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the-meadow-of-a-fluffy-sheep · 8 months

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The Meadow of a Fluffy Sheep: Entry 3

Hello and welcome back to my meadow! This week was a pretty big week for me. It was my first week of 10th grade, and also the week my mom was gone on a work trip so I was staying at a friend’s house. My friend lives super close to me and we both live super close to the high school. I stayed with him, his mom, his dad, his sister, his sister’s boyfriend, and his cousin. He was starting at a new school and his cousin had a new job, and this was the first week of school for all of us, so there were a lot of moving parts.

Wednesday was my first day of school. I got there early to see my friends. I got to see three of my freshmen friends who I hadn’t really seen in so long. I also saw one of my best friends who is in 11th grade. Soon after, we went to class. I had world studies. We talked about what we’re going to learn in the class. After world studies, I had English. I know I’ll love English because it’s being co-taught by two teachers and they have four axolotls in a tank in the back of the classroom. Next was science class. There were some people from my old ex friend group and I decided not to sit with them because I wouldn’t belong and they wanted to sit with each other, so I sat at an empty table and a bunch of boys sit down and this annoying one from my middle school goes “Let’s go we get Everett” and I’m like oof. By the second or third day I was able to move away from them though.

I was tired because I hadn’t slept great that night at my friend’s house. I ate lunch with my 11th grade friend and that was really nice. She said she wants to eat lunch with me every day as long as she can go around and say hi to her other friends and that made me super happy. I’m so lucky to have her, she is seriously so good and kind to me.

In my entrepreneurship class, we learned about divergent thinking and business opportunities. Then it was math, and then the end of the school day. I went home and then to my friend’s house a few hours later.

The second day of school was much like the first - history, English, science, entrepreneurship, and math. My science class is a biology class and we are doing a hands-on experiment with worm reproduction. Our science teacher had us write down questions we had for her or about this class and they were so ridiculous. “Does worm do worm things” “Can we play the worms music” “Is there a limit to what we can do with the worms” “Will we feed our worms eat” It was really grammatically incorrect and just funny.

We had a sophomore presentation meeting type thing and talked about support staff, the areas of the building and what they’re used for, rules and policies, bullying, vaping, bathrooms, and elevators. I’m glad that they take bullying and vaping seriously because I know a lot of high schools don’t. I saw a bunch of my friends and my friends' friends in the hallways and it was so nice to see them again.

The third day was more actual class content. I had a get together with two of my freshmen friends after school. This was something I had wanted and been looking forward to since the beginning of summer. There were supposed to be three, but one of them had an appointment. Even so, it was so wonderful to be with my friends who I had missed so so much. I read them my diary entry forum post from my first day of 9th grade and we compared experiences. We talked about school and life and supported each other and reconnected and it was just so amazing. Then we watched funny videos and laughed and laughed.

I had a pretty deep conversation with my friend’s mom. I was watching videos of trans kids and teens and their parents who were being interviewed. These were parents who supported their kids and fought for them and called them the right things. I thought of my friend and his mom and how lucky my friend is to have his parents, who are so supportive and kind and caring. It’s not just about being trans, either. It was really hard for my friend to transition to a new school where he didn’t know anyone and he was crying the night before school and his mom was helping him calm down. I wish I had that. I think his mom is amazing and I wish mine was more like her. It was eye-opening to me to get to know his family like this because I never knew a family could be like this. I had never been so close with someone else’s family and I’ve never been so welcomed and treated so well, like I belonged there. I’ve never seen parents who treated their children so well and with so much support and love and patience. I wish my mom could be like that, be able to meet my emotional needs but I know she won’t be. I’ve never had an adult be there for me like this who wasn’t paid to me. I told her all this and how much I appreciated her and how much she and her family meant to me and we talked. She told me that it hasn’t always been easy and it’s been chaotic and messy but she tries her best because she cares about her kids and how they should have a space to be happy and safe and themselves. I almost cried because it was so beautiful.

I know that there were a lot of good things, but I’m going to bridge over to some of the challenges I’ve faced this week. TW // gender dysphoria, brief grooming mention // I had an extremely dysphoric night last night and I felt physically repulsed by everything, I just felt disgusting. I was experiencing pain from my chest binder and my body was telling me to take a break but I left all my bras at my friend’s house so I walked over wearing my backpack in front and changed right away. I had also gotten my period and left my pads at his place so I had to make do. I saw the homecoming game and was reminded of this time in my life last year and somehow that made me feel even more gross, not in a dysphoric way though, but in an emotional way. Earlier that day I had seen someone in the hallway who I have complicated history with and I got a little trigger-y. There was also something that reminded me of a song that is a trigger for me so that was a bit uncomfortable but I got through it by distracting myself. I was also thinking of how my mom would be back home today and how I didn’t want her to come back. I don’t want to be around her, I don’t want to be around my brother, and no, it’s not some developmental thing where I hate my mom because I’m a teen, it’s a trauma thing. I just wish she could care. But she doesn’t, so here we are. Also people were making jokes about grooming and it’s not funny because I was actually groomed and it’s not something to joke about. I was switchy the first night of school when I was at Cam’s and I was trying so hard not to switch to Fawne (my 3-year-old alter). I was exhausted and slipping into regression and it was overwhelming and stressful. I’m also scared because the last time I had a friendship similar to what I have with one of my friends now, I accidentally ruined it with my attachment issues and I just don’t want my friend to leave me. I don’t want to be obsessive, I don’t want to be too much, I don’t want to get too attached and I’m trying so hard but what if it’s not enough?

Thank you for reading, I know it was a lot this week and your support means the whole wide world to me! Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here next week.

#diary entry #journal #my diary #online diary #support

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stnrvr · 9 months

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lies about growing up.

tl:dr

sometimes people lie about who they were and who they are. this causes them to also lie about other people. If they have a problem with change; then they will have a problem with everything when they change. this can cause them to confuse a lesson with a real experience. remember how much you used to ignore and move on. recognize what you have learned. pay attention to how you change. Talks about media being good or bad can expose your own problems.

Do not judge the world based upon lies you tell yourself.

The ramble -

When I was growing up I had a large (mid level maybe?) family and they always invited friends to parties so there were a lot of different groups talking in different rooms. One thing I learned from this was that people lied a lot; specifically about their childhood and used those lies to judge everybody.

This information was exposed by other family members talking about the crazy shit they were caught doing together, or had caught the other person doing, and the social and financial fallout that made them pissed at how this family member was acting morally superior.

This was also parallel with family members who followed all the rules and felt betrayed when they realized all of this information that they based their lives on was a lie. As well as those who knew they were lied to but decided the lie was the way it should be and they pushed that narrative even after it became obvious that it did not solve any problems and was making things worse.

This is what I think about when people critique media. It is really nice when a show has a parable that is easy to explain in a short blurb at the end of the show but that is not how people really talk. You can't have a show be a parable and be realistic at the same time. Real conversations are not poorly written. Addressing real issues is not clean. People backslide into bad decisions. You have to be self aware enough to recognize that the season of a show you like was practically made like a disney story and that is what you are looking for but the season you don't like was messy and real with people making mistakes because the show was addressing real world issues and that requires real world mistakes.

A well done parable does not mean that parables are the right choice for every lesson. A parable has to be compared to real life. If you don't like real life? That is fine. Accept that and move on. If you don't like the parable? Also fine. But arguing that the quality has gone down or the writing sucks because they aren't supporting the lies you tell yourself about life is a "you problem"; not a "them problem".

The biggest example in my mind is the movie "sleepaway camp". Most horror movies are bad parables. but the bad example part is from trauma. The killer is a child who is a young boy that everybody sees as a girl until the final reveal. This is considered an example of trans people being evil or deviant. The movie makes it pretty clear that the mother always wanted a girl and only had a son so she tortured him until he was the girl she wanted. Somehow; this movie does not expose the evils of conversion therapy or how parental abuse can really mess a child up. All anybody brings up is how this movie is "coded" to make trans people look evil. This movie is not a good parable. nearly any personal trauma causes people to ignore huge chuncks of the character building and they make it about their own experience; either their own trauma at being vilified or they use it as an excuse when looking for targets for their own abuse.

Stop pretending things were different when you were young and these damn kids won't stay off your lawn.

This also addresses the concept that a show "did not age well". First, What the fuck does that even mean? Second, Information changes. There are some science fiction authors who are the subject of a lot of debate but people forget that they wrote books over their whole life. There was a time when they were literally living with their parents and they believed in a utopia of everybody just getting along and we all let it slide that their understanding of economics is shit until they get old and start with the pseudo libertarian crap; which is also utopian, but a utopia that supports crime with a shit understanding of economics. Not many people have lived in a world where we all have awesome education, scads of resources, and no moralist judgement; but nearly every person has lived in a world that involves people not caring that a criminal has targeted you and we all know that only works until there is some murder and then everybody chooses a different system that requires less murder.

This extrapolates out to stories that require a bad understanding of psychology, law, morals, philosophy, social relationships, problem solving, information security, and whatever else you can recognize.

I loved early science fiction when I was young. But then I grew up. Now I can recognize what I liked and what I totally ignored because I didn't know enough to recognize how wrong the author was about whatever. Positrons sound cool but they are just antimatter electrons. you cannot slap positrons in a circuit and get human level AI. At one time I could ignore it and now I can't. John wayne was a cool cowboy but every movie has him put a woman over his knee and spank her until "she learns respect". I can't ignore that now. There is a western, which I am not going to look up because I don't care enough to know the name right now, but it is not unique, where clint eastwood's heroic character rapes a woman and she tries to shoot him and they have a little comedic moment where they discuss if she is shooting him because he "had his way with her" and left or because he didn't go back for a second time. I can't ignore that like I could when I wasn't old enough to understand what rape was. James Bond and his enemies kill a bunch of bystanders during a car chase or gun battle and you can accept it because he is literally fighting in a shadow war and war is bad for everybody because innocents are always in the crossfire. The fast and the furious cause thirty car pile ups every movie, they use innocent people as human shields all the time and if you let it slide because the cars are cool; that is a red flag. The first movie involved them stealing VCR/TV combos and the series is literally a train wreck of bad decisions from lazy people who can't be trusted who, somehow, have a collection of friends who, also can't be trusted and, can make superior experimental technology in their garage like tony stark out of trash they picked up at the curb while having car chases with groups fundamentally equal to them but are not american. Can't ignore that anymore.

It is important to recognize the gaps.

Sometimes a show can't be watched anymore because, while entertaining, it is fundamentally wrong about some crucial things.

There was discourse a while back about how they could never make "blazing saddles" today. Of course not. There used to be a fuckton of westerns but those shows required people to not know what life was like at that time and place. Once you know about the actual history of the west; those shows look empty and vapid as well as being outright lies in most cases. Blazing saddles made jokes about those things. Many of those jokes were cruel because cruelty was the point. Westerns, especially bad westerns, were about cruelty and suffering. If you are drawing attention to the comical levels of cruelty then the cruelty has to be there for the joke to work. if nobody watches westerns and nobody thinks the cruelty is a good thing then what are the jokes going to be about?

There used to be a lot of stories about mind control. As it turns out; the mind is really complex and simple explanations stopped working when most of freud was left in the past and a better understanding of the mind became widely known.

War movies used to be really cool; until they started showing the reality. Now a war movie is either a parable about trauma or a psychological horror movie.

Things change. You change. Sometimes the show is wrong and you have to let it go. Sometimes you are wrong and the show just illuminates the problem you have.

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hanzi83 · 1 year

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The “Everyone Puts On an NWO Shirt” Edition

The last blog I wrote about the right wing shift within entertainment seeping into politics was published before I saw the shit storm after “Progressive” host Cenk from TYT had to double down on what his co-host Ana Kasparian’s reactionary position is and then play the victims. Like I am sure there have been and will be bad faith actors trying to make shit worst, but most of the peers of these people were not shitting on them completely and approaching why the rhetoric is dangerous and covered it on their shows because TYT is an influential platform, you don’t believe me, watch one of their live 2 hour streams where the commercials are literally sucking their own dick about how further they were compared to other progressive movements and how many times they are right, so when they argue in bad faith, and people are telling you to reflect and reconsider the angle you are taken, if you care about the marginalized communities that you claim to fight for then why are these people becoming Bill Maher. A lot of leftists are nice about this to a fault because they don’t want to burn the bridge with TYT, but they are certainly trying to burn bridges with other leftists. Ana flat out said she is done collaborating with other leftists because they get used and get boosted up to trash them. I can understand the Jimmy Dore’s of the world doing shit like that, but the people they are claiming now called them names etc, didn’t call them names at all. Just because people call you out on your bad takes that are conveniently getting boosted up by the usual right wing suspects online, then maybe rethink your position but these people want to be known for their informative stories but incorporate shitty entertainment to get sitcom dialogue off, because that is what we need, more political commentators doing their Trump impression. Let me sum up the situation before I go further, because maybe people don’t get what is going on. I know me expressing myself via blog will make people catch feelings but anything I write or say is just my opinion and my theory. Remember people weaponized the mentally ill shit on me to discredit me but then suddenly think I am credible if I dare question conspiracy theories. The reason I want to try and explain and go through the process, because I have seen my fair share of rebranding with public figures, you start to see the trend and this one with TYT it has been one of those rebrands that feel like one of the forced things on the planet. I never seen it be so fucking transparent, and maybe that is by design because you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.

So let me point out better and more informed people who have written or talked about this have done a good job and go look at their coverage and opinions about this. I know I am not well versed in how to articulate myself at times, and there are always vultures trying to take advantage, it probably doesn’t help that I run my digital mouth when I feel people are being recruited to joining the right wing side and people will lesser of the 2 evils this shit, which they had condemned if people voted for a democrat. They spent years generalizing Trump supporters, and now when they are ready to pivot to the right, suddenly they promote peaceful shit with people who are being radicalized to tink minority groups are lesser than, So Ana from TYT, did a video a few years back about inclusive language in medical procedures to referring to trans men as birthing people, and if you are someone who has not listened to in depth politics regarding the matter from people in that community and you are genuinely confused and you consume shit through entertainment, especially Joe Rogan who seems like he knows about what happens in sports, now I don’t know shit about it, so someone who is a sports person talking about this issue I tend to stop trying to think and assume these people are experts in this shit. There are people who get funded to go more regressive attitudes and persuade people that way, so now because these issues get pushed by celebrities, who don’t play by regular rules, maybe some of the same qualities but ultimately these people all have an agenda, sure they have talent, but there is always a portion of them that is designed to persuade people, it only becomes obvious when it is something progressive pushed, and if you need an art form to specifically blame, it will be hip hop a lot of the time. So when most people in general don’t care about this issue because it doesn’t affect their lives, they have now convinced people the internet is 100 percent real with what is put on there, and because MSM doesn’t cover it, people think they stumbled upon plutonium, they probably watched a bunch of illuminati youtube videos where ominous music is playing in the background while you show different celebrities covering one eye. They think they are the only ones stumbling across this shit, and because MSM is completely shit with issues, that seems to be the role they have played in a more obvious ways to uplift other alt media platforms that pride themselves on being better than MSM but still pretty much have an establishment show. That is what TYT seems to be about more so than ever, Ana Kasparian and Cenk sold their souls to do shitty sitcom banter and trying to be “fair” to powerful right wingers when the systemic trajectory is by default a right wing system, no matter who the fucking president is. They will say they are telling you the truth about telling you how the system is being more and more corrupt, they show trauma porn a lot of the fucking time, then condemn people for being a bit reactionary when powerful right wingers are normalizing Nazi level shit against them, someone like Ana, who so badly wants to be a showbiz celebrity type, which is why a lot of alt media people who cover news never disclose how some of these big time celebrities and larger than life personalities are just regular people, she just said on her show “If Trump was just a comedian I would support him all day but he is running for president” like being a celebrity, you can’t be a government agent who manufactures consent and a cult. They feel so powerful for dumbing down villains that are a serious threat, but you are not supposed to think that because the “liberal establishment” is making fun of him all day and presenting theatrical cases that are more for the sports entertainment so it prolongs but sets you up for the inevitable because his followers who have large following and social clout, are presenting themselves like this could happen to anyone, when it has been happening to people, but they make it seem like they are actually going to do shit with Trump, and so when his side fights back, they will feel they have been targeted and victimized by the establishment while falling for another establishment person who is probably working with the people who claim to hate him so they can usher in fascism. I am getting a bit off track, but no one checks for my blogs unless it is powerful people who will find a way to mentally torment me for writing down my theories that was agreed upon that would mean I would have to be irrelevant. So Ana and Cenk start a shit storm on twitter and even tried to bait people on their show, and when they didn’t receive a reply, Ana went on the attack to someone who basically said she didn’t want to coddle her feelings when she was the one who started to bitch about birthing people term like it is some random opinion, while so many bills are being passed, the right wing sensationalizing videos online, Tucker basically telling his viewers these people are a fucking danger, these people know what they are doing when putting out the opinion, people pushed back against it, some were not so nice, some were trying to reason with them, and now they present it like “YOU CAN’T STOP US FROM THINKING WHAT WE THINK” in which seems to be one of the worst pivots to the right wing when it has been building for a while through some of their opinions. They fear monger about crime, and even the people who counter them with facts get discredited, but I feel both sides are missing that these billionaires, who fund protests, and fund chaos in school boards, people don’t want to believe these people could fund sensationalist crime for viral moments, that add to narratives of crime getting out of control, but TYT will use how regular citizens are scared and what do you tell them, but considering a few months ago during one of their commercial breaks, Ana admitted when reading a user comment, she thinks they are sensationalizing the crime so people fear justice reform, and I figured she would incorporate that eventually but she kept going on fear mongering about the homeless and the crime, and it feels even people who have to counter her within the rules of kayfabe, they can’t be conspiratorial and act like this shit is done by design, our lives have become a funded reality show, and we are using examples to chastise the most vulnerable, like with that new NCAA right wing spokesperson athlete who is speaking at Turning Point USA sponsored shit to spew paid speech for this political sports entertainment, she was confronted by attackers, and TYT chastises the people in that community like “You are not gonna change these people’s minds who might not be familiar with trans stuff” listen there are legit regular people who have been dumbed down by the system who might legit might not know, but this athlete is in a position where she is probably being funded to speak this “truth” because we assume the politically incorrect opinion is some genuine truth when it has been as funded as overly politically correct shit. And they use these sensationalist celebrity examples to then go the angle of “Look I am not a right winger, but this is why they have a point” and quite frankly Cenk and Ana don’t have the charisma to pull it off, they know they are blowing the remaining goodwill they had to now play catch up with Jimmy Dore and others like him because they can’t admit they want to sell out and go that way, when you have prominent right wing accounts encouraging you to get red pilled, it is not a good sign and because I believe shit is gimmicked, TYT has always, in my opinion reported on gimmicked storylines that are designed for culture war issues while sprinkling in some real commentary, so now Ana is doing a story where to show she is a credible journalist she retracted a story about Rebekah Jones, who claimed that her son was arrested for a meme but it turns out he was gonna threaten to shoot up a school. It was an obvious smear job for DeSantis, so now all the right wing accounts have been calling this woman out, since the world wants you to go into a more right wing mentality in subtle ways, you now have TYT being “fair” to DeSantis that this sports entertainment patsy tried to smear his name when she has a history of fucked up shit like stalking etc, but to me it feels like an obvious attempt to whitewash DeSantis more and more. I have an issue because these people pretended to be for the left and did some good things but ultimately they want to sell out but before they do, they want to act like they were pushed to it. Pro wrestling 101 for heels. They won’t care because they will get their paydays, but they better realize the aesthetic might be nice, you will be protected, you will use your power to fuck up people’s lives, but everyone in your life will hate you and I am sure a lot of sell outs think they need to do whatever to survive for their families and maybe you will have the aesthetic, but you will feel miserable more and more because all of this to have a lame comedy bit where you and whatever host you have on are trying to reboot your favorite comedies and think your banter is actually fucking funny.

Now that I have seen my fair share of in fighting being promoted while the world gets worse and then we define these systemic issues by the personality and celebrity involved, I am going to question if the people who are opposing TYT are not gonna find their way to become more right wing down the fucking line. It is not a farfetched assumption. Because sometimes people who cover politics, then come off like marks for entertainment, because that fuels everything which is why everyone and everything has to be some sort of nonstop comedy and Murder She Wrote mystery. Even the stuff with these leaks from the Pentagon, feels gimmicked, like the system wants you to know this information, but because we have to pretend that internet is some underground message board where no one else but you and your friends are into, people then think “MSM not covering this” but then other highly platformed shows are covering it but they really sell it like it was an accident, like if you are not that influential and you are going to lie about narratives, why would I even trust you on this matter. To me it isn’t about country vs country, but people pointing out what each government has done, but each side has to blindly defend the government they are for. When the bad faith factors from all countries are going to algin in the future, like to me people will point out Bush and neocons and act like Trump didn’t have a bunch of them in his administration, and they sell you on the idea that these people hate him, so if you hate him then it means you are siding with the neocons, people think calling out Bush or ex presidents mean a thing when the same players who manufactured consent 20 years ago are doing it again with advanced steps, anyone can say they are anti war now and it doesn’t mean shit, especially when you are palling around with people who clearly advertise more war all the time. They give you shit for playing lesser of the 2 evils, to them also now doing it on a really fucked up level since they are the credible media outlets compared to the “MSM” which makes money but it is basically designed to be a punching bag for other less established sellouts who have their own propaganda they want to spew. I know my shit is kind of scattered, I have so many thoughts and theories, and again these are things I can’t prove so you don’t have to take my word for it, but once I realized the internet and alt media can now be used as a propaganda tool, like all this “anti establishment” shit would’ve sufficed 10-15 years ago, but when you are living in a reality show where the educators are dumbing down the villains and claiming they are funny, I can see the establishment aesthetics creeping in, because these people in the know are fully aware of what the world is going to develop into, more promoted villainous shit about republicans wanting to take away food stamps and medicaid, and yes that shit people should be aware of but they know it is just them promoting what it to come while they actually think the theatrical shit in congress is going to be won when the right wing always find a way to deflect, and a democrat will give into the republicans because ultimately we are going to implode and they just found filler ways to be the reason why it will keep happening. So please spare me the shit of “TYT tells it like it is and they are better than MSM” Same shit goes for Jimmy Dore, I have seen this in wrestling a lot of time, permitted anti establishment people, Steve Austin, in modern times, CM Punk, when a lot of these people are probably industry plants. Some could be used for the sake of good or evil, but I am done pretending these new characters being introduced are just some genuine characters that somehow got known, to me it is always planted from different delegations and factions. Now whoever leaked the Pentagon leaks, he will become a guinea pig of someone who will be fucked with but he will become a new character into the fold. I know I went into a million other thoughts but to be honest when I write, I tend to jot down notes so then I can talk about it in a freestyle way, so even though I am writing a blog I am trying to incorporate as much of those thoughts in here so I don’t have to jot notes about it later in private, even though people are always watching what I write regardless, but everything now is designed for culture wars, promoting Budweiser, Mario Bros, or LEGO by freaking out which celebrities from different delegations will represent for it and we start complaining about it while at the core of this shit, it is sports entertainment and product placement. “This revolution/fascism is brought to you by Mario Bros” but you think people are arguing about the Mushroom head character not having enough masculine traits. These scandals going on feel like the new resume for what is on your IMDB page, like Trump is starring in several television shows where he is being charged with crime, you can’t keep up. It is like I gave up on trying watch every show and movie because I would keep up with the internet chatter, but now that shit is even more gimmicked and everyone has their own storylines going, you got procedurals with Lil Boosie, or Meek Mill, you don’t have to follow past storylines, because most of the time their storylines are self contained episodes. People are constantly reporting on this gimmicked shit. To me the world is advanced and has always been for the longest time, but they have to gimmick how they are normalizing these robot cops to patrol the subways and the streets etc, they are making it official because the world is about to get completely fucked up and they setting the seeds for it, more rights being taken way, more normalization of anti wokeness, justifying brutalizing people in vulnerable communities, present all of it with television show and movie aesthetics and we are too busy acting like characters than actually being human. It is hard to root for anyone anymore, nothing on the surface is ever going to get solved because it is supposed to implode into bedlam, we will have shit being purposefully done like all these toxic derailments, and I will give kudos to people covering it and getting the information out there, but the rest of the time will be spent on people who are accountable and responsible denying being responsible for it while maybe Katie Porter or Bernie Sanders will give them a stern talking to, which will get some social media viral shit to cheer on for the bare minimum. Why would I want to be on this planet, so everyone can fucking thrown on an NWO shirt and do the cool entrance with Hulk Hogan, the funny thing is a lot of you want to join that side thinking it is better to be with the bad guys than being with the losers in WCW, but not all of you are gonna be Kevin Nash, or Hulk Hogan, some of you might be the Scott Halls, where you will have all the money but your psychological issues will always come into play, some of of you will become Scott Norton where you will not reach your full potential in the main stable, you might have to go to another promotion to still show how your true talent, some of you will be VK Wallstreet who will just end up being a background player until they kick you out. If you don’t understand the wrestling analogies, go seek a friend who does and he can probably break it down for you, if they aren’t already being sucked in by the worked shoot in with current stuff, they won’t want to bother explaining what the NWO comparisons could be because they are trying to get to the bottom of why Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez’s motives behind putting out anti CM Punk sentiment. This blog is getting out of control, but the main purpose was because I know most people expected this from TYT, but what outrages me is that all the good work they did or people they helped out, they have been slowly throwing it away and wanted to milk as much out of the progressives before they get gigs where they are propped up and they go further right, and instead of admitting that, they are finding ways to have agreements with the shittiest people on the right and having more vitriol for activists and people who are pushing back at their motives. It is fucking sickening to see people who want to be influential, who have advanced knowledge in the system to play dumb about shit and pretend they are the ones acting in good faith, they started a shit storm for no fucking reason, and then complained about people pushing back and act like they want to focus on the important issues. I hope the money is worth it, because you guys will never be the same. Cenk is the type of dude who watched Sopranos and really thought Tony Soprano is the good guy because there might be relatable mental issues the character has that people can relate to. But the funny thing is a lot of you sellouts want to be Tony Soprano, but you end up being Christopher Moltisanti, someone being groomed to be the next big thing but you have too many issues to deal with because you have been lured into a lifestyle by other sociopaths and manipulated into doing their biddings, and the anger you will have for the people giving you marching orders you will take out on your family members and friends. Now the trolls who hate me, who have connection with people in the system, could show them this blog and they could use their power to fuck with me more and I guess that is the consequence since Cenk is positioning it like he is the one getting punched in the face, and how he doesn’t back down, I don’t take those words lightly because I recognize it in other institutional bosses in the political and entertainment world, it means they will be in a position to be protected so they can run amok on their “enemies” but it didn’t have to be this way, even in videos where it is not right wing propaganda, the comment section is full of people who you would see in Jimmy Dore’s comment section, they are clearly catering to more on the right, and since the online narrative is the right wing are the ones being victimized and censored etc, it is like fairness has been granted when most of the narratives that have existed have probably always had roots in the right wing, to the point of telling people progressive ideas are coming and people are scared because they want to go back to a world where this was not promoted so fucking heavy and it makes me question if some of the gimmicked progressive shit in the system was not always there for the purpose of people thinking the opposite being completely the edgiest of all edges and it is not supported by the system, even though people from the system are the ones promoting it all over social media and speaking engagements, while establishment liberals keep promoting them under them being dumbed down villains, which will lower the guard for how smart these people are. I have heard this old adage in showbiz that “You are no dummy making money being stupid” and look at what the world is, yeah me I am considered a wack packer in the Stern world which has always been used to discredit me, but how can I really feel discredited when everyone who is a public figure is a wack packer yourself, you might as well just have Beetle Juice and Hank the Dwarf argue on the congress floor, because that is what most of these politicians and public figures in general have become. It has never been more obvious and people continuing into wanting to buy into this shit is just wasting everyone’s time because there is serious shit on the horizon and we continuously have to present everything under comedy, like is there not enough comedy for you people out there, what does it really mean when everything is entrenched in comedy. It doesn’t even feel like the laughs for this shit is even genuine anymore, the entertainment has become more worthless and useless to me. And this is what seeps into politics when the world is near doom and bad faith actors are pretending to warn about it while they will be the perpetrators in this whole thing to gain the power they so desperately need to turn this world into complete fundamentalist bullshit. The far right can keep normalizing the shit they normalized but if people don’t protest the fascism properly then they get chastised more than the normalization because shitty platforms like TYT give you the impression that the fight can be happen with the ideas presented in congress etc when they probably know the world is going to implode and not everyone has people looking after them, so people need to be in self defense mode from this shit. More people are gonna continue to get harmed from this rhetoric and no one with these big platforms ever have any real motivational shit to get people mentally prepared for what it to come but people who are far right can have their people enacted and go on the offense while pretending to play the defense so they don’t seem like monsters for the shit they are advocating for. I don’t know what the solutions are, I never wanted to be alive for the longest time, and I really don’t want to see this shit play out the way the people in charge want it played out. What hope is there? I am beyond escaping through entertainment, when the entertainment itself is a reminder of where the world is going as well and all the bullshit attached to it. Again I have to put disclaimers that I am not dangerous, I don’t have any weapons, I am being monitored most likely so the ones doing it can confirm, because anything you say about the system and its players, they will try do some shit to smear you at the behest of other powerful people who are getting angry I put this out but the only saving grace is most of the masses won’t know this blog exists, but just the mere fact that I am presenting it with the idea that I can’t confirm every single thing and I am being a little conspiratorial, does anger people and you bet they have people keeping an eye out on whatever I do, they probably monitor everyone and keep a dossier on them, figuring out how they could use them to be a patsy for some shit to further their agendas. The real ones know my true nature and what kind of propaganda I had to beat that was taking me over at times, they know I am not this violent dangerous person. But they will try to paint me as that, since that is what my trolls have notoriously done that if you look up my name, you see those negative stories, and to me that was designed that if Stern ever gets exposed for the shit he did to me, people looking up my name will see this false photoshop of me beating up people and labeled under “Hanzi beat up a gay couple at wild wings” they haven’t done this in a while but just having that in the public sphere, and anyone who has resources can check my background and see if I have been arrested, powerful people have dossiers on everyone. But there is a reason why my blogs and podcasts and tweets are not boosted up at all and it probably still makes them mad that I am putting effort into putting out podcasts, blogs and trying to be creative, because I am supposed to feel less than since I am not supposed to be boosted up on any level. People having their echochamber of celebratory shit can only be the ones to be propped up but even they are not fully happy because they don’t know if people genuinely find them funny or is it for quid pro quo “I’ll socially put you over but you have to laugh the shit I say”. If I do die, this shit will be out there to live on for people to read after the fact. Maybe in a next life or some shit it will be better since this timeline won’t seem to get better for me because of how the world will play out.

#Hanzi 2023 Howard Stern Mental Illness TYT Young Turks Ana Kasparian Cenk #Post Left Leftist alt media sports entertainment characters villains heroes

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stardustpinkart · 2 years

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Not here to hate, just here as someone who genuinely wants to show "this is more harmful than you might realize." Please, just hear me out.

You can't separate Harry Potter from the views of the creator. She portrayed ending slavery as something to ridicule people for. Her goblins are awful caricatures of Jewish people. A lot of elements are based off racist, transphobic, and homophobic stereotypes. She excused child abuse in the books. She claims that autistic people can't communicate that they're trans, and that therefore trans people are ableist and we need to protect poor little autistic people from them (which is very very ableist.)

Supporting her and her media funds her, and she funds transphobic policies in the UK.

If you can ignore ALL of that and still enjoy Harry Potter, then in the most respectful way I can say this, you cannot call yourself an ally to trans folks, gay folks, people of color, or autistic and disabled people.

That last bit isn't necessarily directed at you, by the way, because again I understand if it just doesn't set in how damaging it is. I only wanted to make sure you at least had a chance to understand, and if you really don't want to, then that's not exactly my business anymore.

Just something you might want to consider, yeah?

I'm not sure about excusing child abuse, as, this is a a common theme in children's books? Kids often on crappy homes and then escaping to something better in the end? "James and the Giant peach", "The Willoughbys" "A Little Princess" "Huck Finn". Even kids books written now often use this trope. I'm not sure Harry Potter is really that different? Though if she really Is deliberately glamorizing abuse, shame on her to stay the least. Other elements have not aged well certainly and seem a product of the time(doesn't make em okay but). Some of it seems to be people acting suddenly “Woke” and having an issue with parts of the story they dident have before? Yes some of it is no doubt bad but others people I think seeing what they want to, mostly the child abuse part(as said this is an old trope often used in books, it does not mean its being automatically shown as okay?)

I do think some stuff is taken out of context cuz it's been revealed she's so horrible, rather than hidden in plain sight? In the old days for example people would compare innocent images and comics vooks to sexual analogy? (A girraffe in a cage was supposedly a symbol for sexual intercourse for example). On the other hand maybe it is, maybe she was comparing all this stuff to her own views in a sneaky round about way. Alot of stuff is not doubt a geniune reason to be angry(she openly admits herself to being anti trans),

It is unfortunate about everything else but a lot of authors, actors, etc I like from old times had similar "problems" . I suppose people are just more vocal about it these days, which is stupid of them. I was not aware about the autism thing I admit which makes me sad to hear as I have that myself in the form of Aspergers. I don't need someone making my decisions for me or "protecting" my feeble little mind. I do consider myself an ally to people who are different as I don't see a reason to hate them, and knowing what it's like to live as one aspect myself, but, I can't change your option of me either, in the most respectful way back.

From what I understand there are people in all those area, including trans, who are still fans of the series, but hate the author rightfully for her hated views?

Love the thing, or make it better, but hate the creator. I think the best way to separate is people often writing better story's than the original, taking out or adressing those more harmful parts, personally. I wish, like somehow people could use HP, like charity zones and stuff, and earn money towards supporting the very organizations she's donating against?(She oughtent be allowed to do that, I cannot condone ANYONE donating to hate groups.)That'd be a nice way to stick it to her. Heh if HP were pd they could do that easily, put the characters on rainbow flags, pride buttons. Some people do that now with there artwork or create characters that are transom disabled, etc.

In fact some people have even sold old merchandise to pay towards trans surgery, binders, etc. That seems a good way to stick a middle finger to the bitch.

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mintugiyuu · 3 years

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oh! its okay, i'll try to word it as close as possible to the first time.

may i please have the main group with a trans male reader who is stealth and kind of scared of how they'll react coming out to them?

(gosh i hope thats close enough, my memory is not the best,,)

thank you so much!!

thank you so so much for resending this!! I’m so sorry it got deleted the first time around, it was early in the morning and I wasn’t using my noggin when I was trying to draft it ;3;

for the kamaboko squad, I left it so it could be interpreted as romantic or platonic! for nezuko I did it more platonically, I hope that was ok! thank you for requesting and I hope these are enjoyable to read! I hope you’re well <3

꒰🌤꒱ — as it’s always been.

sfw scenarios + head-canons

➥ characters || kamado tanjirou, kamado nezuko, hashibira inosuke, agatsuma zenitsu

➥ warnings || none

➥ synopsis || the reader hesitantly comes out as trans to the kamaboko squad, nervous to what they’ll think and say; here is how they would react.

➥ kamado tanjirou:

- Tanjirou has a great sense of smell, so there’s no hiding your anxiety/nervousness about coming out. He’s most certainly going to ask you what’s wrong, nothing but concerned for your state of being.

- As you’re explaining and officially coming out to him, he’s very attentive; nodding and making sure you knew he was listening.

- He knows this must be very hard and nerve-wracking for you, so he lets you finish speaking before responding himself.

- Tanjirou, being the sweetheart he is, immediately reassures you that he thinks no different of you and still loves you through and through!

- If he’s honest, he’s a bit surprised. The boy definitely wasn’t expecting this, but regardless he’s very glad that you’re happy with who you are and honored that you trust him enough with this information.

- Expect lots of words of support and small actions of comfort/affection. Tanjirou immediately pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as he tells you how proud he is of you, and how the information you told him will stay between you two (unless/until you tell the others; he knows it’s not in his place). He’d hold both your hands to his chest as he promises you that nothing has changed between the two of you, giving you his infamous gentle smile.

- Like he promised, nothing changes between you two. Everything is as it was before, and unless you want to talk about the topic at hand, he won’t even bring it up. It just goes to show he doesn’t mind what so ever and supports you all the way!

➥ kamado nezuko

- When it comes to Nezuko as a demon, she doesn’t really have a true understanding of anything that’s going on around her; she goes with her emotions and the emotions she’s picking up around her. Of course, she can tell when there’s danger and understand basic conversations. But other than that, all she really can understand is protect, sleep, and head pats.

- So you wouldn’t outright come out to her, knowing she probably wouldn’t understand regardless. It happens by accident, kind of.

- She spends her days in a dark room of the butterfly mansion as the others are healing, either sleeping or doing her own thing. You’re probably pacing around the room, trying to plan out how to officially tell the other boys and properly come out to them.

- Nezuko notices your distress from where she was playing with a handkerchief you gave to her after one of your missions.

- “Hmmmph!”

- In other words, she’s grabbing your attention, looking lost to why you’re pacing. In a “hey! what are you doing?” kind of way.

- When you didn’t notice her attempts, she huffs, hopping off the bed and making her way to you. She’s in her small form currently, trying to regain her energy but wanting to be awake to be in your company.

- You’d feel her tug at your uniform, making several muffled questionable noises at your pacing. If you tried to brush her off, telling her “it’s nothing”, she’s calling you out on your bull and tugging you to the bed.

- Sit criss-cross and watch her crawl into your lap as a toddler would do to an older sibling (for she saw you as another big brother), grabbing your arms and making it so you were hugging her.

- This gives you no room but to explain yourself, so you did. As you come out to her and explain how you’re nervous to tell the others, she’d.. not be the most understanding.

- Understanding as in she doesn’t comprehend what you’re telling her. But she does her best to listen, feeling how important this is to you and how anxious you’re reacting.

- She cuts you off of a nervous ramble of all the bad outcomes with a head-pat to your head, closing her eyes with a small “hmhmph!” coming from under her muzzle.

- Expect a good ole Kamado hug, tiny edition. And she’s not letting you go, not even when it was time for dinner.

- She calms you, knowing in your heart that even if she’s not completely aware, she still loves you and hopefully the others will as well (they will of course).

- Before you have to go, she grips onto your sleeve and pulls the muzzle off her mouth, giving you a sharp toothed smile. Before you can tell her to put it back on, that you don’t want anyone to see her with it off, but she gets one word out with the biggest beaming smile.

- “Oniisan!” (“Big Brother!”)

- .... and pats her head. She wants head pats too. Nothing’s changed, you’re still the best head pat giver she knows.

➥ !! spoilers for chapter 204 !! bonus: after the final battle, if you were to come out to a now human Nezuko, she’d react much like Tanjirou; just a lot more bubbly with more bright smiles. Unlike Tanjirou, she’d be more.. “aggressively” supportive. Basically, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands at anyone who says something purposely ignorant. It’s terrifyingly sweet; no one messes with her big brother.

➥ hashibira inosuke

- Inosuke has very sensitive skin, so he’s getting goosebumps from the anxiety your giving off. It annoys and confuses him, not understanding what’s going on for you to be so nervous.

- “Oi! You’re making my skin prickly!! Stop that!!”

- It’s his way of asking what’s wrong, wanting to know how to stop it.

- Your anxiety hits an all time high as you let it out, officially coming out to him.

- ... But he doesn’t know what “trans” means, so he’s confused. He stands there, blinking under his pig mask.

- “... What? What the hell is that?” He may sound brash, but he just hates not understanding things. He wants to understand more than everyone else, after all, so don’t take it personally.

- After a long bit of explaining it clearly to him, you two are sitting on the ground, Inosuke with his hands in his lap as he stares at you.

- He’s surprisingly silent the whole way through, and not being able to see his true facial expression just makes you all the more nervous.

- If you were to nervously ask him to take his mask off, you were expecting a hard no. What you weren’t expecting was for him to hesitate for only a moment before taking it off, setting it down in to his lap.

- Inosuke’s eyebrows would be furrowed, his mouth turned down as he looked at you closely. Bracing yourself, he responded.

- “So?”

- That definitely isn’t what you would be expecting.

- Now he didn’t mean this in any negative connotation at all. He fully understands what it means now and what you told him - and to note he’s completely fine with it - he’s just confused to why it’s such a big deal. (If anything he respects you even more, finding you extremely strong.)

- Inosuke doesn’t care how you were born or what you choose to be; at the end of the day you’re his favorite sparring partner! Plus, he has to keep you around. He wants to understand the warm fuzzies he gets in his tummy when you do nice things for him.

- “Doesn’t matter what you are, I can still kick your ass!!” He says as he tackles you to the ground.

- All’s well ends well, and much like Tanjirou, it seems nothing would change between you two.

➥ agatsuma zenitsu

- The high-pitched anxiety sound emitting from you is giving Zenitsu a headache; he’ll make sure to complain about it loudly so you know.

- If you apologized for it while fidgeting, he’ll soften his whining tone and ask why you’re so nervous anyways? It’s day, so it’s not like you have demons to fear.

- You hesitate, stuttering around the topic before officially coming out, explaining that to him and why you’re so nervous.

- Zenitsu.. definitely was not expecting that. He’d go wide-eyed, clearly shocked at the information.

- “HUH??? YOU’RE WHAT???”

- If you were to flinch at his shouts, he’d pause and look to you; watching how you curled up on yourself, scared you looked for a bad reaction.

- Instead he immediately goes to reassure you.

- “IM SORRY!! I-I didn’t mean it like that!! PROMISE! I just wasn’t expecting that!! I wouldn’t ever have guessed!!- I MEAN-!!” He’s talking way to fast for you to even understand, so the more you looked lost the more Zenitsu feared he messed up the trust you must’ve had for him in order to tell him that.

- Eventually he’d break down, getting on his hands and knees while bowing his head to the floor, gripping your pant leg all while begging you to forgive him.

- You’re the one who originally needed comfort here, not him. Smh Zenitsu.

- In all seriousness, reassure him that he’s ok. He meant no harm by his reaction, he just tends to be over-dramatic with his reactions and emotions.

- Once he’s calm, he’d sniffle and be sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

- Zenitsu gives it a few minutes before asking questions, making sure he’s understanding 100% and not getting anything wrong.

- The blonde-boy knows about how hard struggles in life can be; he’s struggled his whole life when it comes to finding a home and a place of belonging, being homeless for the first 3/4’s of the life he’s lived so far. He knows he can’t compare his struggles to the things you must’ve gone through, but he can clearly and easily sympathize.

- He reassures you that he thinks no different of you, if anything he admires the way you could be so brave about it.

- It’s a quiet moment between the two of you as Zenitsu continues his rambles (still scared he ruined whatever is between you two a moment ago), circling over the same couple topics; how he supports you, will support you through anything, that he sees you no differently and that nothing will change.

- Please place your hand over his mouth or he’ll keep going all day; his anxiety rambles are said to last hours.

- This has only made you two closer, the others finding you and Zenitsu sticking/hanging around each other more and more frequently. In the end, your happy you told him.

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andmyvape · 3 years

Text

"Please tell me you're not wearing that."

Elayn looked down, then back up with a wide grin. She tugged at her bright rainbow suspenders with her thumbs. "What, not tacky enough?"

Serana gave the ensemble another slow scan. "No, it's… definitely tacky. The combat boots with the khaki shorts is a nice touch."

The grin got wider as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. "They're going to be throwing candy, and I wasn't anywhere near prepared enough last time."

Serana rolled her eyes, but softened it with a smile. "You're ridiculous."

"Isn't that why we're dating?" her girlfriend asked as they headed out the door.

She took a moment to lock up while Serana laughed. "'Careless Whisper' on a boom box outside my window. I can't believe my dad didn't kill you. I know you stole that, by the way. We both went to see that movie when it came out."

"They marketed it as a romcom!" Elayn protested.

They were in the car now. It would be a trick to find parking, but they were running early thanks to Serana's habit of scheduling everything. Elayn was more the type to go with the flow, but living together had her adapted enough that the flow she went with was largely dictated by Serana's schedule. As a research chemist, she worked interesting hours at times, but Elayn was a good roommate, she cooked and cleaned, mostly because she had the time. Lacrosse wasn't a well paying sport compared to something like soccer, but the off seasons gave her plenty of time to maintain their loft.

"Five dollars an hour?" Elayn griped as the machine printed out their ticket.

"Homophobia strikes again," Serana said with mock solemnity.

She snorted and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waste. "Which park did you say this thing started in again?"

It was a little place surrounded by tall buildings, but it was a green patch in a city largely made out of grey. It being Pride Month, the grey was broken up by rainbows. The two wandered around as they waited for the parade to start.

Well, at least, they started to wander when Elayn caught sight of a dog and all but dragged her girlfriend over to say hi.

"What's his name?" she asked, so full of enthusiasm she practically floated. "Can I pet him?"

The dog's owner, someone with a short haircut in a crop top that was orange, yellow, and white striped, nodded. "If he lets you. Sometimes he's not so-- oh gosh," they said, eyes wide as they watched Elayn kneel down and offer a hand to sniff that was immediately accepted. "You must have good vibes."

"She's a dog person," Serana said with a laugh as the dog put its front paws on Elayn's shoulders so he could lick her face.

"What's his name?" she asked through slobbery kisses.

The butch grinned. "That's Duke, I'm Cas. It's nice to meet you!"

The two introduced themselves just in time for a volunteer to come up with bottles of water. "Our city got voted best water in the state," she said cheerfully. "Take a few, it's gonna be a hot one."

Before the march, there were speeches. The first was an introduction to the city's first pride parade since the 80s. The second was from a drag queen inviting everyone to the show later that night. Finally, the speeches were closed by an Episcopalian pastor trying to make up for the rest of Christianity's sins.

"It's starting!" Elayn said excitedly when the crowd started to funnel out of the park.

The march went down the sidewalk for a few blocks. Traffic was halted and the waiting cars honked while passengers waved. Elayn waved a lesbian flag, Serana had a bi flag, and the two of them dragged a rainbow striped cooler.

"Mom! Mom!" Elayn heard behind her. "Look, it's two cicadas going at it!"

She glanced behind her. There was a set of twins, about twelve years old, one of them draped in a trans flag and holding the cicadas that were indeed trying to reproduce. Elayn snorted and hit herself in the face trying to keep a laugh contained. "You like bugs, huh?"

The girl in the trans flag beamed. "They're my favorite! Well, except for tarantulas, but Mom won't let me have one."

"The rabbit gets out of its cage enough." The way the girl's mom said it, this was an age old argument. "I don't want to squash it when it ends up in my shoe."

"I had a snake when I was growing up," Serana chimed in. "A corn snake that never got out."

The twins turned out to be part of a family unit. One twin was trans, and their older brother was too, and as Elayn found soon, was very excited to start HRT. "Get a Gc2b binder," she said. "When I'm feeling like a flat day, it works really well."

The boy, a younger fourteen, practically floated with excitement. "I will!"

Serana chatted with the parents while Elayn occupied the kids. "Have you folks been to Pride before?"

Their mom, a woman named Chelsea, shook her head. "Nope, both kids came out last September and they've been talking about the festival ever since."

"You seem like really supportive parents," Serana said. It carried the weight of one speaking who has not had contact with their parents since high school.

Chelsea could tell, and she opened her arms for a hug that Serana was more than happy to accept.

The march was only about a mile long, and it ended in another park. Elayn craned her neck and said, "I think I see the beer line, wait here?"

"We will!" said the girl, who was very proud to be named Luna now.

Serana and Chelsea shared a grin. "I guess we'll wait here," the mom said.

It was a bit of a line, which was probably not a good thing, but apparently people were restricted on how many drinks they could buy, so at least there was that. While Elayn waited, she was joined by two people wearing pronoun pins that said "she/her".

Elayn's jaw dropped at the sight of one of the girls' dress, which was a flowing, fae like ensemble. "Holy shit!" she said. "You look amazing!"

She blushed and ducked her head as she smiled. "Thank you, I got it from Amazon."

"It's her first Pride," her friend added.

That just amazed Elayn more. "With the sparkles and the green eyeshadow, I wouldn't have guessed. Everything you've got going on is just amazing."

"Thank you!" she squeaked.

Elayn wasn't alone in thinking the dress was gorgeous. Another person came up to compliment it, and they had such dope tattoos that Elayn could not help but comment.

"The guy that did them is great," they gushed. "He does blacklight work too!"

So she got a website saved on her phone for the next time she really wanted to get a tattoo on top of the three she already had; scrollwork on her bicep, a wolf on her shoulder blade, and a small date on her wrist that was the day she met Serana.

When she got back to her girlfriend and the others, an IPA in hand that was frankly piss, she told them about the girl in the fae dress.

"I saw her!" Serana exclaimed.

"Amazon."

"No way."

Next was food, especially if she was going to drink a beer. Assuming she actually drank it. "There's some food trucks," she pointed out. "I could go for a corndog."

"I'm going to get some mac and cheese," Serana said.

"Mom! Mom!" Luna's twin brother, Ian, tugged at his mom's sleeve. "Can we get pretzels?"

Chelsea sighed good-naturedly. "I suppose. Do you two want to meet up after?"

"Over by the stage?" Elayn suggested.

The group separated. She found the line for corndogs and funnel cake. While she was waiting, the woman ahead of her glanced her way, so Elayn said, "Howdy!"

"Hey there, hun!" She clapped her on the shoulder. "Having a good time?"

"I am," she said with a grin. "Everyone here is so nice. There were some moms back there handing out hugs!"

"Well, I'm a mom, would you like a hug?"

"I would love that."

It was a lovely hug, the woman was warm and smelled floral. When they separated, she said, "I'm Elayn! It's good to meet you. Can I get you a corndog?"

As she pulled out her wallet, the woman waved her money away. "It's Nessa, and actually, I'd like to buy you a corndog."

"You don't have to--"

Nessa laughed. "I miss my daughters, you'd be doing me a favor."

They chatted while the line went down, about lacrosse and about university. It turned out Nessa's two daughters went off to college in other cities, so it had been a while since she saw either. "I had a son," she said. "But now I have a very happy daughter, and I'm so proud of her."

"I wish I had a mom like you," Elayn said, thinking about growing up foster care.

Nessa grabbed her in another hug. "Now you do!"

When she got back to Serana and the others, they were listening to the music booming from the speakers. She had to yell to tell the group about her new mom.

Chelsea looked a little sad, because she could connect the dots, but Luna and Ian were too busy freaking out over the cotton candy Nessa had bought her too.

Not long after, the stage was occupied. Elayn was chatting with Luna with her back turned, so she missed it until Serana tapped her shoulder and turned her around.

"Holy shit!" She hollered and clapped at the sight of a gorgeous, sequin clad drag queen in four inch heels doing a backflip off the stage and onto grass. "Holy shit!"

As it turned out, the drag queens took tips, and it was at that point that Elayn knew she was about to spend a lot of money. Each queen that performed, and there were many, got a five in exchange for the sheer joy Elayn got when the queen before her touched her hand.

When there was a break in the performances, she went back to Serana, who had a smirk on her face. "Should I be jealous?"

Elayn cupped her face, and in a fit of sheer enthusiasm, kissed her girlfriend soundly, to the delight of the twins who hooted. "Don't worry, babe," she teased. "You're the only queen for me."

"Flatterer." Serana swatted at her chest, but the smile on her face was pleased regardless.

It was all a blur from there. Fair food, loud music-- and Elayn found beer that wasn't piss! She taught the twins a new vocabulary of cuss words the moment she found out their mom was fine with foul language. They parted around five in the afternoon, when a voice through a megaphone warned attendants that the festival was about to start catering to adults. There was a concert with more drag queens, this time in much more risqué outfits that Elayn would have given a kidney to see on Serana.

When she said something, her girlfriend got a light in her eye. "Really now?" she purred. "Maybe for your birthday."

By 11pm, Elayn was high on the party atmosphere and a few beers. The festival was over, and the walk back to their car would be a trick. "Did you have fun?" she asked Serana as they walked hand in hand.

She got a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad I have you. When are we getting married?"

"When I figure out how to surprise you with a ring."

#skyrim fanfiction #Modern AU #pride 2021 #Femslash #dragonborn #serana #Whoever gets the reference gets a cookie and to feel superior

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aphroditeslesbian · 3 years

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I was also raised 7th day Adventist and I’m a closeted lesbian. I don’t hate my religion..because I personally didn’t have a bad experience with it in my childhood, but it clashes a lot with my beliefs and well parts of my identity. I’m feeling a bit helpless because this religion has been a big part of my life, a lot of strong women I look up to in my life are sda, and my local sda community is very wholesome. And by now you can sense my reluctance in letting it go. I’ve been coping by thinking I should find a gay-friendly sda church once I move out.. if I ever get married. What’s your journey been like? 🪴

Hey! I don't meet a lot of sda online, it's interesting to hear a different perspective. I'm gonna go into everything, bc my experiences with sda really shaped me, and yeah, it's been a wild, not so fun ride.

Basically I was baptized catholic as an infant, but my family isn't practicing catholic. My mom is very religious, and wanted me to have a good education... In Brazil, we have very poor public education in primary and secondary school, and the best schools are the private ones... Which are also religious schools. So I wound up studying in a sda school from kindergarten to highschool graduation.

So from a young age (4 yo) I was raised on my school's religious beliefs. I was really involved, and my childhood best friend was also sda, she lived a couple floors down from me and we'd hang out often, and her family would bring me to church on Saturdays (there was a sda church across the street from the apartments we lived in). I was the staple Christian child, I prayed every night and every morning, apart from all the prayer at school ofc. At 8yo they did a talk at school about the importance of baptism, and I asked my parents to allow me to be baptized as sda. My mom surprisingly didn't want me to be baptized again, not so young, but my dad said I should do what I wanted, so I was baptized again at the school's church. Literally the school had an auditorium for our weekly religion-related classes, which we called "chapel", and was basically like going to church – but mandatory, as it was during school time. This specific school also had a church built on the side, so yeah.

During my early childhood through preteen years I had no issues with the school's teachings and sda ideology. It was all I had ever known, my family encouraged religion and we'd also sometimes (rarely) go to catholic church. I honestly didn't even realize people could not believe in god until I was 12/13.

I had never really heard much about being gay, or being anti gay during primary school - I may have forgotten having ever heard it from teachers. I only heard about homophobia from peers, and so I knew that being gay was a bad, evil, gross thing.

When I was around 11/12 we moved to a smaller town, and I started at a smaller Adventist school. I was the only one in my small newly found friend group who was baptized, and moving was very traumatic for me, so I started becoming less active in church. I became severely depressed because of the move and other stuff at home, and turned to the internet for a distraction.

I first heard about atheism from a youtuber, and he was known for his controversial takes (he's pretty nasty, it's only gotten worse with time but anyway). I guess a mixture of depression, becoming a teen, having my rebellious phase, I started researching into it.

My religion teacher (we had "religion" classes, but they should really have been called "7th Day Adventism classes") was much harsher than the one I had at my first school. This was around the time that Twilight was a big deal, and I read those books sooo many times for comfort, I got into Harry Potter etc. Not long after I moved to this school, we had a religion class about how Harry Potter was inspired by the devil. My books were often confiscated during class, even if I had already finished my assignments and was reading quietly, even if they were just on my desk. Being super depressed and introverted, with very few friends, books were my refuge. Having the teachers look down on them and literally say they were devilish and evil really started to shift my view of the religion. I knew these were good books, I loved them. So how could they be evil?

I have a very strong memory of praying and praying once and begging Jesus and god to help me, to give me a sign, because I was terrified of losing my religion, of losing god. All I had learned my whole life was that god is good, god is love etc. How come god wasn't helping me, my family, through some of the worst times? How come I was alone?

At around 12/13 my cousin came out to me as bi, and soon after another cousin came out as gay. I barely fully understood what that meant, and the internet was again where I researched about it. I realized I liked girls at the time, but I never understood you could even be married to a woman, as a woman. Even though I knew I liked and was attracted to girls, I never let myself think too much on it. The school was pretty obvious about how marriage is between a man and a woman, our "sex talk" was a class with our religion teacher. Bio talk was split, the boys left the room so we could learn about female anatomy and stuff, and then the boys had the room, etc. Our religious teacher was very adamant about how one shouldn't have sex before marriage, and marriage was between a man and a woman so...

Honestly the basework they laid was to erase homosexuality. I didn't even grasp that I could be anything but attracted to girls, I didn't realize I could do anything about it.

And then in highschool, I guess bc we were old enough, they finally started being outspoken about their hatred of gay people. There would be snide comments from the Portuguese/Lit teacher, a disgusting talk from the History teacher about how gay men's sexual activity leads to anal incontinence, the Religion teacher saying it was wrong, comparing it to criminality, the school's vice principal giving us a lecture and making sure to hammer in the worst thing anyone could turn out to be was homosexual.

At this point I thought I was okay with my same sex attraction, I thought these things weren't getting under my skin. But then I learned about being trans, and I came to the conclusion that since I was into girls, I couldn't be a woman. I identified as trans from around 15-19. That was internalized misogyny and homophobia, that was me actually letting all the snide little comments settle deep in me, and shape who I was.

Anyway, at around 14 I was done. School was teaching us that bastard kids aren't blessed by god (me and my siblings are all "bastards" as my parents were never married). They told us couples who lived together and we're never married were not blessed by god, and implied they were bound to have issues for their sin.

I was a teenager living in a broken home, my father was emotionally abusive to me and my mother, and honestly at the end of the day I had to choose if I wanted to believe in a god who was supposedly love itself, yet didn't protect me and my young siblings and my mom... Or not believe in god at all.

Leaving the church and coming to terms with not believing in god was one of the toughest times in my life. My depression was in the gutter, I was self harming, I was struggling. I remember thinking of my cousins, whom I was very close with growing up, and knowing they were good people, so how could god not love then? I remember thinking of myself, of all I had done for the church, for god, and wondering how could god not accept me.

For me, the church was poison. I only saw hypocrisy, I saw people who judged each other, who cared more about their own concepts of right and wrong than being mindful of others. I saw my teachers who preached being kind, but ridiculed and laughed at other religions and those who believed them. When I was questioning religion, I always had sooo many questions for my religion teacher and so often she just told me that some questions were too big for us to understand, that only god could fully comprehend himself.

I'm proud to have come out the other side, but I won't lie. The community that church represents does seem so lovely and welcoming. I wanted to be a part of something, and church offered that.

But at the end of the day, there's no space for me, a lesbian, in there. They don't believe gay marriage is okay, they don't condone our "lifestyle". They think this is a choice we're making, and a bad one at that.

The childhood friend I mentioned earlier, who I used to go to church with, actually came out as a lesbian a couple years ago as well. Her sda family is giving her a really hard time. She's left the church, last I heard.

Honestly, my advice would be to find other community. Find community with other lesbians, people who can accept you unconditionally, who can offer you support without small print. That's what I'm trying to do.

I personally am against christianity for a lot of other reasons besides my very negative experiences. Maybe that's not you, and in that case I guess finding a church that is LGB friendly can be the answer. I couldn't judge anyone for choosing to stay, because like I said I really understand how nice it can feel, how it's like you belong in this community, how it can feel like the church is family.

But I really suggest deep soulsearching, because in my experience all they ever did for me was suck all my energy, all my devotion, and spit me out when I was never going to be the heterosexual good girl they expected me to be.

Sorry for the super long answer, I hope this helps some? If you wanna talk more in private you can hit me up through DMs, I'm very willing to listen and talk about it.

#anti religion #sda #august rants #homophobia #lesbophobia #misogyny

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paulo-pup · 3 years

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Task 5: Family

Describe your character’s biological family. Do they know their family? Were they raised by them?

Paulo is the middle child of Valentino (Val) and Isabella Martinez. He has an older brother, Valentino Jr (Tino) and a younger brother, Rafael. Tino and his wife, Hannah, have quintuplet teenagers--Valentina, Gabe, Angel, Maya, and Carlos. Paulo has an infant son, Paulo Jr, often affectionately called PJ. It is a large family, only made larger with many aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents still living in the Dominican Republic. Unfortunately, Paulo has never physically met any of them, though the power of video chatting has allowed him to finally get introduced. Largely, he’s only ever known his immediate family. He was raised by both of his parents, who are extremely loving and supportive of all of their children.

What was your character’s relationship like with their parents? Their siblings?

Paulo has a great relationship with his parents. They supported him completely growing up, often going to PTA meetings to fight anyone who had a problem, such as Paulo playing on the boys teams. When Paulo came out as trans, they were a little confused at first but open to learning. It didn’t take long for them to become Pride Parents, going to every pride event that followed. Individually, he is close to both of them but in different ways.

Looking at father and son, you’d be surprised to learn they were even related. While Paulo is extroverted and talkative, his father is quiet and thoughtful. In that regard, one might think they don’t get along but it is quite the opposite. Growing up, Val was Paulo’s safe space whenever he needed to get away or something was too overwhelming. He always gave him the ability to relax, unwind, and never pressured him to talk about what he was going through. Sometimes, they would just spend hours fixing up an old car and not even saying a word. Whenever he needs a moment to think, he always knows he can go to his Dad.

Meanwhile, it is very obvious that Paulo is the son of Isabella. She is where he inherited his joyfulness and zest for life. Get the two of them in a room together and it will be a non-stop whirlwind of barely intelligible Spanglish. Growing up, Isabella was always the one that Paulo went to if he needed advice. They would butt heads sometimes, as Paulo was a “tomboy” and his mother wished that he would’ve been more feminine, having no other daughters. She was the one who expressed the most disappointment at losing her “only girl”. But after some education and heartfelt exchanges, she came around completely and is now a proud mother of three wonderful sons.

There is a ten year age difference between Tino and Paulo, and a four year age difference between Paulo and Rafael. This uniquely shaped both of their relationships. In Paulo’s eyes, Tino was the perfect man. He was who he wanted to be when he grew up. In that regard, he was always following him around and bothering him, which a teenage Tino absolutely despised. Paulo was the definition of an annoying little brother and Tino wanted nothing to do with him for a long time. It wasn’t until he got to college and started growing up a little that he came to understand that Paulo only wanted his love, and so he gave it more freely. He was there for Paulo throughout all of his transition and encouraged him to do the things he loved, such as taking a history minor. In their adulthood, Tino has been Paulo’s rock, helping him every step of the way, especially now that he’s a father. Honestly, Paulo has no idea where he would be without his brother.

Out of all the children, Rafael is most like his father, introverted and shy. In that regard, Paulo was the one dragging Rafael around everywhere, helping him make friends and come out of his shell. Being closer in age, the two were more likely to have brotherly fights and sometimes had to be broken up. In the end, Paulo would always apologize (as he was usually the one who started it) and they’d make up in a jiffy. In their adulthood, they maintain a nice relationship. Rafael has accepted himself as a less outspoken being than his family members and is fine if he only sees and talks to them once or twice a week. Paulo loves to keep up with his life and catch up the few times they do get to talk.

Found family can be just as important, if not more important than a biological family. Describe your character’s found family, and what their found family means to them.

One might think that because Paulo has a large, close-knit, healthy biological family, that he would not need a found family. Not so! Paulo cherishes many people in his life and considers those who he loves his family.

First, there is the friend group that has been with him since the beginning. Michael, Donald, Godfrey, Minnie, Daisy, and Clara--these were the people he grew up with and know everything about him. He would do absolutely anything for any of them and although sometimes they are apart, their relationships never diminish. Michael especially is his closest friend, closer to him than his brothers and his lovers, with an intensity that he doesn’t fully understand yet.

Ollie is another who recently joined their found family. They have been a lifesaver in helping take care of PJ, and he genuinely loves having them around. More than that, though, he can tell how desperately they want a family and he wants to be able to provide that. He is always inviting them over to family events and has accidentally introduced them as his cousin several times.

Overall, how did the idea of family affect your character.

Family is everything to Paulo. It has been such a necessity in his life and is largely the reason he seems so well-adjusted compared to many other Redwood Hollow residents. Paulo feels genuine hurt for those who don’t have a family and will offer his own for those willing to be open to it. He thinks its so important for everyone to have a system of love and support and thus tries to provide that wherever he can.

Thinking about the future, do they want to make a family of their own? What would that look like to them?

Well, he already has his own family. He has PJ. And he would be perfectly fine if it was just him and PJ for the rest of his life. But secretly, he does wish he had a romantic partner. Specifically, he wishes that PJ’s biological father, Finn, would come back and help raise his son. At the current moment, he does not want to have anymore kids but if he was in a committed, lifelong relationship, he would definitely consider having more.

Family Template (in order of appearance, left -> right, top -> bottom)

Valentino Martinez (FC: Danny Pino) - Val was born in the Dominican Republic into a small, but loving family. He met the love of his life, Isabella, when he helped her with her broken car on the side of the road. It wasn’t long before the two were married. They stayed in the Dominican Republic long enough for Isabella to finish her studies before she got a job opportunity in the United States. They packed up their things and took the first flight to a small town called Redwood Hollow.

Val was always the more introverted of the two, only compounded by the fact that he was not very confident in his English. He got a job at the local auto shop and spent his life working there, in between raising his family as the couple began to have children. He is extremely devoted to his family, as he often feels isolated as an immigrant and doesn’t have many friends. He’s tried to teach his sons everything he knows, which according to himself, isn’t a lot. Very recently, he’s retired from his mechanic job and now spends his time with his two favorite hobbies: anime and guitar.

Isabella Martinez (FC: Karen Olivo) - Isabella was born in the Dominican Republic into a very large and boisterous family. She always had a hard time standing out and would thus overcompensate in order to get attention. She met the love of her life, Val, when he helped fix her broken car on the side of the road. She married him in between her university studies of history, where her professor used some connections in the States to get her a job offer. They packed up their things and took the first flight to a small town called Redwood Hollow.

Isabella was always the more extroverted of the two, going out of her way to talk to people and make friends. She got a job at as an administrative clerk at the Hill Family Factory, where she got close to many of the other workers. She was constantly inviting people over, throwing parties, and showing off her lovely children to anyone who would listen. Her fiery personality is a double edged sword, as she is quick to anger and very stubborn. You would want to be on her good side but you really would not want to be on her bad side. She is the matriarch of the Martinez clan and makes sure that everyone stays close, no matter where their lives take them. Every Sunday she hosts a family dinner, though it is open to anyone. One day, she dreams of retiring from her job and opening a doggie grooming boutique. There has never been a point in her life where she hasn’t had a dog, though she prefers smaller breeds.

Valentino Martinez Jr (FC: Carlos Penagava) - Tino is a born and bred Redwood Hollow citizen. He grew up thinking he was cooler than everyone else and spent far too much time trying to prove it. He felt he needed to get out of the Redwood Hollow dump and live in the big city. He went to college in Chicago, where his small town bubble burst and he started to see just how hard people’s lives could really be. He switched majors and joined his college’s medical school, where he trained to be a nurse. It was while he was in college that he met his future wife, Hannah Cooper. After they got married and graduated, the two decided they wanted to have a family and it was Tino who suggested they move back to Redwood Hollow to do so.

They got a little more than they bargained for. Expecting to have one child, maybe two, they instead found themselves with quintuplets. It was a good thing they returned to Redwood Hollow, as they needed the help of the full Martinez family to raise these kids. Tino used this time to reconnect with his family and was truly grateful for their help. Now that his kids are teenagers, he’s a little less frazzled trying to juggle his family and career. Still, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Rafael Martinez (FC: Carlos Valdes) - Rafael is a born and bred Redwood Hollow citizen. He grew up mostly keeping to himself, too shy to make more than a handful of friends. He was a bookworm through and through, and often could be found in the corner of his mother’s social gatherings, ignoring everyone else.

The people that he most connected to were children. He is naturally good with kids and they bring out a different side of him that not a lot of people get to see. This was a huge help when it came to watching his nieces and nephews. He went to college to get his bachelor’s in education and has gone back to get his master’s for teaching. He knows he could get a job without it but he wants to be the absolute best teacher he can be in order to help every child (also a bigger salary doesn’t hurt). Especially with the quintuplets growing up, he really only sees his family for Sunday dinners and he’s fine with that. The love never diminishes from any side.

Hannah Martinez-Cooper (FC: Yael Grobglas) - Hannah was born in Chicago, though moved around most of her life due to her parent’s work. Once it was time to go off on her own, she decided to revisit her roots and found a place in the windy city, where she went to beauty school. She met Tino, and the rest was history. At first, she was resistant to moving to her husband’s hometown, but she agreed it would be better to raise a child there than in the city. What she wasn’t expecting was five children at once. In the end, she was very glad to have her husband’s family there to help.

Hannah is, for lack of a better word, basic. She works as a hairdresser at the local salon and asks you how your kids are doing. She is the type of person who has wooden “Live, Laugh, Love” and “Bless this Mess” signs all over her house. She has a wine glass with “Wine O’ Clock” etched into it which she drinks out of every night. She shares minion memes on Facebook. Despite all of this, the Martinez family has claimed her as one of their own and love her very much.

Valentina Martinez (FC: Isabela Merced) - Valentina is the first born of the Martinez quintuplets. She works hard to be the perfect child--getting good grades, volunteering, extracurricular activities, and a goal of becoming valedictorian. Much like her father before her, she thinks she needs to get out of Redwood Hollow and make a name for herself. Doing what? Everything, of course.

Gabriel Martinez (FC: Brandon Arreaga) - Gabe is the second born of the Martinez quintuplets. He is the class clown of the siblings and has used it to his advantage, becoming a TikTok star. He’s always posting comedy videos and prank videos, especially of his other siblings. At any given time you can find him looking at his phone.

Angel Martinez (FC: Ariela Barer) - Angel is the third born of the Martinez quintuplets. In the last year, they came out as non-binary, empowered by their uncle Paulo. They are the president of the Redwood Hollow GSA and will take any opportunity to school you on issues of social justice. They are Extremely Online and spend their free time writing My Hero Academia fanfiction.

Maya Martinez (FC: Emily Tosta) - Maya is the fourth born of the Martinez quintuplets. Following in her Uncle Paulo’s footsteps, she is a hardcore jock. She has tried every sport under the sun, though her favorites are hockey, lacrosse, and field hockey. Unlike Paulo, she is fine to play on the girl’s teams, as she really likes girls.

Carlos Martinez (FC: Ricky Garcia) - Carlos is the fifth born of the Martinez quintuplets. As the youngest, Carlos has a hard time trying to stand out, especially with the eccentric personalities of his siblings. He tends to fade in the background, which makes excellent angst and muse for his budding music career. He’s taking guitar lessons from his grandfather.

Paulo Martinez Jr - PJ is the son of Paulo Martinez and Finn Fischer. As a one year old, he doesn’t have much history but he is developing quite the personality. He’s a bright and curious kid, always looking to explore and put anything he can in his mouth. While he can get fussy easily, he’s just as easy to calm down with a quick distraction. He’s very sociable, open to be held by anyone, but watch out because he will pull your hair. His favorite toy is a little dog plushie and his favorite game to play is “I throw my toy and you give it back to me”. He has yet to say his first word but he will certainly babble your ear off. He is the crown jewel of the Martinez family and is beloved by all. This will surely not lead to a big head with age.

#happiestplacetask #happiestplacetask5 #headcanon #no trigger warnings because the martinez family is wholesome lmao

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thestartline · 4 years

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NYLON JAPAN February Issue - Stray Kids Eng Trans

The world based Stray Kids has appeared for the first time!

At the start of the year, I read a fortune telling column on some magazine, that I’ll have a new encounter during the latter half of the year. The new counter in the latter half of 2019 was with Stray Kids, and the fortune telling was true. The shock I had when I first saw Stray Kids. Their fluid but powerful dancing, vocals that captured anyone who listened to them, and their rap performance as goo as any hip hop artist. Anyone who sees their stage will for sure be captivated by them. For the first time, Stray Kids have appeared solo on a Japanese magazine, and on the cover of NYLON guys. After their debut in Korea in 2018, they quickly went on a very successful world tour, showcasing their popularity and significance not only within Asia but all over the world. They have finally announced their long awaited Japanese debut in March of 2020. As for a boy group which is world based, this might be something normal. We will introduce Stray Kids who will surely become the icon of all boys group, through their fortune tellings and special photoshoot by NYLON JAPAN.

Lee Know

Known for his powerful and flexible dance. From his beautiful sculpted face, he is named the “Dancing Gem” by the fans. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Lee Know

The year which will determine which direction to go forward to. Your surroundings might be surprised by your decisions in March. Your childish side will need to be toned down. There may be a possibility that you’ll wish to pursue something on the world level in August. Need to be cautious of your responsible nature and how you may try too hard at times. On your own pace, have fun both personally and officially!

Changbin

A skillful rapper known for his dark voice. Also highly regarded for his lyric writing. Often teased within the group. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Changbin

Your heart will be filled with happiness in 2020. During the winter, you will be concerned with your surroundings more than yourself which might be troubling, but by April, you will find a peaceful solution. From May will be a time to learn, and there will be more areas which will need to be understood. By September, you may possibly try something new! If you feel stuck, try relying on I.N.!

Hyunjin

With his sweet face, he is a visual that everyone admits. A dancer that leads Stray Kids. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Hyunjin

Anyone who sees you will understand its a happy year for you. If there is anything you wish to try, try saying it out loud! If it is accepted, April may become a fun month for you to delve into it. June and July may be a little challenging, but from August onwards, you will be once again surrounded by everything you love.

I.N.

The youngest in the member in charge of vocals. A natural airhead that is loved by the members. His dimples when he laughs is his charming point. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> I.N.

Your life will become richer, and you will step into something new. Early in the new year, a big offer might come your way, signaling your luck. During the spring, you will be strapped to something with history and order but think of it as a learning period! By September, you will be someone who is highly regarded. Your free spirit will always be by your side.

Han

In charge of rap but also a skilled vocalist; an all rounder. Part of “3RACHA” along with Bang Chan and Changbin. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Han

A year which you might have a lot of responsible jobs coming your way, but always remember that you will be one smiling at the end. From January, you might be caught up on the past, but your goal is April! You will have new ties in surprising places, and if you want to be acknowledged, set your goal for September and you will succeed.

Bang Chan

The leader of Stray Kids and the brain of the group. In charge of writing lyrics and songs as well as producing. From Australia.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Bang Chan

2020 is a year that might change things dramatically. From the start of the year to March, you will be able to rest. If you are sensitive to your surroundings, many new supporters will appear and you will have a strong wind to push you through in June. On the other hand, by September, you might possibly change tracks and be greatly successful. Your heart will be delicate so you will need the support of your members.

Seungmin

Mostly in charge of vocals. His skills earned him second place in his companies audition. Also speaks English well, and is an intelligent character. From Korea.

Fortune SKZ 2020 >> Seungmin

The hobbies and fun things you are absorbed in might become part of work for you, a lucky sign. From January, your luck with personal relations seem great as well. By spring, captivating job offers will come your way. In August, some difficult things might occur, but if you believe it is a chance for you to step up and endure it, you will be able to uncover a new self that you didn’t know about.

Felix

With his cute visuals, but extreme deep voice, he is well known for his gap. Pay attention to his sexy rap and sharp dance moves! From Australia.

Fortune SKZ2020 >> Felix

Both personally and officially, you will be happy. Be generous to yourself! There will be a lot of changes in January, but March and April will bring new chances and allow you get on board. You might be able to reach for something you have always been dreaming about in August. Be sensible in November to not be scolded at.

In the cold and brisk breeze, reminding me of winter’s arrival, I met Stray Kids in Seoul, Korea. They entered the set still looking sleepy. During the waiting times, they played with the cats on set, or teased each other, showing the natural sides of the group, the average age of the members being 19 years old. Different to the powerful faces they have on stage, another reason as to why they are popular. A little different to their normal styles, with the colourful outfits and ennui concept. Feel their first story through NYLON JAPAN.

Q. Firstly, please tell us how you feel about today’s shoot.

Bang Chan: As it is our first appearance on NYLON JAPAN, we are very honoured just by that. It has created a new precious memory for me.

Lee Know: Today’s set is a famous shooting area! I have always wanted to come here, so I am very happy to be here on such wonderful opportunity.

Changbin: It is a derelict amusement park, and it was great to be able to shoot in the unique atmosphere. I was able to have fun by feeling like I was back in my childhood.

Hyunjin: From the styling, it had a different feeling to our other photoshoots. Personally, I had a lot of fun as the costumes were different to usual styles.

Han: It’s been a while since we had a location shooting! As it is surrounded by mountains and trees, the air was good and I had a great time from the morning.

Felix: As we began filming from the morning, I felt refreshed and because we were with the members, I had a great time!

Seungmin: I have actually seen a Japanese photo book before, and it was interesting because I was wearing something similar as to what the model was wearing in the photo book. There were many cats in the set, and it was really funny to see Lee Know taking care of the cats because he seemed like a butler.

I.N.: The shoot was fun, but because I heard it was the ruins of an old amusement park, I was a little scared at first. However, the air was nice and I was able to shoot with a good feeling.

Q. You wore outfits with a lot of colours today, but do you have any styles you are liking recently?

BC: Always black! I think its my colour. All black fashion, I usually like to wear monotone looks.

LK: I actually am not really interested in fashion... I used to think about it before, but these days I like to wear whatever is most comfortable.

CB: As winter is approaching, I want to wear things that make me seem softer, or things that are large and relaxed styles.

HJ: I usually wear cute sweats, hoodie t-shirts, and big sweatpants so I think I’ll like to wear warmer things for the winter.

FX: Its getting quite cold recently, so I like wearing a fur hood outer these days! I like to feel the warmth from my outers.

HN: I don’t really prefer any fashion styles, but my style is quite showy compared to the others. The costume I wore today was colourful and I liked it, I want to keep trying lots of styles.

SM: I often like to wear long padding downs, long coats, trench coats, and long outers in general. Coats that go to my knees are warm and I like them. I was happy because my costume for today was a long coast as well. Its my style!

IN: I’m interested in street fashion these days, I used to like clothes that fitted my body, these days I like wearing wide pants, kind of like a newtro (new and retro) style.

Q. What is your favourite (pop) culture?

BC: I have always liked games, but recently, I’ve been busy and haven’t been able to do it much. But whenever I have a little time, I always want to do it... its a stress reliever for me!

LK: I watch a lot of films. Recently, I watched a film released in 2003 called “A Tale of Two Sisters” with Han. It was a horror film, but it was really great!

CB: I’m into music and YouTube. I’ve been listening to senior Kpop artists such as TVXQ and Super Junior, groups I was into when I was younger. On YouTube, I watch funny contents with fresh ideas.

HJ: I’m really into an artist called “Leellamarz” these days, I’ve only been listening to them. I have always been the type to only focus on one thing when I’m into it.

HN: I like band music, so I’ve been listening to “One Ok Rock”, and recently, I’ve been listening to an English band called “Young Blood”. It’s great.

SM: Listening to band music is a hobby of mine. After listening to DAY6 senior’s songs, I listen to a lot of rock bands these days. It’s great fun to listen to the vocals, keyboard, and bass individually. I don’t know many bands so I’m still learning. The band I began to like recently is “Green Day”. I think their music is fun and good. (Bang Chan began to sing Green Day) If I’m ever going to play any instruments, I want to try the melody parts like the guitar, keyboard, or piano!

IN: Rather than watching movies, I like reading reviews other people wrote. I like to compare my own thoughts to how other people found it. I look for many reviews and enjoy reading them.

Q. Then we’ll move onto questions about music. Unlike other groups, Stray Kids can self produce their songs which is a strength, but is there anything you pay attention to or focus on?

BC: We create our own songs and weave it into the concept, making a performance. And, I think it is the most important part about self producing is to definitely put our message into our songs. We believe it is our strength to be able to tell our message from the bottom of our hearts, and Stray Kids cannot exist without that, which is our self producing.

HN: As Bang Chan said, we like to make songs that our fans can understand, but what we focus on is having others relate to us. We try to incorporate all the feelings, anxiety, and experiences that people our age might feel into our lyrics, and we really try to have other people relate to us.

Q. What do you think are the problems of the people in their 10′s have?

HN: There are a lot of young people now that don’t know what to do with themselves now, right? They are facing who they are on the insides, but they aren’t sure. So, I focus on putting in the feelings of not knowing what to do, or not knowing which way is the right way in the lyrics.

Q. Next, I’ll ask a question your beauty. Please tell us the secrets on how you stay good looking all the time

HN: Honestly... I was born good looking so... hahaha! There isn’t anything. Next, fashionista Changbin!

CB: I think its better if you don’t stress if you want a nice or gentle look. Its important to think positively all the time!

BC: To take in nutritional food once every day! There’s no point if your body isn’t healthy!

SM: Rather than being good looking, I think it is important to keep in mind the feelings I had towards music when I started as a Stray Kids member. A straightforward heart!

FX: When I’m on stage playing with the members or performing, or when I am communicating with the fans, I think thats when we look the best.

HJ: Isn’t how good we look on stage the true style for us? Even when we make a little mistake during practise, we practise until we go on stage and make sure the outcome is a 100%. We can accomplish that because we try that hard. We heighten ourselves to the best version of ourselves, and as professionals, we showcase the perfect version on stage. I believe that is how Stray Kids maintain our good looks,

LK: I used to go on diets and care about how I look on the outside, but now I’m focusing on who I am, trying to face my own heart.

IN: Who I am on camera and off camera, me on stage and off stage, I try to make sure its all the same me. My definition of good looking is whoever that can be truly who they are, wherever they are. I always try to maintain that mindset!

Q. Okay, so how you maintain your good looks differs. How about a easier question now - please tell us anything that you specifically focus on in terms of eating habits

HJ: I always make sure if there are no eggplants in my meals! I really don’t like eggplants. The members always try to make me eat eggplants, so sometimes I eat them without noticing.

BC: There is something that I specifically focus on. It’s table manners. To not make noise when I’m eating, if I blow my nose I make sure I won’t trouble the people around me. It’s also important to chew a lot during meals, so I try to chew a lot.

SM: I don’t eat dinner the day before a shoot. Instead, I eat everything I want to eat for breakfast and lunch! I’m the type to lose weight if I don’t eat, so I make sure of how much I eat the day before.

HN: On off days, there are days where I don’t eat properly, but I have decided to eat something I really want to eat deliciously once a day! Within the group, I don’t have a lot of likes and dislikes, and I think I eat a lot. Even if I bloat the next day, there’s no point if I have no strength! Really, its an excuse though haha.

FX: I’m starting to like eating spicy foods! But, when I eat spicy foods, my body doesn’t handle it too well. I get stomach aches. Days before I have schedules, I refrain from eating spicy foods.

IN: I don’t snack at night! I really bloat easily.

Members: Han is a night snacker, so I.N. always says he’s envious of him!

IN: When I began snacking at night, I can’t stop. I eat the next night too... I can’t stop myself. So I made a promise with myself to stop. I allow myself to snack at night about twice a month!

BC: I try not to snack at night, but I usually can’t help myself and end up eating.

LK: To work out, I’ve been taking a lot of protein lately. I eat whatever I want to eat and take in proteins. I heard about green tea diet before and I was drinking Green Tea frappuccino but it was no use... But, salad and hamburger is good for dieting. Because its filled with carbs, proteins and vitamins, right?

Members: That’s Lee Know’s excuse!

CB: I should take care of what I eat, but I don’t. There is one thing I do focus on, though. I don’t eat cold food and cold drinks. Cold food isn’t good for the body... But, if there are only cold food, I warm it up in my mouth before I drink it in. It’s good for digestion too.

Q. The key content for this month is “fortune telling”, but have any of you had your fortune told before?

LK, HN, IN: We have!

Nylon: Did you believe the results from those fortune tellings?

IN: I was told 2015 won’t be a good year, but 2016 will be better...

HN: At that time, I.N. and I were part of a project. We went to a fortune telling together, and we were told “August will not be a great month” and August was really crazy. I was scolded all the time! Even the smallest things I was scolded for... I should only look at the positive things from a fortune telling, haha!

LK: I was told that my luck will go up when I’m around 30...

Members: Hahaha! How many more years do you have to wait?

IN: I actually don’t believe in fortune tellings. My parents went to a fortune teller before, and the fortune teller told them their son will either become a judge or a prosecutor. Thats why I didn’t believe in it... but, when I went with Han when I was a trainee, I thought fortune tellings are quite nice, so now I believe in half of it?

Q. A lot of the readers of NYLON JAPAN are people who treasure their individuality. Please give an advice or message to those who have dreams and ambitions.

IN: Don’t care about what other’s say about your individuality, and work on your own pace!

BC: There probably are people around you that accept your individuality, and people who relates to you and became your friends. I think it is important to be able to push on for what you enjoy.

HN: I want the people to talk about how happy and blessed they are. Even having a dream is a big part of happiness. I hope your dreams will come true!

Q. The theme for NYLON JAPAN’s 15th anniversary is “NEW POWER NO BORDER”, but is there anything of this that you relate to?

FX: NEW POWER NO BORDER! (in his native accent)

BC: We always say our greeting by saying “STEP OUT!”. This “step out” means “stepping out of the borders”. With our own style, and our own music, we want to step out of the borders! This “Border” means “border” right? That’s something I relate to.

Q. What do you want to tell the youths?

HN: There are people with dreams and people without dreams. Those who have dreams may stumble at some moments, and hard times may come along. But, if you can get over those hard times, your dreams will definitely be accomplished. For those who do not have dreams, don’t worry and look at who you are carefully. It’s not late when you find interest in something new, and I hope you’d be able to have some space for that in your heart. “Those who are talented cannot surpass those who try, and those who try cannot surpass those who have fun.” Even at the hardest times, trying your best won’t backstab you, and whatever you are doing, having fun is the best. I really want to tell them those words!

BC: It’s a little simple, but “Just enjoy!” Even at difficult situations, I think the winners are those who stay laughing. If you can have fun, good times will come. You’re still young, and life is long so “carpe diem” !

IN: Even if you can’t see the future, don’t worry about not being able to see, and it’ll be good if you focus on where you are now.

Members: Those are words for us too

Q. Within your busy schedules, what stimulates you?

LK: This is obvious, but STAY’s are a biggest motivation! This is a fact!

BC: We’re really busy and there are so many things to get done, but interestingly, when I’m talking to the members, I think “maybe the future is bright?”. I feel like I don’t have to worry. The members help me. The existence of a group is good for the energy too. We can take care of each other and stimulate each other!

Q. I didn’t think you’d enjoy this as much. Now, the interview has come to an end. Lastly, you announced your Japan debut! Please tell us how you are feeling about your Japan debut

BC: It has been about a year and a half since we debuted as Stray Kids in Korea, but we are “debuting again” in Japan, which is a new feeling. Everything is new and exciting! We really can’t wait for our Japan debut! We’re all very motivated! Fighting!

Japanese to English Translation by @yarn1003 (skz acc on twit)

!! Please give credit when reposting !!

#Stray Kids #Bang Chan #Lee Know #Changbin #Hyunjin #Han #Felix #Seungmin #I.N.#nylonjapan #nylon guys

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supergay-supergirl · 4 years

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why supergirl season 5 was actually good: sort of an essay

This has been sitting in my sticky notes for months and I figured now that I have a Supergirl blog, I can actually post it.

People love hating on Supergirl Season 5. And I get it. I admit that it had a lot of problems. But I did like the season overall, and there's enough out there about Season 5’s problems, so here is a post about some things that were great about Season 5!

1. Lena’s Arc

Apparently everyone hates how this was executed, but I really liked it. I like how 5A allows her to scheme and lie and altogether explore the darker (Luthor) side of herself, because only after experiencing what she’s been afraid of becoming can she fully come to know herself. I like how in 5x07, she gets to scream and cry, to express to Supergirl how much she’s hurting, and how betrayed she feels. I like how in 5x13, Kara finally accepts that Lena joining Lex was not her fault, and that she didn’t deserve to be manipulated (“From now on, you’re accountable for your own actions.”). I like Lena’s growing obsession with erasing human pain through 5B and the fact that we know exactly where her motivations come from, and we feel for her because we’ve seen how much pain she’s in herself -- but at the same time, we can still oppose her ultimately villainous actions, which leads us to hope for her redemption. (A lot of this is due to Katie McGrath’s stellar acting as well.)

I love how the season shows just how much Lex’s continual abuse and manipulation affects her, and shows her standing up to him at the end. I wish they had focused more on Lena instead of pushing her aside in favor of Lex in 5B, but overall I liked how they expanded on the Luthor sibling relationship from Season 4, even if it was missing some of the complexity of the previous season. And finally, I love the way Lena fights so hard to regain Kara’s trust in 5x19 (and succeeds!). It felt like there was more of a balance between the two starting from 5x13, where previously it had always been Kara apologizing and trying to gain Lena’s trust.

2. Supergirl’s New Look

PANTS. PANTS. PANTS. PANTS.

For Season 4, Kara the Reporter got a more professional wardrobe as she began to mentor Nia, and the switch to pants feels like the same thing for Supergirl. It completes the transition from “young adult” to just “adult.” It may have been reasonable to call Kara a “girl” in Season 1, but by now, she is an adult woman, and I’m glad that her wardrobe reflects that.

I was opposed to Kara’s bangs at the beginning of the season, but they have definitely grown on me. Like the pants, I think they mark an important change in Supergirl’s character, one that is better appreciated by the audience than the characters. Now, when I rewatch previous seasons, I think, “Wow, Kara looks so different now.” I didn’t think that when I rewatched episodes after Season 4. The bangs are a way to identify Adult Kara as having changed a lot from how she was at the beginning, and like the pants, I feel like they complete her transition into adulthood.

(But are the writers expecting us to believe that nobody who knows Kara would be suspicious that Kara and Supergirl got bangs on the exact same day? Seriously.)

3. Eve Teschmacher

In Season 4, Eve Teschmacher was a brilliant, eager-to-please young woman who (whoops) turned out to be evil. And she was great. But I was dissatisfied with her betrayal because it came so out of the blue, and it was a complete 180 without much buildup at all. Season 5 gave her the humanity that she was lacking, first with her mom, then with her desperation not to have to kill. Not to mention, some pretty badass fight scenes.

4. J’onn’s Swagger

J’onn’s storyline in Season 5 is not nearly as deep as in Season 4, and I see that as a good thing. Season 4 J’onn was wonderful and necessary, but in a season that has a lot of strong development for Kara and Lena, it was nice to have a relatively static character who’s at a good place in his life. Season 4 let J’onn discover the man he wanted to be, and David Harewood brings a new confidence to Season 5 as a result of that. It’s fun to watch him strut around in his supersuit and say normal things as if they’re great proclamations. It’s nice to see the happy, healthy adult relationship between him and M’gann. The easy trust they have with each other causes them to act more like they’re married than dating, as opposed to the younger characters who are often caught up in relationship drama.

5. Kelly Therapy Face

All the characters need a therapist, and they finally got one! Well, Kelly is technically a psychologist, which I believe means she could be a therapist but is not necessarily? I don’t know things. Anyway, it’s nice to have a calm, supportive presence in the group, and this effect is helped by Kelly Therapy Face. Kelly Therapy Face is the face Kelly makes when she’s listening to you talk about your problems. Kelly Therapy Face and her generally calm presence bring down the interpersonal drama of the group and solidify the idea that all these people are growing into full adults, with adult relationships and adult responses to issues. Their emotions are stabilizing, they’re building stronger support systems, and they’re gaining a better understanding of how the world works and their places in it.

This is more of a Season 4 thing -- this season really didn’t give Kelly the screentime she deserved -- but I also love how even though Kelly acts as a source of support for others, her own fear and trauma are rarely glossed over (see: the end of 5x05). This gives Kelly a humanity and realistic quality that many emotional-support characters don’t get. It also shows the key difference between Dansen and Sanvers: whenever Alex and Maggie had conflict, they swept it aside rather than working through it, leading to their eventual breakup, but when Alex and Kelly have conflict, they listen to each other and try to fix it. In accordance with their adult-ness, Alex and Kelly also seem to be in agreement that it’s okay to have conflict in their relationship (“And I might not know every little detail about you yet, but I know you,” 5x02).

6. Reality Bytes

Calling attention to violence against trans folk, exploring Dreamer’s dark side, and showing the strength of Kara and Nia’s mentor-student relationship in one episode? Just. Yes. Either Nicole Maines was projecting a lot or she’s a really good actor (probably both), but either way, as a trans person, I felt this episode on a personal level: the anger, fear, and frustration at knowing that your community is being targeted and the people you’re supposed to trust (i.e. the police) are probably not going to do anything about it. Additionally, Kara and Nia’s conflict in 5x15, and the fact that Kara compares Nia’s experience to her own, is a great marker of how far Kara has come. In Season 1, Supergirl felt a similar anger and hurt when villains sought her out, but by now, she’s more at peace and can offer Dreamer reassurance and comfort.

7. Brainy’s Plot

Brainy’s storyline in Season 5 is nice because it manages to remain stable as an important, but secondary, plot. It enhances the sense that there’s more going on than we realize and gives us a view into the scheming of the villains, while not taking over too much screentime or audience brainspace.

8. Jon Cryer

As annoying as it is that the writers gave up a lot of Lena’s screentime to Lex, Jon Cryer’s performance in Season 5 is just wonderful. He can go from acting totally in control to screaming in a matter of seconds. Lex Luthor is witty, assured, and charming in a weird way. On the other side of his personality, he is a madman who cares about no one’s interests but his own. Jon Cryer’s acting manages to package all this great but conflicting writing into a brilliant, awful, occasionally sympathetic villain who has more than his share of awesome (and terrifying) scenes.

9. Alex’s Grief

I like that Alex gets to let go of her emotions a little this season and express herself. Especially when Jeremiah dies before 5x16, Alex has a really tough time (and a mention of her possibly drinking problem! Expand, please!). She tries to escape from the pain of real life through virtual reality, but eventually realizes that she has to face her pain rather than avoid it, which is a major theme of the season. What’s great about 5x16 and the next couple episodes is that the other characters allow her to grieve. They could have told her to get over it and see all the happiness in the real world — it would have fit with the theme — but instead, they support Alex as she grieves. They listen without judgement when she expresses her anger that Jeremiah left and forced her to take care of Kara. Kara and Kelly are (mostly) understanding when Alex doesn’t want to go to Jeremiah’s funeral, and when Alex arrives late at the end of the episode, Kara lets her know how much she appreciates that Alex came at all. Throughout her life, Alex hasn’t had much opportunity to be herself and express her emotions, an idea that’s repeated over and over again starting from her coming-out arc in Season 2 or even earlier. Now that Kara can for the most part take care of herself and Alex has a good support system, she finally gets the opportunity to be vulnerable.

10. Andrea Rojas’s Moral Ambiguity

Is Andrea good or bad? Neither. She’s a person who wants love, success, and money, who does sketchy things to promote her company but also fights fiercely for her father and cares about the safety of her technology. Before Andrea, Lena was the main morally ambiguous character, and she could be categorized as “playing for her own team.” However, Andrea goes a step further, crossing into a territory I would call “not playing a game at all.” She’s just a human being trying to have a good life, and that causes her to do good things, bad things, and everything in between. In a show that often accentuates the difference between heroes and villains (“Don’t let them down by stooping to his level,” 5x15), Andrea is a reminder that most people aren’t good or bad -- they’re just living their lives.

TL;DR: They’re all adults now and Lena needs a hug.

#supergirl #supergirl season 5 #kara danvers #lena luthor #j'onn j'onzz #kelly olsen #dansen #nia nal #dreamer #brainiac 5 #alex danvers #andrea rojas

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cobieeliseforsh · 4 years

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I'm getting pretty annoyed with the amount of bullshit in the media right now. I just read an article about the "antisemitic" conspiracy theory Qanon. Calling Qanon antisemitic is like calling the KKK a group opposed to the career of Will Smith - technically true, but clearly a small subsection of a greater whole.

So, to remedy this...

COBIE'S FRUSTRATED GUIDE TO QANON FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND WISHES THIS ONE WOULD FUCK OFF BECAUSE IT IS BORING AS SHIT BUT NOT FIZZING WITH ENERGY, EVEN ON A MOLECULAR LEVEL, BECAUSE IT IS A DUMB AND LAZY REHASH FROM THE 80S OR EARLIER!

PART 1: DA FUCQ IS QANON?

Qanon is a grooming organisation for the Christian Far Right Death Cult that has held the Republican party in its sweaty hands since the ascent of Reagan in the 1980s. They believe in some bullshit I won't reprint here because I have no intention of spreading their ideology, but if you've heard of the Satanic panic, this is Satanic Panic 2: Now With Pizza!

Qanon is, by definition of their own supporters attacks on Muslim terrorism, a terrorist organisation. And, though it seems impossible, they're stupidier than ISIS ever were, because at least there was some twisted logic behind ISIS: poor young men fighting revolutionary wars against what they see as corrupt and immoral authorities and ideologies is nothing new. Qanon is literally the powerful declaring war on those without power out of fear that those without power (Satanists) live only to physically abuse their ugly, fat, prejudiced, stupid children. Despite the statistically most likely people to abuse them being them themselves, and there being plenty of evidence that many of these hypocrites have done that in the past (numerically many - one thing I believe Qanon followers on is that the majority are gullible Maud Flanders types, so statistically it won't be that many).

Donald Trump supports them over the "violent" Antifa (Antifa haven't killed anyone since 1993 (and that was a suicide), aren't actually an organisation, and are against facism, which Trump also claims to be against), despite Qanon followers carrying and firing weapons regularly, having shot up a pizza place in a terrorist act, refusing to wear masks, and other acts of violence designed to terrorise people.

PART 2 WHO DO THEY HATE?

Um... like, 98% of people.

Qanon is primarily an Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult. They believe in what they call SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) which happens at such a low frequency as to make it as serious a problem as being invaded by pookas. You might find anecdotal evidence here and there, but the majority of cases are hearsay spread by people who weren't there who were a part of or raised by people who were a part of the Satanic Panic. If you hear about it, it's likely bullshit. Just look at the West Memphis 3: accused of Satanic Ritual Abuse, they were sent to prison for wearing black clothes and being teenagers without any evidence. Now, whoever killed those boys is still loose, because Qanon, like all right-wing groups, is about being obeyed, not about justice.

So, with Satanic Ritual Abuse being fucking vapour, they can accuse ANYONE. And if there is no evidence, they cry COVER UP. There is no way, at all, to prove this mindset is wrong as it always self corrects, because being religious in origin, it is driven by BELIEF, not evidence.

So, whoever they believe is evil, is, as far as their reality tunnel goes.

Muslims? Evil child abusers. "But there is no evidence of that. In fact, the Muslim community is actually very protective of their children and other children. They're amongst the kindest people you can meet, even if their political leaders in their own countries are jerks." Well, says Qanon, that's because their community covers up the abuse. There wouldn't be any evidence. But my cousin went to school with a girl who was groomed by a Muslim. It's clear it is something all Muslims do. "But that's stupid. That's like saying that because Ted Bundy, a heterosexual white Republican, murdered loads of women, all heterosexual white Republicans want to murder women!" Now, says Qanon, you are just being silly. Besides, I believe Muslims are bad and Republicans aren't. You can't question my beliefs.

But we can, and we should.

Qanon followers use this vague structure to create complex webs that link up various conspiracy theories, but they aren't a complex web. They're just a list of petty grievances they have from living in their own personal echo chamber.

They hate women, they hate girls, they hate boys who don't conform to their expectations, they hate men who vote left-wing, they hate gay people, bi people, really anyone who isn't heterosexual, they definitely hate trans people (see: trans people want to use bathrooms to abuse children as merely an extension of the Satanic Ritual Abuse claims), they hate people with coloured hair, bright clothes, they hate Jewish people, they hate Muslims, they hate anyone from a fringe religion that doesn't look right, they hate foreigners, black and brown people... anyone they define as different. And to back this up, they claim to be "the majority" being dictated to be a "minority" - they aren't. They're a minority of gobby cunts, a Karen of Nazis (Karen being the best collective noun to describe these childish crybabies who were so desperate to remain in a state of childlike innocence they embraced both religion and then keep insisting their imaginary friend, Jesus, is following them everywhere, like a psychotic stalker ghost).

PART 3 WHERE DOES THEIR BULLSHIT COME FROM?

This is probably the most important part. Not what they believe, but where these ideas come from, and why they aren't new.

Qanon is a mixture of young-and-edgy YouTube/8chan influencer, white supremacist religious manipulation, pro-Capitalist Protestant religious "life is shit, embrace misery" ideology, pedophile hysteria, and "we hate the idea people have rights because we're power mad, but we're going to frame this as a backlash, normal people making their voices heard, a culture war, or whatever else we can rebrand PREJUDICE because even we don't want to admit we are bigots".

So, first of all, the angry white online teenagers: have always existed, will always exist. Their parents don't give a shit about them unless they cause trouble. So, they learn quickly that the best way to get attention is to cause trouble, which leads to kinship with other troubkemakers, forming an echo chamber of escalating troublemaking. But they're also angry, and often poor (in their eyes, or in actuality), so they're drawn to outrage, and like causing it. They're attracted to movements like this because they believe it's a chance to get some attention, someone to notice them.

And who notices them? White supremacists are always on the lookout for recruits. They feed their need for outrage and attention by misrepresenting everything. They take puff-piece news articles and shoddy journalism and further twist them into movements around positions that have no basis in reality. Vaccines? Designed to hurt you. "Uhhh, no," you say. "That's literally the opposite of what a vaccine does." I don't believe that, they say, and you can't question my beliefs. BLM? Terrorism. "No, they just want to not be shot." No they don't, they want to take over and put the Jews in power, and you can't question my beliefs! "You have no evidence!" COVER UP! they scream.

So it goes, so it goes.

Meanwhile, the Protestan work ethic of, "If you didn't suffer, you don't deserve it," goes on and on. They believe that shit things just happen, you can't stop them. Capitalism is founded on this very, very relugious principle: work should be pain for it to have value. This justifies promoting assholes, and making things difficult. But it also promotes the idea that you can't do anything to combat inequality, as that is natural, and you can't do anything to stop bad things happening, they always will, so why try? This lends Qanon a specific pattern: complain, do nothing, complain nothing is being done, still do nothing, repeat. It's wrong to intervene, you see. This allows them to say racism is bad, but God wants us to suffer so we deserve phony-heaven, a paradise they think is built on bricks of human misery... does that sound glorious to you? And if you have something, clearly you did suffer to get it, and so you are worthy, which is why Trump is a hero to them and they believe his every utterance of verbal diarrhea about him being persecuted (to be fair, he is, but he deserves it because he's lazy and incompetent).

Pedophile hysteria is also generally religiously motivated. Children should be protected, but they are not innocent angels. I've worked with children. Some are nice, some are sneaky, some are violent bullies, and so on. The one thing that unites all children is that they are ignorant. That's why we send them to school. And there are people who want to prey on children. The world we usually use to describe those who most often hurt, abuse and damage children is, "family". Promoting the idea of gangs of rampaging pedophiles snatching children into vans and harming them in shadowy rooms, or murdering them in some Satanic ritual, is laughable compared to the epidemic of children being harmed by those parents terrified the pedophiles are out there. Such fear motivates them to do untold harm to children, restricting their freedoms and their growth, teaching them that all sex is bad so they never enjoy it, forcing them to be things they aren't, and turning a blind eye to obvious abuse because those doing it are not the model of abuse being put out by the press and Internet communities. In that last way, Qanon is a driver of child abuse: it actively encourages Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult members to nit even ask the obvious question: if Epstein was abusing kids, and Epstein was hanging out with Trump, was Trump maybe involved in some way?

And then there is just the prejudiced crowd, most notably the American-exceptionalism delusional whack jobs. Let me be clear, all forms of exceptionalism are prejudiced, as they suggest that those who are exceptional are better and mire deserving than others, and the real world does not contain such hierarchies, just stuff that happens until it stops happening. A monkey may be the alpha, but one day they won't be. It's not a hierarchy, it's just a thing that happens that we project a power structure onto. Who knows what monkey culture is like? Maybe to them deference is more honourable and respected than being in charge. No-one has asked monkeys for their views of ideology or power structures.

This often manifests itself in ideas of, "We shouldn't be ashamed!" and that movements they don't like are, "Against us!" Well, if you're setting out to hurt people because you believe you are better than them, you should be ashamed. That queer Pakistani girl you keep out of college could have been the one to cure cancer! She might have had the unique perspective to make that breakthrough. And, yes, some of us are against Qanon, because Qanon is hurting people. That is the point of the movement: to harm its enemies, by denial if freedom all the way up to outright murder. It isn't a Pride parade or BLM demanding equality and an end to deaths, its a hate movement driven by a desire to punch down, and ultimately perpetuate the very system that isn't even working for those who follow its own ideology.

It's based on fear of the new, even if that new place is better than the old one, change can be scary. They think equality will hurt them, the way collective bargaining would hurt them. But we don't live in a system where resources are so finite you have to do without, we live in a system where resources are finite but we throw away an excess because capitalism couldn't make rich people richer by giving it to those who need it, so they dispose of it and introduce scarcity to drive up the cost. Working together would force them to stop doing that, which is why movements like this exist: to perpetuate a form of exceptionalism more like a cult, where only the leaders reap the rewards.

PART 4 WHAT IS THE END GOAL OF QANON?

It doesn't have one.

Qanon is a right-wing movement. Right-wing movements are about winning arguments now, and then feeling smug, even when the damage is undone later. It's about a sense of self-satisfaction, and not anything else.

Plus, Qanon has so many stake-holders who hate each other that the movement will eventually descend into cannibalism as all these things do.

Finally, being primarily religious in its design, it won't take long for many religious types to realise Q is kind if a God-like figure, a false idol, and when that happens, plenty if their leaders will become worried that their followers are so focused on Q they might "stray from the path" of donating all their money to their church.

Unless it turns out that Q is Q from Star Trek, in which case their end goal is to test Jean-Luc Picard.

PART 5 SHOULD WE FEAR QANON?

Nah. It's a group of fringe lunatics whose time in the spotlight will be fleeting. As I've already said, even their ideas aren't original - this is the Apocalyptic Christian Far Right Death Cult version of Fortnite stealing dances: everyone goes crazy about it for a bit, but it's so insubstantial in its original form, nevermind the cover band version, that almost all people with a lick of common sense will dismiss it. Plus, it doesn't serve any agenda: Trump could easily find himself on the receiving end of it, that one Qanon politician just elected will likely be marginalised the moment Trump vanishes, and having a single person won't sway any votes in such divisive times, which means they'll be proclaimed ineffectual soon enough, and with Epstein it is already showing that it isn't something which helps the powerful, meaning a lot of people who do have secrets will want it gone sooner rather than later lest it bite their own hands. Plus, they are actually harming people - and say what you like about the Republicans, they don't tend to respond well to the PR disaster of groups they side with directly attacking or killing people unless they are their own ACAB stormtroopers.

Plus, it's a bunch of saddos on the Internet. Chances are if you see someone screaming about Qanon and waving around a gun, they'd have done the same and screamed about lizards had it never got started.

PART 6 WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Stop giving them attention. This is one of the most BORING conspiracy theories ever created. Seriously, since 9/11, conspiracy theories have really gone downhill. They used to be about aliens and subterranean kingdoms, and now they're just attempts to misdirect pedophile hunters from the right-wing types who have covered up child abuse, and tie it to phony "think of the children" and "Satan is out to get us" religious hysteria.

With covid-19, the press is having a very slow news cycle, so they're desperately grabbing at anything that can drive search engine algorithm clicks to their sites, so they're covering Qanon because they've seen it trending. I doubt most people involved with it really believe in it, but it is so directionless that it wouldn't matter if they did. Qanon Con would descend into bloodshed fairly quickly because everyone would be angry and arguing that the tater tots are secret SRA code for cannibalising children or that it reveals that Hilary Clinton buries children beneath fields of potatoes. It's stupid, the people involved with it are stupid, and the bigger question is what they believe that led them to this:

Disenfranchisement. Having to respect the beliefs of others. Prejudice. Anger.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo. If these shitbags actually want to stop harm to children, maybe stop supporting gun rights so kids aren't being gunned down in schools, and black kids don't keep getting gunned down everywhere. Until you do that, Qanon, you're the child abusers.

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