#ok i jus needed some tea and it was a ' bad day ' for her

[miraeluc]

you don’t return from a mission

prompt: “diluc starts to worry when you’ve been gone on a simple mission for more than two days so he decides to look for you himself”

pairing: diluc x gender-neutral! reader

word count: 1,1k

warnings: mention of broken bone?? reader is hurt (not too bad), it’s just cute tbh

genre: angst, fluff

he was worried sick.

it was unlike you to stay overtime on missions - you did your work and left, avoiding unwanted commissions from strangers

after 1 day he wasn’t too worried, maybe you got carried away

after 2 days he was already starting to worry, maybe you went somewhere more far away and are camping there?

you were supposed to go to springvale though

that’s not that far.

after 3 days he was getting physically ill from all the overthinking - he thought every single possibility of what state you may be in right now

he hopes you’re just camping somewhere

he decided he couldn’t wait anymore and decided to go out and look for you himself 

the next morning he awoke at 5am

he couldn’t sleep any longer so he got a backpack with emergency items such as a first aid kit and went on his (not so) merry way

he walked through windrise

just to make sure you weren’t there

sadly you were nowhere to be found 

he sighed and kept walking - now on the way to springvale 

he didn’t want to admit if but he was so terrified of losing you 

you were the first person able to break down his walls in years

the thought of you potentially being in great danger made him automatically increase speed

he walked through the small village

“hey, brook. have you seen y/n around?”

“master diluc? y/n? they came by few hours ago to cook some food! looked pretty... disheveled. they said they were on their way to clear some hilichurl camps.”

diluc cursed under his breath

“did you see what direction they went?”

“took off in dawn winery’ direction-” 

“ok. thanks.” he cut her off

he immediately started walking again, now getting more worried after brook described your appearance as ,,disheveled,, 

when he arrived at dawn winery there was no one outside

that was weird

there’s usually always someone out there

where is everyone????

he obviously tried to go in 

the doors were locked

that’s double-weird 

double-weird until he very clearly heard you grunt in pain in the distance, atleast

what was dangerous enough to make dawn winery shut closed without asking him first?

he didn’t have enough time to ponder over it because he was already sprinting towards the source of sounds coming from you 

his eyes widened and he faltered for a second as soon as he saw you, on the ground in the middle of three cryo abyss mages

he was, for the first time, relieved to be noticed by enemies - the three now floating towards him

he felt his anger picking up when he glanced at you, lying on the ground motionless

so, ya know what he did?

he released intense flames - knocking his opponents shields off, letting his phoenix finish them off 

he sprinted towards you, dropping to his knees and pulling you to rest your head on his lap 

“y/n, hang on for me, alright? don’t close your eyes”

his voice was shaking 

“d-diluc- i can’t-” 

was the only thing you managed to cough out, entrusting him to keep you safe, unable to keep fighting to stay awake, enduring that pain

you woke up to the sound of wood crackling beside you, residing into the warmth it radiated

curse those cryo abyss mages 

you slowly peeled your eyes open, flinching at the sight of barbara and diluc hovering above you 

where were you?

is this.. dawn winery??

what’s barbara doing here,,

you don’t know and you don’t care because you feel yourself getting engulfed by diluc’s arms 

“god, you scared me so much..”

he won’t mention that he cried in front of barbara because he was so worried

that would feed your ego a little too much 

“i’m sorry.. are they gone? i just wanted to defeat them before returning home..”

“they’re long gone..”

he sighed and pulled away from the hug, glancing at barbara who was waiting for your little moment to end before she could speak 

“how did that even happen? you can take down three abyss mages easily!”

“I had cleared three hilichurl camps already and I was weakened - those took me by surprise as I was making my way back”

“you need to be careful next time - i healed you to the best of my abilities, but damage that only time can heal has been left behind. you have a broken rib and you were shivering the entire time while you were out! we warmed you up as best as we could and you should be fine now, but i wouldn’t be surprised if you do catch a cold the next few days..”

she then paused and looked at diluc

“you need to take care of y/n until they get bett-”

“you don’t even need to tell me. i won’t leave y/n out of my sight for now.”

she nodded and stood up

“very well. then, i’ll leave back to mondstadt, i still have work to do.”

without another word she left, which made diluc’s attention go back to you 

he reached his hand out to caress your cheek

“i nearly got sick myself when you didnt return home after 3 days”

you broke out in a little giggle, stopping when your rib started immensely hurting but you then spoke

“oh diluc.. you know i usually take longer because i get carried away.. nonetheless, i’m very thankful that you came to my aid, no one else would have..”

“it makes me want to fire all my employees - they were all ju-”

you cut him off, pulling him down towards you to kiss his lips 

“i’m glad they did, i got to see you fight~”

he scoffed, a smile spreading onto his lips

“seriously? that’s what you’re happy about?”

“well you looked very hot..” you trailed off

he attacked your face with tiny kisses after-

you best believe he didn’t let you out of sight the following weeks

he mostly made you stay in bed

always bringing you tea and left to fetch medicine for you in case of need

he even waited in front of the bathroom door when you needed to use the bathroom 

he even helped you shower 

you don’t express it verbally, but you’re really thankful to have him

no one except him supports and protects you as much as he does

he could literally kill someone for you

(spoiler: he already did.)

he’s your little meanie

did i mention that taking care of you also meant lots and lots of cuddles?

he always says it’s ‘so i can warm you up’

...

you know it’s because deep down he’s still very worried about your well-being

even after you’ve returned to good condition he hesitates to let you go on commissions 

he usually accompanies you, just to make sure

you don’t mind 

going on adventures alone can get boring - so having him by your side makes it all better :)

additional notes: hey there! there’s my second drabble. (truth is, i actually dislike this one lol). to be honest, i got so happy at the positive feedback towards my kaeya drabble, so i’m sorry it took me a while to write another one and it came out short too :( - i was having a little struggle with some writers block lol. nonetheless i hope you enjoyed this!!

[haunted-by-catholic-guilt]

Cumbersome And Heavy Body

Jon was born hurting.

Well, that was an exaggeration, but he did have chronic pain for as long as he could remember.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TW FOR INTERNALIZED ABLEISM

i think thats all this has been in my folder for ages

yeah the title is from a mother mother song don't @ me

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jon was born hurting.

Well, that was an exaggeration, but he did have chronic pain for as long as he could remember.

He was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and fibromyalgia at age 26, after ten years of progressing symptoms and a lot of pushing from Georgie.

He had started using a cane that same year, after one too many falls for his liking.

He was embarrassed, of course, being as young as he was and needing to use it, but after much reassuring from Georgie, and the pure pain he was in, he finally did it.

He wore braces sometimes, but found that the cane was much to.. showy already that he wasn’t well.

No one at the institute seemed to care, second glances, some odd comments on the rare occasion.

On his first day as head archivist, he looked down to the archives, a steep, jagged set of stairs in his path.

Fuck.

He sighed and painstakingly slowly made his way down the stairs, he was early, and no one saw him, thank god for that.

It continues on like that for a while, going into work early, leaving late, not leaving for lunch.

It worries Martin, and Martin makes that clear.

Jon does not like Martin.

The dog in the archives for one, his constantly late work, his penmanship, his lack of basic knowledge, his frequent interruptions-

Jon could go on and on about why he hates Martin Blackwood, and he makes sure Martin knows.

It does not stop Martins’s worry, or his kindness, and that’s what Jon hates the most.

Jon tries to calmly hate Martin, scarcely snapping at him, and very rarely raising his voice, at anyone, really.

Today, however, Jon had woken up in some of the worse pain he had felt in a long time, something more than the normal bad pain.

His joints were burning, and it was expanding into an ache around them, his skin stung at any small touch, and a stinging pain threads its way through his veins.

Despite this, Jon still went into work, having to stop every few steps to catch his breath, and regroup.

He got in early and locked himself in his office, not talking to anyone and hoping it would stay that way.

But of course, Martin couldn’t give him that, could he?

A soft knock on the door, more for courtesy than asking for permission, Jon had learned.

“Goodmorning, Jon! I brought you tea-“

Jon felt anger rise and boil over before he could stop it, he slammed his hand on his desk, which did not help his pain but that was the least of the issues at hand.

“Damnit, Martin! I don’t want your goddamn tea, I don’t want to talk to you, please for the love of God leave me alone and do your goddamn work well for once? If your performance does not improve soon I will have you fired. And stop getting in the way.

He was yelling, he didn’t mean to yell, but he was.

Martin was pale and shaking, he looked like he was about to cry, and Tim and Sasha had gone dead quiet outside of his office.

Martin cleared his throat, and quickly pulled himself back together.

“R-right I’ll jus- I’ll be going.”

Martin closed the door, and Jon sagged into his chair.

He was going to pay for this, he lost his temper and now he was going to pay for it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Martin closed the door to Jon’s office, and it took all he had not to start crying right then and there.

He inhaled shakily, and glanced into the break room, where Sasha and Tim were currently quiet, and staring at him.

Shit.

Tim was the first to move, quickly moving to Martin and then ushering him into the breakroom and sat him down at the table, and Sasha gently pried the tea out of his shaking hands, but he hardly noticed, being too focused on not crying.

He heard Tim talking, his voice was loud and sounded angry, and Sasha was stroking his arm but sounded pissed.

He didn’t hear anything that was being said, he just stared forward, feeling the tears prickle at his eyes, he didn’t even realize he had finally started crying until Sasha cooed, and ran her thumb over his cheek, wiping away the tears.

“Oh Martin, I’m so sorry.”

He quickly shook his head, it was his own fault, no one needed to apologize.

“N-No it’s alright, I’m fine just uh- over sensitive is all, I’m sorry.”

Tim huffed and patted his shoulder, and walked away, not giving any indication of where he was going, but Martin and Sasha both knew, Martin tried to stop him, though.

“Tim you don’t- Tim!”

His attempt was futile and the door was already open and being slammed again.

He let out a shaky sigh and put his head on the table before he stood back up.

“Well I should probably get back to work”

He let out a quiet heh, and Sasha looked displeased.

“Martin, love, it’s ok that you’re upset by that, he was an ass.”

Martin forced a laugh, but reassured her he was fine, and went back to work.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jon hissed out a sigh, Tim was right.

He was just graced with quite the telling off from an extraordinarily angered Tim, which he completely deserved, some of the highlights included his selfishness, him being a jerk to Martin for no fair reason, and many, many, other things.

He didn’t try to fight back, he knew he deserved it, but he also couldn’t bring himself to talk at all.

His blood was boiling with pain, and his joints had become stiff with aching, he felt like he had been struck by lightning.

Jon sighed, and stood up, he knew he needed to apologize to Martin, the sooner the better, but before he could do anything, everything went black.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been about half an hour since the incident, Tim having spent the larger part of it chewing out Jon, when they heard a crash from Jon’s office.

“Shit”

Tim scowled but he and Martin rushed into Jons office you see him on the floor, unconscious, Martin quickly knelt by him, and grabbed his wrist.

“He doesn’t have a temperature, but his heart rate is fast”

Tim crouched down next to the small man’s unconscious form, before Martin seemed to get an idea.

“Tim, can you set his legs on your lap? Elevation might help.”

He couldn’t comprehend how Martin was still this caring to Jon who not even an hour earlier yelled such nasty things at him, but he did as he was asked.

After a few minutes, Jon started to stir, and opened his eyes, he looked confused for a second, but then revelation hit him.

“Oh- Martin I- I’m so sorry”

Martin smiled, a sad smile, but Tim could tell he was hurt and wouldn’t say anything.

“It’s quite alright Jon, are you okay?”

Jon shifted a little, before realizing his feet were being held, he smiled sheepishly and wiggled out of Tim’s grasp.

“I’m okay, it happens sometimes.”

Martins brow furrowed and despite himself, Tim felt worry blossom in him too.

“It shouldn’t happen, have you gone to a doctor?”

Jon nodded, and began to pull himself off of the floor, and Martin shot up immediately, eager to help, where Tim slowly stood up.

“Yes, it’s fine, Martin.”

Martin helped Jon sit down at his desk, and looked down, still embarrassed about earlier, Tim supposed.  

“Come on boss, the least you can do is tell Martin why you yelled at him and then fainted.”

Martin made a noise, and stuttered.

“Tim, that is not necessary! If he doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t need to”

Jon knew he should tell them, should tell them ‘sometimes I pass out, it’s one of the many symptoms of my chronic illnesses!’ but he doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to be seen as fragile, and weak.

“Martin I’m so sorry for yelling earlier, I’m not feeling my best and I took it out on you, but I shouldn’t have”

This time Martin looks up at Jon and looks surprised by a genuine apology.

“It’s alright Jon, really.”

Tim looked like he was about to fight it, but Jon felt a burst of pain from his knee, and let out a whimper despite himself.

“Jon? Are you alright?”

He gritted his teeth and nodded.

“Jon I can tell you’re not, what’s going on?”

Jon sighed, and wrong his hands, anxious for reasons he didn’t understand.

“It’s fine. I just- I have a- a chronic illness, and one of the symptoms of one of them is sometimes when I stand up, or sit up, I get dizzy and sometimes faint, I’m fine really, I just prefer to keep it to myself.”

He twisted his hands again, uncomfortable but Martin put his hand on Jon’s, clearly in a gesture of comfort.

“I- I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, my joints aren’t right, too flimsy and bendy, more things too… and my pain varies, but it’s always there and I use the cane to help balance, and no I don’t need your pity or to be treated like I’m fragile just because I’m disabled, it’s just there.”

He looked up to see Martin smiling softly at him, and Tim looking surprised, and Sasha, who had apparently shown up without his knowledge, was leaning against the doorframe.

“Jon, we‘re not going to treat you differently now that we know what’s wrong with you, it can just make it easier for us to, you know, help you!”

Sasha’s voice was soft and reassuring, and she stepped into the room further, and Tim spoke up.

“Boss, you really gotta stop hiding information from us like, ya know, the fact that sometimes you pass out, or you’re going to give poor Martin an early heart attack”

Martin blushed and stammered at that statement, before moving his hand to Jon’s shoulder.

“Jon, I’m glad you told us, I know it can be hard to be open about those things.”

Jon nodded, and slowly started to push himself off the floor, and Martin immediately started to help him up, Tim grabbed his cane from where it had fallen, offering it to him.

“Let us help you, boss, we are a team after all, aren’t we?”

Jon smiled and nodded, and for a second, felt okay.

[word-scribbless]

Hiding

Masterlist

prompts: 12:“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.” 

19: “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

______________________________

Y/N sat curled up on the couch in her hotel room with a cup of tea, wondering how long it’d be before a knock on her door. She had been with the BAU for 3 years now, however this last case may have shaken her the hardest. She was taken hostage, not for long before her team found her, however she was held at gun point by their unsub and wasn’t sure she’d live past today. Just like she guessed, a few minutes later she heard a knock. She reluctantly got up and looked through the peep hole, slowly opening the door. “Hey Spence” she greeted. “Hey y/n, I just wanted to check on you after today.” “I’m fine, thanks for checking in though” “Y/N” he said not believing her “I’m okay!” “I know I should believe you and just walk away but...” “Spence” y/n cut him off. “I really am ok, but maybe we’d both be better if you came in?” She offered He nodded and moved past her into the room “I’m just watching some random TV movie” she told him curling back up in her spot as he joined her “Y/N if you need to talk about this” he started She nodded as tears started to fill her eyes. “I’m not ready yet!” She told him sobbing. He moved closer to her and wrapped her in his arms. “I was just so scared!” “Shhh shh” he calmed her “I know I was too!” He agreed They sat like that until she calmed down. She finally looked him in the eyes. Her heart fluttered like it always did when she was near by the handsome genius. After almost dying today she decided she should finally make a move on her feelings for him. “Spence” she whispered before closing the gap between them. His lips felt the way she always imagined. The spell was quickly broken as Spencer gently pulled her away from him. A look of worry on his face. “Y/N” Her heart broke. She should have known he’d never feel the same way. “I’m so sorry, I think you should leave” she said standing up and turning away from him. “Y/N” he said grabbing for her arm but she pulled away. “Please leave!” “Y/n please just listen to me!” He begged “GET OUT SPENCER!” She finally yelled, desperate to be alone. Spencer conceded and left y/n’s room. He stopped outside the door for a moment as tears welled up in his eyes. He knew he messed up. What if that was his only shot he just ruined? He had been in love with y/n for years now and wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but in that moment he was terrified that if he kissed her back he’d be taking advantage of her. She had just been kidnapped and held at gun point. What if she wasn’t thinking straight and he used that against her by letting her kiss him. However she had clearly seen his pulling away as rejection and refused to talk to him about it. The plane ride home the next day was no better. She sat as far from him as she could and quickly turned down his every advance to talk to her. It went on this way for about a week. Only talking when they were forced to by work. Finally Morgan and JJ had had enough of it. JJ was y/n’a  best friend and of course Derek was Spencer’s, they knew they had to step in. Spencer was typing out another text to y/n that he knew would go unanswered. “Yo kid” Derek greeted “Hey” Spencer answered not looking up from him phone. “Alright what’s going on with you and y/n.” Spencer let out a sad sigh. “I finally had a chance and I screwed bit up!” He put his head in his hands. “Yeah I’m gonna need you to elaborate” Derek laughed. “Morgan she finally kissed me man!” Specter groaned. “And that’s bad why?” “It wasn’t, it was perfect. Until I pushed her away.” Spencer admitted. “You what?!?” “Would you lower your voice?” Spencer said looking around. “Kid you’ve wanted that girl since you first met her. I’m just a little confused how that led to you pushing her away.” “It was right after she was held at gun point! I was afraid that’s what fueled it and I didn’t want her to regret it!” Spencer sighed. “Okay I get that. So just explain that to her.” Morgan offered “Yeah, easier said than done! She won’t even look at me!” He scoffed “she won’t answer my calls or texts or even be in the same room alone!” “Okay well I happen to know where she is right now... and know she is getting a very similar talk as you.” Derek smiled. “So go try again pretty boy.” Derek explained that y/n was at JJ’s and they were tired of seeing their friends hurt so they wanted to end this fight. Meanwhile at JJ’s house y/n was curled up on the couch with Michael telling JJ the same story. But in her story she explains that Spencer looked horrified and would never want her. “Y/N I really don’t think that’s the case! He’s crazy about you why won’t you just talk to him?” JJ says “Because avoiding it is much easier than getting hurt, thank you very much! Now can we stop talking about it?” Y/N groaned “What so you can continue to be miserable? Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.” JJ said rolling her eyes. “Oh but it does!” Y/N responded “it’s much better than hearing him say he doesn’t feel the same way.” “BUT WHAT IF THATS NOT WHAT HE SAYS,Y/N! HE-“ JJ is cut off by the door bell ringing. She goes to check who it is and sees Spencer at the door. “Well, looks like you can’t run any more” she smirks “Ah!” Y/N squeaks and jumps behind the couch with Micheal in her arms. JJ rolls her eyes and opens the door. “Hey Spence” “Hey JJ, is she here?” “She’s hiding behind the sofa.” JJ pointed, causing Y/N to groan. Spencer nods and walks around the couch to sit down next to Y/N as Micheal crawls to his mom. “Hey there.” “Hi” she said shyly. “Y/N just let me explain?” Spencer asked grabbing her hand. “Fine, but Spence if your going to let me down easy can we ju-“ “Kiss me again” Spencer cuts her off. “What?” “Y/N when you kissed me before I was scared that it was just left over feelings from being in danger and I didn’t want to take advantage of that... so if you feel for me any bit of what that kiss felt like you did that night... then Y/N, please. Kiss me again!” He explained moving his hand to cup her face.

She nodded hesitantly and leaned in to capture his lips. Pouring everything she had into the kiss. He responded by pouring all his love for her back into the kiss as well, while shill holding her gently. They pull away and Y/N looks up at him expectantly. “Y/N I wanted nothing more than to kiss you that night, but I was afraid you were just kissing me because I was there, I didn’t want you to regret it if you didn’t really have feelings for me.” He said causing her to nod. “And now?” She asked kissing him again “any doubts about my feelings now?” She asked smiling. “Nope” he smiled “how about you? Any doubts about how I feel?” He asked and she shook her head no. “Can I take you out tonight? On an official first date, no doubts or worries just us?” He smiled. “You sure can! But I’m still gonna worry, I have a date with the man of my dreams, I’m gonna be a little nervous.” She giggled as he pulled her into another kiss. “Oh thank god!” JJ said walking back into the room, now Morgan can relax and you two can stop being so moody.”

[iwritesickfic]

perfect, part 1

“You don’t look well,” Bo says, and Dell waves a hand in dismissal.

“I look fine.” he slides into the car next to the younger man and the driver starts off before the door is even closed.

“Ok, you look fine, but I can tell...” He trails off, and Dell laughs softly. Even under the weather he looks lovely. It’d be very hard to tell if you didn’t see him everyday, but because he does, Bo notices every bit that’s off. he’s considerably paler, and his eyes are red rimmed like they are when he hasn’t gotten any sleep. His lips are chapped, and the way he keeps touching his septum with his knuckle is evidence something’s wrong.

All that said, he looks otherwise immaculate. His shirt is ironed and crisp as normal, his curls are brushed the way they always are, he’s clean shaven and obnoxiously punctual.

“What can you tell?” He asks, teasing, and Bo sighs, glancing again at the driver. He lowers his voice.

“That you’re ill.” Dell smirks.

“And what does my being ill matter?” He doesn’t bother lowering his voice. Bo sighs.

“It matters because you probably need some rest and some tea and a day off instead of running around-” Dell cuts him short.

“Do I have time for a day off?” Bo frowns. They absolutely don’t. It’s been only a few weeks since Dell’s mother, reigning queen of their tiny, forgotten, european country announced her decision to step down. Which meant Dell, the royal family’s only son, would be king. And for Bo, the personal assistant hired by his mother, meant an extreme uptick in the amount of things he needed to manage per day. 

“We could -”

“Don’t say we could work something out. We can’t work something out. This week is busy and we’re not cancelling everything just because you’re under the impression I have a cold.” Dell seems completely unwilling to keep the conversation between just the two of them, so Bo stops keeping his voice low.

“I’m under the impression?”

“Have I said I don’t feel well?” Bo sighs.

“No.”

“So it remains to be seen.” 

The truth is that Dell doesn’t need an assistant. At least not one that rides with him to appointments and is constantly within five feet. Dell needs someone who will answer his emails, not someone to babysit him. Especially not someone a year and half younger. He’s been cordial but it’s clear he doesn’t really enjoy Bo’s presence. He’s not condescending or anything, he just seems to get a lot of fun out of joking and teasing and sarcasm.

“Just trying to be nice,” Bo says, and Dell gives an almost sad smile.

“Your job isn’t to be nice to me or ask if I’m ill, Bowen. It’s to make sure I get to the places I need to be to do my job. The concern is very kind but it’s not necessary.”

Bo wants to argue, but he won’t. He’s not concerned because he thinks it’s necessary. He’s concerned because over the past two months he’s grown to actually care about him. He won’t say that though, because though Dell would probably just find it funny there’s a major possibility that someone up the chain of command would find it unprofessional. Also, he doesn’t need to give Dell any more ammunition for teasing.

So, they go about the day as normal, Dell being his normally charming self through meetings and lunch and meetings and dinner while Bo sits a few feet to the left, taking notes or answering emails or trying to look occupied. The most awkward hour of the day is when Bo is forced to sit in on Dell’s meal with his girlfriend. He’s seated a table away, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still Bo’s job to eavesdrop on them.

By the end of the day, back in the car to the palace, Dell looks considerably worse. As much as he can look worse. He’s started to sniffle, and he’s definitely more pale than he was this morning. The most worrisome thing is that he’s started to shiver. Bo doesn’t mention it.

They part ways, Bo headed to his small apartment on the palace grounds, Dell headed to a likely gorgeous private wing decorated with art that costs more than Bo’s salary.

The next morning Dell looks worse - his eyes are still bleary, and even in a thick sweater he’s shivering. His nose is a little pink, and he’s carrying a travel packet of tissues when he climbs into the car. It’s a rainy March morning, warm enough to keep snow at bay but cold enough to be unpleasant.

“Should I -” Dell cuts him off, his voice sounding a bit deeper and raspier than normal.

“No, it’s fine. I can manage.” He gives the younger man one of signature charming smiles and Bo feels something in his chest melt a little bit. He tries to shove it down. He should not feel this way about his boss. His straight, taken, totally-out-of-his-league boss. Still, Dell seems to sense his nerves. “Something’s wrong?” He asks, still smirking. Bo feels his cheeks heat.

“No, nothing.” He forces a little smile before burying his face back into his phone, pretending to write an email. 

“What’s on the schedule?” Bo’s grateful to have something concrete to focus on.

“Uh, the garden dedication. Oh, shit.” Dell standing out in the cold drizzle for an hour and a half is not going to be good. They’ve got umbrellas but the cold is bad enough on its own. “We could try -”

“It’s ok,” he gestures to his coat and scarf, “I’m prepared for it.”

“But...” Bo bites his lip.

“You’re worried I’ll catch my death?” Dell teases, and Bo rolls his eyes.

“That’d be a blessing.”

“Then who would bother you all day?”

“I’m sure you’d find a way.

“Right I would.”

Despite all of Dell’s protests, after about five minutes of standing outside for the ceremony he looks miserable. At least Bo can tell he’s miserable. To anyone else he probably looks fairly normal, apart from constantly wiping his nose. It’s baffling how everything he does he manages to make look polite and charming and sophisticated. 

When the event is over, Bo can see the relief in Dell’s entire posture. That is until his mother approaches them.

“Bowen we won’t be needing you for the rest of the day. Consider it some paid time off.”

Bo’s eyebrows furrow but before he can say anything Dell speaks up.

“Why is that?” He seems tense again, though Bo isn’t sure why. Truthfully he’d much rather spend a day following Dell around than home alone watching television, even more so because it’s clear Dell’s walking the line between a cold and something worse. And Bo is well aware no one but him gives a damn about how Dell actually feels. 

“There’s no need, you’ll be with us the rest of the day.”

Dell looks like he wants to argue but he just gives a polite smile. He gives Bo a little nod.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bo hesitates, he wants to object, wants to insist he stay, but he doesn’t. He just nods and takes the car back to the palace, changing out of his semi-damp clothes and into some sweats. The rest of the day passes slowly, and he decides that at 8:30, he’s going to Dell’s room with some tea. He shouldn’t be so worried, but he is, and the only way to get his mind to stop racing is just to confirm that Dell is in fact doing just fine.

At 8:25 he grabs the thermos of tea and sets off toward Dell’s bedroom. He’s been here a few times, mostly on mornings when they can’t wait until they get in the car to talk logistics, but never for any kind of personal reason. He’s not really sure if it’s allowed, but he’ll take the chance.

When he finally arrives to the door it takes him a minute to gather the courage to knock. The door opens slowly to reveal Dell in an oversized t shirt and boxers, flushed and shimmering with sweat, his curls stringy and limp. Bo’s never even seen him in a shirt without buttons, let alone boxers and a t shirt. The room is freezing, Bo can feel it seeping out into the hallway. Dell looks mildly confused, his eyes half lidded.

“Is there something we need to talk about?” His voice is hoarse and broken in places, some of the sounds rounded from congestion. He sniffles wetly.

“No, I uh...” Bo is so taken aback he’s having a hard time formulating a sentence. “I brought some tea.” He holds it out sort of awkwardly, and Dell takes it, cracking a small smile. They stand there in silence for a few moments, and Bo swears he can see the older man swaying on his feet. One of his hands rests on the door frame.

“That’s all?” He asks, and the teasing tone in his voice is apparent. Evidently Dell is never ill enough to let Bo off the hook.

“Yeah, I guess. I mostly wanted to see how your cold was.”

“Worried about me?” He asks, still smiling, and Bo rolls his eyes. he’s about to reply when Dell breaks into a fit of coughs. They sound like they come from deep in his chest, like they hurt. By the time he’s done he’s trembling, all the color gone from his face. “Before you ask, yes, I feel awful.”

“Can I come in?” The words slip out before Bo has a chance to hold them back. Dell raises his eyebrows.

“You wanna come in?”

“Uh, no, I-um, I ju-” Bo mumbles before Dell cuts him off.

“No, it’s fine. Yeah, come in. Sorry, it’s a little bit much.”

Bo hesitantly steps inside and Dell closes the door. Bo’s never actually been inside any of the core royal family member’s suites. The lights are off and the curtains are drawn, but when Dell flips on a lamp Bo’s able to get a decent look.

the room is massive, and though the furniture looks undoubtedly expensive, it doesn’t look how Bo expected it to. It’s more modern and minimal than he anticipated. It doesn’t really match the aesthetics of the rest of the room - the marble floor, intricate wallpaper, fancy wood working all scream excess while all the furniture though obviously well made is understated.

There’s a sitting area with a television, a huge bed, and what appears to be an equally massive bathroom and closet. One of the windows is open, which explains the cold, and Dell waves him over to where he’s sitting on the couch. He sits gingerly, and Dell gives a weary smile. 

“Now you know how the other half lives.”

“That’s not why I wanted to come in.” Dell just raises his eyebrows. “I wanted to just uh, make sure you’re alright.” Dell sighs and rubs his eyes. He sniffles.

“We’ve got tomorrow off, I’ll be fine. Just need some sleep.” He sniffles again, and wipes his red tinged nose with a tissue. Bo’s heart is pounding. 

“You need more than sleep.” He has no idea where he’s getting all this courage. Dell smirks.

“And what do I need?”

“Well you’ve got a fever, clearly, and that cough sounds pretty bad. I don’t know if sleep will do it, especially considering the temperature in here.” Dell looks sort of impressed.

“You wanna look after me.” It’s not a question. Bo freezes.

“I mean...if you wanted somebody to -”

“Bowen, I’ll be honest with you.” Bo’s heart stops completely. “It’s been probably 15 years since I’ve had anyone look after me because I was sick. And even then, no one’s ever done it for free. And I’m pretty sure you know this isn’t part of your job. So my question is, why?”

A thousand thoughts are running through his head, but none of them seem quite right to say out loud. Because he has a desperate crush? Because he’s worried? Because his heart hurts thinking about him all alone sick as he is?

“I care about you. Even though you...hate me, I don’t wanna leave you all alone like this.” Dell laughs softly, and Bo feels his heart sink until he hears him speak.

“Why would you think I hate you?”

“It’s...it’s obvious.” Dell laughs again, this time breaking into a fit of coughs. 

“Christ, Bo.” He shakes his head and pushes his hair off his face. His hands are shaking. “I don’t have the energy or the lung capacity to talk about this right now.” He’s takes an unsteady breath. “Listen, I would be...I would be so fucking grateful if you wanted to look after me. If you wanted to.” 

For once, Bo doesn’t over think his answer.

“Of course I do.” Dell smiles and swallows hard.

“Thank you.” His voice is almost a whisper. Bo’s frozen for a few moments before he breaks their gaze.

“Have you taken anything?” Dell looks confused. “For the fever.”

“The fever?” Bo finally cracks a smile himself.

“I mean, I haven’t checked yet or anything but I think it’s safe to say you’ve got a fever.” He reaches out to test Dell’s forehead but pauses. “can I?”

“Go for it.”

The moment his palm connects with Dell’s overheated skin he winces. It’s worse than he was anticipating. The blonde is absolutely on fire. He tests his cheek, then again with the back of his hand. 

“Your hands are freezing,” Dell mumbles, and Bo wants to push his damp curls out of his eyes but he just pulls his hand back. Dell seems almost disappointed.

“No, you’ve got a fever, it just feels like it. I’ve gotta get a thermometer though to see what exactly we’re dealing with. What else is....what’s going on? Other than the cough.”

“Head hurts. My nose is a fucking mess, too.” Bo hasn’t seen very much but even still he knows what Dell’s talking about. It’s red, peeling a bit around the base of his nostrils, and every few moments he gives a wet sniffle.  

“Well you definitely need some ibuprofen. And water too, probably. And some tissues.”

“I think that’s a fair conclusion.” He shivers, and Bo gets up to close the window. 

“Alright, well I’ll just go back -” Dell cuts him off.

“No, no, I’ve got everything. In the bathroom,” he says, slumped further on the couch, still shivering. 

“Yeah?” Bo’s a bit surprised. It doesn’t seem like Dell would’ve ever had the need for a thermometer. Ibuprofen is a little easier to understand, but even then he can’t picture Dell ever needing any sort of help. Dell just nods, and Bo walks to the bathroom door, too aware of Dell’s eyes on him. He opens the medicine cabinet and though he’s not sure what he expected, it certainly wasn’t shelves of cold and flu remedies. Even more surprising is that they almost all look half-used.

“You getting lost in there?” Dell calls, and Bo snaps back to the current task, grabbing the thermometer and one of the few bottles of ibuprofen. When he steps back into the larger room, Dell’s slumped on the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket.

Bo sits down on the coffee table in front of him and their knees touch. He fiddles with the thermometer for a moment before handing it to Dell, who places it under his tongue. 

“You’ve got a lot of stuff in there,” he says after a few awkward moments of silence and Dell gives a tired smirk. 

“Are you going to ask me about it or is that just an observation?” He says around the small device. Bo tries to backpedal.

“No, I’m - I was just...I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

“And why not?” Dell seems to find it funny, making Bo nervous. 

“I don’t know, I guess -” Dell cuts him off.

“I don’t look like someone who gets sick very often?” He asks, and Bo swallows hard.

“Yeah, I mean I...” Bo tries to think of something that would indicate Dell’s lack of vulnerability. “You’re just always so perfect, I guess.” He almost regrets the words. Is it too obvious to call him perfect? The thermometer beeps before Dell can reply, and Bo’s glad. Well he’s glad until he sees the reading - 102.4. The worry must show on his face because Dell starts to speak.

“What is it?” His voice is so weary.

“102.4, that’s -” Dell cuts him off before he can finish.

“Not so bad. I could probably manage on my own if you don’t want to stay. I wouldn’t hold it against you,” he says, and while for a second Bo thinks it might be some weird guilt trip manipulation tactic, Dell looks completely genuine. Nonchalant even. Bo bites his lip, debating what his response should be. He’s pulled back to reality when Dell starts to sit up.

“Hey, it’s alright, what do you need?” He puts a hand on his shoulder, easing him back into the cushions. Dell looks confused.

“I was gonna grab some water,” he says, and Bo nods.

“Ok, just let me know I’ll get whatever you need.” He’s about to get up when he pauses. “Listen, if you were implying that you want me to leave, I definitely will, but trust me I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to be.”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to work without pay,” he says, and Bo sighs.

“It’s not...I’m...” He doesn’t know how else to phrase it without just admitting he cares for him, and he decides it’s not the most pressing thing to address at the moment. “Whatever. Where’s -”

“The kitchen.” He nods toward an archway near the back of the room, and Bo nods. 

“Alright. I’ll be right back.” He’s already in the small - yet somehow still expensive looking - kitchen when he hears Dell speak again.

“You don’t need to tell me you’ll be right back. I can make the assumption,” he calls, and Bo smiles. He’s a little shocked when he opens the fridge. He was expecting it to be empty - the royal family has a chef on staff - but it’s got a decent supply. It’s healthy food too, which makes Bo smile a bit as well. It’s exactly what he’d expect from Dell, it’s the perfection that seeps into everything he touches. There’s no beer, no half-empty ketchup, no old take out containers or anything that could be considered “dessert”. Even in this place where presumably no one but Dell should ever be, everything is perfect. He grabs a bottle of water and walks back into the main room.

“You cook a lot?” he asks, and Dell nods, taking the bottle. He manages to open it even though his hands are shaking. “I wouldn’t have guessed.” He takes a small sip.

“I guess I’m just a surprising person, hm?” Bo’s almost totally distracted from the matter at hand, but when he gets a better look at Dell’s appearance, he feels a  small pang of worry in his chest. He’s really shivering, his cheeks are flushed and his breath is unsteady, his lips chapped from breathing through his mouth.

“Alright, time for ibuprofen.” He grabs the bottle and shakes two into his palm, passing them to Dell who downs them with a swig of water. He starts to cough right after, almost doubling over and burying his face in his sleeve. Bo’s anxious listening, they sound so desperate, trying so hard to expel the illness that sits so heavy in his chest, moving enough to make his cough sound deep and painful, but not enough to give any real relief. 

When he’s finally done he’s almost hyper ventilating trying to catch his breath, and Bo wishes there was something he could do more than just sit and watch. He places a careful hand on Dell’s shoulder and hands him back the water, which Dell drinks eagerly. He lets out a shaky little laugh.

“Sorry, that’s so gross,” he says, his voice still a bit raw from the coughing fit. Bo frowns.

“It’s not, don’t worry about that.” Dell seems to relax a little beneath his hand, closing his eyes, and Bo uses to other to feel his forehead. He probably should’ve asked first, but Dell doesn’t seem to mind, letting out a small contented sigh. He’s really burning, Bo thinks it’s probably safe to say this is the worst fever he’s ever felt. He pulls his hand away. “I’m gonna grab something,” he says, and Dell nods, eyes still closed.

He grabs a washcloth from the bathroom and soaks it in cold water. He wringing out the excess when he hears Dell’s voice.

“Are you coming right back? You didn’t specify.” 

“How can you be so sick and still have energy to tease me?” He asks, arriving back at the couch. He presses the washcloth to Dell’s forehead and he lets out a small sigh of relief, eyes fluttering shut.

“Fuck,” he breathes, and Bo moves it to the side of his throat. 

“I haven’t used one of these in forever,” he mumbles, and Bo furrows his eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” He flips the compress over, laying the cool side back on his forehead. 

“They’re hard to use. You have to lay really still.” Bo decides it’s finally time to ask the question that’s been eating at him.

“You get sick a lot?” Dell opens his eyes, a little smile on his lips.

“What gave you that idea, Sherlock?” Bo gives an indignant laugh.

“I mean I thought so but, I don’t know, it seemed like a personal question.” Dell raises his eyebrows.

“Well I think it should be pretty obvious. Considering how much we see each other.”

“What?” Bo’s very confused now, and Dell looks surprised, but expression quickly changes to one of understanding.

“How many times have you seen me sick, Bo?” It sounds like a trick question.

“Once. Today. Or twice I guess if you count yesterday.” Dell rubs his eyes.

“Well my mother hired you in January, I believe, so that’s two months. In winter no less.” He stops a moment, as if he’s calculating. “I’ve honestly been sick more often than not, I just thought you knew.”

“What? No, of course I didn’t know. I never - fuck, Dell, I -” His heart feels like it’s breaking. Dell, on the other hand, looks sort of amused.

“It’s ok, really. I like you a little more now though to be honest. I always assumed you just didn’t give a shit, but -”

“Of course I do! I -” He stutters, trying to sift through his memories to find out how he missed this. He’s shocked into silence when Dell puts a hand on his shoulder, then on his cheek. His expression has softened.

“It’s ok. Really. I’ll admit I try not to let it interfere with anything, I guess it’s just obvious to me because I’m the one who feels like shit, but I guess it’s good to hear the facade is almost flawless. You noticed this morning, but I guess this is also an exceptionally shitty cold or flu or whatever.” He takes his hand back, and only then Bo registers how warm it was. He sets his jaw.

“Do you wanna sleep here or in bed?” Dell seems taken aback.

“Uh, bed, I guess?” Bo gives a quick nod and pulls him up, supporting him for the short distance. When he’s seated on the bed, Bo wordlessly starts to collect the thermometer, his water bottle, the extra blanket. When he gets back, he slides the thermometer under his tongue.

“What’s going on?” He says around the device, and Bo gives him a serious look.

“I’m making up for the last two months.”

[toxicpineapple]

Please give me your amami essay, I'd like to know the TEA! I was also gonna ask for the mastermind essay, but honestly I REALLY wanna hear your thoughts on his characterization (and your thoughts on his shitty fanon characterization)

HOOO BOY OKAY. this is good, it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on reading that new amasai fic on the latest feed. (note that i REALLY WANT TO READ IT, i’m just anticipating commenting and tbh the spoons,,, i lack them. it’s okay though i’ll get over it.)

so!!! let’s start with general attitude, because i think that amami’s is really unique. he’s a subversive character. in general i feel like that was the biggest goal with his character design and personality combination-- he looks like a total playboy, kaede even comments as much moooore than once. but he’s the absolute opposite. i’ll rant about that in a bit. i’ve already gone off on a tangent and i said i was gonna talk about attitude.

amami is laid back, but not to the point of complacency. y’know what i mean? like, he’s relaxed, but he’s on his guard, too. his speaking style is pretty casual (typically he’ll greet people with a “hey,” whenever he’s slightly uncomfortable he’ll probably say “haha”... this isn’t necessarily a canon thing but i like it when people have him talking in sentence fragments. ex. “forgot to grab my jacket” or “wanted to get a snack” sort of thing) and that’s just,,, the type of person he is. he’s casual. it’s remarkable considering how wealthy amami is-- though bear in mind, he still IS wealthy, so there are bound to be things he doesn’t understand about people-- that he can be so normal and like, down to earth, in a way. when people mess around with him he’ll probably just laugh it off.

to cite a fic i read once that had REALLY phenomenal characterisation, imo, ouma ends up dumping a bucket of water on amami’s head (on accident; there are some semantics and i won’t get into it but again the fic is really good and funny and you should totally read it) and amami just squeezes out his shirt and makes a couple cracks before walking away. (sorry this isn’t meant to be a “dumping love on fics” post but GOD that fic is hysterical.) he’s an enabler too, at least i think so-- remember that anthology chapter where kaede, shuichi, and kaito are trying to catch ouma and kaito sets an “amami trap” to stop him? all ouma has to do is flutter his eyelashes and go “pleeeaaase let me go amam~niichan!” and then he just. he does. what a fucking doormat i can’t believe him.

he’s like that though. i feel like big brother stuff is kind of his weakness. (and not in a kinky way alright i will destroy you. he might make a joke about having a sister complex in one of his ftes but he DOESNT that joke was just tasteless COME ON RANTARO WHFKLDSJFK) which brings me to his whole older brother thing, because like,,, YEAH. guy grew up with twelve younger sisters!!! and he remarked in his ftes with shuichi that they’re mostly step sisters, which means he just.... has a nurturing personality. i mean amami is somewhat conservative (if you try to come on to him during salmon mode you will be brutally rebuffed; amami tells u to keep your horny thoughts to yourself, though you shouldn’t be ashamed of having them) so i imagine he’s not the biggest fan of his father’s tendencies-- not that i don’t NECESSARILY interpret his father’s behaviour as him sleeping around.... it’s possible he just likes children and deliberately marries women who already have kids so he can take them... i mean it’s exceedingly decent to keep considering ur step children to be your children after a divorce so i have a hard time reconciling this common image of rantaro’s dad as some kind of player figure with the impression i got of him in my head but that’s just my daddy issues coming into play again so ignore me-- and yet he still considers all his sisters to be his sisters.

not to mention he feels a great deal of like, responsibility, when it comes to taking care of them. i find it impossible to believe that all the losses were his fault. you could ARGUE that the one he tells you about with his younger sister was to be blamed on him? but i mean, amami is a child. he didn’t even know his sister was following him out. sure he blames himself for it but there’s no real good way to blame him just considering that,,, he’s a kid. and he was so young-- he was obviously so young-- when it happened. so like, not to be all Good and Bad on you, but i do feel that amami is fundamentally a good reason. and you SEE that too, in the killing game. i’m certain he was on the fence about trusting that note he woke up with. would you trust it? he had no memory whatsoever of writing it, all he had were the words “ultimate hunt” and a map of the school to guide his way. i imagine he wasn’t even sure if he should do what the note said. but then ryoma started talking about sacrificing himself for everyone else, and rantaro probably thought, “well... if i have a way to get us out of here, even if it doesn’t work, i can’t just let ryoma sacrifice himself without having tried.”

rantaro is self-reliant too, i think. in the talent development plan mukuro remarks that she noticed he was injured a good number of times, but never said anything about it because she felt like he was trying to keep it under wraps. (note: good idea for an amami and mukuro friendship fic. must write. someone remind me.) i think amami kind of feels isolated from his classmates? either because he has these perceived notions of like, independence and whatever, not burdening anybody else with his problems (honestly not to go chabashira on main but wtf men ask for help c’mon i promise if you find a person who’s worth being in ur life they won’t treat you like shit for feeling ur feelings) or just because he’s not around a lot. i think amami is the type of person to invalidate his own problems a lot, or at least downplay them to others. he blames himself for all his sisters going missing, took the responsibility to find them all. you know the blow that’s going to be to his education? traveling around the world looking for twelve different people? and he plans to keep doing that!!! forever!!! ugh ;-; poor babey. but anyway i feel like he doesn’t want to tell anybody about his problems because he feels like it’s his thing to deal with.

i also believe that rantaro is a bit prideful. i mean, anyone can be prideful under the correct circumstances, and in fact there is a great deal of pride that simply isn’t addressed by the fandom in analysing characters and that makes me really sad because pride is such a SEXY character flaw but i’ll leave that alone for now. he hates being told to give up on what he’s doing. i mean everyone in his life has been telling him to stop looking for his sisters. that’s got to suck, but also, DAMN look at what his reaction was. this utter refusal to open up to anybody. shuichi’s ftes with him are spent pretty much just trying to get amami to stop squirreling around and actually TALK to him. amami asks shuichi at one point if he has any siblings and when the response is negative, amami immediately assumes that shuichi wouldn’t understand, would tell him to quit. just like everyone else.

(i mean, even with kiyo and mukuro, whose circumstances mirror his almost painfully at least in willingness to sacrifice stuff for their siblings, he doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, just that he’s doing it for his sister-- singular-- and that he would do anything for her. kiyo and mukuro!! out of ANYBODY, they would understand. in tdp they DO talk about it-- kiyo encourages him to keep searching-- as his friend...... fuck amaguji is such a good ship even if the implications of kiyo saying he wants to meet rantaro’s sister after he finds her bc she must be suuuuch a good person if he’s doing all this for her are uhhh not great-- and mukuro immediately understands when he says it’s to do with his younger sister. like, full stop. she just goes “okay” and goes serious. all at once. damn rantaro, mukuro, and kiyo really do be a power trio huh. i need to write more fic about them i miss them.)

this is more into baseless conjecture so take this as you will, but i also think rantaro is kind of,,, easily distracted lmao. he mentions helping out a village with a disease-- been a while since i’ve seen his ftes, sorry for any inconsistencies-- among other shit and like... bro what are you DOING. you have sisters to find. and he can’t be getting injured all the time, getting wrapped up with gang violence and all that, looking for people who were lost traveling. i mean sure, you could say they went all over the world and got wrapped up in all sorts of mess, but more likely they stayed in roughly the same area, waiting for him to come back. and also? i have a hard time believing his sisters were lost in these remote forest places people always put them. COME ON, who the fuck goes to some village for a vacation? a RICH person no less. i’m on another tangent. sorry. but yeah, i love the people who write rantaro as an absolute airhead. i headcanon that he has no way of judging the passing of time and thus is the absolute worst in the bathroom bc he sits there for twenty minutes thinking about the universe and then walks out like “:) ok ready to go” like wtf are you even doing there stupid akljdf anyway.

i think rantaro is softhearted and thoughtful. in his ftes with kaede he demonstrates an ability to look past what people show at surface level-- you can ask him about miu, kiibo, or kiyo and he’ll give u Good Fucking Insight(tm)-- and analyse their intentions more closely. and i mean this is just from a couple day’s interaction. he’s down to earth for sure, understanding when people are intimidated but also caring and observant. (his “talk about a first impression” line is so fuckaindgf.... good for his characterisation. i love romantic amamatsu but he so clearly takes an older brother role in those ftes, he’s really such a sweetheart,,,, hnadhfkj ;w;) rantaro is just. he’s patient with people. and selfless and kind. idk it’s all the good stuff. warm smiles and indulgence. all the way. probably lets kokichi steal his lunch.

THAT BEING SAID: i think rantaro also has a very serious streak. he doesn’t show it a lot but there are moments. he’s self-sacrificing-- i mean, obviously. he was the ultimate survivor, after all. some people hc that he got there by killing, or maybe everyone else in his game died but one person, but bro that doesn’t make any sense???? no. what happened was there were probably like three people left, and monokuma was like “one has to be sacrificed” and rantaro thought, welp. it’ll be me then. and i wouldn’t say the choice would be immediate because rantaro DOES has self preservation instincts-- he’s only human-- but i don’t think he’d have let anybody else make that decision. i think ultimately he would try to protect other people.

he can be scarily confrontational too. i do believe he’d usually only do it in the defense of others-- like, his base instinct is to protect. i read a fic once (oumami, unfortunately) where ouma was committing crimes and went to hide behind rantaro and rantaro instinctively moved to protect him, and that’s.... that’s good characterisation. point one to the oumami stans, point zero to me. motherfucker. (love u oumami stans, it’s just not my thing.) i really like it in fics when he’s stern, lecturing people for hurting other people, but i also think rantaro is too understanding to be truly unforgiving. like if two people got into an argument and one came out of it more hurt than the other, i don’t believe that amami would be unsympathetic to the less hurt one. i think he’s mature enough to take a look at the situation and go, well, okay.

i think he’d be TERRIFYING when angry. he’s patient, y’know? so it takes a lot to get him to that point. he’s really, ah, accommodating of people. puts up with a lot of bs kind of thing. but i imagine the best way to get him to snap is by hurting someone he cares about. and at that point: ur fucked. i’ve never written it before because i’m terrified of what i’d do with that kind of power but.... imagine the shuichi whump. holy god.

i’m NOT here to talk about shuichi whump (though i’m down to do that any time of day believe me) so i’m gonna like. shhhhiiiiiiffft.

i project on characters a lot so at this point it’s difficult to distinguish if some of my characterisation things are like, actually characterisation things? or just me venting, so like, take nothing i say as canon, but also,,, akdsjf we love a man who bottles up his emotions.

because rantaro just doesn’t have the TIME to be crying all over the place. he was probably a total wreck when he lost his first sister. and his second. and maybe even his third. but then he started to gather his composure, more and more. because if there’s anything that rantaro has in excess, it’s composure. the more losses he suffers the more of a shield he builds up. and the self hatred and the guilt and the blame and the responsibility are piling up and up and up, but god he hates it when other people see him sad, because he needs to be the strong one, he can’t just pile that up on other people. that’s not their weight to carry, and besides, he’s the older brother, he should be able to deal with his own problems. he’d just be burdening the people he cares about by letting them see his demons.

and then he doesn’t have any coping mechanisms because he never lets himself feel enough to cope, and when people get close enough to actually CARE about him, when people notice he’s upset or struggling and offer him help, he doesn’t know how to deal with it-- and god he hates lashing out at people but it’s so much easier to deal with the consequences of being mean than the consequences of breaking down. only conflict is scary when he’s one of the causes so he needs time to recover, and well, what better way to do that than to get on a plane or a boat and go look for his sisters? after all he’s wasting time whenever he’s just sitting around, they’re still out there and he needs to find them, so might as well just keep pushing himself to the limits, because it’s his fault they’re lost anyway...

something mukuro said to rantaro in the talent development plan stuck in my brain. like, initially it’s just a funny and cute interaction (rantaro even blushes and a blushing rantaro is a GOOD FUCKING RANTARO) but when i thought about it more i was like.... huh. hm. angst ideas. mukuro makes a joke about rantaro going over to her stand at the festival to flirt with her-- i think that’s the context, i know it’s play-boy related-- and rantaro assures her (as he always does) that he’s not that kind of guy, and mukuro agrees, saying she was just pulling his leg and that he seems like the kind of person who gets dumped because he doesn’t show his emotions enough. rantaro laughs, blushes, and says “haha, not touching that one,” and akdjfnnnnnn god mukuro you’re so blunt i love you fkdjf but wow. i usually have rantaro as not having dated anyone, just because i feel like he kind of hyperfocuses on finding his sisters? and given that he’s like sixteen (seventeen at the MOST) there’s not much of a timeline for when his sisters got lost. in my fic search i had to cram all the losses into a four-year period and damn that was rough. anyway i just don’t think he’d really prioritise romance. but that reaction implies that that’s EXACTLY his experience with romance, which makes a bit of sense because mukuro is ridiculously sharp, and also it’s,, it’s just sad idk poor rantaro. getting dumped because he’s like the emotional equivalent of a doorknob when it comes to his own feelings.

i do think rantaro is a bit cowardly. not in the sense that he’d shy away from danger-- i think he’d RUSH INTO IT HEAD FIRST because he’s a man or whatever, i know he respects women but he does seem to hold some of those very stereotypically masculine ideals of constantly protecting those around him, which is like.... ok toxic masculinity mcgee can u and kaito stop throwing hands every time u see each other ty-- but more in the sense that he avoids,,, confrontation. emotional confrontation just ain’t his thing. and i think he’d rather run away from it or otherwise find some way of ignoring it than try to address his problems.

he would, with that in mind, probably try to associate with people who don’t push the matter. kiyo and mukuro, for example. they both have a fair amount of baggage themselves so they’d probably be respectful. ryoma is lowkey enough that he just, he wouldn’t bring that shit up, that’s uncool. i also think rantaro would get along REALLY WELL with kaito, and i actually don’t think kaito would pull his sidekick stuff with him? just because in a way they’re kind of kindred spirits, and i think kaito would see an ally in rantaro before seeing someone to try to nurture, so they’d probably have some kind of a truce like, if you don’t force me to be vulnerable, i won’t force you. one of the reasons why i love amamota so much is because it involves the two of them growing to care about each other beyond that sort of unhealthy camaraderie and breaking down each other’s barriers and i just..... hhnnfhhdkfj they could be so good for each other but nobody wants to talk about thatjslfkj

you weren’t asking for my amamota mess lmao sorry anon i get sidetracked SO easily. but yeah, amami gravitates towards people who wouldn’t try to get him to be more honest with himself. and i honestly think the v3 cast would be pretty good about that overall, except for shuichi who is a detective and has a habit of sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but i see no reason to write that out because amami’s ftes already display that beautifully. (well, that’s a lie, i’m absolutely plotting out a slowburn in my head already that involves shuichi stripping down his walls one by one, but forget about all of that rn we don’t need to talk about why amasaimota is my ot3.) also he is softer on childish people like ouma and himiko. ain’t nobody wants to TALK TO ME about how brilliant it would be if rantaro and hiyoko were friends because hiyoko has such problems in that department and he would take one look at her and go hm. i’m adopting her. and he’s so fucking patient and nice and she’d lose the will to make fun of him and i have to do ALL THE GODDAMN WORK AROUND HERE but it’s fine. at least i get to write it.

i’ve described the fundamentals of his characterisation pretty well by now i think. i have some throwaway headcanons, like uhh,,

he’s claustrophobic

plays the guitar and the ukulele

he prefers warm weather and perishes in the cold

high pain tolerance

he’s a Good Cook

doesn’t like sex jokes (they make him uncomfortable)

asexual (i do like a good demisexual hc at all times of day tho)

master of piggyback rides

does his own piercings

impulsive as hell

gets lost easily but can always find his way back

has a lot of scars from travels

hands are rough and calloused (again from travels)

morning person

smells like evergreen (you know i had to, you know i did)

Radiates Heat Like A Fucking Toaster Oven

good hugs

hates tying his shoelaces

likes being the big spoon :)

has a tongue piercing

i said “some throwaway headcanons” but i ended up listing way more than i mean to. i’ll make a separate list of my rantaro headcanons someday and talk about them all in detail but for now, uh, there’s that.

SO AS FOR THE RANTARO CHARACTERISATIONS I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE:

god where to fucking begin. actually i know exactly where to begin. it’s my least favourite one just because, like i said at the very beginning, rantaro is a subversive character. i mean i think he’s kind of a low hanging fruit when it comes to that. there are plenty of other subversive characters in the dr series but rantaro is like that. you expect a flirt and u get,,, a sweetheart. but then some people (usually the ones who ship him with female characters exclusively though i will see it on occasion in an amasai or oumami fic) decide to throw that out the window and make him a total playboy!! and listen, i have no problem with people who are a little flirty. we’re kids!! flirt ur heart out!!! and hey, that’s not what this is about but y’know what? so long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, then yeah!! exercise your sexual freedom and sleep with whoever you want to!!! i don’t think there’s anything wrong with messing around a little, dating who u wanna and experimenting with ur tastes and preferences. if rantaro WAS a playboy, then there would be nothing wrong with that. i would love him just the same because he’s such a fundamentally GOOD character.

except that.... he’s.......... NOT. you slaughter one of the biggest aspects of his character by throwing away what matters to him and making him some hunky-deep-voice-dreamboat dude meant to sweep kaede/tsumugi/whomsteverthefuck off her feet. rantaro is one of those characters where he’s so blatantly not that kind of person, and it’s like. it’s an affront, almost, to portray him that way? and i do believe you should have the freedom to write what you want, since we’re in that age (aside from romanticised pedophilia and incest; that shit ain’t cute, i say this often but pro-ship DNI) where u should be able to take some liberties, but it’s just. hnnn. it’s so frustrating. rantaro does not know how to smolder! if he DID smolder, he wouldn’t even realise he was doing it. he doesn’t have people lying at his feet, okay? he’s too flaky for that. i wouldn’t say he’s unreliable but he definitely ain’t at school as much as he should be.

another one that i hate: st-stalker? what the fuck? that is not sexy that is creepy and weird?

another another one that i hate: yandere? what the FUCK??? that is not sexy that is glorified ABUSE???? the yandere trope is AWFUL bc you’re taking a controlling relationship and turning it into a fetish. NO. if he limits ur contact with other people, if he follows u everywhere, if he threatens ur loved ones, if he tries to control you, ladies and gents and nonbinaries, he’s not a yandere, he’s an abuser and you need a fucking restraining order. actually, people of ANY gender or sex can perpetuate this behaviour and IT IS NOT CUTE. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOUNDARIES U SET IN PLACE, IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEING RESTRICTED THAT IS ABUSE.

hate it when people make rantaro violent. hate it when people make rantaro a murderer. hate it when people make rantaro controlling. hate it when people make rantaro overtly sexual. some kind of sultry deep voice dominant kind of figure. dude, what the fuck? i don’t,, want to make any public comments about sex positions because i think that’s kind of Strange to just talk about on a post, but i do think that the way people portray him for their smuts is,,, idk it’s weird. i’m not gonna kinkshame u but like. :eyes:

i will however accept rantaro as a thrillseeker, or a highstrung rich boy, or a total space cadet, or a himbo, or a cryptid. these are all very good interpretations of the Mans. just, like. be wary of making him two dimensional. a good character is multifaceted. if you can take a trait that clashes with all of these and SELL ME ON IT, i will buy it. if u give me good justifications, or even just good writing?? then i will accept it.

the long and the short of it is, anon, he’s my favourite so i think about him a lot. i love writing rantaro. he’s just, he’s a Guy. y’know? He’s A Good Dude, If You’ll Give Him A Shot. :) we don’t get to see very much of him but i think that there’s plenty of material if you overanalyse everything, which, as you probably all know by now,,,, i absolutely do.

thank you for the ask, this was a delight to spend an hour talking about.

[mauserfrau]

Mau's Very Silly Headcanon Post

Since I have two pieces of fiction going live this weekend and they’re both going to be late due to butting into each other XD.

I did another one here and there’s going to be some overlap, but less bodily function stuff in this one (mostly spit) (also some vague references to medical trauma).

A lot of this is small potatoes because I didn’t want to spoil anything.  How Phaseleech actually works ends up being a plot point in what I have pending, so I actually can’t just come out and say what’s going on.  That said, I’m sure there are people here who want to know what’s on my mind, but who don’t want to sit through 50K words with half a dozen squick warnings.

That said: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauser_Frau

Questions welcome, about this, anything else I think about Borderlands, what exactly is in Chapter 13 of Satellite, if it’s true the one flashback actually happened to Mom... 

Both

-Look, the only thing I did that’s appreciably off-canon is let them have emotions.  Maybe I drove into left field with what those emotions were, but that’s really all anybody’s got to do to fix this situation.  Go with the deity of your choice.  

-If I was headed for a Gearbox ending, it would be for the scrapped one, not the one we got.  See this and this other thing.

>>>I would still have written the twins as having something resembling a meaningful relationship regardless of whether that turned out romantic or not.  As things went and are, them as a couple was something I knew how to write and my mom shipped them (no, I’m not kidding).  

-I’m not going for a canon ending.  Mercy, did I find a thread I could snap and take the whole sweater out.  

-Both had blue siren markings when they were born; Troy’s turned red after they were separated.

--Which was a complicated mess-- they were upside-down verses each other and had several secondary adhesions, the most notable of which was Tyreen’s face to Troy’s thigh.

---Leda never 100% recovered from the emotional or physical trauma, but she put on a brave face for the last sevenish years of her life.  

---Troy’s tissue loss was severe and left him with a notable pit in his upper right side.

---Tyreen also has heavy scarring running from her right armpit to her right hip.  It’s not as complex, but it is very visible.  Missing a fair amount of intestine compared to the average human, but this has apparently never bothered her beyond the fact that visiting the toilet when you don’t eat is not fun.

-Semi-identical twins. Have 82.5% of their genes in common.  LSS, neither one is a parasite.  They’re two sperm plus one egg and they didn’t divide right.

--Ms. Phaseleech* didn’t know any better.  #oops  

--If you get them relaxed enough, they will indeed curl up together in their “fish” position.

-Tyreen is the one who would wail first if separated from her brother when they were very small, but they don’t like being apart even as adults.  

-Both very well-read, used to recite The Odyssey to congregants instead of scripture (‘cause they didn’t have any scripture). 

-Good to excellent hunters. Depends what they’re hunting and if they’re together.  Prefer to go barefoot if there’s no one else around.

-The circumstances surrounding Leda’s death are appreciably worse than fanon baseline to the point I don’t think I ought to leave them lying around in a Tumblr post.  

-Both have wavy hair if they don’t iron the daylights out of it.

-Prefer to be on the road and around people, even if a fair amount of those people are going to end up dinner.

-Get weirdly soft-hearted around kids, especially little boys with a similar complexion to their own.

-Do they have any concept that they’re horrible people? Yes, but it’s very academic and not something that motivates them.  You’d be way more likely to hear them frame themselves as hedonists, which also explains their worldview to a certain extent.  

~*~

Troy

-Skinnier than most other Troys.  You could put him in a room with every fandom Troy and sort them by muscle mass, you’d find him at the bottom end, partying like this was an accomplishment.  

-Has an X-linked connective tissue disorder which is more extensive than he lets on.  He really should not do about 90% of the stunts he does because of the vascular involvement.

-Made a categorical decision to treat the associated pain with a lot of cannabis and massage.  Has a distinct resin and honey body butter smell because of this.

--Also, if you get him off-hours, there’s going to be a fair amount of “but why are we here, man?” discussion.

-Has a kink in his upper back.  His spine tilts to his right.  Not super noticeable, but if you were on massage duty, you’d realize something felt out of place.  

-Used to get catastrophic nosebleeds, though these have lessened in frequency and severity over the years.  

-After a certain point, has a permanent latching socket port installed on his right side, allowing him to switch arms out as he likes.

--Because he has a selection of eccentric ones.  What? It’s a challenge to learn to use non-human aspects like claws or feathers or forty joints in a tentacle.  

--Still flounces around without one if nobody of consequence is watching and generally won’t sleep with one in.

-The insides of his ear gauges are messy and don’t even get him started on changing the jewelry on any, erm, other piercings he might have.  (Nipples and one off-center PA.  That was QUITE enough after what it took for his tattoos to cooperate.) 

-Will frame any illness or off-day as a migraine, which he does get.

-Had really bad teeth before his mouth mods.  After that, has none of his natural teeth remaining.  Primarily uses his exceptional bite radius to annoy others, show off, eat sandwiches in a disturbing fashion and do unspeakable things in bed.  They’re for show.  They’re not functional in any serious way.  

-Doesn’t have great control of said mouth mods in the heat of passion or if you get him laughing hard enough.  Hope you like spit!

-Still has rather heinous-looking feet, but he’s concerned about losing his calluses if he has them fixed.  You’d be more likely to see him open on an operating table than barefoot in public.  

-Always wants to be the little spoon.  You’re a tink? You’re a third his size? So what.  He wants to be the little spoon.  Just give in.

-Genuinely likes tea, especially flower-based tea.  Favorite foods include grits, polenta, tamales, campfire beefy rice, beef and broccoli layered onto somebody else’s leftover noodles, beef curry, beef sandwiches soaked in jus, steak tips on day-old fries and look just give him a sloppy plate of starch and dead cow if you need him to shut up.  

-Drinks vodka so cold and over-filtered it tastes like water, then follows it up with extra greasy, burnt-to-hell texas toast while talking about his mother.

-Lactose intolerant.  Please do not feed the rat child pizza. Or chipped beef on toast.  No, not even if he begs.  

~*~

Tyreen

-Abnormally acute senses, especially hearing/smell and including a form of intuition which targets where things she can leech exist nearby.  She’s only aware of any of this in the context of it being different from how Troy’s senses work.  She knows where to get food.  Don’t most people?

-Doesn’t perceive herself as 100% human.  The Leech is part of her and she likes herself.  Mama said she was perfect.  The details are whatever.  You got a problem here? Well, that’s easy to fix… 

-Would have been sorted as a tomboy growing up, but had no companions to do so.  As is, prefers the company of masculine individuals, loves showing people up in a boyish fashion and is absolutely going to tune you out if you start talking to her about the topic.  

-Reeks.  You might smell something “off” with her around in a meeting room, but get her sweaty or worked up and forget it.  It’s not even a human smell.  Petrichor and spray paint, menstrual blood and chlorine, dead leaves and solvent.  It’s chemical, it’s uncannily biological.  It’s really not OK.  She can’t smell it and Troy’s used to it.  

-Doesn’t shave.  Has fluffy armpits that don’t match her dye job and a rather spectacular bush that extends onto her upper thighs.  Does pluck here brows and the witch hairs on her chin, but otherwise, you know what, nah.

-Heavily tattooed, but this is limited to her torso.  The viewing of said tattoos, as well as her scars, is a ritual in her particular CoV.  

--Not that she cares about being naked.  A body is a body.  You people are so uptight.  

-Will reflexively guard her lower stomach before anything else and sometimes in error.  Do not call her on this.  You will piss her off.  

-Has an eye-shaped siren marking, but it’s on her left shoulder blade and she tends to forget it’s there.  More aware of the “pointer mark” underneath her navel.

-Poor tolerance for any drugs.

-Can only ingest salt, sucrose and 80 proof or better clear alcohol without retching.

--Which is to say she doesn’t eat “people food”.  

--Fatty or high-fiber foods tend to make her ill faster.  She could possibly keep tofu or chicken breast down for an hour or more, but it’s still not going to end well.  

--Can and does eat cinder toffee because it’s one of the few things she can chew and digest.  Konpeito is nice too, but sometimes the dye upsets her stomach.  

--Milk, maybe.  Human works better.

-Enjoys swimming or long baths.

-Ambidextrous.  Was either born that way or picked up doing certain things left-handed because that’s what her brother had to work with and she had to show him how to do stuff somehow.

-Good with a forearm-mounted crossbow.  Either hand is fine.

-Used to drool precipitously when she leeched something “good”.  Mostly has a handle on this by the time the CoV gets to be a thing.  Mostly.  

-Deeply immature love language which might include her actually asking to play with her prospective partner and a good bit of bullying.

-SHE IS NOT SHY ABOUT HER NEEDS AND KINKS.  THE HELL WITH YOU.  YOU’RE MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.  HOW DARE YOU.  DO YOU WANT TO BE SKAG BAIT ON THE NEXT LIVESCREAM.  UGH. #nottsundereatall

~*~

* The Leech IDed herself as, erm, herself in some stuff I’m not sure I’ll ever post but ANYWAY.

[zoeygreensimblr]

Cruel Summer (Episode 54)

"I invited your parents over for dinner tonight" Angus drops this bombshell on me as we are walking into the OBGYN, "I feel like we need to tell them about the baby because Annabelle was grilling me yesterday about why you weren't drinking at two events now and how Steph swears she got your measurements right for your costume, if they've figured it out then it's only a matter of time before your parents do too and I'd rather it come from us first." I'd been trying to avoid having to announce the pregnancy to my parents, my mother especially, considering how elated she had been on Monday, finding out I had gotten into Brichester.

"Great, so I'm going to announce to my mother that I, her 19 year old daughter who just got into Uni, is pregnant with her first grandchild and I have to do this without any alcohol to calm my nerves" I stress, we step onto the elevator and he takes my hand.

"It will all be ok Princess, I'll be with you and so will Tess and Brian" He tries to reassure me but I can feel the panic rising inside me. We reach the level that the doctors offices are on and check in with the receptionist, she hands us a form to fill out.

"Oh, your surname's Green? That's my husbands surname too" The receptionist remarks when I hand the form back to her filled in, I take a look at her name tag, oh shit!!

"Just a coincidence I'm sure" I tell her, knowing exactly who she is referring to, "Can I ask who I'm seeing today?" Please don't say Dr Green, please don't say Dr Green.

"You're seeing Dr Candice Ashbury" Eliza Pancakes, the receptionist tells me and I feel relieved.

We take our seats in the waiting area, our appointment is still another ten minutes away, I rest my head on Angus' shoulder.

"So, it turns out today can get worse, My Father is a doctor here" I tell Angus, feeling even more on edge now.

"Are you sure?" Angus questions me, he places his arm around me.

"The receptionist is the woman he left My Mother for, she worked for him, or at the same clinic, well that's how I remember hearing the story" I explain, it all happened so long ago.

"You never told me that your Father was a doctor" Angus remarks.

"I think I blocked it out but when the receptionist said her husband's surname was Green it all came flooding back to me, His name is Liam Green" I tell Angus, pointing to a plaque that confirms that Dr. L. Green does work there.

"Fuck" Angus exclaims before looking over at me, "Are you alright baby?"

"I am if I don't have to see him but the longer we sit here chances are I'm going to lay eyes on the dirtbag and I don't think I can hold back" I fret. I see two doctors, one male, the other female, approach the desk and grab patient files.

"Zoey Green" The female doctor calls out, Angus and I jump to our feet and begin to follow the doctor to her office but I'm fully aware that the male doctor is watching us and we lock eyes as I walk past him, I take in his appearance, grey hair, tall and skinny, well dressed, he looks different from the man I remember but I recognise his eyes because they match my own.

Once inside the the doctors office I relax slightly but still worry that he could get a hold of my information, that he could find out where we live, not that I think he would be a threat to either Tess or myself but I really don't want anything to do with him.

"Good Morning Zoey and Angus, My name is Dr Ashbury but you can call me Candice because we are going to be spending a lot of time together over the next year" Candice introduces herself, "Zoey I'll get you to lay on the table here and I'm going to examine you"

I make my way over to the examining table as Candice looks over my file.

"So you're around 4 to 5 weeks pregnant I see, is this your first pregnancy?" She asks me.

"Yes, so I have really no idea what to expect" I tell her

"Well feel free to ask me any questions, even if you think they are stupid questions, they're not, your concerns are important to me and I've heard it all" She says as she rolls up my t-shirt and squirts some cold liquid onto my belly.

"I have a question but it's not about the baby" I say nervously, Angus comes to stand on the other side of the table and takes my hand.

"Shoot" Candice prompts me as she goes over my belly, doing an ultrasound.

"No-one else can access our personal information can they? I mean no other doctor who works here can look up my address or contact information?" I fret to my doctor and she looks at me with curiosity.

"Zoey's estranged Father is a doctor here, we didn't know until today" Angus explains to Candice

"Ah ok, well I will lock your file with a password so no-one but myself can access it" Candice reassures me, "Now are you ready for some big news?" She asks us.

"That I'm pregnant?" I laugh, five weeks in and it's less scary hearing it from doctors.

"That you're pregnant with twins" Candice says, pointing to two small spots on the monitor. I look up at Angus, his eyes wide, mouth gapping open.

"We're having twins" I whisper to him, I had prepared myself for one baby, never considering there could be more than one. Angus looks down at me and smiles widely.

"We're having twins Princess" He says to me, putting my nerves at ease, he leans down and kisses me.

Candice prints out our scan and puts it into a small folder for us to take home.

"Three more weeks and we will be able to hear the heartbeats" Candice tells us, "How are you coping with the morning sickness?"

"Some days it's good, I eat small meals and stay away from certain foods, plus I drink a lot of peppermint tea and eat dry crackers but other days it's so intense and nothing helps" I complain.

"I can prescribe something for you if you want" Candice offers but I shake my head

"I can handle it for now but I'll keep that in mind" I say, still trying to wrap my head around the news.

We thank Candice and leave her office, making sure that my Father is nowhere in sight but as we are stepping into the elevator there he is, already waiting inside.

"Going down?" He asks us, waiting to push the button.

"Ah yeah, thanks" Angus says, putting his arm around me, we ride in silence until we reach the parking lot in the basement.

"I have a daughter named Zoey, she'd be around your age too" My father decides to tell me once we are off the elevator

"You've got some nerve, making claims on a child you abandoned" Angus yells at Liam.

"So you are her? You're my daughter?" Liam asks me, ignoring Angus

"I'm Ruth and Don's daughter, you're nothing to me" I scream at him, "You made no effort to be part of our lives so don't you dare think you're entitled to call yourself my Father"

"Is that what your mother told you? That I made no effort? I tried to get shared custody and she blocked me and placed a restraining order against me, she and that nasty fucker she married stopped me from seeing my girls" Liam tells me but I don't believe him, I know my mother would never have stopped us from seeing him, he was the one who left us and never came back.

"You're a liar, you cheated on my Mother and left her to raise two children on her own without any money and Don stepped up and raised your children while you were fucking your receptionist"  I say as I storm off towards my car, Angus close behind me.

I'm so angry on the drive home, going over what that lying dirtbag said, how he claimed he made effort but my Mother blocked him from seeing us.

"I'll call around and try to get us a new doctor" Angus offers but I shake my head

"No, I like Candice, I won't let him win" I say firmly

"Did your Mum ever say anything about him, other than he cheated on her and left her for someone else?" Angus questions me and my mind races with what little information I can remember, Tess and I were only kids when it all happened but I know my Mother, she's never lied to us.

"My Mother told us the truth Angus" I snap back at him, why would he even need to doubt her, he knows her.

"I'm sorry baby, you're right, I know Ruth, this guy is just a lying sack of shit" He apologies to me and I instantly feel terrible.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, it's been a stressful morning and I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you" I tell him, "Thank you for yelling at him too, I love that you stood up for me"

I pull into our driveway, turn the car off but just cant bring myself to get out.

"Lets take our mind off the bad thing that happened today and focus on the good" Angus urges me, pulling our scan out of the folder.

"I seriously thought you were going to pass out when Candice pointed out the two spots on the ultrasound" I laugh

"Well it was a bit of a shock at first but I'm happy, just more people for us to love" He says, putting a positive spin on things but I can sense that he's just as scared as I am, I take his hand in mine and kiss it.

"You're going to be a great dad Angus, our children will be so lucky to have you" I reassure him.

"And you will be the best Mum My Princess but if we stay in this car any longer we are going to  start to melt" He says, wiping sweat from his brow, the Summer heat is blazing today.

We rush from the car into the house, luckily Tess has the air conditioner pumping as she's painting in the basement. We collapse on the lounge together, staying two feet apart so we don't sweat all over each other.

"The weather channel said there's a cool change coming tonight" Angus tells me.

"Well it cant come soon enough, my body is over heating already, trying to incubate two little people as well as suffering through this endless Summer" I complain, it hadn't rained since before Christmas and the heat was making it hard to sleep at night so I'd started taking a swim before bed each night.

"I know you're uncomfortable baby, do you wanna go away for the weekend, somewhere cool?" He asks me and I think at this point I'd be happy to go Antartica just to escape this heatwave.

"Yes please and please make it somewhere where we can be alone because I have some needs that really need to be attended to" I tell him and he just laughs

"Zo, I could attend to those needs right now" He offers but I just shake my head.

"It's way too hot, remember when we did that on Monday night? It was just unbearable, I can hold out until the weekend but you better pack the goody bag" I suggest as he searches places on his phone.

"I found the perfect place, up in the mountains so it will be a lot cooler and far away from everything, we will drive up Saturday and come back Monday" He says as he books the log cabin in the woods.

"Can we bring Lily?" I ask, I don't want to leave my fur baby at home, I love having her around, I even moved her bed into our bedroom.

"First thing I searched for was pet friendly places Zo, I wouldn't dream of leaving her at home" He assured me.

It was just too hot to even think about putting the oven on so we ordered dinner, roast lamb with green beans, potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, corn broccoli and cauliflower with gravy, Tess and I set the table together, I wanted to tell her what happened before our parents arrived.

"I saw Liam today, at the clinic I went to to see the OBGYN" I tell her.

"Liam? As in the sperm donor?" She questions me, she had refused to call him our Father for many years, not since she had changed her surname.

"Yes, that's the one" I confirm to her.

"Oh the things I'd love to say to that arsehole, starting with why he decided to name me Teresa knowing our surname was going to be Green, you got lucky Zoey, Mum picked your name" Tess laughs.

"Well I did yell at him but he still kept talking, he said that he tried to see us but Mum stopped him and got a restraining order against him" I explain to her and she looks at me in complete shock.

"That lying sack of shit, if any of that happened we would of known, we were kids but we still understood what was going on" Tess states

"What if he's not lying though?" I ask her, I don't want to doubt my Mother and what she told us about him but why would he bring up a restraining order, knowing that that's something we could look into.

"Well I want nothing to do with him, I have a father and it's Don, we don't need Liam, we got by just fine without him" Tess says firmly, throwing the cutlery down on the table and storming off.

My parents arrive to the sound of Tess slamming her bedroom door.

"Well I see some things never change" Don laughs, handing Angus a bottle of red wine.

"I'll go talk to her" Brian offers, coming in the door behind my parents.

"I'll go, you've been at work all day and I'm the one who upset her so it's only right that I fix it" I tell him

The others move into the dinning room to give us privacy and I knock on Tess' bedroom door.

"Go away Zoey" She yells through the door, I ignore her request though and open the door. I hate that I've caused her to be upset.

"How did you know it was me?" I ask her once inside the room.

"I know your knock" She states, laying on her bed, facing the wall, refusing to look at me.

"I'm sorry I upset you Tess, it wasn't my intention, you're the last person I would ever want to hurt" I apologise to her and she rolls over, I can see she's been crying, her mascara has run a little.

"I'm not angry at you Zoey, I'm angry at him and how he lied to you and made you doubt Mum" Tess explains to me, I climb into bed and lay beside her, wiping away her tears.

"Don is our dad, Liam is nothing to us" I assure her and she smiles at me, "But I need you to come out and have dinner with us because I'm going to tell Mum and Don that I'm pregnant with twins and I need my own twin sister to be there as support" I watch Tess as her eyes go wide.

"Twins?" She screams at me

"Shh yes, twins, now lets get you fixed up so we can face the world together" I say, grabbing a tissue from her nightstand and wiping the mascara streaks from her cheeks.

We join the others in the dinning room, Angus has opened the bottle of wine and hands Tess a glass as we take our seats, Brian places a plate in front of us, it smells so good.

"Thank you for inviting us to dinner" My Mother says to Angus.

"You're welcome Ruth, we just thought it would be a great opportunity to talk" Angus says, jumping straight in but I'm not ready yet.

"Talk about what, this sounds serious, is everything alright?" Don frets, looking at each of us.

"I saw Liam today" I blurt out, it seemed like the safer subject to start with

"Where?" My Mother asks me, I can see the panic coming across her face, Don reaches over and takes her hand and whispers something to her.

"At that clinic downtown" I tell her.

"Why were you at the clinic downtown Zoey? Mum asks me worried, "Is Liam your doctor?"

"Liam isn't my doctor Mum but he was working at the clinic" I explain

"Did he talk to you?" Don asks me, he's trying to keep calm but even he is nervous, I've never seen Don lose his cool.

"He did, when we were leaving, he recognised my name when it was called and confronted us in the carpark, making false claims" I tell my parents.

"What did he say Zoey?" My mum asks nervously, I can see she's trembling

"He said he tried to see us and you stopped him and got a restraining order, I told him that he was a lying dirtbag" I say but I can see on her face, she afraid, the truth is out.

"Ruth it's alright" Don whispers to Mum in a soothing tone.

"Is it true?" Tess asks our parents, "Did he try to see us?"

"Yes" My Mother admits before breaking down in tears

"I don't understand, you told us that he wanted nothing to do with us" Tess yells at Mum

"I was protecting you" My Mother says in a tiny voice, her head hung low, she looks up and her eyes meet mine "Why were you even there Zoey, that clinic is for pregnant women"

"Ah, well that's what we wanted to talk to you about" Angus speaks up, trying to get the conversation back onto it's original course.

"Please don't tell me that you got my 19 year old daughter pregnant after you made promises to us that her education would be a priority" My Mother says to Angus in a tone I'd never heard her use before, she was more angry than what I was expecting, "We trusted you"

"Really? You want to talk about trust Mum? You who lied to your daughters about their own father wanting to be in their lives because you were a bitter bitch who got cheated on" Tess screams at Mum, Brian puts his arms around her to try and calm her but she's too enraged.

"Teresa for once in your life would you shut up" Mum yells at my sister.

"Like you did?" I yell back at Mum, "You kept your mouth shut for years, knowing the truth so you don't get the right to come into my house and yell at my sister. I think you should leave, you've ruined dinner anyway."

My Mother gets to her feet and walks out of our house, leaving Don alone with us.

"Your Mum loves you girls, please remember that and I love you too" Don says to Tess and I before leaving the house.

We cover the food and place it in the fridge, no-one was feeling hungry after what happened tonight.

"I'll call Immie and let her know I'm not coming in tomorrow, we can get away a day earlier that way" Angus offers after we've cleaned the kitchen

I'm sorry Angus, I'm so sorry my Mum yelled at you, this isn't your fault" I tell him, feeling the tears stinging my eyes.

"Your mum is just in shock Zoey, it was a lot to dump on her tonight and I know that she didn't mean anything by what she said, I love your Mum" Angus says, taking me into his arms to comfort me.

"I'll never trust her again, she lied to us for years" I cry

"I think there's more to this than what we know, I don't think your Mum is the bad guy" Angus tells me but I'm too angry to see her in any other light

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Wager

Sara and Leonard definitely have some issues to work out since his return, but it's been an adjustment for the entire Legends team. And they, of course, deal with that in their own unique way. (Set during and not long after "Me vs. You.")

Yeah, I love this 'verse. Here's another one! Please note that it's set partly during the, err, events of "Me vs. You" and partly afterward. Many thanks to LarielRomeniel for the beta.

Still with my own weird take on who Charlie might be (I want Mick to befriend a dragon, OK?) and the Constantine & Gideon 'ship no one asked for! (Hellship? Magicship?) Can also be read here at AO3.

Find the series here at AO3.

“Aw, come on, luv.” John Constantine leans back against the table in the rec room and looks beseechingly up at the ceiling. At least, Mick thinks he’s trying to look beseeching. If anything, that sort of expression came less easily to the warlock’s face than to Mick’s own. And that was saying something.

“Just a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” Constantine, apparently forgetting who he’s talking to, absentmindedly sticks his unlit cigarette back in his mouth. “To settle the bet. That’s pretty innocent, right?”

Mick, who’s sprawled on one of the room’s sofas, snorts. He can nearly hear Gideon’s sigh. For an AI, she’s got more personality than a lot of the people he’s known. Of course, after more than three years, he’s known her longer than he’s bothered knowing a lot of people. Er, more normal-like people.

“Mr. Constantine,” Gideon says almost primly. “As I have told you before, that is, quite frankly, none of your business.”

That’s about the fifth time she’s told the warlock that. Mick snorts again. Constantine glances his way and flashes a quick grin around his cigarette. Zari, perched on one of the stools at the table, just shakes her head. Nate mutters something, and Ray gives him a look.

Charlie has long since wandered away, uninterested in human drama—or, Mick thinks to himself, more uncomfortable with it. He gets it. He often feels the same, after all, the motives and reactions and feelings of so-called normal people a mystery.

Well. They’re none of them particularly normal, here, if normal is even a thing that really exists. (He’s pretty sure, these days, that it isn’t.)

Still, the human drama here is between two of the people he lov....he likes most in the world. Two people he wants to be happy...and to stick around. Blondie, he’s pretty sure, isn’t going anywhere; this is her ship now and she’s captain more than assassin, even if she’s still just as badass as ever.

Snart...well. 

“I can’t believe this,” Nate mutters to himself, getting up from his own seat. “It’s more likely she pushed him out an airlock. Haven’t you heard them since Snart come back on board? I don’t think they’ve exchanged two words without fighting.”

Mick frowns. Pretty’s having a hard time dealing with Snart’s presence on the Waverider, and he supposes he can sorta understand, even though he’s still ridiculously pleased about it himself.

“He’s not the one you saw,” he tells Nate tersely. “As part of the Legion.” He really hates these moments when loyalties old and new clash. For that reason alone, he hopes Constantine wins his wager. Could solve a lot of problems.

Or create new ones. But right now, he’d be OK with new ones.

The historian paces to the other side of the room, then turns, starting back at him.

“Isn’t he?” Pretty demands. “Isn’t he the exact same person? Just from a few years later in the timeline? What makes you really think he’s changed that much?”

“Other than the fact he’s been working with us for a month?” Zari asks, even as Ray stands up, too, distress on his face. Mick’s just trying to not to show that the words hurt, taking a pull of his beer as he tries to figure out what, if anything, he wants to say.

He should have left with Charlie.

“Snart was...is a hero,” Haircut speaks up staunchly to Pretty. “I told you what happened. He sacrificed himself—or he thought he was going to, anyway—to free time. And even before that, he saved our lives lots of times. Russia...Salvation...”

“Could say the same about me,” Mick cuts in, once he decides what he wants to say, before anyone else can distract him. He looks right at Nate. “How d’you know I’ve changed? I was...I was a lot worse than Snart, really. Once.” He shrugs uncomfortably. He is, now that he thinks about it, pretty sure Nate has no idea about Chronos. But even before the bounty hunter, he’d been…he’d done a lot of bad things. It’d been Snart who kept him in line.

Nate’s angry look fades, a little. For a moment, he looks pretty uncomfortable, too.

“You...you’ve proven it,” he says. “Lots of times.”

“So did Snart. You just weren’t there t’see most of it.”

“Will you all shut up?” Constantine asks, turning to survey the room with a world-weary eyeroll. He glares around indiscriminately, then takes his cig out of his mouth and looks back up.

“Gideon, luv,” he explains again. “All I want to know if they’ve snogged yet.” He puts the cigarette back in his mouth. That thing must be disgusting by now. “Or shagged.”

Nate snorts now. “Sara’s got better taste than that,” he says with disgust. “He’s like, 20 years older than her…”

“Good bit less than that, Pretty.”

“And she gained two years in Nanda Parbat, and he lost three in the timestream…”

Zari laughs like she can’t quite hold the humor back. “You...” she says, pointing at Nate, “...have got some weird ideas of good taste.”

Haircut gives her a rather wide-eyed look. “You think Snart’s good looking?” he asks, a bit plaintively. “I mean, I guess he sort of is. If you like that bad-boy type...”

Zari looks thoughtful. “Mm. Those eyes...” she muses. “He’s not my type. But he does have pretty eyes.”

Pretty snorts again. Mick shakes his head. Constantine smirks.

After they’d all beat their hasty retreat from the confrontation on the bridge, collecting down in the rec room without even discussing it, no one had wanted to talk about the elephant in the room at first. Ray had tried to start “Star Wars: Episode I,” nearly gotten booed out of the room, and conceded to skip ahead to Episode IV. (“Time for the prequels later, when we have some booze in us,” Mick had advised him.)

But eventually—maybe it was the Han and Leia banter, maybe it was the fact that the divide of sorts in their team…in their family…was on all their minds—talk turned back to Sara, and Snart, and how things were before (via the two remaining who remembered) and how things were now.

It had been Constantine (of course, Mick thought) who said it.

“One good bottle of whiskey that the two of ‘em are snogging it out right now,” he’d said, feet on the low table in front of one of the sofas, hands folded behind his head, eyes on the TV. “Or better yet, shagging it out.”

Nate sprayed a mouthful of rum and coke over the carpet. “What?”

Constantine had given him a lazy glance. “Seriously, mate? Those sparks? Really? You think you don’t get that kinda…” He waggled a hand. “…back an’ forth…without sexual tension? In spades?”

Haircut had stared at him…and then started nodding. “Ooooh. Ooooh, damn. All those times they were ‘playing cards’…”

“They were playing cards,” Mick cut in. “Not like they weren’t headin’ toward…somethin’…but they weren’t there yet.”

Hell, if Snart was gonna fall for anyone, he’d be happy if it was Blondie. But Mick also knew too much to ever think it’d be easy.

Not that he’d tell Haircut or the rest of ‘em that.

Charlie, who’d been raptly taking in the adventures of Luke & Co., had frowned, turning around in her seat.

“They were going to mate?” she asked Zari, who choked on her iced tea. “Would there not have been hatch…” She thought a moment. “…babies?”

It was hard to hold back a laugh, but Mick did it. He knew that Charlie hated feeling like a fool for questions that seemed perfectly reasonable to her. He’d been there.

Zari (after darting a look at Mick that said someone was going to pay for making her explain the human facts of life to the shapeshifter) started a low-voiced conversation that had Charlie staring at her in amazement.

Haircut, who apparently figured he didn’t want to touch that one with a 10-foot pole, decided to act like he hadn’t heard. (As did Nate, Constantine, and Mick.)

“Ooooh,” he said sadly. “And then Snart died. Um. ‘Died.’” He made air quotes. “And even though he’s back, that’s a lot to unpack.”

Constantine groaned. “It’s not that complicated!”

But it was.

Constantine had stood by his assertion—and his wager: the others could acquire him some quality whiskey if he was correct. Nate had declared that the far greater odds were on Sara kicking the thief off the team—and probably off the ship, possibly while it was still in the timestream. The rest of them (barring Charlie, who took this all in with an expression of great dubiousness) were somewhere in the middle.

Mick, personally, wasn’t sure if Sara, even now, or Snart were...what was the phrase he’d heard Leo use once? emotionally healthy...enough to mend their fences that fast. But then, he supposed that wasn’t really a requirement for what Constantine was talking about. Frankly, he figured, it’d probably do them good to bang and then talk it out.

Which meant it probably wouldn’t happen.

“Sara won’t just kick ‘im off the team,” he said finally. “Not after…everything. An’ Snart’s prob’ly too stubborn to jus’ leave.” He hoped. “Best case, they manage to talk long enough to work some of their shit out. They do that…” He shrugged, then took another drink. “…maybe they hook up. Do ‘em both good.”

Constantine pointed at him. “Need something more concrete for a wager, mate.”

Damned Brit did like his wagers. Mick considered. “Going to say they did talk,” he said finally. Optimism doesn’t come easily to him, far from it, but hell, he’s got Snart back after three years of his partner being dead. Who knows what’s possible.  “Things get back to norm….to what they were, once, w’them…I give ‘em a month before they fall into bed with each other.”

Zari cast him an interested look. “What were they?” she asked. “This is the first I’m really hearing of this.”

Mick thought about it a moment. “Friends,” he said eventually. “An’ it’s not like Snart ever had many of those, so that’s sayin’ somethin’ in itself.” He took a drink. “Don’ think I’ve ever seen ‘im take to someone like that before. Not in a long, long time, anyway.”

Anyway, Haircut had agreed that if Sara and Snart would just talk, the odds of something happening were high. Pressed for specifics, he’d decided on three weeks for his deadline. Zari decided to put her wager on five weeks before something—whether shagging, snogging or kicking off the ship—happened.  (And cupcakes rather than whiskey if she won.)

Charlie, vaguely horrified and slightly intrigued by human mating habits, had already beat a hasty retreat. Mick didn’t blame her.

Now, however, having watched their way through the entire original trilogy and enough of Episode One to get a buzz on (for some of them, anyway), the others have all wandered off too. Constantine had actually fallen asleep on the sofa, head leaning against the back, snoring, but then woke with a snort, shaken his head and climbed to his feet, winked at Mick, and headed out, presumably to the room he was using as his own. Mick trusted Gideon to let someone know if the warlock decided to try to…interfere with…Sara and Snart.

Even Constantine couldn’t be that stupid.

Mick relishes the relative silence for a few moments, watching the duel of Obi Wan and Qui-Gon and Darth Maul on screen, then turns off the TV.

He sits for a moment, then raises his voice.

“Gideon?”

“Yes, Mr. Rory?” The AI sounds serene. She and Mick get along pretty well these days.

“Jus’…jus’ let me know if I need to referee or get anyone to the medbay, OK? Otherwise, better if they just have it out.” He takes one last drink. “One way or another.”

“Of course, Mr. Rory.”

One of the nice things about being in the timestream is that they generally get to sleep in. Mick, who is not a morning person at the best of times, appreciates that. Yawning the next “morning,” by ship’s time, he saunters down the hallway, barely sparing a moment for the varied considerations of the night before. That’s how he keeps going. You keep moving forward.

Then he turns into the galley.

He knows the minute he claps eyes on them.

Snart’s across the counter from Blondie, but he’s leaning toward her, nearly draped over the surface, hands clasped in front of him and his eyes fixed on the captain. Sara’s on the other side, but she’s watching him in return, and there’s the tiniest of smiles hovering around her lips.

Mick’s never been the best at feelings. Far, far from it. But he’s known Snart for more than 30 years, and he knows what a Leonard Snart who’s gotten laid looks like. (Although given how picky Snart is, it’s been a lot less often than it could have been.)

Bingo.

He’s never been happier to lose a bet.

They both look at him as he pauses in the doorway, and Mick knows immediately that they know he knows. They’re…OK, fuck, he’ll think it, the two people he loves most in this world. How does he handle this?

By pretending nothing’s changed, he figures.

So, after pausing for just a moment, Mick simply grunts, moving into the galley and over toward the replicator. Once he has his coffee, he eyes Sara and Snart a moment, taking a drink.

They’re now wearing almost identical smirks. Mick’s not sure whether to be appalled or amused. Both, he decides. The Brit is going to be insufferable.

Unless…

He regards them; they regard him. Then Mick grunts again.

“British is gonna be really annoying,” he advises. “So…maybe tone it down a bit?”

Sara chuckles, taking a drink of her own coffee. Snart lifts an eyebrow.

“Why, Mick,” he drawls. “To what are you referring?”

And then he actually laughs as Mick gives him a weary look in return

Mick can’t remember the last time he heard Snart laugh. It’s a good sound. But he merely rolls his eyes, watching them.

Snart tilts his head and looks at Sara, who does much the same in response. Whatever they decide in that moment of wordless communion, the captain nods, looking at Mick.

“Nothing’s changed,” she says firmly, taking another drink of coffee.

Mick gives her a look of disbelief. Snart’s smirk grows a little. Sara, catching the expressions, smirks a little too, but then sighs.

“Really,” she says, leaning against the counter. “It’s not…we’re not…” But then she looks at Snart again, and oh damn, they’re back to the eye sex.

The moment stretches, just enough to have Mick wondering if he should leave, but then Sara seems to catch herself, shaking her head. She smiles a little, then looks at him.

“OK,” she says. “So maybe some things have changed. But some of it’s just between us…” She waves a hand between herself and Snart. “…for now. Anything to do with the team…well, we all have to sort out that dynamic.” Her smile grows. “I think it’ll be for the better.”

Well, then. “Damn right,” Mick says softly. Then he holds up his coffee mug, in a sort of wordless toast.

After a moment, Snart and Sara hold up theirs, too, clinking them together before they drink.

And Mick hasn’t been this happy in a long time.

So, of course, that’s when Constantine has to appear in the doorway.

He’s rumpled, as always, though he’s not, for once, wearing his coat. Given that he hates mornings with a passion that surpasses even Mick’s, it’s a little surprising that he’s up and moving. But Constantine’s eyes brighten as he takes in the three of them standing there…and, OK, this should be interesting.

“Ah,” he says happily, strolling into the galley. “So, did you two shag or what?” He claps his hands together and leans against the counter. “Inquiring minds want to know.”

Snart gives him a withering look. Sara lifts an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” she says mildly.

“You heard me, luv.” The warlock is unrepentant. “I have a wager on this. Tell.”

Sara considers him. Then she shrugs.

“Nothing to tell,” she says, turning away to rinse out her coffee mug. “Now, where were we going next? You said something about werewolves in Victorian London?”

Constantine gives her a disapproving look. Then he transfers his gaze to Snart.

“What about you, handsome?” he asks, leaning toward the other man. “You the type to snog an’ tell?”

Snart considers him, too. Then he shrugs as well.

“Like the lady said,” he drawls. “Nothin’ to tell.”

Constantine actually pouts. Mick keeps his own face empty as the warlock glances at him and then sighs.

“All right, all right,” he says. “But the truth will out.” The pout fades into a bit of a good-natured leer. “So, you both like blonds, eh? Good to know.”

Sara shakes her head at him; Leonard ignores him. The captain gives Mick another quick smile and then steps around the counter, heading for the door.

“John, let me know when you’ve got this particularly juvenile line of inquiry out of your system,” she tosses over her shoulder. “So I can set a course. Mick, Len, I’ll see you later.” And then she’s gone, out into the corridor.

“Len?” Both of Constantine’s eyebrows are up. “Well now, mate, that’s new.”

Snart finishes his own coffee and rises with alacrity to retreat. Mick can’t really blame him.

“Not particularly,” he drawls. “Mick, if you still want me to make the same tweaks to your gun that I made to my new one, I’ll drop by the fabrication room in about an hour.”

Mick nods. Snart casts him another lurking smile, then saunters out. He doesn’t head in the same direction as Blondie, though, which is probably good, because Constantine is watching avidly. (Although maybe he’s just admiring Snart’s ass; Mick can’t quite tell.)

After a moment of silence, the warlock sighs, turning his gaze on Mick, who’s still silently drinking his coffee.

“I will find out,” he promises, then glances upward. “Gideon?”

“Mr. Constantine?” The AI’s voice is wary. Mick can’t blame her.

“This could be so simple, luv. Just tell me? I’m sure I can find some way to make it worth your while.”

If Mick didn’t know better (and maybe he doesn’t, to be honest), he’d swear Constantine was trying to flirt with the AI. Gideon’s pause is longer than usual, and who knows? Maybe it’s working? Mick waits.

Finally, she speaks. “Mr. Constantine, I believe the correct response, in your own vernacular…”

Constantine grins, leaning forward, winking at Mick and listening avidly.

“…is ‘sod off.’”

Mick can’t resist laughing out loud at the look on the warlock’s face. This is, he thinks, going to be interesting.

And he’s just fine with that.

[tempercnce-blog]

hello, it’s ur girl, diana !! finally coming at u with my intro post AKSJDSHD

nicola byun. 23. sagittarius. the temperance.

 so aksdhjkdh nicola never met her dad & she rly doesn’t know much about him (whEW daddy issues)......her mom just tells her he died in some accident but she never rly goes into detail u kno ?? so it’s sus but growing up she didn’t rly think much of it bc she trusted her mom !! they inherited all his money so they were living the good life anyway

nicola was v close to her mom as a kid up until like high school ish where things got freaky. she was an innocent lil lamb freshman yr of high school but then after that she started 2 get a little wild. she got rly curious abt her dad, so she did some digging around her house & found like a box with newspaper clippings about his accident & she ALSO found proof that her mom had conspired against her dad & plotted the “accident” aka MURDER !! gaSP !!  and her mom was a witchy witch >:))

so instead of telling her mom what she found out, she kept it a secret & made copies of all the evidence so she could blackmail her mom if she needed to xoxo

however this discovery was veRY upsetting bc she trusted her mom all her life, so she rebelled against her by being like a “wild child” !!! her mom was like what the frick whY are u being crazy are u doing drugs...and yes, yes she was. she never rly became a BAD person morally, but she also kind of didnt give a fuck abt anything asdklfjkdsjhf so she did whatever she wanted to

despite knowing abt her mom being a witch, she didn’t rly get into the craft til the end of high school/beginning of college. at first she was very turned off by magic bc her mom was a witch & that’s how she killed her father, but eventually she got into it. (p.s. this can be a plot !! maybe one of ur charas got her into magic OR like mentored her in some way after she was already beginning to get into it)

at first getting into magic, she was on a power high, doing hexes & shit just for the fun of it. it was on this power high that she let a guy overdose on some weird drug she created by mixing herbs & witchy ingredients together ajsdhjdh. she was like o damn i killed someone !! she had this whole revelation abt how she was becoming just as bad as her mom so she was like . time 2 change !! 

so girly decided to stop abusing magic & actually learn to appreciate it !! she got more into white magic & it kinda changed her completely. her entire life became more abt balance & controlling ur emotions. still, wanting 2 get away from her mom, she moved far away bc her household jus felt toxic :/

that brings us 2 present time !! she was kinda drawn 2 the circle bc she wanted friends that also practiced magic, however she didn’t realize what she was getting into. she definitely didn’t want to kill marisol but like she wanted to avoid conflict with the group at all costs, so she went through with it. turns out killing is much easier the second time :O 

nicola is definitely a go with the flow kinda gal, which obviously can get her into trouble akdksdjhd but she prefers to avoid confrontation so what can a girl do ?? she’s definitely a soft uwu girl now (to some extent). despite all ur characters being DEMONS . she cares abt them all & wants 2 heal their lil hearts ,,,, like if u cried :’(( AKJDHKHD

ummmm what else ,,,,, ok nicola is an ig thottie. by this i just mean she’s an instagram influencer WHEW my dream but anywAY !! she gets paid for promoting skinny teas & shit. she likes being a social media influencer bc it gives her the chance to showcase her style & shit. fashion is her REAL dream so she’s tryna have her own clothing line in the long run & be a business woman, but for now, she’s jus an ig influencer

the problem abt nicola is that she’s always avoiding conflict & attempting to live a balanced life that she often ends up silencing her feelings & be happy all the time ,,,,, so one day as the rp progresses, girly is gonna blow up xx

forgot 2 mention she blackmails her mom 2 stay rich bc she is a spoiled lil brat

also worth mentioning: she’s a power bottom ugh her MIND

this is long as fuck i’m so soRRY but i am rly looking forward to plotting !! some ideas are (but not limited to) platonic soulmates, exes, unrequited feelings, sibling-esque friendship, enemies (idk how this world work it would prob be one sided hate bc nic doesnt rly hate anyone), etc u kno the drill im gna make a plots page to keep everything all nice n sorted <3

oK signing off bc xan keeps judging me bc this is rly long . i KNOW it is i’m SORRY .

summary: nic used to be close to her mom, she found out her mom plotted her dads murder, she became a wild child n a lil druggie and got into magic, she accidentally made drugs that some guy overdosed on, she felt bad so she started to practice white magic n it “enlightened” her so she’s a better person now all abt balance and avoiding conflict, she is an instagram influencer but her dream is to design her own line of clothing, she blackmails her mom 2 stay rich xx

[stitchthebratprince-blog]

Yesterday was good day. Well as good is its going to get without you. I did something that i did not want to do but that you so desperately wanted when you were here. I cried when i saw Jorge, Alex in our house. In your home. I did not want to take them to go see you. I cried cause i did not want to do it. Not without you. I didn't want to deal with this. I cried but after that felt you in my heart. I still do. You gave me the strength to deal with this to persevere.

I was not prepared for the hugs. I wanted to just to shake their hands be distant and civil. I guess a bit cold. But i wanted to be on my best behavior, for you. I was though on my best behavoir. I didn't put Jorge in the ground like I promised him because my promise to you is more important.

I got to the mortuary early. I flew there to see you. I left them in my wake. My mom being who she starts to nag me about it. Trying to claim rights she lost long ago. Rights you made sure she knew where yours, when you were here. We protected each other.

I had to wait for Korrey the lady that is helping us, better yet me with these arrangements. I really wanted to dress you. My mom wants to be a miteda but i stopped her at the door. Your only fault was that you are very vanidosa. I knew that whatever state you were in you did would not be happy if they saw you like that. I went in before them by myself. I wanted, needed to do this myself. Well at least with out their help. Ended getting help from one of the worker in the mortuary. I put your pjs on 1st. I cut your toe nails. You always let them get to long. You should have told me you needed them cut already. I even cut the skin flap on the sole of your right foot. The one that always bothered you. put your socks on cause i know how you hated having cold feet. I put your crocs on in case you may have wanted to get up and walk around cause i know you hate walking barefoot, i hoped you may have gotten up to walk around for me one more time and told me anything and everything else you needed to tell me and to hug me and give me one last kiss. I even put on your nice robe in case i know how when you are outside of the house for a long stay like in the hospital, you dont like to be in just your pjs. You like to be covered up. You hate the cold but you also hate the heat more. But Your body was so cold.

Alex rode with us. He is a bit more respectful now or it could be that they are in mourning.

My dad and Jorge got lost or better yet I left them behind.

It reminded me of the winter when we would wake up in the morning and I would cook breakfast and you would come into the kitchen or when I would go to your room to wake you up and you would hug me and even though the heater was on your hands would be so cold and then you would be trying to get your hand under my shirt to hug me and steal my heat to warm yourself up. "Hmmm you're so warm. Give me!" And i would scream and we would play around and laugh while i tried to wrestle you off while in a loud and playful voice i would say ,"Stop! get off me dude! How are you so fucking cold?" We would only stop after the babies would start barking and dog piling on us and kiss us. You would let go and say, "Babies calm down! I'm not hurting your poppa! He is ok he is jus a big cry baby is all. I couldn't hurt even if i wanted to he is to big and strong. " i guess i am proving you right with the crybaby part now.

As I was zipping up your robe for the final time. You did something. Your physical body did something beautiful and wonderful. I was filled with hope that my prayer were being answered that there was a miracle and you did it you came back. Do you remember when we try and see what clothes fit you and we try to fit you into a pair of pants or i would help you get dressed in the hospital and you would be sitting on the bed and then lay down and throw your head back and huff and complain, "I've gotten too fat." Well you threw your head of the little brick pillow but without the huff. I smiled because i know you are still here with me. You are filling me with strength to keep on going. I had to finally agree with you that you had gotten a little fat. I see it now but i never saw it before because you were always so animated so vibrant and alive. Even in your sleep. But at least i was right it was water weight because they said because of the decomp you retain a lot of water and were beginning to leak all of that water. At least in death you shed that water weight right? Always with the extreme measures

To me you are my mom. To me you are beautiful. To me you are the whole world and more.

After i was done getting you dressed i called the family in. Who by now are as good as strangers to me but were never ever far from your mind and heart. Its been 10 years since i last spoke to them, a month in my mom's case. But I agreed to let my mom get them organized to see you on friday. Its what you really wanted in life and i denied it to you. You never held any ill will to me for it because you know i didn't want to expose you to pain. These people were toxic to you. You never deserved their hate. You never deserved their anger towards you. You never held any ill will toward them, all you had was love. You were not perfect but god dammit you were close to it.

They all went to you. One by one and said their good byes. They cried. They hugged you. They kissed you. They asked for your forgiveness. I had stop crying. There was no anger only a stillness in me. I felt all of this was very hypocritical at this point. I didnt say anything though. I didnt reach out to comfort anyone. I behaved. I let go out and wait and then we said our good byes. That soon you will be home to rest in your house. I know how you hate being gone from the house for to long. The babies miss you and i asked that when my time comes please let it be you that comes for me. Don't leave me. Please keep an eye on me. But if you can some way some how please come back to me. I'll need you no matter what. Its selfish of me but i don't care. You let me be selfish.

We had dinner. We ate at your favorite thai restaurant out here in riverside. I felt such warmth there. Not heat from outside we even got an extra thai ice tea. I guess that was for you. I drank it though. I thought you would not mind you know because of the lack of a physical body and you being dead and all. I know how much loved them though. I was so at peace yet so disconnected. After dinner though when we left the restaurant i had it out with them. I told them off. I didnt cuss at them Or say it in anger. I said it from the heart. I've started to let go of the pain and hate you were so worried would consume me. I guess you were worried about me getting angry but i didn't i only cussed twice. I laid all my issues with each individual person and told them how it was going to be. Jorge got angry i guess. I didnt really care not just because i exposed all of his sins but because i did it in front of his lady. I know what you would have said in the car. "You told them only 6 people. Thats you, my mom, my dad, alex, leslie, and him. He shouldn't have brought his entourage. But it was nice seeing oswaldito. He has gotten so tall." It was a reckoning. For them and for me. I did apologize to them because i know i was the only thing keeping them from you. I horded your love and attention. I tried to protect you. I feel bad because you wanted this, You were wearing me down on this issue, and i kept denying you. I know most of all you wanted this because you wanted me to let go of the hate and anger and i did.

Jorge left after that in a huff and mom wasnt happy eitherLeslie wanted ice cream so we went to the plaza. We sat around and talked we tried to talk about you but you know mom. She is so self centered and started in on her issues with my dad. I didnt want this shit eithe and i told her this. She got upset cause i shut her down. We left after that.

I had thought things were going to be bad and i had made plans i overbook. I should have cancelled them. I should have just stayed home. I just dont want people to think i am suicidal. Everyone keeps thinking that. I think but i am not. I wont hurt myself or the babies. They are our family. They are your legacy. Ohana! And what does ohana mean? It means family and no one gets left behind. At least now that you are no longer physically here i can start to fill the house with pictures of you and us like i wanted.

I still feel you here so i will stop with the day to day bs. I'll limit this to the things i cant say to you in public. Cause if people think i am going to off myself now they will probably have me committed if i started to talk to you out in public... at least when i do talk to "myself" when i am problem solving i'll be talking to you.

[vitaminhwang]

i was tagged by @joshuji & @velvetjjks !!! stacey nd krystal!!! thank u for tagging me i rlly liked learning more abt u guys :((( 💘💘

rules: tag someone you want to get to know better

appearance

im 5′3 and i have brown eyes nd wavy medium long ish black hair. i have tanned skin, i sometimes wear glasses during class nd i have dimples!! OH i have a broken nose lol bc of an injury i got when i was younger cough cough my brother cough cough anyway um if u see me i’m probs wearing my earbuds, i don’t wear makeup, i always have my hair down,,, if i wear earrings they’re always stud onesss nd i usually wear a hoodie or an oversized shirt with black or blue jeans. confidence? i don’t know her *finger guns* i always wear this colourful bead bracelet (its light blue, green, purple, yellow nd black) i bought last year nd i rlly cherish it a lot ://

personality

i did a test jus now nd welp im 50% introverted, 30% extroverted, 20% ambivert. aNYWAY i really like making people laugh nd making bad jokes but im pretty awkward at first but i try hard to make the other person comfy!! 1-1 is hard for me lmao. my humor is basically sarcasm, memes and bad jokes wkrjje i can be competitive!! my friends tell me im innocent nd i take it as good thing haha ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i usually keep to myself which backfires bc i’m not good at showing affection to others so i feel guilty but its something im working on. i take things to heart which i need!! to!! fix!! i also cry easily lmao i cried listening to songs esp awake and deadass i cried during an action movie bc the puppy died and my friend laughed at me and um being nice is rlly important to me i don’t like rude / mean people i don’t understand why someone would be mean by choice? the tea.

abilities

i’ve been playing alto sax for 4 years,, um i think im good at learning languages? i can organize things well!! i like to think im good at video games ksks bye u fools don’t stand a chance against me for pokemon battles

hobbies

listening to music, learning languages, playing video games, watching shows, eating :)))

relationships

i talk to a bunch of ppl but i have a small friend group that i consider rlly close i’ve known them for 6-8 years holy shit that long i haven’t counted in a while oh my god and i have another friend ive known for 11 years… BUT anyway!! i rlly care abt them nd they’re rlly important to me :(( um but romantic relationships nah thanks i’ve never been in one and im not planning to anytime soon. i love having trust issues *finger guns pt 2* but if i like someone i always try to avoid them and seem indifferent ksks (to some extent u can’t b obvious abt it fam also hiding my feelings is one of my strengths nd im proud) i never try to get close bc im shy nd i just wait til im over it ksjsjs i can’t believe theres ppl out there that confess like bud are u ok lsks

random

when i smile my mouth legit becomes a straight line. i love rain and animals so much but one of my biggest fears are sharks. if i was more confident i feel like my appearance would be different. i give advice to others often. i apologize too much lol yes ik ik im aware IM SORRYY. i broke my wrist when i was in gr 2 or 3 bc of this girl who pushed me (whats right bitch i remember,,, it was a warm september afternoon…). i rlly love star wars. my fave pokemon generation is 4th gen (REMAKES PLEASE). ok but like for xyz i had a crush on alain bye. i own 6 albums, 2 are bts, 3 are got7 nd 1 is wanna one (i rlly wanted to get kots nd mixtape ;-; nd omg when blackpink releases a full album istg). my most played song last year was spring day. i think donghyun from mxm is the closest to my ideal type. when im older all i want to do is travel and be happy.

this was so long im so sorry

im tagging: @parkswoojin @gazelleswrite @ggthydrangea @supersaiyum @lglakgae if u feel comfy too!!! 💞💞

[setmeatopthepyre]

They Say We’re Crazy 3: Silence.

Here’s my first chapter that isn’t a POV version! It still corresponds to @takadasaiko‘s Howl Until it Hurts, but this time it’s a chapter with just Cross after Martin & Gripps have been taken by Priest. As usual, please let me know what you think!

Read on AO3 or keep reading.

The first thing Cross noticed when he woke up was the silence. Not the pain in his head, not the bruises on his arms and knuckles, not the bright, blinding sunlight reflecting off the cars in the scrapyard. Just that terrifying, deafening silence.

They shot Martin. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.  They took Gripps. He'd run. He'd left them. Left them behind with that man, with all those soldiers. They're gone. He was alone. Again. No, not alone. Not really. Never again alone. He had a family now. And for a moment, he let that ember of hope flare up inside of him.

Then he remembered the silence.

Cross sat up slowly, carefully, in the car seat. His head throbbed but the pain was not so bad. He felt okay physically, definitely better than he'd expected to. Mentally, however..  He tried to clear his head, tried to find some hint of Gripps or Martin there. He hadn't quite gotten used to their presence in the short time that he'd known them, but them not being there at all felt wrong.

There was nothing. None of the static that he'd felt the night before, the white noise that he'd fallen asleep to. Nothing but silence.

He felt sick. What if the silence meant.. it couldn't, could it? They couldn't both be.. His stomach lurched and he stumbled out of the empty shell of the car that he'd slept in. His knees hit the dusty ground and he willed himself to calm down, willed himself to focus. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. They were alive, had to be. He'd find them and they would be fine. Well, maybe not completely fine. Martin had been shot after all. He's been shot. Martin's been shot and there was so much blood and he fell and what if the silence means he's dead what if they're both- No. No. Deep breaths.

"Hey!" Cross jumped to his feet and reached for the tire iron that had fallen out of his grasp at some point while he slept. "Hey kid, you can't just - Hey! Put that down." The older heavyset woman approaching him didn't seem too threatening, but he wasn't taking any chances. He clutched the tire iron tightly. The woman stopped a safe distance away and crossed her arms. "You can't be here, kid. I'm going to have to call the police if you don't leave." Cross hesitated. The men who had taken Martin and Gripps had seemed military. What if the police led them to him? He couldn't face all of them, not alone. Although.. what if they took him to where they were keeping his brothers? Then at least they would be together and they could make the bastards pay and escape.

Unless they're dead.

The woman must have caught his panicked expression, because her voice softened a little. "Do you have anywhere to go, boy?" When Cross didn't answer she eyed the tire iron for a moment, then walked up to him. "Come on," she said gently, taking him by the shoulders and steering him towards the building on the far end of the scrapyard. Cross let himself be led, unable to come up with a better idea. If he didn't comply, she'd likely call the police on him. Or he could run, but where would he go? Besides, the woman didn't seem inclined to harm him. All he could smell off of her was some mild annoyance and concern.

The only structure in the scrapyard was a small office building connecting to a larger warehouse. The woman opened the unlocked door to the office and ushered him in, Cross' skin prickling at being inside a building that wasn't a loud, busy bar. It was decidedly unfamiliar but not unpleasant. The area was cluttered but clean and it smelled like freshly brewed coffee. He took a seat when the woman pointed him towards a chair and accepted a paper cup of water.

"Do you want anything else? Tea? Coffee?" He shook his head and she sat down in the chair opposite him. She was silent for a moment and Cross could smell the annoyance make way for something else, a little sadness, as she scrutinized him. He knew he probably looked terrible. He hadn't checked his face for bruises, but the knuckles on his right hand were swollen and purple and his arm felt about the same. He was grimy, he knew that. The last time he'd properly washed his face had been at least four days ago. He probably stank.

"What's your name, kid?" she finally asked. He regarded her for a moment. "Cross." If she thought the name odd, she didn't show it. She just nodded, probably glad to know he could speak at all. "I'm Debra. Can I get you something to eat?" He shook his head again, paused for a moment, then muttered, "'m not hungry." She pursed her lips. "Don't lie, boy. You look like you haven't eaten anything in weeks. I'll get you some food." She peered at him for a moment longer, as though considering something. "There's a shower in the back if you want to use it." With that, she got up. "Here, I'll show you where it is and fix you a sandwich while you get cleaned up."

-

A hot shower was a luxury Cross couldn't pass up, despite the voice in the back of his mind telling him he needed to be out looking for his brothers. He also had to make sure that Priest and his men didn't find him first, and that would be a lot easier if he were a little cleaner and therefore less likely to draw attention to himself. He shook his head as though to clear it from the nagging guilt. "First shower, then rescue. Can't save 'em if I stink," he muttered to himself as he locked the door to the tiny bathroom. He dumped the towel and t-shirt he'd been handed on the floor, then gingerly laid his tire iron across the sink so that it would be easy to reach. He checked the door once more, making sure it was properly locked, and undressed.

It was the first hot shower he'd had in.. he wasn't sure how long. Too long. The stall was cramped and he was definitely too tall for the shower head and the water alternated between a little too hot and too cold, but he didn't mind. It was perfect. He took his time washing his hair and scrubbing hard at every spot of grime he could find, and carefully examined the various injuries he'd sustained in the fights the night before. There was nothing too bad, just some scrapes and bruises. He definitely had a welt on the back of his head, but that seemed to be the worst of it. 

Feeling cleaner and a little more human than he had in a long time Cross dried himself off and pulled on his tattered jeans. He then turned the shower back on and washed his ratty t-shirt and socks as well as he could. Finally he used the now damp towel to wipe down the tiny mirror hanging over the sink and examined his face. He was more tan than he remembered and a purple bruise bloomed on his jaw. It was odd, seeing himself up close like this, and he made a face at the mirror.  Then he remembered the night before, and his brothers, and the blood. "No no no, not useful," he told himself, frowning at his reflection. "Not. Useful." The panic would get him nowhere. His brothers were alive. The man had taken them but they were alive, they were alright, they had to be. He would find them and they would make the man named Priest and his damn soldiers pay for what they'd done. 

Someone else had entered the office. He could hear voices, one of them Debra's and one of them belonging to a man, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. Moving quickly, he put on on the new t-shirt and pulled his boots onto his bare feet. He threaded his wet shirt through one of his belt loops and stuffed his socks in his pocket, then grabbed the tire iron and listened at the door. He heard nothing. After another moment of waiting and listening he slowly unlocked and opened the door, tire iron raised and ready to strike. The office was empty.

Cross stalked across the room, checking for any movement, any human smells. There was a generous pile of sandwiches sitting on the desk next to his untouched cup of water, but no sign of Debra or of the man he'd heard. Then there was movement outside and the door swung open and Debra bustled in, freezing in place when she saw Cross with the tire iron raised high. Having recovered from her surprise, she scoffed. "Could you put that down please?" He quickly did as he was told and muttered an apology. "Sit down, boy. Have some food, drink your water. They're saying a storm's headed this way, should be here tomorrow. If you're still in the area when it hits, you're free to take shelter in the warehouse, alright? Not in any of the cars. There's some old seats sitting back there that you can sleep on but don't touch anything else, you hear?" She didn't wait for an answer, just fixed him with an intent stare. "I'm trusting you because you don't seem like a bad kid. Don't make me regret it, okay? Now eat."

Cross gingerly picked up a sandwich, sniffed at it, took a bite. It had been a while since he'd tasted anything like this, like normal people did. It was nice. He smiled a little with a mouth full of peanut butter. Normal was OK.

When Cross had started on his third sandwich, Debra looked up at the clock. "I'm sorry, you're going to have to leave soon. The boys will be here in a bit and then there's work to be done. Take the rest with you, if you're anything like my sons you need it. And remember, you can stay here tomorrow. There's no one here on Saturdays except me and I leave at five. The office will be locked but I'll leave the door at the back open for you." As he got up, he could feel the sadness again. Regret. "Is there no one I can call for you, Cross? You must have someone who cares for you." He hadn't until recently, but he did now. Not just someone, but two people, and the fact that he knew that so definitely after such a long time alone made him feel warm despite the circumstances. Of course, they couldn't help him and he couldn't tell Debra about any of that so he just shook his head. "It's okay. Thanks."

-

The sun shone bright and Cross relished its warmth as he rested against the junkyard fence, far enough from the road to be out of sight. He'd hung out his wet t-shirt and socks and they were nearly dry already as he sat and ate his last sandwich. He stared out over the field as he chewed, trying to think up ways to save his brothers. The more he thought about it, the less he had to go on in terms of finding them. He knew that the man who'd come to collect Gripps and Martin called himself Mr. Priest and that he'd used some sort of gas on them and that they seemed military and that there was something named Blackwing. Maybe he could go back and ask Debra for a phonebook and look up those names? He had serious doubts about how much use that would be. What if this was all some huge government.. thing? Did he really expect to just find an address for wherever they had taken them?

He swallowed the last bite and took a swig from the water bottle Debra given him. His friends were locked up and injured or worse and here he sat, free, mostly unscathed, freshly showered, well-fed and feeling more lost and alone than he ever had.

[carolightpenvenys]

THING I HAVE BEEN TAGGED IN

Thanku Theo for the tag @tiffanyachings 💞

THE LAST: 
1. DRINK - Orange Juice 
2. PHONE CALL - My mum ditched me in Truro for a friend so had to find her like 
3. TEXT MESSAGE - dad 
4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO - can’t tell you off the top of my head but either the way i are by bebe rexha or new rules by dua lipa 
5. TIME YOU CRIED - ok so i live on a wee island and it sounds so dumb but i thought my plane was gonna get cancelled the other day and i need a break and i got hysterical this was wednesday

HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE - no never dated 
7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT - no never been kissed 
8. BEEN CHEATED ON - no because i don’t trust people 
9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL - 30th March 2015 
10. BEEN DEPRESSED - i have had minor depressive episodes but not really 
11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP - drink water kids it’s saved me so many times 
12. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: purple, blue, pink (like caroline penvenen’s dresses)

INTHE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
13. MADE NEW FRIENDS - Yes and they’ve proved to be some of the best ones! 
14. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE - No I had a crush but got over it lmao 
15. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED - ive never 
16. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU - aye this happens to everyone!! 
17. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU - everyone changes me from my customers at work to my closest friends! 
18. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE - i mean yeah it’s been a rough year

GENERAL: 
19. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: yes two dogs manuel neuer and hildi 
20. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i would but i am such an anna 
21. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: it was just over a week ago and i went to a beach cantina with friends 
22. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: like 9 and went to holywell bay home of carolight flanter 
23. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: asleep for once 
24. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: university and carolight 
25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: she’s hoovering and making an absolute ruckus 
26. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: my luck is so bad it’s laughable so good luck! 
27. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: rooting for you- london grammar (my taste is eclectic) 
28. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: talked he’s talked like flirted no 
29. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: my constant bad luck 
30. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: actually twitter whatsapp or here or even google docs to write my fic 
31. HAIR COLOR: poo brown imo 
32. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: growing out a bob 
33. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: i did and he liked me back but didn’t have the confidence to pursue anything bc i didn’t trust him 
34. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my eyes and the fact i NEVER give up 
35. PIERCINGS: none i am scared 
 36. BLOOD TYPE: idk :/ 
37. NICKNAME: can’t youse jus call me anna it’s easy enough 
38. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single foreverrerr 
39. PRONOUNS: she/her 
40. FAVORITE TV SHOW: poldark/skam 
41. TATTOOS: none and i don’t want any 
42. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right 
43. SURGERY: no 
44. SPORT: island champion high jumper 2014 
45. VACATION: Paris or Vienna!
 46. PAIRS OF TRAINERS: black new balance 410s, adidas superstars black with white stripes, traditional black converse high tops (used to work in schuh ok)

MORE GENERAL: 
48. EATING - duck spring rolls! 
49. DRINKING - tea with a dash of milk no sugar sorry milkytea!dwight 
50. I’M ABOUT TO - watch an episode of it’s always sunny in philadelphia 
51. WAITING FOR - the heating to come on it’s like fourteen degrees in cornwall 
52. WANT - everything jealousy is my tragic flaw 
53. GET MARRIED - if i can find the right (dwight enys) man 
54. CAREER - labour mp 
55. HUGS OR KISSES - both trigger my anxiety quite bad so if someone did it to me without triggering me i think i have found my soulmate 
56. LIPS OR EYES - always eyes 
57. SHORTER OR TALLER - taller 
58. OLDER OR YOUNGER - i am an only child 
59. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH - body positivity! 
60. SENSITIVE OR LOUD - both depending on the company 
61. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 
62. KISSED A STRANGER: no 
63. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yes 
64. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: no i don’t wear them 
65. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: in a way 
66. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no 
67. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: i don’t know 
68. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: i don’t know 
69. BEEN ARRESTED: no 
70. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes 
71. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: nope they’re all girls so unfortunately i am not attracted

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
72. YOURSELF: yes and then i break my own heart when i fail 
73. MIRACLES: waiting for one to happen to me 
74. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: if it happened to me 
75. SANTA CLAUS: nope 
76. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: we will see on my first date :) 
77. ANGELS: haven’t really thought about it

OTHER: 
78. CURRENT BEST FRIEND’S NAME: Emily/Emilia (2 different ppl) 
79. EYE COLOR: blue 
80. FAVORITE MOVIE: 10 things I hate about you

i tag my followers!!!! love u all

[winterbuckytho]

Meanwhile, It’s Calm⁽ᴾᵃʳᵗ ¹⁾: There’s A first Time For Everything

It's awkward waking up staring into the eyes of such a lovely person. Bucky stares at you for a very long time before looking anywhere else or saying anything. He seems to suddenly notice how long he's stared and unlocks his gaze from yours. His face was a bit pale but now it reddens as he looks away from you.

"Hello, Sargent Barnes. I'm Y/N. I'll be working with you for a while. I'll be a sort of liaison and personal care attendant. For now I'd like to ask, are you feeling well?" You ask.

"-eh hehm," Bucky clears his throat before speaking, "I'm ok. I think I'm.. ok..." He says quietly. You instantly love his voice. It's not the deepest voice, but there's something you like about it all the same. "How...how long...?"

"It's been about 6 months since you've been in cryosleep. We have some evaluations and examinations we would like to do, keeping a record of your health will help us greatly in helping you, Sargent Barnes." You explain.

"Sargent?" He rasps. 'She's cute, I like her.' He thinks.  He says, "I think it's safe to say I am no longer enlisted, Y/N. Just call me Bucky."

"Oh!...uh I will, Mister...er, I mean Bucky." You blush and get weird goosebumps on the back of your head.

For a few days you help Bucky acclimate a bit before all the questions and physicals start. There is a suite in the hospital which was made ready in advance. It's more like a hotel suite. There are two rooms with separate bathrooms, the master bath having a big deep bath tub. There is a small kitchen area he calls the pantry. Separating the pantry and the living room is an island counter where you two eat most nights. You show him around and help him get comfortable. He is at first reluctant and overwhelmed after realizing you'll be doing his cooking and cleaning, helping him groom, helping him dress. You help arrange his many appointments over the next few weeks and offer details of his medical options.

One night, when you make dinner, you make seven layers nachos. Usually Bucky stays in the pallor on the other side of the island counter, but this time the smells wafting over to him make him curious. He comes over, sits at one of the stools near the island and watches you cook.

"I kinda feel like you get a taste of everything this way. Plus they're such a good way to eat veggies. Have you ever had this?" You say over your shoulder as you layer chips, meat, queso, Spanish rice, beans, salsa and sour cream on to a platter for the two of you to share.

He shakes his head and says, "No, but I'm ready to try it."

You set it on the island and use the amazon Echo to play soft rock music. You sit down to dinner and Bucky puts out his hand, "Humor me?" he asks.

You take his hand and he recites " 'Bless us oh, Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ Our Lord, Amen.' Uhm, thanks Y/N, I know it's not customary these days, but old habits die hard."

"No problem, I don't mind helping you feel more at home." You say.

On another note you ask,"There's this restaurant in the states, Taco Bell. You ever had it?" You pick one of the loaded chips on you edge of the plate and pop it into your mouth. Some of your lettuce escapes before you eat, giving an embarrassed giggle you move it from the table to you napkin.

While you chew he answers. "I've heard of it, but not eaten there, I couldn't quite tell what they're selling. I mean, what's a gordida? A dorito taco?" He picks a chip, then looses some of his salsa on the trip from the table to his mouth. He seems a bit frustrated at his single hand.

You swallow your food and take a sip of the ice tea you made to go with dinner. "Hey, it's ok. This kind of meal is meant to be a bit messy," You say with a nod. "Well, they're supposed to serve stuff like this, kind of Americanized Mexican food. But it's terrible, so most people make these things at home if they want it to taste really good. We have a running joke that only people on the way home from bars truly like the food there."

He's tucking in with gusto now, not feeling so self-conscious about his arm. He eats a chip and says, "Why would anyone open a restaurant chain that sells bad food? Well, then again I've had my share of questionable meals whilst drunk and sober. Some of the things streetvenders sold back home..."Bucky wipes his mouth on his napkin and has a drink of tea.

You two finish up the nachos and you rinse the dishes and put everything in the dishwasher. Bucky doesn't leave the table, so you sit back down across from him.

When he starts to speak, you just listen.

"I didn't have to live with it when it happened before," He says gesturing to his left and flexing his shoulder on that side.

"As soon as I lost the first one, my real one, Zola put on that... the other one on right away. So I didn't have to live the reality of having lost a limb. And then...they did what they did to me and it didn't matter after that. I'm so...I don't know, confused, discouraged, " He sighs. "...this really hard."

"It may be hard but I'm sure you'll get through it, Bucky." You walk around the island and kneel at his side. You take his hand in yours and say, "You are a good person and I know that someday you can be fully deprogramed and will get to have what you want. Just please, believe in yourself. Believe in whatever it is Steve loves about you. He can't be wrong if he's been in your corner all this time."

He nods as if he's just decided something, takes in a deep breath and takes his hand from yours. He cups it softly around your left cheek. He leans in to kiss you with tears still stuck on his eyelashes. When your lips touch, something passes from you to him and you know quite suddenly you want to love this man. You press forward, accepting his kiss like mana from heaven. He lets out a little quiet moan and ends the kiss. He pulls his hand away slighty, as if questioning what he's doing.You take his hand in yours again and pull him up from the stool. You take him to bed.

You undress slowly with him. He does what he can, you help him with the rest. You tell him you keep lube, toys, gloves and condoms in the draw of the left night stand. He qives you a look filled with humor. "They told me to bring everything I need." You say seriously.

You draw him down to the bed with you and for a few minutes of passionate kissing, you close your eyes and see the proverbial fireworks going off. Then he slows down a bit and pulls away.

"I haven't...I haven't done this before..."He says quietly looking down.

"You're a viRGIN!!??" You squeal. The very idea makes you feel lucky and confident at the same time.

"What?!" He says, giving you a look of incredulity,"No, no-no, I mean my arm. I usually do things a certain way, but now, I.."

"Oh, right, sorry. I wasn't thinking with my head for a second, haha. Hey, don't worry, we'll take it slow and figure it out when we get there." You say to reassure him.

You climb on to his lap and kiss his chest, when you nip at his nipples lightly he writhes around under you and you can feel his stiffening cock pressing against the soft flesh of your vulva and clitoris. You suck in his left nipple and rock your hips slowly back and forth."Ah, yeah!" Bucky quietly. The feeling, it's a sweet and strong nectar that you both take in little by little. Soon you both breath heavily and moan aloud.

You sense him getting ready, getting started building the energy that will turn into an orgasm. You slow your rhythm and sit up. You change your position until you can take his glans into you mouth. You suck hard, making short up and down movements with your head while you hold his cock still with one hand and make stroking movements with your other hand that synchronize with you head.

From the first your tongue touched him, he's pressing his hips up to meet your mouth, eager to feel your wet warm lips around his cock. "Ohffu, ohmfuh, oh! God, yes baby, that's just right! Oh, please--, agh!"

You love making him feel good, it's making you wet. You release both hands and start letting your open mouth drift further and further down his shaft slowly. When your face is touching the soft bed of fur around the base of his penis, you slowly press further, as far as you can, keeping you tongue flattened and your jaws loose. You begin slowly coming back up and when you can see again, you see he's been watching you the whole time, you see he likes watching you do it. He's breathing from his open mouth and his eyes are half hooded. You do it again and again and again, slowly, always slowly.

You notice your saliva glands are producing so much spit. Using it as lube you take his shaft in both hands and begin an up and down stroking, moving from the elbow and with your hands make twisting motions, clockwise with one hand counter clockwise with the other. The slipperiness between your legs is on your inner thighs now, you are so hot, so excited.

"Oh, I gonna cum too soon, I won't be able to last, if we--" Bucky huffs out sharp gasps of air after each sentence.

"Why do men always think women only want to cum once?" You say in a quiet playful voice,"Oh, I want to make you cum many times, I want to do it till we can't any more."

You cover the head of his cock with your mouth and rub your flattened tongue over the slit there. When he cums you swallow it all, listening as he says,"Cumming in your mouth feels so good, I love this so much!"

When you sit up again he begins franticly trying to pull you up on the bed with his one hand. You scoot and crawl till he's leaning down trying to kiss your belly, your navel, your bush of soft pubic hair.

"How do you want me?" You ask.

You are shocked when he answers,"On my face! Sit on my face, girl. There's a nice seat for you, yeah. Oh, my God I want to taste you so much, come on, sit on my face and let me eat you!"

He scoots over on the bed so he's in the center and instructs you to face the headboard and rest a knee on each side of his head, so your crotch is just above his face. Bucky reaches, up caressing your right breast and while looking you in the eye begins to lick. His tongue is a bit cool and he's making rings shapes around and around your clit. It's such a tease, it's indirectly stimulating you and making you want more while at the same time making you slide further and further into bliss. So much so, you don't notice when you finally let go of self-consciousness and let your weight rest on his face. When you do, he says, "Ride my tongue, baby!!" and slips his tongue inside you and moves his hand down your body, beginning to rub your clit with his arm around the back of your thigh.

"Uh! Yeah! Bucky! Gah, ha!" You exclaim, drawing his name out in a long gasp, reaching out and taking the wooden headboard in both hands for leverage while you toss your head and arch your back. You can feel your hair brushing against your neck and shoulders. Your eyes are squeezed shut as your ecstasy begins to rise. You do as he asked, you rock back and forth, you roll your hips in big circles, you're just barely able to control yourself. From the waist down everything feels better than you've ever felt, no one has ever made you cry out this much or this loudly.

You don't want to cum too soon, you wan to feel what he's doing for a longer amount of time so you bridge your back and lean one hand down so you can stroke him. He takes his hand away and licks your clit. He bends his knees and pushes his hips up to your hand and when he moans while you jerk his cock, you can feel it vibrating and traveling through you. He makes you cum and soon you make him cum again too. You both cry out together, his is muffled, yours is loud.

You get up for some water for the two of you and when you come back he's got the night table draw open. He's sitting up against the headboard, sweaty hair in his face. He' s got an empty condom wrapper between his teeth and is carefully putting it on himself.

"I'm not done with you yet." He says between his teeth. It gives you an impression of vehemence which instantly makes your knees weak.

While you drink your water he tells you what he wants to do. While he drinks his, you move the blankets and pillows around so when he's ready Bucky can lean his left upper torso on them. After he gives you his glass, which you place on the nightstand and you lay down in front of him, your back to his chest. He lifts your right leg and places it on top of his right leg. He presses his hips forward, entering you while you lay in spooning position.

When he begins to move, his glans presses into you vaginal walls and it feels nothing you ever felt. His movement is slow and you rock in time with him pushing your pelvis back and down. "Oooh!! Yea! Just like that, Bucky!" You call out.

His hand slides back along your upper thigh, then forward on to your tummy, next up to your chest. He rubs his open palm over your breasts and then his hand drifts up to the side of your neck. He pulls you higher up on the pillows a bit and kisses your cheek softly, he kisses your temple next and then he takes your lower ear lope in his mouth and sucks gently. His breathing is a deep quiet panting, his warm breath brushing your face and neck. He moves his hand back down your body and cupping it over you vulva, begins to rub you with all four fingers flattened and kept close together. As he does you unknowingly tighten your pc muscles and he moans, "Huh! Uh-huhn! Uh-huhn!" into your ear as he pulls and pushes in and out of you.

You can feel the orgasm building again, but suddenly he says " I want to see you, I want to see when you cum. You're so beautiful, I want to see your face," pulling out and getting comfortable on his back then scooting up to sitting position.

You get on top and take his hand, lacing your fingers together. You begin moving from the knee, raising and lowering yourself on to his cock. You lean in and french kiss him, your tongues massaging one another as you move. You lean out of the kiss, bridging you back again and holding up your torso with both hands behind you on the bed. This way you have more balance and you go faster.

"Oh, yes, give it to me! Fuck me, fuck me!" Bucky says, caressing your body again and bucking his hips hard into yours when your bodies come together. You close your eyes, you let your head hang back. His roaming hand returns to your breast and this time he squeezes your left nipple hard between his thumb and forefinger. Not hard enough to hurt, just hard enough to drive to you scream with pleasure. He pulls on it until it slips from his grasp over and over. He bathes in the noises you make each time he does it. He takes your other nipple after and rubs it between his fingers just as hard as he was pulling the other. You respond by quickening the pace.

"Bucky, I'm gonna cum!" You hear yourself saying. He puts his arm around your waist, pulls you close pressing you against his chest and he bends his head forward to your left nipple and starts licking it. It's so sensitive, there's a blast of pleasure from it. You cum after a few passes of his wet slippery tongue.

"Keep going, baby, please, keep going...keep fucking me!" He says still holding you tight. He presses his face between your breasts and you can feel him licking the soft cool skin there. So instead of slowing, you follow his pace, getting faster with every thrust. You are hyper sensitive after orgasm and it takes all the will you have to stay on his lap. You cum again, this time there is a huge warm sensation flooding out of you. Then he cums too. He pants, "Ha! Ha! Ha!" on each exhalation.

[lumiolivier]

Chapter Twenty-One:  Long Live the Red Hats

Word Count:  6050

Chapter No. 21/?

Notes:  There is something that gets a little cringy and borders into harassment, but it’s not too terribly bad.  I’m also thinking about posting this to Fiction Press to boost my numbers over there.  Thoughts?

Chapter Twenty:  Hangovers and a Harajuku Staple

He may have cleaned up. He may have quit smoking pot.  But at the end of the day, Kyle was still Kyle and Kyle was late.  With the way last night went, though, I wasn’t complaining.  The last thing I wanted to do today was babysit.  It was bad enough I had Veronica.  I didn’t need that in my life today.  What I needed was cold, blended, and caffeinated all to hell.

 “You want me make you something, baby?” Julian offered.

 “Yes, please,” I grabbed our aprons from under the register, “Can I have a bridge to jump from?”

 “No,” he shot me down, “You’re not that bad.  You’ll be fine.”

 “I don’t want to work overtime tonight,” I pouted, “I don’t want to work here period.”

 “Then, what do you want to do?” Julian asked, flipping the machines on.

 “I want to travel the country,” I sighed out, flipping the open sign, “I want to cosplay with you. I want for some publisher to see my shit and think I’m a good writer and for this to not be a colossal waste of time.”

 “You are a good writer,” he assured.

 “How would you know?” I rested my throbbing head in my hands, “You don’t read fan fiction.”

 “Oh really?” Julian handed me an iced latte with two shots of espresso, “I don’t read fan fiction, Miss Ouran High School Host Club/Black Butler crossover?  Miss Kiss, Kiss, Sign a Contract?”

 “Excuse me?” I perked up.

 “Miss Sebastian Michaelis lies dormant in the soul of Kyoya Ootori?” he smirked, “And Ciel Phantomhive’s in Haruhi Fujioka?  And you say I don’t read fan fiction.”

 “Somebody’s been busy,” I blushed, “When did you start reading my fan fiction?”

 “Last night,” Julian admitted, “I was bored, sitting in that diner by myself.  I tried getting a hold of Paul, but he wasn’t answering.”

 “I’m sorry,” I felt bad for him, “I didn’t ask you to follow us.”

 “But I did anyway,” he beamed, all proud of himself, “So, question.”

 “What?”

 “What made you cross them?” Julian wondered, “Why Kyoya with Sebastian and Haruhi with Ciel?”

 “Well,” I explained, “In the English dub, Kyoya and Sebastian have the same voice actors.  In the Japanese dub, Ciel and Haruhi have the same voice actors.  It was begging for a crossover.  Not to mention, if you think about it, Sebastian and Kyoya aren’t very different. You can’t tell me that in a modern setting, Sebastian wouldn’t be mistaken for yakuza.”

 “Yeah,” he agreed, “I see it.  But yes. I’ve read something you’ve written. It’s wonderful and I’m so proud. But since you showed me yours, I suppose it’s time I show you mine, right?”

 “Slow down there, friend,” I stopped him, “What are you talking about?”

 “My portfolio,” Julian gave me a look, “What else would I be showing you?”

 “You know damn well what,” I nudged him.

 “Mimi,” he gasped, “I am a classier lady than that.”

 “Are you?” I grabbed the first customer’s order, “Are you really?”

 “Yes, I am,” Julian covered himself, being a drama queen, “I am more than just an object.”

 “I know, honey,” I giggled, “You’re also a massive dork.”

 “I could’ve told you that.”

 “Hold on,” I stopped in the middle of making a cappuccino, “What’s today?”

 “Tuesday?”

 “What day?”

 “The twenty-ninth,” Julian started to get nervous, “What’s the twenty-ninth got to do with anything? Should I have gone full Russell?”

 “Don’t worry about it,” I promised, “You don’t need to pull out Russell.  You’re fine.  It’s just…It’s the last Tuesday of the month.”

 “That’s all well and good, Mimi,” he questioned my sanity, “But what’s that supposed to mean?”

“The last Tuesday of every month,” I grinned, “You’ll see.  Just wait for it.  It should be happening in the next hour or so.”

 “What kind of drugs are you on today?” Julian joked, “Or is sleep deprivation screwing with your head?”

 “Neither,” I made the woman’s change, “Don’t worry.  It’s nothing bad.”

 “Mimi!” Kyle stumbled through the doors.

 “Where have you been?” I scolded, “You’re usually only ten minutes late.  We’ve been open for an hour, Kyle.”

 “I know,” he kept his head down, “And I’m sorry.  I’m…I feel great.”

 “Oh, Kyle,” I let out a heavy, exasperated, and disappointed sigh, “Look at me.”

 “Um…”

 “Kyle,” I forced his gaze. Surprise, surprise.  If I couldn’t smell it on him, his glazed over, bloodshot eyes gave it away.  Fantastic. Kyle falling off the wagon. There’s what I needed today, “You went back, didn’t you?”

 “Mary Jane’s a cruel mistress,” he pushed through the kitchen doors, “And she’s got a tight grip on my heart.”

 “Dammit, Kyle,” I grumbled.

 “Sorry, Mimi…”

 “Not even noon and I need a drink,” I growled, “They better hurry up.”

 “Who?” Julian asked.

 “Again,” I settled, catching a tiny contact buzz from the dumbass in the kitchen, “You’ll see. Now, do me a favor and keep an eye on him.”

 “Sure,” he nodded.

 “I’ll let you know when they get here,” I told, “Watch him like a hawk, Julian.”

 “Yes, ma’am,” Julian gave me a half salute and went to take over my babysitting duties.  I couldn’t handle Kyle baked today.  All I wanted to do today was lay on Julian’s couch after work with my head in his lap and watch whatever cartoons the good people of Japan had to offer us.  But I had the supreme honor of staying over.  I just needed a night of calm.  I needed the first night Julian and I spent together again.  Maybe even the night after we met.

 “My goodness,” a small bus had unloaded into the café, “Look at you, Mimi!  You’ve gotten so big!  I remember when you were just a little thing.”

 “Hi, Betty,” I couldn’t have been happier when this sweet, adorable, old lady stood in front of me, donning a big, red hat, “I’m not that big.  I’m still that little girl inside.”

 “You should stay that way,” she insisted, “That way, you’ll never get old.”

 “I’ll keep that in mind,” my heart felt so full, “What can I get for you?”

 “I don’t know,” Betty looked over the menu, “I don’t want anything fancy.”

 “How about a simple coffee?” I offered, “Maybe some French vanilla creamer?”

 “That sounds heavenly!” she chimed, “Yes, please!”

 “Do you want anything with it?” I asked, “Muffin?  Scone? Cinnamon roll?”

 “I think I’ll have a muffin,” Betty decided, “Banana nut.”

 “One of those sounds pretty good right about now,” I agreed with her, “In fact, I think there’s a batch about to come out right now.  Julian!”

 “Hold on, sweetheart,” he warned me, coming out of the kitchen with a tray on his arm, “These are still pretty warm.”

 “What kind are those?”

 “Orange cranberry and banana nut,” Julian stocked the case, “What’s up?”

 “Aren’t you adorable!” Betty sang out, “You must be new!”

 “Yeah,” he melted, “I’ve been here a couple weeks now.”

 “Julian, this is Betty,” I introduced him, “She’s the president of the Lenexa Red Hats.  Betty, this is Julian.  No title.”

 “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Betty,” Julian gushed, “I’ve heard a bit about you.”

 “It’s nice to meet you, too, honey,” she awed, leaning over to me, “Mimi, he’s cute.”

 “Yeah,” I started turning pink, “He is.  Just moved to town.”

 “Where are you from, Julian?” Betty asked.

 “I was born in Chicago,” he told, “But I moved here from St. Louis.”

 “City boy?” she shot me glances, “City boys aren’t boy scouts.”

 “Betty,” I slid her coffee across the counter, “Play nice.”

 “I did a couple weeks of survival training once,” Julian admitted, “I’m pretty sure boy scouts wish they were me.”

 “Alright,” Betty let it go, “I like him.  He’s ok with me.”

 “I’m glad we have your approval,” I giggled under my breath, “Six dollars even.  Julian, will you be a lamb and grab a muffin, please?”

 “What kind?” he asked.

 “Banana nut.”

 “Of course,” Julian pulled a muffin out of the pastry case and put it in a paper bag, “Here, Betty.”

 “Thank you, honey,” Betty smiled, making the entire world light up.

 “How long are you and the girls with us today?” I wondered.

 “We promise we won’t be too much trouble,” she teased, “We’re going up to Kansas City today. This should be a quick in and out for us.”

 “What’s in Kansas City?” I grabbed the next Red Hat in line.

 “We’re doing the gardens tour,” one of the others, Martha, broke into our conversation.

 “That sounds beautiful,” I approved, “I’m jealous.  You guys couldn’t have picked a prettier day.”

 “I wish you could come with us, Mimi,” Betty sighed, “It’s such a sight.  You don’t get to see much for flowers around here.”

 “No, we don’t,” I started on an earl grey tea for Martha, “Mostly hay fields and soybeans around here.”

 “Why don’t you play a little hooky?” Martha instigated, “Come with us!”

 “I can’t,” I broke the news, “I have to keep things running around here.  I’m in enough hot water with the boss as it is.  I had to skip out early yesterday and now, I have to stay and balance the books tonight.”

 “When will Jeffrey Griffin learn?” Betty pouted, “You have a life, too, sweetheart.  He can’t have a hold on your soul.”

 “That’s right,” another one of the Red Hats joined us.  Gladys. I loved Gladys, “You’re a free spirit, Mimi.  And it needs to be let out of its cage once in a while.”

 “When was the last time you went out and had any fun?” Martha asked.

 “Last night,” I told, “But it wasn’t really for me to have fun.  My best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and I needed to cheer her up.”

 “That’s awfully sweet of you,” Gladys praised, “But you still need to do some things for yourself, too.”

 “That’s what I tell her!” Julian chimed in, “All the time!”

 “You’d think she’d start listening,” Betty gave Julian a little nudge.

 “Maybe one day.”

 “Remind me to hit you later,” I teased.

 “Will do!”

 “I like him,” Martha sang.

 “Me, too,” Gladys agreed, “Is he your boyfriend, Mimi?”

 “No,” I tried to keep my shakes under wraps, “He can’t be my boyfriend.  We can’t date coworkers.”

 “Again,” Betty raised hell, “Why won’t Jeffrey let you live your life?”

 “I don’t know.”

 “Probably because he’s so miserable in his own life,” Martha assumed, “He has to make everyone just as miserable.”

 “Amen, sister!” Julian gave her a high five.

 “Well, we should be off,” Betty grabbed her banana nut muffin, “It was lovely meeting you, Julian.”

 “You, too,” Julian surrendered to her hug.  There was no turning that down, “Come back soon, ok?”

 “We will,” she assured, “Last Tuesday, like always.”

 “You ladies enjoy your trip,” I grabbed the door for them.

 “And Mimi,” Gladys took my hand, “Please.  Don’t let Griffin rule your life.  Or anyone else.  If you want to quit your job and see the world, do it.  If you want to love that hot piece of ass in there, do it.  I saw the way he looks at you and it wouldn’t surprise me if the feeling was mutual.  If you want to run around the home with your underwear on your head, don’t let the orderly give you a sedative and a bite guard.  You spit out that bite guard and your medication and put your panties on your head.  To hell what people think!”

 In her own, strange way, Gladys told me exactly what I needed to hear.  I knew I loved her for a reason.  I gave her the biggest hug, but not too much.  Gladys was fragile, “Thank you, Gladys.  I think today is that day.”

 “That’s my girl!” she kissed my cheek, “Good luck, Mimi.”

 I was going to need it. As the Red Hats emptied out of the café, I got back to cleaning tables, hoping it’d be enough to get Griffin off my back and I wouldn’t have to stay.  Then again, there’s a possibility that Gladys’ speech sparked something in me. Gave me the balls to leave here without a job.  There goes my Crunchyroll premium account.  Still got Netflix, though.

 “Julian,” I sighed out, already exhausted and it was only noon, “Will you still love me if I’m out of a job?”

 “Of course,” he promised, “What are you talking silliness about?”

 “Post them,” I demanded.

 “What?”

 “Light and Misa,” I elaborated, “I think I’m putting in my two weeks.  This place doesn’t deserve me.”

 “Good for you, Mimi,” Julian beamed, “I’m proud of you.”

 “Although,” I thought it over, “Quitting could cause a lot of collateral damage.  There’s a chance I’ll end up getting kicked out.”

 “If you do,” he took my hand under the counter, “Then, it’s a good thing I’m down the road, isn’t it?”

 “You’d let me move in?” my heart radiated such a warmth.

 “Of course,” Julian confirmed, “Like I’d let you live on the street.  Don’t give me that.”

 I rested my head on his shoulder, “What would I do without you?”

 “I don’t know,” he threw his arm around me, “You’d probably fall apart.  Just a little, though.  You’re tough. You can do this.”

 “So,” I perked up, “I’m doing this?  I’m really doing this?”

 “I’m sure you have dreams bigger than the café,” Julian assumed, “At least I’m hoping so.”

 “I want to get published, dammit!” I pitched a little fit, “But I’ve looked into it and it’s a long, drawn out, pain in the ass process.  The last publisher I talked to said I’d have to wait at least six months after submission for them to even come around to reading my manuscript. Not to mention, I haven’t had an original idea in months.”

 “You could write about us,” he suggested.

 “That’s sweet, Julian,” I let him down gently, “But I don’t think I could do us justice.”

 “Or maybe,” Julian thought it over, “You could write a fic so good that someone from a studio sees it and you end up writing the source material.”

 “That’s even more farfetched than me writing about us.”

 “Think about it,” he put things into perspective, “Your fan fiction.  That’s an original idea, isn’t it?”

 “No,” I clarified, “That’s an off-shoot of the series.”

 “Is it?” Julian went on, “The idea had to come from somewhere.  If you change the names around a little, you can convert your fan fiction into an original.”

 “And with some major plot reconstruction,” I figured, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, Julian, but I don’t think it’s going to work.”

 “Maybe that’s your problem,” he grabbed the next order for me, “Maybe you should start thinking things can happen and things can work.  My god, I need to get you around some of my friends.”

 “What good is that going to do?” I asked, resituating the pastry case.

 “Maybe once you’re amongst the more creative types cut from the same cloth we are,” he figured, “You’ll start seeing it.”

 “Where did your sudden surge of optimism come from?”

 “I blame the Red Hats,” he smiled, “Come on, Mimi.  You can do this.  You’re not staying over.  You’re coming home when you’re supposed to.  And you’re going to be there when I post our shots from Sunday.  Think.  What would Light do?”

 “Write Griffin’s name in the notebook,” I chuckled a bit, “Then, we’d all be out of a job.”

 “Ok, bad example,” Julian caught, “Better one.  What would the Elric boys do?”

 “Don’t,” I stopped him, “Don’t you dare use my babies against me, Julian.  That’s a dick move.”

 “What would the Elric boys do?” he repeated himself.

 “Dammit,” I grumbled under my breath, “They’d keep moving forwards.  Both of my legs are real, so I have that going for me.”

 “I guess you could say you have a leg up…”

 “Goddammit, Julian…” I shook my head at him.

 “Got you to smile,” he chimed.

 “You’re an idiot,” I rolled my eyes with a little smile on my face.

 “Hi, Mimi!” Veronica came in as her bright and bubbly self.

 “Hi, sweetie,” I gave her a look, “You’re in awfully high spirits.  Get your revenge lay already?”

 “Even better!” she sang out, “I’m not returning my homecoming dress!”

 “Awesome!” I threw my arms around her, “You’re still going?”

 “I sure am,” Veronica grinned darkly, “You know Luke’s best friend Eric?”

 “Yeah.  He’s a good kid.”

 “Guess who I’m going with now?”

 “No!” I gasped, “Does Eric know it’s a rebound thing?”

 “He said Luke didn’t deserve me in the first place,” she shrugged, “We’ll see how well this goes and if something takes off from there.”

 “Are Luke and Eric at odds?” I wondered, getting her usual coffee order.

 “Eric knew about Luke’s side bitch,” Veronica explained, “Apparently, she’s going to school somewhere in Wichita and they met after an away game.  Her little brother was playing on the opposite team.  Eric told Luke to stay away from her.  The fact that he went around behind his back pissed him off.  And now, I’m going to homecoming with my ex’s best friend.  Life is looking up!”

 “Good for you, Veronica,” Julian chimed in, “See?  I told you it’d get better.”

 “I have some appointments to reschedule,” she grabbed her cup, “Thought I’d drop by and deliver the good news.”

 “That’s great news, Roni,” I applauded, “So, no more frown town?”

 “Nope!”

 “Good,” I sent her out, “Go on.  I got other customers.”

 “Bye!”

 It did my heart good to see that girl in such a good mood again.  And that was the final signal from the universe I needed.  Gladys’ pep talk.  Veronica’s revenge date.  Julian saying he’d let me crash with him if worst comes to worst.  Good things come in threes, right?  Now, all I had to do was wait for Griffin to show his face.  I had three years of anger built up deep inside. I couldn’t, in good conscience, keep all of that in.  That’s how ulcers happen.

 “Looks like the apple cart is still on all its wheels,” Julian noticed, “Ready to shake it up some more?”

 “I need Griffin to come in,” I psyched myself up.

 “You can do this,” he assured, “You deserve better and you know it.”

 “Yes, I do,” I hyped, “I don’t need this kind of anger in my life anymore.  Not worth the stress.”

 “There’s my girl,” Julian praised as the bell above the door announced Griffin’s arrival, “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

 “Mr. Griffin,” I stopped him, “Do you have a minute?”

 “Always for you, Mimi,” his voice gave me chills.  And not the good kind of chills like Julian’s did.  More like a snake crawling under my skin, “What’s up?  You’re not trying to get out of your overtime, are you?”

 “No, sir,” I shook my head, “I appreciate what you’ve done for me the past three years.”

 “And I you,” Mr. Griffin put his hand on my shoulder, making me cringe, “You know, sweetheart, I’m glad I have you.  If I didn’t, I’m not sure if this little café would be able to stand.  And all the people that make this a regular stop on their way to work would have nowhere else to go.”

 Dammit.  He knows my weakness.  No, Mimi.  Stay strong, “You’re exaggerating.”

 “No, I’m not,” he assured, “You are my angel, Mimi.  You keep my son in line, my numbers in the black, and you provide a great service to our little community.  Keep up the good work, kiddo.  I’m proud of you.”

 “But…” I couldn’t speak. I got so tongue tied.  And before I knew it, he was gone.  He had just come in to check on the café.  To make sure we weren’t getting into trouble.  Shit!

 “What happened?” Julian worried, “I thought you were going to put in your two weeks.”

 “He knows the magic of guilt,” I cringed, “Manipulative prick.”

 “That’s called a toxic relationship,” he explained, “They don’t always have to be romantic.  If it’s two people and one is holding something over the other in order to get what they want, it’s toxic.  In this case, it’s your paycheck.  You don’t need that.”

 “Yet, I folded like a cheap suit,” I grumbled.

 “People like him are going to do that,” Julian went on, “You have to fight past that.  You can’t let him make you feel an inch tall for the sake of not rocking the boat.  Make that boat capsize.  He’s not banking on the fact that you know how to swim.”

 “Tomorrow,” I sighed out, “There’s always tomorrow, right?”

 “Yeah,” he nodded, “What’s the point in waiting until tomorrow?  You’ll end up putting it off again.”

 “Where were you last night when I needed to get Veronica out of her slump?”

 “Right across the street,” Julian reminded me, “I’m always there, baby.  Never doubt that.”

 “Thank you, Julian,” my voice broke a little.

 “Hey,” he wiped my cheek, “Don’t start on me.  He’s not worth getting upset over.  You can tell Griffin what for tomorrow, got it?”

 “Ok,” I pulled myself together and finished work for the day.  As soon as we closed up, I threw Julian my car keys and holed up in the office. I hated balancing the books with a burning passion.  The things I do for you, Veronica Sue.  The things I do for you.  I made myself Julian’s usual poison of choice and got to work.

 The tedious…mind numbing…busy work.  In this tiny, cramped office, not much bigger than my closet.  Julian told me I could get over my writer’s block this way. That the vast blankness in the repetitive actions would knock something loose.  How was I supposed to finish the Free! fic like this?  I was stuck in a small office crunching numbers.  The Free! fic took place near the ocean.  In Rin’s apartment.  I was nowhere near that.  I’d rather be there than here.  Ideally, I’d be at Julian’s, but here I was.

 Ding!

 I stuck my head out of the office and looked toward the door, “How you doing, Mimi?”

 “Good,” I let out a heavy sigh.  Griffin. Fan-fucking-tastic.  Just what I wanted.

 “That’s what I like to hear,” he praised, “You’re my favorite little worker bee.”

 “Does that make you the queen bee?” I joked, almost mad at myself for saying that out loud.

 “King bee,” he corrected me. No such thing, but I’ll let him have it, “Do you need anything?  Doing ok?”

 “It’s just balancing the books, Mr. Griffin,” I bit my tongue, “I think I can manage.”

 “That’s my girl,” Mr. Griffin put his arm around me, lightly massaging my shoulder.

 “Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I gagged a little, getting out from under him, “I need to get back to work.”

 “This can wait,” he brushed me off, getting his grip back on my arm, “Can’t it?  It’s just numbers.  They’re not going anywhere.”

 Come on, Mimi.  Toxic, remember?  Stay strong.  Do this for you.  Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.  Ultimately, it’s your decision.  Now or never.  Don’t wait until tomorrow.  You can do this.  You can do this.  You can do this.  This is crazy, but you can do this.

 “Mr. Griffin, I’m moving,” I blurted out, “I’m putting in my two weeks as of now.”

 “What?” I caught him off guard, “No, you’re not.  You can’t leave me.”

 No.  Don’t let him use guilt, “I have to.  I need to move onward and upward with my life.”

 “No, you’re not,” he shot me down, “You’re not going anywhere.”

 I can do this, “Yes, I am. I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t make that decision.”

 “I thought you were up to something,” Mr. Griffin snarled, “I thought you were going to quit on me. Not surprised.  You’ve only been here for three years.  It’s not like you’re that motivated to do anything.”

 “Excuse me?” I shot him a glare.

 “If you were,” he argued, “You would’ve been out of here ages ago.  Instead, you’ve had this job since you graduated and haven’t left. You don’t have a college education. You’re lucky you even graduated high school.  It’s not like you have any other skills.  You’re even quiet around the customers.  You’re not going anywhere, Mimi.  I know better.”

 My heart started racing, beating out of my chest, “Yes, I am.”

 “Where?” Mr. Griffin asked, “Where are you going?  I know how much you make in a year.  It’s not like you’re going very far.  You probably couldn’t afford a studio apartment in Kansas City.  I took you in when you had nowhere else to go.  I took care of you.  Anything you wanted, it was yours.  I even got you a little extra help.  And this is how you thank me?  No. You’re not going anywhere.”

 “No,” I grabbed my bag, taking the biggest leap of my life, “I am.  I am going somewhere and that somewhere isn’t here.  I’m done.”

 “If you walk out that door,” Mr. Griffin threatened, “Don’t think you’ll walk back in tomorrow morning with a job.”

 “Good,” I grinned, “That was the point.  You need me more than I need you.”

 I pushed through the front door, pleasantly surprised with myself.  Good for me.  I’m proud of you, Mimi.  You did it. You grew a spine.  The only suck part now was my lack of employment. Instead of calling Julian right away, I decided to take a walk down the road to the Pit Stop.  If anyone could be any comfort to me right now, it’d be Sal.

 “Hey!” he sang as I walked in, “There’s my favorite customer!”

 “Hi, Sal,” I let out a heavy sigh, post adrenaline rush.

 “What’s that all about?” Sal worried, already getting my ice cream for me, “You seem down.”

 “Not really down,” I explained, “More like lost.”

 “Talk to me, princess,” he offered, “What’s got you lost?”

 “I just quit,” I admitted, “I just quit my job at the café.”

 “Oh,” Sal put his scoop down and came around to the other side of the counter, giving me the biggest hug he could’ve possibly given me, “I’m proud of you, Mimi.”

 “Why?” I wondered, “Why would me quitting my job make you proud?”

 “Because you were too good for him!” Sal growled, “My brother, as much as I love him, can be…Well, there’s no nicer way of saying this.  He can be an asshole.”

 “And how,” I agreed, giggling a little.

 “And he was no more an asshole to anyone than you,” his tirade went on, “From day one.  And you didn’t need that.”

 “That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” I sat down, “But now, I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

 “That’s what life is, sweetheart,” Sal settled a bit, “Don’t go looking for it.  It’ll find you.”

 “Can I be honest with you, Sal?” I blushed.

 “Always.”

 “I think life has found me,” I smiled, “In the form of the guy I was with last week.”

 “Thought so,” he brought me my double scoop, “I knew there was something going on with you two.  But doesn’t he work at the café, too?”

 “I’m the one that got him the job,” my spoon hung out of my mouth.  You don’t think Griffin would do something so petty as to fire Julian because of me, do you?”

 “No,” Sal promised, “That would mean Jeffrey would have to come down from his high horse to do legwork. That’s not going to happen.  Don’t worry.  Julian’s job is safe.”

 Ring, ring.

 “Hold on,” I looked down at my phone, “I have to get this.”

 “Go ahead.”

 I slid my finger across my phone screen, “Hi, Mom.”

 “Where are you?” Mom worried, “You were supposed to be home two hours ago.”

 “Sorry,” I apologized, “I had to stay late.”

 “Well, hurry up and come home,” she begged, “We missed you!”

 “I will,” I promised, “It’ll be a little while yet.”

 “Fine,” she let me go, “Get back to work.”

 I hung up with my mother and threw my phone back in my bag, “I should be going.  Thanks for letting me vent, Sal.”

 “Anytime, honey,” he got back up, “If you need anything, let me know, ok?”

 I grabbed the shattered remains of my double scoop and left to clear my head.  Sal’s sage like wisdom always knew how to cheer me up, but I needed some time to think.  I bought myself another couple hours with my mom and Julian didn’t expect me to be done until ten.  It was a beautiful night, so I took a walk down to the public pool and climbed the high dive.

 I just quit my job.  I had no contingency plan.  I had no idea where I was going to go from there.  I put all my eggs into one basket with doing the con circuit with Julian.  Maybe someone’s already seen something in my fan fiction and told two friends who told two friends.  I got my phone out and checked my comment section.  Nope.  Squat. I’m screwed.  I have no job, hardly any money, and I have to cancel my Crunchyroll premium subscription.

 I just hoped it wouldn’t get to the point where I was so desperate for cash I had to start selling off my babies.  Some of my figurines and collectables were worth some serious money.  I had a State Alchemist pocket watch made with real silver. I had a replica of Ciel Phantomhive’s ring with an actual sapphire in it (even though in the anime and the manga, it was technically a blue diamond).  I couldn’t.  Or even worse than selling off my collectables?  I really hoped I didn’t have to resort to becoming a camgirl. Last resort.  If I’m on the street and starving, then and ONLY THEN would I consider becoming a camgirl.

 I don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to get my head right. Let’s look at the positives.  What I have right now.  I got…I got my ice cream.  I got the most beautiful views in all of Lenexa.  I got my health.  I got Julian. My parents waiting at home for me. Even though they were going to just bitch at me for quitting my job.  No, Mimi.  We’re thinking positive.  I’m hopeless…

 “I thought I’d find you up here,” a familiar voice called from the bottom of the ladder, “I stopped by the café and no one was there.  Drove by your parents’ house and they were the only ones home.  What, my dear Mimi, would you be doing on the high dive at this hour?”

 “Trying to make sense of the world,” I sighed out, “Sorry.  Didn’t mean to make you worry.”

 “That’s what I do,” Julian climbed up, “It’s a curse.  Now, back to the main question.  What are you doing here?”

 “I did it,” I told him, “I quit.  I tried putting my two weeks in.  Griffin wasn’t having it.  We got into it.  And he fired me.”

 “So, you’re done?” he asked, joining me on top, “It’s official?”

 “Pretty much.”

 “Good for you, Mimi,” Julian gave me a quick kiss, “What did he say?”

 “I told him I was moving,” I began, “H said I wasn’t going anywhere.  That I lacked motivation.  He tried giving me guilt trip again, so I got up and left.  He said if I walked out, I didn’t have a job tomorrow morning.”

 “And?”

 “And I told him that was the idea,” I rested my head on Julian’s shoulder, “Then, I went to the Pit Stop, got some ice cream, and came here.”

 “This was for the better,” Julian promised, “You know that, right?”

 “I know,” I cuddled into him, “I really hope the con circuit’s good to us, Julian.  Because that was a serious leap of faith.”

 “It will be,” he held me a little closer, “I got a text from Paul earlier with all our Death Note shots from the other day.  They’re in a neat little file on my phone.  All I have to do is post.”

 I grabbed his phone out of his jacket pocket, “Do it.  Right now.”

 “Right now?” Julian beamed, “We’re doing this right now?”

 “What better time?” I wondered, “Do it before I change my mind.”

 “Alright,” I watched him log into his website and saw the little green upload bar go up.  And the ‘Are you sure you want to upload this post?’ message popped up, “No going back.  You sure you want to do this?”

 I looked down at his phone screen and hit the yes button myself, “I’m sure.”

 Julian gave me a little kiss on my forehead, “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

 “Julian,” I wrapped his arm around me, “I’m scared.”

 “Don’t be,�� he assured, “I’m right here.  And I’m not going anywhere, remember?”

 “Not until May,” I reminded, “Then, we do the con circuit.”

 “Bye, bye, Lenexa.”

 “Yeah,” I had the sudden realization hit me.  In a little under eight months, I’d be leaving the only place I’ve ever called home.

 “Mimi?” Julian gave me a nudge, “You in there?  You blanked out for a minute, koibito.”

 “I did?” I came back.”

 “Yeah,” he nodded, “Maybe we should get you home.”

 “Yeah,” I agreed, swinging around to the ladder, “I should.  I mean, it’s not like I have to get up for work in the morning, but still.”

 “Here’s a thought,” Julian suggested, “Since it’ll be Wednesday and book club’s going to be trying to grab ass me again, you think you could make Russell happen for me?”

 “I thought you had Russell down to a science,” I pointed out, “What do you need me for?”

 “I always need you around,” he stole a kiss, “I’m lucky my head’s attached.”

 And that was the icing on this evening’s proverbial cake.  I needed that, “Sure.  Besides, it’ll be a good distraction, so my parents won’t find out about me quitting.”

 “You’re a big girl, Mimi,” Julian reminded me, “You’re free to make your own decisions.  And if you saw this as the best decision for you at the time, then let it be.”

 “I guess you’re right,” I started climbing down.

 “Now, stop staring at my ass,” he teased, “Or you’re not staying with me tonight.”

 “I can’t stay with you anyway,” I broke the news, “My parents just got home and Mom told me they miss me.”

 “Any idea where they went?” Julian asked.

 “St. Louis,” I assumed, “They’re suckers for the riverboats.”

 “Oh, the riverboats,” he chuckled to himself, “So many memories…So much puking…”

 “What?” I giggled with him.

 “I spent my twenty-first birthday on the riverboats,” Julian explained, “I didn’t realize how much they move when they’re in the water, so I learned quickly that wasted and seasick do not make a good combination.”

 “You idiot,” I rolled my eyes at him, jumping down from the bottom rung.

 “I’m your idiot,” he followed suit, “And you love me.”

 “Last time I checked,” I assumed, “You’re alright.”

 The two of us got into my car and started heading back home.  I really didn’t want him to go.  Just one more night.  They couldn’t have been gone one more night.  Unfortunately, though, all good things.  I got my good night kiss and went straight up to my room.  I knew they were going to want to tell me stories, but I just wanted to go to bed.  I wanted to be numb.

 Hold on…

 I looked under my bed and found an amber colored bottle waiting for me.  Bless you, Julian Cooke.  Bless you.  If you were here right now, I’d kiss you.  I cracked open the Fireball and started drinking.  Cinnamon whiskey would be my saving grace tonight.  If I had some vanilla ice cream and a bit of Rum Chata, I’d be making one hell of a milkshake.  But Sal was kind enough to give me enough rocky road for one night.  Besides, this would be plenty to get me to sleep.  I turned on some Fullmetal Alchemist, spooned Sebastian, and stuck a straw in the bottle.  Soon enough, it’d pull me under.