Tumgik
#ok not ALL of them maybe just like I/II/BBS/III
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seeing people reblog my posts and then put every last one of my tags in their rb’s tags is very quickly becoming a lesson in me needing to shut the fuck up sometimes
#snap chats#not on these text posts though aint no one rbin these AHAHAAHA#i dont even know why people do it i cant possibly think of why#like its not a DEFAULT thing like i know on mobile youd have to tap every tag at least#very strange#i hate having to scroll a mile through my notifs though like Alright I See Now I Talk A Lot#i like sharing my thoughts is that such a crime NO it isnt#it different when i do it on my own posts its cause theres a Read More so im not subjecting everyone to my rambling bullshit every time#if you subject yourself to my verbiage thats on you and i thank you for reading my garble <3#OH YEAH ALSO its the 20th anniversary soon innit like fifty minutes away#i unno what ima do :V#i thought i was going to hang out with my friend- jk i knew something would come up but thats a different can of worms#i unno ill think of somethin. or not LMAO i unno maybe ill just replay all the kh games#ok not ALL of them maybe just like I/II/BBS/III#i know i can play those pretty quick- ok maybe except III i havent really cared enough to look up proper speedrun tricks for it#also i can only really speedrun terra's story in BBS so hmmmm#i unno maybe ill just replay KH2 again LMAO i know i literally replayed it twice in the past three days but hey#its special to me it was a major part of my childhood and my kh experience#though tomorrow's the anniversary for the first game hmm.. yeah i could def speedrun those two back to back#I UNNO I ALSO GOT STUFF TO DO but im the champion of making time when it doesnt exist#thats enough prattling though i went WAY off topic point is I Will Not Change About Rambling On My Art Posts#i just wanted to complain about having to be reminded that i talk way too much aha gottem i'm insufferable#k bye i think ima scribble somethin quick fore bed idk im full of bread and feeling terrible
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dilliebar · 4 years
Text
The Story of Dinah: A TLOUP2 Theory
Hey guys! So during this quarantine I’ve been looking for stuff to do to keep myself busy, and among playing The Last of Us for the billionth time I also decided to continue analyzing the content we’ve gotten so far. Tbh I gave up a while ago trying to find out what’s gonna happen in TLOU2, but after one google search, though, I actually think I’ve found a pretty solid theory that explains a lot of what we saw in the trailers/screenshots/etc.
!!! Note that this does include content from the leaked gameplay videos and from the leaked screenshot that surfaced a while ago. only read on if you’re okay with knowing spoilers !!!
**Note: I was not raised around a specific religion and my only knowledge of the subject has come from what I’ve read on the internet and the information I’ve gained from different Jewish and Christian interpretations of the passages talked about in this theory. None of these are my personal opinions and please correct me if anything is misinformed. Thank you.
So the majority of us know that something is going to happen to Dina and/or Ellie, and the first question is, what?
Well, obviously what’s different from the original game and p2 is that p2 is going to have to do a lot more with religion, as Dina is confirmed to be Jewish and we also have the Christian group, the Seraphites. The theme of religion is pretty much the basis of this theory, and it all starts with the origin of Dina’s name.
Now when you probably saw the title of this post you were like “yo that’s not how you spell her name”, and that, my friend, is where you’re wrong. After digging a little bit into the origination of Dina’s name, I found that it stemmed from the Hebrew name, Dinah. The first famous holder of this name was a woman who had a small, yet significant role in one of the books of the Jewish bible (or the Torah, please correct me if I’m wrong). Now, I would’ve written this off as a coincidence, but after looking into the story of Dinah I noticed some similarities between her story and bb Dina.
The passage basically tells the story of Dinah, who ventures out to meet the people of the world, and while doing so is sexually assaulted by the prince of Shechem. When her two brothers hear about this, they’re enraged, and slaughter all of the men in the city and rescue her.
The reason this caught my eye is because Dina and/or Ellie being sexually assaulted is a pretty common theory among the fandom right now, and after applying this to the trailers, screenshots, leaked footage, and the leaked screenshot, it makes a lot of sense, especially with Dina being Jewish. So without further ado, let’s look at what this means for the story.
                                               I. What Happened
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So if we’re following the original story of Dinah, the first thing that would happen is that Ellie and Dina head out on patrol the night after their kiss. Obviously this would mostly serve as a tutorial-like introduction, but it would also serve as the setup for the rest of the game. This is where the basement scene comes in, in which both of them are attacked and/or assaulted, and for whatever reason, they take Dina and Ellie escapes.
A lot of people have been speculating that the game revolves around the sole idea of revenge, and while Ellie’s clearly pretty jazzed off about whatever happened in the gameplay and release date trailers, it’s likely more of a “side quest” aside from her actual goal: to get Dina back. Naughty Dog games in the past, including The Last of Us, have always had a certain goal in mind that you’re working towards throughout the game. This also aligns with the story of Dinah, as she isn’t killed, but taken.
In addition to the supporting story, much of the leaked footage aligns with this, as well. For example, in the leaked gameplay in which Ellie wakes up bruised and beaten in a theater and calls out for Dina and Jesse, but why would Dina be there? If Ellie’s main goal is to get revenge on the group who wronged them, then neither Dina nor Jesse being there would make a whole lot of sense unless they all just want to have one big traumatic experience together; however, if Dina was taken, it would make sense as to why Ellie and Jesse would go after her, because they both have strong feelings for her, want to get her back, and want to seek vengeance. At the same time, by the cuts and bruises littering Ellie’s back, we can see that something clearly went down very recently, which was likely the rescue of Dina. We can also confirm that this wasn’t a dream or some wacky acid trip, too, because in the leaked screenshot we can see Ellie and Dina exploring Capitol Hill in Seattle together.
Now of course we all want to know that Ellie and Dina live happily ever-after, and this might (?) be true according to the story of Dinah, in which both of the brothers (represented here by Ellie and Jesse) return safely home with Dinah. Since this is where the story ends, is this where the game takes a twist? Possibly, but we’ll never know for sure until we play it. 
                                               II. Whodunnit?
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Alright, so I’m gonna break this down into the two groups that are confirmed to be in The Last of Us 2: the Seraphites and the WLF. Though none of this is stemmed from the story of Dinah, the biblical meanings behind their names matched up pretty darn well with what we know about them already. 
Now, the thing is, after trying to look up the Hebrew origination of the word “seraphite”, I found that it wasn’t actually a word at all. What I did find, however, was the definition of the word “seraph” which is “of the highest order of the nine-fold celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity”, with another description being a “six-winged angel”. The Latin suffix, “-ite”, means to be a follower. In other words, the Seraphites see themselves as either messengers or followers of god. This description makes a lot of sense, as in the trailer with the mystery-woman, the Seraphites say to “clip her wings” in reference to Yara.
When it comes to the WLF, the meaning behind their name is much more simple. As we can recall from the gameplay trailer, we hear the Seraphites shout out “WOLF!”. In addition to this, poster released shortly after the mystery-woman trailer portrays a wolf shaped by flames. Thus, I decided to look up the biblical meaning of a wolf, as the two groups are likely at odds. Unsurprisingly, the term “wolf” is generally used to describe those who pray on the weak.
After looking at these two groups, I concluded that the culprit is ultimately the WLF for a few reasons:
1. The meaning of the wolf in a biblical context (which was first mentioned to describe one of Dinah’s other brothers, by the way)
2. In the release date trailer, we can definitely see the attire of those who attacked the two. They’re wearing jackets; the man who initially attacked Ellie is wearing a cap. If we look at the gameplay trailer, the Seraphites distinctly wear robes, and so they are likely out of the question.
3. In the release date trailer, Tommy says “you don’t know how large that group is; how armed” all the while displaying a group of men with guns, and one verrrryyy important dude that I haven’t really seen a lot of people talking about. And that is this guy: 
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OK, I know, it doesn’t seem like that big of a revelation but take a look at this guy’s face, and then scroll back up to the beginning of this section. Look similar? They’ve got the same hair, skin tone, attire, etc. In addition, the people with guns in the photo also have similar attire and weaponry to those in the release date trailer. At the same time, in the basement scene, we can also see a man in similar attire and a similar skin tone holding Ellie down (though to be fair, we can’t see his face, and so this may not be the same guy, but the attire definitely separates them from the Seraphites). 
Did maybe the Seraphites get a lil’ chilly and decide to wear jackets if the attacked Ellie and Dina? Maybe, but my bet’s on the WLF.
                                   III. Patching Up the Plotholes
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Alright, so this theory definitely leaves a couple of plotholes that I wanna possibly cover (though it should be noted that these are speculation):  
1. As we see multiple times in both the screenshots and gameplay, Ellie entered Seattle alone. Where did Jesse come in?
2. Joel is in multiple screenshots, and also talks to Ellie in the release date trailer. What does he got to do with this?
So first of all, answering the question of where Jesse came in is fairly easy to answer, and it’s that he followed Ellie. As seen in the release date trailer, about a handful of people in Jackson left to go out on patrol other than Ellie and Dina, one of them being Jesse. Given the incident that happened in the basement, I’m guessing Ellie didn’t decide to keep scavenging for supplies and returned to Jackson early in order to recover and spread the news, which means Jesse likely wouldn’t have been back yet, and didn’t hear the news and go after Dina until he returned to Jackson. Then the question of the change in seasons comes into play. If this theory is true, I’m guessing that the basement scene took place near the end of winter, while Ellie/Jesse going to Seattle took place in early Spring, or that Ellie/Jesse left as soon as possible and the journey took longer than expected due to multiple obstacles like what happened in the first game. 
Now, when it comes to Joel, I returned specifically to the story of Dinah. A while after the incident, when Jacob (the father of both Dinah and the brothers) is blessing his children, he expresses his disappointment in the two brothers as “in their anger they slew men” and “cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel”. Based on this, I believe that the multiple screenshots from the game are in the context of Joel expressing his disappointment in Ellie, as she likely went out of her way to kill more people than she had to in order to get to Dina. This also correlates to the reveal trailer in which Joel says “you really gonna go through with this?” and Ellie replies, “I’m gonna find, and I’m gonna kill, every last one of them”. 
                                                  ~Conclusion~
Alrighty, so that’s pretty much it. Again, I don’t know if a lot of the biblical stuff is accurate since I wasn’t raised in a strictly Jewish nor Christian household, but I was intrigued by some interpretations and frankly I really wanted to get this out and see what everyone else thought about it. Please, if you have any additional thoughts about this, correct something I said, or point out any other plotholes, leave a comment! I’m in desperate need for some TLOU2 action.
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ecotone99 · 5 years
Text
[MF] Sunday Scaries
The conversation formatting doesnt hold on reddit copy paste, so its much better read thru link
Linking at Top to not spoil the end - hope thats OK!
https://www.casualblasphemy.com/blog/sundayscaries
------------------------------------------
Jesus Christ and Other Swear words
Volume II: Anxiety Rainbow
A Slower Burn to Fiery Finish. About 10-15 minutes
Chapter 2, 3 or 7, not sure yet.
Chapter III: Sunday Night Scream Into the Void
I lie (awake) to myself
A feeling of impending doom. So many emails. Existential dread and the Sunday Scaries.
I cannot sleep, it is nearly midnight. I have so much to do this week.
I lie awake and try to think of all the embarrassing things other people have done.
I can't think of any, so I go back to remembering my own social failings.
The time I tripped in front of my Crush age 14. My disastrous bangs of just last year. The time I mispronounced Worcheschertshishire in front of my cute coworker. The 23 blocks I walked with toilet paper stuck to my foot and that afternoon tanning in the park with a tampon string dangling from my bikini bottoms. Everyone remembers. I am sure of it. I farted once on a conference call.
Monday is only a few hours away. So many emails and the dishes sit soaking for a third day. I shouldn't have slept in today. I have so much to do tomorrow. I think about every time i've fucked up in my past 30 years.
My anxiety builds and I try again to refocus my attention. I try to remember all the embarrassing things other people have done, but I literally cannot think of any. I sort of remember one of my friends shitting his pants. Was that the day I walked into the sliding glass door. Do you think he remembers? Oh god, was it me that poped my pants? Oh jeez, i said poped, not pooped. Im talking out loud to myself.
Thank god no one is here.
I feel lonely.
----
I eat a CBD chocolate and feel the anxiety of impending doom. So many emails.
I remember. I remember every embarrassing thing I have done in my entire life. I have so much to do this week. So many emails. I have a meeting tomorrow and I don't feel prepared. That time I was left hanging for a high five with my hand in the air. I looked like Hitler with no friends. It is Sunday and life is Scary. So much to do this week. Were they laughing at me? I feel lonely. No one talked to me today. I feel like the Pluto of my friend group.
I decide to crowdsource some self esteem and climb on Tinder.
Left
Left
Right
Match!
Left
Left
Oh damn this guy is hot.
Damn, 5’10
Left
Right
Match!
Left
Left
Right
Match!
Right
Match!
Right
Match!
Every time I swipe right it's a Match. I feel attractive and desirable
Left
Left
ew
Left
Left
Double ew!
Left
Right
Right
Nothing. What!?
I lower my standards
Right
Right
Right
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing
Sunday Feels Scary Again. I have so much to do tomorrow. I don't want to play the game anymore. I fear rejection from strangers. Kinda horny tho. I survey my matches and read messages:
“Hey”
“Wanna Fuck?”
“Nice weather Today”
“Show me your bobs?”
“Nice Feet”
A profile stands out
Blake
6”2’ “Ive never shoed a horse, but I told a Cow to go home once”
I don't really get it, but he's HOT. That fish he caught is HUGE! I climb out of my comfort zone and message first. I've never done this before
“Hey” she wrote with butterflies
….
…….
………..
18 minutes pass. Nothing.
I go back to swiping unenthusiastically
Right
Right
Nothing.
I feel like a Moth in a world of Butterflies. Undesirable.
OH GOD. I research gravity blankets and take a xanax. I think of Cocoons.
I fall asleep lonely horny disappointed anxious and 8% numb. So many emails. Maybe I can do the dishes tomorrow after work, the gym, and picking up my prescriptions. I shouldn't have messaged him. I need groceries. That time I tripped on the bleachers and Becky laughed at me. I run through the grocery list in my head. Eggs, avocados, kombucha, spinach, Shame, paper towels, CBD chocolates. I feel weird.
------
I survive another week with espresso and antidepressants. It was hard. I am so tired. I am so tired all the time. Its sunday night and I feel The Doom coming again. I batten the hatches and prepare to wait out the emotional storm under the weight of my new Gravity Blanket. Its heavy and sweaty and I regret buying it. My anxiety rises to new highs and I feel like an idiot. Thank god no one is here. I feel lonely.
Ping!
Blake: :Me
“Hey ;) still up?”
I think about unmatching to teach him a lesson for not replying to me last week, but digital or not, I really need this distracting attention.
“Maybe ;) whatcha doing?”
Trying not to think about Monday LOL
LOLOL Same Same. Sunday Scaries :o
LOL I KNOW! Just gotta get through this week,
I am getting a puppy on Friday!
Puppy! What kind!?
A Frenchi :) her name is Luna
OMG NEED!
You have any pets?
Nooooo :(
You can come play with mine!
Cats or Dogs?
YES PLZ! I grew up with dogs :)
What was the name of your first pet?
Daisy :) she was so sweet
Awww, where did you grow up?
Seattle, just moved for a new job
It's hard being in a new city!
Well I can show you around!
What is your job?
Never been to Seattle, were you born there?
Born in Suburbia, lol
a little town nearby called Auburn
I work for a company that has meetings
I have a friend from Auburn!
LoL what do you meet about?
No way!
We meet about other meetings
Yea, did you got to Westside Elementary?
Eastside
Oh nice, her mom was a teacher there
Did you have Mrs. Ellison for 1st grade English?
I don't remember a Mrs. Ellison?
I had a Mr. Gardner
Oh lol. U like cars?
Sort of
I just got a new one :)
What was the make and model of your first car?
Wow! You are having quite the year!
Lol 1994 black honda civic. The dream
You sound like a Capricorn
Virgo!
Oh nice, when is your birthday?
August 24th, 1990
Just got a pic of my puppy, wanna see?
OMG YES
206-390-0345
I like Capricorns ;)
Oh god that sounded desperate
Texted you
Didn't get it!
Tried again
Nothing :(
Lol new phone too, I think its fucked tho
Whats your email, I wanna show you my bb pup!
Lol look at you Mr. New
….
……
……..
Did you send it?
…..
Hello?
Fal Asleep? lol
Ping!
An email arrives to my racing heart. He's so inquisitive! New car and a puppy! I wonder what he does for a living? Such a Gentleman, that was a whole hour of texting and he didn't even ask for nudes. I click the notification but my email won't open.
Please login to continue. I type my password “Daisy123”
Incorrect password/email combination
Please try again
Oh, is it lowercase?
******3
Please Try Again
*****3
Please Try Again
******3
Please Try Again
Ugh im so tired, I can't even type right. I'll leave it for morning
--------
MondayVegan Jessica III sleeps well in dreams of Blake, Frenchi’s and Avocados under the weight of her anti-anxiety gravity blanket. She wakes with a smile and grabs her phone eagerly.
Please Try Again
Please Try Again
Vegan Jessica III eats her last free-range Avocado on a piece of whole-wheat gluten-free non-cruelty noGMO carboloaf. Num!
Please Try Again
Fucking Annoying!
I switch over to my work email and begin responding to CC threads as I walk to the train. I meet with my team and we plan our next meeting. We have a great plan to plan.
I get home exhausted. I am so tired. We met for three hours and planned for three more days of planning meetings about meeting plans. I log in to tinder and check my messages. Nothing. I take a xanax and go to sleep. The dishes are molding and i'm out of avocados.
Tuesday
I wake stressed and skip breakfast. I head into work and drink espresso. We meet again to discuss our plan to plan. Everything goes as planned and we adjourn. I get out of work 15 minutes early and swing by CVS Pharmacy for LaCroix and drugs.
Some freak in a fedora oggles my breasts through my oversized sweater. What is he even looking at?
“Hi, yes, prescription pickup for Vegan Jessica III. It should have been called in Monday”
“Sure thing, insurance and ID please. Have a seat, it'll be about 15 minutes”
Pharmacists are just drug baristas, change my mind. I wait 45 minutes for the man in the never-dirtied lab coat to grab a prepackaged bottle of prozac from the wall. I hand him my credit card.
“Im sorry Ma’am, your card was declined, do you have another?”
The word ‘Ma’am’ turns three of my pubic hairs grey. It makes me kind of miss that creep in the fedora surveying my body.
Are you sure? Can you try again
Yes ma’am, the card is declined. Do you have another Ma’am?
Ma’am
Can you try calling them? I left my debit at home and don't have any cash.
I glance at my Fitbit. The time is 6:01pm
Its after 6pm Ma’am, you'll have to wait till tomorrow.
I leave the CVS and the pharmacists spends the next 30 minutes placing the bottle of pills back on the shelf.
----
I go home feeling frustrated. I skip the mailbox, dishes, dustbunnies and head straight for my bed. I pull the gravity blanket over my head like a ghost and feel a little better. I eat a half a pound of CBD chocolate and feel much better.
I log into Tinder. Fucking Blake ghosted. Unmatched. Under my blanket I get scared of ghosts and eat another ¼ pound of CBD chocolate.
Wednesday
I wake feeling like shit. I don't know why. I feel stressed. I call in sick to work and take a xanax and go back to bed. I awake to a phonecall from an unknown number. Fucking spamassrobocalls. I scream FUCK YOU to 1s and 0s. There's a panic rising in my throat.
I haven't checked my personal email in days now and try to log back in. I click password recovery and an email is sent to my old college email | [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Ugh I can't believe I used to eat honey and drink milk with my coffee; I feel ashamed of my former self. It feels like a Sunday, but it's only wednesday.
I try to login to my old college email to recover my password for my post-college email.
I try to remember my old password
Please Try again
I try all my old combinations
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Lockout timer 29:59..
29:58….
29:57….
Ugh I hate this shit.
Trying to recover a password to recover a password. Did I type it wrong? Was it capitalized? Am I just not remembering it right? Was the ‘I’ a “!” ?? Was there 123 at the end, or maybe beginning?
I need to set my passwords to things I can never forget. Maybe take a lesson from Sunday. Shame and Trauma seem to make for fantastic passwords.
MyFatherAbandonedOurFamilyIn1997!
That's not something im likely to forget
I spend the next 29 minutes finally doing the dishes and feel a little better.
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Lockout timer 59:59
FUCK
I hate this shit. I click the password recovery button on my college email and a third is sent to my very first email address. [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
I go to AOL.com and try to login
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
Please Try again
It feels like im opening those Russian Dolls. Every time I open one, another is there. The Russian Nesting Dolls of Digital Frustration. Please Try Again Later.
Recover the password
to recover the password
to recover the password
Please Try Again
I channel my frustration and hit the gym. Pilates class with Pontious. I stop on the way home and Scream into the Void. I feel a little better.
I check the mailbox before the stairs.
I turn the key and an avalanche spills out. Envelope after envelope, it seems unending. They just keep coming. The cascade flow dries to a dribble and I reach inside to scoop the rest of my mail out.
My arms are full of dead trees and I feel sad. Plus its like super heavy after an hour of cross planking. I ascend the stairs and unlock the door with my keys in my mouth. I push the door open with my forehead and dump the heavy mess of envelopes and magazines on the floor.
A Victoria Secret catalogue catches my eye. I make a mental note of my despise for their company message and start perusing the pages. What kind of image are they putting in the heads of young girls. False standards of beauty. Where are the real women! That bra is like super cute tho. I order three in different colors but my card is declined. The bras never come, its ok tho, they wouldn't have fit me anyway.
When my card is declined I think of Blake’s rejection again. Ghosted. What an asshole. Whatever he's probably just another pig who gets off to Victoria Secret models and supports an impossible standard of beauty. I am now convinced Victoria’s real Secret is mainstream distribution of introductory pornography to young boys in suburbia. That's a big mental leap to take from subquality prethought, but I think it's important to note where some of these idolized false standards of beauty start. They start with aging young Mother’s ordering VS products and catalogs to catch renewed interest from their lazily inattentive husbands and trickledown pornoEconomics recycles the catalogs to prepubescent boys. Hidden and stolen, they are a prime middle-school currency. The image of Desire becomes fixed in pubescent development and the path upscycles again.
I throw the catalog away disgusted and pick up my copy of the much more realistic Vogue. I eat more CBD chocolate and forget to call my credit card company. I fall asleep with fragrant advertisements and two miles of photoshop-smoothed Gigi Hadid legs on my face.
Friday
It's a beautiful morning and i'm feeling rested. I don't know what happened to Thursday. We have a brief meeting about next week's meeting and are dismissed early. Summer Fridays are the best! I meet up with my besties and we dress up to impossible standards of beauty.
Thin pink straps patterned with “VS VS VS” loop my shoulders out of my strapless black dress. Clash is in. I think it looks cute even tho the bra doesn't fit well. I lace up my gladiator platform cork wedges and we head out for a night of dancing.
I dance next to my ugliest friend and bask in double attention.
Buy you a Drink?
Wanna Dance?
Ever Ride a Motorcycle?
All eyes on me. I dance and twirl and snort the night away. This cocaine is fantastic. My credit card still doesn't work so I have boys buy me drinks. I black out a bit and wake up in my Uber home. Its light out and the birds won't shut up about the stupid sun. My heart is beating arhythmically and I feel weird. A feeling of impending doom is brewing and it makes me feel weirder - it's not even Sunday.
I sober up a bit, but can't sleep. I decide to finish the vial of cocaine I took from that boy and do some housekeeping.
I take the trash out and open my computer. I feel inspired to clean and conquer.
I will recover my password!
I see a button for ‘alternate recovery options’ on my ancient @aol email and click
A series of questions challenge my identity
“Date of Birth”
August 24th, 1990
“What was the name of your first Pet?”
Daisy
“What was the name of your 1st grade English Teacher?
Mr. Gardner
“What City Were you Born in?”
Auburn
“What was the Make and Model of your First Car?”
1994 Black Honda Civic
And just like that I'm in! I recover my password and recover my password and recover my password.
The russian dolls reassemble and my anxiety plummets
--------
----
---
Until I open Gmail to a Nightmare
The realization grips me. The Saturday Scaries are Real. I spring to the 4 foot foyer of my apartment where the non-fashion-catalog remainder of my mail avalanche sits piled like rubble.
I rifle through envelopes and cut my finger. It really stings. I suckle a droplet of blood and read the envelopes
Chase | Amex | Credit Karma | MasterCard | Kohls Discover Card | ATT | SPRINT | T-Mobile
Bills. Bills of all kinds. Bills of all shapes and sizes. Bills Not mine, but mine. An acre of rainforest in bills.
My iphone rings and my phone wont open. Panic Panic Panic. Saturday Scaries. I pull my bleeding finger from my mouth and the iphone recognizes my face. I answer the call
“Ma’am i'm calling from TransUnion Credit Reporting, we've seen some unusual activity on your report this week, can you confirm opening the following 227 Credit Cards on Sunday between the hours of 11pm and 4am Monday Morning?”
(This phone call 97% actually happened)
My vision spots and I hit the floor.
___
I awake Sunday. My head is throbbing and my finger hurts. I look at the papercut and it stares back with green eyes. It smells like Almond Butter, but the gross GMO kind. I put CBD oil on it and leave the house.
I head to the hospital, but my credit card is declined. My finger is green to the knuckle and it definitely feels like a Sunday.
I head home and curl up in my bed. With my green arm I pull the gravity blanket over my head and cry. I fall asleep feeling scared and not safe.
I wake to pain. The green has spread throughout my whole body. I feel weak. I need to go to work. So many emails.
I feel The DOOM
I try to lift the gravity blanket, but I am weak and it is too heavy.
The longer I stay, the weaker I become. Days pass and I miss meeting after meeting. I sweat profusely trapped inside a cocoon of anxiety. Unseen emails pile up and add to the weight. My phone is out of battery and I can't reach past the blanket for my charger. I need water. I really need water.
I feel The DOOM
I think of blood poisoning and my plummeting credit scoreThe Chrysalis hardens to reject the outside world
It becomes my Tomb. I feel safe here.
Immune to Anxiety
No emails, no meetings.
The DOOM fades to black and so do I.
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