#ok i think i now realise why my heart is so attached to him

[niemernuet]

The pain is unending and the agony never ceases (Loïc Meillard, Madonna di Campiglio, 2022)

[gguk-n]

Hii i think your requests are open

Can I request a Logan Sargeant fic (cus he needs more like fr 😭)

An angst fluff where the reader is Alex's sister that just graduated with a engineering (related to cars for f1) and since the reader just graduated she's been following Alex for all the GPs and she sees how williams doesnt really focus much on Logan and she realised they didnt look at something crucial so she just took over one day and it made him get a points and they end up together?? Idk if that makes sense but i hope it does

Thank youu 🫶

I had this in my inbox for ages and didn't know how to write it; then I decide I'll write it, Williams kicks Logan out. So, now finally, I've recovered, here's the fic.

I made a few changes to the request if you don't mind🫣

Engineering Love

Alex Albon, driver for Williams Racing had a younger sister; everyone knew about. She was attached to Alex like his shadow. She was a golden retriever in human form. She would always make it to all of his races and was his biggest supporter except when she was away at college getting her bachelors and then masters in Automobile engineering.

In the fast paced world of Formula One, finding a job opening in a position you wanted and with the pay that you liked was a little difficult unless you had connections. Y/N had the connections, she was sure her brother would help her land a nice starting gig in Formula One but she was adamant on doing everything herself. She was fierce and strong and fought people when she was only 21 and Alex had lost his seat at Red Bull. So, Alex knew better than to mess with her.

Y/N was the same age as Alex's team mate, Logan Sargeant who had made his Formula One debut this season. Alex saw Logan as his younger brother the same way he would treat his sister. His sister had taken a liking to Logan and he could see that. He saw how annoyed she got when some one was rude to Logan or people talked badly about him after a crash or particularly bad race. She was currently Logan's defender more than Alex's. He didn't mind it since Logan was a nice guy and would probably bend over backwards for his sister.

After a particularly bad race and every one was bashing Logan, she had a fight with James Vowels on why he wouldn't defend his driver and why did he have to bare the brunt of Williams short comings. She wasn't willing to listen to anyone until she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Y/N, it's ok. Stuff happens" Logan said. "No" she replied and turned back to Vowels but before she could say anything, Logan sweeped her off her feet and carried her away. Y/N's heart was beating really fast while Logan carried her bridal style away from the chaos she had created. She looked at Logan and studied his features for the hundredth time since she had met him. There was a slight stubble on his face, his blond hair shined under the building's yellow light, blue eyes looked like a deep ocean she didn't mind drowning in. Logan looked down but she quickly looked away, "Can you put me down now?" she whispered. Logan put her on her feet. "Why'd you stop me?" she asked while fixing her clothes. "Can you stop it?" Logan said slightly annoyed. "What" she asked. "Stop interfering in my business. I'll handle it" he said sternly. "I just wanted to help plus they weren't being very nice" she said while biting her lower lip. "Y/N, this is my team. I'll deal with it. Stop trying to be some saviour" he said now running a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to help" she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. "Well, you didn't do anything but make stuff more difficult for me" he snapped and walked away.

Y/N headed back to her hotel room, where she couldn't stop crying until she heard a knock on the door. "Y/N, I got us pho" Alex said in a sing-songy tone. "I don't want it" she hiccuped out a reply. "I'm not leaving until you open the door or I'm calling mum" he said sternly. She shuffled towards the door and let Alex in. He placed the food on the table and sat with his sister on the bed; "What's up?" he asked. She just shook her head as tears started to fall. "hey, hey" Alex cooed while wiping away her tears and giving her a hug. "The Y/N I know made others cry. It feels weird to see you cry" he stated patting her back. She hit Alex's back while he continued to hug her. "Logan got angry, I mean annoyed at me for taking his side and fighting James." she cried. "Don't take what he says to heart, he's just stressed." Alex reasoned. "I know but I've never felt this way about anyone and when he got annoyed with me, it hurt" she mumbled. "Does little old Y/N have a crush?" Alex teased. "Yeah" she said now pulling away to look at her brother. "I think I love him Alex and that's what's freaking me out" she finally admitted. Alex just smiled at her.

He had had a similar conversation with his team mate a few days back, albeit with a few less tears. "Your heart eyes are so obvious" Alex chuckled while he saw his teammate stare at his sister. "What? No" he stammered. "It's ok. I know my sister's sweetheart. But I still don't get what you see in that devil reincarnated." he said while a shudder ran down his spine. "No, no.....I....was I that obvious?" Logan asked. "Kind of, I think even Gunther knows that you like her at this point" Alex stated solemnly. "What?" Logan asked shocked. "Mate you need more words in your vocabulary if you want to woo that woman, she loves all these fictional men, who talk eloquently" Alex laughed. "Really" Logan asked. "Dear God, the both of you are hopeless" Alex said as he walked away.

It was during the United States GP, Y/N was watching Logan race; he was doing so well, 3 of the 20 drivers had retired, if he over took a few more drivers he would finish in points. Logan was starting to lose focus and got flustered; Y/N saw that. She took the microphone in her hand started talking to Logan just to keep him going. Even though he finished in P12 after the stewards disqualified Lewis and Charles; Logan was the first American in 30 years to finish in points. He was over the moon; he wanted to see Y/N, the only person he wanted to see right now.

After everything, Y/N was sat in the Williams hospitality. Logan almost ran towards her and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry for the other day and thank you for calming me down" he whispered into her ear. "It's ok, Congratulations Logan" she said. "No it's not ok, I should not be able to treat you so poorly, no one should" he stated. "You were annoyed, you didn't mean it" she reasoned. "I was annoyed that the woman I loved only saw me in all my downs and that I couldn't share my ups with her. Now that I've scored my first point in F1, I wanna keep going up and share all my ups with you." he rambled. Y/N's eyes were wide, "You like me?" she asked. "Uhh" Logan's mouth was open. "I like you too" she smiled widely. Logan breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. She nodded. Logan leaned in as his nose brushed against her cheek, he pressed his lips on her while she wrapped her arms around her neck; "I'm gonna make you a race winner one day" she mumbled in between the kiss. "Can't wait to win races with you as my engineer" he laughed now kissing her again

[kodydrs]

don’t stay at my house - j. kirstein

a/n : i need him in a way that’s terrible for feminism. I’ve been in love with this man since day freaking 1 and i think if i search hard enough there’ll be fanfics i wrote abt him when i was 15 (they will not be getting posted). but anywhos. why not send in a request, or ask?!

warnings: jean x fem!reader, jean x marco!sister!reader, fxm, smut (mdni), friends with benefits, brothers best friend type fwb, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), titplay (not really), mostly fully clothed, not proofread (it’s never proofread), I’m bad at tagging still

ib: this one fanart i saw on pinterest

request: yes / no

rule number 1: no feelings. it’s called off straight away if either of us catch feelings

rule number 2 : don’t tell anyone

rule number 3 : all things must be discussed previously before trying

rule number 4 : consent is key

rule number 5 : MARCO CANNOT FIND OUT

It’d been a boring day. You had no classes, and you’d done as much study as your brain would let you. You probably could’ve invited Sasha or Mikasa over, but they both had partners to hang out with, as well as other stuff.

You were single. There was no real reason why. There were boys & girls that’d happily go out with you if you gave them the chance, but dating just didn’t appeal to you that much. Not when there were so many strings attached. But that doesn’t mean you were a slut. You didn’t jump from person to person’s bed or anything. You were happy with your situation.

‘Hey.’

‘Oh. I didn’t realise you were over.’

Jean stood at your door, arms folded and leaning against the frame. He chuckled lightly, walking into your room and sitting on the edge of your bed.

‘I’ve been here almost all day. Marco just went into town to grab stuff so the house is empty. How are you feeling?’

‘I’m fine, thank you. How about you? I haven’t seen you in over a week.’

‘I’ve been great.’ He says, pushing his hair back. ‘But I was kinda wondering if… um… I wanted to see your smile.’

He grinned widely, and the flicker from your eyes to your lips didn’t go unnoticed. You leaned forwards, closing the gap between you slightly.

‘You’re allowed to kiss me, Kirstein.’ You whispered, smiling at his unsubtlety. His grin growing, he brought his hand to your cheek, caressing it lightly before brushing his lips against yours in a sweet, gentle kiss.

‘I love your smile. You know that?’ He pulled back slightly, his hand moving down to gently squeeze your thigh beneath your blanket.

‘I know.’ You reply, moving your hand to hold his jaw before smoothing along the bone. His eyes closed, melting into the soft touch of your fingers on his skin.

He leaned in again, and this time their kiss deepened, his other hand moving up to grip your waist, pulling your bodies closer.

‘Jean…’ You breathed, bringing your hands to his chest. Their placement made me groan softly, heart racing.

‘Yeah?’

‘We can’t right now. Marco could get home any minute.’ You pulled back, pressing your foreheads together to maintain proximity. He muttered a quiet ‘damn it’, aware that you were right. He sighed and took a deep breath, trying to calm his body down.

‘I know this isn’t the best place or time, but I can’t stop thinking about you.’

You could only give a sympathetic smile to his words. You took his hand and rubbed your thumb along his palm.

‘You’ll have to stop it then. You remember the rules. No feelings.’

‘Yeah. Yeah. Got it. “no feelings involved”.’ He said, holding your hand. ‘But you don’t know how hard that is when it's you I could be with. Like, I keep catching myself thinking about things we could do together. It drives me nuts.’

You listened to him, but the inside of your mouth was being abused by your teeth, distracted by his words.

He leaned in to kiss you once again, but this time, your hand came between your mouths, pushing his face away.

‘Look. Jean. I do really like you, ok. But Marco and… if he found out, then that’s the end of it. You won’t be invited over anymore.’

There was a look of hurt in his eyes when you met them. His hands wrapped carefully around your wrist, pulling your hand away.

‘Please say you aren’t pushing me away right now.’ You couldn’t keep looking at his eyes, so they diverted to your wall, holding your breath like you were about to cry.

After a few moments, Jean’s grip on your wrist loosened and you felt the bed adjust as he stood.

‘Yeah. You’re right. We can’t do this.’ You wanted to look at him. You wanted to pour your heart out to him and get him to stay, but the thought of his friendship with your brother being destroyed seemed to keep you quiet.

‘You… You should probably go back to Marco’s room. Pretend the house is actually empty.’

‘Yeah. I should.’ He hesitated for a moment, but he gave you a small smile before he left, closing the door gently. As soon as his footsteps faded, you burst into tears, clutching your shirt to cover your mouth.

Jean left your room hurriedly, face flushed and heart racing from the feelings he’d just tried to suppress.

‘Shit.’ He sat down on the stairs, putting his face in his hands as he took deep breaths. ‘Fucking shit.’

It’d been a few months since the “incident” if you’d even call it an incident at all. You hadn’t seen each other since, and you had no clue if it was because he hadn’t come over, or because you barely left your room. But it didn’t matter to you at all. You had exams to focus on.

‘Hey Marco. Do you have any spare batte-‘ You opened your brothers door, only stopping when you saw he had company. ‘-ries.’

Jean looked up from where he lay on Marco’s bed, face flushed and burying his head down as if it’d hide the fact you’d already seen him. Marco went unphased, opening his drawer to rummage through.

‘What type do you need?’

‘Do you have like, 2 9v ones? Preferably lithium but not too phased.’

He found the first one pretty quickly, but it felt like a mission finding another one. After about 3 minutes, you both gave up and closed the drawer.

‘I’ll pick some up later when I go into town. Do you need anything else?’

‘No. I should be right. Take him with you when you leave.’ You nodded towards Jean. Jean who still had his face hidden. Marco gave you a look, but you just closed the door. You froze outside for a minute, letting out a deep sigh before you went back to your room.

You’d told Marco about what happened. Told him everything from the first hook up to the “break up”. He was a little weirded out at first, but he didn’t seem to care otherwise.

A few hours had passed when you heard the rustle of shoes before a soft knock on your door, followed by your brother's head poking in.

‘I’m going now. Don’t die while I’m gone.’

‘Take Jean with you.’ Marco opened the door fully, folding his arms across his chest.

‘You haven’t been phased by being alone in the house for the past month, so why now that you know he’s here?’

‘Because I know he’s here.’ You emphasised each word, trying to prove your point. ‘It’s like when there’s a serial killer in your house. You aren’t phased until you know they’re there.’

‘That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?’ A deadpan reaction was the only reaction he was getting out of you. ‘Whatever. Just don’t burn the house down.’

‘Thank you.’

Like any brother, he didn’t close your door properly, but you heard the front door close, followed by his car leaving and that was enough reassurance that you were alone in an empty house.

You only worked for another 30 minutes before dehydration set in. Usually you had your drink bottle on your desk or in your bag, but today seemed to be an exception because you couldn’t find it at all. So you stood, pushing your chair back and walked to the kitchen.

Like you wanted, the house was empty and quiet. It was always like that considering it was only you and Marco that lived there.

The house was big enough to fit more people, but living alone just out of the city meant it was mostly silent, mind the few cars that drove past into work or to one of the neighbouring houses. But it also meant that if you needed to, you could catch a bus to your classes.

You were reaching for a glass when you heard footsteps on the lino. It made you flinch, nearly dropping the glass when you saw Jean trying to escape quietly.

‘Why are you still here?!’

He froze, stepping back like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t meant to. Not that he wasn’t meant to be in your house. Just not at that exact moment.

‘Look. I didn’t even know you were here until you came into Marco’s room. I thought you had classes today.’

‘Is that your excuse?’ You asked. Your tone showed how pissed off you were if your expression didn’t. You left the glass on the counter, suddenly well hydrated before storming out of the kitchen.

‘Wait. Please.’ You felt hands grab around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. ‘Just… let me talk. Please.’

You maintained your frown, making it obvious you didn’t wanna hear what he had to say, but you were more respectful than that, so you stopped pulling against him.

He released a sigh and let go of your wrist.

‘Alright. Can I start off by saying I’m sorry? I should’ve checked you weren’t here before I came. That part is fair for you to be mad about.’ You stood, arms folded and leaning against the counter as the brunette continued. ‘And I want to apologise for how things turned out back then. I still really fucked up, and I’m not denying that any of it was wrong, because I pushed you and I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve any of that.’ You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, an action you noted hasn’t changed in your time apart. But you couldn’t meet his eyes, so they looked down at the floor, the same way you looked away when you last spoke. He sighed again, moving closer to you so his hand gently brushed against your arms.

‘Look. I know I’m not the best, and you probably have plenty of other options that you could go to, but… I still really like you. A lot. And I’ve done everything I can to try move on-‘

‘Jean.’ You interrupted sternly. It’s not like how you used to say it. You used to breath his name with so much love that it drove you both crazy. There was no love in the way you said it now. ‘Stop.’

‘Stop what? Talking to you? Even if I did, I wouldn’t stop thinking about you.’

‘Just stop it!’ There was anger boiling in your voice, but he seemed so clouded that he couldn’t see it.

‘Why? Why do you hate me so?’

‘Because if I don’t hate you, then I’m going to fall in love with you again!’ Tears brimmed your eyes as you finally confessed.

Jean’s heart skipped a beat. He moved closer, placing a hand on your chin and gently raising it until your eyes met.

‘That can’t happen.’ He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

‘Don’t you dare say that. Because I’ve been trying not to for months.’ You’re looking up at him, leaning against his hand. Reaching down, he cupped your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek.

‘I’ll fight it with everything I have in me but…’ He trailed off, leaning in so his lips barely brushed against yours.

‘But..?’

‘But I can’t promise I’ll win.’

He kissed you slowly, his hands sliding off your face and down your back, pulling you closer. The kiss only deepened as emotions ran high between the 2 of you.

You kissed him like a starved man, quick to get your hands beneath his shirt to feel the dip

Jean moaned against your lips, hands following suit as they slid along your thighs, gripping your hips tightly.

‘God. I’ve wanted this everyday since I last saw you.’ He whispered before pulling away slightly, looking into your eyes. You were quick to pull him back in, whispering against his lips.

‘Then don’t stop.’

He was hesitant for a moment before leaning down to once again taste your lips. He grabbed you around the waist, wrapping his arms around you as your legs wrapped around him.

‘I love you.’

You paused for a minute, almost like you were scared of the words, before you pulled away and kissed his jaw up to his ear.

‘Show me then.’

With a smile, Jean hoisted you atop the counter, positioning himself between your legs while he attacked your neck. A soft whimper came from your mouth, and your fingers tangled with the hair at his nape.

‘You like that?’ He nipped at your neck again, hips grinding languidly against yours. You grinded against him, making you both breath deep as his hands pressed you against the counter. ‘You haven’t changed.’

You grinned, pulling his chin up to look at you.

‘Will you fuck me on the kitchen counter?’

‘You’re a hot mess, aren’t you?’ He chuckled, his judgement clouded by lust and desire. You shurgged.

‘It wouldn’t be the first time.’

‘You’re so slutty.’ He teased and pecked your lips, but still started to undo his belt. Your grin widened, and you took his free hand, trailing it up your torso to massage your tit through the fabric of your shirt.

His breath hitched, and his fingers searched for your hardened nipple as he pulled his erection free of its restrictions. Seeing his throbbing cock, you slid your shorts and underwear to your ankles, revealing yourself to the man.

‘Fuck. You’re gorgeous.’ He stepped closer, swiping his tip through your wet folds and groaning as he sank into you.

Head thrown back, you gripped his hand that was on your breast, while your other held his nape, keeping you upright.

‘Holy shit-‘

‘That’s right, baby. Just like that. Take it all.’ He started with moving slowly, dragging himself along your walls with a string of soft grunts. But as he felt you relax around him, he picked up speed, skin slapping together in rhythm.

Damn did you miss this. Both of you missed it. Missed the way he’d tease you by changing pace, but just not enough teasing to annoy you. Missed the way you had to keep a hand over your mouth so the neighbours couldn’t hear you being fucked by your brothers best friend.

Jean leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his thrusts growing deeper and more intense as he felt you clench around him tightly.

‘Jean.’ You whimpered, interlacing your fingers.

‘I know, baby.’ He bit your bottom lip, feeling the pleasure coursing through you both. He could tell by the way your body was reacting that you were close, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t either, noticeable by his movements becoming more desperate.

You did your best to grind your hips to his timing, making you both groan. Eyes rolled at the overwhelming sensation, unable to hold back any longer.

‘Fuck. I’m gonna cum.’

‘You can cum inside.’ You panted, pulling his lips back to yours. With a few final thrusts, he groaned as he released his seed deep inside you, feeling your wall clench around him in the most perfect way. You came hard at the same time, trembling against him as the aftermath washed over you both.

‘Fuck, baby…’ Leaning heavily forwards and stabilising himself on the counter, he pressed gentle kisses along your neck and collarbone. Your hand on the back of his neck found its way to his hair, running your fingers through the strands.

‘T-That was good.’

He sighed, an unmatched sense of comfort in your presence. Arm wrapped around you, he pulled back to look in your eyes.

‘God. I want you.’ His face was flushed, like he was embarrassed to admit it. You smiled, brushing his hair out of his face.

‘Then you can have me.’ His heart races at your words. searching your eyes like they would tell him how serious you were being. You just grin, pulling him back down for another kiss. Another kiss, just as the front door opens.

‘Shit.’

© kodydrs

all rights and reserves are copyright to kodydrs on tumblr. this material is not to be copied or translated.

[mchlgayser]

can you write one about bellingham where they’re married and they are arguing all the time so they’re thinking about divorcing but one day he saw her crying in their bedroom and he conforts her and realises how much he loves her

𓂃⭑ᜊ: REALIZATION ft jude bellingham

𓂃⭑ᜊ an: HELLO! Ok this is a GREAT idea! Icl I love it, I might do this all out I swear.

𓂃⭑ᜊ content warning: arguments, divorce, and breakdown

𓂃⭑ᜊ: @iwritesjud3's masterlist

'I can't fucking do this anymore!' He burst, and you sat there numb and in distress, you sit on the couch hands over your head as you sigh heavily 'Should we just... Separate, Jude?' You didn't meant it, you really don't it just kind of slipped out.

But maybe, maybe you meant it.

'..Yeah. I think that's for the best, it's just not working out like this.' He shakes his head, sitting down next to you 'Right.' You declared standing up and stare down at him 'I'm taking the guest room, you can sleep at the room.' Leaving him, you tread upstairs as fast as you can and lock the door.

When? When did it get to this? Did it just happen? You thought to yourself, eyes burning with hot tears cascading down your cheeks. Tired is what you are feeling.

'Can you stop being jealous all the time?!'

'Oh well, I'm sorry for being so jealous over a girl wrapping an arm around you!'

'We talked about this, come on! Do I have to bring it up all the fucking time?!'

'I am not your fucking maid, Y/n. Take out the trash yourself.'

'How many times do I have to tell you not to touch my things! You are so stubborn!'

'Where are you? I called you the millionth of times, I'm worried!'

'Mind your business'

'Oh my God! You are a drunk mess!'

'Fucking let go, Jude!~'

'It's four, why did you even bothered coming home?'

'Because I paid for it, go and stop bothering me Y/n!'

When you think thoroughly about it now, it hurts so bad your heart aching and hammers so loud. You cry the whole night with your body still attached on the door.

The next day you woke up, and you didn't see any signs of Jude 'He's probably at practice.' You murmured going around the yard to take a breather. This yard is one of your favorite parts of the house. It was green with grass, yellow with daisies, and red with roses. The koi fish pond and a small bridge over the pond. The swing. Every part of this yard are your favorite. Sad to think you'll have to leave the house so soon.

Well technically this house is both yours and Jude's after you got married but to think that you have to live with thousands of bad memories in this house, you feel hopeless just thinking about it. If you wanted to divorce and leave, then you need to start fresh.

You stay hours in the yard doing nothing but admiring it. One memory after another came gushing back to you

'Stop Jude, it tickles'

Spending hours in the yard, you both did nothing but talks with each other, joking around, getting to know each other even better.

'You're cheating, you are not supposed to look!'

Hiding the canvas on his chest, you both spent time painting what reminds you both of each other, filming. He drew a beautiful home, exclaiming that you always remind him of the 'home is a person' thing. Meanwhile, you drew a flutter of butterflies.

The reason is that every small thing about him caused your stomach to rabble butterflies.

'Oh my God! The sausages burnt!'

It was a funny memory indeed, you both got so lost in your world, admiring each other's details you forgot the sausages you grilled on the pan.

'I love...'

Sunset picnic you both religiously do every month, pinning what you both like most from the snacks, fruits and drinks.

Now that you think about it, when is the last time you both did it, two months ago? Perhaps four months ago. It just sort of disappeared into thin air.

Your eyes welled up with tears again, these memories constantly bring you down making it harder for you to leave. Can you do it? Abandoning everything about him?

You walk upstairs to your shared bedroom sit on the bed and look around, your stuff, facials, and makeup are still neatly placed on the table. The mattress created a faint smell of Jude's fresh minty cologne. The one you bought him for your first wedding anniversary. The curtains slightly open allowing the sun to peep in inside the dimmed light room.

Eyes boring around some more, your eyes fidgeted on the nightstand table's drawer, it was open subtle and you got up to open it to see what was inside. The contain managed to slip a small gasp out of your mouth, tears welling up again. It was a photo album of you and Jude since you were both friends.

You take out the album and open it to the first page. It was a photo of you and him taking selfies with ice cream and beside the picture, you wrote 'We got each other's fav ice cream!'

You skipped a few pages, and the next page you open was you and him cutting a cake on your wedding day, you are smiling down, and Jude gazing at you with wide stupid grin on his mouth.

Another picture on the bottom is you feeding him a small piece of cake, and throwing your head back, laughing while he boop icing on your nose.

Smiling at how lovey-dovey you two were before, without noticing a single stray of tear fall down your cheekbone. Skipping pages through pages, reminiscing the old good memories.

You held the album close to your chest, crying and wailing alone. Your tears freely escaped your sockets, you don't want to leave, never would you but you know, this is going nowhere. The marriage is something both you and Jude can't worked out together. Maybe this is the best. For him and his career.

Jude on the other hand just gotten home from training, he dropped his duffle bag and slumped on the living room couch, and close his eyes for a short sleep.

The gushing wind interrupted, he eyed up to the yard realizing that the balcony door is opened, the curtains pushed up and down because of the wind, he groan getting up to close the door.

He gazes the yard for a moment, now thinking of you. He tread ways upstairs to your shared bedroom. The door is open lightly and he peek in to see you on the bed, crying.

Your eyes are red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears. He slowly opens the door peeking his head in 'Y/n?' You jolted at the familiar voice, you hid the album away but it was too late.

Jude came and confronts you, he sat down beside you as the mattress dip 'What?' You stuttered out, eyes avoiding his gaze 'I just... Wanted to check up on you.'

You sighed 'We are separating soon Jude, no need to check up on me anymore, I'm fine.' He felt bad, really bad.

He thought to himself, how did this happen? Do you two just end up disliking each other and get spiteful every chance you get?

'I don't want to lose you, Y/n.' You gasp, eyes watering with salty tears 'No Jude, please don't say that. We both know that this is not working out anymore.' Out of instinct, he held your hand 'No! What we both said last night is purely angry talks, I said things I didn't mean and that's the same way for you! Please, I still love you, don't you love me?' You were hesitant 'I... Do but..'

'Then, that's enough for now, we'll try our best to go through this obstacle, we'll fight for each other just like we used to, alright?' You hum and nods at him

He takes you in his arms 'Thank God! I don't ever wanted to lose you.'

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @dreatine - thanks so much!! ♡

Eleven Minutes

7:20…

Spencer’s phone dings, snapping his vision away from scrutinising his reflection in the mirror.

“Ok, Im now leaving, see you there!”

A text. That’s how it all started, a single text from you. He remembers it like it was yesterday, but he remembers every single one of the 14 days since, even clearer. After 7 months of no communication, you appeared on his phone.

“Just saw the cutest dog in existence”

Of course he hadnt deleted your number, and your text proved you hadnt deleted his either, or maybe you had, but you’d memorised it. He’d replied with a single perplexed question mark, and you sent him another text in seconds.

“Seriously, look, you wont believe it”

With that one, you attached a picture of the dog you’d seen, and he realised what you were doing. Breaking the ice in the least awkward way possible. And you succeeded. Everyday since, you and Spencer have been exchanging casual texts, picking up right where you left off but in a way he’d never expected.

7:22…

He checks his reflection one more time in the mirror, fixing his hair and your favourite tie of his, before texting you a reply.

“Im on my way!”

It was like you’d never broken up. Spencer coped with not having an explanation for 7 days, then he couldnt take it. The curiosity was eating at him until he finally caved and called you.

7:24…

Spencer remembered the way his heart leapt, hearing your voice for the first time in so long. It brings a smile to his face as he locks his front door and begins walking down the street.

“Spence…it’s 2am, what in the world couldnt wait just a few more hours?” He could tell he’d woken you from a deep sleep, and he felt terrible, but he couldnt put this off any longer.

“This cant wait. Please.”

You cleared your throat, sensing the seriousness of his reasoning without even knowing what it was. “Okay, okay, what’s up?”

The question fell from his lips in a hurried jumble. “Why did you start talking to me again?”

Silence.

7:24…

The streetlights guide him, and he cant help seeing the coincidence within them. Spencer only ever notices how bright the world he is when you’re around.

That night, he took a breath, about to speak, but you finally answered.

“I missed you.”

And that was all he needed. He didnt question any further, and the two of you talked on the phone until the sun came up. He knew enough, and you could always read him like a book; he knew that you knew without even asking, your feelings were reciprocated, always.

7:26…

It was light night that Spencer suggested the two of you meet up for the first time in what felt like an eternity, and it was you who asked if it would be a date. That, he said, was up to you. Well then, I guess it’s a date, he recalls you chirping, his mind replaying your excitement, causing him to light up. Spencer looks down at the ground as he walks, to hide his expression in case anyone saw him walking alone and wondered why he was smiling so widely to himself.

7:28…

Round the corner is the bar you suggested meeting at, because it’s so close to where Spencer lives, so it’s one the two of you used to visit regularly. Like old times, he thinks blissfully. You arranged to meet at half past 7, and he’s close by, he doesnt want to arrive early or before you, he doesnt want to seem overly eager, so he stops.

7:30…

Leaning against the brick wall of the building behind the bar, Spencer lets his head roll back to look up at the night sky. He’s mere seconds away from being where you want him to be, where he’ll finally get to see you again. He wonders how this will work, is he supposed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek, or a hug? And at the end of the date, what happens in this scenario? Is kissing you too forward? Too soon? Spencer knows you better than anyone, but in this situation, when the two of you havent been in each other’s presence for so long, he doesnt know how much of you still responds to him in the same way. He doesnt want his excitement to be replaced by nervousness, he shakes his head and tries to focus on the positives. Like seeing your smile, hearing your voice and your laugh in person, looking into your eyes, making you blush, performing his cheesiest pickup lines so that you dramatically swoon before the two of you collapse into fits of laughter.

Scenes play out in Spencer’s head, making him dizzy in the best way, opening the door of the butterfly cage in his stomach. It’s time. His hands begin to shake lightly at his sides as he takes a deep breath and steps away from the wall, turning in the direction of the bar. But Spencer only manages to take a single step before the sound of a gunshot pierces the air, and his blood runs cold.

…7:21

Your eyes flick down from the street in front of you every few seconds as you await his reply. He might cancel, right now, he could get cold feet or realise this is a bad idea, he could-

A gentle smile overtakes your features as you read the text from Spencer. He’s going to be there, you’re really going to see each other again. Your cheeks flush pink at the thought of him just smiling at you, you feel like a high school girl with a crush, not an adult woman going on a date with her ex. That phrasing is so bitter, you shake your head, this is a good thing! It’s going to work itself out. You two will be fine, like you always are.

…7:23

Tucking your phone into your bag and zipping it shut, you nod to yourself as a mantra of positive thoughts towards this situation flood your mind, reassuring you that this is the right thing to you.

Last night you booked a hotel room down the street so that you could walk to the bar rather than have to rely on public transport. You want to arrive on time, early even, so that you dont miss a minute of tonight.

…7:25

You clutch the strap of your bag with one hand, your other hand flattening your dress against the gentle breeze. The material of the dress is soft, it’s technically a summer dress, not entirely weather appropriate for a colder-than-average night, but it doesnt matter. Spencer’s eyes used to fall out of his skull whenever he saw you in this dress. On the summer nights when he was working late and you’d show up at his desk, gifting him with food you’d prepared for him yourself. You’d keep him company until he was done with his work, keeping the smile on his face that he couldnt find the words to thank you for. Lost in thought, you tuck your hair behind your ears shyly, as though he’s smiling at you and calling you beautiful now, rather than in a memory.

…7:27

Another cool wind caresses you, and you’re quick to wrap your leather jacket further around yourself. A summer dress and a leather jacket, the best combination to reassure Spencer that you’re still the same badass who’s very obviously wholesome too. Exactly what you’re hoping he misses, even if he didnt verbally confirm that on the night you told him you missed him. Doubting is pointless and will only make you insecure, you remind yourself, Spencer suggested to meet, he replied to all your texts, he called you at 2am because you were on his mind. Everything is going to be fine, this is right.

…7:29

The warm glow from the lights beyond the bar windows greet you as you reach the building, and you lean against the wall. Looking over your shoulder, you peak in the windows, knowing Spencer wont be there since you arranged to meet outside, but wanting to check regardless. Just in case. You take your phone out of your bag to check the time. He only lives down the street, he’ll be here any second. You turn to face the direction you know he’ll be walking from, along the same street the two of you laughed down countless times, tipsy and serenading each other with whatever song you’d favoured on the bar playlist that night. Tucking your phone back in your bag, you let yourself relax. This will bring the two of you back together, where you belong.

“Hey there pretty girl, what’re you doing all by yourself?”

You roll your eyes at the voice behind you.

“Try to flirt with me again and I’ll rip your midget dick off.” You say without bothering to turn around, still waiting for Spencer to round the corner.

The voice behind you laughs. “I dont think it’s you that should be making threats here, sweetheart.”

The click of a gun takes you out of your badass state of mind. You slowly turn around, clutching the strap of your bag, annoyed at yourself for putting your phone away. Back when you and Spencer were together, he helped teach you how to call him with your phone behind your back. But that’s useless now.

“What do you want?” You ask, your voice less sharp, more negotiable.

The man tilts his gun towards your hip. “Your bag, it looks pretty expensive, and I need a ticket out of here, fast.”

You shake your head and take a step back. “No, I cant. There’s nothing of value in there, just sentimental stuff. Please, go, I wont tell anyone I saw-“

He cuts you off. “BULLSHIT! Give me your fucking bag!”

You nod and hold your hands up. “Okay, okay, calm down, let’s do this slowly. Im going to pass you my bag, but please lower your gun so you dont accidentally shoot me.”

He scoffs, but lowers his gun as you hold your bag out to him.

…7:31

He reaches for your bag, the moment seeming to pass in slow motion, until you take your chance. You yank your bag back to your side and make a run for it, knowing Spencer cant be far, he’ll protect you. A gunshot sounds before you make it round the corner, and before you have time to process it, you’re lying on the sidewalk.

Spencer runs down the street, reaching you in a few steps. He sees the man running down the street, the way your hands are still clinging to your bag as you lie on your side, and he puts the pieces together in less than a second. Crouching at your side, he gently takes ahold of your face with shaking hands. He’s always been so careful with you, but now so more than ever. Your eyes are closed, but you smile in recognition.

“(Y/N), stay with me, please!” Spencer pleads desperately, tears already cascading down his face at a rapid rate.

His hands make quick work of taking both of yours in one of his, which he then presses to the bullet wound in your side, while his other hand reaches for his phone and holds it to his ear. His report to emergency services is brief but informative, done in less than 20 seconds, before his full attention is back on you.

“I-I cant lose you again, not like this! Please, dont go!” Spencer sobs, using his now free hand to carefully move your hair out of your face.

“There’s something for you…in my bag.” Your voice is so quiet, so weak, as the pool of blood grows beneath you.

Spencer’s free hand digs through your bag, ignoring the feeling of things he expects to be there, like your house keys, until he finds a small piece of paper that’s folded in half.

“Open it.” You whisper, opening your eyes as much as you can, an exhausted squint watching him as he unfolds the paper.

Just in case I didnt have the balls to tell you tonight-

Spencer shakes his head. “I dont need to read this, you can tell me once we’re at the hospital, after a nap, okay?” His voice is as soft as yours, weak in an entirely different sense.

You smile up at him. “Even if that’s what happens next…I want you to read it. Didnt think I’d get to see your reaction to it, so I’ll take this chance. Please read it.”

Spencer sniffles and nods, reflecting your smile. “For you? Anything.”

He unfolds the paper again.

Just in case I didnt have the balls to tell you tonight, I still love you, Spence. I always have, and always will.

Spencer’s chin wobbles as fresh tears with an entirely different meaning fill his eyes. He doesnt waste another opportunity to verbally reciprocate feelings, and he clears his throat.

“I love you too, (Y/N). Always have, always will.” His voice is hoarse and shaky.

You grin up at him with everything you have, moving one of your hands away from your wound, Spencer having to loosen his hold on your hands in order to let you go. You lift your bloody hand to his cheek and he holds it there, nuzzling into your palm, neither of you caring about getting your blood on his face.

“Nice tie.”

Spencer parts his lips to reply, to tell you that you look beautiful in the dress he’d noticed you wearing as soon as he saw you, but your eyes flutter closed. He hadnt noticed just how big the pool of blood had gotten, it’s soaked through the knees of his suit trousers. His shaking hand goes to your neck, his fingers checking your pulse, desperate to detect any sign of life. But he doesnt feel anything. Except he does, he feels every aspect of his very being shatter, leaving him a shaking, sobbing mess. The gentle smile stays on your face, blue lights from the ambulance casting a glow on your beautiful face that makes you look even less alive. But Spencer doesnt hear the sirens, not over his own agonising screams. You are gone. If he had just walked around that corner, if he hadnt been so caught up in making a good impression on someone he already knew, he could have saved you. Or he could have taken your place. He’s without you, again, but this time in the worst way possible.

[another-day]

hey guys, its been a while since i’ve done one of these, but i’m bringing it back - episodes in review!!! (that’s its name now)

featuring spoilers for iii episode 17!! make sure you watch that before you check this out

i feel like this episode was all over the place in the best way possible

for those unaware, i’m actually in the northern hemisphere for once which is why this is so late, i simply haven’t the time to watch it!!

to begin, why is he here

i love the asset yes, but cheesy is the last person i expected to see, is this balloon projecting the people he wanted to be friends with at the hotel??? i dunno, but this was such a silly scene

now, i had to rewind this bit at least five times to process what i saw

so remember what i said about balloon projecting? scratch that, i forgot this was a thing

first the fact that when he thought of fighting a shark the FIRST scenario that came to mind was him saving candle, that and the fact that he imagined her calling him “my spoon in silver armour” was so silly this fellow has read nothing but fairytales ever ok

also he was literally blushing do i have to say anything about that here? no, because this is tumblr and everyone understands everything

“awwwh but vee he turned go” shhhh sh i’m gonna get to that but can we just revel in this

…

okay lets move on now

why are they here

i’ve been on a bfdi binge lately so i was actually very happy seeing coiny also the line about balloon only making friends with coins was so funny to me and i’m keeping that forever

as for paper he was so silly in this and for what, i love the guy

okay back to serious stuff

can i just say, the first thing i thought when i saw this scene was “that’s something cobs would say”

like,,, i was kind of terrified this entire episode because mephone’s desperation to chase his aspiration reminded me of just cobs’ whole demeanour. i know its a little silly of me, but this idea that ‘revolutionary technology’ should solve it all is just a liiiittle too similar to the way i feel meeple functions

but maybe thats just me i dunno

do i really need to say anything

little mans has attachment issues, i don’t think he actually likes the contests and all that as much as he actually likes the contestants, and i don’t think he realises he can just be friends with them

i feel so bad because he’s been brainwashed by the people around him that he thinks that the only thing giving him purpose is this show, its tragic

okay so back to the silly, this caught me so off guard because i adored enanimat ensanitay and yellowangiru’s ii song parody videos when i was younger, so seeing this gave me such bad whiplash i had to pause and think a second

it was such a random callback (if it is at all) and i absolutely loved it

oh back to the sad again wow!!

i think mephone’s realising his fault in managing the show, getting too ahead of himself when presented the promise of longer air times, but the issue is that he thinks that this shows he isn’t fit to run the show at all

i think this belief that “one mistake means your conpletely incapable” may have stemmed from meeple in some form or another, especially considering all the flashbacks and all

this brings me so much emotion

look at how far they’ve come, like genuinely. from worst enemies to one of the closest friendships in season 3

they can communicate, they can be vulnerable with one another, and they’ve improved one another substantially

i often tell people that i’m not the biggest fan of iii3 because they almost completely changed nickel’s personality, and i still relatively stand by that, but seeing this version of nickel who is capable of change and development just warms my heart (even if it feels wrong)

this was so so sweet, and i was smiling every second of the elimination (i would say a first but box’s elimination existed too)

aaaaanyway that’s all from me, thank you for listening to my rambles about this gem of an episode, and i wish you all well till the next!!!

[madaboutmunson]

Cryptic Cupid - Part 2 - Steve's POV

Part 1 | Part 3

Probably worth warning that this one is 6K, might split it up at a later date

Sequel to Raspberry Riddle So this is set in a government-operated hospital after the events of season 4 but everyone is alive.

Each part has a different POV, Robin, Steve, and Eddie.

================================================

It was good timing that Eddie had woken up when he did because Robin was away on holiday for the next two weeks with her family.

When Steve wakes up the very next morning, still groggily half asleep, he does the same thing he always does, he opens his room door and then opens Eddie's, then goes about his morning, grabbing some breakfast before heading back for his morning workout.

He puts in the new tape and is midway through his routine before he hears a different noise, it sounds like coughing, and Steve turns to look through the doorway into Eddie's room and can see him moving.

Steve rushes over, but once he gets to Eddie's bedside, he realises he's laughing, albeit weakly, and mostly hidden by the mask covering the lower half of his face, but still. Steve beams at him but feigns insult and folds his arms, "I hope you aren't laughing at me, Munson."

Eddie shakes his head and lets out a weak laugh again, slowly lifting his hand to his ear.

"The music?" Steve asks with interest.

Eddie nods ever so slightly. It must be all he can muster. Steve turns his head towards the doorway and listens. He'd had the music on for a while now, but he usually listened for a beat and ignored songs as a whole.

How did you know 'cause I never told

But you found out I've got a crush on you

The words you read, my heart's been displayed

You found out I've got a crush on you

Steve is glad he's turned away from Eddie as he ingests the lyrics the woman is singing. He feels his cheeks ignite with embarrassment, and he silently curses Robin under his breath and realises this is why she collected all the other tapes. He dreads to think about what else might be on here.

Steve takes a deep breath and turns back to look down at Eddie, and he's just about to make a protest about this not being his tape, but all that he manages is "Robin's" and a hand wave because when he turns back, he's met with the full intensity of Eddie's soft stare. The dewiness of his eyes makes his irises look like sparkling chocolate pudding.

He isn't sure how but Steve's brain kicks back into gear, "Anyway, sorry if I woke you. Want me to close your door?"

Eddie shakes his head in a no, but he taps his chest lightly and points up.

"Want me to help you sit up?" Steve tries, and Eddie nods slightly again.

Steve finds another pillow, places it ready above Eddie's head, then negotiates his arms through the many wires and tubes attached to Eddie and takes hold of him. Before he moves him, Steve says, "If it hurts, just tap me, ok?

Eddie nods, the corners of his eyes creasing, due to a hidden smile Steve hoped.

Being this close to Eddie was both a dream and a nightmare to Steve. He was finally holding him in his arms, but he felt weak against him. Steve quickly pushes the pillow behind Eddie, so he's supported and gently releases him.

"That all ok?" Steve whispers unintentionally like his brain has decided that speaking any louder might cause harm to the fragile beauty next to him.

Eddie nods, pushes the nurse button with one hand, then taps and squeezes Steve's arm lightly in thanks before waving him out of his room gently.

Steve returns to his workout in his room, and when it comes to pull-ups, despite now being flanked by a fussing medical team, Eddie gives him a little wave and smiles when they remove his mask for tests and food, as the woman on the tape sings.

Your eyes tell me how you want me

I can feel it in your heartbeat

I know you like what you see

And Steve promptly goes to showboat, as if spurred on by the lyrics, and attempts the one-armed pull-up he had seen in his book. He almost makes it, but maybe due to the sweatiness of his palms from nerves, he slips and falls to the floor.

For a second, he's absolutely mortified, but then he hears a clattering and a very scratchy voice call out his name, and it's almost music to his ears. Steve gets to his feet and looks to find a very apologetic Eddie, an upturned tray of food and a nurse covered in some of it. Eddie must feel Steve look at him because he glances, smiles a little sheepishly, and looks away under his hair.

Steve moves out of the doorway, heads into his bathroom, silently does a celebration dance and punches the air before hitting the shower and getting ready for the day.

Steve picks up his new crossword puzzle book and lies on his bed, occasionally peering through the doorway to see what is happening with Eddie. He seems to have eaten something. They washed and dressed him and changed his bedding. His wounds are starting to scar already, and Steve thinks they look worse than his own. The whole time he sees Eddie interacting with the team of people, a constant slight flush of embarrassment rests on his cheeks. Eddie was such an independent guy, and waking up to being able to do very little must be hard for him to deal with.

Once the team is done, Eddie goes back to sleep. All of that must have taken it out of him. Steve loses time in his puzzles but continues occasionally checking on Eddie. One time he was too still, and Steve went in to check the monitors against the printouts he had folded up in his pocket.

The machine name, crude drawings of the displays, and the words good and bad next to each. A quick check round and all signs point to good. Steve leaves the room folding up his paper and almost bumps straight into Wayne, smiling from ear to ear, "Afternoon, Ste. I heard it's gonna be a good 'un", and he embraces Steve tightly with uncontainable joy. 

Wayne pulls out of the hug, the vast smile still plastered on his face and eyes brimmed with happy tears, maybe some relief. "I can't believe he finally woke up, and it's because of you, sunshine boy!" He pats the side of Steve's face, "Thank you."

Steve is swamped with a lot of emotions all at once. He pushes them all down so he can escape into his room to feel them, "Well, you know, it was just a guess that paid off. It was Dr Graven, really."

Wayne tilts his head at Steve, "He said you were modest about your smarts". Steve's stomach completely flips over, and he steps out of the way to let Wayne through. Had Eddie mentioned him to Wayne before he went on the run?

Steve steps through his own door and turns back just in time to see Eddie's eyes open and his hand reach for his Uncle. Wayne almost completely collapses across Eddie in relief, tears streaming down his face as he runs his hand over Eddie's hair and face, quietly repeating, My boy.

Steve moves to the side of his room that can't be seen through the doorway. He leans against the wall for a minute or two. He wonders what it's like to be loved that way, so fully or unashamedly. He was sure his parents would have turned up if they thought he was in any real danger of dying, but at the side of his bed every day, even when it seemed hopeless, probably not.

Wayne had shown Steve more affection in the last ten minutes than his parents had in the previous year, possibly longer. Steve had tried to obtain that level of affection through friendships and romantic relationships. He felt he had that friendship bond with Robin and Dustin certainly, but there was just that little something missing, which Eddie had given him at Scoops.

Eddie built Steve up, and it still worked, even if it was a bet between Robin and Eddie. Steve hadn't felt that confident in a long time, bold enough to make a small move. 

Then that monster happened. Steve just got busy with work and life. He didn't forget about Eddie. He just thought maybe he'd missed his chance. 

Then fate gave him back to Steve but under the most trying situation of being on the run from the whole town and fighting a supernatural being. Steve had thought there wouldn't be much time for such trivial things as revealing feelings or flirting, and it seemed he had been half wrong, at least. Maybe because Eddie had nothing left to lose, he had shamelessly flirted with Steve, touches, getting in his space, lingering stares that said almost the opposite of the words leaving his perfect mouth.

Steve slides down the wall a little with a soft, quiet sigh. He'd been sure that he wouldn't get another chance. He was convinced that in that upside-down trailer park, that was the end of that.

Then the fates intervened again, and here he was in the same building, together until one of them left.

He should really do something with a chance like this. Maybe he could rekindle some of that playful flirtation at Scoops. He had tried a little earlier, and it didn't work out…or had it?

Sure, he didn't get to peacock in front of Eddie as he wanted, but he got his attention and concern. Steve looks over at his crossword book. He could do what Eddie had done for him. Build him up.

The rest of the day is a whirlwind. Everyone that has clearance to do so visits Eddie. Wayne stays for the entire time, only leaving the room to give Eddie some time with his bandmates and Hellfire, which means Steve got a flying visit from Dustin, Lucas and Mike. With them was news of the rest of the group that couldn't visit. Everyone, other than Max, seemed to be doing well. At least she was stable like Eddie had been, but Eddie hadn't had his mind broken apart as Max had. He hoped El could figure something out.

People start to peel off home, and there is a knock at Steve's open door. It's Wayne, but he looks like he's about to leave too. He looks up at the bar in Steve's doorway, "Got sumthin' for ya, champ. Eddie said you might have more use for them than he has, as he won't be performing for a while" Wayne pulls a set of black leather studded fingerless gloves out of his pocket and hands them to Steve.

Steve instinctively raises his hand to refuse a kindness he feels he doesn't deserve, but Wayne stops him before he can say anything, "Listen, the boy can't say or do much right now. Let him give you these as his thanks for now. Otherwise, you can march yourself in there an' tell him directly you rejected his gift. You can deal with that look," Wayne chuckles, "Ahm sure you know the one I'm talkin' about."

Something in the way Wayne says that hits a little differently. Steve realises he's talking about that hurt puppy dog look Eddie gives out when he doesn't get his way, but the way Wayne looks at Steve is as though he can read that he's now close enough to be powerless against it.

Steve accepts the gloves, "So you just happened to have a set of these on you?"

Wayne just smiles at him, "You'll be realisin' soon enough, if not already, that he likes to have his favourite things close by. So for things that can't travel themselves, it's better to have multiple copies on standby where you can" Wayne reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few uniform hair ties, identical guitar picks and two identical lighters. He splits the contents giving half to Steve, "Lemme give ya a head start there."

Smiling in thanks but also with a heavy helping of bashfulness, Steve realises that Wayne is more than onto him.

Wayne gives him a gentle nod, "Until tomorrow, sunshine", and he leaves, looking through the door at a sleeping Eddie one more time.

Once Wayne is out of sight, Steve checks the monitors with his folded reference papers. They were all still good. He sighs with relief and heads back to his room, closing Eddie's door softly behind him.

The next three days followed a similar pattern, except that Eddie seemed to get exponentially better daily. He can eat more food, he doesn't need the breathing assistance so much, his vitals were all improving, and superficially he was looking much more himself too. Of course, it was still hard for him to talk, but when visitors weren't around and Eddie was awake, Steve tried to be the best source of entertainment he could be.

Whether that was using Eddie's doorway as his own personal stage, miming being wrestled away by some unknown fiend, using a lift, being trapped in a box, sometimes a bad version of a tap dance or moonwalk on his way past.

But his favourite times were just being next to Eddie. He'd help him sit up and hand him his book to read, and Steve would sit next to him with his puzzle book. Steve was surprised at how nice it was to sit quietly with someone doing independent things.

Steve tries to put his build-Eddie-up plan into action. A tester, if you will. Eddie is sitting up in his bed, beside him, mask on, reading a choose your own adventure book.

Steve overemphasises his confusion by tapping his pencil to his lip and scratching his head, "Eddie?" 

Eddie hums back, still reading his book.

"Can you help me with a crossword clue?" Steve asks, holding his book closer to him so Eddie can't see it or the little sheet of paper on which he'd been writing his own clues.

Eddie puts his bookmark in and closes his book turning to meet the waiting gaze of Steve, "So…umm", Steve completely forgets what he has just read on the paper when their eyes meet, like Eddie's huge laser eyes just zapped the words he was holding in his brain out of existence. He turns quickly back to the paper in his book, "Yeah, so it says, Food item mice care for, possibly?"

Eddie grabs his notepad and pen. He's capable of talking, just it hurts to, and he likes to save talking for when the band get here because contending with three other people meant they often didn't wait for him to finish writing when they were excitedly talking about something.

Letters?

"Oh, three, then five, it looks like", Steve adds more confidently, exchanging a glance this time.

Eddie starts writing again.

3-5

(Food item)

Mice care for

He stares at the words for a minute, then raises his pencil in the air and writes in big letters with a big smile.

ICE CREAM!!!

"Oh yeah! That totally works. Thanks…er…buddy" Steve had almost dared to use a pet name but lost it at the last moment. He pretends to write the word in, but with his confidence shot, he elects to leave Eddie for a little while, maybe.

"I'm gonna go use my bathroom," Steve says, pointing towards the doorway, unable to look properly at Eddie, but he feels a tap on his arm. He turns to Eddie, who gives him one long blink, then points to his chest and down.

"You're tired? Want a nap?" Eddie nods gently and lifts his arms towards Steve, who is very much trying to keep his ecstatic grin turned down to an accepting smile. With a lot less in the way of tubes and wires, it's easier to get a hold of him. Eddie is almost helping a little by putting his arms around Steve's neck to hold himself up whilst Steve removes the backing cushion and lowers himself down with Eddie. He then releases Steve from his grip, letting one arm flop down to the bed, the other he puts the fingertips to his chin, then lowers his hand in an outwards and down motion towards Steve. Who isn't sure what it means, but he smiles back anyway, "Want me to close your door?" He asks, and Eddie nods weakly in reply. Steve leaves and shuts the door behind him. It was time for his tests anyway.

As usual, Steve's results are, for the most part, better, in some areas, probably due to his daily workouts, but his hearing is still not great in his right ear, especially. 

"Will I lose my hearing in it completely?" Steve asks, his face contorted with concern.

"We would honestly hope not, but it seems to be related to head injuries you've sustained over time, so maybe be a bit more careful in that department," the nurse says, packing away their equipment. Then, they pause for a moment and look at Steve fully, "You know, maybe if you wanted to, you could encourage your friend across the way to work out with you?"

Steve looks surprised, "You think he's ready for that? He can barely sit up or lie down unaided."

The nurse's eyebrows jump in surprise, "Yes, of course, I mean, when he's ready." They pack up faster.

Steve eyes them curiously and then shakes it off, "You check in with Eddie sometimes, too, right?"

"Er…yeah…why do you ask?" The nurse replies almost a little nervously.

"Do you know what this means?" Steve asks, waits for the nurse to look at him, and then replicates the hand gesture that Eddie made to him. He presses his fingertips to his chin and pushes his hand outwards and down towards the nurse.

The nurse's shoulders untense, "Oh, that. It means thank you."

"Oh, well…" Steve repeats the gesture at the nurse with a laugh, and she smiles back.

"You want to learn another one?" She asks

Steve nods enthusiastically at her.

With one hand, she makes a thumbs up, places it in the upturned palm of her other hand, raises them together, and says, "Help."

She lowers them down as if to start over and pushes the hand arrangement up and towards Steve, "Help you", then resets back to the start before moving them up and towards herself, "Help me."

Steve copies her with a big smile, "Thank you", he says and signs it at the same time, "Do you have a book of them or something?"

She looks awkward for a second, and it's puzzling Steve, "You know I did have a book, I just don't know where it is, but I can get you a copy for tomorrow. Does that sound ok?"

"Yes, that would be amazing!" Steve is so excited he will be able to understand Eddie a little better, and they might be able to talk more whilst he's resting his voice.

The nurse tags out as the Psychologist tags in, "How are we doing today, Steve?"

"Good, really good today," Steve says with a smile.

"Would you say your mood has improved since Eddie returned to us?" She says, settling into the chair opposite Steve, and looking over her notes, probably from last time.

"Very much so!" he says enthusiastically. He hesitated a moment, thinking back to what Dr Graven said, "Not that it hasn't caused some other differences too, maybe not for the better?" Steve is trying his best but expressing himself emotionally is not one of his skills.

"Go on," She says gently, clicking her pen, the nib poised hovering above the paper, and Steve can't take his eyes off it. He suddenly feels nervous, "It's ok, Steve. I make notes about everything so that I can give a balanced assessment. No one here thinks you're crazy. We know what happened to you all was very real."

Steve's eyes finally pull away from the pen to his hands resting on the knee of his crossed-over leg, "So, when Eddie wasn't awake. We were all waiting for him to wake up, right? But we all kind of knew he was safe with all the machines plugged into him, right?" Steve nervously rubs his thumb against his index finger, and his leg bounces.

"And now he's awake?" She prompts him to continue.

Steve lowers his voice, "I'm worried he'll…um…go back under again, or that curse thing will happen, or he just won't wake up again, or he'll have something terminal because his wounds look much worse than mine."

"Well, it's normal to be worried, Steve. You just have to think about where you are and that people are on standby here twenty-four hours a day. You're both safe here" Steve can hear her attempt to reassure him, but the voice nagging in his head is relentless.

"Yes, but for how long?! Forever?!" He half shouts with a snap, then looks around nervously again, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you." Steve says with an earnest apology. For comfort, his hand goes straight to the graph printouts in his pocket,

"Let me ask you this. How do you think Eddie is doing? Is he getting worse in your eyes?" She asks, with a graceful tilt of her head. Her phrase in your eyes makes Steve feel a little nervous. In his eyes, Eddie was something else entirely.

"Er…no", he manages to reign in his thoughts, "He's making great progress, it looks like, other than a few minor things."

"Like what kind of things?" She volleys back.

"Well, his voice and strength," he says quickly, "He might not look it because of his build, but he was weirdly strong. Our friend Dustin said her tore a chain link fence off with his bare hands, he hit one of those bat things with an oar straight outta the park, he carried amps to the top of a trailer and…yeah, he was strong'' Steve keeps that one, what happened in the boathouse, to himself. That's when he realised how strong Eddie was and how terrified he was. It was almost like he didn't see Steve at all.

"Was he stronger than you, would you say?" She asks, and Steve knows she's probably asking about just physically, but he can't help thinking about everything Eddie had been through in his life, then to be plunged into a very real hellscape, and he still had the time to make people laugh, give them hope, support them, give them more time…

"Yeah, he definitely was", Steve answers finally.

"Do you miss talking to him?" She asks with a smile.

Steve huffs a laugh and sighs as he reclines in his chair a little more relaxed, "Well, that is a complicated answer" Steve blushes a little.

"Complicated how?" She locks eyes with Steve, who looks down at the floor with a smile.

"I enjoy talking with him. Sometimes he says things that make me feel good about myself, you know? But then sometimes…." Steve shakes his head and bites his lip, "...sometimes he says things that make me feel…well…a little…." Steve feels the heat rise in his face again as he folds his arms around himself.

"Uncomfortable?" She offers.

Steve looks between her face and the floor quickly, "Yeah, kinda, but not in a mean way, I don't think…so um…I appreciate not hearing those things…well as often, you know?" But, of course, Steve had no idea if he was articulating this well or not, so whether she knew what he was talking about was a bit of a mystery to him.

"So just sometimes, then? You like it when Eddie says something that makes you feel, as you put it, uncomfortable, sometimes?" She asks gently with a small smile, which gives Steve a bit of faith that she knows what he is talking about.

"Yeah, sometimes. Believe it or not, before all of this, he would talk. A lot. All the time. About things, I had no clue what he was yapping on about, honestly. Usually, on a tabletop somewhere," Steve gestures up at an imaginary Eddie on top of his bedside table, and then Steve feels a little solemn. Eddie used to get so hyped after one of his speeches, the way he'd sit back down self-assured in his seat, with a smug little smile, sure he'd put the world to rights. "He probably misses that" Steve's inside thought becomes an outside one.

"Walking on tables?" She smiles big at Steve.

He laughs and shakes his head, "Probably. I kinda just meant the talking. Eddie's very good with words. He ran that game" Steve clicks his fingers over his head to encourage the words his way, "The dragons game, you have to be an excellent storyteller and think on your feet to do that. Well, that's what the kids say anyway."

"Do you think you're good with words, Steve?"

"Hmmm, I try, often fuck…oh sorry", he covers his mouth with his hand.

"That's ok, Steve. Carry on."

"Well, point proven", he laughs, "I often mess up, is what I meant"

"Would you like to be a more eloquent speaker, Steve?"

"Yeah, I think that would be pretty good."

"Why?"

Steve starts to count on his fingers, "Well, you sound smart. It makes the things you say more interesting. You can describe things better. When people are upset, you have, like, wise things you can say to them that help."

"And you think you aren't those things?" She asks, and Steve shakes his head and bows it a little as he looks down.

She rips out a page of note paper and writes on it:

Smart

Interesting

Descriptive

Wise

She hands it to him, "I want you to try and think about times when you've been these things and just make a note of them. If you need help, ask your friends or family. Sometimes the people around us see things that we can't or occasionally refuse to see in ourselves. No time limit, just something to think about," She says as she looks at her watch, "Anything you want to talk about before I go, Steve?"

"Is this all…um…confidential?" Steve asks in a whisper pointing between himself and the Psychologist.

"Yes, unless I feel you pose a threat to yourself or anyone else here." She adds, crossing her hands over her lap.

"Threat as in, like harming people, you mean?" Steve tries to clarify.

"That's right."

"Are you religious?"

"Nope. Just science for me" She smiles back and waits patiently.

Steve chews on his bottom lip, "Do you have any strong beliefs around marriage or dating, stuff like that?"

"Not especially. I feel as though you are dancing around something, Steve. You're quite safe to talk to me about anything."

Steve looks her over. He just can't tell. Was she going to be homophobic? If he told her, would he be seen as a threat? 

"One of my friends…um…doesn't like the opposite sex…they only like the same…." Steve watches her face intensely as he talks, looking for even a glimmer of disgust, but she simply nods, "is that bad, or would it be considered a threat?" 

She shakes her head, "No, not at all."

Steve smiles and relaxes his tensed upper back and shoulders, "What we were talking about earlier, the being uncomfortable…."

"When Eddie says certain things to you?" She assists

"Yeah, I think he makes me feel that way because I like him, you know, like-like him" Steve swallows and waits for her to say something, anything.

"Have you told him that?"

"Not in so many words, no. About a year ago, there was a kind of…um…confession on my part, at least, but I can't read him, so I don't know if he feels the same? Like, he flirted with me, I think? But then I think he's like that with everyone, you know?"

"What happened last year?"

"I was working in the new mall, and the girl I worked with, Robin, and Eddie had a bet that I wouldn't serve him first if there were a girl at the counter, and he would come by often and give me these riddles to solve, and I wrote him one back, but he replied, in his own way, that he solved it, but he didn't mention it again, you know? So I don't know if this is a one-way thing or not" 

"Would you like it if Eddie reciprocated those feelings?"

"Yeah!" Steve realised how quickly and enthusiastically he said that and immediately tried to reign it in, "Yeah, I mean, whatever, I guess it could be cool, maybe."

"Why?"

"Well…um…" Steve pulls at his collar

"What I mean is, what makes Eddie the person you want to reciprocate those feelings?"

"Well…er…he's smart and not shamed to be himself. So funny sometimes. Even if he is being a little annoying, it's difficult to be mad at him for long. He's talented. He's also kind. He looks after people and brave. Then the more obvious stuff like he's handsome."

"What is it visually about him that makes him handsome to you?"

Steve looks thoughtfully around the ceiling, "Well, he's got this smile, well he has many, but this one is so big and bright like it lights up a room. Then his eyes, wow, like the richest, deepest darkest chocolate silk pies, well you’ve seen them, you know, right?” Steve shrugs his shoulders and gestures at her with a little laugh before miming headlights with his hands “surrounded by these long beautiful lashes, and his hair when the light catches it, it's full of all different tones of reddy-brown, like mahogany and chestnut, and…" Steve stops, folds his arms across his chest, realising she got totally lost in Eddie for a moment, "and a bunch of other stuff."

The psychiatrist smiles and taps her pen on the piece of paper she handed to Steve, “Descriptive”, she sits back in her seat.

“Yeah, but that’s like one thing”, Steve laughs.

“You think Eddie expresses himself well, and is all those things on your paper?”

“Yeah.”

She raises her eyebrows at Steve, “All the time, about everything?”

Steve pauses, “Well…no, I guess not” a small smile of pride appears shyly on Steve’s face, “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything, Steve. I just asked you a bunch of questions you already had the answers to” She smiles sweetly at him, “Anything else for today?”

“No. I think I’m good. Let’s end on a good note today.”

She taps Steve’s paper as they stand for her to leave, “Wise.”

Later that evening, after visiting hours, Steve makes his way over to Eddie's room to say goodnight, turn out the light and close the door for him.

He notices Eddie isn't wearing his breathing mask, and Steve can see an unobscured big smile just for him, but then Eddie points at his notepad that he's holding up to Steve.

Wanna stay for a while? Not sleepy

Steve grins back, "Sure, let me grab my book" he quickly collects his crossword book and pencil and then returns to Eddie and his stack of books, "Which one do you want?"

Eddie adorably wrinkles up his nose and mouth in thought, tilts his head, and then quickly scribbles something on the pad.

Carrie

"You want to read a horror book right before you go to sleep? Are you sure that's wise?" Steve asks, his words painted with a fresh coat of concern.

Eddie smiles, shaking his head, makes a show of rolling his eyes and nods at Steve.

"Well, alright then, don't say I didn't warn you," he says as he hands the book to Eddie, the i-told-you-so look already on his face before the aftermath. Eddie reaches up, pats Steve's face, and then signs thank you at him.

Steve settles into the chair that seems much closer to Eddie's bed than usual. He figures it's from when Wayne was here and started a new crossword.

He's not far into it before he glances at Eddie's book. Steve can usually lose himself in his puzzles but today was different. He was charged up with some extra energy or confidence. He notices a piece of paper between Eddie's fingers at the back of his book, probably his bookmark. Steve recognises the handwriting on it being that of the Psychologist, but he can only make out one word peeking out over the top of the book:

Liked

Steve wishes he could take back being so nosey. What if that list was like his? Did Eddie really think he wasn't liked? Steve swears his heart squeezes because he's so mad at anyone that made Eddie feel unliked. He knows he shouldn't bring it up, so he does something else. He also uses his own list as a bookmark and puts it partially sticking out of the top of his book so that if Eddie glances over, he might see it.

"Say, Eddie, you couldn't help me with another clue, could you?" Steve asks, playing up the confusion in his voice as he looks at Eddie, who is still reading but nods.

"Bore a lad with something cute, eight letters," Steve asks, and Eddie bookmarks his page, enabling Steve to catch a glimpse of another word:

Success

Oh god, he thinks he's a failure. Steve swallows hard, trying to keep the intense emotions at bay. He's trying to build Eddie up, not bring him down.

Eddie is scribbling away on his notepad and frowns for a second before shaking his head a little and showing the pad to Steve:

ADORABLE

"I know I am, but what about the crossword?" Steve answers with what he hopes is cute confidence, and it must work because Eddie smiles and rolls his eyes.

"Ok, let's see…." Steve trails off, pretending to fit it into his crossword by writing in the answer for a totally different clue, "That's perfect!" Then, finally, he turns to Eddie and signs thank you.

Eddie's eyes go wide and are joined with a smile of surprise. Steve goes one step further and points at Eddie, "You" he signs help towards himself, "help me."

Eddie's eyes light up with excitement, and Steve feels his heart blossom inside his ribcage, releasing a thousand fuzzy feelings straight into his brain. Then Eddie's expression reverses. He looks mad and snatches at the paper sticking out of Steve's book, which he just manages to pull out of his reach in time.

Eddie scribbles on his pad,

THE SHRINK?

Steve nods at Eddie.

YOU DONT THINK YOURE SMART?????

Steve shakes his head in a no.

YOU GRADUATED!!! 

Eddie taps at his pad so hard the pen leaves a hole in the page.

YOU ARE NOT STUPID

"And you are very liked, Eddie!" Steve replies pointing at Eddie's paper.

TRADE?

"Ok," Steve says, carefully handing over his piece of paper to Eddie, who snatches it away from him and starts reading, his eyes zig-zagging over it before he flicked his own list at Steve like it had lost all meaning to him now he had Steve's. Eddie's hand moves to his jaw, and he looks deep in thought before grabbing his notepad again.

Steve looks at Eddie's list.

Liked

Success

Athletic

Rich

He can't believe what he's reading. Eddie was liked, not just liked, almost worshipped by the hellfire club.

He was extremely talented at many things Dustin had relayed to Steve, like guitar, singing, storytelling, writing, and business. Ok, dealing drugs was not the ideal business to be in, but he made it work.

Athletic?? The man ran, swam and rode a bike for his life. A death-defying triathlon and he thinks he's not athletic?! 

Rich, sure maybe he didn't have that in respect of money, but in life, in love, in care, Eddie had it all.

"Eddie, you can't seriously think you aren't these things?" Steve says in genuine confusion.

Eddie lifts Steve's list and angrily flicks it, so it makes a pop sound, and he goes back to scribbling on his pad.

Steve writes his thoughts next to each word on Eddie's list. By the time he's done, Eddie is waiting, a piece of notepaper in his hand that he's waiting to exchange. Steve nervously obliges.

He takes a deep breath and opens up the paper,

SMART - YOU FUCKING GRADUATED, AND DUSTIN SAID YOU FIGURED OUT THE RUSSIANS WERE INSIDE THE MALL

INTERESTING - THIS IS RIDICULOUS. ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH AND EVEN HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS ARE FASCINATING. YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER IN CONVERSATION YOU JUST NEED TO SPEAK UP MORE AND DON'T LET ASSHOLES (MOI INCLUDED) TAKE ALL THE SPOTLIGHT

DESCRIPTIVE - BUCKLEY SAID THE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE REACH LEVELS OF LABYRINTHIAN COMPLEXITY, AND THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT THE KIDS IS LIKE POETRY.

WISE - YOU KNEW TO GO DOWN THERE FIRST. IF ANY OF THE REST OF US HAD, WE MIGHT NOT HAVE STILL BEEN ALIVE BY THE TIME EVERYONE ELSE SHOWED UP, AND YOU TOLD ME NOT TO BE A HERO, AND I DIDN'T LISTEN. NOW LOOK AT ME.

It might not have been meant as such, but Steve reads that last line as a command and looks at Eddie. He is reading his own bit of paper, hand over his mouth, but he seems a little blurry. That's when Steve realises his eyes are filling up with tears, which he wipes away quickly and tries to compose himself.

He knew he couldn't because he still didn't know the lay of the land, but Steve had the overwhelming urge to reach out and pull Eddie so tightly to him. In thanks, in solidarity, in adoration, in appreciation, in want, in love. 

Eddie turns to him and signs a happy thank you, Steve repeats it back to him, and though Eddie is smiling, Steve sees his bottom lip tremble. Then, Eddie very rapidly yawns and wipes his eyes.

"Feeling tired now?" Steve asks gently. Eddie nods in response, "Alright then", he says as he gets up, leaving his book, list and pencil on the chair, taking the book from Eddie and putting it back for him. Steve feels Eddie's eyes on him the entire time, and when Steve looks back at him, he expects Eddie to look away like he'd been caught, but he doesn't. Instead, Eddie continues to look at Steve.  

It's not an intense glare or stare. Steve could probably only describe it as the first time you see something, like at a zoo or something. He's watching, observing, analysing something like that, Steve guesses.

Locked in that shared gaze for a few seconds before he could break free and gather his things from his chair, "Well, goodnight, Eddie. Thank you for writing that. I appreciate it. It's help-" Steve's words are cut off because Eddie's hand is on his arm, resting on his bicep so very gently. The sensation of barely touching sent goosebumps down the back of his arm.

Once Steve's eyes move from his own arm to Eddie, he signs help me, then points to his own chest and points down.

"Oh sure, Sorry I forgot," Steve says with a laugh, puts his things down, and as usual, puts his arms around Eddie, removes a pillow, and lowers him down to the bed. 

Around now, Eddie's arms typically release him and drop to the bed, this time, they do not, and as Steve lifts away from Eddie slightly, he feels Eddie's hands move across his back to his shoulders in an even gentle pressure. Steve can't help himself and looks at Eddie, whose eyes are already waiting for him. 

The moonlight streaming through the window makes Eddie's face look like it was made from pearl, and his eyes are dark and twinkling like the depths of space. Steve is so close he can feel the moisture of Eddie's breathing against his cheek, and it is unbelievably tempting, but he's still unsure. Eddie's eyes flit down to Steve's mouth, and Steve instinctively licks his lips. This was crazy. Steve's wants and conscience duke it out in his mind. Maybe Eddie felt vulnerable, and Steve should definitely not capitalise on that.

Steve doesn't know what to do, so he opts for what he hopes is a safe and respectful middle ground. He pulls back a little more, and Eddie's expression changes to a happy smile of acceptance, but his hands stay in contact with Steve's arms as they move down towards the bed. Dextrous cold fingers were warming up against his skin which was getting increasingly warmer in this position. Finally, Steve tilts his head up and gently kisses Eddie's forehead, "Goodnight, Eddie", he whispers softly and runs a hand over Eddie's hair before standing up to gather his things and return to his room.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 4.7.24

Dream 1: It was Christmas. I was in the bedroom of our old house with my siblings. Where the TV used to be, was now a collection of Christmas trees. There was a big one with several smaller ones around it, with lights, tinsel and various decorations. I was lying on the bed and staring the display, entranced. Then my mum comes in and flings another small tree at the foot of the set up. I think she had come across it in the house and thought why not, just add it.

There was something happening, an energy of change in the air (ok literally wtf as I was proof-reading this I got a random TG message from a scammer and the message was "Hello, do you have any good news recently?" Ummmmm. And the display picture was a LED light of a pink heart). It was the similar to the thick energy of reveal feeling I had in a dream a few days ago. My grandma (who's dead irl) was home from the nursing home. And so was my brother from interstate. I think something had happened to my grandma and her condition (she had dementia) had worsened. I think she was very sick and my parents had brought her home to spend her last moments with us. However, it didn't feel sad. In fact, I saw her standing and doing something in my parent's room and she seemed fine. I was on my way out and I stopped to greet her. She stared at me for awhile and I thought she wasn't going to recognise me but finally she said something akin to hello. But I hardly know if she really did know who I was. In any case, at least she seemed in good spirits. She seemed well, she was standing up on her own and everything.

Then my dad, sister and I got into the car and drove off into the night. It was really dark. We were dropping my sister off somewhere. We arrived at a bustling shopping strip and she got out. It seemed she had left her bike under a tree and she was getting it out from where it'd been parked. She waited for a break in the traffic and wheeled it out backwards and I could see that there was second bike attached at the back of her bike. Probably her friend's. Then my dad and I drove home. I didn’t say anything to him on the ride back, it was silent. Then I realised he was driving backwards. Like reverse driving all the way home.

Dream 2: I was in bed with my ex and we were having sex but had to stop because we could hear people on the other side of the door. He looked really disappointed, like he was frustrated that an interruption always happens. Then my parents barged in and I tried to look all casual like we were just lying there cuddling and that's all. But all of a sudden some little kid appeared in the bed with us and that's who my parents were looking for. The kid got out and follow my parents. I freaked out. I said to my ex, How long has that baby been there? The whole time? He tried to shrug it off like it didn’t matter but I was mortified.

Then there was some other random scene where I was typing something and no matter how I tried to fix the cursor or whatever, the words I typed showed up on the screen backwards. I couldn’t stop it.

Like e.g. 'I couldn't stop it' looked like:

ti pots t'ndluoc I

[obsessedwiththedragonprince]

Se4 ep4 thoughts

First of all, i just realised Ibis's message reminds me very much of Kingsley's patronus in HP and the Deathly Hallows saying the ministry has fallen😂

Random but I don't really get why Ezran has a telephatic connection to Zym? Like okay he can talk to animals which includes Zym(which I too don't really know where it came from but ok) but does this connection add anything besides being an deus ex machina at the end of book 2? And then they couldn't just write it off so it just shows up randomly? Idk myb it leads somewhere and i hadn't gotten there yet.

Human-elf argument? Is it to show they aren't ready to truly accept one another? Where's this going?

Why does Ezran going with them solve anything? Like it's a gesture of good will but he can't really help them fight Viren. He can just die and then Katolis will be without a king. Myb just I dunno, send your High Mage with them? It's a gesture of good will and he can actually defend himself. And isn't an eleven y/o! Opeli get your head on straight!

I really like the cook but he comes in at most random moments? Like I think brown sludge tarts can wait my friend.

Oh so others are coming. Kinda makes sense.

Damn architect i get where ur coming from but have a heart! Why doesn't he take his mother's spirit flame out of the camp?

Love how much Callum cares about Bait. Even tho he's just endangering him.

Ohhh we're getting Aaravos backstory!!

Wait how long do elves live? Aditi is Janai's grandmother right? And this was hundreds of years ago. I love how they couldn't just talk about who'll ascend the throne. Do you even get that many benefits from it?

Young human girl? Looks like some ancestor of Katolis leaders. And was that before dark magic and banishment of humans? Cause otherwise why did she even know about this? The cube!! Thousand years??? Do all elves live this long or just Great Ones(who are they btw?)

What exactly was Aaravos's goal with causing all these crisises? Now ig it's getting free but what about before?

New transition i love: Aaravos still shown whispering when it switches to Claudia to show how he's manipulating her.

Omgg is this a Viren - Terry bonding moment is see in the near future??

Oh fuck off Viren. Just. Fuck off. Like I didn't think it would be all sweet and this but at least something? Get a grip?? Idk if u read my post for ep3 but i imagined Viren would myb find some new respect for Terry after learning what he did but no.

Shit shit shit stupid architect woman why would u do that!? I feel so bad for the elf i started crying😭 honestly his voice actor really convinced me of his anguish and it makes the whole scene(same with Janai when her sister died these actors are doing a fine job) did the whole bucket just turn to ash? Damn. Why doesn't it happen to humans tho? Bucket more flammable? I like that he immediately regrets burning her even if she was in the wrong, but honestly the animation doesn't sell it as much as the voice actor would i think. Why is there no gasp or sth?

Are they hinting Aaravos could turn his attention to Callum? I mean he'd certainly be interesting as a human who knows an arcanum.

Damn. I mean we knew Aaravos was powerful but a being from the heavens? Dragons combined couldn’t risk a confrontation?

Okay that scene talking about the magical prison has me more and more convinced that my far-fetched thought was right and the cube is the prison lmao. Like it looked like sth tiny? Idk.

They found Ibis's body! With blood mysteriously gone but ok. If we're being honest Zym should prolly be more attached to Ibis than Ez cause he spent way more time with him. But he wasn't a MC so tough luck. Where's Callum? Oh they're late. Idk why but in my mind Rayla was riding with Callum and Soren.

Viren's hesitating! I mean I get it if magic got me killed I wouldn't be so eager to pick it up again.

Dragons can do magic? Huh.

What the fuck is he doing to Callum? I mean possession was my first thought but. Couldn't he have done it before to anyone? I mean he prolly didn't want to reveal what he can do while still in prison before he was ready.

Damn for whatever reason I love him talking to Ezran. Ig it shows sth but i don't have the brains right now to figure out what.

Bait being moral support to Soren so cute!!

I love how he blew them a kiss and broke the mirror lmao. Drama queen.

[twaaay]

a lil drabble idea with kinda ghost siren Sun

Kidnapping warning? Actually, Sun here just want to be able to play with his friend, he doesn't quiet realise what by this he will rip same friend from their whole life. Good thing mc already lost it all lol

Ok, the idea itself (another warning, it's my unorganized rumble before sleep, i will redact it and post in AO3 much more presented later) :

the story starts as an adult reader passing by the township and is warned by locals about “siren’s road” and reader laught at this calling the passage as “road toward home” and jumps into the car. While driving, reader reviews memories of their live. Starting with legend of the road and trying to guess why locals and tourists prefer to spend hours zig zagging in the canyons when there is such a nice straight road thought the wasteland slowly wondering toward their childhood memory about the same road what explains why reader called the pass as “road toward home” at the first place. 

The memory is them as a child on backseat of their guardian’s car on their way after lost of other guardian to the new beginning as their guardian told them. Unfortunately, that day the heat was too much apparently and the car broke down on the halfway. Reader’s guardian spend hours trying to find where the problem is while reader wondered around empty space picking up nice rocks. Reader’s guardian tells them some more local’s legends about the place and the name of the road to keep the child entertained.

An hour passes unevented and the guardian decides to deal with the car’s problem on the morning, cus the sun is going to set soon and nights in here are cold and dark so there will be no point in continue working. The due settles in the car to sleep and soon guardian drifts to sleep but reader is restless. They remember now clear as day what happened next but it’s need to be oblivious what adult reader thinks of the things what happened during the night as a dream, vivid and endearing for their heart but still a dream.

As the clocks hit 00 pm, the weald started to be illuminated by fantoms of some fantasy world. The child reader got from their thoughts by light of all colors and peeks throw the car’s window only to see what once empty space was now a bottom of the ocean. They quietly slip out of car and wonder around eternal kelps seaweed and all kind of creatures, in complete awe. They got playing around and running after a group of colorful fishes more into magical underwater. They aren’t actually capable of touching anything and same goes to their surroundings, the reader just passes like a ghost thru creatures, plants and objects cus it’s another dimension actually and you can’t get in there unless a certain conditions (kinda like a fran bow thing or smt)

So child reader keep wondering around and stumble over Sunny, who of course seeing a child trying to play around with fishes joins in. Cut things short: the two have fun and bonding with each other for hours, playing around all sorts of games without actually touching or hearing each other, but a siren certainly gets attached quickly. Unfortunately for him, the occasion was noticed by Moon and the other siren got in time just as Sunny was about to lur the child by his hypnosis to complete the ritual of transferring from one plain to another and play with new friend without worrying about time then dimensions connect almost ending. Instead, Moon hypnotise a human child to get back to sleep in the car, not listening to his counterpart’s whines. Eventually, Sun’s gives up and uses the remaining time to leave a gift to MC.

In the morning, reader finds a bright red line of seaweed by the car. Adult reader thinks the gift is some kind of prank from passing by locals to keep the legends fresh for tourists, but still treasure it’s dearly even after all this years. They placed the long faded in colors and dried gift in their pendant but never actually dares to open and look at it once more cus they are scared to ruin the strange old plant completely by a lightest touch. The memory ends with guardian waken up mc at 6 am to say what car now up and working and there is no sight of problems. Guardian laughs and say what yesterday the weather must be really too hot and through the night the car just cooled down.

Now back to the present there we discovers what reader actually just lost everything and decade to get back through this road to try start their live again. A lil timeskip on the sunset and suddenly the reader’s car crushes. Reader tries to find a problem but just as their guardian years ago, they can’t pinpoint on what’s wrong with the car: everything seems fine and operational. Unlike the memory, adult mc face the sunset still trying to see the problem. The reader goes back in the car near 00 pm and just about to close their eyes for a small rest then the light shows up again.

(It must stay a bit unclear, but the reason why reader’s car crushed in the first place was sun. He sensed his gift and had no intentions on letting his friend go again. He was determined to get the reader in his dimension this time and to finally be able to play with his dear small friend again. Also, yes this deadland the road lays in was really far in the past and actual ocean. The human plane may change, but the parallel is still one)

[obeiii-mee]

MC had a bad day or they’re dealing with a bad loss from a loved one. So they decide to seek comfort from the Brothers! But they don’t do it in a normal way, they just barge in the room where the brothers are all relaxing or hanging out at before MC just busts in getting their attention and they go “I need a hug 🥺”. Let’s see the some fluffy hc’s of the brothers comforting MC 🥰

And how could they not want to hug their cute human that is literally 3 seconds away from breaking down into tears?

The Brothers Comforting MC After A Bad Day:

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You’re right, they wouldn’t be able to resist, they love their human too much 😌

*soBS* I want to hug one of them so bad rn

Thank you for the request, I love writing fluffy HCs, it’s my weak spot and it gives me serotonin. I hope you have a nice day/night!! Uh, it’s sort of implied that MC is slightly shorter than them so sorry if that’s a problem-

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Notes: Fluff, mentions of loss and dead family members/friends, mostly comfort though, short HCs

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beezlebub and Belphegor.

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Lucifer:

-He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t really need to because him just being there, arms wrapped around you and hands lightly running up and down your back, is worth more words than any sort of verbal consolation he could’ve given you and because of this, you feel at ease

-His touch is firm but gentle and you relax almost immediately, burying your head against his chest and feeling him press a kiss on top of your hairline, tightening your hold on him

-He already told his brothers to back off because the last thing he wanted was for you you to get overwhelmed by their insensitivity so you two were left in the living room by yourselves

-In a bit of an awkward position though, because you were both standing and after a while, it was clear a hug wasn’t going to be enough

-That’s his excuse as to why he picked you up bridal style five minutes later and carried you all the way to his bedroom, a place he knows his siblings won’t ever trespass without his permission and somewhere he can shield you from any prying eyes while you’re in this vulnerable state

-At this point, he was basically cradling you like a baby, having you sit on his lap and waiting for you to tire yourself out until you couldn’t cry anymore and watching you slip into that hiccuping stage you get after a breakdown

-Lucifer is obviously going to ask what happened, but whether you answer him or not is up to you because he’s not one to push matters if he sees you’re uncomfortable talking about it

-However, he might insist if he concludes that it’s affecting you and your well being and that’s how you know usually know he’s worried

-His voice is soft though and just listening to it makes you want to tell him everything, whether it’d be something as annoying as a small inconvenience you stumbled across that day or the death of a relative, you feel welcomed enough to spill everything

-Even if you decide not to, he’ll stay with you until you feel better, until you’re no longer crying or shaking or anything of the sort. He speaks occasionally, almost soothingly about how important you are to him and how capable you are of overcoming anything in your way. For the most part, however, he remains quiet and allows you to mull over your thoughts, willing to forget about his paperwork just to let you cling to him for a few hours

-Maybe later, when you’re no longer as distressed, he could get the full story out of you and help you overcome whatever problem you’re having trouble facing but for now, he understands all you need is for him to be there

“MC?” He calls your name out because he was thinking that maybe you had fallen asleep but he realised that was not the case when you looked up at him, streaks of tears still sliding down your cheeks. When you don’t respond, he sighs almost contently “A bit longer?” You don’t answer again but this time, he could feel you nod against him and he smiles despite himself as he leaned his head against yours “All right then, just a bit longer.”

Mammon:

-Truth be told, he’s never been the best at comforting someone and normally, he’s kind of awkward when he wants to show his support because it feels so out of his character

-But it’s not like he was going to refuse you anyway. Not when you specifically came to him and asked him for help and not when you looked like you were on the verge of crying. He’d be a monster to deny you >:(

-It upsets him too, you know. He’s meant to be your protector, guardian even, so the fact that he couldn’t keep you from getting hurt makes him feel like he failed at keeping his human safe. Actually, it takes a lot of convincing on your part just to tell him that you’re not actually physically hurt. Just a shitty day…

-Mammon, despite the walls he puts up ever now and then, is someone that genuinely cares for you. And he’s also the type that does almost everything in excess, especially when it comes to you or spending money. That’s just his personality; he’s loud and boisterous and even though he wants to deny this, completely transparent with his emotions

-You ask for a hug? He gives you plenty of hugs! He lets you lay on top of him while cuddling so he can hold you!!! He brings you snacks and drinks!!! Shit, he basically cradles you the whole night!!! And he’s blushing and acting annoyed the entire time, refusing to accept how much he’s actually enjoying this

-The point is, he tends to coddle you whenever you have a bad day or if you’re really affected by the loss of a dead loved one. This is probably because he, in turn, likes to be babied and cared for when he’s feeling down and he subconsciously does that to you because it’s the only means of comfort he knows how to execute well

-A hug would’ve sufficed, but you’re his human and let him be damned if he’s not gonna give you the world on a silver platter if you keep looking at him with those sad eyes of yours

-By now, if you need anything, you just need to ask because even with a bit of grumbling, he’ll get it for you. More snacks? Say less. Wanna watch TV with him for a while? Immediately reaches for the remote? You just want to cuddle? His body is naturally warm for a reason bby, dig in. You want his heart? Give him a moment to surgically get it out of his chest-

-No matter what, he’s so glad that you trust him enough to talk to him about this sort of stuff and that he’s the first person you think of when you need consolation

-It makes sense after all, right? He’s your first pact so your direct happiness is his responsibility while you’re in DevilDom! It’s his job to make sure you function again by tomorrow morning and that you’re no longer troubled by anything

“Hey! What’s with all the crying huh?” He cups your face in his hands and softly squishes the flesh between his fingers. His thumbs brush over the tears in your eyes and he let’s out a small ‘tsk’ as your foreheads touch and his hands drip to your shoulders to keep you steady “The Great Mammon is hugging ya right now, ya know? There’s no reason for you to be upset, not when I’ve got ya in my arms like this, OK? So you can stop with yer water works now.” As noisy as his voice is, there’s a gentle note behind it when he speaks and embraces you, his cologne spreading everywhere “I love you, ya big idiot. So please, stop cryin’ and lemme hold ya already! Yer making me worried, ya stupid human.”

Levi:

-You stopping by his room is not unusual. In fact, you do it every day and it’s just part of the routine you have with him. However, he’s wasn’t exactly expecting you to stand there, all shaken up and ask him for a hug!!!

-And he doesn’t process this request for a second but then he freaks out so badly-

-Yells incomprehensibly about how you’re ‘pulling your normie tricks on him again’ and how he’s ‘not going to be fooled by them anymore.’

-You raise your head to meet his eyes while he’s still rambling on though and he sees your teary expression and now he feels guilty because you look really upset. Levi’s kinda scared he made it worse-

-He’s the type to usher you in his room and lock the door as usual but instead of doing what the two of you always do, you literally stay attached to him because you need comfort damn it!

-Levi….is sort of clueless about these emotional outbursts since he himself doesn’t deal with them very well. However, he’s watched enough animes revolving around romance to conclude on the best course of action so-do not fear! (Spoiler, he still doesn’t know what he’s doing)

-He’s really stuck and can either stay as quiet as a nun or start babbling in a language you probably wouldn’t even understand because he’s so nervous

-Or actually, he might start crying with you if I’m being fair; he’s very in sync with his Henry and your emotions

-Once he calms down, he’s actually not all that bad at comforting. Levi is a bit stand offish with his hugs at first but he relaxes into them and by now, you’re both standing by the side of his bed, with you leaning onto him and him holding your hand. He then intertwines your fingers together but subconsciously because he wouldn’t have the gall otherwise

-Later, he tells you to help yourself with the snacks he has hidden in his room. I guarantee you he has a whole ass mini refrigerator hidden somewhere for his all night gaming session, in case he needs any boosts. No one knows how Beel hasn’t found the stash yet and there’s no need to tell him

-Then you watch re runs of old shows together and make fun of the shitty editing and dialogue. He’s still holding your hand though and he’s really flustered and wondering if it’s too sweaty for you but don’t mention it because he’ll get even more embarrassed

-He glances over to you, every once in a while, whilst you’re cuddled up against his arm, eyes glued on the TV, to make sure you’re OK. You almost gave him a seizure or at least that’s how he felt-so he made it his mission to make you feel better by any means necessary. Fuck today’s raids, his team can get them done without him!!

“I-I don’t know why you would want me of all people to hug you but…” he trailed off in a whisper, having to lean down so you could wrap your arms against his neck and bury your head in his shoulder. He pulled you in closer, a streak of protectiveness coursing through him as he shut the door to his room with his foot “Lord of the Shadows would never leave Henry all on his own, so I’m not going to do that either. This is an important character development arc and-just, please don’t cry. I’ll give you more hugs, OK? Seeing you like this is not good for my heart-“ stopped mid sentence after realising what he just said and now he’s the one burying his head in your shoulder, flushed beyond hell “Forget I just said that! Holy Lord Diavolo this is embarrassing, why am I like this????”

Satan:

-It troubles him greatly to see you like this and he can sort of feel the world shift out of place, seeing you with tears running down your face and hands balled into fists out of frustration almost immediately makes him fly into a fit of rage because who would dare to hurt you-

-Oh, a hug? If that’s all you need, he’s more than happy to oblige but if you’re as distraught as you seem to be, he wonders if just a small embrace from him would be enough

-Satan’s hugs are very intimate and even passionate at times. He has one hand on the back of your head and the other supporting your lower back while you bawl your eyes out into his shoulder and getting his uniform wet

-You can’t really seem to focus on what he’s trying to tell you because he’s so warm and welcoming and even though he’s someone as renowned as the Avatar of Wrath, he’s shockingly patient with you as you let out the overwhelming emotions that have been consuming you all day

-It’s hard to not relax when you’re in Satan’s presence because he’s calm and he smells like musty, old books and mahogany wood and cats, meaning he was most likely cuddling strays he found on the street the entire day. The first visual that comes to mind is fire crackling behind a grate in a chimney and someone reading a book while swinging back and forth on an old, rickety chair when you’re around him

-He will wait until you’re no longer crying and then, before you know it, you find yourself in the library with him, drinking tea and being handed a plate of biscuits he took from the kitchen to help you regain your strength after all that crying. You’re still feeling pretty miserable about the day you’ve had but you quickly lose yourself in a conversation with him over a cup of tea

-Sometimes, you two talk for hours on end about nothing important just to hear each other’s voices and finally have some quality time spent together. Even though he wishes the circumstances were better, he’s glad to have been able to snatch you away from his brothers for a while and he’s even happier you chose him to confide in

-Satan practically doesn’t even mention your outburst and keeps the small talk minimal but he wants you to know that if you do wish to tell him about it, he’s more than happy to listen and he’s not so bad at giving advice either

-The topic of the discussion you were having with him changed abruptly by the end of the night and now you’re reading together from this book he started a while ago, both of you covered with a blanket, your head on his chest and his leaning on yours. He’s holding the book with both of his hands, but still managed to get his left wrapped around you. And because of this feeling of safety and warmth, you don’t feel desperate anymore. Tomorrow, you’ll be able to sort out your feelings but now, you’re content to just listening to Satan read, in his clear, soft voice

“Ah MC, could you turn the page for me?” You do as he asked to and you could feel him smiling as he kissed your hairline, sighing before going back to the book and the story within “Thank you. You truly are amazing, did you know that? I’ve never met someone as caring and as kind as you. Well, I suppose Beel could compete for the title but unlike him, you don’t really leave us in debt whenever we visit the grocery store.” Hearing you laugh makes him smile even more and he lets you hold the other side of the book while he plays with your hair and now you join in reading with him, out loud and trying to act out voices for the characters. As everything unfolds, Satan feels the world click right back into place.

Asmo:

-It’s a known fact by now that Asmo is willing to give you any sort of affection at any point in time, whether it’d be a hug, a kiss, holding your hand-you name it! I mean, whenever he’s feeling down, you being there to encourage him helps a lot so it’s only natural it works the other way around too!

-If he notices that you’re genuinely upset by something, then he would have no problem whatsoever with lavishing you in attention and really, a hug or two from him is the bare minimum in situations like this

-In any case, he always enjoys fussing over you and you having a bad day is the perfect excuse for him to do so! After all, he can’t disappoint you since you came to him with your troubles and he will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Actually, if he could, he would keep hugging you forever but as miraculous as his charm can be, it’s not effective against someone with this low of a morale

-His first suggestion is to take a bath! It’s his way of taking care of you; you’re tired after such a long day and he feels like you’re neglecting yourself a little because of it. So you relax in his bathtub with him for a while, him actively trying to get your mind off any bad, lingering thoughts while you splash around in the bubbles

-And obviously after that, you need to have your mandatory spa sessions with him since you need to unwind and what’s a better way to do that than to let him paint your nails and apply lotion to your skin? Besides, it creates a great opportunity for you to take things off your chest

-He’s in need to hear gossip constantly so if you don’t feel like talking, he’s gonna be a bit bummed out but he still respects your wishes enough to not push you. If your problem is as sensitive as the death of a family member, you’re not obligated to talk to him about it and he will understand, since people grieve in different ways. He too shut down after the death of Lilith for a while after all

-A bad day is nothing Asmo can’t handle. He’s had plenty of those before, mostly because of Mammon and his thievery, they’re usually common factors. It’s only natural you experience those yourself and he’s more than willing to be your support system if you need one. He wants you to know that you can go to him if you need advice or help with anything, or even if you just need to someone to hear you out

-To give a more detailed explanation of his hugs, they are usually really light and you never feel suffocated when you’re in his arms. He never squeezes you too tight and he always smells amazing, so you feel inclined to stay near him for as long as possible. Despite his overtly loud nature, he gets incredibly soft spoken with you and he traces patterns on your back and arms as you stand there together

-It’s important to mention, he never pulls away from you first. He lets you decide when you’ve had enough and when you’re ready to move on or if you require some other means of comfort

-And even if you’re no longer disgruntled, he’s still going to pamper you as much as possible the next day with either a shopping spree or another few spa sessions, this time done at a professional institution rather than the privacy of his bedroom

-Asmo is in touch with your emotions and it’s kinda scary sometimes because of how well he can read you, since he almost always knows what you need

“Oh darling, how could I refuse a hug from you?” You can feel his arms embrace you, even with your eyes closed and for some reason, this makes you cry even harder, sobbing as he tries to comfort you. You’re aware he let go of you at some point and returned with a tissue to dab away at your tears, gently to not hurt your eyes and now he’s hugging you again, a wry smile on his face “You don’t have to worry about a thing, MC. Everything will get sorted out, I promise. In the meantime, come to me if anything troubles you again, OK? No more crying, darling-it’s bad for your eyes.”

Beel:

-The type to immediately lean in for a hug without even questioning why. As soon as you ask him, you barely have time to finish the question and you already find yourself in his arms. The only exception would be when he’s eating or maybe in the middle of a work out but the point is he doesn’t hesitate much when it comes to you. And I mean, he loves hugs just as much as his siblings do

-Beel is not the most observant and he may not realise you’re in a bad mood unless you tell him outright. It’s not even that he’s emotionally distant, it’s just that if you tell him that you’re fine, then he’s gonna take your word for it and believe you since he’s pretty straightforward with his feelings as well. However, as dense as he may be on occasion, even he’s bound to notice that you’re not being your usual self and this is especially true if you start crying out of nowhere while he’s nearby. Probably assumes the worst and is under the impression that he did something to upset you because shifting the blame onto himself whenever others suffer is his coping mechanism and we’ve seen him to do it before

-If you’ve just had a bad day, he understands that things could’ve been very overwhelming for you and he wishes he had known sooner so he could’ve helped back then, instead of letting it come to this. But he doesn’t hesitate all that much since he looks like he’s built for giving hugs on a daily basis. I’m not even sure this would classify as a hug since you’re not touching the floor. Rather, you are attached to him like a koala and he’s carrying you around as if you were a baby strapped to his chest. And he genuinely doesn’t mind. He’s been doing it with Belphie for centuries now

-Please, after a while he gets seriously concerned because are humans supposed to cry this much? What if you dehydrate or something? So he makes you stay in bed and just gives you plenty of water. You look so pale and sad, he shares his food with you too because his heart is aching just looking at you like this. He feels like besides being there, he can’t provide you with much help and he’s starting to think he’s hopeless at comforting

-If a family member died then…Beel is one of the best people you could’ve gone to. Honestly, having dealt with his sister’s situation, he knows how horrible it is to lose somebody you love dearly (I mean, all the brothers do but I’m making a point saying Beel, Belphie and Lucifer were especially affected). Now he’s sad himself since he’s aware that you’re going through something similar and his twin might walk in on the two of you being emotional on the floor

-For the most part, Beel makes sure you keep yourself healthy even when you’re tired and depressed. Continues to bring you food, even if he eats half of it on his way to your room, and just keeps you company in general in case you get lonely. Seeing you upset makes him even more considerate of your feelings and you don’t have the heart to tell him that he doesn’t need to stay with you all night. He thinks he does because you’ve always offered to stay with him whenever he’s had nightmares before so how he’s gotta return the favour

-Beel gives these bear hugs all the time, since he’s so big and his hand basically covers your entire back. So, more often than not, you end up cuddling while standing because he’s a lot taller than you, with him being a demon and all. Despite that, you feel so unbelievably complete when he holds you like this. It’s hard not to feel protected since his whole body is practically concealing yours so easily all the time and you feel sheltered from the world and it’s….nice

-And Beel enjoys hugging you too, because he knows that as long as he’s nearby, you’ll be safe and that’s really all he needs. He wants to be there for you the same way you were there for him when he needed it most and comforting you when you’re having a shitty day is like his full time job

-You could come to Beel with any problem and he would never judge you, no matter what. He’s just really unproblematic and he just wants you to go back to your normal self because it hurts him to see you cry your eyes out. Now, not only are hugs mandatory but holding your hand is too. It’s like hugging…but your hands are doing the hugging

-Definitely even goes to Belphie after a while if he really doesn’t know what to do and that’s how you know he’s desperate to do something. Since the Seventh Born isn’t exactly someone that yields great advice, more so when it comes to other…people….and his twin knows this-

-Beel’s best strategy at the moment is to just maintain some kind of physical contact because he discovered that makes you feel better and it calms you down more than him trying to verbally console you. He even invited you to sleep in his room if you’re comfortable doing so just so you’re not alone. After that one incident, he’s trying to coax you to tell him whenever something is wrong so he can jump in and help, because that’s all he really wants to do ahakenksms

“MC? Did something happen?” He’s honestly taken aback by how shaky you are and how you’re hands are trembling as they’re reaching to connect with his. Without much of a warning, he feels a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach and now he discovers that he doesn’t like seeing you with tears trailing down your face. And he feels worse the longer you wail in his chest and he doesn’t know what to do. So, he wraps his arms around you so tight you think you might explode, strangely comforted by the feeling as he speaks again “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you. What can I do to help, MC? We can just stay like this for a while if you want” And when he sees you nod, he proceeds to not move an inch almost the entire night. Obviously, hunger overtook him eventually but he shared his stolen goods with you so can you really complain? Doubtful, not when he hasn’t let go of your hand the whole time.

Belphie:

- Hugging him is a gamble. Realistically speaking, you’re not going to catch him standing upright long enough for you to give him a hug. He’s laying on the floor somewhere, asleep so you shouldn’t expect much from him to begin with. Even if you were to get lucky and stumble upon him while he’s wide awake, he might slump over and succumb to sleep the moment you embrace him because you’re so warm

-Cuddling is a different story altogether. He’d rather shoot himself in the foot than not have you cuddle with him so if you need to be babied for once, he’s a pretty good option to consider

-As usual, he’s in the attic and you go to him because it’s really late and you didn’t want to wake up any of the other brothers. Actually, Belphie is normally awake by dusk so to see him sleep like a log past midnight was quite surprising. You didn’t exactly want to interrupt but if you stayed alone for any longer, you would’ve gone insane. So you shook him awake. And he was understandably confused and probably forgot what planet he was on for a minute when you did so

-Technically, he was half awake and from his point of view, everything must’ve been pretty blurry. He did see you; the problem was that because he was still feeling very sleepy, he was basically in a daze and could only squint at you to try and figure out if you were really there or if he was hallucinating. His suspicion was confirmed soon enough because he reached out after a few seconds and poked your cheek just to check. His face the entire time and the action itself was so amusing that, despite tittering on the edge of a breakdown, you burst out laughing

-Once he came to the conclusion that you were, in fact, real and he wasn’t dreaming, he sighed and opened his arms out for you; a direct invitation to cuddle with him. By now, he likely didn’t even noticed you looked sad because, as I said, he was all over the place but this little ritual you two have was common enough that it got engraved in his memory. Now he does it out of impulse whenever you’re around and he wants attention

-So you basically tackled him and threw yourself on top of him so hard, both of you toppled over on the bed and now you were used as a blanket, with his arms wrapped securely around you; preventing you from getting up. Not that you were planning on doing that anytime soon but moving on-

-You thought he had fallen back asleep, because he went really quiet and he stopped squirming to get comfortable. To be exact, the whole room was rather still and the only thing you could really hear was Belphie’s soft breathing and the rustle of the bedsheets every once in a while. And since it was extremely dark as well, you couldn’t see a thing either so it felt like the best place to let go of your stress

-It’s not like you were making much noise but as I said, the seventh born wasn’t sleeping just yet. And he wouldn’t be able to because it was obvious to him now that something was wrong. He believed that he was bearing witness to something that should’ve been a lot more private than this so he didn’t say anything. You should have your moment, let you have a chance to recollect your thoughts and the next day, he might ask you

-It was too much to handle. It’s not like he was gonna get any sleep unless he knew your problem was solved otherwise he might get nightmares all night. Besides, if you’re crying this much, then something terrible must’ve happened. You realised he was awake when he gave your entire body a small squeeze, as if to reassure you and you froze because did you just wake him up???? Or worse, did he hear all that sobbing you were doing????

-Hugging him is similar to hugging a pillow. He’s soft and squishy and warm and it’s impossible to resist him when rest at a time like this is so tempting. His fingers running over your pact mark once or twice, as if to remind you that he’s right there and low whispers describing the best dream he ever had about you, hoping to distract you for long enough to help you fall asleep

-To him, it doesn’t make a difference if a family member died or if you’re just having a bad day. All he knows is that you’re having a lot of emotional problems because of either one and as a result, you need a shoulder to lean on. He’s glad that you trust him enough to let him assist and if it was up to him, he would keep cuddling you forever. You’ve already suffered enough so let him take care of you this time around, OK?

“Dumbass, why are you crying?” The gentleness of his words was a clear contrast to that quick insult he shoved at the beginning of his statement, though you couldn’t hear any malice behind it and the fact that he really cared about what happened to cause you to struggle with your emotions so badly, would’ve made you wail even harder. However, he managed to silence you pretty well because he kept speaking and you wanted to listen; you wanted to hear what he had to say so you reduced your sobs and you sat quietly enough to do just that. Belphie flipped you over, now with him on top and you underneath and he laid there, cheek sloshed against yours as he sleepily mumbled out more praise for you, “MC, are you tired? You should go to bed, you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow, you can tell me what the problem is and I’ll help. I promise-I’ll even get up early for you. Just…please calm down. I don’t want to see you crying yourself to sleep ever again. I’ll stay here the entire time, alright? And I’ll make sure you have nice dreams tonight MC…just let me hold you…”

[mindofharry]

In which bucky and you are hooking up and he doesn’t appreciate you until you’re gone.

angst!! so much angst!! swearing, bucky saying stuff he doesn’t mean and a whole lot of crying. feedback is welcome as always <3

roughly based around the time the falcon and the winter soldier meet up again :D enjoy, lovers!

losing you masterlist.

You met Bucky just after he moved into the apartment block. He looked pretty lost and you, being you, decided to lend a helping hand and help out a neighbour.

You did not expect him to end up in your bed the next morning.

It was unexpected and kind of childish, but he made your heart pound and your lips to as red as a cherry. Bucky barnes had you wrapped around his finger before he even knew your name, he just had that kind of charisma. You wanted to be around him all the time, be more than just the causal hook up. Not just someone he calls when he needs to let off steam. You want to be it for him. Bucky is unpredictable and stubborn, but you were sure you could fix him or at least help him onto a better path.

He just wouldn’t let you in.

You’d have sex, and then he’d kick you out. He wouldn’t even let you stay the night. Which at first you didn’t really care about as he would always greet you with a smile and walk you to the local bar. Bucky would have actual conversations with you, that was only for a week. The sex got more hot, more steamy and a lot more fucking rough. He didn’t greet you in the morning, not even a smile and he most definitely didn’t walk you to the bar anymore. He said it was a waste of his time.

You’re a confident person, you don’t usually let people like bucky barnes hurt you this much.

But he was so much more than a hook up to you, you loved him.

It was wednesday, so that means when bucky is done with his lunch he’d text and you’d meet him at his apartment. That’s what happens every wednesday and you never question it. Why would you? A strapping man like bucky wants you in some way. You’re not going to let it go because you have feelings for him.

It might be a little selfish, but you loved him too much.

You made yourself something to eat and watched some downtown abbey to calm yourself down. Bucky liked it when you were chill and not your usual bubbly self. You’ve changed yourself completely for this man. You hope it’s all worth it in the end.

After eating and relaxing for a bit, you decide to shower and get ready for buckys. You want to look nice, show him what he’s missing.

You wash your body with multiple shower gels, and decide to shave your legs - which really, you didn’t want to it’s a lot of effort and you’re just not in the mood today. But if bucky likes it, you’ll do it.

He mentioned once while you were in bed that he loved how smooth your legs are. So you shaved them before every hook up.

“You’re amazing” You reminded yourself, putting on your mascara. The make up will only come off, but again you want to make a good and lasting impression on him. You never used to wear makeup, just a bit a blusher and the occasional gloss. But bucky likes it. It’s always about what bucky likes and dislikes. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.

You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts and walk into your room. This time you pick something you want to wear. Opening up your closet you pull out your flowery, summery, dress that got at a marker in spain. Your family flew there and spent the summer in a nice little villa. It was the only bit of a peace you felt. When you came home, it felt like everything you left behind came crashing down.

Maybe that’s why you depend so much on bucky. You never wanted to be that person, but bucky makes it so hard. And you’re definitely not blaming him for you becoming so attached, you’re definitely the one to blame. But bucky is just, he’s just this great guy.

Or at least he was.

You get it, he lost a lot of people in the blip and after the blip. You lost people too. But it obviously affected him more, so you’re cutting him some slack.

Even if he doesn’t really deserve it.

After getting dressed and making yourself look some what presentable you text bucky to let him know you’re on the way to his apartment - it was only a 30 second walk, but you know he liked his privacy, so you warn him each time.

There was no response. As per usual, you thought rolling your eyes. You strolled down to his apartment taking your time, the weather looked nice enough. Maybe you’ll go for a walk after this, you know you won’t be staying long in buckys home.

You knock on the door, looking down at your phone. Still no messages. Now this, was surprising. Even if he didn’t text he’d always let you know in some way if he couldn’t make it. Bucky may be a dick, but he’d never leave you waiting.

You wait outside for a minute and contemplate leaving, but your hear footsteps walking towards you. You look over and see the man you love.

Bucky Barnes.

And he did not look happy. Angry, frustrated and confused maybe, but not happy. Usually he’s in a good mood after meeting up with his little friend for lunch. Did something happen? You don’t want to pressure him, but you need him to know you’re always there for him.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when bucky stepped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowed and scowl on his face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked fishing out his keys. You start to get annoyed, this man is really testing you. But you push that feeling down and put a smile on your face, placing a hand on his shoulder. Bucky shrugged it off, the smile fell off your face. Bucky noticed, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m busy today” He said putting the key into the door, trying to open it. He obviously put the wrong one in, frustrating him even more.

“We always meet up on wednesdays, and i did text you. But you never replied so i just assumed” You said, messing with the hem of your dress.

You wish he’d compliment you.

“Well you assumed wrong and i need you to leave. Got a date tonight” He said finally opening up his door. Your heart broke, it actually felt like it shattered into a million different piece. A date? With another person? Fuck, you didn’t think this far ahead. You thought that one day he would just realise. That it’s been you, you’re the one he wants. But obviously you were wrong.

You were wrong about a lot of fucking things.

But you put a brave face on and walked into his apartment, closing the door behind you. Again, you didn’t want to intrude but you needed to know how serious this date is. You need to know if this is the end of you and bucky.

Bucky sighed as he saw you standing in his hallway, he looked exasperated. Like you were a chore he forgot about or had been putting off. He looked at you like you were exhausting. Maybe you are. You should’ve never agreed to this hook up, friends with benefits shit. It always ends badly.

“Y/N, i said you need to leave” Bucky said placing a hand over his eyes. You nodded and instead of leaving you sat beside him. Bucky looked over at you and you’ve never seen him angrier.

“Are you deaf?” he asked and you flinched at his tone. “I have a date, and i need you to get the fuck out of my house” Bucky said and you sighed standing up.

“You’re an asshole” You mumbled and bucky stood up as well.

“You don’t say that when i’m balls deep in you” He replied, placing a hand on your cheek. He wasn’t rough when he grabbed you, but it did scare you a bit.

“This was just sex Y/N. Nothing more. You’re not my type, you’re too exhausting and tiring for me. I’m not interested in that sort of shit. Get the hell out of my home” Bucky said sternly letting go of your face. You searched his eyes for any sign of remorse or guilt, but nothing. He looked proud of himself really.

You sighed to yourself and wiped under your eyes. This is it. Fuck, ok don’t cry Y/N.

“I hope you enjoy your date” You said walking past him.

“Oh, I will” he smirked, watching as you left his apartment. You held back a sob as you ran to your apartment, ignoring on the stares and pitiful looks. You needed to leave the place.

You called your mom and told her the whole story and surprisingly she wasn’t disappointed.

“I could never be disappointed in you, baby. look at you, you’re amazing” Your mom said making you giggle. “That man doesn’t know what he just lost. a great friend is one of them. Now, men aren’t something you should be crying over. Go get yourself freshened up and then relax. You deserve it, honey” She said and you nodded to yourself, sitting up on your bed.

The tears were almost instant. Your mother hated to hear you cry. She lived so far away, and you just needed her hugging and cooking to make all of this pain go away. Heartbreaks are normal, their natural and everyone goes through it. It just hurts even more when the person you love the most doesn’t love you back.

“I love him” You admitted and your mom sighed. You could tell that she hated this too. “I met him when he was kind to me, he would walk me to the bar sometimes work too” You said and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “He was sweet. He would cuddle with me and not throw me out of his home. And he would listen, he would listen to anything i had to say” You sobbed.

“What did i do wrong? What did i do to make him hate me, mom?”

Your mother let out a pained sound. She just wanted to hug you and tell you everything would be ok.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is all on him, honey. He didn’t appreciate what he had. He took advantage of your kindness and love towards him. You did nothing wrong. Never blame yourself for something like this.” She said quickly and groaned.

“I’ve gotta go” You said, and before your mom could get a word in you hung up and threw your phone against the wall.

Another thing to get fixed.

You did actually have work; but you decided you would get anything productive done. So giving yourself the day off would be good. Sit around, pig out and do not think of bucky barnes.

That lasted all of 5 minutes.

You’re now watching the notebook and didn’t get through 5 minutes of it without thinking of bucky. It’s not like you guys did actual couple things. Why are you so upset? Because you loved him, you idiot.

And now you have to get over him. If he was going on dates, you would too. If he was sleeping with other people, you would too. It’s time bucky barnes got a taste of his own medicine.

A week went by where you through yourself back into work and focused on catching up with old friends. During the day you didn’t think once about bucky, but when you got home that’s when the sob fests start. You’re pretty sure your neighbours can hear you, you feel a little bad.

Wednesday came and you didn’t once check your phone - one because it was smashed and you could barley see the screen, and two because you’re not going to be that girl anymore. You’re come to terms with the fact that bucky wasn’t for you, and although your heart is still very, very broken.

You’re doing better. You’re getting there.

On the other side of the apartment block, bucky barnes was not getting there or doing ok. You hadn’t texted him in a over a week, that’s a new record for you. Usually you send him memes or little reminders randomly. But there’s nothing, he’s been staring at his phone screen for far too long waiting for you to text.

He sighed and began typing.

‘ Hey, it’s bucky. Wondering if we’re still on for tonight? X ‘

He sent it and then put his phone down, turning on his tv. The date he went on was a bust. The girl wasn’t you, he figured that out pretty quickly. It’s not the girl wasn’t good looking or anything and she was nice enough, he just couldn’t stop comparing her to you. Y/N wouldn’t get the drink or Y/N wouldn’t sit that far away, or Y/N wouldn’t totally flipped that jackass off. He left abruptly in the middle of the date because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t handle not being with you, and that, to him was a problem. Bucky hadn’t been this dependent on a person since steve.

And steve left.

Bucky was just protecting himself, but while he was doing that - he hurt you. Immensely. He put you through so much pain in after this relationship. It was barley even a relationship, but it hurt just as much.

10 minutes went by, and there was still no response. You didn’t even read the message. Now he knows how you feel. Instead of waiting a little longer, bucky decided to just go to your apartment instead. He strolled down the hall and knocked on your door. Your neighbour came out of his home. Bucky nodded his way, the man only tutted at him.

“Poor girl” The man mumbled walking away leaving bucky confused. He shook it off and knocked again, this time you finally answered. You looked beautiful. You were wearing a tight, red dress showing all of your curves off you hair was straightened and you weren’t wearing any make up - you still looked behind beautiful.

“Bucky....” you said with furrowed brows.

“I texted but there was no reply” He said walking into your apartment and taking off his jacket. He grinned and put his hands on your hips. You were even more confused, did he just forget about last week? What he said to you?

“Did you get dressed up all for me?” He asked you cleared your throat moving back so his hands would fall off you, bucky looked at you with a scowl.

“What’s up?” he asked moving his hands to your cheeks, you remembered how he grabbed you the last time and you flinched. Bucky froze for a second and dropped his arms to his side. Something was obviously wrong.

“I’m going on a date, bucky” You said and buckys world stopped for a second. A date? With who? This can not be happening.

“Whatever we have going on, it’s done. So i don’t know why you’re here” You said walking into your room to finish getting ready, you needed to find your black heels.

You met this guy at work, and you really hit it off. So when he asked for a date, you didn’t hesitate. You were putting you first, like you should’ve been doing all along.

“Done?” Bucky asked following you, you nodded and shrugged your shoulders. “You made it pretty clear last week” You said and bucky sighed rolling his eyes. “So this is about the date?” He said and you didn’t reply.

“It’s about what you said to to me, bucky. You’re selfish and mean. And i deserve better”

Bucky sat down on the end of your bed beside you. He knew what he was doing, you were an easy lay. Bucky hates himself for breaking your heart, god knows he broke his own letting you go and saying those awful words to you. You do deserve better.

“So with that being said, i think it’s time for you to leave”

And this time, it was you kicking bucky out of your bed.

[fighterkimburgess]

This Wasn’t Supposed To Happen Chapter 17 - Too Little Too Late

Summary: Kelly appeals to Sylvie, who tries to stay mostly strong. Series Masterlist Here

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: pregnancy

AN: It’s been a while, but you all know how burnt out I’ve been. This fic is getting finished, and I’m planning on updating weekly on Thursday till it’s done!

Wanna join my taglist?

—

When Sylvie picked Andy up and got home her mind was spinning, confused and anxious about what Kelly returning meant. But apart from that, she was completely hurt by him not telling her.

If he was so determined to tell her he was moving back he could have said it. Yes she’d blown him off at the door, but she was convinced that he wanted to talk about their night together. So she stayed at the condo, playing with Andy and napping when he napped. Her exhaustion was hitting hard, and as she’d learned pregnancy wasn’t a picnic. 

She stared at her abdomen in the mirror, running her hand over the small bump that had appeared. To most it would probably look like she was bloated, but Sylvie knew the truth. It was firm to the touch, Sylvie staring at it in awe. She was actually having this baby. 

When she served Andy his lunch there was a knock on the door. Sylvie had a sneaking suspicion that she knew who it would be, and was proven correct when Kelly was standing there with a bunch of flowers and a toy in his hands.

“Hey, I thought we should talk.”

“Sounds good.”

Sylvie let him in, Andy immediately reaching for Kelly as soon as he saw him.

“Dada! Hiii Dada. Up?” He looked at Sylvie and back to Kelly, shoving a piece of strawberry into his mouth.

“I can feed him while I hold him if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, you can.” It was stilted between them as they sat on the couch opposite each other. Andy was in Kelly’s arms, munching on the food he was handed and snuggled up with his dad. A couple of weeks ago it’d have filled Sylvie with glee, but now it just made her sad. 

Part of her wanted to tell him about their baby but she couldn’t do it yet. He’d walked away so many times before that she couldn’t bear to lose him again. And if he didn’t walk away after finding out about this new child then it’d make her hate him because he’d been able to walk away from Andy.

“I wanted to tell you before your shift that I was moving back. I want to work out how we can work custody of Andy.” 

“When did you decide to move back?” The words came out more harshly than Sylvie intended, but she needed to know.

“When I saw you at the wedding. I’d pretty much planned on it anyway, but seeing you then…you and Andy are my family. I fu-screwed up. Again. But I want to make it right.” He stared over at her and Sylvie shook her head, looking across at him.

“You left. You walked away and left a screaming baby and a crying me in the airport. Why should I believe you won’t do it again?”

It was silent between them after Sylvie spoke, Kelly staring down at Andy until she spoke again.

“Do you believe you won’t do it again?”

“I don’t know.”

It broke Sylvie’s heart to hear, but it helped her to hear it. That knowledge solidified everything in her head, that he didn’t need to know. He could live his life and when she announced she’d tell him it wasn’t his baby. The realisation sat between them like a brick wall. 

“I love you.” His voice cracked on the love, Sylvie looking across at a face filled with pain. 

“It’s too little, too late, Kelly. You left us. That’s not love. You said you couldn’t stay in Chicago anymore. I don’t want Andy thinking you’re going to be here and gone. It’s not fair on him. We can work out visitation, but no overnights for a while. I don’t want him to get attached again.”

“I’m gonna prove myself.”

“I want to believe you. Maybe I’ll be able to in the future. I’ve some stuff to do, you can spend time with him while I do it.”

She sat on the side of her bed, staring at herself in the mirror. Just a week ago she’d have been delighted by this, would have welcomed him back with open arms. But they’d slept together and he’d said nothing. He’d just appeared. And sure she left without saying a word but he had her phone number. He could have gotten in touch with her. Instead of doing the cleaning she should have done she lay in bed with her ears pricked to listen for Andy. It was all quiet, and she actually managed to get some sleep.

The next two shifts passed quietly, Sylvie staying away from Kelly whenever she could. It felt like they were back just after their divorce, desperate to keep apart. The one thing that hurt was that keeping her distance meant she’d stopped talking to the squad guys. She’d been used to sitting with them at the squad table on the app floor, Capp giving her his chair for a nap if she needed it. But now Kelly was constantly at the table and she couldn’t bear to be near him. It was on the couch with Mouch and Pouch, the dog’s head on her lap, or at one of the tables chatting to everyone as she did paperwork. Violet started doing what she could by filling out forms so Sylvie just had to sign in preparation for when she’d be PIC to take over. 

It was one of those afternoons, engine and truck out at a call that Capp came inside to start dinner. But he slid into the seat opposite her, Sylvie glancing up at him.

“Hey, how’re you doing?” She asked, a small smile on her face.

“Good, good. How’s my favourite kid?” 

He had an easy smile, the room empty around them. Sylvie couldn’t help but relax with him there. “He’s good. Talking up a storm, it’s fun to see him growing. You know you can come over to see him, right?

“I know, but still. We miss you around the table, if you want a nap you know you can have my chair.”

“I can’t.” Capp looked at her, Sylvie shaking her head softly. “He left. And then he came back and Andy’s happy so I have to pretend it’s fine, but it’s not. None of it is fine. I can’t trust him anymore. So I need to spend as little time as possible around him. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, I get it. Not fully, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But we miss you. And you know we’ll probably pick you over him if we have to.” It made Sylvie laugh, the first true one she’d had since all of this began.

“Your team needs to be strong. It’s fine, really. We’ll get through it.”

“If you’re sure.” He stood, staring at her closely. “I’m doing burgers for dinner, sound good?”

“Definitely.”

When everyone arrived back they all sat and ate, conversation spreading through the common room. Sylvie realised that her friends had created a buffer between her and Kelly, something that warmed her heart. Violet and Stella sat around her, Mouch and Herrmann starting the Truck crew sitting there then os there was at least four seats between them. She could relax slightly knowing they were there, and even when her stomach roiled and she had to run to the bathroom those who knew about her pregnancy kept it to themselves. 

When the shift was over she caught up to Kelly in the locker room, steeling her nerves. He was surprised to hear her call his name and walk towards her, standing up.

“Syl?”

“I’ve got an appointment. I was going to bring Andy with me but if you want to spend the time with him and I can pick him up later?”

“Are you sure?” His was clearly shocked, jaw slightly agape as it hit him.

“Yeah, if you’ve got the time. I know it’s last minute.”

“No, definitely. Thank you. I can bring him to the lake and then to my place? The weather’s nice, we can have a dad and Andy day.”

“That sounds really nice.” The excitement was clear and Sylvie wanted to blurt out where she was going, ask him to come to her OB. But she had time to tell him what was going on.

“Where are you going? Want a ride?”

“Just the doctor, I’ve got a checkup. It’s all fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“Any time. I’ll text you my address and you can come by after.”

The drive to Med wasn’t long, Sylvie pulling into a parking spot and staring across the lot. Her hand was on her belly, rubbing a slow circle into it.

“It’s you and me, kiddo. You and me. Ready?” The lack of response was expected and she stood out and walked in, a nod to people she knew. It was ignoring the oh too familiar waiting room where they’d gotten the news about Matt, walking down the hallway that led to the NICU but this time hoping that this child of hers wouldn’t have to spend any time in it. She’d spent enough time in there.

When she was called into the scan room she got onto the bed, lifting her shirt up and lying there while the tech did her job. It didn’t take long for the baby to appear on the screen, the head and limbs clear. 

“Here’s your baby, Ms Brett.” A switch was flipped and the noise of her baby’s heartbeat filled the room, Sylvie staring at the rapid movement on the screen.

“That’s normal?”

“Completely normal. We’ve got a strong heartbeat here. Do you want some photos?”

She got the printouts, staring at them in shock. It was real. It was all so, so real and she was having Kelly’s baby and Andy was going to be a big brother. It was scary and worrying, but that sense of peace ran through her. This would be fine. She’d be able to have this baby and look after them and Andy. 

She knew she had to tell Kelly about their child. The coward’s way out would be to insist it wasn’t his child, but she knew better than to do that to herself. He deserved better than that. Their baby deserved better than that. But sitting in the OB’s office she had no idea how to tell him. And she couldn’t tell everyone at work until she told him.

The OB was nice, giving Sylvie all the information she needed about the baby and how things were progressing. She was on track and able to stay on ambo until twenty weeks, but she was to be careful picking Andy up now. It was a trade off she didn’t want to have to make, but she’d do what was needed to keep both her children safe. Leaving the office she got a prescription for prenatal vitamins and a pamphlet on what was and wasn’t safe to eat and do for the rest of her pregnancy. It got stuffed into the bottom of her bag, the sonogram photos carefully zipped into a pocket until she saw Stella and Violet and could share them with them. 

Kelly’s apartment was a one bed, and he welcomed her in with a smile. Andy was on the floor playing with blocks, waving as she came in and sat on the couch. It was quiet between them as they just watched him, the tv on in the background for noise more than anything else. Sylvie’s stomach did the familiar “you have a minute to get to a bathroom” grumble, and she sat up straighter.

“Can I use the restroom?” She asked, Kelly nodding.

“Yeah, it’s through the bedroom. Ignore the mess.”

“I will.” She hurried in, praying to the porcelain god quietly and hoping that Kelly didn’t hear her. The running tap gave her some cover, and she used some mouthwash to make things easier for her. 

Leaving the bathroom she looked around the room, the boxes cluttered in a corner. It was just like Kelly’s room when he lived with Matt and Gabby, dark colours and little decor. But a familiar silver band caught her attention, Sylvie stepping quietly across.

Kelly’s wedding ring was on his nightstand, the silver shining in the dim light. It looked exactly like when they’d bought it nearly two years before rather than something that sat in a drawer for that time. The memories flooded her, and mixed with the pregnancy hormones she could feel tears beginning to prick her eyes. She couldn’t think like this. She couldn’t hold out hope, she couldn’t have a dream. He’d stomped on her heart too many times, and the last thing she could do was give him another chance to do it again. Platonic co-parents. Whatever arrangement they had for Andy would work for this new baby. It had to.

Wiping her eyes before leaving the room Sylvie came out, Andy toddling straight over to her.

“Hiiii Mama!”

“Hi Baby! Did you have fun with Daddy?”

“Dada!” He curled into her, Sylvie inhaling the scent of his shampoo and luxuriating in the tiny chubby arms around her neck.

“We’ve got to go, he needs his nap and I need one too.” Kelly picked up everything, handing the bag over to Sylvie before speaking.

“Your appointment ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Just a checkup so nothing to worry about.” She paused for a moment before looking across at him. “We need to talk. About everything. After next shift can we get breakfast? Cindy can keep Andy a little longer, we can talk about what’s happened and is happening.”

“Yeah, sounds good. We need to clear the air. I’d like that.”

“Me too.” 

She watched as Kelly kissed the top of Andy’s head, the two looking at each other as if they were awkward teenagers. But Sylvie left, strapping Andy into his seat and driving home. She had 72 hours to prepare to tell Kelly Severide he was going to be a dad, and she didn’t even know where to start.

Sylveride taglist: @sylvieecasey @thewannabewriter @andycasey06 @brockreynolds @cynthia1guardia @oracle23 @kellykidd @averyhotchner @dedlund82 @waywardhunter @farfarawaygirl @brookerz122493 @tvshowsaremyhappyplace @smileswithgrace @an93la @withakindheartx @bebataylor84 @angelsjedi @tysonjost-taylorsversion

[ellarrose]

Ella I need you to do a blurb with mason inspired by the movie no strings attached if you have already seen it, love ya ❤️❤️

Ok anon how did you know this is one of my favourite movies

—

Having friends with benefits may seem like the perfect answer to some people, especially when you had a more than attractive best friend than you cared to admit and despite being best friends for as long as you can remember you were still trying to convince yourself that you saw Mason as a brother, and that was it.

Your relationship had changed over the years, going from setting each other up on dates to trying to hide his jealously as you talk about the latest guy that was on the scene, but of course you were both to stubborn to admit your true feelings, tiptoeing around the fact that what you were looking for was right under your nose but of course this tension was easily fixed with a little bit of liquid courage. Although you found yourself in many situations where you were close to showing how you really felt this was different, you both had ditched Ben’s party to spend some time together now both dangerously close on your sofa the familiar rosey glow on your cheeks had appeared as Mason whispered compliments in your ear, while his hand tracing patterns on your thigh was causing you to not think straight, “Mase I’m not looking for a relationship right now” you managed to mutter out but of course you should have predicted his reaction, eyebrows raised at your confession and a cocky smile as if no one had ever denied him before, “But we can have a little bit of fun right?”.

You knew this arrangement would only end up hurting you in the long run and you were quickly beginning to see why so many girls fall head over heals for your best friend. “Stay the night” he whispered into your ear as he held you tightly, the rain pounding against the window as he cuddled into your side making his suggestion sound even more appealing, “I can’t you know we can’t cuddle all night and pretend everything is normal tomorrow” you sigh quickly searching for your clothes that were discarded around his room a few hours ago. “I just want to spend a little bit of time with my friend before she runs off without even looking in my direction” he pleads as you try your hardest not to catch his gaze.

“Don’t make this anymore difficult than it already is” you could hear Mason was hot on your heals as soon as you made your way down stairs, “this doesn’t need to be difficult y/n, I love you and I know you do as well” his words were stab to the heart you couldn’t be with someone like Mason all the media presence around him making you want to run a thousand miles the other way. You knew his type and you were far from a leggy brunette who models for a living. “You don’t love me, this whole thing is just convenient to you please don’t stand here and feed me lies” you knew he couldn’t be with someone like you, he had girls falling at his feet and that’s what scared you.

“Whatever this is it’s over, we both need to move on” we’re the last words you spoke before slamming the door on the man you have loved for as long as you could remember. You knew it was selfish to not take his feelings into consideration but losing your best friend at this stage was worse than him breaking your heart. You knew he would move on it still hurt to see pictures of him out on dates with girls that looked the total opposite to you, just as you predicted. He was everywhere and you just couldn’t escape it, your family asking how his games were going, every time you opened your phone a picture of him would somehow appear.

Being away from him made you realise how in denial you were all along, knowing you had to be the bigger person before you lost your best friend completely, finding yourself at his doorstep trying your hardest not to run away because it was the easiest option but now you wished you had as a girl so beautiful you were nearly in awe of her yourself appeared from behind the door, “oh your mason’s best friend I’ve been dying to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you and wow your even prettier than I imagined” her endless compliments making you at a loss for words as Mason now appeared clearly just as confused as his new girlfriend to why you have appeared on his doorstep. “I just wanted a quick word but I see your busy, I’ll come round another time” you smiled trying to hide the tears that were clearly brewing. “Just send me a message if you need something, like you said it’s time for us to move on, goodnight y/n” were the last words he spoke before shutting the door on your face just like you left him a few weeks ago, now left with nothing all because you were too scared of something that may never happen.

[supernaturalgirl20]

All tied up!

Part two

Pairings: Marcus Pike x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, p in v sex, unprotected sex, Sub/Dom relationship, oral (Male receiving), dirty talk, cursing, Marcus being a love sick puppy.

Summary: Marcus become addicted to you, and submitting to your will.

A/N: the poem is not mine, I found it on Pinterest and loved it. I don’t know who wrote it 🤷‍♀️ If anyone does let me know and I’ll reference them.

{Comments and reblogs really appreciated}

Marcus can feel your hands around his neck, squeezing as he reaches his climax. He’s never come so hard in his entire life, it’s a sensation he now knows he will never be able to live without. It’s been two months since he first came to you and he’s addicted. The feel of your hands on his body, the smell of your skin, the way your nose scrunches slightly when you come. He visits at least four times a week and has quickly become your best client. Marcus looks you straight in the eyes and moves a piece of hair behind your ear.

“You are so beautiful.”

You look down at him and can’t help but lean in and kiss his plump lips. You could feel yourself falling and quite honestly, you didn’t care anymore. Pulling back, “you know you can’t say things like that? It’s crossing a line.” His cheeks flush pink as he avoids eye contact. You place a hand gently on his cheek and turn him to face you. “You don’t need to shy away, I’m very flattered, I just don’t want you to get attached. This is a contract, one that will end eventually.”

“You don’t want to do this anymore?” You smile down at him, leaning in to kiss him.

“I do, look in another life I would love to be with someone like you, but I’m a domme, I have sex with people for a living. No one would want to marry me, and I couldn’t blame them.”

“You don’t want to get married?”

“Oh I do and have babies and a nice home, I just don’t think that’s in the cards for me, that’s all. Hey, you will find someone Marcus, someone beautiful, educated, someone who loves you and wants everything you want. Just give it time.”

He looks up at you, something in his eyes you can’t place, it sends your heart into overdrive. You slowly move off him and untie him from the bed. When you’ve undone the silk ties you move off the bed and put on your robe. Looking over your shoulder you find him pulling on his boxers and you can’t help but stare at his firm ass. You don’t know what comes over you but have an almighty urge to go over and bite it. God he was perfect.

“Can I see you again tomorrow night?”

“Yeah sure, same time?”

“Yeah if that’s ok?”

“Yeah just say it to Jules on the way out.” He walks towards you and wraps and arm around your waist, pulling you close before his lips meet yours in a searing kiss. You we’re slowly become intoxicated by this man and if he hadn’t of had his arm around you, your legs would have gave out.

“See you tomorrow then!”

The next day you arrived to the dungeon with a skip in your step. You walk past Jules on the desk and she waves you over.

“Someone has an admirer.”

“Yeah, who?”

“You, duh.”

“I do?” Jules plops a huge bouquet of roses in the desk, “these are for you. They were delivered first things this morning. Someone’s in love.”

Your cheeks flush as you looked them over, they were beautiful and there was a little note attached.

Y/N,

If I could give you one thing in life, it would be to give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realise how special you are to me.

Yours,

Marcus

“Well what does it say?”

“Huh?”

“The note, what did he say?”

“How’d you know it was a he?”

“Oh come on, it’s obvious it’s from Marcus, that man is in love with you.”

“No he’s not, I mean…”

“Ahh you love him too, don’t you?”

“What? Definitely not.” You had said it too quickly for Jules to believe you, she stood there with a knowing look on her face. You couldn’t handle her looking at you so you grabbed the flowers and went into your room. You bring the roses to your face and smell them. God why do you have to be so sweet! Maybe you are in love with him. You shake your head, get it together. You got ready and waited for your first client. The time comes and goes and he doesn’t show. You head out to Jules only to find Marcus standing there. You eye him suspiciously, “what did you do?”

“Me?”

“Yeah you?” You walk towards him making sure to sway your hips as you go. You lean up and kiss him on the cheek. You whisper, “thank you for the roses.” You pull back and notices his cheeks are flushed. “So?”

“Eh….well I kinda payed for the night.”

“Of course you did.”

You lace your fingers with his and pull him along into your room. You remove his suit jacket and tie.

“You have been a brat Mr. Pike, and you know what I do to brats?” He shakes his head. “I punish them.” You can see the growing erection in his suit pants and and run your hand over it. He lets out a low moan and you pull away. “Strip.”

“What?”

“Are you questioning me Marcus? I said strip, now!”

He quickly removes the remainder of his clothes and stands before you completely naked. You run your hands all over his body and grip his rigid cock tight and pump him a few times before pushing him back against a bondage frame. You tie his hands to the frame with the straps, then you spread his legs and tie them as well.

“You’ve been a very naughty boy Marcus, sending me flowers, saying that I’m beautiful.” You whisper into his ear, “making me fall in love with you.” He’s stunned by your confession.

“Y/N, did you just say what I think you said?”

You move your finger over his mouth. “You don’t get to ask questions. Now for your punishment.” You grab a whip and strike his ass. You whip him a few more times before grabbing your wax play candle and dripping it over his chest and his ass. He lets of a moan that’s half way between pleasure and pain. It’s sends an electric current through you to your core.

“Fuck…”

“Do you need to use your safe word?”

“No! No keep going please.”

You kiss him on the lips and run your tongue along his bottom lip until he opens up for you. Your tongue licks past his lips to the roof of his mouth before it tangles with his. You move away from him, then slowly lower yourself to the floor. You wrap your hand around the base and give him a few pumps. You run your tongue up and down the underside of his cock and he whimpers. You then gently massage his sac with your hands before taking him deep into your throat. You get him right to the edge of oblivion and pull off.

“Ngh….why….why’d you stop….please”

“Naughty boys don’t get to come baby. Are you going to be a good boy more me Marcus?”

“Yes! Yes…please I…”

“Yes who?”

“Yes mistress.”

You untie him from the frame and push him onto the bed. You don’t give him time to figure out what’s going on before you line him up and sink down onto him. You move up and down his length slowly, torturing him. He’s a writhing mess beneath you and he’s desperate for release. You lean down and whisper in his ear, “do you want to fuck me Marcus?”

His eyes shoot open, “yes! Please let me fuck you, I promise I’ll behave.”

“Then fuck me.”

He grabs your hips and flips you over so your back hits the bed. He pounds into you over and over.

“Gonna come….want you….come with me.”

He reaches down between you and rubs circle over your bundle of nerves. You can feel the pleasure rip through you and you scream his name,

“Fuck Marcus.”

That’s all it takes to send him over the edge and he comes deep inside you. He falls on top of you and you run your fingers through his hair.

“That was…..that was amazing. Your amazing.”

You look down to find him already looking at you, and you can’t help but lean into him and kiss him gently.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Mean what?”

“That your in love with me?”

“I….I did. I love you. Which is against every rule of this job.”

He kisses you again, “I love you too. Can I take you out to dinner?” You smile at him, “when?”

“Tonight.”

“Sure, considering you payed for the whole night.” You both laugh. “First, I think you need a nap, I took a lot out of you baby.”

“Okay.” He nuzzles himself into your breast and falls asleep instantly. You gently run your finger through his hair again, “I really do love you Marcus, I don’t know how any women could let you go.”

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Tear You To Pieces, Chapter 9

Kelly shut the curtains as soon as she got into the rather shabby B&B room. But it was the best she could afford in the meantime, she had no idea how long she was going to have to be on the run for, so didn’t want to blow all of her money too quickly.

She’d managed to budget herself to last on the run for around a year. She had to include hair dye into the monthly budget. As even though it had been two months, she had no idea if Loki was still looking for her or not, so she only went out in disguise to be on the safe side.

She was still not over what happened, what was still happening. And she knew it was all her fault, she would never be able to get over it. She had unleashed the monster, literally.

Not bothering to turn the TV on, she just got into bed and tried not to think about it all. The news was always filled with Loki now, and how he was conquering the world. Country after country was flocking to kneel under Loki’s rule. Otherwise, he was slaying every country that dared to defy him. Which soon brought them to heel, before they lost everyone.

Kelly was really jumpy, every noise right outside her room had her entire body going ridged, expecting the worst. It took her heart a while to stop racing after each noise. She knew she couldn’t carry on living like this, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Turning onto her side she curled up and cried herself to sleep, like she did every night. But her sleep was never peaceful, it was always laced with nightmares. Always of him. Most of the time, he was looming over her with her sisters’ body at his feet.

She woke up in a sweat, calling out for her sister. How she wished everything was just a nightmare, but no. She was living a nightmare.

Keeping on the move was her plan, so since she was awake anyway, even though it was only five in the morning, she decided to move on to the next place to stay. She had made it all the way up to Edinburgh by foot mainly but also a couple of bus trips. She just kept moving around from city to city, town to town. Wherever she could get to.

As Kelly made her way down the road, there was just a few people going about at that time of the morning. But she kept getting shivers down her spine, and not from the cold. It was like someone was watching her…

When she looked round over her shoulder, she caught a glimpse of a tall, black-haired man amongst a small crowd of early risers heading to work. Her heart started racing in fear, thinking it was Loki, she quickly moved on and walked as fast as she could. When she glanced back in the direction of the man, there was no sign of him anymore.

She tried to shake it off, thinking it had just been her imagination. Surely if it had been Loki, he would’ve made his presence more known.

But as she made her way further into the centre of the city, she still had a really bad feeling that she was being followed. So she rushed into the bus station and bought a ticket to head further North, maybe if she headed out of the cities and tried the quieter villages, she might be able to stay under the radar better.

Just before she was able to pay for her ticket, there was sudden screaming and panic within the station.

‘What the…’ She looked around in confusion, but then she felt pure dread run through her veins as she saw the reason for the panic and chaos.

Loki.

He had stormed into the station in his regal armour, the biggest grin formed on his face when he locked eyes on Kelly.

‘No…’ She gasped out quietly, her legs suddenly turned to jelly as she tried to run with the others that were panicking.

Loki made his way towards Kelly straight away, with large purposeful strides as he towered above everyone else that was scarpering around him in terror.

She started running for the back exit, but Loki reached out towards her and Kelly suddenly felt as if there was a collar around her neck that was suddenly pulling her backwards towards him. She brought her hands up to her neck but couldn’t feel anything there, but there was definitely something pulling her back.

She panicked and screamed as she was dragged back towards Loki, who had stopped and was just pulling her towards him. When she was within grabbing distance, the invisible collar disappeared and she felt like she could run again.

But she was within striking distance. And Loki struck like a snake, grabbing her he forced her to the nearest wall and pinned her against it, his large dominant hand wrapped around her neck firmly. Her lower lip was trembling in fear as he sneered down at her, she tried clawing at his arm but it was futile.

‘Mmmm, I finally found you.’ Loki hummed low and squeezed her neck a bit harder in warning when she continued trying to struggle.

‘Plea… please… Let me go.’ She stuttered out between trying to take big breaths, his hand controlling her breathing wasn’t making it easy to talk.

‘Oh no, my little pet. You should be begging for my forgiveness, for that little stunt of running away from me. You have no idea how much of an inconvenience it was when I came to collect you, to find you gone. Ungrateful mortal.’ He growled, squeezing her neck again for a few seconds, making her splutter.

He could see the pure fear in her eyes.

‘However.’ He purred, easing up a little on his grip he rubbed his thumb up and down the side of her neck. ‘I wouldn’t be in the position I am now if it hadn’t been for you. And whilst I should punish you for being a naughty girl and disobeying me, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. This time. Because I know you’re my good girl really, aren’t you?’

Kelly closed her eyes and tried to tune him out. But of course, that could never happen.

‘Look at me!’ He demanded and squeezed her neck again, making her eyes fly open.

‘Maybe once I get you home, you’ll be more talkative. And I shall give you your reward, and finally claim what you owe me.’ His eyes darkened and he smirked, then leaned in and kissed her on the lips, despite her trying to move her head away to no avail.

She had no choice but to endure his lips moving against hers, he was surprisingly gentle, yet there was an urgency within him too. A very deep part of her was longing at his kiss, like it was a reminder of what she thought they once had… But she remembered that had all been fake, Loki had used her.

Loki pulled back slightly, licking his lips. ‘Now come, pet. Let me show you your new home.’ He grinned wickedly and released her neck.

But before she could even think about trying to run, a collar formed around her neck. Only this time it wasn’t invisible, she could feel it too with her hands as she tried pulling it off. There was a chain leash attached to it that Loki held, so she was going nowhere.

‘Come on.’ Loki growled and tugged her along as he headed out the main entrance.

When they stepped outside, some civilians that saw Loki started kneeling for him instantly. Some ran away. But Loki didn’t care about any of them, he had what he wanted.

Kelly couldn’t stop shaking and crying as Loki slipped his arm around her waist and held her in close, then teleported them both to the airport where Loki had a jet waiting for them. He hauled Kelly onto it, she wasn’t sure why she was even trying to still get away, she knew there was no chance.

Loki had the leash vanish, but the collar remained. As soon as it was off, she ran as far back in the jet as possible and cowered down in the corner. Loki chuckled and took a seat near the front, looking very pleased with himself.

‘There is a much comfier seat down here for you, pet. It might be a bumpy ride.’ Loki called back to her as the jet started off down the runway.

But Kelly was quite happy where she was, as far away from Loki as she possibly could be between some seats. Though she knew it wouldn’t be for long, the jet was already taking off into the sky. She didn’t know exactly where home was for Loki. She really didn’t want to know.

‘You know, it has been ok since I’ve been ruling your world. Not quite as fun and exciting as I had originally hoped, but I realised it’s been because I’ve been chasing you. Now that I’ve found you, the real fun can begin.’ Loki said casually as he opened a bag of salted nuts.

Kelly shivered at his tone and words, she didn’t want to know what he meant by that.

It only took half an hour to get to their destination. But it had felt more like ten hours for Kelly, with Loki trying to make small talk the whole way there, as if nothing was wrong. As if she was there of her own accord.

‘Isn’t this a delightful sight.’ Loki chuckled, looking out of the window.

Kelly was curious as to where she was. So she slowly moved onto her knees and leaned up on one of the seats to look out the window. Her eyes widened at what she saw.

They were coming to land in New York, but it wasn’t the New York she remembered.

For starters, where The Statue Of Liberty should be, was replaced with a ten times larger statue of Loki himself. Then as they headed into the city, where the Avengers tower used to be, a new tower was built. But it was much larger too, and on the side of it was Loki’s name in bright gold letters.

‘No… No.’ She sobbed and put her hand over her mouth in horror.