#one of those obsessive artists about this one

[animeyanderelover]

Sfw and nsfw hcs for the Arcobaleno (khr) all sharing an SO, please!

Just to be completely sure that no one misunderstands, we’re talking about the Arcobaleno in the context that all of them still have their normal bodies! I also included Lal Mirch instead of Luce just like you requested in another ask.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, toxic relationship, obsession, stalking, manipulation, blackmailing, overprotective behavior, stalking, guilt-tripping, isolation, abduction, threats, death, polyamory, Nsfw, sensory depravation, ropes, handcuffs, threesome, edging, blowjob, corruption kink, overstimulation, tentacles, voyeurism, size kink, afab reader for the Nsfw part

Sharing an s/o

Under normal circumstances it is highly unlikely that all seven of those people would be able to share one darling yet the one thing that is going to play the one deciding factor is that all of them are holders of the Arcobaleno Pacifiers. It is this fact that single-handedly holds this entire team together yet even within this largely very reluctant and begrudging agreement there is always conflict, distrust and betrayal involved. There are Arcobaleno who get along better with another Arcobaleno and who actually team up together when sharing you as well as protecting you from another Arcobaleno who is distrusted amongst others. Then there are Arcobaleno who actively scheme how to get their hands on you all by themselves, who might even be ready to ignore the overall duties they have only to never succeed due to the effort and strength of the other Arcobaleno. Peace is fragile and chaos ensues more than often and despite best efforts sometimes you get dragged into those fights. It is no one's intention to harm you though if you were to be hurt during the conflict whoever was responsible fotr the escalation will be shunned and forbidden from getting close to you for a long time.

Seven of the strongest people are protecting you and loving you so it isn't an understatement that you are possibly one of the best protected people in the world. You have the strongest Martial Artist, the strongest Hitman, a brilliant scientist, two combat experts, an illusionist and a man known as the "Immortal Stuntman". Only a suicidal fool or delusional maniac would attempt to harm you or use you as a hostage as even if only one of them were obsessed with you this would be a task considered highly difficult or nearly impossible. Still, some measurements have to be taken so you are moved to another house in a more secluded area. A decision not easy for you, especially since you are most likely not alright with the thought of having to be the lover to seven of the strongest people on earth. By choosing the place you would call home from now on the Arcobaleno have also ensured that the place is well protected and have installed multiple other safety measurements. Verde has installed cameras, Colonnello and Lal Mirch have set up traps and the entire interior is filled with secret passages and weapons in case an intruder gets into the house.

You are familiarised enough with the hidden doors and the passages that you will be able to hide safely if there should ever be an occasion where someone even manages to bypass the traps as well as the security system yet you are never told enough so that you are enabled to make plans to escape this place. Normally the Arcobaleno try to see it through that at least one of them always stays with you as technology and secret passages can only do so much to protect you. It is no denial that there are one or two members who the rest wouldn't like you to be left alone with for an extended perios of time as a trustworthy and reliable Arcobaleno would then have to stay with you as well, so little trust is given to those specific people. It isn't common for all seven to gather together as they are people who travel all over the world and still have missions and assassinations to fulfill meaning that there is quite an influx as well as efflux of them. Some of them only stay for a few days, others manage to spend weeks with you before they have to leave again. It is due to the increased risk that would appear the moment you were to leave your home that keeps you locked up like a princess in a fairytale.

Now that we have established some of the basics let's talk more in depth about each singular member as well as their role in this arrangement as well as how well they would get along with other Arcobaleno and if they would even go as far as teaming up with other members:

🐍​Fon enjoys the trust of most of the other Arcobaleno and is essentially working as the peacemaker more than once, especially when tension and conflict arises as he always remains calm and composed with an admirable patience that doesn't waver even when other members snap at him. He's the one who explains the situation that you are in when you are initially brought to your new house and he is due to his serene composure the one Arcobaleno you find yourself seeking out the most when you're scared or when something is bothering you as he always lends you his ear whilst offering to prepare you some tea to soothe your anxiety. He's observant, in tune with your emotions which is why he often senses that something is bothering you long before you even consider talking about it. Fon is a very lucid person who gives you more lenience than some other Arcobaleno do yet he is not actively coddling you, fair in his judgement even if it involves punishing you for a mistake you did or a rule you broke. The martiat artist is arguably the one person you trust most, a fact which elicits jealousy and competitiveness from other Arcobaleno when they take notice of it.

🐍​Traits that make him up boil down to his protective nature, lucid mind as well as a subtle streak of manipulation that he uses. Despite his abilities and his strength Fon is tame if compared to some of the other Arcobaleno yet he is one of the people who arguably influence you the most. He's good in gaining your trust which is why he arguably manipulates you the most in the least suspecting ways as he guides you through your new life and coaxes you to be more understandable and less hostile about everything. Something that Reborn points out to him when both of them are alone one time, a sly grin o the Hitman's face as he states that Fon truly is a sneaky snake for being the one slowly pushing you to accept your new life the most and even talking you into feeling a sense of peace even though your situation is so far from what should be normal. Fon only gives him a serene smile, merely remarking that he finds Reborn's perspective interesting as he never confirms nor denies if Reborn is actually correct with his assumption or not. Overall Fon is in a unique position as he works decent together with everyone, even dysfunctional members, yet never teams up closely with anyone.

Nsfw

🐍​Patience is a virtue that will be rewarded. Fon plays by those rules which is why he is rewarded as you not only willingly approach him but also by being the first Arcobaleno that gets to be that intimate with you. He wins the little competition going on amongst the group and even though he pretends to be humble deep down he is secretly proud that he's your first. You don't regret that decision you made even after you have pretty much made experience with all other Arcobaleno. Fon is kind, soothing, understanding and he guided you through the entire process as you were nervous and due to that slightly tense during your first time with him. He always guides you through it even after you have gotten a taste of everyone and it is this reassurance and patience that always draws you back. He makes you feel loved and adored in a way that has butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, knows how to soothe any insecurities you may have about your own body and lets you feel just how much he desires you. You're low-key obsessed with the dragon tattoo on his left arm and he always lets you trace your fingers over it, enjoying the way your fingers brush over the ink.

🐍He uses incense, body oils and is extremely gifted with his hands. He knows where to touch you, knows how to relax your muscles up by kneeding and massaging your flesh or easing his long digits into you before starting to pump in and out of you, coaxing your walls to loosen up for later. He could give you a massage without it getting sexual but the problem is that his hands feel way too good to the point where your pussy is always soaking wet at one point and obviously he always notices the way your body reacts to his hands squeezing your flesh. Even despite knowing your answer most of the time already he still asks you for your consens before he proceeds, letting you cum once around his fingers before he removes his own clothes and climbs on top of you, his body pressing against your back as he presses kisses against your skin all whilst grabbing your hip and guiding it slowly up until you can feel the tip of his erection pressing right against your hole. Fon seems to like creating relaxing environments, another example being how he likes easing you onto his cock during a hot bath all whilst praising you and pressing kisses against your chest and collarbone.

🐍​Sometimes though it feels like there is another side hiding beneath that gentle exterior as you remember vividly how he reacted the first time you actually undid his braid and tugged at his longer hair, recall the abrupt hiss he let out before he shoved his hips with an unknown force against your own which caused your body to slam almost painfully against the edge of the bathtub. There was a short glimmer of something wild in his eyes before it quickly disappeared and he apologised to you. It is Reborn who whispers to you that there is a feral dragon hiding underneath that tame facade, one who is merely holding back to not break his precious lotus. You don't fully believe Reborn though which the mischievous man takes as a challenge. One time. One time Reborn manages to not only break Fon's polite and patient exterior but also joins him and you still don't know what exactly the Hitman said or did to get Fon so worked up. You only know that you are about to take a shower before both men walk in with a darkened gleam in their eyes. When you turn to Fon with questioning eyes he merely tells you that nothing is wrong all whilst his hands quickly free you from your layers of clothing.

🐍​There are two greedy pairs of hands touching you, lips traveling all over your skin, tongues and fingers exploring your sensitive walls and coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of you. There's Fon shoving your back against the large mirror in the bathroom, your legs wrapped around his hips as he thrusts into you with a speed and force that was previously unknown to you all whilst murmuring against your lips that you have no idea how breathtaking you look right now. There's him showing Reborn how to tie you up all prettily like a present waiting to be unwrapped, a skill you never knew he possessed before. There's the memory of sitting in Fon's lap, his long cock splitting you open and his lips travelling over your neck and back, his hands massaging your breasts whilst you are sucking off Reborn, two of your holes occupied at the same time with Fon occasionally reprimanding Reborn to go slower when noticing that you're struggling only for the Hitman to retort that both know that he's secretly enjoying it. Unsurprisingly you struggle to walk the next day. There's a subtle tension between them after, occasional glances they share which makes you wonder if you'll soon be ruined again.

🔫​Reborn may be on a more mischievous side yet next to Fon he is also someone who most Arcobaleno trusts when it comes to your safety and protection. After all he’s the world’s strongest Hitman and his confident and charismatic personality manages to keep the little semblance of harmony within the group mostly together as well. In many aspects Reborn is actually like Fon yet he’s much more playful and sly about the way he presents himself. Still, no one can deny that there is an aura of intimidation he allows to slip out, especially if some other members of the group start acting out of hand and every Arcobaleno has had at least one moment where they were slightly scared of him. The Hitman is mindful to not let you be too frightened of him though even if he's naturally just on a more intimidating spectrum. It isn't the only reason why many Arcobaleno are careful around him though, it is also because Reborn is notoriously mischievous and comedically sadistic, Skull is by far his favorite victim to bully and torment. Reborn is aware of his feelings and he is honest about them to you and he loves pushing others buttons as well so that you get a glimpse of their darker feelings for you as well.

🔫​Perhaps it is the honesty that you appreciate about him. Reborn is not one to sugarcoat anything, his words precise and straight to the point. He doesn't lie to you and in return you learn to be honest around him. Even if you do lie, Reborn can expertly deduce from your body language that you're not telling him the truth. Despite the natural aura of intimidation there is an air of composure and professionalism surrounding him that draws you to him, especially once you ask him what being a Hitman is like. You don't expect him to actually tell you some stories where he may not go into too much details but still tells you truthfully about assassinations he did and people he killed and despite the horror of those stories the way he speaks about those experiences fascinates you. In line with his impish nature he loves scaring you, often appearing behind you without you noticing him until you turn around and get a small heart attack to which he flicks your forehead amused. All of his confidence aside Reborn actually teaches you how to use a gun, justifying the decision to the other Arcobaleno by explaining that they should always prepare for a what-if-scenario, no matter how small it is.

Nsfw

🔫​Reborn and Fon have always been the two Arcobaleno that enjoyed the highest chances of spending time with you due to their capabilities so Reborn has always tried goading Fon into a little bet to see who you would trust first with satiating your sexual needs. Fon never complied with his teasing challenges though, deeming them to be childish. Nevertheless though, Reborn still notices that under all that humble appearance Fon is secretly feeling victorious that you ultimately choose him at first if the subtle glances he gives the Hitman the day after are anything to go by. Colonnello is someone Reborn has always considered his rival and by extension someone he considers his equal yet ever since the mutual obsession for you has been born the Hitman has learned to respect the martial artist a lot more as well. Yet Fon is one of those Arcobaleno that only expose their gentle and kind side to you without ever revealing the savage desire simmering beneath, something that Reborn intends to change. He knows after all that Fon is restraining his need for you and it is when you deny his words that the Hitman truly starts prodding and goading him until Fon snaps and gives in to his wants.

🔫​Reborn is more open about his own desires for you though he's not drooling pathetically like Skull over you. No, instead he's slick, he's charming, he's a tease. He wants you to approach him and beg for him, especially after he knows that Fon got to know you on first base. He whispers in a low and husky voice suggestive things into your ears as he suddenly presses up from behind you, large hands grabbing your hips and pushing your rear even tighter against his bulge, warm lips pressing against the shell of your ear before he suddenly lets go and leaves you standing there as a confused and flustered mess. He has a dirty mouth yet his words are smooth and his voice is melodic as he whispers his little fantasies into your ear, pushing you and testing your limits. Despite his slightly bolder approach he still remains patient though he will admit that he has jerked off to the image of you once or twice when he indulged a bit too much in teasing you, your scent still clinging subtly to his clothes as he strokes his thick and aching length. He isn't even ashamed to hint to you that he may or may not have touched himself whilst thinking about you.

🔫​Your first time with Reborn is wildly different than your first time with Fon. Reborn is a sadist yet he is weirdly gentle throughout it all as he bullies you. Dirty nicknames and dirty talking is absolutely involved though you can't be completely mad when he talks to you in his smooth and deep voice, the arousal still adding a tinge of humiliation that you actually enjoy being called such names and the expression you give him when he asks you if you actually get off of it is priceless and something Reborn greatly treasures. He likes involving pretty lingerie, handcuffs and blindfolds whenever he has you all for himself and he is bold enough to see it through that you're loud enough for other Arcobaleno in the house to hear you to let them know how much pleasure he brings you. He is a dom, has a thing if you call him "sir" in the bedroom and discovers that letting you wear his hat whilst you bounce on his dick is a dangerous sight that he plans to indulge more in. I imagine him as someone who is over 5'11 so if his darling should be notably smaller than him prepare for him to develop a major size kink since he knows that he's well endowed down there.

🔫​If there is one person though Reborn finds himself often teaming up with it is Colonnello. They've been rivals for a long time now and compete frequently over you all in a still amicable but competitive way. That rivalry reaches new heights once Colonnello has gotten his own taste of you as well which expands their competition to the bedroom. Both actually ask you who you think did better for the first time, Colonnello much blunter than Reborn yet when you are unable to answer you quickly find your nude body pressed between both of those fine men as you're tugged back and forth as both want a taste of you. From that moment on it is a competition of who can make you cum first, who can make you cum faster, who can draw the most orgasms out of you and the list goes on and on. Colonnello accidentally rips the lingerie you wear apart, only grunting out an apology as he squeezes your ass and devours your lips. Reborn can't fully blame him though as he's sure that if he would have any less self-control he might have done the same. It's going to get loud as you aren't allowed to keep quiet nor does Colonnelo make any efforts to hide his grunts and groans. Reborn is the only one who stays quiet.

🔬​If there is one Arcobaleno everyone collectively doesn't trust, it is Verde. Verde is a man who is only fueled by his own interests and fascination to the point where he is even willing to ignore his duties as an Arcobaleno and break the agreement. This is why he is never allowed to be left alone with you as there is always going to be another person staying with you when it is his shift to watch over you. The scientist is as you probably expect nothing short of displeased by this, chides the other Arcobaleno for this immature and distrusting behavior but it isn't like he doesn't know that if he could, he absolutely would keep you all for himself. His entire obsession started far more begrudgingly though as he has always only ever cared for his research which is why he initially didn't appreciate just how much of a distraction you were to him. After all he has dedicated his entire life to science so to figure out that his focus is getting split between his research and his newfound obsession with you initially made him dislike you a lot to the point where he briefly considered getting rid of you to regain his self-control. He doesn't believe in curses yet to him you are a curse for making him so obsessed.

🔬​You can't necessarily say that you feel comfortable around Verde either. He disturbs you, creeps you out in some moments and all of that is mainly because he approaches his obsession with you like any true scientist would do with something unknown. He observes you, he actually creates a file solely for you and he notes down everything he finds out about you all in hopes of figuring out what it is that fascinates him so much about you. To the great agony of most other Arcobaleno he is the closest thing to a doctor that they have, a fact that Verde attempts to use to his advantage as he claims openly that he would rather not have some amateur doctor examining you when he not only knows so much more and would notice any symptoms so much faster but also because he would find a cure infinitely better for any illness you might catch. Often he approaches you in order to brag to you about his inventions only to get offended and end up schooling you about it when he realises that you aren't able to follow and it isn't uncommon either for him to rant about the incompetence of other Arcobaleno to you, especially if he doesn't agree with their decisions which often ignore his own suggestions for good reasons.

Nsfw

🔬​Frankly spoken, he is disgusted by the behavior some of the Arcobaleno show when it involves sex and it almost makes him glad at times that he spends so much time in his laboratory that is included in the house you are kept in with walls that shield him from any noises when one or two other members currently have their fun with you. There is one time he vividly remembers where he was with Fon and Reborn currently in the house, spending time in the laboratory for some research only to leave his room to hear loud moans, grunts and creaks coming from the bathroom which promptly led him to retreat back into his safe space, his hunger completely gone. He's only mildly disappointed that it is Fon who got tempted by Reborn as he has always liked to give the Martial Artist slightly more credit for discriminating against him less than other members of the group. It wouldn't have been a surprise if it would have been Colonnello with Reborn as those two often tagteam though in hindsight he is somewhat glad that it wasn't the combat expert as Verde has already once gotten the displeasure of hearing just how vocal the blonde man is when buried inside of you.

🔬​Before any of the other Arcobaleno knock you up he prescribes you birth control pills, unwilling to risk being the one who would have to help deliver a screaming baby which would only add more chaos and give him an even bigger headache. His ire about the unbelievable behavior in regards to sex is something he expresses with greatest displeasure though, especially to people like Reborn and especially Colonnello who he accusses of sounding like a goddamn animal in heat. Once again it is Reborn who likes to push Verde off of his high horse by telling him that he is probably going to be one of the freakiest of them all once he gives in to his own desires as well. Oh, how you wish that Reborn would have been wrong with this assumption yet you indeed discover one day that the Hitman was right once again as you find yourself strapped to the hospital bed in his laboratory, completely naked all whilst Verde shuffles around in the shelves whilst admitting to you with a twinge of annoyance that he has had enough of you getting fucked senseless by the other Arcobaleno before he pulls out a blindfold, a gag and a vibrator. He hates to admit it though, now he's gotten curious as well.

🔬​This truly feels like some sort of roleplay where he is the mad scientist and you are the unfortunate test subject and you dread to ask him if he thinks about this current situation as exactly that. Indeed Verde treats his first time with you like a study though and as the dedicated scientist that he is he truly wrings out everything he can until you feel like jelly. He observes every twitch of your body, every increase of your heartbeat, every hitch of your breath as he prods around your body before he slowly pushes his gloved fingers inside of you, the rubber material leaving an uncomfortable burn that has you squirming around, your whimpers muffled by the gag he has forced you to wear as he wouldn't want you to be a screaming and moaning mess as it would only distract him from his research. The relief when he finally pulls his fingers out of you is only short-lived though before he pushes the vibrator inside of you, testing out the different levels to see to which one your body has the strongest reaction. It is when you have your first orgasm that there is a spark of enthralment as he observes how your body unwinds and you lose control over yourself for a brief moment.

🔬​As a dedicated scientist Verde is quite finicky about hygience cleanliness and perhaps that is why he initially is somewhat hesitant to touch you without gloves and get very close to you whilst risking to get himself stained in bodily fluids. Yet his attention has been already captured the first time he witnessed you having an orgasm. One thing about Verde is that he refuses to jerk off when he has a boner even if his own sex drive is lower in comparison to other Arcobaleno. He won't reduce himself to a desperate and horny mess which means that he guides you to his laboratory as soon as he has a persistent problem he is unable to get under control. Sometimes you find yourself sitting on his lap, cockwarming him with only parts of his your clothes and his clothes discarded whilst he's getting some last work done before he finally focuses on you, finally ending the uncomfortable ache you've been feeling, other times you find yourself strapped to the hospital bed once more whilst he has you cumming around different vibrators or around his cock. If there is one thing you can give him though is that he always medically ensures that you're fine after he's done with you. He's no goddamn after all.

🩵​Colonello is the first one amongst the Arcobaleno who actually exhibits some delusional tendencies though to people like Verde and Reborn it is obvious that he is just searching for some justification to avert the guilt he occasionally feels for influencing your life in such severe ways. His delusions are tied together with his protective tendencies with which he ends up explaining his own actions to you. He had to do what he had to do. You wouldn't know that as you were a few months ago nothing more than a normal citizen but if they wouldn't have isolated you and erased all traces of you enemies would have come for you as well as all the people that you cherish and love. He's sensitive about this topic and if you push him too much he might end up snapping, otherwise Colonnello is someone you find yourself getting along with. Sure, he tends to be on a louder side which may startle you considering that you spend much time around quiet people like Fon or Reborn but his energy is quite refreshing, especially since he advertises for more freedom for you. Whenever he returns to your new accomadation he always brings you a souvenir from the place from which he came.

🩵​Colonnello finds himself often working closely together with Reborn as well as Lal Mirch which actually makes him the Arcobaleno who has the most allies amongst the group. Technically Skull can be added to that list as well though Reborn and him just end up bullying the poor guy and using him as some sort of errand boy who they constantly boss around. He doesn't have per se any issues with any of the Arcobaleno though Verde and him have some bad blood running between them which has led the combat expert to provoke and trigger the scientist on more than just one occasion. You always assumed that Reborn was the most straightforward person in the group yet he is subtle in comparison to Colonnello who has an equally sharp tongue but expresses things in a much blunter fashion than his rival. When both of them are together they always seem to have some little competition going on between them for who can flatter or embarrass you faster or who you consider more handsome. The Blue Pacifier holder is passionate about his feelings for you, hardly manages to keep his hands to himself and when he's around he always likes to have some physical contact with you.

Nsfw

🩵​As already established, Colonnello is very straightforward, very touchy and very passionate and those three words describe him best in every aspect of the relationship. Similar to Reborn he really doesn't hide his fantasies though he doesn't coat his words in the same charm as the hitman. He really is just that blunt though maybe it is this almost brutal honesty about his dirty thoughts that entices you. He's eager which causes him to be almost too aggressive at times, especially during your first time together with him. Things escalate quickly the moment you don't stop him during the first passionate kiss and before too long clothes go flying as he shoves you against whatever surface your body hits first as he really couldn't care less if you two do it in the bedroom or somewhere else. It's not without risk to fuck somewhere else in the house if another Arcobaleno should also be in the house but Colonnello's true shamelessness truly is exposed when he asks you in a raspy voice if it really matters if they see the two of you or not. Fuck, he wants them to see you, to see how good he makes you feel. If he fucks you, others will know because Colonnello is not exactly quiet.

🩵​It is this boldness which has led Verde to actively despise him as he has been made a victim one time by walking in on Colonnello fucking you roughly against the refrigerator and it is this uptight reaction of the scientist and his active condescending complaints to the combat expert that has led the holder of the Blue Pacifier to actively torment the green-haired man when both of them happen to be stationed together. He'll see it through that Verde will exactly know what he's doing to you and even if the scientist locks himself up he will always hear the two of you going at it. It gets especially disgusting for Verde if the two of you fuck somewhere else in the house since Colonnello loves making an absolute mess. That doesn't only include broken objects but also stains left behind by bodily fluids. More than just once he has accidentally ripped clothes of yours apart in a short outburst of impatience as he is desperate to get his hands roaming all over your skin. He usually apologises sincerely after he is finished with you and is calmer again, promises you to buy some new clothes though you wonder if they'll suffer the same fate eventually when his lust gets the better of him again.

🩵​As mentioned in Reborn's part, it is not uncommon for both of those men to team up together when it comes to doing dirty deeds and they are truly a killer combo together. Once he witnesses how Reborn has you calling him "sir" he starts developing his own kink of having you referring to him with a name and unsurprisingly considering his name he wants you to refer to him as "colonel". He curses himself for not having figured it out sooner that he fucking loves hearing you calling him that as it fills him with a thrilled kick that he has never experienced prior to taking an example from Reborn. Since both of those guys are dominant they occasionally end up fighting who gets to fuck you first in which position and in which hole though you will end up in either case in different positions, handed around as if you are a mere doll for them to use however they please. Things sometimes get even more crowded when Both Colonnello and Reborn decide to only bully Skull further by inviting him over yet not allowing him to participate nor even touch you, forcing the poor guy to watch as you bounce on their knees or are fucked from behind.

🩵​Lal Mirch is another Arcobaleno that Colonnello teams up with when having sex with you though in this case it isn't based on rivalry and instead on mutual love for each other. It is a break that you sometimes just embrace as you know that he is going to be less commanding and extreme with Lal Mirch around who treats you with more care even though you know that she is always a tad bit awkward and nervous when she is making love to you and that embarrassment is amplified when Colonnello is around. It actually takes Colonnello a bit to convince Lal Mirch into a threesome as the concept of it is something that she never thought she would be confronted with before you suddenly crossed all of their lives. It's certainly new for you to spend time with two Arcobaleno who aren't into the same stuff as Lal Mirch will actively bark at Colonnello to be more careful if she deems him to be too rough whilst she provides you with a gentler time even despite Colonnello teasing her for being so flustered around you and him even though she has the two people who she cherishes most right in front of her. Lal Mirch influences him though as he is less rough when she is with him.

🐍​Viper is someone other Arcobaleno tend to keep a closer eye on as well even though they still obey by the rules and follow the duties given to them ever since they became the holder of a Pacifier. If it wouldn't be for that sense of duty it is unlikely that Viper would agree to this entire arrangement and even until this day they are still one of the few members who still struggles at times to accept this reality. Under normal circumstances they are a very materialistic person who only works for money which is why Viper is a very possessive individual and it is this greed that can make them a very volatile Arcobaleno to deal with, especially when they see another member spending time with you. It is not unlikely that they have actually assaulted a few members before with their illusions when their possessive nature was triggered or have even attempted to play those mind games on you as you are much more receptive and vulnerable to fall victim to their abilities. It is for that reason that Viper is another member who is never allowed to be alone in the house with you, putting them in the same category as Verde and unsurprisingly they hate this.

🐍​Your relationship with Viper is something even you don't know how to describe. Fact is that their abilities to let you see things that aren't real freaks you out though they are at least less disturbing than Verde is. Still, you are scared of Viper and this is something that the Arcobaleno notices and almost seems to take advantage of at times. They're one of the quietest members though to the point where you actually don't even know what their voice sounds like for a good while before they finally talk to you. Similar to Reborn their silent nature allows them to sneak up on you without you even noticing until you turn around though Viper is far more creepy about it than Reborn who wants to startle you. They tend to follow you around as you walk through the house all without you even knowing about it until you eventually spot them or until you bump into another Arcobaleno who discovers them and scolds them for their excessive stalking and only then do you realise that they've been following you the entire time. It is unlikely that they're ever going to stop though, after all you are also their possession so they have a right to know what you're doing.

Nsfw

🐍​I don't recall that Viper's biological sex was ever revealed and from what I could gather online even the fanbase is sort of torn over that aspect so I'll try to work this out as good as I can. They're quiet about their own opinions of sex. They neither join when Reborn and Colonnello start dirty talking randomly when all Arcobaleno are gathered with Fon sometimes subtly throwing in a comment or two as well but they aren't snapping at them and chiding them for their disgusting behavior and immaturity either like Verde who always looks like he is considering to castrate all of them so that they can never get it up again. The next day after someone has ravished you they mostly stay quiet which actually causes you to throw them some subtle glances, wondering if Viper just doesn't want to talk about it. This is ironically how you get Viper to ask you if you want to talk about it as soon as they realise that you give them those slightly wondering eyes, an offer you always bashfully reject as you'd rather not indulge in what happened the previous day. An answer to which they merely let out a hum that almost sounds disappointed, or perhaps you're just imagining that.

🐍​Admittedly, sex is not something that has ever been on Viper's mind before as their only focus has been on money yet Verde and them share one thing together which is that they actually start to get interested in it due to the active sex life that comes with so many people sharing you and especially with people as vocal and blunt as Colonnello. Viper just starts getting curious yet is too proud to actually ask you what your experiences with others have been so far, always secretly hoping that you yourself will talk about it as if you had the same dirty and honest mouth like some other Arcobaleno. Colonnello and Reborn on the other hand tell them what they secretly want to know without Viper even having to ask and it is Reborn who always nudges his friend and throws a mischievous glance in the illusionist's direction. Eventually Viper tries to vividly imagine what those two have told them about you, even attempt to create an illusion about you writhing and moaning and it is to those illusions of theirs that they start touching themself to. It's clumsy, awkward and slightly embarrassing as they don't really know what they're doing yet they still manage to eventually orgasm.

🐍​Maybe it is because you mistook Viper's quiet and more mysterious appearance as a sign that they're modest yet perhaps you should have considered that their abilities to use illusions would obviously give them some creative ideas. From all the sex you have had with all the different Arcobaleno Viper has always stood out due to the sheer uniqueness their abilities provide them with though you still have to figure out whether it is a good kind of weird or a bad kind of weird. There are two illusions that Viper favors and one of them remains you of every generic hentai that you have ever heard of as it involves, yes you guessed it right, tentacles. Slimy, rubbery with suction cups who wrap themselves around your body and brush against your pussy. You never expected an illusion to feel so real, a mixture of disgust and heat pooling in your belly as you feel those long and wriggly limbs slithering their way inside of you, brushing against your sensitive walls and nerves all whilst you can only whimper, unsure whether you want to beg Viper to stop or to let your disturbing curiosity take reign. It is this inner conflict that Viper seems to get off to, their fingers busily working on themselves.

🐍​Another illusion they often like to use, and one that is less disturbing than the tentacle one, is the one where they create clones of themselves. At this point in time you are not exactly unfamiliar with having two people at once devouring you yet three or four is something that you still have to experience even if all of those people except one are nothing more than an illusion, though their tongues and fingers feel very real if your orgasms are anything to go by. Viper likes to play a game with you sometimes though whilst you can already feel the next high chasing you, forcing you to focus on them as they ask of you to guess which Viper is not an illusion and if you don't guess right you will be denied an orgasm, causing you to let out a frustrated whine after the second or third time that you have guessed wrong. Talking about noises, Viper is unbelievably quiet even whilst touching themselves or allowing you to use your tongue or hands to pleasure them. Quickened breaths is more than often all that you are able to get out of them, maybe a broken moan once or twice but otherwise it is suffocatingly silent which actually makes you embarrassed when you make loud noises in their company.

💀​Verde and Viper are Arcobaleno that no one trusts yet at the very least they are still respected for their abilities and their character. If there is one member that is somewhat looked down upon by all others it would be Skull as he is almost the official human punching bag, especially for people like Colonnello and Reborn who constantly bully him and treat him like an errand boy and despite Skull's protests he still ends up doing what they're asking of him which really only drags his reputation even further down. He likes to show off yet runs away when he is confronted with someone stronger than him or someone he fears and it is this attribute of his character that has led everyone else to partially look down on him since his cowardice is a trait they don't need for protecting you. Obviously Skull would never abandon you if there should ever be an escalation as he is essentially a human shield who can tank a lot of damage but his undesirable traits have still resulted in other Arcobaleno not wanting him to get the privilege to watch after you all by himself, especially Reborn and Colonnello often state that he is far too pathetic to be left alone with you. They wouldn't want him to set a bad example.

💀​Even you can't help but pity Skull whenever you see how Colonnello and Reborn treat him yet it becomes obvious to you that their claims that he is desperate and pathetic are yet again the unfiltered truth. Indeed he is all of that, begging for any ounce of affection and attention from you as if he was a starved dog. Deep down he knows just how pitiful and pathetic he looks in comparison to others which is why he frequently attempts to show off and impress you. He performs his stunts for you, he cooks for you and he does everything you ask of him as if he were your personal slave, a thought that is perhaps something he really wishes he could be. He knows he can never be as charming as Reborn, as bold as Colonnello or as serene as Fon but in any attempt to still be something to you he offers his heart and body on a silver plate, even begging on his knees for you. You notice that his brashness and confidence are fleeting qualities that only appear when you actually give him admiration and love and disappear only to be replaced by desperation once more the moment another Arcobaleno snatches it all away from him and he is brushed off once more.

Nsfw

💀​He will never forget that day where Colonnello and Reborn both demanded from him to visit your room later. He'll never forget how he walked in to you in sexy lingerie, handcuffed to the bed with both other men already touching and admiring your body. He'll never forget how he was forced to sit down on a chair, forced to watch as they took you in front of his own eyes all whilst he could do nothing but sit there. He remembers how painfully hard he was at one point, a clear bulge in his leather jeans and how he was just itching to at least touch himself only to be barked at by Colonnello that he wasn't allowed to do so. He shouldn't have gotten off to the sight of watching the person he was desperately obsessed with being reduced to a sweaty mess by the two people he was scared of yet judging by the way his cock was aching inside his pants, the precum already oozing out of his tip he really was just that pathetic of a man. He doesn't remember how long he sat there, his breath accelerated, his cock painfully stiff and his heart racing in his chest as your moans were ringing in his head. He only remembers that at one point he came in his pants without even having touched himself.

💀​He's paranoid about having one of his torturers walk in on him having sex with you from that day on, especially since it actually sometimes happens and he is always pushed aside as either Reborn or Colonnello merely reprimand him for doing it wrong, for not pleasing you right before showing him how it is done. There is always one point that you have to strongly agree with though and that is the fact that Skull seems to be utterly deprived of touches and affection whenever he manages to convince you to let him please you and you suspect that Reborn's and Colonnello's actions have only further edged him on. The first time he actually has you naked with him he is so ecstatic that he actually cums in his pants like an overexcited and immature teenager. He's extremely sensitive, highly reactive to any of your touches with especially his nipples, his necks and his pierced ear being places where your lips easily make him blush and squirmish. As bratty as he tends to be all in an act to make himself look manlier Skull is low-key a masochist who actually gets off of you degrading him and using a slightly more condescending tone whilst riding him all whilst he can only moan and let his eyes roll back.

💀​Whether it is due to his sheer depravation or due to his lack of experience, Skull is quite messy in the bedroom, his overzealous behavior either something that amuses you or that you low-key pity. He loves covering you in marks of his purple lipstick since it makes him feel like you belong to him and only him in that moment, his kisses a clumsy and desperate clash of lips, teeth and tongues. He often goes down on you, his tongue exploring your warm walls and you're not surprised when you discover that he has a tongue piercing as well, one that he hopes will make you feel even better when he eventually learns what he has to do in order to make you gush around his pink muscle. The first few times with Skull are arguably the most awkward yet adorable experiences that you had with any Arcobaleno. He's trying his best to figure out what he needs to do in order to please you, he accidentally has premature ejaculations whilst eating you out and the desperation is just oozing out of him. It gives you a feeling of control and dominance that you have never had with anyone else. You enjoy this feeling, use it against him and it sets the dynamic between the two of you forever.

💀​If he can please you by being the pathetic, somewhat bratty yet ultimately submissive man then Skull will do so and as shameful as it is for him the first time it happens, eventually he learns to love having you dominate him. He loves when you bounce on his dick, pinch his nipples or grab a handful of his purple hair roughly whilst cooing at him condescendingly, calling him a "good boy" or "your slutty man". Fuck, he should have just given in to his depravation sooner if he would have known that being treated like a slut by you feels that wonderful and he lets you and the whole house know that by being embarrassingly loud, moaning, cussing and whining with every breath that he takes all whilst he thrusts his hips upwards to welcome your warmth sinking back onto his sensitive shaft. He always comes first, still far more sensitive than you and always begs for permission to splash his cum on your body, to see his jizz dripping down your stomach and to feel like he belongs to you in that moment. He loves staining your body in his release and he loves it equally as much when his face is covered in your own, your pussy juice so delicious that he almost gets drunk off of it.

🔹​Lal Mirch is rougher around the edges, almost acting tsunderish when around you. She is someone who is very embarrassed about her romantic feelings for her darling and she hides those feelings by lashing out on you even if a small part of her knows that it is unjustified. With you that feeling of embarrassment is only enhanced because she is actually on the more lucid side and she knows just how depraved her feelings ultimately are as well as how depraved every other Arcobaleno's love for you is. Some simply accept that and don't care, others are delusional about it which leaves Lal Mirch quite alone in her struggles. She knows none of that is your fault as you are ultimately the victim here but a small part of her can't help but remain mad at you for a while. Perhaps that is why she is unnecessarily harsh around you, always points out when you do something wrong or tells you that you fail the high expectations that she had for you. Her words are quite hurtful to you, all the more after you were freshly abducted and are already more skittish and vulnerable than you would be normally. There is a spark of guilt when she notices the hurt in your eyes but she always stuffs it back down.

🔹​Give it time, give her time. Lal Mirch needs to embrace her emotions properly before she eventually starts coming around. Sure, she is still prone to unleash her hurtful tongue and spit out some mean words but she starts holding back and actually attempts to apologise which is huge. Colonnello is a major key factor as he helps her opening up, her outbursts of embarrassment when he is around not detering him in the slightest which makes him a quite good person to assist her as well as you to get closer to each other. Surrounded by more than just one Arcobaleno she doesn't trust, Lal Mirch is despite her harsher exterior very protective and even if she says some things she doesn't mean there are a lot of other members who trust her. She's not afraid to stand up for you and tell people like Verde or Viper off when she is around and notices how they creep you out. It obviously doesn't earn her sympathy from those same Arcobaleno but it is something the rest of the group knows to appreciate. If anyone should make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy she clarifies that she wants you to seek her out whenever she is present because she will protect you.

Nsfw

🔹​Sometimes she really wishes that she could sew that dirty mouth of Colonnello up, especially once he walks up to her and proudly announces that he just got to know you on first base. The guy is already shameless enough as it is but especially around his rival or around Lal Mirch does he amplify that bold mouth of his. The redder Lal Mirch grows, the more filth flows from his lips until she's had enough and her fist makes acquaintance with his head. It takes her a long few moments to regain some semblance of composure, her hand still clenched into a fist and her whole face ablaze before she starts angrily ranting at him about how he should learn some manners and that it is inappropriate to talk about his experience like this. She's all too aware that he did it on purpose though to get such a bashful reaction out of her. It's not like she's unfamiliar with what other Arcobaleno have been doing with you but it is very different hearing it from the guy she also has a crush on. She's unable to go back to her old self after that discussion though, her mind sometimes replaying the words of Colonnello as she glances at you before a very inappropriate image flashes before her inner eyes.

🔹​Since darling is biologically female, Lal Mirch actually has a rare privilege of having seen you naked before, especially when you needed help dressing up or undressing. Whilst Fon may have been able to claim you first it is Lal Mirch who saw you naked even before him simply because you felt comfortable enough to ask her. She has never considered before that she technically had you all for her own eyes before but now she actually feels her cheeks heating up whilst thinking back about all the times she assisted you with clothes or even spent time in the little sauna or in the bathtub together with you when she needed to rant about the other Arcobaleno to you. Her eyes start lingering on your bust, your stomach, your rear and your thighs the next time both of you are completely nude and she almost, only almost, gets a nosebleed then and there yet luckily she is a stronger person than someone like Skull would be. The moment you mention it to her about it though she instantly denies it, hiding her face from you so that her blush won't give her away. God, this is so fucking embarrassing! Why is it that she has no control over herself when she is around you??

🔹​She shouldn't be flustered, she has seen you naked before yet the first time she finally has you to herself she can't help the way her heart pounds wildly in her chest. It has taken her a good amount of vulnerability to admit to you that she desires you in a more carnal way and she actually places high expectations on herself for your first time with her. After all you have had more than enough experience with a couple of other Arcobaleno at this point and even though she has always deemed herself about silly competitions of who fucks you best right now she actually feels a bit of that pressure getting the better of her. She wants to make this special. She wants to make you feel good. Your first time with her consists of her being the major giver throughout the entire time, figuring out where to touch you and what to do in order to have you writhing beneath her. She hates to admit it but Colonnello's retelling of his first time with you is actually useful as she recalls certain things he told her which help her to coax the orgasms out of your body. When it's your turn to be between her legs she does her best to not be too loud, her thighs clamping around your head as she does her best to muffle her moans.

🔹​She is shocked but not really surprised on second thought that Colonnello proposes a threesome soon after he found out that she's fucked you as well. She already knows that Reborn and him often compete over you sexually which is why she initially hesitates as she doesn't want to be dragged into that stupid competiton only for him to tell her that it's going to be very different between him and her. Colonnello is a man who is quite persistent when he wants something and eventually he convinces her. Now, Lal Mirch has been doing things with you in quite a tame and vanilla way which is why it is quite a different experience for her to share you with Colonnello who is into ropes, sensory deprivation, spanking and much more. A part of her feels slightly uncomfortable, another part of her feels aroused when she sees how Colonnello does things with you. Sometimes he gets too passionate though and accidentally hurts you which always leads to Lal Mirch snapping at him and warning him to be more careful or else she will punish him. She always regrets those words the moment she spots that suggestive grin on Colonnello's face, more than eager to challenge her.

[he-said-irene]

Joan Before the Fire, January 2023

[sonknuxadow]

the common joke of shadow and amy being swifties is stupid and doesn't fit either of them (but it Especially doesn't fit shadow) so every time i see it im going to mentally replace tswift with hatsune miku . peace and love

[ralixx]

something i drew for fav youtuber bday but didn't like it that much to post somewhere

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[romance-incubomp3]

aghhhh:(

[crowcryptid]

while searching for gabe clips today i mean. working i got 2 maw clips so im putting them here. who give a shit.

[indiiglow]

I'm trying to figure out a profound way to say how much some artists have impacted the entire way I draw

[milfygerard]

in summary. I find taylor swift interesting bc shes lost the idgaf war against everyone including herself.

[todayisafridaynight]

Nooo the trans allegory is also a Big one for me in that song, but I know not everybody is about Trans Aoki so I figured it went well with his disabilities regardless. And like yeah blah blah basic whatever, idc y'know, I'm here to enjoy life so imma listen to music people don't like 😂🤣

But you're so real for the trans Aoki thoughts okay.... I love both cis and trans interpretations of the Boy bc he's fits very well in both categories. It's all just spice y'know!! You sprinkle some of this... Some of that... And tomorrow you make a new dish! Love moving head canons around for funsies

Anyway ty for validating my music choices 🫡 good luck charging your phone

i dont really hc charas any particular sexuality or gender since i always feel weird about it its called being BORING its what I AM but its the way i was playin y7 and just kept jokin bout it every time the game gave me a chance until the very last scene then i was just like.. hm... feels less like a joke to me now... its just what my eyes perceive at this point.. sorry...

but i got you covered with music choices man !!!! i like most music even if it can be considered 'overplayed' or 'generic' like idk man... if it makea me feel ima listen to it..

[museenkuss]

.........apple music is doing a spotify wrapped-esque thing too now, huh?

[astrxealis]

all my faves are ngl very similar (i can explain but it's difficult. that or i'd take a very long time explaining)

[sonknuxadow]

???? since when were sins of a divine mother on spotify . just randomly saw them after years of them not being on there. epic win i guess ?

[theamazingannie]

Every year I’m in the top .5% of Taylor listeners and every year very few of my top songs are even Taylor. I have no idea how that works and I think Spotify is just being mean

[valeriehalla]

I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.

I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:

the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and

the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.

Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.

Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.

In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!

And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”

That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.

Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.

It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.

The vibe with “Saki” is different.

It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.

There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.

So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.

The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.

Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???

Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."