#omgcp headcanons

[wrathofthestag]

I love how we often write Jack as having 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner in his condo, much to Bitty’s dismay and horror.

Please. That boy's mother is a former supermodel. You know his bathroom is full of MALIN+GOETZ and Le Labo products.

2-in-1? Jack Laurent Zimmermann has never.

[zimmerdouche]

dex, drunk, in the kitchen with bitty. circa 2017: i’m like the lost property brother, but i flip gingerbread houses

bitty: you’re so wise

[parvuls]

my favorite headcanon: the only season in jack's whole entire career where he isn't 110% focused on getting to and winning the cup is the one leading up to their wedding. bitty and he did plan around the playoffs, and are getting married later in the summer, but still - for the first time ever, some part of jack thinks it won't be so bad if the falcs get eliminated and he has more time to participate in the wedding preparations with bitty.

so of course, that is exactly the season the falcs win the cup again. bitty can't decide if he's more proud/overjoyed or angry about it.

[transwicky]

Wicky didn't know why he was so bored. He absolutely knew he could be doing homework but he couldn't concentrate on it and he was just so. Bored.

There was also the fact he got distracted on the ice and missed getting that pass.

Jack had chewed him out majorly for that.

He also forgot to do his laundry like. Four days in a row.

Oops.

It was Ransom who asked if he had ADHD.

"uh. What's that?"

Ransom had him talk to the coaches.

Coach Murray was laughing as Coach Hall sighed, but suggested he talk to a doctor or therapist or something.

Well, one of them got him tested and apparently he has ADHD.

And then he was prescribed Adderall.

He finished his homework the same day, did his laundry, and he actually was focused on the game that night.

Holy shit.

Didn't explain Coach Hall hitting his head on the desk that night after the game, though.

(Coach Hall was exactly like Wicky as a teenager and he's crying over having to go through what his own coach did/said he hoped he went through as a coach.)

[zimms]

can we talk about the fact that holster lived in iowa for a bit like what the fuck was that about?

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Johnathan Hopper, being from the Chicago/Evanston area, is a major Fall Out Boy fan.

[xxlittle0birdxx]

For @displayheartcode

Headcanons for the Bittle-Zimmerman farmhouse:

Bitty keeps a garden. He plays Beyoncè for his heirloom tomatoes. The strawberries are Swifties. His herb garden prefers whatever Spotify playlist Jack uses when he goes on his morning runs. Jack started talking to the basil in French. Bitty ended up making pesto.

The kitchen takes up half the first floor. It’s the heart of the house. Clearly. It has a big stone fireplace that Bitty has used to cook things. Jack has pizza delivery on speed dial when Bitty announces he’s going to cook in the fireplace. It always smells like freshly baked bread. Bitty’s sourdough starter is named Blanche. Like the Golden Girl. She’s a sassy bitch. There’s a sitting area and breakfast nook. If they have parties, everyone gravitates toward the kitchen. It has a door that leads directly to Bitty’s hothouse. The kitchen is painted butter-yellow. There is more than one oven.

Jack found the dilapidated farmhouse while he was taking a drive to clear his head one weekend. He liked the wraparound porch. He pulled into the drive and instantly saw Bitty and a couple of kids cavorting in the yard. He put an offer on it the next day.

The wall of the staircase has Jack’s photos on it. Mostly black and white photos. The mantle of the living room fireplace is crowded with family photos. Most of them are candid shots.

There are six bedrooms, four full bathrooms, and two powder rooms. Tater practically lives there during the off-season. Ransom, Holster, Chowder, Nursey, and Dex call it Haus 3.0. Nursey finished his first novel in one of the guest rooms.

Alicia and Suzanne helped pick out the furniture. It looks nice, but can withstand an entire NHL team celebrating a Stanley Cup win.

There’s a photo of Patrick, their youngest, recreating Jack’s first encounter with the Stanley Cup during his first encounter with the Stanley Cup. In all fairness to Patrick, he was only 3 months old.

Jack built an outdoor kitchen for barbecues. Bitty uses it to can his jams.

Jack learned food photography. He does the photos for Bitty’s cookbooks, but uses a pseudonym. (His first and middle initials and his paternal grandmother’s maiden name.) All the photos are done in the kitchen, dining room, or the back deck/outdoor kitchen.

[parseisflat]

the nurse-ification of smh (1019 words) by chonkytheslur Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Samwell Men's Hockey Team, Larissa "Lardo" Duan, Jack Zimmermann, Derek "Nursey" Nurse, William "Dex" Poindexter, Justin "Ransom" Oluransi, Chris "Chowder" Chow, Adam "Holster" Birkholtz, Shitty Knight, Eric "Bitty" Bittle Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poetry, couldn't sleep so now this exists Summary: Poetry written by various SMH members. Yes, even Dex.

new poem just dropped

[wrathofthestag]

So I have a new headcanon that eventually, Jack will write a cookbook. After years of watching Bitty cook, Jack picks up a lot. At first, he's shy in the kitchen and looks to Bitty for reassurance and guidance. Gradually, he dives into cooking with gusto. Much to Bitty—and Bob's—delight, he becomes more fearless and adventurous in the kitchen.

With Bitty's busy schedule, Jack begins cooking more meals at home. He approaches Nate the team's dietitian for info on cooking for athletes. They have long chats and Nate gives him lots of books and recommends some online courses if Jack is "really interested." Which he is!

Jack then finds himself making lunches for the guys. Tater draws a cute little cartoon of Jack with a chef's toque that he tapes to the nook wall.

Like everything Jack approaches, he is 110% and is diving into the science of food, particularly in relation to the athlete. Bitty is charmed beyond belief.

"Honey, this is delicious and you have definitely outdone me when it comes to cooking for the team."

"Euh, thanks, Bits."

Jack blushes but feels good when he brings food for the Falconers. And blushes even more when the guys chirp him as they happily dig into Jack's creations. It's then that Jack finally understands, truly understands what Bitty feels when he cooks for others.

Soon, FalcsTV is always abuzz about Jack's cooking, especially with Tater's What's in Zimbonni's Kitchen? segment. So, it's no surprise when Bitty's agent approaches Jack about a cookbook for athletes.

"Bits is the chef, not me," he quickly replies.

But Bitty's agent, and Bitty, smile. Soon the book debuts and, of course, it's a hit.

Shitty and the team chirp Jack within an inch of his life.

"What's with the beefcake photo, brah?" Shitty razzes (as the pride shines on his expression).

Bitty quickly shushes him.

"The publisher knows what the masses want, Byron."

Jack's a little embarrassed, but ultimately, he doesn't care. He's proud of the work he's done and smiles as he puts a copy of Eat More Protein next to all of Bitty's cookbooks in their kitchen.

[zimmerdouche]

fall 2017 smh is watching a breakdown of their most recent game on tv and an announcer lets something slip about them being “the gayest hockey team in america”

they immediately design and order t shirts

[parvuls]

jack's Thing is being too competitive for his own good. jack post-retirement is still jack, so instead of it manifesting as headstrong-ing his way from rehab right back to hockey, in retirement he gets into a life of really petty competitions with the neighbors. best-kept front lawn. most outrageously decorated house on christmas. most fearsome pta parent to ever be involved in their kids' education. he and mr. hicks from four houses down the road nearly dropped gloves over their children's competing lemonade stands and bitty had to deliver three pies to make it blow over without a lawsuit

[rainbowsandbutterflies029]

Jack Zimmermann has a busted up android even though he can afford to buy a brand new smart phone for every single player on the Falcs + Front Office. You cannot convince me differently.

[gothlesbianlardo]

alicia zimmermann wouldn’t call sfx in horror “terrible” or “worse” she would eat that shit up and enjoys playing characters where she gets to wear prosthetics makeup and fake blood

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Foxtrot completes an internship at a circus at some point between the start of her junior year and graduation.

[ohyoufool]

Lamilla AU where Lardo moonlights as a songwriter and Camilla is the resident pop star who's going through a rough patch with her recording company. Wanting to make a new splash into the industry, Camilla tracks down Lardo's online persona in order to start of her new album all the while Lardo watchers her and jack get closer.

Que the hijinks, the mistaken identity, and the moments of uncertainty while your crush sings a song about unrequited love to you and your entire campus

@tingo-tango

I'm like 10 years late to seeing this ask but guess what. I LOVE IT.

God like... Lardo the songwriter writing all these songs and Camilla singing them and the FEELINGS she would get about it. And then she gets Inspired ™ and writes like. This queer pop anthem and sends it to Camilla DRUNK after Shitty forces her hand or something. But then Camilla literally sends her a demo the next morning. Like she woke up and recorded it.

The single goes MEGA viral. Award show time. Camilla goes with Jack, and Lardo is like. Well. Ha. Of course. They're together! Totally! And then she finds Jack MACKING ON THE VOGUE SOCIAL MEDIA GUY (*ahem* bitty *ahem*) IN A HALLWAY. And she's like "Oh my god I have to tell Camilla. No it's going to break her heart. NO I HAVE TO BE HONEST."

So she goes find Camilla and she's trying to pull her away but then they get papped together and Camilla starts POSING LIKE THEY'RE A COUPLE. and introduces her as her songwriter and "muse" to the press. So they get past the red carpet and Lardo grabs Camilla and is like "listen, here's the thing." and Camilla is like. "Well so the thing is that I'm his beard. And also I am gay."