#oh yeah mike is like. super fucking pissed but is also dealing with his own mortality but also he wants to keep oliver under his thumb

[blackstarchanx3new]

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 11

Pages 301-330

Again thanks to @akdrawsandwrites for helping with some of these pages, I can't remember which but I recognize a few of them as theirs. X'D They did a great job lining and coloring a few of these. Apricate it immensely.

We hitting end game what I have page wise guys.

Thanks for baring with my nonsense. I hope to finish the FNAF 1 arc. But I will post the other side comics and long winded explanations of those. X'D Hope you've enjoyed Creations so far! It was a labor of love because I love FNAF. A lot...

Can I just say I like Freddy and Mike's dynamic.

I like Freddy a lot in Creations because he's like, so NOT fannon Freddy in all the ways that hits me in the "Aww yeah that's good shit" way. X'D

He's a flamboyant full of gender slut that is scared of ghosts despite BEING A POSSESSED ROBOT lmfao. His design just hits my brain in a nice way too. He's so cute.

He gives sassy drag queen vibes and I like him.

I am not really a fan of fannon Freddy unless it's like super specific circumstances.

I'm going to dip into "I hate this trope" territory but keep in mind you are not obligated to write around my preferences. Or even force yours to fit mine. That'd be dumb. Write what makes you happy I'm just talking about shit I don't enjoy personally.

Bitch mode activated:

If you're going with him being possessed by a child, which a LOT of people do to stay cannon it makes ZERO sense for him to be a sensible leader type unless you like GIVE HIM A REASON? Which most people don't. Most people also make him a bitch which I hate.(And not in a campy gay bitch way like Creations Freddy that makes the queer part of me laugh and relate to) I'm not sure I understand the idea of making Freddy so damn unlikable in a story based on the franchise ABOUT HIM??? Like...It's so fucking overdone I'm sorry lmfao be a bit more damn creative. Don't be lazy? Give him a damn personality outside of "Cunt for no reason with a stick up his ass" like? Idk? Be FUN with him! Does he feel the NEED to be the leader because he's designed that way by the company? Does the stress EAT at him? If you DO go the route of making him posessed by a child: Did he feel the need to grow up and act more adult. How often does he fail at this task? What are the consequences? People's bad writing makes me think of reasons for him that aren't in the text 99% of the damn time. Quite frankly: I am not a fan of popular fnaf comics. Like any of them. X'D They feel really soul-less a lot of the time in a way I can't quite describe...

A lot of the creators hate working on them, hate their fanbase and hate the games past a certain point so that's probs why lmfao. I've gotten pissed at the fans on Webtoon, and gotten pissed at how much of a slog some scenes and I've considered quitting once or twice, but never cause I hated the actual games, or the comic and story of Creations, just cause some scenes are annoying to work on from a writer's perspective or cause people misinterpreted the story so bad they had no clue what was going on. I fucking love FNAF and wanted to make a fan story that you could tell came from a place of love.

Here's some pitfalls to avoid:

Don't start hating your own characters. It will hurt your writing. I've noticed LOTS of FNAF comic makers start to hate their own damn characters. PUT. THE. COMIC. DOWN. I AM SERIOUS.

If you start to despise your own work. STOP. TAKE A BREAK. REFELCT. Maybe it won't be PERMINENT but until you can sort out what your deal is STOP.

You are doing NO ONE favors by continuing to the point you start actively shit talking everyone and everything that comes into contact with this story that way.

If you noticed: I STARTED FALLING INTO THAT SHIT. OH GOD BLACKSTAR HAS FLAWS! O.O

Me doing THIS, talking about how I love my own comic appreciating how much time and work I put into it: all the goofy fun stuff I put in as easter eggs the characters ex, was a way to reinvent my feelings towards this comic because I WANT TO FINISH IT and it's helped a lot. FIND JOY IN THE PROCESS OF CREATION. ;)

If you aren't liking FNAF as much as you used too: Literally just go back and watch smth you liked about it before. The ruin DLC sparked my shit back into gear, watching old lets plays and listening to fan music also helped. Just. Idk. Engage with the thing you're making a damn comic about? Like, find out what you loved to begin with.

I have like 4+ comics I work on in rotation when I'm not in the mood to work on one. Variety helps me too.

Another thing I'd advise against: Don't make a big diaper baby blow out scene about "Leaving" a fanbase. It's fucking embarrassing. If you don't feel the spark, you don't feel it. That's FINE. As an autistic person: My interests change like a girl changes clothes.

But don't literally shit your pants and make a scene about it people will look back at you as the person who shat their pants in front of everyone and embarrassed themselves.

If you're asking yourself "Is star talking about X artist?" honey I'm talking about at least 4 different ones I've seen do this exact thing and I got second hand embarrassment every time. If you resent the popularity you got from certain fanbases: I'm sorry the best thing to do is move on. Yes. Again I speak from experience. (Not FNAF, but a different fanbase)

If you don't get as much recognition on your OG works: Tough shit I'm sorry that's how it is. As someone who does OC comics I've accepted "Some people just won't read this cause FNAF isn't attached, and that's okay. I am the same way. You cannot expect people to love everything you create"

As a child/teen, watching actual adults do this shit made me the person I am today but deciding: "Nah that's dumb, I am getting second hand embarrassment and I am not behaving that way"

Childishness is something big artists need to learn is a problem before they get big. Temper tantrums aren't a cute look for anyone.

It's okay to get in over your head with shit. Just try to be calm about things here's things that overtime I've learned help me cope with huge projects:

They're meant to be fun. If you aren't having fun: Figure out why and change it. You aren't obligated to finish them. You can always come back. Another reason to not "shit your pants" as I call it. People will love to see more from your comic if you put it down and come back. :) It's more embarrassing to shit your pants and then come back like you never did and try to keep going. Keep doors open if you would. My "Shit your pants" moment singlehandedly keeps me away from one fandom lmfao avoid it if you can. Try not to be a cunt about the thing that GOT you popular. You will look like a class act clown I guarantee it. If people don't understand your comic and that is causing frustration, I genuinely advise making a "Director's commentary" style thing like this. It's a lot of fun. X'D And it might give people perspective into your madness.

This doesn't help if you're just a control freak tho lmfao.

Anyways, enough of my blabbing about my history watching old fandom artists assassinate their own characters for all to see in the most embarrassing and violent fashion, and how that irreversibly changed me as a person, back to the actual damn comic.

Interrupted. He has no respect for Mike.

So Freddy describes typical haunting behavior for ghosts. Smells and SOME people are spiritually inclined while some aren't. As we've seen Mike for example can't see ghosts unless they WANT him to see them.

Sammy apparently can see ghosts and is considered "Insane" we can kiiiinda see why from earlier. X'D

It's safe to say Mike took that personally.

Awkward.

Default to insults Freddy, it's okay we understand you're perfect- Freddy you stupid idiot you should have kept your mouth shut it's not nice to call mentally ill people "Freaks".

Mike REASONABLY asks if the ghosts are REAL and considering we know 1 is for certain Sammy's not "Bonkers" according to Freddy.

Freddy just showing off his personality like usual.

Freddy he can't make eye contact. HE'S AUTISTIC.

Anyways even Freddy's noticed Sammy's eyes are weird.

Okay funny thing: Freddy was going to make a dick sucking joke but none I came up with were very funny.

If I remember right one was smth like "You always sound like you just choked on a dick" or something like that??? Something this vulgar makes sense from Creations Freddy but I decided to tone it back a little. X'D I also felt it was very mean.

Freddy's mean enough as it is lmfao.

Freddy stop sexualizing the night guard-

Uh oh-

Your daily reminder Mike is short-

Freddy is the worst. But I love him.

Chica giving sass for that. She doesn't apear much but I like her.

Foxy got thanos snapped lmfao I had no idea what to do with him in this comic ngl. X'DDDDDDD

Maybe he'll show up later...Maybe.

He showed up in the OG shitpost version of this comic and Bonnie sold him out for cigarettes.

Our boys meet up once again. :)

Michael couldn't see him the previous day for whatever reason.

PFF. JUST LIKE AN ANIME MAN!

Also Mike that's harassment...

Lmfao. I don't remember exactly when I decided Mike was trans but I know it was FAILRY early on. Not there were many references to it.

The fact color wise: he's a walking pride flag is kinda a clue I suppose. X'D

Oh mah goodness. Oh my damn. It's the other Freddy.

HAHA OH WHAT MIKE?

Well shit there's a TON of victims then.

Bonnie. Your buddy is a murderer-

Hehehe yeah but you're also a short king buddy-

Hahaha. So this thing eats children nice to know.

Mike being a smart boy like usual.

Hehe. Face plates. :)

Mike doesn't wanna be around this thing, and I can't blame him. Also I find it genuinely hilarious how half the panels in some of these pages are drawn by me, and half are drawn by AK.

We get into pages I can't be bothered to color the remaining pages are colored kinda randomly. Funtime Freddy as you can probebly tell is ANNOYING to color. He has SO MANY COLORS it got very overwhelming trying to color him. I'm sorry but that's how it is lmfao. X'D I wanna be done with the FNAF 1 arc:

Cool thing tho, if I ever want to color em the characters are white so I can just slap a multiply layer on and go brrrr with color.

Anyways, they both decide to leave at the same time.

I'm sure nothing will come of this. :)

Hehehhehehe he knows something....

OH GOD.

Oh fuck. Mike got vored.

I'm sorry I have to make this joke, vore is terrible and I hate it I've made that very well known and joking about how much I despise it is how I cope.

Having said that: I love the stomach hatch idea/being trapped inside an animatronic.

It's like the Springlock mechanic taken to the next level lmfao. Complete and utter hopelessness on the end of the person inside, claustrophobia, IMANENT DEATH, IT'S HORRIFYING AND I LOVE IT. >:)

A+ Horror idea.

OBVIOUSLY: this is based on COUNT THE WAYS from the 1st Fazbear's Fright novels.

Can I just say, Luring and trapping people this way is so fucking creative I LOVE THE SL ROBOTS. Like, it's just so cool of an idea because it already kinda plays off the idea from FNAF 1 that there's children STUFFED inside the FNAF 1 robots. (As a way to hide them)

but SL robots do that, but TRANSPORT said children/use their chambers to KILL said children and harvest remnant. THAT IS SO DARKLY AWESOME.

IK we're all hyping up the MIMIC and it's ability to copy people's voices but uh: FUNTIME FOXY DID THAT SHIT FIRST FROM THEIR BLUEPRINTS.

I'm sad to this DAY people don't use Funtime Foxy's voice mimic mechanic in fan content. THAT'S AWESOME.

I like the trap mechanic and how it's used again for the twisted ones. It's such a great idea to make a robot that's friendly on the outside but is basically a fucking iron maiden on the inside. Like DAMN. THAT GOES SO HARD!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! :D

Also all the short jokes have a purpose: Mike's small enough to fit inside Funtime Freddy. Because he's built to capture kids.

Something I worry about with Funtime Freddy:

He is a FAN FAVORITE In Creations. Like. People like him. A LOT.

I made a lot of side comics with him and Bon Bon. Where Bon Bon is his emotional support bunny rabbit. People really liked that. Because Funtime Freddy was showing relatable autistic behavior (He struggles with shit I do lmao.)

I'm worried about 'Ruining' his character for people hah.

He's a butt-

GUESS WHO GOT RE-ENVIGORATED TO DRAW PAGES.

Me. After the movie.

Mike's having a harder time keeping his composure.

I feel like the reason is obvious: SL robots are literally only built to kill people, he's in the most dangerous part of the building, and Funtime Freddy's a wacko.

Haha. Word play. Funtime Freddy did not detect the albeit minimal exaggeration in what Bonnie said. Poor dude.

Haha will to live.

Funtime Freddy's out for blood.

More confirmation who our villain is.

So if you're not a Creations AU veteran, Funtime Freddy is just easily swayed by someone calming him down.

Mike's pretty good at faking shit.

Bon Bon isn't here rn, so Mike's taking on the role of "Calm the giant anxious bear down"

WE HAVE ALSO REACHED IMAGE CAP. SO WE WILL CAAAAARRYYYY OOOOOON-

Ending note: watched the FNAF movie again last night.

[poisonintopositivity]

(My Very Own) Top 20 Sterek Fics

Here is my very own Top 20 Sterek Fics (out of order)

For me, these fanfictions are a “MUST READ NOW!!!” kind of deal. These authors have so much talent, it’s incredible. These stories are just marvelous and deserve LOVE ! So, I decided to share them with you.

I’ve read most of these fics several times and some of them are even my bedside table books (with Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azcaban and Jane Eyre)

So here we go!

1:  Enemy Lines by @qhuinn -  150k - Explicit - Dystopia - Enemies to friends to lovers - Action/adventure

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

2:  Actions Speak Louder than Words by @isthatbloodonhisshirt - 435k - Explicit - The BEST and slowest burn there is - Spark Stiles/Mute Derek - Friends to Lovers

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.”

That was a bad word. Not found.

Have.

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment.

One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

3: Radio Tower by @hyperlittlenori - 130k - Explicit - Dystopia - Hope - Slow Burn/Build 

Everything was different. The world he knew was gone. It’d been a long time since he’d started thinking he was probably one of the last humans on earth, that out there the only sentient beings were those that would devour him whole. He wasn’t sure why he continued with the radio broadcasts, continued to talk into nothingness. The only explanation was that there was a spark of hope in him yet that he wasn’t alone. The lonely safety Stiles has built around an old radio tower in the middle of nowhere is about to be broken. Stiles isn’t sure if Derek is a harbinger of chaos or hope at the end of the world. 

4:  The Hollow Moon by @thepsychicclam - 180k - Explicit - Fix-It - Memory Loss - Slow Burn/Build

It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

5 :  Amor Fati by @alocalband  - 43k - Explicit - Consent is sexy - First Time - Fluff & Angst

When Stiles gets thrown into the bank vault about twenty minutes after him, Derek isn’t even surprised.As it turns out, neither is Stiles.

6 :  (not so) Pure Imagination by theroguesgambit - 33k - Explicit - Shared fantasies - Angst with a happy ending - hotdamn! 

"There is a world where whenever someone fantasizes about you, you can physically feel it, but you have no idea who is thinking it about you."

Stiles knows it's wrong, but he's been Fantasizing about Derek and he can't bring himself to stop. Derek doesn't know who's taken an interest in him, but he's enjoying it way more than he probably should.

7: What I Did On My Summer Vacation by grimm - 119k - Explicit - Wolf!Derek - Slow Burn/Build - Friends to Lovers

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

8:  Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by @devildoll - 77k - Explicit - Captivity - Feral!Derek - Angst with a happy ending

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

9 :  What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt - 196k - Explicit - Soulmate - Slow Burn - Misunderstandings 

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

10 :  taste your beating heart by @cinematicnomad​ - 112k - Mature - Pack Dynamics - Slow Burn/Build - Stilinski Family Feels

Something was wrong in Beacon Hills. Derek was halfway across the country when he felt a call to return to his hometown, and somehow Stiles had been talked into letting the werewolf stay in his guest bedroom. This could lead to nothing good.

11 :  between the click of the light and the start of the dream by @thepsychicclam 105k - Explicit - Pack Dynamics - Getting Togheter - Fluff & Angst

A twig snaps, and then Stiles hears breathing and the rustle of leaves. He strains to get a better glimpse into the darkness, but it’s pointless. There’s nothing but a black void.

It's Stiles' senior year, and he's trying to concentrate on normal things - like the lacrosse championship, spring break, prom, graduation (and definitely not Derek) - when he starts having nightmares and waking up in the middle of nowhere. Oh yeah, and he's being haunted by a hag. Great.

12:  And You Say You're Alone by taelynhawker - 30k - Explicit - Pack Dynamincs - Bad Friend Scott - Romance

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

13:  Trust Fall by Stoney - 144k - Explicit - Body Swap - Hurt/Confort - Slow Burn/Build

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.

****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

14:  Gravity's Got Nothing on You by @zosofi - 84k - Explicit - Fake/Pretend Boyfriends - Humor - Romance

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

15:  Every Step You Take by @nokomiss - 49k - Mature - Magic - UST - Secret Feelings

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

16:  Baking My Way Into Your Heart by theSilence - 179k - Mature - College AU/Coffee Shop AU - Slow Burn/Build - Friends to Lovers

Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.

17:  Windows by @drgrlfriend - 83k - Explicit - Blind!Stiles - Friends to Lovers - Found Families 

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

18 :  Just to See You Again by MellytheHun (@loserchildhotpants​) - 15k - Explicit - Love Letters - Getting Together - College AU 

A sterek college!AU where writing student Stiles specializes in love letters, runs a blog about it and can be commissioned to write love letters on behalf of lovers who are at a loss for words.

He makes some cash, he’s good at what he does (especially when he gets to be a little more explicit in his letters), it pays for his textbooks and that’s all he’s really looking for and life is fine. That is, until someone anonymously commissions him to write a love letter to mathematics student, Derek Hale.

19:  Chasing Slumber by @hyperlittlenori - 21k - Explicit - Post-Nogitsune - Porn With Feelings - Fix it

Stiles finds solitude and a glimpse at recovering from his ordeal with the Nogitsune in a dingy motel far from Beacon Hills. Inhuman blue eyes follow his silent struggles in the darkness of the room and he can no longer pretend to sleep, pretend he hasn’t been profoundly changed by all that has happened. He can only let his fingers stretch out across threadbare but clean sheets and clench around them, in a failed attempt at not reaching for Derek.

20 :  the thread is ripping by @thepsychicclam - 36k - Explicit - Pinning - Angst with a happy ending - Flashbacks

Stiles is 27 now, with a master’s degree and a career and a house and a serious boyfriend and a life in San Francisco that doesn't include Derek. But then Stiles unexpectedly shows back up in Beacon Hills, and Derek would recognize that scent anywhere.

If you are interested, feel free to check out my Sterek Fic Recs Collections on A03.

On this lovely note, happy reading guys!

[deadparrish]

richie tozier stand-up routine

hey! thanks for showing up everyone! so as you all know i took a little bit of a break. well, by break i mean i had a breakdown, forgot my whole scripted routine on stage, and then disappeared off the face of the earth for a month. what can i say! shit happens!

well, actually what happened is that i got a call from one of my childhood best friends which brought up a whole bunch of repressed childhood trauma and was forced- and i’m really not exaggerating here, forced to return to my hometown that i’ve been avoiding for 27 years. now, i’m not gonna say the name of this town, but i will say that it’s the worst fucking town in the world. like, it’s a place that people go to to die. and not even in, like, a relaxing way, like florida. no, you go there and you get, like, your fucking arm ripped off by a weird fucking clown and you die from blood loss. no, i’m serious! that happened to my friends little brother!

anyway, i go back home to, like, fulfill a promise that i made via blood oath when i was 12, during like, the height of the aids epidemic, so it’s a big fucking deal, right. and i’m there in this fucking sushi place, and i’m suddenly face to face with my friend who i’ve been, like, in love with my whole life. so i get as drunk as fucking possible, because i’m an adult, right, and that’s how adults deal with their problems. they get roaring drunk and then they, like, manufacture some stupid reason to arm wrestle so they can hold hands with the object of their 27-year-long crush. NOT saying that i did that. but i will say that this fucker has super soft hands. like, imagine you’ve never done a days work in your life, and also you’re, like, really weird about germs and taking care of yourself, so you use a lot of germ ex and AFTER that you use a lot of lotion. probably lavender scented with, like, aloe vera. 

whatever, not the point. so i’m face to face with the dude that i’ve been in love with since i was 12 and in denial that i was gay- oh yeah, by the way everyone, i’m gay- woah, okay, that’s a lot of cheering, okay. calm down gays- haha, anyway. i’m face to face with this dude, and trying to not like. lose my gay mind. and i’m VERY determined at this point to just, like, get through this visit back home without like. totally revealing all of my gay feelings, so i can come back to chicago and be gay and sad in the comfort of my own gay home. did i mention i was gay? sorry, it just feels fucking good to say. 

anyway, i’m trying to get through this visit without totally losing my mind, and some of you might be wondering, why are you even back in your hometown meeting with your best friends from childhood? good question! it’s a long story, but it basically boils down to the six of us- there used to be seven, but stan, he- he couldn’t make it, so the six of us have to defeat this demon clown entity that came down from space and has been terrorizing and eating people for, like, a billion years. like, imagine every negative human emotion in existence, put all of those emotions into a demon with a huge forehead, and you have this clown. no, guys, i’m serious! this clown is fucking crazy, and also, like, super homophobic.

so the six of us are there, and my friend mike is like oh, we all have to go into the sewers to It’s lair- and that’s capital I, It’s, folks- so we can kill It. and like, we did the same shit when we were 12, but it’s a little bit crazier now that we’re all 40. i have a receding hairline, bill is fucking bald, and ben- well, bens hot as fuck. point is though, that we’re all like, mike, what the fuck? but we go down there and we do this fucking native american ritual to try to trap the clown, which of course doesn’t work because none of us are fucking native american, and then there’s this huge fucking, like, battle, and then eddie gets fucking impaled by this thing, and i just- sorry, it was just so fucking scary. 

i’ve been in love with this dude for over 27 years, and i’m holding him in my arms and he’s bleeding everywhere and i’m like fuck, fuck, i never fucking told him, and he’s like, richie, and he says it in the softest voice ever and he’s looking at me and i’m like oh my god, this is the worst time to have a fucking gay freak out, but what if he says he loves me? so i’m there like, trying to stop his fucking gut from bleeding, and he’s looking at me and i’m looking at him and, quite frankly, i’ve never felt gayer in my life- must have been the atmosphere, dark ass sewers really bring out the pride in me- and you know what he says? i fucked your mother. i swear to god- stop laughing! i couldn’t believe it! i’m the famous comedian and this dude just said that when he’s fucking bleeding out. i love him so much.

anyway, we managed to defeat the clown by bullying it to death, which is how all clowns are killed, i guess, and i got ben to help carry eddie up to the surface- ben is so strong, guys, he’s like, fit. and we got eddie to the hospital and he lived. and then it was like, oh my god, i can’t let him get better and then go back to new york without like, telling him that i love him, right? and honestly, i would have rather faced the demon clown again. 

so i’m in his hospital room, and he’s awake and pissed, because he’s been there, like, a week, and he’s bitching about the cleanliness of hospitals, and he’s like, do you know how many fucking germs there are on a doorknob, and then he’s talking about how much his cheek hurts- oh yeah, i guess i forgot to mention, this dude who bullied us when we were kids broke out of a mental institution and stabbed him in the face. don’t worry though, i axed him. it’s not important. anyway, he’s like, my cheek hurts and i don’t want to fucking be here anymore, and i’m just staring at him like an idiot, and he’s like what the fuck, richie, don’t just stare at me, you dick, and i cut him off and tell him i love him. no build up, no framing it as a joke so i can play it off. just a wide-eyed lovesick confession. 

and i freeze, and he freezes, and we just stare at each other for a few minutes like idiots. and he just asks, all quiet and perfect, really? and i’m like dude, i’ve BEEN in love with you, and i start spilling my guts, and then next thing i know he’s trying to get OUT of the hospital bed, and i’m like eddie, what the fuck, and i move to push him down, and he grabs my shirt and pulls me into bed on top of him, and let me tell you all, i exerted more energy trying to make sure i didn’t collapse on his stomach wound than i ever have at the gym, ever. and at this point i’m truly freaking out, but it’s like, a good freak out, you know? i’m like, okay, he probably wouldn’t have pulled me on top of him if he didn’t like me. he probably likes me. but what if he doesn’t? so i’m like, eds- and he. he kisses me. yeah, i know, i could cheer, too.

so we kiss, and then he pushes me so i’m laying next to him, and then he starts bitching me out for confessing while he’s in the hospital, and couldn’t i wait until he got released, and i’m just- i know i was staring at him like an idiot, like an absolute fool, and he grabs my hand and he’s like i love you too, moron, and i just say, oh.

anyway, he had to stay in the hospital for another week, and i have so many stories about how he terrorized the nurses, i could write so many fucking sketches, and then when he was released we went to new york and he divorced his wife- hell yeah!- and now he lives with me here in chicago. he’s in the audience, actually! hi, eds! anyway, that’s why i’ve been on a break. being gay is crazy.

[lavenderek]

I love when you fix twilight. It's obviously not fix-able completely, but you make it way better. What do you think about how she calls her parents by their first names?.

i think bella’s relationships with her parents are super weird and sometimes even unhealthy. 

some of the things i’m gonna say, i’ve already said before, and they are VERY VERY LONG, but i’m gonna say them again anyway and i’ve watched jenny nicholson videos for like three days straight, so i’m gonna do it in.... a numbered list!!!! 

seriously it’s super long don’t open the readmore unless you want to look at a super long post

1. bella calls them by their first names, but only in internal narration. 

most teenagers don’t call their parents by their first names, so this is odd and distances the reader from her. i’m not sure if it’s supposed to humanize her parents?

her parents would be humanized if they were acknowledged by the role they’re supposed to be playing in bella’s life; most of her readers would be seeing her as The Typical Teenage Girl, so having her parents be seen as entities separate from her who operate as peers instead of parents is bizarre. 

furthermore, she never does this in dialogue. she only does it in internal narration. 

so is this supposed to make her seem more mature and independent? bella isn’t independent; she’s provided with all her needs by her father, including emotional needs. when edward leaves her in the second book, her father takes care of her and ultimately considers having her go back to live with her mother again, because clearly bella is in need of some parental support. put a pin in maturity, i’ll get back to that in a second. 

if it’s not to make her seem more mature, then it’s just a weird stylistic choice so that the reader knows her parents’ names, which - why? i’m sure when chief swan is talking to his friend and his friend calls him charlie, we will understand through context clues that his name is charlie. also, us knowing her parents’ names doesn’t add anything to the story. bella treats every side character as an obstacle in her life, so we gain nothing from knowing her dad’s name. 

it makes sense for her to call her stepfather phil, but she should call her parents mom and dad. 

2. bella is “super mature” 

ouch! i pricked my finger on the pin i put in maturity. yowie!

we hear a lot about how mature bella is. she condescendingly tells us that her mother is stupid and describes her father’s inability to feed himself. is this true? 

her mother got married and has begun a life with her new husband. her father is a grown-ass man who has kept himself alive for what, forty years? they never do anything particularly immature except one time stephenie meyer has her dad accidentally microwave a can of soup at some point (has he never had soup? in the whole decade since he and renee got divorced, has he been soupless the entire time?). i don’t know that fucking up a can of soup is immature so much as a mistake, but go off i guess. 

so maybe she’s not more mature than her parents, but surely she is just mature in her own right. let’s see all the mature decisions bella makes just in the two years we are present for. 

bella gets a head injury in a car accident. she resists the advice she receives from a medical professional to rest, and plans on not telling her mother about it. she’s even pissed at her dad when he tells her mom. 

bella meets edward and senses from the jump that he’s lying to her. he gives her mixed signals that make her uncomfortable. he and many people in his life talk often about how he could kill her, how much he wants to kill her, but that he is holding back. she decides that she is safe based on her own feelings (she is objectively incorrect about this, by the way, regardless of how her story ends) and chooses to date him anyway.

bella catches the attention of a man who wants to kill her specifically. she does not tell her father. instead, she insults him and runs away from home. she then runs away from the people who are assigned to protect her, because she believes she knows better than they do. 

edward breaks up with bella. i think most people after the ending of a relationship would go to their room and cry and process those feelings of sadness and abandonment. but bella’s not like other girls. she’s mature and has deep emotions. she refuses to accept the breakup and spends hours wandering around in the woods, forcing everyone in her town to go around in the night looking for her. okay. 

she gets a part-time job at some point. but so does her classmate mike, and also 55% of teenagers in her age range (when the book is set, which is in the mid-to-late 90′s). 

oh, but wait, then she withdraws all her savings and uses them to purchase and fix up a motorcycle - a thing she is specifically not allowed to do - in order to spite her ex boyfriend. at this point she has abandoned her plans to become a vampire, so there’s no reason to assume she won’t be going to college in a couple years. with what savings will she be paying the tuition? i’m sure her school counselor will understand when she explains that she spent it all on a motorcycle. 

we are told bella is very mature and stephenie meyer clearly expects us to draw this conclusion based on how bella does her chores without being asked; but when it comes to major decisions about her safety, her future, and the effect she has on others, she repeatedly makes selfish and childish decisions. she hurts her parents, her friends, and herself, a lot. she does all of this based on her own intuition.

and actually, a lot of it tracks with her being a teenager. teenagers are not adults. they biologically do not yet have the full capacity for decision-making. that’s why they’re not adults. bella is not more mature than her parents and her belief that she is is demonstrably dangerous. she really needs more discipline in her life. 

3. bella and her mom

bella is very sad in the beginning of the book. she loves her mom and sees her mom as her best friend. 

she demonstrates her closeness by: 

lying to her mom that she wants to live with her dad, because she believes renee will be happier without bella, her supposed best friend. renee does not notice that bella has lied or question this decision. 

putting off emailing or calling her mom for several days, which makes renee angry. when she finally does, she basically just lists the things she’s done and logs off. 

refusing to share information with her, including that she was injured in a car accident, because she believes renee will be upset. her dad calls renee anyway, and bella is angry and is incredibly reluctant to call her back and talk to her. 

ignoring her emails for months when she’s sad over her breakup. 

visiting her exactly one time in the whole two years spanned in the books. her mom is also never invited to come visit bella in forks. 

renee’s absence from bella’s life actually works for the plot, as she can’t interfere with bella’s duplicity, while leaving the option to add an element of guilt from afar. but it doesn’t make sense as a character decision. 

i think it would make way more sense if bella and her mother aren’t close. bella wants her mom to show interest in her life. she suggested moving in with her dad in the hopes that her mom would be like, “no, honey, stay, i’ll miss you if you go,” but renee doesn’t even question it, she just books her a ticket. 

bella checks her email immediately when she arrives, and hasn’t heard from her mom, so she sends her an email herself, to which she gets a response like, two days later. 

bella calls her mom and gets her answering machine. renee is on her honeymoon and she and her new husband are in the process of moving to another state, so bella reasons that her mom is just busy; but she is also dealing with the knowledge that she’s just not a priority for her mom. 

yeah, this is very sad and makes renee seem like an asshole, but maybe she is an asshole in this version. it would neatly remove renee from the plot, it would explain why bella is so bummed about living with her dad, and it would lay the groundwork for why bella is so gutted when she perceives edward breaking up with her as being abandoned. bella believes she is not worth staying for. 

4. bella and her dad

i don’t even know where to start with bella and her dad. he seems great to me. 

he is the chief of police.

he knows and is respected by everyone in town.

he has friends and hobbies. 

as i said before, he has fed and clothed himself his whole life - at the very least in the decade since his divorce.

...so he seems like a reasonable person and member of the community. 

he treats bella with respect and offers her privacy, but he is always available when she needs help.

he notices and tries to intervene when she’s struggling. 

he has an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and they communicate about their daughter regularly. 

he bought bella a truck and put chains on the tires so that it would be safe for her even when it’s cold and wet out. 

...so he’s clearly an involved and caring father. 

bella goes through a serious depressive episode in new moon after her breakup with edward, and her dad responds to every bit of it. 

he wants to find out why she is upset. 

he is aware of how she’s doing in school and whether or not she’s seeing her friends. 

when bella has night terrors, he jumps out of bed to comfort her. 

when jacob deliberately lashes out at her and triggers another depressive episode, he immediately steps in and calls jake’s dad. 

he is told bella is at fault, but he takes bella’s side and chooses to believe her side of the story. 

throughout her depression, he never once judges her for it. 

after what he perceives to be edward hurting bella and being a bad boyfriend (which - he is observably not wrong about that), bella’s dad is openly against bella dating him again. 

...so he cares for and advocates for bella’s emotional state. 

if bella expresses gratitude or appreciation for any of these things, it’s sort of bitter and backhanded, like “at least charlie leaves me alone.” he fucked up trying to make dinner one time, to which she responds by refusing to let him cook ever again. bella dates edward twice before eclipse, and both times she went missing and then came back injured; so chief swan tells her he doesn’t think she should be dating edward again, at which point she puts down ultimatums and threatens to leave. bella ignores his rules and requests, keeps secrets from him, and runs away from home a few times because she believes she knows better than he does. 

no matter how many times charlie proves himself, it never changes bella’s opinion of him. there’s no arc there. bella arrives thinking her father is incompetent, and she leaves thinking her father is incompetent. 

making bella disrespect her father does benefit the narrative by enabling her to be secretive and makes her feel even more isolated in her experiences. it also makes stephanie have to write about less characters. but bella being secretive and isolated just results in her being stuck in the same situation for like 75% of each book. i think it would make sense for her to want to fix things, even just a little bit. 

there’s no reason for her to disrespect charlie, so her unfounded feelings of disdain toward him are confusing and just make her look like a dick; and furthermore, not giving him a character arc just makes him a boring obstacle. he might as well just be a door that gets stuck shut whenever it rains. 

i think it would be a better idea, for character development, for bella to grow closer to her father over the course of her stay with him. i would like, at least two of the times bella disobeys him, for her to ultimately conclude that he was right and she shouldn’t have done the thing. i would like her to eventually open up to him about some things. 

she doesn’t have to share that the cullens are vampires, but of all the people in her life, who has experience with having a romantic partner with whom he envisioned a future break up with and leave them? it would make sense for her to confide in him - or at the very least, seek comfort from him. 

bella trusting her father’s judgment and showing caution dating edward again after the events of new moon would also be better for the story, and i have more thoughts about that but that’s for another post. 

and probably biggest of all, your only tenuous link to emotional acceptance and fulfillment should not be your romantic partner. that’s so weird and unhealthy. bella is a teenager who, in general throughout the books, feels unmoored and stressed out. she needs someone sturdy and reliable who she can trust to protect her, even if it’s only emotionally. this would also give bella someone to bounce her thoughts and feelings off of and reduce the monotony of the narration a little bit. 

her father is an excellent choice for that. he repeatedly demonstrates that he is in her corner, and her corner alone. (i also think vampires should be just a little bit easier to kill, so that chief swan can protect her just a tiny bit.) 

5. why

stephenie meyer has children herself and it’s so weird to me that she would write a teenager deliberately disobeying and lying to her parents and consequently placing herself and many other people in grave danger, and framing it as a good thing. she makes it clear that bella was correct in doing this. 

bella’s not the only one, either. edward allegedly sees carlisle as his father figure, but A. this was not consensual, and he is frequently unhappy that carlisle bit him and made him a vampire; and B. he often disregards or gets angry about carlisle’s advice. 

wouldn’t stephenie meyer want to know if her son was hurting, or in danger? wouldn’t she want her son to respect her? wouldn’t she want to be able to share her wisdom and help her son make safe choices?

she does make it clear in interviews that this is pretend and she doesn’t believe readers should be seeing her characters as role models; but she made her characters teenagers on purpose, and it strikes me as kind of irresponsible to act as if she assumes her young readers won’t try to identify with them. 

bella’s relationships with her parents are boring and unusual, and the older i get the more frustrating they are. they stifle the characters and make the plot repetitive and tiresome. these are relatively small changes that i think would benefit the story overall. and that’s my opinion, thanks guys

[klaineanummel]

looking for something that’ll (never) come 3/6

Blaine Anderson-Chang knows that his crush on his brother’s best friend, straight football star Kurt Hummel, is foolhardy. But every now and then Kurt gives him a look and Blaine can’t help but wonder.

welcome to the halfway point!! the m rating really kicks in this chapter ;) hope you enjoy!!

ps small warning that sebastian doesn’t come across super great here. he’s not meant to, but he’s also not meant to be like, ~the worst or anything. just a stupid teenage boy. 

Sebastian drops him off at his house, leaning across the seat and pressing a soft, lingering kiss to Blaine’s lips when they arrive.

“Text me, okay? I’d love to see you again.”

Blaine nods, smiling a little wider than he really wants to. “Thanks,” he says, then steps out of the car and gives Sebastian a final wave before heading up the driveway to his front door.

It’s only once he’s at the front door, key pulled out, turning around for a final look at Sebastian’s car, that he notices the Escalade parked out front.

“Crap,” he mutters, closing his eyes momentarily. He forces himself to smile, though, and gives Sebastian one last wave before his car starts to move away, pulling out from behind Kurt’s car.

He turns back toward the door and closes his eyes again, taking in a deep breath. Then, he forces himself to push in the key and turn it, opening the door.

The very first thing he does upon arriving is check his appearance in the hallway mirror. His hair is a little out of order, but not as much as he was worried it would be, and his cheeks are a little red, but otherwise he thinks he looks fairly normal.

Or at least not like he just went down on a guy for the first time in his life.

He calls out, “I’m home!” as he switches from his outdoor to his indoor shoes.

Surprisingly, the only response comes from Mike, who shouts, “Bedroom!”

Blaine frowns and heads upstairs, turning right instead of his usual left to make his way to Mike’s bedroom at the end of the hall. He knocks on the door lightly, then opens it, peeking in.

“Hey,” he says, eyes settling on Mike and Kurt, both lying on their stomachs on the floor, a video game controller in each of their hands. “Uh, where are Moms?”

“Mama P was freaking out a little,” Mike says, eyes glued to the screen. “So Mama J decided they should have a date of their own to get her mind off it. They’ve been gone for a few hours now.”

“Oh,” Blaine presses his lips together, not sure if he should feel bad about that or not.

He glances at Kurt, who is also staring at the TV steadfast, as though Blaine wasn’t even there.

That is, of course, until Mike pauses the game, causing Kurt to let out a loud, “Hey, whoa, what the hell man?!”

“Shut up,” Mike tells him. “So?” This is directed at Blaine, as he shifts to sit up on the floor, eyes wide and a huge smile on his face. “How was it?”

Blaine shrugs, stepping a little further into the room. He looks over at Kurt, who is glaring at Mike and still very much not making eye contact with Blaine.

“It was good,” he says, turning his eyes to Mike.

Mike scowls at him. “Just good?”

Blaine shrugs again. “I don’t know. We got coffee and then he took me to this park he likes,” he can feel his cheeks heating up at the thought of that, and he licks over his front teeth self-consciously. “He was nice. Like, I liked him. I don’t know.”

“You sound real enthusiastic about it,” Kurt finally says, probably the first words he’s said to Blaine in days.

Blaine swallows thickly. “Well, I don’t know. I guess I’m still processing it all.”

“Hey,” Mike stands up, a frown taking over his face. “Did something happen?”

“What?” Blaine instantly shakes his head. “No. What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, he didn’t… take advantage of your or anything, did he?”

Blaine licks his lips, shaking his head again. “Of course not. He just…” he presses his lips together tightly. “Never mind.”

“Hey, whoa, come on,” Mike reaches out to place a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “You can tell me. Seriously. Did he, like…?”

“No, Mike, stop,” Blaine rolls his eyes. “I’m not some little whimpering flower whose virtue you have to protect or anything, okay?” He shakes his brother’s hand off his shoulder. “It was just…” he glances back to see Kurt looking up at him, eyebrows raised high, not really looking annoyed but also nowhere near happy. He can’t really explain the emotion that seems to be written across Kurt’s face at the moment.

Blaine takes a deep breath, then quietly and quickly says, “I got him off, but he didn’t do the same for me.”

Mike and Kurt say, “What?” at the exact same time, though their inflection is completely different. Mike’s is confused, eyebrows furrowing as he leans forward as though he didn’t quiet hear Blaine correctly. Kurt, on the other hand, sounds like he can’t believe what he just heard. He jumps to his feet quickly closing the distance between him and the Anderson-Chang brothers instantly.

“What the hell do you mean he didn’t do the same for you?” Kurt asks, eyes narrowed. “Like he just… got his and was like, okay, let’s go home?”

Blaine shrugs. “I don’t… Yeah?”

“Wait, what?” Mike still sounds confused.

“Oh, fuck no,” Kurt says before Blaine can clarify to Mike. “No, what the hell? Who the fuck does this guy think he is?”

“I mean, I didn’t exactly ask him to return the favor or anything,” Blaine says. “And like, he was kind of out of it after I finished? I think he was just tired, and he still had to drive me and himself home, so I don’t know.”

Kurt shakes his head, clearly pissed off. “Can’t believe it,” he mutters. “You know, some guys are real pieces of shit.”

“Whoa, Kurt,” Mike says, staring at his friend in shock.

“Don’t even start with me, Mike,” Kurt says, waving a dismissive hand. “As if you would ever let Mercedes go down on you without immediately returning the favor.”

It’s like a light turns on above Mike’s head, and he turns to Blaine with wide, angry eyes. “He what?!”

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal,” Blaine says, glancing between the two boys. “It was just a bit weird, but not like, a dealbreaker or anything.”

“Excuse me?” Kurt asks. “Not a – so, what, you’re going to go out with this guy again?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine says, shrugging helplessly. “I… maybe? He was really nice the rest of the date, like we got along really well, and he made me feel really great. It was just right at the end that it got weird, but I don’t want to completely judge based on that.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I can’t fucking believe this,” he mutters. “So, just so I got this straight: homeboy buttered you up with a few compliments, then made you go down on him and didn’t even bother to get you off afterwards, and you’re still considering going out with him again?”

“Well it’s not like I have a ton of other options, Kurt,” he snaps, voice far icier than he planned for it to be.

Kurt immediately presses his lips together, eyebrows still furrowed and eyes on fire. Blaine takes in a deep breath, then another, the weirdness of the past few days as well as the confusion over the end of his date with Sebastian swirling within him.

He closes his eyes, breathes in and out again, then says, “Sorry. I’m just… tired.” He opens his eyes again and, directing himself to Mike, says, “I think I’m just going to hit the hay.”

Mike frowns. “Blaine—”

“We can talk tomorrow, okay?” Blaine looks at his brother pleadingly. “I’m just… really tired right now.”

He sees Mike’s Adam’s apple bob, but he still nods. Blaine sends a brief glance Kurt’s way, but immediately looks away when he sees the anger still lingering behind his eyes. He gives Mike a short, forced smile and then leaves the room, shutting the door behind him and quickly making his way to his own room.

He undresses as soon as he gets there, putting his pyjamas on instantly and flopping hard onto his bed.

He can’t believe Kurt. That he’d have the audacity to say those things to him after completely ignoring him for two days. Like he has any right to comment on the guys that Blaine goes out with when he…

Blaine presses his face into his pillow and groans as loud as he knows he can without Mike and Kurt hearing.

The thing is part of him knows that Kurt is right. Yeah, it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker that Sebastian didn’t get him off, but it still feels weird. Like an oversight that could have been very easily corrected. One that shouldn’t have happened, especially considering how obviously into Blaine Sebastian had been the whole evening.

It kind of makes him wonder if this was all Sebastian really wanted, and now that he got it…

Blaine groans yet again.

Things were already complicated enough, why the hell did they have to get even more complicated?

He closes his eyes, shifting his face so that it’s not directly in the pillow anymore. Stupid Kurt, making him think these things, and stupid Sebastian for not just giving him a stupid handjob, and stupid Mike for… whatever, being friends with Kurt.

Blaine lets out a small exhale, feeling his entire body relax into the bed. Everything and everybody may be stupid right now, but at least his bed is comfortable, and his pillow is soft and…

He must doze off, because at the sound of a soft knock at his door he feels as though someone just dumped cold water over him. He looks around, confused, finding his light still on but that the sky is dark outside. There’s a tiny puddle of drool on his pillow, and it just draws attention to how gross his mouth feels. He really should have brushed his teeth first thing after coming home.

There’s another knock, this time followed by a very quiet, “Blaine?”

Blaine’s heart skips a beat as he recognizes Kurt’s voice. He gets out of his bed as quickly as his body will allow him and hurries to the door, opening it just a crack.

“Hey,” Kurt says, looking over Blaine’s face. “Uh. Sorry, were you asleep?”

“It’s fine,” Blaine mumbles. “Can I help you?”

Kurt licks his lips, then says, “Can I come in?”

Blaine frowns in confusion, but still shrugs and takes a step back, swinging his door open a little more. Kurt immediately slips into the room, then closes the door behind him.

For a moment he just stares at Blaine, not moving from where he’s standing right in front of the door. Blaine frowns, glancing from Kurt’s face to the door behind him, trying to figure out what the heck is even happening right now.

Maybe he’s having some weird kind of fever dream.

Kurt keeps staring at Blaine, like he’s a puzzle he just can’t decipher, and it’s starting to freak Blaine out a little bit.

And then, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world, Kurt reaches out and starts to undo the drawstring on Blaine’s pyjama pants.

“Whoa, Kurt—”

Kurt stops instantly, eyes going back to Blaine’s, blue and sure. His fingers hold the drawstrings loosely, and he raises a challenging eyebrow.

Blaine’s breath starts to come faster, his mind hurrying to catch up. Kurt is here, in his room, trying to undo Blaine’s pants, but not doing anything anymore. It’s like he’s waiting, waiting for Blaine to…

Blaine swallows thickly, then nods his head.

Still without speaking, Kurt finishes untying Blaine’s drawstrings, then brings his hands to Blaine’s hips and pulls down his pants and underwear in one quick movement.

Blaine inhales sharply as the cool air of the room hits his dick, already half-hard in anticipation for what he hopes is about to come.

Kurt stares down at his cock for a moment and then, unceremoniously, drops to his knees in front of Blaine.

“Kurt,” Blaine says, the word strangled as it leaves his mouth.

Kurt places on hand on Blaine’s naked hip, then brings the other up to his mouth, holding up a finger in front of his lips.

Blaine bites down on his own bottom lip, staring down entranced as Kurt places his free hand on Blaine’s other hip and then, as though it’s something they do all the time, leans forward and sucks Blaine’s cock into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Blaine gasps, bringing a hand up to stop any more words from leaving his mouth. Kurt just raises an eyebrow up at him, clearly unimpressed, but doesn’t move away. Instead, he starts to bob his head lightly, silky soft cheeks perfectly warm and wet around Blaine.

Blaine bites down on one of his knuckles, unable to tear his eyes away from what must be some kind of hyper-realistic wet dream. Because Kurt can’t actually be here, in his room, on his knees in front of Blaine, sucking him off. Kurt is straight. He knows Kurt is straight. He just heard him bragging to Mike about having seen at least half of the cheerios boobs the other day. How could straight Kurt be here, now, doing something so incredibly not-straight if this wasn’t a dream?

But it can’t be a dream, because Blaine is here, he’s awake and he’s real, and so is the mouth surrounding his dick. And so are the blue eyes, blue eyes he’s spent so long dreaming about, staring up at him from his position on the floor.

Without removing Blaine’s dick from his mouth, Kurt takes Blaine’s free hand and brings it to the back of his head, encouraging Blaine to thread his fingers through his hair. It’s thick and soft, but not as soft as the inside of his mouth, or as smooth as his tongue wrapping around the head of his cock and –

“I’m not going to last,” Blaine manages to say quietly.

He could swear that Kurt grins around him before closing his eyes and starting to bob up and down Blaine’s cock again, dragging Blaine’s useless hand along with him.

Blaine can’t tear his eyes away from the sight before him as he feels his orgasm building. It’s Kurt, Kurt that he’s liked for so long, Kurt that he’s always known could never be his. Kurt, Kurt, Kurt on his knees in front of him, licking around his cock as he sucks him down.

It’s every fantasy Blaine’s ever had come to life, except ten million times better.

Kurt’s tongue flicks out, licking at the slit of Blaine’s cock, and that’s it. Blaine is done. He bites down on his knuckle again to stop from moaning out loud as he comes, hand clenching around Kurt’s hair and holding him against his groin.

He can feel Kurt swallowing around him as he starts to come down, just before he lets Blaine’s dick slip out of his mouth. He lets Blaine go completely and leans down to pick up the pyjama pants and underwear pooled around Blaine’s ankles. He grabs them and leads them up Blaine’s legs, careful to tuck Blaine’s cock into his underwear gently when he reaches it.

Once Blaine is once again fully dressed, Kurt stands up and rubs off the tiny bit of dust that has collected on his knees.

Because he was just on his knees. In Blaine’s bedroom. Giving him a blowjob.

Blaine glances down, noticing that Kurt is hard in his jeans. He reaches forward tentatively, but Kurt brings a hand out and grabs his wrist, stopping him. Without saying a word, he shakes his head.

“But—”

Kurt brings a finger up to Blaine’s lips, stopping him from speaking. Blaine swallows thickly as he and Kurt stare at each other, trying to figure out what the hell is going on behind those gorgeous eyes.

Then, after a few moments of this, Kurt turns around and walks out of the room, leaving Blaine standing by his door with a drum beating in his chest and a warmth in his stomach that he doesn’t think will ever go away.

[v0n-butch]

Five and Nine dearie! ;)

since you asked about all my stories, I have around 13-ish so this is basically a giant commentary for everything:)🤘🏼😃

hidden in plain sight

what part was hardest to write?

The fucking letters, jesus christ. I thought, ‘hey, wouldnt it be fun to have Billy’s point of view with him reading what she admires about him and make it super lovey dovey and sweet?’ and I almost gave up so many times cause fuck it was hard. Took over a week with switching the wording around and finding what flowed best. Also finding what didn’t sound creepy.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Nah, I mean I could’ve had their places switch, where he’s the one that writes to her... but I loved writing him feel all blushy and giddy over someone thinking of him like that.

look what you’ve done

what part was hardest to write?

After the fight and the ignoring and all that pent up anger being released, there was an awkward moment with all this tension between the two in her room - that was challenging for sure. Cause he was being a piece of shit and he himself knew it, she knew it, everybody knew it. But what took some thinking was to be able to show the guy he was before the fight and his insecurities getting the best of him.

were there alternate versions of this fic?

I dabbled with a lot of reasons why they’d fight, but Billy as a person is just sensitive and insecure and him seeing something like that, no matter how innocent or short the exchange could’ve been in reality with her and some nameless stranger could still set him off and trigger the monster he’s got hidden inside. I can’t remember other scenarios I had thought of but that one stuck to me.

sixteen

what part was hardest to write?

The relationship felt natural, like I could hear all the conversations they’ve had and seen everything they’d done together, I really really liked that dynamic but one stupid small part that killed me was writing the douchey boyfriend lol. Ultimately it’s such an insignificant part, so I scrapped any further drama with him and his deal because the story wasn’t supposed to be about him; it was supposed to be about her and Billy, their past, how it affected them both when they saw each other again after so long.

were there alternate versions of this fic?

None actually! I had it in my mind right off the bat that I wanted him to be nervous and caught off guard for once. like I said in the commentary for this, I know his personality, I know he’s quite used to thinking/believing he’s the most powerful in the room but I wanted that to change for this instance, and I strayed away from having him be untouchable or macho in any way.

whipped

what part was hardest to write?

THE KIDS. I’ve never ever written them before, and I even debated watching a few episodes before tackling it.... but I didn’t and I think I pulled it off alright. I loved their humor. I knew Dustin was always being a paranoid goofball, Lucas as the same without all the anxiety or nerdy interests, Mike as impatient and pessimistic, and Will as being very quiet. So yeah, I overcame that doubt and just did what I thought felt right.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

I thought a lot about what movie they’d watch - like a rom com would’ve been pretty funny too, but I had to have him tease and scare the kids so I made their movie of the night thing be Nightmare on Elm Street😂

punch-drunk love

what was the hardest part to write?

A lot of this flowed easy and generally wasn’t stressful at all. Describing him as a fun drunk was a blast. Thinking of what he would he say if he had no filter and felt on top of the world. I can’t think of anything that I was held back by this time, it all came out in just a couple hours when I should’ve been sleeping lol.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

When I was brainstorming by myself I thought it would just be more smutty and desperate or even a little more sad. I had it planned that she’d reject him initially, but then I got an ask that changed the game and I’m really proud of how it turned out.

naive

what part was hardest to write?

I hardly went over it or stressed much other than tweaking a few details, but plot was pretty self explanatory - I think the most difficult part to write was all the possible ways there could’ve been scenarios where he could’ve mislead her

were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I almost wanted to write them in class but thought him on lifeguard duty would’ve been more engaging and had a lot more to go off of

old habits die hard

what part was hardest to write?

Literally everything. every. single. PART about writing people have sex is challenging, omg. Foreplay....down to kissing.....then down to actually fucking, I got red the whole time. Especially after posting it I’d almost pissed myself ‘cause it’s so nerve wracking putting smut out there holy christ.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

I wanted to get into their marriage and relationship but.... tbh I thought everyone would just skip it and get to the good stuff. So yeah there was probably an almost started version on my phone where I had backstory on how he proposed and all but thought no one would care too much lol.

obstacle 1

what part was hardest to write?

Hurt/comfort is a little challenging when you wanna do it differently. I wanted to sway away from her being this perfect female caregiver that knows exactly what to say and what to do cause that’s just so hard to picture when it comes to real life and all, not that I’m mixing fiction and life it’s just sometimes hard to believe that every girl is perfect at taking care of a guy breaking down.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Nothing too different, I reasoned in my head how he’d get into trouble cause there are infinite ways Billy could’ve fucked up but.... stealing chocolate is pretty funny and juvenile, and he knew it too, but he’d absolutely still get his ass whooped anyway.

playing hooky

what part was hardest to write?

I found it hard to know what they’d do after she got blasted, cause.....what would two teenagers do in a small town skipping school? Also easily taking personal experience for her snapping and getting tired of her careful image cause everybody had these impossibly high expectations for her, but what they’d get up to doing that was ‘illegal’ that they could get arrested for took some time to think about.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

At first I pictured them maybe like breaking in somewhere they weren’t supposed to, hence the ‘we could get arrested’ line, but skinny dipping was my favorite pitch.

thick as thieves

what part was hardest to write?

The ending gave me a tough time, I had to think whether or not if I’d forgive someone for doing that shit to me. It’s happened before, to everybody and myself, the pains of drifting apart and the jealousy that comes with seeing them blossom and become social butterflies, the joys of being in high school... Oh and I’m still working on another part:)

were there alternate versions of this fic?

I dabbled with lots of ideas but I knew I wanted two friends growing apart, a push/pull between their relationship...I don’t remember what else I had planned that I ditched.

the craft (1996)

what part was hardest to write?

Maybe the love spell part. I wanted to write it as severe and dramatic as possible, and really show how desperate and gone he was.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Hmm, I based this off the film and it does show a lot more about the girl group besides the love spell bit, but I wanted it to focus on that cause it was more interesting fucking with Billy. I liked how dark both the movie and the fic was

in utero

what part was hardest to write?

My obstacle with this one was creating this female Billy in my head, which to me was basically a flawed, outrageous, outgoing/promiscuous high school girl who makes a mistake. Writing him pining was definitely enjoyable, and him practicing his lines on how he’d say how he felt and stuff. The wording was switched around a ton, but I’m fairly happy with it. It’s not perfect, he stutters and trails off because he’s nervous, but in it’s own way I think it’s a perfect display of an insecure guy summoning up any courage he has and trying to shoo away any doubt.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Oh man, tons of ideas came to my head with this one. I wondered if maybe she could’ve never gotten ‘rid’ of ‘it’ and then they run off in the sunset, raise ‘it’ together.... Billy maturing and finding a home with their own family. BUT the reason I chose the path she took was because she’s just a kid, fresh from high school, had no idea what she was gonna do with no money other than visit her best friend. I think she knew she didn’t want it and couldn’t stand the guy who put her in this position, so she ran.

— so there it all is, kudos to you if you actually read this far down and to anyone who has reblogged or commented on any of these.... THANKYOU🖤🥰✨

And especially thanks to Haiden cause you’re the best

[lesbianrobin]

Im dying to know, do you have any holiday-themed Steve, Robin, Party, etc. headcanons?

god you KNOW i do!!! first of all i celebrate christmas and i dont rly know anything about other holidays this time of year so im just gonna... work on the assumption that they all celebrate christmas, but if anyone who doesnt celebrate or celebrates something else wants to reblog and add their own hcs i encourage it!!! okay this is gonna be so scattered but:

steve never really liked christmas very much. it was always just stressful and he hated having to spend time with his family and he always got like the most generic expensive boring gifts from his parents and it just wasn't really fun... the first christmas he really got into it was the christmas he spent with nancy and after they broke up, he was like oh christmas just fucking sucks!! but then...

that next christmas dustin invites him over for christmas eve and he brings a pie that he bought from the grocery store and claudia thanks him a million times and he wishes that he'd baked it himself so he didn't feel so guilty

dustin gives him a little baseball bat ornament and claudia is like "oh i thought you played basketball!" and steve is like "oh uh i do but i like baseball too :)" and he and dustin kinda smile at each other and steve ruffles his hair and they watch rudolph on tv and steve is like oh christmas.... is good......

speaking of dustin he always starts thinking about christmas gifts in like october but somehow ends up with absolutely nothing on december 20th and he has to run around in a panic finding gifts for the party

he drinks hot chocolate like a maniac... he doesnt drink water the entire month of december it's hot chocolate or it's nothing

hes one of those people who will say "come on it's christmas!!!" on like the tenth

lucas is one of those people who will say "no asshole it's december tenth"

lucas loves christmas!! he just thinks that it's a day and not a whole fucking month!!! he thinks anything before like december 15th is too much

the only thing he hates about christmas is that his parents always make him and erica pick out gifts for each other with no help from them... and since erica is an evil genius she always gets lucas the perfect gift just so she can hold it over his head for the entire year when he accidentally gets her a toy she already owns

she literally watches him open his present like >:) and lucas is pissed when it's this extremely specific action figure that he's wanted for a long time but he swears he never even mentioned it to anybody

and then he just sits there feeling like a stupid asshole as she unwraps a random doll that lucas figured she might like since its hair looks kind of sort of vaguely like erica's and she's like "thanks lucas :) i think i have this one already but it's sweet" and his parents are like "hey it's the thought that counts! erica see your brother knows what you like :)" and she's like "yeah :)" and then as soon as their parents aren't looking she sticks her tongue out at lucas and he sticks his out back at her

the sinclairs have such a disgustingly perfect christmas like they bake cookies together and shit it's adorable

speaking of adorable families the byers house is so full of love on christmas

almost all of the ornaments on their tree are handmade little crafts from when will and jonathan were younger and they buy tinsel at the dollar store and just go fucking ham with it their tree always looks like a hobby lobby threw up

growing up joyce would usually try to get them some things they need on christmas and then like one or two special things for each of them and she could never buy the fancy new toys that were in all the ads on tv and in magazines but she knows her boys.... jonathan got his first camera on christmas and it was from a secondhand store and kind of dinged up and definitely old as shit but he loved it..... will always got some new construction paper and crayons or markers so by the end of christmas day joyce would have new drawings to put up on the fridge or a new little ornament that he made for her.....

sometime in november jonathan would always be like "okay will i have a secret mission for you, you need to find out something mom needs that we could give her for christmas!" and will would be like "you have to say your mission should you choose to accept it" and jonathan would say "well i know you're gonna accept the mission" and will's like "jonathannnnn" and jonathan would be like "okay fine your mission should you choose to accept it" and will would be like >:) im a spy >:)

so little baby will would action roll around the house humming the mission impossible theme and peeking around walls at joyce and then after like a week he'd say "i think mom needs a stool she keeps jumping to try and reach stuff high up in the cabinets" and jonathan's like awesome thanks and he finds a cheap folding stool and some chocolates that he can afford with whatever money he has saved up and he has will wrap it because he figures it's like ten times cuter that way and joyce cries when she sees the little christmas card will put with the stool for her

i'm going way more in depth than i need to thvjdjcd but basically the byers house is all love man... so much love ..... they don't use colored lights anymore they only use the solid strands but they still have fun decorating together and will makes paper chains and stuff to hang up and i'm about to make myself cry

so!! this is getting super long fjvndmcmd

nancy is absolute dogshit at buying presents for people she's just terrible at it. she always just asks mike and holly and her parents what they want and buys exactly what they tell her and if they don't tell her anything then she has like a mental breakdown about it and panics and buys like. a flannel pajama gift set from the department store.

when she's dating steve he tells her not to worry about getting him anything which she takes at face value until her mom asks what she's giving steve like three days before christmas and then she starts panicking and she goes to a sporting goods store and just asks the first employee she sees what a teenage boy who plays basketball might like

steve can't tell if he should be like happy or vaguely offended that his girlfriend gave him like shoe deodorizers and a water bottle and socks for a sports team that he doesn't root for... she tried though and thats all he cares about

she and jonathan agree they'll exchange gifts but nothing over like MAX fifteen bucks which is easy she just finds a tape or a record she thinks he'll like and she's set (she spends a full hour in the music store and almost just gets a gift certificate for him but eventually she just says fuck it and picks some random shit she's never heard of and hopes he likes whatever it is)

mike on the other hand is actually like... insanely good at gift giving because he pays close attention to the people he cares about and he just like Knows if lucas or dustin or will is gonna like something

he just doesnt really buy into christmas all that much?? it's cool to get free stuff and eat cookies and all but he thinks people make it into a bigger deal than it should be

holly still believes in santa though so he likes seeing how excited she gets on christmas... it warms his cold tween boy heart.....

the first christmas he gets to spend with el he turns into a fucking christmas enthusiast and he makes her hot chocolate and gives her a tape full of christmas songs and he asks his mom for a bigger gift allowance because he has a GIRLFRIEND now and she's never- uh, THEY'VE never celebrated christmas TOGETHER so it has to be SPECIAL MOM!!!!

karen is like buddy calm down but it's so nice to see him excited about something again that she caves and gives him like forty bucks and tells him not to tell nancy or his dad

el and hopper christmas... i cannot go into detail or i WILL cry but hopper takes her with him to pick out their tree and she's so meticulous about it like examining all of them and he's just standing there in the cold freezing his ass off letting her do her thing because she's so excited that he doesn't have the heart to tell her they're basically all the same and to just hurry up and pick one

he gives her a lot of books... there are so many books under their ugly fucking tree because el picks one thats extremely crooked because she says it seems nice and hopper cant find any of his old decorations so they have to start from scratch...

el enlists the whole party for help finding hopper a present because it has to be the best present of all time!!!! they're like well what does he like and she's like uh tv.... coffee.... gun...... and they're like uh we can get him a coffee mug?

so on christmas morning el presents him with a "BEST DAD" mug full of candy and he hugs her so she won't see that he's fucking crying

she also gives max a drawing she did of max as wonder woman and it isn't very good but max says it's her favorite present she's ever gotten and she keeps it folded up in her nightstand

max has mixed feelings about christmas

i should not have saved her for last this is depressing

fuck her family fuck all of that okay max spends christmas eve with the sinclairs and christmas day with el because her mom and neil don't really feel like celebrating this year and so for the first time in a long time her christmas is full of love and joy and hopper makes them cinnamon rolls for breakfast which el has never had before and it's great

the party usually does a big gift swap and they don't get each other anything too fancy or expensive but it's sweet... they all gather in mike's basement like the day after christmas and eat the leftovers from the wheelers' christmas dinner and give each other comics and action figures and dice

once robin enters the picture she and steve lowkey get smashed on christmas eve together off peppermint schnapps and they play rockin around the christmas tree like ten times and jump around until they get dizzy...

they give each other little things like every other day leading up to christmas so by the end of december they've exchanged gifts like ten times but it isn't their FAULT okay!!! steve just saw these earrings and thought of her so he got them... and robin couldn't just leave that wham! crop top sitting in the store...... and steve couldn't resist the cheap bff necklaces he found while looking for a gift for erica....... and what is robin meant to do, ignore the stuffed kermit doll she saw in a store window?

it's just unrealistic

i like to think that everybody gathers at the byers house for lunch or dinner on christmas eve... they just hang out and exchange presents and make cookies and watch christmas movies and argue over which ones suck and which ones are actually good...... they just spend time together without any fear or danger and it's good

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

Game #8: The Pretender

Hard open. Mike McGuire stared intensely at the camera, background obscured. Their emerald gaze was unwavering, a frigid glare. This image held in silence a moment before their lips twitched a couple times, followed by a snort issuing from their nose. The edges of the eyes crinkled a bit and the lips pursed inward, cheeks puffing slightly as if trying to hold something inward. And then it happened. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The camera pulled back a bit to reveal the full extent of McGuire’s laughter- they went from holding their sides to smacking their knee, taking a few gasping breaths to try, against all odds, to regain some form of composure. “Aw, fuck. Aw, s-shit, I’m sorry, I just… you’re gonna… you’re gonna take me out back and…” More laughter. Almost as if this very notion was the most hilarious thing they’d ever heard in their entire life. “...s-shoot me like Old Yeller! Oh my fuckin’ god I’m gonna pee. Okay. Okay. Shit.” A few more inhales and exhales. In through the mouth, out through the nose. The Bronx Brawler’s surroundings appeared to be her and her partner’s hotel room in Cusco, and Mike themself is currently clad in hiking gear- sturdy boots, cargo shorts, a black tank with the baseball-sugar skull and bat-crossbones logo of Los Veleros de Columbus, and, of course, their Mets cap. They sat on the end of the bed, bouncing a bit. “Me and Church are about to go hike up to Machu Picchu. I was thinking of responding to whatever you planned on saying on the way up. You know, about how you were gonna be a tough mountain to climb or whatever ridiculous bullshit. Make the most of the surroundings to make a fuckin’ point. Then I wondered why the holy blue fuck I would want to waste even a few minutes of a life-changing experience like this talking about you. Oh, and then I saw what you actually put together. Girl. I can’t. I have lost all fuckin’ ability to can. Did you seriously fuckin’... okay.” Reaching behind them, Mike retrieved their laptop, cracking it open. “I don’t know if you know this is what you fuckin’ sounded like, and I ain’t no goddamn’ computer artist, but I had to make some kind of visual aid. ...Where the fuck did I.. ah. Here we go.” Spinning the laptop around, the viewing audience was treated to a rather hideous image that, frankly, could’ve been put together better by a middle school student. “Onions have layers. Dakota Jennings has layers. And as you can see, ogres have layers, so the best I could put together that you were tryin’ to fuckin’ tell me was that you, Jennings, are a fuckin’ ogre. Which makes a whole lotta fuckin’ sense, to be honest- I mean, you’re ill tempered, not overly fuckin’ bright,  and have the kind of fuckin’ attitude that points to you bein’ born and raised in a goddamn swamp. But, y’know, maybe I don’t have much room to talk on those points. So let’s get serious.” The laptop is snapped shut and tossed on the bed behind them, their hands folding on their lap, the intense expression from before finding its way back onto their face. “I really do find your threats cute. You’re gonna take me out back and shoot me. You’re gonna make me cry my eyes out. Do you think I ain’t heard that shit before? I can’t count how many others have tried the same lines on me. I ain’t scared. I ain’t fucking intimidated. After all the punishment I’ve taken over the course of my career? I don’t sweat anything anybody has to dish out. So all your fuckin’ yapping is just the angry barks of a pissed off Pomeranian to me.” Mike waved a hand, scoffing. “You’re also making a big deal pointing out just how wrong my assumptions are. How, ‘no! I was only pretending to be a fuckin’ twit! I really am fuckin’ awesome when I don’t have a chair handy! Behold my… two whole fuckin’ video clips illustrating this fact! I was in MMA! I have a chokehold!’ Great. Wonderful. You keep running your mouth and showing me home movies and I’ll continue to not fucking believe you till I see it myself, mano e womano. If you really needed to use a chair at Rite of Kings just to put me down, cuz you couldn’t get the job done otherwise? Woman, you just admitted with your own damn mouth that on an even playing field, I am better than you. And if that really ain’t the case? And you haven’t needed to stoop to the tactics you’re known for at all, cuz you really are an awesome wrestler, really, honest? Then Jennings, that just means you’re fuckin’ lazy.” They sat up straight. “I stand by what I said. And it counts double now that you’ve gone and made such a big honkin’ deal about it. If you make a fucking hypocrite out of yourself, I am not gonna be a happy goddamn camper. And my threats? They ain’t cute. I ain’t no little ginger Pomeranian, I’m a goddamn junkyard Rottweiler with giant fuckin’ balls. I will rip your fuckin’ windpipe right out of your neck if you try to screw me. But hey, you’re not gonna have to worry about that, right? You’ve shown me what a straight shooter you are. And you’re nothing if not trustworthy, Jennings.” They got up, and looked down into the camera, their expression utterly wicked. “Least, for your sake, I hope that’s the case. See you real soon.” Click to black. Several hours later, NSFW were well on their way. Mike had a large hiking pack, complete with packed-up bedroll, tucked on their back, and John had likewise. It would take all of their ‘vacation’ time to make it to the ancient Incan citadel and back, but in Mike’s mind, at least, it would be worth it- the hike would serve as a good extended workout, and besides, this was a once in a lifetime experience. Every international destination they visited promised something like this- one of the best perks of their job was the opportunity to see the worlds’ greatest and most breathtaking landmarks. So far, the hike along the Lares Trail was amazing even in its early legs. The ground they walked was a well-trodden dirt pathway, and the sky was as clear and blue as Mike had ever seen. A small herd of llamas, likely property of a nearby Andean village, grazed on the low grass. Eyes wide, Mike turned to their partner. “Incredible, ain’t it?” John didn’t say anything, he looked about - absorbing his surroundings. There was a faint smile on his face that may tell Mike just what he thought. Mike quickened their pace just slightly, allowing themself to walk at his side, keeping pace just a ways behind their guide and the same ways behind the pair of donkeys that served as pack beasts. Their hand slipped into his easily. It was refreshing to do so- even if there were only a few others around, minus the residents of the village, it was still a more public display of affection than they usually displayed. They didn’t have to hide. They were as a rightful part of the world as the ancient city they were heading toward, as the little villages they passed through where the Andes people had lived in the same way for thousands of years. “...we belong here.” It was part of their thoughts escaping aloud- just loud enough, however, for John to hear it. The guide motioned that they’d be stopping for a break, and Mike took a seat on a nearby rock wall that was probably ten times their age. John sat beside them. “Makes one envious even,” John’s voice was just above audible, “I’m good with coming back. But I meant it. And while I feel invigorated... one day we need to step away. Satisfied with what we’ve accomplished. Because there is always more that we could do. Always more.” “I know.” They always did. They always knew this story, or at least this version of this story, would end one day. Where they’d reach the last page of the book called ‘NSFW’ and put it up on the shelf so they could start writing the book called ‘John and Mike’. “I still wanna do this though, when we can. I never wanna stop seeing things like this. Experiencing the fuckin’ world. I know we probably won’t be able to travel’s easy or often as we do now, cuz we got the perk of not having to pay for airfare an’ shit, but… yeah. Promise me we can still do this?” “I like doing what you like,” he paused. He knew that was something that stuck in Mike’s craw lately. His mind clicked and whirred as it struggled to clarify his stance, “I like it, too.”   “I’m glad. … Holy shit, check that out!” Mike pointed upward. Soaring over their heads was a magnificent bird. Even from high up, Mike could tell that it was enormous- the biggest bird they’d ever seen in their life. Their hand gripped onto John’s super tight. “...he reminds me of you. Huge and regal as fuck. I bet he could swoop down and carry off a whole fuckin’ llama but he doesn’t. He just wants to fly where he wants and be awesome on his own terms.” “He seems nice.” There was a pause. And then Mike laughed. Not the harsh, mocking laughter they’d recorded that morning, but something far sweeter. Fonder. They cracked a couple of energy bars out of their pack and opened up their canteen, handing John one and going back to watching the bird- an Andean Condor, though they didn’t know that- circle majestically around the valley. “Yup. He sure does.”