#okay i know im sort of telling you which way to vote here but its more the principle im trying to get across not an actual poll

[cat-clawz]

Here's the catch: this is actually about trans kids going on hormones that affirm their genders. Well?

[hexbugnan0]

aaa nano.

i wanna write some of the intent behind her current actions and why she acts the way she does and the reason she does the things she does but oh my goodness. major spoilers for her backstory.

if i was going to though ill just use the stuff i already have sort of revealed. spoilers for nanobreaker entry 4 im gonna explain the nano bits i put in

hollywood was a really bad time for nano. a lot of it specifically is inspired by bojack horseman and yeah. shes bojack coded herself but. a decent chunk is based off sarah lynn.

^reason for this: nano is like. super self pitying. she has spent the past 3 entries feeling sorry for herself, like a loser. and instead of doing anything abt it she just takes it out on the people around her (atm in entry 2.) it does not help that codebreaker is questioning and second guessing her though. Anyways. nano has two motivations behind voting for atm. ill only explain one of them because the other one is explained by lore later. but. 80% of it was out of anger, and just wanting to feel like she was In Control for once. she is not. shes also just super petty which brings us to

nano is like really immature. she's been sort of childish since entry 1 and shes not gonna stop doing this. this kind of ties into her issues with having responsibilities, as well as um. other parts of her backstory. ok here im going to assume you also read the secret nano comic that you get by clicking the clock.

uhh. ill talk about the conversation she has with synth in the nano intro, because thats where i put the bulk of her lore this challenge. synth convo: synth is still understandably pissed by nano abt the shit she said last challenge. which is fair. it was shortsighted and like. a Very Obvious Lie to everyone on purpose. mostly nano flailing to try and get a sense of control again even though she has no control. So to remedy this, nano apologizes and (she is actually telling the truth in this conversation)

however, um. second part of nano's personality. Shes like. incredibly manipulative with the information she chooses to disclose. she knows synth well enough at this point that disclosing this will make her seem pitiful, and yeah, that goes against her initial attempts to try and seem independent and stuff, but she knows thats a losing battle. at this point the most she can do is to try and gain peoples pity and hope theyll keep sticking with her out of it, as well as use the shitty shit that happened to her to manipulate her way out of the bad things she does (this is a cycle this happens in nano backstory oops)

Anyways she brings up codebreaker and LA next. mostly its to subtly shit talk codebreaker since codebreaker came out of that region, but also its to dump a bit of backstory. and the reason for SecretLeader and also the reason shes been out of it.

she can't take responsibility for her actions ever because shes never actually had to until (unspecified egg incident). and immediately after that she got her responsibility taken away.

im actually going to reveal nanos backstory backwards. from like. most recent all the way back to the hive. which means you guys have to look at pocketwatch first.

pocketwatch is not That complicated shes in the backstory to beat up nano and make her feel helpless enough to join a competition in the middle of nowhere. basically she is nano's (technically current) wife and was emotionally manipulative. thats. all you need to know for Now. When she goes on the spiel abt LA nano is referring to pocketwatch. so yeah take from that what you will. Okay okay so. thats the synth conversation and the bulk of pocketwatch. uhh. most of the codebreaker conversation is actually more codebreaker backstory focused but yeah LA was not good for nano gee i wonder why wow i wonder why serial monogamy why does she fall in that pattern why is she scared of people getting too close to her tune in next time for more deranged limelade lore rambles

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

72 Hours In Montreal [Part I]

A/N: Many moons ago, the incomparably lovely @im-an-adult-ish​ pitched a Montreal concert fic idea (jokingly, I think), and quite a few of my followers fell in love with it. They were even kind enough to vote on which Queen member should be the love interest, and there was a clear winner: John! 

I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and at last, here is the first of three chapters of this new mini-fic. I’m going to tag some of my past readers, but I WILL NOT TAG YOU AGAIN unless you ask me to. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy. 💜

Series Summary: John Deacon is a rock star at a crossroads. Y/N is a world-weary employee at a Yankee Candle shop. They’ll only ever have three short days in Montreal together...or will they??

Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (not graphic). 

Word Count: 6.8k.

Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @culturefiendtrashqueen​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @escabell​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee​ @deacyblues​ @tensecondvacation​ @brianssixpence​ @some-major-ishues​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @youngpastafanmug​ @simonedk​ @rhapsodyrecs​ ​​​ @joemazzmatazz​​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee​​ @namelesslosers​​ @inthegardensofourminds​​ @sleepretreat​​ @hardyshoe​​​ @sevenseasofcats​​ @jennyggggrrr​​ @madeinheavxn​​ @whatgoeson-itslate​​​ @herewegoagainniall​​ @anotheronewritesthedust1​​ @pomjompish​​ @allauraleigh​​  @bluutac​​ @johndeaconshands​​ 

The obnoxious British men are still laughing. The one with the mustache, suspenders, and illogically tight red leather pants is standing on the tiptoes of his equally red Adidas shoes to paw candles off the top shelf so he can sniff them. The blond one has no less than eight jars balanced precariously in his wiry arms. Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing is billowing through the shop speakers.

“Oh my god, he’s gonna break something,” you moan in a whisper, covering your eyes but peeking through your fingers. Your apron is suddenly too tight around your waist; your cheeks are roaring with blood as you envision the inevitable confrontation: Sir, unfortunately you ruined some of our giant tacky overpriced candles and so now you have to pay for them. So sorry. Paper or plastic? We take Mastercard.

“Who?” Kevin asks. He’s holding a broom in one pudgy, pinkish hand and a dustpan in the other. He has surrendered.

“That one. Suspenders and moustache guy. Red shoes guy. Dorothy without Toto.”

Kevin cracks a smile. “That is frighteningly accurate. He is rather whimsical, isn’t he? Maybe he’ll click his heels and disappear back to London or wherever.”

“We aren’t in Kansas anymore,” you mutter in commiseration. Actually, to be perfectly literal, you’ve never been to Kansas in your life.

“Wait, I think I might have met that guy before somewhere.” Kevin squints with great concentration. “He looks oddly familiar…”

“Hm.” You check your eyeliner wings in your reflection in the cash register screen. From what you can tell, they’re every bit as tragically asymmetrical as you remembered. Spectacular.

“Staring won’t make it better,” Kevin notes, very unhelpfully.

“I know,” you reply, miserable, toying with your bangs so you can hide behind them.

“How does that even happen? The right one is practically a 90-degree angle. The left one looks like you drew it on with a Sharpie.”

You groan. “I’ll try to scrub them off during my break.”

“If you’re not too busy helping me sweep glass off the floor, sure,” Kevin says. “I told you, I took an electrical engineering class as an elective once. I could totally take a look at your bathroom.”

“I thought you said you failed that class.”

“No, I said I got a D in that class. Ds aren’t failing.”

“Well now you’ve convinced me.” You scrutinize your reflection again, frowning. You rent a rather dilapidated one-bedroom apartment above a bakery just a few blocks from the Yankee Candle shop. The apartment always smells like powdered sugar and baking bread, which you like. What you don’t like is everything else about it: the peeling paint, the low water pressure, the windows that you can’t wrestle open, the occasional mice, the shoddy electrical wiring. On any given day, there’s an approximately 27% chance that the bathroom light won’t turn on when you flip the switch. This morning you had been on the losing side of those odds, and with the only mirror in the apartment being the one mounted over the sink—and the overcast November skies outside offering painfully little natural light—you had haphazardly guesstimated your way through your makeup routine before dashing off to work. Your guesstimation skills, apparently, are not all that great.

“If he’s The Wizard of Oz...” Kevin points his broom handle from the snickering moustached man to the gangly, poodle-haired one who has been trying to decide between two candles—Christmas Cookie and Cinnamon Stick—for twelve uninterrupted minutes. He’s wearing a parka spotted with patches: a NASA emblem, a soaring rocket, a smiling green extraterrestrial face, Saturn and its rings. “That guy’s gotta be Star Wars.”

“Or Alien,” you suggest, clutching your chest and pretending to die melodramatically.

Kevin laughs. “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

“Close Encounters of The Third Kind.”

“What about that one?” Kevin nods to the guy who has large blue eyes and bleach-blond, fried tufts of hair sticking out in every direction and a grin that is simultaneously childish and foxlike. Under Pressure comes on the shop speakers, and the British men all start cheering and high-fiving each other, leaving their candles momentarily tucked under their arms or quivering precariously on the edges of wooden display tables. You are entirely mystified. “God, he’s gorgeous.”

“Bye Bye Birdie,” you decide. “Beautiful. Charming. Beloved by all. Perhaps a little dangerous. I can picture teenage girls sobbing themselves to sleep as he gallantly marches off to war.”

“You think he’s gay?” Kevin asks hopefully.

“I don’t think he’s dressed well enough for that.” The blond man is wearing a shapeless, polka-dotted sweater that has ‘NIVEA’ spelled across the front, for reasons that are difficult to fathom.

Kevin sighs, crestfallen. He suffered a nasty breakup with his boyfriend Patrick two weeks ago, and is enthusiastically on the hunt for a rebound to distract him. “You’re probably right. Okay, last but not least.” Kevin aims his broom handle at the fourth and final British stranger. “What shall we call him?”

You consider the man who has wandered away from the others. He’s wearing Levi’s, a black bomber jacket, aviator sunglasses, a mop of unwrangled auburn hair, thoughtful lines that break around the corners of his hidden eyes. He is browsing unhurriedly, perhaps even distractedly, through the fruit-scented candles. He picks up a jar of Macintosh Apple, sniffs a few times, then sets it back down precisely where he found it. He even spins the jar so it’s label-side-facing-outwards again. You warm to him immediately.  

“One of the James Bond movies?” Kevin offers. “He seems…enigmatic somehow. Esoteric. Yet still clearly leading man material.”

“Casablanca,” you say, not tearing your gaze from the stranger. “I can imagine him waving off some old flame on a foggy, night-draped airport runway, breaking hearts with sparse words of wisdom. Can’t you?”

“Oh, that’s exactly right!” Kevin sighs again, dreamily, yearningly. And whether he’s yearning for his ex-boyfriend Patrick or Bye Bye Birdie a.k.a. NIVEA-sweater man or passion or sex or love or maybe just the ineffable high that accompanies the beginnings of things, you couldn’t say.

You peer at your reflection in the cash register screen once again, feeling more self-conscious than ever. “Maybe if I—”

“Freddie!” Star Wars cries, and you whirl just in time to see The Wizard of Oz, whizzing around and giggling and preoccupied with teasing NIVEA-sweater man, stumble into the six-foot-tall tower of Christmas Tree-scented candles and send countless jars crashing to the tile floor.

“I knew it!” you unleash in a rush of misery and exasperation, the biting threat of tears in your eyes and the back of your throat. And of course, it isn’t just about the mess on the floor, it isn’t just about having to tell your manager and hoping to God he doesn’t fire you. It’s about your derelict apartment, it’s about your fucked up eyeliner, it’s about everything that’s happened in the past eighteen months; it’s about the never-ending feelings of helplessness and inertia and predestined ruin, it’s about not being able to get fifteen meters down the street before life throws up another red light, another jagged sinkhole gaping like ravenous jaws. And none of that is these ridiculous British men’s fault; yet still, in that moment the fury you feel towards them is overwhelming.

“Jesus christ,” Kevin mumbles, stepping out from behind the counter to survey the damage, his hands still clutching the broom and dustbin.

“You couldn’t just mosey around and ask which candles are on sale and maybe sniff one or two like a normal person?!” you explode. “You had to come in here acting like goddamn animals and destroy like a third of our inventory?!”

“I’m so sorry,” The Wizard of Oz sputters, looking at you and Kevin with wide, profusely apologetic dark eyes. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man are helping him to his feet, albeit with very spirited chidings. Kevin is grudgingly asking if he’s alright. Casablanca is already trying to sort through which candles are broken and putting those that survived aside. And when he casts furtive glances from behind his aviator sunglasses, they’re directed not at Kevin or The Wizard of Oz but at you.

“Freddie, bloody hell,” NIVEA-sweater man laments.

“I’ll pay for them all,” The Wizard of Oz tells you. “I’m so, so, so terribly sorry, you’re absolutely right to be cross with me, and I’ll pay for everything. Here, let me get my wallet…” He digs around in the pockets of his preposterously tight red leather pants.

“Uh…sir…” Kevin begins uncertainly, not wanting to break the bad news.

“It’s going to be hundreds of dollars,” you inform The Wizard of Oz. “Maybe over a thousand. You’re really going to pay that? Or are you just going to wait until we start sweeping up and then sprint out the front door the first chance you get?”

“Hey,” Kevin warns you quietly. He wants you to keep this job probably even more than you do. You are, by his own admission, far and away his favorite coworker.

“No, no, darling, please, let her scold me, I deserve it.” The Wizard of Oz at last locates his wallet. He sashays to the counter, brushing nuggets of glittering glass off his clothes, and counts out two thousand Canadian dollars in hundreds. “Will that do? You can keep the change as compensation for the inconvenience. And we’ll help clean up as well, has anyone got an extra broom?”

As you stare down at the money, shocked into speechlessness, three hulking men dressed in black come barreling into the shop.

“Lord in heaven, Freddie, what happened?!” one asks. He has a thick beard and an Irish accent and closely resembles a grizzly bear.

“I made a complete ass out of myself and am now trying to win the affections of this marvelous creature,” The Wizard of Oz replies, flourishing a hand towards you. “Is it working, dear?”

“Kind of,” you admit, still stunned.

“Oh my god.” The broom tumbles out of Kevin’s grasp and clatters on the floor. He points at The Wizard of Oz. “I know where I’ve seen you before. You…you…you’re Freddie Mercury, right?”

In reply, The Wizard of Oz only flashes an enormous, toothy, dazzling grin.

“Oh my god,” Kevin says again, a starry, awed smile rippling across his round face.

“Please don’t make his ego any bigger,” Star Wars pleads.

“And you’re Brian May!” Kevin replies. “And you’re…” He turns to NIVEA-sweater man, snapping his fingers, trying to remember. “Robbie…no, Ronnie…uh…Ricky…?”

“Roger Taylor.” But it comes out like ‘Rogah Taylah.’ NIVEA-sweater man extends a hand for Kevin to shake, not the least bit offended. “It’s a pleasure. Sorry about the candles.”

“No problem, sir!” Kevin squeaks as he takes Roger’s hand, beaming. The men in black—the band’s security, you’ve gathered—have descended upon the crime scene, confiscated Kevin’s broom and dustbin, and are rapidly clearing glass and chunks of candlewax from the floor and discarding the mess in a trash bin that usually collects only chewed gum and unwanted receipts.

“So I guess I probably shouldn’t have yelled at you,” you tell Freddie Mercury guiltily, all the venom in your voice evaporated. You’re no Queen superfan, true, but everyone knows the words to Bohemian Rhapsody and We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions. And Another One Bites The Dust. And Killer Queen. And Crazy Little Thing Called Love. And Somebody To Love. Your thoughts are suddenly a racing, indecipherable blur. Your knees are boneless. You’ve never met a celebrity before. Well, not unless you count professional hockey players, which you definitely don’t.

“No, you absolutely should have,” Freddie retorts. “I was dreadfully discourteous. I’m positively mortified about it. I should be punished severely. Have you got anything behind the counter to whip me with? A riding crop, perhaps?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Not that I know of. I’m sorry I called you an animal.”

“I’m sorry about the candles. There, now we’re even. Wait, not quite yet.” He calls over to Kevin: “Darling, how would you and your friend like front row seats at our show tonight?”

The squeal that bursts out of Kevin is not human.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Freddie Mercury says, very pleased.

“This is really too generous of you,” you protest, although your heart isn’t in it; Kevin might legitimately strangle you if you screw this up, and you’re finding that you want to see Queen in concert too. It’s something to interrupt the powerless, unrelenting monotony; it’s like something that might happen in a movie or a dream.

“Nonsense!” Freddie announces cheerfully. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man—or, rather, Brian and Roger—are chatting with the security guys and nodding along as the bearlike Irishman reviews the day’s itinerary.

You peer over at Casablanca. Now that the floor is mostly clear, he’s migrating towards you and Freddie. You glance apprehensively down at your reflection. “Goddammit,” you mutter, manipulating your bangs again, wishing you could disappear. “I meet a rock star for the first time ever and I look like this.”

“It’s not that bad,” Kevin says, obviously lying.

“I like it,” Freddie tells you, propping his elbows on the counter and resting his chin on his knuckles. “It’s very goth raccoon chic.”

“My bathroom light wouldn’t turn on this morning and I was late for work and I guesstimated and that was clearly a poor decision.” Poor decisions are my expertise, you think instinctively, and feel a tug of something you don’t quite have the words for. Shame, grief, disappointment, a raw sting like a flame beneath your palm, a dread like a child who’s lost their mother’s hand.  

“I’ve offered to take a look at the wiring!” Kevin exclaims. “I told you, a D is passing!”

“Kev, babe,” you reply. “I really, truly appreciate your enthusiasm, but you’ll probably just make it worse. And then my landlord will hate me and keep my security deposit and write me awful references and I’ll have to live in an endless string of ancient, hideous apartments until I die.”

“It’s an electrical problem?” Casablanca asks, pushing his aviator sunglasses up into his unruly hair. His unveiled eyes are a blueish grey—they remind you of one of the candles, maybe Beach Walk or Bahama Breeze—and very direct. He stares at you and you stare back, and at some point you realize that everyone is waiting for you to answer.

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess so. Sometimes nothing happens when I flip the switch. That’s the extent of my handyman knowledge, unfortunately.”

Casablanca nods. “I could take a look, if you like.”

Not Beach Walk. Not Bahama Breeze. Warm Luxe Cashmere, maybe. “Now that really is too generous. I couldn’t possibly put a rock star to work on my terrible apartment.”

“John’s got a degree in electrical engineering, that’s right in his wheelhouse,” Brian counters.

“Yes,” Roger says, grinning, teasing in a way that has absolutely no malice in it. “He’s more of an engineer than a rock star anyway, isn’t he?”

“Seriously?” Casablanca—John, you mentally correct yourself—doesn’t seem much like an electrical engineer. But Roger’s right: he doesn’t really seem like a rock star, either. What John seems like is steady and abiding and perceptive, attentive, unflinching. He studies you like some people study paintings, like you once studied paintings; not in a passing-by-in-a-crowded-hallway type way but in a patient way, a methodical way, with the quiet that comes from knowing that vision in the frame is older than you will ever be and will still be hanging on that wall when you’re bones in a box somewhere.

Freddie lights a cigarette and puffs on it decadently. Smoking definitely isn’t allowed inside the Yankee Candle shop, but you aren’t about to snap at Freddie Mercury for the second time today. “Oh, let him tinker around in your flat, darling. It’ll make his day.”

“Is it far?” John asks you.

“No, really, Casa…uh, I mean, John, I appreciate the offer more than I could possibly express but I—”

“It’s just a few blocks north,” Kevin says, and tosses you a wily smile.

“How convenient!” Freddie trills. “When does your shift end, dear?”

“Not until 5:30.”

“She can take a long lunch break.” Another smile from Kevin. “Honestly, there’s not much to do around here now that the Great Candle Massacre of 1981 has been remediated.”

“Splendid!” Freddie says, radiant.

You shake your head, very slowly. “This is the weirdest day of my life.”

“Then you clearly haven’t lived enough,” Freddie quips.

“Fred!” Roger presses. “Are we going to the bookstore down the street or not? That was the whole deal, we suffer through your candles, you suffer through our books.”

“You didn’t seem to be suffering,” Brian says.

“Of course I’m suffering. That cashier over there almost murdered me,” Roger slings back.  

Freddie sighs and rolls his large, dark, expressive eyes. “Yes, darling, of course, don’t give yourself an aneurism. We’ll go to the bookstore, John can rendezvous with us later.” Now he turns to you. “We’ll send a car to your flat at 7 to pick you and Kevin up for the show tonight. Don’t let John leave without knowing your address. Wear something deliciously opulent. Lots of sparkle. Maybe furs.”

“I make eight dollars an hour,” you tell him.  

“Or you could just wear nothing.”

“Sparkle and furs it is.”

Freddie chuckles and turns to the men in black. “Chubby, my dear?”

The towering bearlike Irishman replies: “Yeah, I’ll go with John. Don’t wreck anything else while I’m gone. Don’t get yourselves deported before the show. EMI will have your heads on spikes.”

Freddie pretends to be scandalized. “Causing destruction? We would never.” He saunters towards the shop door, jingling the bells as he swings it open, and waves like royalty. “See you tonight, darlings!”

“Bye!” Kevin shouts after him. And then, after Freddie, Roger, Brian, and the two non-bearlike men in black have departed: “Oh my god I just met Freddie Mercury and he’s amazing and he knows I exist and he spoke to me and tonight he’s sending a car to take me to a concert and I’m going to have front row seats and what if he invites me to have a drink afterwards oh my god.”

John, evidently unaffected, prompts you: “So your place is just a few blocks away?”

“Yeah. Just let me get my coat…”

The man in black—Chubby, as Freddie had introduced him—fetches your coat off the rack by the door and holds it up so you can slip inside it. No one has ever done that for you before.

“…Thanks…?” You button your coat, feeling a little like royalty yourself at the moment.

John pulls open the door, the tiny metal bells jangling, and gestures out into the streets of downtown Montreal. He’s wearing his aviator sunglasses again; the November wind gusts through his hair. You catch threadbare ghosts of cigarette smoke and cologne that the breeze lifts from his skin like pages of a book. And he smiles, just barely. “After you.”

You walk north together along the path of the sidewalk with your hands in your pockets, your breath fog in the cold, weaving through the bustling crowds of tourists and holiday shoppers, Chubby trailing not far behind and displaying his talent for keeping watch while not letting on that he is. To even your own horror, you can’t seem to shut up.

“John, this is so kind of you, this is completely unnecessary, you really shouldn’t feel like you owe me anything because Freddie already paid for the candles twice over and I was totally unprofessional for yelling at customers, even annoying customers, and Kevin and I are already getting a free concert tonight and so—”

“Okay,” John says firmly. “You have to talk about something else now.”

“I can’t talk about anything else. All I can think about is how ridiculous this is.”

“Have you lived in Montreal long?” he asks, very casually, as if you’re strangers in line next to each other at Starbucks.

“My whole life.” Minus a little over three years, but you don’t need to get into that. “My parents live over in Verdun, right on the St. Lawrence River.

“Sounds scenic.”

“It certainly is.” You’re trying not to look at John, because every time you do it’s hard to stop. You look at the cars rolling by instead. “This is super embarrassing, and I don’t mean to offend you, but what exactly do you do in Queen?”

He’s not offended; he thinks it’s hilarious. “I’m the bassist.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah, bassists are quiet and reliable or whatever. Bassists don’t terrorize Yankee Candle employees.”

“You’re not a Queen fan?”

“I’m a casual and appreciative listener, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I couldn’t pick any of you out of a lineup, clearly. Roger is the drummer, right?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Drummers are feral, almost universally. Which means Brian must be lead guitar.”

“And what do you think of lead guitarists?”

“Word on the street is that they are brilliant yet micromanaging egomaniacs, but I don’t want to bash your friend or anything.”

John chuckles, like there’s some joke you aren’t in on yet. “No, please, bash away. So you prefer bassists.”

And finally you do look at him, and you regret it immediately; because now you’re caught in the thoughtful crinkles around his eyes and the barely-there stubble of his cheeks and the playful curve of his lips and how the wind ruffles his auburn hair the same way it steals leaves off of slumbering trees. You almost walk right past the bakery. “Oh, wait, we’re here.”

You lead John and Chubby upstairs to your chronically irritating apartment. John removes his sunglasses, inspects your bathroom light switch, then asks if you have a specific kind of screwdriver. You bring him the toolkit that has lived beneath the kitchen sink since before you moved in and he roots around, finds what he’s searching for, and unfastens the light switch plate from the wall.

“Please don’t electrocute yourself,” you fret, as Chubby meanders around in the living room and tries not to intrude. “If you die your groupies will never forgive me.”

“Who says I’ve got groupies?” John replies, amused.

“I just assumed all rock stars do.” Your eyes flick down to his hands as he fidgets with the wiring; and you notice randomly—or, maybe, not all that randomly—that he’s not wearing a ring. You’re still ruminating over that when he returns the light switch plate to the wall, secures each of the four screws with a few deft twists of his wrist, and performs a test flip. The light turns on immediately.

“Mission accomplished,” John says mildly.

“What?! No, no way, no freaking way.” You flip the switch again. The light turns off and on obediently. You try it at least five more times. Perfection. “…How?!”

“Just a few loose wires. No great hardship.” He tucks the screwdriver back into the toolkit.  

You gape at him. “That took you…like…two minutes.”

“Aren’t you glad my band wandered into your candle shop and almost demolished the place today?” He rests his hands on his waist; his sturdy, skillful, ringless hands. “Anything else I can fix for you?”

“Definitely not.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He stares at you. You stare back.

“Stop looking at my fucked up eyeliner.”

John laughs. It’s a delightfully clear, disarming sound. “That’s not what I was doing.”  

“I should fix my makeup and go back to work now. And you should probably go help your friends burn down the bookstore or blow up a Starbucks or do whatever else is on your agenda for today.”

“Soundcheck and dinner, actually,” John says. He slides the toolkit back beneath your kitchen sink, meets Chubby by the front door, and pauses there to give you one last lingering, laden gaze. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“In my best furs,” you purr in your most convincing Freddie Mercury impression.

“Or nothing at all,” John suggests levelly. And then he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

It turns out better than you thought it would. Your tan, knee-high suede boots are celebratory without being too uncomfortable. Kevin brings you a faux fur jacket that he stole from Patrick during the breakup. You find a glittery black dress in the back of your closet that you once loved, then couldn’t stand to look at, then forgot existed entirely; but tonight it’s like you’re seeing it with brand new eyes. It fits even better than you remember. In the mirror, you look like a stranger and a hauntingly familiar acquaintance and yourself all at once.

Chubby arrives in a black limousine at precisely 7pm, parks along the curb next to the bakery, and honks the horn twice. You and Kevin dash down the narrow steps and climb into the backseat, finding complimentary cigarettes and bottled water and chilled champagne. As the limo rolls though Montreal under changing traffic lights, Kevin prattles on about the band, their history, their albums, their tours…and John in particular. He tries to tempt you. You resist valiantly…for the first fifteen minutes, anyway.

Finally, you sigh in capitulation. “Okay. Fine. I get it. What do you know about him?”

“I know he’s divorced,” Kevin says, wiggling his eyebrows. “I saw it on the cover of a tabloid a while back. Very contentious, spicy stuff. He’s got like eight kids.”

“He does not have eight kids!”

“Okay, maybe not eight. But he has a lot,” Kevin insists.

You rearrange your hair with deliberate flippantness. “What do I care if he’s divorced?”

Kevin grins. “You know why you care.”

“Stop,” you plead.

“Look, all I’m saying is that he definitely likes you. And you like him. And I haven’t seen you like anybody, ever, in the…wait, let me count…the nine whole months that I’ve known you. When was the last time you even had a boyfriend? When was the last time you got laid? Oh my god, it hasn’t been nine months, has it?! That’s way too long to go without sex. No wonder you’re so serious all the time. It all makes sense now. You poor thing. You’re in dick withdrawal.”

“Assuming that’s my problem—which it isn’t, by the way—if I wanted to get laid there are far easier ways to accomplish that.”

“Sure,” Kevin says. “But you don’t want just any dick. You want British bassist dick. John Deacon dick. Casablanca dick.”

“This friendship is terminated.”

Kevin cackles, pouring himself a glass of champagne that bubbles over the top and spills onto the limo floor. “I’m really glad you’re here with me. I’m glad we can do this together.”

You fill a champagne flute with bottled water and clink your glass against his, smiling. The limo is turning into the parking lot of the Montreal Forum. “Me too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The backstage room that Chubby escorts you and Kevin to after the show is full of chatter and heavy smoke and roadies and fans and musicians and journalists, trays of hors d'oeuvres, wine and Stella Artois and vodka and tequila and rum, the electric promise of things that will go unmentioned in the morning. There are stacks of stereo speakers in the corner rumbling out Another One Bites The Dust. You and Kevin camp out on a green velvet couch—making small talk with each other to avoid making it with anyone else—until the band arrives.

John is still wearing his concert outfit: blue pants, blue shirt, a black leather jacket that gives him an edge like a knife. He passes out a few polite nods; but Freddie and Roger are undeniably the suns in this room, and the guests their planets. Freddie is soon surrounded by a constellation of followers and whisks Kevin away with him. John, meanwhile, comes straight to where you’re sitting on the couch and stands in front of you with his messy hair and his veil of cologne and his mystery-candle-blue eyes.

“Can I get you anything?” he asks in that calm, measured way that you’ve learned he has. “Rum and Coke? Moscow Mule? Hurricane? I’ve been on a mojito kick recently.”

“I don’t drink.” And you wait for the inevitable awkwardness that usually follows that sentence, when he says why? or seriously? or maybe just oh in wilted disappointment.

Instead, what John says is this: “No problem. Rum minus the Coke?”

You smile up at him. You can’t help yourself. “That would be perfect.”

There are innumerable drinks already poured on a table, dark carbonated liquid trembling in red plastic cups as the bass from the stereo speakers quakes through the crowded, droning, smoke-hazed room. John moves from cup to cup, taking tentative sips before shaking his head and putting them back down on the table. After each attempt, he casts you a rueful smirk before continuing on to the next cup. At last, he finds two unadulterated Cokes and brings them to the couch: one for you, and one for him. He sits beside you with one of his legs crossed over the other, a lit cigarette in his right hand, a red plastic cup of Coke in his left, and his eyes on you in a way that isn’t hungry or arrogant or restless but merely, benignly contemplative. You find yourself thinking of paintings in museums again, you even start to feel a little like one; and you wonder what colors he sees in you, what types of brushstrokes, what signatures scribbled in the corners of the canvas, what shadows painstakingly penciled in to mimic the angles of the sun.

You tell John about growing up in Montreal, about autumn strolls along the St. Lawrence River, about snowfalls and Mont-Royal and Chinatown and the Notre-Dame Basilica, about the exhilarating turmoil of the Summer Olympics in 1976. You tell him about how Kevin is in his last year at Concordia University and works part-time at the Yankee Candle shop for money to invest in his hair gel and travel fund. You tell him so many things he doesn’t notice all the parts you leave out. In return, John tells you about himself; not about John Deacon the bassist of Queen, but about the understated man who likes cars and electronics and the Beatles and tea in the evenings beside a roaring fireplace. And when his arm comes to rest on the back of the green velvet couch, and then across your shoulders, and then around your waist, it doesn’t feel strange at all. You lean into him as you exchange stories and clandestine giggles until you’re nearly in his lap, and that doesn’t feel strange either. And you haven’t had a drop of alcohol—you haven’t in almost a full year, in fact—but you feel a little drunk tonight, because your cheeks are hot and the room is blurry and the world is brimming with a pure, rose-gold, uncomplicated happiness.

The other band members periodically stop by to say hello, clutching their drinks and making stilted pleasantries as you and John smile drowsily up at them, looking nothing like the soberest people in the room. Chubby and the rest of the men in black are simultaneously omnipresent and scarce, which you are beginning to think is a requirement inked into their job description. Kevin, having been fully absorbed into Freddie’s entourage, is beaming and flushed and extremely, blissfully tipsy. And they all watch you and John not with scandalized sideways glances but with warm approval swimming in their gleaming eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you yet,” you tell John when you are alone again. “For improving my dreadful apartment. So thank you. You really didn’t have to do that. I hate that I marred your time in Montreal with unpaid labor.”

He shrugs it off. “I like fixing things. It’s what I’m best at.”

“Besides being an internationally acclaimed rock star, you mean.”

“I’m honestly not so sure I’m cut out for the rock star life.”

“You are, though. I saw you. I watched you all night.”

John just stares at you, and then he leans in even closer, inhaling deeply. You can feel the heat of his breath on your collarbone, your shoulder, your neck; goosebumps spring up across your skin like stars at twilight. “What the hell is that? Perfume? Lotion? Shampoo?”

“It’s probably sugar and baking bread, because I live on top of a bakery.”

“Does Yankee Candle make anything that smells like you?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “They definitely do not.”

“They should,” John murmurs. And with the rough whirlpools of his fingertips he turns your face to his so he can kiss you.

It should be kind of humiliating, right? Making out with some guy you just met on a green couch in front of thirty strangers, your hands getting tangled in each other’s hair, your lips meeting again and again, taunting darts of the tongue and quick painless bites and stifled moans and grasping tugs at clothes that you’re starting to wish weren’t there at all. It should feel embarrassing, you should feel overexposed, here in this land of unfamiliar expectations and accents and faces. But no one seems to be watching too closely. This must be so tame in the world of rock stars, it occurs to you; almost wholesome. And you can’t remember a time you’ve ever felt more at peace.

“There’s a pool table in the next room,” someone says, startling you, and you break away from John to discover Roger perched on the arm of the couch, grinning coyly as he sips his emerald glass bottle of Stella Artois. “I mean…you know. If you’re into that. John’s got all sorts of moves, we played for days at a time at Ridge Farm. You could challenge him to a round or two. Place bets. But be warned…he’s a total pool shark.”

“Is he?” you ask mischievously, clasping the lapel of John’s leather jacket. Even if you freed him, he shows no indication of retreating. He’s raking his knuckles back and forth along the length of your thigh that your little black dress leaves exposed, never venturing above the hem.  

Roger winks. “Just thought you might want to know.” Then he hops off the couch and disappears into the crowd again.

John is trying to keep his eyes locked on yours, and no lower. He’s trying to not be even vanishingly forceful. He’s trying not to sway you. But you know exactly what he wants. “Do you…?”

“Show me how to play pool,” you whisper. And you lead him through the shuffling bodies and boisterous, increasingly intoxicated laughter and cumulus clouds of cigarette smoke to the door on the other side of the room.

Beyond the threshold you find a pool table and not much else. It’s terribly unceremonious; it’s absolutely perfect. You can hear Blondie’s Call Me playing back in the packed room where the rest of the band is still reveling, the bass crawling through the walls to radiate in your eardrums, your bones. You lock the door and reach out to flick off the harsh florescent lights, but John stops you. You don’t have to ask him why. He wants to be able to see you. He asks if this is okay—again, wordlessly, with the forthright blue of his eyes—and you nod. And then he kisses you as you drag him in, breathing in his cologne and nicotine, tasting the virgin Coke on his lips that he drank just for you.

John tears off his leather jacket. You toss the faux fur that Kevin lent you to the floor. You climb up onto the pool table, and John follows you. You yank off his shirt, link your suede boots around him as he positions himself between your naked, down-soft thighs. And then John stops.

“Look, I have to be honest,” he says. His hands tremble as they cradle the small of your back, just barely. “I’m newly divorced, and I’m really out of practice, I mean really out of practice, and this is not at all my usual way of doing things, and if I’m total rubbish or only last like thirty seconds or something I just want to apologize in advance and swear that I’ll do absolutely everything I can to make this worth it for you. Because I like you. I really, really like you.”

“I’m a little rusty too,” you confess with a small, sheepish smile. But he doesn’t need to know exactly how rusty you are, or in how many ways, all those layers of blood-hued ruin that spin webs from the skin down to the marrow.

John seems relieved. “Then maybe we’re even.”

You’re not even, you’re nowhere close; but it’s comforting that he thinks you could be.

John kisses you again. His hands find the zipper on the back of your dress, and then the tiny metal clasp of your bra, and then the black lace of your panties…and then everything else as well.

~~~~~~~~~~

Afterwards, you return together to the green velvet couch in the next room, not with bashful swiftness but with your hands entwined, your eyes satiated and calm, your clothes unapologetically rumpled. The partying is winding down. The song pouring through the stereo speakers is In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins. And now you and John don’t talk very much at all; you just sit there with fresh cups of Coke, your head resting against his chest, his left arm draped around you, watching the rest of the universe spin on like a carousel as your feet stay rooted to the earth.

“So you’re the smart one,” you say eventually. “You must be, with an electrical engineering degree.”

“You’d be surprised. We’re rather erudite, as far as rock stars go.” He smiles drowsily down at you. “Freddie’s got a degree in graphic art and design. Roger has one in biology. Brian has the better part of a PhD in astrophysics. He might even go back to finish it one day. He probably will, just to be able to lord it over us.”

“Wow,” you reply, distantly, suddenly feeling very small.

“What did you study?” he asks you.

In truth, you never finished college; but you aren’t going to tell John that. “Something useless.”

John is intrigued, and perhaps a little concerned as well. His brow furrows with grooves like lines of fortune in an open palm.

“I wanted to be a painter,” you explain, smirking at the absurdity. “But the world doesn’t need painters anymore. They have pictures and videos that are just as clear as real life. They don’t need my fantasies or interpretations. They have reality.”

“I think we still need painters,” John disagrees, his calloused fingertips tracing lazy circles around your bare shoulder.

“Really?”

“Yeah. For when reality requires improving.”

You let a few moments of silence tick by. And then you put on your faux fur jacket, finish the last of your Coke, stand and find your balance on the low heels of your boots with exhausted, shaky calves.

John jolts upright, somewhat alarmed. “Hey, you don’t have to—”

“This was great, John. This was the best night I’ve had in a long time. So thank you for that. But I have to go home now.”

“Okay.” He studies you, processing. “Okay, okay. I’ll have Chubby drive you.”

“That’s really not necessary, I can get a cab…”

But John has already waved Chubby over, and the massive man appears serendipitously with an impossible degree of stealth. Kevin finds you, staggering, babbling breathlessly about all of his adventures, showing you where Freddie and Roger and Brian signed his chest with a black Sharpie, repeating the same stories on an identical loop every few minutes. As you leave, you offer John a brief parting wave; and he returns it, like a reflection in a mirror, but he’s wearing a pensive frown and eyes dark with thought. Then again, maybe you are too.

Chubby leads you and Kevin outside to the waiting limousine. You slip into the backseat, ply Kevin with bottled water, open the sunroof so moonlight and cold, reviving November air can flood in like a river.

Kevin is coming down now from the high of the champagne and the concert and the carousing with Freddie Mercury. He blinks, soaking you in, really seeing you for the first time in hours. “Wow, you had a good night with Casablanca. You had a really good night.”

“Yeah,” you reply softly, resting your head against the window and watching the stars and streetlights pass by above like seasons. “And it will never happen again.”

[kaminohana]

the meme man full analysis

Yeehaw here we go. Analysis of Mikoto Kayano’s video and song, along with some theories about the many themes and symbols in the video. Note: If there’s any other supplemental material for him out there, I haven’t read it. This is just an analysis with the music video we were given. If I happen to miss stuff that was mentioned before, I may talk about it in another post lmao

I was SUPER invested in this video as I watched it and soon realized “Oh shit, I think Mikoto’s plural”. Cuz, you know, I’m plural too (not disclosing what kind) and it felt SO good to see some actual parallels to stuff I go through- though of course not to Mikoto’s degree.

That said, I feel I should make a disclaimer in passing: yes, portraying your only plural character as homicidal ain’t the best representation. But, you know, we’ve seen other cases like that in Milgram so I’m just gonna leave it at that. Personally, I’m not that offended because the execution is SO top-notch. Though, hey, I totally understand how this can be very frustrating to other systems to see plurality depicted in such an unhealthy light- if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

Keep in mind the point of the Milgram series is to make you uncomfortable in so quickly incriminating someone; if you’re hesitating to determine someone as guilty, hey, that’s probably intended and good! It’s about personal decision, so I’m not going to judge you one way or the other in voting. I just find it fascinating how these videos can put us in such conflict. This is all just my own perspective, BTW, so if you disagree with some of these points, good! I’m just hoping to share my thoughts since I can make a lot of connections. I’m by no means an expert in plurality or tarot, I just have some background in both and decided to try my hand at this analysis, so I really don’t the final say on what’s going on in the video.

Now, onto the actual video analysis.

I’m sticking with the basic idea that Mikoto is split into two parts; his more loveable, gentler side, which I referred to in another post as Softboy Mikoto, and the more violent side which may be acting as a catharsis to his frustrations. I referred to this side previously as the Devil alter, as he is depicted with the Devil major arcana tarot card. I can see how this could be taken badly, so for now I’m just going to refer to him as the shadow alter. There are many themes of duality in the video, most commonly with the symbol of the half moon which appears so many times. Shadow of the moon etc etc. I’ll be bringing this up several times as I analyze the lyrics. I’ll be breaking down the lyrics as evidence to support the idea that Mikoto is plural, and to show how softboy Mikoto (and shadow alter Mikoto) view this particular relationship and how this culminates in murder. Sometimes I refer to Mikoto (as a whole), softboy Mikoto, or shadow alter Mikoto depending on what I’m trying to describe in the below.

First piece: the title. MeMe. Me x2. A dead giveaway, like Umbilical. Also, it can be a meme, which is interesting taking the definition of the word meme in this context: “an element of a culture or system of behavior passed from one individual to another by imitation or other nongenetic means” (Oxford Dictionaries).  HMMMM. I know memes are generally within the context of a community, but I think it’s interesting to actually apply this to Mikoto. What exactly is being passed on? Could we argue that Mikoto’s frustrations from one of his parts is being passed on to the other? Interesting to think about, though it may not be relevant.

Going into the lyrics:

So from here I’m guessing there was a point in Mikoto’s life where his plurality was not an issue; or, potentially, there was a time before his split. These were the good times.

Playing dead vs. being alive – representing duality. May refer to how, when one side has their way, the other is locked away in the headspace with no control, thus feeling like being dead. In the context of “if only”, perhaps he’s wishing that he just didn’t do anything if only to prevent things from getting this far.

“If” I could end- I believe Mikoto (particularly softboy Mikoto) is saying “Hey, I have no control over my other side. If I did, would things still be the same? Would I still be ‘letting’ this happen?”

“Keep it” and “hide it away” I feel like are both representative of his shadow alter and of the desires that alter represents. Many words related to destruction are tied to this alter, so it could be seen as Mikoto trying to hide those urges as well.

“’I’ will save ‘me’”- this is a very interesting line that I think very well encapsulates the shadow alter’s initial motives; he’s saying “hey, I’m going to take care of us,” I believe to try and convince softboy Mikoto to let him out. As far as if softboy Mikoto can actually “let” him out is TOTALLY up for debate.

Part of the reason I refer to the other alter as softboy Mikoto is because there are softer words I notice used by him in the song; here’s I’m seeing “snuggle”, so I think this side of him is more vulnerable and soft.

SWITCH, shake up that brain- wow couldn’t be any more obvious here

This is where the chorus starts. This I think is from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, PARTICULARLY when he’s trapped in the headspace. There are many forms of plurality IRL in which alters cannot simultaneously front, so one or more are “pushed” back into the headspace. This very act occurs several times throughout the song in the weird minimalist vaporwave shadow realm room, where the tarot cards are. During this time, we can assume that is when the shadow alter is fronting. Softboy Mikoto slowly starts to become more helpless and fearful in this space as the song goes on, and this is where he makes his celtic cross tarot spread that quite frankly defines the whole song. I discussed that in my other post.

Another facet of plurality that is applied here is amnesia, which is common, especially when alters are pushed back to the headspace. Within the headspace, there may be a lack of awareness to the outside world, which Mikoto seems to express in his confused sentiments like the above (in the video, he is also scratching his head, which as a gesture can represent being confused). “Why am I here?” can act as a double entendre, both referring to “Why have I suddenly been pushed to this headspace?” as well as the whole point of Milgram- “Why am I in prison?”. He may not be aware of exactly what he did, hence why he feels it’s a mistake. He may be experiencing amnesia of what his shadow alter is doing, so he doesn’t even know what crime he committed. However, he at least has enough awareness to tell someone else is present in his body doing things, so he begs the viewer “Hey, just watch whatever my body is doing and it’ll all eventually make sense. I don’t have access to this information, but you do.” I thought this was an interesting fourth wall break.

The truth revealing itself could also be the truth coming to light from the particular tarot reading he does in the headspace; note that the cards only seem to be appear in this place and not in the outside world. So softboy Mikoto is trying to figure out what’s going on this way. If he can’t figure it out himself, maybe the cards can give him some direction.

Another duality- “I won’t forgive you if you reveal the truth” vs. “However I know I’m right when I say I’m innocent”. Or he could be right about something else.

I’m wondering if the breaking here is just reflecting the shadow alter or is softboy Mikoto actually wishing he could end the shadow alter. He at least wants things to change; the way things are right now is not something he’s okay with. Though, it sounds like he isn’t getting help with this and has no idea if he can even arrest full control again. It seems at this point, this has been going on for a while so he’s stopped trying.

In the video, the shadow alter is doing a GREAT job hiding the evidence; while of course probably just trying to not get caught, the shadow alter may also be trying to hide his crime from softboy Mikoto so he’s none the wiser.

He’s hoping he can be rid of the shadow alter side, but I think he also is dumping all his difficult feelings onto the shadow alter. Maybe he feels its some sort of release, even if he can’t control it, so he feels a lot of guilt over the shadow alter’s existence, even though that alter is serving a purpose as a conduit for those emotions.

I really really think though that there IS some connection between softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto. Maybe they are both truly aware of each other, hence the scene where they are viewing each other through the mirror. I think here, softboy Mikoto might be admitting that it feels good to let the shadow alter out, like a hug. The “minus energy” probably refers to the shadow alter.

“Maybe it’s okay that we’re separated like this?” he wonders. There seems to be a sense of feeling alive at least that is conveyed through the shadow alter.

SPLIT IN HALF- yeah, again, pretty encompassing.

In the video, I think this is when we have a switch, as Mikoto’s expression changes in the outside world mirror.

The chorus again, softboy Mikoto is shoved into the vaporwave shadow realm headspace. He’s asking the audience to investigate him here, but I also like to joke that he’s like “uwu look at me I could never harm anybody, pwease let me out”, which may be true only so far as softboy Mikoto is out.

I wonder if in “I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me” is directed at the shadow alter instead of the audience? Like softboy Mikoto is saying “I swear to god if you murdered someone im gonna be so pissed, but I also already kinda know it’s happening.” Just another take.

In the video, softboy Mikoto is THROWN into the headspace, where he is gifted with just one hint of what’s going on: The Devil tarot card.

You DARE accuse Miette of murder? Oh! 1000 years jail for Milgram viewer!

Now the vaporwave space starts to turn into a bloody mess; perhaps now softboy Mikoto is starting to put two and two together.

“Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it”- I definitely understand this being plural, like if your alters are causing problems, you may try and chastise them, or you may try and lock them away deep inside, but that often doesn’t stop them from existing. It’s really cool how that idea is present here. Like YES that’s how it is quite often. So even if softboy Mikoto TRIES to smother or accuse his shadow alter, that’s not going to change anything.

It being the same anywhere he goes makes me think he’s been putting up with this for a long time, that it’s not about what environment he’s in because his shadow alter is with him everywhere he goes.

“It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong”- may be referring to multiple things:

-the shadow alter having a different morality (hence why murder is okay for him, his indulgence in smokes and…redbull/alcohol, etc)

-OR, how softboy Mikoto’s amnesia isn’t letting him understand the full picture so everything is okay when he’s out fronting (shadow alter cleaned the place up and stuff, perhaps hiding all evidence of murder)

-“I’m already the fake one”- a very common sentiment for plural folks, worrying if you as an alter aren’t “the original” or if you’re not actually split and it’s something you’re making up, etc. I think softboy Mikoto is having these feelings. Poor boy, wish we could get you some therapy instead :/ (all of Milgram would be very different if only most of these people could get therapy, let’s be honest)

Now, what’s special here is that BOTH alters are in the headpace, with shadow alter Mikoto looming ominously behind softboy Mikoto.

During this next instrumental, just a side note: we see what’s going on through security footage. The security cameras reflecting a third person perspective is kind of neat in context of pluralism, where someone else fronting can feel like a third person awareness to another alter. I may be thinking too much into this one, but it’s a fun connection.

Another thing many plural folk go through: DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY. Ah yes, my good friend dissociation. Especially like in Mikoto’s case, where the consequences of being split have drastic consequences, he could be running away from the truth which may always be partially concealed to him. Something’s VERY wrong, he knows this for sure, and it may be at this point he really realizes “Oh shit. I just committed murder.” But instead of taking responsibility in any way, he’s trying to imagine that it’s a fabricated reality. I’m not going to say if this makes him bad or not, but it is a known coping mechanism.

I know I mention that the bad habits of smoking and drinking may be the shadow alters habits, but they could also be softboy Mikoto’s own methods of escapism, which definitely fits with the above lyrics. “I need to wake up soon”- but he still realizes that he’s going to have to face the harsh truth of reality soon.

Now this point indicates a marked change in softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto’s relationship: I believe there may be a time when softboy Mikoto expects to come back out to the front, but now the shadow alter is starting to take over fully and keep softboy Mikoto locked inside. This is supported by the Outcome card in his celtic cross spread being The Devil. Not only does this card have its own meanings, but here it may mean that the more violent side of him takes over.

Again, don’t know if he’s talking to the audience or his shadow alter in never forgiving this outcome. I believe softboy Mikoto does have a clearer morality in that murder is NOT okay, and if he were to fully acknowledge that he as a whole was capable of that, I think he’d break down. So he’s like “it better NOT be true” because he doesn’t know how he’d be able to deal with that.

Interesting in the video is when Mikoto snaps and the headspace turns red again; I would think this is when the shadow alter is entering the scene and taking over. The snap here is symbolic of the switch.

Now presumably softboy Mikoto is like “PWEASE WET ME OUT MISTEW OBAMA”, which, again with the double meaning, can refer to letting him out of the vaporwave shadow realm headspace OR letting him out of prison. Both apply.

“That it’s a lie

That I’m right”- a nice duality here. Mikoto is having difficulty separating the truth from reality.

Also NOW he is forgiving. Forgiveness vs not forgiveness (grudge)

I think it’s gotten so bad that he’s like “okay fine. Fine if I committed murder, fine if you’re accusing me of murder, but please help me understand what’s going on. Let me out”. Maybe he’ll forgive the shadow alter if only he fesses up to the murder.

Of note for the scene however is that shadow alter Mikoto is holding up The Fool card, which represents softboy Mikoto in this case. “I’m right” may be the shadow alter’s sentiment.

-THE CARDS AT THE END-

Then, all the cards show up in more detail, all depicting weapons instead of the standard minor arcana that you might see in your standard Rider Waite tarot deck (which these are based off of). The Wands are baseball bats, the Swords are kitchen knives, the Cups are…poison cans? Acid? The Pentacles are….records but I can see these being rotary saws if you squint. The Wheel of Fortune has car wheels with a snake….GTA time baby (the snake being hidden danger, the devil’s temptation, etc). The chariot is a really weird motorcycle death machine. I was thinking how like, people would drag people along behind them while driving a vehicle as a method of torture so there is that.

Now we see some cards not in the original spread- I think this represents shadow alter Mikoto inserting himself into the headspace and changing things to fit his goals. We see a couple placed in the original spread, but some don’t and are just free-floating, but you’ll see below we have enough context to decipher their meaning.

First, it’s the Page of Pentacles, which has taken over the position of the 7 of swords as the current challenge affecting the issue. This card indicates “Manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development”. I think this means the shadow alter is finally learning to take full control.

Then we see the reverse 2 of swords, which represents “Indecision, confusion, information overload, stalemate”. This could probably represent softboy Mikoto not suddenly understanding why the shadow alter is ALSO in the headspace. Maybe his dual presence in the outside world AND the headspace is indicative of exactly when he learned to take full control. This was NOT in Mikoto’s original spread.

Wheel of Fortune again, which was in the original spread. “Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control”. Yup, that confirms it.

Next, the Five of Swords from the original spread comes up. “Conflict, tension, loss.png, defeat, win at all costs, betrayal”. Softboy Mikoto is now being completely taken over. There is a facedown card on the chair. This might be the one that reads as Death later, so it may be that softboy Mikoto is…KILLED OFF?

Cup of Ace, “Love, compassion, creativity, overwhelming emotion”. I think this one is also meant to represent softboy Mikoto, but it could be that the shadow alter sees it as an act of mercy to take full control for softboy Mikoto. Maybe he feels his alter can’t handle reality and he’s going to take over full time. Or more likely he just has ulterior motives.

Reverse King of Cups. “emotional manipulation, moodiness, volatility”. Softboy Mikoto was lead along, thinking it was okay to leave things to the shadow alter or to exist alongside him. Now we see that isn’t a viable solution.

Reverse Five of Wands. “conflict avoidance, diversity, agreeing to disagree”.  I went over this more in the other post.

Chariot is the last one, WHICH ALSO WAS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SPREAD. “Control, willpower, success, action, determination”. The shadow alter Mikoto has taken full control. Which is very quickly followed by…

Shadow alter Mikoto drawing Death. Also not in the original spread. Perhaps effectively “killing off” softboy Mikoto and betraying him.

Concluding Thoughts.

Now, I understand I do take most of these lyrics from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, but I’m sure there’s a layer of deception added on by his shadow alter. The Challenge card of the 7 of swords did represent betrayal. So softboy Mikoto’s only context into what’s going on outside may be his headspace tarot reading. If you want to question some of the lyrics, or even think one of the alters is lying, that would add SO much to the complexity of the situation, and I wouldn’t put it past the Milgram team to add something like that.

Common Themes/Symbols:

The mirror, both in the headspace and in the outside world bathroom

The Hanged Man- in a painting in the headspace and on Mikoto’s shirt. Indicative of being wrongly accused or martyred. Softboy Mikoto is likely represented with this, as well as The Fool. The Fool painting probably is there to show that he doesn’t know any better, that he is without the knowledge of what his shadow alter is doing (or doesn’t believe he’s doing anything wrong)

The Half Moon- a light side and a dark side. Pretty self-explanatory. Symbolically, it can also represent life and death. NICE.

Sorry if the conclusions end up being kind of vague. That’s the way a lot of this video is; what’s really going on, as it usually is, is up to viewer interpretation at this stage. I was just hoping to provide a bit of context into the images in the video, plural life, and narrator interpretation. I just really love this video and after this full analysis hope others can at least appreciate the work that went into it.

[pbandjesse]

Did I somehow forget to post my post last night? Im sorry. I have only been doing this for 9 years. Apparently just not used to it yet. Thank you to my mom for letting me know. 

Today was a good day. I am enjoying this new job so far but it was a little odd. 

I slept pretty well last night. I woke up when James got up but I slept until 715. And then honestly I felt pretty good. I got up and showered and got dressed. It was cold in here. But not to bad. I got dressed. Felt cute. I like my shorter hair, Honestly it could be a little shorter. But I think I might just get some soft curlers to give it more volume. Still feels cute though. 

I had a few messages this morning about things people wanted to buy and that was exciting. I havent gotten any frogs sold today but thats okay. I am going to have to remember to write things down because I was sort of confused about something but its okay. I will get it together. 

I headed to the PAL center and had a nice drive. The GPS took me a different way and that was nice. No highway. I got there around 815 and we dont have any kids signed up. Which is all good. So I spent some time looking at the classroom and making a little list of supplies it would be nice to have. I had my breakfast sandwich and decided I would try to clean up their art supply room. They have a lot of ceramic paints and regular paints and foam shapes. But not much more then that. They even have a kiln but they dont even know where the key to that room is. Wild. Well see what can happen with that. 

But then as I was doing that Lana texted me and asked me to go sub in at another site. So I packed up and headed out into the windy day. 

It was about 20 minutes away and they paid me for the travel time so that was nice. I got there and the teacher had shown up but they still asked me to stay. Thats chill. 

And honestly it was a chill day. It started quiet. I just watched the kids for a bit. But then once I felt comfortable I read my book for a bit. Worked on the instagram. Wrote in my notebook. I would periodically make rounds to ask if everyone was alright. It was a nice time. 

The teacher there made a couple comments about how boring the job was. But it was like. Well yeah. But I have things to do so its okay. She just didnt have anything. But as the day went on people would ask for help and have free time.And then one little girl needed to do PE and asked for help with yoga so me and her and another boy were doing yoga and ballet and cheer. She taught me some of her routines. It was very silly and fun. And from that point on everyone seemed a lot happier and were were more chatty. 

Lunch was long because the kids are from different schools and have different schedules. But we made it work. I had a nice time talking to the kids and the adults. Talking stories and adventures. Trying not to talk about the election to much. About how scared we all are. But it was a nice time. 

Honestly by 3 I was kind of sad I might not see those kids again. I dont know what site Ill be at one wednesday. Or going forward. But I said goodbye and headed out. 

I had thought about going for a drive but decided instead to go home. When I got back here a homeless man I have talked to before was outside and asked if I could make him a sandwich. We didnt have bread so I made him a bagel instead and packed an apple and cliff bar for him. Mr Will was outside, I think trying to shoo the man away, when I came out. It was nice to see Will and tell him I got a new job. He was excited for me. 

I headed up stairs and started putting things away when I noticed sweetP was staring hard at the doorway. And I was trying to figure out why. So I get down on his level and I see a mouse!!! AHHH!!

So I ran down to the laundry room where Will was and told him so he came up to see if he could catch it. But when we got back we couldnt find it. So he called the exterminator. Hopefully sweetP just catches it. 

Once Will left I got back to putting things away. Then played animal crossing for a little while. And then James was home! He had gone to the dentist. He has perfect teeth. 

I was kind of tired. He went to make pasta and I laid in bed under the covers because I was very cold. But soon I had pasta and felt better. 

Now I am hanging out in the dungeon. We are going to play a game with friends soon I think. Just have a little bit of normal. 

I am scared about tomorrow. I dont know how to explain it more then that. I just want to not know whats happening for as long as possible. I honestly dont think there is going to be a good outcome either way. But for real, if you havent voted yet, please go and do it tomorrow. Its so important. 

Goodnight everyone. Be safe. 

[correctmianitequotes]

(A/N good god this one’s a long one. Sorry not really sorry? lemme know if they’re too long, too short, or just right. as always, feedback is always SUPER appreciated, and if you have any ideas for where the series should go, please please please tell me!)

DAY 2: TUCKER

It’s been about two days on the island. I’m just now getting hungry. I guess now that I’m not constantly sprinting around with heavy armor on all the time I use less energy. Who’da guessed. 

So around midnight last night, while we were collecting seeds and trying to avoiding mobs, Tom said he had something important to discuss. 

“I just want to say I’m calling trial right now. I’m calling trial because just now- Sonja came up to me- and punched me.” Jordan gasped while Tom nodded. Sonja sputtered indignantly.

“I-no I- I didn’t-” Her words were drowned out by Tom’s cool tone. 

“Don’t worry, we’re going to have a fair trial here. Tucker, what do you think?”

“I vote she’s dead,” I declared.

“I vote she’s off the island as well!” Tom concurred. “Drown yourself! Drown yourself, woman!” 

“Oh… okay… goodbye everyone.” Sonja waded into the now cold water and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. She had taken off her shoes in the day and was walking around barefoot. Why? No clue. My girlfriend’s weird. 

Jordan, who had been quiet this whole time, diverted the conversation. “Alright, I’m tired of the mobs spawning. I’m lighting things up.”

“Yes, please,” I said. “Like a diamond, Jordan. Like a diamond in the sky.”

“Shine bright like a diamond~,” he sang, placing torches on the ground as he walked. 

“Oh wait, there are two zombie villagers over here!” Tom announced. “We should keep them and turn them back into villagers!”

“Oo! Yeah, let’s lure them into a trap, I got this,” I responded, digging a 2x2 hole in the ground.  Jordan made noises of uneasiness. I walked up to one of the zombie villagers and punched it twice. It started coming after me. Even walking, I outpaced it easily. My teammates were trying to trap the other one. I led my zombie over to the pit. “Come ‘ere, baby.” Unfortunately, the zombie was too smart for its own good and kept going in circles around my pit. 

“We got em! We got him in the pit!” Tom exclaimed. “Right, what should we name him?”

“Larry!”

“Terry Crews!”

“Oh, I guess Terry works,” Jordan conceded. “Still got that -erry theme going for it.”

“Dude, I need some help, this dude does not want to go in. Can someone please come and, like, punch him in here?” I asked.

“We already made a pit,” Tom said. “Come over here.” I followed him, and the zombie followed me. I walked around to the other side to tempt it to come and get me while Tom came up behind it to push it in. 

“Come’ere buddy,” I said. I gave Tom the signal. Tom ended up shoving it WAY TOO HARD and sent it flying RIGHT INTO ME.

“OW TOM WHAT THE SH- I JUST TOOK TWO DAMAGE!” I roared, reeling back. 

“Sorry mate, I guess I’m just too strong,” Tom apologized, flexing his muscles. Jordan laughed and took a swing at the zombie. It started coming back towards me. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I gave it a light tap towards the pit.

“Dude, just hit him in there! Haymaker ‘im! Haymaker ‘im!” Tom cheered. I backed away. 

“I don’t wanna kill it!” 

“Tucker, it has so much health compared to your measly fist!” Jordan prompted me. Now Tom laughed. 

“My measly fist is so strong, though,” I said, looking to my girlfriend. “Right, Sonj?” Sonja just grinned at me. She was watching from the sidelines, letting the boys do the hard work. 

Tom and Jordan teamed up and punched him back over to me. I was up against a ledge in the sand, and got hit again. And again. I was taking some real damage. I screeched in fear, scrambling away towards the torches. 

“Alright, I’m out, I’m not doing this, you guys suck, this was not worth it at all,” I ranted. Right as I said that, Tom and Jordan managed to hit it into the pit. I never realized how well they worked together until our final purge, when they teamed up briefly and absolutely wrecked everyone else. When they actually put their minds together to collaborate, they’re pretty unbeatable. 

I went back to the sand hut to heal. I had gotten hit pretty bad. I watched the entrance as Tom confronted two spiders and a zombie at once. He had gotten hold of an iron sword (probably from Jordan) and started beating the zombie back. This zombie had somehow gotten chain armor, which is weird because this island looks like it’s never had humans on it, ever. Instead of hitting the zombie and getting a nice thwack, all Tom got was a dull clink as his sword came in contact with the armor. Sonja came over to help with her stone sword. 

“Sonja, get out of the way,” I heard Tom mutter to her, concentrating on landing the blows just right. In the two and a half days we’ve been on the island, Sonja has already wandered into possible harm’s way twice now. The first time was when she was checking out the mine and kept walking in front of Jordan while he was trying to swing his pickaxe. 

“Sonja, get out of the way!” he reproached, nearly goring her with his stone pick. 

“Sorry!” she replied. “I’m just so curious!” 

“Well come be curious over here,” I said to her. She’s not very good at being aware of her surroundings. While Tom can never stay on task, she gets tunnel vision and ignores everything around her. Jordan’s good at both. It’s unconscious for him, I think. He’s been through so many worlds that checking over his shoulder is natural for him. If anyone of us makes it to the end (which we all probably will, ‘cept for Sonja. Sorry Sonj.), I think it’ll be him. 

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Anyways, back to the zombie fight. Sonja took out the spiders while Tom hit the zombie again and again. Finally, it dissipated in a puff of smoke, along with the armor. Damn. 

“I’m getting pretty hungry. Tucker, do you still have those apples?” she asked me. I clicked my tongue and shook my head. “Nah, I had to eat them. I’m still about half way away from being all healed up, and I need food too, so.” 

As the sun rose, so did our need for food. I could hear Sonja’s stomach growling. I wasn’t super hungry, but in order to properly heal I would need at least another apple or something. 

 It was actually Tom who came up with a solution. “Alright, this is now Team Fishing, bitches,” he announced. “Who’s fisharooing with me?”

“I’ll fish,” I offered. “Let’s go on a fishing trip. It’ll be fun.” I stepped over to the water and sat down on the sand, preparing to cast. 

Sonja’s voice distracted me. “Alright, these two chickens have banged and now there’s another one, should I kill one for food?” I frowned and put down my rod. 

“Don’t kill the chicken,” I told her, making my way over to her. 

“Well, no, I made them bang, see, and-”

Out of nowhere, I heard screaming behind me. I whipped around and saw Tom clutching himself, staring at a tree that had apparently just grown. Jordan, who had been right near him, was laughing. 

“Wait, what just happened?” I asked. 

Jordan laughed some more, putting his hand on Tom’s shoulder. “Dude, are you okay?” 

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Tom yelled. He didn’t seem to be injured, from what I could tell. “I AM AGAINST TREE GROWTH!” He started marching around, pulling up all those saplings I had planted. 

“What just- what was that?” I asked again. I’m still not really sure, but from what I understand- 

Wait. One second. 

Okay, so Tom has requested that he gets to write the part where he nearly died on day 2. I’m handing the pen over to Tom. 

Okay, so I was just walking around the island, when suddenly, I stepped over a sapling, and it just- f-ckin- grew on me! The tree was just like, “nope”. And it hurt alot, too! I have splinters everywhere, I’m going to be picking wood out of my toes and torso for days. Anyways, I am now #antitreegrowth and will now chop down any sapling that I see. And that is the story of I nearly died to a f-ckin tree. F-ckin Groot. Alright, peace, homies!

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Okay, so I just got the paper back, and I see that Tom doesn’t know how to spell “a lot”, so nice going Tom. 

Anyways, once Tom’s near death experience was over, we got back on track with fishing. I cast my rod into the water and sat down on the beach again. 

“Any extra fishing rods I could borrow? I can help with fishing, too,” Jordans commented. 

“Right, because we need food,” said Tom helpfully. (See what I mean about not staying on task?) He and Sonja were talking about breeding when I felt a tug on my rod. I jumped up excitedly and pulled. I reeled in my spoils. 

“GUYS, I CAUGHT A FEESH! A one pound feesh!” I exclaimed. I immediately went to put it in the furnace. It was a decently sized fish. Definitely not enough to feed a crowd of 10,ooo people or whatever Jesus did, but definitely enough to stop hunger pangs. 

“Aw nice!” Tom said. He gave me a thumbs up as he chopped down a tree with personal intensity. “Can I please have it?”

I thought for a moment. ‘Of course not, I caught the damn thing.” If I didn’t heal up these zombie wounds soon, they would get infected and I would end up looking like Tom (I would still be better looking than Tom, of course, but I like having non-green skin and not having to cover most of my body to avoid catching on fire when I stand out in the sun too long). Then I thought about how Tom did kind of save my ass from zombies earlier, and almost died to a tree, and how it’s always a good thing to reward Tom for remembering his “pleases” and “thank yous”.

“I’m putting it in the furnace for you,” I told him, sliding the fish in there. I’d eat the next one that I caught. 

“Really? Aw, thanks, man.” Tom sounded sort of surprised. I went back over to the ocean, where I saw Jordan standing with a fishing rod that he had borrowed from Tom. I plopped down next to him. 

Jordan sighed. “This is gonna take so long,” 

“Wanna crack open a beer?” I joked. Sidenote about me, I actually like fishing. It’s relaxing, and there’s a bonus in the fact that you get to eat something once you’re done. Just as I said that, I noticed Jordan’s sinker disappear.

“I got something”

“Reel it in, reel it in!” 

When Jordan pulled his line in, however, he did not get a delicious fish. He got an enchanted fishing rod! Lucky bastard. 

“Tom, here’s a return on your investment. One fishing rod,” Jordan said, proudly presenting his rod to Tom. 

Tom took it and checked it out. “Wait, now all three of us can fish!”  He jumped down the sand bank and sat in between Jordan and I. 

“That’s really odd, though. Like, we’re in the middle of nowhere. How did a fishing rod get out here?” Jordan wondered.

“Same thing with the armor and the zombie!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe we aren’t alone out here. Maybe other people have already been here and died and we’re next.” Everyone got quiet for a second, contemplating this theory. Then Tom broke the silence by launching into what he believed what was the history of this great island. Still, the idea that we weren’t the first lingered in my mind like the smell of fish in the air.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

We fished and shot the breeze for a couple of hours. Whenever we caught one, we would hand it off to Sonja, who would put it in the furnace while she worked on improving our base.

“I had no idea this would be so efficient!” Tom remarked. 

“E-fish-ent?” Jordan made that face he makes whenever he tells a stupid pun. Sonja and I groaned. Tom laughed, but Tom laughs at everything Jordan says. 

Sonja popped up at the top of the sand bank. “Hey tucker, do you need some feesh?” 

“I do, actually.” I responded. She dropped it on my head. 

“Wow, thanks Sonj,” I said, gobbling it up as fast as I could without choking on the bone. I started to feel better after that. Now all I needed was a good dip in salt water and bam! No more worrying about getting mistaken for zombie (or worse: Tom) and being killed by one of my teammates. I decided to wade into the water and sit down in the shallow part, letting my wounds take in the salt water. It stung a little, but the water was cool and it felt nice. Once we caught enough fish to last us a little while, we all went about separate tasks. I was in the mine when I heard Sonja say to no one in particular, “Where did my rabbit go?”

“Why’s it your rabbit? It’s gonna be our rabbit,” I retorted. 

“I guess so… Yay! I found him!” 

“What’s his name?” Tom asked. 

“Hmmm... “ Here we go again. It’s basically a law a law that you have to name every single thing that moves. First the zombie villagers, now this.

“Well he kind of looks like a cow…” 

“Name it Moo the Rabbit,” I suggested. “Or Bud.”

Sonja sounded like she liked that name.“Moo! Moo the Rabbit.” 

I ventured back up to the surface. I had gotten loads of iron and coal. The sun was setting again when I got up there, and I could smell porkchops. I saw my girlfriend chasing a bunny around, Jordan working on the house to make it less crap, and Tom improving our farm so that we could breed the cows that had appeared. I took a deep breath and smiled. We are gonna make this work. 

Well, either Tom or Sonja’s recording after me, so you’ll find out what happens next when they writes it all down. I’m actually pretty stoked. Good things are ahead.

Signing off,

Jericho.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Apparently my mom became a sort of boss..

Like one day she said Abu was escaping so she said for them to capture him then take him where he wanted to go.

For me, that's some bull shit to stay kidnapped and cry and complain she wouldn't be safe here.

That alone is all you're too much hassle to deal with during Christmas and Hanukkah. You didn't care about 31 of mine, you can stay in the hospital. Instead of us catering around you and your care and trying to enjoy our holidays, minus you and our life is better just as she said during nearly 33 years.

Because every dam day it's gonna be checking on mom and making sure things are okay and dealing with her bullying if she desieres to be one.

I was willing to do it so my dad could see her and us during the holidays and she didnt feel abandoned.

But she can have that feeling.

Of course my other siblings can vote, we set up different possibilities but im not baby sitting her like we were going. Another holiday but not 2 weeks of it.

......

My best friend was trained by my mom in the kitchen. One day she overslept so Abu sent for her father to protect her. And he became an in between from another farm to his daughter's. Neither one were sure who they were with but they felt better. Like how I always felt with her or our friend. Just better. No real reason why. Just better. Stronger and mentally clean. Like happiness isn't a sin.

.....

Our other friend was just a common slave, hidden under the ranks. But he had a guitar and things like that that many others didnt have. He was told to say he stole it. But he found it under a tree around Easter. A gift from God or the Easter Bunny. So he was treated with respect and protected more than other common slaves. Although he himself would protect any one there. As he went to save our friend. But was unable.

He gave lessons and found books of music sheets to learn new songs, here and there, usually tucked in his sheets when it was noticed he was failing at happiness.

While it may seem like only he got gifts... Anyone whom could hear recieved the gift of music and the more he taught others, the more guitars that would appear.

And one day a piano appeared. A small organ piano.

So he was the rockstar in the Queens eyes. Because i knew the Queen would protect him.

....

For our friend in the kitchen unique spices and recipies would appear hidden in the cabinet or sitting on the stove, again starting around Easter. Hers was before and the magic of music after. This granted her a better bed from the Queen and better shoes on Christmas, the kind nurses wear for all the farms kitchen workers, again from the Queen as Abu requested.

As my mother complained she quit cooking because her feet hurt. But refused to do anything about it, including asking the Queen, So i told Abu, i want to beat her face in so bad. And Abu said i have a better idea. Lets prove to the Queen they deserve them, in only the way the Queen will understand.

And so i prayed.

And i knew we won so i growled at my mother. And it scared her. But i did not attack her like a wild animal should, although I wanted to.

....

Abu found people all over that he felt a kindred spirit with so he did all kinds of things for them.

Of course new recipes and new spices induced a fresh day for my friend and fresh taste for all the victims that ate from her kitchen and as Abu saw it working, all the kitchens on all the farms.

....

It came from God, it is true. It did.

But as others have said that i have done a miracle this past week... I say it could not happened without help from other humans.

I choose not to be As critical of myself or Obama (as much as usual) for it being so long they have been kidnapped before I could help them, and since God blessed his human traffic victims with gifts that protected them as provided from Abu and his workers that would slip in the gifts and surprises. It makes it easier to not be so critical of him and myself.

....

The reason I write is because of another dear friend i saw as a father. We call him Hondo.

Because Ms Hindi says he thinks like her.

And Ms Hindi said God says no Christmas for mom. As her punishment as he can review his list.

But Hondo was kidnapped with the promise of surfing down South and he wanted to teach his son.

But instead he became a human traffic victim.

He thought his son had died over a decade and half ago. So he could not return home. He thought he didn't deserve it.

So he told himself it was better to stay with Abu and make sure Abu stays good. And doesnt end up like my mom. So one day, he kept his fingers crossed, that he could promise me i would be safe with Abu. And he could teach me the truth and the difference between him and her.

Then maybe, maybe, God would tell him or he would feel or finally believe he could go home and his wife would not hate him

But at least maybe he could get into Heaven to see her Then because he helped someone that he saw and took care of and loved as he did his own kid.

He uses Matt to send money home on the holidays. And he uses his money from work to hire security and protection for his wife and daughter at home. Matt bought them a new house -- But Matt hes a dork. Was too afraid to So he pretended he bought the trailer they were in and hooked it up and tried to move it. So he apologized with 1 million dollars.

Boys are dumbasses. But it worked!!!

....

So you see that all kinds of people i know but each one are absolutely different.

While Hondo is afraid and ashamed.

My mother is manipulative and egotistical.

One friend has no father But another has had hers nearby and has built a relationship with him. (Our male friend went to pack, not wanting to leave, not knowing who is really behind the move - knowing the bull shit his father is capable of although dead -- they're all the same; while shes with her dad and they had packed the first minute she had)

....

Crates with packing material have been flown in about 2 hours ago and the DNA test kits arrived and some people have been tested.

Like my mother was tested and then compared with my DNA test i had already taken at 23andme.

Some of us were hoping she was buried down in the common slave department. Unfortunately we all know our parents even when we don't want them.

....

My best friend's mom as we were taught is her mom is still alive as is her younger sister and shes got nieces and nephews. But her family is like mine and got mixed with non familial relatives and family. So the DNA tests will come in handy.

Our friend still has his brother and the mom he had has died but the father he was left to is still alive. And hes a good guy, he always said his mom was only good at cooking and he was supposed to ignore her otherwise. So he has his own family to return to, although its a mix of blood and love. His was based on honesty although his father is a horrible criminal, he was raised with as much information as possible. DNA tests will be helpful also, though but not as, we feel, dammed important. Not Because his father is a criminal, we just feel there's honesty.

Hes the same as Declan and so there's no bad to fall upon him, he wasn't asked to be born to him. Or to be born at all.

And so no one really that i know of is to be treated bad at all.

My mom although we aren't giving her what we want for 99.9% of the victims, shes not being punished as far as real punishment goes. We are electing her to get real instead of having fun. So being in a mental hospital or physical hospital instead of being at a house with guards and family time. It happens all the time everywhere. Regardless if you're a human trafficker or new born with cancer or a teenager that no one listens to.

....

So i do hope that everyone understand that the majority over 99.9% didn't want to be kidnapped to be kidnapped and human trafficked.

And a lot of the adults feel guilty and ashamed.

Weak and dumb and a whole list of things that should give them reasons to be hated by their own family.

Like Hondo.

.

So many people think if i do this one thing and it's good to God then i can move on.

So those that have been here 10 years. Not all feel that way but im sure that quite a large handful do.

And those in Iraq will have that mental disturbance.

....

So for y'all at home waiting for your loved ones. Remind them to be safe. Like no hitchhikers and no hitchhiking.

But also remind them that its okay. Its okay they are home.

Our neighbor Hondo was in the Military and took a ride with Jeremiah. We trusted him to a small degree as he was always in the neighborhood and had a charm like a sleezy car salesman.

Which is why they are going to be gifted cars, so they don't take rides with someone they shouldn't trust but do.

And we admit there will be a huge amount of mental issues, thoughts, that will be difficult to deal with for the victims and for the families to give correct advice.

Guidelines of Safety and Emergency Situations will be provided to both the family and the victims.

Like a mental break down is possible. A panic attack is possible.

For both sides.

Step One is to realize the situation. 1. The kidnapped has been released and is free. Breathe. 2. Both the family and victim are loved. Breathe.

Usually there's just a simple "what color shirt do i want to buy?" Can set off a whole fucked up system in the minds. It can happen to a "normal" person. Don't think im not speaking from experience!!

Step Two: step away. Drop the topic. Stop what you are doing. Let someone else handle it. Or try again after sleep. Not because there is something wrong with you but because you're not taking care of you. Youre probably over stimulated. Again personal experience. So don't feel like trash.

Step three: pray. Just ask. Insert the word "God and help and me and what you are trying to do."

Repeat.

There's more examples in the lists that will be sent. But this is the short version. And they will cover emergency situations which is just about the same but the why is explained in details.

And the above works for any one And everyone.

[sage-nebula]

THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 2 TRAILER BREAKDOWN

I’ve already watched the trailer once, and my mind just about exploded, so now I’m watching it again and I’m going to basically liveblog it with reactions, analyses, thoughts, and other such things. Everything will be beneath the cut for those who don’t wish to see, and also because I feel like this is going to get pretty long.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I would die and kill for Azymondias. Literally he is the most precious being in this entire show and I would do anything for him, sweet baby boy.

But speaking of dragons . . .

I STAN TWO DRAGONS. Okay, no, but real talk:

In the voiceover for this part, Viren says:

“There have been reports of shadows in the clouds. Dragons! Flying high above the towns of Katolis!”

I’m . . . suspicious.

I know that this voiceover is given with the shot of this beautiful dragon flying overhead, but here’s the thing: We see them flying over Soren’s head:

Soren may or may not still be in Katolis in this shot. Soren and Claudia are following Callum, Rayla, Ezran, and Azymondias. Those four are headed into Xadia. We don’t know when they’ll make it to Xadia, but it’s possible they do make it there, or at least near there, and that’s when this shot takes place. It’s possible this dragon isn’t above Katolis at all, but is instead somewhere far closer (and maybe even over) the border.

And that would make sense. Why would the dragons be going to Katolis now? The moonshadow elves were the ones sent to take vengeance on behalf of the dragon queen, and Runaan sent his arrow telling her that Harrow was dead. I suppose you could argue that since they never received word of Ezran’s death they’re now sending dragons to scout and look for the assassins, but I find that unlikely. In my opinion, if they were going to go after Katolis themselves, they would have done that first, rather than sending the moonshadow elves. I simply don’t see a motivation for the dragons to fly over Katolis now.

More importantly, though, is what Viren says. He says there are “reports of shadows in the clouds.” He then says that those shadows are dragons. Here’s the thing: shadows could be anything. They could be birds. They could be some other sort of flying creature, and hell, they could even be more clouds, with the way the sun plays on them. But Viren knows that the people of Katolis are currently in a state of fear and unrest since Harrow was assassinated and the princes are missing. He wants the throne, and one way to get it is to have the people themselves insist on putting him on it because there are no other options and they’re scared. And what’s scarier to the people of Katolis than massive dragons in the sky? No one has seen any actual dragons (and you’d think they’d be pretty hard to miss), but people have seen shadows that Viren has now made them think are dragons, and so every single time they see a shadow, they’ll flinch. To me, it sounds an awful lot like Viren is trying to stir up fear in order to get a popular vote to put him on the throne whether the princes die by Soren’s hand or not. Him going on to say:

“And Sunfire Elves are gathering near the border. An invasion is imminent!”

Only serves to stoke the fires (pardon the pun) of that fire. Presumably, elves were already near the border, which is why Amaya and her troops are there. But Viren is acting like this is a new development, and him doing that is made to further stir up fear among the people. Moreover, Viren saying that the Sunfire Elves being near the border means impending invasion is also a way to subtly undermine Amaya; she’s there guarding the border, but he’s basically saying that she’ll be ineffective in stopping the Sunfire Elves. Since he’s in a position of authority as well, and since he’s already making the people terrified, this serves to plant the idea (at least in the public subconscious) that Amaya isn’t strong enough to stop things on her own, thus they need Viren and his leadership.

Meanwhile, as he says “we must be prepared to fight!” Amaya is already fighting and has been prepared for a long time now. Also, on that note, I DON’T KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR HERE. I LOVE AMAYA BUT ALSO THAT SUNFIRE ELF LOOKS AMAZING AHHHHHH

Amaya may be fighting at the border and Gren may be in the dungeon, but Opeli is carrying on the message of wanting to find the princes. I think the Amaya/Opeli shippers may be onto something tbh.

AARAVOS? IS THAT YOU??

More importantly, the voiceover we get at that part (is that Lujanne? I plan to rewatch s1 before s2 releases but I haven’t done it yet) at that part says “dark forces are pursuing you.” We see Aaravos and Viren, but if that is Lujanne (particularly since it’s followed by Rayla saying “Nooobody likes dark forces”), then that leads me to think she’s actually referring to Soren and Claudia, which would make sense since Claudia is the dark magic prodigy willing to torture people to get what she wants instead of giving them quick, merciful deaths.

Also, this shot of Viren:

He gathered up the fire around him, but I think it’s relevant that this shot followed the shot of Aaravos using fire magic as well, given what we learned in Aaravos’ bio on the website today:

The ability to gather up the fire like that might have been a gift that Aaravos gave to Viren. But why? Why would an elf bequeath a gift like that unto a human, and particularly one that sees magical beings as being batteries for power? Particularly one who seals moonshadow elves into coins? Hmm . . . that poem that we were given might have something to do with it . . . we’ll supposedly find the rest “hidden in season two” . . .

HE JUST FLIPS HIS FOOD ONTO BAIT’S HEAD AND AVA’S LIKE “what r u doin” AND AZYMONDIAS IS JUST AMUSED SDJFKSLDJFDS EVEN WHEN HE’S TECHNICALLY BEING NAUGHTY I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S SO PRECIOUS

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of people freaking out about Aanya’s safety in this scene, but here’s the thing:

They’re not attacking her. 

Aanya does look freaked out and scared, but these elves aren’t attacking her. If they wanted to attack her, they’d do it. She’s right there. Her neck isn’t covered by armor. They could kill her if they wanted to, but they’re not. Instead, it looks like they’re moving to fight someone in front of her, which leaves us two possibilities: Either they think that there’s a bigger threat right in front of them than the tiny human queen on the throne, or they’re defending her from what they see as the bigger threat (which gives more credence to my idea that Aanya might have elf allies on her side). It’s possible that the reason why Aanya is freaking out is because she didn’t expect them to be able to transform like that, and not because they’re elves with weapons in her throne room.

More worrying, though, is their appearance. That’s not how moonshadow elves look under the light of the full moon. Their eyes didn’t glow red like that. They weren’t completely black like that. Could this be how they look under a new moon? I guess . . . but these elves also look kind of similar to the ones that were killed in the King Harrow assassination attempt, so I’d say it’s also possible that these are zombie elves. If that’s the case, and if these aren’t Aanya’s friends, then might it be possible that this is a trick by Viren made to make the rulers of the other kingdoms see Xadia as even more of a threat than they did previously? HMMM . . .

I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR HIM.

Okay, so here’s the thing: The voiceover for this part is Callum saying:

“I want to learn primal magic. But you have to be born with that magic inside you.”

I feel like the fact that we have that voiceover with these clips is significant. I think it’s significant, too, that Lujanne is showing such a blatantly elven magic thing to Callum instead of Rayla. I think we might see potential this season for Callum to find out that he does have some primal magic inside him. I’m not saying “half-elf Callum” but . . . I’m not not saying that, you feel me? (And what if that’s what Harrow’s letter to Callum was? What if he was telling Callum of his inherent magical ability, and asking him to use that inherent ability---rather than dark magic---to help Ezran be king? HMMM . . .)

However, then we get this bit from Claudia:

“That’s the great thing about dark magic! You just take creatures that are born with that magic inside, and . . . squeeze it out of them!”

YEAH, BIG MOOD, CALLUM.

See, this is what I’ve been saying about Claudia and dark magic this entire time. Everyone wants to peg Claudia as a sweet cinnamon roll because she’s quirky and funny and loves her brother, but the thing is . . . where Soren was going to give Runaan a quick, arguably merciful death, Claudia instead ordered him to be tied up because she thought she could get “more use” out of him. She wanted to drain him dry of his magic, even though that meant chaining him up in the dungeon and killing him slowly (and he later had his soul drained, screaming). Claudia believes Viren that Azymondias’ egg is a thing, and she sees it as a powerful weapon. Why? Because Azymondias is a dragon, presumably, and dragons are incredibly powerful. Even here, look at the expression on her face as she squeezes her book, listen to the tone of her voice and what she says; Claudia thinks it’s great to kill magical beings and take their magic for her own use. She gets enjoyment and pleasure out of it.

Comparisons could be made between this and killing animals for food. What’s the difference between killing a cow to get a stake, and killing an elf to get their magic? The difference is the necessity. People need to eat. If they don’t eat, they’ll starve. And if people need to eat meat for protein or other dietary reasons, they need to kill a cow to get that meat. (Or a chicken, or a deer, or an elk, or whatever else.) But humans, even in this universe, don’t need to use magic. It’s not necessary for their survival. Eating is, but dark magic isn’t. It certainly isn’t to the extent that Claudia uses it, for pranks and making pancakes. Claudia delights in the torture and death of magical creatures for her own personal convenience. She doesn’t have to do the things she does---she could just make normal pancakes like a normal person---but she chooses to, and she likes it, she promotes it as being great. But it isn’t, and Callum’s reaction here tells us that, even in this world, Claudia’s behavior and attitude in this arena is out of the ordinary. And before anyone blames this on Viren, no. Viren taught her dark magic originally, yes, but Claudia is sixteen. She’s old enough to know right from wrong, to think and make decisions for herself, and her reaction to Viren telling her to sacrifice Soren tells us that she does recognize when Viren says things she disagrees with. Claudia’s opinions and behavior with regards to dark magic are entirely her own. Her complete disregard for the lives of magical beings, and her willingness to torture their magic out of them for her own personal convenience and gain, is entirely her own.

Does Claudia have elements of sweetness in her toward those she loves? Sure.

But she’s still incredibly dangerous and has a sadistic side to her as well. As Aaron Ehasz said, if she was a bender in the Avatar universe, she’d be a bloodbender.

TAKE HIM DOWN, RAYLA! KICK HIS ASS, BABY, I GOT YO’ BRAID!!!!

Oh nooooo, what is happening here. My first thought was that perhaps Callum just learned of Harrow’s death, but in that case I find it strange that we don’t have Ezran in this shot as well. So perhaps, since we know that Soren and Claudia catch up to them, Claudia gives Callum the letter that Harrow wrote for him, Callum read it . . . and that’s what leads to this. ;A;

I STAN A QUEEN.

THAT LOOKS LIKE QUEEN SARAI ON THAT HORSE. And that person on the back . . .

THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE VIREN.

So here are my thoughts: We know that King Thunder was known for protecting the border. Whenever humans tried to cross, Thunder fended them off. My thought is that Viren crossed the border to poach more magical creatures for use in his dark magic spells. After all, magical creatures aren’t native to the human kingdoms, so the only place he could get them is within Xadia. When Viren crossed the border, this angered Thunder, and Thunder did what he always did: He attacked in order to defend the Xadians (which, considering Viren likely wanted to poach them for dark magic, is fair).

Now, here’s where Sarai comes in: Either Viren convinced Sarai to take him across the border in the first place, or Sarai found out what he was doing somehow and ran in to rescue him. Either way, she got him on the back of her horse and together they fled from Thunder’s attack. But whether Thunder was directly attacking them or trying to fend them off doesn’t really matter much when he’s causing lightning to crash down around them. Their horse was only a horse, and likely it got scared. There’s a very high probability that they were both thrown from the horse. Viren sustained permanent injury in his leg, and Sarai was killed. This is what led to Harrow, in his griefstricken rage, deciding to slay Thunder.

I know a lot of people will read that and will decide that the moonshadow elves were not justified in killing Harrow, then, because Thunder killed Sarai first, but if you think that, I ask you to look at this hypothetical scenario again. Thunder only retaliated to drive humans—at least one of whom wanted to poach and therefore kill Thunder’s people for dark magic—out of Xadia. Thunder wouldn’t leave the border; he was always there to defend it. Viren is the one who instigated this conflict if this scenario pans out, not Thunder. That doesn’t mean it was all right for Sarai to die—she was a casualty in this—but it does mean that if anyone “started it,” it was Viren.

And do you know who else I think holds this opinion? Amaya.

This would explain Amaya’s mistrust of Viren: she blames him for Sarai’s death. Viren was the one who decided to cross the border, either necessitating Sarai’s rescue or goading Sarai to go with him. Either way, it was not something that needed to be done. But he did it anyway, and Sarai died for it. There’s a possibility that Amaya even believes this was premeditated on Viren’s part, that he wanted Sarai to die so that he could have a stronger voice in Harrow’s ear. Whether or not that’s true, though, I do think Amaya would blame Viren for Sarai’s death in this scenario, which would perfectly explain why she doesn’t trust or like him at all.

(Also, while I think that Viren would cross to poach magical creatures, it’s also possible that he crossed because he found out that the dragon queen had an egg, and that he wanted to steal Azymondias’ egg from the get-go. Claudia said that Viren views it as a weapon, and we know that Viren himself views it as more valuable than his own son. If Thunder retaliated against Viren and Sarai so fiercely, it could be because Viren wasn’t only there to poach creatures, but that Viren was caught trying to steal Azymondias’ egg, which caused Thunder to retaliate even more harshly than he ordinarily would have. In that case, Viren would goad Harrow to kill Thunder not just out of retaliation, but also so he could have another shot at stealing the egg, which he then did. It’s something to think about, anyway.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOO ;A;

UMMMMM? CALLUM???? IS THAT DARK MAGIC I SEE? ARE YOU DOING DARK MAGIC????

I am . . . SO upset if this is Callum using dark magic like I think it is. Like how DARE he, how DARE he do that. I really, really hope this is some kind of misdirect, or that he immediately regrets his decision, but Callum, CALLUM, how DARE you, Callum, how DARE you!!!!

“EAT HIM, DRAGON!!” I scream, knowing full well that this is the same dead dragon that we saw Ezran by just moments ago. (Note that I don’t hate Soren, but it’s just that if his opponents are Rayla or a dragon, I’m going to root for them and not him.)

All in all, my head is spinning, my mind is blown, and I was already hyped through the roof but now I’m even more so. SEASON TWO. SEASON TWO CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH.

[survivemiddleearth]

Rites of Passage

-

Crow- Bruh. I thought we were going to be friends/allies in this game but then I hear you were telling the entire tribe how I was not to be trusted and as much as you mock me for my lack of a social game, it sure saved me there! But still love ya and hope things have gotten better, and hey, maybe you were smart for targeting me from the start :P

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0 

Roxy- runaway with me noww  oh its come away with me fuck

Dylan- king of first boot

Well mine was short lol. but I think Crow has played an amazing game and def deserves this dub :)

Crow- Although I personally trusted you, you were just unfortunately the outsider from the start and with having proof of Drew/Zach sparing me, I didn't want to risk reaching my neck out for you and getting labeled as trying to play both sides. You were robbed though, it was just because our tribe was so garbage at comps...

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE 

Roxy- We didn’t meet in this game

Dylan- king of second boot

-

Crow- Legendary flop! You were hilarious and completely messy and if there's any way to bond with me, it's that. Unfortunately flops are always targeted for some reason pre-merge (maybe cuz they wreck their tribe average??? no shade, but) but I would have KILLED for your commentary from post-merge onwards cuz I felt completely alone being the only one constantly hogging the spotlight :/

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfHHv7yOYX0

Roxy- skinny legend

Dylan- you would have killed the lip syncing comp but these losers flipped the vote

Aah, what a fun time I had during this game (from the little I remember). I still would like to say it was a wonderful tribal, 8-0? wow so great. COuldn’t do it without people hating me <3 jkjk. Anyways! It was fun while it lasted and hopefully was fun for everyone that was in it too.

Crow-  Okay, truth be told, I really thought you were like the social queen of your tribe but when tribal came around and people said your name, I felt powerless, as the only person from Pikachu, to try and sway it, and especially when you seemed okay with it. Thank you for having a graceful exit, not many people can do that nowadays....

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID-sYQNCew 

Roxy- http://sketchtoy.com/68755176 

Dylan- queen of having crazy fast internet. accepted her defeat which was iconic 

This game seemed very fun and I loved the opportunity to play, I wish I didn’t get so busy so I could’ve backstabbed Roxy like I planned. Ah well. Congrats on getting so far I hope the game was fun for you all!

Crow- I know I'm a big reason why you were cut just shy of merge but it was more of a move to solidify Sammy/Johnny (and supposed to be Eric...) and break apart the potential trio I saw in you, Roxy, and Dennis (I mean, now I'm sitting next to both of them in f4 so can't say I regret it :P ) You were a very intelligent, brash guy and I hope you know that your placement was not indicative of your game. Hope the novel turns out well!

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY 

Roxy- MY AUSSIE BUDDY UGH/ I wonder how this game wouldve gone with you here. You were fun to talk to and play  with and i loved chatting about the shows we both loved together/

Dylan- king of being blindsided. second season where I watched you get blindsided from a different tribe. 

-

Crow- Thank god you didn't try in this game. I didn't even want to get into the ring with you again and go for Round 3. Thanks for making this one easy :P

Dennis-  You freaking stole my tom bombadil to just be inactive -.-

Roxy- L

Dylan-  making it to merge without doing anything ? queen

That damn bitch Beyoncé got me again huh. I swore I wouldn't let her after last time but she always has to have the last word. Thank god she's been outed as a satanic black witch!!! Thank you to the brave former drummer for walking in the light and exposing her depravity. I will expect my reparations settlement money in the mail.

Crow- Okay I literally feel so bad like comforting you in that round but know that I was completely blindsided by it myself so I really hope that wasn't misunderstood as me trying to make sure you were blindsided asghsgsho but thanks for taking the bullet then! Love a good shiel- bodyguard.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdCslA8xs98

Roxy-  nnnn I remember when I saw you in merge I was hyper excited to play with you. I never really allied with you or met you in games so finally getting to play with you finally a familiar face from your tribe was refereshing and welcoming. I told you to f2 me or im quitting lmfao. That lasted long ... rdfc Your vote off was a mess of flipping multiple names thrown and idols. I feel like we drifted during the day or 2 leading up to the tribal and we didn't really talk game that round which was sad. I really wanted to have you as a clsoe allly that game but it ended up the way it did since I saw jg as a closer ally.

Dylan- literally actually the most robbed person in this entire game. you were missed

This game was pretty fun. All of the people I was close to voting me out and losing on a twist was pretty shitty. I’d just never do these challenges ever again. :P

Crow- You're honestly just a mess. P.S. My beard is now gone because of you.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

Roxy- hahah hi hi johnny. “Daddy”. You are always a great blast to play with even though we have yet to truly get somewhere together. ALthough in hos we were close it was just a diverging of end game interests that tore us apart. I remember the jokes we made about applying for this org. I had no idea when I was applying that I would make it this far and when I applied for you as a joke haha. My biggest regret is not telling you about the vote and what was going down. Our relationship this game was sort of foggy but it was great while it lsted. 

Dylan- voted for me but you’re so lovable 

-

Crow- We were never on a pre-merge tribe together, then you made the big-ass move to blindside Drew at the first vote (without telling me, which no hard feelings) so when it came down to our mini-tribe's tribal, I felt like it was too little too late for both of us to try and make something happen together? I'd say we just fell on opposite sides rather than being enemies. But I hope you've been watching because I know you're an analytical guy who's obsessed with Survivor so I would love to hear your input as a juror.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YShWLjj1TO0 

Roxy- UGH SO ROBBED!!! We had so much potential to play a fun game together but the unmerge robbed us of that T_T im glad we got to play together for one round at least

Dylan-  you and I have a lot in common, we both put our trust in the wrong person.

Hey y’all! This was game was fun and fresh and I did better than last time so I definitely achieved my goal! There really wasn’t anything shady going on until the night I left and I’m sure that was aired out so I have nothing to spill. Tbh I was just bored and wanted to be messy and have fun. It was a fun last night! I had a great time playing with everyone and good luck to the final 4!

Crow- Truth be told, I really didn't see myself voting you out so soon. I thought we were working together, sorta, but it always felt like you had better allies? Which I don't fault you for, I know I was not the most critical ally, for like, anyone in this game, but that's purely the reason I decided to vote you out over Eric. I might regret it though since Eric pretty much shunned me from there on out and I know you would've really appreciated me saving you.....but it is what it is. (also you didn't swipe on my tinder so im kinda insulted but dats fine!)

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM 

Roxy- Hey zach!! You seem like a really sweet person. We didn’t really hit if off and we never clicked together. WE had different allies and diff groups so us allyining was never really an option. I recon its just how the game unfolded and you were loyal to your allies while i was to mine and i respect you for that despite the mess of how you left. 

Dylan- why didn’t you give me the legacy idol. I’m kidding I would’ve misused it 

I really didn’t know what I was getting into here, and I REALLY liked it!! Who knew performing arbitrary semi-public tasks with complete strangers could be so much fun? I wish each of you the best, in the game and out of it. May Manwë smile upon those who walk the world; may Mandos rule with steady hand those who rest in his hall.

Crow- Literally, you were the only one I was just like, hey, he's probably not going to lie to me. And so it's ironic that we also never talked game other than the casual vote here and then....you were a very interesting person though so I wish I hadn't got caught up in the game as much and really tried to connect with you as a person, and for that, I take the blame.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY 

Roxy- Ford!! When I first saw you in the scvanger hunt I asked "are you single ?" nnn you seem like a cool dude and you were fun to play with despite the fact we never really talkde game and we werent really aligned this game/ I still promised you to be honest to you and I think i pulled through on that. It was amazing fun to play with you and i hope you luck in yoru studies.

Dylan- you were amazing sweetie as a newbie you made it so far omg 

Hey guys! Like I said before I quit, I have no regrets about the game and how I played it. If I stuck around the community I would have loved to be friends with all of you! Best of luck to you all and may the best player win!

Crow- Hope everything is okay in your real life and I hope you were never offended by anything I did or said. I completely understand your game decisions and you don't ever need to apologize for them. You were a chaotic mess, but genuine and real, so you have my respect. You also proved what I've always thought you were (even back in Great Lakes) as a really go-getter type of player.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs 

Roxy- rip gl with life

Dylan- I loved how we found middle ground during the F7. 

hiii yes i don’t have much to say. i had a blast and made some amazing friends and just goofed off a lot. No hard feelings, you are all icons...I’m rooting for one of you but i wish you all good luck!

Crow- Okay I love you as a person, but like, you also betrayed me for no reason so I'm a little confused as to why or how we stand now, but just know that whatever your reasons for doing so, it doesn't change how I see you as a person. And even through my bitterness in the betrayal, I will admit, you didn't deserve to go out like that.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY 

Roxy- Sammy!! Weve had a very varied ride in our org careers and this game was no exception/ I feel like timezones really got to us this time round and early on our games diverged when I tried to save stephen and you tried to save Eric.  During merge and then unmerge i think you bonded more with jay and that tribe so we never really played as allies. Howveer i think the way you left did not give you justice. Jay letting you get idoled out after you were one of the few who stuck with her and then her quitting just because people were voting her out. You did NOT deserve that. And I was honestly  mad at jay for doing you dirty. 

Dylan- cirie who ? Jay shoulda used that idol on you you were the second most robbed queen 

-

Crow- Well, I had your back. I knew of multiple of your misdeeds in previous rounds and I think you knew that? But game-wise we were very compatible in playing styles (not similar, but definitely compatible - you were the strategic one, I was the......other...one) so although your exit was less than glorious for me, I do hope you find comfort in your gameplay and know that you were really impactful on the game, for better or worse.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ 

Roxy- nnnnnn she snapt

Dylan- there’s not enough space to describe anything but the takeaway is that I hope you know that like I actually genuinely care about your well being 

We just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who came to have fun and played to their fullest extent. Jo and I have worked on this game for months and like we’ve said all along: the goal for this was for everyone to have fun in the chaos and the world of LOTR and Survivor combined. There’s a lot of drama and toxicity in the org community and in the world right now and if this game provided you with any sort of reprieve from either that’s all we could ever hope for. We hope you had a great time, we know we did, and we want to reiterate again: thank you all for bringing this game to life and for participating. Good luck to our final 4!

Love, 

Olivia and Joanna <3

[quest-draws]

Excerpt from The Story of the Seven: Reconstructed, an archival initiative seeking to recreate Madame Lucretia’s original notes with as much accuracy as possible. The following has been compiled by comparing post-Story accounts from dozens of dedicated chroniclers, with oversight from Madame Lucretia and the available members of the Starblaster’s crew. 

Excerpt begins 

Cycle 36, day 6

     We’ve finally found a sign of civilization, as well as plausible evidence that we are all blind idiots. As we flew over yet more icy foothills, Merle (Of all of us!) noticed that one of the mounds appeared to be smoking. Under more careful examination we realized that these ‘foothills’ were actually snowed-covered buildings, meaning it is quite likely the other foothills we’ve seen the past few days were also actually buildings. 

     We, the best and brightest of our deceased world, saviors of multiple realities, the last and only line of defense against the relentless malevolence of the Hunger, wasted nearly a week looking for signs of life when there were entire cities directly under our hull. At the risk of sounding pessimistic, I think this world may be fucked. 

     Now that we’ve realized our mistake, Captain wants us to backtrack and see if we can find a settlement closer to Lup and Barry’s original prediction of the Lights trajectory. However, Lup’s trying to convince him that we should do some reconnaissance in this village first. 

LT: Look, there’s no point going backwards in this fuckin’ blizzard if we can just-

CD: -We are way, way off, the- they’re your calculations? Do you- 

BB: [crosstalk] They’re our calculations, Lu

LT: [crosstalk] I know.

TT: [crosstalk] You calculated ‘em. calc-calculated the shit outta- 

[LT puts up a hand to silence the others]

LT: Look I’m not dunking on my calculations, cause they’re tight as shit, ‘natch; outside looks like someone put a flock of doves through a woodchipper. You wanna fly through that?

CD: [crosstalk] I’m not- 

MB: [crosstalk] Gross?

LT: [crosstalk] Been flying six days straight, you wanna keep, keep flyin’- 

CD: I don’t wanna fly through the scenario you just made me visualize, no. This is just snow. 

[MB raises his hand kind of awkwardly. Mags, c’mon, you’re not 12]

MB: Uuum, Cap’nport? No offense but you look kinda beat, are you sure?

CD: Wh- excuse me. Are you questioning my piloting abilities, Magnus?

MB: [crosstalk] ‘Course not, just-

CD: [crosstalk] I’ve flown us through, through literal eldritch death pillars - 

MH: [crosstalk] ...do look a little tired -  

MB: I know!

[captain gets out of the pilots seat, oh dear]

CD: What was that? Merle? 

LT: It’s been nearly a week, Captain. You haven’t slept. 

CD: Neither have you!

LT: Yeah, and I’m pissed about it! 

BB: look everyone’s a little frazzled- 

MH: I’m fine. 

BB: [crosstalk] Merle, oh my-

LT: [crosstalk] Merle!

TT: [crosstalk] Hahaha holy fuck Merle! Not the time?

CD: You know what, okay, fine! Okay, we’ll vote. Let’s vote. Who thinks we should go down there? 

[Lup, Mag  LT, MB, and BB all put up their hands]

CD: All right, and who says we should turn back?

[CD, TT, and MH put up their hands]

CD: Lucretia.

TT: Lu- Baby-Lu, fuckin’ put dowait I forgot to put myhandupfuck

LC: I’m not answering to that, but I do thin k 

[TT attepts to take my fuckin

Taako tried to take my journal, and while I understand his intentions it’s imperi

BABY LU NEEDS TO STOP WRITING OUR CONVERSATIONS IN REAL TIME AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND HER

BABY LU WILL GET HER JOURNAL BACK WHEN THE GROWN UPS DECIDE WHAT WERE DOING IN THIS FROZEN FUCKING HELLSCAPE 

     After my journal was so rudely stolen, we decided that it would be best to have some of the crew investigate the settlement while the others got some rest. Captain landed the Starblaster just out of sight (not far with the weather) and Lup, Magnus and I made our way into town on foot. We were ushered into the smoking building Merle first noticed almost as soon as we were in sight of it. It’s apparently some sort of tavern/town hall, with one long, open room punctuated by tables and some truly massive support beams. 

     Chiana, the innkeeper (or possibly Mayor? Chief? They are definitely some measure of authority figure) was quite unsettled by our sudden appearance. It’s apparently unusual for people to travel between communities at this time of year, especially in the middle of the night (which it apparently is. We seriously lost track of time with the storm blocking out the suns). They’ve insisted on putting us up until the storm settles some. We have of course accepted, but we decided that it might be best not to mention our true intentions here. They were spooked just by us appearing in a blizzard, we don’t need to bring up the rest of it. We notified Capn’port that we’ll be staying a few days to gather info, and since then Lup and Magnus have been having quite the time chatting with the assorted patrons/guests. 

     This really is quite a spectacular building. The ceiling is only about 7 ft. high (Lup and Mags can both touch the ceiling), but it’s so wide and long it doesn’t feel cramped. It’s hard to estimate how large it is exactly; the hall is a patchwork of additions, none of which quite match up. Here an extra nook were the hall was widened, there a slight indent were an old support must have collapsed. Wood flooring giving way to tile, tile being overtaken by carpet, and then carpet receding back to wood again. The support beams are the only consistent element, solid blocks of wood punctuating the room at even intervals. 

    But the room’s really dominated by the kitchens and the dance floor. The kitchens are spaced along the northern wall about 50 ft. from one another, one in each corner and the last right in the center. The latter is the only one operational at the moment, and Chiana’s not making anything more complicated than some mulled cider (which, for the sake of accurate chronicling, I must say is delicious). I thought at first the stove here was heating the hall, and while it’s fairly large on closer inspection that doesn’t seem plausibe. It’s far too warm, even in the farther corners. I suppose the surrounding snow might provide some insulation? 

     Besides that, there’s a raised dance platform in the center of the hall, in front of the middle kitchen. Lup’s dragged Magnus and a two middle aged women onto it, though there isn’t any music at this hour. She's currently waving at me to come join them. I’ve been nursing the drink Chianna gave me so I’d have an excuse to stay seated, but I think I’d better relent before Lup tries to physically drag me up there. They’re really acting silly tonight, but I suppose we all needed to blow off some steam. 

     Alright. Okay. I probably should have noticed this when I first started drinking, but the alcohol here seems to be quite a bit stronger then I’m used too? Or what Lup and Magnus are used too. I didn’t notice until I went out on the dance floor and I kind of tripped but at first I thought that was just me being clumsy or tired, but then when I started actually dancing it was worse like, I’m usually a good dancer. And Lup was acting especially silly and so was magnus, even though he should have a better constitution than us because he’s not a squishy wizard he’s a beefcake. Lup said that. 

Fuck okay I am definitely a little tipsy here I should stop writing. But I was going to write somethig down it was important? we were dancing, and then I was stumbling and I said like Lup I feel kinda tipsy but I only had one drink and she said Aaaaaww ‘Creesha, you are suuuuuuuuuch a lightweight lol but then she fell over and Magnus laughed and one of the ladies we were dancing with asked how much she’d had and shed had three, which made them laugh because apparently threes a lot here. And then we all sat down for a bit and we were talking about travelling and it was kind bullshit because we are trying to blend but we mentioned THE LIGHT THAT 

THAT WAS IT LIGHT LIGT light the light what was that aaaaah what was OH MY GOD I CAN’T REMEMBER THE REST FUCK I [[handwriting becomes illegible]]

okay okay I went back to talk again and I had a few more drinks because chiana gave me more drinks they are actually super sweet i mean chianna. Chianas super sweet. They actualysaw  the light when it landed sorta they saw a flash through the storm but not in the direction we came. Lup’s been trying to redo her calculations on some napkins she thinks the blizzard had something to do with it but shes still  really smashed I dont think now a good time for math Lup 

Lucretia darling are you gonna nag me or are you gonna oh my god I dont know how to spell half those words Lup Im a fucking drunk journalist dont pull the fucking jargon out on me

Barry please tell me what Lups saying in words drunk  journalist understands

A drunk? Lucretia? Whats going on?

Lup: Baaaaaarrry holy shit did you remember to to do the thing for the storm

BB: Lup? Lup you’re- Lucretia give your stone to Lup I can hardly understand her

LT: hiiiiiiiiiiiii barold, hiiiiiiiii, we fucked uuuuuup

BB: oh wow youre super smashed

LT we fucked up Barry! we didnt-interference! the storm created interference and we fucked up the direction and

BB Lup that doesn’t make anysense? our equipment relies mostly on magical energy unless the storm has arcane origins

LT: oh hey, MORRISON DOES THE STORM HAVE ARCANE ORIGINS?

Morison: MS: (shes one of the dancing ladies) I dunno where arcane is but the storms local. amma constein cursed the whole country side bout 20 years ago after liddy halloway dumped her

SEE BARRY

BB: okay yeah that would definitely throw off our readings but its not like we could have known that beforehand. I mean we know now, so I suppose its a good thing you guys went down there even if you also got fucking wasted, for some reason

?: whose fucking wasted (oh its taako

TT: heeeey chucklefucks whats this about you getting crunk on your uuuuh super important potentially, world saving info gathering mission?

MB taako taaaaaakoooooooo booze is super cool down here? I had a bunch

TT: eh yup I could guess

MB: but not like a super bunch? A little bunch. Its suuuuper strong its great

TT hahaha oh. oh you are so lucky cap’nports asleep. What about you, baby lu? tell me-tell me you, at least are treating this mission with the uh, gravity and maturity it fucking-fucking nesessitates fuck you taako im 58

TT whelp haha BB please just give m emy stone back  

im 5 fucking 8!!! Im not a baby godamnit. Im a grown ass women ill get as crunk as I fuckin wanna on this sweet ass booze and you cant have any taako you bitch hahahahha oh my god lucy someone please tell me shes still writing this down I nee

taakos a jackass im a grown fucking ass women an he wasnt even really a hundred when he joined cause hes a LIAR and A JERK comparatively in terms of relativ ageing im more an adult then him but he still calls me baby lu he could call me lucy or creesh like Lup calls me that i love her she? so nice Lup brought me another drink and we danced more but not well cause everthings floaty and I lay down so my head wouldnt float to high the ceilings still really low Lup lay down with e and magnus came in he was screaming cause he went out in the snow he was trying to do the dip thing were you go in a hot spring right after but theres no spring only cold magnus. everythigs only cold magnus why do you do this to yourself?magnus. chiana is making him sit by the stove in the kitchen and they wont give us any more drinks i told them i was 58 and also an alien but that didnt convince them which is probably fair. they dont know. taako knows he has no excuse

chianna gave us a room and its really dark its in the basement it super warm I think there actually is a hot spring but like underneath sorry mags that probablywhat you were thinking but still. super dumb. god Im gonna be so bad in the morning. the storms clearing up a little so well probably go then I hope captains not mad Im not sure he knows but we proly found the light so he cant be too mad. I  need sleep. I need to sleep. good night journal Ill miss you love Lucretia

Cycle 36, day 7

Firstly, I am never drinking again. Ever. Secondly, as soon as I get back to the ship, I am burning these pages. Posterity is not worth this level of embarrassment. 

Cycle 36, day 8

     Lup, Magnus and I had some trouble getting back. Though we weren’t nearly as intoxicated as the previous night, we weren’t precisely sober either. Between Magnus stopping to puke every five minutes, Lup’s persisting lack of balance, my truly excruciating headache, and all the motherfucking, goddamned snow, we nearly got lost on the mile-long hike back to the ship. The others had a field day teasing us, and I can’t even be mad at them for it. Looking over my own notes is literally, viscerally painful. To reiterate: I am never. Drinking. Again.

     I am not going to destroy those pages, however. It’s the only written account I have of what Chiana and the others told us about the Light, and it would be irresponsible to get rid of them before we’ve properly found it. Besides, Lup and Taako both practically begged me to keep it in. I don’t understand why Lup want’s this reminder of our idiocy to remain in tact, but damn she is hard to argue with. She’s also tried to insist that “baby-Lu” is a compliment, but won’t explain how so. I take back all the nice things drunk me said about her. 

     Maybe later I’ll go back and just stick a summary were those pages are, but for the mean time they’ll have to stay.

      I spent most of yesterday just resting, once we got back. I don’t think I honestly realized how tired I was until then. It’s only been 8 days since the last apocalypse, most of which we spent searching, frantic and blind in a literally cursed blizzard. Much as I hate to say it, I may need to take Taako’s advice and stop chronicling in real time. Just for a bit. I’ll pick it up again when we find the Light. 

     Time to go save another world.

End of excerpt. 

[editors note: Can I just formally request that, should we ever see Fisher and Junior again, I be permitted to feed these pages to them, in hopes that they might be erased permanently this time? Please?

- LC ]

[editors note: Madame Lucretia’s request is noted and denied.

- TT ] 

[sorikkung]

You did an intro to got7 a while ago could you maybe do one for A.C.E.??? They seem like a good group but I'm clueless atm so it would be v helpful!!!

lololol i did an intro to mark from got7 but not got7 as a whole, but yes ofc i will i love my talented bois and i love rambling about them heRE WE G O

an introduction to a.c.e, for dummies (jk ily choice is a great fandom pls join us)

also this is gonna get rlly long so im gonna put it under a cut

A.C.E is a 5-member boygroup under beat interactive!! which is a p small company atm so my boys dont exactly have the high quality living and practice areas and food that they deserve :(( THEYLL GET THERE THO IM SURE OF IT THEYRE LEGENDS

here’s their youtube channel with aaaaall sorts of goodies

i started stanning a.c.e predebut, bc they had a lot of content for a group that hadn’t debuted yet, and it was enough to snatch my attention real quick so you should check that shit out, they did a shitton of AMAZING covers and to get their name out there more, street buskings its a lot but i swear its worth your time theyre so talented!!

also they have matching tracksuits what more could you ask for tbh (as you can see from that vid, they’re literally so fucking extra)

a few of my favs are

this rlly long busking video w girl group songs and just a bit of everything tbh,

THIS amazing remix/cover of kard’s don’t recall by the rap line + this one cute girl,

only THE most iconic playing w fire cover, band version, (I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT THAT VIDEO HONESTLY I COULD MAKE A POST ON THAT COVER ALONE ISTG) 

their flashlight cover that is enough to make a grown man cry omfuckigngOD it makes me feel things hjskskkh

that ONE TAKE dance cover they did of 3 of taeyangs songs, all focusing on a different member of the dance line

im gonna stop here before i link every damn cover they made

okay so now that thats covered (bad-um-tss) time for…DEBUT

THIs beauty right here is their debut song cactus, which has this really deep meaning to it. bc they came from a small company so they have to work extra hard to even be able to debut let alone be successful and they’re like a cactus bc cacti grow in the desert where there’s very little water but they still manage to stand strong even through the hardest of weather an environment conditions and eventually sprout beautiful flowers,, buuuuuut its also a meme for obvious reasons.

tbh debut era choice culture was just listening to cactus on repeat for days bc it was their only song at the time skjslaas not much has changed tbh LMAO but yes theyre a very edm loving group so their DANCE SKILLS ARE ON POINT SERIOUSLY IVE SEEN FEW GROUPS AS AMAZING AT DANCING AS ACE WOWOW

oh yeah did i mention that their fandom name is choice and that choice are literally the softest fandom my multifandom ass has e v e r been in?? theres literally no cringy or toxic side of the fandom its just so soft and welcoming and pure and everyone is so nice and sweet and friendly and just??? wow i love choice a lot hjkskjsshkhk choice are also SUPER talented too stan talent stan choice

speaking of cringe ace is that group that just like skipped the entire “rlly cringy boygroup debut phase” completely like no weird debut haircuts or outfits or weird lyrics about girls, well actually thats all kinda objective but like they made those outfits work ok and im a cactus isnt that weird of a lyric if you know the deep meaning behind it

aS yOu CaN sEe, cactus era was the era of the tHIGHS and the hot pants. it was literally so iconic it blew up and with great reason too, have you seen those thighs?? AND THEY KNOW IT TOO they even mentioned they chose the hot pants as their style concept and took better care of their legs than their faces. true kings. heres a video of a.c.e talking about the whole hot pants thing and just their legs in general its some quality shit. and heres a video where they decide to show off just how great their thighs are bc they like to kill choices like that, this video is important and iconic bc its where the wowson ship began and also when they declared who the king of thighs were amongst the kings of thighs. definitely a necessary watch for new choice imo. donghun lowkey grinds on the floor at 4:04, you’ve been warned. honestly that video just gets progressively gayer lmao i love it

also for us international choice they made an ENGLISH cover of cactus CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I LOVE THEM SM they didnt have to but they did and oml stan a group who stans you back this hard their english aint that great but theyre trying and i appreciate it so much theyre so amazing look

five months later they dropped their second single, callin’, and b o y was this a stressful comeback, beat had us FOOLEd,, i genuinely thought it was gonna be a flowerboy soft concept yknow with like some sweet lowkey ballad or soft pop song, but nOOooOOOooo, MORE HARDSTYLE EDM not that im complaining callin is a bop but i was TRICKED

LOOK AT THIS SHIT ITS ALL AESTHETIC AND THE CLIP OF THE SONG WAS ALL SOFT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING SMTH SOFT im sorry im still salty that beat tricked me but ITS FINE bc callin is a HELLA BOP like i honestly didnt expect them to top cactus so quickly bc like cactus was hella but they DID and its amazing and heres the link be blessed (warning, these gifs above make it look like a soft vid but there are LOTS of flashing colours and lights and its really intense on the eyes if youre not comfortable with that dont watch, just listen)

they also supplied multiple dance pracs you can find on their channel for callin bc ace feeds us well, although callin had a reaaaally short promotion period bc right after they got thrown onto survival shows for more publicity, but hey, its working!! choice is growing bigger every day and im so proud

donghun, wow and jason all went on yg’s show mixnine, and jun and chan went on the idol rebooting show, the unit. both teams are doing EXTREMELY well on their respective shows!! but ill talk more about that in their individual member profiles bc they havent been put on the same team for anything yet rip

edit: mixnine finished and donghun and jason made the cut for the final group, sehyoon didn’t :(( so dongson will be promoting with the mixnine group for a lil bit!! also chan made it to the unit debut group but jun didnt. im hoping for a sehyjun subunit pls

that was long af but now im gonna dive into the members individually!! so its probs gonna get twice as long sorrynotsorry i warned you

Jun (Park Junhee)

jun is the so-called fiery leader of ace (also lead dancer and lead vocal) but is honestly just a giant dork and a sweetheart. hes the type of guy who you scream at for being dumb and call him an idiot but thats your weird way of expressing your undying love for him?? ask literally any jun stan, they’ll say they hate him. hate him for being so PERFECT like a fucking DISNEY PRINCE he’s the designated prince of the group you know theres always that one member and hes just so LOVEABLE and stupid and skjdakhkjs he fuckign dropped his cake on his birthday when do your faves ever. dad of the group, probably lost the maknaes in the shopping mall about 3 times already. talks a lot, hates aegyo, his members might be planning on sacrificing him to satan? he does on idol class with chan every…i think its wednesday and fans vote who gets punishments n stuff and jun loses every damn time i think hes losing his faith in choice lmao. #saveleaderjun

he’s kinda married to donghun, they’re the parents of ace but donghun might try murder him in his sleep idk man, but now hes on the unit with chan and theyre all cute and you can literally ship everyone with everyone in this group

he has HELLA charisma on stage tho oh my gOd also he has one of the most unique singing voices ive ever heard so its really easy to single out, his face also is the first i learned to tell apart?? he has rlly high cheekbones and a wide but thin smile.

this is actually an ot5 video not just jun but jun’s reaction was by far the most iconic so i have to put it in his section, get you a fave who can FLY lmaooo

it would be CRIMINAL if i didnt solo out jun’s ringa linga cover, thE MOST ICONIC JUN COVER EVER HJFKDSJKFDSJK if i ever stop talking about this assume im dead bc IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT jun in a leather jacket looking all rude and staring at the camera like that im WEAK, SO WEAK, AAAAAAAAHHHH

[ahem] MOVING ON

Donghun (Lee Donghun)

donghun, sometimes romanised as donghoon and often referred to by choice as hun or hoon, is the oldest member of the group and another total sweetheart, honestly ace is just a group of sweethearts, he cares for his members so damn much and is super soft?? but ALSO A s Av Age he’s on mixnine with sehyoon and jason and he SHOT DOWN YG, once again I C O N I C, yg was at a loss for words, heres more receipts of him being savage, i love my sassy boyfriend. BUT HES ALSO A SWEET NOODLE HJKSHJKS oH and did you know that before he joined a.c.e he had no experience in dancing whatsoever and in a year and a half, he caught up with the other four members that have been dancing since they were kids?? I STAN TALENT YALL you’d literally never be able to guess that bc all of them are like on an equal dance level its insane

also he used to have braces during cactus era and it was the softest shit

[cOUGHS] so like did someone say disrespect,,, bc he can do that too,,,,, aAAAAAAAH the duality of this man istg

he’s the main vocalist and has vO C AL S OF AN A N GEL, he has so much soul and emotion in his voice, and has adlibs for days oh my god, he also has the MOST BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO i’ve ever heard, fight me, actually come at me. his voice works REALLY well with chan so they pair him up with him for quite a handful of covers like the all of me one i linked (one of my favs omfg it makes me emo) cause like, his soulful voice plus chan’s higher, sweet voice just sounds so great together i love our main vocals wow.

sPEAKING OF WOW,

Wow (Kim Sehyoon)

his stage name is wow, but its hard to take seriously so the fandom just calls him sehyoon lmfao. it used to be seyoon but when he went on mixnine, he revealed sehyoon was the official romanization so here we are lmao. even if your bias isn’t sehyoon…it’s sehyoon. he’s just that guy ya feel me?? anyways sehyoon is a relatively quiet and reserved guy, but his members really pull out the dork in him, i love it so much?? he doesn’t talk much but when he does all of a.c.e directs their full attention to him to listen, its really sweet, hes pretty awkward with people but you can tell he just feels so safe and comfortable with ace it honestly warms my heart. he’s the main rapper and main dancer, but!! our multitalented man is also a vocalist. yes, you heard, me, the main rapper can sing, and really well at that. (if you scroll up back to the flashlight and dont recall covers, you can see more of his voice.)

gets the least lines, but not by much. although hearing his singing voice in their actual songs has happened like with 2 lines?? so idk man im just waiting for their ballad song that theyre apparently doing for their third song, god im so ready. i love his voice a lot, damn.

he’s also like reeeeeeeeeally gay for jason…the entire fandom ships it and they even ship it themselves. wowson, the otp of ace, they honestly just cant keep their hands off eachother??? i know a friend who struggled to tell apart jun and jason so she just looked at who sehyoon was standing next to and instantly knew it was jason. THEYRE SO CLINGY. i love my squishy boyfriends. 

OHHH BOY…i really could’ve used an even more disrespectful gif than this but that would ruin the surprise of watching it in the actual video!! as you can see, sehyoon is the K I N G of disrespect on stage, that shy lil fluffle bean you see offstage?? GONE. DISAPPEARED. VANISHED. this is why his stage name is wow, sehyoon disappears and you just go wow. choice has dubbed him king of bodyrolls with great reason, he makes every concept into a sexy concept, he just has that intimidatingly sexy aura to him, its incredible. 

now…are you ready….i bet youre not…who am i kidding NOBODY was ready for this shit. on mixnine, sehyoon was picked as leader for one of their stages (i think he was leader for ringa linga too??) and got to choreograph the routine. if you think its already rude 10 seconds in, its all over for you bitches when the lighting goes yellow. i feel the need to repeat, our boy CHOREOGRAPHED THIS. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA. EVERY. SINGLE. PART. this is the same kid who everyone on the show knew as the shy, quiet, handsome boy. but then. 

but then he did this.

Jason (Kim Byeongkwan)

jason is his stage name that he chose for himself but his real name is byeongkwan, its another case of an idol having a stage name and nobody calling them by it?? i mean most new choice call him jason and i personally switch between the two but most choice seem to call him byeongkwan or bk if theyre extra lazy lmao. memers call him byonk sometimes.

jason is the weird child of the group and we all love him…he’s the second lil ball of sunshine and part ½ of the maknae line. he’s often found clinging to sehyoon or literally any of the members bc he’s an affectionate son who loves cuddles okay?? p r o t e c t   h i m.

he’s also the lead everything. yeah thats really not fair but jason is op ok?? singing, rapping, dancing, visual, like sehyoon he’s the full package, i can hardly call them the rap line they’re just the op line t b h. triple threats.

on their official twt jason likes to confirm wowson a lot, its p great lololol he’s the biggest wowson shipper of all time. want more wowson? i gotchu, here’s one of my absolute fav moments. (ft. junchan/chun)

he has some HELLA CHARISMA on stage like boy can u pls chill. they also love doing his eye makeup with that red makeup and it looks rlly good bc bk has such pretty eagle eyes and its his Look™ and that along with his onstage persona is a DEADLY COMBINATION HDSJKSKSLKJS 

i’m just gonna keep this short; even if your bias isnt byeongkwan, your bias is byeongkwan. he has that affect on everybody. number one bias wrecker out of the fandom t b h apart from sehyoon (he cant be my bias wrecker if he is my bias so im safe :^J)

Chan (Kang Yuchan)

INTRODUCING OUR CHANSHINE, MAIN VOCAL OF ACE, CUTIE MAKNAE CHAN!!!! he always introduces himself as a.c.e’s main vocal cutie maknae chan, its his iconic line and it suits him so well like LOOK AT HIM ISNT HE JUST A FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE WHAT A PURE CHILD I MUST PROTECC he’s literally the happy virus y’all AND ACE KNOWS IT TOO heres this one time where donghun even said that looking at chan cheers him up. certified sunshines only, everyone. also watch that whole video its long but its worth your time.

anyways our boy is a main vocal and as mentioned in donghun’s part they harmonize!!! so!! well!! i mean tbh all of ace can harmonize with eachother its the most beautfiul thing but these two are main vocal for a reason okay. if you didn’t already watch it in donghun’s part listen to THIS and have your ears be blessed i cry everytime oh my god skdfhd ALSO THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET i want to cry i lvoe chans voice so much i love chan i love kang yuchan og hmylhdg sodf i was gonna say i swear im sehyoon biased but im not istg ace is bias wrecking me 24/7 its been the hardest group to pick a bias in ever im not kidding i cant even

also known as kang RUDE, chan was all innocent sunshine and daisies until out of the blue he decided to give the disrespect king sehyoon a run for his fucking money. NOBODY FUCKING SAW IT COMING WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS SO PURE AND THEN HE SUDDENLY STARTED FLASHING HIS ABS EVERYWHERE AND GRINDING ON THE FLOOR AND DOING THAT AND WE JUST CANT HANDLE IT i dont know a kang yuchan please save me oh my lord

okay this already has an ungodly amount of links and honestly i could go on, but this should be a good enough kickstart for you!!

stan talent stan a.c.e everyone. welcome to the choice family. its literally the softest and sweetest fandom out there. we welcome you with open arms and lots of cacti!!!

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 7: “Your Guess Is As Good As Mine” - Daisy

MADISON

IM SHOCKED AND AWED AT THE FACT THAT PETE IS GONE. it just shows that the dynamics on the other tribes are so strange and mysterious its so odd

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qSVSaCEI7BiTkgRv40PFwQRZX_tueMQ3/view?usp=drivesdk today i dont know the date

JENNET

another day.. another tribal.. another blindside. vl still hate me?

(a little later)

and when the power gets to my head? what do i do then?

JAKE

https://youtu.be/4W2fgDQVQm8

JESSICA

Bye Pete! I am sad you got voted out but there was quite literally nothing I could do as I was on another tribe.

JENNET

stream evermore! give captain a big hug for me also, miss him sm

SAM

https://youtu.be/uXFV0NN_xO0

JONES

https://youtu.be/jLaAFbr06LI

JENNET

geeking out, teehee https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1nzn0Ex19YyJA8V__6O8kVktvRjeIJWMswhVKxnt9I6M/edit?usp=sharing

ETHAN

Ok, so I am thinking about throwing this challenge. I trust Jennet 100%, and rn it is 2-2 if THEY sticks by me. If I throw here, tell Jennet to vote for me, then idol myself, it would be 2-1 next vote and I would be in the majority. If I did this I would be unable to tell Jennet about this, she is far too kind. If we win here, then lose next tribal, I am screwed. I think throwing here might just be the best play, but I am terrified about some kind of idol nullifier or some advantage, since Jones and Nicole bought those boxes. Nicole got a disadvantage in this challenge, which helps me throw better if I want to.

JENNET

ethan just told me he found an idol.. how did i get so lucky heeeheeee

MIKEY

Honestly not much tea going on. Im working my ass off to form social connections on this new tribe though because I know im going to desperately need them. I've told Sammy and Jake about my half idol, so hopefully they trust me, and I went to Sam and told him about my Extra Idol Run so he thinks were together. My age may genuinely be benefitting me here because me and Sam seem to connect very easily. I dont mean it, but I always tell him how I feel were ignored because of our age.  Madisin is literally inactive in DMS tbh. I constantly message her with no reply back. If we were to go to tribal next round, I dont think id go home considering Sammy and Sam trust me a bunch, but honestly you never know bahaha

SAM

https://youtu.be/wv_yylitO-o

NICOLE

I believe I am going to be idoled out tonight, and that’s fine with me. I am sort of upset because I really wanted to be on jury like so so so so so so so so bad. But at the same time, I don’t feel like it’s anything I did? So it is okay. There’s literally nothing I can do if Ethan has an idol and I’m on the chopping block behind him.

SAMMY

woohoo I won go fish hoes...but found nothing with my extra idol search:/ Jake is a kind human and I’m still vibing with Mikey <333 other than that i think my connection with sam/Madison is not where I want it to be...i really have been slacking on my idol searches and everything but with these games when I’ve literally been to what? 1 tribal? There’s just no gameplay but I have to make myself appear as beneficial to members so I tried in the reward and I got our tribe 2 points!! So I’m not high threat level but I’m proving myself as worthy.

JESSICA

I don't really have anything to write about as we won immunity! Hooray. I have been just hanging out and vibing, waiting for merge.

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-Wx4upIDF1E8FRZ5KfJySwATB9CYPNYI

JESSICA

Also I DO have thoughts about the game and I AM doing things! But those "things" are mainly talking to people so they like me. There isn't really much to write about for that!

MADISON

Its kinda sad i feel like i have more reads (good or bad) on the other tribes as opposed to my own. Sammy is attending tribal tonight which means i will for sure get the tea on whatever goes down, regardless if he tells the whole tribe or just me. I feel like the biggest threats in the game are Shane and Ethan, and if i make the merge with them, i have to gain one of them as an ally, maybe pin them against one another ASSUMING Ethan survives the night (will be very sad if not) I feel like Jennet will leave tonight just because i dont think they submitted for the challenge or didnt complete it but idk it might Ethan's time but we will see what happens at 9 so stay tuned.

DAISY

https://youtu.be/g6yYACAcD6k

JAKE

https://youtu.be/qpwmq6NXkWs The rumors are trumors, I filmed a confessional 🤩

ETHAN

AHH TRIBAL IS SCARY AND IT SUCKS SEND MESSAGE

LOVELIS

Feel like I’ve resurrected from the dead this week LMAO it’s been a crazy couple days but I’m so glad we won immunity & have a chance to breathe. I wish we did more like fun stuff as a tribe like a game night or somethin but I guess it’s because we’re more into the game side of this now.. either way I’m glad I still have Shane in my corner on this tribe but I just hope we don’t go to tribal cause I could easily see someone like Daisy try to get Lindsay into her pair with Jessica to assume some role of power, despite the four of us having an alliance with Ethan from the original tribe regardless. It’s so hard to rly know what people are thinking now as we head into final thirteen but I’m just gonna have to judge what i see at face value & hope my deductions are accurate. They have been so far, so so far so good!

[survivormykonos]

Episode #1: “everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️” ~Robbie

First impressions these people are basic players who wont have very big personalities, and not willing to put a lot of effort into this game. Hopefully thats not the case and its just late so no one is really wide awake :) Because I came to play and I hope thats what everyone else came here to do as well 

Okay so my plan basically worked, winning the first reward competition by placing a good score has opened up one of many avenues to come. Ryan, and Zeezo want to work with me (bad choice for them since I will be winning this aka taking them out eventually but oh well)

Him hitting it off really well with this tribe they are all so friendly and welcoming, Ain is my main homegirl at the moment she is the best and jared is a nice friendly face so it should be interesting to see what the coming days are like.

so not 30 minutes in and meowth comes out with the question "what if someones racist" which to me carried an air of accusation it was public and clearly meant for all to see it just gives me a bit of an icky feeling towards meowth

I'm glad that others are getting higher scores than me because i definitely don't want to be presenting as a threat in challenges particularity not the first day so i just am hoping that ill land middle of the pack challenge wise

so this immunity is fun i love puzzles like these even though they are hard tbh im not completly happy about our chances but i hope we can push through and win or the other tribes internet fucks up, either or really

so right now the vote seems to be between Robbie and Mewoth (Josh) and tbh i dont care which goes because they havent spoken to me but whatever, in any case id rather keep someone who actually contributed to the challenge and if he doesn't step it up then Josh will be gone next

Going into tribal council i am very nervous, you never know where the vote is until the votes are read and if im on the wrong side of the vote i might not be around much longer

I dont know whats gonna go down here but i hope i do well

reunited with lukas my love

she sells seashells at the seashore

why is the first vote already so confusing and wild.... just decide on a person

WHATS UPPPP!!! Can’t say much because I’m busy but I’m stoked!!! Only two other girls on my team tho :/ but it’s ok! I have Stephen who I know but I’ll get into all that later and I have lukas and Sammy on the other tribe who I LOVE TO DEATH but obviously can’t tell anyone that. Ain is on the other side who I hate but I just hope she gets voted out and we never have to interact :’)

Honestly, living my best life and enjoying the brief small talk with my tribe mates. So far getting a good vibe from everyone but lets be real, shit (I can curse right... I lowkey have always wanted to say that) is definitely going to go down as soon as something goes wrong. But like *shrug*. 

OK LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT TIME THAT I DIDNT WANT TO GRAB THE LIGHT AND SHINE IT ON ME AND WE WIN FIRST IMMUNITY AND I GET SENT TO PARADISE ISLAND!!!!!!!!! Yeah, because like, screw the idea of trying to lay a tad low for the first vote. But hey, I guess when you are working with Zeezo and she tells you the immunity boxes must be evens because of the clue she got, and then you get sent to PI, it can't be all that bad. I'm so shook I don't even know if I'm making sentences rn hahaha. I hate saying this, but like I am so happy with where I am rn, but I def know there is so much more work to put in before my tribe ends up going to tribal. AND SPEAKING OF TRIBES, WHET ON EARTH? Two abstains in the reward and then a tie and only two points in the immunity challenge for Yalos? Did they also think they were cast in ANTM because like same. We've all been there, amiright? Can they continue to do this so I can just breeze my way to merge and start playing this game already??? Please and thank you. 

When I wake up and realize I have so much work to do for school but at least I don't have to worry about going to tribal tonight! I aint mad! At least Im not gonna be the Francesca of this season soooooooo..... 

So... ya boy just beat Jared in a word search comp... and beat him... and went to Super Paradise Island... and idk which greek god is on my side, but one them has ya boy's back because he just the sapphire gem... Like no big deal... I didn't expect to be the first voted out and then just somehow came across getting one of the first big advantages of the game... WE ARE ALL FINE GUYS!!!

I have Oakley, who voted me out on Athena: Himalayas and Olivia, who I voted out on Atomic: Isle of Skye on my tribe. And my immediate thought is I want to work with them. Olivia more than Oakley, I don’t have any beef with him from another season but he is sneaky. However my strategy especially at this point in the game is just make lersonal connections and pretend to have the strategic knowledge of a goldfish. Here’s hoping it works.

So far I’ve talked to most people but some are easier to connect to than others, Joanna seems the most distant, she responds but it doesn’t feel friendly. But we won, so we’re all good this round. I really hope Ain goes home, shes manipulative, vindictive and isn’t afraid to use underhanded tactics.

WOAH! So after being recommended to play by a friend, I found out he ALSO recommended Miles to play, although in the other tribe.. I have someone I know here although I kinda got them eliminated in a Twitter Survivor... Hmmm... So far in Kalafati tribe, Im liking Miles and Joanna, Haven't had much contact with the others but they seem really cool. Im so excited to play, Especially with winning a lucky hidden immunity Idol

I’m still waving the flag

I’m still waving the flag I hate that challenge. I got a respectable score but if i did all that just to have the Yalos player stop after a low score, I'll be sad

My first impressions of the tribe is pretty positive! No immediate negative figures jump out at me. I'm still testing the waters, trying to figure out if any people are potentials for alliance members. Some people like Olivia, Jacob, Miles, Stephen and Thomas have reached out to me which makes them seem like good potentials for friends. However, I want to see how the reward challenge goes before I can evaluate my teammates further. 

It's amazing that we won the reward challenge and I'm so happy that I performed as well as I did. However, I am worried about the immunity challenge. I'm happy with the flash game, but the controls are really wacky and I already know it will take forever to get used to.

I'm honestly a little worried seeing that I didn't preform very well in the immunity challenge. Thankfully, we still managed to pull off a win and we didn't have to worry about tribal. Speaking of tribal, I don't think there is anyway Robbie is going to stay, seeing that he abstained in the reward and striked in the immunity. Also, I feel like I want to work with Olivia, but Miles also seems like a good person to work with, but I haven't approached either of them yet. Still weighing my options and figuring out the best way to proceed. 

Honestly it doesn’t seem like anyone is playing hard yet which is annoying me. Because I want to play hard, but if no one else is people can get sketched out by highly strategic, social players

Honestly if I finess this vote and stay in the game after forfeiting two comps it will be hilarious. But everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️ Hope no one gets blind sided

So the first night went..... alright. My tribe wasn’t as energetic or as talkitive as I had expected. It appears as though I am on a tribe with all gay men, which sounds nice in theory, but I’m bracing for the moment these twinks start wildin. Aside from the gays, I know Ain from a past org and am starting to warm back up to her. We will probs stick together for awhile. As of now, that’s all. 

Robbie, queen of being inactive and making cases to stay last minute, came to me with the idea of booting Meowth instead. I said hell yeah! All for that shit! Not that I don’t like Meowth, it’s just I would love to do something unexpected for the first tribal. However, Sammy and Michael seem to be so against it for some reason. Lord knows why. I’m going to aim to be in the majority, but I may just cast my vote for Meowth for the hell of it. 

Ok I don’t quite remember what my last confessional was but I know for a fact I fucked up the names. Robbie is the one on the line, Sammy is just another gay. I swap their names all of the time. 

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

Alright so... Not a whole lot is going on, it's just the start of the game, we're just doing the first reward challenge. This tribe is just a bit too large for my taste but whatever, I'll manage. Getting to know all these people is interesting, which is funny because the absolute LAST word I would use to describe myself is "interesting"

I'm not entirely sure what use one would have for a fire making kit in an online survivor. Am I meant to set my laptop on fire? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING????????? lmao...

There's a few people that I'm getting great vibes from. Miles would probably be the biggest one rn. I would love nothing more than to get some sort of alliance going sooner rather than later JUST IN CASE but like I don't want to be the one to actively go out and do it because if someone leaks RIP ME. Idk what I'm doing just yet. We'll figure this out.

We won the first immunity and don't have to vote anyone out, that's awesome. I can't help but feel just a little concerned though, everyone's almost a little TOO peaceful on this tribe. I'm not saying I'd want to LOSE a comp and have to face tribal but the reads I'm getting from everyone is giving me a sense of unease. I do enjoy winning though and wouldn't mind winning out. I'm just saying, I feel very uneasy with the vibes I'm receiving. Good lord I just repeated myself there. Oh well.

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

I think I'm pretty safe after this immunity challenge. I was one of 2 people to win the head to head for my tribe and therefore I have a chance to go to Paradise Island! I'm trying my best NOT to go though because I think that would put a target on my back very early on.

Right now my closest ally is Matt and I feel that we have a strong bond. We're each other's #1's and talking back and forth over who should go tonight. I'm very torn for who I'm voting for at tribal tonight, it's either Meowth (Josh) or Robbie. I've heard that Robbie may have gotten the majority but I don't feel 100% on wanting him still in the game. Yes, Meowth is weak in challenges but he's another easy vote moving forward in the future.

So, what's been going for me so far?  Well, reward challenge I busted my ass and showed what I can do, which was great!  WE lost, which sucks, and 2 people didn't submit.  Those 2 were Miles and Robbie.  This made me upset, mostly because Miles I know from my Minecraft UHC days, so we made an instant alliance from that.  Robbie I didn't care about.  Then came immunity, where once again, Robbie was unable to compete, and I still stand by that I was robbed in my challenge because of a shit quality image, but this is what I'm used to from online games like this, so I'll move on (eventually).  We got rekt in immunity, and the obvious choice was looking like Robbie for not submitting twice.  So, being the intelligent player I am, I basically pitched to Robbie that he was going home unless he made a better pitch about someone else.  He aimed at Michael, someone who I somewhat wanted to work with at the time (in hind sight, I wouldn't have cared much).  I proposed, instead, we vote for meowth (Joshua) because he just rubbed me the wrong way, under-performed, and refused to talk game strategy with me at all.  I pulled in Lukas and Jared, as well as had Ain in my pocket, and with the acquiring of Sammy by both me and Robbie, the vote should be set in our favor.  I'm still trying to convince Miles to roll with us so he's not on the losing end of the vote, but I think its 50/50 whether he will or won't.  Honestly, I feel pretty safe with this vote, being that I was a top performer and have shown how active I strive to be in these games.  I'm not super worried about this vote and hope that Robbie sticks around.  Hopefully, he becomes a powerful player and a big help in challenges.  If he's not, he'll go next for sure.  Let's hope I don't live to regret these words!

I think I’m in a pretty safe spot right now, but we def have people who think they are running the show around here...SIT DOWN or else you’ll become a target early😉 but I like everyone just don’t know who we should keep...someone who hasn’t been active or someone who tries but does not communicate. Eh either way I’m not on the chopping block sooooo. Okay wow that sounds rude but um i like everyone:) yikes

Honestly, this is a fung ame and a fun set of people. Just hope my time here isn't too short.

So far I feel pretty good about my tribe even though there a couple people I forgot to ever talk to oops. We seem to be good at challenges and get along well. I've connected most with Ryan so far and told him my idol clue to gain his trust. He's told me he trusts me the most out of anyone so that's good. After we talked we decided to pull in a 3rd and settled with Thomas since he got the best score in the reward challenge. After consulting with Ryan I decided to share my clue with Thomas too and the 3 of us officially performed an alliance. I think with this alliance my goal is to think more long term. Thomas is probabaly going to on Tinder performing well at challenges and be a shield for me. He also doesn't seem to talk to a lot of other people. Meanwhile Ryan seems like the type of person who might play too hard so he could be another shield. Plus we get along really well so far so that's good :') We might pull in a 4th for the alliance later since Thomas is kind of inactive and Ryan suggested Stephen so I'm interested to see how that will pan out. In other news Ryan got sent to paradise island and got the sapphire gem thing so that's great :') So if one of us finds the idol we should have great power in the game so I'm looking forward to the rest of the game 

Nothing is going really because we have been on a winning streak and have been crushing it. I knew Stephen from a previous game and we agreed to work together. He is not being extremely subtle about it but I think he wants to work with Olivia because he has mentioned her a lot and how he likes her. I don't mind that because I do like her but I am worried about the two of them being closer to each other than to me because I know they know each other. I am really liking Ryan as well and would like to work with him. I am worried I am not being as social as I should be because I do notice that I don't talk to as many people as I would like. Miles I have talked to a bit but haven't built much of a relationship with him and everyone else I have said hi to and talked to a bit but I haven't really built anything or know anything about them. I just hope we can win long enough for me to build those relationships because I am worried that I am one of the two people to lose my round in the immunity challenge.

[survivorforestofhorrors]

Episode 6: a good stabbing tool - Jessie

Josh leaving was total shit tbh. He was one of the people I trusted in this game. I had a feeling he would be screwed over though just realizing he was in minority. Tim is probably running things over there like he always does, and I don’t know why people never want to take him out. Like he really needs to go. He’s just going to find another idol and play it the next time someone targets him. 🤦🏼‍♂️

Okay so its round 6 and NOT round 4. I have not done a whole hell of a lot this game tbh, but lets recap. So where i am is i fell asleep round 1 and failed to vote in the 21 person mess,  but i would of genuinley voted billy so its okay. Then my swap tribe i got into a small mess and thought i was at risk but got a 3 with dan and Liv and then a 4 with daulton, grace and Liv

so basically liv is my ride or die in this game and he is a FANTASTIC ally, i just have to get back to him. Weary of zach but knowing damn well he is a fallback ally if needed because of TS and my F2 with him. I know basically everyone in this game so i have a major advantage with connections and dont need to start learning about people as some people already have a great idea of me. Anyways the Chips vote i was at a friends house so i just made sure i was good and dipped but that vote was really simple.  Swapping after that round i got dead last pick....which is very concerning for my life in this game, but i got savannah and gavin, two allies who i am very happy to have here, gavin is another close ally who i worked well with in the past so im picking that up, and i hosted and enjoyed Savannah so im using that line to help me here to gain at least a 3-3, maybe a 4-2. I know my path aint gonna be easy here but i just gotta start talkin and get myself any advantage i can

like knowing RTP and i are both knife holders now. got a lot of work ahead of me but now this is my focus. time to watch me shine

lmao at this rate with one person posting an hour we’re getting dead last

-

yo we did bad bad lmao. I kinda figured we were going to lose, but damn, that sucked haha. I am very tempted to search for the idol, but also, I don't really think I will need one? In my fantasy me, Daulton, and Livingston vote together seamlessly to stay in the game. Ideally, I would like Liam to go bc he turned out to be a little shady and was willing to put a second vote on me last round. I just think that he has the potential to do it again. The other thing in the back of my mind too is that Austin told me about his power to get rid of two votes.... which is spicy and definitely something I want to keep close to my chest. I feel like I could in theory use it as leverage against him, but if he senses danger, he could easily use it and him and Liam could vote for me this round. So that's a no go. I also kinda have a soft spot for Austin, so I don't want to do that to him ahah. I think that this round is going to be really telling as far as where allegiances actually lie. I almost feel less worried knowing that I have no way of saving myself (unless I can convince Austin to use his power to save me) this round. It's rather peaceful knowing that I don't have shit to save myself, so I can play a little more loyal and not get too cracked about idols and shit.

-

The plot motherfuckin thickens!!!! Austin has a HUGE power haha I think it's a little bit over powered but akfjalksj. He now has a power that cancels 3 votes of his choosing... This could get really spicy for me. Austin wants to target Livingston, which... is interesting. He told me that Livingston and Savanna know one another in real life, which is no bueno for me. I want to be Livingston's #1 not someone he knows in real life. BUT I just can't vote him out. He has been really good to me. So I could force a tie between Livingston and Austin if Austin uses his power and then just vote Austin out on the revote? Ugh I have no fucking idea.

I HATE that we lost. 😭 I genuinely love everyone on the Macneil Tribe, and now I have to vote one of them out. I have made a group that consists of a Macneil majority with Livingston, Dan, and myself, and the plan is to vote out Austin which does suck because I love him. But I do love Liam more, and if I can get my way in any decision that is made, it’s a good tribal. I’m just hoping no funny business is going to happen tonight lmao.

Woot woot. 

- wise words from someone i know

So I’m a little late hoping on the confessional train probably because I’ve been high key safe for a good chunk of this game . 

About probably ten minutes before I started writing the “Merps.” Alliance was former .

It’s Me, Maynor and Keaton.

I trust Maynor a lot and  I don’t plan on voting him out.

Gavin got thrown out of the tribe chat.

Rip him. 

He’s probably gonna be back after tribal unless we merge or switch tribes again. 

This games actually been pretty laid back but I won’t complain I enjoy it a lot .

I have a machete from my daily searches which is super cool.

Who doesn’t love a good stabbing tool that I could gut the killer open with ?

I’m currently trying to figure out what exactly the plan for tribal is .

I mean there’s only five of us on the tribe since Gavin got yeeted to wherever .

I wonder what path would grant me random safety o.o

I also have a flashlight so that’s cool to I guess .

Anyways I just wanted to get some sort of thought out there in case it is me that goes tonight .

Like it’s round six so if could I want to have a confessional.

If the killer does kill me tonight you bet I fought them .

Forever vibing and hopefully not dying in this game tonight ?

Xoxo 

Jessie 🪓

I feel like I’m unnecessarily nervous about the vote tonight ugh. I feel like things have fallen into place easier than they should.... austin is using his power, which makes me nervous about voting for him because then it’s super obvious that I’m the one who did him in. But also, I feel like I need to stay true to the people I’ve been with since basically the start (Livingston and Daulton) so I’m just really sad. I would really prefer Liam to go over Austin, but at the same time it’s just not gonna happen. I don’t want to risk losing people I have that strong of a bond with. I’m fairly certain if it’s a tie vote between Austin and Livingston, that Liam and Daulton will vote for Austin to go. It’s all so scary because this could be a shot at me, but if it is, it’s a good shot to take and I won’t even be mad about it. 

-

Well, they got me gals! It has been such a PLEASURE playing this game. I feel like as of late I’ve taken games sooooo seriously. This game reminded me of the old days when things were simple haha. The hosting was INCREDIBLE! Keegan, Rachael, and Abri are the most incredible, warm human beings I’ve ever encountered and I will so dearly miss their spirit. To the rest of my cast members, I just want to say a big thank you. I’m thanking you all for being so warm and receptive to me in this game and for making me believe in this stupid community again. This is now a Daulton, Livingston, Liam, and Austin stan account.

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #11 “Revenge? is a dish best served cold” -Ali

-all i have to say. all i have to say. is revenge? is a dish best served cold. that whole vote was a nightmare. but i've promised to be nicer in my confessionals/host chat so i'm gonna keep it nice. chips is completely a liar, like he just played into the bodhi plan for no reason and its so annoying! he thinks he is playing the middle with tact, but he is just playing it really like... wobbly. jess? never dissed. was honest with me, tried to keep me calm. I STAN JESS. i think she will probably win the season and i'm? here for it. i also love gavin and i feel so bad that he burned his idol for no reason. i feel like none of me/cindi/ruthie is making it to the end, so i hope to be able to vote for gavin or jess. collin is a sweetheart, definitely the best player on his side. i also love rachael now that is also a sweetheart. timmy i do not vibe with, am never hear for men calling women bitches. as men we can and should do better than gross crap like that. birch is lovely, they never seem to know whats up in this game JKFDAS but they are a sweetheart never the less!. anyway so i gave ruthie the idol? because i stick with my allies. and if people are calling us a trio, why not keep cindi as the big threat and ruthie as the disconnected 'easier vote', keeps me cushioned comfortably in the middle mhmm. it was definitely risky but also having two idols was making me feel literally SICK. so agenda moving forwards? work down from that. i also have a jury of men who are likely to dislike me so what can you do about THAT, i'm here to have fun and pull off some cracked shenanigans and i sure did just do that. would LOVE to continue voting off men next round, chips or timmy suits me fine idc which one. my agenda this season is to make sure one of gavin/jess/ruthie/cindi wins the season JNKFDAS screw the rest. they can all GO. but once again bodhi... this is what happens when you tussle with me. in the words of that one game of thrones character (i havent seen the show)... tell bodhi.. i want him to know it was me.

-two final thoughts: - trent has pointed out that this is the third vote out in a row where i said twenty-four hours before tribal 'i want it to be' and then said who left. that streak will DEFINITELY end tho JNKDAFS - i feel like idoling bodhi while unambitious, was good for my game. he has the capacity to come after me lategame, he was connected to people i wasnt, breaks up that voting block of 4 while keeping in collin/rachael who trust me more. im... at peace.

-https://youtu.be/Yy5THF05qjg (from the day after Bodhi left)

-hello okay so today has been... so illuminating? main points are that i do not trust jess, and do trust collin and rachael again? also chips is full of LIES. and as i took a 10min break from writing this i started second guessing myself again, maybe collin is lying. honestly everyone on this tribe is confusing. i've been defending this trio narrative all day but people maybe dont even care. also i feel bad for bodhi that is a king even tho he is so shady all the time as a player NJDFKLAS. cant wait to join him in jury.

-okay so i am once again frustrated. ruthie, gavin and cindi never dissed. rachael and collin are also all good, but the rest whewie. first up jess. jess is my friend and this is by no means a reflection of her as a person, but as a player oh my GOD she is so frustrating. she just has no like... conviction as a player? like jess what do you stand for in this game, what are you as a player. i said in my host chat but talking to her is like trying to staple jelly to a wall, as a player she just... is so. so hollow? idk i just wanna see her have conviction and to see her fight for something . chips is also frustrating as a player he just sits and has an agenda of 'splitting up groups', but all that happens is he gets picked up by a group to target another group, what has he... actually done? he is #2 on my angry list, and top spot is taken by... timmy. timmy i am talking to for the first time in a few days today and its incredibly frustrating. he is sending me this wall of excuses and i? do not want to hear it. i should not have to explain to a grown man that calling a woman a bitch, and he can say he 'snapped and crossed the line' and that it was out of character all he wants but i- do not want to hear it. timmy can be mad all he wants after he gets blindsided and say the entire tribe talks down to him, but then when he leaks cindi's ENTIRE PLAN, cindi isnt allowed to be mad at him? and cindi also kept it as GAME. this is what is so frustrating to me, i've had videos made about how annoying i am in games, i've had people say all sorts of gross personal stuff about me and so i dont wanna hear it. i've had people call my game the worst they have EVER see and i just sat there and took. i. do. not. want. to. hear. it. this game has reminded me of three things, how much i love ruthie (my undisputed closest ally at this point), how much i love olivia and lukas and how much i hate men.

WELL, WELL, WELL... another round of complete and utter RADIO SILENCE. with allegiances to almost everyone left in the game aside from chips, bodhi, and collin, this round was destined to be extremely hard to navigate. there was a lot of talk about breaking up the "trio" of ali, cindi, and ruthie. while i can recognize the danger of keeping a trio in, it is also an enormous target ahead of myself and my duo with jess. an alliance was formed between myself, jess, timmy, and rachael, and we essentially wanted to vote with timmy and rachael to avoid them feeling discluded from the vote and having no trust with us. despite the silence, ruthie's name began to rise above, which as much as i love ruthie, i wanted to be able to appease to timmy and rachael while still being in a "middle position" where i could play both sides that are starting to form. however, during the final fifteen minutes of the vote, CHAOS broke free. bodhi's name started get pushed by ruthie and ali, and as much as i loved that idea, the numbers were not there. so, i encouraged ruthie to play an idol on herself if she had one because otherwise she was leaving, so either way, i would not be at fault for her getting votes. however, bodhi began to try to push a back-up plan to get votes on me instead of him... and when ruthie played her idol, i couldn't risk it knowing how few votes it would take to control the outcome of the vote. so, i wasted my idol. HOWEVER, this seemed to work out well for me, because people seem to trust me a lot more and were very sympathetic towards me wasting it... so i am going to ride on that sympathy for the next few rounds.

So class, today we're going to talk about the difference between a villain and a bitch. I think the class is confused about the distinction. A villain plays the game for themselves. They do not take their alliances seriously or they use them to steam roll. I have been guilty of both of these within this game. I am a villain in this game. You can call me that and I will give you game-related sass back because that is what villains do. Call out my game. It has been chaotic and has a lot of flaws. It's ugly. It hurts people who thought they were close to me (almost everyone thought they were close to me at merge so someone's gettin hurt). A bitch is a personal insult. To call someone that implies that they have explicitly hurt you personally within this game. I would consider a bitch to be someone who, I don't know, attacks someone's personality because they didn't align with them in-game. I'm done with Timmy. He can continue pulling his "No one talks to me" card all he wants, it's a game move that I will never respect, especially when people did talk to you about the Keegan vote. And to be clear, people did talk to both Timmy and Rachael about the Keegan vote. They can claim no one talked to them but the idea was floated by them and they shut it down and Keegan found out about it shortly after. So someone leaked it to him. So when we're looking to get him out last minute I'm sorry that you are not on my list of who to call to vote him out. I've been a shit ally to both Rachael and Timmy and I legitimately was going to try to make that better. Now I think I'm just gonna keep voting Timmy till he's gone and if Rachael stays I'll switch to her. I probably won't actually do that, but I'm over it. I will not vote with Timmy, if I learn he's in on a plan I'm throwing my damn vote somewhere else. 

-SO... ALI SENT ME HIS IDOL and I used it and I didn't go home!  It sucks that I got so many votes and it looked like the one that blabbed was Chips which is disappointing but oh well. I can't believe at one time I trusted him more than Cindi and Ali.  I'm so glad I told her about the counting to get an advantage and not Chips because I really thought about it but Cindi was the last person I had PM'd and had kept  me in the loop so I told her.   Also we made another alliance with the three of us annnnd Gavin and Jess who were both down but as soon as I made it, neither one of them talked? Like...  I know everyone has a life but I expect people to be around when I make an alliance chat!! :k So... we will see what happens with that, the three of us may be screwed after all, lol. 

-I really hope that Cindi is going to stay... time will tell what will happen and who people can kind of trust. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcNPArwK8PM&feature=youtu.be

hello I am drinking at a wedding and hope I don’t get voted out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

This vote and this round are sad and ugly because it became personal. I still really don't know what to do but am sticking with the first person who talked to me today. Hoping that once either of the two is out of the game that this can turn back into being a game.

After the confrontation with Cindi last round, I knew this round was going to be tricky. In the challenge, we all had two secret books we had to figure out who's books belonged to who. I was able to somehow get everyones except for Ruthie and Cindi. Cindi lied about her books to someone else and they told me the lie (not knowing it was a lie) so the 4 points I missed were both of their books. After the vote, Cindi posted in the main chat that it had to be her or I who went home this round, which tore a lot of people up because they are friends with both of us and do not want to choose sides. I do not believe that Cindi posted that for people to choose sides, but more for her mental health. Sadly, to find that closure it does involve people choosing sides. So far, everyone besides Ali and Ruthie have told me in a way they are saving me, but this is survivor anything can happen. I am on my guard, but we will see when the vote comes down today. If I survive, this could become a large turning point for my game.

an exhausted gavin has made an appearance to his confessional... my main goal was to win immunity after misplaying my idol last round. can we talk about how embarrassing that is? luckily, i think i am positioned well enough where i am no one's first target, and if i am, not enough people would turn against me. i have been trying to play the middle, and this vote between cindi and timmy has definitely put that position into jeopardy. i just need to do my best to remain close to ali and ruthie, and then from there i can focus on taking out people like collin who is in a similar position as i am trying to play the middle. unfortunately, this vote is breaking my heart, but i don't want a trio to dominate the game as much as i love cindi. so, at this point, i am voting for her... but i am not opposed to her staying.

.

.

.

Click HERE to watch the Round 11 Cast Assessment