana’s breast.

“I’m not crying,” she tells her, because she can’t be if feathers catch the tears before they ever fall. “It will all be fine. I know it will be.”

“Of course,” Od Ana agrees, beak nuzzling at her hair. “It can’t be anything else.”

And oh, how nice that would be, if only either of them believed it.