#check please headcanon

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Foxtrot completes an internship at a circus at some point between the start of her junior year and graduation.

[astaroth1357]

So. As something of a connoisseur of depictions of the 7 Deadly Sins in media, I was just mulling over FMAB and thought, “I don’t know if anyone as crossed this over with OM before, but that would actually be kinda fire though.”

Like, imagine each of the brothers with the destructive powers of their respective Homunculi.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer coming off as the most normal at first, until MC catches how his shadow bends and curves to avoid harsh light. They swear they sometimes hear him chuckling in the dark corners of the House, but they never actually find him anything there when they check. Red eyes reveal themselves in unlit rooms and follow them through the halls, all the while they keep wondering how he always seems to know where they are whenever he's away…

Mammon hardening his skin to be tougher than diamond, then using it to reinforce his claws and smoothly cut a perfect circle into glass display case. Him letting himself get punched when things don’t matter, but instantly hardening his cheek to break the assailant's hand whenever he starts getting serious. Or literally using his body to protect MC from harm as their first man and loyal shield.

Leviathan having a MASSIVE aquatic beast form that he shoves into a normal sized body, making him feel even more distant to others. Using transformations to regularly make himself look like his favorite anime characters/idols since he can’t stand the thought of looking at his true form. Yet, he still has that conservation of mass going, so he can simultaneously look like a 12 year-old girl and kick a car down the street like a soccerball.

Satan using his gifted sight to become an absolute force of nature. Not just a mere brute, but a sophisticated and effective killing machine with the wit and reflexes to mow down entire armies before breaking a sweat. Never blinded by fury, but harnessing his rage behind every inescapable strike. Him silently vowing that any threat to MC or his family will barely get to finish a thought before he's cut them down with precision and grace.

Asmodeus mostly using his extending nails for glorious manicures, but not being afraid to pierce the heart or lungs of anyone he doesn’t much like. He hears an incubus talking shit from a few tables down and stabs a hole through the jerk's skull while never looking away from his milkshake. His fights with Mammon getting 1000 times more destructive as his razor sharp claws bounce off his brother's skin and dig into the walls and furniture. The only thing he hates about them are how long it takes to scrub the blood off his nails afterwards.

*silently contemplates the possibility of Beel ripping himself in half to reveal a nightmarish second “stomach” capable of sucking anything into a blood-filled pocket dimension of which there is no light, hope, or escape* … Okay, moving on.

And of course, for those unaware FMAB Sloth could run at like the speed of sound which was threatening because he was also a behemoth. However, Belphie probably weights 125 pounds when wet, so… I admittedly get a giggle at the idea of him giving Lucifer a speed-of-light drop kick from across the House. That is probably all he would use it for, too. Him just getting those horns out and going into ramming speed… What a menace

Bonus: Wonder what kind of alchemist Solomon would be? 🤔

[ruexvn]

𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝙰𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚛

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ

𝚃𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚎. 𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖. 𝙸𝚝 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞

'𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎...'

𝚄𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚎. 𝙷𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚢, 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚡𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠. 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠, 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚒 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎?

𝙸𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚃𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜; 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚜. 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙰 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎. 𝚂𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚡 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚊 𝚓𝚊𝚛. 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜.

"...𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔?..𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝..𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗.."

𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠, 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕? 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘-𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚛, 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛, 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝. 𝚁𝚞𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖. 𝙸𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚞𝚗 𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍. 𝙾𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚜. 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖. 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚢. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍. 𝚃𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚍. 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎. 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙷𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖.

"𝚌-𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝...𝚒 𝚠𝚘-𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞.."

𝙷𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚘. 𝙷𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙷𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢'𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍. 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚖. 𝙷𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝, 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎.

"𝚒 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚢-𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎?... 𝚗𝚘 𝚗𝚘... 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍"

𝙷𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚡𝚎𝚜, 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚜. 𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑. 𝙰𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜...𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌....𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗.

"𝚜𝚑 𝚜𝚑 𝚜𝚑𝚑𝚑.... 𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎... 𝚍-𝚍𝚘-𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢... 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚔-𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝"

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚙. 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚝. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜.

"y-your 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚖-𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚔?.... 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎..."

𝙷𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢. 𝙷𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚡𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙷𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚋𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝙷𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚙𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜, 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚜. 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜. 𝙿𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎. 𝙷𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚢𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜.

"𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜-𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍... 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚋-𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕-𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚔?"

𝙷𝚎 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

"𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚜.... 𝚒𝚖 𝚗-𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚘 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛"

"𝚠𝚑𝚘... 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞.."

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝. 𝚃𝚘𝚋𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠. 𝙷𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍

"𝙸𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚛"

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ

[zimmerdouche]

dex, drunk, in the kitchen with bitty. circa 2017: i’m like the lost property brother, but i flip gingerbread houses

bitty: you’re so wise

[quadrantadvisor]

Owl House/Boiling Isles biology headcanons from a fic idea I never wrote:

Witches have a wider range of color vision than humans. A lot of magic puts off infrared light (meaning Luz is missing out on like, half of what spells actually look like).

Humans, however, have a better sense of smell. Witches are better at digesting potentially hazardous materials, but humans have to worry about poisons. Humans are also highly specialized to smell petrichor (via Wikipedia, "able to detect it at concentrations as low as 0.4 parts per billion"), and witches can't smell it at all. (Luz is like, "I miss the rain smells in the human realm so much. On the Boiling Isles the rain just smells like burning :/" and all her friends are like, "what. are you talking about."

Witches don't have an appendix, but they do, coincidentally, also have a random organ that doesn't have much of a purpose and sometimes ruptures and kills you. It's located slightly above the right lung.

Kinda obvious but, ears. Witch ears have a greater curve than human ears and taper into a point. They have some limited mobility, allowing the witch to pinpoint sounds, and they play a part in emotional expression. For a witch, it's not really that strange that human ears are round, it's more that they don't move at all. They're completely stiff, and it makes humans difficult to read. (Luz is lucky she's otherwise very expressive, or else she would come off as nearly emotionless. As it is, sometimes people think she's not being genuine, because her ears don't match the rest of her expression, like when someone smiles without their eyes.)

Humans have slightly denser bones than witches. As a result, humans weigh a bit more on average and put on muscle easier.

Witches can't digest lactose

A high tolerance for most human poisons means that alcohol isn't a popular drug for witches. It technically affects them in a similar way, but their tolerance is such that it's not an effective way to get high. Most of the drugs used recreationally on the Boiling Isles would kill a human instantly.

Witches have a different pulse beat from humans, since their hearts are designed differently to accommodate the bile sac (and grimwalkers' pulses are even more unique, since they have a galdorstone. Rather than the thump of blood valves, Grimwalkers have a sort of magic hum that pulses their circulatory system.)

[jade-len]

you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."

gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling

and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!

but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever

i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.

i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3

[artbyfuji]

bumbleby psychic beam attack

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Do you think Wei wuxian listens to weezer?

I don't know...I don't know...I really don't know.....

[beauleifu]

Hello! Can you write a oneshot or a headcanon (platonic, ofc) about Macaque with a reserved but also very outgoing child? (like those kids that are calm and reserved but if you mention something they really like they just go off and start rambling all happy and excited)

I had this idea in my head for a little while, I think it'd be really funny and wholesome if he just appeared at Pigsy's Noodles w/ his child and everyone's like "wh- YOU'RE A DAD??? WHEN??? HOW????" and he just watches with that Tired Parent Look™ as his kid stares directly at MK and goes "YOU'RE THAT MONKIE GUY ON THE TV!!!"

Sorry for any errors! English is not my first language, I apologize for the long text aswell, I'm just an absolute sap for the "tired but loving dad" trope also you can totally delete my ask or skip it if you don't want to write it!! Thank you either way, your writing is wonderful :) !

All right! *cracks fingers, snaps neck- whoops-*

You got it anon! Sorry for not answering this ask sooner, I realized headcanons are easier to write than an actual oneshot considering the limited time I have to write nowadays. But I hope you enjoy, and thanks for the ask! <333

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUE X CHILD!READER

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: Long ago, a wise old monkey had taken you under his wing, to train you and teach you the ways- okay, let's save the theatrics for later, that's Macaque's thing. Your father figure. Honestly, he's growing on you, and it's starting to show now that people are pointing it out.

TW: None!

HEADCANNONS

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Macaque doesn't normally take you somewhere where conflict is bound to arise. He'd prefer someplace more peaceful, like a park/museum/theater. Unless, of course, he's in the mood for adventure and will literally take you skydiving without a permit.

Totally the irresponsible dad. He's protective as FUCK, let's make that clear, but in the end he trusts you to take care of yourself

perhaps a bit too much, and even you think that

He'll encourage you to pet that snake

He'll give you the thumbs up if you wanted to climb to the top of the weather tower during a thunderstorm

Like "Go get 'em, (Y/N)! Make your father proud!"

With such a dramatic character when it comes to encouraging you, Macaque will become insanely tired. He'll be snoring on the couch and won't wake up even if you stacked all the furniture in the house on his back

Speaking of the house, he and you live far away from any danger

This guy didn't know jack shit about being a dad at first (you kind of hat to teach him, oh how the turns have tabled) But once he understood the basics, he took the reins, eager to impress you and earn your respect. Macaque isn't usually a sucker for developing any relationship with Earthly figures, but you were the only exception. He'd lay awake at night thinking if he's making the right choice, then slapping himself for even considering abandoning you. You are too precious.

Which is why he's totally, utterly wrapped around your little finger

So when you ask to get take-out at Pigsy's Noodles, it doesn't take much effort to sway his stoic resolve

"Dad. Pops. Papa. Father of mine," you say, grabbing his face, looking a lot older than you actually are. "Please!"

Since Macaque can't turn his face to the side (squished as it is), he sighs dramatically and closes his eyes. You catch the faint, irritated twitch of his tail, but that's about the only hint of Fed-Up Parent you can detect.

"(Y/N), Megapolis is miles away."

"You have shadow magic!"

"You can't just abuse my powers, especially now that you've decided to abuse yours," he grunts, albeit grinning at you. He' loosing.

Triumph fills your chest. "I can handle it! Uncle Pigsy would love to see me!"

"Uncle!?" Macaque splutters, finally escaping your grip. Shocked eyes blink down at you. "Sweetheart, you haven't even met Pigsy, you've only seen him from afar."

You blink up, flaunting those devil-may-care puppy eyes.

Oh, he hates it when you do that.

"Puh-lease! I'll do anything! i'll scratch your back! Do my chores before games! I-I'll stay out of your secret stash of peaches!" You gasp, flopping down on the soft carpet lining the floor. You consider the intricate pattern for a moment, then mutter under your breath; "Even though you said you hate those. . . ."

Macaque fixes you with a stern look. "You know about that, huh?"

"Mayyybe."

Like I said, not that much effort. The guy may be invulnerable to harm at best, but his immortality falls short under your tactics. Persuasive skills that he taught you to use.

Sucks how plans backfire, huh?

When you two do get to the shop, however, Macaque goes into full parent-mode

He doesn't care if you think it's uncool, you're holding his hand and that's that. He'd get you one of those child harnesses but thank the stars you'd convinced him you're worth more than such a humiliating child-control device.

So in you go, holding hands, Macaque glaring at anyone who spares you a curious glance.

When Macaque sees who's at the counter, he almost does a 180 out of there

It's MK.

Of all people.

He hasn't seen the two of you yet, though. You feel Macaque's paw tighten over your small, nimble fingers, and you can't help but squeeze back in return, asking a silent question.

It's times like these where you don't know what to do. You're still a child, even if this was your idea.

But then you spot who's at the counter

and At the same time, Pigsy comes 'round the corner with a giant tray of noodles- fit for the exact number of people surrounding the Monkie Kid. Suddenly, Macaque realizes who all is there.

This guy

Parent-Panic-Pro

The literal Monkey King is the first to turn head, eyes landing on Macaque first. You can tell instantly his fight-or-flight response just kicked in; shoulders tensing, teeth baring, eyes widening (oh yes, typical ex behavior- HAHA)

Then, all heads are turning.

And Monkey King's eyes land on you

Macaque steps in front of you, form tense and on high alert. "Heyyyy," he says, awkwardly.

The Monkey King tilts his head, perhaps confused as to why his old friend is protecting a little kid. Then he realizes. Poor guy connects the dots, lets out an unholy gasp of astonishment, and points and the both of you

"YOU. YOU- AND THEM- MACISTHATYOURKID-"

Pandemonium.

At least, in the most gentle context. MK and his friends do a double take, the Monkey King is gaping and trying to figure out who could ever love Macaque to result in this- and your dad just completely gives up. He gives you this look, like 'see why I was against bringing you here'

And you know. And your eyes say sorry, that you'll make it up to him later

Typical silent father/child communicating

(you guys are really good at that, communicating through your eyes or expressions. it helps in crowds)

That is, until your eyes fall on MK and realize for the first time that he's actually there

And Macaque's face falls into an impossibly disappointed facade (really, he's happy you're socializing) as you let go of his hand and prance right up to MK, eyes literal stars.

Thank goodness for MK, for he's kind and patient enough to let you blabble and gush on about how cool he is and how you've stayed up to date on the latest chaos he's incited (poor dude looks a bit downcast at that)

Funny how you went to such a well-behaved, shy kid to an energetic hyper-fixated gremlin in two seconds

All the while, Pigsy is listening, Monkey King corners Macaque and quietly demands answers (the two of them talk in the background for awhile as you socialize)

Noodles are served

There's just so many people in Pigsy's Noodles that the owner himself couldn't keep track of who ordered what, so everyone just got the same thing- and lots of it

In the end, you're all sitting down at the table (everyone had worked together to gather as many spare tables/chairs as possible to sit together at one huge-ass table)

You insisted you sit with Mei and MK in order to interrogate them about their adventures

OF course, you mean well, and they know that. And Macaque never pulls you aside because he likes seeing you like this, it makes him happy knowing you're indulging in the things you love, and he deosn't have the heart to tell you it's almost time to go home.

So you stay there for awhile, chatting with Mk and his friends

You get to know Pigsy (he doesn't mind being called your uncle, said at this point he's practically everyone's uncle or dad)

But alas

You're bit a child

And towards the end of the night, aftter everyone is stuffed full of noodles, you're conked out in your chair, slumped and snoring softly, eyes fluttering from dreaming

Everyone glances at you, how fucking adorable you are

Macaque straightens, clears his throat, says it's time for him to leave

Sun Wukong stops him for a moment, just to say

"Keep them safe, Mac."

Of course, like the #1 Dad he is, Macaque snorts. "I think I know more about raising a kid than you do, Wukong. I'll . . . see you out there."

Then he picks you up, carefully, so you stay sleeping, and walks out

but not before turning around to thank everyone for dinner

For once, they offer smiles (some are weaker and less meaningful than others, but props for trying. Macaque is kinda responsible for a lot of pain in their lives, anyways)

You don't register any of it, too full of noodles and new information regarding your idols

Macaque knows he'll never hear the end of it

Perhaps that's a good thing, considering the fond smile on his face as he gently carries you home, lays you in bed, and pulls the covers over your snoring form. He eagerly awaits the morning to which you'll wake him up excitedly ranting about tonight, about how you want to do it again

And he's wrapped around your little finger, so if course he'll listen to you

this guy would move the world for you

[daemonmage]

Ok one more for the night:

A small list of things I think Bruce would have in his utility belt. (This is inspired by lots of things including posts on Tumblr. Please go check out the people I mentioned.)

1. A extra cape (he will often wrap his cape around victims and then feel too bad to ask for it back so he just has an extra cape. Inspired by a Detective Comics issue.)

2. Horse biscuits shaped like bats (inspired by that tumblr post about the Trinity riding unicorns. One of the commenters noted that maybe Batman was giving the unicorn biscuits in stead of that being the unicorns name and that idea is stuck in my head. The post is by dangerousdan-dan and the comment is by raaaaaaaawr)(pls inform me if i missed an a)

3. Shark Repellent (we all know)

4. The Kryptonite Ring (we also all know)

5. Sugar free lollipops (from the Nightwing issue)

6. Glitter Smoke Bombs (Stephanie snuck those in with his regular ones)

7. Gel Pens (inspired by my own post cause I thought about it more and Bruce would absolutely use gel pens regularly just not glitter ones cause the ink feels rough after it drys and the glitter gets everywhere)

8. A Camera Baterang (from that one family photo comic)

9. Catnip and Cat Food (he leaves some out for Selina’s cats)

10. Pain Meds (for various reasons but these ones are primarily for the back pain he undoubtedly has forever after knightfall)

11. Medical Stuff of all types, yes they all have little bats on them. (This ranges from bandaids to menstrual pads. Inspired by a ditzybat post)

12. A bat recorder (just in case he needs to record any final words, for others or for himself)

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Derek Nurse has a natural, stunning talent for accents and impressions.

[milk-ducts]

I'm so glad to have encountered a fellow Cecil stan. I freaking love coming up with headcanons for Cecil, platonic or romantic, because he's such an interesting character. For real though feel free to dump any Cecil headcanons (platonic or romantic) on me anytime.

AWAAAA!! YES HAII OTHER CECIL AFICIONADO !!! im so glad theres more of us sprouting out here. my wife is so underappreciated, you have no idea how much he means to me. i'd love to req n swap headcanons anytime !! I have so many thoughts on that morally ambiguous gilf.

[messy, disorganized surface level autism rambling ahead. this will be just random scenes and characteristics i like of him]

BUT YES .. cecil's character is just so interesting to analyze. he does unethical, necessary things. But he doesn't subscribe to idealistic notions of "the greater good" or justifying his actions to make himself sleep better at night. He knows the harsh reality that someone has to make the difficult decisions, no matter how unethical. The psychological toll it takes to calculate how many civilian lives can be spared, and how many are inevitably lost in order to achieve the optimal outcome. He doesn't celebrate after victories like the other heroes do. After the dust settles, his mind is already racing - calculating, strategizing how to prevent future catastrophes. How to minimize casualties next time.

his methods are...questionable,, as ive said,, but there's a hint of nobility to it that just makes you respect him, A SHADY GOVERNMENT CHAR that does the dirty work and takes in all the heat for it so no one else has to? SIGN ME TF UP! i love exploring his character and all the little glimpses of humanity we get to see from him,, especially with debbie, SO SOFT FOR HER, there's so much depth there. that old fuck would MOVE mountains for her if he could,, TRUST. EVEN though he doesnt deserve her .. <<

LETS CONTINUE TO CIRCLE BACK TO S1 with his confrontation w Nolan in the desert, the way he entrusted his survival to the skills of his team operating that teleporter watch (I'm aware he can control it himself, I think this was just my interpretation of it since the employees seemed directly involved here). The margin for error was nonexistent. One miscalculation, one millisecond too slow, and Cecil would have been reduced to a red smear across miles of sand. MY WIFE HAS BALLS ON HIM. (also love walton goggins breathy lil giggles here .. hwaghffhh)

All this, All the whilst Nolan could have ended him with a casual backhand, as easily as swatting a fly. And for what? For humanity's (mostly his) right to know the truth. For Debbie's right to understand what she had truly married because Cecil respects her that fucking much for her to have a part in all of this, and what fate may lay in store for her son.

AND what I particularly liked about that scene is that unlike most SHADY GOV CHARS ™.. Cecil isn't afraid to regularly place himself in life-threatening situations, and for that im just.. FKING obsessed. finally. a hyper competent gov char that gets shit done and occasionally by his own hands instead of always puppeteering in the shadows. Love u .. love u honey snooch, please stop putting yourself in danger for your crazy alien side-hoes .

but ahem ... back to s2.. and some flaws of his that i'm not afraid to point out. the way he's been treating mark is killing me. manipulating my son by comparing him to his dad then keeping him on lock by saying he's not like him??? The breadcrumming definitely didn't work out at all, cuz Mark is too damn stubborn to continue to be swindled by fear tactics he does not give a shit for anymore (homegirl DEBBIE taught him better) hes not gonna listen to a cranky skullet-having side bitch of nolans who clearly has been tryna manipulate him since s1. i HATED how he went "ur broke tyrannical bitch father felt the same way" in the last minute when mark tried to leave earth and yet i still lobve ceci cause ough,,.. my bastard wife knew something was probably up.

Him wanting to keep a short leash on MARKY could be summed up after all that has happened in s1. i'm not going to justify his scummy manipulations or paranoia,, especially after all the shit mark has done and endured to prove himself over and over again that he's not like his father BUT its somewhat understandable for cecil 2 be wary if you look from it in his perspective.

moving on from that, lets dive back into ep 2 ..

Debbie was semi-right in her deduction in s2 ep2, that this is what it's really all about for Cecil - being in control. Not of any situation, but of Mark. To ensure history does not repeat itself in the form of Mark becoming another Nolan. imo He likely doesn’t actually view Mark as his father, Not saying the possibility of it being a part of Cecil's subconsciousness is out of the equation but the way I see it? He was just exploiting that one weakness, that one insecurity Mark has - the fear of becoming like Nolan. And it’s a fear Cecil seemed to prey upon to keep Mark under his thumb and in the fucking GAME.

awaaaa :3 !!!! psychologically damaging teens by comparing them to their abhorrently shitty fathers !! FUCK YOJ STEDMAN (love you snookums..)

,,,,I'd also like to think in my warped deluded perception (aka hcs) that he sees Debbie in Mark, so he can't help but care for the kid too. IVE ALWAYS seen a lot of comparisons between Mark and his dad, plus the whole motif of this new season hasn't helped it allay. But Debbie and Mark share so many similar characteristics as well and i wish that was talked a bit more often &lt; 3 (I will go in depth about it at a later post.)

n umm like ...,,, bck to cici in gen. I guess the safety of earth is one of Cecil's redeeming qualities along with his compassion for side characters like Debbie. His pragmatism and utilitarianism define him. He lacks normal morals but has his own code that cultivates to his character. this ramble could not do justice to him ughfglg..,, what a compelling jezebel.. how can u captivate me so !!

My inbox is always open to discuss this multi-faceted rat man. here's to more cecil content in s2..,... hopefully with more of his dynamic with Debbie because I LIVE for that shit. though its unlikely their interactions could range to anything positive now since they may be hinting to cecil becoming an antagonist and/or taking extreme measures w/ mark. soo.. i dont think debbie's scolding was enough for that slut 2 take in ..

in the mean time i'll be catching up on the comics/re-reading them, look up more of his backstory and hopefully create 10 novels worth of google docs of analysis' of his character < 3 cuz .. he means .. that much 2 me.. and i want to prod at every crevice n brain matter he has inside that megamind head of his .

((hwaghhhhhh << hoping that one day the discord moots ive been keeping in my basement and most invincible fans fall victim to cecil stedman propoganda.. no one should be immune to my girlboss and his awful skullet.))

[zimmerdouche]

fall 2017 smh is watching a breakdown of their most recent game on tv and an announcer lets something slip about them being “the gayest hockey team in america”

they immediately design and order t shirts

[ccycloneblogging]

This is just so I can keep track of it - but below the cut is a list of every Dogday that Toon DogDay knows, as well as the nickname he has for them.

DogDay Taker, owned by both Oz and Realm in the Care Taker AU - Sunray. Toon sees Ray as his little brother and adores this excitable pup. This nickname is meant to really highlight how warm and excitable this dog is. That and it is kind of a nod to his abilities.

After Joy DogDay, owned by Crazycakeparrotart - Super Nova. To Toon, Super Nova is the ultimate mentor. He's amazed by him and wants to be more like him. The nickname is pretty much due to how massive he is in comparison to Toon - that and with how spectacular a super nova is, it only seems fitting.

Red Rest DogDay, owned by Deleted_va - Sunflower. Toon only meant to try and get Red out of his shell and give him an actual friend, but ended up falling for him when he saw his softer side. The nickname was chosen because sunflowers creeps Toon out a bit, but he finds them to be lovely and can see how one brightens up a room. He feels the exact same about Red.

Charm Magic DogDay, owned by Toast - Sunbeam. Toon is well aware that though this DogDay can literally become a super nova, he still feels the nickname of Sunbeam is more fitting. Gentle, comforting, and warm. He's amazed by this dog's abilities, and this was the first DogDay that he had met who wasn't exposed to the factory. Overall, he loves him dearly and wishes he could help ease his troubles.

Highway Robbery DogDay, owned by Kinger - Noon. Sheriff confuses him, but Toon is amendment about befriending this dog. There's so much about this world that he doesn't understand, but he wants to help Sheriff laugh more. The nickname was picked since noon is when the sun is at it's strongest. That and he couldn't pass up a "High Noon" joke.

Hour of Critters DogDay, owned by Wafel1160 - Sunspot. This DogDay? Toon is annoyed by him - but it's not hatred. It's more of this one being the better toon, and the fact that Toon CatNap can easily snuggle up to him. Any time he sees him, it's a full on cartoon fight. The nickname is meant to partially show he's annoyed by him, but he can respect this toon.

Starsong DogDay, owned by Jaspergem - Solar Flare. This DogDay is the only one that is shorter than he is, so he feels the need to pick him up and carry him around. He adores this pup and feels a strong urge to protect him. Toon sees him as his nephew, making him a fun uncle. The nickname was picked because he's positive that even though this DogDay is tiny, he must be able to pack a punch. Almost every DogDay is a leader for a reason, so Toon is certain that this little guy has a strength he hasn't seen just yet.

Uncontainable DogDay, owned by no-sleep-fox - Dawnbreaker. Yet another massive DogDay, but twice as friendly as the others he's met. Toon adores this DogDay and bonds over their similar fluffy ears. He just wants to hug him and never let him go. The nickname was picked because of how this DogDay is always so optimistic. He sees him as that positive force, the kick start to a new day.

Soulbound Dogday, owned by Nyactophiliac - Summer. This is perhaps the cuddliest DogDay that Toon knows. He just wants to keep this dog smiling and will try to crack a few jokes with him as often as he can. Toon finds him to be one of the comfiest and lovable dogs he's ever met. The nickname was picked because of how warm he finds him. Both in personality and just how warm he is whenever this dog insists on cuddling.

[parvuls]

omgcp characters + siblings headcanons

bitty - canonically an only child.

jack - canonically an only child.

shitty - I have this very specific headcanon about shitty's mom remarrying and shitty having a teenaged half-sister, who he fucking adores but who unfortunately thinks he's embarrassing as fuck. the only times she willingly has a conversation with him is when he brings lardo over (because lardo is cool).

lardo - has older brothers energy. you can't fight this. I'd say she has at least one older brother, and they get along pretty well. they don't talk much when she's at school, but they have an ongoing facebook chat exchange where they send each other dumb memes and funny cat videos.

ransom - according to the wiki, has two sisters. is most likely the eldest sibling and likes to lie to himself that he's their protective older brother, but honestly they could take him in a fight no problem. talks to his sisters the most out of the guys (his pregame routine includes facetiming them). EDITED: oops, it's actually canon he has one older sister and one younger one. I maintain that he still thinks he's their protective brother, and is still incredibly wrong about it.

holster - according to the wiki, has three sisters. gives off major middle child vibes, and no I will not take criticism on this. I would actually say he's a middle child and has a twin sister, if I didn't think he'd make having a twin sister his whole personality and mention her constantly.

chowder - canonically has a sister. I think he's the younger sibling and can most definitely be the annoying younger sibling when he's in the mood. does things like boast to his friends about how cool and accomplished his sister is and then go home and pull third-grade pranks on her all summer vacation. he's that "I can call her names because she's my sister but nobody else is allowed!!" brother.

nursey - has a much younger brother, like almost ten years younger. isn't and never was chill about this fact. when he goes home for breaks he's all like yeah whatever we'll probably have to do kid shit because of my baby bro but is then on the verge of tears when his brother tackle-hugs him as soon as he gets home. has one (1) picture in a full on elf costume from when he took his brother to the mall to see santa, and dex and chowder make sure everyone and their dog has seen that pic.

dex - canonically has a brother. probably has a whole bunch of brothers and sisters, like, at least four - so is the fourth out of five siblings, two of which are sisters and two are brothers. they all demand more attention than him, either because they're the perfect child or because they're the demon child, so he has that forgotten middle child syndrome. shared a bedroom with a sibling until he left for college and most definitely has hilarious life-long issues because of it.

[neep-neep-neep]

The way Jack says "nah, had to kiss 'em" instead of "kiss 'im". The way Jack says (in Ngozi's Beyonce album release extra art post i am now unable to find :( ) "I miss my spouse I miss his pies boo hoo" just makes me think.

What if Bitty is nonbinary. Bitty had a personal journey and discovered he/they pronouns fit them more. It was toward the end of his time at Samwell but with so much going on they wanted to take it slow with letting everyone know. Bitty and Jack talked about it. It was a personal thing for Bitty as they still struggle with expectations of masculinity and what it means to them but the freedom they start to feel in this new identity. Jack sees Bitty as nonbinary and addresses him as such.

What if Bitty's self-discovery does not end after graduation. He starts a new chapter of self-expression focusing for once on their inner self instead of how they present to others!