#one of my favorite fantasy football players

[the-football-chick]

The reshuffling running back game continues

[twopoppies]

You're not embarrassed being an old woman and being in tumblr? I would rather die that my grannies have an actual account on tumblr for celebrities rho

Why would I be embarrassed for having interests I enjoy? My guess is that you’re really, really young. And that maybe you don’t actually have solid relationships with adults who have lives outside of parenting or work. But I hope for you that when you’re my age you have hobbies that bring you happiness. And that by that point you realize that trying to shame someone for being an adult only makes you look too immature to be in adult spaces, which Tumblr is.

When I was 20, I loved music, making art, writing and reading good stories, fashion, talking about popular culture, making friends, going to concerts… You’d be surprised how little changes when you’re my age. I just have way more money and time to enjoy those things now. I’m only 55. I’m not dead. I’m also not a “granny”, but even if I was, I’d probably still like all of those things.

Ageism isn’t cute, love. And I sure don’t ever see people telling men they shouldn’t go to football games or have their little “fantasy football leagues” or wear their favorite player’s merch. For every comment you guys like to say is misogynistic (but isn’t), this is one that really reeks of it.

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in February 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #59 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis/Harry -

🩷 with venom on your tongue by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze

(E, 91k, enemies to lovers) a boarding school AU where Harry and Louis are academic rivals until they realize they’re more similar than they thought

🩷 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 60k, superpowers) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

🩷 through walls of trees by @ineverateakiwi

(T, 41k, fantasy) Elesdon is a country divided into five kingdoms and had long been considered peaceful. After a coup in the heart of the country, Lady Sulia ascended to the throne and imprisoned the four courts, stripping them of their powers. With the exception of King Louis Tomlinson, who submitted to her favors.

🩷 Get Out Of My Head (and I'll get out of yours) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter

(E, 29k, exes) “You really that desperate, are you?” Despite it being a shitty thing to say, Harry didn’t mind too much, as the bitterness in Louis’ tone sounded like music to Harry’s ears. Harry was winning tonight. “Can’t find anyone new to be interested in you, so you try to hit on Zayn.”

🩷 this love is alive by @stylinsonwritingpalace

(E, 10k, writer Louis) When Louis's favorite fictional character, Harry Styles, comes to life, it's up to him to decide if he should stay.

🩷 Pretty and Preposterous by @brightlyharry

(NR, 5k, neighbors) Harry donates a copy of Pride and Prejudice to his little free library. He never expects what comes next.

🩷 In Jest by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 4k, soulmates) Louis, who smiles at Harry as he reclines in his chair. Louis, whose soulmark is visible thanks to his low-cut top. Louis, Harry’s soulmate, who seems to either be blissfully ignorant of that fact or maliciously ignoring it.

🩷 All This Time (I was Waiting for You) by @ohharold

(E, 4k, vampire/fae) Harry and Louis have always been destined for each other. Some time apart has Harry reminiscent of their first meeting.

🩷 Jealousy Looks Good On You, Baby by cigarettesbeforesex

(M, 4k, pwp) A flirtatious stranger wanted to entice Louis by buying him a drink from the bar. The handsome 29-year-old tavern manager with curly hair, who Louis (often) flirts with, is currently working on shift...Poor Curly, because he's the one that has to deliver the drink to him.

🩷 the "Falling" series by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(T, 4k, exes to lovers) Harry looks like he wants to say something but thinks better of it, and just nods, putting the CD in a box that’s filled with all kinds of knick knacks from their bedroom. Or, no. Louis supposes it is his bedroom now. Or will be, after today.

🩷 spring in your eyes by @nouies

(NR, 3k, fake relationship) “Just Go with It” inspired AU where plastic surgeon Harry pretends to be married to his assistant Louis to avoid unwanted attention.

🩷 Dirty Diana by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(E, 3k, epistolary) In the month leading up to his 30th birthday, Harry writes to his confidante Diana every day, sharing his fantasies about Louis.

🩷 From the Dining Table by @littleroverlouis

(E, 3k, established relationship) Harry's thirtieth birthday hasn't gone as expected. Things start looking up from the dining table.

🩷 You Could Give That Aspirin the Headache of Its Life by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(M, 3k, exes) the one where Louis is a football player who gets stuck on a flight with his ex-boyfriend Harry. The universe might be conspiring against him, or is it?

🩷 What’s in a Name by @hellolovers13

(T, 2k, soulmates au) Louis had always known Harry was his soulmate. The name on his arm disagreed. But what did his soulmark know about true love anyway.

🩷 miles away from seeing you by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(T, 1k, social media) Harry is in his final year studying marine biology, and is doing an international exchange at the University of Auckland. His boyfriend Louis stays behind in England, but they keep in touch regularly through texts, snapchats, video calls, and more.

- Rare Pairs -

🩷 Can You Feel Where the Wind Is by @fallinglikethis

(M, 3k, Zayn/Liam) He remembers arguing that he had no real power over anything, so no one would care about him, let alone try to hurt him. But that assessment had proven to be untrue today.

🩷 Skin on My Skin by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

(E, 2k, Zayn/Liam) Let me touch you where you like it Let me do it for ya

🩷 Stray by @haztobegood

(E, 1k, Zayn/Harry, Harry/Louis) Finally, Louis catches a glimpse of familiar curls weaving through the crowd. The man’s arm is firm around Harry’s waist until they stop in front of the booth. “I found this stray wandering around. I believe he’s yours.”

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Try Me Part 3/6

Summary - A six part series where reader is a very passionate football player and Ruben is her new and equally passionate football coach. However, the two of them can't seem to get along.

Enjoy!

Ruben led the team out of the summer cup group stage on top, with zero losses, collecting every single point avaliable. Entering the knock off stages he trained the team accordingly, making you work as if victory was inevitably yours. He kept his promise too. You were never benched for something irrational again, like your bad attitude towards him. Maybe because your attitude towards Ruben changed completely during the course of the summer. In fact, you found it hard to even look him in the eyes these days. At least without getting caught slipping. Your gaze usually faltered to the center of his tracksuit, imagining what lay beneath. A dinosaur, a dragon, a beast?

Whatever he called it, it had you biting the corner of your lip and holding your stomach to mend the gut wrenching feeling that followed your sinful thoughts.

"Y/N?"

Sarah, your teammate, had you snap out of your locker room fantasies.

"Huh?"

"Ruben wants you."

You had been avoiding one on one's with him for this exact reason, for the discomfort in your gut whenever he met your eye. What if he caught you staring? Staring at his...his...giant dinosaur."

"My what?"

Ruben stood waiting for you on the field, a fooball tucked underneath his arm.

"Huh?"

You hadn't noticed your feet carrying you out of the locker room and onto the pitch. One second you were there, the next you were standing before Ruben, who looked down on you with a crooked smile on his lips.

"You said something about my giant dinosaur?"

"No, I didn't." Instat heat warmed your cheeks.

"I know what I heard." He chuckled.

"Yes well..." You cleard your throat. "You did hear me say giant dinosaur, yes. But I wasn't talking about you."

"No?"

"Of course not. What I said was that giant dinosaurs are my favorite animals."

"Okay..." He frowned. "Good to know."

You rolled your eyes. "Sarah said you wanted me?"

"Yes, I did." He dropped the ball to the ground near his feet. "I thought we could practice some drills. I've told all the girls I have time for one on one's after every practice session and so far everyone has come to me for some kind of advice, everyone accept you."

"Oh."

Ruben eyes searched your face. The lump in your stomach returned.

"I thought I made it clear that you can come to me for anything. Our early clash this summer is past us, no?"

"Yes, absolutely. " You were quick to nod, a bit guilty that Ruben thought that you still held a grudge against him. " I just thought that...that maybe i didn't need it." You lied.

He frowned. "Well that's stupid."

"What did you call me?"

"I said it's stupid of you to think that you're beyond needing help. Everyone needs a little extra help sometimes."

"Well I don't." You hissed.

"Well I'm telling you that you do."

You were brought back by his resilience, your chest heaving up and down with the sudden fright it had given you.

"I'm sorry."  He ran a quick hand through his hair, collecting himself.  "I just think that you'd be better off with a few tips, that's all."

You nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

You let him lead you onto the pitch, stopping before the small goals that the team only used for training. Ruben separated you from one of them by position himself between it.

"Now, try and get past me." He passed you the ball.

"Easy." You chuckled.

Although you were quicker, Ruben's frame was  bigger, tremendously bigger.

"Fuck Ruben." His shoulder knocked against yours, tripping you to the ground. "What you do that for?"

He stretched out a hand, helping you back up.

"Because..." He said, dusting off your back. "I'm going to teach you how to properly get through a defender.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Now come at me again. This time try and avoid coming too close."

"Fine."

You had another go, however the same thing happened, Ruben, tripping you to the ground, this time with a swipe of his feet.

"For fucksakes!"

You slapped away his helping hand, getting up from the ground yourself.

"Quit looking at your feet." He directed. "Your eyes are giving away where you're going to go. Look your opponent dead in the eye. That will throw them off."

"Okay, just give me a sec." You needed to catch a breath. "You know I'm a girl right? Not one of your mates frim the pub."

He chuckled. "I don't go to the pub. Now try again. "

You did what you were told, but this time it was personal. You dribbled the ball past his feet, all whilst keeping your distance. Just as Ruben was about to have a go at your legs you lifted your gaze, looking him dead in the eye. He smirked, you smirked and without his predicton you sent the ball between his feet and into the corner of the small goal.

"Yes!" You said, celebrating the goal with a set of cartwheels.

"You're a fast learner." Ruben stood with the ball tucked underneath his arm again, waiting for you to finish your celebrations.

"Thanks, I know."

He shook his head, hiding his satisfied smile.

"Shall we go again?"

"Nah, I think we're done for the day."

"Ahhh, what happened Ruben?" You teased. "Did my nutmeg twist your legs?"

"Actually, yes."

You frowned as Ruben looked to be limping, eventually setting himself down on the grass.

"Oh my god, Ruben!"

Quickly, you were by his side, checking on the leg he held pressed to the ground.

"It's my knee." He said,  through clenched teeth.

"Your knee injury, it's still bothering you?"

"Yeah." He groaned. "I guess I overestimated my abilities."

"Let me see."

He was brought back to rest on his elbows, allowing you to inspect his knee. It didn't look swollen or anything, but wrapping it up in a bandage would be the best thing to do. "We have some leg wraps in the locker room." You stood, offering Ruben your hand. He declined.

"I'm good here for now. Just got to catch my breath a little."

"It hurts that much?" You knelt down again, watching his eyes squint in pain.

"It will blow over." He grunted.

"Ruben, I'm so sorr..."

"It's not your fault." He waved. "I should have known that you wouldn't go easy on me."

Your smile was weak, a wave of guilt washing over you.

"Hey?" Ruben noticed this and went to pinch your cheek.

His sudden action made you flinch, but then you relaxed seeing him smiling up at you, a warm and handsome smile.

"Dinosaurs are reptiles you know?"

"Huh?"

You were so mesmerized by the color of his eyes, deep brown, that his question almost blew past you.

"Dinosaurs? Your favorite animals?" He said.

"Oh, right."

"Yeah, their actually reptiles." He said, perhaps to distract you from how guilty you felt about his leg. Either way it worked.

"Reptiles are animals, no?"

"No, reptiles are reptiles."

You shook your head. He was as stubborn as you, perhaps even more so.

"My favorite animals are dogs." He said. You like that he continued distracting you, even though you didn't ask him to. It was hard for you seeing him like this, seeing him hurt.

"Do you have any?" You moved your hand to rest on his thigh. It was warm underneath the palm of your hand.

"Two actually." His body shifted a little, but you never thought that it was because the position of your hand made him feel uncomfortable.

"They're in Portugal though, with my parents."

"Why did you leave?"

"My dogs?"

"No, Portugal."

"I told you. To keep my uncle company after the death of my aunt."

Somthing in the way he said it made you believe that this wasn't all there was to it, however, if he wanted to tell you he would have.

"You know you're very talented, Y/N."

"Thanks." You muttered, heart pounding in your chest.

"Any club in the country would be glad to have you."

"You think so?"

"My uncles says your situation at home is limiting you though. He says you wouldn't leave your little sister behind."

"Not when she still needs me, no." You drew a quick breath to mend the sudden irritation of your eyes.

Ruben held your gaze, unsure of who he had sitting before him. "Your sister..." He said, drawing out the sentance with a quick wipe of his mouth. "She'll always need you, you know?"

You felt it, how his thumb stroked the top of your hand. It had gone unnoticed, how his hand had krept closer to yours that still rested on his thigh. Now however, you felt it, his touch.

"Your football career on the other had, won't be up for grabs forever. "

"What are you saying, that I should bale on my sister, move to London and play for a team like Chelsea?"

He shrugged.

You frowned. "Then you don't know the first thing about me."

You stood, pulling your hand away from his thigh. Ruben still watched you from where he lay on the ground. You sighed, stretching out a hand to help him to his feet. He leaned on you for support, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. The smell of him invaded your nostrils. He smelled of grass and aftershave. A warm smell, a homily smell.

You walked across the pitch together, his hip attached to your hip. And for the first time in his presences, since receiving the explicit picture of his dinasaur, you didn’t think about the size of it, or how the thought of it made you feel. Instead you thought about the man attached to it and how he made you feel. Ruben made you feel good. Ruben made you feel safe.

Tagslist:

@kathb59

@alexisquinnlee-bc

@husherstan

[saltofmercury]

Horangi

Summary: You meet Horangi

A/N: This was supposed to be in response to that GIF I've been wet over the past weekend but instead I wrote this shit?

"Horangi"

It was such a long week. Never ending emails, traffic, and meetings you had been a part of. Rain had been plummeting down all week. This made you upset. What should’ve been a 15 minute drive became a 30 minute drive to work. The rain caused fear among other drivers. You enjoyed the rain at home, at peace, not gliding in the wetness of outside. Where you could stay dry, and admire how the water fell from the sky.

Your car approached the house at the top of the hill, his driveway collecting water, and excitedly pouring down the curb of the sidewalk. His window to the living room had the curtains pulled back, the candles you had lit this morning still on. Everything else was blurred due to the water. 

Setting the car in park, you grabbed the umbrella in your backseat, your work backpack, and began to trudge up the driveway to his house. Cold wind hit, you fumbled with the keys, the water still spraying up above– down towards your umbrella, causing your backpack to slide off your shoulder. You dropped the keys in front of you, where the welcome mat had been thoroughly soaked with water. Fingers squished down on the mat, you shoved up the keys swiftly into the lock, and pushed yourself in. 

Small chatter and laughter down the hall was cut short. You stepped in the house, the smell of lavender – your candles– hit you. Hearing his footsteps pick up as you set down the backpack near the door.

“Babe?” The door in the hallway opened, a figure walked, (ran) towards you. Hands smothered your face and brought you close. His body was warm, his fingers soft around your cheeks, as his tongue hungrily opened your mouth.

You moaned a bit into the kiss. It was your favorite welcome home.

“Is it over? The week is finally over?” König mumbled into your mouth in-between kisses. You nodded, eyes closed, you breathed him in, god he was so lucky he stayed home. He was worried after seeing a car accident on Tuesday that you might need to be driven to work, you rejected his offers feeling bad that he could be leaving soon at any moment, allowing him to stay home. 

He grabbed at your backpack and hung it up on a rack, followed by your drenched raincoat. You always seemed to make things complicated.

“Why didn’t you just park in the driveway? Or even the garage? I could’ve moved my gym weights..” Looking over at your exhausted face, he felt bad that he could’ve done one thing that just made your day easier. 

“It’s okay,” you hated feeling like you were prying yourself into his life or house. It was his house, with some small additions of you scattered everywhere. It was never “our” home, probably because you felt like maybe being attached to someone with a job so insane like his would be hard for you, or maybe because he never really made an attempt to call himself yours.

“So good news,” he began, leading you to the couch. He took over the side he usually lay on, and pulled you on top of him.

“MY fantasy football team is winning!” Peering up at him, you rolled your eyes and laughed. 

“Oh are they?” 

“Yes, you know, it took forever for Horangi to really grasp football, but my god the man is a genius at picking players.”

You side eye him, still unable to comprehend the whole concept of a fake league. Shit, the whole idea of football was still hard to understand. You tried your hardest to understand it the many MANY times you sat with him on Sunday’s, as he explained it to you, his patience never thinning out over the same questions you asked.

For you, it was much more fun to see him. The way he admired the players walking in, how they ran out onto the field, the passes and plays König called before the refs, or would call and then a ref would call something different.

“OFFSIDES?” he said as he stood up in disbelief. Hands both on his hips, as he trudged up and down the living room. “It’s stupid call schatz, very very stupid.” As his open hand waved in the air.

You climbed up off of him, walking over to the fridge to grab a drink.

“Horangi and you still meeting up tonight?”

“Of course, we have our weekly meeting for Sunday’s game.”

Horangi and König always met up a couple times online to discuss fantasy leagues or to play games. You busied yourself doing laundry, catching up on shows, or being on your phone knowing he was immersed with his long time friend.

There was very little you knew of Horangi. You knew he was on the team with König, they were instant friends like König said. Horangi just had his back. He was a very loyal man to König. 

You sometimes saw him online, but never heard his voice. When you brought König a snack or water during his time in his game room, Horangi would mention things to König through the headset that would make him blush, then telling him to shut up. You figured it was about you, so you just waved politely and Horangi would wiggle his eyebrows and twiddle his fingers.

You tried to stop yourself from asking, but it was too late.

“How come, I’ve never met Horangi?”

König, pausing his game on his phone, looked over at you and walked over.

“You’ve met Horangi plenty of times,” he began.

“I’ve only really waved at him König, I don’t think he knows my name.”

“Of course he knows your name, I told him.” He was leaning against the kitchen island, his fingers tracing the edge of it. He looked at you, then confessed, with pink hues on his cheeks –

“I tell him a lot about you actually,”

You chewed on your lip, feeling a little better he brought this up, but you weren't satiated.

“Do you? I do feel that’s different than meeting a person.”

“I guess I didn’t really think about it,” he spoke quietly, a little ashamed and sad that he hadn’t properly introduced you two. The two of you were significant in his life, apart from his family back home. He did wonder why the thought never crossed his mind.

“Okay,” he said again, “Horangi is going on a small vacation next month, however he said he would stop by to see me, you guys can meet then.”

You beamed, “wait really, just like that? I thought I would at least hear his voice on the computer first,”

König rolled his eyes and stood up, “I give you so much, and you want so little schatz,” he smiled, pinching his index and thumb together. “We can start there.”

*

The month had rolled by, before you knew it, the day had come that Horangi was staying a couple days in the city you guys were in. König suggested having dinner at his house.

You chewed on your thumbnail, standing in front of your side of the closet, unsure of what to wear. God, have you ever been more nervous just to meet a friend?

König had stepped out of the shower, towel draped around his bottom half, as he dried his hair with another. 

“You okay?” he said, his skin still pink from the hot shower.

“Yes,” you mumbled, sure that you were going to get distracted if you stared to your right. You had a lot of thoughts bubbling in your head, the less distractions the better.

He came up behind you, he still smelled of sandalwood and vanilla, smiling at you in the mirror. 

“Are you… getting nervous?” he grinned so widely. The whites of his teeth showed, one corner of his mouth curved.

“Um, maybe a little,”

“What happened to–’I want to meet your friends’?” He teased you. 

He wasn’t one to talk, especially when he smelled like your body wash straight from the shower.

“Well, there used to be one mercenary under this roof, now it's two...” you caught his eyesight in the mirror, he laughed.

“Guess you better watch what you say then?” He smirked, grabbed your chin and tilted your head towards his.

You both finished getting ready, as you went down to check on the dinner you had been preparing. 

The doorbell rang, and König went out to grab it. He smiled his way to the door, excitement jumping inside him.

The door opened, and you heard Horangi’s voice. “Shit man, very nice place you got here.” König had reached out towards him, then picked him up. Cracking his back, eliciting a gruff sound from Horangi.

“Fuck! you could’ve warned me you damn gorilla!” He spoke, as König laughed out loud.

“Come in!” He was so happy, his voice had changed a bit.

You were still in the kitchen nervously folding the dish towels when you heard the small exchange from them in the hallway.

“So you’ve got a yeonin huh? That’s what's been keeping you from missions?”

König spoke in German, you were unable to understand what he replied to him. Once they had rounded their way to the kitchen, Horangi had been smiling at the response König gave him.

You made the first move toward them,

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you.” mentally embarrassed for how your voice raised a little higher.

“Hiya, nice to meet you,” he held his hand out. He was such a gentleman, he was smaller than König, but taller than you. He was dressed in all black, with some light orange tennis shoes. His hair was combed back neatly, and he had his dog tags sparkling around his neck. He instantly gave you the impression of the son of a mobster, the way his face was so serious, but looked so young.

König eyed you looking at Horangi up and down, smiling at how you were taken back on meeting someone from his world. He could see in your eyes how you were filled with questions, your eyes taking in his friend.

“.. schatz?” he said quietly, and Horangi laughed. “What's for dinner?”

*

Horangi was a drinker, as König had mentioned, but perhaps out of politeness, he strayed back from drinking too much. You on the other hand had already felt tipsy. König watched you as you slowly became intoxicated, liquid courage replacing the nerves you had.

Horangi had been narrating his latest mission, a mission you discovered König did not accept, making it difficult for Horangi to find a partner he trusted.

“Man,” he shook his head, sipping on the red wine you served him an hour ago. “Nobody has my back out there like you do.” He pointed his finger at König. He had told them that Hutch was explaining to them how to enter the house they needed to get into, his new partner for this job, Roz, was making it difficult for them to get into.

“Fuckin Roz,” König exclaimed, “I swear she’s so reckless, blowing shit up then blaming her teammate for the mess…” “You remember the mission in South America?”

‘I might have blown up 3 cars,” they both said at the same time, impersonating her.

Horangi’s eyes had filled with sadness, clearing missing his partner in the field. He looked at you, then that feeling went away. It sort of made him happy König was not out there.

Horangi had always teased König “swear you and I are going to end up together,” when they stayed up until dawn on missions. König would laugh and tell him “who’s the wife –you or me?” Horangi laughed harder saying “it's me, I am the wife, because you’re so crazy out there, and that leaves me nervous.” Both of them laughed at each other.

It was a genuine friendship, they had each other’s backs, and told each other everything.

He would tell Horangi about the bullies at school, then how he enlisted out of fear of being ridiculed like this his entire life, then enjoyed the dirty work of it all, even leaving the military to join KorTac where the dirty work wasn’t looked down upon. 

Horangi loved the guy, but he knew there was always some emptiness to König though, like he longed for a partner, but couldn’t put himself out there due to his job, or social anxiety.

He looked at you, how your body positioned itself near König, how your hand rubbed König’s leg, how König snuck glances at you every couple of minutes, or smiled at you when you spoke.

He asked,

“How’d you two meet?” then sipped his wine again. 

Your eyes widened, and you blushed, “At the grocery store.”

“Ran into me with your cart…” König corrected you. “I was shopping for produce late at night, remember Horangi, and that night someone hit me with their cart!”

“As if someone could knock you down.” you answered back, clearly never living down how you two first met. 

“So this is shopping cart person?” Horangi had said, then his eyes widened at how bad that sounded, quickly explaining himself.

“König uh, told me about someone staring at him in the produce section, is what I meant.”

You quickly changed the subject, avoiding his comment.

“What’s König like? How did you guys meet?”

Horangi raised an eyebrow at you, then looked at König for an OK.

“You ever know about the time we were ambushed? In Russia?” Horangi leaned back into his chair. He begins telling the story, then pausing to look at König,

“This psycho runs out of the god damn building, throws a grenade at the group, while diving to stab one of their people.”

You looked shocked, this was an extent of what you knew König to be inside the four walls of his home. 

“One time I tell you, our building we were in had been falling apart, this guy Mr. Jason Bourne, decides to run off and jump onto the other building, holding a shotgun.”

König sheepishly replied “It was faster to capture the enemy this way.”

“And he fuckin’ makes it!” “Of course with my help shootin’ people down.”

You leaned into the table, waiting for more from Horangi.

Horangi, lured you in. “Remember when we got that bastard from the human trafficking ring?”

König’s smile had faded, a bit unsure if you were going to be okay with what followed.

“So this piece of shit guy, we were after for like months. Kept finding his hostages, setting them free, but couldn't find the asshole. König finds the piece of shit hiding in an abandoned barn.”

“He was shaking, I was tired of playing cat and mouse.” König said seriously.

“All I hear in the coms is crying, begging, to please let him go.” “Our orders were to bring in dead or alive.”

Horangi looked at you, your head cocked to the side, inviting him to continue. 

“By the time I got there, König had the guys guts spilling out of him.” 

You gasped, making eye contact with König. Both of them laughed, maliciously and playfully. 

“I’m just fucking with you, we brought the guy in, he’s serving time in hell.”

König looked at Horangi, thankful he had slightly changed the ending, and then at you, unsure if you were ready for the truth

“Let’s head outside. I’m sweating..”

*

Horangi continued sharing stories of them out of the field, König interjecting a couple times to tell him “that’s not how I remembered it exactly,” then retelling the story exactly how it was.

You weren’t sure if you were surprised by him or scared, König was so different from what you were used to. The Sunday football guy, the man who teased you and embarrassed you in public, or who had whispered his childhood past to you in the late hours of the night. You just couldn’t believe this was him outside of your bubble together. 

König excused himself to go to the bathroom. Horangi put out his cigarette and came over to you.

“You.. uh… not bothered by the comment earlier right?”

You blushed, “No not at all, just um, curious as to what he is outside of here.”

Horangi nodded his head, looking like he was going to miss an opportunity, he spoke,

“I’m just glad you make him happy.. I’m glad he found his partner.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but you felt sad. König was your person, and as much as he didn’t say it, the evidence was clear. “I love this guy, and I hope you love him the way I do.”

König came out, seeing how Horangi and your knees touched. He hoped Horangi didn’t try to pull his “tiger moves” on you. 

“Come here schatz,” he sat next to you, bringing your couch blanket, “I’ll start a bonfire.”

Horangi looked at you and smiled, his friend was really into you.

“Becareful with this guy… fuckin' pyromanic. Have I told you about how he set a jungle on fire?”

[shuttershocky]

Out of all the curses of modern gaming, it's season passes / battlepasses that saddens me the most, because what I am fairly sure is its origin is really close to my heart.

One of the most notable things about Dota 2 is that (even now) it's the only MOBA (games like League of Legends, Heroes of Newerth, etc) on the market where every single one of its playable characters was immediately free for the player, no money or grind required, unthinkable for a free to play game. That means a player completely new to the game was actually on even footing access-wise to players with thousands of hours: everyone had access to the same cast, there were no upgrades you could get to amplify your favorites before a match (unlike the rune system League had back then, though I hear that's gone now), nothing. You were theoretically on even footing with everyone at all times, your only difference being your experience.

In its early years, Dota 2 didn't even have lootboxes for its cosmetic microtransactions yet (even when its sister game Team Fortress 2 did, and it does now). You browsed through the online store and paid 2.5 dollars to give your favorite character a cowboy hat.

All in all, there was very little way the game was actually making any money. The only reason it was even designed that way is because the original DotA was a Warcraft 3 mod faithfully updated for years with the free labor of community modders. When the lead was hired by Valve to make Dota 2, they insisted complete parity between the two versions: they would have the same updates, no gameplay can be locked behind monetization, Dota 2 should be able to run on crappy computers, etc.

Now Dota 2 has an annual tournament called The International, famous for holding the single largest prizepool in the history of Esports (back then, 1 million dollars), with the money contributed by Valve. However, they knew pumping millions of dollars into the tournament every year on a game that was not monetizing its playerbase was a great way to go bankrupt eventually, even if at the time Dota 2 was acting as a gateway for many people in third world countries (where DotA remained supremely popular) to get into Steam.

So for the third International in 2013, Valve had an idea that would plague live service games for the rest of time.

They called it The International Compendium, a way for the community to support the pro scene. You paid 20 dollars (or was it 30? I no longer remember) to get a whole set of missions to unlock exclusive cosmetics, you could make predictions for how the tournament would go and if you were right your compendium levelled up even further, you could play Fantasy Dota the way people do Fantasy Football (I still have no idea how that works) and collect cards of your favorite players then watch as their performance in the tournament gave you points, and 25% of all sales went straight to The International 3's prizepool.

People loved it. Dota 2 didn't charge you for anything but hats that could also be gained by random drops from playing anyway, so the playerbase at the time saw it as a fair deal, and besides, 25% of it went back to "fostering the community".

They sold like gangbusters. The tournament's final prizepool was $2,874,380, with 1.6 million of that being contributed by Valve.This meant that the 25% sales added by the community totaled $1,274,380, so if you multiplied by 4 to get the money the TI3 Compendium made, you had almost 5.1 million dollars, for what was the earliest battlepass in PC gaming.

So of course, everyone else followed suit.

10 years later and everyone's doing a battlepass, even games that aren't free to play. It's format of a virtual passport that levels up as you complete its task with rewards for every level gained is one of the most psychologically effective player engagement systems, keeping players hooked on a game by constantly giving them a checklist to work on. World of Warcraft perfected the skinner box design for grinding to keep players hooked, but Valve introduced an idea that could be used by any game, in any genre, of any size.

And it fucking sucks dude. This was originally designed for a game that charged you nothing. No grind, no unlocks, no free rotation because everyone is free, no daily mission checklist to keep you hooked because it was supremely confident you were playing for the love of the gameplay (and even now 10 years later where Dota 2 has caught up with the rest of the world in providing dailies, I still ignore them because I only play for the love of the game), it felt fair.

It wasn't attempting to seize all my time, it wasn't disruptive to normal gameplay, it was on a game that charged nothing, you could ignore it completely if you didn't care for the pro scene, back then the idea felt reasonable.

And now for most online games that don't feature some kind of battlepass system, I see complaints that the game does not give them a reason to play. Players NEED this checklist now, because there are other games they can play that give in-game rewards by accomplishing their checklists. You cannot make a game whose ONLY engagement system is an enjoyable core loop anymore, you will simply be buried if you don't keep up.

I always knew something like gacha was coming and it was going to be a thing that affected the industry. When I was still studying around 2012 and attended all these talks from the local game industry, the ideas always centered around monetization, and designing games to hook whales into spending, discussion around designing a core loop was how to make a player spend money in order to stay inside that core loop they were engaged in rather than creating a core loop that would impress a game designer. Mobile games back then were beginning to truly emerge as the new goldmine that the AAA industry ignored until even Call of Duty was threatened by the sheer profits made from the casual space. Even if nobody mentioned gachapon/trading cards /whatever, it was obvious the future of game design was towards monetizing addiction.

Battlepasses though, that one hurts. I really didn't see it taking over live service games the way it did. I remember seeing it crop up in other games and going "Why are they making their own compendium, they don't have a tournament to base it around?"

oof

[kiltongrammarwriter94]

The Soccer Star and the Bookworm (Cc Walker Headcannons)

Pairing: Cc Walker x fem nerd Reader

Authors note: I have so many ideas in my head for my favorite Football Girlie, but not enough time to write them all down as detailed and perfect as I would like 🤣 at the moment I am currently working on many AGGGTM ficts, so this for the anon who specifically requested the Cc Walker fic in my inbox. I am still working on your request, but I felt bad for not doing anything for Cc in a good while. So I hope this holds you till the Cc Walker fic is released. 🫶

CC Walker, the soccer prodigy, and you, the quiet bookworm, couldn’t be more different. She’s all about goals and adrenaline, while you’re lost in the pages of your favorite novels, scholarly in a way that makes CC’s interest peak. You meet at the school library, where she stumbles upon you engrossed in a thick fantasy novel. She’s intrigued by your passion for words, and you’re fascinated by her athletic prowess.

CC starts leaving little notes in your books, encouraging you to keep reading. She even recommends soccer-themed novels, which you find endearing.

Once CC realizes how much you mean to her, she becomes fiercely protective. Your not a nerd by definition, you don’t have the attributes of the stereotype “nerd” you don’t have near sighted glasses or braces the size of Texas, and even if you did Cc wouldn’t care. But you were smart, the kind of smart that was clever and would often involve others to be envious of you. When bullies target you for being a nerd, CC steps in. Her glare alone is enough to send them scurrying. She’s not afraid to use her soccer skills to defend you either—she once kicked a soccer ball right into a bully’s backpack!

She insists on walking you home after school, even though your house is in the opposite direction. “Safety first,” she says, taking your hand in hers and you secretly love it.

CC may be a sports star, but she’s also surprisingly diligent when it comes to helping you study. She sits with you at the library, quizzing you on history dates and scientific theories. She loves watching your eyebrows crease and your lips move in concentration.

She’s patient, explaining concepts with soccer analogies. “Think of electrons as players passing the ball,” she says, and suddenly, chemistry makes sense.

When you’re exhausted, she insists on taking you out for ice cream. She knows the best flavors for stress relief.

CC secretly loves your nerdy quirks. She finds your enthusiasm for trivia nights adorable, and she’s genuinely interested in your latest coding project.

She surprises you with tickets to a soccer game, and you surprise her with a rare first-edition book. It’s a beautiful balance of interests.

CC’s friends tease her about her “nerdy girlfriend,” but she just grins and says, “she’s my nerdy girl”.

CC’s definitely one for after school makeouts. What can she say is a teenage girl after all. She loves hovering over you, kissing your lips with a feverish hunger. CC’s soft, yet firm in the way she holds you close, her tongue unforgiving in the way she traces the soft skin of your neck, she enjoys watching you squirm. “Sensitive already sweet girl?” She grins, cobalt eyes dark, lips red from your cherry lipgloss. “Don’t worry” she coos soft in your ear, “I promise I’ll be soft”. You don’t want her to be soft. Not really. (Had to thrown in a steamy thought…I had to)

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine being Archie Andrews brother and casually admitting to Hiram Lodge that you like watching him work out at the gym.

You wiped the sweat off of your forehead while continuing to work on the bike, pedals rotating with high tension. The bike wasn’t your favorite bit of equipment in this gym, it did afford you the best view of Hiram Lodge.

The older man was definitely the most fit person inside of this gym. Your brother was here, working on the weights, putting in the long hours to be the best football player that Riverdale had ever seen, but that wasn’t the kind of strength that Hiram had. No, Hiram had a real man’s sort of strength, the kind that came from years of fine-tuning, of real work, not just a set of weights.

“Shit,” You muttered, realizing that you weren’t able to concentrate like this. Hiram was just making you feel too damn hot, you might actually overheat on this thing.

He was just over there - doing push ups, watching himself in the mirror. Watching his own figure as he moved up and down with ease in a way that a military cadet could only dream of.

Slowing your roll to a stop, you patted your forehead with the towel around your neck and decided fuck it, you were just going to get closer. Try to see the muscle strain, if there was any, to help fuel your fantasies later that night. As casually as you could muster, you walked in that direction and pretended to be looking at one of the machines.

“Mr. Andrews,” Hiram said, launching up into a burmpee, jumping from the ground as the final exercise of his routine. You’d seen it end often enough.

“Mr. Lodge,” You greeted in return with a nod and a smile. Though your brother had problems with the Lodge, you avoided all of those issues, figuring you were too old to get messed up in all of that teenage dating petty bullshit. No, your smile yowards Hiram was a hundred percent real, as was the way that your eyes wandered down his shirtless body to the gym shorts and then back up.

“Thinking of using the chest press?” Hiram asked, picking up his water bottle and taking a drink. Oh, to be the droplets that were dripping from his lips. You never felt so thirsty.

“Hmm?” You questioned, nd then realized that’s what you were pretending to look at. “No, no, mostly just came around to watch you,” You admitted, feeling bold. He didn’t look surprised at your admission. He looked like he had been expecting it. Had you really been so obvious? That wasn’t really a question worth asking at this point.

“I see,” He said, offering you his water bottle. You took it, pleased to be able to drink from the same place that he had. “You should come to my private gym sometime. The equipment is better. And there’s a lot more mirrors. You can watch every angle.”

“Maybe I will,” You shot back, quickly, not missing the chance. “Why do you come out here if you have a private gym?”

“I like to watch too.”

Requested by: Anonymous

[leonbastralle]

GAMES I PLAYED IN 2023 - FIRST HALF-ISH

i've been seeing a lot of this in gif form but i do not have the energy or video material and also i'm late but i rly wanted to make a post where i say a lil bit abt all the games i played and how i liked them!

pokemon platinum, soulsilver, white, white 2, y, sun, alpha sapphire & shield: i started a big mainline pokemon marathon in 2022 but most of it fell on 2023. it was a lovely time tbh and i miss it! platinum was a bit too grindy (but we love cynthia) and soulsilver traumatised me for glitch reasons. my favorites out of this lineup were definitely gen 5 in terms of storyline and pokemon selection, the later ones were a bit too handholdy and slow for my taste, and alpha sapphire could not compete w the og emerald which is my favorite pokemon game of all time. i did rly love shield though but that's bc i'm a) a football girl and b) i played it on my wife's sofa askfjhkasjf. anyway music is bangers all around and i do love The Concept of pokemon so i didn't hate any of them.

lonely people potion shop: this was an absolute surprise indie gem that i found on my wife's itch.io in 2022 but i replayed it for her in 2023 so it counts. this game is a rly short very fruity visual novel where you make potions for people and chat with them. it's one of the most heartwarming and gentle games i've played, every character is so lovely and caring towards each other and also to you the player! 100% would recommend i cried a bit several times.

validate: i really wanted to love this game because a dating sim/visual novel/narrative fiction type game w a super diverse cast (in terms of backgrounds, body types, gender, sexuality, and mental health struggles) and such a lovely art style? sounds perfect! and it would be if the characters weren't so...unlikeable sjfhaksjfa. it eventually got so difficult for me to root for them and also kind of frustrating bc the routes overlap in a way that even if you get good outcomes in one route, you can still mess up the relationship in a different route (because you have routes for each of the characters) so i ended up not finishing it.

neo cab: another one i never finished but was rly intrigued by! another visual novel but choices matter type deal where you play as a taxi driver in a dystopian world where you're being replaced by self driving taxis. the mechanics and cast are really cool and if the storyline didn't stress me out so much i would've finished it by now but i definitely will one day!

coffee talk 1/2: barista simulator meets visual novel in an urban fantasy setting where you also kinda save the world one drink at a time! i loved the first one so so much and finally played it last year in preparation for the second one coming out that i'd been anxiously awaiting, it's so vibey and the characters and their storylines are so interesting and i loved seeing their heartfelt interactions! also the first game was giving such strong queer vibes but they kinda dropped the ball w that in the second game trying to backtrack on that. ruined the experience for me a little bit but still a very solid game w cool additions to the already great cast of the first game!

skyrim: not much to say about that one. my favorite classic walking simulator that i keep coming back to, still very much playable and so pretty even on the switch! unfortunately also incredibly broken so i can't finish the solstheim questlines kjsfhkajsfas fuck you todd howard

calico: wonky little game where you explore the world and also bake and own a café that you can fill with all sorts of animals from cats to snow foxes to capybaras because why the fuck not! absolutely delightful, 10/10

later alligator: lovely little puzzle game w great old timey detective vibes and a banger soundtrack where everyone is alligators. these characters are such great fun, i loved the writing and i loved learning about all of them and doing tasks for them! the minigames got a bit frustrating at times bc i was lacking the coordination skills or just general strategy and there are some completionist things i could never do because of that and the main character (the main guy you're doing things for, not the player character) can get on your nerves pretty quickly but otherwise a lovely game w a great twist in my opinion

strange horticulture: this one made it into my all time favorites too. you play as the owner of a supernatural plant shop in a place where A Lot of strange things are going on. it has a bunch of really cool mechanics like plant identification and a lot of map related puzzles to find new plants, secrets etc. the overarching story that gets revealed bit by bit from an unknown person's pov outside of the gameplay while related events are also happening in real time was so interesting, and there are a lot of cool choices you can make that lead to various more or less unsettling outcomes. the spooky vibe is SO good but at the same time it has a very calming homey feel AND YOU CAN PET THE CAT 10000/10

penko park: another absolute indie banger. probably something like a pokemon snap but the beasties look fucking stupid and kinda creepy and the lore is cursed as hell. throughout the game you explore the remains of a park that was built upon the abuse of all sorts of cute little creatures (and big creatures) and while you mostly try to take pictures of every weird looking fella in their different emotional states that you bring upon them in various ways, maybe there's something you can do to right the wrongs of the park founders! who knows! (also special shoutout because these are german devs and as a german, i am especially demanding when it comes to german games and this one knocked it out of the park) (haha the park get it)

[richincolor]

Jessica's 2023 Favorites

It's always so hard to pick my favorite books of the year -- there were so many! I read poignant graphic novels that made me sob, lighthearted adventures that made me think, and heartfelt romances that I couldn't stop telling people about. I've narrowed my favorite reads this year down to three -- and I imagine they might be on your list too! We'd love to hear what you loved reading this year and what you look forward to reading next year. Anyway, without further ado...

In Limbo by Deb JJ Lee A debut YA graphic memoir about a Korean-American girl's coming-of-age story—and a coming home story—set between a New Jersey suburb and Seoul, South Korea.

Deborah (Jung-Jin) Lee knows she's different. Ever since her family emigrated from South Korea to the United States, she's felt her Otherness. For a while, her English isn't perfect. None of her teachers can pronounce her Korean name. Her face and her eyes—especially her eyes—stand out. As the pressures of high school ramp up, friendships change and end, and everything gets harder. Even home isn't a safe place, as fights with her mom escalate. Deb is caught in a limbo, with nowhere to go, and her mental health plummets.

But Deb is resilient. She discovers art and self-care, and gradually begins to start recovering. And during a return trip to South Korea, she realizes something that changes her perspective on her family, her heritage, and herself.

This stunning debut graphic memoir features page after page of gorgeous, evocative art, perfect for Tillie Walden fans. It's a cross section of the Korean-American diaspora and mental health, a moving and powerful read in the vein of Hey, Kiddo and The Best We Could Do.

The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa El Diablo is in the details in this Latinx pirate fantasy starring a transmasculine nonbinary teen with a mission of revenge, redemption, and revolution.

On Mar León-de la Rosa's 16th birthday, el Diablo comes calling. Mar is a transmasculine nonbinary teen pirate hiding a magical ability to manipulate fire and ice. But their magic isn't enough to reverse a wicked bargain made by their father and now el Diablo has come to collect his payment: the soul of Mar's father and the entire crew of their ship.

When Mar is miraculously rescued by the sole remaining pirate crew in the Caribbean, el Diablo returns to give them a choice: give up your soul to save your father by the Harvest Moon or never see him again. The task is impossible--Mar refuses to make a bargain and there's no way their magic is any match for el Diablo. Then, Mar finds the most unlikely allies: Bas, an infuriatingly arrogant and handsome pirate -- and the captain's son; and Dami, a genderfluid demonio whose motives are never quite clear. For the first time in their life, Mar may have the courage to use their magic. It could be their only redemption -- or it could mean certain death.

Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute by Talia Hibbert Bradley Graeme is pretty much perfect. He's a star football player, manages his OCD well (enough), and comes out on top in all his classes . . . except the ones he shares with his ex-best friend, Celine.

Celine Bangura is conspiracy-theory-obsessed. Social media followers eat up her takes on everything from UFOs to holiday overconsumption--yet, she's still not cool enough for the popular kids' table. Which is why Brad abandoned her for the in-crowd years ago. (At least, that's how Celine sees it.)

These days, there's nothing between them other than petty insults and academic rivalry. So when Celine signs up for a survival course in the woods, she's surprised to find Brad right beside her.

Forced to work as a team for the chance to win a grand prize, these two teens must trudge through not just mud and dirt but their messy past. And as this adventure brings them closer together, they begin to remember the good bits of their history. But has too much time passed . . . or just enough to spark a whole new kind of relationship?

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Illustration by Ryan McAmis

+

Jodie Foster Answers the Proust Questionnaire

The two-time Oscar winner and star of “Nyad” and “True Detective: Night Country” on family, fantasy football, and fancy sheets.

BY JODIE FOSTER FEBRUARY 23, 2024 Vanity Fair

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Watching a great movie in the afternoon and then taking a long nap.”

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? “War. But also a world without sugar.”

What do you dislike most about your appearance? “My boring hair.”

Where would you like to live? “In a tree house just above the ocean, but with nice bougie sheets.”

What is your most treasured possession? “My box of Christmas ornaments.”

What is your greatest fear? “Naming my greatest fear, because then I’ll have to admit it, won’t I?”

Which living person do you most despise? “Any dictator scheming to end democracy.”

What words or phrases do you most overuse? “Howdy, wow, and fuck.”

What or who is the greatest love of your life? “My wife, Alex, and our sons, Charlie and Kit, of course.”

What is your most marked characteristic? “I will use any excuse for an over-the-top holiday celebration, whether the day is real or imagined.”

When and where were you happiest? “Watching my sons ski down a mountain for the first time.”

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? “We would all be rugged, self-sufficient, and capable. No one would complain or pick up their phones because…you know…chopping wood and stuff.”

Which talent would you most like to have? “Playing piano, so that everyone could gather around and sing their favorite songs together.”

What is your current state of mind? “Guiltily eyeing time alone to do absolutely nothing.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I would just be content with every moment as it is instead of gnashing my teeth trying to change things all the time.”

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? “The Fat Lady in Salinger’s ‘Franny and Zooey.’”

What is your favorite occupation? “Moving around all my players in fantasy football.”

Who are your heroes in real life? “Issa López, director of ‘True Detective: Night Country.’ She can do it all and be the first one on the dance floor.”

What do you most value in your friends? “Deep and complex thoughts delivered with a wicked sense of humor.”

Who are your favorite writers? “Toni Morrison, Raymond Carver, Mary Karr.”

What is your motto? “More milk, less moo.”

What are your favorite names? “Ginger, Bubba, Georgia, Bananas.”

How would you like to die? “Consciously, filled with curiosity and awe. Hopefully in front of a big picture window.”

[sandrockianblues]

Some of our loved gang annoying each other when bored head cannons? plsss?💕👀

Let me just cuddle up to you real quick to express my adoration for you anon💜💜💜✨

I’m assuming you meant the bandit boys again, if not, feel free to correct me and I’ll make another (This is kinda long so let’s hope it’s what you asked for😭😭)

Feel free to spam my inbox with more! I’m always willing to share my head canons!!!💜 or if you just wanna talk or say something

Bandit Gang Annoying Each Other:

💣Haru💣

He always tries to busy himself with work and planning ahead (bc someone’s got to) but there are times where he just can’t keep his head buried in his work anymore or he doesn’t feel motivated to study up on the shit he needs. So, he takes it out on the boys lovingly

-Andy> at first it was sorta dumb stuff just to tweak him like wetting small shredded pieces of discarded notes and ideas he had tossed aside, throwing them at the kid until it stuck. Other times it was a blank stare and unyielding until Andy would screech at him to stop because it was freaking him out. After he finds out the kid has developed a major crush on Jasmine? “There was this one time Jasmine and I-,” “I don’t wanna hear it.” “Yeah, ya do.” Plethora of stories that Andy both loves and hates to hear because he does not like Jasmine, dammit. It’s especially more annoying when Haru tells stories of a very young Jasmine saying she’ll grow up to marry Haru or Logan someday like any other kid would do.

-Logan> literally poor fucking guy. Cowboy prince bandit here cares about his appearance because let’s face it, he and everyone else knows he’s pretty. Not Fang pretty, but roguishly handsome and solid main male lead, handsome enough to be that NFL player you suddenly get into a team for despite not knowing how football may work coughs-. So he’s a little vain and tries to take care of his appearance. And Haru abuses that. Will catch him off guard saying he’s spotted a gray hair among his strands (mind you, Logan has a head of white hair) or that his eyes seem to be dulling all of a sudden? Then there’s times where Haru tells the most outlandish science shit that’s in no way true or plausible and Logan believes it for a good part of the day week because, well, it’s his friend that’s the brainiac. But then it hits at some point and Logan always gets so bent out of shape that he’s been fooled once more. They’re so friendly with one another that they can joke about even the harder topics- so, long story short, Haru likes to claim being Howlett’s favorite. You can imagine the angry cowboy face there. Logan comes for his ass (settle down LoHaru fans, let’s keep it PG-13 and save it for fanart and fanfic). IF LOGAN IS INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER>>> 11/10 likes to reference the start of their “interactions” (I.e. Logan watching the train the builder was on come in their first day- tho really, Haru just kinda puts it together and does the math/ after Water Tower explosion and their eyes met)- essentially, anything he can use to make it seem like they’re some star-crossed lovers or living out some dramatic romance fantasy. IF HARU IS INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER TOO>>> not entirely confident he can win their heart and affections against Logan, but it’s too fun to casually remark that the builder may prefer guys who aren’t tall as hell or that have a tanner complexion or dark hair and eyes- lmao not Logan trying to figure out how to properly tan or appear shorter or even willing to dye his hair.

🦸🏼‍♂️Andy🦸🏼‍♂️

He’s a kid and a smart one at that, but his attention span is so small at this age and he gets bored so easily. He worships Logan and Haru, idolizes them even. Being a bandit was essentially his dream. So, he mostly behaved. But it’s when Sandrock accepts their bandit boys back that he starts being a little shit (Andy, my child).

-Haru> this man unnerves Andy in a different way than his buddy does. Andy wholly believes that Haru could kill him and get away with it. But it doesn’t stop him. Andy likes to disorganize his notes so they’re not in order. Will sometimes leave feedback on random sticky notes to the most obscure shit and they’re all filled with critiques (some of which are valid and actually do annoy Haru Lmao). He once saved up all his money and bought a jelly jar that was actually filled with glitter that Vivi had. Took some of Haru’s notes and from what he could do, he made a glitter bomb (it was a Thursday and Jasmine was helping Heidi organize some things so he was lonely). The fortunate part to the end of that tale is that it was mostly plain glitter so like silver. The unfortunate part is that sometimes, if you pay attention, Haru fucking shimmers. This was very distressing to Mi-An once who has found this battered but readable cringey book about vampires, but that may have been the best day of Logan’s life who laughed so hard he wheezed and had some blood vessels burst in his face. IF HARU IS INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER>>> Andy will resort to basic elementary tactics and make kissy faces that are totally visible to not just Haru and the builder, but also everyone in the vicinity. He’ll sing that “kissing in a tree” song. Walks by the guy who is trying his best to be subtle about his feelings yet attempting to flirt and going like “oh dang, tell them how u really feel” and sometimes leaning against a railing watching them from above shouting in a monotone voice “OH SHIT, THAT SOME GOOD CHEMISTRY YOU GOT THERE”- Andy’s fuckin’ fast as hell, but if you wanna see him fly, wait until he pisses one of his bandit fathers off. Kid doesn’t even touch the ground when he’s running.

-Logan> you know that pic of Ben Affleck? Nvm, you know it, I don’t even need to describe it. You know it. Homie would put his little brother/son (depends on the day and how much he wishes to throttle the tween) on a flag pole by his raggedy little cape if he could sometimes. Logan is literally the true victim between the two of his friends/found family. But in their defense, it’s just too fucking easy to rile him up. Andy will still do dumb shit like steal his hat or dress up like him like he did for Bronco the Kid, posing as Logan the Bandit and nailing down his gun twirl (chill, it’s a water gun with no water bc Sandrock is dryer than my ex’s personality) and the dramatic swish of his cape. Literally the kid was born for LARPing or Comic Cons, maybe even acting, but the world missed out. Regardless, it is some good shit. Owen even lets him recreate Bandit Gang memories on stage sometimes because he thinks the kid is a blast when he’s all dressed up (he will actually start giving the kid a “1,2,3” count if he dresses up as Bronco again), much to Logan’s dismay. If you think that is bad enough, Andy actually has Logan’s signature down almost perfectly and will sit at a little table like it’s a lemonade stand selling autographed WANTED signs of the good looking bandit (much to Unsuur’s dismay) IF LOGAN IS INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER>>> Andy will abuse his height, his speed, and Logan’s patience. Homie will yeet himself into either Logan’s back or the builder’s and make them fall into each other as he takes off cackling and screaming about PDA. Now, Logan is a chill guy and recognizes it as both manipulation and a somewhat accident, but it’s the fact that this is the fifth time the cheeky bastard has schemed this week and at some point, the builder has to catch onto why Andy’s doing it to the two of them specifically. He WILL intentionally leave WANTED posters of Logan on their front door or workshop table or in their mailbox. No, please don’t ask Unsuur about this. He’s fucking done with the posters.

🤍Logan🤍

Logan was someone that felt like he had to grow up a little too fast to help his father deal with raising him alone and hunting monsters. His only reprieve from that maturity and the weight of the world on his shoulders was spending time with friends like Haru or Elsie or Jasmine, etc. There, the rascal like side of him poked out. Logan is the man of action and the one to carry out missions. He’s not big on planning, so, when there’s no mission to carry out and no action to be doing, he’s gonna have some fun.

-Andy> to the Logan simps out there, y’all better pray the builder and him have a daughter because Logan is much GENTLER and CAREFUL with girls (don’t think about the fight y’all have if you a girl). He will swoop down with far too much agility for a man his size and grab Andy by the ankles with one hand, standing upright and flipping the kid upside down in his hold. Isn’t above shaking him to see how much candy and stuff he nabs (literally no one cares and they just pretend to not see because it’s minimal shit) falls out. Or he ruffles his hair and messes it up completely. Sometimes, he’ll sit down with the kids (no chair is too small for him- that’s a lie, every chair is too small for him. Just look at his weird ass throne.) and asks whether he’ll be the main of honor or the best man to their wedding. He’s not above his bandit ways and WILL demand a dowry for his precious Princess Jasmine.

-Haru> they go back and sometimes, that’s not a good thing. Logan knows exactly how to annoy Haru. It’s just when he decides to find new ways that Haru gets nervous. Like after the Mi-An incident where she thought he was a vampire, Logan spent money on glitter himself that he kept in his pocket and would randomly throw it like confetti in the air with an emotionless face, watching it rain down on Haru with glee burning like the blue flames of a fire. Or when he actually borrowed Mi-An’s book so he could read it (he honestly hates it, nothing makes sense and he almost abandoned the idea numerous times) and WILL quote it at him. Haru hasn’t read it, but at this point he essentially has given how Logan took this way too seriously and is passionate about giving him shit. Sometimes, Logan will idly remark about being sick of shit and wanting to run away. Which annoys Haru because “been there, done that”. Not letting Haru sit in his weird throne actually annoys him but for the principle, not because Haru really wants to sit there. Logan also likes to remark about how smart Qi is and wonders if his bombs would be more effective. Then there are times where they’re just meandering about riding their steeds and Logan will go off on this near philosophical and rather introspective tangent that takes Haru by surprise, going to respond to Logan only to be met with “I was talking to Rambo.” 💀 IF HARU IS INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER >>> Logan is both the best and worst person to have as your wingman. I don’t make the rules (yes I do ). He’ll give him openings to make his move, he’ll set up the scene perfectly like this is mere child’s play to him (it’s odd, the things Logan chooses to be good at), hell, he may even pay for their dinner. But then there are times where they’re having a nice date and Logan will all of a sudden stretch over the divider wall of the booth with a harsh and loud whisper of “diD YoU kiSS ‘eM YEt?!” He is both a himbo and a child. IF LOGAN IS ALSO INTERESTED IN THE BUILDER>>> if it was anyone else, he’d be pulling out all the stops to win the builder over. But with Haru, all he can do is poke lighthearted fun at his height or how he’s missing a duster or a cowboy hat. Sometimes a “is your heart a ticking bomb? What’re you swearing for?” sort of shit to tease him.

[biolizardboils]

Underpanniversary mont September is almost over, so here’s one last headcanon dump for the road

General

The entire book series takes place in a single school year. The following is my vain attempt at cramming everything into that timeframe in a way that makes sense

The football game in Book 1 was the kickoff and happened in early August. The 4-to-6 weeks before the Ring arrived was really just 4 weeks, minimizing the Boys' slave labor and placing Captain's first day on duty in early September (not exactly the 1st but close enough)

Book 6 canonically happens during the cold and flu season (so late autumn), making it the halfway point of the school year and the series. (I just realized that it’s never shown snowing in modern-day Piqua? Maybe it only happened while the Boys were on winter break)

In Book 11, Krupp mentions there’s 7 weeks of school left. Summer break usually starts in mid-to-late May; subtracting 7 weeks from that places Book 11 in early-to-mid April

Book 12 happens in May. The Rid-O-Kid incident and sudden lack of gym teacher forced the school to close for damage control, then hold a half-day to do the yay-you’re-moving-up-a-grade stuff. (And yes, this means Captain Underpants Pizza Party didn’t happen and is merely a wistful fantasy 😔)

Also said school year is 1997-1998 (except for when I bring up any media that came out after that) because this is my post and I make the anachronisms

The Boys

Harold raises Sea Monkeys as snacks for his and George's pets

Speaking of their pets, they are NOT to be put in the same room together. George's are cats, Harold's are fish. Can I make it any more obvious

George had to stay home sick for a whole week once. when he finally came back to school, he walked in with this blasting on this boombox

George's fave computer game is Star Wars: Behind the Magic, Harold's is Insaniquarium (first the browser version, then Deluxe way later), and they both love Backyard Baseball

George's fave Disney film is A Goofy Movie. Harold didn’t have a favorite until middle school when Treasure Planet came out

The boys took Captain to see Hercules in theaters. He declared it the greatest movie of all time, so they bought it on VHS and played it in the treehouse whenever he asked. The boys kept it long after 4th grade and watched it whenever they missed him

They used to think boy bands were weird and girls were weird for liking them... until Heidi got into the Backstreet Boys. Harold caught The Fever from hearing her play their songs in the house, and George caught it from him. Their favorite song is Answer To Our Life

Harold would later joke that him catching The Fever should’ve been his wake-up call lol

The Old!Boys

In college they held a dorm party and made Jungle Juice in a (fully sanitized!!!) toilet so they could flush away the evidence after. And also just for laffs

Their kids go to Stubinville Elementary. It’s farther away and they have to take a bus, but it’s got generally better teachers than Jerome Horwitz. Go Stinkbugs

They wrote a letter to Krupp about what they did to him in 4th grade, but never sent it

Other

The Boys' parents didnt realize their families had blended together for years. It finally hit them when they asked Grandma and Grandpa to synchronize their visits. They were like "....Huh." and then went right back to setting the table

Other things both families do together: bills, carpooling, cooking, movie nights, fishing, picnics, holiday card photos at the mall

The Beards have a record player and a vinyl collection of every funk and R&B hit from 1968 to 1989. They always have one playing as background noise in the mornings and evenings. (The Hutchins like to play MTV instead)

Heidi goes to a preschool halfway across town. Robbie Hoskins (the little boy whose mom never believes him) goes there too

The Boys plan on being Heidi’s bodyguards when she starts kindergarten at Jerome Horwitz. No one’s gonna give her trouble, student or teacher, if they can help it

She can’t get in the Treehouse—not cus the Boys won’t let her, but cus she’s too small to safely climb the ladder 😔 Some day she'll get in there and eat all the hidden junk food, but not yet

I diagnose Melvin with EXTREME Gifted Kid Burnout post-canon lmao. He ends up going to the same community college as the Boys and they finally bury the hatchet there

Switching to paragraphs for this last one:

Long ago, when Krupp first started out as a principal, him and all the staff fell victim to an impossibly elaborate prank. He was excited to write his first detention slip and grilled the whole student body to find the culprit. 

After threatening to hold them hostage past the last bell, a dirty blonde boy in 2nd grade came up to him and claimed responsibility. Krupp locked him in the detention room and looked for his parents' number in the school directory, but couldn't find anything under his last name. 

Just then, he heard the kid make this noise. He stormed back to the detention room and opened it to yell at him... but the kid had vanished. The only sign he’d been there was his slip on the floor.

Krupp framed it in his office to preserve a milestone in his career, and vowed to crush that kid's spirit the next day.

But he never appeared at the school again.

[misterjauthor]

CABIN FEVER

“WHAT’S that?”

Something stuck out from under Benjamin’s mattress as I closed the door.

My heart raced.

Is that what I think it is?

No, I can’t. That’s my roommate’s stuff. I shouldn’t be snooping.

I turned away, stripped to my thermal underwear, and draped the clothes on my desk chair.

On the way back, I glanced at the helicopter pilot’s bed again.

Curiosity nagged at me to find out I was right.

Benjamin is in the rec room playing poker with our other teammates. He won’t be coming back anytime soon.

Oh, fuck it!

I lifted the dense foam and uncovered about half a dozen straight porn magazines.

“A-ha! I knew it.”

What a fucking amateur? I wouldn’t leave my collection lying around like this.

Of course, I wouldn’t. My straight ex-roommate back home would have found out my secret.

These weren’t exactly my type of magazines. But I haven’t shot my load since I started working here. I’m fucking horny.

It’s not like I have access to online porn. For god’s sake, this is Antarctica. Connection to the internet had a schedule, and we use it primarily for research tasks.

I could focus on the guys.

After taking one, I climbed on my bed and opened it.

Some of the pages were stuck together.

Has he been jacking off when I’m not around?

Blood rushed to my dick at the image of my straight roommate stroking his meat in our room.

I need lube.

There was some K-Y in the clinic, but I didn't want to go there.

Benjamin might have some.

There’s no point in being shy about it. I already violated my roommate’s privacy.

I went for his nightstand and found a half-empty bottle in the bottom drawer.

When I returned, I hooked the waistband of my thermal underwear under my balls and poured some lube on my dick.

With the magazine on my thigh, I stroked my erection while looking at the page.

I came across a scene where a locker room of football players gangbanged a female reporter. Her cameraman recorded everything while jerking off.

Some players were still in their dirty uniforms, and some were only in their jockstraps. One of the beefy guys fucking her had a whistle around his neck.

Heat spread through my body, and more blood filled my angry erection.

I closed my eyes, leaned back against the wall, and twisted the hand on my dick like a screw.

In my head, I was the reporter, and the players were my teammates at the station. They took turns filling my mouth and my hole with their fat dicks.

It would be a dream come true if it happened for real. But I’ll have to settle for the fantasy because it never will.

Why did I decide to work in the south pole stuck with a bunch of straight guys?

Fuck, I’m getting close.

The door opened.

“Doc, you wouldn’t believe what just happened.” Benjamin entered.

My whole body jolted.

Oh, shit! I tucked my dick back inside and shoved the magazine and lube under my pillow.

A large tent stuck out in front of my underwear.

I grabbed another pillow and used it to cover my lap. “What are you doing back so soon? I thought you were still playing poker.”

He started stripping down to his favorite thermals. “I fucking lost to Warren. Him. Of all people. Can you believe that?”

I snickered. “You lost to the guy with the most obvious tell?”

“It’s not funny.” Benjamin tossed his clothes on his desk and turned around. He may have the muscles, but he doesn’t have my bulk.

His dick bulged out in front of his underwear.

My dick twitched, remembering seeing it in the flesh a week ago.

“Looks like I interrupted your ‘me’ time, doc.” He cocked his head at my pillow and grinned. “I see you found my stash and enjoying yourself.”

A flush warmed my cheeks.

“I’m sorry for taking it without your permission, man.” I brought the magazine and the lube out to return them.

Benjamin raised a hand. “No, it’s okay.”

I stopped with one foot off the bed.

“You can borrow it. It’s not like I don’t have more. You know what?” He lifted his mattress, took a magazine, and climbed on his bed. “I’m gonna rub one out, too.”

“I’ll leave and give you some privacy.” With the pillow covering my crotch, I put the porn and lube down and stepped off the bed.

“No, doc. Stay. I don’t mind.” Benjamin leaned on the wall facing my bed and removed his bottom thermals. “Why don’t you finish what you started? We’re both guys here.”

When I reached the door, I paused to consider the invitation.

Oh, fuck it. I may not get another chance to see him jack off.

I climbed back in bed and mirrored him.

“Pass me the lube.” He extended his hands out, ready to catch the bottle.

“Here.” I tossed it to him.

After pouring the clear liquid on his dick, he chucked it back and jacked off while looking at the magazine next to his hip.

I removed my thermals and did the same thing. But while leafing through the magazine, my eyes peered on Benjamin.

The sight of him stroking across from me made my dick leak. It mixed with the lube, making my hand slide smoother.

He glanced in my direction.

Shit!

I snapped my gaze back to the porn.

My heart pounded inside my chest.

“Doc, this is so fucking hot. You should see this, too. Wait. I’m going over there.” Benjamin joined me on my bed and put the magazine on top of mine.

“Damn!” I pretended to look at the page with a woman’s face drenched in cum, but focused on his stroking beside me.

Our shoulders touched.

The unexpected contact sent tingles straight to my dick.

I continued jacking off as if nothing happened.

Benjamin didn’t move away. “I wish someone was here to take my load on their face like that.”

If only he knew that someone was sitting right next to him.

“I’ve been in Antarctica for almost six months. I miss pussy.” He turned the page.

“Unless you know how to get back to your wife for the night and return in the morning, you’re stuck in this icebox continent until your contract expires.”

“I know, right?”

“You have no choice but to take matters into your own hands like the rest of us.”

We continued stroking our dicks.

“Fuck, I wish I could get a blowjob right now. It doesn’t have to be from my wife. I’ll settle for some ugly bitch just to have my balls drained by something other than my right hand.”

“Ha. Good luck finding that in this sausage fest of a station.”

“Or you could suck my dick for me.”

To be continued...

---

The complete story is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

I truly appreciate the support. It inspires me to continue writing.

If you enjoy my stories, please let me know. Or at least Reblog it.

[angevon]

podcasts I'm listening to (and not)

In 2023, I began to listen to lots of podcasts during my daily commute. Here’s a list of the ones currently in my queue. I’ve found I tend to prefer fun stories and comedy.

Murphy’s Inc. - this is about a company that owns a Time Machine and uses it to go back in time to find items for wealthy clients. The first season they’re trying to find an amulet owned by Erik the Red. My main complaint is the characters don’t seem to like each other much which detracts from the overall vibe, but it seems wholesome overall  and I'm enjoying it.

Mission to Zyxx - a sci-fi story about a misfit team going on diplomatic missions to weird planets. It's improv and there’s a big focus on special guests for each episode which never lands or works for me personally, but I love the main cast and their interactions continue to be entertaining even in season 4 where I'm at now.

No Such Thing As a Fish - a comedy podcast where people from qi.com talk about fun facts they learned during research for their other shows. 

The Mansfield Mysteries - a high-class mom and daughter duo solve murder mysteries among the upper crust of their hometown. There is a focus on distinct character voices which is hit or miss tbh.

Welcome to Night Vale - my favorite podcast of the bunch. It’s difficult to explain Night Vale, you kind of have to experience it. Essentially, a radio host talks about the news in Night Vale, but it’s always things we would consider unusual. Like, a sentient glowing cloud going over the town and dropping dead animals all over everything. A football player at the high school grew a second head. Things like that. The storytelling is well done, and the stories develop so naturally, it’s very fun to listen to it all play out. And the music direction is wonderful too. 

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - a comedy podcast where the hosts find funny reviews to read in a dramatic way. Just mindless fun.

Stellar Firma - A comedy sci-fi about a firm that designs and builds planets for wealthy clients. It stars Trexel Geistman, who is a self-absorbed drunk who never comes to work on time, and his long-suffering assistant, clone David 7. David 7's survival depends on the success of their designs but Trexel always has horrible and outlandish ideas. So it's kind of about how David 7 slowly grows into the role and begins to manipulate Trexel into doing better. ...Kind of.

Inn Between - short episodes about a team of adventurers, and, well, their adventures in a fantasy world. I normally don't enjoy 4th wall breakage but here it's harmless fun. I like Betty the most.

Hey Riddle Riddle - a trio of comedians go through riddle books and come up with better answers and make fun of the riddles

DUST: Chrysalis - after the apocalypse caused by an alien invasion, only one human survives. He manages to combine himself with machinery with one goal: revenge.

Mysterious Universe - two guys talk about conspiracy theories and paranormal experiences. Captivating storytelling more than anything, whether any of it's true or not never crosses my mind tbh

Finished listening to!

EOS 10 - wonderful podcast, it has a rough start but I really enjoyed it. It's about a newbie doctor assigned to space station EOS 10 and the quirky cast of characters he meets there. It does have an overarching plot but the focus is mostly the rapport between the characters, they really work well together.

The protagonist reminds me of Pleck in Mission to Zyxx and his boss reminds me of Trexel in Stellar Firma. 

 Here are some I've dropped and why.

Sidequesting - I really loved this one! It features an ace wanderer in a fantasy world, helping people whenever they can, and has a lot of queer rep. But the last few episodes in my queue focused too hard on crossovers with other podcasts and made them... not fun... so I lost interest. 

Wolf359 - This one's popular and often recommended to anyone looking for sci fi. Eiffel was really funny and plot-building was an enjoyable slow burn. However, about half-way through it dropped all the humor for total seriousness which is not what I listened to this for, so I dropped it. 

Radiation World - I just didn't like it.

Hello From The Magic Tavern - something rubbed me the wrong way in this one, even though one of the characters is the creator of Hey Riddle Riddle. I think it might've been one-too-many improv podcasts and I was tired of the format after Zyxx. I may return to this at some point, maybe when I finish Zyxx.

Pod to Pluto - while it wasn't bad or anything, my heart goes out too much to the protagonist for me to enjoy it. 

The Mysterious Secrets of Uncle Bertie's Botanarium - the protagonist is an asshole and that's the point, but there was dismemberment humor in ep 2 and I just can't.

The Amelia Project - love the idea (an organization that you pay to fake your death in a dramatic way) but it's already 4th wall breaking in episode 9 I guess they're already out of ideas ... ?😅

ARS Paradoxica - too overdramatic, the dialogue where person a says something, person b repeats it as a question, person a repeats it again, it's just too boring!!! I wish podcasts would Stop Doing That. Wolf359 did it a lot too which is another reason I don't feel bad dropping it.

Rabbits - it's meant to be interactive and I'm way too lazy for that. I listen to these while driving, you know?

Ghosts in the Burbs - not bad, but it was pandering so blatantly to suburban moms that I could not relate at all 😂

[justreputationnoexplanation]

Ask game 2023 swiftie edition 🩵 As a longtime football girlie I have to ask 18, but if you’re not into it then 23 💙

I am also a football girlie, but I'll go ahead and answer both anyways lol

18. Favorite football/KC Tay moment

Not directly related to them, but my fave football + Taylor related things were: a. my mom and another friend of mine (neither of which are Taylor fans) both made sure to inform me that Kelce was both a great player and, by all accounts, a genuinely great guy and they were happy for him and Taylor. My mom even let me update her weekly on Taylor's presence at the games and what she wore and all that stuff, including watching the Karma "guy on the chiefs" video with me. so like for both its just that we got to bond over major interests overlapping and I could finally talk about Taylor in connection with something they cared about, instead of just screaming about the surprise songs constantly. a. I'm in a fantasy football league made up entirely of Swifties, and the chaos of figuring out if anyone had him drafted was lots of fun (I was not the one who had him which is extra unfortunate because i really could have used a good tight end) c. at the end of every appt after we've got the next one scheduled, my therapist asks whats going on with them and what I think about it s just like closing conversation. it just amuses me greatly.

23. If you could pick your top two songs for surprise songs what would they be? I would have to go with Dear John (Guitar) & Soon You'll Get Better (Piano). That being said, I feel like SYGB is one of the few that she probably won't perform at any point. My next choice, Would've, Could've, Should've, I don't think she'd play with Dear John, just for her own emotions about it. Plus, it's also a guitar song, not piano. This brings us, finally, to a realistic choice of Innocent on Piano. That was probably a lot more of an answer than you wanted, and I almost feel like Vizzini in The Princess Bride, logicing my way around pairings like poisoned wine lol.

Thanks for the ask!!