#old straight guys hmu

[deliciousmicroplastics]

i didnt respond yet oops but an ooooooooooooold friend asked me for resources on turn of the 19th-20th century trans history for a writing project and by god i am going to find him material

[blue-blues-world]

mk 1 2023 characters as starbies workers

A/N: sorry for not posting on this page after leaving it dead for years, a lot of shit has happened lol. my mom got cancer, i lost all my friends, covid happened, then i got cancer, i almost didn’t graduate high school, then i got a job as a barista at the siren and i’m in college full time so i barely have any free time, but MK 1 came out and i love so many of the characters, so i couldn’t resist projecting onto them. if i get any requests, i’ll make sure to do my best to complete them, and if you ever submitted one and i didn’t get to it pls hmu again so i can get that done.

also if you guys like this AU and want more headcanons based on it, lmk :)

Starbucks Vocab:

DM - District Manager

SM - Store Manager

ASM - Assistant Store Manager

Proxy - A manager from another location who acts as a substitute for a store’s SM when they’re absent

Shift Lead/Shift - Shift Supervisor

Partners - Starbucks Employees

Connections - Partner/Customer Interaction

Connection Score - A score on a scale of 1-100 determining your store’s rate of connection with customers

Hot Bar - Where espresso drinks, teas, and matchas are made

Cold bar - Where frappucinos, refreshers, iced teas, iced coffee, and cold brews are made

kung lao

- works at a cafe store in a popular shopping center with raiden (jr.)

- pretty good at customer connections, primarily with the older ladies lol, older men don’t rlly like him

- barista, tried and got promoted to shift lead but demoted himself after the first week, thought it was too much work lol

- godly on bar, loves cold bar

- mf stays arguing with rude customers

- always puts his music on the in-store speakers

- it’s all 2010s club music

- most unserious person in the planet

- liu kang wrote him up once and all he said was ‘aight shawty damn’

- literally gives no fucks

- barista trainer, at first he only chose to do it for the bonus pay, but realized he really likes teaching the newbies plus he’s really good at it so he’s stuck to it

- bro is always filming tik toks at work that should definitely get him fired but he’s too good of a worker to be let go

- i can imagine him making parody videos making fun of that joboi dude, like bruh wtf is a griddy frappucino

- he usually gets a grande cold brew with a splash of sweet cream and three pumps toffee nut, but loves a good peach green tea lemonade too

raiden (jr.)

- was also a barista, but offered to promote to shift lead after kung lao quit and got the job almost instantaneously

- gets along with everyone, almost none of the customers give him trouble, and honestly how could they?

- elders love him, children love him, older women love him, teenage girls love him, he’s very well loved

- pretty well-rounded and is great on all positions, but front and warming is his strength

- constantly meal violating because he’s always scheduled for mid-shift and he works at a high volume store that gets most of the rush in the afternoons, so he’s always stepping in to help even if he’s on break

- someone please make this man eat his lunch

- always makes sure the floor is prefect before passing it on to the next shift, best believe he’ll have ovens done, floors done, cards done, ice bins done, lobby checked, stations restocked, all the other shifts are resisting the urge to kiss him on the mouth after they transition with each other

- doesn’t bend the rules too much

- that being said, he refuses to throw out the food at the end of the night. he won't tell you to take anything, but will definitely turn a blind eye

- wiping down the counters for his partners on the floor when it’s really busy is his love language

- bro eats like an old man, he’s constantly marking out oatmeal for every break, he’s like 15% oatmeal now

- he drinks the brewed coffee??? with cream and two splendas if he’s feeling sweet?????? not even an iced espresso, straight up pike. mf is an old soul fr, kung lao can’t stand it

- only exception is when he sometimes gets a tall iced matcha with coconut milk

- he was raised by his grandfather (raiden sr.), who is also his namesake

- loves his grandpa so much, it’s actually so endearing

- definitely could become an ASM if he wanted to, but he prefers being a shift since he’s still figuring himself out

liu kang

- he’s the store manager lol

- was offered to promote but chose not to, too much responsibility and he saw how disconnected district managers are from their baristas, and prefers working with them more closely

- is fed up with kung lao’s shit but can’t bring himself to fire him

- someone ordered the griddy frappucino once when he was on register, nearly short circuited

- constantly working on his dissertation, how he’s even pursuing an education and being such a good SM at once is beyond anyone’s understanding

- when asked how, he just says he meditates, which is not the advice most people expect or really want if we’re being honest

- super patient with his coworkers, and usually lets the petty stuff go

- wearing something slightly out of dress code? as long as it’s not a health code violation he doesn’t give a shit. got an apron pin that isn’t starbucks-approved? as long as it doesn’t have any profanity he couldn’t care less

- always has his trademark calm demeanor, but the only people who have ever managed to make him crack are kung lao (duh), johnny cage (double duh), and shang tsung (triple quadruple duh)

- His main drink is a trenta iced passion tea with no water and three splendas, or a tall cold brew with two pumps of sugar free vanilla, a packet of stevias, and a splash of coconut milk, usually enjoys it with a spinach feta wrap

- very healthy very granola indeed

shang tsung:

- is that regular that only ever seems to come in to give the baristas a hard time

- places orders that make the sticker the length of a novel and it changes every time

- it only gets worse when liu kang is on bar

- “may i have a trenta iced coffee blended with extra water, extra ice, twelve pumps of caramel, twelve pumps of classic, extra soy milk, extra coconut milk, extra almond milk, vanilla sweet cold foam, chocolate cream cold foam, matcha cold foam, and two splenda packets”

- no amount of meditative breathing can stop liu kang from nearly popping a vein every time he comes in

- he never even drinks the shit he orders

- always sends it back even if he didn’t even take a single sip

- throws it in the trash on the way out the door and makes sure everyone sees him do it

- what even is his drink order??

- sometimes comes into the store in costume pretending to be someone else (it’s obviously him)

- the ultimate grinch but just for liu kang

- comes in on christmas every year and hands everyone envelopes with their names on them, everyone’s envelope has $50 in it while liu kang’s envelope only has a dollar

- just an overall menace

- apparently was liu kang’s biochemistry professor his sophomore year of college, the beef has been going on since then

- when will it ever end? how did it even start? no one knows

johnny cage:

- doesn’t work at starbies either, instead he’s an ex-actor and entertainment business mogul that stops by before his meetings

- always stopping in cause he gets bored

- even chats it up w/ the regulars every now and then, usually kenshi

- speaking of kenshi, they were best friends in high school and college and have kept in touch since

- it’s also worth mentioning they were both total losers in high school

- they also were in a band together in their college years

- at first, partners at this store thought he was kind of obnoxious, liu kang included, but he won them over when he almost got in an argument with shang tsung in the parking lot and punched him

- no one made themselves an official witness but everyone talked about it

- gets a venti iced americano with two pumps of hazelnut and cream

Ashrah:

- she’s so sweet y’all

- an ASM at Kitana’s location

- pretty straight edge

- gets along well with everyone on the team and often is in charge of coordinating holiday parties, store meetings, and activities

- is very passionate in the whole community outreach thing, and has won the award for it multiple times

- comes from a rough background, so she applied at starbucks specifically for their free college program with Arizona State

- basically corporate’s employee wet dream

- that doesn’t mean she’s totally okay with the way they handle things, and sometimes bickers with kitana over how the store should be run

- hates hates HATES the forced connections thing, she believes conversation and interest in others should be genuine, not a sales tactic

- usually gets a grande iced black tea with strawberry açaí base, or a hot mocha with oatmilk

kitana:

- works as a store manager for a drive-thru location near a high school, but serves as a proxy for liu kang’s store

- rules that place with an iron fist, most of the baristas are scared of her

- but that usually goes away when they realize she’s a massive dork

- she pulled into the drive thru in a naruto t-shirt and hello kitty pajama pants once on one of her off-days and the illusion was shattered for everyone

- plays k-pop over the speakers and insists it’s a starbucks playlist (it’s not)

- girl is always stressed and always tired, doesn’t know how liu kang is still sane

- loves unpacking the carson order, it’s a nice getaway from the pressure of drive times and connection scores, plus she gets first dibs on any cute cups

- speaking of, she’s a chronic cup hoarder, it doesn’t matter if the cup is ugly, she still wants it

- almost cried when raspberry was discontinued

- gets an iced quad espresso with two pumps of vanilla and a splash of soy in a venti cup

mileena:

- also an SM for a different drive-thru location next to a grocery store, her and kitana are almost like day and night

- tanya is her asm, but they’re dating so she’s in the process of transferring to another location

- tried keeping it under wraps but truthfully they’re fooling no one

- girl is really just there for the vibes

- she would be bordering on terrible manager if she didn’t let her partners have fun

- wanna put your music on the speakers? go ahead but if she thinks your music sucks she’ll make you do a trash run

- forgot to request a specific day off three weeks ahead? you’re good, she hasn’t even made the schedule for that week yet lol

- are you batching frappucinos? thank fuck, she’s really trying to get those drive times down

- someone being a dick? let her know so she can argue with them lol

- whatever you do tho, keep those connections scores up. it’s the one thing she really gives a shit about

- her store is a high theft store, so she’s been doing her best to keep the store and her partners safe, but is always super paranoid when she works a closing shift

- trying to reach her phone on a day off is borderline impossible unless the store is being robbed or someone is dying, bi-han is her proxy but he’s not very friendly either so you’re fucked either way

- was also devastated when raspberry was discontinued

- gets a grande iced chai with oatmilk, two pumps of hazelnut, and strawberry cold foam, she’ll add on a couple blonde shots if she’s working an early shift

sindel:

- she’s the DM, it used to be kronika but she was fired for reasons no one will disclose

- vast improvement, let me tell you

- goes harder on both milleena and kitana, she refuses to let her daughters benefit from nepotism

- admires liu kang greatly, and was very disappointed when he rejected an offer to become a DM at a different district

- venti iced americano with 3 splendas and soy milk

- scary but nice

raiden sr.

- y’all know i couldn’t leave him out

- he wasn’t really in the new game but he’s too important

- doesn’t work at starbies at all, but is one of liu kang’s professors in college

- he is very fond of liu kang, they work closely together on his dissertation

- stops in every morning to see his grandson and his student, usually gets a black coffee or an earl grey tea

- is constantly scolding kung lao, he considers him a second grandchild and unfortunately that manifests in constant nagging

- loves his grandson to death and is very proud of him, but expresses it in a way that only raiden (jr.) and kung lao understand

- always beefing w/ shang tsung, except unlike liu kang’s beef w/ him, this shit goes back DECADES

- literally rancid beef

- always dissing each other

- shang tsung: surprised to see you here

- raiden: i come here almost every day, are you so old that your memory is failing you?

- shang tsung: i’m just surprised to see you haven’t died yet, old man

bi-han:

- SM at a high volume drive store located next to a busy highway and proxy for milleena’s store, hates his life and hates his job

- he barely likes anyone aside from his brother and tomas

- so friendly to customers that it’s unnerving to the partners on the floor with him

- seeing his customer service smile is so terrifying to everyone that knows him

- it gives like,,,,american psycho vibes

- only reason no one’s completely terrified of him is because he insists on wearing his fucked up high top vans to work and they aren’t non-slip so he’s constantly sliding around

- at this point he’s hoping he falls so he can go home early or injure himself badly enough to go on medical leave

- grabs the scalding hot dishes fresh out of the dishwasher with his bare hands just to feel something

- also doesn’t give much of a shit about the dress code, just don’t make it a problem with the food and health department

- loves hot bar, but hates that he has to talk to people because the hand off is right next to the espresso machine

- because of this, he’s usually on customer support

- he would quit if it wasn’t for sareena, his ASM, she’s the one thing keeping that place from falling apart

- has to take a smoke break after every shift

- someone PLEASE tell this man that coffee and a cigarette isn’t a meal

- huge coffee hipster, borderline pretentious and hates the bullshit that starbucks teaches

- “dead shots aren’t real, you idiot” - bi-han to tomas at some point

- never makes drinks to standard, always changes it to what he thinks is better

- “you’re supposed to pour the shots over the ic—“ “—no, it makes the shots taste like shit” - also bi-han to tomas at some point

- somewhat appreciates covid for the fact that it normalized wearing a face mask, it’s rare to ever see the bottom half of his face

- fell to his knees when the very berry refresher was discontinued

- that was the start of his villain arc

- now he only drinks a straight up iced quad blonde espresso, no cream, no sugar, no nothing

- however, he does love a good pour over

- tried the griddy frappucino in secret and loved it, fell to his knees a second time in despair

kuai liang:

- no one ever believes him when he says he’s bi-han’s brother because they’re so different

- consistent with connections, but always seems to attract the strangest of people so it usually ends awkwardly

- ultimate multitasker, excels in front and warming

- constantly burning his hands tho

- he keeps trying to convince bi-han to wear non-slip shoes

- he bought him those non-slip crocs and bi-han stopped talking to him for a week

- popular with teenage girls that come in because they think he’s dark and mysterious

- he’s just awkward

- hates the taste of coffee

- usually gets a pineapple passsion fruit lemonade with passion tea and no inclusions, he thinks they’re gross

smoke (tomas):

- literally carrying the majority of bi-han’s store’s connection score on his back

- big sweetheart, but kinda gullible and a bit of a pushover with customers

- let them start shit with other partners though, if you wanna see him mad

- wears the non-slip crocs that kuai liang bought for bi-han since he didn’t want them

- his barista love language is swapping out the sanitizer buckets and emptying the grounds drawers during peak

- people call him smoke cause he’s burnt so many cookies in the oven

- please don’t have this man on front and warming he’ll burn the store down

- average london fog enthusiast

[kepamount]

Fire In Your Eyes ♠️

Part 2 - Kepa’s POV

mafiaboss!kepa, dark romance, angst, smut, fluff, comedy

Rating: M

Warnings: dark themes, organised crime, blood, use of rope, cable ties and tape as restraints, starvation (i think???), mention of knives, female sexualisation (kepa finds y/n sexy and it's all he can think about lol), i think that’s everything but pls lmk if i missed something!

Word Count: 3.4k+

a/n: hey guys! here’s the second part of FIYE!! sorry for going ghost again - my rome holiday tired me out and i've just been recovering from that lol, i'll try to be more active now. pls lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be added to the taglist. hope you enjoy!! x

taglist 🤍: @silverlightprincess

‘Don’t you think we should feed her, boss?’ Mason says, looking over my shoulder at my phone, live CCTV footage from the room she’s locked in on the screen. She’s been sat there for nearly 20 hours now, tied to the chair whilst falling in and out of sleep. She hasn’t shed a single tear. I think I’d be proud if it didn’t piss me off so much. I’ve never had a prisoner be so defiant. Her strength is only making me want to break her even more.

‘She made her bed. Now she has to sleep in it,’ I say, locking my phone and putting it down on the desk, Mason walking away to sit on the sofa closest to me. ‘Lie in it. She’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it,’ he corrects me, and I wave a hand in the air. My English might be near perfect but I don’t think I’ll ever understand their stupid idioms.

‘Have you spoken to her father yet?’ Mason asks, and I shake my head, no. ‘Why not?’ ‘I want el cabrón viejo to spend a few days wondering who shot his man and stole his daughter from him first,’ I lie. I have spoken to him, but I haven’t decided how much of the conversation I will relay to my men yet.

‘By the sounds of it, he’s not gonna care,’ Mason says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Her words can’t be trusted,’ I remind him, and he gives me a sceptical look, both of us knowing from the girl’s tone the other night that she wasn’t lying.

‘Say she’s telling the truth. Say he really doesn’t care. What will you do with her?’ Mason asks, and I remain silent. It’s a question I’ve been thinking about a lot since she told us she’s his stepdaughter, and I still haven’t come to an answer yet. I can’t tell Mason that though. I need him to think I always have a solution to any problem we come across.

‘Her brothers.’ ‘…Her brothers?’ Mason asks, and I nod. ‘Her father’s getting old, and he’s much wiser than most of us. He doesn’t care about pride anymore, and he won’t risk anything in the name of his pride. But her brothers are young and stupid, and they have more pride than anyone else in the world. They won’t like that the Revueltas took their sister from them. Even if they don’t care about her, they’ll start a war to protect their pride,’ I explain, Mason nodding as though he thinks it’s a good idea.

‘So if the old bastard can’t be arsed, we’ll piss off the brothers instead?’ Mason confirms, and I nod. ‘But keep it to yourself for now. I don’t need the others discussing this,’ I warn him, and he draws a cross over his heart. ‘You know me, boss. Won’t breathe a word,’ he grins, and I raise an eyebrow at him, both of us knowing he’s a big mouth.

‘Check on her,’ he prompts, for the twentieth time in the last hour, and I shoot him a look. I hate being told what to do, and people seem to be trying to do it more often than they should at the moment. Nonetheless, I unlock my phone, checking the CCTV of the room she’s locked in again. She’s dozed off, head lolling forward with her chin against her chest, her back so straight that it even looks uncomfortable.

I feel a stab of guilt in my chest, and it makes me want to shoot something. I’ve done much worse to people for doing much less than she did, and I never felt guilty about any of them. But then again, none of them were as sexy as she is.

When Mason brought her into the office with the tape over her mouth, her hands tied behind her back and her body covered in blood, I felt heat rushing to my groin. I never thought I would find it hot to see a girl’s skin stained with her dead best friend’s blood, but here we are. Maybe it’s brainwashing from all those horror movies.

And that stare of hers. The anger in her eyes, the hard set of her jaw. Like a poodle puppy trying to be a rottweiler. Not to mention her mouth, the one she can’t seem to keep shut. No one’s ever spoken to me the way she did, looked at me the way she did, and gotten away alive. But there she was, ten minutes later, inspecting the knives in my cutlery drawer. I need to put a lock on that.

I can still feel her touch on my hand, bandaging up my cuts. Sophia usually deals with injuries but I thought I’d let her have a go, and I regretted it almost straight away. Her featherlight touches, her painted-white nails lightly scraping across my skin, the fact that my one hand is bigger than her two put together. My dick’s never gotten hard as quickly as it did that night.

Up close, her face looks different, especially since she wasn’t glaring at me. Relaxed, her features looked so delicate, fragile almost, and the softness of her cheeks made her look much younger. I wondered what her eyes would look like, but she didn’t look up from my hand once, focused on the task at hand with no interest for me.

And then she just carried on searching for food like nothing had happened, settling on the curly fries that I keep in the freezer for my niece when she’s here. She’s something else, with her dishwasher prejudices, her dietary requirements and her photography. Her phone has been calling out to me from where it’s locked in the safe under my desk, just begging me to go through it and see exactly what kind of photos she was talking about.

Since the moment I laid eyes on her, I’ve known I needed to get a deal sorted with her father to get her out of my house, so I phoned him as soon as Sophia, Kai, Trev and Christian left for their flight.

‘Reveulta. To what do I owe the pleasure?’ ‘We have her.’ ‘Ah, it was you? Well done.’ ‘Is that all you have to say?’ ‘I hope you’re not expecting threats or bargaining, because I don’t really need her back.’ ‘Cut the shit.’ ‘There is no… shit to cut, as you say. I was planning to offer her to you for marriage anyway. You’ve done me a favour, saved me all the negotiations.’ ‘…I don’t understand?’ ‘She’s my stepdaughter, Revuelta. As good to me as her mother is, and her mother’s dead now. So keep her, and do with her what you will. We’ll call it quits.’

The girl was right. He doesn’t care for her. I could let her go free today and her father probably wouldn’t even take her back in. He’s glad to be rid of her, and that brings a sick feeling to my stomach, which is quite irritating in all honesty.

As soon as I tell my men that she’s worth nothing, they’ll line up to either kill her or fuck her, and even the thought of it makes my blood boil. If any of them dare to put a hand on her, I’ll be the one doing the killing. I’m the one that kidnapped her, so she’s my toy to play with. My girl to break until she’s on her knees, begging for my mercy.

Though I’m sure it’s gonna take a lot of work. The girl is quite literally insane. Watching her on the CCTV, trying to break the lock on her door with a curtain pole, was the most entertaining 20 minutes of my life. And then, moments later, she burst into a made man’s office – his men sat around the room with guns in their hands – in a skimpy see-through t-shirt, nipples straining against the fabric, and her hands covered in blood. Again. It’s like she was sent to make sure I’m constantly hard.

Seeing her stand her ground, making complaints to a man that could kill her with his bare hands, I nearly pushed her down onto her knees and found a satisfying way to shut her up. Instead, I told her no one cares about her, dragged her up to the torture room, pressed a gun to her forehead and left her there to cry even though she begged me not to. Real smooth.

But it’s not like I didn’t give her an out less than 3 hours later! It’s not my fault she was too proud – or too unhinged – to take it. And, yes, it pissed me off, so I taped her mouth and tied her neck to the chair. That’s what happens when you don’t know that your place is beneath me.

‘Don’t you feel bad?’ Mason asks, stood behind me and looking at the screen again. ‘No. Do you?’ I ask, wondering if I need to rethink whether he should be my underboss. ‘No. It’s just… all she’s eaten in the last 50 hours is a plate of curly fries,’ he says quietly and, again, the guilt in my chest makes me want to kick something out of frustration.

‘I told her I’d leave her in there for a day. It hasn’t been a day yet.’ ‘Kepa, it’s been 20 hours. She won’t even know that it’s 4 hours less than what you promised,’ Mason says tiredly, as though I’m being unreasonable, and I remain silent for a few long moments, both of us watching her sleep on the screen. Well, I’m assuming she’s sleeping. She could be passed out from hunger for all we know.

‘There’s a loaf of gluten-free bread in the kitchen cupboard where we keep the normal bread, and there’s dairy-free cheese in the fridge. Go and make her a cheese sandwich. And use the dairy-free butter as well. Bring her down and then bring her the food from the kitchen. Leave the tape on her mouth and the cable tie around her wrists,’ I instruct, ignoring the dark voice inside me telling me to leave her there for another four hours.

‘Not gonna feed her things she can’t eat again?’ Mason asks with a cheeky grin as he heads across the room, and I shoot him a look. ‘Ten cuidado,’ I warn him, before continuing, ‘I don’t know why everyone thinks I was behind that. It wasn’t me.’ ‘It wasn’t?’ he asks sceptically, stopping in the door way, and I shake my head.

‘Our chef took it upon herself to explicitly ignore the instructions I gave her. I assume she didn’t like having to cook to certain dietary requirements,’ I say mildly, Mason’s eyebrows rising so high they disappear behind his hair. ‘Does that explain why I saw her dragging her bags out through the front door yesterday?’ he asks, and I shrug, both of us knowing that yes, it does explain it. If my staff disobey me, they don’t remain as my staff for much longer.

‘I can’t believe you fired her. She makes the best tacos,’ Mason grumbles, and I shake my head amusedly. ‘Get your new favourite prisoner to make them for you instead. It’s her fault your chef’s gone,’ I remind him, Mason visibly perking up at the mention of the girl.

It seems I’m not the only one she has an… odd effect on. Dios. I need to get her out of this house before she makes one of us do something stupid. And then I watch Mason bound off down the corridor to make her a sandwich with gluten-free bread and dairy-free cheese, and I realise that it’s already too late.

I distract myself with a few phone calls but my curiosity gets the better of me after a while and I check the CCTV footage again. My timing is perfect, Mason just entering the room as the live footage loads on my screen. He must have taken his time making her sandwich.

She’s awake now, eyeing him warily as he grins at her. He must crack a joke, her face softening like she’s laughing behind the tape over her mouth, and it makes me want to lock him up along with her. She hasn’t given me a single smile, and yet Mason seems to get one from her every time he opens his mouth.

I watch as he drops to one knee, cutting her legs free, before walking around to cut her neck free of the rope too. He helps her to her feet but her legs are clearly stiff, her knees giving way. Anger sparks in my chest as he slides an arm around her waist to keep her upright. They walk slowly towards the door, her shoulders shaking with laughter at something he says. Yeah, I’ve seen enough.

I lock my phone, dropping it to the desk so I don’t throw it against the wall, and I busy myself with scrolling through emails on my laptop. My eyes skim across the screen but none of the words go in, my focus elsewhere. I’m like a teenage girl standing at the window, waiting for her date to pick her up. What is wrong with me?

When the office doors open, I don’t look up, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the screen. I let them both stand there for as long as I can bear before I look up at Mason, ignoring her fiery stare as I dismiss him with a nod. He lets go of her, heading back out through the door, and I finally allow myself to look at her.

Her eyes are red and bleary, dark circles prominent beneath them. Her skin is a shade lighter than when I locked her in the room, and it’s almost as though she looks thinner after not eating much in the last couple days. She looks exhausted but still strong, like she’d rather spend another week locked in that room than comply with me. The girl’s a fighter, I’ll give her that.

‘Don’t look at me like that. You brought this on yourself,’ I remind her, the accusation in her eyes dimming slightly. At least she knows it’s her own fault. ‘This doesn’t have to be difficult. Believe it or not, I haven’t enjoyed treating you like this,’ I lie, the look in her eyes saying she doesn’t believe it for a second. This girl already knows me too well.

‘You’re a young girl, and you’re my… ¿cómo se dice en inglés? Leverage,’ I say, the word taking its time to come to me, and she rolls her eyes. I never knew someone could be so expressive with their eyes. She doesn’t even need to speak for me to know what she’s thinking.

‘I know you think you’re worthless to your stepfather, but you’re wrong. I have spoken to him,’ I say, the girl trying her hardest to remain nonchalant. She raises an eyebrow, as if to ask what we discussed, and I let out a soft laugh.

‘I do not discuss the details of my business con un rehén. But let’s just say that you will not be spending any more time tied to a chair. He wants you taken care of,’ I lie, the glimmer of hope that appears in her eyes sparking endearment in my chest, anger at myself following after it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt affection, jealousy or guilt and, suddenly, this girl is making me feel all three.

‘You will be put back in your bedroom, without a lock on the door. You have freedom to roam around the house and the gardens as you wish. There is food in the kitchen that you can eat – not just curly fries – and you are free to make yourself meals whenever you want to. If you need anything, you speak to Mason or to me. And you do not, under any circumstances, burst into my office without knocking again. Am I understood?’ I ask, the thought that I’m an absolute idiot echoing in my mind.

She tries to hide the surprise and relief but it’s clear to see in the way her eyebrows rise ever-so-slightly, in the way her shoulders lose their tension. ‘I asked if I’m understood,’ I say, my voice becoming harsher, and she nods after a short moment. ‘Bien,’ I say as Mason re-enters the room, a plate in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

‘Cut her wrists free and take the tape from her mouth,’ I tell him, and I watch her as her eyes follow the plate, her pupils practically dilating at the sight of food. He puts the plate and glass down on my desk before going back to her, cutting the cable tie behind her back and slowly peeling the tape from her mouth. She doesn’t wince this time.

She lets out a soft sigh when her mouth is free, taking the glass from Mason and gulping down the water like a woman parched. Well… I suppose she is a woman parched. Mason wasn’t wrong the other day – watching her drink like this is pretty hot.

He refills the glass for her before getting the first aid kit from one of the shelves across the room. At the sight of the kit, she looks surprised before remembering her hands are bloody from destroying the lock on her door.

I should be on the phone or on my laptop but I can’t take my eyes away from her as Mason cleans her hands with an antiseptic wipe – it’s a bit late considering she’s had those cuts on her hands for nearly an entire day, but he’s not used to cleaning wounds, which is obvious with how he puts around ten small plasters on each of her hands instead of one big bandage. He means well. Again, she doesn’t wince, and I give myself credit for hardening her against small pains. She’ll thank me for this one day.

She thanks him with a small smile once he’s done, her voice so soft I can’t even hear it, only able to make out what she says from the movement of her lips. ‘Sit down,’ he tells her, pointing to one of the sofas, and she does so, her body visibly relieved at finally sitting on a comfortable surface. He takes her the plate, and she raises an eyebrow, her disbelieving gaze directed at me. He gets smiles and thank yous, and I get glares and scepticism.

‘It’s gluten-free bread, and dairy-free cheese. No nuts in either,’ I say drily, mild guilt appearing on her face. And then she surprises me by asking, ‘Promise?’ Is this girl for real? ‘Yes. I promise,’ I say begrudgingly, and that’s all she needs to lift the sandwich to her mouth, taking a bite.

If she has any reservations about eating in front of men, she doesn’t show them, eating in the most unladylike manner I’ve ever seen in my life. She devours the gluten-free and dairy-free sandwich – which I can only imagine tastes like cardboard – as though it’s a gourmet meal prepared by a Michelin star chef. Mason and I watch her, both of us unreasonably fascinated, but she pays no attention to us, her focus on the rapidly depleting food in front of her.

Once she’s finished, she drinks some water before croaking out her thanks. Thanking us for feeding her a shitty sandwich after tying her to a chair and leaving her with nothing but her thoughts for almost an entire day. This girl is too soft. ‘I’ll make you another one,’ Mason says, taking the plate from her and practically sprinting out of the room. I really need to have a word with him.

My phone begins ringing after a moment and I answer the call, barely able to focus on the conversation while she’s sat in the room. She’s trying to pretend she’s not listening, her eyes taking in the details of the room, but I can tell she’s eavesdropping and understanding a fair bit of what I say. I did my research, so I know she studied Spanish growing up, alongside several other languages. I suddenly wonder what it’d be like to hear her speak Spanish, the thought making my blood warm.

I block her out of my mind, focusing on the voice on the other end of the phone, and I only allow myself to look at her when the call is finished, a small smile finding its way to my lips. So much has happened in this room, other than just business. Fights, sex, drinking, poker, murder, drugs, torture. But nothing as odd as this girl curled up in the corner of a sofa, sleeping soundly in one of my old t-shirts.

[thatsmistertoyou]

yknow I was thinking about it just a few weeks ago and I thought hey maybe Dan has moved on from being Online™️, at least for the foreseeable future. I thought well, I hope he’s good and satisfied with that and knows that there’s still an audience that respects and supports him if and when he chooses to come back, even if we’re all old af now. I really wouldn’t have ever guessed at the Big Reason lmao the AUDACITY of yt!!

(I’m kinda curious to see if yt responds to this in some way. Probably not but watching them get dragged to filth WAS fun ngl)

Anyway. More personal rambles under the cut

I really appreciated his comments about parasocial relationships. We really can’t help it in this day and age - public figures affect us, even if they are ‘public’ in the broadest sense of the word. It is not lost on me that most if not all of you that are still here are reading this bc you read my fic about this real closeted man and his secret lover lmao. If I never had to see any more commentary on rpf it’d be too damn soon. It’s all been said I think we’ve had enough. You’re not going to virtue signal people out of it my guys this is the internet I really don’t know what to tell you

But anyway. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it. I never claimed it was speculative. After a while I stopped doing that on here altogether. They just genuinely inspired me. What can I say. I found their dynamic and story compelling. What if I told it in my own way, what if I put this spin on it, what if I could make something fun and sweet that other people would enjoy, what if I made something dramatic and heartbreaking. They helped me discover something I had only dabbled in, an intense passion for the craft of writing that I have only recently picked back up bc I found new muses. (If you like Breath of the Wild, hmu lol)

This community was my lifeline in a very hard time in my life. It helped me make a lot of the friends I have today, some of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It demonstrably changed my life. I didn’t ask for it, but I needed it.

And so I really related to what Dan said about yt. The conflict of wondering if it is a net good when it put people in uncomfortable positions sometimes. Obviously it’s not a direct parallel, I’m not comparing like, petty fandom drama to the trauma of people analyzing your every move while you’re closeted and afraid. I’m glad Dan has been able to come to terms with it, at least a little lol. I think we’d all like to think we had no part in it - I never sent Dan an ask on his margarita blog asking if he was gay or dm’ed him my fic on twitter or submitted drawings of him and his bff fucking when he asked for art. But where’s the line? When does it stop being fun and harmless?

I appreciated his comments about that as well. I myself have loved to cite the fact that Dan really did say ‘knock yourselves out’ when it comes to fan works, asked for submissions of them at several points, and straight up wrote his own and put it in a nyt bestselling book that would forever immortalize him. And also performed it on stage, if in a cheeky and self-aware way. (Yes Phil did most of these things too, but we’re talking about the other one rn. And tbh, Dan always seemed like the one to seek permission from, right? Idk how to explain it but I feel like y’all know what I mean when I say that.)

I recently had my first ever impulse to get rid of my fics - not delete them, but maybe orphan them on ao3 so they wouldn’t be 100% tied to me. Or maybe take them down but keep an archive of pdfs linked here or something - something that would at least partially distance me from The Evils Of RPF. Lbr, I worked too damn hard to destroy my legacy completely. I’ve gotten so many wonderful messages over the years saying that my stories have had real impacts on real people. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen.

But Dan and Phil are real people too! Dan has talked about how traumatizing it was to have people clock him as gay before he was ready! It’s invasive! It’s weird! It ruined one direction! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Can y’all tell the posts I’m talking about. Have you seen them too.

The one really caught my attention - something like ‘amazing how all those 13 year olds knew Dan and Phil were gay like immediately, they tried to deny it and it didn’t work’. Shit like that puts me on the defensive like immediately, but, admittedly, it was funny. I was like. First of all I was 18 the first time I even saw one of their videos, get your facts straight, not all of us were that young. And second, I was immediately like Self Recognition Through The Other.

Yes it was also maybe invasive curiosity and speculation, maybe attraction to them, maybe genuine enjoyment of their content, maybe the digital landscape at the time in which watching real people do real shit was novel and no one knew the implications until it all started to blow up, etc etc. but like. I didn’t know I was queer at ALL at the time. And a few years in the community later I had more friends than I’d ever had, thriving hobbies, and am now openly bisexual. I can’t say any of that would have happened without this super weird and scary thing.

So, all of that to say, I understand at least some of what Dan was talking about.

Also I’m not deleting my fics, dw. If my boss finds them that’s her fault.

(Not saying I would have absolutely shit myself if Dan had, in fact, launched a project about an alternate unhappy version of his life on his 30th birthday, but it’s a strong possibility.)

[bucksbisexual]

gmmtv 2022 borderless review!

just got around to watch the trailers so im gonna give my opinions on them hehe

(help there's no "keep reading" on mobile)

the three gentlebros

okay so this is kind of like getting the "not like other girls" for each of the three which i find v funny lmao also gun acting as a het man will always make me laugh so maybe ill check it out for that weekly comedy and for tay looking Amazing

u.m.g.

OHYMG DO THIS LOOKS SO COOL OKAY I REALLY LIEKD THIS ONE WOW I WASNT EXPECTING TO ACTUALLY LIKE ONE OF THEM LMAO JSHFSMDNDN namtan looks Beautiful and so does milk!!!!!! find it v funny the fact that milk is the love interest here while being the love rival (for like 2 eps) on bad buddy skdbsndn but AAAAA can't wait to see what comes out of this first trailer!! hopefully it won't be cancelled jdfhksdb

star and sky: star in my mind/sky in your heart

im sorry... what? the first part? first story? of the trailer looked like it could have potential if it was done right even if it was good per se, but the second half was literally atots. like.. change names and professions and personalities a bit and that's atots. so weird tbh i don't think i'll be tuning in lmao i'm still waiting for my explicitly named bi rep on the player with mek so until then im not looking at mek

home school

okay this lowkey feels like a darker the giftedtthe gifted graduation with even some of the same actors and actresses appearing but i LOVED it omg this looks Very promising!!!

cupid's last wish

it looks.. angsty but also cute? idk maybe it's just earthmix that just bring those two together in everything they do jdfhskdj im a bit :/ at the body swapping thingy so idk if i'll check it out but it looks promising!

oops! mr superstar hit on me

what. the. fuck. no. i'm not even going to explain why. just. no. (reading the comments for this gave me an aneurysm)

my dear donovan

if they try to tell me that l*ke is hot one more time im going to kill myself. /j lmao anyways that was.. something. the cute/innocent girl with bad boy on a love triangle with a Good Guy trope is so straight it pains me. made me waste minutes of my time but at least namtan looked good in it

the warp effect

okay so this one was a bit confusing ngl but as much as i dislike n*w i did really like how it looked so maaaaybe i'll watch it (but mostly for the wlws because THERES WLWS!!!!!!)

the eclipse

OH MY GODDDDDD ENEMIES TO LOVERS?????? WITH SECRET DATING???????????? AND MYSTERY????????????? AND GAY??????????????? THEY REALLY GOT ME HERE HOLY SHITTTTT I CANT WAIT FOR THIS ONE I KNOW SHES GONNA HIT DIFFERENT

good old days

this one was really boring lmao they pretty much tell you what's gonna happen with this trailer and the premise itself is lame imo (also it has kr*stso that immediately makes it unwatchable)

never let me go

this one has great potential to become one of The bls in the more mature side of them, but hopefully pond gets better before filming because you can see the difference between phuwin and him here so clearly :')) loved to see chimon with his brown hair being in this as well!! him being the friend and then the secret boyfie made me happy even though im not supposed to be cheering for him lmao

ten years ticket

okay this one was interesting but i don't think I'm gonna be watching it cus it looks a little messy lmao rip pluem tho

you fight, and i love

joss truly is the only gmmtv man i can stand being repeatedly told he's hot because they're right! he is! besides that, love looks vvvv pretty (as always)!!! they're good by themselves but i don't see them together (if either of them wants to hmu my dms are open wink wonk)

midnight motel

off and jan is a pairing that I never really thought of but wow this actually looks good?? the plot looks interesting and the murder plot twist made me really want to check it out hehe also...... mond sir im free very free very much free really really really free just free all the days of the week all of them no exception nope none at all just free!

moonlight chicken

another earthmix show? damn they really got themselves booked and busy this year lmaOOOO i don't really care about the cousin or whatever his deal is but the show looks interesting (like.. it's giving coffee shop au without being a coffee shop, if ya get what i mean) and im probably gonna be waiting for its official trailer

dirty laundry

oh god with how many people does nanon have excellent chemistry with?????? because him and film are making me go INSANE oh my god i loved this so much this pairing was for the bisexuals and the bisexuals only oh my godddddddd I can't stop thinking about nanon dressed like a woman and looking so fucking pretty im sorry brain sees pretty boys and it goes under maintenance oh god oh god oh GOD im so into this (jennie and foei as an emo couple had me DYINGGGGG they're so funny i love them)

vice versa

this one was a lil confusing because I thought it would have more ohm and nanon but after jimmy shows up they're nowhere to be seen again???? idk it looks interesting tho

p.s. i hate you

ohhhh this looks so good already!!! women being evil and dirty and sexy? sign me tf in ! also pearwah always playing the character who either cheats is sending me to MARS like that's so sus bruv 😭😭

my school president

eh it looks cute but im not interested in it at all so let's move on so i can finally fucking end this post it's been hours please gmmtv why are you doing this to me

devil sister

this made no sense straight people are insufferable and im tired of pretending win is good at acting when he's not ❤

you are my favourite

krusty trying to beat the homophobic allegations by being homophobic is actually so funny to me like bestie this is not how you do it it truly isn't 😭😭😭😭😭 also why is it always aye the girl that has to be in some way paired up with krusty and also the girl who has to cry her heart out god i hate gmmtv

astrophile

the only thing i care about here is davika omg she looks SO pretty AAAAAA choose ME pick ME

my precious

oh this is a movie!! and it looks lighthearted and funny!!!!! and it has the pairing for the bisexuals Again!!!!!!! and the three 00 liners!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't know how i'll watch it but i Will

okay that's all the trailers they gave us holy fuck that's a lot,, im sure they will cancel at least one of them like they did with last year's new and next but im excited to watch the ones that i liked!! i was honestly expecting way worse trailers because of how my dashboard was reacting but if i had been watching that stream for almost 5 hours and got these i probably would've reacted way worse LMAO

[silverlightqueen]

Ozone 🦋

‘I need some reasons to live, maybe you could show me some.’

Phases - Hwang Hyunjin X Chase Atlantic

Rating: M (heavy angst, fluff, slightly suggestive)

Warnings: substance abuse, drug addiction, depression and discussion of suicidal behaviours/thoughts, toxic relationship, mention of alcohol, strong language

Word Count: 9.3k+ 

a/n: and here is the third (and my favourite) part of phases, my hhjxchaseatlantic series! please proceed with caution because this fic contains some serious and potentially triggering topics! I really hope you guys enjoy this, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist! the biggest thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading this, love you sis xo

taglist 🦋: @diue @shesfuckedinthehead @danyxthirstae01 @linours @titleisyettobemade @jikooksgirl19​ @straytannies​ @silverlightprincess​

‘I’m so sorry, Chaer, I gotta go, they’re blowing up my phone, I-’ ‘It’s okay, y/n, don’t worry about it. I’ll finish my story after,’ Chaeryeong says softly, patting the other girl’s shoulder comfortingly, and she mirrors Chaeryeong’s smile as she gets up from the table, trying to leave without Lia noticing her. She needs to be quick because she doesn’t wanna miss anything, so she slips around the edges of the room, hoping not to get caught in a conversation with one of Lia’s drunk uncles.

The sun is just beginning to set, the sky streaked with the most beautiful pastel colours, and a gentle breeze blows, kissing her exposed skin. The dresses Lia chose for them are so gorgeous – sea blue layers of floaty chiffon with thin straps and leg slits – and they’re perfect for this warm summer evening. The doorman offers her his arm to help her, and her heels click against the front steps of the manor house that Lia’s family have rented. She continues walking, right onto the grass, to make sure she’s stood a sufficient distance from the front door and the staff, not wanting anyone to overhear her conversation.

‘Where the fuck are you guys? The speeches are done, they’re about to serve the starters, and you idiots still aren’t here!’ she hisses angrily down the phone, Jisung silent for a moment before he says, ‘If any of you had answered your phones, then you’d know where we’ve been. And anyway, don’t blame all of us. It’s your idiot boyfriend that’s the problem.’ She takes a deep breath, already feeling her eyes fill with tears. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’ ‘Okay, well, whatever the fuck he is to you.’ ‘It doesn’t matter what he is to me – he’s your best friend. But anyway, what’s he done?’ ‘He’s blown out his mind again. Taken so many xans that I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out.’

She takes a deep breath, trying not to scream, and closes her eyes for a moment to compose herself. ‘Where are you?’ ‘At your place. We went straight there after the ceremony, to pick up the present like you asked, but he decided to pop a few while he waited in the car. They haven’t fully kicked in yet, so we’re waiting for him to get over the peak.’ ‘No, you can’t wait. You’re gonna have to just bring him.’

‘…y/n, are you insane? He’s gonna be higher than a kite in, like, 30 minutes!’ ‘I know, but you can’t miss this! You already missed the speeches, and Lia will start asking where you guys are soon. Our table is literally right at the front of the room, and there are four empty seats. It’s very noticeable, and very embarrassing that four of her closest friends are a no-show at her wedding!’ ‘Yeah, but we can’t bring him while he’s like this!’ ‘We’ll leave him in the car and take turns to look after him until he’s come down.’ ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yes! It’s better than you guys missing her wedding! Get here now.’ ‘Okay, okay, we’re on our way. We’ll be there in 20.’ ‘Make it 15.’ ‘y/n-’ ‘I’m not kidding, Sung!’ ‘Fine, 15. You’re paying any speed tickets, though.’ ‘Fine, whatever, just get here.’

The line clicks off and she blinks a few times to clear her vision before heading back up into the big ballroom, slipping back to her seat. ‘Where are they?’ Yeji asks the second she sits down, all of them waiting for her answer. ‘Hyunjin got high, so they were waiting for him to come back down before they came,’ she says quietly, embarrassed at his behaviour, and all of her friends look furious.

‘Is he fucking kidding? On Lia’s wedding day? How fucking selfish can he be?’ Ryujin hisses angrily, and all she can do is nod in agreement. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with him. But I told them to come anyway, and he can just wait in the car. It’s not fair that the other three should miss Lia’s big day because of him,’ she says softly, none of them wanting any of the other wedding guests to hear.

‘I swear to God, y/n, you need to drop him. He’s a fucking waste of space, and I’m sick of his bullshit,’ Chaeryeong says, and the other girl doesn’t say anything, looking at the empty seat beside her with thinly veiled misery. ‘Um, he’s our friend,’ Minho says, the girls turning their irritated gazes to him. ‘He’s our friend too, but it doesn’t mean what they said isn’t true. He is a waste of space, and we are sick of his bullshit,’ Yeji says softly, the boys exchanging glances before nodding in agreement. ‘Yeah, I guess. We just… feel bad for him,’ Changbin says, and Yuna scoffs. ‘Yeah, I did too. When we were in high school. We’re adults now, and we all have our lives together. He’s the only one that doesn’t. He needs to grow up like the rest of us,’ she says drily, everyone on the table in agreement that he’s a total mess.

It’s all too much for her, hearing all of this out loud, and she gets up from the table suddenly, all of them turning their gazes to her, guilt and concern appearing on their faces. ‘y/n, are y-’ ‘I’m fine, I just… gotta… go,’ she says faintly, getting up and heading towards the exit, stumbling out into the corridor with tears filling her eyes again. She makes her way to the bathroom on shaky legs, smiling weakly at Lia’s aunties that are congregated by the mirrors, gossiping about so-and-so’s dress and so-and-so’s new haircut.

She locks herself into a cubicle and checks Jisung’s location on her phone, breathing a sigh of relief when she sees his little dot moving closer to her own. She takes a minute to calm herself down, trying not to let their words about the boy she’s in love with replay in her mind, but she can’t help it. He is selfish, and a waste of space. It may be hard to hear, but it’s all true, and he’s never done anything to prove otherwise, never even attempted to show everyone they’re wrong about him. He’s a mess, and he knows it just as well as everyone else does.

She doesn’t know how long she’s sat on the lid of the toilet, watching Jisung’s dot on her phone, but when she finally leaves the cubicle, the bathroom is completely empty and eerily quiet. She stares at herself in the mirror for a while, and a small but genuine smile appears on her face at her reflection. She woke up super early this morning to make sure she looked especially nice, and she definitely achieved it – her makeup is flawless despite the tears that have threatened to spill twice already today, and her hair is perfect, unaffected by the slight breeze that’s been blowing since this morning.

She rolls her shoulders and neck to release some of the tension in her body, the crack of her bones echoing in the empty room. She puts her phone on the side, washing her hands with the expensive jasmine hand-soap, and just as she finishes drying her hands, the door opens. ‘Ah, y/n! My darling, you look gorgeous!’ Lia’s grandmother says with a big smile, the girl letting out a little exclamation of excitement as she wraps her arms around the small woman. ‘Thank you, Mrs Choi! And you look gorgeous too!’ ‘Oh, thank you, dear! Lia chose this dress for me – it seems she has an eye for good dresses, doesn’t she? You all looked so lovely stood beside her in your beautiful dresses earlier.’ ‘Not as lovely as the bride herself, of course.’ ‘Of course, of course! She looks stunning. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of tears all day,’ Lia’s grandmother laughs, and the girl truly means it when she says, ‘me too.’

‘It is an emotional day indeed. I look forward to the day that you get married, y/n. I’ll be able to spend the day getting a little too drunk like your grandmother has today,’ Mrs Choi gossips, the two of them giggling together. ‘I look forward to that day too, Mrs Choi. Lia’s wedding has just made me so much more excited for my own. I can’t wait.’ ‘Well, I don’t think you’ll have to wait too long.’ ‘Um… I’m not so sure about that,’ the girl says, getting a suspicious look in response. ‘Don’t tell me you and Hyunjin have broken up.’ ‘We’ve never been together, which isn’t even the start of our problems. He’s… just an idiot.’ ‘All boys are idiots, y/n. The sooner you come to terms with it, the better.’ ‘He’s more of an idiot than the rest of them, Mrs Choi. He’s not even my boyfriend, and I’m just fed up of him,’ she vents, Lia’s grandmother raising an eyebrow at her.

‘Sweetheart, does somebody need to have a word with the little shit? Because if he’s going around behind your back, Mr Choi will s-’ ‘No, he’s not… going around behind my back. He just hasn’t got his life together and it’s starting to really affect our relationship, if I can even call it that.’ ‘Oh, dear. Maybe you’re better off without him.’ ‘I am better off without him.’ ‘Well, I’m glad you know it. The day you decide to actually do something about it, let me know. Lia’s got some single cousins an-’ ‘Thank you for the offer, Mrs Choi, but I don’t need you to matchmake for me.’ ‘You say that now, but just wait,’ Lia’s grandmother says with a mischievous grin, the girl rolling her eyes amusedly. ‘We’ll see.’ ‘We shall. Now you go back and join your friends, sweetheart. I’ll catch you on the dancefloor later,’ the old lady says with a little shake of her hips, the girl bursting into laughter as she heads out of the bathroom.

She checks Jisung’s location again, and he’s only a couple minutes away, so she heads back out to the front of the manor house, admiring the vast grounds with its high trees, vibrant flowers and clear lake as she waits for them to arrive. As soon as she sees the car, she heads towards the driveway, the doorman helping her down the steps again. The second the boys start getting out of the car, she begins fussing about them. They all look dishevelled, and she’d rather not know why.

‘Don’t any of you know how to answer your damn phones?’ Felix says with half-hearted annoyance, letting the girl tighten his tie around his neck. ‘Lia’s family were doing their speeches, and then everyone was coming around and greeting us, so we couldn’t exactly start talking to you idiots on the phone.’ ‘We’re not the idiots, y/n,’ Seungmin says drily, standing still to let her straighten the flower on his lapel. ‘I know,’ she says softly, not even wanting to look in the car and see him. ‘How is he anyway?’ ‘He’s at his peak, so he should be near sober in about an hour, hour and a half,’ Jisung says, rolling his eyes as the girl fixes his hair. ‘Right, fine. We’ll come get him in an hour then. Let’s go.’

‘Woah, woah, hold on. We can’t just leave him in the car by himself,’ Seungmin says, and she raises an eyebrow at him. ‘Why not? If he doesn’t wanna be left in a car by himself, he shouldn’t get high before our best friend’s wedding reception.’ ‘Yeah, I get that, but what if he does something stupid?’ Felix asks, the girl sighing. ‘What do you suggest then?’ ‘We’ll… take shifts watching him. I’ll go first,’ Jisung says, and she shakes her head with wide eyes. ‘Are you insane? You need to go in and say hi to everyone, and then send someone else out, one of the boys. I’ll keep an eye on him for now,’ she says reluctantly, the boys exchanging a glance.

‘If there’s anyone that shouldn’t do a shift, y/n, it’s you.’ ‘Yeah, I know that, Jisung, but no one else is here, so it’ll have to be me. Just go, stop wasting time. If anyone asks where he is, say he’s really ill and he’s sleeping it off in the car,’ she says quickly, taking the car keys from Seungmin and shooing them away, watching as they head up towards the house. ‘You look very hot, by the way! As always!’ Jisung shouts over his shoulder with a grin and she rolls her eyes at him, flattered but most certainly not in the mood. ‘Miss, would you like me to take the car around to the car park for you?’ the valet says, suddenly appearing by her side, and she jumps slightly in surprise. ‘Um, actually… my friend’s still in the car – he’s not very well so we’re just gonna get him to sleep it off and take turns keeping an eye on him. Is there anywhere we can park the car where it’s closer to the house?’ she asks, and the valet thinks for a moment. ‘There’s a little clearing over this side of the house, Miss. I can drive the car there if you’d like,’ he offers, the girl nodding and handing him the keys.

She follows behind the car, walking carefully along the gravel, and thanks the valet profusely as he hands the keys back to her. She wonders whether or not she should get into the car, but the decision is made for her when Hyunjin rolls down the back window, looking at her with an unreadable expression, the whites of his eyes discoloured with red and his bottom lip split. That explains why the boys were all looking dishevelled – they must have gotten into a… scuffle with him. She doesn’t say anything, looking away from him after a moment, and he chuckles. ‘Don’t I get a lecture?’ he asks amusedly, and she doesn’t even dignify his question with a response. ‘Silent treatment?’ ‘Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.’ He just chuckles in response, and she wants nothing more than to land a heavy punch on his annoyingly perfect face. Instead, she leans against the car and looks down at her phone, scrolling unseeingly through the pictures that Jeongin took of the girls earlier.

‘Why are you always so high-strung, babe? Just relax. Take a xanny,’ he says, smile audible in his voice, and she looks at him with pure disgust. ‘It’s not funny. Not one thing about this is funny.’ ‘It’s a little bit funny.’ ‘You’re fucking sick in the head,’ she spits angrily, and he looks taken aback for a moment, quickly smoothing out his features into that arrogant expression he wears all the time. ‘Wow, that’s harsh. What have I done to you? It’s Lia’s wedding – she’s the only one that can be angry with me,’ he says amusedly, and she feels her eyes filling with tears again. ‘No, actually, I can be angry at you too. It’s fucking humiliating having everyone look at the empty seat next to mine, your empty seat, wondering where the fuck my dirtbag of a boyfriend is!’

‘I’m not your boyfriend,’ he says quickly, the girl letting out a humourless laugh, furious that that’s the thing he decides to address. ‘Yeah, you’ve made that pretty fucking obvious.’ ‘Listen, y/n, I don’t get why you’re so upset that the seat next to you is empty. Just… move seats,’ he grins, as though it’s simple, and she wants to rip his soft black hair out of his stupid head. ‘That’s not the problem, Hyunjin. It’s a lonely feeling.’ ‘You’re sat with your best friends. They’re keeping you company. How can you say you’re lonely?’ ‘They’re all sat next to their boyfriends and girlfriends. The only empty seat on the table, now that the other three are there, is the one next to mine. It’s lonely because they all have their significant others there.’ ‘Well, maybe you should get a boyfriend then. It’s not my fault that you’re single,’ he smiles serenely, and she feels her heart break.

He just called her single. They’ve been messing around since high school, and never have either of them said that they’re single. It was always ‘it’s complicated’, or ‘yeah, we’re kinda together’, or even ‘I’m seeing someone’. Never that they’re single. And he knows that. He’s saying it on purpose, to hurt her – she’s sure of it – and she’s never hated him more than in this moment. Her eyes shine with tears and he just looks back at her smugly with his slightly bloodshot eyes. His body is so accustomed to being high that it’s only ever his eyes that change. His body is never slow or sluggish, his words are never slurred, he never becomes uncoordinated or dizzy. The only sign of him being up in the clouds is his eyes being tinged with a little red.

Changbin appears, almost out of nowhere, and he looks between them with silent concern. ‘Does Lia know anything?’ Hyunjin asks, directing the question at both of them, but the girl ignores him. ‘No. She’s not stupid, though – she’ll realise soon enough,’ Changbin says with no warmth or kindness, and Hyunjin almost looks guilty when he asks, ‘Are you gonna cover for me?’ ‘We’re not gonna ruin her wedding day. So… yeah, we’ll have to cover for you,’ Changbin answers quietly, and the girl lets out a little humourless laugh. ‘You fucking owe us one, you piece of shit.’ ‘I owe you all more than just one. Especially you, y/n. I owe you hundreds. You never stop doing things for me,’ he says with a grin, as though it’s something to be proud of, and it makes her feel sick – it’s like he’s mocking her, making her seem like she’s just his little fan, who follows him around and does whatever he asks.

‘You head back inside, y/n. I’ll stay with this dickhead,’ Changbin says softly, putting a gentle hand on her arm, and she nods, not wasting another moment before heading towards the front of the manor. ‘Tell whoever’s on the next shift to bring me a bottle of vodka!’ Hyunjin calls after the girl and she bites down on her lip, to stop herself from both screaming at him and bursting into tears, feeling that Changbin’s ‘shut your fucking mouth before I shove my fist in it, you fucking moron’ is more than enough of a scolding.

When she re-enters the ballroom, the atmosphere has livened up considerably, the guests beginning to mix between tables, the music a little louder and the lights a little lower. She heads back to the table with her friends, Lia sat there, and she feels a little bit of panic when Lia spots her, the bride’s eyes narrowing. ‘What’s going on with him?’ Lia asks the second the other girl sits down, and she waits for her response with a raised eyebrow, the others on the table silent. ‘These guys already told you, right?’ ‘No, they didn’t. They’re saying that nothing’s wrong, which is bullshit. What’s going on, y/n?’ The girl decides she’s not gonna lie for him, she’s not gonna cover for him anymore, and she takes a deep sigh before saying, ‘he’s high, Lia. I’m sorry.’

Lia shakes her head disappointedly, sadness in her eyes, but there isn’t one hint of surprise in her reaction at all, which hurts. No one’s ever surprised by his behaviour. No one ever expects anything better of him. No one ever thinks he might make a change, but it’s probably because he never will.

‘I even told him he could get high after my family are all gone. They’re leaving at 9 and then we’ve got the place to ourselves all night. He just had to wait a few more hours,’ Lia says angrily, the others all shaking their heads in mutual disappointment. ‘Where is he? I wanna speak to him,’ she says abruptly, getting up from her seat without a second’s hesitation, and all her friends exchange alarmed glances. ‘Woah, Lia, hold on. Changbin’s with him, but you can’t go. It’s your wedding – you can’t just disappear,’ Yeji says, and Lia looks like she’s debating it with herself.

‘I… I wanna go and speak to him so bad. I don’t know whether I wanna knock him out or give him a hug, but I just need to see him,’ she says distractedly, as though her thoughts are too loud for her to focus on her words, and the others look at her with incredulity. ‘You wanna hug him?’ Jeongin asks disbelievingly, voicing all of their thoughts, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. ‘You guys are all so quick to get angry at him. Do you never stop to wonder why he’s always high or drunk?’ she asks, sitting back down again, and everyone rolls their eyes.

‘Lia, it’s nice of you to be concerned about him, but I really wouldn’t try and think about him in a psychological way. He’s too far gone for our help now. I mean, it’s literally your wedding day, and he couldn’t stay sober,’ Ryujin says slowly, and Lia’s eyes widen. ‘But that’s what I’m trying to say! It’s my wedding day… and he couldn’t stay sober. Why has nobody stopped to think about that? What is hurting him so much that he couldn’t stay sober for his best friend’s wedding?’ Lia says slowly, her friends silent as her words sink in, and their anger is quickly replaced by panic and guilt.

‘y/n, has he… spoken to you at all? Mentioned anything to you? I know you two aren’t exactly… well, I don’t even know what you are, but he confides in you more than anyone else,’ Minho says gently, and the girl tries to quieten her concerns, thinking back to anything she should’ve noticed. ‘I can’t think of anything. I mean… there’s the usual stuff he’s talked about since high school – how he gets high to get rid of the pain – but nothing… out of the blue. Nothing bad enough to make him get high in the middle of Lia’s wedding,’ she says quietly, desperately wracking her brains but coming up empty-handed.

‘Maybe we should try and speak to him about it? Try and get him to talk?’ ‘He doesn’t talk, Lix. He won’t talk, to any of us. Except y/n,’ Chaeryeong says gently, all of them silent as they try to think. ‘Will you speak to him, y/n? I’m just worried now that Lia’s said that.’ ‘Trust me, Yuna, I’d love to speak to him, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get anything out of him. I was just with him and… he was horrible to me. Worse than he’s ever been before. I told him it isn’t a nice feeling to be sat in here with the seat next to me empty, and he said that maybe I should get a boyfriend, and it isn’t his fault that I’m single,’ she says quietly, all of them gasping in shock.

‘That’s it. I don’t give a fuck if he’s struggling or going through something difficult – that’s no excuse to be a dick.’ ‘Jisung, please, calm do-’ ‘No, Lia! How many nights has she stayed with him? How many episodes of his has she stuck by him through? How many times has she saved his damn life? Everything she’s ever done for him, and he thinks he can speak to her like that? It doesn’t run! I’m gonna kick his ass!’ Jisung says angrily, standing up, and all the others start panicking and stand up too, trying to get him to calm down. ‘Jisung, if you don’t sit your ass down and shut up, I’ll kick your ass,’ Lia hisses, all of them suddenly conscious of the stares they’re getting from the other wedding guests, and they all quickly sit back down.

‘You don’t get to choose how we deal with him. y/n does,’ Lia says calmly, all of their gazes turning to the girl in question, and she hesitates, taking a few moments to think about it. She wants nothing more than to see him get his due, for being such a dick to her for so long, but she loves him too much to abandon him, or hurt him, at a time when he could be hurting more than he ever has before.

‘We’ll carry on doing the shifts until he’s come down... and then, I’ll speak to him. Only when he’s sobered up. The next person to go out needs to take his drugs off him, if he has any – I don’t want him to take more while he’s coming down. I’ll bring him in after speaking to him,’ she says, telling them the best plan she can think of, and they all nod. ‘Okay, y/n. That’s what we’ll do. I’ll take the next shift,’ Chan says, the others volunteering themselves to look after him, and she feels herself zoning out, worrying about him again. ‘Hey, y/n. Stop stressing. We’re gonna look after him, okay? Team effort to… save Hyunjin,’ Felix says softly with a small smile, and the girl nods, convincing herself that they’ll be able to do it. That they can save Hyunjin.

‘My eyes must have been deceiving me all night, because I haven’t seen you step foot onto that dancefloor,’ Lia’s father says from where he’s appeared behind her seat, and she smiles up at him. ‘Hey, Mr Choi.’ ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he says, sliding into the empty seat beside her. ‘Why the sad face?’ ‘Oh, I’m not sad. I’m just… reminiscing. It feels like the end of an era,’ she says, glancing over at Lia and wondering when she grew up so much. Wondering when all of them grew up so much.

‘I’ve been thinking the same thing. I can’t help but wish the time hadn’t gone so quickly. I miss those old days. When you girls would play outside for hours each day, all summer long. It feels like just yesterday that me and the other parents waved you all goodbye on your first day of high school, and here we are. At Lia’s wedding,’ he says with a sad smile, both of them watching Lia dance with the biggest smile on her face, looking radiant in her beautiful dress. ‘It feels surreal.’ ‘I completely agree. These years have just flown by – it just feels wrong that you guys are getting married and settling down. Make sure you don’t get married for a long time, y/n. I’m not ready to see you get married yet,’ he says with a grin, the girl bursting into laughter.

‘I can’t wait too long. You’re starting to get old an-’ ‘You cheeky little-’ he exclaims, hitting the girl with a napkin. Lia’s old aunties shoot them dirty looks and they try to stifle their laughter, but it only makes everything funnier, the two of them giggling into their hands like little schoolkids. ‘You might be joking, but I’m afraid you’re right, y/n. We are getting old, so don’t wait too long. I think… in ten years should be fine,’ he says with a grin, her mouth falling open. ‘Ten years? I’ll be ancient by then!’ ‘Watch your mouth,’ he says warningly, an amused glint in his eyes.

‘If I’m being totally honest, I can see you getting married next. I think someone out there will have enough sense to put a ring on you soon,’ he says, trying to sound all mystical, but he makes it sound like a threat instead, and she can’t help but laugh. ‘No, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m destined to just be a bridesmaid for the rest of my life.’ ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous! You’ll find the right one. Maybe it’s that boyfriend of yours,’ he says tentatively, as though testing the waters, and when she remains silent, her smile slipping a little, he backtracks.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.’ ‘No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s… silly.’ ‘I don’t think things are ever silly with you and that boy, y/n. You two seem to have problems that are more serious than any other couple I know. And you’re not even married!’ ‘We’re not even together at all, Mr Choi. He called me single today,’ she says with a sad smile, and his mouth falls open. ‘Where is he?’ he says, clenching his hands into fists menacingly, and she laughs, shaking her head. ‘No, no, it’s okay. I’ll get over it,’ she says, but he’s distracted, looking around the room.

‘Okay, seriously… where is he? I haven’t seen him all night, and I can’t see him now. And this is supposed to be his seat, right?’ he asks, obviously picking up on how the table settings in front of the seat are untouched, how he’s the first person to have sat in that seat all night, and she nods reluctantly, the man shaking his head. ‘Where is he, y/n?’ ‘He’s been an idiot, and… we’re dealing with it,’ she says vaguely, and he raises an eyebrow.

The kids have managed to hide Hyunjin’s addiction from all of their parents for years. The parents have their suspicions, of course, but it’s never been confirmed to them, because they’ve never seen him do drugs. They’ve seen him whilst he’s high, without even realising – he’s pretty much himself when he’s high, just a little hyper or chill – so he’s managed to get away with his addiction for years.

Before Mr Choi can reply, Seungmin’s voice comes from behind them. ‘y/n. You’re up,’ he says gravely, and she takes a deep breath. ‘He’s definitely okay for me to talk to him?’ she asks, Seungmin nodding. ‘I’m sorry to leave you, Mr Choi, but I gotta…’ ‘Don’t worry about it. You have my phone number so call me if something happens. Okay?’ he says, obviously wanting to intervene but not wanting to overstep, and she nods with a small smile.

The walk to the car feels like it stretches over a lifetime, her nerves growing and her legs feeling weaker with each step. It’s past sunset now, but there’s still the warm glow of a beautiful dusk over the manor grounds, the cooling air making her shiver. When she approaches Seungmin’s car, she sees that Hyunjin is sat on the boot, looking towards the lake with a blank face. She feels relief flood through her when he turns his gaze towards her and his eyes aren’t red anymore. This is him sober, or as sober as he’s been in a long time. Lia wasn’t exaggerating when she said that he’s always high or drunk – he even showed up to the ceremony this morning with the faint scent of vodka on his lips.

Neither of them say anything as she joins him, settling beside him on the boot, making sure her dress isn’t touching the floor. ‘That dress really suits you. You look… amazing,’ he murmurs quietly, looking back at the lake. ‘Thanks. And you look handsome in your suit,’ she says softly, feeling her heart flutter a little when his lips quirk up at the corners and he turns his head away with embarrassment.

He’s dressed in a standard black tux with a white shirt underneath it, but the outfit’s simplicity doesn’t stop it from accentuating his lean and slim figure nicely, the colour setting off his honey skin. His soft black hair falls over his forehead into his eyes, and silver rings adorn his long fingers. The tie hanging from his neck is the same blue as her dress, and it reminds her of when they matched his tie and her dress at high school prom all those years ago, the memory bringing a fond smile to her face.

‘Thanks,’ he says quietly, and they fall back into silence. A sudden gust of wind blows, carrying the lilt of faint birdsong, and the trees lean from its force, their leaves brushing against each other. She shivers, bringing her arms around herself, hands clutching onto her own shoulders, and he instantly begins to shrug off his jacket, handing it to her without looking in her direction. She thanks him softly, taking the jacket and pulling it around herself, feeling the echo of his body warmth in its inner lining. He rarely wears any aftershave or cologne – his natural scent is more than enough to make him smell good – but the scent of the Dior spray she bought him for his last birthday fills her senses.

‘I’m really sorry,’ he says suddenly, eyes still on the lake, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘It’s not me you need to apologise to. It’s not my wedding – it’s Lia’s,’ she says gently, no anger in her voice at all. She can’t be angry at him when he’s all subdued like this. ‘I know, and I owe Lia an apology too. But… I’ve owed you an apology for a long time, y/n. For so many things.’ She doesn’t say anything, not quite sure what to say, and he takes her silence as a sign to continue, neither of them looking at each other.

‘I… I’m sorry I said to you that you should get a boyfriend. I shouldn’t have called you single – it was nasty, and it wasn’t true. I don’t really know what we are, but we are something,’ he says in a small voice, sounding earnest, and she just sighs. ‘Then… why did you say it? Why did you… want to be nasty to me?’ she asks shakily, tears welling up in her eyes again, and he’s completely silent, showing no sign of answering her question.

‘I don’t understand. Every time you do these things to me, all I can think is that I just don’t understand. I deserve better than you – that’s what you say – but no matter what you do, I still want you, and I don’t understand that either. Why do I keep coming back to you when you treat me like shit? I’m doing it right now. Look how you spoke to me earlier, and I’m sat out here with you instead of being with Lia on her wedding day. Why do I do this? And why do you do this to yourself? You run from the person you need the most. No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t know why you do it. But it has to stop, Hyunjin. It has to stop,’ she says tearily, sobs breaking up her words, and he feels his heart breaking as he listens to her.

He wordlessly moves closer to her, pulling her into his arms, and she rests her head on his chest, trying her best to calm herself down as he comforts her, running his hand over her hair soothingly. ‘I was good this morning. Yeah, I took a couple shots before I left the house, but they were just to give me energy after the pills I took last night. But I was good, I was happy,’ he begins, voice quiet, and she feels a glimmer of hope at the prospect that he’s finally gonna open up to her, tell her something of substance rather than the usually vague things he tells her (she wanted to slam her head into the wall that time he spent ages building up to a big confession for it to be ‘I stay high because I don’t like being sober’).

‘And then, after the ceremony, while you guys were taking bridesmaids pictures, I overheard your parents talking to Ryujin’s parents. They were talking about how happy they are for Lia, how beautiful she looks, and then the conversation changed to you,’ he continues, tears appearing in his eyes and the girl waits nervously for the rest of the story.

He relives the moment as he tells her about it. How he heard her name come up in the conversation, his heart skipping a beat just at the mention of her, and he started listening a little more eagerly. How he couldn’t help the smile on his face when they spoke about how beautiful she’ll look on her wedding day. How he felt like he’d had his heart ripped out when her father mentioned his worries about who his daughter will marry, and how he hopes it won’t be her ‘no-good deadbeat failure of a boyfriend’ because he feels – no, he knows – that ending up with Hyunjin will mean she’ll end up heartbroken.

She bursts into tears as soon as he finishes telling her, and he’s so endeared by her reaction that he can’t help but chuckle, holding her just a little closer as the tears spill down his face. ‘Hyunjin, why didn’t you just tell me?’ she asks quietly once the sobs have stopped forcing their way up her throat. She sits back up, their shoulders touching, and he intertwines his hand with hers, a sad smile on his face. ‘What was I supposed to say? ‘I overheard your dad talking about how much he hates me and my first good mood this entire year is ruined because of it’? That’s not exactly a great conversation to have at your best friend’s wedding.’ ‘Yeah, but it’s a better conversation to have than the one we’re having right now,’ she points out, and he chuckles, nodding in agreement.

‘I know this probably won’t change anything, but you should know that my dad’s opinion on you doesn’t matter to me-’ ‘But, y/n, it’s true. He’s right. I am a no-good deadbeat failure. My life is meaningless. I don’t bring anything to the table. I don’t contribute anything positive to your life, to anyone’s life. You probably would end up heartbroken if you married me. Which is why you can’t marry me. You can’t be with me, y/n. I know I say this all the time, but you do deserve better than someone like me. I wish I was more of a man, but I’m not. All I do is neglect you, and put myself above you,’ he says softly, and she just stares at him with such an intense mix of emotions – anger, sorrow, guilt, hurt, confusion, longing – that she doesn’t even know what to say.

‘But I love you,’ she whispers eventually, and he brushes back her hair with an affectionate smile. ‘And I love you too. More than I have ever loved anything. More than anyone has ever loved anything. You are my entire life, y/n. And that’s the problem. My life is you, drugs and alcohol. You have so much more in your life – you have such a potential for success – but being with me will only drag you down. It’s what I’m already doing to you – slowly dragging you down.’ ‘But Hyunjin, you have such a potential for success too! You could have so much fulfilment in your life. You could be so much more.’ ‘But I’m not, and I don’t think I ever will be. I don’t think I’ll ever get sober,’ he whispers hesitantly, fear in his eyes, and it’s so clear to her in that moment that he hates this. The thought of living like this for the rest of his life scares him, but he feels like there’s nothing he can do to change that.

She’s silent for a moment, debating whether or not she should say what she wants to say, but she throws caution to wind and decides to contradict everything she and their friends have been saying to him for years. ‘You don’t have to get sober,’ she says slowly, his eyes widening. ‘What?’ ‘I know I’ve been saying that you need to get sober, but I’ve been thinking about it, and… it’s like weight-loss,’ she says, the boy laughing. ‘Getting sober is like weight-loss?’ ‘Yeah! Think about it; if you go from eating junk food every day and never exercising, to never eating any junk food and working out for three hours every day, it’s just not gonna work. You have to do it slowly, you know? Make lifestyle changes instead. Slowly incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Learn healthier recipes and make better choices with food that you buy.’

He processes her words, holding back laughter at her metaphor, and asks, ‘So you’re saying… I need to just slowly start taking less drugs?’ ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying! We shouldn’t expect you to get sober overnight – it probably won’t work if we try to do it like that. But if you just start taking less and less, then it’ll be an easier process. And I don’t even expect you to get completely sober. A couple xans or a joint at a party, or even a couple lines wouldn’t kill you. That’s what the other boys do. It’s about moderation. It’s about not getting high again as soon as you feel yourself coming down,’ she says pointedly, and he lets out a sigh.

‘It sounds like a great idea, y/n, but… the drugs keep me alive. They might be slowly killing me, but they’re also keeping me alive. As soon as I feel myself coming down, it all comes back. The hurt, the trauma, the self-hatred, the loneliness and the crippling pain of my life. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but there’s something very wrong with me, because when I’m sober, I want to die. When I’m sober, I don’t have any reasons to live,’ he confides in a gentle voice, holding her hand tight, and her heart sinks at his admission. ‘Well… maybe I could give you some?’ she whispers, his lips curling up into a small smile, and he puts an arm around her, pulling her close and pressing his lips to her temple. ‘Maybe you could, angel. I should at least let you try. But I can’t promise it’ll work,’ he murmurs against her skin, and she feels her heart lift with hope. This is more than he’s ever let her try before.

‘Okay. We’ll start with trying to… fix you tomorrow,’ she says, and his eyes widen. ‘Tomorrow?’ ‘Yes, tomorrow. If we keep putting it off, we’ll never get around to it. Tonight, you can go inside, say hi to everyone and apologise for your… antics, and when all of Lia’s family have left, you can get high with the boys. Then, after we see Lia off on her honeymoon, we’re starting with… ‘Operation: Help Hyunjin’. Okay?’ she asks, and he nods with a small smile. ‘Okay.’ ‘Promise me you’ll try. If I show up to your house in the morning and you’re not there, like all those other times, I’m gonna be really upset. I love you, but I can’t put up with you running from me for much longer. So I want you to actually try this time.’

‘I promise I won’t run from you. And I promise I’ll try, for you.’ ‘No. It’s not for me – it’s for you. It’s for your happiness, your future. The motivation for this needs to be you. You owe it to yourself to live a better life. Nobody else but you.’ ‘Okay. I’ll promise I’ll try. For me,’ he smiles, tilting her head up to press a gentle kiss to her lips, making her heart flutter. He chuckles at the dazed look on her face, jumping down from the boot of the car. He puts two big hands on her waist and helps to lift her down, leading her back up to the wedding.

‘You look so cute in my jacket,’ he chuckles, and she instantly begins taking it off. ‘No, angel, it’s cold!’ ‘My dress is so pretty, though. I don’t wanna cover it up. And we’re going inside now anyway,’ she says, handing him his jacket back, and he pulls it on as his eyes trail up and down her body. ‘I guess the dress is pretty. Not as pretty as you, though,’ he murmurs, and she rolls her eyes, unable to hold back a giggle. ‘That was a terrible line.’ ‘Who says it was a line? The only lines I do are coke.’ ‘…Not funny, Jin.’ ‘Sorry.’

They walk towards the front door of the manor holding hands, their fingers interlaced, and Hyunjin spots a little flower bush a few feet away. ‘Hold on,’ he says, letting go of her hand and picking one of the flowers. They’re blush pink, the same colour as the corsage he bought her from prom, and he holds it up to her with a grin, a small smile on her face as he lifts up her hair to tuck it behind her ear. It might not match the dress, but he thinks she looks beautiful, and she’s so touched that he remembers such a small detail from so long ago. Pink peonies have been her favourite flowers since he bought her that corsage, because every time she sees one, she thinks of him.

‘You look perfect,’ he murmurs, pressing his lips to hers again, and she sighs gently into the kiss, his lips curling into a smirk as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer. ‘Wanna come back to mine tonight?’ he asks once they break apart, and she rolls her eyes. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. Your dad doesn’t want us to get married? Cool. He never said anything about us having a kid,’ he grins, and she laughs. ‘Very funny.’ ‘I’m kinda not kidding,’ he says with bright eyes, and her mouth falls open. ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yeah. I’ve always wanted a kid with you. They’ll be the most amazing kid on earth,’ he grins, the girl still not sure whether he’s joking or not, and she’s silent for a long few moments. ‘Fine, I’ll make you a deal. You get to some form of sobriety, and then I’ll get pregnant. How does that sound?’ she asks, and he lets out a whoop of joy, sweeping her up into his arms and spinning her, their laughter carrying in the wind. ‘Sounds perfect to me, y/n.’

The bridal march begins suddenly, the guests all falling quiet, and her bridesmaids make their way in one by one. Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong and Yuna all have genuinely happy smiles on their faces, wearing matching dresses the same colour as the blush pink peony bouquets that they all hold, bouquets designed by the bride herself. The flowers are a main point of decoration – no matter where you look in the room, you’ll see a pink peony within your peripheral vision.

Hyunjin feels anticipation building inside him, unable to keep the smile off his face when his son enters after the bridesmaids, throwing pink flower petals with a mischievous smile on his face. You’d think he’d resemble Hyunjin, and he does in a way, with his soft fluffy hair and handsome good looks, but when Hyunjin looks at him, all he can see is her. Their son got her beautiful eyes, her beautiful smile, her beautiful heart, and he couldn’t be happier about it.

She enters after their son, the entire room gasping at how beautiful she looks. Hyunjin feels his eyes fill with tears, not at her perfect dress or perfect hair and makeup, but her perfect smile, complete and utter happiness on her face. He desperately tries to blink back the tears, eyes flitting to her father beside her, their arms linked together. He looks a lot older than Hyunjin remembers, but looking around, he realises they all look a lot older than he remembers. It’s been a long and difficult few years for all of them, her most of all.

With each step she takes, he feels himself getting more and more emotional, in disbelief at how perfect she looks, how happy she looks. She reaches the end of the aisle and joins her fiancé at the altar, handing her bouquet to her bridesmaids and taking Jisung’s hands into her own, the boy smiling unbelievably widely. He looks like the happiest man in the world.

Hyunjin watches, from right behind Jisung, as the love of his life marries his best friend, the smiles not leaving their faces for a single moment. Despite the hurt, the jealousy, the longing he feels for her, he also feels happy for her, and grateful towards Jisung. Grateful to him for being the boyfriend that Hyunjin could never be, and being the father that Hyunjin could never be. And as they kiss, sealing their promise of love, and Hyunjin’s son runs up to his mother and the man that he thinks is his father, the three of them making the happiest family on earth, Hyunjin feels paralysing regret fill him.

Regret about the drugs. Regret about the alcohol. Regret that he couldn’t prove anyone wrong. Regret about the fact that he hurt her, and ran from her, when she’s the one that he needs the most, the one he’s always needed the most. Regret that he couldn’t be more of a man. Regret that he couldn’t get sober, not for her, or their son, or even for himself.

Once the ceremony’s over, and the happy couple are taking their photos in the gardens, the guests watching on with affectionate smiles, Hyunjin’s friends gather around him, giving him brief hugs or squeezing his hand comfortingly, and he’s not sure whether it’s making him feel better or worse. The photographer calls for a picture of the happy couple with the best man, and his eyes meet with hers, a small smile on her face as he heads towards the two of them.

‘Your flower’s about to fall off,’ Jisung points out when Hyunjin joins them, and without a moment of hesitation, she lifts her hands to his lapel to fix it. ‘It’s like prom all over again – me fucking up my flower, and you spending most of the night fixing it,’ Hyunjin jokes, the girl laughing while she re-pins his pink peony boutonniere, and Jisung feels a pang of pain in his heart as he watches them. They look like they should be the bride and groom – the way she fixes his flower with the softest hands and the utmost care, the way he gazes at her with nothing but love in his eyes, the two of them laughing quietly – and even though Jisung understood his reference, he still feels left out, as though he’s the third wheel intruding on an inside joke.

They get into position for the photo, Jisung on her right and Hyunjin on her left, both of them with an arm around the bride, and she holds her bouquet, the three of them smiling in the sunlight as though they’re the happiest people in the world. Hyunjin looks like the proud best friend, successfully hiding his jealousy of Jisung and his love for her. Jisung looks like the elated groom, successfully hiding his jealousy of Hyunjin and his longing to feel her love the way his best friend always has and always will. And she looks like the picture of the bride glowing with happiness, successfully hiding her yearning for the reversal of the boys’ roles, her desire for Jisung to be the proud best friend and Hyunjin to be the elated groom. The three of them are so tragic and they don’t even know it, don’t even know the truth about each other’s desires.

Their son comes running over, wanting to get into the picture, and it’s like he knows the truth because he decides to stand between the bride and the best man rather than the bride and the groom. She feels panic fill her, not sure whether or not she should move her son, but the photographer begins taking pictures before any of them can act.

It’s almost as though the photographer’s worked them out, like he can see right through the three of them and their lies, because he suggests taking photos of the best man and the happy couple’s son, the three of them exchanging a glance before the bride and groom move away. Hyunjin lifts his son into his arms, the boy completely oblivious to Hyunjin’s inner turmoil, and he just wraps his arms around the man that he knows as his uncle, smiling widely for the camera.

The bride watches them from behind the photographer, and it’s only when Jisung walks away wordlessly that she registers the loving smile on her face which falters quickly. ‘y/n,’ the girl hears, and she tears her eyes away from Jisung’s retreating back, turning to look at Hyunjin’s mother, and the guilt fades away into excitement. ‘Mrs Hwang! Thank you so much for coming!’ the bride exclaims, throwing her arms around the woman she holds dear in her heart. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. You look so beautiful. I’m so happy for you,’ she says, holding the girl tight, and once they break apart, their eyes both wander to Hyunjin and his son, posing for pictures.

‘I’ve just noticed, y/n, how much your son looks like my son,’ Mrs Hwang murmurs, the bride silent for a moment as she watches her boys laugh together, the photographer capturing the moment. ‘I personally think he gets his looks from me. His personality is all Hyunjin, though,’ she says mildly, Mrs Hwang giving the girl a sad smile. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really thought he’d get his act together.’ ‘So did I, Mrs Hwang. But it’s okay. Jisung makes me happy.’ ‘I’m glad. You deserve to be happy,’ she says wistfully, the two of them still watching their boys laughing together. ‘Come and visit me soon, y/n. And bring your son. I’d quite like to meet him again, knowing what I know,’ Mrs Hwang says quietly, the bride nodding with a smile, holding the tears back.

Hyunjin notices his mother walking away from the bride, and he feels hope in his heart when his eyes lock with those of the girl that he loves, and he sees love reflected back at him, a sad smile on her face. Does she still love him? Is she wishing that she’d married him instead of his best friend? Is she wondering what her life would be like if they were the newly-weds, and their son knew the truth about his father?

But the moment is fleeting, because the sadness disappears from her smile, making him question whether it was even there in the first place, and her loving eyes are on her son instead, not Hyunjin. And suddenly, the realisation hits him. The realisation that she doesn’t love him. That she loves Jisung. And he can never call her his again. And in the few moments before his world comes crashing down, he feels the familiar itch in his fingers, the desperation to reach into his pocket and pull out the little plastic packet, full of the stuff that pushes his pain away.

So he holds it together for the last few photos before heading off towards his car with the tears in his eyes blurring the path in front of him, his absence almost entirely unnoticed in all the excitement. But she watches him with their son in her arms, feeling the crack in her heart grow with each step he takes, wishing with all her might that she could go running after him, get into his car with him so he can drive the three of them away to their own little world of happiness. And Jisung watches her, the longing and love in her eyes so clear as she watches his best friend, and he knows in that moment that his hopes that she’ll one day love him as much as she loves Hyunjin are delusional, that he’s signed his life over to being second best in the eyes of the person he loves more than anyone in the world.

Maybe the three of them are truly happy in another world, but certainly not in this one.

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

Brothers with Mc Who Has PGAD (Pt 1 of ?)

This is going to be different then my other headcanons. I tried doing them like usual, but it didn't sit well with me. This is only like the first two chapters?? Idk how to explain it. It's hard to show the issues with PGAD in a relationship without just rehashing my chronic pain ask. I might be a bit rusty because I'm playing off and on right now, so please forgive if anyone is OOC.

Also, I want to state that this is NOT a representation of everyone who has PGAD. I couldn't possibly fit all the symptoms, feelings, and causes in here without contradicting myself. There are many causes in the female sex though (Deposits built on the clitoris, slipped disc, hormonal imbalances, pregnancy, misfiring signals from the brain/nerve, ext). I have a fucked up nerve somewhere along the line. I'm a rare case of a rare disorder where I was born with it and haven't experienced a day without PGAD. These are only how I expect someone with my exact symptoms would react, and how the brothers would react to that. Also! If you have PGAD, and don't know ways to help out, I'll give you some tips. Just hmu baby 💞.

Warning! Sensitive Content!

Coming to the Devildom is just as you'd expect it to be, it's literal hell.

You're stressed, like, majorly so. You don't have your medications on you, you've been seperated from your phone, and these demons are telling you you'll have to stay in their realm for a year, doctor's visits be damned.

The emotional connection between your pain and your reactions is rising by the second. It's clear on your face, and most probably by the way you dig your nails into the palms of your hands, attempting to draw your attention away from the growing burning sensation.

You don't feel comfortable being set up in a strange house with seven strange demons. They're rowdy and rude and it just sets you on edge to the point that you're very near jumping everytime one of them speaks to you.

They don't speak to you often, thankfully. If you refuse to engage with them, they're fine with keeping their distance. Sometimes you'll hear something from Mammon, your appointed guide, and the blonde seems to enjoy commenting on what books you're reading, but that's about it.

But then you're expected to go to school, five days a week, whilst fulfilling a stupid task list everyday, and all that pressure really weighs on you before it's even begun.

You can't sit down for eight hours, let alone sit on a hard surface in such a toxic that is highschool without being put out of commission for a few days. This will really mess with their whole plan, and you doubt you'll get cut any slack if you don't actually let at least one of the council members in on your condition.

It shouldn't have to be that way. You shouldn't have to justify your state of wellbeing to people you've barely known for two days, but the only way out of here is by playing the game, so you target the eldest brother.

You explain to Lucifer your condition. It's very professional, straight-forward, and he doesn't ask many questions besides the obvious.

The two of you eventually come to a pretty decent arrangement. On the days when you're in too much pain to handle things, you can stay home, and do whatever you can to catch up. It's not exactly the best option, considering you have different teachers online and in person, but it works for the most part.

He does require you to do some studying with the third eldest though. Leviathan, you learn, is a shut-in. Most his schooling is online, and since you're situation tends to make you miss many days of school, Lucifer wants him to help you out.

The two of you don't exactly get along at first. Leviathan is the type to work alone, and he's not the best at explaining. So during the first two days, you kinda flounder from paper to paper, task to task. It's just more stress on your plate. You snap at him when he gets impatient with you, and he'll return the gesture with some mumbled insults.

Eventually the two of you get to a state where you can at least work together without arguing over something small, but he's still a little annoying to you.

Satan kinda steps up here too. He knows Levi isn't really the best at explaining things that aren't dipped in a convoluted storyline, so he tries to help out when he sees you in the library, often searching for information for your assignments.

And Satan is incredibly patient. Even without knowing of your condition, and that's kinda the support you need. Learning with PGAD is hard, because any sort of frustration just puts you in pain. He doesn't get offended if you snap, or if you're a bit stubborn because of this. Something about him recognizes that desperation in your eyes; the want to do things, but he just knows there's something holding you back. He's not sure what, and he doesn't ask out of respect for whatever you must be dealing with (Which is such a breath of fresh air).

Mammon, on the other hand, isn't as graceful in his approach. He doesn't really pick up on your vibes and that proves to be a bit unfortunate when you're having a hard time translating your feelings.

He takes most things you say a little too personal, despite also having a tendency to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

You two get on each other's nerves pretty equally. The stress that results makes being in his presence a bit difficult.

But no one makes your life worse then Asmodeus.

Sure, he's sweet. He probably picks up on the fact that you take baths as often as he does and gives you some fancy soaps/stuffs, but he's a little too touchy.

And a bit too sexual.

You try to distance yourself from him, and it has mixed results depending on how persistent Asmodeus is feeling that day.

The only one who you don't interact with much is Beel, and that's kind of a blessing in disguise. You're hardly a few days into your residency in the Devildom and you're already struggling to keep up with school and the brothers (as well as the voice coming from the attic...but you try to push that and Lucifer's threats to the back of your mind.)

Things only get worse when you make your pact with Mammon. In fact, the only good thing that really comes out of it is that you are able to help out Leviathan. Everything else feels like a shitstorm.

There was the expected teasing. The "Mammon was dumb enough to get played by a human" bit that really got old after the first time and a few offers to make some more pacts from lesser demons at school (which you always turned down). All the attention made your day stressful as fuck. You could hardly think without feeling strongly in some sort of way, and having a stabbing pain zeroing in on your pelvis.

And to your suprise, he can totally feel it.

(Personally I like to believe pacts go a bit deeper then the 'oh I can make you do things'. I feel it should be considered more, given how much power is given to them, and how often it's stated that the guys don't just give them out. If they were just about control, I have no doubt Mammon would have probably used it in a moment of desperation. In fact, it's kinda out of character that he hasn't at least made the mistake ONCE, so I headcanons there is a emotional/physical bond that comes with it.)

It's not completely there. He doesn't get all the pain and strife you do, but there's enough for him to kinda put the pieces together. He's not delicate in approaching you about it, however he thankfully does pull you aside after dinner, saving you the embarrassment of talking about genitals at the dinner table.

You explain to him what exactly PGAD is. That your body is feeling a sexual desire, but you mind isn't. So, instead of being pleasurable, it's painful.

He's not exactly sure what you're saying, but he becomes a lot more protective over you from now on.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

An Ex Fuck Boy, Three Himbos, A Tik Toker, An Exasperated Mom Friend, A Cat Lady And A Tired Old Man Walk In To A Polish Deli, Chapter 1

surprise i have another fic!! co authored by the one and only @toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian :))

___

ship: geralt/jaskier and aiden/lambert but focused on the geraskier. others to come

genre: mutual pining and all the fluff and angst that comes with it

warnings: they're all dense. geralt has severe arthritis. probably incorrect polish swear words.

editing: maybe

words: this chapter was like uhh almost 5k

___

“Lambert if you bring one more fucking rugalagh to that man I’m going to drown you in the borscht.”

Lambert, who had tried (and failed) to sneak in the kitchen door of the Kaer Morhen Polish Deli without anyone noticing, flipped Eskel off before walking over to the oven. So what if he had been visiting the owner of the cute pet store upstairs? He was still getting his work done.

“Seriously Lambert. Just because you’re in love with Aiden doesn’t mean you can give him free shit.” Geralt said from where he was chopping onions for the pierogies. He had already chopped seven and hadn’t cried once. The fucking bastard. “He can come down here and pay for it himself like everyone else.”

“I’m not in love with him. He’s just a friend.” This had been a daily argument every day since Aiden had started renting the street level storefront from Vesemir two years ago for his pet store, Kittens & Things. “And straight. I’m straight. We’re both straight. Spierdalaj. ” Lambert waved his hands around in a very not-straight fashion.

“Yeah and I’m the Queen of England.” Eskel dodged the balled up dish cloth that Lambert threw at his head. Seriously though, what was that kid trying to pull? He’d seen circles straighter than his younger brother.

“He also has a pride pin.” Geralt picked up the cloth from where it had landed next to him. “Don’t throw shit, I’m making the pierogies.”

“You’re not making shit . You’re chopping onions .”

“Last I checked there’s onions in pierogies.”

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t make them dupek .” Lambert rolled his eyes. His specialty at the deli were the desserts, the pierogies were Geralt’s domain and had been since he was 20.

“Shut it or I’ll put you on potato peeling duty again.” Geralt reached for another onion from the pile.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Lambert scowled the rugelach dough he was rolling out. “Do you want a repeat of the great onion war of 2006?”

“If there’s a repeat of that ever again you both will be doing nothing but peeling potatoes for weeks.” Vesemir walked in from the front where he had been finishing cleaning the tables and chairs. “I am not picking out onions from the ceiling again.”

“But-”

“Hush up and get to work Lambert,” Vesemir interrupted. It was far too early for Lambert’s antics. “We open in just over an hour.”

read the rest on ao3

___

eeeeeee im so excited about this one guys!!

tag list: (hmu if you want on!!)

@percy-jackson-is-sexy-

@barlowarts

@eminasan

@llamasdumpsterfire

@stinastar

@nonegenderleftpain

@electricrituals

@geekymagicalpotato

@jaskierswolf

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I would like to call shenanigans about the complaints of Phineas being "out-of-character" in the specials and movies. He's a kid! And human! It makes his character more interesting and three-dimensional! He's allowed to be sad or mad when he's out of his comfort zone! I mean, everyone else is allowed to have a wide range of emotions, and it makes it all the more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I’m about to get real salty for a second (not at the show tho I’m getting salty at people who get salty at the show) so here’s a cut 

Nothing annoys me more than people who think Phineas had no reason to get upset in at2d. Literally one of the last things 2D Doof said to him before Perry revealed that he was a secret agent was, and I quote, “You really think that he’s your pet, don’t you? WRONG! He’s using you! He’s just your cover!” Of course he was going to internalize that!

And that’s not just speculation, either. As soon as they get a moment to talk without the constant fear of, you know, getting arrested by an evil dictator’s robots, Phineas straight up asks him, “Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover for you? Were you ever really our pet, or part of our family?” AND THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BREAK MY HEART BY FOLLOWING THAT UP WITH “Well, apparently not, because you didn’t trust us enough to tell us!” Like? 2D Doof’s words overshadowed the entire reveal. Of course that was going to impact how Phineas reacted to it, and it blows my mind that people think he should have just accepted it with a smile like nothing happened. 

And that’s not even getting into the fact that Perry got them into that mess in the first place. I don’t even think I can say it better than Phineas so I’m gonna use another quote from the movie because I am apparently writing an actual angry essay right now with evidence from the text movie lmao. When they’re still at DEI and Heinz clarifies that he’s an evil scientist, Phineas turns on Perry and says, “You just sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?” (With, of course, the caveat that yes, Perry peed on the couch, but “That wasn’t enough!”)

~~ taking a brief break from angry ranting in the middle of the night to add that I definitely don’t think Perry was in the wrong here. I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about at2d because a) I’ve seen it so many times and practically have it memorized (thus why I threw in all these quotes off the top of my head lol) and b) I’m writing a fic where Perry can talk (it’s Bitch Shut The Fuck Up on Wattpad and AO3 if anyone’s in the mood for sassy, swearing Perry) and I’m going to start incorporating episodes once summer starts in the fic so I lowkey spent most of my nights in bed thinking about what Perry’s going to say and how it would change things if he could explain himself and would he even try to or would he let the kids think he betrayed them if he thought it would keep them safe so anyways I have a lot of feelings but tl:dr Phineas has ever reason to be upset and I don’t blame him and neither should you ~~

And then, of course, there’s the Marvel crossover and, like, he was right? He was 100% right? Candace was too star struck to help, and it was too important for them to take any risks. And you make a really good point with your comment about being out of his comfort zone. I don’t think there’s ever a time that Phineas is more out of his league than in the Marvel crossover. He really is just a kid, and he only got roped into this because he just happened to put his space station in the wrong place at the wrong time and the Avengers made the wrong assumptions. The fate of the entire world depended on them, and when Candace repeatedly messed things up, Phineas had every right to be upset -- and the fact that he was undoubtedly really stressed out because, again, the fate of the entire world, only gives him more of a reason to snap. It’s not out of character; his character had just never dealt with anything like that before.

I mean, of course, there’s Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, which I think was a more mild example of Phineas getting angry, but it’s similar enough to the Marvel crossover that I feel like I need to bring it up, if only to point out the differences. In the Marvel crossover, the world was actively being threatened by a group of actual supervillains. In PnF Save Summer, technically LOVEMUFFIN is also threatening the safety of the world by trying to plunge it into an eternal ice age, but Phineas doesn’t know that which is half the fun of the episode. Like, they don’t know why they can’t move the planet back into place, just like LOVEMUFFIN doesn’t know why they can’t move it further away.

That’s not really the point here, though; that’s just me having unnecessary opinions on everything. I don’t really view this one as Phineas snapping, but Buford does make that joke about how it must be a special episode because Phineas is yelling at his sister again so I’m guessing there are probably people who think it’s ooc which means naturally I gotta bring it up (and, of course, I wanted to reference the meta joke because I love it). 

Phineas built those thrusters. He knows how they work better than probably anyone but Ferb. When Candace says she’s going to overwork them, of course Phineas is going to tell her not to, and he’s going to be urgent about it, but he doesn’t yell. And when Candace accidentally ruins the thrusters, Phineas doesn’t yell at her then, either; he just tells her how to fix it (and, when she’s too scared to go into the attic, his hologram is there to cheer her on). It’s just? So? Wholesome? And “wholesome” is basically Phineas’s entire character, so that fits really well.

And the only other one I can think of off the top of my head is Summer Belongs To You (and it’s entirely possible he’s supposedly “out of character’ in other specials too but it’s 11:20 at night and my brain is fried lmao). “Get on the trike!” is literally one the most iconic lines in the show. Even Dan said it’s one of his favorites because it wasn’t necessarily a funny line, it was funny because it was Phineas saying it, and the fact that so many people remembered it was that it seemed so out-of-place coming from Phineas, which meant they had developed the character well (and if anyone happens to have the video -- I think it might have been an old tiktok but there have been way too many for me to look through -- hmu bc it was such a pure moment). But tbh even though the yelling was “out of character” in the sense that it made for a good joke, I don’t think his actions were out of character at all? Phineas sets crazy goals all the time, and he always achieves them. They’d put so much work into it so far, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste when the end game was right there. He was exhausted, presumably both physically and mentally (I mean, we didn’t see him sleep at all, you know?) and he wanted to get home and he wanted to accomplish his goal and he wanted to do it as a family (because 🎵 friends are also family 🎵) and he wasn’t going to let Candace ruin that, which I personally think is adorable because technically Candace was never even part of the bet and she didn’t have to make it home with them for them to win so Phineas easily could have ditched her and made her find her own way home but he wanted her to see it through with them and I just have a lot of feelings 😭

OKAY last paragraph because I know no one really cares and it’s getting late and I have an 8:30 class tomorrow and should probably be in bed by now. I also like the point you made about how that makes it more satisfying when he  manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self. I don’t know if anyone considers it out of character given that it’s really supposed to be a powerful moment purely because it’s so out of the ordinary (although I guess I could say the same for all these scenes) but god, when Phineas breaks down on the island in Summer Belongs To You, it’s such a testament to his character because he had managed to push through so much because he was determined to get home but it also proves that he does have a breaking point. I mean, we see it in all the other scenes, too, but those are directed at people. This is purely situational, which I think hits harder and it’s why that was the first one I thought of when you mentioned pushing through. All these scenes are a testament to his character, really, and basically the moral of the story is that I completely agree with you, Phineas deserves to have his character explored as much as Candace and Heinz have theirs explored, and that I clearly have way too many opinions and should really learn to tone it down fjksdhfjka

[jiggyloveshockey]

Last night was the last straw. I just cancelled my yearly NHL subscription:

To whomever this may concern, I know sending this message is probably pointless but I'm sending it anyway. After the events of last night, I have decided to no longer subscribe to NHL.TV in the upcoming season. I love the sport of hockey but your continued disregard of issues like Black Lives Matter as well as the rampant racism, sexism and homophobia in your sport and the league's hypocritical assurance that deep down you actually do care about these issues when you guys clearly could not give less of a shit, has gotten to me at last. I'm a European fan and I stayed up until 5 in the morning to watch games. I was Devoted with a capital D. But you guys make it incredibly hard to ignore that as a woman (and a person with a basic understanding of things like "empathy" or "solidarity") I don't really have a place at your table. Congratulations, you lost another one! By continuing to cater to your white, old, straight, male fanbase you completely miss out on staying relevant. Which is why I doubt that the NHL will still exist in 50 years, but hey, that's just me. Anyways, we are done. It's not me, it's you. Please don't call. Bye.

Anyways, if you know any good illegal streams, hmu!

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

Lilly what if I want to see All of them. what then, huh? but uhhh rose, empaths, and allergy2?

CJ literally just hmu and I'll send you the google docs links..... literally any time, i have no impulse control. But for now, I love you, have some snippets!

From Rose sickfic, aka rose:

Rose plans to tell Bobby a quick goodbye and then make it out the door before he can question her rough voice and red nose. But when she knocks on his bedroom door, there’s no answer. When she sticks her head in, the room is empty, the bed made. And even though her nose is running again (she should’ve brought tissues from the bedroom, but just getting dressed had taken more effort and concentration than she really had the energy for), there’s no chance at avoiding Bobby altogether when she walks into the kitchen to make herself some much-needed tea and finds him sitting at the table, flipping through an old copy of Rolling Stone and eating garbanzo beans straight from the can.

Rose pauses in the doorway, drags her sleeve under her nose to try to make herself a little more presentable, and says, “Morning, niño.”

Bobby looks up, chopsticks raised halfway to his mouth, and gives her a tiny, apologetic smile. “I was hungry.”

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Rose says gently. She has to be careful sometimes, being outwardly proud when Bobby does simple things like choosing to eat or sleeping more than four or five hours a night. If she calls too much attention to it, he gets all cagey and embarrassed, but if she ignores it entirely, he’ll stop doing it just to prove a point.

He ducks his head, takes another bite, and Rose lets herself relax.

From i check you like a mirror (bobbyalex emotional telepathy), aka empaths-- cowrite with @sunsetcurvecuddles:

Alex is doing his Biology reading when he feels it: the gnawing pit forming in his stomach; the first hints of Bobby’s loneliness.

It makes Alex tighten his grip around his pencil, makes him lose his place on the page of his textbook twice. If he were meaner or stupider than he is, he could easily pretend it were his own feeling, his own frustration at being alone in his bedroom doing homework on a Saturday night while his sister and her boyfriend make out on the living room couch and his parents gossip with their church friends about what a disappointment he is.

But he’s used to that. It doesn’t sit so heavy and bitter in his chest as it used to. This loneliness, this emptiness, is too fresh, too raw to be his own.

It drives Alex crazy.

From Luke Hides a Cat, aka allergy2:

This time, they barely make it through the first verse before Bobby’s twisting around again, bringing his elbow up to his face. He sneezes once, twice, three times, and then scrubs at his nose with an annoyed groan. “Fuck, sorry, guys.”

“Maybe we should take a break,” Alex says.

Reggie obediently switches his amp off. “Yeah, Bobby, you okay, man?”

Bobby grunts, putting his guitar down and rubbing his nose on his sleeve. “Yeah, sorry, just… allergies are bothering me, I don’t know what it is.”

Luke swallows nervously, avoiding Alex’s gaze. “Could be dust?” he offers helpfully.

“But we just cleaned in here,” Bobby grumbles.

“Pollen?” Reggie tries.

“No, then I’d be a mess too,” Alex points out. Luke can feel Alex’s eyes on him like laser beams as he says pointedly, “Only other thing you’re allergic to is cats, right, Bobby?”

Luke flinches. Is he that transparent? He raises guilty eyes, a shitty excuse and half-baked apology on his tongue, but instead of calling him out, Bobby just shrugs and says, “Yeah, I don’t know. Must just be something in the air. I’m fine, let’s try again.”

Ask me about my wips!

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[georgiafm]

            big  boobs  ?  what  ??  ummm,  chile,  anyway...  soo.  hey  angels  !  xD  fun  fact  ?  positions  has  been  on  repeat  for  like  4  days  straight  <3  i’m  c / cely  (  she  +  her  ),  whatever  floats  ur  boat,  i’m  a  23  yr  old  from  the  eastern  tz  who’s  110%  struggling  to  adult  properly,  and  i’m  rlly  not  all  tht  interesting,  so  let’s  move  on  to  The  real  star  here

p.s.  i  promise  i’ll  try  but  9/10  i  am  terrible  at  ims  😔  so  feel  free  to  hmu  on  the  disco  @simp 4 shawn 5ever#1305

chicago’s  very  own  georgia  ‘gigi’  madigan  has  been  spotted  on  madison  avenue  ,  with  a  striking  semblance  to  madelyn  cline  !  you  may  know  them  as  @gigipuffs  or  hitting  the  front  page  of  tmz  as  shamed  child  star  gigi  goes  gaga  on  pedestrian  on  broadway  street  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  twenty-third  birthday  bash  .  your  chance  of  surviving  new  york  is  uncertain  because  you’re  irascible  ,  but  being  congenial  might  help  you  .  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  head  held  high  despite  the  sooty  markings  of  a  dirty  neck  ,  deafening  music  blaring  from  a  convertible  speeding  down  residential  streets  ,  cherry  chapstick  on  a  pouting  mouth  .  (  cisfemale  +  she/her    )

stats.

full  name  :  georgia  stormy  madigan.

nickname(s)  :  gigi.

birthdate  :  sometime  in  october  during  ‘97.  

zodiac  :   libra. 

sexuality  :  bisexual / biromantic.

hometown  :  born  in  dallas,  texas  but  moved  to  chicago  at  age  5  when  her  mother  remarried,  then  eventually,  nyc  at  16  after  her  step-father  received  a  huge  job  offer.

father  :  sullivan  “sully”  madigan--  retired  soccer  player  &  hall  of  famer.  now,  currently  lives  in  honolulu,  hawaii.  gigi’s  best  friend.  she  goes  to  him  often  to  either  whine  about  her  family,  or  laze  in  the  sun.  leads  a  normal,  modest  life  with  a  new  family.  mellow  &  altruistic. 

mother  :  gwendolyn  mayfair--  talk  show  co-host  (  the  view  reimagined  ).  was  miss  texas  in  ‘84,  then  miss  america  in  ‘86.  ambitious,  but  superficial  &  overbearing.

step-father  :  michael  mayfair--  sports  commentator.  basically,  sukie’s  second  father  as  he  married  gwendolyn  while  gigi  was  still  young,  therefore,  was  instrumental  in  raising  her.  was  once  sully’s  biggest  fan,  then  stole  sully’s  wife.  funny,  but  flighty  &  unreliable.

siblings  :  riley  mayfair--  half-sister.  4  years  old.  if  it  was  still  a  thing,  you’d  without  a  doubt  catch  her  on  a  toddlers  &  tiaras  episode.  keith  madigan--  brother.  27  years  old.  currently  serving  life  in  prison  for  3  counts  of  manslaughter.  a  painful  detail  the  family  doesn’t  talk  about.  it  always  makes  gwendolyn  cry.  it  makes  georgia’s  blood  boil.

occupation  :  host  of  one  of  the  most  popular  podcasts  in  america.

traits  :  -  irascible,  sardonic,  skeptical,  flippant,  scatterbrained,  tactless,  insubordinate.      +  congenial,  benevolent,  resilient,  individualistic,  waggish,  uninhibited,  candid.

character  inspo  :  pinterest.  viola  hastings  (  she’s  the  man  ),  maeve  wiley  (  sex  education  ),  miley  cyrus / ashley  o  (  black  mirror  ),  alyssa  (  end  of  the  fucking  world  ).

* 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞  :  georgia  madigan’s  most  scandalous  articles

sully  madigan’s  problem  child  throws  tantrum  on  set.

“  i  know  madigan.  nice  guy.  but  that  daughter  of  his  is  out  of  control  !  ”  director  leopold  lincoln  recounts  georgia  madigan’s  horrific  attitude.

racy  photos  of  nearly  nude  georgia  madigan  leaked  !

mental  breakdown  ?  georgia  madigan  attacks  paparazzi  !

meltdown  madigan  at  it  again  !  georgia’s  meltdown  with  boyfriend  caught  on  tape  !

disney  axes  contract  with  georgia  madigan.  is  this  the  end  for  the  child  star ?

ex  disney  star’s  fall  from  grace  *  tmz  image  of  a  19  year  old  georgia  on  her  hands  &  knees  vomiting  outside  of  a  nightclub  * 

why  no  one  in  hollywood  wants  to  work  with  georgia  madigan.

* 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭   𝐢.

when  gwendolyn  first  learned  she  was  with  child,  she  was  ecstatic.  she  prayed  &  prayed  for  a  girl.  she  daydreamed  often  about  what  it  would  be  like  having  a  mini  her;  pictured  her  in  pageants  (  dominating  the  competition  if  she  was  anything  like  mommy  ),  in  ballet,  getting  their  nails  &  hair  done  together  like  close  mommies  &  daughters  do.  

when  she  found  out  she  was  having  a  boy,  she  begrudgingly  accepted  it  as  her  fate,  but  vowed  to  try  again,  already  planning  her  next  pregnancy  while  still  pregnant  with  her  first;  a  child  she'd  name  keith,  &...  she  liked  him  okay.  the  first  born  always  occupies  a  special  place  in  the  heart;  but  she  wanted  a  girl.  keith  would  grow  up  knowing  a  subtle  kind  of  rejection.  the  second  time  gwendolyn  learned  she  was  with  child,  she  was  over  the  moon.  this  time  she  knew  it'd  be  a  girl--  a  psychic  had  told  her  so.  she  didn't  listen  to  anything  else  the  psychic  had  to  say.

* 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭   𝐢𝐢.

georgia  was  her  mother's  perfect  little  doll...  until  she  wasn't.  but  until  then,  she  dressed  her  up,  ensuring  she  only  adorned  pastels,  bought  her  lots  &  lots  of  barbies--  replacing  the  ones  that'd  turn  up  with  their  heads  missing  with  dozens  more--  forced  her  into  hosiery  &  leotards  while  the  child  cried  &  cried  &  cried,  smiled  through  the  embarrassment  when  she'd  sabotage  her  own  performances  at  pageants,  smiled  in  polite  agony,  face  colored  crimson,  when  she'd  pick  georgia  up  from  school  with  her  dresses  covered  in  dirt,  pigtails  lopsided  &  drooping  sadly.  this  wasn't  what  she  pictured  having  a  daughter  would  be  like.  

but  instead  of  letting  up,  letting  georgia  explore  her  own  interests,  she  pressed  on.  her  sights  eventually  set  on  the  silver  screen.  by  6,  georgia  was  crying  on  disney  sets.  by  10,  she  had  no  more  tears  left  to  cry;  &  what  would  be  the  use  anyway  ?  they  never  worked.  by  15,  georgia  was  acting  out  in  a  very  different  way.  her  father  was  gone,  driven  away  across  the  country  &  an  ocean  by  gwendolyn,  her  step-father  mostly  looked  the  other  way,  complicit,  her  brother,  in  prison--  gwendolyn’s  biggest  disappointment  &  heartache.  georgia  was  alone.

* 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭   𝐢𝐢𝐢.

by  16,  georgia  had  been  dropped  by  disney,  &  a  deep  depression  would  befall  her.  when  she  was  younger,  friday  night  lights  used  to  glint  off  of  warm  starry  eyes.  her  father  &  step-father  would  take  her  to  all  the  games  &  teach  her  all  the  happenings  on  the  field  until  they  made  up  their  own  little  game  of  guessing  plays--  up  until  there  came  a  time  when  georgia  would  always  emerge  victorious.  she  dreamed  of  following  in  her  father’s  footsteps  when  she  was  young,  but  now,  it  was  too  late.  her  youth  had  been  wasted,  &  she  felt  utterly  drained.  she  used  to  think  she  had  all  the  time  in  the  world,  but  adulthood  was  rapidly  approaching,  &  all  she  could  do  was  lament  over  all  that  wasted  time.

she  eventually  dug  herself  out,  some  time  an  ocean  away  from  her  mother  doing  her  good,  but  when  she  returned  home,  gwendolyn  had  replaced  her.  this  time,  this  baby  would  be  a  mini  her.  like  her  brother,  georgia  would  come  to  know  a  subtle  kind  of  rejection.

generally  easygoing  &  big-hearted,  over  the  years,  georgia’s  earned  a  bad  reputation  she’s  undeserving  of.  while  she  has  difficulty  controlling  spurs  of  anger,  said  anger  is  never  without  reason,  it’s  simply  exacerbated.  she  doesn’t  take  too  kindly  to  aggressive  authority  figures  or  injustice.  after  she  established  a  podcast  on  youtube  &  spotify  when  she  was  20,  however  (  the  subject  matter  is  some  of  everything;  football,  soccer,  pop  culture,  racy  content,  politics,  think  pieces,  philosophy,  she  even  hosts  people  on  occasion  to  keep  things  fresh  &  exciting  ),  people  were  finally  able  to  get  to  know  the  real  her.

[lgcsunwoo]

hello everyone!! i’m super excited to be here with my big dumbass, jeon sunwoo! a quick and dirt rundown of his #stats: nineteen, first year student at korea university, and hopefully a future actor (because he sucks at everything else). you can check out his about and biography pages if you want to know more, but i’ll also drop a brief intro under the cut. pls do hmu if you’d like to plot! i have sunwoo’s plots page up and i’ll leave some connection ideas under the cut as well. you can find me on ims usually, but also twitter and discord (please ask for my username!) if you prefer. ooooorrrrrr you can simply like this post and i’ll come to you to plot :’D

QUICK FACTS:

entered legacy in january 2020, so he’s still pretty new to the whole idol life/training thing. isn’t really good at like, the basic requirements of being an idol (so singing/dancing/rapping) and focuses more on things like modelling, acting, and variety because those are things he CAN do, you know? 

he’s an idol trainee for now though and he sucks. can i get an f in the chat

a first year at korea university, majoring in physical education. he’s also part of the baseball club @ uni and it’s something he’s very passionate about for reasons... anyway school isn’t his strong suit; he knows he only got into ku because of his dad’s connections

he’s ~pretty~ wealthy; dad’s the ceo of a heavy equipment company and mom is a former miss korea winner/model turned philanthropist. he also has a little brother (jinwoo) who is five years old and sunwoo literally never shuts up about how cute and perfect he is

since he basically lived life as an only kid, he’s a little spoiled and useless - his parents used to dote on him, basically gave him everything he wanted and did everything for him so when it comes to life skills he’s sorely lacking

the only thing he’s really good at is baseball - used to play in little league, then on his high school team. they were really good, consistently did well in national tournaments

(he’s not sure if he loves baseball because he’s good at it, or if he’s good at it because he loves it. that’s a whole other thing we won’t get into).

anyway!!! went viral during a tournament because they did a short segment on him and people were like wow he’s handsome + those proportions + talent and a bunch of people told him he should be an idol/celebrity and he was like haha maybe (but no)

but he didn’t get scouted by any of the teams in the kbo or futures league!! his dad helped him get into school but he was like, i can’t live life for just SCHOOL

so he auditioned for legacy at the urging of a friend and got in and was like, so desperate for a new dream that he decided ok this is what i want to do with my life

(we don’t know if it is)

he’s actually a super warm, friendly, cheerful guy. always the mood maker in any situation, wants everyone to get along. can sometimes come across as like arrogant or egotistical but he’s a rich kid so #webeenknew

kinda aimless in the sense that he lives in the moment and doesn’t worry about the future... he’s not good at planning so he’s just like, i will not think about it. he’s just straight vibing most of the time...

honestly really trusting and obedient, wears his heart on his sleeve, can be emotionally volatile at times but he tries to internalize the ~bad things~ and push people away when he’s not feeling great!! lies a lot too--innocent white lies that are mostly to like, get out of situations he doesn’t wanna deal with, but still

loves affection and being praised... external validation is s*xy to him... when he doesn’t get it he just crashes... sorry he’s not good at like... self-motivation

overall, he’s a good kid. i swear.

this was supposed to be short why does this always happen to me i’m so sorry

CONNECTIONS:

friends... pls... he’s a very friendly guy and generally will like add you to his circle after two conversations so i feel like he would have tons of these!!

fellow junior trainees especially extreme newbies!! let’s be bad at things and try to figure shit out together

also any korea university students pls hit him up... let’s be campus buddies... alternatively, any yonsei students: let’s throw the fuck down let’s GO school rivalries

where are his dorm i buddies at... sunwoo gets attached to people easily but he’s also the worst fucking roommate so...

older/more experienced trainees he can look at with sparkly anime eyes and seek validation from!! please mentor him!!

fellow actors/acting hopefuls in general... same goes for models/variety stars (current or aspiring). his people... he wants to connect with his people...

would love some enemies like maybe not even that antagonistic but sunwoo can get pretty annoying... maybe someone who hates him but sunwoo thinks they’re friends, or like... RIVALS... anything really

one sided crushes? mutual crushes that don’t go anywhere?? soft shoujo romance vibes ruined by how dense he is?? 

maybe (1) ex. maybe. dated them more for the feeling of being in a relationship rather than for real and now it’s awkward

people who like baseball or sporty people ): hit him up... let’s exercise together

older sibling figures who can take care of him because god knows he needs it... also he’s a cute younger brother and will do aegyo on command

or if nothing’s working i have a more detailed plots page as well!

[cupidcore]

hhhhhhh bad day but good gf hhhhhhh

[theterrornoise]

Music Reccs. Pt2.

“The Trilogy of the most underrated Swedish band: Breach what is your hardcore?

So to explain Breach we have to take a step back and start talking about Swedish Hardcore, cause most of you are awere of Swedish Crust or D beat, Mob 47,Anti-Cimex,Totalitar,Wolfbrigade\Wolfpack,Disfear,Skitsytem and Nasum (even if they are more on the Grind side of the thing). But in the 90′s something new was rising influenced by the new sound of Victory records and more Metal giutars, especially in Umea and Lulea (for example Refused,Fireside and Raised Fist) Breach were always the more aggressive and darkest sounding band, clear Crust inspiration and New York Hardcore at first, but with some edge to experimental vibe and in their first two ablum “Outlines” (E.P. 1994) Friction (1995) and .But in 1997 Swedish Hardcore started to change (Refused were almost collapsing under the pressure of their ambitious masterpiece Shape Of Punk To Come,Fireside started flirting with a more melodic direction and Raised Fist were the next big thing and Swedish skate\pop punk was growing in populariy with acts such Millencolin,Not Fun At All and Satanic Surfers) in this landscape Breach came out with a record that still to this day is impossible to describe “It’s Me God” an album that starts with what will set the tone for the rest of the record ground breaking guitar, sonical landscape where you wait for the next move, a voice that that strikes trough the layer of noise, an always persistent almos tribal drum. This album is not an expirience is a call to army there’s not a single secod where you know what to expect and what to ask for, song like Deadheads or Clot sounds so desperate and yet so energetic and you realize that you still have almost 30 minute of this record in front of you. The flow of this album is incredible we start seeing their first shift in a more Post-Hardcore\Post-Metal inspiration, there’s a clear Neurosis inspiration with a bit of early american metalcore some Convorge and some Unsane blend in, the desperate sound of Breach hits you with those absurde wall of sound that and those unstoppable rythmic section backed up by abrasive guitar, Presume The Forgotten take you of the road just when you start to understand how those guys think electronic noises and a stady guitar start the song, then the tribal drum and distorted guitar its you in a lo-fi mix, than the audio goes back up and it its you with this confused almost out of tempo rythm and almost thrash metal guitars, before fading into a into a melodic session and hit you up again and then,faiding again into glooming electronic noises, At this point you realize Breach don’t work only for their sound and energy but for how much they can play around with it and still leave you hooked up with fast tempo changes, dark melodies and such an imposing bass. “It’s Me God”  is the showcase of what Breach were able of doing ,in 1999 they relesed “Venom” which not only expand on the formula that breach created but challeged themselves to do more , expecially with some more decise doom oriented track like “Heroine” which take is time to grow and explode, But also fast and more frenetic track like “Murder” and “Common Day”, With song like “Diablo” and “Black Sabbath” we start seeing some attempt at instrumental tracks , the band was getting more caotich too, expecially on the bass on track like “Game of Vain” sound like “Plesuredome” and “Hell is my witness” is the final salute to the old-Breach and I say that because “Penetration” (the last track) is an admonition to the future of Breach an almost post-rock\post metal tracks. Venom was the first record to cough various attention from the critcs outside that small undergound community good reviews form Kerrang!,touring with Entombed and Neourosis and they also added another drummer for what will be their last and kinda prophetic title “Kollapse” (2002) the album starts with this kinda positive post-rock melody that kinda remainds of band like Isis the track is “Big Strong Boss” and it goes into this big and energic crescendo sorrounded with strange synth sounds in the background and the voice explode in the second track “Old Ass Player” fully embracing a metalcore attitude and a the voice distort itself all-over the track after two instrumental the more atmospheric “Sphincter Ani” and more violent and straight to the point “Alarma” we are hitted by some clean voice out-of-nowhere in “Lost Crew” a very danceble(?) and yet so deep song,before it abruptly slow down before hitting you back up with a wall of heavy metal guitar and guttural voice to remaind you that you should never joke with Breach. Then therese “Teeth Out” a full on kinda-psychedelic 9 minute instrumental masterpiece ,Before getting back in the fight with “Breathing Dust”, Mr.Marshall comes next (my favorite track on this record) delayed and bizzare almos mumbly vocals,a slow and distroted guitar that crash down into the ground followed up by some slow drums slowly growing back out of that ground,then a distroted bass go thru the mix of this record blurying evreything else then the guitars follows next building a wall of dissonant noise until the track collepse on itself leaving just the bass fuzz on the background. after that “Seven” whispered voice,tribal drums in form of bongos and beautiful guitar in clean some keybords a confused warm song in the middle of a destructive storm, “Murder Kings And Killer Queens” is the last glimpse and maybe goodbye of the violence of Breach,the album close with “Kollapse” psychadelic like “Seven” with no voice, full synth are used, that fenomenal bass fuzz comeback, some delayed and distorted voice, an pressing rythm and beautiful what assume I assume is a xylophone close the album.Breach ended there,just to reuinite 5 years later and destroyed their instruments at their final show cause they were done forever,never to be seen again (at least together).

Breach are a band that will never happen again, so much to learn from this guys, their sound their willingness to try everything out for one quest: The search of a sound, cause describing Breach trhu other band is impossible Breach were themeselves, so when you ask yourself what’s your sound ask to yourself what I’ve to do to search for that sound.

Thank you guys, if you see any errors or you have some more detail hmu.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbhndhq1MKg&t=1258s