#olivia was still clearly pissed at her but at first she was trying to not express it directly so she wouldn't get immediately fired

[arolesbianism]

I've been thinking more abt raccoon universe Olivia again and I love her sm she's so fun imagine if your wife plagiarized years of your work and then cut you out of her life with no warning and then had the audacity to invite you to work at the company she founded on the basis of the very work she stole from you. Id have considered murder Way sooner than she did Jackie is lucky Olivia went with the thinly veiled threats route for several years before finally getting a bit bloodthirsty

[4townie]

Backstory #2: Brotherly Love

- so we know that growing up, Elijah was the perfect child and something something he and his brother used to be pretty close

- Z says they drifted apart when Elijah went off to college but the cracks in their relationship started way before that

- academically speaking, Elijah was a lot like his parents, he had excellent grades, he won academic awards, he was well liked

- Aaron on the other hand was a pretty average student and he didn't really do any extracurricular at first and he wasn’t picking up Mandarin as well as his brother was

- and his parents would brush it off like “it's fine, I'm sure you'll get better”

- but after a few times of them saying that and him not getting better he started to feel. off

- because clearly both of his parents are geniuses and so is his brother so why isn’t he?

- this is where basketball comes in

- it started off as just kind of dribbling and messing around but he would watch other kids play together and wanted to learn

- he actually learns from his godfather Khalil (old highschool friend of his parents) and he gets really good at it pretty quickly

- so now Aaron thinks he’s found his thing, the one thing he can do better than his brother (and in the back of his mind wondering why he’s treating this like a competition even)

- and everyone's excited about it and supporting him because they also think this is the thing

- and then he gets an injury and he's benched from the team. like for the rest of the season

- this is around when Olivia was really little, like she was still a baby/toddler. so now that Aaron’s at home all the time, whenever his parents are busy he’s the one watching her

- he starts singing her lullabies to put her to bed when no one’s around, his parents are kinda confused (and slightly offended) because she always falls asleep easiest with him

- Aaron kinda always knew he could sing but he never really thought too hard about it until then (but at this point he thinks it'll just be a hobby he never tells anyone about, no biggie)

- he starts getting better after the injury, instead of exercising regularly like the doctor said he starts watching his mother’s old dance videos and becomes fascinated with those (yet another new hobby he'll never tell anyone about)

- so now he’s back on the court getting used to the game again and humming & dancing around the house when no one’s looking, but regardless his parents are still super happy he’s back into the game

- at this point Elijah's in college (mind you he's like 16 years older than Olivia) and he just finished his sophomore year

- and he brings home a girl. a girl who is by all means perfect

- she’s well mannered and smart and sweet and pretty and his parents are just fawning over her

- and it’s unexplainable at the time, but all that excitement Aaron had been building up over the years, the pride he felt finally being recognized for something, and how he started to subconsciously resent his brother less for being so perfect just starts to fade

- he doesn’t know why yet but this perfect and adorable girl Elijah brought home is like a nail in the coffin to him

- so the fracture between Aaron and Elijah (that had previously been covered with a few bandages) just deepens ever so slightly

- Elijah has no idea why his brother's being so hostile towards him but he doesn’t like to push so he figures he'll come to him when he’s ready

- but then after that, basketball lost its shine

- no matter what Aaron did, he always felt like he was just second best at everything

- and he stops trying new things because let’s be real he’ll never fill the shoes his brother left behind

- so when you think about his rivalry with Robaire and how it really came to be, it kinda goes a little deeper than just getting pissed at Robaire for letting everyone feed his ego

[hellhousellc]

gonna try to explain all my feelings after watching ep 5 of the second season of tsitp stay w me...

so okay first of all i am a jeremiah girlie from day one but i have to say that man can NOT narrate in a compelling way to save his life... and all the close ups of him staring at people silently with the voice over in the background... giving demonic miley

but ANYWAYS onto the actual like... drama?

FIRST OF ALL am i the only one who remembers conrad telling belly that jeremiah seemed to "be okay" and that he "moved on" and "was dating people" ???????????? WHERE LMAO he clearly was pissed off and if you maybe would have cared enough to visit more than once and actually have a conversation with him instead of just asking if it was okay to date the girl he loved and then fleeing out of there you would have noticed?

like actually that's the part i hate the most about the show. these two teenagers were in the process of losing their mom and decided that it would be a good idea to just fuck it all up between each other and with their closest friends for shits and giggles?? and no adult had anything to say about it? they even supported it? and everyone around them was silently letting them ruin their relationship for a teenage romance??? kay????? jeremiah literally threw a fucking firework like super close to conrad and belly's heads PLEASE IS THERE ANY ADULT IN THE ROOM RN????

because like, i get crushing on the same girl. i get it you're teenagers hormones or whatever. but what person would actually like care so little about their siblings to SEE how heartbroken they are and still persue a relationship with their love interest? and not only that but also lie about how said sibling feels so the relationship can happen (since the love interest didn't want to hurt them so they were keeping their distance) and then be all lovey with said love interest in front of their sibling and act all shocked when the sibling tries and set boundaries???? you're in college bitch time to grow up!!!! you're dating a 16 yo that your brother is in love with you weirdogo listen to olivia rodrigo she says it all

but anyways that being said let me tell you that i was trying to actually like remember how much screentime conrad and belly had as an actual like pairing. not belly pining after him and him acting all moody and disgusting (= the entire first season) but actual content about the two of them forming a bond and strenghtening it. there's none of that. first few episodes we see belly with cam cameron and jeremiah and like maybe 2 minutes of interactions with conrad, and the last few ones he finally decides that she actually exists but still fucks up every single time.

and then in the second season we get their whole like weird romance during the year where he (18 yo college man) goes to her (16 yo) house and takes her away (without her mother's permission) to the beach where they proceed to have sex :) so fun! (at this point i'm BEGGING for some adult supervision) and he treats her like shit the rest of the time and acts like being with her is a burden and i KNOW his mom was dying but then just break up??? she's not your punching bag??? and then she acts SO OUT OF PLACE at the funeral they are so toxic it's infuriating!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile we see jeremiah being there for her again and again and giving her the teenage romance she (16 yo!!!!!!!!!!!) deserves and being happy and making her happy and all she does is hurt him like did you REALLY need to break up with him the same night he FOUND OUT HIS MOM HAD CANCER AND WAS DYING? and not only that but tell him you CHEATED ON HIM WITH HIS BROTHER????? (who was also unaware of their relationship)

but then after all of this jeremiah still tries to move on and steps up for his family because his older brother was too busy stuck in his own head and fucking a minor to actually care about his dying mother and his teenage brother and would only appear when he wanted to i guess hurt his brother even more by shoving his relationship with belly on his face????

and jeremiah still goes and looks for him when he decides that the best thing he can do after showing clear signs of depression is disappearing months after their mom died without giving his brother a clue or at least letting him know he's safe

so now jeremiah has to face not only his shitty brother but also the girl who broke his heart and she has the neeeeeeeeeeerve to try and start things with him ONCE AGAIN????? AND ACT SHOCKED WHEN HE TURNS HER DOWN?????????????????????

i'm having such a hard time y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't even get me started on steven "i'm in love with my girlfriend and treat the girl who likes me like shit but wait my girfriend broke up with me :( and the girl who likes me moved on and has a new boyfriend now :( i need to get her back on track IMMEDIATELY and make her obsess over me AGAIN or my dick will fall off :(" whatever his last name is

ALSO and last one stop hating the boys' cousin just because of their gender you WEIRDOS and their mom is actually right??? she has no need for the house it's only a waste of her money and if conrad and jeremiah's father is a shitty man who cheats on his dying wife and won't give them the only thing that would make them happy (and it's their money so fuck you they can do whatever with it) (and i'm sorry but am i the only one who's catching on the fact that she's clearly communicating with their dad and is not making any choices alone?? like she obviously tried and failed to sell the house to him because he's an ASSHOLE and made it abundantly clear meanwhile she's doing what she can with what she has) then maybe take it out on him and not on a woman who is doing nothing but what's best for her and her family by selling a house that holds a lot of trauma for her okay??? okay

[whatagirlwants]

I’m not trying to be confrontational and I know you want to talk about other things, but why is it vicious that he might have feelings for Olivia again? He was very mad at her for a while but then potentially being on okay terms and him catching feelings again doesn’t seem evil. Is it because you think he’s using her for clout and that these aren’t genuine feelings? Or because him having these feelings proves that he was still into her when he was with Sabrina?

no its okay u can ask if u have questions about this topic.

vicious in a sense why sabrina finds him vicious? its more than just him suddenly having feelings for olivia. i mean she sings about it: its the way he left her and the way things went down between them, the back and forth with him. he cant makeup his mind. i think theres layers to it and especially with those 2 things were complex for months even after they “brokeup”

tbh just my opinion from all this; i think s feels used cause he jumped from that relationship to having a relationship with her and then when shit hit the fan he couldnt take it and left.

i do think in some way he’s using o for attention. its no secret his tiktok comments are all jolivias any song he would post they’d always assume its for her. so in a way when he’s posting his lyrics now there or does things where it links him to O so it does mean its also for attention even if his feelings are genuine.

and we’ve seen S question him and his feelings for her in lonesome.

but yeah thats just how i see things idk id be pissed too. the guy brokeup with olivia the first time so fast so he could shoot his shot with sabrina… he wanted something from her then even if he was doing it unintentionally and actually liked her. but you dont just change your mind and leave and suddenly have confused feelings.

id be pissed too. id be like damn that guy cant make up his mind. S in lonesome she expresses feeling used like just an opportunity for him. he wanted a collab. she was more established. she has connections. she has recourses…etc

your question is a little off cause im not the one to call him vicious but i get why she felt that way or describe him as that in the song. and it was so many things in the song that she listed that made her call him vicious. the only thing she had to say about him and O is “when you’re insecure could be me could be her”. Sabrina’s hurt i think she feels like she wasted her time and its clear she never had answers thats what decode is about. theres no reason to understand things or try to fix things or understand why he left she just had to walk away too.

anyways back to ur question.. why do i find tha vicious? i just find that weird. he clearly has issues that he should’ve dealt with since 2020 instead he lead 2 girls on and had her wasting her time.

but oh well the musics good at least. it does feel like shes moved on but i dont think theres anything wrong with vicious. like i said if we just look at the situation the way it is and then listen to vicious like she has a right to be pissed off when she was and write it. cause that’s literally what happened.

[kgs10]

My love

Loona Kim Lip X 13th member (fem)

Genre- Fluff - suggestive? Warnings- cussing

Got the information about the concert in Chicago from twitter. the @ is @pttkimlip.

The tour has been a mess. The venues are small, Chuu isn't here, there are no days off in between shows, and the members are not feeling well but they still perform. They love their fans but in one particular concert, they were mean and disrespectful.

It was about 2/3 of the way through the concert, during a talking segment with the girls. Olivia had already gone and then it was your turn. You said your piece and when you stopped a few people in the front where you were standing started chanting your name ("Y/n, y/n, y/n") and it was a little delayed so it started when Kim Lip was beginning to speak. The group of 20 people kept going and Kim Lip said "Guys please" and made a hand-waving motion to quiet them down.

You were watching the whole thing go down and you started to get pissed so you put your hand on her lower back to signal for you to speak again.

"Orbits when someone is talking you be quiet. The girls worked really hard to speak to you guys in English. Let me remind you, that English isn't their first language. Not even their second." You said into the mic really loud and everyone was really silent. It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop when you stopped speaking.

"It better be this silent when Kim Lip starts talking. Got it?" You said and everybody except for the 20 people that were chanting your name started clapping. Then you made a waving motion to stop them from clapping anymore.

While you were talking Kim Lip turned around a few times to compose herself. She was clearly uncomfortable with this.

"My love. Go ahead." You said to Kim Lip while pushing your mic away from your mouth. But when she tried to talk again the group of 20 people that were chanting your name were trying to make up for it and started to chant her name. It was already too late and it just made it worst.

She looked at you and you understood what she was thinking so you gave her a nod and she walked off stage.

"I know you guys were trying to make up for it but you could have done it after she stopped talking. Or at the end of the show." You said and you saw on the monitor that it was time for the next song.

"Next song is ptt." you said while waving her hand for the music director to play the song.

After Kim Lip left, the energy was down and you didn't feel bad at all. You were known for speaking your mind if something was wrong. So it wasn't until "Hi High" when the energy was back up and like half of the nightsticks were red for the rest of the night.

So after the concert and the M&G, you got stopped by your managers and got scolded but you didn't care at all. All you cared about was making sure Kim Lip was happy.

After you got scolded you went to go check on Kim Lip. You got told that she was in the green room. You went into the green room and you could tell that she's been crying because her eyes are red and her cheeks are puffy.

Your guys' relationship is... complicated. Y'all both know you guys like each other. You both flirt with each other but you guys just haven't acted on it.

She was sitting on the couch so you kneeled in front of her and put your hands on her knees.

"I'm sorry that the majority of Americans lack common decency." You said while rubbing your thumbs on her knees.

"I'm sorry for walking off stage and having the energy be down because of that. But thank you for standing up for me. You could've been nicer about it." She said while fiddling with her fingers.

You notice that she was fiddling with her fingers so you took her hands and kissed both of her wrists. "You my love... have nothing to be sorry for. I would've walked off and so would the other girls."

She giggled when you kissed her wrist. "I've already gotten scolded for it. They deserved." You crinkled your nose.

"What do you think the netizens will say about this?" She said while playing with your fingers.

"Don't think about it ok? They don't matter. They are just people that sit behind a computer screen and judge people. While we are rich and perform in front of thousands of people... and we look hot while doing it." You said.

She laughed and you said, "There's that pretty laugh." She blushed and turned away from you.

Yeojin came to check on you guys because you have been in here talking for about 30 minutes and she saw that Kim Lip was smiling and not crying and said "Let's go eat. We are hungry."

You looked at Kim Lip and said "You heard the girl. Let's go!"

You stood and let go of her hands and grabbed her jacket for her and help her put it on her. Then you grabbed her hand and lead her out.

Kim Lip thought about you the entire night. Not even thinking about what the tabloids will say or about what orbits will say.

You guys had dinner and headed back to the hotel to pack. Luckily for you, you shared a room with Kim Lip.

You guys' had finished packing and you plopped onto the bed.

"I should be tired but I'm not. Are you tired?" You asked Kim Lip. You sat up on the bed and looked up at her on the other bed.

"No. I'm not." She looked at you. "Wanna go to the pool? I think Manager unnie said that we could go."

"Yes. Let's go." You said. So you got your bathing suit from your suitcase and told her that you will change in the bathroom and she can change out here.

You took some towels from the bathroom and made sure she was all the way dressed before you came out.

You came out of the bathroom and you didn't realize that you didn't grab a t-shirt so you came out looking so hot with your two-piece on. You were very proud of your body. You were muscular, but not too muscular.

You saw Kim Lip staring at your body and you said, "Take a picture it'll last longer."

She blushed and shook her head to get rid of any thoughts of you. "Oh shut up. Let's go."

You grabbed a t-shirt and put it on. Then you took Kim Lip's hand and intertwined them and started walking to the pool.

You got to the pool and set down your stuff and made sure nobody knew who you guys' were. Once the close was clear you took off your shirt and jumped in.

Kim Lip laughed when you jumped in and shook her head. You popped your head up and she said "You are such a kid."

You laughed and said "Come on in it's warm. Feels good."

She jumped in and splashed you when she did. "Ooh. Is that how you're going to play it?" You said once she popped her head out of the water.

You guys' started a water fight. She started to swim away. You grabbed her by the waist and turn her around to face you. "You win. You win." She said. You still had your arms around her waist and you panicked and took your hands off her. You're afraid that you went too far.

She saw how you felt when you realized that your hands were wrapped around her waist, so she took your arms back and wrapped them around her waist. Then she put her arms around your neck and wrapped her legs around your waist.

She then whispered in your ear and said, "Relax baby. You're so tense."

You had relaxed a little but her whispering in your ear sent shivers down your body. She pulled back and looked at your then you lips.

You saw that and looked at her lips. "Can I kiss you?"

She loved that you asked her first. She nodded and leaned in. It was a soft kiss at first. Then you put your hands on her lower back and pushed her against you. She moaned into your mouth. You made notice of what you just did. You smiled against her lips. You put your forehead on hers and said "I've been dying to do that for months."

"Why haven't you done it sooner?" She pulled back. You rubbed up and down her back and said "I didn't wanna ruin our relationship. I didn't wanna make you upset because we've been so busy and everyone was so tired. All I wanna do is make you happy."

She seemed happy with that answer and kissed you hard. You pulled back because you needed some air. "Wanna get out? Starting to get wrinkles."

She nodded. You got out of the pool and made your way back to the hotel room.

You got to the hotel room and said "You can go ahead and shower. I'll go next."

"Wanna join me?" She said nonchalantly. You thought about it for a second and said "Take me out to dinner first."

She laughed and said "Alright. How about this when we have a few days off let's get dinner. My treat."

"Well in that case I would love to."

She nodded and hopped in the shower. You kept yourself preoccupied on your phone looking through Twitter to see what people have said about tonight's concert. There were good and bad responses. More good than bad though. You were too immersed in your phone that you didn't even notice Kim Lip coming out of the bathroom.

"What are they saying?" She asked while drying her hair. "Some responses are good and some are bad but not too bad. There are more good responses though. They are saying that they are sorry and wish they could take it back."

"Good. I'm tired. You can take a shower now." She said

You grabbed your towel and headed to the bathroom for a shower. You were in there for a longer time to just process what just happened and man were you turned on. You can't get the sound that she made when you pushed her up against you. You wanted to wait and make it special for you guys' first time. Since it was your first time doing anything with anybody.

You got out of the shower and got dressed. You opened the door and saw Kim Lip laying on her bed. She was laughing at her phone. You loved the sound of her laugh.

"Whatcha laughing about over there?" you asked while drying your hair.

"I was looking at Twitter and somebody read your lips when you talked to me at the concert. It's cute. We can just say that you call everybody that."

You nodded. You liked to sleep with a sports bra on and shorts because you got hot in the middle of the night so when Kim Lip saw your sleeping attire she got in her head thinking about the ways you could ruin her.

You got into bed and she said "You know doctors say that cuddling with someone while you are sleeping helps you sleep better at night."

You opened up the covers for her and said "You could have just asked me if you wanted to sleep with me."

She climbed under the covers and you put your arm under her head and the other one on her arm that was draped across your stomach.

She was rubbing up and down on your abs and that made you smile.

"Goodnight my love. See you in the morning." I said and kissed her head.

[dameronology]

you have my number {bucky barnes x reader}

summary: bucky barnes' memory is a little selective, thanks to all the brainwashing - but one thing he'll never forget is his love for you, even if you're a complete & utter pain in the ass. his ass. (based on deja vu by olivia rodigro)

^even tho this fic refers to bucky as having a new gf, the reader is still g.n :)

this is spoiler free! enjoyyy

- jazz xx

Your relationship with Bucky Barnes had been nothing short of a train wreck.

And frankly, that was putting it nicely.

It had been a short & passionate affair; intense and sweet and filled with so much emotion in such high concentrations that you'd both almost drowned in it. For every euphoric moment, there had been one so low that you'd scraped your knees on the ground. Climbing a ladder to heaven whilst simultaneously digging your own graves had taken its toll on you both, and eventually, you had no choice but to go your separate ways. It had been for your own sanity, really.

So there he was, tucked away in a neat little box in your brain, labelled don't touch, ever. Even when you were completely wasted, surrounded by your friends and their respective lovers, you never dared to venture back down that particular memory lane. Forgetting all the bad parts and selectively remembering the good parts was easy enough to do, but you had the common sense to remember why you'd broken up in the first place. Because Bucky Barnes, despite being easy on the eyes and having a charming sense of humour, was a pain in your fucking ass. He managed to press every one of your buttons without even trying and his ability to bring out the best in you was completely and entirely wiped out by his tendency to bring out the worst. That wasn't even getting started on his emotional hold-ups; a can of worms neither of you had dared to open until it became the very reason for your demise.

Six months had passed, and you'd managed to expertly avoid him. You worked different missions and Sam Wilson, god bless his sweet soul, went the extra mile to ensure your paths never crossed in a professional sense. On a personal level, however? That was a little more difficult. New York City felt a lot smaller after your break up. You found yourself occasionally ducking under your hood when you saw him on the F-train, or rushing to cross the road when you saw him coming towards you on the street.

That was when you had the whole city to lose yourself in; streets and shops and little food carts to distract yourself with should you need to. Being confined to the same room for a work party was a different story entirely, and one you didn't want to read. Yet, thanks to some insistence from your boss and a little grovelling from your colleagues, you found yourself rocking up to the former Avengers tower on a Friday night.

"So you do exist outside of your work uniform?" Sam Wilson greeted you with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah - nice to see you too, Wilson."

Despite your initial attempts to elbow him in the rips, he wrestled you off of him and pulled you into a tight hug. Sam was one of your favourite colleagues and oldest friends - he'd witnessed the rise and fall of your relationship with Bucky, and been there for you both during the break-up. That had been an exhausting few days, running between your respective apartments in an attempt to offer emotional support to you both.

"D'you want some champagne?" He asked.

"I'm good, but thank-"

You froze, eyes widening at the sight of James Barnes across the room. He looked quintessentially the same, bar for the fact his hair was a little longer and he had a fresh, pink scar under his left eye. Having ditched his usual attire for a black blazer, he looked good. Annoyingly so, in fact. It made you secretly grateful that you'd chosen to dress up a little more than usual too.

"- on second thoughts." You took the flute of champagne from Sam, also grabbing a shot of vodka from the same trey. It was gone in seconds.

"Need I ask?" Sam gave you a playful frown. His brown eyes followed your gaze over his shoulder, landing on the man you'd been staring at. "Ah. I need not."

"Sorry." You murmured. "We haven't actually spoken since, y'know."

"Since you had a break-up that made Ross and Rachel look good?"

"I don't think Bucky has ever seen Friends." You quipped.

"His loss." Sam shrugged. "You should talk to him."

"Nope." You snorted. "Absolutely not. I don't even know if he's moved on."

"Judging by the pretty blonde on his arm, I think he has," Sam replied. "Would you look at that! They're headed right for us."

That was a lot of information to process at once. You would have needed a week alone for your poor, tired brain to deal with the fact that Bucky had someone else on his arm, and a further three days to big yourself up enough to talk to him. Alas, that was not the case tonight. Instead, you had about five seconds between Sam finishing his sentence and your ex-boyfriend reaching you. It was just as well you found the energy within that timeframe to down your champagne.

You could see the woman on his arm clearer now. To give credit where credit was due, she stunning. She looked like the sort of girl who smelt of strawberries and Chanel, and grew her own vegetables on the fire escape. The kind of person you swore to be with every New Year that came, but quickly ditched after a week, returning to drinking coffee from the Starbucks under your apartment rather than going to the organic, vegan place a few blocks over. There was an ethereal glow about her and fuck. You were mad.

"Sam!" Bucky called out to his friend - for a minute, you thought he was ignoring you, before you realised he genuinely didn't recognise you. Your name rolled off his tongue with a tone of uncertainty, as though he was learning a new language and still learning how to pronounce things. "Wow. You look...different."

"So do you." You shot back. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Katie." He awkwardly smiled. "My...my girlfriend."

"It's nice to meet you." You forced an equally pained grin, taking her hand in a shake.

"How do you and Bucky know each other?" She asked.

"Work." Bucky quickly said. You thinned your eyes at him, almost in disbelief.

"So you're an Avenger like these two?" Katie asked, clearly not picking up on the tension. "That's so cool."

"Not in an official capacity." You replied. "But they'd be fucked without me."

--

The night only got longer from there, really.

There wasn't enough champagne in the world to help the void in your soul. It was a gaping wound that Bucky Barnes had both filled and widened - and tonight, he was doing the latter. It sounded as though him and Katie were having a grand ol' time of it. From the parts of the conversation that you'd actually bothered to listen to, you'd gathered that she'd arrived in New York from London just over three months ago. That meant she had a fucking accent. Of course she did. It made everything she said a thousand times more interesting.

"We were in Paris, in this little cafe. What was it called, babe? Maison de vie?"

"Maison de l'amour, doll." Bucky corrected her. It had only sounded right when he was calling you that.

Your eyes shot up from your drink, immediately staring daggers at them both. The slimy bastard. You had been the one to show him that place. You'd been in Paris for a mission, and after realising it was your four-month anniversary, you'd taken him there for pancakes. It had been a slow morning, filled with hazy eyes and pink skies, and it had ended with him dropping the L-bomb for the first time. The photo you'd taken of Bucky, sat beside a pile of pancakes the same size of him and with whipped cream on his chin, had been your phone background until the day you broke up.

"I've been there." You didn't break away from his gaze, holding cold blue eyes in a trance that he found to be almost suffocating.

"Oh, nice!" Katie beamed. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah." You sniffed. "The company was shit, though."

"Oh, man." She replied. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault." You gave her a sweet smile - to Bucky, it was a look of venom. "So, tell me more about your trip to Paris."

He quickly cleared his throat. "We didn't do much. Just a weekend getaway-"

"- are you forgetting that we saw Billy Joel?" Katie cut him off with a laugh. "The Billy Joel!"

"Right." It looked as though his mouth had gone completely dry.

"He told me he loved me for the first time to Uptown Girl-"

"-excuse me for a moment." You shoved your glass in her hand, before backing away from your little huddle.

Your brain was focused on getting away and only on getting away. The room suddenly felt a thousand times hotter, and a thousand times smaller too, as though the walls were closing in on you. Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if they'd just collapsed around you and swallowed you fucking whole. Anything to get away from this situation.

Making a beeline for the balcony doors, you elbowed them open and stepped outside. The cold air of the rooftop gardens was a welcome contrast to the stuffy indoors, biting, night air hitting your face like an icy hug. The sounds of the city rung below you - sirens and yells and tourists - and tangled into the faint sound of the music, all parts of a world that your brain was working overtime to block out.

You focused on the city instead, using the bright lights of the surrounding buildings to anchor you to reality. None of it really even made sense - you were over Bucky. Had been for a long time. It was just the thought of him doing all the things that he'd done with you, with someone else. It made you feel a little bad for Katie, too.

"I was going to tell you about Billy Joel."

You glanced over your shoulder, giving a derivative snort. "Piss off, Bucky."

"I'm serious." He ignored your demand, cautiously approaching you.

"I brought you those tickets!" You turned around to face him. "We were meant to go together. Billy Joel was our thing."

"We broke up!' He reminded you. "Like I said, I was going to tell you that we went together-"

"- I don't care." You cut him off. "I genuinely don't care."

"That was a lot of storming off for someone who doesn't care."

"Okay, maybe I care a little bit." You huffed, taking a seat on a bench. "It's not even that you're with someone else, it's that you're doing all the things we did. The nicknames, the pancake place, the concert."

"I..." Bucky took a seat beside you, pondering for a moment.

"And declaring your love for someone to Uptown Girl is fucking weird." You muttered.

"Do you have a better suggestion?"

"Vienna, obviously."

"You're such a pain in the ass." Bucky replied. "But for what it's worth, I wasn't thinking of Katie in that moment."

You glanced up at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"D'you remember that morning when we were in New Orleans?" He asked. "And we had a few hours to kill before our flight, so you started dancing around the hotel room to Uptown Girl?"

"I remember." You softly smiled.

"That was when I realised I loved you." He admitted. "I was replaying that in my head at the concert, and it just kinda came out, and Katie heard."

"Damn." You muttered. "Sucks to be her, huh?"

"I like Katie." He said. "Truth be told, doll, I'm still stuck in the past a little bit. With you, and with what we had."

"We fucking hated each other by the end, Buck."

"I know, but I mean all the stuff before that." He explained. "You were the first person who saw me for who I am and not what I've done. The first person that actually made me feel loved and worthy."

"I do try."

He lightly elbowed you "I'm serious. I think I'm just projecting my longing for what we had onto my current relationship."

"You're being painfully honest tonight." You observed. "It's fucking weird."

"Who taught me to be painfully honest?"

"Right." You rolled your eyes. "So this is how Frankenstein felt when he created his monster."

"You're the worst," Bucky muttered. "I genuinely am sorry, though. I shouldn't be recycling our memories. I should make new ones.'

Dusting off your trousers, you stood up. "You're right."

"Thank you, though."

"For what?"

"For finding me first," He replied, "and for teaching me what love is."

"Well, if you ever need to be reminded? You have my number."

[tinyboxxtink]

"....So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 8*

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

OHEMGEEEEE!!! A new chapter!

I appreciate the patience this week/last week guys, It's certainly been-- challenging. And it's not over yet, but I did want to get you a chapter since you all have been so understanding and lovely.

That being said I really am here just to break your heart with some good ol' angsty angst. MWAHAHAHHAAHA.

Enjoy.

I may try and put out another chapter tonight, but we will only be getting to 10 with this one I'm 90% sure so I want them to be good chapters.

Tag List

@agentcable

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

@word-scribbless

@storiesofsvu

@believinghurts

==========

“Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down,” An officer told him.

“No!” William screamed. “That man kidnapped my wife--”

“She’s NOT your wife!” Rafael cut him off. “You can verify that, she’s his ex-wife,”

“How ‘bout I verify my foot up your ass, dickhead?!” Lewis screamed.

“Lovely, Lewis,” Rafael rolled his eyes with a sarcastic laugh.

“You son of a--” Lewis lunged for Rafael but an officer held him back.

“BOTH OF YOU, GET OUT,” The nurse escorted the two men to the waiting room. “Family only!”

“But she’s my--”

“EX” Rafael finished. “And I’m her--”

“BOYFRIEND,” Lewis snarled. “Not HUSBAND,”

“I’m more concerned about the you're blood covered in, Mr.--” A female officer interjected.

“Barba,” Rafael finished.

“It’s my wi--” Lewis started, but saw Rafael’s eyes glaring at him. “Y/N’s blood, my ex wife,”

“And exactly why are you covered in her blood Mr. Barba?” The officer continued to question him.

“Because I--” He began to explain how he had rescued you from that monster.

“BECAUSE HE RAPED HER!!” Lewis screamed again.

“Alright, Mr.--”

“Loomis,” William stuck out his hand. “Billy Loomis,”

“That is BULLSHIT,” Rafael snapped. “His name is William Lewis, look him up,”

“Alright, you come with me, you go with Cooper,” The woman officer instructed her partner to take Lewis the opposite direction.

“Fine with me,” Rafael grumbled as the other cop dragged Lewis away.

“Alright so why don’t you start from the beginning, Mr. Barba,” She pulled out an iPad from her back holster.

“....How far do you mean, officer?” Rafael asked as they sat down in two waiting room chairs.

“Why don’t you call me Sherrie,” She softened her tone with a small smile. Ah, so she was going to play good cop with him.

“How far do you think will help me understand this?” She continued.

“Well,” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s complicated,”

“....How so?” Sherrie raised an eyebrow. She had that look on her face; the same one Olivia got when she didn’t believe a word a perp was saying. Great.

“Well first of all, that man is not who he says he is,” He pointed towards where Lewis had been taken. “His name is William Lewis, and he is a wanted rapist and murderer in several states, including New York,”

“Ah, New York,” Sherrie nodded. “Is that where you're from?”

“Uh, yes, New York City in fact,” Rafael clarified. Why did she say it like that? She used a tone that he should be using. That disdain, that condescending tone. That just pissed Rafael off even more.

“I see,” Sherrie nodded as she jotted down things on her iPad.

“Look just because I’m from New York and you people--”

“Us people?” Sherrie gave him a glare.

“...You all,” Rafael changed his tune. “Think ‘down’ of us New Yorkers--”

“Oh I believe it’s the other way around, Mr. Barba,” Sherrie scowled. Well, she did have a point.

“....Lewis lives there too,”

“Really?” Sherie raised an eyebrow. “Because I just searched his name in our database and Mr. LOOMIS is a non-offender, born and bred New Jersian.

“That is a load of shit!” Rafael stood up. “I am telling you, he is a psychopath. He has several identities across the god damn country, and he’s--”

“Not on trial here, Mr. Barba,” Sherrie finished.

“And I am?” Rafael scoffed.

“We’ll see,” She gave him a look.

“Por el amor de Dios....” Rafael muttered, along with a few other obscenities in spanish. “Look just call the NYPD. Talk to Sergeant Benson of the SVU Unit” Rafael instructed her.

“SVU hmm?” Sherrie raised an eyebrow as she typed.

“Yes!” Rafael cried. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I am the Assistant District Attorney of New York City! I would never, ever hurt anyone. Especially not Y/N. I love her,”

“Right,” Sherrie nodded. “Alright well I’ll call her after we’re done here, okay?”

“Sure you will,” Rafael muttered with a roll of his eyes.

“Do you really wanna start an attitude with me, Mr. Barba?”

“Rafael,” He exhaled. “My name is Rafael,” The more she used ‘Mr. Barba’ the more he felt he actually was on trial. “And I’m sorry, I just-- I’m scared,”

“For you or for her?” Sherrie questioned.

“For her!” Rafael got excited again. “Lewis raped her and tore her rectum, then went and took a shower after haphazardly bandaging her, like it was no big fucking deal!”

“And you know this, how?” She asked in a suspicious manner.

“Because she called me,” He continued. “She called me earlier and told me he had her hostage,”

“He was holding her hostage?” Sherrie continued to use a suspicious tone.

“Yes! And I can prove it!” Rafael suddenly remembered the picture Lewis had so cockily sent him.

The one of him holding a gun pressed to your back. The image would haunt him forever. He went to get his phone, but it wasn’t in his pocket. Shit, it must still be in the car. He had hastily dropped it as soon as he told you he was coming in to get you.

“Shit,” He muttered.

“Is there a problem?” Sherrie asked.

“I have a photo on my phone, but I must have left it in my car,”

“Conveniently,” She nodded.

“NO!” Rafael stomped his foot. “Look if you’ll just let me go get it--”

“Right,” Sherrie scoffed sarcastically with a laugh. “Let me just let you ‘run out to your car’,”

“You can follow me, escort me, whatever,” He huffed. “I have nothing to hide,”

“Alright then,” Sherrie followed Rafael outside the hospital doors, but his car wasn’t there.

“Shit,” He muttered. “They must have towed it because I just parked in the ambulance bay and got Y/N help,”

“Oh, mmhmm, I’m sure that must be what happened,” She rolled her eyes.

“This is insane,” Rafael half laughed at the absurdity of the situation. He felt like he was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. He was being treated like a convict while Lewis was the golden boy of Jersey. This was a nightmare.

“Can we just--” Rafael ran his hands through his hair, trying to think of something, anything that would clear his name.

“Can you just call the NYPD, please?” He begged Sherrie. “I swear to you, Olivia Benson will clear my name and tell you all about William Lewis,”

Sherrie looked at him for a long moment, debating whether to cut him some slack. On the one hand, he was covered in your blood, and had brought you in. Also, he was from New York City, so God knows how slick he was. On the other hand, he did look genuinely scared and pitiful, and if he had the balls to ask her to actually call the NYPD, maybe he was telling the truth.

“Alright Rafael, I’ll humor you,” She finally nodded, typing NYPD into Google. She got the number and began dialing it, waiting for someone to answer.

“Hi, yes this is Officer Reagan of the Jersey PD-- Is there an Olivia Benson there?” Sherrie asked as she gave Rafael a side eye. There was silence for a moment, then she began to speak.

“Hi yes, Sergeant Benson. This is-- Right. Do you know Rafael Barba?”

“Mmmhmm, well he’s here at Jersey County Hospital having brought in a woman who had clearly been assaulted, and he--” Sherrie stopped as Olivia began speaking very fast and loudly.

“Look ma’am there’s no reason to-- Yes her husband-- alright her ex husband, Billy Loomis-- Alright allegedly this ‘William Lewis’. Whoa there ma’am-- Sergeant, there’s no need to get hysterical,” Rafael chuckled to himself as he watched Sherrie get chewed out by Olivia.

“...Well yes he is here, but I really don’t feel comfortable having you take him into custody, Sergeant. This isn’t your jurisdiction, so I’m sorry but you have no claim on Billy, or William, or whoever,” Sherrie was getting fed up with Olivia’s attitude.

“Uh yes, that is so, sergeant. If you’d like to take it up with my sergeant, feel free to come down here and-- well fine! Good, we’ll be here. No I will not be letting Mr. Barba go, he’s still a-- you know what, I’m sick of this. You wanna come down here and raise a fit for your man here, go right ahead,” Sherrie hung up the phone and looked at a now smirking Rafael.

“I told you,” He smirked.

“Yeah well you’re not going anywhere until this ‘Olivia Benson’ gets here. Which I assume will be pretty soon,”

“Your assumption is spot on,” Rafael chuckled to himself. If there was one thing he could count on, Olivia would come running to his defense at the drop of a hat.

-----------------

Meanwhile

“Look I’m telling you, that man abducted my ex wife in the middle of the night and raped her,” Lewis was scrambling.

“And how do you know this, Mr. Loomis?” Officer Cooper asked.

“Because I was there,” He explained.

“And why were you at your ex-wife’s house?” Cooper asked skeptically.

“We--” William was thinking on the fly.

He was still fuming from the balls on Barba trying to rescue you, and agitated that he got the male cop who wasn’t so easily manipulated as a woman would’ve been.

“We were reconciling,” He lied.

“Reconciling?” The officer raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I told her earlier today that I had made a mistake leaving her and my family, and that I wanted to come back home,” He explained. “And then I offered to pick up our girls from school and meet her at home, while she broke it off with that bastard,”

“Broke it off?” The officer questioned him. “So they are in a relationship?”

“...Yeah,” He muttered.

“So how exactly did her boyfriend kidnap her, if she went to him willingly?”

“....He got pissed when she tried to break it off,” Lewis was spinning a thread of lies now. “He called me and told me that if he couldn’t have her, nobody could,”

“I see,” Cooper nodded, typing on his iPad

“So when she came home to me and the girls, he followed her. We didn’t know until he broke in and kidnapped Y/N,” Lewis now focused on keeping his ‘concerned husband’ act. He was pretty sure he had a good story going.

“Mmm hmm,” The officer nodded as he continued typing. He wasn’t even acknowledging him; that was making Lewis’s blood boil. He liked being in control; he hated being ignored.

“Look can I check on my wife, please?” He tried going for the sympathy card again, knowing he wasn’t getting anywhere with this guy.

“Legally she’s not your wife anymore, Mr. Loomis,” The officer finally looked up to Lewis once more. “So technically you have no legal right to see her right now, as you’re not her current family,”

“I AM HER FAMILY GOD DAMMIT!!!” Lewis screamed, losing his cool. He quickly panicked and dialed it back. “I mean, she’s always going to be my family. Her and my precious girls,”

“....Right,” The officer nodded, not amused by his little temper tantrum. He had seen guys like this before; controlling, hot tempered husbands. He had grown up with a man just like that; it was one of the reasons he became a cop.

“And where exactly are your ‘precious girls’, Mr. Loomis?” He added. Guys like these, they lost their heads when they felt cornered. Lewis probably hadn’t even remembered they existed.

“...They’re at home, asleep,” He said softly.

“Alone?” Cooper raised an eyebrow.

“We live like two blocks from here officer,” Lewis lied again, having indeed forgotten about the girls. “I didn’t want to scare them, they’re asleep in their comfy beds, totally oblivious to this nightmare,”

“And exactly how old are they?” Cooper gave him a look.

“...Old enough to be alone for a bit,” Lewis shrugged, hoping he’d take that as an answer.

“Well, at the risk of ‘worrying’ them, I think I’d better send an officer over there to check on them, don’t you think?” The officer asked in a accusatory tone.

Lewis really did want that, he was actually starting to worry about them. He actually had told Maggie that you felt sick and were in your room, and he was going out to get you medicine. But this guy was already clearly skeptical. If he told this officer where you actually lived, he was going to accuse him of child endangerment.

“...Mr. Loomis?” The officer called to him, but he was busy plotting an escape route.

Lewis glanced around the room, gauging how many people were in the vicinity. It was a bunch of pathetic patients with random injuries and illness’s waiting on a doctor, some ER nurses, a receptionist, the two cops, and him and Barba. Then he glanced at the gun in the officer’s holster, a plan formulating in his head. He wanted you all to himself, that was for sure. But you and your fucking white knight might have just outsmarted him for that to happen. Unless... the line you had said earlier about the girls being leverage. He hated the idea of exploiting the girls like that, but he was not going back to prison, and he was not losing those girls.

“Mr. Loomis!” The officer repeated in a louder, angrier tone. Lewis finally looked at him with a very sinister smile, eerily calm.

“...Ah officer, maybe you should take care of that first,” Lewis pointed to something behind him. As soon as the officer turned to see what he was talking about, Lewis yanked the gun from his holster and fired two shots into his head.

--------------

Across the room, Rafael and Officer Sherrie immediately flinched and ducked at the sound of the loud bang from the gun. People began screaming and running around in panic, most of them heading out the front doors of the hospital. Rafael’s eyes widened in horror as he realized Lewis had gotten a gun and had just murdered an officer. He turned to Officer Reagan who looked at him in shock, and a bit in remorse. She knew she had gotten the situation wrong, and now her partner had paid the ultimate price for it.

“Lewis, look just calm down--” Rafael tried to reason with Lewis, but the manic look in his eyes showed him he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“Why don’t YOU calm down, counselor?” Lewis smirked as he raised the gun to Rafael. If there was one sure fire way to ultimately punish you for trying to run off with the do gooder, it would be getting rid of him altogether.

“No, Lewis don’t--” Rafael barely got out a plea for his life before Lewis had shot a bullet into his chest. More people screamed, and Officer Reagan rushed to help him.

Lewis took this opportune moment to run out of the hospital. He sprinted into the parking lot and picked the first car he saw to break into and hotwire, speeding out of the parking lot back to your place. He had to get the girls before cops found out where you lived. He’d figure out where to go from there.

From inside an examination room, you had started to come to as the IV bags of blood began to fill your system back up. You had barely had a chance to sit up before you heard the first shot go off. You immediately knew it was Billy, he had found you. You saw the doctor and nurses that were in the room with you slam the door shut to keep you all safe from Billy. You could see through a window into the lobby just enough to see Rafael with his hands up, before Billy put a bullet in him. You watched in horror as Rafael slumped to the ground, and a woman officer rushing to help him.

“NO!!!!!!” You screamed, trying desperately to get off the table.

The doctor and nurses held you down and slapped hands over your mouth to keep you quiet, terrified Lewis would come in there next. But to their relief he dashed out the door, and the hands were removed from your mouth. However they kept you pinned down so that you wouldn’t pull your IV’s out, inadvertently letting blood gush out all over the patient room.

You watched helplessly as nurses swarmed Rafael and rushed him off to another part of the hospital altogether.

What kind of nightmare had you woken up to?

[marchtomydrums]

Jealousy 11

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

*not my picture.*

Alex’s POV:

I make it to the warehouse knowing this is the location. I don't see anyone on the docks so I head to the door. Before I left the penthouse I text Olivia telling her to bring me food. It’s weird I know. However, if Claudia found out someone was following me there was no telling what she'd do. So I left breadcrumbs per se for Olivia to follow. God, I hope she figures it out. Two men are blocking the door, I tell them why I'm here and they walk me in. The warehouse is dark, cold, and wet. I look around to see if I can spot the two of you but I don't see anything.

“Alex, I see you got my note,” Claudia says. I turn around to see her making her way down the stairs.

“Yes, I did. Where are they?” I ask.

“Now. Now. We need to have a chat before that. “ she chuckles.

She makes her way over to me brushing the hair out of my face, her hand coming to cradle my cheek.

Snatching my face back I shout “I'm not fucking around Claudia! Where are they?!”

“I assure you they're fine for now. “

“What does that mean?”

“They will be fine as long as you cooperate. Now when we go into this room, we're going to play a little game. You will play or there will be consequences. Do you understand me?”

I'm still unsure about all of this but I need to make sure the two of you are okay. So I slightly nod my head yes. Claudia leads me up the stairs to a door. She opens it and allows me to enter first and she shuts the door behind me. It's dark, Claudia walks to the middle of the room and pulls the string of the overhead light. My eyes adjust and I see Claudia standing in the middle of the two of you. Both bound to chairs and mouths tapped over. Both moving your chairs to reach for me. I run over but Claudia stops me just short of you. “No Alex we have to play the game,” Claudia said her palm pressing into my chest pushing me backward.

“What game?!” I ask annoyed.

“You remember all those years ago when you said if it came to someone else or Casey you'd always pick Casey?”

“Yes.”

“Well, darling here’s your chance. So we're going to play a nice little game of would you rather. I ask you a question if you don't give me an answer I get to decide. How's that sound?”

“Screw you! Let them go!” I shout.

Claudia calls for the men. They come into the room with a chair and rope. Next thing I know I'm being tied to the chair and I'm in front of the two of you.

“I knew you wouldn't play fair. Nonetheless, let's get started, shall we?” Claudia asked me.

“So Alex would you rather let Casey get the first hit or Y/N?” she asked as her men stood on either side of the two of you ready to do as I say.

I shake my head “neither!”

“Oh, honey. No see that's not how this works. Either you answer or I do.”

Claudia waits for a couple of seconds before she answers for me. “Y/N gets first hit.”

“No!” I scream just in time to see the man's fist connect with your stomach. Tears pouring out of your eyes as he hits you repeatedly.

“Stop! Please stop!” I cry out.

Claudia holds up her hand stopping his assault.

“Next question. Would you rather Casey get hit or Y/N? These hits will be face only so choose wisely.” she asks.

Tears are flowing down my face as I shake my head. “Please. Please. Just hit me. Please.”

“Choose!” Claudia screams.

“I CAN'T!”

“YOU WILL! CHOOSE!”

“CASEY!” I scream. The man beside her starts to wail on her. I can see the tears in her eyes and the blooding falling from her face. I scream begging them to stop. You are kicking and screaming in the chair trying to get to Casey. Finally, Claudia tells him to stop. I see Casey look my way with Swollen eyes.

“I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry.” I tell her.

“Would you rather Casey or Y/N to get cut?”

I look up at Claudia tears in my eyes.

“I’m not playing this game with you anymore! Let them go. Take me! I’m the one you want! I hurt you not them.”

“Oh honey I know that. But see this hurts you and that’s what I want. Now, which one will it be? Hmm?”

I drop my head praying that Olivia shows up soon. I can’t do this I can’t choose. But Claudia chooses for me anyway. I ran out of time when I heard her call your name. I look up to see the man rip you skirt open. He grabs a knife and slices you from you inner thigh down to your knee. You scream through the tape. Blood gushing down your leg, Casey is screaming through her tap. I beg Claudia to stop to end this. Wrong thing for me to say.

“You want to end this?” She asked me. I nod my head yes. She walks away to the other side of the room. She comes back with a gun in hand.

“Okay, this is how this goes. So one of you will be raped by my friend James here while the other two watch. Then we he’s done my other friend over here will kill whomever you didn’t pick. So you’ll be left with one girl who you let get brutally raped and the other will be dead. How’s that sound? “ she says not really asking me.

“So Alex who will it be?”

I look between the two of you. Both looking back at me. Casey and I locked eyes, having a conversation with no words. I don’t want to choose. I look back at you, and tell you I love you. I look back at Claudia who is waiting patiently for my answer.

“Casey gets raped and Y/N dies. “ I say quietly.

“Wow, so even now you choose Casey. This poor girl loves you and yet you’d let her die.” Claudia questions. I say nothing just looking back at Casey. Claudia sees and stops for a minute. Anger crosses her face as she starts to understand.

“Oh, I get it! You don’t want her to be hurt. You two think she’ll suffer less if she’s just killed. Is that what this is? “ she asked. Again no one said anything.

“Hmm, okay. Boys grab the girl. “

“No! I decided.”

“I don’t care what you decided. “

“Please Claudia!! She had nothing to do with this! Please!!” I scream.

The man unties you from the chair and slam you down on the table. Casey and I are screaming has he rips your clothes off. I’m trying everything to get my hands untied. Claudia watches my face the whole time laughing taking joy in our cries. She tells the man to untape your mouth so I can hear you scream. You scream for me, for Casey. It’s all too much. I can’t do this. I drop my head for a split second. The next thing I know the man that was once on top of you is now lying on the ground.

“NYPD! Hands up now!!” Olivia and Elliot scream with their guns drawn. Elliot and Fin go to handcuff Claudia and the other man standing next to Casey. Olivia unties me and goes to untie Casey. I run to you, Casey not far behind me. Your laying on the table sobbing. I lift your body up so Casey can untie your hands.

“I’m so sorry my love. I’m so sorry.” I sob as I hold you tight. Casey is hugging you from behind all three of us crying.

“Did he rape you? “ Casey asked.

“No” you shook your head “but it was close. Too close.” You tell her.

I look between the two of you, hugging and kissing, and I keep telling both of you over and over how sorry I am.

“It’s okay Alex. It’s not your fault.” You tell me.

“Yeah, clearly the bitch is crazy.” Casey says.

Olivia makes her way over to us telling me EMTs are here to check you and Casey out. The two of you walk together to the ambulance. Olivia looks at me and leans in to hug me.

“I’m glad we showed up when we did.” She tells me.

“I’m glad you knew to follow my trail.” I tell her with a small smile.

“Me too.” She says softly.

She walks me over to the EMT’s so I can be checked out as well. Of course we will all have to go to the hospital so they can take pictures, and clean our wounds. Looks like you’ll need some stitches for the cut on your leg. Overall, we’re all okay. And I can’t wait to get back home.

I look at Casey and she walks straight to me and holds me tight. I kiss her head, her cheeks, her lips. She chuckles and goes in to hug me again.

“Casey, I’m sorry I said your name. I’m sorry I played her stupid game. I wanted her to take me. “ I try to tell her.

Casey shakes her head and shushed me.

“Alex, it’s okay. I understand. We had to play the game either way. I know that was hard for you. I would of rather you pick me than y/n for the rape. She knew that. She knew we were protecting her that’s why Claudia was so pissed. She wasn’t mad because you chose for me to live. She was angry that we would rather y/n die than to go through that kind of pain. She realized that it didn’t have to do with me, that’s not why you didn’t pick her all those years ago. She realized how much you love y/n. That you would rather her die than to go through something so horrific.”

“ I didn’t want you to go through that either.” I tell her.

“I know honey I know. But I couldn’t live with myself however long that may of been if I had let them hurt her like that. “

“I couldn’t either.” I lean back in to hug Casey. We hold each other for a few minutes while we cry. I lean back just enough to kiss her one last time. I take a deep breath and let it out.

“Alright. Let’s go check on our girl.” I say with a smile as we head back over to you.

[cloveroctobers]

a smidge of in depth for this one...how they react to someone saying they’d die for them.

“then perish.” — I placed patience and Layla here?

Patience: she’s the character that doesn’t seem to sugarcoat anything. She can be very vocal, blunt, and sometimes sarcastic. (I get Sag, Scorpio, and Aries energy or maybe even Capricorn? Who knows that’s another topic lol.) However when it comes to relationships...if she’s in one of those moods where she doesn’t want to hear it or wants to keep SOMETHING to herself and feels that the person who is making this statement to her is being overtop by saying such!!! she’ll probably turn around and say something along those lines just to say it, not really fully meaning it but said it because she’ll know that’ll get you/them to shut up. Now if it’s someone who said this to her and she’s pissed/dislikes their character then she wants to see if they’re really about it. Patience is ride or die—that much is obvious ex.) when it came to her tossing the gun to save Coop’s ass.

Layla: she might be sweet but she’s got some spice in her. Layla can be a mean girl and she knows words hurt. Sticks and stones don’t mean shit around here. Again these all depend on the situation but I do feel like if this was out of hurt then Layla’s going to say this to make sure the person knows she’s serious when she says this. When she’s hurt she wants everyone else to feel what the hell she’s feeling. Which can be a unhealthy trait but that’s why I placed her here. Layla can take her hurt out on anyone in her path since she doesn’t know how to handle her pain due to her own neglect from her father.

“you will” — I placed Chris, Coop, and Jordan here

Chris: I feel like Chris will say this nonchalantly not really believing the person thinking they are just saying this to be saying it. He thinks nothing of it, actually finding it amusing more than anything. It’s more of a question mark with a dry tone more than a demand...unless you’ve pissed him off. We’ve seen pissed off chris and it probably doesn’t feel nice to be on the receiving end. Then in that case it’s more of a prove it statement which is also insane. But I’m sure this meme isn’t that serious to begin with 😂

Coop: we’ve already seen how that went with her and Spence. If someone said this to her she’s immediately confused and giving you/them a “wtf” glance. “You will—what? I’m not asking you to do all that. I’m not asking anybody to do anything for me, especially dyin’! I know you dropped something on the ground a few seconds ago and clearly, it’s yo mind!”

Jordan: this guy! My main man’s on the other hand...took me a minute to place him somewhere accurately. I feel like he can also fit in “I’d die for you first”= If he’s talking about Simone or someone he’s in love with, he might say this but will be shitting himself if that time actually comes literally speaking ofc. and “cool” = if he’s being asshole Jordan from season 1. Anyways, Jordan can be stubborn and impulsive (which is why I think he’s got Taurus and Aries energy) so again it depends on who exactly is saying this to him. Jordan is a guy about action so if you’re saying this to him, he wants you to not only mean it but show him how much you care. This is a demand.

“please don’t” — Olivia, Simone, Kia, and Darnell are taking this spot for me

Olivia: she’s been close to death before twice and daily with her addiction + witnessing Spencer take a bullet before and to have someone else say this to her is absolutely triggering so don’t say it or do it pls because she cannot and will not handle/cope well

Simone: she’s confused and will literally beg because she doesn’t want that on her Conscience. Even if it’s not that serious she doesn’t play with the idea of death. There’s too much to live for and she’s thankful that the person thinks so highly of her but she values life and knows she’s probably worth it but she never wants to have any control over anyone’s life especially when it comes to that aspect

Kia: similar to Simone. She’s looking at you/them crazy and asking if they’re okay? She might even laugh shortly about it. She’s aware of her worth but no one should have to end their journey in this lifetime over her. She appreciates it but it’s a no from her regardless

Darnell: “why tho?” Is basically his expression or his words. Then if he finds that they truly mean it he’s flattered but would much rather have them around to enjoy their time together. He already lost someone pretty important to him before (Cory) so he’s a little upset by what was said. He likes to keep the people he cares about close to him as possible even if they don’t mean it literally

“cool” — JJ, Shawn, and Vanessa

JJ: it’s more of a thrilled “cool!” Like wow you care that much about me that you’re willing to not only do that but eventually say it? Words of affirmation is JJ’s thing okay?! Automatic respect from JJ!!! If this is said; and it’s most likely mutual from him. Are we even surprised?

Shawn: he doesn’t believe it. It’s brushed off and he’s probably distracted doing something but it doesn’t really click until it’s quiet and he realizes. “You’ve been listening to that song by The Weeknd again huh?” He jokes but still appreciates them/you for saying such

Vanessa: it’s more a smile and shrug. She clearly heard what was said and she’s like “IKTR.” It’s hinted that the girl is confident and likes for others to be the same and to stand in their truth. Which is why she’s so drawn to Asher (😒 girl says it a thousand times since we’ve met her) and JJ. So if this is said to her it boosts her ego even if they’re just saying it to get on her good side

“I’d die for you first” — Spencer & Asher

Spencer: this is no shock. Do I even have to explain lol? Coop. Olivia. Spencer is a protector yet it can come off as a super hero complex. He can’t save everybody. But he will for damn sure try. That’s his character. He cares for his people and will do anything for them. And anyone. If that means death too then so be it.

Asher: again it depends on the relationship with this person. If it’s someone he truly cares about I think he’ll say it before he actually means it? Asher is still finding himself as a person (as they all are) and he seems to always search or either find what he can get from someone else? Ex.) Layla and Olivia + potential love interest with Vanessa and I don’t think it’s really intentional per say but if someone shows him a little bit of attention or that they care he can cling onto that (Leo energy? again probably a issue from his parents) quite quickly. So he might say it because it he felt like it was the right thing to say in that moment. Or if he’s genuinely in love, then this is what he’ll say because he seems like he can be passionate in relationships idk about him

A/N: Fin! Goodnight! That’s my writing for today. Agree or disagree?

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x07 Review

The Field Trip was a campy ep that recaptured some of the charm of S1. Let’s dig in!

S2 has often struggled with taking itself too seriously but finally we got some good campy fun that reminded me of why S1 was so great. North High finally come into their own as villains. The Howie reveal was very well done, poor Kourtney inadvertently being the source of the leaks. I can’t tell if Antoine’s accent is bad on purpose or not but he was funny tonight when he dragged Big Red and I loved how forward he was with Ashlyn. It’s good that the trio of new characters finally feel like they’re part of a larger plot rather than being somewhat random additions to the cast.

Lily continues to act like she’s on Glee which is exactly the right energy for the role. The stick to the stuff you know line was great as was Seb’s bop to the top retort. North High clearly won the dance off though Gina being in a skirt limited her. Lily was doing it with bad intentions but she was absolutely right that the rose song was a dig at Ricky and didn’t fit the musical and that they’d be disqualified for performing it. Miss Jenn should have already known they’d be disqualified for adding it and Ricky should have already been able to tell that the song was about him. I think it’s more and more likely that Lily is the party crasher who Ricky re-evaluates in 2x12 and she could well be the unexpected face time call he gets in 2x10.  

It took 7 eps but we finally got an ep where Gina wasn’t upset over Ricky and thank god for that; the constant angst was sucking the life out of her plot. Of course, the reason she wasn’t going through it is because she was spending her time with EJ. I think this ep should put to rest any notion of Portwell just being platonic. Some people are still clinging to Matt’s interview where he refers to EJ and Gina as friends but he was clearly being misleading, even if nothing else happens it’s clear that Gina is not just a friend to EJ. I’ve seen people try and claim that Gina and EJ are like siblings with each other or that they’re practically related because Gina is roommates with EJ’s cousin as if there’s some sort of Westermarck effect by proxy but family members don’t pretend to be dating. 

The morning show was a lot of fun and the fake dating was cute. In contrast to the last time they fake dated back in 1x05 we can see how much happier and more comfortable they are with each other now. Notably they had EJ circle back to it well after it happened which led to Gina’s line about everything going back to normal which is a tell that everything has not gone back to normal for them. We can see EJ’s inherent goofiness shining through with the Risotto inside joke they now have. Much like Joshaya on GMW there are valid reasons to not go ahead with the ship, although Portwell doesn’t have the creepiness or borderline illegality of Joshaya, but the chemistry between the characters is real and can’t be ignored. 

Rini hurtles towards a breakup which could come as soon as next ep. Hard to tell if Ricky was in denial or just too stupid to understand the songs meaning. I'd prefer the former since a 17 year old would have to lack basic comprehension skills to not understand that the lyrics were a thinly veiled attack on him.

Nini trying to claim it was just a song at the end was disingenuous, she didn’t want Ricky to hear it for a reason. Her deciding to use her given name Nina for her music account is obviously meant to symbolize her independence from Ricky since he first gave her that nickname back in the first grade. However, it makes Ricky seem like some malign influence on her basically her entire life when it’s not like he forced her to go by Nini or prevented her from going back to Nina during the 10 odd years of their friendship/relationship together.

Miss Jenn and Zachie were fun but such a risk on his part to steal the mask, that’s trespassing and theft and a sure disqualification not to mention the very real risk of being criminally charged. The door is now closed on Jike and Jachie and the path for Jazarra is open.

Rouge Grand was funny but I hope this Redlyn angst isn’t dragged out too long. 

Mob song wasn’t good, the skrillex beat drop was not needed. Around You was good though. I just noticed that Tim abandoned, or was forced to by covid, his plan to have 3 songs per ep instead of 2 which is for the best I think. 

Looking Ahead:

Looks like next week will be a big one for Portwell and EJ in general. We get Gaston, career day with EJ’s dad, and then EJ hanging with Gina and helping her knit which is very domestic. I’d bet if you showed that clip of them knitting to someone who had never seen the show  they’d assume the character were dating. So it looks like Mr. Caswell has bought EJ’s way into Duke which is no longer EJ’s dream, if it ever was.

As I said last week, there’s a clear path forward for Portwell to get together in the season finale and next ep will probably take a big step towards making it happen. We have the chemistry, we’ve gotten moments between them, and we know EJ’s feelings, we just need Gina to recognize her budding feelings for EJ. I think Gina running into Jack at the airport in 2x09 will help her clear her head on what she wants and a part of that will be whether she still wants to try and be with Ricky or does she want to take a chance with EJ.

Obviously S3 will almost certainly leave Portwell in the dust in order to do Rina for a bit which will piss off a lot of fans but Tim’s screwed himself over here; there’s really no way that this series ends without a large chunk of the audience being bitterly disappointed over who’s endgame. Love triangles are a done to death trope but they typically involve some minor characters who can written off once the triangle is over, not main characters who have to be in every ep no matter what. 

More Redlyn angst next week as well as the wildcats being benched for a week due to trespassing at North High. 

A lot of people think that the show is having Nini get into songwriting because of Olivia’s success but the scripts would have been written before she released Driver’s License and shot to stardom. She’s also still contracted for two more seasons though she’d clearly leave before that if Disney would let her. 

The Rini treehouse scene could well be the breakup, gotta go my own way would fit well if that’s the case. This is another area where Tim needs to tread carefully. He can’t have Rini hate each other or avoid each other for the remaining 20 odd eps of the series but also can’t fully close the door on them since he’ll almost certainly have Rini be endgame as they graduate from East High at the end of S4. 

At this point it seems pretty unrealistic that East High would win the Menkies but this is a tv show so who knows. There’s one big song left that would work for some of the couples they, Something There, which could work for Portwell, Howell, or Rina so we’ll see if we get it.

2x07 marks the last of the clips we saw in the original S2 trailer so we’re largely flying blind now.

Until next week wildcats. 

[pinencurls]

“I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

Hiii so this is my entry to @stellarboystyles‘s three year anniversary fic challenge! I’ve been busy with getting ready for classes starting and balancing other stuff so I wrote it on and off for a week and a bit but I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is so so encouraged and appreciated <3 

Here’s my masterlist of some other stuff I’ve written x 

Enemies (more like friends but oops) to lovers, prompt 9 “I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

14k+ :) Not read through sorry! pls let me know of any mistakes and I’ll correct them <3 (also i k n o w the title's bad but i couldn’t think of anything, pls feel free to leave any recs.)

- - - - 

It isn’t that I hate Harry. He just makes me feel...insecure. He’s never said or done anything directly but it’s hard to feel good about yourself when all your closest confidants seem to compare you to somebody else, somebody they so clearly hold higher above you. There wasn’t a single day I could meet a mutual friend of mine and Harry’s and not have them sing his praises, and apparently everyone was a mutual friend. I’ve known Julia and Theo for years, we all met in uni when they first started going out but it wasn’t until a year ago that I somehow ended up finding myself a regular within the friendship group they’d formed when they both went into the music and fashion industries. They had ties everywhere and after a pure coincidence of running into them and their circle at a pub, almost all my weekends were spent in various art galleries or new restaurants owned by somebody’s cousin or the guy they met last night at a Fleetwood Mac concert. 

I’d met Harry about five months into hanging out with the group. He’d known them a lot longer than I had, weaving his way into the little pockets of interesting people for years since the x factor. I was busy with work the first few times he was in town but after a while, Nick, the persistent party planner of the group who always managed to wrangle us together, insisted that I just had to meet him.                  . . . . . 

Eleanor’s house is huge and buzzing with hundreds of strangers. I cling to Julia and Theo’s side, Nick and Eleanor are nowhere in sight - most likely playing host or drinking too much chardonnay in another corner of the house. These four are the only people I can say I really know here, sure there are a few familiar faces on the dance floor, either from having met them at any of Eleanor's past elaborate parties or just because of they’re not so subtle fame. That’s another thing, all the people sipping wine and dancing around me are fairly...well known. Either just within the industry or to the general public too, they’d all gain fairly high status. It was a fluke really that I got on so well with Julia when we first met on a fashion course in uni. 

Julia had big goals, all of which she was on track to fulfil, that conflicted slightly with mine. Her goals consisted of runway show models clad in designer brands she might one day contribute to whereas mine were more...anti, that whole world. It took a few years to find a steady footing but eventually, I was proud of where I’d ended up: a comfortable little cubby in the fashion and sustainability columns of a handful of independent magazines. After a few nights out with Julia, I was pleasantly surprised to find her shared interests and solidarity in my work and ambitions of her own within the same ideology. But whilst that’s all well and good, I’m still very much the small indie journalist that slips through the cracks when it comes to small talk at these kinds of events. It became apparent pretty quickly that my latest articles on how fast fashion had begun its destruction of a liveable environment in developing countries weren’t as relevant or interesting to the people promoting Prada and Calvin Klein as the next met gala theme. 

“Do you want another drink?” Theo asks from beside me, pulling my focus from my scan of the room. 

“No thanks..I’m good.” I murmur, debating how long I have to stay before I can slip out and feel a little less awkward around all the people I have no clue how to talk to. “Think I’m gonna head off actually..”

“Look I know you hate networking, but this is just a chill get-together yeah?” Theo chuckles, squeezing my shoulder before taking another sip from his gin and tonic. “We’re in the same boat about these snooty things but tonight’s not like that, relax a bit will ya.” 

Theo works mostly with small-time music artists, producing debut albums and such so we share the same deep discomfort for the many events we often find ourselves at. It’s how we got close really, week after week we’d trail behind Julia as she strikes up conversations with Hollywood elite...and he always makes getting piss drunk in someone’s pool house exceptionally fun. 

Before I can further any excuses about getting home to start on the legitimate and ever-growing pile of work deadlines on my desk, a tall man in far too much Gucci to belong anywhere but in a room full of models and artists makes a beeline straight from the bar to our awkward party. 

“Harry!” Theo shouts, embracing the slightly tipsy man in a hug he reciprocates. 

“It’s been too long mate, how ‘ave you been?” Harry cheers, leaning back from the hug and grinning down at his friend. 

“I’ve been good - busy, enjoying the free bar as always.” Theo jokes, motioning between his and my matching G and T’s. Harry’s eyes wander up from the drink, realisation dawning on his face as he smiles again.

“Ah and you must be the famous Olivia,” He reaches his hand out to mine and shakes it lightly. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, ‘m Harry, it’s good to finally meet you, love.”  

“Likewise.” I smile, trying to suppress the blush his words of endearment tease. I can’t deny the natural charm and charisma everyone always talks about now that it’s hitting me straight on. There’s something about the way he doesn’t hesitate to hold eye contact just that little bit longer that makes the room go still for just a second. He’d got it down to a T.

“Aww I see you two have finally met!” Nick interrupts. My hand falls from Harry’s grip as he’s welcomed into another hug. “About fucking time as well, been trying get this one to take a night off for weeks!”

“I literally came out with you last Thursday!” I counter, not missing the smirk setting on Harry’s face as he watches Nick and I’s back and forth. “And the Saturday before, come to think of it I’m always out with you Nicky.” 

“Not when Harry’s in town though n’ that’s a different kinda night.” Nick laughs, his beer sloshing slightly in his free hand as his other remains draped over Harry’s shoulders. 

That was maybe the first sign of my slight resentment for Harry. All night I wandered around with Theo hearing little bits of conversations, all surrounding the star of the party. I understood this wasn’t his doing, his humility was clear in every one of his bashful attempts to turn the conversation away from his growing achievements and onto literally anything else. He was, however, a self-proclaimed narcissist. Every time somebody would swoon over him and insist he stay the topic of conversation, a smirk tugged at his lips and stayed there as he consumed the endless and animated praise from almost all the party guests. 

I’d expected some of his qualities to be untrue, learning from the past never to believe blindly of someone’s pure character when you didn’t truly know them. Especially when they frequented the gossip columns. But it wasn’t him so much, he was true to his motto of kindness and courteous even as people fawned over him, it was more the attention that surrounded him. As the night went on it became clear what Nick meant even if he didn’t know it himself. A night out with Harry was different because everyone made sure to capitalize off how different he made them feel.

. . . . .

“Can I get you anything else M’am?” The young waitress asks as she clears up my empty mug and saucer. My eyes falter a little as they adjust from the blue light of my laptop I’ve been staring at for the last twenty minutes. 

“Um- oh please could I just get a refill?” I ask. 

“Sure thing - mint tea right?” She smiles, adjusting the mug in her hands to make a quick note. 

 “Yeah..s’perfect - thank you.” She’s gone before she hears my delayed gratitudes, definitely used to the throngs of bemused writers tapping away at their laptops for hours. 

I turn back to my open google doc. So far it’s written in two parts I have no idea how to connect and my senseless rereading hasn’t resulted in any legitimate progress in almost an hour. I’d accept the rut I’m stuck in and work on something else for the day if I didn’t only have the day. Last night had been filled with plans of settling in early and finishing the last two thousand words on an upcoming sustainable clothing brand. That all went out the window of course as my phone buzzed off the kitchen counter with Nick’s insistence of yet another night out to celebrate ending the work week - his was quite different to mine. It was easy to ignore the persistent beeping of my phone as new texts and call notifications popped up every three minutes, but less so when the rhythmic bursts of noise were replaced by knocks on my front door. 

Within 40 minutes of opening it to Nick in a silk shirt and jeans too skinny for someone pushing thirty, I was two drinks in and dancing to Blue DeTiger with a pair of hands on my waist that I didn’t entirely recognise. It was just the six of us: Me, Nick, Ellie, Theo, Julia and Harry.

He was hard to ignore, not that I was trying particularly hard. On the drive over, the limited backseat space in Nick’s car and close proximity had practically forced me into his lap. Even with thighs pressed tightly against each other, we hardly talked, a few polite hellos here and there and then silence as we listened to Eleanor recall her latest night with whichever blonde bassist was her ‘soulmate’ that week. The whole ride over, Harry kept his hands on the thigh closest to the door and leant his shoulders the same way as to touch me as little as possible - which was still quite a lot considering the packed five seater pushing seven passengers. It was fairly common knowledge we weren’t close and I got the feeling he wasn’t too keen on me, but he could at least not act like touching me would be the worst thing ever. 

As the night went on he clung to Theo, ever the cuddly drunk, and I stayed more to the pleasant stranger I’d found on the dance floor.

No meanest was ever intended between us but I couldn’t help but watch the kindergarten like bitterness grow as everyone just loved him. We couldn’t go anywhere without a crying fan or two approaching the sweet and smiling man who always answered their questions affectionately and hugged them goodbye. The times he was out of town were always filled with comments about his absence, as if none of us were good enough without his added presence. I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered to bring me into their little group. The lack of closeness between Harry and I felt almost like a lack of closeness to the group as a whole, despite how much my individual friendships with everyone advanced. 

Just as I thank the waitress - Alice, her name tag read, and take the first sip of my third tea (I had to switch after a particularly strong starter coffee) I notice a familiar man out the corner of my eye looking just as rough as me. Of course he’s wearing it better than I am. 

Harry collects a drink from the counter and bows his head slightly in thanks, turning and catching my eye just as he’s on his way out. He waves with his free hand and shoots me a candid smile before making a quick change in direction towards my small table. 

“Long time no see,” He pulls the chair opposite me out a little as he chuckles at his own joke. He perches lightly, temporarily. “How’ve you been?”

“A little hungover, I won’t lie..” I laugh, surprised by the whole encounter. “You?” 

“Same, I might have had a shot or two too many,” I nod knowingly and shut my laptop softly. He sips what smells like coffee before going on. “Are ya workin? Sorry to interrupt.” 

“Oh no- I mean I am but it doesn’t matter really, ‘ve kinda hit a dead end.” His eyes hover, waiting for me to go on. “I was gonna get it done last night but Nick had other plans..” 

“Yeah Nick’ll do that to you,” He laughs, “What’re you writing ‘bout?” 

He leans slightly forwards, holding eye contact and shuffling comfortably into his chair. 

“Oh just this promotional piece on a new company, they’re hiring young women and training them to make these handmade clothes. They’re paying them above minimum wage and focusing on sustainability so this editor I’ve written for before offered me it.” I’m not really sure how sincere he is in his curiosity, he always seems to have time to listen when Julia has a new design plan or Theo’s found a new artist but that’s different really. I stop before I start to ramble, just in case. 

“That’s so cool, what kinda stuff are they making?” He prompts, resting his chin on his fist, imitating the posture of an eager little kid. 

“They've started stocking stuff by other independent artists but mostly dungarees and these cool cord trousers, they’d suit you actually, even got some 70s style ones.” Now that the two worlds are colliding in my head, I can’t help but imagine Harry in a pair of their forest green cords, the wide legs would almost bury his vans but a part of me is pretty sure he’d love them. 

“Thanks, if they come at your recommendation I might have to get my hands on a pair,” He smiles, his tone’s a lot different to the usual polite cheer, it’s difficult to place where it’s landed before he’s talking again. “Reminds me of that show you took us to with the upcycled clothes, all those dungarees made of old quilts - remember?” 

It’d been a small exhibit just outside of London I’d mentioned offhandedly and somehow ended up showing everyone around. It was nice to have them all in my world for an evening. Marcus, a friend of mine from college, had put it together and created a lot of the pieces. He and the others I’d met through my work were fairly shocked to say the least when Harry Styles came traipsing through the doors behind me. All night he quietly asked Nick questions, to which Nick only responded by motioning towards me and wandering off to the bar. 

“I do - I’m surprised you do to be honest.” It slips before I can decide if it sounds passive aggressive or not. To be fair, it had been a surprise to me, meeting everyone at the train station and watching Harry and Nick scramble out a taxi and run towards us. He’d been dressed in proper gallery attire and seemed genuinely thrilled to be joining in on the rare night I actually played host. 

“Course I do, it was a good night...I’d choose it over Nick’s tequila Tuesdays anyday.” His phone buzzes on the table, a text popping up in green. “Oh I- my manager’s waiting sorry.” 

A sheepish smile is accompanied by a loose arm movement towards the door where, out on the street, I see Jeff. He’s shaking his head and motioning for Harry to hurry up. Had Harry sat down to talk to me whilst his manager had been waiting this whole time? 

“It was good running into you, good luck with it all,” He stands. “See you friday yeah?” 

I’d totally forgotten about his “Whenever I’m in town Friday film night.” until he mentioned it. I’d been twice in the past and stayed quietly to my corner of the sofa, only watching as everyone else laughed at whatever romcom had been chosen that night. 

“I-maybe.” He shakes his head as I smile, not quite ready to commit a whole evening to watching Nick raid Harry’s wine cellar. 

“You better, I’m gonna need to hear more ‘bout those cords.” He points his hand in a kind of joking reprimand/wave before he’s gone back down the aisle of tables to the door where Jeff ruffles a hand through his hair and laughs when his hands fly to fix the now birdnest of brown curls. 

I open my laptop back up, skimming over the last few lines I wrote to get myself back on track. I take a sip and my tea’s gone cold. 

. . . . .

“Are you coming to Harry’s tonight?” Eleanor asks down the phone, her voice chipper as she no doubt raids her closet. 

“Maybe, I don’t know..I’ve got this deadline Monday morning that I’m nowhere near meeting.” 

“Come on Liv, we haven’t seen you all properly together since last month, and last week doesn’t count it was too loud to actually talk!” She chimes in, the sound of clothes being tossed to the floor clear in the distant background. “Have you got a problem with Harry or something?” 

“No Elle, of course I don’t-” 

“Then why do you guys never talk? You hardly come with us when he’s around and when you do you barely even say hello.” Eleanor complains, she’s mentioned it in the past but it’s been easy to blow off with excuses of how busy he usually was making his way around the room to greet everyone or how we just hadn’t known each other that long and weren't particularly close yet. 

“I just...I don’t know, I don’t think he likes me very much.” I pause. I still haven't decided what last Saturday was in the cafe. “We’re not really close and I’d prefer not to spend another night listening to people tell him - and everyone else - how great he is.” 

“You’re saying that like he’s some arrogant twit, if you came out with us more you’d see what he’s really like around his friends. Or you know, you could actually talk to him when we’re together and see that he’s not a dick?” 

It was a fair point. I haven’t made much of an effort over the past year to spend any time with him outside of larger gatherings or to have genuine conversations with him that went past the weather or a new jacket one of us had on. Maybe he really is a good guy away from all the pretentious crowds and watchful eyes he usually called to our group. He’d certainly seemed different in the quiet Saturday surroundings of Blondies Coffee Roasters in between sips of coffee. 

“Okay, okay yeah I’ll see you there.” We hang up a couple of minutes later and I’m left alone in my kitchen again.

. . . . . 

“Hey!” Harry cheers as the door swings open to reveal him in yet another pair of flared pants that hung comfortably around his waist. “Come in, come in.” 

We all pile in through the doorway as he steps aside. Arms weaving through each other as we hang coats and jackets and Julia passes Harry the fruit platter she’d made (and scolded us all for picking at on the drive over.) 

“Oh very appropriate,” Harry laughs as he uncovers the tray to reveal an array of sliced watermelon, strawberries and grapes, He sets the fruit down on the table in the lounge for us all to eat and shakes his head lightly. I look up at Julia for an explanation but she’s too busy claiming the comfiest loveseat for the night. “I’m never telling you anything again, Jules.” 

Julia and Harry tease each other for a moment more until Theo catches my confused stares and laughs to himself. 

“Harry wrote a song ‘bout fruit- another one actually,” Theo starts, tucking himself beside Julia and letting her take over before he can finish. “S’not just about fruit though is it H?” 

Harry blushes slightly and settles his glare on Julia as he carries six wine glasses through to the table. 

“‘S about watermelon, it just has some..” He clears his throat as he fumbles for his next sentence. “Other themes to it too.” 

“As if mate,” Theo’s laughter booms, “ Basically Liv, he wrote this new song the other day all about how much he loves to-” 

“Watermelon!” Harry yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Theo. “S’all about how much I love watermelons...I’m a fruit guy.” 

“Oh are we talking about the pussy song?” 

All heads snap round to see Nick, obviously having let himself in and now chuckling softly to himself as he leans against the archway into the room. 

“Oh sorry H, were you tryna give an interview answer?” 

Harry just slaps his palm over his eyes and lets his shoulders shake for a minute before he bounces back to host mode. 

“Okay!” I can’t help but notice how flushed the tips of his ears are as he claps his hands together, desperately trying to move on from the conversation. “Who wants wine?” 

Fifteen minutes later everyone is settled onto the sofas with an array of throws between us and a layout of fruits, crisps and other mid rom com snacks that make me feel bad I left my flat in too much of a hurry to remember anything but hummus. 

“Okay - Sixteen Candles, When Harry Met Sally or Mamma Mia?” Nick calls out, waving the tv remote above his head to get everyone's attention. An outpour of votes follows - you’d think between only six of us we’d be able to sort out a process by now but still we fall into momentary anarchy as the room divides. 

“Mamma Mia is a classic!” Eleanor protests as Nick’s shaking his head. 

“And Billy Crystal isn’t?” He yells back, eyes wide and genuinely offended. 

“Colin Firth is arguably more iconic, Nick really, come on.” Theo sighs. He accepts the high fives Ellie and I reach out to him and saluts us both. 

“We’ve all seen Mamma Mia before though, we’ve never watched When Harry Met Sally all together,” Julia points out, winning a smirk and nod of approval from Nick. 

There’s a beat of silence while Nick weighs up the votes in his head. He tilts to the side slightly and eyes Harry up, our gazes following. 

“Harry?” 

“Ellie?” 

“Come on, you’ve got the last vote here, and I know how much you like Meryl.” Nick gasps a little, the mention of Meryl Streep as a wager to win Harry over to his opposing team was definitely foul play in his eyes. 

“Yeah but he loves When Harry Met Sally...and he is a narcissist..” Julia offers into the debate, a few snickers follow her comment before we all turn to look at Harry. We’re all already half a glass in but I could swear for just a moment his eyes lingered over me, fluttering down to my smile before turning back to announce his decision to Nick. 

“I’m afraid I am in the mood for a bit of Abba,” Cheers and not so subtle murmurs of frustration fill the lounge as Nick scrolls through the Romance bar on Netflix before clicking on the film of just over half of our choosing. 

Everyone goes quiet as the film starts, breaking out into bursts of song only as the cast does. From the conversation in the car, it’s pretty clear everyone has just been through a pretty tiring week. We all tended to pile our workload a little heavy so it was always nice to escape for a few hours at the weekend and relax together.

Just as Voulez-vous plays through the room, a slightly tipsy Nick leans into Harry to serenade the singer with his own rendition. The duo sway slightly, both narrowly avoiding Nick’s wild limbs before there’s a crash and Harry’s cursing. 

“Oh- H, Sorry!” 

Nick’s wine glass that’d been balanced on the coffee table in front of him moments before now lays on its side. The, luckily white, wine trickles down onto the rug but most noticeably splashes into Harry’s lap. I’m not entirely sure how he managed it, it must have flown forwards when it was knocked but Harry quickly stands to access the damage. 

“I’m so sorry Harry I-” 

“Don’t worry mate, I’m just gonna go change and toss these in the wash..could you wipe that up for me?” Nick nods, looking a little less cheerful and a lot more guilty now as Harry makes it way out the room. He calls behind him: “Keep watching I’ll only be a second!” 

Nick finishes wiping down the table and rug just as Harry jogs back into the room. I don’t mean to and I’m never one to check people out..unless very subtly, but I can’t help but let my eyes linger a little. 

He’s still in his plain tee but instead of his fancy pants he’s found some soft wash denim jeans. The whole look paired with his thick rimmed glasses and how his hair's gotten tousled about by Nick throughout the night just made him look so...ordinary. Not in any bad way, anyone who met Harry knew he could never be ordinary, no matter how casual he dressed, but something about seeing him abandon the more dressed up looks and go for the comfortable option just made him seem different. 

In a second his green eyes are complimenting the look too as he gazes down at me. 

“Hi,” He mouths, nobody’s taken much notice of his return, yet another musical number taking everyone’s attention. It’s my turn to blush a little now. I avert my eyes quickly, anywhere really, before sneaking a quick look up at him to smile back. 

Ellie had helped Nick in the “For fucksake save Harry’s rug it probably costs more than your car” mission and had stolen the seat beside him after they were done. It slipped my mind until Harry set the new bottle of wine on the table and sunk down into the space beside me, He curls one leg underneath him and slips me one more smile before turning back to the screen just as Donna and Sam start singing SOS.

. . . . . 

“Ah shit, I think I left my book!” I curse just as we make it down the road to Julia’s car. Parking was shit so by the time we found a spot we’d ended up a good 15 minutes away from Harry’s house. “You guys go on, I’m only round the corner anyway.” 

Theo and Julia were familiar with my stubbornness so let me go, yelling their goodbyes after a few hugs as they drove away, Ellie and Nick do the same as they clamber into a taxi. I turn quickly in the chilly air and make my way back down the street to Harry’s drive, punching in the familiar code at his gate before running up to the door hastily. 

It was open - as always, so I let myself in. He was probably still cleaning the lounge up after we all got a little too tipsy. 

“Hey it’s me...just left my book sorry!” I call down the hallway. It’s quiet despite the light Paul Simon playing in the distance so I make my way quickly to the sofas I’d spent most of the night on, praying to avoid an awkward run-in with Harry. 

Although we’d actually shared some light conversation throughout the night and a handful of smiles, I’m not sure we’re quite at the stage in our friendship that me more or less breaking into his house wouldn’t be awkward to run into. 

The lounge is empty when I get there. The side tables are still littered with wine glasses and tacky red rings on coasters but no Harry in sight. Or book for that matter. 

I start pulling back the cushions carefully - god knows how much they cost. Despite scouring the one spot I’d pretty much clung to the whole night -  incidentally beside Harry -  I have no luck. Nick tossed the book back to me at some point in the night after reading it by my recommendation but knowing him it could have ended up anyway. I follow the breadcrumbs of our night down another hallway as I vaguely remember Nick talking about a certain plot twist as we searched Harry’s kitchen cupboards for the wine he’d sent us off to restock. 

As I come around the white archway into his kitchen I catch a glimpse of him from around the kitchen island. He has his back turned to me but he’s leant forwards against a counter with ring covered fingers clutching the edge, a glass of amber liquid set slightly away from him. 

“Oh, sorry I was just-” He jumps a little at my voice, turning quickly to face me with his now free hands coming up to hold his chest. When his eyes finally meet mine they’re red and it takes a second for him to register the tears still streaming from them before he replies. 

“Shit, fu- what are you..are you alright?” His hands bat between tangling into his hair and wiping the tears from his cheeks, anything to avoid actually looking up at me again. 

“Yeah, I just..um..left my book,” I mumble, taking a step closer to him when I notice how his hands shake as they move timidly around his face. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“Uuuh um.” He wanders for a moment before slapping a palm lightly atop the counter and pulling out his infamous grin. “Nothing much, how bout you - find your book?” 

“-Harry..” I take another step close, “I know we’re not, ya know..close. But you can talk to me.” 

There’s a beat of silence when he keeps up the act, I’d almost believe it if it wasn’t for his bloodshot eyes and anxious fingers drumming against the tile. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He pauses for a moment, assessing whether or not to tell me whatever’s weighing so heavy on his shoulders. But the dam bursts. 

“Fuckin’ everything Love” He laughs, rubbing his palms over his face. I try to focus on the matter at hand: Harry weeping in his kitchen. But that name’s only ever left his mouth directed at me a handful of times and it’s never made my stomach flutter quite as it did just now. “Just..Fuck I’m so lonely Olivia.” 

I don’t really know any of the details but between conversation - mostly overheard, and the media frenzy, it was hard not to be aware of Harry’s break up two months ago. I can’t claim we were close enough to discuss it, having hardly ever talked beyond trivial issues, but I knew that despite them only being together two or so months, he’d been incredibly distant for the weeks that followed the break up. 

“I hear about you and Aubre..I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you guys-” Harry laughs almost, a pained sort of chuckle that told me I was way off with this one. 

“It’s not..that isn’t why I..” He takes a deep breath before lifting his head up slightly to focus on where his fingers still tapped out a nervous beat on the counter. “I was lonely before her...and with her. I just, I can’t seem to get it right ever...feels like nobody wants to be with me for the right reasons.” 

“Hey no..what about tonight? Your house was full of so many people who love you yeah? Maybe your bougie wine collection had something to do with it but still,” He laughs at that, peeking up from behind his fringe for just a moment. “They- we love you ‘k?” 

“I know but, ‘clock hits the am and everyone leaves, it just gets...it gets so fucking lonely to see everyone in perfect pairs ya know?” 

I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m doing it - my arms wrap over his shoulders and lock with a hand at the nape of his neck. We’ve never hugged before beyond a general greeting but anyone watching wouldn’t know it, his face burrows quickly into my shoulder and his arms cocoon over my waist, holding me tightly and slipping under the thick layers of my jacket. 

“I know exactly what you mean, H.” 

The hug lasts longer than I imagined it might. He smells of vanilla and the coffee he brought back in bulk from Jamaica. He lets out a shaky breath and melts further into me, nuzzling my neck softly with the tip of his nose. His curls are soft between my fingers and I find myself shhing him, lulling us both into a tired kind of calm. 

Another moment passes in the silence of his kitchen before Harry lets out an awkward cough and straightens up, pulling out of our hold and immediately covering his face with his palms again. 

“I..sorry Jules and Theo must be waiting for you..” Harry murmured, wiping the last of his tears away and letting his hands fall and fidget by his sides. 

“Oh no don’t worry they..um they already went I was actually just gonna walk.” I tell him, making his head perk up a bit. 

“Wha-It’s past twelve Liv it’s not safe, how far do you even live?” He clears his throat and his voice is clearer now, it feels like a whole different world to the one we were in just a minute ago. 

“It’s fine honestly, only take like thirty minutes walking - I’ve done it before-” I ramble, eager to put this situation behind me before I embarrass myself anymore. 

“No - let me drive you yeah?” Harry shakes his head, adamant. 

“Harry..we’ve been drinking all night, I think that’s more dangerous than me jus’ walking.” I laugh, holding his gaze for a second longer than I usually would - fuck, how do we usually act around each other?

Before I come to a conclusion, his eyes rest heavy on mine and I can see the cogs turning in his brain as he tries to work his way out of this one. Ever the people pleaser. 

“Then stay.” 

“Harry-”

“You said you know how it feels.” He cuts in, unwavering now as he doesn’t let my eyes fall from his. “So stay …’s safer anyway.” 

. . . . . 

“I can take the sofa, really Harry I don’t mind,” I reassure as he tosses me an old t-shirt and joggers to sleep in. “It’s comfier than my bed anyway. 

His guest bedrooms had just been painted and were still pretty fume filled so the sofa or his bed were the only options. For twenty minutes now he’s tried to convince me to take his bed and leave him on the sofa, despite the fact we both know he’s a little too tall to sleep without his feet hanging off the end. 

“But you’re my guest!” He protests again, coming up from his wardrobe to stand in front of me, hand on hips and an expression of concern on his face. 

“And you’re almost six foot!” 

“Hey, I am six foot.” He takes a deep breathe, exhaling through his nose in defeat before speaking again. “Okay, you can sleep on the sofa but if anyone asks I was the perfect host and you bullied me into this.” 

I laugh softly, this whole new side of Harry had never been directed solely at me before and it was honestly refreshing. Usually Nick or another friend was the target of his jokes and playful demeanor and I only noticed it from afar but now he was right in front of me, hauling pillows off his bed and sticking his tongue out when he caught me staring. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He asks for the third time since I agreed to stay the night. We’ve just finished setting up the sofa to sleep on and despite the duvet and many quilts far more lush than my own actual bed, he seemed unconvinced it was enough. 

“I’m sure” I sit back into the pile of blankets and pillows, tucking my feet underneath me and looking back up at Harry. “If you’re really not, just come watch a film with me and see how cozy it is.” 

The quick change in dynamic was a lot smoother than I’d imagined. Within an hour of being alone together we’d already talked more than in all our past interactions, not to mention how close we’ve gotten. He only nods his head quickly and he’s settling under a quilt beside me, rummaging around for a controller to pull up netflix again. 

“Mamma Mia two?” He asks. 

I chuckle a bit and nod. At the beginning of the evening I hadn’t quite seen it ending in a Mamma Mia marathon with just me and Harry. 

He presses play and as the opening display begins we both lean back into the sofa and pull the blankets up over us. It’s only in the quiet of the first few scenes that I notice we’re matching. We’re both dressed fully in his clothes, grey joggers and t-shirt - his rolling stones, mine fleetwood mac. And it all smells of him. I pull the blanket a little higher over my chest and the faint, but now familiar, scent of vanilla and coffee fills my lungs and for a second all I can focus on is how desperately I want to be in his arms again. 

. . . . .

“-ow” A groggy voice mumbles from above me and I feel myself being pulled forwards slightly against something hard - and warm. 

I’m a few seconds from falling straight back asleep before I feel the painful ache in the side of my neck. I reach a hand up to gauge my current situation and feel my fingers plunging into soft hair - soft hair that ends too soon to be mine. 

“Hi..” I recoil my hand quickly back to my side and push myself up so I’m sitting slightly. I look down and see Harry, half asleep still and hand still resting on my side. 

“Oh-hey sorry,” What do you say when you wake up beside the guy you barely knew but simultaneously had been incredibly vulnerable with just the night before? 

Harry seems to be waking up now and certainly more aware of our predicament as he pulls his hand away from where it was holding firmly onto the material of my - his - t-shirt and pushes himself up to sit against the arm of the sofa. 

“We must have fallen asleep..sorry I didn’t mean too, ya know…” His eyes flutter between where I sit opposite him and the “Are you still watching?” Netflix screen. 

“It’s fine, accidents happen an’ everything.” I smile, slipping out from the warm cocoon of blankets to stand. “I’m just gonna wash up quickly and I’ll be out of you hair.” 

Before I can rush off to tame my hair and hopefully find some toothpaste to rid me of my morning breath, Harry clasps his hand gently around my wrist and tugs slightly to get my attention. 

“Not in a rush Love, I’ll make us some breakfast.” He says it effortlessly, like it was a regular occurrence for us to fall asleep cuddling on his sofa. He stands, groaning as his knees pop appreciatively and lets my hand go before he’s disappearing into the kitchen.

“Okay…” I murmur to myself. “....okay.” 

. . . . .  

Alice is back at my table with my second refill before 11am. I thank her and take a gulp of the fiery ginger tea before reading over the last three paragraphs I just wrote. The spice licks my tongue as I tip the cup up for a second sip; it’s autumn after all. 

In the last two weeks September had slipped into October and all the trees in London had received the memo. I’d been busy, hoaled up in the quietest corner of Blondies the whole time with coffee filling all my senses. I haven’t seen everyone together since that night at Harry’s. I grabbed lunch with Eleanor the Monday afterwards and told her nothing, preferring to avoid the texts my phone amassed over the fortnight. I've turned down all proposed group activities and focused on work instead. To be fair, I do have a lot to get done. There were always seasonal pieces in my to do list and with the weather getting colder it was time I got to them before it was Christmas already. 

I haven’t talked to Harry either. He made us pancakes with blueberries and maple syrup in the morning and we haven’t even texted since; I’m not sure that we even have a private text between us. Eleanor and Julia have told me how much fun they’ve all had the times I’ve politely but persistently declined, I can only assume Harry’s in the mix with them all. He’s in town for awhile if I’m remembering our breakfast chatter correctly, it makes sense that they’re all hanging out together really when they don’t often get time together. Ellie’s phone calls keep me from sliding into thoughts of how easily I could fall right out of the group and not be missed, at least. I was just taking space for work. The fact that most of my afternoons at the cafe disappeared into me analysing anything I might ever have felt or said to Harry means nothing at all. 

Neither does the heightened pace of my heartbeat when he walks through the stiff wooden  doors of Blondies. 

He orders what I assume is his regular black coffee, scans the room for a second and lands directly on me. He hesitates a little to hold my gaze, turning his head to look outside before looking back at me and smiling. He thanks the server and takes a few quick steps towards me, weaving in between the packed tables to my little spot hidden away in the corner. 

“Hi,” He smiles again, although his toneos overshadowed by a slight anxious hilt. “Can I sit?” 

Nodding, I close my laptop and pull my tea closer to me to make a space for him. 

“Hi.” He repeats, smiling a little sheepishly. 

“Hi,” I wait a second, nervous to start when I’m so unsure of how this conversation has already gone in his head. But he doesn’t say anything so I push through and bite the bullet against my better judgement. “Look, about that Friday I-”

“Can I just-” He cuts me off, leaning forwards and opening his hands out as he mulls over his next few words. “I’m sorry if it was awkward at all, I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I thought we were fine an’ everything but then I haven’t seen you in two weeks and Ellie keeps saying you’re not comin’ out. Did I do something wrong?” 

“Oh god no,” I hurry, “You didn’t do anything it was just - I didn’t expect to wake up..like that...and it was just a really quick change because we’ve never really been close and suddenly it was just, us, like that.” 

He nods, pushing a loose curl back a second later that broke free in the motion. He seems understanding as he looks down before leaning his elbows against the table so only the two of us can hear what he’s about to say. 

“I know, I didn’t expect it either but, can I just tell you I’m glad that it happened?” He leaves a three second pause for me to flounder in confusion before continuing. “What I told you, ‘bout feeling lonely, it messes with my sleep all the time. I just get stuck in my own thoughts but the night you stayed over I slept fine - perfect even.”

Not sure what else to do with this new information, I nod for him to continue.

“I know we’ve never been close, but hanging out with you just really calmed me down.” He smiles, gaining confidence now in his vulnerability tucked away in our little hiding place. “Thank you for staying.” 

“I get what you mean.” I mumble, slightly anxious any of the busy customers with prying eyes could overhear my confession. “I never really know when to stop working and I think I got the best night sleep on your sofa I’ve had in awhile, which really speaks volumes about how crappy my mattress is.”  

He chuckles. Relief seems to settle in as he lets his shoulders relax and face soften. 

“I was thinking - especially now that I know it was good for you as well, maybe it could become more of a regular thing?” He asks, his forefinger and thumb pinch together and twist one of his rings a little - a nervous habit, I’m sure. 

“How do you mean?” 

“Like..when we all go out, maybe we go home together, you know - so we can sleep better.” He moves down to focus on the metal rose he’s still fumbling at. “If..if you don’t want to or you think it’d be weird it’s fi-” 

“I’d like that.” I reach forwards to comfort him, absentmindedly cupping my fingers around his. “I think it’d be nice, to get a good night's sleep I mean.” 

“I’m glad.” He beams.

“..That and you make a mean blueberry pancake.” I tease, earning a light chuckle from Harry. 

Just like our last cafe encounter, the ping of a his phone beats me to my new few words. He checks it quickly, shaking his head and glancing down the large room to the shop front where, once again, Jeff waits. He seems a little more agitated this time, waving vigorously whilst trying not to attract the attention of passersby, all  rather unsuccessfully. 

“Bollocks okay - I’ve gotta go,” Harry swears, collecting his coffee from the table and pushing his chair back quickly. “I’ll just - we can text before we go out next yeah?” 

“Cool, yeah - wait a sec, let me just give you my number.” I reach up for him to hand me his phone but he doesn’t make any effort to move, instead he blushes slightly and stares at the floor. “..What?” 

“I um, I already have it.” He fiddles with the hair at the nape of his neck before talking again. It’s hard not to remember how it felt when it was my fingers carding through his brown curls. “I got it from Theo awhile back when we were going to this thing, felt weird not having it. I hope that..okay and everythin’” 

I nod, smiling up at him. The idea of him having a part of me for this past year without me even knowing is oddly precious. The fact that he felt odd about not having my number and going to the effort of getting it from Theo was unbelievably endearing. 

“That’s fine, helpful actually.” I smile still, “Text me before we meet everyone and we’ll make a plan or somethin’” 

“Okay,” He smirks, his slight cocky nature reemerging. “Will do, Liv. See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

Jeff flies a hand up to his hair like before but this time is met with a grinning Harry who doesn’t seem to mind so much. 

. . . . . 

Unknown Number 

‘Hey! Is tonight good? We can slip off after drinks at the gallery. H x’ 

I look down at my phone. Caught off guard by the sudden text, I’d almost forgotten out arrangement. Julia invited us all to a gallery opening of one of her friend's new exhibits. Even as I flicked through my wardrobe for the right jacket, I hadn’t put two and two together and realised I’d be seeing Harry again for the first time since our chat at Blondies four days ago. 

I save his number and I think quickly, not wanting to leave him on read when he knew I’d be leaving to see them all any second and most likely spend the whole tube journey on my phone. 

‘Hi :) That’d work for me yh, just let me know when you want to leave and I’ll make an excuse. Liv x’ 

With another thought rushing through my head, I send a quick follow up. 

Me

‘Can we keep this between us right now? Might be a bit tricky to explain to the others.” 

Harry

‘Read my mind love.’

‘See you in a bit :)’ 

I’m still not the hugest fan of the airy feeling that rushed through my stomach as I read over the pet name. He was just from Manchester, it was normal up there to call everything by casually affectionate little names. It didn’t mean anything at all. 

. . . . . 

“Livia!” Nick calls out when he sees me scanning over the faces at the entrance to the gallery. I smile instantly and make my way over, quickly falling into his arms as he rocks us for a second. “Haven’t seen you in an age!” 

“‘Ve been working, we can’t all piss about Monday to Friday.” I giggle, smiling wide as he murmurs something under his breath and plants a big kiss on my cheek. “Is everyone here?” 

I try not to look suspicious when I peak over around us, trying to pick a certain brunette from the crowd.

“Yeah, they’re just over there with Julia’s friend.” Nick points and I see him immediately. He’s dressed just as I expected - half gucci half grandpa sweaters. “I’m gonna get us drinks, meet you there?” 

“Mhmmm” I hum, breaking out of his hold and slipping through the crowds to our small group of friends. 

“Hi!” Julia smiles brightly. She hugs me quickly before stepping aside to give Eleanor and Theo their turns. They all whisper quiet ‘Missed yous’ in my ear as if I’ve been gone for years. 

“Hey,” Harry appears by my side as everyone else turns their attention to the front of the crowd where it looks like the artist is setting up to introduce the night. “How’ve you been?” 

“In the last four days?” I chuckle, “Good. Not been sleeping great, but I’ve got a lot of work done so that’s been great.” 

He nods approvingly. A smile tugs at his lips at the mention of sleep, almost like some secret inside joke we’ve managed to form between just the two of us. 

“Me neither. Jeff’s been buggin’ me what feels like every hour with deadlines.” I find myself squeezing his hand a little under his long coat sleeves so nobody can see. “Looking forward to just collapsing tonight, if I’m honest.” 

“Me too.” I smile tiredly, tonight had been a big ask come to think of it. I've had work piled up twice my height all week and even having worked day in and day out I’ve still only made a crack in the mountain of final edits and emails to respond to.

Harry squeezes my fingers back and our hands linger in each other's hold until Nick emerges beside us and the artist begins her speech. 

. . . . .

 The comfortable chatter surrounding the booth we’d taken up a few hours ago died down as the clock ticked later and later. We’d left the gallery a while ago now in favour of the after party at a pub down the road but by now the heavy scent of beers and various gin based concoctions were giving us all headaches. 

“I think I’m gonna call it a night guys,” Harry announces, a slew of groans following from the group. “Sorry, sorry! It’s been great but it’s getting late.” 

Julia and Theo move out the way to let him out the booth. He slides across the red cushion to stand, pulling his coat over himself as he sneaks a quick look at me. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too,” I smile, waiting for Eleanour to stand and let me out as another wave of complaints flooded me. “Sorry! I’ve got work and the tube’ll be hell any later.” 

“Well if Harry’s going too couldn’t he take you home?” Julia suggests, looking between the two of us as we now stand slightly away from each other. “You drove right?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Harry turns to smile at me, amused clearly by how our plan was being unknowingly encouraged by our friends. “C’mon, I’ll drive yeh.” 

I nod, biting back a smirk. We say our goodbyes and wave as we slip out the heavy pub doors out onto the road outside. It’s started to drizzle slightly and I resent choosing the jacket without a hood. 

“I’m just over here,” Harry points a little ways off. “Hurry, think it’s about to pour.” 

We walk quickly down the street and through a metal gate into a car park when there’s a loud rumble of thunder and immediately the rain thickens. 

“Fuck!” Harry laughs as he scrambles for his keys, we match each other's paces until we’re practically sprinting to his car in the far corner of the lot. The click of the locks sounds out and his lights flash red a second before we’re both pulling the doors open and throwing ourselves inside onto warm seats. 

We catch our breath, chests rising and falling with uneven pants before our laughter settles and Harry slots the keys into the ignition. 

. . . . . 

“Do you want anything to eat?” Harry asks as he closes his front door behind us and we kick out shoes off in his hall. “I think I have some takeout menus somewhere..” 

“I’m not really hungry, thanks though,” I cut off his search as he walks through to his kitchen and starts opening draws. “Kinda just wanna go to bed now.” 

He nods and rubs a hand under his eye in silent agreement of my exhaustion.

“I’ll make us a tea, meet you up there yeah?” He calls over his shoulder, having turned quickly to retrieve various packets from his cupboards. “Chamomile okay?” 

“Yeah chamomiles good,” I hover for a second in the archway leading into the kitchen, suddenly awkward to be alone in his house again. “Where um..where is it?” 

He looks over his shoulder at me, slightly confused. His eye brows unfurrow when I motion behind me. 

“Oh- just up the stairs and third room down the hall..on the left.” He smiles, turning back to the cupboard to look through his extensive mug collection. 

I nod to myself, spinning on my heel and making my way up his stairs. I’ve never gone beyond the downstairs of his house before and even then I stuck to the kitchen, dining room and lounge. It felt odd to suddenly have access to something as intimate as his bedroom, I try not to overthink things as I push open the third door I see.

The first thing I see is his large bed, there’s probably enough room for three people on it and there’s definitely enough pillows to go around. The room as a whole is tidy, whether it’s always like that or only organised so precisely for my visit, I don’t know, but the thought makes my stomach flutter. 

I walk up to the side of the bed with no charger on it’s table and set my bag down. We hadn’t talked about the logistics of our...arrangement, but I’d brought the basics to last me through the night. I plug my charger into the wall and take out my wash bag and a set of clothes to sleep in before sliding my bag under the table. I look around for a second. Somehow I hadn’t really thought through the fact that by the end of the night, I’d be in Harry’s bed. With Harry. In a completely platonic way with the only function to soothe our mutually crappy sleeping habits. 

I hear Harry walking up the stairs just as I slip into the un suit to wash up and get changed. He’s humming a song under his breath. The clink of mugs being set down is followed by wardrobe doors opening and closing and a light thud of clothes being thrown on the bed. 

I wait a few minutes to make sure I don’t walk in on him changing. Opening the door tentatively, I step out into the room in a large sweater and pajama shorts. Harry turns to look at me, he’s in the same t-shirt he wore last time and a pair of boxer shorts and the whole situation suddenly seems so amusing. After just one night of falling asleep on the sofa together, not having ever talked before, here we are standing at our most vulnerable about to cuddle in his bed together.

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” He nods, looking down at himself. “Hope this is okay...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-” 

“It’s fine,” I reassure him, “I didn’t really know what to wear either.” 

His eyes flicker down my body and he smiles back up at me. He motions to the bed and we both nod a little awkwardly before making our way over to our sides. I climb in and instantly let a small groan out as my body sinks into the mattress, the pillows and duvet feel almost like a cloud as I burrow under and pull my tea up to my lips. 

Harry chuckles from beside me, I peak over the mug to seem him grinning down from where he sits slightly taller in the bed.

“Sorry, you look comfy.” He laughs a little, 

“I am, your bed’s insane.” I set my mug down and turn to him, bouncing slightly to emphasise the quality of his mattress that probably cost more than a year of my rent. “I really should start earning millions, feel like it’d suit me.” 

He returns his tea to the bedside table and copies me, turning to face me with his legs crossed. 

“It definitely would.” He smiles, bouncing a little before I let out a yawn. “Tired?” 

“Exhausted.” I mumble, hand still covering half my face. Harry reaches behind him to turn to switch the lights above his headboard off before pulling the duvet back for us to slip under.

“C’mere,” Without hesitating, I shuffle back slightly until I can feel his chest behind me and an arm come up to rest around my hip. “‘This okay?” 

“Mhmmm,” I hum, “What about our teeth?”

“We’ll brush ‘em in the morning,” I nod, groaning again as all the aches in my body subside as I sink into his arms and the foam mattress. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” I mumble, embarrassed to have let myself go so easily around him. “Your mattress is just unbelievable. Might have to make this a regular thing.” 

I speak before I think, mind clouded with sleep and my eyes already fighting to stay open. 

“That’s the plan, love.” 

. . . . . 

When I wake up, Harry’s arms are tight around my middle and his body’s like a furnace behind me. I vaguely recall pulling my sweater off in the night to cool down as I lay now only in a vest and shorts. I slept better than I have in months though, despite the warm breaths on my neck turning my cheeks flushed. 

The mix of Harry’s company and his safe haven of a mattress made for the perfect night sleep. I push back slightly into his chest and feel his arms tighten around me and a low murmur of his voice in my ear. The clock on my bedside table reads 6:30. It’s a Saturday and I can quite easily imagine spending the rest of my day - weekend even, exactly like this. 

I slip back to sleep for a little awhile before I’m woken up to a low groan behind me. Harry shifts slightly, burying his face in the base of my neck and squeezing around my waist again. He must still be half asleep to be this comfortable with me. 

I’m proven right when it takes another fifteen minutes for him to poke his head up over my shoulder and mumble: 

“Breakfast?” 

. . . . . 

Our routine works smoothly for weeks. After sleeping so well the first few times, it became a given that we’d pile into Harry’s car after every night out with our friends and go back to his. Sometimes we’d get takeout or watch a film, but it wasn’t so rare that we’d just stumble out of his car, or a taxi - depending what the night had entailed, and walk with eyes almost closed straight to bed. 

I stopped bringing things every night about two weeks in when a new toothbrush appeared next to Harrys and an oversized t-shirt of Harrys found its way onto my side of the bed. We also ditched the awkward pleasantries. Spending two or three nights a week in his house, I’d become pretty familiar with it all. I sometimes brought us breakfast if it was a weekend, or left a coffee beside the bed for him if I left for work first, We had very easily slipped into an oddly familiar sense of domesticity. It was strange to never mention any of it to our friends, it made it special though. We helped each other, and it was all just between the two of us. Nobody else knew Harry taught me how to make coffee just the way he likes it, or that we share his lavender shampoo sometimes. 

“Ols?” Harry calls up the stairs to me. We’re running late to Julia and Theos anniversary dinner. 

“Coming!” I yell back, reaching into his wardrobe to snatch a jacket before running down the stares. 

“Oi! Slow down love, you’re gonna fall,” He complains, holding his hands out at the bottom of the stairs to catch me as I skid a little on the wooden floors of his hallway. “Hey! This’s mine!” 

He tugs playfully on the opening of his jacket. I pull the fabric from his grasp and smile up at him. 

“Not anymore…” He scrunches his nose up and pulls me towards him. The sudden movement pushed the air from my lungs suddenly. “-Fine! Just for tonight...nobody’ll notice anyway, you only just got his one.” 

He shakes his head, bringing his fingers up to tickles across my stomach quickly before letting me go and clapping his hands. 

“Shoes now!” He points down at my sock clad feet, “Come on we’re late already.” 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and slip my boots on before trailing after him to the front door. He’s pulled his large green coat off the hangar before he’s looking back down at me, brows pulled together in confusion. 

“What’ve got yeh bag for?” 

“Ah see Harry, I tend not to leave my stuff places I don’t actually live.” I laugh.

“You’re not coming back tonight?” The confusion’s not joined by a hint of sadness as his hands fall from the door knob and he turns to face front on. 

“Oh I..hadn’t thought ‘bout that. I’ve gotta water my plants.” I haven't been home in two days, I spent the whole day at Blondies yesterday then headed to Harry's after a few drinks with him and Nick. We’ve hung out around his house all day, sleeping in and finishing our last few bits of work for the week. “I can let them go a little dry I guess-” 

“Can I come to yours?” Harry cuts me off to ask. “It’s just, I haven’t ever seen it..and that way your plant’ll be fine.” 

I stay quiet for a second. Our world of sleepovers and movie marathons and home made curries for dinner existed within his house. My flat was small in comparisons to the homes of our friends, who were all, delicately put, pretty well off. Not that I wasn’t, I’d just gone into a lower paying area of my industry. I lived alone anyway so there wasn’t much point paying thousands in rent when I didn’t need much space. 

“It’s fine it you want a night to yourself I can just-” 

“It’s not that, H, I just didn't really think about how we only ever come here.” I mumble the last part, “Come back to mine, I don’t feel like going back on my own anyways.” 

I smile a little, unsure of where we stand on the whole admitting we’d grown pretty dependent on each other’s presence, front. He smiles back, twisting the door open and holding it for me as I slip under his arm. 

The car clicks unlocked and I settle into my seat. I reach over to push my seat belt in as Harry pulls his door shut and the car rumbles to a start. 

“Can’t believe Jules and T have been together so long.” He sighs as we pull out onto the main road. 

“Tell me about it,” I gaze out the window as rain dribbles lightly. “Feels like the year just went straight by.”

“They seem so happy still, like they’re still honeymooning,” Harry hums. 

“I remember when they just started going out in Uni, even then it was obvious they’d end up together.” 

“I like those kinds of people. The ones who make each other just completely themselves, ya know?” He glances over at me before turning back to the road. 

“Yeah...they’re proper soulmates aren’t they.” 

. . . . . 

“Okay but seriously, what the fuck is up with you and Harry?” Eleanor bursts out as soon as we reach the bar. We’ve been sent off to get the third round whilst the others stayed at our favourite booth of the pub we frequented. 

“Wait what?” I yell over the loud chatter of the pub, “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean!” She’s still waving her hand out for the bartender when she glances down at me again. “You’re tryna say you’re suddenly so close and nothing’s happened between you?” 

“We’re not that close.” I quip, “We’ve just talked a bit more lately, I guess.”

“And nothing’s happened?”  She raised a brow at me suspiciously. “You guys have left together every night for the past few weeks, just admit you have feelings for each other.” 

“No, nothing’s happened.” I sigh, unsure if I sound convincing or not. “We just live close and it’s too cold now to get the tube back so late, he’s just being nice. You know Harry...he’s like that with everyone.” 

Eleanor laughs a little, shaking her head. She places our order with the bartender when he makes his way to our side of the bar before turning back to me with her arms crossed. 

“He’s nice to everyone, but he’s not just being nice to you.” She smirks, “And he usually doesn't give just anybody his clothes.” 

She reaches out and rubs the fabric of my - Harrys - jacket between her thumb and forefinger. She looks up and quirks her brows up a little again. Before I can splutter out an explanation our drinks are being laid out on the counter beside us and Eleanor is pointing to the ones for me to carry and turning back to our booth. 

A surge of anxiety washes over me as I follow Eleanor back to the group. My breaths feel unsteady and I can’t help but dart my eyes to get a quick glance at Harry to see if he’s experiencing the same kind of interrogation. He seems fine though, laughing at something Nicks said. 

Soon we’re at the booth, slipping back into our seats and setting the drinks out in front of everyone. Harry’s eyes hover on me for a few seconds, brows raised a little in question. I smile and shake my head - everything’s fine. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor glances between us throughout the whole night. Especially not when a different two get up for the next round and Harry and I are pushed next to each other when they climb back into the available seats. Harry seems a little suspicious too. He clearly hasn’t noticed Eleanor’s strange behaviour - or doesn’t care - because he’s kept gazing down at me every now and then since we came back with drinks hours ago. When I stop looking up at him, nervous Eleanor might question me about his constant and slightly nervous glances when we’re alone, he reaches his hand under the tables and pulls mine into his lap. He squeezes our hands every now and then. He’s always a touchy, cuddly drunk. Normally it’s a bit more obvious; he’ll wrap his arms around one of us on the dance floor or lap his head on a shoulder, nothing too intimate. Just friendly. But now he’s stroking his thumb over my knuckles and tapping out the beat of the current song playing with his foot, his knee bumping mine. 

Julia and Theo are the first to go. Relief settles in me at the idea of not being the first two to leave for once. There’s no way Eleanor wouldn't’ve have noticed me and Harry sneaking the other a glance like we usually do to signal we’re ready to go, without some kind of distraction. 

“It was so lovely guys, feels like we haven’t just sat down and talked in so long!” Julia smiles, leaning into Theos side tiredly as they say their goodbyes. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too, it’s getting pretty late,” I smile, waiting for Harry to speak when Theo pipes up before him. 

“Livs, you want a lift?” Theo looks down at me. 

“Oh Olivia, that’s a good idea, you were just saying how it’s too cold for the tube.” Eleanor beams, smiling cheekily as she knows I’m the only one who’ll understand her subtle teasing. 

“Oh I-” I stutter before Harry’s squeezing my hand again and looks up at Theo. 

“I was actually gonna take her home, we’re only 10 minutes apart so it’s just easier.” He smiles politely, if I couldn’t feel his foot hooking over mine I’d believe he was just being nice and helping out a friend. 

“Yeah but you’re gonna stay a little while aren’t you?” Julia countered, “We’re pretty close, it’s fine really.” 

I nod, motioning to slide out of the booth. Harry lets me by, dropping my hand before anyone else could see. Julia, Theo and I say goodbye quickly and head out to the car park. As soon as we’re all strapped into their car, I pull out my phone and click Harry’s contact. 

Me 

Meet me at mine x

Harry 

Okay - what was that about? 

Me 

I’ll explain when u get here, just something w Eleanor

U might have been right about the jacket :/ 

Theo pulls up outside my flat and I jump out the car, thanking them quickly and waving them off. I climb the stairs of my building and click the keys in my door, pushing it open and kicking my shoes off the second I get in. After a fifteen minute frantic clean, the place is looking slightly better. There’s no time to perfect it as I hear my phone buzzing on the counter, a dorky photo of Harry in one of his infamous sweaters all sprawled out on the sofa and sticking his tongue out at me flashes the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, I’m just outside,” He talks softly, “What number are you?” 

“24, wait a sec and I’ll buzz you up.” 

I tread quickly to the button by my front door and let him up, hearing a quiet thanks over the phone and a “See you in a sec”  before the line goes dead. 

A minute later there’s a quiet knock at my door. I open it and see Harry, he looks a little more tired than when I left him forty minutes ago, he rubs his knuckles under his eyes and sighs softly. 

“Hey, come in.” I pull the door a little wider, stepping aside to let him inside. He walks past me, eyes watching the floor whilst I lock the up behind us and turn to face him. There's an awkward tension in the air that I haven’t experienced with Harry before, maybe a little that first night when I walked in on him in his kitchen, but nothing like this since we’ve gotten closer.  

“What happened?” He asks quietly, lifting his head with an uncertain look on his face.”You barely even looked at me. 

“I..” I stumble over what to say, I’ve been thinking I could just explain what Eleanor had said and have it done with but now I know we’re not going to be able to just leave this. If somebody’s going to find out about our arrangement then something would have to change. “Ellie thinks there’s something going on with us and she kept staring all night. I just, I couldn’t give her anything to be suspicious about.” 

“S’that what you mean about the jacket?” I nod, “What did she say?” 

“Just that we seemed closer, talk more I guess.” I sigh, “She didn’t believe anything I said.” 

“What did you say?” He presses. His tone is unclear, he seems less hurt now and more focussed on getting answers from me. 

“I just, I told her nothing’s happened.” I mumble, “She asked about us leaving together and I told her it was just because we lived close and it’s easier than the tube.” 

Harry bobs his head a little, taking in what I’ve just told him before laughing a little. He shakes his head and brings his palms up to his face, cursing under his breath. We stand in the quiet of my hallway before he speaks up again.

“Can we still do this?” That catches me off guard. Of course I knew we’d have to stop sometime when one of us started dating or a friend found out, I just hadn’t thought seriously about it happening anytime soon. “If she does find out, would that be the worst thing in the world?”

I shake my head, taking a step towards him to close the gap between us that’d been building my nerves throughout this whole exchange. 

“I don’t wanna stop hanging out.” I confess. Harry quirks his lips up a little, obviously relieved as he pulls me to his chest. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his chin on my head as we breathe together for a moment. All the while we’ve been spending nights at his, there’s been no serious moments like this. We’ve opened up about vulnerable subjects and confessed more than we probably should have to each other, but never anything like this. There’d never been a  time I thought I could lose him. 

“What if something did happen.” He whispers into my hair. 

“Like what?” I murmur, voice a little muffled by his jacket. 

“Like..” He trails off a little and I’m pretty sure I hear him inhale a little and smell my hair. “Like what if I kissed you..or something.” 

“Or something?” My chest tightens, stomach fluttering suddenly. 

“Mmhhhmm,” He hums, “What would happen then?” 

“Eleanor would have a field day.” 

Harry laughs, shoulders shaking a little as he giggles above me. He loosens his grip on my and pushes away to create a little space to see me again. 

“Oh yeah?” He teases. 

“Uh huh,” I smile, “She’d never let us forget it if she knew she was right.” 

“And what would she be right about?” Harry lifts his hand to cup my face, tilting it slightly to make sure I’m staring right up at him. 

“..Something..happening.” I whisper, “Having feelings for eachother.” 

Harry grins, cheeks a soft rosy between the outside cold and the new blush. He strokes the pad of his thumb against my cheek and beams down at me. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Uh huh…” 

“Really..she’d be right about that?” 

“I’m pretty sure-” 

Before I can tease anymore, Harry’s leaning down to press his lips against mine. I inhale sharply, closing my eyes and looping my arms around the back of his neck to hold us in place. His hand still holds my face firmly, thumb fluttering over my cheek a couple times before he pulls away and we both breathe in deep. 

“She’s definitely right.” He smiles, tone turning serious for a moment. “I really like you Olivia.” 

Butterflies surge through my stomach for the millionth time since he walked through my door. Blushing and happy, I tighten my arms and push my face back into his shoulder. 

“I like you too H….just a little bit.” 

“We don’t have to tell anyone, just want this to be ours for a little while.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back down to whisper into my ear. 

“I want this to be ours forever.” I hum, words quiet and part of me hoping he doesn't hear my honest confession. 

A comforting quiet settles over us. I remember how tired I really am as I melt further into Harry’s body, breathing in the sweet cinnamon and vanilla scent. His breathing lulls me half to sleep as I let my eyes flutter shut and bury my head further into his neck. I feel him lifting me up as my body relaxes against his and I catch his last few words before I he’s shifting me into his arms and walking us up the stairs. 

“I could hold you ‘n listen to your voice all night long, love.” 

. . . . .    

“Oh my god!” Julia yells out, unravelling a long shawl from pristine white tissue paper. “Okay whoever got me, thank you so much!” 

She continues to squeal a little as he wraps it over her shoulders and presses the end to her nose, inhaling the lavender scent of her favourite designer brand. 

I’d only spent one Christmas with the whole group before but it was clear secret Santa was a bit of a tradition. Between the six of us we all had other friends, family and mostly, relationships. Organising a secret santa within our group just relieved some of the stress of present buying - and it was fun. 

We’re all sitting around Harry’s living room, it felt the homiest  to us after all. The kiddy advent calendar I bought for him hung by the fireplace reading December 21st. We’ve all finished our egg nogs, meaning it was officially present time. Over the next few days we’ll all be driving up and down the country to visit family, meaning today’s the last day most of us will be seeing each other. Harry had whined about me leaving, begging me to stay another day with him or better yet - spend christmas with his family up north. 

It was when I told him my own parents were spending the holidays visiting my sister and her kids in New York that his campaign started. We kissed almost three months ago now and have been on a slew of dates since. Between all the secret dinners out, brunches and farmers market trips, we haven’t found time for the talk. We had no official title. I’ve heard Harry refer to me as “m’girl” a couple times when I’ve wandered into the kitchen and overheard him on the phone to mitch, but nothing he’s told me himself. Despite this, he still insists I have to come and spend christmas with him and his close family. The idea of me hanging out with my young cousins and distant relatives apparently doesn’t satisfy him. 

“Are you serious!” Eleanor gasps as she unwraps her own present. Everyone had picked the perfect gifts for each other this year. In a pure coincidence, I ended up with Harry’s name after Nick made me trade because he’d already bought Julia’s present for her. I’ve been nervous about it all evening, I was sure he’d like it, a little too sure. That was the problem. One night, wrapped up in Harry’s bed, he’d recalled his latest tragedy to me: He’d taken shroom with Mitch on his last trip to LA and subsequently decided to skinny dip in the sea, losing his favourite mustard cords in the process. The only times we’ve seen everyone else has been with the both of us present and , to my knowledge, he hasn’t mentioned this to anyone else. The brown paper package that sat on the coffee table could invite a few more questions that I was prepared to answer. 

“Harry, you’re next!” Ellie grinned, hugging her present to her chest. 

Thanks to our early secrecy, there’s been no opportunity to tell our friends we were dating. Eleanor hasn’t stopped her constant questioning but we’ve kept up a pretty good front of excuses. It was still freezing out so it made sense for us both to climb into his car together at the end of the night. Nobody had to know we would be going home to the same house where we’d climb into the same heavenly bed and scramble eggs together in the morning. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Harry laughs as Ellie tries to hurry him up, playing perfectly into her role as the youngest in our group. 

He pulls the first fold of paper back with his ringed fingers and immediately looks up at me as the mustard fabric shines up at him. He grins wide, beaming back at me before pulling the rest of the paper back and laying the trousers out in front of him. 

“No babe...where did you find them?” He’s running his fingers down the cord, in awe to have his favorite trousers back - or at least a copy. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor and Nick’s heads turn to share a look of shock as the pet name tumbles out. Before I can put anything together, Harry’s standing and leaning over the coffee table. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug and whispering his thanks in my ear. 

“Wait I dont - how did you know it was h-” Julia pipes up, before she can finish she’s cut off by the joint gasps of Nick and Ellie as Harry plants a wet kiss to my cheek - then my lips, and laughs at our friends reaction. 

“I knew it!” Ellie yells, pointing frantically between the two of us, Harry now having stepped over the table and come to sit next to me, pulling me into his side.

“What was-” Julia stammers, “Since when!” 

Harry’s eyes flutter down to my face. He giggles quietly when he catches on to my glare. This wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined the evening going. 

“Have you just been lying to my face for the past three months?” Ellie asks, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting her lips. 

“Five,” Harry mumbles, almost just as an inside joke for the both of us to enjoy. I slap my hand against his shoulder to shut him up but the damage is already done. 

“Five months!” Even Theo’s joining in now. “How didn’t we know?” 

“It didn’t start out like this honestly, we would’ve told you.” I try and explain, eager for this to quiet down so we could get to the roast dinner waiting for us in the oven. 

“How did it start?” Nick pokes, drawing Julia and Ellie’s attention as the same puzzled expressions adorn their faces. 

“Unimportant,” Harry brushes off, standing up to tower over us all and reaching a hand back for my own. “We better get dinner, we wouldn't want burnt potatoes.” 

Harry pulls on my arm gently, leading me out the room before anyone can object. 

In the kitchen, he picks up a tea towel and starts to check on the food, prodding at the parsnips. I roll my eyes as he ties his lavender apron around his waist and tentatively pulls the potato tray from the oven. 

“Harry..” I sigh, trying not to laugh as he turn to face me, spatula in hand. 

“Yes dear?”  

“What was that?” 

“Oh - You’ve gotta shimmy a little spatula under the potatoes or they’ll break apart-” 

“No, obviously not that,” He makes it so hard so stay stern, a giggle leaks out as he lifts a hand to rest on his hip. “Why did you do that?” 

“I want them to know.” drops his utensils, tone sincere as he takes another step towards me. “I want our friends to know how much I love you already, and you remember about my mustard cords so..it felt like the perfect time.” 

“What?” I stutter, looking up at him from where he’s pulled me into his chest. His hands rest on my waist, rings a little hold against my exposed skin. 

“You remembered the trousers I lost last month in LA -”

“You love me?” 

His eyes go a little wide, a smile peaking through as the sides of his mouth quirk upwards. Realising what he just said, he lifts a hand from my waist to rest it against my face and lean down a little. 

“Of course I love you.” He whispers, his voice a little croaky and I can see tiny droplets gathering in his eyes that make my heart flutter. 

“Love you too..” I mumble. I wipe a thumb over his cheek before pulling him down into a kiss. I feel his smile against my own, and everything’s perfect for just a second. 

“So you’ll come to Christmas with me?” 

. . . . .

Hiii I hate the ending :)

Tysm for reading !! pls leave a like or reblog (it rlly helps <3) if you enjoyed it x

[popculturebuffet]

Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE  FINALE

We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks. 

But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this. 

You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air  May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this. 

Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time.  Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay. 

I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished? 

It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW.  And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order. 

Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close. 

And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut

So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss. 

But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds. 

Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “ 

So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.

Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was. 

But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon. 

Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well. 

Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass. 

Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why. 

Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won. 

Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out. 

Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives 

Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.

So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again. 

But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up

So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day. 

Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.

 The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.

Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.

While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.

But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.

We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy. 

In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it. 

So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...

And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has. 

But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.

"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"

The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying. 

Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE? 

And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself. 

This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face. 

Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan.  Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop

Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick. 

Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”. 

Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia: 

The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back. 

Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things. 

As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man. 

So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back. 

Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing. 

So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD. 

His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her. 

So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home. 

So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING. 

Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes. 

Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.

As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”. 

But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale.  This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here. 

As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.

And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure. 

[keanureevesisbae]

Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 5

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: Mentions of an ear infection and vomit (doesn’t know if that needs a warning though)

Wordcount: 4k

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Henry made reservations at a place where I’ve never been to. It’s fancy, yet cosy and probably insanely expensive. He told me not to worry about it for a single second, but that’s easier said than done. Every sip I take of my wine and every bite I take of the pasta, I can almost hear coins clattering somewhere in the background.

‘I never knew you had tattoos,’ Henry says eventually.

I stare down at my arm, after I rolled up my sleeve, since it’s pretty hot in here. ‘Yeah, I usually cover them up. My boss doesn’t think it’s professional.’ I hold out my arm, to show him the inside of my arm. ‘Vanessa likes to color them,’ I say, point to some where you can see a faint hint of colors, in the outline of a few flowers.

Henry gently holds my wrist. He hand nearly engulfs my wrist, only adding fuel to the  fact that Henry is a lot bigger than me fact. ‘I like this one,’ he says, his thumb caressing the tattoo of Vanessa’s name and date of birth. ‘I always thought that if I ever had kids, I’d tattoo their names somewhere.’

Of course he would do that. That seems like the biggest dad move and it would fit him perfectly. He doesn’t have tattoos, but knowing that the name of his kid would be the first, is something that makes my heart flutter.

‘Do these tattoos have any sort of meaning?’ he asks, after he let go of my wrist.

I shrug. ‘Not really. My ex was really into having tons of tattoos and I kind of went with it. I also did it to piss off my mom.’

‘Did you succeed?’

‘Of course I did,’ I laugh. ‘She hated them with a passion, but since I was already in college, she couldn’t really say anything about it. Besides, it wasn’t like I started smoking weed again, so she was kind of grateful in the end.’

‘You used to smoke?’ he asks, his eyes nearly rolling out of their sockets in disbelieve.

I chuckle. ‘I did, when I was around sixteen. I did it for like a year.’

‘Damn, doctor Olivia Tran is a total bad ass,’ Henry laughs, his eyes smiling as well.

‘You never smoked weed?’ I ask in disbelieve. ‘Mister Cavill, I’m deeply disappointed in you.’

‘I’m very sorry.’ Henry takes a sip of his wine. ‘Why did you want to become a vet?’

‘I was always obsessed with animals,’ I confess. ‘At home we never had pets. My mom thought dogs were disgusting, because they lick themselves and my dad is allergic to cats. My brother Jesse once had a fish, but he died within twenty four hours after he bought him, so he was traumatized and my other brother Levi hated animals in general, so yeah… No pets in the Tran household. My friends all had animals and I would love them when I visited. I even became a dog walker for awhile and professional animal sitter when our neighbors went on a holiday.’

‘Impressive,’ he notes. ‘How old are your brothers?’

‘Right now they are thirty seven and thirty four,’ I try to remember.

‘You have any idea how they are right now?’

I shake my head, all of the sudden feeling a bit of an emptiness in my heart. Growing up my brothers and I were so close. I was their little sister, their princess. It’s still beyond me that something like that could change within a heartbeat. ‘No idea,’ I admit. ‘My brothers aren’t the biggest fans of social media and I’m not going to cave and talk to them first. Not after what they did.’

Henry sits up a bit more straight and leans a bit forward, placing his hand on mine. His thumb caresses my fingers. Normally I’m not too keen on people touching me, but this feels so familiar, so safe. ‘I understand,’ he says. ‘I can’t believe your family ditched you just like that.’

‘Would your family have done that?’ I quietly ask.

He shakes his head. ‘Absolutely not,’ he says. ‘They would’ve loved the kid.’

‘Must be nice to have a family like that.’

He shrugs, probably not wanting to hurt my feelings.

‘Sometimes I wished I could’ve give Vanessa that type of family,’ I admit, without even thinking about it. I turn my hand around, so our palms touch each other. It feels even more intimate. ‘She wonders why she doesn’t have a dad or grandparents or uncles.’

‘What do you say to her?’ he wonders.

‘That her father doesn’t want her and that my side of the family didn’t like it, when I got pregnant with her.’

‘That must be pretty hard for her, right?’

I nod. ‘Belle told me that she didn’t think it was right for me to say it as bluntly as I did, but I don’t want to lie to her. Besides, what do I have to tell Vanessa? I don’t know who your dad is? I don’t have a family?’

‘Right,’ Henry says, frowning a bit in the process.

I don’t want to talk about this anymore, because my family is one of the biggest disappointments in my life. ‘Vanessa was really happy when I told her you asked me out,’ I say, seeing his face light up when I mentioned it. ‘I picked her up from school today and when I told her, she insisted on helping me pick out an outfit.’

‘She picked this out?’ he asks.

‘Only the shoes.’

‘I should thank her, then.’

I stick out my tongue, before I burst out in laughter.

‘Have you dated since you had Vanessa?’ he asks.

‘I haven’t,’ I confess. ‘I actually swore to myself that I’d ban men all together out of my life, unless Keanu Reeves came knocking at my door.’

Henry brings a hand to his lips, to suppress some laughter, but he fails miserably. ‘And yet you agreed on going on a date with me.’

‘Guess I have a thing for handsome men with chubby dogs.’

He lets out a chuckle. ‘Good thing I have a thing for veterinarians who drag me across the examination room after I passed out.’

I snicker. ‘I do have to ask you something,’ I say, before taking a sip of his wine. It would be a lot more practical if I could use the other hand as well, but I want to touch his hand so badly, that this is a discomfort I’ll endure. ‘Why me?’

His frown shows me that he doesn’t understand.

‘Why did you ask me out?’

Henry smiles. ‘I would be an idiot if I let you slip through my fingers, wouldn’t I?’

‘How romantic,’ I chuckle.

‘It’s true,’ he simply states. ‘I admire you in such a way… You are an amazing vet, an extraordinary mother and just a wonderful woman in general. I have never met someone quite like you, Olivia. You are truly one of a kind.’

When was the last time someone said something like that to me? I dated Wesley for five years, but not once was anything he said to me, this kind of romantic. He always mentioned my looks, how my body looked, but never about my qualities.

I clear my throat. ‘So, the whole I have a kid thing doesn’t bother you?’

‘Why would that bother me?’

Does he need to be this perfect? I cock an eyebrow, before I say: ‘Because guys are usually scared off when there is a child in the mix.’

Henry shrugs, also taking a sip of his wine. ‘Guess I’m not like other guys then. It really doesn’t matter to me,’ he says. ‘I like you, with or without a kid. Besides, Vanessa is a wonderful girl. You are doing such an excellent job with her,’ he continues. ‘You are raising her so well. She is polite, smart and is such a unique girl in general. I don’t think I’ve ever met a kid that age like her.’

‘Shut up, Henry,’ I say, dapping the corners of my eye dry, hoping to prevent myself from bursting out in tears.

‘I mean it, though,’ he whispers.

During dinner, he finds out a lot about me. He was impressed when I told him I used to be pretty active in gymnastics, but had to quit due to a nasty knee injury when I was thirteen. About the fact that I was forced to play piano as a kid, but somehow ended up playing a bit of guitar and how I still want to pick that up again, but barely have time.

I find out that he is really close to his brothers and his parents, something that is lovely for him, but makes me a bit jealous. I wish I had that. But also, that he has difficulties picking up acting again.

‘Why?’ I ask.

‘That last movie I did, was the biggest flop in Hollywood.’

I bet he is exaggerating, but I keep my mouth shut.

‘And I just kind of lost some drive to pick up the whole acting again and…’

It’s impossible for me to keep my mouth shut now. ‘And you want to start a family of your own, right?’

His eyes widen. ‘How do you know about that?’

‘You’re famous, Henry and I’m curious. Go figure.’

He blushes, as if he got caught. ‘Well, it is something that crosses my mind, yeah.’

I smile. ‘That’s only normal,’ I say to him.

‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want to start one right now, it’s just that—’

‘You need to find someone compatible,’ I interrupt him, taking notice of his discomfort. ‘I understand. You want someone that is not in it for the money, for the fame or for the sex, you want someone serious.’

‘Right,’ he says, clearly relieved that I understand.

‘Good thing I want something serious too,’ I admit. ‘I’m really not in the mood, ever, for bullshit, Henry. I passed that station a long time ago. The fact that you are willing for something serious, it’s a big relief for me.’

He opens his mouth to say something, but he is interrupted by someones phone. My phone to be exact. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say, pulling my hand back, to grab my phone. ‘It’s Belle.’

‘Please take it,’ he says.

‘Hi Belle,’ I say when I pick up.

‘I’m so sorry, Olivia,’ I hear my best friend say from the other end of the line. ‘But Vanessa is not feeling well.’

I can even hear her crying in the background. ‘Is she okay?’ I ask.

‘I don’t know what’s with her,’ Belle confesses. ‘She has been crying for the last fifteen minutes and nothing works. I checked her forehead, but she’s not really hot or anything and I don’t want to bother you, because this is the first time in forever that you’re on a date, but I don’t know what to do anymore.’

‘Don’t feel sorry, Belle, you did your best. I’m coming home and you tell Vanessa that…’

I can barely finish my sentence, when I hear a sobbing Vanessa on the phone. ‘Mommy, I’m in pain and I want you home.’

This isn’t the moment for me to start panicking. ‘Angel, don’t you worry. I’m coming home, sweetheart and I’ll try to see what I can do for the pain. You go hug Kal and auntie Belle and I’ll be on my way.’

‘Is Superman coming with you?’ she asks in between sobs.

I smile. ‘Yes, sweetheart, I’m bringing Superman with me. I love you so much and I’ll be home before you know it.’

‘I love you too, mommy.’

I bet she hands Belle the phone and she says: ‘To make things even worse, I’m on call and someone just called for a sick beagle.’

‘We’ll be there shortly, okay?’

‘I’m so sorry, Olivia,’ Belle continues to apologize, but I simply dismiss it and eventually hang up the phone.

‘Is everything okay?’ Henry asks.

‘Vanessa isn’t feeling too well and Belle has to go to the clinic and I need to go home to them. I’m so sorry, Henry.’

He simply shakes his head. ‘We both knew that this was a possibility,’ he says, ‘and besides: Vanessa is and should be your number one priority. No need to feel sorry, I totally understand. I’ll go pay and we’ll go back to your place.’

≫≫≪≪

Vanessa hasn’t stopped crying ever since we came back. Belle had to rush to the clinic for the beagle, after she apologized for over five minutes. Vanessa buried her face in the crook of my neck and I can feel her burning up with a fever.

After prying for about ten minutes, I finally figured out what’s up with my little girl: she has a nasty ear infection, but that is nothing we can’t handle. My mother used to chop up some onions, to place it on the infected ear. I never really understood why that worked, but somehow the pain subdued in a matter of two days and while I was still groggy afterwards, the pain in my ear always went away shortly.

I walk back to the kitchen when the cries have turned a bit softer, to see Henry chopping up onions into tiny pieces.

‘How is she?’ Henry asks, blinking his eyes fast, because of the onions.

‘Really feverish.’ I sit on a stool and give Vanessa a kiss on her head.

‘I’m almost done,’ Henry says. ‘Though I have no idea what to do with the onions.’

‘If you hold her when you’re finished, I’ll take care of it.’

He washes his hands and I stand up, before I whisper in Vanessa’s ear: ‘Henry is going to hold you for a minute, okay?’

Vanessa nods and places her head on his broad shoulder when he holds her. I know that this isn’t the moment, but this really warms my heart, seeing Henry like a true dad. When he drove back to my place, he nearly broke all the speed limits, because he desperately wanted to be with Vanessa, not wanting her to be without her mother any longer.

‘Can you make me feel better?’ Vanessa asks in a tiny voice, when I prepare the gauze so I can fill it with the chopped onions. ‘You are Superman.’

‘What can I do to make you feel better?’ Henry asks.

‘Sing something for me,’ she mumbles.

He doesn’t say anything at all, making me think he stiffened up and is finding a way out of this, but then he asks: ‘What do you want me to sing for you, sunshine?’

‘You’re Welcome,’ she whispers. ‘That song Maui sings in Moana.’

I want to ask if he knows that song, but all of the sudden I hear his soft and deep voice, singing the lyrics.

‘What can I say except “you’re welcome”? For the tides, the sun, the sky.’

The gauze is ready and I turn around, a smile evident on my face, since I can’t help but melt at this sight. He is singing for her. I never pecked Henry for a guy that would sing, but my daughter has him wrapped around her finger.

He sits on a chair, so I can reach Vanessa’s ear a bit better. ‘Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re welcome. I’m just an ordinary demi-guy.’

I place the gauze with onions on her ear, wrap some bandages around her head and all that while Henry is singing. By the time I’m done, Vanessa has fallen asleep. The loud crying must’ve exhausted her. ‘We should place her on the couch for now,’ I whisper. ‘If I’m not with her in bed, she’ll notice right away.’

Henry stands up and carefully places Vanessa on the couch once he’s in the living room. He places a hand on her forehead and says: ‘Maybe we should open a window.’

I open the window till it’s ajar and I watch as Kal places his head against her thigh, a sweet reminder that he is there for her.

Henry and I take place at the table, so I can look at Vanessa and Kal. Henry sits right next to me and for some reason, it makes me feel really safe and comforted. ‘I’m sorry, Henry,’ I finally say. ‘This is probably not at all what you had in mind when you were asking me out.’

He simply shrugs. ‘It’s okay,’ he says. ‘I’m just sad that Vanessa isn’t feeling well.’

‘She told me she felt a bit snotty and sick earlier today, but I didn’t expect a full blown ear infection.’

Henry simply nods, before placing his large hand on my leg. Do not faint, Olivia Tran, I swear do not faint! ‘You have to go to work tomorrow?’

‘I do,’ I admit. ‘And I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I can’t call in sick, again, because my boss will kill me if I do so, but I’m not taking a sick kid with me to work and—’

‘I can look after her,’ he says.

Excuse me, what? ‘Excuse me, what?’ I say out loud.

‘I can look after her,’ he repeats. ‘I have nothing to do, so you can go to sleep and then tomorrow, you’ll go to work.’

I blink away some tears in my eyes, that start to collect there at an admirably fast speed. ‘Henry, I can’t ask that from you.’

‘Good thing I’m offering,’ he says with a soft smile. ‘Really, I don’t want you to get in trouble and besides, I don’t want to leave Vanessa when she’s feeling like this.’

≫≫≪≪

I don’t know what I did in life to deserve a man like Henry Cavill. After we talked for a bit (and him promising that he really hasn’t anything to do tomorrow), I went to bed with Vanessa and Henry placed a mattress in the room, falling asleep there with Kal.

But during the night, every time I was awake, he was too, forcing himself to stay awake. He even opened a window, so Vanessa could continue to cool off. He placed a thin blanket over her, creating the illusion that she was covered, while he covered me with a thicker blanket, so I wouldn’t grow cold.

I made him promise to call me if anything happened, but nothing happened. He send me three pictures: one of Kal guarding a sleeping Vanessa who lays sprawled out on the couch, one of Vanessa with freshly cut onions on her ear and one of her and Henry and I need to fight the urge to change that my wallpaper into that picture.

Vanessa is seated on his lap, her thumb in her mouth (something she only does when she’s sick) and her head placed against his chest. Though Henry looks tired from not sleeping at all, he is still smiling and I can’t help but envision a future with those two.

During the day, all sorts of scenario’s jump through my mind. Me coming home from work, to find Vanessa and him waiting for me. Henry and I in our bed and due to a thunderstorm, Vanessa barges into to the room, so she can lay with us. Henry picking her up from school. Henry going with me to the parent teacher meetings, so I don’t have to face miss Sue or some other bitch by myself.

Henry being the father figure that Vanessa so desperately needs.

After a day where it seemed like every second passed by at least three times, I’m on my way back home. I open the front door and I hear soft giggles from the living room. I close the door behind me, slip out of my shoes, all while I hear Henry say: ‘You’re doing a great job, sunshine.’

‘You’re very pretty, superman.’

I walk into the living room, to see Vanessa sitting on his lap, using her children’s make-up kit, coloring in Henry’s face. He looks ridiculous, with his bright blue forehead and green cheeks.

‘Mommy, you’re back!’ Vanessa says. She dismisses her make-up kit and walks up to me. I meet her halfway and pepper her cheek with kisses. ‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too, how are you feeling?’ I place my hand on her forehead and feel she isn’t as hot as she was when I left, but seeing her teary eyes, I know she is still sick, but feeling a lot better from the looks of it.

‘Tired,’ she admits. ‘And body ache.’

‘Understandably so. Have you been sweet to Henry and Kal?’

She nods. ‘I puked. though,’ she admits.

‘Oh no, sweetie, where?’

‘Over Kal.’

Then I notice indeed that Kal is a bit wet, while he is placed on a few towels. ‘Oh.’

‘Yeah,’ Henry says, ‘I used your bath tub for a little clean up session.’

‘That’s totally fine,’ I say with a smile. ‘What is that smell?’

‘I made some pasta,’ he answers, while it’s really hard to take him seriously with those weird colors on his face.

‘How about you wash your face and I’m going to see what this sweetheart wants for dinner?’

‘I want a fruit smoothie,’ Vanessa says and that is really typical for her when she’s sick to order fruit smoothies. ‘And maybe a bite of your pasta.’

Henry cleans up his face and by the time I have finished the fruit smoothie with oranges and bananas, Vanessa has already fallen asleep on the couch again. Not wanting to wake her up, I decide to put the smoothie away, for when she wakes up again. I sit across from Henry at the table. ‘How was it today?’

‘It went okay,’ he says, ‘minus the puking accident of course, but other than that, it went good. We watched some movies mostly.’

I don’t know why this happens, but I feel some tears burning up in my eyes.

‘Why are you crying, Olivia?’ Henry asks, while changing seats, so he can sit next to me. He places his hand on the back of the chair.

‘It’s just that I don’t know what I would’ve done, if you didn’t offer to watch her today,’ I admit.

He smiles. ‘Come here,’ he whispers, pulling me against his broad chest and when I feel his massive arms engulfing me in a hug, tension in my body that has been building up there for God knows how long, slowly seems to fade away. I wrap my arms around his waist and he places his chin on top of my head.

Was a hug something I needed for all those years? Is that it?

For all these years, I have been pulling myself together, even when my worries nearly ate me up alive. But to share it with someone, who is already being such a great influence in not only Vanessa’s life, but also in mine, is something I never knew I needed.

‘Thank you, Henry,’ I whisper when I carefully pull back.

His large hands are placed on my shoulders and he smiles at me. ‘My pleasure, Olivia.’

I bite my lip and admit: ‘I think I’m falling for you.’

He nods. ‘Good thing I’m falling for you too.’

Just do it. He probably won’t mind. I know for a fact that he won’t mind. Look at what he said to me. He is falling for me too. I lean in and give him a short peck on his cheek, the five ‘o clock shadow already scratching against my lips. I don’t pull back immediately. My breath against his skin. I have to swallow hard to maintain some composure, but I’m ready to turn into a large puddle.

Henry turns his face, to give me a kiss on my lips. When was the last time I kissed a man? Right, it was when Wesley came home from his work. He gave me a short kiss on my lips, ten minutes before I told him about the pregnancy.

His lips brush against mine, even after the kiss. ‘Olivia,’ he says, his voice deep and nearly giving me the need to change my underwear, ‘this is the greatest way to end our prolonged date.’

I can’t help but chuckle. ‘It is,’ I whisper. And I don’t want it to end.

Ever.

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[marshmallowfin]

Drag Race season 13 first impressions and vibes:

I do this every year and I know no one cares but here are my unwanted opinions.

Kandy Muse: Her reputation proceeds her...in a bad way. I've seen how hateful she can be online and I just can't look past it; I can just tell she's gonna annoy me until she goes home. The look however was cute and the lipsync was fun, I can tell she's talented. I wanna try and view her without bias but it's gonna be tough.

Joey Jay: I was excited for her during the promo but couldn't get past the entrance look. Really? The panty was cut too low cut, the feathers were cheep and falling apart, the hair was supposed to look wet but it just looked a mess, like she didn't have time to dry her hair before coming. Just came across so unpolished and because I only got to to see her for like a collective 15 minutes I was just unimpressed. Lipsync was unimpressive, Kandy really let her have it, the only thing I remember was her punching her tiddie and the feathers falling off all over the stage.

Denali: The look was so right, head to toe, but that contour was so rough it was distracting. She seemed fun, I can see her succeeding. Again, only getting a couple of minutes with her just really left me wanting more, it felt lacking. For someone who was on literal ice skates she was pulling some impressive stunts I honestly thought she might have the lipsync but I'm not mad at the Lala win. I'm honestly just really neutral on her. I did like when she flashed us, it's really the only thing I remember from the lipsync. (Also the repeat song? Hello? Iconic Coco Montrese lipsync from season 5? I clocked it.)

LaLa Ri: The look: pedestrian, didn't fit her in any way and was just so basic it was almost sad. Wish it were a full pant and the jacket was tailored to her. Also not everyone is able to wear those flat little wigs, wish she had teased it up. Her vibes? Her smile? Stunning. She seems so warm and friendly and kind. I want her to succeed but the ONE TIME I got to see her she looked... unimpressive. I don't remember a single think she did in the lipsync not gonna lie...

Symone: fully obsessed during the promo, so beautiful in and out of drag and her sense of style is so interesting to me. Entrence look was a little on the simple side but effective. She's also from the same area is me so I know people who know her and are fully obsessed. One of my tops for sure. The lipsync was good but I really thought Tamish let her have it. Not mad she won but I would have made it a double win. (Maybe after a night of just okay lipsyncs I'm grasping at the only one that made me excited.) Also, nothing to do with her but she's Gigi Goode's sister and Gigi is for sure talented and I really liked her for the majority of her season but she's made some choices in the have been confusing at best; I worry Symone might share some of those opinions. Here's hoping that just my paranoia.

Tamisha Iman: she came across as cookie cutter pageant girl (not that there's anything wrong with that) in her promo so I wasn't really excited for her. Very pleasantly surprised. She walked in in that red power suit and long black hair TIDDIES OUT: I was shaken. She also seems to just radiate good energy, I'm really liking her. She and Symone had the most entertaining lipsync of the night, it felt close (I do think Miss Tamish turned the party a little hard but not enough to call it rigged.) I am a little heartbroken they made her tell her cancer story episode one, immediately after getting there, she killed a lipsync, then was sent on her way, she was amicably calm tho. I really like her.

Gottmik: Another I was SUPER excited for during promos and she's really giving it too me. The look was so interesting and flattering and the face was to die for topped off by that perfect black hair. Dead and in the ground. Lipsync...left much to be desired. The song was a bop and my jaw dropped when it started but neither of them gave me what Rumors deserved. I loved both the queens so much though I almost didn't care...almost. Also FIRST FTM QUEEN EVER ON THE SHOW I'M SO JWBDJDIBEBSKDE AND IM SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIM. King shit never been more insane and proud to be cisn't.

Utica Queen: I CAN TELL THIS BITCH IS NEURODIVERGENT AND SO AM I!!! SAME HAT!!! I love a bitch who has a distinct aesthetic and lives on a completely different planet. Her promo look was my favorite, she's so striking and the crazy mad hatter look was EVERYTHING. Entrance look was equally crazy and somehow all worked (maybe not the strawberry but I still loved the strawberry). I thought she was so fun during the lipsync and I couldn't take my eyes off of her (again, that might be because I find her so striking) I honestly thought she would win but again the lipsync as a whole was a little underwhelming. Her sad face at the end of the episode broke my heart, this premier was a little cruel to the losers.

Rosé: not gonna lie, I was disappointed in Rosé. Her look was so crazy and cool for the promo and she came into the competition wearing a pink cropped biker jacket and panty? (The look was cute enough and I like the designer but it was so meh) The hair was lovely and I thought the missing tooth was funny, it was a shame she wiped it off before anyone could see it. I totally understand being bitter about hyping yourself up as a LIPSYNC QUEEN and a major nyc girl and so established especially compared to someone like Olivia who has only be doing drag for a year and a half..then you lose...and you assume you're going home first...I TOTALLY GET IT but the edit worked on me and I was like wow what a bitch. The only person who has claimed to be nyc royalty I actually vibed with was Peppermint, I think it's like an instant turn off for someone to say they're the best whatever of nyc. (Not that I dislike nyc girls, just the ones that claim to be hot shit.)

Olivia Lux: Sweet summer child. Precious baby angel. I found her so cute and charming and silly in her promo and she came in in that VELVET (?) HALF PINK HALF YELLOW GOWN WITH THE ROUGING and that BEAUTIFUL blonde hair that looked so good again her sink and the long as ponytail and the fucking waves like a designer Barbie fresh out the box, I'm living. Another one of my favorites, the energy is just so right and so there. Had my 2nd favorite lipsync of the night and I was so proud of her for besting Rosé, someone she clearly looks up too so much. I would LOVE for this bitch to win but I can tell she's gonna be a Miss Congeniality.

Tina Burner: I can tell this one is gonna annoy me. Again a nyc royalty claim which is an instant minus, the look was not it (I love the designer but the look was so wrong), the hair hat was fun in concept but that red hair just didn't look right on her, she was definitely giving me sexy hotdog ketchup and mustard fantasy, and I don't know why but her face is just kinda scary to me?? It like makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I didn't really like her in the promos either, she just comes across as really full of herself. I'm like instantly getting the worst vibes. I have seen people online saying she's really funny and turns the fucking party but I found the lipsync boring and hard to pay attention too. I've seen so many people saying she's IT so I want her to prove me wrong, make me eat my hat.

Kahmora Hall: So insanely beautiful, a WOMAN, how DARE SHE. She's our current reignings sister so she has huge shoes to fill and I'm ready for her to fill them. I actually kinda liked her lipsync, she was doing the damn thing in a gown which is impressive. Wish I had gotten a little more of her. I'm sorta neutral on this one too, nothing from her promo or literal 15 minutes if screen time really impressed me nor turned me off of her.

Elliott with 2 Ts: The second she said she was a "housewife with a secret" I was sold. Something about that instantly endeared her to me and have not been able to stop saying it since. I thought the red two piece was nice and the cropped jacket was fun but the hair was not right. I find her so pretty in like an alien way. I honestly thought her lipsync was the best and I found myself drawn to her but it's so hard to tell with more then 2 people. Promo look was very like cool mom and I vibe.

As a whole...a very underwhelming premier, especially after the last seasons. Seemed really rushed and unnecessarily cruel to the losing girls. Especially telling them they're all going home then saying they're not but they need to choose one queen from them to go home...I'm so worried they're all gonna take one look at Utica and be like 'get this weirdo out of here', if a single person picks her to "go home" I'll scream and cry and piss on the floor.

[icyberriies]

Midnight Feels

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After a night of drinking, you share a bed with Tom and a conversation about certain feelings occurs.

Word Count: 876

Warnings: Language, a little bit of body image issues, fluff

A/N: This is a repost from an old account. Hope you guys like this!!

↓↓↓

It wasn’t a secret that you struggled with your appearance and a low self-esteem, but you’d feel comfortable enough before seeing Tom and Olivia talking, while wearing a stunning cocktail dress. 

It wasn’t a secret that Tom thought little of himself. Having only ever been with girls who have ended up cheating on him. 

It also wasn’t a secret that you have a crush on Tom, well everyone knew except him. 

It also wasn’t a secret that Tom has a crush on you, well everyone knew except you.

You see, you both thought that your feelings were unreciprocated and that the other would never want to date someone like you in a million years. But that wasn’t the case.

————

“Y/n,” Bella whined, three drinks too many ahead of you and Olivia. Tonight was meant to be a girls night as Bella had had a big fight with Peter causing her to mope around. You and 

decided that a girls night would cheer her up. It backfired as she hadn’t stopped refilling her cup. “When are you going to tell Tom your feelings for him?” She slurred. 

“Urmmm. I’m not?” You said, more like asked. 

“Why? What’s the worst that could happen?” Olivia butted in. 

“I could die. Or worse. He could fucking hear me.” You visibly shivered at the thought of the rejection that was so very clearly going to come with telling him your feelings. He didn’t like you. Why would he. Your soft round the middle. With a little extra weight on your cheeks and thighs it wasn’t a problem and you felt comfortable in yourself until you stood next to Olivia. 

“Girl. You need to sort out your priorities.” Olivia said, clicking her fingers sarcastically. “It will be fine. Plus, Harrison told me the other night that he feels the same way.”

“Oh my god. Your pillow talk is about me.” You gasped, over-dramatically. 

“Oh, piss off. But seriously, tell him how you feel.” 

“Nope.” You shook your head defiantly before getting up and announcing that it was getting late and was time for you to head to bed. 

When you were out of ear shot, Olivia turned to Bella. 

“We need to get those too together.” She whispered. 

“I agree. I’m sick and tired of seeing them pine over each other. It makes me want to throw up.” Wanda replied. 

“I’ll talk to Steve about it tonight and I’ll let you know our plan tomorrow.” Wanda made a small noise in agreement before Nat disappeared to her room, plans already forming in her head. 

The next morning you were woken by Friday informing you that you were needed in the briefing room. Pulling on sweatpants and an oversized shirt and groaning, you headed to the front room. 

“Y/n. Welcome to the land of the living.” Harrison joked, adding to your headache. 

“Haha funny.” You retorted.

“By the way, My mum and dad are staying over tonight and I told them that you offered your room to them so you’ll have to bunk with Tom.” You missed the way Tom’s eyes widened.

“What.” Your eyes widened, comically which made Olivia chuckle. You wouldn’t be able to be that close Tom without revealing your feelings. 

“No arguments.” Harrison spoke up before you had a chance to argue.

“Fine.”

By the time everyone settled down that night, it was pretty late. You dragged your feet to Tom’s room and sighed. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” He said quietly. 

“You don’t have to do that. We’re both adults. There’s no problem.” You regretted as soon as the words left your lips. There was a problem. That problem was that you were so fucking in love with him. “Yes there is.” You mumbled under your breath.

“What was that?” 

“Hm?”

“You said something.”

“Oh nothing.” You hid your red cheeks by turning around. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”

“No it’s fine. Go ahead.”

Showering in record time, you changed and brushed through your hair before opening the door, letting Tom walk past you.

You got into bed trying to fall asleep before he came out and joined you. Your wish went unanswered, as Tom walked out. You heard the dull thump of the towel on the floor before you felt the bed dip from his weight. You laid still not wanting to get near him. 

After a while you looked over at the clock. You sighed when you saw it was 12:35. Guess you’re not getting to sleep anytime soon. Especially not if you're sleeping next to Tom all night. To your surprise he wasn’t asleep either,

“Y/n. Are you still awake?” Your heart beat slightly faster at his sleepy voice. 

“Yeah, Tom.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“Not exactly.”

“Neither.”

“What’s up, Tom? Anything I can help with?”

“Yeah. Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” You could hear him quietly cursing himself, so you rolled onto your side and pressed your lips to his. 

“What was that?”

“Me kissing you.”

“Why?”

“I- Fuck it. I like you. As in I like you like you.”

“I like you like you too.”

“Really.”

“Mhm.” He pressed his lips to yours again. 

The girls were definitely going to hear about this when you got home. 

[tinyboxxtink]

“Sharky” *Part 11*

Oh yeah, this series is going to be THE longest series to date. I’ve still got a decent amount of plot I want to get through. 

Note: Yes, this is “Undiscovered Country” territory. But let me assure you, the ONLY things that this story will have in common with that episode is what Barba actually did, and the verdict. How we get there, that’s gonna be a very different and VERY bumpy ride.

And away we go!

Chapter List  Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10 

Part 12

Tag List:

@wanniiieeee​

@dumauier​

@word-scribbless​

@gibbs274​

@objection-argumentative​

@aprildecker-blog​

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

======

You walked into the small courtroom made for hearings/pleas, your head held high. It wasn’t very full, some of the yahoo’s from the SVU, the kid’s parents you assumed, some reporters who had heard about the “Fallen ADA”. Vultures.

“Your honor my client would like to change his plea,” You walked right up to the judge’s stand without so much as looking over at the State’s side.

“Excuse me?” The judge asked, looking at Rafael who was standing behind you at the desk. “Is this true, Mr. Barba?”

“Yes your honor, I’d also like to change counsel to Miss Y/L/N here,” Barba nodded.

“Objection your honor,” Stone argued, walking up to the judge’s stand. 

“Oh what grounds?” The judge raised an eyebrow.

“Miss Y/L/N and Mr. Barba have been in a relationship, it’s a conflict of interest,” He snarked.

“Your honor, I can assure you 100% that Mr. Barba and I have NEVER been in a ‘relationship’ of any kind, even Detective Benson can attest to that, can’t you?” You glanced back to her.

“It’s true your honor, they’ve never been in a relationship,” Olivia agreed while ignoring Stone’s glare.

“We had ONE very unfortunate sexual experience, if anything we hate each other your honor,” You added with a smirk. You could just feel the glare coming from Rafael into the back of your neck.

“Well, if that’s true then why are you choosing to represent him?” The judge asked suspiciously.

“Because it’s the right thing to do, your honor,” You said earnestly. “I may be an aggressive bitch, but I’m not a monster. Mr. Barba didn’t do anything wrong and--”

“HE KILLED MY SON!!!!”

“Oh shut up, you Pro Life Piss Ant!” You spun around and yelled at the father.

“Mr. Barba, control your counsel,” The judge warned.

“Right,” Barba came up next to you and pulled your arm leading you to the desk.

“As I was saying,” You huffed, throwing daggers with your eyes at the disrupter.  “Mr. Barba did nothing wrong and--” 

“Actually Miss Y/L/N,” The judge interrupted you.

“Can I not finish a sentence?!” You muttered to yourself, Barba nudged you to shut up.

“As far as whether or not he did anything ‘wrong’ is for a jury to decide,”

“Exactly, your honor,” You nodded. “With a TRIAL, which my client would like,”

“He can’t do that! He already admitted to killing my son. He can't take it back!!!” The man was yelling again.

“Sir, I have zero qualms of sitting overnight in a jail cell for beating the absolute SHIT out of you,” You snapped, causing several people to gasp and chatter, the judge banged his gavel. 

“MISS Y/L/N, I will hold you in contempt!”

“He started it!!!”

“Yeah and it looks like I finished it,” You heard him chuckle. You started to make a break for it over to him to make good on your promise,  but Barba grabbed you by the waist.

“Alright I’m ending this madness before it gets out of hand,” The judge sighed. “Court will convene next Friday at 9 am,” He slammed his gavel and the man’s wife quickly hurried the man out of the room before you could duke it out. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Barba hissed at you.

“Me? That prick called you a murderer, Raf--Barba,” You tried to keep it business, no emotion, Keep calm. That was going to be hard with Olivia stomping up to the two of you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” She barked.

“I’m sorry, did you not HEAR that bastard--?” You started a quip but were cut off by the detective.

“He’s the VICTIM!!!” It took a few seconds for it to register, but Olivia quickly realized what she said, looking at a shock and hurt Rafael. “I mean, he’s--” 

“...And then the sky opened up and God said ‘Blessed be, Y/N,” You grinned, causing both of them to look at you in confusion.

“Now what are you on about?” Olivia asked, afraid of the answer. 

“Well Olivia, for the VERY first time, I can say-- you’re not just my enemy anymore, you’re Rafael’s enemy too,” You smirked, using his first name to really rub it in. 

“What? No, I’m not--”

“Really?” You scoffed with a laugh. “Would you like to repeat what you just said? Because I’m sure he is right now, over and over,” You nodded to Rafael who was still standing there with a hurt expression.

“Rafa you know I didn’t mean it like--” She went to put a hand on his shoulder but he moved back from her.

“Yeah, Liv,” He chuckled snidely. “I think you did,”

“And,” You added as you stepped in between  them, protecting Rafael from her. “Regardless of your ‘feelings’,” You used air quotes with a sarcastic tone. “Your department is handling this case, is it not?

“....Maybe…” Olivia mumbled, looking over at Stone who was clearly waiting on her.

“Right,” You nodded. “So please, believe me when I say this” You got up in her face. “If you so much as even explain pleasantries with my client, I’ll have you arrested for trying to tamper with my case,” 

“I...You...Rafa…?”  Oliva stammered.

“Just...go, Olivia. Please,” Barba muttered sadly.

“Okay...I’m so sorry,” Olivia whispered with tears in her eyes as she walked away. You held back the urge to vomit in your mouth right there. You turned to give Barba a triumphant smile, but his pained expression almost looked worse than it had.

“Oh what now, droopy dog?” You crossed your arms.

“Thanks a lot,” He scoffed.

“You know you’re saying the right thing but not in the right tone,”  You raised an eyebrow. “You should be thanking me for sticking up for you!”

“Sticking up for me?” He chuckled dryly. “By making an ass out of yourself? How do you think that makes me look?!”

“Oh come on Barba there were no jurors there--”

“But there were reporters! And what’s it gonna look like when the headline reads ‘Baby Killer’s Lawyer Calls Grieving Father a ‘ProLife PissAnt,’?”

“It doesn’t matter what I say, people don't have to like me, they have to like you!” You argued.

“Bullshit!” He scoffed with a sarcastic laugh. “Bullshit and you KNOW that!”

“Look I am the ONLY one here who knows you did nothing wrong--”

“Maybe I did!” He blurted rather loudly, then hushed his tone. “Maybe I did do something wrong,”

“Oh, uh uh, nope,” You wagged a finger and took him by the arm, into a corner of the courthouse. 

“Look, Ba--Rafael,” You put both of your hands on his face and used his first name in a softer tone. “It doesn’t matter what Liv thinks, or what her labradoodle Stone thinks, it CERTAINLY doesn’t matter what that dad thinks,” You looked into his green eyes. “They can all think you’re the devil, and it wouldn’t matter. But the SECOND you start questioning your own innocence, this whole thing is going to fall apart,” 

“Which is why I just wanted to take a punishment,” He looked down at the floor.

“Punish--for WHAT?!” You exclaimed with a confused look. “For unplugging a machine? Barba if that was illegal we’d ALL be in prison right now,” 

“Look I know you may not care about human life but--” Rafael started but you cut him off. 

“Uh uh. Nope. We’re not getting into this, but that ‘thing’?” You rolled your eyes. “That ‘thing’ was not a human being. And I’m gonna prove it,” 

“How are you--”

“Spoilers, darling,” You smirked.

“Look...whatever ‘technicality’ you’re planning on using in court doesn’t make me feel any less guilty, okay? And you just took away the very LITTLE comforting support I have, so just--”

“Comforting support?!” You laughed sarcastically. “Oh right, because Olivia Benson calling you a murderer must have been SO comforting,”

“Look, Y/N. She’s still my friend. She would hold me and hug me and tell me it was okay, even if she did have a momentary lapse,”

“Oh that is SUCH--” You scoffed angrily. You grabbed his hand and stormed off towards the other end of the courthouse with him lagging behind you.

“What the hell?” He muttered, trying to keep up with you. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Well I am not about to do this with all those reporters just waiting for a juicy story,” You rolled your eyes as you spotted your destination. A sign read RESTROOMS-- It was a long dark corridor to the actual restrooms, and first up was a huge “room” labelled “FAMILY BATHROOM.”

“Get in,” You instructed him as you gave him a shove. You looked around to make sure no one had followed you and no one had seen you as you locked the door and turned to see a very confused Rafael.

Finally, when you were absolutely sure that you were safe from any sort of prying eyes, you dropped your act. Tears stung your eyes as you practically jumped into Rafael’s arms and kissed him, HARD. Caught off guard he stumbled for a moment, but then wrapped his arms around you so tight you could barely breathe; but you didn’t care. This was the first time you had kissed him, or any guy really, with actual feelings behind it. Real, true, deep feelings for each other. And it was blissful, just for that brief moment.

After several moments of you just standing there in his arms and crying into his shoulders, you pulled back and hit him on the chest. 

“How could you be so STUPID?!”

“I’m sorry, what is happening here Mrs. Hyde?” Rafael asked.

“How could you let that bitch manipulate you to do her dirty work?” 

“Wha--” Rafael’s eyes darted from you to the door to the distance, trying to figure out what was going on. “I’m sorry, were you trying to comfort me or punish me?”

“I don’t want you to go to prison for something someone ELSE should have done!” You started crying again. Rafael’s eyes softened as he realized your rage was masking your fear and sadness. 

“Carino, I…” He put a hand to your face. “I’m sorry,”

“You don’t have to be sorry about it, that’s my point,” You rolled your eyes with a sniffle.

“I mean, I’m sorry for everything else,” He looked into your eyes with sincerity. “I mean, I can’t believe after everything I’ve done to you, or that we’ve done to each other, that you still came down here and want to fight for me!” 

“Yeah well….” You looked at the floor with a small smile. “I guess I do have a heart,”

“And it’s mine,” He took your face by the chin to look back up at him.

“Excuse me?” You half laughed.

“Say it,” He smiled.

“Ok fine I lo---no, you know what? No,” You shook your head.

“No?”

“No, I think I have told you how I felt MORE than enough since we’ve known each other, you haven’t said anything!” You threw your hands up.

“Wha-- I saved you from suffocating in that alleyway!” He argued. “I broke up with Liv for you, I-I-I BEGGED you to stay with me! On my KNEES,” He scoffed with a laugh. “You ever hear the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words?” 

“Yeah no that saying is bullshit,” you shook your head.. “Words are louder than words. And if I’m going to hear those words for the first time I want to hear them from you,”

“Wait…” he blinked. “For the first time? EVER?” 

“Oh God...here we go,” You scoffed, breaking from his embrace.

“Here we go, what?” 

“I can just see the look in your eyes,”

“And what look is that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Like you’ve just solved a riddle,” You shook your head with a small sad smile. “Like now you’re thinking ‘oh THAT’S why she is the way she is! Because nobody loved her as a kid!’,”

“No that’s not--”

“It totally is! You’re probably so relieved that’s there an actual reason that I’m so broken inside, that I wasn’t just BORN evil,”

“Hey,” This time he took your head in his hands. “You are not evil and you are NOT broken,” 

“Yeah, I am,” You muttered softly as you looked at the floor again.

“Well then I will make it my mission to put you back together, Sharky,” He moved your face back up and kissed you gently. Your soul lit up at the sound of your previously resentful nickname. Now it sounded like the highest compliment coming out of his mouth so playfully.

“Yeah well first I have to fix this,”  You gestured back towards the courthouse. 

“Well, I’m sorry about that too,” He apologized sadly.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Rafael! You didn’t--”

“Look, baby I get that you don’t think so, and maybe technically it’s true, but I still feel guilty,” He shrugged.

“I just…” You sighed and pulled him back into your body. “I don’t want to watch you hurt like this,” 

Rafael had no idea what to say to that kind expression, so he just pulled back into him and kissed your forehead. You let him hold you for just a moment, and then started to unlock the door. But something inside made you pause, and you let go of the door handle to face Rafael.

“...What is it, Sharky?”

“Look, Rafa,” You told him seriously. “We need to establish boundaries, right here and now,” 

“Boundaries?” He asked.

“Distinction,” you clarified. “This girl,” You gestured to yourself. “This girl right here in this bathroom, is ‘Sharky’,” 

“Which is why I just said that,” He joked.

“Yeah but,” You put a hand on his chest. “When we walk out of here, I’ll be just the shark defending you,”

“Meaning…?”

“Meaning,” You took a deep breath. “You’re not going to like what I do in court, I already know that,”

“Y/N come on don’t lie for me--”

“I’m not going to lie,” You assured him. “But I am going to be aggressive with facts, and probably mock all emotion involved in it,”

“...I already don’t like this,” He had a worried look on his face.

“Yeah, baby I know but…” You took his hands in yours. “Do you want to be NICE, or do you want to go HOME, and not to prison?”

“Home, I suppose,” He mumbled sadly.

“Exactly,” you kissed his cheek. “Look the parents brought this on themselves, if they can’t deal with the shame that’s not on me, or you,” 

“What? Y/N you’re not going to go after the--” He tried to argue with you, but you put a finger to his lips. 

“No, I’M not going to do anything,” You reminded him. “But the shark will do anything to keep you from going to prison,” You pulled him into one last passionate kiss, knowing it would have to last you for a bit. You unlocked the door and turned to him one last time and added:

“By any means necessary,” Before sauntering out the door.

This trial should be fun….