#omg dude the idea that they have sets for everything because they are so tied together???? I NEED TO BE PUT DOWN IM ILL

[bookwyrminspiration]

hi hello hey

so.

i finally started shattered upside down! its been on my to read list for a while, but i havent had time to read unfortunately. yknow, school, theater, etc etc etc

HOWEVER

i think im in love with this fic. like. holy shit dude. its so good??? i just finished chapter six and i am SCREAMING. (id leave a comment per chapter but its set to show the entire work automatically bc normally i dont have enough internet to click next chapter)

the way each of their wings correspond to them. sophie being a bumblebee. marella being a dragon. keefe being torn between angel and demon. (just a side note, is this a reference to the shadowflux and light in book 8?) fitz being a bird of prey.

and then the side effects that came with all of this. sophie being drawn to act more impulsively, and the way that you can see her starting to 'buzz' around more, both physically and mentally. marella being fiery. linh seemingly gaining more power with her ability (although you could argue that she was powerful enough, considering the books.)

im just.

words, yknow?

i'll probably be back when im just. in complete and utter shock as i go.

thank you for writing this

its beautiful <3

Hi hello hey! This ask just brightened my whole entire afternoon I don't even know how to articulate how much I love this. I was baking and couldn't read the whole ask when I saw it in my notes but I was grinning like an idiot like omg! There's a wings au ask in my inbox!

This entire ask is so sweet and I appreciate it so much--I had to look at what specifically happened in chapter six since everything blurs for me but that definitely seems scream-worthy! The chapters continue to end on cliffhangers (of varying intensities) throughout the entire au, so I suppose you've got a lot of potential screams ahead as well!

And yes!! I tried to make sure all the wings correlated to the some aspect of each of the characters, so I'm thrilled that it's well received! I struggled with Sophie's the most because capturing a main character can be difficult, but I'm pleased with where I ended up. As for Keefe, the shadowflux reference wasn't intentional but I absolutely love that interpretation!

His wings also gave me trouble because the original idea was angel and demon (it's literally written as that in my notebook), but I realized the way I was writing the au that would imply that angels and demons existed in this world, and that wasn't something I was going for. So I tried to keep that essence, that duality while making it still fit within the world, which I tied in to a thing in later chapters.

The side effects were a whole other thing as well! I wanted to expand outside the wings to show that it wasn't just this growth, but was instead this new intrinsic part of them that you couldn't tell where it started and ended. You can understand where Sophie's wings start and end, but you can't find an endpoint for her new buzzing nature.

As for Linh, I wasn't necessarily trying to give her more power as you're right, she's already very powerful in the books, but I wanted to explore perhaps other ways to utilize her ability! I can't give a great example because I don't remember the specifics of the first chapter, but that was generally what i had in mind when writing :)

Thank you so much for this because I absolutely love to talk about the au and hear what people think about it, so I hope you enjoy however much of it you read! Take as much time as you want, as the au isn't going anywhere and it's definitely a time-consuming read, but I appreciate hearing your thoughts!!

Thank you for reading!!

[hookahmancer]

Coldsteel: Hot and Cold Part 3

Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles are playing Mario Party as Amy gets salty saying everyone is targeting her because she's a girl. Sonic is winning and mutters "it's not cause you're A girl, it's cause you're low hanging fruit."

"What are you calling me ugly? Like I'm some rotted apple?"

A familiar crass voice says behind her "he's saying your weak"

Everyone looks and it's Shadow with his arms crossed exacerbated at their activities. Sonic jumps "What are YOU doing here Shadow? You come to fight?!"

"Unlike you, I don't waste my time with low skilled welps. You wouldn't be ready for a REAL danger with all this leisure activity."

Knuckles tells him to chill out and that he should play. Maybe pick Boo the ghost since he's all dark and brooding.

"I just came here to warn you about Coldsteel. He's up to something, I just don't know what." Sonic sits back down and grabs his controller.

"Oh is that all? That guy is even less of a threat than Eggmud..."

Tails interjects while playing still that Coldsteel is a cunning and ruthless guy, and his heart of gold only makes him more of a threat because he has passion and a motive behind his actions making him a superior villain. Sonic just mutters "are you still on that fanboy crap?"

Knuckles coughs and waves his hand. "Shadow put out that minty cigar or whatever you're smoking! It reaks! Shadow?"

Shadow isn't there and the smoke gets thicker where no-one can see what's in front of them. A hedgehog like figure emerges and grabs Amy who screams as the others realize they can't move or speak.

Unbeknownst to the others, her captor is Coldsteel. Who in her paralyzed state he ties to a chair.

"Nothing person-el kiddo. The paralysis should wear off soon... I just didn't want those losers getting in my way."

"What's this all about Coldsteel? Sonic is gonna destroy you when he finds me! Even a DNA test wouldn't be able to recognize you!"

"Oh wow it's already wearing off, that was fast..."

"That's right. I'm A strong, independent woman with an even stronger immune system!"

"Well, this ain't A controlled substance girly... I'll keep ya paralyzed as long as I have too to get what I want."

Amy blushes but pretends to oppose

"Wha...what?! Are you going to have your way with me?! But I'm Sonic's girl! I will scream until your ears bleed as you...ravage me like some sorta primitive Neanderthal!"

"...what?"

"I know a petite, sophisticated, WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE girl like me must be irresistible to your savage instincts but when Sonic finds out you won't be going to normal bad guy jail. You'll be going to hardcore bad guy jail where like, subreddit mods go!"

"Nothing person-el kid, but no. I'm just gonna keep you here until the Stockholm syndrome kicks in."

"Oh...so I'm not good enough for you is that it?! You think I'm ugly too?! Well look at you, Barney the dinosaur looking ass mother fucker!"

Coldsteel has an annoyed bored look on his face and inhales his vape, breathing it over Amy's face to paralyze her again.

Meanwhile when the others come too Sonic goes running around looking for Amy before Knuckles and Tails can even say anything. Knuckles and Tails get in Tail's airplane to scout the skies for Sonic and see the blue blur heading toward Dr. Eggman's lair who is bossing around his robots to adjust this giant golden statue of him while he drinks lemonade and says "no no, over there! Stupid robots..." Sonic tackles Eggman and starts wailing on Eggman.

"Where is she?!" "What are you blathering about hedgehog?!" Sonic continues to pummel Eggman as Tails and Knuckles yell at Sonic to stop from afar. As Tails lands, Knuckles jumps out and pulls Sonic off of a crying and battered Eggman.

"Stop going Christian Bale on him Sonic, we know this had to be Coldsteel's doing!"

"Don't you think I know that?! But Eggturd here is the one pulling the strings!"

A tear of pain rolls down Eggman's swollen black eye as he turns to his side whimpering and pees himself.

"I somehow doubt that..."

As this goes on. Coldsteel is just sitting there glaring at Amy. Amy can talk again and snide remarks "you know... Kidnapping is a pretty serious crime! Those real super villains are just gonna love your Lilac color tone!"

"Well good thing you're not a kid huh?"

"I...you call everyone a...SONIIIIICCCCC"

He gets up furiously "What do you see in that dumb ass anyway?! I'm way cooler than he is!"

"Is that what this is about? Jealously?" "Kinda"

"People like Sonic because he's a kind, caring hedgehog who shows mercy even to those who don't deserve it."

Sonic is punching Eggman again "I know you did it! I know you did it!" Tails crying like the Simpson's meme "stop STOP! HE'S ALREADY DEAD!!!"

"He's also smart. He's like a Sherlock Holmes who can get to the bottom of an unsolvable mystery and have the answers to everything!"

Sonic puts down Eggman and says "Shadow!" Knuckles just mutters "Why would Shadow have warned us about Coldsteel if it was him?"

"And most of all he is selfless! He puts others before his own well being, especially his friends!"

Sonic shrugs and says "Enh, I never liked Amy much anyway..."

Amy glares into Coldsteel's eyes

"YOU are a petty little man who bullies everyone to get your way! You have no friends, and you suck as a villain! You're like..."

"What? Like Eggman?"

"Like Kevin..."

Dramatic music plays and lightning strikes. And Amy whispers

"Nothing person-el kid..." Coldsteel slaps her hard enough where she falls over still tied to the chair.

"Harder daddy!"

"What the fuck is wrong with this girl?"

The heroes are back home playing Mario Party without Amy and Tails sighs.

"It's not the same without Amy..." Sonic bored too responds

"You're right Tails. We need that fourth player... Your thumbs still work right Egghead?"

Sonic poking Eggman's nose with the controller while Eggman is in a full body cast muffling "I hate that hedgehog..."

Coldsteel sets Amy back up and she's still sassing

"Why do you even like me?!"

"I'm asking myself the same question..."

"You don't even know my name!"

"Yeah I do! It's, uhh..."

"You don't even know my name..."

"Sure I do! It's... Daisy?"

"No."

"Annie. Little Annie!" Coldsteel starts singing it's a hard knock life.

"I hate you."

The protagonists still playing and they just lay Eggman's controller on his chest, Knuckles says "maybe we should try harder to find Amy..."

Sonic tapping ferociously "She's fine..."

Coldsteel is in a scary clown mask revving up a chainsaw to her face "LOVE ME YA STUPID CUNT!"

"Learn my name ya stupid garbage person!"

Tails eating some chips "Amy could be in real danger..."

They're boxing and Amy knocks Coldsteel down in one blow reinacting Mohammad Ali's fight "WHAT'S MY NAME?!"

Knuckles goes to take a sip of soda, but stops before it reaches his lips when Shadow says "are you guys just gonna sit around and let this happen?"

Amy is singing Karaoke of Eminem "HI my name is, huh? My name is, who? My name is dikki dikki..." She puts the Mic up to Coldsteel's mouth

"Uhh... Tammy?" She pokes him in the eye with the Mic.

Shadow scolding these bunch of lollygaggers "Coldsteel is doing God knows what to your friend and you guys are just sitting around playing video games!"

Eggman is screaming under his bandages struggling and Shadow strips the mouth part so he can talk. "You fools do not have the faintest idea how serious this whole situation is! What those two are doing together is worse than any evil scheme I could come up with!"

Knuckles snorts "What? Some kind of fetish fanfic?"

"Worse echidna. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT..."

"Arby. Omg your parents named you Arby's?! I love Arby's! We should get Arby's!"

Amy hits him in the face with her hammer.

"Oh my GOD how can you obsess over me when you won't even learn my name?! You're insufferable! How could anyone stand someone who is an obsessed little worm in a completely one-sided infatuation and tics all the cringe tropes of a gendered stereotype?! I...oh...oh no. I'm everything I hate..."

"Arby's? But the twisty fries..."

"NO NOT ARBY'S YOU MOUTH BREATHER."

Coldsteel's hiding place rumbles as Eggman's grounder robot drills from the bottom and Eggman, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles jump out.

"Oh cool. Grindr! I remember you from the old animated..."

Eggman yells "Its grounder!"

The grounder robot says "naw naw, he's right... My date is just a block from here. Seeya boss." Grounder digs back down.

Sonic goes up to Amy "it's ok now Amy...you're safe."

"Don't touch me!" "What's gotten into you?!"

Eggman mutters "Coldsteel probably..." Tails, Knuckle, and Coldsteel do the black guys rap battle meme

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TFdvfrWS7XQ

"What's gotten into me?! I have wasted too many nights pining over an ungrateful, selfish, egotistical toxic masculine man whom barely even notices I exist!"

"Why are we here again? Oh hey Amy..."

Coldsteel walks up and puts his arm around Amy sneering at Sonic

"Heh...nothing person-el kid!"

"And YOU... You are a reminder of why self care and confidence are so important! Did you honestly think if you just kept me here long enough I'd fall in love with you? You still don't know my name! You're like those dudes who send money to egirls but tell your friends you have a girlfriend!"

Eggman yells BETAAAA in the back like Jesse Lee

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VRq4I1a1iVw

"I'm done with all hedgehogs. I don't wanna see any of you ever again. ESPECIALLY you Sonic!"

Amy just walks out. And Sonic says "geez what a bitch"

Coldsteel remarks "I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave..." Knuckles and and Eggman fist bump Coldsteel.

Everyone just decides to go home and Tails walking by Sonic

"So wait...does this mean Coldsteel never had any feelings for me?"

Eggman walks pass Tails "BETAAAA"

[out-of-jams]

The Start of Something New || myg

The third and final installment to Cheers If You Agree!

Summary: “Are you fucking kidding me?” Maybe you were wrong, maybe you really were being set up. In a long winded prank and there was a camera hidden somewhere to capture your embarassment. Had someone been pretending to be him this whole time? 

Someone better call Nev Schulman because you were being motherfucking catfished.”

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings/Genre: Idol!Yoongi. Fan!Reader. Some cursing. Fluff. So much fluff omg. Drabble. 

A/N: Writing this made me uwu omg why am I so soft in the club right now.

All of my works are purely fiction. Everything I write is my intellectual property and therefore belongs to me. ©out-of-jams. Do not copy or repost without permission. 

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The lights inside the coffee shop were dim. So much so, that the first thought that popped into your mind was that it was closed. That you’d been set-up.

Or maybe that was just the nerves kicking in and overriding your common sense. Because you knew that you weren’t being set-up to make a fool of yourself. You had the texts and the phone calls and the snapchat’s to prove it.

The second thought to enter your mind was holy fuck you were really about to do this.

Taking a deep breath to fill your lungs with the surprisingly clean air of downtown Seoul, you opened your eyes to look at your reflection in the shop window. Luckily, the blinds were closed so no one could see as your fingers scrambled to smooth down the stray wisps of hair and fix your already perfect sweater collar. Also, you really needed to figure out how to wipe the nervous expression from your face. Because it wouldn’t be good to meet him for the first time looking like an absolute train wreck.

Him.

Min-fucking-Yoongi. World famous rapper. 1/7 of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

The same man you’d been in contact with everyday for the past month. How had it all happened? Well, Twitter DM’s turned into the exchanging of KakaoTalk IDs, which after a week turned into the first phone call of many. And then, well, there you were: standing outside in the warmth of the setting sun like a statue.

Cars passed by behind you and you watched their morphed reflection as you attempted to get ahold of yourself. After a few moments of deep breaths and meditative breathing, you finally reached out to grasp the handle on the front door and--

It was locked.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Maybe you were wrong, maybe you really were being set up. In a long winded prank and there was a camera hidden somewhere to capture your embarassment. Had someone been pretending to be him this whole time?

Someone better call Nev Schulman because you were being motherfucking catfished.

With lips pursed and eyes narrowed, you started to reach into your purse to pull out your phone to send off a very angrily worded text message when the sound of a door popping open caught your attention. But it wasn’t from the one in front of you, no. It came from the alleyway to your left and your neck twisted at the noise.

A head of dark hair peaked through the small door opening and looked both ways before finally glancing in your direction. You didn’t recognize him, had never seen that man a day in your life. But by the black apron tied around his neck and the shop’s name embezzled across the chest, you figured that he worked in the same coffee shop that you were trying to get into.

The man--boy, perhaps?--looked young. With bangs parted to reveal his forehead and pale pink lips parted as his brown eyes narrowed on you, he stood tall. And you were about ten seconds away from asking why he was staring at you when he leaned even further out of the side door to whisper:

“Are you her?”

Blinking in confusion, your head tilted to the side. “Huh?”

He licked his lips and glanced nervously around him before speaking again, voice hushed. “You know, her. The one.”

Were you about to be propositioned for marriage by a dude you didn’t even know? Oh god, what if he’d been the one to catfish you?

At your uncomprehending stare, he lifted a hand from the void behind the door and gestured inside. “Are you here to meet...’ya know? Him.”

It clicked.

How it had taken so long, you had no idea. But your eyebrows shot into your hair and you really hoped that the two of you were on the same page or else things would get real awkward real fast.

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, fingers tightening around the straps of your purse in aprehension.

The boy seemed to deflate, tension visibly bleeding from his shoulders as he stepped further outside and held the door open for you. And when you failed to move, he waved you forward. “Come on in. He’s waiting for you.”

How very James Bond.

You walked forward slowly, muscles tense just in case that boy was crazy and tried to pull something. But he didn’t even move until it was to follow you inside, the door banging shut behind both of you. Though you were too busy taking in the interior of the coffee shop to notice. It was beautiful. From the brick wall finish, to the pretty overhead lights and the soft music playing, to the gentle warmth that heated the air from a crackling fireplace.

The calm, quiet atmosphere paried with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods was almost enough to calm you.

“Through here.” You almost jumped at the voice coming from behind.

The boy--barista--passed you in the short hallway and gestured for you to follow. And you did, the sound of your shoes tap-tap-tapping on the wood floor syncing with your heartbeat pounding a mealody-less beat in your eardrums. With every step that you took, every empty table that you passed until you followed the boy as he turned left, brought on a fresh wave of nerves.

And when he reached a closed door in the back and stepped to the side to let you pass, you were practically a mess. As if sensing your internal dilemma, the barista smiled gently and stepped away to let you have a moment. “Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.”

You could only nod as you watched him disappear back around the corner. And took a deep breath to steel your nerves. This was it. Once you opened that door there was no turning back. No ignoring the flutter in your stomach whenever his name popped up on your phone screen. No pretending like you weren’t falling for a man that you’d never even met.

The door handle was cool beneath your fingers and you twisted it down and pushed it open before you could second guess yourself. Talk yourself out of it. Somehow force yourself to believe that this wouldn’t turn out well. That you were being stupid, an idiot, a--

A pair of dark, wide catlike eyes peered up at you, pinned you down in the doorway. And a beat of silence passed in which the two of you just stared each other down like you were caught in some kind of k-drama. In which the air stilled, humming as if in a dream. But god, if you were, you really didn’t want to wake up.

Because Min Yoongi sat on a comfortable looking bench tucked into a booth in the corner. The room was small, intimate, made for couples who wanted privacy away from prying eyes. Not that you were a couple! Even though you kind-of-not-so-secretly wished that you were. But you weren’t. You were friends.

Yeah, friends.

Though friends didn’t have their heart jump-started by the way their friend looked adorable-yet-so-freaking-handsome in a white long-sleeved sweater and black pants. Nor did someone have a kaleidoscope of butterflies take flight in their stomach due to a soft smile spreading across their friend’s lips. Didn’t wonder what they may feel like pressed against your own.

Whatever thing stopped time, halted reality for a moment, broke as Min Yoongi slowly stood to greet you. He ran a hand through his dark hair, tongue wetting his lips almost nervously. And gummy smile made an appearance, puffing up his soft cheeks.

“You’re here.” Even his voice was more perfect in person. Deep and soothing with a lazy drawl that drew his words together like calligraphy.

“I’m here.” And frozen apparently. Because you couldn’t seem to pry yourself from the doorway.

Shit, what were you supposed to do in situations like these? Hug him? Give him a handshake? A nod of your head? Why was there not a handbook on how to greet someone you’d bared your soul to virtually, but never in person.

The same conflict seemed to occur to Yoongi, if the flickering of emotion in his eyes was anything to go by. But then he seemed to make a decision and lifted his arms slowly, shyly. “It’s nice to see you. Finally.”

You legs unfroze themselves at his silent invitation and you crossed the room in only a few short steps. And as you stepped into his embrace, and his arms wound around your waist and the comforting scent of Yoongi overtook your senses along with his warmth, your nerves dissolved. The worry, anxiety, thoughts of what-if left your mind the second the gentle fragrance of his shampoo caressed your nose and refused to let you go.

The same way he seemed almost reluctant to do so.

But he did, stepped back to flash you another gummy smile and a feeling of something took root deep in your chest.

“It’s nice to see you too.”

Because it was.

And as Yoongi gestured for you to take a seat and the door opened to reveal the barista, you understood just what that something was.

The start of something new.

[cake-in-a-tin]

welcome to our mayhem

hi! Welcome to my first attempt at a text fic, idk how good it ‘tis, but let me know what you think! (lils-Lily, burgerz-Mary, queen-Marlene, wonderland gurl-Alice, dork-Dorcas)

tHe BaEs

Lils: yo dudes

Burgerz: waddup

Lils: imma add this girl who’s joining tomorrow if that’s ok - we’re old friends from like nursery

Queen: sure, is that dorcas meadowes ?

Queen: I think I’m her tour guide or some shit

Wonderland gurl: sorry I was sleeping

Wonderland gurl: what did I miss

Queen: wHaT dId I mIsS

Queen: hEaDfIrSt InTo A pOlItIcAl AbYsS

Burgerz: i been in paris meeting lotsa different ladayys

Wonderland gurl: I guess I practically missed the late eightaysss

Queen: travelled the whole wiiideee world and came back to this

Lils: pleeeeassse not again....

Lils: mar I thought you were on my side???

Queen: sorryyyyyy

Queen: I couldn’t resist it

Queen: it was perfect!

Wonderland gurl: it was indeed. I set you up fuckin perfectly u are very much welcome biatch

Burgerz: *slow claps in appreciation*

Lils: anyways imma add this girl now, she is dorcas mar and she’s lovely so be nice!

Lils added Dork

Lils: welcome to our mayhem love 

Dork: hii 

Lils: shall we all like introduce ourselves?

Queen: k, I’m first

Queen: hello, I am Marlene McKinnon, and I’m your stupid tour guide thing that Dumbledore thought was a good idea

Burgerz: hi, I’m Mary MacDonald (hence the name) and I’m very bad at maths, which is also my only personality trait

Wonderland gurl: hello there, my name is Alice Fortescue (don’t try and spell it it took me almost seven years of my life) and I have a fucked up sleep schedule tm

Lils: everyone knows me uwu 

Dork: okay, im Dorcas Meadowes, and I’m just a bi disaster haha

Queen: lol mood

Wonderland gurl: oh btw dorcas we are all lgbtq+ soo 

Dork: okay cool 

Queen: ya, I’m gay, lils is pan, mary is aroace and alice is queer

Wonderland gurl: yh I’m figuring it out but ik girls are pretty as well so :)

Dork: can relate lol

Wonderland gurl: I should probably sleep it’s school and I haven’t slept properly in like three fuckin daysss

Queen: gurrrrllllll omg u r gonna dieee tomorrow

Wonderland gurl: ik im scared and it’s only seven thirty but i will sleep like four and a half hours of that because I just watch netflix aaahh

Burgerz: just gooo Ali, otherwise u will regret everything

Wonderland gurl: k byeee bitchez

Lils: bye

Queen: bye love

Burgerz: cheerio

Dork: bye I think?

Lils: we're all a mess, u get used to it dw 

Lils: also Mary can u get anymore stereotypical British omg

Burgerz: I’m sorry babe it’s in my natureeee

Queen: lol

Queen: I ghibhjfyfvbss

Dork: r u ok?

Queen: a frickin moth bro 

Queen: it attacked me and I’m scared because I didn’t see where it went

Lils: I’m rooting for you love

Queen attached a video

Burgerz : omg I’m dyingggg your voicem u sound so scared

Queen: lmao I was scared for my life if I’m being honest 

Dork: ahahahaha I’m laughing out loud and my cat is just looking at me like wtf is wrong with you human

Queen: u have CAT???

Burgerz: you have a cat? I must see him

Queen: lol we are on the same wavelength haha

Burgerz: ✨soulmates✨ Burgerz: but like platonically lol

Dork: here is mouse

Dork attached a photo

Queen: vvffdyujcndh 

Queen: so fuckin adorable

Burgerz: I LOVE him

Lils: I’ve seen him before and I love him, but I don’t think I ever asked - why mouse?

Dork: lmao we just thought it would be ironic

Dork: also he’s never caught a mouse or anything else in his life because he’s too damn lazy

Queen: omg I relate to mouse so much lol

Dork: honestly same 

Lils: dudes we should probs sleep if we want to be beautiful for school

Queen: ugh sleep is so overrated 

Queen: but yeah...

Lils: bye xxx

Burgerz: adios 

Dork: byeee

Queen: see yall tomorrow

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: yo, quick question

Lils: shoot

Queen: what does dorcas look like?

Lils: ummm idk, why?

Queen: eh no reason

Lils: she’s black, short dark brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes

Queen: so cute?

Lils: hell yeh

Queen: oh god save me

Lils: yh u will need prayers

Queen: aaaahh 

Queen: well gn 

Lils: night xxx

tHe BaEs

Wonderland gurl: good morning!

Queen: no it is not

Lils: I’m dyingggg cancel schools pls

Wonderland gurl: I slept fuckin amazingly last night soooo :)))))))

Dork: hjeicnefskd 

Dork: I can’t 

Queen: oop me neither mornings are my least favourite thing ever 

Lils: uggghhhhhh 

Lils: sooo jealous of Mary

Dork: why?

Wonderland gurl: she lives rlly close to school so she wakes uo super late and just walks

Dork: wow luckyyyy

Lils: ikrrrr

Queen: I want to sleep

Wonderland gurl: no! remeber what happened last time you were late?

Queen: oh god don’t remind me

Dork: do I even want to know?

Queen: nkt really lol

Queen: lily u tell it I need to shower

Lils: okayyy

Lils: get ready for a fuckin wild ride babe

Lils: so, we have this teacher called McGonagall and she’s the single most terrifying yet amazing person ever to teach us

Wonderland gurl: and that’s saying something trust me

Lils: she’s pretty chill until u do something that pisses her off. And one thing that pisses her off is people being late. Marlene was late because she couldn’t get her lazy ass out of bed, and she came into form time like ten minutes after the bell rang. as you can imagine, McGonagall was not at all pleased at this, and proceeded to give mar a lecture in front of the whole class and then give her detention for a whole week. Before school.

Wonderland gurl: Marlene looked sooo tired the whole week

Dork: wow, that is ✨brutal✨ Dork: remind me never to be late

Lils: will do x

Wonderland gurl: we have to remind Marlene every once in a while of the ‘‘incident’ to motivate her to get out of bed

Queen: I’m back dudes 

Queen: so you see dorcas that is why I am never ever late anymore because that week was absolute hell I am not going through again.

Queen: ever

Dork: honestly I’m scared to meet this teacher lmao

Wonderland gurl: nah she’s actually soo nice unless you get on her bad side

Burgerz: heyyyy

Lils: maryyyy

Dork: hello!

Burgerz: so, everyone ready for school?

Queen: pretty much, I’m on the train rn

Lils: same, I’m opposite her

Dork: oooh I am also travelling by train I will try to find u guys 

Queen: we are right at the end, if I see you I will scream ‘cheese’ as loud as I can

Lils: noooooo please, can’t embarrassing us in public wait at least a day

Queen: nope

Dork: u don’t even know what I look like lmao

Queen: I will know

Lils attached a video file

Dork: lmao i was terrified

Queen: it worked though 

Wonderland gurl: I’m so glad I get the bus and don’t have to endure this

Burgerz: wow. How are you not embarrassed Marlene?

Queen: idk, I guess I don’t care what oriole think lol

Dork: rEsPeCt

Dork: also please never again

Private message: Lils + Dork

Dork: LILY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME MARLENE WAS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL IM DYING 

Lils: lmao sorry

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: oh god u were right she’s so hot helppppp

Lils: I’m praying 4 u

hii! I hope that you liked this mess, I’m probably going to continue it, so yeah, let me know what you think?

[lizzienaut]

All 31 tword questions! 😊

ALRIGHTY THEN BUCKLE UP GAMERS LETS DO THIS

this is gonna be super duper frickin long so im gonna put it under a read more as per usual i hope it works ahhh-

thank you for the ask anon!! <33

1. do you personally identify as a lee, ler or switch? what about tickling makes you feel one or the other?

switch all the way baybeyyyyy!!! not even leaning one way or another, just straight-up pure switch energy exudes from my pores something about the power exchange really gets me giddy man having a lee all helpless beneath you and all adorably giggly and blushy and whiny makes me just 💕💖❤💗💘💝💓💞 and in return being the one who gets teased and chased and pinned down and absolutely wrecked is just!! ahhhHHHhhh

2. have you ever been tickled irl? was it by accident or on purpose?

oh dude bro i used to be tickled all the time by people specifically one of my irl friends who i told about this thing last year this mans straight up pinned me down and tickled me for six hours straight while we watched youtube when i spent the night at his place it wasn't like!! super rough or anything- very light and playful most of the time, but occasionally it got intense and i  fucking died dude i was so happy now i don't really wanna be tickled by anyone other than iven though ahaaaaa- i mean i've been like that for a while but pshHhHh

3. would you prefer punishment or reward tickles?

yes

4. what kind of teasing gets to you most/what kind of teasing is your favorite to dish out?

i LOVE verbal teases so much sosososo much omg “tickle tickle tickle” or “kitchy kitchy coo” or “im gonna tickle you!” all of it makes me melt and die literally just saying tickle repeatedly makes me all squeaky and squirmy and lee in an instant frickin i cant take what i dish out bro ;v;

5. what does it take to make you flustered about tickling?

everything how helpless being tickled makes me feel and how EMBARRASSING it is that i like it so much more than any other people normally do dkfjgnkdfj

6. are you easily able to admit you like it?

when im ler?? absolutely i fuckin love tickling when im lee is a different story

7. have you ever told someone outside of this community about tickling?

yes!! quite a few people actually- most of them arent even my friends anymore BUT one of my current friends knows about it and yeah!

8. what’s your favorite thing about being tickled/tickling someone?

power exchange the cute giggles the blushy face the feeling of helplessness  etc

9. what’s your laugh like?

ive been told that its very childish and bubbly and loud, but it can rlly easily become cackly and witchy sounding and embarrassing dfkjgkdfj i SNORT A LOT MUCH TO MY DISMAY

10. favorite spot to be tickled/to tickle?

all of them

11. lees, would you prefer to be tied up or free in a session? lers, would you prefer a lee tied up or free in a session?

in a session? tied up!! but just for fun id say free <33

12. if you could be tickled by/tickle anyone (real or a fictional character!) who would you chose?

iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iv

13. wake up or before bed tickles?

yes

14. do you like being teased? do you like dishing out teasing?

YES

15. who’s someone in this community that you would love to meet or get to know better?

id love to get to know so many people better!! literally all of my mutuals omfg @ all my mutuals pls message me id love to be friends w yall <33

16. do you have any uncommon spots/have you ever discovered any on someone else? where was it?

my palms are SO ticklish its not even funny wtf ive never been full on tickled there but every time someone tries to write things on my palms or run their nails down them i just. squeak as loud as humanly possible jkdfgkdf

17. do you remember how old you were when you first realized you liked tickling?

i think!! i was 8 or so- lil liz discovered tickle videos back then and didn't know what incognito was either

18. how comfortable are you with talking about tickling? why do you feel that way?

irl? no too embarrassing fjdgnfk online? yes please lets talk abt tickles its so FUN

19. what’s your personal worst spot? what’s your favorite “death spot” you’d wreck someone with?

mine are my feet, underarms and neck!! fav to wreck are probably feet dkjfgkdjf

20. are there any spots you personally find underrated? where are they?

NECK for personal reasons >w>

21. what’s one of your personal favorite tickle scenarios?

scary movies and a visit from the tickle monster

22. soft cuddly tickles or rough more intense tickles?

yes

23. are there any tickle scenes you’ve seen that have stuck with you? what were they from?

THE MIRACULOUS LADYBUG ONES CAUSE ALL OF THEM WERE SUPER CUTE AHHH

24. upper or lower body tickles?

yes

25. is there’s a specific position you’d like to be tickled in/tickle someone in? why that position in particular?

tied in an x position on the bed 👀👀👀 because EASY ACCESS TO ALL SPOTS YO

26. do you have any “unpopular opinions” about tickling that you’d like to share?

tickling isn't inherently a kink or sexual :)

27. lees, do you enjoy being tickled on your worst spot(s)? lers, how do you go about tickling a lees worst spot(s)?

YES tease them with gentle touches, then dive in when they least expect it B)

28. is it difficult for you to be put in a lee/ler/switch mood? what can make you feel that way?

absolutely not iven can easily put me in either moods just by being cute or even slightly teasy ;w;

29. do you ever have tickle dreams? do you remember any that you’ve had if so?

yes i have tickle dreams quite often actually!! he last one that ive had kinda really stuck with me-- iven and i were on separate islands and id often sneak onto his to steal his supplies and one day he set up a trap and tied me up with vines n shit and just. absolutely wrecked me maN i snuck onto it quite a few more times after that pff

30. are you a fan of the idea of tools? which ones would you be up to trying if you are?

YES YES YES ALL OF THEM ALL ALL ALL good SHIT DUDE

31. AND FINALLY. do you believe in the tickle monster? what do you think they look like/appear as?

me.

i am the tickle monster

[chambergambit]

ww84 thoughts

in no particular order, under a cut bc spoilers.

dispite being a wonder woman movie, diana felt side-lined. it seemed like the central conflict was maxwell lord’s, not diana’s. yes, she has a wish that she needs to renounce to save the day, but it’s not the emotional core of the story. the emotional core is max and his son.

steve possessing some random guy was weird, as was all the face change stuff. why couldn’t he have just... appeared? in his own body and clothes? it’s magic, right? why does it matter?

i felt like the armor should have been more central to the story. i would have liked to see diana discovering it.

so... diana loses the watch at some point, right? because in the first one batman sends it to her? or does he just send the picture idk i don’t remember.

diana figuring out how to fly was a very pretty scene.

would’ve liked to see more of steve reacting to the 80s. tvs, computers, etc. all the times he did react to stuff was cute.

so does everyone like... remember this global incident afterwards? are people ever like “remember that time in the 80s when this dude took over all the tvs and granted wishes but then we were on the brink of total nuclear annihilation so we had to renounce our wishes and then everything was fine?”

was there a 12 year old bruce wayne wishing for his parents to come back to life who then had to renounce his wish?

did diana actually go to college or does she just get by on her amazon knowledge?

loved the picture of diana with old lady etta. i hope she lived a long and happy life.

loved the scene of steve trying out 80′s fashion, and diana introducing him to the future. it was kinda a reverse of the first movie with steve introducing diana to the world of men.

are people ever like “ooh i like ya accent where you from” and diana has to be like “uh, far, far away” or do people assume she’s isreali bc that’s the accent gal gadot speaks with? actually, idk if the average american can pick out an iseali accent so idk.

was the president supposed to be regan? in the credits he’s just called “potus”.

i think setting superhero movies in the past is a good idea in general. you can choose an asthetic without your movie eventually becoming dated.

i have mixed feelings about kristen wiig’s performance. idk, maybe deep down i expected her to be funny? like when you get an snl alum you kinda expect funny.

her showing up to the white house in a studded leather jacket and thigh-hi books was kinda hilarious actually.

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT LYNDA CARTER OMG THAT WAS GREAT

the opening sequence gave me the impression that diana “proving herself” was gonna be a bigger theme. i guess it ties in with wanting something really bad but you can’t have it? like lil diana wanted to win the race and older diana wanted to keep steve... but you have to EARN wins, you don’t really earn a boyfriend.

it just occurred to me that max’s storyline is a lot like jafar wishing to be a genie.

what happened to the invisible jet? i assume they used it to fly back from eqypt but like... what did they do with it? did they put it back? did diana lift the spell? or did they just... leave it somewhere and hope for the best?

steve’s “WELL SHIT DIANA!” was great.

they should’ve made the guy steve possessed another famous white dude named chris.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i am SO delighted to hear that the "detective and five people trapped on an elevator and one of them is the devil" movie is real and you saw it. also while trying to send this i accidentally clicked the Unfollow button (and then promptly refollowed), sorry about that

lmao i maybe wouldn’t’ve noticed, love Tumblr Notifications and how like, they display different on desktop vs mobile and the way it Condenses them is only so helpful cuz sometimes some of them only display for 0.2 seconds while i’m on mobile and it hasn’t Refreshed in a way that reshuffles everything and i can’t view that particular [Like from a certain person or smthing] ever again lmao like i hate this, it’s bad, just like that movie about people trapped on an elevator and a detective has to get them out and has to act fast b/c one of them is the devil

it is so stupid first of all like. it’s just overall not a great movie from Any of the angles it’s playing like. first of all the Detective is only around b/c he’s solving a nearby murder / death and making like. corny dumb “oh this is a Smart guy” observations about the Scene and someone is like “oh hey @ cops you’re already on the premises, come solve the mystery of Elevator Broke” like i don’t think that’s how it works and also i can’t even remember the reason they find this issue That pressing pre-realizing And One Of Them Is The Devil. maybe someone dies right off, idk. there is conflict on the elevator so naturally that’s a whole other thing like, we’re all trapped in this elevator together and maybe one of us is untrustworthy and liable to be dangerous to the rest of us like, i don’t know the Contrivance that makes these people think anything has to be done but just Stand Around for a while but it’s you know. that whole Thing where there’s a premise of “some shit is happening to Incite Conflict amongst strangers who are trapped in a bad situation together and they’re all apparently raring to judge each other’s moral fiber to decide who deserves Suspicion vs Protection.” but also, one of them is the devil

meanwhile on the outside it’s this dumb Cop Mystery Drama where this rando guy apparently sets aside the death he was investigating earlier to solve this elevator situation (i think eventually it’s revealed that that death was tied to the elevator situation all along. i think that the devil killed the guy. or something) and also, maybe there was Coincidentally some kind of heist going on at this place b/c i remember at some point the detective (and some partner there too involved in all this) like, find some tools hidden in a bathroom like “aha this was Used to do [whatever]” and despite having no idea what the details are i Know i remember this b/c of at the time going “oh my god that is so dumb Nobody Would Do This / this makes no sense” lol like. writing not great. and this was maybe Not the devil, but a regular separate scheme to. do something

also there’s some aspect where Main Cop has some tragic backstory and is like, not over it b/c it was so painful. i think maybe someone like hit and run his wife or something like that. you know how it goes. spoilers in that i think the person that the devil is here to kill (more on this devil assassination thing....) was Behind That somehow lmfao so it’s like really??? is that our resolution, that people’s stories are Converging in a very serendipitous way b/c the devil would like to give people emotional catharsis......idek. look, spoilers, this old lady who “dies” in the elevator relatively early on turns out to have been The One Of Them Who Is The Devil, Act Fast. and it was this weird thing where the devil is like “grr whoever i’m even here to Get in the first place is just Such A Bad Person that uhhh i guess i came here in person to take them to hell” like.....what tf kind of Lore......this is definitely going with “aaaah the devil is evil” approach, not any more kind of Neutral figure, but then in the end apparently the evil devil is just really Judgey and Disgusted by someone being A Bad Person like??? you ought to love this shit!!!!! and anyways the detective learns that One Of Them is The Devil b/c when they take him up to the security camera display hq it’s like a) look at this scary Moment where the elevator camera feed gets staticky and a scary face appears for a moment (im not sure if i could see what it was supposed to be lmfao) This Means Something and okay oh my god i reread the plot summary b/c for the life of me i couldnt remember the ending, it is so stupid oh my god

okay so first of all the Dead Person the detective was investigating had left like a suicide note like “i am killing myself b/c um. the devil approacheth” like wow okay right off the bat? amazing foreshadowing. why does this person Know this?? and why should he care b/c the devil is here apparently for a Special Soul Collection like, this has nothing to do with you, random guy?? you don’t even need to worry like. just stay home from work to avoid the fairly minor problems that occur (like MAYBE one guy dies in the course of this story but i think it’s a little ambiguous, meanwhile whoever Really Dies in th elevator was i think due to like, suspicion and infighting lmao. idk maybe the devil killed a few of them. it’s weird) but yeah the highlight is this

everyone please enjoy this scene. security guy ramirez is explaining the Devil Expertise courtesy of Where I Come From where toast falling jelly side down is evidence that the devil is hanging out in the elevator. 

while looking up “devil toast” the result immediately after that one was “the devil takes the toast” which is a devil takes the hindmost ytp which i feel is really fitting

it kind of undercuts the stakes i think when not only is the devil only sorta gently radiating Bad Luck but also is just super Righteous but like. yes it turns out that the devil is here to Claim a guy on the elevator was the same dude who Hit N Run the detective’s family (wife and kid apparently) those years prior......except like, it wasn’t even like oh he assassinated them On Purpose, it’s apparently already a Known Detail that although they ~never knew~ who killed detective joe’s family (idk what his name is idc) there was a Note left on the scene like “sowwy :(” like really? this is the Big Bad that the devil made a special corporeal visit for??????? and then, get this, when the devil is like “i’m not a dead old lady, i’m the devil, and i’m here to Get you b/c you accidentally killed a couple of people and i, the devil, am really disgusted by how sinful you are for that” the guy is like “yes that was me :’( i’m sorry” and then the devil is like “ah fuck you’ve Repented. i can’t take you to hell anymore. bye” like what!!! why did he only have to feel bad about it to get out of this whole situation when obviously he Felt Bad in the first place b/c he up and left a note like “[grimace emoji] aaa my bad” like, did he have to apologize To The Devil?? the lore i s2g. Jelly Toast Rules operating here i guess. 

anyways then the detective who witnessed this i guess is like “wow the guy who killed my family all those years ago but i’m still sad about it.....well i’m gonna arrest him now. but also, I Forgive Him.” oh and also for a while there the detective was so gritty he didn’t believe in The Devil b/c the vehicular manslaughter apparently made him think that human nature was evil enough to not need the extra help. so now he’s made the arc of getting uh, emotional closure on his family’s death by forgiving the dude who i guess super crashed into them on accident, And gets to know that the devil is real actually and he’s on the elevator but now Not b/c he was like “ah jeez thwarted by this guy uh, feeling bad about the accidental deaths even though he felt bad in the first place” and there was no other point to the detective being there b/c he didn’t Really do shit except i guess drive this sideplot where you are led to believe he Might figure out who the Bad Guy on the elevator is. (it is the devil. one guy has a crime record or something but, spoilers, he is trying to turn his life around with some good honest work as a security guard or something. idk)

it was amazing and very stupid and i was continually indignant b/c the writing was dumb and made no sense and just so fucking corny throughout. the entire movie is called “devil” and i remember it was like “tf is ‘devil’” and as soon as it involved an Elevator i was like omg omg is this And He Has To Act Fast Because One Of Them Is The Devil, and it was, so that was exciting. it was a dumb waste of time but also it was not b/c it was *slightly* so bad it’s good. mostly Not Even. but just watch the toast scene there b/c like. i think that’s this movie’s #1 contribution outside that post about the plot summary. 

[ohtheseboysilove]

You set me on fire AU [Firefighter!Ben Hardy x F!Reader] I

Words : 2, 200 K +

Warnings : none just drooling over our Benny boy

Summary : You always had a thing for men in uniform. And when the hottest fireman cross your path, you can’t think about anything else. (+18!!!)

Note :  I just hit 600 followers (omg!!!) so to thank you all, I’m releasing my first chapter of my new Ben!fic where he is a hot fireman. So, I know very well Ben isn’t just a body and all but in this fic Reader gonna drool a lot over that, worshiping his beautiful body because she is a thirsty little thing. Anyway, I had the idea around two weeks ago when I saw a hot fireman in my street, blond with green eyes...yeah Ben popped in my mind for the role :))) Also there gonna be smut in most of the chapters (not this one!!) so if you have any kinks or anything smutty related you want to read about you’re more than welcome to pop in my inbox and send me ideas honey babies !!! I want to try to diversify the steamy part so everything is welcome ( clothes, toys, place, position...whatever float your boat) . This chapter is rather slow but smut is coming in the next chapter ;) 

🌼Requests are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“The firemen are here ma’am, their big red truck just arrived in front of the building” The repairer announced as you rolled your eyes, annoyed.

“Great, I only been stuck in this fucking lift for nearly two hours” You tried to stay polite but the repairer couldn’t fix the lift and had to call the 1-1-2 to get you out of it and right now, you were supposed to be in a date with a delicious Italian guy you met few weeks ago. “Why don’t I have any internet in here ?” You groaned as you stupidly raised your hands with your phone in it, trying to send a text to Angelo to explain him the situation but you were clearly out of luck today.

This day had been horrible, you had wake up half an hour late, running to catch a bloody expensive cab to be in time to this shitty internship, where you were doing nothing else than bring coffee and lunch to asshole white dudes. They did their usual sexist comments, always adding it’s a joke sweetheart! and you would laugh with them because you wanted to keep your job. Then your boss kept you later than you were supposed to, making you finish his work because it was friday and, of course, he had stuffs to do outside the office. Bollocks. You were running late to your date but, thankfully, you had your clothes and make-up special date with you, knowing how your friday night always ended later than usual. You had quickly dolled up yourself, little skirt and a cute top showing just the right amount of neckline. You were fucking hot, wearing your favourite pair of matching panties and bra with the hope to finish the night at Angelo’s place. And then the lift decided to stop right after you entered it, crashing your entire evening. You were fuming.

“You’re alright in here, ma’am ?” A muffled voice came from above the lift, probably one of the firemen coming to get out of here. Fucking finally.

“I’m alright” You replied with a sigh. “Just missing a date with a hot Italian guy but I guess my little vibro will do the work too” You mumbled in a lower tone, frustration dripping from your voice.

“Well, I’m sorry for you hot date, ma’am, I’m going to get out of here now” You jumped at his raspy, amused voice escaping from the top of the elevator, your cheeks flushing with redness as you quickly understood that the man heard you talk about your freaking sex-toy.

Then from the trapdoor, the hottest guy you ever saw, climbed down into the lift, attached to a rope, a safety harness around his waist. He was hot but not just medium hot, jesus no, more like, really hot. Like a movie star or something. Blond, messy hairs, just long enough to have something to grab in bed. Emerald eyes with long eyelashes, giving him a deep, magnetising gaze. And the smile, oh god. Pink, scandalously plump lips curling into a toothy grin, which in total honestly, made you wet. He also had a strong jaw, perfectly defined, masculine and matching his broad shoulders, begging to grip on it as you ride him ferociously. God, you were maybe more horny and frustrated than you thought. His white tee-shirt was tight enough to let you see how well-define he was, extremely well. His biceps were rounds and impressively big and his arms were the same, muscular and veinous, making you bit your lips absent-mindedly. His hands were veinous too, seeming strong and perfect to choke. You slapped yourself mentally to not think about what you could do with his long, thick fingers because you would absolutely jump on his bones right now. And the uniform, it was only the cherry on the cake. You were so weak for men in uniform, military, policemen, firemen...and when you were looking at him, you knew why. He was completely fulfilling your deepest sexual fantasy, skin-tight top, broad muscles, black pants – hugging his ass so perfectly – and these damn red suspenders, which could only look good on a limited number of people.

“You’re okay ma’am ?” You blinked furiously and glanced at his eyes, cheeks burning as you had completely lost yourself in checking him. “You...whined. You sure everything alright ?” He furrowed his brows in worry and detached from his belt another security harness.

You didn’t whine, it was more like a strangle moan. God, how being so unfairly hot was authorised ? Even his voice was arousing, deep, husky with a thick british accent and now you were definitively soaked.

“Hum, yeah, I’m just a bit dizzy” You replied after clearing your voice. “Been stuck here for two hours” You added with an awkward giggle. (Y/N), get your shit together!

“Gonne do a little check-up when we are outside, hum ?” You nodded too eagerly for the simple question but damn, playing doctor with this hot firefighter made you clenched your tights together. “Put your legs in this for me, please” The blond was half-bowed, the security harness in his hands, ready for you to pull on.

You innocently grabbed his shoulder to stabilise yourself as you slid both of your feet into the harness, tingling shaking your fingers at the contact with his warmth clothed skin. His back was as strong as you imagined and you were containing yourself to not run your hands all over his body. Then he came closer to you, attaching the harness around your waist, fingers barely touching your hips but enough to make you shivered at the gesture, this man was devilishly too handsome for your own good. You were tied with him for security reasons, obviously and you couldn’t but noticed how deliciously his scent was, a touch of sweat but very...manly, like you needed more reason to jump on him.

“Alright, I’m gonna lifted you and I want you to wrap your legs around my waist and arms around my shoulders. And please, don’t move okay ? Can you do that for me ?” He asked with a professional but yet sweet tone, his hands resting soberly on your hips.

“I can do that” And so much more.

“Perfect, let’s get you out of here” He smiled softly and lifted you of the ground, his callous hands grabbing your knees in the more respectively way possible to not make you uncomfortable. “My mates up there, gonna lifted us to the next level”

You immediately wrapped your legs around him, swallowing back a moan at the friction with your – way too short skirt for this kind of exercise – against his thick work pants, your hands clutching firmly on his shoulders, making your knuckles turned white. This day wasn’t that horrible in the end. You gasped surprisingly when you both started moving, going up slowly as one of his hand were on the rope and the other one was stabilising you, arm wrapped around your back. The lift felt like forever, your core painfully throbbing at your flustered state. His collarbone was right in front of your eyes and you wanted nothing more than nibbling at them until his skin bruised.

“Everything alright ? You’re a bit tense, are you afraid of heights ?” He lowered his head to meet your eyes, cute dimples showing on his cheeks. Could this man be more physically perfect ?

“A little, yes” You murmured the lie as you made your prettiest doe-eyes, feeling yourself melt under this beautiful bright gaze. “We’re not going to fall, are we ?” You asked with a low giggle, heart skipping a beat when his he chuckled gently, twitching his mouth in a pretty smile.

“No worry, darling, the rope is secure. And I got you, we’re almost there” He tightened his embrace around you and you did the same, totally taking advantage of the situation to snuggle further against his strong body. “And here we are, safe ground” His colleagues helped the both of you to reach the floor and the blond detached the both of you, taking your harness off.

“All good Jones ?” Your saviour nodded and threw to the man the two harnesses, earning a groan from him.

“Just gonna check-up the lady, feeling a bit dizzy” He said as he followed you in the stairs with the other firemen.

“Mmm, you know we have a paramedic for that, Jones” You kept walking pretending to not hear them as they started teasing him. “Josh can take care of your lady, you’re still in training”

“I can do it, thanks man” The blond rolled his eyes and put a hand on the middle of your back, walking you to the red truck, smiling gently at you. “This way”

“Look at our lover boy, he is big boy now !” Few wolf-whistles echoed behind you, making both you and his cheeks turned crimson. “You got that, pretty boy !” They chuckled and started put back the materials into the truck, glancing few times in your direction with amused smiles. Maybe your lovestruck gaze on him wasn’t as discrete as you thought.

“You can sit there” You climbed on the back of the truck, legs hanging off the ground as he searched something in a big black bag. “I’m sorry for their comments and..attitude. I’m the newbie in the fire station so they love to give me a hard time” He chuckled gently, crouching at your level, a little flash-light in his right hand.

“That’s alright, no biggies” You replied as you shook your head. “They seems rather fun to be around”

“They are annoying as shit but yeah, they’re fine chaps” The blond grabbed softly your chin to stop you from moving your head and examined your eyes, moving slowly the flash-light. “I’m gonna check your blood pressure, just, ya know, to be sure” You were sure he just winked at you, giving a kick at the nest of butterflies in your stomach.

“Oi Jones ! We don’t have all evening, did ya catch her number or what ?” The blond bit his lips at the yelling of his colleagues, running an embarrassed hand in his wild locks.  

“They certainly love to tease you” You said with a little laugh, not wanting to him to feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah, they adore that. Especially when I’m around a pretty girl” You heart missed a beat at his word as his hands wrapped the tensiometer around your upper arm, his gaze looking cheekily at you, testing the water.

“You think I’m pretty ?” You flirted with a bold toothy smile.

“I think you’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning” He immediately flirted back, leaving your gaze only to check on the your blood pressure.

“Oh yeah ? I’m flattered Mr Jones. You’re not bad either, not at all” He took off the tensiometer and threw it in the bag, giving you a bright smile that even more ruined your panties.

“You’re all good to go ma’am” He said in teasing murmur, the tension between the two of you was suffocating as you both leered at each other, not trying to be careful anymore. “Or...I have something else in mind, if you’re not busy”

“What are you thinking of ?” One of his big hand gently fell on your knee, squeezing it slightly as you were chewing your bottom lip, wishing he would take you, right here, right now.

“Well, my shift end in a little hour and I thought, we could have a drink in this new pub in Soho for–“

“(Y/N) ! God, are you okay ?” You and the blond jolted away, breaking the moment as you saw your hot date walking faster toward you. “I was so worried for you when you didn’t show up !” Angelo hugged you tightly as you stood up awkwardly. Usually you were happy when a hot guy wrapped his arms around you but right now he was running the best thing that could happen today.

“Angelo...how– how did you know I was still here ?” You asked uncomfortably. The blond was scratching his neck, glancing subtly at the Italian.

“I went at your place and you wasn’t here so I checked at your office and then I saw you and the fireman truck, I was so worried !” He pressed a kiss on your lips, several times and you cursed internally. God, you weren’t even together, just few kisses there and there, just starting to get to know each other. “What happened ?”

“I was stuck in the elevator” You explained with a whining voice as you saw the blond closed the back of the truck, giving you a little awkward smile and walking to his colleagues. Slipping between your fingers.

“Are you okay now ?” His hands were cradling your cheeks, checking if you were alright.

“Good, just tired” You mumbled at the truck started and drove away, and with it, your hot fireman. “I’m gonna head home actually”

“Want me to come over ? I can cook you something or–“

“That’s nice but I just want to bed, I see you later” You pressed a smile on his cheek and walked to your flat, irritated and frustrated.

**

That night ended like you had think it would, you and your cute little vibro, moaning on the top of your covers. The toy rubbing and vibrating against your throbbing clit but instead of picturing Angelo during your steamy time, your hot fireman was the only thing that was in your mind. His broad shoulders, these big and callous but still soft hands, these thick fingers...You were a bit bitter that you  didn’t have a name to scream when you came in a last pressure on your wet center.

You wanted nothing more to see him again. 

**

Tag list : @caborhapch​ @jennyggggrrr

[seven-oomen]

I’m sorry you’re still feeling exhausted.  I hope work wasn’t too terrible today, and that the weekend lets you rest up a bit (if you get normal weekends.  working in retail I try not to assume.)  Also, this is likely to just be a short(-ish) collection of unconnected musings, but I felt like sharing them anyway, and really you should be used to that from me at this point.  XD  So, first off that tree painting is GORGEOUS.  I mean, I tend to be kinda partial to that whole tree silhouette type aesthetic, so I’m probably slightly biased.  But still.  (And the background shading… <3 )  Also, ngl, the backlit keyboard keeps making me think of that video of Henry Cavill assembling his new computer that’s making the rounds.  That is not meant as a complaint of any sort, mind you, merely an observation.

Speaking of hot scruffy dudes who are actually massive dorks, did you SEE Ian’s most recent Insta pic?!  (the non-cowboy hat one)  Omg, I don’t know why he keeps complaining about how it’s starting to look like TW Season One hair like it’s some sort of bad thing.  (The longer the hair, the better the grip you can get. […uh…wait, what?… ’>.> ])  That pic just screams OUAT sequel to me.  Out here looking all shaggy and windblown and peaceful and content.  Proud Alpha Dad Peter spending quality time with his family/pack.  How very dare he spring this on an unsuspecting public with no warning?  I was not prepared.  (Also, Sinqua and Holland commenting on it just ups the adorable factor that much more.)

Also, was looking at a few sites lately in consideration of ordering a few more masks for work, found this print on one of them and almost laughed myself absolutely stupid.  I don’t know why it was just so funny to me, but I hope it cheers you as much as it did me.  Btw, it’s available on an impressive variety of items, including two types of notebooks, t-shirts, mugs, blankets, pillows, beach towels, shower curtains, rugs, bath mats, several styles of bags, phone cases, and assorted types of wall art (sadly not on a mask, however.  I was deeply disappointed.)  I can see any number of items ending up in the Haleargentski household, bought by assorted non-wolf members for assorted wolf members, because they are a family of assholes.  (I feel like the first gift was a travel mug to Peter from his darling husbands, then a t-shirt [on black ofc] from Peter to Derek, and then it just all snowballed from there.)

Today’s literally-just-appeared-out-of-nowhere-wtf-brain thought is (much like the French maid thing) definitely of the nsfw variety, so consider yourself duly warned if you have a shift today.  Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."  And I was just like "not sure what this has to do with this video of how to make a ukelele out of colored pencils, but continue."  But like, no really.  Peter being knotted in one of them while the other uses beads or a (vibrating) plug on him?  (Which one is the asshole who momentarily turns the vibration up high enough that they BOTH can feel it?)  Or using those, or some kind of prostate massager, while he’s tied up and watching them with each other?  Bonus points in that situation for anything remote controlled.  See just how good his control really is.  Equal opportunity toy usage is what I’m saying, basically.

Also had a thought inspired by a pregnant friend and her fiance raving about a local pizza place’s monthly special, which is a pickle pizza (no really).  I may or may not have asked her if she had it with ice cream (I totally did, but apparently she’s past that point.)  So I was wondering about any weird or specific cravings the boys have while pregnant.  I remember Chris having a thing about chocolate pudding in the flashbacks.  Was it only a certain type of pudding, or would any kind do?  Were there any others he had?  Did he have the same ones with Ben or different?  What about Noah?  What sort of cravings did he get, if any?  And did they vary between sets of twins?  Did anybody go the aforementioned pickles and ice cream route?  Anybody dipping fries in Nutella?  Onion straws in peanut butter?  Doritos in cottage cheese?  Anybody eat salsa straight out of the jar?  Did anybody get any sudden absolute need for a specific fast food at two in the morning?  Or suddenly want a type of snack food only carried at one truck stop halfway past the next town?  Anybody spend several days eating nothing but veggie trays, including ones they normally can’t stand?  Anybody develop a temporary aversion to certain things, like coffee (feels like it would be a terrible thing for either of them)?  Did Peter cater to their every whim in any and all of these situations?  (I already know that answer.)  Did either one ever get demanding about it, or did they go the more passively-wistful-won’t-stop-mentioning-it route?  Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Uh…I think that was the last of the random swirling questions/musings/headcanons for now…  I hope you feel a bit better today, and that the time off (I think you mentioned some time off?) is helpful.  Enjoy your time with your friend (that was this weekend, right?).  If you’ve got ideas for writing stuff, but are having trouble getting them down, would making quick notes/reminders, or voice recordings, for later help?  Like, so you don’t worry about losing them, but aren’t forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel up for at the time?  Either way, congrats on keeping up with the journaling (and the pretty, pretty art), and I hope tracking everything proves helpful.  And remember, other people’s bullshit issues and hang-ups are in no way your fault (no matter what they try to tell you), and you deserve all the good things.  Take care!  *Hugs to both of you!* 

Yeah, honestly I think I hit that point in my life again where my battery is drained and I can’t restart it. Which is how I got my burn out at first and working towards another one. Heh but I also don’t want to give up now and just keep working for a little longer because my contract expires at the end of September and yeah.. 

Stress.

Aww gosh thank you, yeah I really like how that one turned out! It was better than expected.

Btw if you’re into Zombie apocalypse stories (I am) you should definitely check out The girl with all the gifts. It’s so brutal but also interesting, I definitely enjoyed that. (And it was research for my own book)

Lol I love this keyboard and this laptop, really, it was the most expensive thing I ever bought but it’s so worth it. Still runs super smooth after 2 years. I don’t think I’ve seen that video of Henry though. 

And omg yes I did and it’s the best thing. he looks so SOFT omg. I def got  OUAT S2 vibes from that. And OUAT vibes. Also that pic of him with Colton, omg. Those were the best!

THAT PRINT!!!! I nearly snorted coffee out of my nose this morning but managed to swallow it down just in time. My work computer would have suffered caffeine damage otherwise XD.

But yeah, that becomes a running gag for sure!

Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."

*cheff’s kiss* 

Yes.

Oh the images are so good. Remind me to write them out in detail tomorrow after the zoo trip.

Also parking the pregnancy cravings to answer tomorrow since it’s past midnight and I should catch some sleep before I need to be up again. But I will definitely type that HC out.

Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Ohhh Debbie’s toast. Because yes, Noah’s magic is that much stronger when it’s fueled by pregnancy hormones and Chris turns into a very protective hormonal fighting machine. Low center of gravity has advantages when you’re in a squabble with the Karens.

And yeah, I have four days off right now. Which means I don’t have to work until Thursday again. Which is awesome!

But yeah work wasn’t too bad, I had to do one bad news conversation which fucking sucked since there was nothing I could do and nobody I could get a hold off to fix the problem for that customer and it was just a waiting game. I hate those conversations. I honestly do.

Most of it was quiet though and I got to leave an hour earlier due to the quiet day. So that was good. And I watched a movie while being paid (The girl with all the gifts) so that was pretty fun too XD

I actually voice record a lot already. I find it really helps with clearing my mind and I write a lot of stuff down. But I appreciate the tip!

Lots of cuddles from me and Mo and I hope your day went by well. <3

[sassycassieshipsimaginesprefs]

First Date with Prompto Argentum Would Include...

Gladio | Ignis | Noctis

Listen, who asked who out for the first time?

You’re still not sure

Prompto tried---bless him---but got so awkward that you eventually had to stop him and complete his thought

“Hey... do you, uh... I mean... would you like to... I don’t know... I just... do you think it would be fun if... oh man...”

“Prompto. Are you trying to say, ‘Do you wanna go on a date?’”

“... Yes.”

“Of course!”

When people ask (*cough*Noctis*cough*) you say you asked at the same time

Prompto was a little late picking you up just because he accidentally arrived twenty minutes early and then killed time making sure everything on his camera was perfect and by then almost chickened out and stood at your door for three minutes without knocking because he was so nervous

Thank the Six no one was around to judge him for just standing there like an idiot

He almost had a heart attack when you opened the door after he finally knocked---your smile filling up his heart and thoughts and oh wow you look amazing and what do I even SAY?!

“... Hey.”

Hey? HEY?! Prompto you idiot!

But you laugh. “Hi! Are you ready?”

He laughs nervously. “Absolutely!”

He offers you his arm, looking a bit stiff and awkward about it because clearly he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he’s trying

As you take his arm and you two start to head out, you can’t help but smile

You have no idea where his reputation as a “puckish playboy” came from

This guy is a precious cinnamon roll who barely meets your eyes because he’s trying hard to be polite

Someone protect this awkward, adorable boy. Please

He’s only had a crush on you since forever

Not that you know that

He takes you to a festival happening in Insomnia

It’s kinda like a fair or a carnival, tbh

He loosens up when you get there because he reminds himself that he’s with you so there’s no reason to really be nervous

Prompto takes pictures of you with everything

Cotton candy, softly blurred-out string lights, standing under the one dude on stilts, in the Hall of Mirrors, your hair blowing behind you on a ride---just everything

Even in one of those photo booths because he thought it was funny---so you have a long strip of four photos of him taking your picture while you laugh

He also wins all the shooter games and gives you the prizes so you have a little pack of plushies tied to your bag before the night is over

Sends you on the Ferris wheel alone the first time so he can get some aesthetic shots of you at the top from the ground first, then joins you the second time

Takes pictures of your candid smile at the top---then pecks your cheek when the Ferris wheel goes around again

Immediately turns bright red and internally curses his impulsivity

You run into his friends there---Gladio low-key winning the thing where he swings the hammer and sends the thing up to ring the bell---and Prompto gets frustrated, telling them that he is “on a date, thank you very much! No spying!”

But you don’t notice them for the rest of the night? So? You’re not sure? That they even are spying?

They are

Prompto notices because he knows what to look for

He just doesn’t tell you

He’s still reeling from kissing you on top of the Ferris wheel and low-key beating himself up about it

But it’s the end of the night

And you’re going on one last ride

As the roller coaster clicks its way up the first, largest hill, Prompto is internally freaking out about the best way to end a date protect him omg

As the ride crests the hill, you cup his face in both of your hands and kiss him

His scream as the ride hurtles down the hill is more from excitement that you kissed him than exhilaration from the ride

Though it’s kinda both too

He walks you home and holds your hand---and you’re pretty sure you’ve never seen him like this before

High-key on Cloud Nine

It’s adorable

At your door, he’s awkward and nervous again because OMG what do I do now?

“So... I, uh... had a great time tonight...” he tries

Nailed it

“Me too! Thank you!”

This is it, Prompto! This is your chance! he thinks to himself.

“Would you... like to do this again, sometime?”

Not bad.

“Yeah. Yeah I’d like that!”

BooYah!

Impulsively, his leans forward and kisses you. “Then it’s settled!”

“Yes it is. I’m looking forward to it. Goodnight, Prompto. And thank you again.”

When you go inside, you peek out the window at him doing a happy dance away from your place. You can’t help but giggle. What a dork

He’s your dork though

And you really did have a great time

Later, you’re definitely gonna have to pester him to show you the pictures he took

Low-key he’s already making a video set to music showing all of them off but ssshhh it’s a surprise!

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 11 - Candy Page 12

==>

Alright, looks like Jake and Jane had an active night and now Jake’s going to distance himself again.

Yeah you’re pretty afraid of closing this distance with Jane.  You REALLY don’t want it, do you?

JANE: Lighten up Jake! The election’s off! The economy is stable! Dirk is probably never going to talk to us ever again! And we just... we finally fucked. Hoo hoo hoo!

Okay seeing that “Hoo hoo hoo!” at the end of the sentence makes it really fucking uncomfortable somehow.

Something catches the corner of his eye, and he swivels his head around to see the Trickster Lollipop on his bedside table.

JANE I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO BE SUCH A SCUMBAG THIS TIME AROUND WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO????

far more sets of underwear than the number of people accounted for in the room.

Yeah that sounds about like what might happen with the lollipop thrown in.

Okay at least it was Jake’s idea??? that makes it... ALMOST... better... but not really..??

Oh God, and Jake just does the pushover thing and rolls with it only because he thinks he SHOULD, not because he wants to.  Fuck.

==>

Mhmm.  There’s always a thick sense that “what would Bro tell me to do” was thick in everything Dave did hanging over him like a shadow.  Interesting that here it manifests as that Meta voice he was using in Meat or whatever.

Is Dirk even going to be there, or has he fled entirely?

Gamzee, what the fuck are you doing.  Forceful character arc intervention?  Is that what you did with Roxy somehow?

...is Gamzee toying with the narrative now that Dirk has fled or something??

...okay there’s some author worship going on or some such?

Dave how do you even know who Pagliacci is.

Okay there’s the Rose bot, and an ominous note.  Suicide note? Self-Decapitation note, again?  Hm.

==>

Epilogue Three

Okay, that’s some startlingly abrupt pathmaking toward suicide.  I was warned that there was a vivid description of the leadup to suicide in Candy somewhere, so I’ll try to talk only lightly about it as I read.

Your legs feel impressively powerful as you begin to climb the staircase

Nice Meat callback at least.

A flip of the cosmic coin has rendered your entire life completely inessential. What could you accomplish in a dead-end existence like this? There are no stakes. No meaningful challenges. No structures or themes—only residual chemical reactions in a dying brain, a physical system’s obligate compulsion to exhaust its own lingering momentum. A cockroach with its head cut off, waiting to die of thirst.

Wow, yeah, you REALLY can’t stand living in a world where you don’t hold some sort of Light-y relevance, can you?  So much so that you were willing to steal Light away from the story entirely just to have more to carry with you in the flipside.  Is this supposed to sort of embody the comeuppance you didn’t get in the other half, the way you’re offing yourself here?  Weird.

Your friends might derive some sense of fulfillment from satisfying the elementary obligations of self-preservation and self-propagation, but there’s nothing here for you. It doesn’t matter anymore.

HOW ABOUT LIVING HAPPY LIVES AND NOT GETTING STUCK IN COMAS YOU ASSHOLE

Seriously, that whole Meat part, the... the four things I really couldn’t stand being left with were Jane’s fate, Jade’s situation, ROSE’s unenviable situation, and Dirk being allowed to escape without consequence.  Three of my favorite characters left on doomed paths or basically IN COMAS, constantly having their agency quashed by others or forced away from anything that could have corrected their disastrous path (Jane’s) by Dirk’s meddling.  A line being drawn in the sand that clearly stated CANON ENDS HERE, before any of them could wake up or stop FUCKING SUFFERING.  Jesus Christ.  I just wanted some loose ends tied up by this epilogue, I didn’t need the characters’ POSSIBLE HAPPINESS to be left unresolved with a likely “NO” as the answer??!???  THEY DIDN’T COME ALL THIS WAY AND SACRIFICE AND WIN FOR JUST THAT!  DIRK STOLE THE FUCKING ULTIMATE REWARD FROM THEM OUT OF NOWHERE!

*breathes*

FUCK.  So, yeah, on to seeing Dirk either die or get stopped by Dave somehow because he still needs him or whatever.

Ew, self-decapitation indeed.  You narcissistic fuck.

When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just.

Huh.  So that influences the way the clock judges you, hm?

==>

A damn funeral, huh.

He looks at Roxy, who is staring at the floor, rather beside herself in grief.

Oh thank goodness, a glimpse at her line to Gamz had me thinking she was in weird happy-stuck Candy mode still, that would have fucked this scene a bunch.

...IS Dave really more eloquent than you, though?

Dave’s long speech--

Oh my gosh I just realized during this speech how UTTERLY FUCKED of Andrew people must have thought this Dirk suicide section was if they chose Candy FIRST.  Jesus dick.

End of speech.  Jane, stop being so remarkably fucking composed.  Unless Dirk’s plans and machinations really hurt you as much as you let on when you expressed seemingly-mock excitement that you’d “never hear from him again”.

Fuck you Gamzee.

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

Thanks for coming to your senses Roxy, better late than never I guess.

Dave dips down so that their noses are bumping. Karkat’s eyes are so wide it’s amazing they don’t pop out. For a moment, it looks like they’re going to...

John sneezes.

Oh COME ON, John.  :(

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

Me after reading the Meat epilogue.

Huh, offering to undo the death.  That IS potentially a little bit insensitive, as obvious and necessary a question it is to ask, even if the answer is no.

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

Exactly.

A courtesy that Dirk, funny enough, wouldn’t have given anyone else.  The fucking prick.

--Yep, they’re too far outside of canon for his retcon powers to work anymore.  Rose told him on the last day he could.

Roxy what the hell are you doing.

ROXY: we should get hitched

No, you should ANSWER WHY YOU LEFT CALLIOPE HANGING and THEN decide LIKE ADULTS to do whatever you all feel like doing.  This isn’t legitimate if you’re HIDING most of the situation in Voidy shadow!  If you really DO want this, then do it properly and HONESTLY!!!!

JOHN: you... JOHN: LOVE me?? ROXY: yea john i love you ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um. JOHN: that’s a LOT.

Yeah, this isn’t how it should go.  WOULD go.  Something’s seriously wrong with Roxy right now and I hope John figures out how to bring them to the forefront so they can come to an honest decision.

Just a few weeks ago, Roxy was happy with Calliope, and now she wants to have his babies? John feels like he’s missing something important here, like he went for a bathroom break during the part of the movie where the plot twist happens.

Exactly.  And you haven’t even had time to process how you feel about HER again.  If something’s off, make it NOT off before you say yes.

Roxy practically attacks John’s mouth, she’s so excited. John shuts his eyes and kisses her back, still giddy and laughing against her lips. She kisses him until they’re both breathless, then pulls back so that she can gaze at him with glittering eyes.

ROXY: omg ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

Yyyyeah, THAT was ominous.  Someone’s definitely fucking with this situation behind the scenes.  ...Maybe Roxy’s been hitting the Lollipop too when the camera’s away from her?

==>

Dammit, we skipped to the wedding without resolving ANY of their fucking issues first.  This is bad.

--oh my god we skipped to months PAST the wedding too.

JOHN: jane and jake are kinda, um, together now. TEREZI: OH GOD JOHN: and she basically ordered jake to catch the bouquet “or else.” JOHN: i was seriously afraid for him. and then he didn’t even catch it!

Jane.  Jane, come the fuck on.

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jane doesn’t end up terrible????  D:

JOHN: yeah. they’re all dating. JOHN: or rather... jade is dating them both. JOHN: dave and karkat haven’t... exactly figured things out yet. JOHN: and as much as i love jade, i don’t actually think she’s helped matters by putting herself in the middle of it. TEREZI: HMM >:[ TEREZI: SOM3HOW TH4T DO3SNT S33M R1GHT JOHN: i know.

Jade, you can’t force these things!!!

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jade doesn’t end up unhappy???? D:

JOHN: now i have to pretend to laugh and think it’s funny when she makes jokes about being the next to “tie the knot.” TEREZI: WOW D1D SH3 R34LLY GO FOR TH4T DOUBL3 3NT3NDR3 JOHN: what? TEREZI: WH4T JOHN: what do you mean? TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND

Jegus Christ.  Terezi, WHY did you have to go there.  I’ve seen enough nsfw RP to know exactly the fuckery you’re alluding to with Jade, NO.

JOHN: things’ll probably work out with those three anyway. things always work out between old friends. JOHN: we’ve all known each other for too long for anything to cause a permanent rift.

Fucking allusions to the Meat section...  D:

...okay, babies time.  There are babies.  Or at least one Roxy pregnancy and that earlier Vriskgrub.

TEREZI: 1T JUST S33MS... K1ND4 F4ST

YES, YES IT DOES.

TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY H34RD 4BOUT HOW J4N3 1S D4T1NG BOTH J4K3 *4ND* G4MZ33 4ND UNFORTUN4T3LY 1 DO B3L13V3 1T

What the FUCK is going on.  Who’s manipulating everyone.  Gamzee maybe??

TEREZI: H4H4H4 1 HOP3 YOU H4V3NT S33N TH3 P1CTUR3 D4V3 TOOK JOHN: dave has a picture?! JOHN: wait, never mind. i don’t want to know, and i definitely don’t want to see it.

Yeah that’s a cursed image if I ever heard of one

JOHN: so, what did you think, talking to dave and karkat? JOHN: did they seem... happy? TEREZI: NOP3 JOHN: oh my god, i KNOW, right? JOHN: the whole thing is such a mess, it’s hard to be in the same room with them these days. JOHN: i don’t even know the full story because dave won’t talk to me about it anymore, and jade seems to think that everything’s going just fine.

Dammit Jade, you forced your way in too early!!!  D:

And why can’t Andrew at least PRETEND to give us a slight, fishing-line-thin possibility that Jade might POSSIBLY have any sort of chance at an endgame workable romance with ANY OF HER GOSH DARN FRIENDS AT ALL???????

>:(

I just want Jade to be happy okay jegus

TEREZI: 4 TRU3 K1SM3S1S 1S JUST 4S MUCH YOUR L1F3 P4RTN3R 4S YOUR M4T3SPR1T 1S

Interesting quadrant talk

TEREZI: TH3 PO1NT OF 4 K1SM3S1S 1S NOT JUST TO M4K3 YOU 4NNOY3D OR 3V3N 4NGRY TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD PUSH YOU TO B3TT3R YOURS3LF TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD SH1N3 4 L1GHT ON TH1NGS 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU WOULD OTH3RW1S3 1GNOR3 OR D3NY

EXACTLY.  I’ve been saying that about good black relationships for years.  And Jade’s plowing in and fucking things up without really making things ANY better AT ALL for anyone but herself, and only temporarily and in her own head at that.  :(

TEREZI: 1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y

Yeah, really pushing at what happens in Meat and stuff.

I love Terezi’s text-emote faces.

==>

Page 17... Someone told me to watch out for “Candy 18″ without any elaboration or context, so maybe I’ll split the post after this page so I can get to that one fresh? Hm!

My stomach is down to a low anxious simmer, so that’s good compared to before.  Maybe reading this whole Candy thing isn’t going to be so bad.  I can’t believe I’m not even halfway through.

He’s not sure why he feels the need to hide the fact that he’s talking to her.

Dammit, John.

It should be a beautiful image, but something about it roils John’s gut.

???

Is he catching on to some weird manipulation going on behind the scenes with his own metatextual awareness or?

Yep, Harry Anderson, heh.

He was. What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.

YEAH THAT’S A HUGE GODDAMN RED FLAG RIGHT THERE.  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO EVERYONE.

...Oh, huh.  Now John’s having a bit of panic about how everyone suddenly feels like things are completely resolved with Lord English when they aren’t.  And how Rose seems almost HYPNOTIZED into not worrying about it, along with many of the rest of them.

The three gals in the room exchange a series of concerned glances. Do they truly think he’s crazy? Are they hiding something from him? John can feel himself trembling. It’s not possible that he’s remembering this wrong, is it? It can’t be. If he presses his eyes shut, he can still see the lines of the black hole cracking space apart around him. It seemed like such a big deal at the time, and then suddenly it felt like nothing at all. Why?

Are they, though?  Do they know they’re in a split timeline of sorts, or...?

You’re the ones not doing okay, he nearly shouts, but then realizes it’s just going to make him sound crazier than he already looks.

Yeah this is all cracking at the seams.

ROXY: oh of course that makes sense

ROXY YOU’RE NOT THIS BRAINLESS WAKE THE FUCK UP

Hm, looks like John’s not as comfortable on the placid planet as he is with someone giving him SOME sort of broader purpose.  A lot like Dirk, but LESS FUCKED.

JOHN: i’ve got a beautiful wife who loves me, but it’s not enough. i can’t even talk to her about what we’re going to name our stupid kid without it turning into some weird thing where she just goes along with whatever i want. JOHN: even when all i want is for her to want something different than what i want!!!

It’s like Steven stuck in Rose’s Room with that Connie clone, SU-ways.

Alright, clicking the next button and starting page 18 in the next post.

[sage-nebula]

As I mentioned earlier, I finished my Golden Deer playthrough of Fire Emblem: Three Houses today, and I have some complaints. Since the complaints are spoiler-heavy, I’m going to go ahead and put them under a cut.

My biggest complaint is something I’ve seen a lot of people talking about, but that I had hoped was an exaggeration, and that it’s that the Golden Deer route (and presumably the Blue Lions route) is so much longer than the Black Eagles route. (For those who don’t follow me, the Black Eagles Strike Force (a.k.a. Crimson Flower) route was my first playthrough.) This on its own wouldn’t be a problem, except the length feels somewhat artificial. Rather than needing more chapters to defeat the Empire and close what the story that Claude and Byleth had started from the beginning, the additional chapters are tacked on by way of a letter from Hubert telling Claude about Those Who Slither in the Dark, and then Zombie Nemesis rising from his grave and needing to be fought. And setting aside the utter ridiculousness of Zombie Nemesis and his Zombie Ten Heroes (as well as that Tron-looking city Those Who Slither in the Dark supposedly built with what I can only assume is the same technology that gave them actual missiles, none of fits with the otherwise medieval setting and is pretty ???), all I can say is . . . excuse me?

That should have been part of Edelgard’s story.

Like you have no idea how indignant I am about this. It’s not that I’m upset that Edelgard’s story was shorter (though yes, it would have been nice to have the same amount of chapters for her story as well). It’s that I’m upset that Those Who Slither in the Dark were directly combated in Claude’s story, when Claude had fuck all to do with them. The only tie he has to them is through Lysithea, who waited 5+ years to tell him or Byleth about what was done to her, and even then, Claude understandably treats it as a tidbit of interesting information, without a whole lot to go on from there. Claude doesn’t have any personal ties to Those Who Slither, he has no reason to care about them outside of, “oh, they might try to kill people maybe.” And even then, that only really pertains to Fodlan itself; Claude’s story was all about opening borders and letting other nations in, and almost doing away with the concept of individual countries altogether. Claude’s goals aren’t directly in line with Those Who Slither; he has no reason to know of them at all. The fact that he only found out about them because of an extremely tacked on post-mortem note from Hubert highlights that all the more.

But Edelgard does. These are the people who experimented on her as a child. These are the people who tortured her ten siblings to death right in front of her. These are the people her uncle is aligned with, the people who used her father, the people who she feels she has no choice but to work with, the people who murdered her love interest’s father, and so on and so forth. Those Who Slither are a prominent and present force in Edelgard’s route from the jump. And she makes it clear, time and again, that working with them makes her trauma rush to the forefront every time she has to see one of them and that she plans to take them all out once Fodlan is taken care of, which means that it would make the most sense for the army to move on to Shambhalla as soon as Rhea is taken care of on the Black Eagles route, rather than having that reduced to an epilogue.

But that doesn’t happen. Instead, we get a footnote saying that they took care of Those Who Slither in the epilogue, while it’s the Golden Deer who get to actually do the deed. This, despite the fact that the narrative had to twist itself into a pretzel and do something completely implausible to get that knowledge into Claude’s hands (because that note was out of character for Hubert for multiple reasons I won’t bother to get into now). Why this is the case, I don’t know. Part of me wonders if it was a time constraint, but this game had already been delayed once before, and in any case, that doesn’t explain why they didn’t put time into including Those Who Slither into the Black Eagles route to begin with, rather than putting them into Golden Deer first and then tacking on an epilogue note in the Golden Deer route. I’m hoping that perhaps the DLC chapters that have been promised will include a continuation of the Black Eagles route that lets you deal with Those Who Slither on that route, but at the same time it’ll be pretty terrible if we have to pay to get the resolution to that route that should have been included from the get-go.

All of that said, the lack of sense of not dealing with Those Who Slither on Edelgard’s route despite the fact that she was the one with the most reason to go after them isn’t even my only reason for being mad about it. I’m also mad about it because it would have been good for Edelgard to learn that while she was not wrong about Rhea needing to be taken down, she was wrong about what kind of person Nemesis was. I’m not taking everything Rhea said about Nemesis and the creation of the Heroes’ Relics in the Golden Deer route at face value, because Rhea lies a lot and can’t really be trusted. But it’s clear that Zombie Nemesis was not at all a good dude. At the end of the Black Eagles route, Edelgard still believes that Nemesis had his story warped by the Church of Seiros entirely and truly was a King of Liberation. If she was confronted with Zombie Nemesis, who only wanted to destroy and murder with impunity, she would have realized that no one on either side was completely trustworthy, that there were wrongs on both sides, that Nemesis wasn’t actually a hero and neither were the other Heroes that the Church and nobility pretended were great all along (the latter of which she would have no problem with since she wanted to dismantle the nobility anyway). It would have been additional great development for her, but she never got it because the story was cut short. (And before anyone argues, “But Byleth couldn’t take on Nemesis without the Sword of the Creator, which she can’t use anymore after killing Rhea because the Crest Stone vanished from her heart,” remember that the entire point of taking down Rhea was that humanity could stand on their own and did not need deities---or the power of deities---leading them around like puppets or tools to be used. Byleth taking on Nemesis without the goddess’ power and winning anyway because she has Edelgard’s support would have fit with the theme of the entire route and would have been a far more fitting end, not the least of which because it would have shown Nemesis that his murder of Sothis and her children to gain more power was completely pointless.)

So anyway, as you can tell, I really hate how Those Who Slither were taken out “in person,” so to speak, on the Golden Deer route rather than the Black Eagles route. It made absolutely no sense and leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. That aside, I really hate how pro-Church and pro-Rhea Byleth was forced to be in this route (as discussed here), and I also really hated how Edelgard’s death scene was handled in this route, too.

Setting aside the fact that it feels kind of forced that the three House Leaders can’t come to work together post-timeskip (at least in the case of Edelgard and Claude; Claude refuses to join the Black Eagle Strike Force if spared for vaguely defined reasons, and while I get that Edelgard is stubborn, she herself says that she knows that her goals are very similar to Claude’s, so like ??? her refusal to team up was very forced), I really, really dislike how angry they made Byleth look during the animated cutscene where Edelgard dies. Don’t get me wrong, Edelgard’s speech was completely heartbreaking, and it’s clear to me that she has feelings for Byleth on that route as well. The fact that she’s pushing Byleth to kill her, not in an angry way, but in a “do this, it’s what’s best for you” kind of way just absolutely ruins me. But Byleth is glaring at her through it all, especially at the end, and to kill her before she’s even finished speaking? What the fuck, honestly. I know I’m biased as an Edeleth shipper, but my feelings do come through as I’m playing a silent protagonist, but they didn’t in this case. I didn’t agree with Byleth’s expression or emotion there one bit, just as I didn’t agree with all the “OMG MUST SAVE RHEA” that I was forced to pretend I wanted to say leading up to that. I think the writing there was sloppily handled, and that the player’s actual feelings toward the characters wasn’t well accounted for at all. (This isn’t even mentioning the fact that I refused to attack Edelgard with Byleth in the first place, and instead attacked her with Claude, so to see Byleth deliver the killing blow anyway . . . god, I really hated it.) 

All in all, considering all of the above and the fact that there are only three students (Claude, Hilda, and Lysithea) in the Golden Deer House that I actually like, and one (Marianne) that I think is okay, while the rest can just go chill in the trash bin for all I care, it’s safe to say I won’t be touching this route again. I’ll dearly miss Claude and Hilda (gonna recruit Lysithea first thing so I won’t have to miss her), but it’ll be worth it not to have to sit through that nonsense again, for real. 

At least the Crimson Flower (Black Eagle Strike Force) route is still almost perfect.

[withallthingslove]

Captain Marvel Spoiler Filled Review

A completely chaotic “review” that is just my random thoughts

spoilers under the cut

- i saw this movie with three of my close friends (one who is a dude and lifelong comic fan, and then two girls who are hella feminist) so I will include some of their reactions as well just to give an idea of what it was like for different people

- right out of the gate the Marvel intro montage is all Stan Lee. It was very heartfelt and the entire theater clapped. That pretty much set the mood for the entire movie

- I know a lot of critics found the beginning to be slow, and while I agree I didn’t mind it. One of my friends said she thought the beginning was a little too jumbled and she described it as “it’s like the directors learned how to direct as the movie went on”. 

- The movie opens with Carol (at this point called Vers) having a confusing nightmare and trying to decipher it afterwards with little help from those around her. Because Carol has amnesia, the audience is left to feel what she feels which is confusion. I get what the directors were going for, but it was a little jumbled. 

- I did find the dream sequence effective and did feel Carol’s confusion and fear when she woke up. 

- She goes to her mentor yon-rogg and asks if he wants to practice fighting. They banter, and it becomes immediately clear to the audience that although Carol is confused they have a rapport with each other and she trusts him. Although he teases her, he *appears* to care for her. During the fighting scene there is more banter, but yon-rogg also tells Carol to control her emotions better. I know there were a lot of complaints from fuckboys about brie larson being stoned faced, but it makes sense for the character. She has emotions, and then is told to suppress them. 

- it was satisfying to see her zap him with her powers anyway, and the whole “don’t show emotion” garbage he was telling her reminded me of like every female experience ever and first clued me in on yon-rogg’s shadiness

- On the train ride back from fighting, carol and yon-rogg have very flirty banter and eye contact and i was like ohhhhhhhh and interpreted it that they were a thing. I’m not sure if this was on purpose, but jude law and brie larson had great chemistry (brie had chemistry with everyone though tbh) and it was very hard to ignore. Plus they’re both hot. I leaned over to my friends and asked “they’re a thing right?” and they said “yes I thought so too” and “i think it’s implied”

- When Carol gets sent to the artificial intelligence place to be approved for her first mission I did find that scene pretty confusing and jumbled

- The mission itself was very dimly lit which made it a little confusing to understand/see what exactly was happening

- But it was cool to see Korath from GOTG. One thing this movie did really well was tying into other MCU movies and connecting everything. This movie definitely feels fresh compared to other origin stories but also fits in the the universe and makes it feel more complete

- When Carol was captured and her memories explored, ben mendolsohn’s voice came on as a voice over for talos and I leaned over to my guy friend and went “i fucking love ben mendolsohn” because ITS TRUE. His voice is so recognizable and then even underneath the skrull make up his acting was so distinct

- The memory exploration scene was jumbled like the nightmare, and it made me wish that we got more of carol’s human life backstory. I got the vibe that those scenes would have been better if they were fleshed out more instead of just little tidbits for the audience. that was one of my biggest complaints for the movie is the order the flashbacks appear and how little there were

- Carol screaming at one of the skrulls as she escapes was super funny and showed a lot of her personality. I think it separates her from a lot of heroes because most are nervous as they are trying to escape but she seemed confident in her powers and her ability and therefore could joke around a bit more

- The story definitely picked up once she crash landed on earth, and the 90s nostalgia was very funny and all of those jokes landed with the audience

-Samuel l jackson did a great job as a young fury. This fury is different. He’s much more idealistic and optimistic about the world, and functions more as a good cop than the fury we see in other mcu movies. It was also cool to see coulson again

- I really really enjoyed the scene when carol is able to make contact with the rest of the kree warriors the first time from the phone booth. Even though I got a bad vibe from yon-rogg I did get the feeling that he genuinely cared for carol’s safety. By the end of the movie my opinion about that was conflicted but I think that scene did a good job of showing that she was with them for 6 years which is a long time and why it took her so long to process everything that happened later because it countered everything she knew. It also did a really good job of showing that when she first landed on earth, she still was more kree than human. Her report back was very matter of fact compared to her later contact with them.

- Brie larson and samuel l jackson had GREATTT buddy cop comedy chemistry

- The train chase was very fun to watch, and like the trailer it was very satisfying to see Carol punch the “old lady” 

- the scene where fury and talos (disguised as a SHIELD agent) look to see if the dead skrull has a penis got A LOT of laughs

- There’s a scene where Carol is standing outside trying to figure out her next move and this motorcycle dude pulls up and revs the motorcycle and tells her to smile. She just glared at him and then stole his motorcycle and it was ICONIC

- Again I really really really love the dynamic between Carol and Fury

- the second phone call when Carol makes contact with the Krees shows her more human side coming out. Brie Larson is great at showing emotion and as she was starting to put the pieces together everything was making more sense and less sense at the same time and you could feel her confusion and panic that something was off.

- Ben Mendolsohn is a gem and needs to be protected pass it on

- I LOVEDDDDD the moment when Coulson let Carol and Fury go without ratting them out just proving once again that he is one of the best and while i love loki i also hate him for killing him because coulson is too good for this world

- Things got really good when Fury and Carol went to Maria because I STAN FEMALE FRIENDSHIP SO HARD. From the first look they had so much depth and Maria played a huge part of helping Carol understand who she was. 

- Also go Maria for being a badass pilot and single mom and amazing best friend

- MONICA IS THE BEST OMG. Her line to her mom about setting an example for her was A++++++

- Goose the cat was also great the only thing I’ll say about this is that Goose is a scene stealer. I don’t want to give the spoilers for Goose away because while predictable they are things I wouldn’t want to spoil for anyone

- I loved the subtle nods at gender inequality 

- While the “twist” of Talos and the skrulls being good was predictable it was still very enjoyable. The predictability of it did not take anything away from it. There were references to how other planets treat refugees and Ben Mendolsohn did a great job with the pathos required for the role

- He also did an A+ job with the humor which I won’t give away because those lines are worth hearing fresh

- I think yon-rogg ‘s shadiness at the beginning is what tipped me off to the twist that he is the true villain of the story. 

- Again, the movie’s flashback scenes felt like they should be my favorite part and filled with drama and be the emotional backbone, but they just didn’t get there. It took so much effort to decipher them that you didn’t really get to sit back and process the emotional weight of them. So when Carol ran out crying once her memories returned while I thought the acting between her and Maria was great, the meaning of the conversation and hug did not have the full weight because the audience (or me) was still processing what we just learned

- Annette Bening is my mom. Also if there was ever a biopic on elizabeth warren she should play her. Also I don’t like that we didn’t get as much Mar-Vell and the reveal that she was helping the skrulls was very rushed and I feel should have had more of an emotional impact. Plus more about her relationship with carol

- Talos reuniting with his family was incredibly sweet

- It’s cool to see where exactly the tesseract ended up between CA: TFA and Avengers

- Okay.why.do.yon-rogg.and.carol.have.so.much.sexual.tension. I was worried it was just me and I looked at my friends and was just like wtf is this are they about to fuck? and we basically agreed that their sexual tension kept building throughout the final act of the movie and that they wanted to hate fuck. After one moment during the fighting it kept building my friend went “yep THIS IS CANON”  because you guys I am not kidding like I don’t ship them because yon-rogg SUCKS but they had the best accidental chemistry of any co stars ever

- The scene where Carol breaks out of the restraints and realizes her full power was BADASS. I loved the flashback montage of her always getting back up again and embracing who she it. POETIC CINEMA

- Though I personally did not like the scene where she is fighting off the Kree on the ship.. . I just wasn’t a fan of the song choice and some of the lines were just cliche. It was nice to watch Carol smile with each hit as her power increased because she was enjoying it which is something we dont see a lot i feel like but the scene did not reach its full potential for me

- It was cool to see ronan and have the space marvel movie characters be tied in. And interesting that we saw ronan before he went “rogue” Again this movie did a great job connecting the dots to other marvel movies

- CAROL IS SO POWERFUL OH MY GOD THANOS IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS KICKED AND IT WAS SO SATISFYING TO SEE HER JOURNEY

- speaking of satisfying watching her tell yon-rogg she doesn’t need to prove him anything and then blasting him into a rock cured my depression

- again i dont really understand their relationship because there’s the sexual tension, the seemingly genuine caring on his side that is conflicted with his utter manipulation and lying (a very good example of how abusive/manipulative people often don’t come across that way)... the fact that she doesnt kill him? like girl kill him and be done. It was funny when she grabbed his hand and then just dragged him to his ship, but then when he told her he couldnt go back empty handed the way jude law delivered the line made it seem like he was confiding in her and there was this intimacy. And then she was just like “boy bye im ending this war and idgaf what happens to you” because shes a queen and is done with his lies

- The ending with Carol and Talos was cute

- The ending with Coulson and Fury made me want to cry and scream because the avengers theme song began to play and we see the beginning stages of the avengers initiative which just made me think about how we have one month till all the characters we love die and this franchise has meant so much to me over the years

- the mid credit scene continued that excitement and dread.

If I was ranking the movie as a critic, I would probably give it 65%. It was good, I was never bored, the performances were great. But it definitely should have been better. There were just some parts of it that were underwhelming or didn’t deliver the way they should. My guy friend said it was just okay and that it felt more like a tie in to endgame and less about captain marvel herself. My other friends agreed on the 65% from an objective opinion, but we all want to see it again.

As a hardcore marvel fan, I give the movie 75%. I loved the characters, the easter eggs, the acting, the way the movie felt like a new beginning for marvel while still tying into past movies. It was everything I love about this franchise

[lovedinapastlife]

Riverdale 3x16 - BIG FUN

BUGHEAD IS BEAUTIFUL~

Oh damn this episode is surreal in a way I’m not entirely comfortable with. But it’s exciting! Everyone’s looking forward to moving on from the craziness of dead bodies, breakups, and…drug trades. Amidst college and running businesses and stuff. Obviously. Normal high school stuff. Kinda reminds me of the nostalgia for season one.

Was the opening Mr. Musical Theater’s big number? Shucks, I wanted more of a sampling. This was mostly talk-singing, which…I’ll take. Kinda like the awkward rocking in the hallway haha.

Lili wearing green makes her eyes pop and my heart go poof. Similarly to Jughead’s adoring fuzzy feelings, I’m sure. DANG. They’re in HIS room now. Are they staying together?! Yay!

Aw I kinda like the idea that Betty and V would help Cheryl look and feel her best after being tossed over (ish)

I love the intros. “Bro it up. Two single straight dudes” like wow.

Chainsaw line is iconic, especially when moving to cut to the title. You think Kevin was subtly trying to dig at Cheryl for forcing him to cater to her?

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR - another theme of this season

Betty rolling her eyes is amazing.

I love that the girls choreo’d their own fanciness. I liked Cheryl’s batch better but tbh I didn’t enjoy the dance-off and it’s hair-whip noises. Maybe it was so hyped in the behind-the-scenes videos that I found myself cringing at the octopus moves? And Toni’s batch wasn’t in sync so it was that much more awkward to watch. But I did love the “SHUT UP, TONI!” and look B+V exchanged afterwards. Yeah just gonna say up front this episode react is probably not gonna sit well with Toni stans.

Hiram dropping dramatic family stuff and racking up a bill at the Five Seasons. Who would’ve thought he’d be the one to instigate that divorce, right? Veronica cries almost disturbingly well. I’m not sure why she’d want them to be together after the assassination attempts and affairs and general shenanigans, but hey—it’s Riverdale.

Oh god is Betty the only one who notices the death-blue drinks and scary Gargoyle Pig person? These kids are stupid. I did catch Sweet Pea/JD with his slurpee which made me happy. FREEZE YOUR BRAAAAAIN~ Judge away the whole party, Betty. They tend not to be great luck in this town.

“Brainiac?!” Did she just call Reggie that?! HA. Oh geez I hate Evelyn (but I love her flouncy scrunchie and graphic shirts) and I hate Kevin and their stupid cult and drugs. Why can’t brownies ever be normal on a teen show?! Also, HI MIDGE!

I do love the idea of throwing a party to take ownership of Sisters of Quiet Mercy. If only it wasn’t so cult-y. Why are there people in swimsuits in the drowning tub while Archie jumps over them? Also, drugged-up dancing got some good Kevin hip waggles and some yikes s1 arrogant Reggie vibes. But Veggie is on again for 30 seconds? Okay then.

Jughead eating in the background as Betty side-eyes the circle share is such a glorious mood. Aw and then hugs for V. I am LOVING this side-eye mood. How did people not know Archosie was happening when they were always in the practice room, at each other’s houses, and walking in the halls together? So much awkward is happening that the cringe levels are through the roof. Kevin’s hand on his heart was so over-the-top. I kinda loved it? And I’m surprised V didn’t have more of a reaction to the Archie stuff, tbh, even if she’s got bigger things on her mind.

Oh no Toni’s got a solo and it’s here for the color of blood. Literally. Is she pointing at their crotches? Ugh her stripping musical threesome was so insulting it made my stomach churn. They just tried to make it seem like Sweet Pea wants something deep and yet he’s ready for a random hookup again? Peaches hasn’t even had any lines or anything to do but stand around looking smug. They’re trying so hard to make Toni sexy and it’s just feeding the lesbian/bisexual slutty stereotype. Can this show do hookups? Ever? There’s been no sexual/attraction buildup to this “threesome” (honestly Toni hasn’t even been a good friend to SP lately) and there was no fallout afterwards either! She was just like, “COME STRIP ONSTAGE WITH ME and this other person you’ve never talked to but beat the shit out of you one time. Oh wait no I’m good with my clingy yet complimentary ghost gf, you two have fun byeeeee”

Jughead and Betty flirting makes me feel slightly better

OH GOD NO KANGS. At this point the bile I’d been suppressing was legit in my throat. Like, why does attraction/love have to be tied to something awful 90% of the time in this show? Kevin and Fangs could’ve been a cute couple if they built up their connection beyond two lines over the course of two seasons. But no. Cult psychedelic weirdness over Midge, just like Moose and Kevin. Maybe even over Joaquin. DO WE NOT LEARN? I’m not even gonna start with the Farmies.

Archosie scene. Fun spin dance, but I still think they’re cute paper cutouts of nothingness at this stage.

Oh, of COURSE Weatherbee joined a cult. Loser.

I love Cheryl’s Heather Chandler vibe and scrunchie. Good call about making Toni test the tea for poison. Aw, I kinda wanted to see Ghost!JJ.

I have basically a folder full of stills of this scene and narrowed it down to these. Aw baby Jug, Betty understands better than anyone what he’s going through. When Betty was trying to get Jughead to look at her I legit felt emotional. And then they were beautiful. Forever. WE FINALLY GOT THEM DANCING! Oh and on his knees! Proposal vibes! I might’ve watched this scene EIGHT BILLION times for the eyes and hands and general endless soulmate love vibes. Like, this scene made the episode for me. They were so emotional and invested and harmonized like angels and I needed that in my life so thank you, universe. I hope Cole and Lili get to do amazing scenes like this together in the future because it was beautiful.

Ch*ni kinda interrupted my mains with their totally different vibe and zero choreography, even though they did sound lovely. Neither of them have changed their behavior to make their relationship work internally, whereas Bughead are sick of the external forces of the town trying to destroy their childhood icons/innocence and bonding over their love for each other despite their familial madness. I need a Bughead exclusive soulmates cut. Thank you.

Haha um...I think closing the drug lab in general would be good? Maybe not during the musical when Betty might be vulnerable again (and the rest of Riverdale) but hey...it’s entirely possible it’s emotional and not logical of me to say that ;) Sheriff FP seems extremely unbothered by mobile drug labs in town so why should we be, right?

HIRAM! SAY IT LIKE IT IS! I love that he called out Veronica’s shock over Hermione trying to have him killed. Twice. How rude.

I actually really liked Cami’s interpretation of “Lifeboat.” It’s pretty, but I’m not sure it added much to her story? Same with her attempt to have her parents go to opening night together. Maybe that song is more of an overarching theme for her story this season. Ish? But she also distances herself from people? Mehhhh overanalyzing Riverdale hurts my brain. And then her ploy to have one last happy memory is just them not looking or talking at each other and she feels worse. Ouch.

Why is there so much old stereo equipment in their house? I know they worked at a garage/scrapyard, but I didn’t see any speakers? I care too much about set dressings but whatever. Poor FP is dealing with hazards of being on the job. Gladys had hilarious delivery like, “Oh nooooo. Drugs. That’s terrible.” Also, she’s totally drinking beer in front of him, a recovering alcoholic. Classy. And also telling. Jughead and Betty are just side-eyeing in the background.

Did Cheryl send herself all those roses?! XD I did think the “blot” moment was cute but I still don’t understand what’s changed. I don’t even know if Veggie is a thing. Probably not. Okay then. Did love Reggie looking in the handheld mirror totally in-character though.

I KNEW THEY’D BURN THE PLACE DOWN ONE DAY! Omg the puns. The fire extinguisher. The kiss—oh oh my. Arson and tender body touching. All right. I’m down. Do they have a car now? Is Bughead gonna live in it? I cannot handle their passion in the best way possible.

The finale choreography was terrible. Oh my god was that cringe. I mean, couldn’t we at least get them looking at each other for a sec like the adorable Bughead moment of holding hands? Or someone helping V when looking at her parents? I get that they’re entreating the audience to be better (like Betty’s speech a billion years ago), but it didn’t hit the mark with me for some reason. My expression was mostly a mix of the Jones’. Was it just me, or did everyone onstage look like they were in some range of pretending really hard not to feel uncomfortable?

HI CHAD! The cult is terrifying. Also, if all the psychos are there, why aren’t Alice and Polly in attendance? The woooooorst. Was no one else inclined to clap like a normal person? Evelyn in general was interesting, trying to earn her father’s approval and everyone’s trust, but it’s usually so messed up on drugs and stuff that I don’t quite enjoy her scenes. Everything with the Farm is usually deferred, which annoys me, but we’ll get our answers soon, I’m sure. I want more Chad. I’m curious if the buildup is gonna pay off ^-^

And people are going through windows next time?

I really wanted the “hell” line from Heathers when Bughead came back from burning stuff down but I will live. Okay. Put our bids in for next season’s musical now and how long it’s gonna take us to get a promise/engagement ring on Bughead. Thank you.

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.