#oldfart

[pbno5]

Paige Bueckers for president!!!

i do not care this much about our cuntry

[grusik]

Shuttersveld - Old Fart by oerendhard1

[troublewithangels]

good evening milf lovers everywhere

[netmors]

STAR WARS: Eleventh Fleet AU

Concept art for the Eleventh Fleet.

Finally got to Eli Vanto…

…however, among the Chaos of the Unknown Regions, he is better known as Eli'van'to or Ivant.

As the first human to join the Chiss Ascendancy, the future Commodore of the Chiss Expansionary Defense Fleet was faced with a galactic sense of déjà vu as he recalled his youth under the leadership of an equally strange, red-eyed alien in the Imperial Navy. But, if earlier Eli was an assistant in the shadow of his… friend, now the main role fell to him.

Unlike Ronan, Eli's path was not as simple as it could have been. Both Karyn’s in the Empire and Eli’s in the Ascendancy - the status of “protégés” and assistants to the Grand Admiral simultaneously gave them advantages, but also entailed no less huge problems. Perhaps Vanto had it a little harder.

From a man from Lysatra who wanted to be an ordinary, inconspicuous supply officer, he became first a commander in the Imperial Navy, and then rose again to commodore in the Chiss.

Once upon a time, the Moff’s assistant, whose name Vanto deliberately forgot, said that he would either vegetate forever in Thrawn’s shadow, or the alien would drag Eli down with him. In a sense, she was indeed right.

However, it was not Mitth'raw'nuruodo, but Eli who built his destiny. He had many chances to leave, but… well… chiss, as always, was only a catalyst on the path of human stubbornly moving forward.

And Commodore Van'to's name was indeed a name to be reckoned with in the Unknown Regions.

And a few more “thoughts out loud” about Eli…

During his ten years outside the Galaxy, Vanto never joined any Family - neither the Rulings nor the Great. This distinguished the man even from the top of the Fleet, who "renounced" their "families" to serve the entire Ascendency.

At the same time, some families still left their mark on his Chains of Honor. And many after.

The chains will become a reflection of events, the secret of one of which Eli will keep “to the grave and even below it.”

However, despite his “neutrality”, in a sense, he now has a native “person” - girl-navigator Un'hee. Syndicure doesn't give up trying to place her in any family, but chiss always refuses and prefers to remain without a “family”.

And as if in retaliation to the “oldfart from Csilla,” teenager always introduces himself in Lesser Space as Unhee Vanto.

At that time, the poor Commodore swears to High General Ar'alani that he did not swear in Basic in front of the girl. Unfortunately, he often attended such meetings with admirals Tro'omis and Ma'kro, and only give them a reason to “criff” a colleague. To which one of them then received a response from Thalias and Sacheri.

…and the price for everything is the gray hair of the Supreme General.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - @thealiveANDdeadone

For: ghxstkids and the_crownless_queen

Phantom is half ghost and people have opinions on that, and Danny’s just a dumbass.

Kwanbomb - Kwan

Footballking - Dash

Phantomsphine - Paulina

Mik-key - Mikey

ItsBrittneyBitch - Brittany

PDAxpda - Tucker

thealiveone - Danny

Books-on-a-lance - Mr. Lancer

YourMaster - Vlad (rarely uses chat, so only Danny and Tucker really know that’s Vlad)

Rest are random Amity Parker’s

--

Maitle: guys guys you will not believer what I just overheard from Skulker and Ember!

Lilybily: oh oh please be that embers going in tour again!

Maitle: better

Maitle: well no, not better but WILDER

Maitle: apprently pahtnoms half human

Maitle: and with how obsessed that skulket ghost is I doubt its bullshit

Lilybily: no why what?

Lilybily: ?????????

Maitle: EXACTLY

Maitle: but it makes sense!

Snowsnow: oh shit it actually does

Snowsnow: I think lefit everyones always wondered why the heck that ghost protects the town

Snowsnow: he must live in it

Crabapples: I wash he goddamn wouldn’t

Lilybily: no! He’s cool he stay

Maitle: my throats exactly

Maitle: at first I was all like

Maitle: what butch no way

Maitle: but then I was all like

Maitle: 😮

Mistlehoe: I am, for one, very glad that the conspiracy nut isn’t in this part of the chat

Maitle: oh agreed

Lilybily: ew

Kwanbomb: im sorry but what?!?!?!?!?!?

Maitle: oh hey someone from the Highschool

Maitle: anyone there vagiley phantom sized?

Crabapples: oh great teenagers

Lilybily: what? Why the highschool?

Maitle: cause he’s teenager shaped! Obvi

Mistlehoe: reasonable. If he’s human he probably ages like a human and isn’t actually hundreds of years old

Kwanbomb: holy shit I go to school with phantom

Kwanbomb: I’m going to doe

Kwanbomb: @Footballking

Spits on outsiders: well damn

Footballking: dude what

Footballking: HOLY SHIT NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY

Spits on outsiders: hate to say it

Spits on outsiders: but

Footballking: I AM GOING TO DIE

Spits on outsiders: crazy kid called it

Maitle: shut up absolutely not

Kwanbomb: and it wouldn’t be Fenton anyway

Footballking: ha! what a loser

Momosquad: be nice

Footballking: whatever mom

Momosquad: 🙄

Momosquad: but realistically, he’s probably ot one of the popular kids, you realize that right?

ItsBrittneyBitch: why not? Phantoms a cutie and like super fit

Crabapples: of course not he’s a freaky annoying ghost. Ghosts aren’t cool

Kwanbomb: definitely on a team

Kwanbomb: ghosts are SUPER COOL SHIT UP OLDFART

Mistlehoe: I’m siding with momo here. Why would he be in sports on top of fighting ghosts?

Momosquard: @Crabapples phantom is likely in this chat as his human self be nice and please refrain from picking fights with teenagers

Maitle: oh yeah that’d be exhausting

Maitle: and since he’s human ish he must need sleep and shit

Lilybily: oh no I wonder if he eats enough

Remi: if he doesnt were absolutely starting a food druve for him

Momosquad: that sounds like a great idea actually

Kwanbomb: the nasty burger lets him eat free actually

Remi: wait you guys knew he ate food?

Kwanbomb: yeah? Didn’t seem that weird

Maitle: ya’ll are dumbasses

PDAxpda: 😱

Footballking: geek loser

Footballking: you better tell us if any of your weird loser geek nerd friends are ripped

PDAxpda: and why would I tell you shit?

Maitle: oh dont be a spoilsport

Momosquad: realistically if he did know why would he tell anyone?

Momosquad: why would anyone?

Kwanbomb: everyone would love him though!

Kwanbomb: hed be the most popular guy at school!

Remi: I’ve literally seen videos of phantom trying to avoid the school fan girls

Remi: people not knowing who he is the only thing keeping your crazy girls from mobbing him all day

Crabapples: it is disturbing any of you drool over a dead guy…

PDAxpda: @thealiveone

Maitle: …

Maitle: why are you ating the fenton kid

thealiveone: fuck me in the ass

Maitle: what the hell

Footballking: FENTON

Footballking: your know who he fucking is because of your parents shit don’t you

Kwanbomb: 😮 that should have been obviosu were dumb

ItsBrittneyBitch: oh yeah

Lilybily: wait

Lilybily: does that mean fentons know

PDAxpda: 😑

thealiveone: are you stupid?

thealiveone: like seriosuly?

Spits on outsiders: pretty sure they would have hunted him down and tied him up and taken him away by now if they did

thealiveone: they have MANY notebooks detialing exactly what theyd like to do to him

Momosquad: thats unpleasant and concerning

thealiveone: NO SHIT

Maitle: so what I’m hearing is no one tells the fentons cool

Remi: no objections here

Crabapples: I may not like the creature but I’m not reporting anyone to them

Lilybily: please say hes not wes

thealiveone: 100% yes absolutely

PDAxpda: *snort*

Kwanbomb: so that’s a no

thealiveone: ☹️

thealiveone: Mist you ruin my fun

thealiveone: why does no one let me bully wessy

thealiveone: let me be evil

Momosquad: you are a handful you know

Footballking: fentin! ANWSERS

thealiveone: 🖕🏻

Mik-key: since pda didn’t answer

Mik-key: he’s definitely not one of the geeks or nerds, you jerks should know with how often you’ve ripped our shirts away from us in the lockers

Footballking: cry about it weakling

Footballking: and ha knew it

Kwanbomb: that would be so weird if he was

Momosquad: you kids should be getting in trouble for that

Footballking: piss off

Mistlehoe: hey now

Crabapples: ah boys will be boys. Glad to see that much hasn’t changed

Maitle: the fenton adults aren’t even in this chat right?

Momosquad: after jack attempted to repeatedly take over the voice chat with ghost lessons they were removed

Maitle: cool cool

Remi: so if anyone shows this chat to them they get a public beating

PDAxpda: Shade will take the lead

Lilybily: that’s like a legit threat actually

Phantomsphine: WHY DID NO ONE AT ME!!!!!!!!!!

Phantomsphine: OHMYGOD

Phantomsphine: HE MUST BE HOT I NEED HIS HUMAN SELF

thealiveone: 😬 you sound like pda

PDAxpda: HEY

Crabapples: I will never understand women

—Phantomsphine has left the chat—

thealiveone: nioce

Kwanbomb: noooo

Lilybily: seriously girl?

—Phantomsphine has joined the chat—

Phantomsphine: as if you could live without my presence

Phantomsphine: now

Phantomsphine: WHICH CUTE BOY IS PHANTOM

PDAxpda: one determined lady

thealiveone: shut up pda

PDAxpda: 🙂‍↕️

Crabapples: they’re worse when they sucker you into marriage

thealiveone: thanks for remdiing everuoen why youre dirvoced

Spits on outsiders: man even I know the jocks are just gonna tie you up and hang you from a tree or someshit till you tell them

Maitle: so alive one

Momosquad: they absolutely should not be doing any such thing

thealiveone:

thealiveone: bo

Books-on-a-lance: anyone who does do that, especially for such a reason, will be getting detention immediately. Football team or not

Footballking: worth it

Kwanbomb: ah man

Phantomsphine: how could you deny me like this

Remi: so that’s a yes they were going to do that

thealiveone: Id be afreaid if there was anything worth being aageiaid of

Momosquad: kids no

Footballking: oh whatever

Footballking: freak deserves it

thealiveone: do you have a thing for phantom or something

PDAxpda: dude…

Footballking: okay now youre asking for it

thealiveone: it just kinda seems like youre weridly intrested in getting pahntom all toed up and alone

thealiveone: 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lilybily: what

Lilybily: I’m confused

Footballking: what the hell is that supposed to mean you damn twink

Maitle: oh shit seriously?

Momosquad: that’s… deeply concerning

Books-on-a-lance: Daniel…

thealiveone: hey don’t Daniel me

PDAxpda: shades gonna be so mad at your dumbass

PDAxpda: a bindage joke? Really?

thealiveone: me see opportunity

thealiveone: me takes oppootinity

thealiveone: plus spits is totally right and ol lancey any much of a deterent

Books-on-a-lance: my apologies

thealiveone: eg is what it is

Phantomsphine: no absolutely not

Phantomsphine: pahntoms hot you are not

thealiveone: how dare!

PDAxpda: I don’t know I’d say he’s hot

thealiveone: that doesnt mean anything man

PDAxpda: hurtful dude hurtful

ItsBrittneyBitch: omg you’re serious

Maitle: how the heck

thealiveone: did you just ask me how I died????????

Maitle: wait no

Maitle: I am very sorry

Kwanbomb: 😅

Footballking: no fuck that

Footballking: I rush with an awnser

Spits on outsiders: so…

Spits on outsiders: how’d you apprently die

thealiveone: first off

thealiveone: rude

thealiveone: second

Books-on-a-lance: you do not need to answer that

thealiveone: I live in a house surromded by weapons and expirements that are never stored saftly how the fuck do you think

Maitle: oh geez

Momosquad: that’s… really awful

thealiveone: I know 😀

PDAxpda: don’t worry dude literally does not care

Books-on-a-lance: I have long been worried about the state of your house, seems I was rather not worried enough. I am sorry

Footballking: I refuse!

thealiveone: your fine lance and do you need my damn dental records or somehtung?

Remi: no one neeed to see that Jesus

Remi: but huh guess this means wes was right

thealiveone: no one tell him I enjoy his suffering

thealiveone: but sericpusly I’m good n happy as I am so no worries shit worked out inthe end

Phantomsphine: this makes no sense!

Momosquad: I’m glad to hear that then

Footballking: yeah!

Footballking: you’re a nodddle limbed twink

thealiveone: have you seen technuses arms? He’s buitls like a gucking stick and can still theow a car at my face

thealiveone: besides non of you shits have seen menwithout a shirt on in YEARS

thealiveone: DUDE

thealiveone: oh fick you

Kwanbomb: xd oh geez

Phantomsphine: I refuse to beleive that’s fentons body

thealiveone: even the news paper man? Jackass

thealiveone: also I get caughth nearly naked way too much

thealiveone: this is why I stopped wearing breifs

Lilybily: you are like way to calm about this

Books-on-a-lance: it is likely he expected to be found out eventually

thealiveone: that and it’s been LITERALLY YEARS

thealiveone: and im aß with being subtle

PDAxpda: yeah dude it’s a miracle only Wes figured it out

Basted: so how much are you willing to pay or do to keep me quiet

thealiveone: ….

Momosquad: please do not

Maitle: public beat threats stand and shade definitely will do it now

Kwanbomb: you should totally join the football team

Footballking: phantom or not no he’s a lsoer

thealiveone: 🥲 glad to see your feelings havent changed

thealiveone: and fuck no

Basted: WHAT THE HELL A GHOST VUTLURE JUST GAVE ME A GAG ORDER WHAT THE FUCK

thealiveone: I don’t get enough sleep as it is

thealiveone: 🖕🏻

Books-on-a-lance: as I can attest to

Books-on-a-lance: and as I understand much better now

Maitle: so he just constantly sleept in class and no one relaised that was weird?

thealiveone: no one expects a dead guy to be an alvie guy

Books-on-a-lance: he’s not the only one who sleeps in class, merely the one who does it the most

Mistlehoe: …and how much is that?

Books-on-a-lance: I see now that perhaps it should have been more concerning

Momosquad: wow

ItsBrittneyBitch: oh yeah he sleeps more than he doesnt

ItsBrittneyBitch: he drolls sometimes ots gross

thealiveone: wow really feeling the love right now

PDAxpda: at least you’re not getting fan girled

thealiveone: *phan girled

PDAxpda: I hate you

Phantomsphine: I still cant believe this I hate this

PDAxpda: hey if you don’t want to shoot your shot I bet tons of other girls and guys will

thealiveone: by all the ancients

thealiveone: NO

PDAxpda: come on man I want all the leftovers

ItsBrittneyBitch: ew

Lilybily: ew

Momosquad: please don’t be creepy

Phantomsphine: EW

Kwanbomb: ew

Footballking: HA you wash

PDAxpda: 🤕

thealiveone: smh you never learn man

thealiveone: besides

thealiveone: I’m literalsly not ‘allowed’ to remeber

PDAxpda: OH YWAH THAT

Mistlehoe: please say there isn’t a ghost rule against dating the living….

Lilybily: he’s alive too so that shodudle even matter anyways

Phantomsphine: I suppose I could tolerate star dating Fenton

—Phantomsphine has changed their name to ItGirlVibesOnly—

thealiveone: fucking really?

ItGirlVibesOnly: hmpf

ItGirlVibesOnly: you’ve lost hot status

thealiveone: don’t you mean phine status

PDAxpda: why must you be like this

thealiveone: hey shes the one who speleled with a ph not me even if I started that trend

thealiveone: which really how did Jo own joticee phantom was absicially just fenton with a ph

Maitle: oh my god were all Funden

Maitle: *dumb

Books-on-a-lance: even I feel rather embarrassed

thealiveone: you should

PDAxpda: and bro didn’t even change his first name

thealiveone: I just really wanted everykne to just stop calling me that other crap

Momosquad: I can not blame you for that

thealiveone: I should hope the fuck nit

Remi: you didn’t answer why you can’t dante anyone you know

thealiveone: dick

thealiveone: “gods are not to date those of mortal flesh”

Footballking: 😑

Lilybily: you’re dead jot a god

Mistlehoe: did you fight a ghost god or something

PDAxpda: they don’t realize you’re being totally serious dude

thealiveone: oh I know

Footballking: fucking bullshit

Kwanbomb: I have so many questions right now

Mik-key: I’m fairly certain we’ve been attacked by multiple gods

thealiveone: pretty much every couple of months yeah

Mik-key: also way to shit post people into being calm about this

thealiveone: I’ve literally blackmailed both the mayor and the gods of observation, I’m a manipulative bastard when I wanna be

PDAxpda: to be fair clock kinda let you do that

thealiveone: shhhh

thealiveone: its about confidence… and denial

Maitle: you gonna explain or…

thealiveone: sure

thealiveone: in

thealiveone: 3

thealiveone: 2

Kwanbomb: wow you are an ass

thealiveone: 1

Remi: FUCK YOU

Kwambomb: oh you really suck

PDAxpda: ahahahahgaggagggagaggdgkrbaWii

PDAxpda: of course it’s in black and white you shuthead

ItsBrittneyBitch: you evil sinfoabitch

ItGirlVibesonly: ew

Momosquad: really?

Maitle: you know what I’m glad you died you desverwd it

Mik-key: …

thealiveone: get wrecked bitches

thealiveone: nanananananananana

PDAxpda: just for that

PDAxpda: dudes legit the next death god king of ghosts the works

thealiveone: HEY!

PDAxpda: oh go cry to plasmius

thealiveone: is big sad

Remi: considering your personality that is very concerning

Books-on-a-lance: Daniel…

thealiveone: naw fuck this shit im out peace bitches

thealiveone: oh but first

—thealiveone has changed their name to thealiveanddeadone-

PDAxpda: zone that’s a mouthful ddude

thealiveanddeadone: boo

—thealiveanddeadone has changed their name to schrodingers biggest shit—

PDAxpda: …

PSAxpda: you are not the biggest one dumbass

schrodingers biggest shit: 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

—schrodingers biggest shit has changed their name to screamingfanwithafryingpan—

Lilybily: how does it keep getting worse

PDAxpda: he’s a real ass with names

screamingfanwithafryingpan: HEY

Maitle: I like how we’re just watching this shit show

—screamingfanwithafryingpan has changed their name to UndeadInside—

PDAxpda: holy shit it’s got capitals!

Mik-key: acceptable

Momosquad: slightly worried about your mental health

UndeadInside: be worried

UndeadInside: I have most of the issues

UndeadInside: anyway

UndeadInside: I AM LEAVING

UndeadInside: *leaves*

PDAxpda: smh

Maitle: wait did he just imply there are other half human ghosts????????

Kwanbomb: oh shit

PDAxpda: gomdant dude I’m not answering any of this

Mistlehoe: well that’s an answer in and of itself

Footballking: WHAT THE HELL

Spits on outsiders: think Wes knows

ItGirlVibesOnly: keep that freak out of this

Spits on outsiders: think it is wes

Kwanbomb: no way

ItsBrittneyBitch: ew

Momosquad: that boy

Kwanbomb: it’s totally the mayor right?

Snowsnow: he is greatly unsettling

Footballking: oh yeah it is kinda weird a billion randomly became our mayor one day

UndeadInside: HOW THE HELL!

Remi: whelp

Remi: this town is a mess

Mistlehoe: and let me guess this is why you hate each other

UndeadInside: 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

PDAxpda: just stop while you’re ahead man

Footballking: the mayors lame though so who cares

YourMaster: …

YourMaster: what am I supposed to do with you boy

YourMaster: @Basted Eric Helmer you have three off shore accounts with china for tax evasion purposes and nineteen stocks in tobacco companies, whilst being on the health and wellness committee. You will remain silent on these matters

Kwanbomb: zone Jesus fucking cheist

UndeadInside: 🫡

End.

Prompts: An overheard conversation between two ghosts reveals the truth: Phantom is half-human. Chaos ensues. Reveal gone right.

[xnovicexofxreasonx]

ARRIVAL BUT WHERE

History Repeats Itself 2025

INTRO

Yeah damn, writing that part last and i'm kinda knackered already, so gon be messy. Anyway, how we've got here:

The third year attending the local mini-fest there were high hopes, but the lowest results lmao. Missed ofc the early bird ticket, 'cause thought whole way "yeah come on, leipzig, there gonna be tickets aplenty" - no way man, sold out in a blink before a payday.

Okay, said i, so no rush, gonna get the 3-day ticket instead, closer to the date. Yeah, fuck that - was sold out like two month prior. The (almost) full schedule was announced (yeah i'm annoyed right now ngl), so i skipped last day (there was already stuff planned anyway) - who's the fuck gonna miss missing GOD IS AN ASTRONAUT (was mildly interested in ZOLA JESUS tho).

Anyway, three-day fest shrinked to two-day one and i kinda banked everything on day one, and another was just damage control (aka value for money (and i fucked it up lol, see further)).

This year there were some changes in the organizational stuff at our favorite local mini-fest, they've got the big stage (of "fuck ravers" fame), so they did do sell tickets only for that (i thought, tough luck man, i'm a festival goer (i'm not (well, we'd see about that later this year)). Funnily enough that's where i spent most of the time.

Yeah, and The Crowd ™️ (funny i'm writing that two beers drunk and i'm typing much better, what the frick?). That fest, our beloved, was always special in that regard, it's like people here are really mixed - there are the usuals (patchtrees etc.), some wacko yougsters, some Normal People also, really really mixed. The first year i was young and brighteyed and like the first time at the zoo; last year was very metal-heavy, like a lot of black metal for some reason; so this year i finally saw clearly The People Blend (prolly after the toddler-party and the real oldfart den back to back to back). So yeah, that year was a wash, but not the first day, actually. Here we go!

DAY 1: The Fun, The High, The Weird

The Vinyl Guy - check;

The Ultimates - check a plenty;

The woman-fronted bands - check;

The fellow goer Anders the Grandpa - check check check.

Came early to do all the technical stuff like merch and whatever, to my sad surprise ORANSSI PAZUZU didn't bring any small stuff, lady on the desk just said "well, t-shirt is like a big patch", yeah no, i have Gildan Heavy Cotton crap more than enough (Soft Style is much better anyway). Rest of the time i've though to spent with Ukrainian band MACHUKHA, but there was the waiting queue (!!!) to the Basement. Well, good for them.

Alright, first stop, the DOOL (no idea) from the nether realms, is kinda hard'n'heavy rock affair, in hippieish kinda way; Xena the Warrior Queen and a buncha nerds on a giantass fuck-ravers stage; kinda neat but not something special.

Next we had another returner - the feared AGRICULTURE band. Always thought the repeats, and so close, are unnecessary but boy oh boy that shit was Elevated that time! They don't even have a lot of stuff, neither anything new, but somehow managed to expand that in every direction. Bigger, louder, more piercing, more technical even, better facial hair. Alas not without bumps again - the sideburned drummer lost sound, that brought botched hallmark jump at a high moment and so on - but still, that was fucking awesome. Those guys and gals are still humble af, but on a bigger stage and with bigger audience they're on a right track. So basically it is not only not fucking sucks, but fucking rocks, whatever kvult-smellies wanna think. Fuck yeah!

Anyway, no time to spend pondering some suckers, we gotta gotta go. CHET PALE next, let's finally see the real korn band.

No hopes for the garbage man (the best track ever), plenty of garbage men though. The Cap Reporting here: all sort of caps galore - i'll give my highest grade "GOOD"; but wtf is this constant smell?

Yeah well, CP was little bit better than expected (no garbage man obvi), quite a talkative man that main guy they have. Well it figures, disturbing music - pretty disturbed guy. Сharismatic tho ngl, talked whole way abt movies and shit, the real film-junkie: started very tiring with DRUK, continued through Wittenberg and Trier, and finished on PUSHER (he said himself he did "research"). He was barefooted, danced kinda funny, later dropped t-shirt to be gloriously beerbellied and had a bad time in general. Still music sucked tho, but i guess you can play literally anything and leave vocals the same - it's still gonna be disturbing. The bass-heavy funky (munky?) music, basically korn without rapping, and sense also. The coupla songs were from previous stuff, those were good. But i guess atmosphere was pretty hanged anyway, a lot of pos-duders with spilling beers, kinda pushy "dancers", frankly absurd slampit etc. - it was all shit, but kinda okay.

Anyway, from a disturbed man-band we go to another in-between extra - all-women band, as per tradition. SLIMO are danish ladies, smudged lipstick make up says it all basically, can't say i understood much of the music, doomy? post/noise rock, samples from mobile phone, sometimes wild, mostly kinda depressive? Anyway not bad that's for sure, CAY AVIL kinda vibes mb?

And we go to the main course for today - ORANSSI PAZUZU. Big stage, huge crowd, that damn smell. Warming up were some hip-hop recordings, that is some class, and what do we have here? Basically whole CLIPPING. album before pazuzu, wow what a banging stuff, no wonder it is recommended like from everywhere (and i mean from max hugger himself). My shazam-attempt attracted some guy who asked for the band name - another one converted.

So, let's go to the space then. We are big fans here of any kind of pazuzus, austrian and finnish and what ever. Being barefoot is the name of the game today, but i sincerely hope OPs guitarist didn't catch anything on that same stage after CHAD PEEL. So, the finnish wonders ORANSSI PAZUZU - this kinda fucking slaps. The weird metal galore, as the same music blog that dropped "like" for BLACK CURSE said "they are far past that black metal game", still, it's spacey, it's synthy as fuck, it's extreme - everything i like. The quintet: the special buttons-guy, poor barefoot-guitarist (helped with some buttons), the bassman also pushed some angry bass modulations, drummer was calm as a comet and the main leatherclad frontguy (was looking his fresh "eurovision rocker" style, but was jerking and screeching like there was no tomorrow). An absolutely tripping set, all bangers no notes, at one time there was a completely electronic passage, shit's awesome what can be said. Another music youtuber (code name "proggy") written them off as a "disturbing" music - i can see why now: guitar guy was fucking possessed, main guy was evil-looking and so on and so forth - The Elevated Art ™️ all around.

Yeah so the first day was no stinkers; at the very end caught up with The Vinyl Guy, who nicely parked for whole evening some plates i managed to snatch - cheers!

DAY 2: The Stupid, The Smell, The End

I was completely exhausted anyway, so came late and thought to congratulate myself with a nice beer, as that day i was here only for FRAIL BODY (who's KYLESA anyway)...

...Aaaaand i missed it! The festival guys apparently updated timetables and moved FRAIL BODY to an earlier time so i missed them completely.

Yeah nice, whatever, i guess it was not that great album anyway (recommended by a youtuber no less (you can see how salty i was)).

Well shit, as the saying goes, don't believe anything youtubers say. So i standing and watching something called VALERIAN SWING (is that an orgone generator?), sounds like washed out O. PAZUZU. Psych! Synths are good tho, bass modulation etc. At least they are not talking. You can even find some dance punk (?) in here, but mostly really silent crystal fighters i guess. Not that bad after one beer. Nicely done "noise" drums - you just add all kinds of extra metal on top. Trio form italy looking "italian freegan" style. As per deranged hippy theme that was time to shake an arafat-scarf. Yup.

But i still am pissed off. I guess KYLESA it is today, whatever that fucking means. I gonna drink some more to barely manage it, so bear with me. Anyway, KYLESA. Sounds familiar obvi, but ofc only last.fm, praise it, can help. Soooo, its like mastodon-core or something? idk. The Archives say yes.

Lady-fronted band - gonna be the theme of the fest i guess, top billing today no less (yeah, this time line up is really weak). Maybe it's me, or maybe sound is really shitty, either FRAIL BODY (i'm still fuming btw), or PAZUZU-fellas destroyed it. It's a head nodding music time (translation: it's groove). Yeah, no, really, the sound is awful, there is only bassss. Xena, the Warrior Queen Season Two, the groovy dude in a hat (crustcore guy, apparently), a retired skater and luca venezia impersonator on drums (it says here it is roy mayorga from MINISTRY, yeah alright, what?). Maybe opener was wack, but sound miraculously got better.

Much warmer today for some reason (gonna rain i'd say). Middle part of the set was forming out much better, prolly beer started working, or they played some old stuff i apparently listened to, so 'twas a'ight, kinda riffy, and solos were not shit. Still too wishy washy for my taste of sludge adjacent music (yooo man i've finally listened to the body (again?) it's a wild stuff ngl, aggro-industrial fuckness, gonna rec it to max hugger my industrial boy); with years it finally dawned on me - "groove" music is kinda not working for me. Yeah, goregrind some call groovy music, some say bongzilla-core is one - those i like hundred percent; prolly can listen to early MASTODON, defo BURNT BY THE SUN (it'd be wild if they were alive) - but current masto or any clones 're wack, sorry.

At the end of the set there was some old school banger, but coupla of smelly boys was smooching all too actively and bump into me like constantly, goddamnnn. Yeah, no, i was clearly tired of this shit, music was kinda slapping and not at the same time, but the smell i had enough of (some dude smelled like bug repellent, come on). KYLESA played and played (well gonna be consistent with feeling that music invoke, like very long and tiring). Maybe i have become the metal guy? Gonna test that on the pure hardcore fest this summer. To that side we gotta gotta go.

Anyway, i guess we are gonna put it (that report) out of its misery (shit man i'm kinda glad i skipped next day and whole G.I.A.A. debacle, stuff has bad vibes; and i guess i gonna catch ZOLA JESUS any next time). It was the four days marathon anyway, even with my legendary Endurance i barely can stand on my feet (the culture program not gonna stop tho, fml).

At the exit i planned to trash FRAIL BODY merch table but the guy was super nice, promised to return, and sold me my consolation "i fucked up" trinket for the small cash. Sweet.

So yeah, folks, that's it, here is to another year (i'm gonna have another four-days-death-metal-fest-run later the year among other stuff; fml, fml)!

Love ya, bye!

8/9/10-05-2025

[kon-draki]

how does his look so good when i just layered multiple colors guh

Anyways yeah oldfart saint

rip photo quality

[lynxgriffin]

I really liked watching your playthrough of in stars and time, I feel like your personality and humor meshes really well with the game (except for the times I think you were making references I just didn't get), and you also gave the game space to speak for itself during the emotionally heavy moments.

Thanks so much, I'm really happy to hear that you enjoyed the playthrough streams! I definitely enjoyed playing it! (Although yeah, I'm an oldfart so there's probably some references there younger folks might not get!) Thanks so much for watching!

[kinkinderelatie]

"People Pleasing" versus "Freeze" (...)

Freeze & Neuroceptie OK, #OldFart misschien. Maar ik hoor de laatste tijd méér en méér mensen een beetje schimpend over “People Pleasing” praten. Of het komt in writings voorbij als iets “dat je gewoon moet niet doen” (!). “People Pleasing” versus “Freeze” (…) Nou heb ik alleen al een broertje dood aan dat laatste zinnetje… “dat moet je gewoon niet doen” algemeen goedbedoeld makkelijk…

[ladysparklefarts]

@oldfart-63 behold the mighty croc-o-weenie!

[flyguy]

Been a minute...🎈 Boring Conversation Anyway returned earlier today after seven years hiatus. Action figures, pre-orders, news, and we discover how some pull their Mastosaurus. 🎬 https://go.FLYGUYtoys.com/BCA63 #oldfarts #talkingabout #actionfigures

[taralcicora]

Breakfast in Hackney Land 👸 🐎 💗 🏇 . . . #horse #horses #horsesofinstagram #horseoftheday #instahorse  #instagramhorses #instagramhorse #pet #pets #dressage #pferd #pferde #instapet #instagrampet #dressagehorse #hackney #horsebackriding #horseriding #princess #babyhorse #princesses #oldfart #ponyprincess #pony #ponymare #Senior #seniorcitizen

from Instagram: https://instagr.am/p/C9iSC36vWJQ/

[conflagrate]

Seiyu Radio no Uraomote 01

Me with this show.

If only seiyuu these days remained nameless and faceless...

Enemies to lovers stay enemies!

They all have the same eyes lololol

Yeah I'm supposed to like this cos I did use to be this massive seiyuu fan/blogger back in the day but yeah....I'm and old-school oldfart who doesn't care about the new generation of seiyuu idols. Plus I never liked the novel nor the manga nor the yuribaiting😬Pass from me...!

[lawenda-lavenders]

from experience, yes. all yall who lived out in the sticks in middle school on a little hobby farm and a shitty internet connection finding amv's on oldfart youtube??? yeah, we existed and it was a cursed experience with some chickens to chill with once in awhile lmao

[xnovicexofxreasonx]

CURSE OF BEING BACK

We're Home 2025

Now that's better.

We are on a familiar territory here, listening to the good, the old, the fart music. So are the smells, familiar (mostly of cash and death).

The year of Goings Backs: now it's BLACK CURSE again, it was the second ever gig here on the shores of the sound (not really, but will you count stuff from over 9 years ago?). Ironic, that return to the first ever gonna be tomorrow.

Asynchronicity aside, it's a new place also (gonna be the theme of the year) - itsy-bitsy club up two stairways, and the first thing that welcomes you on a website is "child friendly" (gonna be the theme of the year). So, to be outside comfort zone i took a metro there.

And what a welcome surprise - there was no warm up announced, so local death metal enforcement (metal militia if you will) stepped in. We meet again, UNDERGANG.

Same beer powered gory dm from local beer-quartet. Strange choice i'd say, not unwelcome tho.

So, the crowd. Now that is just comforting (?) to realize, that at least 70% of public around have an aging bowel control. The battle-jackets (patchtrees?), the hairduders, the bald-brigade, that fleeting name for the ultimate metal oldfart - the usuals. Stand closer to the hairs, they make good fans. Another contrast - people here are standing in roomy rows - now that is a thoughtful ventilation i'd say.

UNDERGANG never disappoints: you never expect anything anyway - but as the old as time itself bored-to-death-riffs come, something very goregrind-y comes as well. All that with the brand of a natural beerpowered guttural voicework. Drummer is a beast ™️ ofk: hobo with a shotgun doing his best Beeeeeaaaans (now, now it looks better!) cosplay. The boys played all the hits, joked all the good jokes about the place (the end of metro line), the time (wednesday evening), the beer (skål!). Finished on a high note: the guy from BLACK CURSE guest drumming best songs. The guy is a machine (for a guitarist), but probably The Beast himself also. (Apparently he is drumming in SPECTRAL VOICE, nice). There was kinda perfect sound, surprisingly.

Anyway, short break, i wrote some of the letter to Misha (i like the multitemporal stuff right here, as i write it on another gig later that week). So, the BLACK CURSE.

The fellas from the legendary Denver, Colorado ™️ dropped a colossal banger at the end of last year: the first time i read about them couple of years ago was from a music blog; the praises for the second album i've read in a different music blog - kinda digital synchronicity. Anyway, what they're doing is just one of the best fucking chaos on that whole warmetal front - second only to kings of TEITANBLOOD.

Yet again the boys elevated the incomprehensibly chaotic b-dm blend by on point visuals: rusty chains (doublechecked - they're real!), dusty clothes, moody lights (at one point the second, brutal, guitarguy reprimanded some elder photolady for using flash), etc. Same team as last time too - (in order of thickness of chains) - the intensely bald and eye-bulging drummer (no chain), the demonically possessed lead guy Eli (thinnest but most evil looking chain), the tall cowboy-boy bassboy, and the immensely brutal (if you know you know) second player (brutal chain on par). Music is, well, incomprehensible no stops-no bullshit evil wall-of-sound noise metal stuff we all need and love. But that time i finally got it - all that chaos is carefully and precisely constructed with a lot of pedals and layers and stuff, so it is not a random dirty sounds - it is an elevated art form, fuck yeah!

Yeah, well that shit you can only see live, and coupled with the natural demonic possession happening in front of your eyes - that's what we call 'living' here.

Last time there was no encore - one and done deal, but having legacy album makes sense to do the usual encore-shenanigans. Some girl (swedish i assume) next to me tried to have me shouting band name during The Ritual of Summonig, but i decided not to disappoint her by saying it was inevitable anyway - so just told her "i'm shy".

After the last banger - went strait for the metro, no stops, no bullshit.

Had a nice ride together with one patchtree duder and the old-fart (us three across the whole train).

Sweet.

7-8/05/2025

[taralcicora]

Ada.... 👸 🐎 💗 🏇 . . . #horse #horses #horsesofinstagram #horseoftheday #instahorse  #instagramhorses #instagramhorse #pet #pets #dressage #pferd #pferde #instapet #instagrampet #dressagehorse #hackney #horsebackriding #horseriding #princess #babyhorse #princesses #oldfart #ponyprincess #pony #ponymare #Senior #seniorcitizen

from Instagram: https://instagr.am/p/C9fiflgP8Tt/