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#ok next up I think the end here is very funny
thestarsarecool · 2 years
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Q: Did you listen to Paul McCartney's 'Ram' album?
LENNON: Of course I did. The first time I heard it I thought it was awful, and then the second time, ahem, I fixed the record player a bit and it sounded better. I enjoyed a couple like 'My Dog It's Got Three Legs' or something, and the intro to 'Uncle Albert.' I can't stand the second track from the... well I mean, it doesn't matter anyway. In general I think the other album he did was better in a way. At least there were some songs on it. I don't like all this dribblin' pop-opera jazz. I like pop records that are pop records.
Q: Is there a song on your album 'Imagine' that refers to Paul... lines about a pretty face and the sound of Muzak?
LENNON: (smiling) Er, there's a song which COULD be a statement about Paul. It could be interpreted that way. But then, it could be about an old chick I'd known.
John Lennon in Hit Parader, February 1972
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feyburner · 14 days
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This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.
[Unknown] »
Hey. This is Jason. 
I have a favor to ask. You can say no.
« tim
uh
1. i’m aware of how favors work  
2. what is it?
« tim
?
« tim
hey are you like. good
J »
Yeah fine 
Sry. Rethinking this maybe
« tim
what, do you need a kidney or something?
i can’t give you a kidney.
i don’t have any organs to spare.
J »
What ? 
« tim
what’s the favor?
J »
I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important
I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 
or Kori but shes off world
I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight
« tim
yeah jason i get it lol
J »
So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht
« tim
what >?
J »
We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 
« tim
are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there
J »
So I dont think I can get back t
No its on purpose
« tim
hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  
jason this storm is really bad.
it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina
J »
I dont think I can get back totown toni
Christ you type fast 
Shut up for a sec. Clam down
Clam*
*Calm fuck me
Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.
Can you feed my sourdough starter 
« tim
what
J »
4511 overhill apt 6D 
Key under the neighbors mat. 6H
« tim
hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean
J »
Starter is on counter. in glass jar 
Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 
« tim
on???
J »
On wwhen I get back?
« tim
so you do plan on coming back
J »
Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom
« tim
yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 
J »
Did you
jst say Vader
As in Darth
« tim
??? 
J »
Oh my god
« tim
jason are you in peril or what.
J »
No im not in “peril” lol.
Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter
It needs to be fed
« tim
wtf is a sourdough starter
nvm i googled it
J »
Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 
Oh ok
Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour
Theres a scale next to the jar
Stir until it looks like hummus
Put lid back on
The end
« tim
the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings
J »
Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule
« tim
your bread schedule 
J »
Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else
« tim
im already en route. 
J »
Oh
Ok
Thank you.
Wtf dont text and motorbike  
« tim
how about you dont text and Sinking Boat
J »
Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash
« tim
i was stopped at a red light 😐
anwyay i’m at your place.
1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 
2. how warm is lukewarm
J »
1. I’m the security system
« tim
just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt
J »
God youre annoying
2. ? Its lukewarm
« tim
ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 
J »
Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in
Can you fucking
I TYPE SLOW.
« tim
ok.
[Image Attached]
he is fed
J »
Thanks man.
Sincerely.
« tim
so hows the cargo hold going
still intact i assume? 
J »
Mostly ya
« tim
pardon? 
J »
Slight leakage. Nothing major
« tim
oh? are you a boatologist now? 
i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?
J »
Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.
Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar
Hm.
« tim
did an alarm just start going off
J »
Dont worry about it
« tim
im not. 
did it though
also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase
blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one
« tim
jason?
« tim
if this is a joke it’s not funny
oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.
hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi
« tim
ugh.
*
J »
Hey
Thanks again for the
I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.
But thanks for the backup.
Lmk when youre home
Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.
Night.
« tim
home
J »
Also I just saw your messaages from
Ah. 👍
From earlier. 
« tim
you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 
J »
Those were not my exact words.
« tim
right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 
J »
Shut up
I just wanted to 
You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it
The only one in the family I mean
your family, I mean
The bats.
« tim
the only one who jokes about what
J »
Me being dead
« tim
oh. 
ok. well
its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess
J »
No thats not 
Tim. Shut up.
I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 
Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.
One of many
If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face
the :~{ face
« tim
wow its uncanny
uh. for the record. 
i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it
if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 
 
J »
Yeah well
I just
Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.
Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 
Goodnight.
« tim
oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 
and failed btw :/ 
J »
Tim
Not to be so unchill
But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you
« tim
…got it. sorry
J »
No. don’t apologize to me
Ever
I’m serious 
« tim
like for anything? 
what if i killed breadie mercury 
J »
You didnt. He is thriving
« tim
he is?
wait. really?
you can tell?
J »
[Image Attached]
Hes doubled in size since you fed him.
« tim
whoa
J »
Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.
*that too
Its stupid but hes kinda my son.
« tim
wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons
J »
He is my 10 billion sons.
« tim
lolol
wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 
J »
Right
« tim
jeez
i was so worried about the water temp
google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe
J »
You used a thermometer? 
« tim
your instructions were vague!
i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!
J »
Thanks Tim.
« tim
? you already said that lol
i gotta pass out btw
glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht
that would have been so cringe
night jason
J »
Night
*
J »
You up?
« tim
obviously
why
J »
Could use your eyes on something.
[Image Attached]
« tim
morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD
J »
Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 
Ok jesus christ . 
30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me
Can I hire you? Jesus lol
« tim
that depends. do you pay more than batman?
J »
The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?
« tim
no.
J »
Then yes. I do pay more than batman.
« tim
how much more
J »
One coffee per codebreak? 
« tim
:\
J »
Two coffees per codebreak
Two and a loaf of sourdough
« tim
sourdough from breadie mercury?
J »
Ya
« tim
done
J »
Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards
« tim
i mean i was already gonna do it for free
now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 
im on a roll. nothing but Ws 
J »
Ws?
« tim
its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️
J »
I am barely 3 years older htan you.
It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.
« tim
and yet you text like an old, old man
J »
I do not
Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”
« tim
ROFLCOPTER?
oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god
that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god
J »
Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing
« tim
oh, is it star trek? 
J »
I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose
But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings
« tim
Tumblr media Tumblr media
no i have not.
J »
Hm.
« tim
what
J »
Nothing.
« tim
……….what
*
« tim
did you NARC on me
to BRUCE
about LORD OF THE RINGS?????
J »
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
« tim
WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 
WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?
WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 
J »
I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.
That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.
« tim
its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE
about GOBLINS
J »
I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.
« tim
if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 
im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 
J »
What the fuck
How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 
Not that ithahpened 
What hefuckk ??
« tim
ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!
J »
Why are you?? evil??
« tim
you should have killed me when you had the chance!!
sorry.
J »
Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.
Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part
Brb
« tim
uh
« tim
ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 
« tim
sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia
« tim
ugh.
*
« tim
you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time
luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.
J »
Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?
« tim
oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 
J »
Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 
« tim
yeah? 
J »
Yeah….
« tim
so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 
J »
:-|
« tim
im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker
just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.
think of all the time and energy you’d save me
J »
I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.
« tim
i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app
i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 
J »
Uh
What
« tim
how hot *red hood is. to clarify
in their opinion
the people’s opinion
J »
?
« tim
the people of gotham city
J »
The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol
« tim
wait 
i cant tell if you’re being serious
J »
Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf
Why would they think hes hot 
They dont think Batman is hot 
« tim
o…kay…
huh.
how to… hmm
J »
Like nightwing sure
And the girls. Bc of objectification of women
« tim
oh wow
J »
Red Robin. If i had to guess
But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol
« tim
what kind of response, exactly
J »
You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 
« tim
oh, wow. 
okay. ummm
hmm. one sec.
J »
?
« tim
check your email 
J »
Ok…? 
J »
Oh my fucking god.
« tim
yeah
J »
Oh my god?
« tim
yeah
J »
This document is fucking 45 pages long?
« tim
its everything from the past 30 days yeah
J »
The past
Whaht the fuck
Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.
This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 
« tim
oof are you on page 14
J »
Im on page 3???
« tim
oh my god
J »
What the fuck
Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too
Tim
« tim
its not like this for batman :)
J »
Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.
« tim
its worse :)
J »
Oh what the fuck
Oh my fucking god page 14.
You get this shit TEXTED to you?????
Ohm ygod. You read this?????
« tim
i mean
no
i glance at it
for security purposes.
i dont like, read it read it
anyway did you seriously not know? haha
J »
No??? Again its not like people tell me
« tim
yeah but
like
theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here
yknow
sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 
« tim
sorry
that was in fact awkward!
nvm
just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not
i was mostly joking about the hacking
J (From Work) »
No you weren’t.
« tim
no i wasnt
i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser
anyway im going dark for patrol, later
*
J (From Work) »
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
[Screenshot Attached]
Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 
« tim
oh my god
you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right
J (From Work) »
Figured it was only fair
[Screenshot Attached]
This persons got some mad zoom lens skills
I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you
« tim
wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass
…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 
do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph
J (From Work) »
goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3
Haha
I kinda thought you and blondie broke up
back on again?
« tim
no lol we are very much just friends
she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going
anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 
its a whole genre
they’re like trading cards
J (From Work) »
Guess everyone’s got a hobby?
« tim
the only rule is no nightwing
J (From Work) »
Do I want to know why
« tim
he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots
so its too easy
you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 
← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 
anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.
J (From Work) »
A vote between you and Steph? 
You lost a 50/50 vote?
« tim
i dont wanna talk about it.
J (From Work) »
Right. 
So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.
« tim
no
J (From Work) »
No?
« tim
well
J (From Work) »
Yeah?
« tim
we don’t like, save them
that would be weird
we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 
and keep an ongoing points tally
thats all
so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you
J (From Work) »
How many points is my ass worth
« tim
i hate everything about this conversation
J (From Work) »
Its 100% your own fault, answer the question
« tim
if you must know. 
points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.
J (From Work) »
Uh huh. Like what
« tim
technical excellence
composition. lighting and color balance. 
dynamism 
J (From Work) »
Dynamism…
« tim
creativity
umm
emotional impact
and 
subject matter
J (From Work) »
I see.
« tim
ok i know it sounds bad
J (From Work) »
It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 
« tim
but if you think abou
oh
okay, well, great
J (From Work) »
I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 
Or is that cheating
« tim
its totally cheating
please do
J (From Work) »
You got it red. 👍
« tim
:)
760 notes · View notes
teddybeartoji · 18 days
Text
toji is a cat dad. the cat looks so fucking tiny next to him that it's a little comical actually. they spend every morning together – the cat twirls around and between his legs as he's grabbing the food, quietly meowing and purring. toji smiles softly to himself at the little thing's neediness. so cute.
the cat also just loves to follow toji around the apartment. always. he goes to the bathroom? the cat goes to the bathroom. he's cooking in the kitchen? the cat is in the kitchen. he's asleep in the bed? the cat is in the bed. (big man toji stomping around the house with the smallest cat in the world running after him.......... guys i'm melting i'm dying)
ok but he was a little weirded out by the cat's need to be in the bathroom with him lmao. like he's taking a piss and he looks over his shoulder only to find the little kitten just staring up at him with big eyes😭😭😭 toji grumbles under his breath and tries to ignore him but then he ends up looking over his shoulder again, hoping that he left but no. he's still there. sitting like :3 😭😭😭😭
"yer fuckin' weird..." is what toji tells him as he places the cat on the bathroom counter and he just gets a cute meow back as a reply. the cat watches him brush his teeth and toji has to fight the thing because he's now in the sink????? toji needs to spit out the toothpaste but the critter is getting comfortable in the bowl and he actually feels bad abt pushing him away... wahh he's so soft actually guys i can't do this anymore.
if the cat happens to be a big meower, toji's definitely talking back to him. he literally goes "what're ya yappin' about, lil man? 🤨🤨" while looking at the tiny creature. but he loves it, he thinks it's so funny. he picks the little guy up and just stares at him up close O.O (plss the cat is literally like the size of his palm i'm dying it's so cute).
he also likes to carry the cat on his shoulder. i think every cat would actually love toji so much, this is also canon here you cannot argue with me. and i think they'd all find him very comforting? and i think they'd love to sleep on him. so whenever he's cooking and the cat paws at his legs, he just picks him up and places him on his shoulder.
he once did that when shiu was over and he was just ????????? like man what are you doing put the damn cat down ????????? and toji just went. "no. he wants to see." with a blank face. to him it's very obvious. c'mon, the cat is so little, he has no idea what's happening up here, ofc he wants to see??????? smh shiu do better😒😒😒
oh and this was definitely just a stray cat he took in btw. after a long day at work, he was just walking home with a cig between his lips when he heard the teeeniest tiniest little meow coming from behind the dumpster in an alley. and well... the curiosity got the best of him and he went to check it out aaand lo and behold!!!!!!! itty bitty kitty!!!!
big eyes peering up at him behind a thrash bag, he just knew he couldn't leave the poor thing there. he reached out his hand, letting the kitty smell him and he almost dropped his cig when he actually leaned into his touch immediately!!!! that's his baby now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he held the cat to his chest as he made his way home and he even stopped by a little corner store to buy him something to eat. the cashier did look at him with a raised brow bc what the fuck this massive man is holding the smallest cat in the world, but toji didn't mind. he didn't care. the cat slept on his back that very same night.
ALSO. thank u @kentophilia for putting this idea in my head ily<33 during the late hours of the day, toji lays in bed while reading his book with his glasses on – the cat stands on his chest with a determined face. he's already purring even though toji hasn't even done anything. he's just soo comforting and the cat just loves him soooo much okay:((((( toji lowers his book to look at the thing before scratching the top of his head and smiling to himself when the cat closes his eyes and purrs even louder.
the cat ends up trying to make biscuits on him and that makes toji yelp lmao. the tiny little claws dig into his warm skin as the he kneads toji like he's a piece of dough. purring and content – toji doesn't have it in him to make him stop either. it's not like it actually hurts, he was just caught off-guard. he didn't get scared by a cat btw, he didn't. in the end, he keeps reading his book with his one hand while petting the creature with the other. this is their routine. they're family!!!!!!!
anyway. he loves his little kitty cat with all his heart and he would literally kill for him:33333
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strawberry-cowmilk · 8 months
Text
the brothers when they realise mc will die one day
-> brothers x mc
a/n: it's been a good minute since I wrote actual ultimate painful angst so here you go while I wait for my hot makeup sponge soap soup to help me clean the things
mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read
content warnings: angst, death, crying, sports injury
-----
Lucifer
he was peacefully listening to a new record he got with you next to him
lucifer was a great fan of this certain composer so he started to talk a little about the music and the meaning behind it
'the composer wrote this piece for their deceased partner-' he suddenly went quiet once he realised he will be like the composer one day
you had already fallen asleep to hear what he said, lucifer carefully pressed you close, afraid of waking you up and afraid of the day you'll leave him
Mammon
mammon was very bored since lucifer took away his card as a punishment, so he decided to watch tv
he was just browsing the channels and ended up watching the news
mammon was already upset about not having his card, and all the depressing stuff on the news made him more sad, and one certain report hit him with the reality that humans die way before demons
tears stung at his eyes as he instantly called you, asking where you are and if you're willing to cuddle him
Leviathan
he got a new game off of akuzon and you're playing it together
it just happens that you're absolutely terrible at this game so you keep dying every two minutes
it was funny at first, you and levi were laughing about it until he suddenly went quiet and started crying
before you could ask him what happened he hugged you and started begging you to not die for real
it took some while for him to calm down a little, you're his (only) friend, how will he live without you?
Satan
he was working on a group rad project with solomon, eventually he started talking about how he accidentally made himself immortal
eventually satan demanded to know how he did it, and he was pretty angrily asking too, during the conversation he realised you are not immortal (unlike solomon)
the prof literally had to separate them because satan was getting too angry
satan wasted no time, he went to look for you so he can spend time with you and forget his awful thoughts
Asmodeus
there was some fashion week event in the devildom and some high fashion brand asked asmo to model for them (he accepted)
but on the day of the event, it got cancelled
asmo was not pleased with this, but you told him it's ok and you can watch him on the catwalk next time he gets invited, but the thing is that probably won't be until another 500 years-
he realised there's a very good chance you won't be alive for the next time, he cried and clung to you, denying reality
Beelzebub
beel was playing the finals of his fangol game and things were getting very serious, there were players getting tackled left and right pretty badly
his mind started to drift away from the game for a while, and remembered that time you asked him to play with you
but if you, a human, were on this field, you'd probably get badly injured, or worse
the coach had to get a time out because the team's got beel literally crying his eyes out on the bench
the team won, but beel is not in the mood for celebrating
Belphegor
it just randomly hit him
he was looking at the stars next to you in the planetarium and something about the stars today made him think about everything, and eventually the fact that humans don't live long compared to demons
he turned to you, said something along the lines of 'don't go' and curled up against you, falling asleep
belphie needed to give himself a good dream right now otherwise he feels like he won't be able to handle it now
2K notes · View notes
luveline · 5 months
Note
hey! would you mind writing sirius black x reader (ole flame or something) when they meet for the first time since azkaban at a meeting for the order? thank you and happy holidays!
thank u for requesting, hope this is OK! ♡
—you and sirius both get to go home eventually, 2.2k. fem
You were still kids when Sirius… went away. You thought he hurt James and Lily, and it didn't matter that you loved him because he was evil and cruel and he hurt the people he loved most in the world, and then you were outposted thousands of miles eastward, your life a shadow. 
Remus sent you letters. You always answered, even when it hurt, but his last was too much to believe. You told yourself that someone forged his handwriting through a curse or some new gimmick, and then a second arrived with a smaller envelope hidden inside. 
No name written on it. No Dear anything to begin. 
Things are different to what you've been told. Please come home, it said. This penmanship was shaken like a hand out of practice, but something felt familiar in the curves and dots. 
If Remus’ letter (and the second smaller one too) were in fact telling the truth, it means you did something awful, and so, for a while, you don't go. 
Please, the next letter says, again enclosed within a larger explanation from Remus, I'm sorry. I just want to see you again. 
Getting home isn't as simple as he might think. You have to picture the destination very clearly to disapparate, and you have no sustained recollection anymore of the places you used to go. You remember silly things, slices of memories; the four of them laughing in a big green field, the sweet smell of hair oil to your left; the beige walls of a rented flat where you'd lay in bed for hours, sometimes days at a time, before things got too terrible to sleep; a string-lit garden that last summer, hands of poker on a glass table. These places aren't real anymore. You can't go back to them. 
Upon your request, Molly forwards you an address and a secret code. 
Trains, buses, trains again. A long walk through a cold street. Some secret this or that. You arrive in the night and a frowning face ushers you in, past a painting sealed away and up the creaking stairs. You spend hours sitting on the end of a bed coated in dust waiting for the sun to rise, your back stiff with nerves. You could slip out before anyone else knows you're here, it's not as if Moody would give you away. But why did you come, if you were going to run straight back to your outpost? 
You don't want Sirius’ betrayal to be true, of course. It took your breath away imagining what it would mean if he hadn't done what you thought. If it's all lies (as it seems to be), if he's innocent as he and Remus claim, it means you turned your back on him and left him to suffer, and he's still asking you to come home. 
A few people stir for breakfast. Molly, who's voice you remember, and some younger sounding ones that may be her children, or perhaps the newer Order recruits. Then comes Remus’ voice. He sounds different. Less Welsh, more tired. Homely anyways as he passes your door with someone beside him. 
“...any day now,” he's saying, “try not to worry.” 
“I do worry. I've worried about it every day for years.” 
You freeze up. 
The stairs creak, Remus’ voice moving further away. “She doesn't need worrying.” 
Sirius must stay at the top of the stairs for a moment. He sounds close. “I wouldn't know what she needs.” 
“Come have some breakfast.” 
“I'll write her again.” 
“After breakfast.” 
“What if she doesn't come?” 
“After breakfast,” Remus insists. “She can ignore you once we've had toast.” 
“I forgot how funny you are,” Sirius mutters. 
Hearing his voice fills you with doubt. He sounds nothing like he used to, no easy confidence to be heard, just fatigue. 
You look down at your hands. Hearing his voice has a new emotion sprouting, too. When you first learned what had happened to your friends, you felt anger like a knife everywhere you went. How could he do that to them? How could he do it to you, be that person, ruin everything you'd loved and made together? But later, when anger faded and grief ached, you'd missed the Sirius you loved. Shamefully, in longing pangs, you'd toss and turn to dreams where things were different. 
Now there's a chance he might still be that person, and you're hiding from him in his own house. 
“There's someone here,” Molly says as you leave your room, her voice nearly too quiet to hear from the kitchen. “Moody's told me this morning.” 
“What?” Arthur asks. 
“Who?” a younger voice says. 
A small intermission of quiet. “Well, I don't know,” Molly says eventually, though she must have guessed it was you from the letter you sent. “But I'll need another loaf of bread. You'd better go, boys.” 
“Mum,” one whines. 
“Come on now.” 
The stairs whimper as you descend, the bannister sticky with old gloss under your hand. Paisley wallpaper and drapes catch your eye as you pass the overflowing shoe rack. There must be more people here than you'd thought. The coat stand is similarly overloaded. 
You can see into the kitchen as soon as you take the last step down. Molly stands wringing a dish cloth between her hands, two teenage boys at the kitchen table. Remus stands near her right with a cup of tea, and when he sees you, he genuinely smiles. 
“Oh, good,” he says, the scar that bisects his lip pulling as he takes a sip of tea. 
The teenagers turn to see you. “Bread, boys! Arthur, you can go with them," Molly says.
Arthur doesn't complain. You falter in the hallway, quiet as the trio of Weasley's leave the kitchen in their slippers to take a quiet exit from the front door. They smile politely as they go, but the boys whisper as the door shuts behind them. You wonder if they have an inkling of who you are, and then you wonder what you might say now they're gone. 
Molly remains, inquisitive to know that you need privacy but also the security of her company. She was always smart like that.
“Come in, then,” Remus says. 
“I–” You clear your throat. “I'm not sure I should.” 
A startle of silverware against china. 
Remus gives you one of his looks. It has tears threatening to well. Why didn't I fight to see him more? you think. Suddenly years have passed and he's changed, but his reassuring glances remain. It's like he's saying everything is fine, why wouldn't everything be fine? Chin up, dove.
Sirius appears in the doorway. Dark circles beneath grey eyes, his cheeks gaunt with hunger rather than the sleek sharpness he once possessed. He's still pretty, if wounded. It's as though you've found an old photo of him that's been smudged with age. He's stepped out of one of your moulding albums to haunt you. 
“Angel,” he breathes, his hand clasped low on the doorway, “you're here.” 
You look past him to Molly and Remus. There isn't a reality nor dimension where they'd let him stay here if they didn't believe his innocence. Remus explained it all in the letter and still you worried if he might have gotten it wrong, and simply believed what he wanted to believe, but it's not possible. Remus loved James so much, he would've killed Sirius himself if he really thought Sirius was the secret keeper who betrayed them. 
So. It's a relief to be home. 
You stare at him. “You look tired,” you say quietly. 
“I'm fine. I am.” 
He seems alright, considering. You'd even say he was handsome with his hair pushed away from his face, a dark shadow of stubble around his mouth, but he looks exhausted.  
You're expecting him to say what you'd say. How could you ever think I'd do it? 
Sirius was prone to similar bouts of pride, or righteousness, justice, whatever you want to call it, but he doesn't bother with that now. He looks at you as though you're the only person on earth, gaze narrowed but eyes wide, pain between his brows as he asks, “What's wrong?” 
Your hand finches up to your cheek to wipe the sudden tear away. “I thought I'd never see you again.” Your Sirius. 
“Don't be upset,” he pleads. 
“How can I not be? I left you all alone for so long.” 
He laughs roughly. “Sweetheart, what were you supposed to do?” 
“Not just give up.” 
“You thought it was me. That's the only thing you could've done. Either of you,” he says, gesturing backward with his hand. “It was hard… to know who to trust, at the end. It's not your fault.” 
You really were only kids together, not half as in love as James and Lily, but that doesn't mean you weren't mad for each other. He looked after you. You would've had a life, you think. 
“You were just gone,” you say, looking down at the floor between you, eyes tracing lines of wood grain. “Everyone. There was nobody left. And I just let you go.” 
“Do you want to come here?” he asks. You lift your head. His hand is barely in front of him, fingers open, palm up. 
It's like taking a stranger's hand for the first few seconds. You keep them low between you both, unfamiliar to each other. But, you find, as his fingers wrap around yours in that selfish way they used to do, squeezing rather than intertwining to make all of them fit, he remembers you.
You step a little closer, your arm to his chest, and look up at him through your lashes. It would melt him like a candle near a furnace, this look. He'd be smug or seething about something and you'd sidle in to stand between his shoes, unsure of what to say but determined to be there for him. It's the same now.  
“What's wrong?” he asks under his breath. 
“I left you all alone,” you repeat. 
“It wasn't your choice, okay?” He smooths his free hand from your elbow to your upper arm. 
Molly says something to Remus. He chuckles and says something in return. Happier to admit it if it's only for Sirius’ ears, you say, “I'm really sorry, Sirius. I miss you every day.” 
“I miss you too,” he says. 
You push your arms around his waist and hide your face in his chest, feeling for the lines of who he used to be, the dip of his spine in his back or the soft cotton of one of his old t-shirts. You regret hugging him at all, until he puts his arm behind your head, a shaky breath released against your crown. 
I'm scared, he'd said. But I don't want you to be scared, okay? Barely twenty, he smelled of the sticky red powder on the end of matches after a night doing things he couldn't tell you about. You could tell him you loved him, and he you, but you weren't to discuss Order business. We'll be okay. 
But Lily–
Everyone's going to be fine. I promise. 
“You promised,” you say to yourself. Too quiet for him to hear, but he does. 
“I promised you so many things I'm not sure what one you mean,” he says with a disappointed laugh. 
You pull away, taking his face into two hands. “How do you feel?” you ask, ignoring the tremble working up from your wrists. 
“What?” His eyes are dark. 
“How are you? Did they– I mean, are you okay? Are you sick?” 
“Remus has patched me up. And Cordelia, the medwitch, you know her?” 
“I don't know anyone. I've been away.” 
He nods sadly. “Yeah. Well, you look the same.” 
“I don't.” 
“You do! You look the same,” —he almost sounds happy, his lips curling into a smile— “sweetheart. Sweetheart–” He closes his eyes. 
You push his hair behind his ears. “You don't look the same,” you confess, “you have wrinkles, right… here.” You touch the corners of his eyes. 
“You're still beautiful.” 
“Mm. You can't even see me.” 
“I don't need to see you. I knew you would be.” 
You rise up to kiss his cheek gently. “It's like you're back, like– like, I always felt like you were gone. And now you're home again. You are home, aren't you?” 
He covers your hand with one of his. “You're here, so–” 
You laugh together nervously. “Yeah, I'm here.” 
“I have stuff to do to make it right.” 
“Then we'll do it.” 
“Okay,” he says. He swallows a breath, and wraps you in a surprisingly tight hug. “Did you read my letters?” 
I don't want anything from you. Just to see you're okay. 
“I read them. I'm okay. Don't I look okay?” 
“You look perfect. Just like the last time I saw you,” he says. It startles you how suddenly he sounds like he did when you were young, his flirting drawl, voice velveteen. 
“Not like that,” you laugh. 
He pulls you as close as you can be, rough now, his arms solid around you. “I missed that,” he says, rubbing your back. “I forgot how you sound when you laugh.” 
You've led very different lives. “I didn't forget yours.” 
“You wouldn't. You love having things to hold against me.” 
You stroke his hair. “Maybe a little.” 
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beelmons · 10 months
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I have a filthy idea and I love your blog sorry
Hotch x reader x Early seasons!Spencer (or really any older BAU with reader and Spencer, someone has to show him the ropes, right?😩)
Reader is bound and blindfolded. Hotch is trailing a popsicle over reader's skin, showing Spencer where they are most sensitive and Spencer licks the trail of sticky syrup left behind. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️(lord have mercy I'm a whore)
A/N: Ok so, i really got into this idea and i ended up doing WAY too much and i'm sorry it's so late but i got too excited. anyways, have this monstruosity.
A different kind of teacher
cw: sensory deprivation (hand binding, blindfold, noise-cancelling headphones), threesome, temprature play (use of frozen goods), fellatio, fem!reader, implied polyamory i guess
word count: 1,996 (on accident)
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"I don't think that's—" Spencer tried to interrupt when his boss's actions got questionable.
"It's alright." Hotch answered as he gently tied the blindfold behind your head "She's done this before. I told you, if you’re going to learn how to please her, you’re going to do it my way."
"But that's—" he tried to argue again.
"Reid." Aaron said commandingly.
Their bickering was rather amusing, really. Everything about this situation was. A love-struck puppy, namely Spencer, that had found  out you were having an affair, for a lack of a better word, with your boss. Who was later given the odd offer to join in, one that he barely comprehended the dynamic of. The one he ended up accepting because having half of you was better than having none.
The situation in question was no other than your bare body binded to a sex sofa, yes, the one with a funny oval-like shape, in the middle of a street motel. Mind you, a high category one, courtesy of a very spoiling unit chief. Hands tied behind the furniture, a blindfold securely tied against your eyes, and a pair of sound-canceling headphones that would be eventually put on you. 
“I don’t think I can do this.” the younger man confessed. 
His superior shot him a glare, and his finger raised to press against his own lips, indicating the other to keep quiet. He then proceeded to place the aforementioned gadget against your ears to muffle the sounds. 
“You can’t let your nerves overtake you.” Aaron began to talk, walking closer to the chair where Spencer was sitting “Otherwise, you won’t enjoy yourself. And believe me, she wants you to have as much fun as she does.” 
“I just have never done something remotely similar.” he admitted. 
“And that’s okay, that’s why I’m here to guide you.” Hotch patted him on the shoulder, prompting him to stand up, to which Reid complied. 
As the older man directed himself to the cooler, included with the room by the way, Spencer stood awkwardly next to where you were laying. Regardless of his statements about the situation, the twitching of his dick as he watched you breathing, rather heavily, blissfully ignorant of the sinful deeds they were about to do to you, was giving away just how much into it he was. 
“You should learn to use your tongue first.” the boss interrupted his train of thought “We’re going to do a little exercise, okay? I’ll trail this over her skin, her most sensitive spots. Clean her up. You have to be thorough, she doesn’t like feeling sticky.” 
You were absolutely deprived of such supportive conversation, or anything else for that matter. It was exciting in and on itself to be expectant of what would happen next, along with no indication whatsoever of what that would be. Two, insanely hot, men having you at their entire disposal was certainly arousing. 
Such anticipation caused you to moan rather loudly when you felt a cold object hit the side of your neck, slowly melting down towards the base, the feeling only lasted a couple of seconds since it was shortly after contrasted with the warm sensation of what you figured was a tongue following the strip. 
It was quick. It left your skin as soon as it came.
The lack of attention, though, would not last long. You felt a new sting of coldness, only this time it was right over your breast; instead of dripping down, the same tool, whatever it was, moved downwards until it reached your nipple. You could feel it going slightly numb from the temperature, it was making your stomach tighten. Again, you felt it part and something a lot hotter took its place. This time, you could easily tell who was taking advantage of your breasts by the bony structure of the fingers. 
Spencer was ravishing on the sweet taste of the icicle mixed with the salty notes of your sweat. His tongue was eager and clumsy, but pleasurable nonetheless, his fingers gentle and attentive to the sides of the skin, holding back to not let his animalistic side just come out. 
“That’s good.” Hotch praised the young man “It’s all about not knowing what to expect. About surprising her with sudden pleasure.” 
Back in your deprived state, you were simply squirming with delight at how your chest was being treated, mouth slightly agape to allow soft sounds of pleasure to escape. The gap was tempting for one of the men, still unknown to you, to defile, and suddenly you felt something land over your lips. You recognized the mixture of freezing water and sugar, and your tongue instinctively darted out to take a lick. 
The treat instead began to lewdly penetrate your mouth, simulating a fellatio, and the length of it would teasingly near the back of your throat each time. 
The icicle departed promptly, leaving your lips parted and tingly from the coldness, expectant to be inserted again. Instead, the temperature of the new foreign object was the complete opposite, its structure soft to an extent, and salty in flavor. It didn't take you long to notice it was no longer the sugary dessert, but one of your partners' cock.
"Go slow at first, it takes her a second to get used to it." Hotch dragged a hand behind your head, pushing forward gently so you could get more of his shaft into your mouth “But she can take it very well.” 
His fingers trailed over your scalp lovingly. His moans were translated in heavy, airy exhales through his nose. He was obviously playing tough for Spencer, no matter how much your mouth actually disarranged him on the daily. He thrusted a couple more times, until he was fully hard, before he pulled out. 
He made a signal with his hand to indicate the younger to take over, and Reid swallowed back a knot of nervousness. He awkwardly cupped your head between his palms and allowed his tip to testingly land on your tongue. He shuddered with pleasure as your lips hungrily wrapped around it, hollowing your cheeks almost immediately. 
You could tell the member had changed simply by the shape. Leaner girth, more swollen head, and an almost desperate way of moving. He started doubtfully at first, and later his pace began to pick up. His grip on your head was tight, making you unable to move away, and with every push he would reach deeper into your mouth, and the pulsations on his veins would also have a stronger beat. 
Spencer was losing it, mouth parted open, head thrown back, desperate whines spilling from his throat. His inexperience was his biggest enemy, because he didn’t last much inside of you. When he started to feel his orgasm coming, he decided to pull away. His fist curled around his shaft, pumping the base at a rapid speed, his tip pointing to his own stomach, since, to him, coming inside your mouth seemed dirty, almost too humiliating. 
Hotch stared with amusement at how respectful he was being, rookie mistake, he figured. Too overwhelmed with his own pleasure, Spencer had his eyes fully shut, and became absolutely unaware of the second Aaron gently placed his fingers over the moving hand, pushing it down to aim the tip towards your mouth. 
You simply waited for the inevitable, the white strings landing on your tongue, salty and thick, and a lot more than you had expected. When you were sure no more would come out, you attempted to swallow, but before you could close your mouth a thumb invaded it, keeping it open. 
“Watch this magic trick.” Aaron showed Spencer the evidence of his release before shutting your mouth again. 
You took the hint and swallowed, immediately opening your mouth once again to show no trace of the substance left. 
Spencer had to bring a hand to his face to hide his blush, although his again half-hard dick gave him away. 
“That’s actually really hot.” he said shyly, brows furrowed in embarrassment. 
“It is.” Hotch smiled in his direction “Now that you’ve come, it’s just natural to return the favor, don’t you agree?” 
The older man directed himself again to the cooler, taking now a single ice cube that he held with a piece of clothing to avoid getting frostbite. 
“Your training isn’t over yet.” he told Spencer once he was back to your side “Next, let’s get you a real challenge. If one drop of this cube gets on the sofa, you don’t get to touch her the rest of the night.” 
“W-What? Isn’t that a bit harsh?” he complained. 
“If you make her cum before it fully melts,” Hotch ignored the protest “You can fuck her first.” 
Again, your senses were too limited to hear their bet being formed. During their exchanges you just waited patiently, eager to know what would come next. Every once in a while, when the cool air hit you, you tensed up expecting something to happen, and even when it didn’t you just got more excited. 
At last, another sting of coldness hit your skin, this time it was further to the south, just above your clit. You could feel the object slowly melting, the lack of heat spreading to your bundle of nerves, your labia, and almost to your entrance. It was mildly uncomfortable, but exciting nonetheless. 
Out of a sudden, you felt a muscle enter you. You bolted in ecstasy due to finally getting much needed friction on your lower body. It trailed up, slowly and steady, until it reached the top. The lips rounded your sensitive nub, and you could feel them suck on it. The sensation was overwhelming, making you twist over the sofa, shameless erotic moans filling up the room. 
The water kept making its way down your sex, and the tongue diligently prevented it from reaching all the way to the leather, driving you insane with each lap at it. Your hands struggled against the binds that tied you down. You wanted nothing more than to hold his head down and bury it against you, to have him flush against your entrance, just licking you over and over again. 
A hand landed on your head, indicating that you should keep your movements to yourself. The commanding ambience just added to your stimulation, the mouth down your body sucking the neverending stream of water as if trying to lick it dry. Your thighs attempted to close around his head, and you were finally able to grind against him. For some reason, that did it for you, and you allowed your climax to reach you, and your fluids to come out. 
“Impressive.” Hotch praised as he removed the ice cube from your body. 
Spencer, however, did not stop, his tongue moving ruthlessly against your entrance, absolutely drunk on your taste. Aaron could see you squirm uncomfortably, being pushed to a point of overstimulation, hands restlessly clinging onto nothing in an attempt to release the slight pain on your abused clit. 
“Reid.” he called trying to make him stop; the younger man, however, was entranced by your pussy, and did not react to the mention of his name. Hotch was forced to step closer, tangle his fingers on the blond’s hair, and pull his head back by tugging on his locks, forcing him away from you “Behave. There’s plenty of time for more later.” 
He spoke so sternly that it sent shivers down Spencer’s spine, almost as he did during work cases. He nodded with compliance and straightened himself again. 
“Sorry.” Reid ashamedly said. 
“It’s alright. I know how addicting it can be.” while talking, he rummaged through a go-bag he had brought earlier into the room. “Now,” he tossed a condom towards Spencer “Get ready for lesson number two.”
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puppy-steve · 6 months
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i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)
the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.
they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.
until they both start going on dates with him and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.
only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.
they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.
she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.
there's a knock on her room door and another text.
r u ok? can i come in?
robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.
she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.
steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."
and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.
steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.
robin would like that.
she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.
it's the best robin's ever been on.
eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.
hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.
eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.
he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."
eddie's flabbergasted.
steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.
he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.
this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.
the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.
the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.
when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.
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skamenglishsubs · 1 month
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Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 3, Episode 6
Out here in the real world it's been a week since the cliffhanger ending of episode 5 where Simon broke up with Wilhelm, but in-universe it's just the next day, and Wilhelm is being comforted by Felice.
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Subtext: This entire episode is incredibly meta, there are so many times characters say things that reference earlier seasons or episodes, or the entire series as a whole. This is the first time, and Felice is saying what we're all thinking. IS IT REALLY OVER?!? 😱
Blink and you miss it: Felice gives Wilhelm her sunglasses and dries his tears so he can hide the fact that he's been crying. Also, look at that gorgeous Swedish summer. It is so pretty.
Culture: The third-years are painting the banners that go on the trucks on graduation day.
Culture: They're also signing each others' student hats, which is a common tradition. You can just sign your name or write something funny or do whatever.
Culture: This car is what we in Sweden call a sossecontainer. It's an old 90's Volvo, it's square, it's ugly, and it was pretty cheap and reliable, so it was very common and popular among working class and the lower middle classes. It was never a high-status car, so it perfectly illustrates the Eriksson family.
Subtext: Oh look, another throwback to season 1 when Sara argued with Simon about their dad, and said that he should stop giving people second chances.
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Culture: Oh look, another poem by Karin Boye. This time it's Eternity, a poem about cherishing your time with your loved one, and the text is about how good times feel like an endless summer, which is what it certainly looks like for the kids and their teacher in the lush landscape. But just like in the poem, their endless summer is about to end.
Culture: This is pretty much exactly the reason used when real-world Lundsberg was temporarily closed.
Culture: And Wilhelm isn't wrong, the shitty traditions are in the walls of the place, it's always been like that, and it's always been upheld by everyone involved with the school, parents, teachers, staff, and students.
Subtext: Since this is the last episode, let's prepare the viewers to say good bye to the show, and let's do it with a little montage of students crying and taking their stuff down and emptying their rooms.
Culture: This is a 100% factually true statement, Göteborg is the worst city in the world. Source: I'm a native Stockholmer, and you just have to trust me on this, ok? Look, it's just common sense, alright? Don't listen to people from Göteborg, they're just jealous they're not living in the glorious capital. Also, they talk funny. And they have no sense of humour! And everyone is named Glenn or something.
Culture: I don't think they're referencing an actual school here, and the current Norwegian royal children went to school in Norway, not Switzerland. But the current Danish crown prince went to some boarding school in Switzerland for a while, but then he went to the Danish elite boarding school Herlufsholm. However, it was rocked by a bullying scandal in 2022, so they had to pull him out of that one and deny all knowledge of the events. Feels familiar?
Culture: Solliden is the private summer palace of the real-world Swedish royal family located on Öland, an island off the south-east coast of Sweden. The show has consistently stayed away from every likeness with the real world, but I guess they couldn't be arsed making up a fictional summer palace for the YR royal family so they went with something familiar.
Subtext: Farima is talking about the problems of finding a new school for Wilhelm from an academic perspective, but he's just thinking about how this means he won't be close to Simon any longer.
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Culture: Vincent and the boys are pouring one out for Hillerska. It's a way to toast a dead friend, or in this case, a place.
Blink and you miss it: August places a king chess piece on the table before telling his friends that he's Wilhelm's reserve and might be king someday.
Subtext: And he's still so blinded by the glamour of it, despite everything. Thankfully, his friends can bring him down a couple of pegs.
Blink and you miss it: While Wilhelm is returning Kris, the book from last season, the second book in the pile is a book by Kjell Westö, Den Svavelgula Himlen - Yellow Sulphur Sky. It's about a working class kid in Finland becoming friends with his upper-class neighbour family, and his struggle maintaining a relationship with the girl of the family because of their class differences. Slightly on the nose there, show.
Meta: Henry interrupting our boys at the worst possible time is just a running joke at this point. How many times has it happened now? Four times? Five? Read the fucking room, Henry!
Subtext: Last chance to have a party together, but also last chance to see Simon, "maybe ever". Oh no, we have to start preparing for a sad ending!
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Culture: Red solo cups are not a thing anywhere outside the US really, but you can buy them as a gag gift in Sweden, because to us they're just a weird movie prop we've seen American movies. Every other party scene in the show has featured regular plastic cups.
Culture: Drinking with the teachers?!? Yeah, sure, why not, everyone is an adult.
Subtext: Emo outfit? ✅ Sitting on the floor? ✅ Full of self-pity? ✅ Exaggerating the catastrophic state of his world in the way only a 17yo disaster boy can do? ✅
Meta: Another throwback to how Wilhelm was referred to as the party prince back in season 1.
Blink and you miss it: Felice hides the wine bottle behind her back before Malin comes in. She knows, Felice. Malin knows everything.
Meta: Another throwback to when Wilhelm was eating the dirt at the very same football field that disaster emo boy Simon is now sitting at together with his friends, who are trying to convince him to go to the final party.
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Subtext: This time, August isn't just sorry that he got caught, he is genuinely sorry for everything he did to Wilhelm. He in turn forgives August, and we're all getting closure for this plot point.
Meta: Hey, hey, hey guys, do you remember that scene in season 1 episode 1 when Sara helped hold Felice's hair while she was throwing up? We're doing a throwback here!
Meta: Hey, hey, hey guys, do you remember that scene in season 1 episode 3 when Felice told Sara that maybe you don't have to speak the truth all the time? Well, Sara still doesn't understand why you would lie, but this time she's right, Felice was right to tell the truth.
Blink and you miss it: Stella and Fredrika are making out at the party, Felice saw it, and is making a very funny face. This is also why Stella rudely rejects Rosh, because of course she's gonna choose Fredrika, Rosh was just a distraction to make her jealous.
Subtext: Vincent is talking about Nils, who just came out, but August just saw Sara, and that's the whoever he wants.
Subtext: But despite saying that he doesn't care about anyone else seeing them, he still ducked behind a stack of pallets for this conversation.
Meta: This is a brutal Fleabag reference.
Cinematography: This scene is overwhelmingly lit in that sickly greenish fluorescent hue, but there's golden light coming from somewhere, so Sara and August share one final kiss in that golden light. But there's not enough of it to go around, not enough for their love to last, so August is left standing there alone, and all the golden light is gone.
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Cinematography: Wilhelm and Simon left the party sometime after midnight, this is supposed to be a very early morning summer sunrise, and our boys are just gonna be bathed in the golden light throughout the entire scene. Gods, it is pretty.
Meta: Hey, hey, remember that scene in season 1 when Simon was singing that song, and Wilhelm instantly fell for him?
Meta: Hey guys, remember that scene in season 1 when they were discussing welfare politics in class and Simon threw shade on Wilhelm? This is a throwback to that.
Cinematography: Just fucking look at this shit. What a nice view. The nature and the sunrise is pretty, too! Going naked into the water? Yeah, that's a rebirth metaphor as well. Lisa said so!
Subtext: This entire scene is basically Wilhelm trying one last time to get Simon back. They said they weren't gonna, but he's trying anyway. They're talking about that politics class where Wilhelm couldn't speak up because he was "not allowed". So he's still bound by his royal duties, which is why Simon broke up with him last episode.
Subtext: And since Wilhelm is still stuck, he's left on dry land, while Simon swims away from him, free. Guys, I'm thinking we're actually gonna get a sad ending! This does not look good! 😭
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Blink and you miss it: Stella and Fredrika are sleeping in the same bed and making out the morning after, and millions of #Stedrika shippers are rejoicing! Yay, fanservice!
Blink and you miss it: Walter is helping Henry up after he passed out in the grass outside after the party, and millions of #Walty shippers are rejoicing! Yay, fanservice!
Subtext: The last photo Wilhelm takes down from his wall is the one with him and Simon, because that's the most important memory of this place.
Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm shuts off his red lightstrip in his room. Those lights have typically been a symbol of his love for Simon, but he's turning it off. Sad ending confirmed.
Meta: Listen, it's a lovely little song that Simon wrote for Wilhelm, but it's 100% fanservice, it's referencing events in the show that Simon actually didn't witness, and it's even referencing the soundtrack to the show itself! I mean, come on! And we're getting yet another sad boy Wilhelm montage of him moping around Hillerska with his earbuds.
Subtext: Remember how the frog snowglobe was a gift from Erik, who in turn got it from their grandpa, the king? It's so obviously a symbol of the monarchy, but Wilhelm is dumping it in the trash. Are we... Are we not getting a sad ending?
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Cinematography: The shot of the flag being raised is cut off at half mast, which is a pretty universal symbol for mourning. Oh ok, we're back on track for a sad ending.
Subtext: This is the first time this season that Simon speaks Spanish with his mom, and the first time in the entire series that Sara does, which shows that they're fully themselves again, they've pulled themselves out of the Hillerska world.
Culture: The graduating students are having a champagne breakfast before the graduation ceremony, that's also very common in Sweden.
Subtext: Felice and the rest of the choir decided to have a little rebellion and not sing the boring old Hillerska song, and instead the new improved one that Simon made last season. No-one told him about the switch though, which is why he's so surprised.
Culture: After the ceremony, the graduating students will run out of the school to find their parents and family and friends, who are waiting for them, usually with a big sign with the most embarrassing baby picture they could find of them.
Blink and you miss it: August's mom and stepdad have also made a huge sign with an embarrassing picture of August Malte as a kid. Adorable.
Lost in translation: The queen is saying "lilla gubben", which literally means "little old man", a very common term of endearment in Swedish families. The show has been pretty consistent in that Wilhelm's family are all using normal words, just like any other family would. So it's pretty funny that despite everyone else using titles and styles all the time, to Wilhelm, his parents are simply "mamma" and "pappa", as if he was a regular kid.
Subtext: As a graduating student you get little gifts from your family, flowers, champagne, stuffed animals, all with a blue-and-yellow ribbon so you can hang them around your neck. August is family, so the Queen gives him one as well. Of a frog with a crown. Which is a symbol of the monarchy in the show. Wilhelm threw his frog in the trash, August is getting a frog from the Queen. I think there might be symbolism here! I think we're setting up August to become the next king! Do we dare hope for a happy ending?
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Cinematography: Just fucking look at this shit. The composition, the contrast, the height difference, the distance between them. It's so pretty. And they're talking about how good it was while it lasted, just like how a TV show with a sad ending can still be an amazing experience. Hint hint.
Subtext: We're saying our goodbyes, Wilhelm and Simon are saying goodbye to each other, Wilhelm wishes Simon a nice summer, just like how Simon wished Wilhelm a good Christmas back in season 1, and just like back then, they both understand that they love each other, but can't be together.
Cinematography: And then Simon exits the scene, again, leaving Wilhelm standing there alone, again, having seemingly chosen his family and royal duty.
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Culture: It's common to either rent a truck as a large group of students, or to be driven in a flashy car alone or with a friend. The two girls in the centre are sitting in a very nice Aston Martin, while a bunch of their classmates are on a truck. I can't make out the full text on the banner, but I think it says something like "Lock up your sons because tonight we become like animals".
Culture: Svensson is a very common Swedish last name, so to "be a Svensson" basically means that you're super average and mediocre, you're like everyone else. Whereas these elite kids are used to having everyone else bow and scrape for them, so that message is on brand.
Cinematography: We're in the car, it looks like the ending of season 1, and we're doing a close-up of Wilhelm's face. We're ready for the fourth-wall-break of him staring sadly into the camera, having been once again broken down by the system and not getting the boy. We've said goodbye to everyone, roll the credits, start your crying...
Cinematography: ...except the show isn't ending here. We're having an honest conversation between Wilhelm and his parents for the first time. Because every other time he's said that he doesn't want to be crown prince of the next king, he's been angry or upset, he's been threatening, and definitely impulsive. But he's never wanted any of it.
Cinematography: His parents let him go, they open the door to their van, Wilhelm exits, and the show turns up the volume of the soundtrack. "Energetic music" my ass, it's the Harmony theme! It's the main theme of the entire show playing as Wilhelm runs away.
Subtext: Oh, yeah, August sees him run away, and understands that he's next in line now. Sorry buddy, sucks to be you, but never mind that now. RUN, WILHELM, RUN!!! GET YOUR MAN!
Cinematography: The shows turns into the most perfect rom-com, with Wilhelm chasing down Simon's car through the incredibly lush and green Swedish summer. He catches up to them, tells Simon that he ditched the crown for his own sake, and asks if it's really over between them.
VAD FAN TROR DU?
As if the soundtrack wasn't triumphant enough, it now starts playing As Long As you Are Here as they throw themselves in each other's arms. Happy ending! They're crying, I'm crying, we're all crying! 😭
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Cinematography: A montage? With all the best scenes between our boys from the entire show? With the text of the soundtrack perfectly matching the montage? I should be outraged at how cheesy this is, but it is perfect. Perfect. I love it. I swear, this fucking show.
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Subtext: Finally we are at the true ending of the show. Wilhelm has managed to escape Hillerska, him and Simon and Sara and Felice have all escaped the hierarchies, the expectations, the duties, and the toxic environment of the school. He arrived in a Ferrari, and is now running away with his boyfriend and friends in a crappy Volvo station-wagon. The stiff suit jackets are gone, they're all in white, his hair is ruffled in the wind, and for the last time ever Wilhelm looks into the camera. And he smiles.
He is finally free.
199 notes · View notes
talaok · 8 months
Note
ok first of all, I love your writing!!! a scenario just popped into my head and I found it so funny, the reader and Pedro have been dating for some time, Pedro doesn't want to have children but you were always good with children and after a children's party you went together and he realized (or thought) that you were strange when interacting with the children (which would be just tiredness) made him nervous and anxious thinking that you were frustrated because you wanted children and he didn't, during the night he can barely sleep and that means he gets up early and being impatient waiting for you to wake up, and at the first sign that you are waking up the first thing he says is: be honest, do you want to have children? and the reader is confused like dude it’s 7 am wtf??? I leave her answer and the end up to you and your incredible imagination, kisses 💋
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader
a/n: no bc bestie I genuinely love this idea so much like omg im sorry if i didn't do it justice but tomorrow im getting some very fucking important news and my mind is a bit all over the place
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"Auntie!" 
Your beaming niece ran to you as soon as soon as you stepped into the backyard.
"There's the birthday girl!" you grinned, picking Nora up to give her a tight hug
"I missed you!" she squealed, as her small arms reached around your neck "You never visit anymore"
You snorted "Did your mom tell you to say that?"
The way your sister was biting down a grin told you all you needed to know.
"no" she mumbled, making you huff a laugh.
Your sister was raising the perfect actress.
"Well aren't you miss popular?" you gasped, looking around at all the children running around the place "These all your friends?" you asked, as she turned to follow your gaze
"yep" she nodded proudly "I basically know every kid at school"
"well there's something you didn't take from your mom..." you joked, raising your eyebrows at your sister
"hey!" she shot you a look
"I'm just saying" you shrugged "I don't remember your birthday parties being this big"
"oh shut up, you're one to talk" she rolled her eyes.
"hi Pedro!" Nora noticed him as he walked into the backyard with your sister's husband.
"hi Nora" he smiled, walking closer
"Is it your fault that y/n never visits anymore?"
Pedro was very much taken aback by the bluntness, but all you could do was chuckle.
"oh my god, I'm so sorry" your sister intervened, taking her daughter from you "Here why don't you go play with your friends?" she suggested, making her comply immediately.
"I swear I didn't tell her to say that" she promised, looking as mortified as she sounded.
"I know Alice" you grinned "don't worry"
"I'm sorry Pedro" she turned to him nonetheless.
"It's fine" he smiled that charming smile of his 
"Nora's just very..."
"Exuberant" her husband finished the sentence for her
"yes, exactly" she nodded
You laughed softly "That's definitely one way to put it"
The next hour was spent chatting at one of the tables Jeremy, your sister's husband, had set up on the lawn, and as you talked and ate, and drank more champagne than water the tiredness started to really make itself heard.
The flight from LA to Washington was six hours and a half, so you had to travel during the night, and as much as you wanted to sleep during it, you never were able to do so on planes.
So you were basically only running on coffee, and not even the good kind, no, the shitty airport one.
A tug at your hand brought you out of your own thoughts.
"Auntie!" your niece was saying
"sorry" you smiled down at her, setting your glass down "What's up sweetie?"
"come play Simon says!"
You had to fight the urge to groan. The last thing you wanted to do right now was to play a game with a bunch of screaming children.
"right now?" you asked
"Yes"
"but-"
"c'mooon," Nora moaned, jumping up and down a bit "I want you to meet my friends"
You sighed slightly as you stood up 
"lead the way birthday girl"
And as you disappeared behind a tree, dragged by your own niece, Pedro couldn't help but think
That was weird
And that same thought continued making its way into his mind over and over again.
You've never hesitated when it came to playing with Nora, you loved that kid so much you would have given her the world on a silver platter had she just said the word.
You weren't constantly taking pictures of her because you "wanted to remember every single moment with her" as you insisted every time, you weren't smiling every time you just looked at her either, and you weren't even entertaining the kids like you always did.
Fuck, Jacob and Alice used to tease you every time saying that they didn't need entertainers for her parties when you were there, that's how good you were with children.
Not that today you weren't good with them, Pedro could see and hear the laughs you'd elicit from the small crowd, but still, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong... and that he had something to do with it.
You were asleep beside him, and he didn't know if it was because you were in your sister's guest room and not in your own bedroom, or if was because guilt was clawing at him from within, but as much as he tried to sleep, his body opposed to it.
He was looking at you... so peaceful, so pretty, so beautiful and all he could feel was guilty.
He had racked his brain as to why you were acting weird for hours and then finally, thirty minutes ago he'd finally got it.
It was his fault
Of course, it was.
The only thing that had changed since you last saw Nora, was that talk you'd had that day at the park.
God, he was so goddamn stupid.
"Another reason as to why I don't want children" 
He'd said it so casually too, as a stupid joke, like it was nothing, without even thinking that maybe that's not what you wanted, that maybe he was ruining everything.
And now he'd fucked everything up, and panic was rising in his chest so fast that he worried in mere minutes he was gonna go into cardiac arrest.
And yes you'd told him you didn't want children too, but maybe you just said it because that's what he said and you probably hated him and-
Fuck were you ever gonna wake up?
he had thought about doing it himself but then realized how bad of an idea that was when he was halfway into shaking your arm.
He needed to talk to you. Now.
He needed to know, and to beg you, and to tell you to forget all about what he said at the park because it all went flying out the window when it was about you and-
Your eyelids fluttered, and shit but for a moment he pondered the existence of a god.
A whimper left your mouth as you readjusted your head on the pillow and he couldn't hold it anymore.
"Be honest"
Your eyes flew open in shock as your heart skipped a beat.
"Holy fucking- Jesus!" you breathed "You scared me, Pedro"
"Do you want children?"
Your eyes widened even more as your features filled with confusion 
"What the actual f-"
"I know that I said that I don't want kids, and I know that you agreed with me, but if that's not really what you want or if- if you changed your mind I want you to know that I-"
You propped yourself on your elbows to get a better look at him.
Was he fucking high or something?
"Pedro first of all it's..." you trailed off, glancing at your phone and groaning when you read the numbers on the screen "Oh my god" you sighed, running a hand down the length of your face "and second of all, what are you talking about baby?" you sighed, your voice softening as you took in his worried face for the fist time since you'd opened your eyes.
He took your hand in his
"I'm talking about the fact that I take it back- that if you want to have children then I'm sure I can make it work, that I love you y/n, and I don't want to lose you and that-"
"lose me?" you frowned, trying to squint your sleep away "Children?" you shook your head, trying to make some sense of what was going on "Pedro I- I'm sorry I thought we'd agreed neither of us wanted children?"
"Yes, but I understand if you've changed your mind"
"Why would I have changed my mind?" you asked, sitting up "Where is this coming from?"
"I just-" he looked like a sad puppy with those big brown eyes of his "You were acting weird today at the birthday and I couldn't help but think that-"
"That I wanted children?" you smiled, doing a poor job of hiding your amusement
"Well...yes"
"oh my god" you breathed, moving some messy hair out of your face "I was tired baby" you explained with a grin "I didn't sleep for shit on the plane and I wasn't exactly feeling like running around kids like I usually do"
Now was his turn to frown
"Really?"
"yes!"
"O-Oh"
"yeah, oh" you shook your head, still unable to get rid of the smile on your lips.
"Well this is embarrassing" he let out a low huff "I just... I don't know-"
you sat up to get closer to him as you inspected his face.
"Oh baby," you cooed, stroking his cheek "Did you even sleep?"
"I tried to" 
Your lips pulled into a sorry tilt as you intertwined your arms behind his neck.
"I don't want children baby" you said "I love our life exactly as it is"
"I'm sorry" he murmured
"No don't be" you shook your head, letting your forehead meet with his "It was kind of sweet to be honest" you beamed, leaving a quick kiss on his lips
"Did you really mean it? that you'd have children if that's what I wanted?"
And when he looked at you now, you felt as if he was staring right into your soul.
"Sweetheart" he murmured "I'm not sure there's anything on this earth I wouldn't do for you"
679 notes · View notes
moni-logues · 8 months
Text
Across a Crowded Room
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Strangers-to-lovers, idolverse, smut
Word count: 10.7k
Summary: Dissatisfied and uncomfortable at a party where you don’t belong, in a country where you feel like you don’t belong, you see a man looking at you from across the room. Maybe he’s what you’ve been missing.
Content: alcohol consumption, fingering, oral (f. receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms, I guess slight exhibitionism since it all happens up against a window lmao
A/N: Ok, so I 1000000% thought I had re-posted this here already?? but Lia has informed me that I have not and since I got a nice message about it on the old blog, I figured now's as good a time as any to repost!! The start of this fic is literally the first writing I had done for over a decade. I started writing even before I had a writing blog. Then the rest of it was written... last November? ish? idk. anyway, I read this myself the other day and it's alright! ETA: LOL, you can tell it's old because it's written in present tense LMAO
* * *
You tug self-consciously at the hem of your dress; it’s a little too short for your liking, but Hanjae likes you in K-style clothes and, once you’re there, it’ll be fine. It’s always a little nerve-wracking the thought of going to a party where you hardly know anyone, but it always turns out fine. Fun, even. Positive thinking. You sigh and inhale deeply before leaving your apartment and heading down to the car he’s sent for you.
When you first met, you were both taken with each other. He was intrigued by your foreignness and enchanted by your clumsy negotiations in a foreign culture; you were reassured by his confidence and excited by the access he had to hitherto hidden worlds of luxury and indulgence. He wasn’t rolling with Elon Musk or anything (and you’d have had nothing to do with him if he were), but he lived with an ease and security that you yearned for. Which, you suppose, is why you’re still letting him parade you around at parties like this.
It was fun at first. You liked the attention – who wouldn’t? Instead of feeling freakish and out of place, you felt interesting and cherished for your differences. You felt like they were laughing with you when you told funny, embarrassing stories of when you’d got it wrong, or how you do things back home. It felt like people were fascinated by you and you were warmed by their curiosity. You didn’t mind when they reached out to touch your tattoos or asked personal questions, because they didn’t mean any harm. Hanjae gave you a social life that you hadn’t quite managed to create for yourself in this new place and got you out of your apartment, out of your comfort zone, and you clung to that.
Recently, though, you’ve been feeling different. When you show up to parties with him and see his friends you’ve met before, they’re surprised you’re still around. They joke to your face that they would’ve expected Hanjae to have moved on by now. They ask what his parents think (but you have never been introduced to them). They’re not so charmed by you anymore. These friends barely spare you a second thought once they’ve registered their surprise and the attentions of new friends aren’t as welcome as they once were. You started feeling uncomfortable with the way Hanjae paraded you around a couple of weeks ago and now, you’re frankly sick to your stomach. When people reach out to touch you, you flinch away; you don’t tell funny, embarrassing stories because you feel like you’re being laughed at; you stay quiet, for the most part, because your Korean is still not very good and, when they correct you or laugh at your mistakes, you don’t feel like they’re doing it kindly. Standing, mute, next to Hanjae while he laughs and drinks makes you feel like an object, a trophy, an oddity. If Hanjae were a Victorian-era Englishman travelling to the ends of the Earth to ransack a foreign place and bring home stolen goods, you were the buried necklace of an Aztec noblewoman he would give to the eligible girl in the manor house whose hand he is trying to win. He is showing you off because other people are impressed, but you no longer get the feeling that he is.
You hand over your phone and lip balm to Hanjae when you meet him outside the venue; this became a habit early on, so you wouldn’t have to hold a bag and he was happy to keep them in his pockets. Now, it feels a little bit like handing over your freedom.
“Cheer up!” he says as you lean back in your seat. “This’ll be fun, won’t it?” He smiles at you and tucks your hair behind your ear. He’s not a bad guy. He really isn’t. You’re not entirely sure if he even realises what he’s doing with you, if he knows that he doesn’t really like you but the idea of you, if he knows that there’s no future with you, if he’s realised that this relationship is rapidly approaching its expiry date. He’s been extremely good to you and you owe it to him to try. However much you want it to end, you don’t want it to end badly and you don’t want to hurt him; there’s no need for that.
You walk into the party amongst a sea of black suits. You scan the crowd, looking for other women you can compare your outfit to. A terrible thing to do, you know, but your insecurity needs reassurance that you’re dressed appropriately for this event. Hanjae is already leading you over to his friends, two of whom have brought their girlfriends, who are dressed in outfits similar to yours, so that’s something at least. You greet them brightly and Hanjae hands you a drink before launching into a conversation you can’t quite follow. That’s the other thing about these parties; they’re so loud, even if everyone were speaking English, you’re not sure you’d be able to hear them properly, so you hardly stand a chance in Korean. You’ve improved dramatically and can get by in your day-to-day life, but you don’t feel like you’re good enough yet to have a proper conversation, to really talk to anyone. It’s quite a lonely feeling and another reason you’ve spent so much time with Hanjae: he speaks fluent English; although he uses it less and less often these days and he gets more impatient when you need things repeating. You suppose it must be difficult for him, too, having to use a second language so much.
You gaze around the room, looking at nothing in particular. You sip your drink and wonder what everyone else is thinking about. You barely notice the looks you get anymore – most of them are meaningless anyway and people pass their eyes over you before turning back to their friends – but out of the corner of your eye, you see someone looking at you. You don’t recognise him, but you’ve never been very good with faces and the lighting is weird here. You raise your glass and nod slightly; even if you don’t know him, it’s nice to be polite. He looks a little flustered that you’ve noticed and quickly looks away, and then back again and raises his glass a little before turning and walking away. You smile, what a cutie.
*
Your glass is empty and your feet hurt from standing still for so long, so you tell Hanjae you’re going to get another drink. He asks you to get him a whiskey, so you traipse to the bar and order. You hand the drink to Hanjae without a word and wander off; there must be somewhere to sit in this place.
The main room is cavernous and you’re worried there will be no open doors to anywhere else. There is a small group of tables in one corner, but they are all already occupied. You look around as you walk, and suddenly bump into someone.
“Oh, so-“, you start to say, but you realise it isn’t someone; it is a mirror. The whole back wall is mirrored. For a moment, you are completely disoriented and slightly embarrassed, but as you edge along the mirror, you realise that the wall doesn’t reach the other side and the room continues beyond it. As you cross behind the mirror, the din of music and voices is subdued significantly. There’s another partial wall from the other side as though the room is zig-zagging. You’re wary of going too far, but the increasing quiet is soothing. You turn another corner and there’s a bench opposite a large staircase. You immediately sit down along its length and lift your feet. You wonder what the time is and how much more of it you’ll have to kill before you can go home. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, reminding yourself that Hanjae is a good man and you are very fortunate and suffering from very glamorous problems. A few months ago, you’d have given an arm and a leg to be at a party like this. Be careful what you wish for, you think to yourself.
As you fidget on the bench, you realise you are not alone. There is a man coming down the stairs. You take your feet off the bench and try to look like you’re doing something (what? What could you be doing? There is absolutely nothing to occupy you here!); you settle for just looking awkward. You nod your head and raise a hand as he reaches the bottom.
“Are you ok?” he asks. His hesitance reminds you of someone and you realise with a flash that he is the man who was looking at you earlier.
You clear your throat.
“네. 괜찮아요. 감사합니다,” you answer falteringly, embarrassed at having been caught hiding out. You rise to leave.
“오, 정말요? ……………?”
You don’t understand the second half of what he said and you curse yourself for having answered in Korean; if you’d just spoken English and pretended you didn’t know any Korean at all, this would’ve been much simpler!
“Sorry, I didn’t understand,” you tell him. “갈게요.”
“No, wait,” he cries, with more force than he intended. “You don’t have to leave.” He gestures to the bench. “I was also looking for somewhere quiet.”
He speaks shyly and you assume he doesn’t have much practice at speaking English and don’t have the energy for locking you both into a conversation where neither of you can quite understand the other. On the other hand, it would feel rude to just walk away now. You stand, not leaving but not quite staying, both of you trapped in an awkward moment that seems to last forever.
“You can leave if you want,” he says, finally. “I am going to stay.” He sits on the bottom step and takes a sip from his drink. “It’s ok, we don’t have to talk- but I can speak English a little bit if you want.”
You slowly return to the bench and sit down. You feel like you should say something, but your mind is blank. It’s like you’ve never had a conversation before in your life; what do people say? Does he even want you to say something? Why was he staring at you earlier? In the same way that everyone else always does or was there a specific reason? You feel your hands start to sweat and you inwardly roll your eyes at yourself and tell yourself to get a grip, literally nothing is happening.
He is looking out of the window and you are staring into the corner on the opposite side; you each take glances at one another, praying the other doesn’t notice. You can still hear the music from the party, quiet in the background, and you wonder if Hanjae has noticed your absence yet; you expect not. You glance at the man opposite you and catch his eye. You both chuckle awkwardly.
“I’m ________,” you say.
“Jungkook,” he answers.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook.”
“I saw you earlier; I didn’t think we’d met before.”
“No, I’m not really invited to these things,” you explain. “I just tag along with my b-,“ you stop, the word ‘boyfriend’ weighing heavily on your tongue.
“Who’s your boyfriend?”
Dammit.
“Uh, Kim Hanjae?”
“Ah… Don’t know him.”
“He’s…” How on earth did you get to this subject so quickly? Do you really want to talk about Hanjae to this random man? More to the point, does this random man want to hear about your boyfriend and how you actually don’t want him to be your boyfriend anymore? Doubtful. “He’s nice,” you finish, lamely.
“Just don’t like parties?”
Part of you wishes you had just left when you had the chance. Then you realise how ridiculously you’re behaving; hating the party because no one will talk to you and, now, as soon as someone starts, you want to leave. ‘Get a grip, girl,’ you say to yourself.
“I like parties,” you answer, “but it’s-… I’m-… This-…” You pause as you try to work out how to give an honest answer that isn’t simultaneously dumping all your crap onto him. “These are all his friends; I don’t really know anyone here.”
He nods.
“I have a different problem: everyone knows me and wants to talk to me all the time.” He laughs. “I don’t like big parties. They’re… so much… too much.”
You nod. The two of you lapse into silence again, but it’s more comfortable this time. You’ve broken the ice a little. He seems nice and you feel a pang of sympathy for him: to be a big deal at parties like this sounds exhausting, especially if you don’t even like parties to start with. No wonder he’s hiding out with you.
“It’s hard for me to talk to people at these things,” you tell him. “My Korean isn’t very good and Hanjae doesn’t like speaking English when we’re with his friends because some of them don’t speak it.”
“I think your Korean sounds good.”
You laugh; that was a sweet thing to say given that he’s heard you say all of three words.
“It’s ok, but we couldn’t have this conversation in Korean. Sorry.” You smile weakly and feel pathetic; you knew it would be a process, moving to a new country and learning the language as you go, but you weren’t prepared for how embarrassed and ashamed you would feel all the time about your failings.
“Don’t be sorry!” He grins at you. “I can try my English! But, actually, it is not very good either. Sorry.”
You laugh again. Koreans and their modesty; his English sounds just fine from where you’re sitting.
“Did you move here recently?” he asks.
“About four months ago,” you answer. “I was… looking for something new, I guess. I don’t know… I needed new horizons, new experiences.”
“And how do you think about it now you’re here?”
You wonder if he knows what a loaded question that is. You exhale with a huff. Where to begin?
“It’s been harder than I thought it would be,” you tell him. “I feel very… different. Being looked at so much is not something I was used to… I think Hanjae likes it, but it’s awkward for me. I feel like…”
“An object.”
Your eyes meet and your chest is flooded with the warmth of familiarity. He’ll understand, won’t he?
“When we met,” you start, looking away self-consciously, “he was charmed by my foreignness, y’know? And he liked how different I looked and found it cute when I made mistakes in Korean and didn’t know things. It gave him clout, y’know? Dating a foreigner? I was spoilt by it, the attention; I thought it was for me and when he bought me dresses and took me to parties to show me off, I thought it was because I was special, not just because I was foreign. I loved it at the start.
“I think the appeal is wearing off, though,” you continue, stealing a quick glance to gauge his reaction. He’s looking at you patiently, intently, concentrating, probably, on understanding what you’re saying. “He gets annoyed sometimes now when I don’t know things and-“
You tell him everything. Once you start, you find you can’t stop. You don’t know whether to be angry or sad about it, so you vacillate between the two. Jungkook listens, never interrupts; he drinks and nods and keeps looking at you with those huge brown eyes.
“I know it’s over,” you say, resolute. “I just-” you realise it as you say it, “I’m scared that I won’t have anything if I don’t have him.”
He looks at you thoughtfully for a moment.
“But you met him in Korea, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, you still have the person who moved all the way here to start a new life; that seems like a lot to me.”
For a split second, you don’t know whether to burst into tears or fling your arms around him and give him a kiss. ‘Is he looking at me,’ you wonder ‘or staring into my soul?’. You feel seen, seen for the first time in months. You decide then and there that you would walk on hot coals for this man; he’s got you whether he wants you or not. His kindness streams out from him like rays of the sun from behind clouds. Such a bright, young thing, hiding in the dark.
“What about you?” You ask. “You’re hiding back here, too.”
“Ah.” He finishes his drink and places the glass next to him on the step. “I prefer quiet places. I like to keep things small and…-”
“Intimate?”
You blush furiously as he looks at you. That isn’t what you meant and you’re not sure how he’s taken it.
“Yeah, intimate. Big crowds are not my thing.”
“Not when they forget that you’re a person, first.”
He nods.
You stand and move to look out of the window, closer to him. He rises, too, and stands next to you. Your arm is a hair’s breadth from him; you daren’t move.
“Do you like the view?” he asks.
“Actually, I don’t really like a cityscape. I prefer country views.”
“What are the views like where you’re from?”
No one has asked you about home like that. They ask for funny differences between here and there or ask you to debunk or confirm stereotypes, but no one has really cared what you actually think. You smile, picturing in your mind’s eye cloudy, wind-swept beaches, rolling hills, pier arcades, church spires and so much green. You tell him everything. You turn your back to Seoul and, leaning against the glass, describe the house you grew up in and where your grandparents used to live; you describe the places you took holidays when you were a kid and the specific smell of the sea that isn’t the same anywhere else in the world. He’s been to your home country before, but he hasn’t been to your hometown; he asks questions and shows interest and you realise how starving you’ve been. Starved of this sort of attention – focused, interested, penetrating. You’ve had a taste and you want more and more.
You ask him about Seoul; did he grow up here? No, he tells you about Busan in the South. He speaks slowly and thoughtfully about his childhood and his dreams and moving here at such a young age, growing up so far from everything he’s ever known. He’s achieved more than he ever thought was even possible, more than he had ever dreamed, he explains; sometimes he still can’t believe it’s real.
While he talks, you study his face. He’s happy now, but you feel for the scared, little boy thrust into the industry machine before he even knew who he was. Now’s not the time, you know that, but you want to gently crack him open like a soft-boiled egg. Such depth in his eyes, so much soul. You resist the urge many times to put your hand on his arm, hold his hand for a second, reach out and physically touch him somehow. You feel connected to him in such a way that you need it to be physical for a moment, to close the circle, to just… touch.
You’re still standing by the window, deep in conversation, when a man appears from behind the wall and beckons to Jungkook. They talk quickly and Jungkook returns.
“I’m going to get a drink.”
Your heart falls.
“Do you want one?”
A wash of relief. You shrug, sure.
“Ok, wait here. I won’t be long.”
He leaves and you turn back to the window, pressing your forehead against the cool glass. You wonder what time it is, where is Hanjae, what’s he doing, is he even still here, has he noticed you’re missing, is Jungkook actually coming back? You take some deep breaths.
With no watch, no phone, and no clock in this dark, little hideaway, you have no way to tell how long Jungkook has been. One minute? Could be ten. You wonder if he’ll make it back to you; after all, he was hiding back here to avoid being grasped in the clutches of all the many, many people out there. Maybe he’s been waylaid. He’s got stuck with a chatterbox who won’t be quiet; he’s got trapped into a business conversation that he can’t leave. Maye he’s seen some friends and is having fun out there.
You sigh, knowing that if he doesn’t come back soon, you’ll have to go out there, too. Hanjae will be missing you, you tell yourself; it’s rude to abandon him completely when he’s the reason you’re even here in the first place. You take a deep, resolute breath and stand, smoothing out your dress. You bump into Jungkook as you round the corner.
“Oh,” he says as he sees you. “Are you going?”
He hands you a drink and you take it, the cold glass sending goosebumps up your arm.
“Uh, well, no, well yes, I was but I didn’t know if you were coming back.” You hope you didn’t sound accusatory.
“I’m sorry, it is hard to avoid people out there,” he replies, continuing around the corner and sitting on the bench. You follow him and he places a hand on the bench, indicating you should join. You feel bad; he shouldn’t have to apologise. You sit next to him on the bench and sip your drink.
“You can go back out there, if you want, you know; you don’t have to stay here with me,” you tell him. His eyes widen and he shakes his head.
“No, thank you!” he laughs. “That was enough. Maybe I will show my face again a bit later.”
“Good.” You spoke without thinking and are just about to regret it when he smiles at you.
“Yeah. Good.”
You place a hand down on the bench and he reaches out a finger to touch your bracelet. When you packed your whole life into one suitcase, a lot of brutal cuts had to be made and there are so many parts of your heart at home, abandoned by you, but not this one. It’s a tiny gold chain, with a tiny gold J attached.
“That’s not the letter of your name,” Jungkook says, still studying your bracelet.
“No… No, it’s from my best friend’s name,” you explain. “She gave this to me a long time ago; I like to wear it when I feel like I need her, to feel like I’ve got a little bit of her with me.” You rub your wrist, self-consciously, and wonder what she’s up to right now.
“Does it help?”
“No, not really.” You laugh, a little sad. “It reminds me that there are people in the world who love me, which is nice, but it also reminds me that those people are thousands of miles away.”
“All of them?” His penetrating eyes beam at you and you feel like no matter what answer you give, it’ll be the wrong one. You shrug.
“I thought maybe you told me a fake name before,” he admits, grinning sheepishly.
“Oh, I don’t think that would’ve ever occurred to me! Why, do you do that?”
He nods. He smiles but it’s sad, the mirth not reaching his eyes.
“Sometimes. But I wouldn’t get away with it so easily if I wore one of those, right?”
You unclasp the bracelet’s fastening and it slips off your wrist and, taking an end in each hand, hold it out to him. He looks uncertainly at you and you nod. He offers his wrist and you fix the chain in place.
“There’s no getting away from who you really are,” you tell him, knowing full well that it doesn’t matter where you go, ’cause there you’ll always be. He grins. “For tonight.”
“For tonight, I can be your best friend?”
You laugh and nod, thinking, ‘god, can he be my best friend forever?’.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, gently moving the bracelet around his wrist; you wonder what he’s thinking and take a sip of your drink.
A few minutes pass in a comfortable silence until Jungkook speaks again.
“I don’t have anything to give you.”
“What?”
“In return.” He indicates the bracelet. “I don’t have anything I can give you.” He takes off a ring and considers it. “I think they will all be too big.” He holds it out and you offer up your hand; he slips it onto your index finger and you lift your hand up, swirling the ring around so that it very nearly flies off the tip.
“Too big,” you confirm with a grin.
He pulls his sleeve up to reveal a watch and you notice the tattoos running underneath.
“I think this will not go with your dress, right?”
You nod absently, trying to make out what you’re looking at. You take the edge of his sleeve and lift it a little higher to get a better look and then become aware of what you’re doing and drop it, apologising instantly.
“That’s ok,” he says and he undoes the cuff, rolling the sleeve up to his elbow. He turns his arm slowly so you can get a good look (or as good a look as you can manage in the dark light). You nod approvingly.
“That’s why I was looking at you earlier,” he says, a little embarrassed. “I was trying to look at your tattoo.”
Well, that explains the intensity of his focus earlier. You turn so that he can see. You feel, for a second, his hand above your skin and your stomach clenches, praying he won’t touch you like everyone else does: ‘just please don’t let him touch me; please, please don’t let him touch me’. But the touch never comes. You sense his hand moving across your back and down your arm and you twist your head to see his finger, an inch above the skin, tracing the lines of your tattoo. You breathe a sigh of relief.
“What do you think?” You ask, turning your body back towards him.
“They’re very beautiful.” He looks you straight in the eyes as he answers and you’re struck again by the feeling of being seen and not merely looked at. Neither of you looks away this time. You hold the moment between yourselves, pausing time just for a second. You break the connection and look down, tracing a finger over your bracelet on his wrist. You know it’s only a coincidence that they share the same initial – it’s not exactly uncommon – but something about it feels right.
“Do you want it back?” he asks.
No, you don’t. Not yet. You feel like he’s wearing a part of you while he’s wearing it; he has accepted a part of you as a part of himself. You feel warm in the glow of that tiny, tremulous thread between you. You think, and the thought shocks you, that you would be alright he kept it forever. It’s immensely precious to you, so much so that you brought it with you thousands of miles away into your new life, but, somehow, Jungkook’s wearing it brings more to you, more comfort, more confidence, more certainty in the knowledge that there are people in the world that love you. Love is not diminished when given away, it is doubled. You suddenly wish that you did have something of his you could wear, if only for tonight.
The silence lapses and you talk, nursing your drinks, knowing that one of you will have to leave if either of you needs another. You forget the passing of time and everything outside of this little bubble. It’s the most fun you’ve had at a party for ages.
The man who appeared earlier returns and, once again, beckons to Jungkook. Jungkook stands and goes over to him and they, once again, talk quietly. Jungkook returns and the man remains.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Jungkook asks and you feel shattered all of a sudden. You had forgotten all about Hanjae, truth be told, and you are overwhelmed with guilt and shame that you’ve spent the whole night away from him, talking to another man. He isn’t my boyfriend, that’s what you wanted to say: he’s definitely not my boyfriend, or even if he is, I don’t want him to be and he won’t be for much longer! Why is Jungkook asking? Whatever bubble you were in has been popped from the inside. A part of you feels heartbroken and a part of you feels betrayed. It was just you and Jungkook; there’s no need to bring anyone else into this.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know,” you stutter in response. “Probably… somewhere…”. You have no idea where he will be; you assume that he is still here (you hope he is still here because he still has your phone), but who can say for sure?
“Do you want to leave with me?” Jungkook asks and you are stunned into momentary silence.
“What?”
“Do you want to leave with me?” he repeats. “We don’t have to go anywhere; I can take you home if you want, but would you like to leave?”
You feel like that is too many mixed messages to cope with right now so you nod dumbly and stand.
“Hanjae,” you say abruptly as your brain sputters back into gear. “He has my phone and my things.”
“Ok, shall I meet you outside? I’ll wait.”
“I’ll be quick.”
Breathless, you walk as quickly as you can back into the cavernous room, the noise building to a roar, the throng of people overwhelming. You stand on tiptoes and crane your neck, looking for anyone you recognise, cursing the organisers for the dim lighting and all men for their interminably boring black suits which make none of them stand out. You notice movement in your peripheral vision and turn to see a waving arm, beckoning you. It’s not Hanjae; it’s one of his friends.
“Where have you been?” they exclaim as you approach. “Han was looking everywhere for you; thought you must’ve disappeared! Anyway, he had to leave earlier – some work emergency – so he told me to give you these if I saw you.” He hands over your phone, lip balm, and a lipstick you’re sure isn’t yours. “He told you you can order a car if you like, but he won’t be back so you’ll have to get home on your own.”
You see that his friends clearly have no idea of entertaining you or keeping you company for the rest of the evening, which is just as well, given you were about to leave with someone else.
As you make your way outside, you look at the lipstick you were given. You try to think what might constitute a ‘work emergency’ on a Friday night; it’s not like the guy’s a doctor or fire fighter! You try not to let suspicion creep in, because Hanjae has never given you any reason to doubt his fidelity before, but then, you’ve also never considered it, because you’ve never really considered the two of you to be in an actual relationship. Maybe he hadn’t either. And if that’s the case, then there’s no need to be hurt or angered by it. But there is a niggle. There’s something crawling, digging up, trying to plant its seed in your heart. You decide if it’s going to happen at all, it will have to be tonight. As you approach the doorway, you stand to one side and dial Hanjae’s number.
“여보세요?” he answers just as you were about to give up.
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Oh. Where are you?”
“I’m still at the party.”
“Oh. Where did you go? I tried to look for you earlier; I’m not there anymore. I’ve had to come to the office.”
“Yeah, I know; I found Seongyoung and he gave me my phone.”
“Right yeah, yeah.” He sounds distracted.
“So, are you in the office now?” you ask.
“Yeah, but I can’t see you; there’s been a huge mistake and it’s going to take a long time to fix.”
“Please; it’ll be quick. I promise.”
He sighs heavily but agrees. You hang up the phone with a small weight sitting in your stomach.
You turn back to the entrance and walk out, scanning for Jungkook. There are a few dark cars sitting in front of you but you have no idea if any one of them belongs to him. You hesitate, not sure where to turn, standing awkwardly in front of drivers and security officers. A door on one of the cars opens and a hand waves; you approach and Jungkook beams up at you from inside.
“Quick!” He reaches out to grab your hand and pull you in. He speaks quickly to the driver in Korean and turns back to you. “Are you alright?”
“Um, actually, can we go somewhere?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“I… have to do something. It won’t take long, please.”
“Of course, that’s ok. Where do you want to go?”
You give him the address of Hanjae’s office building and he relays it to the driver. You sit, slightly on edge, compulsively flicking the edge of your phone case off and on, off and on. The building isn’t far and you sit in silence while Jungkook hums along to the radio. You are barely even aware of what song is playing. The driver slows and you unbuckle your seatbelt.
“Just give me like, five minutes. I’ll be quick,” you say as you open the car door.
“It’s ok; you can take as long as you like. I will wait.”
You wonder what Jungkook thinks you are doing, where he thinks you are. You wonder if he knows. Part of you assumes he does, since he seems to intuitively understand so much about you. You enter the building and approach the reception desk. The woman behind it barely looks up as she opens the barrier to let you in. You’re not sure if she recognises you from times you’ve been here before or just does not care about her job. If you had to man a reception desk in an almost entirely empty building on a Friday night, you probably wouldn’t care much either. As you call a thank you to her and walk past, the lipstick suddenly flashes into your mind. Could it be hers? You suppose it could be. It could be anyone’s. It might not have anything to do with Hanjae at all. Maybe Seongyoung handed you his girlfriend’s lipstick by mistake. Maybe not. It won’t matter soon.
You reach Hanjae’s floor and can see him in his glass-walled office: jacket and tie off, sleeves rolled up, standing and on the phone. You walk with purpose to his door and wave. He gestures for you to come in, so you stand inside the door and wait for his conversation to end.
“What’s up?” he asks, putting his phone on his desk.
“I think we need to have a conversation,�� you begin, your resolve holding firm for now.
“Right now? I really don’t have time-“
“I said I’d be quick and I meant it.” If you aren’t quick, you’re not sure you’ll be able to go through with it.
“Ok then, shoot.”
You hadn’t actually planned what you were going to say. None of the words sounded right; you wanted to be clear and direct but kind at the same time; is it even possible to tell someone kindly that you don’t want them to be in your life anymore? You clench and unclench your fist and decide to rip the plaster straight off.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I don’t think we should be together. I think we should end things. This is over.” The words tumble out without your being able to stop them. Hanjae’s eyebrows raise and he looks surprised.
“Oh.”
He looks a little dumb-founded but you had expected him to say more and aren’t sure what to do now. You open and close your mouth like a goldfish, waiting for something else to happen. You haven’t actually broken up with anyone before so you’re not sure how this usually goes.
“Can I ask why?”
“We’re not a good fit.” You hope that this will suffice but you know it won’t satisfy him.
“What does that mean? Don’t we have fun together? Don’t we like each other?” Ay, there’s the rub.
“Actually, I don’t really think you do, no.” You try to explain to him all the things you’ve been feeling recently; you try not to blame him for any of it because you don’t want this to turn into an argument; you tread as carefully as you can but you’re so desperate for this to be over now it’s started that you can’t stop your mouth running on and on.
“You’ve given me so much and I’m so grateful to you for that and I really value all the time we have spent together and I do think you’re a nice person and I don’t want to hurt you but… well, this is how I feel.” You feel a little breathless as you come to a stop. Hanjae doesn’t say anything for a while and you can’t read his face. You don’t know what he’s thinking and the longer the silence lasts, the sicker and sicker you feel.
“I’m sorry that you feel that my attention has been so unwelcome,” he finally answers, speaking slowly and coldly. “I don’t really know what else I could have done to show you that I value you: I buy you things, take you places, I introduced you to all of my friends, I show you off; is that not loving? You say you don’t even think I like you, but if that’s true, why would I bother to see you? Why would I waste my time with you if I didn’t? I hadn’t, until now, considered our time together a waste, but it seems as though my efforts have been just that. You’ve been feeling this way for weeks, have you? Well, why are you here, then? Why did you come tonight at all if all of my friends ignore you and all of my attention is so unwanted? If the time we spend together makes you feel so awful, why have you waited this long to say something? You disappeared very early this evening; I tried looking for you everywhere. You said you were getting a drink and then I didn’t see you again. Perhaps it’s not that my attention is unwanted but that you’ve found someone else whose attention you prefer? Were you just putting up with me for long enough to find a higher roller, someone richer, or more famous perhaps? Am I a step on your ladder to the top? You have never, until tonight, given me a reason not to trust you, but you have to admit that this is rather out of the blue and your behaviour at the party was… not very polite. You abandoned me-“
You scoff at that, unable to stop yourself. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. Hanjae raises his eyebrows and waits for you to explain yourself. You’ve no idea how. You say nothing. You’re the first to break eye contact and you look at the ground, then the window, the desk, anywhere but Hanjae’s face.
“Fine,” he says. “Have it your way. What a horrible boyfriend I was to you, to treat you to presents and dinners and parties, to be so impressed by you that I want to show you off to everyone I know, to speak English with you and help you with Korean, to help you get settled in, to give you a social life, to show you what Seoul has to offer, what I have to offer, to never treat you like-“
“A person. You didn’t treat me like a person, Hanjae. I’m not a prize to show off; I’m a person first, not an object.” Your heart is hammering in your chest and you can feel tears pricking in your eyes. How can you get him to understand?
“Oh, I objectify you?” It is his turn to scoff. “And yet I am the one who has been used.”
You don’t know what to say to that.
“No, I- it’s- we- I-“
“Whatever, you can leave now.” He turns his back on you and picks up his phone again. He turns around with the phone to his ear and nods at the door, shooing you away. You turn around and leave the office on trembling legs. As soon as you step into the lift to go back down, the tears come. You’re not even sure why you’re crying; you wanted this after all. It was just horrible. You feel sticky with sweat all over, and shaky with the stress of it. You know that Hanjae isn’t right, saying those things about you, and he was lashing out defensively, but it hurt all the same. Or maybe he is a little bit right. You said yourself that he’s given you so much, access to things and people and places you wouldn’t have had otherwise; you said yourself that you enjoyed that. Maybe you are in the wrong, at least a little bit. You both are, you suppose. You exit the lift and walk briskly out of the office, not turning to look at the receptionist on your way out in case she sees you crying. You step out of the door and hide behind a pillar, catching your breath, drying your tears and trying to put on a happy face. Leaning against the cold stone of the wall, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.
“____?”
Shit. Jungkook is right there in front of you, looking concerned.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
You shake your head and hold up your hands.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You stand up straight and give yourself a body shake. “Honestly, it’s fine.”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
You can’t think of much worse than going home to your poky apartment to spend the rest of your night miserable and alone.
“No… Can we, can we get a drink? Do you want to get a drink?”
Jungkook grimaces slightly. “Ah, that’s kind of difficult for me. I can’t really just go to a bar on a Friday night, y’know?”
Your heart sinks; of course he doesn’t want to go to a bar with you.
“We could have a drink at my house, if you want?” he offers.
Your heart rises. God, yes, please.
You drive back to Jungkook’s apartment in silence. The presence of the driver makes you feel somehow inhibited, self-conscious. You feel conspicuous, even though you’re sure the driver couldn’t care less about who you are or what you’re doing there. He’s just doing his job. You, nevertheless, don’t want to say anything yet, not until you’re alone with Jungkook. He’s scrolling on his phone, and you take the opportunity to study him more closely. His face changes with the changing light: suddenly brightly lit as you stop at traffic lights under a lamppost, then hidden in shadows. He has a kind face, open and bright, deep, soft eyes… You wanted to reach out a finger to trace his profile, the line of his lips, study him as if you were about to embark upon a masterpiece of him. Not that you would be able to capture his spirit if you tried. There’s a light in his eyes that seems to lie so deeply within them but shine so close to the surface.
You can’t work out what you’re feeling – too much, honestly. You need a minute to step back, step out of yourself – out of your life – to sort through everything that had happened. You feel a little as though you have accidentally stepped on a travelator and things are moving faster than you can keep up with. You wonder if you’ll regret any of this in the morning, if sleep will clear your mind and show your actions up as mistakes. You hope not. You think not. You catch the glint of your bracelet, still around Jungkook’s wrist and you nod to yourself. No, this – if this alone – is not a mistake.
When you arrive at Jungkook’s building, he shows you in and your mouth gapes. This was much bigger than Hanjae’s place. Wow. Just how famous was this guy? You are reminded forcefully of how little you actually know about him, whatever your feelings might be saying.
“What would you like to drink?” he asks, crouching in front of a cabinet. He opens the door to reveal all manner of spirits and liquors.
“Oh, anything,” you answer, without thinking. He laughs and you’re embarrassed by your answer but making another decision at this point feels impossible. You feel like a swan, calm on top, but flailing wildly underneath. You begin to think that maybe you should have let Jungkook take you home, so you could’ve gone to bed, or stared out of the window blankly until the sun rose. He’s too stimulating. Questions constantly rise to the surface of your mind like bubbles in boiling water: what’s his family like? What’s his favourite film? What’s his favourite food? Is he single? What’s he thinking? What does he want out of life? He’s already achieved his career dream so what’s his next dream?
He hands you a glass and you take a sip without even looking. It’s strong, good. You follow Jungkook to the sofa and flop onto it, thankful to be sitting comfortably. He asks if the drink is ok and you just nod and take another sip. You’re torn with conflicting desires: to stare at him endlessly, to fall into his chest and listen to his heartbeat, to tell him everything, to listen to him tell you everything, to kiss him, to never kiss him, to be his best friend, to fall in love with him, to fall in love with him and love him from afar from the rest of your life. It’s exquisite, the confusion, the keenness of your muddled feelings. You wonder briefly if you are just drunk but shake the thought from your head: you haven’t had that much to drink.
You drink in silence for a while and when you’ve finished, you stand. Placing your glass on the coffee table, you wander over to the bookcase, full of not books but DVDs and figurines. You scan the titles, your eyes not really seeing. They linger on a small figurine of a tiger at the edge of a shelf. You pick it up.
“Year of the tiger?” you ask, brandishing the figure at him.
“It is.” He stands and comes closer to you, taking the tiger in his hand.
“This is me,” you tell him. 24 years old, you were born two tigers ago. You take the figure back and wiggle it in his face. He laughs.
“I’m an ox,” he says, kneeling down. He opens the door of a little cabinet and reveals figurines for each of the zodiac animals. You laugh picking them up and inspecting them. He takes the ox from the cupboard and the tiger from your hand and puts them both back on the bookshelf. Feeling silly, you move the tiger and make a sound that’s neither quite a roar nor a meow as though the tiger is talking to the ox. Jungkook laughs and responds in kind, lowing deeply as he turns the ox towards the tiger. This is the sort of nonsense you need to lift you from the deep water of your confused feelings.
You move to the window as Jungkook refills your glass. It’s probably a good view that he probably paid a lot of money for but you can’t be enamoured with so many lights and so much modern architecture. You can just barely make out the dark shape of the mountains beyond and you smile; that’s more like it. Jungkook joins you at the window. You talk quietly; you don’t want to tell him that you broke up with Hanjae, because it implies something that you don’t really want to imply, but it comes out in the course of conversation and you actually feel relieved. You don’t know what Jungkook feels about it, if anything, but he seems pleased for you. You feel like everything is so fragile, delicate, precarious. You stay talking at the window for what feels like hours (maybe it is) because you feel that to move will be to ruin the moment somehow, force a shift in the atmosphere that you don’t want.
Your eyes settle on the gold chain at his wrist and your fingers reach out for it, toying with it. Jungkook’s hand moves, into yours, his fingers dancing on your palm. You flick your eyes back to his and he’s smiling at you, shy and sweet. You let him take your hand and suddenly it’s a handshake and you’re snorting, laughing, leaning towards each other as your shoulders shake. You lean your head on his shoulder as your breath comes back and Jungkook moves his hand to waist, pulls you closer to him.
He’s still smiling when you lift your head to look at him and you’re staring back at him, wide-eyed and unsure. He pulls you closer still, his arm snaking around your waist and he kisses you without hesitation. His lips are soft but he isn’t; he’s sure and confident and he brings his thumb to your chin to gently press down, gently open your mouth and let him inside. You’re responding before you’ve had the opportunity to think. Your hands grab at the collar of his shirt and you move against him, a leg between his legs, his bottom lip between your teeth. You’re dizzied and light-headed, grateful to the cool glass at your back and Jungkook’s arms secure around you.
When he pulls back, with apparent effort, he rests his forehead on yours, nudges your nose with his and looks at you from under his thick, dark lashes.
“Honestly, I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he says, his voice hushed in the silence of the apartment, and then he barely brushes his lips against yours again, as if he just can’t help himself.
If you were confused earlier, you aren’t anymore. The world around you has faded to a fuzzy, black blur, eclipsed by the soft bloomings of want in your chest.
“I’ve wanted you to do that all night,” you whisper back, aware only as you’re saying it that it’s true. You have wanted him to do that. You want him to do it again and then a whole lot more.
He takes your face in his hands and kisses you, lightly, gently.
“I don’t usually do this,” he says, eyes alighting on yours for only a second before he’s looking at your lips again. “It’s not… This isn’t like me but…”
“I know,” you reply. “Me, too.”
“I feel…”
“Something.”
“Yeah.”
Your heart skips a beat when he looks at you and the world holds its breath; you almost feel time slow down, the seconds that it takes for his hands to fall from your face, glide down your body, and encircle you again stretch into minutes. The distance between your lips – not even inches – stretches far into the horizon. You almost feel each of the chambers of your heart squeeze, a rush of warmth heating your cheeks, your chest, your core.
And then his lips are on you and you’re like a Catherine wheel, spinning and sparking and wild. Time snaps back like an elastic band and you’re frantic now, all hands and lips and tongue.
You slip your fingers into his shirt, flicking open the buttons, running your hands over his body, soft and supple and flushed. His hands push your dress higher and higher, over the slope of your hips and he lifts you, pushing you against the glass and pushing his body into yours. You can feel the arousal pooled at your core and you can feel him straining against his trousers. You’re wet like you’ve been waiting all night for it, like you’ve been anticipating this very moment since you first laid eyes on him. You push his shirt to the floor, watching it float down like a white flag of surrender: surrendering yourself to him, he to you, to this, whatever this is or could be.
“Oh, fuck, fuck.”
Soft whispers tumble from you as Jungkook’s fingers slide past your underwear and press into your wet heat. Your cunt squeezes against them and your hips cant towards him as he presses his thumb against your clit. Your whimpering, whining, mewling barely drowns out the squelch of his fingers working inside you, arousal dripping down his hand. You’re climbing steadily to your peak, moaning against his mouth as he rolls his tongue with yours. You pull on his hair, his head tipping back, his throat exposed. He looks down at you with heavy-lidded eyes and a slack jaw. Then he grins, thrumming faster, pressing harder and you’re squirming. You let go of his hair to clutch around his shoulders, holding on hard as your own head tips back, thudding against the glass.
Jungkook brings his face close to yours and nudges your nose with his, gently guiding your attention back to him. He holds your gaze as your legs quiver and shake, as your breath hitches and you close your eyes, so, so close now.
“Look at me.” His voice is low, soft, but demanding. “I want to see you… I want you to look at me when you come.”
And you do. Your eyes don’t leave his as you fall apart in his arms, pleasure coursing through you like a lightning strike. You’ve barely finished before he’s crashing his lips into you, urgent and needy and then suddenly neither of those things. He slows. He removes his fingers from your soaking wet slip and he holds you close to him, just barely grinding his hips into you. His kiss is deep, languorous, like he’s really tasting you now. The quiet moan he makes as his tongue rolls with yours makes your heart skip a beat and you’re weak. So weak that, when he drops you, lightly, your feet returning to the floor, you almost stumble, almost fall. But he’s got you.
He pushes your dress back down, smoothing it out so he can unzip it. He finally breaks your kiss as he pulls it from your shoulders, letting it slip down your arms. You’re braless and goosebumps sprinkle all over your skin, your nipples shivering to attention. You run your hands through Jungkook’s hair as he dips his head, lowers himself to kiss your neck, your chest, to run his tongue up the underside of your breast and suck your tight little bud into his mouth. The glass at your back is cold but he is so warm in front of you.
He drops to his knees, hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and pulls them to the floor. You step out and he flings them away.
“I want to make you come again.”
He looks up at you and his eyes are wide, imploring, asking, seeking, searching and it’s all you can do to just nod. You’ve had one-night stands and hook-ups and situationships and even boyfriends who haven’t said that to you, who haven’t cared enough to try for one, let alone more.
He’s still looking at you when he puts his mouth on you and runs his tongue through your folds. You let your head fall back again, eyes to the ceiling. Jungkook grunts, the vibration against you a little shock. You look back down at him and he nods, swirling his tongue around your clit, and you understand: he wants you to look at him, he wants to see you and wants you to see him seeing you, as you have all evening. Because he does. See you. He sees you like no one else has. You can already feel it bubbling up within you. You can sense his soul reaching out to yours as yours reaches back to him. You think to yourself that you would probably have fallen in love with him even if he weren’t so good at—
“Oh, fuck, Jungkook. Fuck. Yes, like that.”
He’s fucking you with his fingers again with his mouth sealed around your clit, the soft plane of his tongue pressing against it, sucking and then lapping. You grab onto his hair, hard, grounding you, something, anything to tether you to this world as you feel yourself floating away.
He groans and you understand his instruction, having to drag your eyes back to his. His brows are furrowed, eyes shining bright. Looking into his eyes at this moment is like falling into an abyss. Tumbling and twisting, your body writhes with pleasure, shuddering against the window as you come again, a cry strangled in your throat, legs shaking and then you’re literally falling, sliding down the glass. Jungkook follows you down, his fingers still pressing against you as he kisses up your stomach, your chest, and then he’s holding you. You’re in his arms and he’s kissing you, your own arousal all over his lips and his tongue.
“You ok?” he asks, his voice thick and low.
You couldn’t speak. Could only take his face between your palms and kiss him again. He lifts you up into his lap, so you’re straddling him, knees either side of his hips, and you can feel him, pressing against his trousers, trapped and tensed. You sit down a little further and roll your hips over him; he groans into your mouth and his hands on your glutes squeeze tight.
“Jungkook,” you whisper and he whispers your name back. “Please.”
He lifts you from his lap and kneels up, hands working at his belt and his zip. He stands to shuck them down his legs and kicks them off. You look up at him and ask,
“Do you have…?”
He nods, crossing the room to his wallet on the sideboard by the door. You press your hands against the cool glass of the window, but rather than cooling you, it warms, too. There is heat all over you, burning around you.
Jungkook returns and falls to his knees, condom in hand. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and mumbles, rolling his eyes at himself as he stands once more to push them all the way down and off. You giggle, reaching out for him, rising on your knees as he slides the rubber over his length. He pulls you to your feet and cages you in against the window, lips capturing yours.
He bites down on your lower lip and you can feel him at your entrance. He’s rubbing his length along your slick slit and you’re whimpering, walls fluttering, heart racing. He breaks the kiss to look you in the eye as he pushes into you. A soft gasp leaves you and your hands circle tight around his biceps. You can feel him slow, his eyes watching you carefully now.
“No, don’t stop, don’t stop. It feels good. Please.”
He continues, still slowly, and, when he’s all the way in, he kisses you again, pressing his body against yours.
“Jungkook,” you breathe, but whatever you were about to say disappears into a moan as he drags his cock out and then pushes back in. He moans back and brings a hand to your breast, his thumb rubbing light circles against your pert nipple. You’re already not sure how you’re still standing and then he lowers his lips to your neck and sucks at just exactly the right spot. Your legs tremble and your cunt quivers and you feel his hot breath against your skin as he chuckles.
“You like that, huh?”
“Yes.”
He says no more and his lips return to the sweet spot on your neck. You cling to him, gripping tightly, every pass of the head of his dick against your g-spot a test of your strength, fading rapidly as you start to drown in him. He thrusts deep and slow with little grunts of effort, like he’s holding back.
“Jungkook, I—”
“Yes?”
He’s looking at you again and, up close like this, he takes your breath away.
“I want more. More. I-… I can’t stand, but I wan—oh.”
He doesn’t even let you finish before he’s grabbing you, his hands at the backs of your thighs lifting you, taking all your weight onto him. You wrap your legs around him and he moves faster now, harder, looking down at where he disappears into you. He’s more vocal, louder, as he fucks you into the window and the sound of him, his pleasure, his pleasure in you, stirs you. You’re fucked out and weak but your desire renews your force. You squeeze your walls against him and he curses.
“Shit.”
You do it again and a tiny chuckle bubbles up in his throat.
“Baby, you are dangerous. You’re—fuck, hngh—you’re going to make me come.”
He’s panting and breathy and his hair sticks to his forehead. You wrap you arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, his jaw, bite at his earlobe.
“Isn’t that the point?” you whisper.
A shudder runs through him and he growls, his grip on you tighter, even painfully tight. You pull back to look at him and his eyes are black, his jaw set, his brow furrowed. But he’s still looking at you; his eyes aren’t glazed, aren’t elsewhere, aren’t looking through you. He’s seeing you and you feel naked but not afraid, not exposed. You hold his face and kiss him and he grunts, groans; it’s open-mouthed and sloppy, your breath mingling as your tongues slide past and over each other.
He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours and his stare is so intense, from that alone you would know he was close. He’s cursing lightly, repeatedly, fucking you hard, and then he’s coming, too, with a shudder and an animal groan, guttural and low.
He lowers you both down to the floor and lays you down, kissing you lightly, almost politely, as he brushes your hair from your face. He turns away and stands, disposing of the used condom and grabbing the blanket from the sofa. You just watch him return to you, settling next to you on the floor, covering both your bodies.
You look at the window where your heat and sweat have condensed in an already fading cloud. You laugh and point it out; he laughs, too.
“It’s almost gone already,” he says, watching it shrink, disappear, self-effacing.
You hum. This is usually when you’d feel awkward, make a show of being polite, get up and go but you don’t want to leave; you want to stay right where you are and watch the sun rise with him. You want to yawn and stretch yourself like a cat before curling against him and sleeping through the morning. You want to kiss him both goodnight and good morning. You look at him looking at the window and imagine an entire life with him, spanning years and decades in a second. Your heart beats heavy in your chest and you wonder if he can feel it, if he feels it, too.
When he finally looks back at you, you know. He kisses you like you’re precious, gently traces the shapes of your face with featherlight fingers. You shiver and he pulls you closer into his warm body, pulls the blanket tighter around you.
“Y’know,” he says, pausing to kiss you again. “I’m really glad I went to that party.”
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p1nk-matter · 1 month
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shiggy fluff cause he deserves all the love // inspired by @aslutforfictionalmen's post (here's my interpretation, i also spontaneously wrote this @/3am so his quirk may have been erased not his trauma tho)
‘’There is no reason to be wearing that’’ You laugh as you look at him.
Tenko in a suit has to be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. ‘’It's just a drive-in movie theater’’ You tease and he scoffs.
‘’Yeah well I can’t win, can I? Tracksuits are too casual, I remind you of a busker, remember? And what’s wrong with that by the way, you wish you had their talent–’’
‘’Enough, we’re running late’’ You cut him off but can’t hide your smile when he’s all annoyed lecturing you in a fucking suit.
The movie chosen was cliché, borderline comical especially when you’re accompanied by a tall man with questionable appearance. How you even convinced him to join you is beyond comprehension, most likely because you promised him to play Nintendo Switch, his latest obsession. You’d play with him regardless, a man with a childhood lost, robbed from things you experienced firsthand at a younger age but Tenko couldn’t really see it. You on the other hand recognized it, and through small acts (annoying as such because for some inexplicable reason he always lost to you) you showed him everything he’d missed.
‘’I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year!’’
Ryan Gosling says as you feel a hand squeeze yours tightly, shoulders touching as the night sky glows above the projector. You turn to look at him confused, The Notebook was one of those films you’d seen a million times, failing to evoke powerful emotions after some time but it was still a very satisfying rewatch. Tenko turns his head.
‘’What’s wrong?’’ You say, anxious he might be having another panic attack. You knew how to calm him down but never the extent of it and that scared you.
‘’It’s nothing’’ He whispers, his voice is composed, you note, good.
‘’Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over..’’ Gosling continues.
‘’Can you believe he wrote to her all this time? This is so fucking cruel!’’ he almost shouts, as a couple of heads turn to look at him annoyed.
‘’Oh my god, are you crying over the movie right now?’’ You want to burst out laughing but the stares warn you otherwise, both your tones too loud. You can’t believe what a sucker for romance he is, he always acts all tough but ends up being hungry for love anywhere he can find it. You kind of get it, it also kind of breaks your heart.
‘’I’m so posting this’’ You tease as he wipes his eyes clean with a tissue he had in his pocket.
‘’I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up’’ His voice is shaky but his eyes are glued to the scene, anxious for what’s coming next. Will they make up? Maybe even make out, have sex? Poor him, he’s unprepared for the bittersweet end.
-
The drive back home is silent, you take it he’s still thinking about the film, contemplating its ending, unsure whether he likes it or not.
‘’Sooo.. did you like it?’’
‘’It was ok’’ He feigns indifference and you don’t continue. You allow him to ponder before speaking up, he almost always adds something on his own.
‘’I just think it’s funny she married the other guy, you know.’’ He says.
‘’What was she supposed to do? She didn’t know about the letters, remember?’’
‘’Still, if she really loved him, she should’ve waited, should’ve been alone, grieved on her own. How could she do this?’’ He asks as you sigh.
‘’It’s just a film and people make mistakes. You never know until you tell them.’’
This time he doesn’t continue.
-
‘’So what do you want to do?’’ You ask once you’ve arrived home, it’s already past midnight but both of you are too lively for sleep.
‘’You promised Nintendo’’ He reminds you and you sigh. Not your favorite part of the day but you silently take a seat next to him on the couch.
3 rounds of Mario Kart racing on the Nintendo Switch and Tenko is losing consecutively as he whines frustrated: ‘’Enough!’’
‘’I just don’t understand why you’re always losing’’ You tell him, as far as you know he was unlocking the game levels with ease on his own.
‘’I don’t know, shit, you ask way too many questions today’’ he complains, ‘’I’ll go change, this suit is itching the fuck out of me’’ he continues as you get up.
He finds you scrolling on your phone, a towel wrapped around him, droplets falling from his hair, which he must’ve aggressively ruffled (in failed efforts to dry) as he literally drops his body onto yours, scaring you and making you drop your phone.
‘’Tenko, fuck agh!’’ you groan, ‘’my phone!’’
He was so annoying and on top of that soaking your shirt too.
‘’I’m sorry’’ he smiles, he wasn’t really sorry, he missed you, he thought. Even though you were together the whole day, he still missed you. So much. He couldn’t get enough of you, any moment shared only made him more anxious for your next departure, he wished he could somehow glue you to his skin forever.
You playfully slapped his arm and he retaliated, pinching your nose as you pouted.
‘’Don’t pout’’ he warned, ‘’I'll bite you.’’ But you didn’t listen. He brought his mouth to yours as his teeth sunk on your lower lip, pulling at it and letting it out softly.
‘’Ouch, you douche!’’ You fake pain but he knows he didn’t actually hurt you, he could never.
There was a moment where neither of you did anything, must’ve been less than a minute, before he leaned closer, mouths in close proximity as he noticed your eyes shut.
I want to kiss her, he thought and he did. Soft lips brought to yours, as you immediately kissed him back, cupping his wet neck and bringing his face even closer, deepening the kiss. His arms quivered, threatening to make him lose his balance and fall on top of you, he lost himself every time you kissed him.
His hand slid down your waist, positioning you higher on the couch as your hungry mouth searched for his again, needy breaths escaped your lips, a sight that made him feel the all too familiar pain in his groin, a towel was still draped around him and you were still in your outside clothes.
A peak across the room showed him the window curtains open.
‘’Give me a minute, baby’’ He said as he got up to close them, returning to you with his arms stretched out, ready to move this somewhere more comfortable.
He was awakened by an asleep arm, your weight had fallen on it and he felt numb.
He gently tried to remove it but you moved around and whispered in a raspy voice, god, how much he loved that voice.
‘’What is it?’’ Your tone sounded anxious, were you afraid something was going to happen to him? Could it be that you cared that much?
Without a word he shushed you.
‘’It’s all right, go back to sleep’’ he said moments later, a pain in his chest since he couldn’t tell you that actually yes, there was something on his mind.
‘’You know, you have to tell people how you feel, remember?’ You spoke so wisely, even after an interrupted slumber and he couldn't help but smile.
‘’I know baby, goodnight’’ He said as you sighed and turned around.
For Tenko could not tell you that nothing compared to this, nothing like doing nothing with you and to admit this to himself was a big liability. He would tell you eventually, maybe he’d write it down, he found it easier, but on that day he chose to wrap his arms around you again, risking numbness, than to speak the words.
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hazblog-hoetells · 2 months
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A lot of fics are like "aftercare? You'd be lucky of Vox even handed you a towel" but like listen ok. Listen to me.
Vox is gonna be the one that feels the dopamine drop the most. He's very accustomed to not tying feelings to sex because he's only ever been around toxic people, so he often sees it as a sort of boom, done, that's the end of it. BUT.
This guy's ego is fragile. When one minute his partner is moaning his name and begging for him, and then the next minute acting like nothing happened, it hits him kinda hard. One of his weak spots is thinking he's a passing fad and knowing deep down that his fame and popularity are superficial and that he doesn't have any real connections to other people.
What I'm saying is, you gotta be the one to take the initiative here. Because he really just doesn't think to do it. Even just kissing him or rubbing his back or holding his hand after just has him...confused. And praising him? Oh boy. Whether it's "you did so well" or "that was amazing" his breath catches in his chest and he doesn't know how to respond. He's trying to find a way to sound like he's in control by saying something smug like "Yeah, I know" but he can't, his brain is focusing on what kind of mind games he thinks you're playing. He's not gonna let you get the jump on him.
He doesn't really understand why you're sticking around after you already got what you came(lol) for. His brain just won't make the connection that you like to be around him for reasons other than getting dicked down. You'd have to nearly treat him like a doll for him to get the idea. He's confused the whole time you help him get cleaned up and get something to drink and just lay next to him. He absolutely doesn't hate it, but he just doesn't understand why you're doing it.
Now, while half his mind is in utter turmoil thinking you're playing 5D chess with his brain, the other half is through the fucking ROOF. He won't ever say it out loud but this feeling of being taken care of is doing funny things to him. The more narcissistic parts of him think he deserves that kind of treatment anyway, but there's a weird twist in his chest at the fact that he never asked you to do any of it. You weren't doing it out of any kind of real obligation, he never tried to force you or manipulate you to do it. You acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. It takes him a long time to get used to, but he does start to reciprocate.
He knows what to do, he just has a really hard time letting himself do it. Vulnerability is NOT his strong suit. It's awkward at first, but eventually he takes a lot of pride in it. He likes to "win" at aftercare. Making sure you're cared for gives him a sense of accomplishment in addition to that funny, fuzzy feeling that makes his words get caught in his throat.
This machine is FRAGILE; Handle with care
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piftamere · 1 month
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part fourteen - interrupted (wc : 1.3k words; cw: a little suggestive towards the end, but that’s it :))
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you knocked on the wooden door still high on what you just lived and a bit nervous as to what awaited you behind it.
“come in.” gojo was seating on a red velvet couch, on his phone, and got up to greet you. he looked tired from having just finished performing, a few strands of his hair were sticking to his forehead, his clothes were messy. he was hiding something behind his back that you didn’t see him pick up.
“i wrapped it just for you.” he was smiling, he looked like he was up to something.
he handed you a poorly wrapped gift, with tape placed seemingly at random on the small package. you refrained from making a comment, for once. suspicious, you took it and tore up the packaging, staring at the “gift” for a good 10 seconds, speechless.
“now that you’ve seen us play twice you’re obviously a huge fan of us, and of me, so here” with the stupidest smile on his face.
“a signed cd of your album…” you just stared at it mouth agape and looked back up at him, dumbfounded.
“it’s sold out everywhere, you know, and the poster inside is autographed too, you’re very lucky.” you were still silent, his smile widened and he burst out laughing. “if you could see your face right now!!” he was clutching his stomach, howling with laughter at his own joke.
come on it’s not that funny…
you punched his arm hard, not hard enough to hurt even if a small, tiny part of you wanted to. he pretended to be in pain, whining like the over the top person he was, before reaching in a bag next to the coffee table and handing you another gift, this time not wrapped for obvious reasons.
“you can keep the other one, you’re welcome” he winked, visibly very proud of himself. "for your collection"
it was a mug, shaped like a cat, a maneki-neko to be exact.
“what? how did you know?”, you sat down on the couch and he flopped down next to you.
“i don’t know if you remember, when we met, there was this one song i really liked and you didn’t want to tell me what it meant for you. i wasn’t really looking since you told me it was private, i didn’t want to pry you know. but i found this interview you did, for a blog i think, in it you explained a bit of the meaning and mentioned this.” he gestured to the mug in your hands
“isn’t that interview kinda old?”
“okay maybe i looked a little”, he looked at you with a smile as you chuckled.
wait… you chuckled??
there’s a beat of silence as you examined the mug in your hands, remembering how you used to collect stuff like this as a kid whenever you went somewhere.
“i said i collected tacky mugs, this one’s not that tacky it’s cute!!”
“sorry i have such good taste” he shrugged, grinning. “i saw it in the window of a store and thought of you.”
“thank you. i’ll have to start collecting them again now.”
gojo examined you for a minute, as if he was wondering if he could pry now.
“why did you stop?” he was looking at you but you were still staring at the cat shaped object, “i’m embarrassed… don’t laugh ok?” you turned to face him, suddenly very serious, he nodded, intently listening “an ex made fun of me for it”, he huffed out a laugh.
“what did i just say?”
“come on that was barely a laugh… and it wasn’t at you” you tilted your head, confused, “it’s just funny how we all do stupid shit when we’re in love”
“even you?” you sounded slightly mocking, you were having a hard time picturing it, he didn’t answer, instead playing with his rings.
“gojo?” this time your tone was softer, worried that you might have offended him just now.
“oh sorry i was… lost in thought i guess.”
“you can think?” you gasped
he elbowed you, pouting, as you laughed.
“we can change the subject if you want.”
he seemed lost in thought again but before you could bring him back he spoke.
“it’s ok. i was in love once and it ended badly. end of story.” he shrugged again, looking a little defeated.
“why did you break up?”
“she was getting harassed, threatened too, by our ‘fans’. she broke up with me ‘cause she couldn't deal with it anymore, and i get it… i think. i decided to avoid serious relationships since then.”
“i made a similar decision after my last relationship.”
“so no more dating for you?”
“nope. not until i’m satisfied with where i am in my career.” he hummed in response, “do you have a specific goal in mind? like sell 'x' amount of albums, or go on tour, before you’ll be satisfied?”
you thought about it for a moment, “no not really…”
“so how will you know?” it was his turn to tease you now.
“are you seriously criticizing the logic behind my decision? mister ‘one heartbreak and i became a whore’?”
he gasped, like you knew he would, “how dare you! i’ve had enough, get ready to face the consequences of your words!” he charged forward and started tickling you until you could barely breath and were laughing uncontrollably.
“stop! stop! i surrender, i take it back, you’re not a whore.” you said in between laughs holding up your hands, as he let you breath, laughing too.
neither of you said anything for a minute as you settled next to each other, still chuckling, the silence was comfortable but you didn’t want the conversation to end just yet, not when you felt like you finally caught a glimpse of who he really was.
you looked up at him, catching him already examining your features, but he didn’t look away. you felt your face heat up, still you kept his gaze.
he was leaning in closer, shit shit shit what’s going on, and you weren’t moving away??
your shoulders bumped and your eyes darted back and forth from his own to his lips who seemed impossibly close to yours now, were his eyes always this pretty? they looked unreal, mesmerizing, like you could drown in them, like you would willingly drown in them if he let you. he stopped, his breath fanning on your skin, his eyes were glued to your lips, you couldn’t think straight anymore.
maybe you were okay with what was happening.
maybe you wanted it.
maybe you had wanted it for a long time.
suddenly the door swung open and you were brought back to reality.
a girl appeared, an ipad in hands, and if looks could kill, you’d be 6 feet deep. she rolled her eyes directly at you.
“’toru, they’re waiting for you.”
he sighed and fell back against the sofa, running a hand over his face. “i’ll be right there, wait outside. and i told you to stop calling me that.”
“no, you have to come right now.” she stood her ground, staring daggers at you.
oh, got it. you were probably gonna regret doing this later, but you didn’t care right now.
you placed your hand on gojo’s thigh, making sure that she could see, and his eyes shot open.
you checked the look on her face before looking at him through your eyelashes, pouting your lips slightly “but… i haven’t properly thanked you yet, ‘toru.”
he short-circuited, you thought, because he stopped moving. still you wouldn’t back down.
you traced your fingers up his thigh, in a walking motion, and hooked them on one of his belt loops before whispering loud enough for her to hear.
“guess we’ll have to continue this another time.”
your eyes were glued on gojo’s shocked expression, but you knew she was fuming.
you waited for a moment before finally adding, “you can go.”, breaking the spell he was under.
“you sure?” he visibly gulped.
you nodded in response, and he unwillingly got up. as he was walking through the door he glanced back and caught you watching him leave. you heard him laugh in the hallway.
“fuck.” you whispered, once they were far enough to not hear.
[tldr : gojo gives you two gifts, one dumb and one thoughtful, in his own way, you get closer but a girl interrupts you and you toy with gojo a little to piss her off.]
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fun facts
y/n has pretty bad decision making skills
in the interview, from a year ago, y/n explained that her song 'before you can' represented her fear of commitment (shocker!) and she told a few anecdotes about her childhood and her silly little dating life
when y/n told nobara, she thought it was hilarious but stupid
author's note
my editing skills are deplorable :o
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⋆⭒˚。⋆ tugging on heartstrings ⋆⭒˚。⋆
as an aspiring solo artist, you dream of making it big in the music industry. With your talent and unwavering determination, you find yourself entangled in a web of romantic pursuits amidst rumors and betrayal. Will you emerge unscathed and manage to navigate your love life in the chaos of fame?
Part fourteen - Next
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rbs and interactions are highly appreciated <3
taglist : open :) to be added leave a comment on the masterlist of the smau
@lysaray @swissy23 @d6za1 @minzxec @sleepy-waffle @saturn-alone @dreamxiing @selysixn @reiluvr @lavender-hvze @mellozhi @cre8inghavoc @ichorstainedskin @inosfavgf @k4sss133 @taelattecookie @cheese-enjoyer9471 @wateronlyhaha @sonicsolos @bkgs-girl @colortheoryrocks @kinkybandages @woahguy278 @cuteandohsodeadly @weewooooweew @peqch-pie @myguumi @r0ckst4rjk @jun1p3rlol @juliiizh @seikamuzu @theweirdfloatything @h3xi2g0n3 @xbarrjallenx @0range-juiceee @notsaelty @aaryaxvz @lullingmelody
if you're name is crossed out i couldn't tag you, if it's not fixed in a week i'll remove you sorry :(
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flwrshee · 11 months
Text
✉️ SECRET
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duo ﹒ sunghoon x fmr genre brother’s best friend , fluff wc 1,4k warnings cursing , kissing
groaning at your chemistry homework, you hear your brother’s screams from downstairs. all you wanted to do was your long essay that had to be submitted tomorrow, in peace. that too from a teacher your strongly disliked. what did your brother really want now?
“what do you want?” you ask him while standing in front of him, unfazed.
“my friends are coming over so you better mind your own business while they are here.” he tells you, sternly.
“yeah whatever, its not like im going to talk with them” you respond while walking away, annoyed by the fact that he hates you interacting with any male but him.
you end up going into the kitchen and getting a glass of water. while drinking it you hear the door of your house open, as voices of multiple men could be heard.
“hey yn” jake, one of your brother’s friends says to you while coming over to you.
“hi jake” you tell him, embarrassed as your in your pyjamas.
heading up to your room, you feel someone graze your waist as you past the sofa. shocked, you look back but all you see is heeseung, jay, jake and sunghoon talking.
before turning back sunghoon stares at you and slightly giggles under his breath while your face turns red with nervousness.
"yn? are you alright?" jay asks you, looking concerned.
"im fi-"
"she's fine, my sister is probably overreacting, heeseung tells him while cutting you off. you flip him off while going upstairs, muttering curse words under your breath.
"is yn in here?"
"get out."
"why pretty girl?"
"because im doing my work."
"yea right, im way more important that work."
"no you are not park, so please go away."
he sits on your bed while getting comfortable and stares at you from head to toe.
"what are you looking at? its just me in my shorts and shirt" you tell him while obviously rolling your eyes.
"can i not stare at my pretty girlfriend?" he responds back with a wide smirk plastered on his lips.
"if my brother catches you in my room hoon, we are dead" you forcefully tell him, emphasising on the word ‘dead’.
"i can just tell him that we are dating" sunghoon replies back with a calm face.
signalling the seat next to him, he taps it while gesturing for you to sit next to him.
"no hoon, im not fucking risking it" you say with a stern expression.
without caring about your opinion, he grabs you by the waist making you sit on his lap as he puts his hands around your hips. you look at him with shocked eyes and a wide mouth.
"let me go, park!"
"nope, your staying here with me"
as the two of you endlessly bicker, you and sunghoon could hear faint footsteps coming closer to your room, funny enough, they sounded exactly like your brother’s.
since you were little, you had memorised your whole family's footsteps in case one of them caught you on your ipad instead of sleeping. guess all that effort paid out because all you could think of right now was shoving a grown ass men in your wardrobe acting as if nothing happened.
thinking on your feet was something you weren't very good at, so you practically pushed sunghoon into a cabinet full of dreses and shoes while being calm infront of your older brother, someone with great anger issues.
"did you see sunghoon anywhere?" that was the first sentence your brother decides to ask you while the certain someone is in your closet.
"nope, i have been doing my work all this time." you say spitting lies straight out of your mouth. 'he is in the fucking room right now' you wanted to say.
"ok, tell me if you see him" he tells you while walking out of your room making you sigh in relief.
"park sunghoon, get out" you say in an irritated tone, hoping for him to get out.
however to your dismay, sunghoon grabs your hands and ends up with you in the closet.
"what the hell?" you say confused and scared if your brother might storm in here again.
"why are you mad at me today?" he asks you while drooping his head low, a habit he had whenever he felt sad.
cupping his cheeks with your two hands you look at his shiny eyes and tell him, "i'm just worried for you hoon, my brother would be mad at me if he finds out but he'd do even worse to you, i don't want that happening to you"
"you little emotional girl, i have these fists to use if i ever get into a fight" sunghoon says while showing you his fists, pretending to fight someone.
mumbling a small 'you are so cute' under your breath, you drag sunghoon and yourself out of the small, confined space.
"you better go back down before heeseung starts calling the police because he doen't know where you are" you manage to inform him while shooing him out of your room.
"but," sunghoon pauses, "you forgot something"
"what now hoon?" you question him, genuinely confused.
he starts pointing towards you and his lips while making his puppy eyes he knew you couldn't resist. you could not give in. you had to resist the urge.
"i'm not sure, tell me" you knew he hated asking for things like this, you caught him out well.
"you know what i want, should i just give it to you?" he says with a slight smirk while walking dangerously close to you.
"hoon no, do not come near me" with a shaky voice, you didn't want to be seen.
caught up in your thoughts, sunghoon's hand were already on your waist while another one cupped your jaw. your hands went automatically around his neck while his lips perfectly fit on yours.
he savoured them like he was hungry, it was as if he hadn't kissed you in days, which, was partly true. the kiss was full of love and you knew he had missed you so much. your lips were probably swollen by the time the kiss was over.
"i missed you so fucking much, " he tells you while cupping your cheeks, "i can't be without you for more than a day"
"more than a day, huh?" someone's voice seeps into your bedroom, as you both look out to find who it is.
"heeseung?"
"hyung?"
you both at the same time in shock and fear, what would your brother do to sunghoon? while he wondered what he would do to you.
"hyung, i can explain everything i promis-"
cutting sunghoon off, your brother says, "you two didn't think i knew? making it so obvious with the glances across the room and sunghoon going into your room? get a room, please"
your honest reactions were a mixture of confusion and slight relief. both of you really thought you hid it well. out of everyone, your brother had to catch the two of you out. how more stupid could you guys be?
"wait? so your aren't mad?" you ask him with genuine concern.
“why would i be mad at you, silly,” while lightly flicking your forehead, “yeah i was worried about what that thing would do to you,” pointing in sunghoon’s direction, “but i trust him now”
both you and sunghoon are still in utter shock, your brains cannot comprehend the fact that you two have been hiding this relationship from heeseung only for him to have known this whole time.
"i still can't believe it" sunghoon says to heeseung while shaking his head in utter shock.
"just because i know doesn't mean you two start making infront of me now, go to sunghoon's house please" your brothers tells you both while emphasising 'me'.
embarrassed, you tuck your head into sunghoon's chest while shooing heeseung out of your room as sunghoon wraps his hands around your waist.
your face still in his chest you say to him, "we should have hidden it better, you probably blew our cover"
"hey, don't put the blame on me now we both know that you practically begged me to facetime you at one in the morning, heeseung hyung probably heard your silly giggles at night"
looking up at him, you give him a cheeky smile and peck his lips before running out of your room with red cheeks, awkwardly trying to cover your face.
sunghoon and you loved each other so much, shy romantics who were inlove was what heeseung decided to call you both. he wasn't wrong.
© flwrshee
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marnerparty · 3 months
Text
young stud
Connor Bedard x reader
_connorbedard
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_connorbedard📍Nashville
tagged adamfantilli
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adamfantilli my dude!
yourusername no it’s ok… I wasn’t there either… I don’t wanna be featured…
_connorbedard being around me 24/7 wasn’t enough? 😐
yourusername no.
_masonmctavish23 Jesus just tell him you love him yn
yourusername we are JUST best friends
trevorzegras yeah, and i’m cleaner than jamie
_masonmctavish23 where tf did you come from!?
jamie.drysdale don’t bring me into this
yourusername hey all you ducks get outta here. tilli is comin to Anaheim not C-Dog
adamfantilli we have no idea where either of us are going to end up yn
_connorbedard SEE
user1 sorry the Blackhawks are gonna draft you
colton.dach 👀
yourusername even he knows you’re going #1
_connorbedard yn we still just don’t know
espn congrats on the success & good luck tomorrow finding out who your next team will be!
madi_bedard 🤘🏻
user2 boutta be the biggest bust the NHL has ever seen
yourusername and you’ve done what in your life exactly?
trevorzegras yn responding to haters >>>>>
_connorbedard please do not encourage this
yourusername hi, I’m yn. I think we’ll be great friends
trevorzegras nice to meet you, I’m trevor & likewise. let’s hang out sometime
biznasty 🤠🤠🤠
barzal97 kiddd
yourusername 😍😍😍
_connorbedard don’t say what you want to rn.
_connorbedard please.
_connorbedard I beg you.
trevorzegras yn, you are your own person. if you want to embarrass yourself and tell mat you think he’s hot do it.
barzal97 now I feel like I shouldn’t be here
user3 connor sucks
_masonmctavish23 🦅🦅🦅
_connorbedard those are Eagles
_masonmctavish23 connor wtf. that’s a smart-ass comment that should come from yn not you
_connorbedard he limited the amount of times i can comment on his Instagram posts. this is actually yn. I took connor’s phone
trevorzegras oh my god we will be amazing friends
yourusername
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yourusername I couldn’t be more proud 🫶🏻
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_connorbedard thank you for your never ending support yn ❤️
nhlblackhawks who’s the new guy?
yourusername some bum. probably shouldn’t make the team tbh
_connorbedard what happened to “couldn’t be more proud”
yourusername 🤫
adamfantilli it’s been a ride 🤘🏻
_connorbedard love you long time brother 🫡
cubs welcome to the Windy City Connor!
kentjohnson.13 YOU DID IT C!
_connorbedard miss you 🫶🏻
trevorzegras yn panicking rn trying to make this comment section abt her
yourusername fuck you trevor
barzal97 she’s aggressive isn’t she?
yourusername 🫢😮
trevorzegras look what you did Mat 🙄
barzal97 ??????
yourusername he’s referring to the fact you put the attention on me
barzal97 didn’t he start it by pointing it out in the first place?
trevorzegras watch it.
yourusername besties, please. this is no place to fight
user1 yn 🤝🏻 hockey boys
Liked by yourusername
lululemon #1 brand —> #1 pick! congrats Connor!
yourusername @lululemon free clothes?👀
_connorbedard wtf?? it’s MY brand deal bud
lhughes_06 your relationship is confusing
user2 honestly fuck connor bedard
yourusername Connor has asked me very nicely to not respond to haters & be rude so I cannot say anything to you that I want to, but just know, I really want to.
trevorzegras I am so proud of your growth
yourusername i love Connor, what can I say
yourusername
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yourusername bestie is the big 1️⃣8️⃣ 🫶🏻
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user1 about goddamn time
jackhughes wtf how is this kid just now an adult
trevorzegras now you guys can do it !
yourusername TREVOR
yourusername NOT FUNNY
adamfantilli I still can’t believe Yn’s a cougar
yourusername I’m a year older 😪 chill.
_masonmctavish23 SO YOU ADMIT YOU’RE A COUGAR
trevorzegras WE GOT HER
colton.dach YN LIKES CONNOR
user2 AHHHHH
lululemon Happy Birthday Connor! 🎉
user3 I love you plz marry me
quentinmusty happy birthday CB !!
_connorbedard 😚😚😚 miss u
trevorzegras super sus 👀
adamfantilli someone check on yn
_connorbedard thank you ynn <3
Liked by yourusername
lhughes_06 love birds
yourusername I’ll kill you Lucas
lhughes_06 come at me yn
trevorzegras Luke what have you done
trevorzegras yn will protect connie wonnie boo-boo bear at all costs
yourusername you’re dead too Zegras
user3 all these adults obsessing over some teens
_masonmctavish we are NOT obsessed
user3 def are
_masonmctavish NO
user3 yes.
jamie.drysdale mason wtf are you doing
barzal97 happy birthday kid!
_connorbedard thank you 🙌🏻
yourusername added to their story!
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yourusername
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yourusername besties trip!!
tagged trevorzegras
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trevorzegras 😚😚😚
jamie.drysdale IS THIS A THING
trevorzegras ????
yourusername 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
user1 Matching tattoos & a trip? Too sus
colton.dach I THOUGHT YOU LIKED CONNOR
adamfantilli WHAT HAPPENED
user2 whore
trevorzegras watch your mouth
barzal97 I’m officially out 😔
yourusername NO
yourusername COME BACK
yourusername You’re always #1 😘😘😘
_connorbedard No invite is crazy
yourusername make up for it when I get back?
_connorbedard I guess 🙄
user3 tension?!!!
user4 this girl sucks
_connorbedard Get outta here
madi_bedard GORGE
yourusername ughhh I’m in love with you
user5 *with your brother
_masonmctavish ^^^^
_connorbedard
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_connorbedard can’t take her anywhere
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yourusername added to their story!
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yourusername
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yourusername go Blackhawks!
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jackhughes WHAT
trevorzegras why are we acting surprised
luke_hughes06 HE’S A CHILD
yourusername you’re a child
ryanwhitney6 MY EYES
colton.dach you dirty liar
adamfantilli “there’s nothing between us”
nhlblackhawks “we’re just best friends”
trevorzegras Even the team is invested in this 😐
biznasty Connor you dirty dog
yourusername 40 yr old in the comment section 🥱
biznasty Connor she’s mean
yourusername who knew biz was whiny
barzal97 what about us 😔
yourusername Mat he can be gone in 5 seconds
trevorzegras Connor wonnor has a girllll friendddd
_connorbedard Yeah that’s one more than you 🤠
yourusername 🫣
jamie.drysdale Yikes getting roasted by a 12 yr old
trevorzegras JAMIE!? BE ON MY SIDE
jamie.drysdale that was kinda a dig at both of you
trevorzegras I don’t care care it should only be a dig at HIM
yourusername trouble in paradise 😬
_connorbedard
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_connorbedard a full trip around the ☀️
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biznasty Are you 30 yet?
_connorbedard just turned 19 bud
yourusername lover 😚
_connorbedard ❤️❤️
user1 🤮
user2 mans pulled a baddie like yn … let me know your ways
madi_bedard sista sista
madi_bedard I’m stealing her
yourusername im yours <3
trevorzegras and Connor’s and Mat’s ?
yourusername yes.
colton.dach yn > Connor 🤷🏼‍♀️
olivermoore11 agreed.
titobeauvi91 she has a more pleasant presence
_connorbedard wow TEAMMATES thank you!
jamie.drysdale YOU’VE BEEN DATING A YEAR!?
luca.fantilli That’s gotta be illegal
trevorzegras Not so team Connor and yn now huh Jimmy
yourusername oh please you wouldn’t have known we were dating if I didn’t tell you
barzal97 🤘🏻
user3 you need someone better than yn
trevorzegras lol good luck finding anyone better
barzal97 she’s a national treasure
jamie.drysdale haters will be haters
_connorbedard too bad I love her 🤷🏼‍♀️
yourusername boys stop it I’m blushing ☺️
adamfantilli he said the L word 🤢
A/N I’m … back ??
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jediskywalkerblog · 1 month
Text
public - hayden christiensen
Hey my lovely people! I’ve just finished uni for the summer and I’m slowlyyy getting back into writing so here’s a lil’ drabble <333
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A/N: no smut just pure fluff from this beautiful man🥹🫶🏼
Warnings: age gap.
• you and hay had been keeping your relationship away from the eyes of the public for quite some time, the two of you are happy with the private life.
• it comes to a point where the two of you really struggle to keep your relationship on the down low when the paparazzi start photographing hay on the street with you just going about your normal daily things.
• you’d see instagram and TikTok posts like ‘who is hayden christiensen’s new girlfriend’, ‘stunning young girl spotted with hayden christiensen’ and ‘hayden christiensen’s new mystery girl’…
• you and hay both know it’s time to let go of your little secret when the production and promotion of his new series ‘obi-wan’ begins. You both know the press will be crazyyy!
• “hay look at all of these comments” I say as I show hayden the newest suspicions about our relationship whilst we lay on the couch.
• A news story titled ‘hayden christiensen’s new girlfriend. Young enough to be his daughter?’ The two of you do have a bit of an age gap but neither of you had ever considered the hate you’d get from it. To you, age is just a number.
• “just ignore them baby, I know it’s hard” hay says as he pulls you into his chest… “no one knows the love we have for each other” he says as he pulls you in for a kiss on his soft lips.
• “hay, I think it’s time we introduce me to the world” I say as I look into his deep blue eyes. He gives me a serious look as he looks down at me.
• “I’d never say no is that what you want baby, but are you sure? The press might get worse” he asks me concerned as he pulls my soft hair out of my face.
• “I’m sure, we can’t hide our relationship anymore, especially now there’s going to be way more cameras on you” you say as you know that he’ll be promoting the new ‘Obi-Wan’ series very soon.
• “ok beautiful, I’m sure I’ll be able to bring you on a talk show with me. You can be my assistant” he says winking down at me right before we both burst out laughing.
• “sexy assistant I hope” you joke as the two of you lay and cuddle on the sofa…
• They day finally comes, the day you’re being introduced to the world, it’s not the world your worried about. It’s Hayden’s fans… what of the don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough for their beautiful Anakin Skywalker?…
• I’m bought away from my thoughts when the makeup lady tells me that she’s finished and there’s 10 mins until we’re live. I’m shaking like a leaf.
• Hayden gets up off the little sofa he’s been sat on waiting so patiently for me to get my makeup done. “You look beautiful” he says as he takes my hand, he feels me shaking. “Don’t be nervous baby, I’ll be next to you the whole time.”
• “it’s not the show I’m worried about” I say as I look up at Hayden, he gives me a concerned look… “it’s your fans, what if I’m not good enough?” I blurt out causing Hay to chuckle.
• “not funny hay” you say as you give him a playful punch whilst the two of you burst out laughing. “It’s a little funny babe. They’ll love you. They’ll love you because I do.” He says before planting a little kiss on my forehead.
• “5 mins until showtime” a lady says as she walks in with her clipboard.
• “it’s time hay.”
• “it’s time baby.” Is all he says as he takes my hand and leads me onto the stage.
Heyy lovelies, I’m currently laughing at myself because this was meant to be like a mini Drabble but it ended up being an entire imagine… this is what happens when I write at 10:30 at night🤣. In my feels I guess🫶🏼
Let me know if you guys want a part two via the ask button <33 - @jediskywalkerblog 🚀✨🛸
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