#one with neurodivergent Jk which I love but I need to work on that

[merigoldaround]

Going through my several wips and I have some really good beginnings, but I feel like when I lost the momentum on them I also forgot how I wanted to continue. I need to see if I'd like to make any of them work.

[firespirited]

Honestly I don't even believe Musk is autistic. I think he's just an ass and wants to use his supposed autism as an excuse. I've never met a person with autism who acts like THAT.

Neurodivergent people can be horrid too, I think if you have a fairly coddled existence or lose sight of where you came from anyone can go from being decent, even really empathetic to being self-absorbed. It's how we ended up with folks who felt alienated growing up into bullies who can't fathom that they're being bullies because they were the hurt one.

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So there's this threshold of money which allows you to live comfortably, not worry about your kids and even make investments and once you earn above that, if you're not super careful, your priorities and mindset radically change: it becomes about ego, rankings, accolades, having three more lines about you in the paper than the other person. It's above this threshold that the only identity politics that matter is the shared wealth bracket so you get the Jay Zs, Caitlin Jenners and JK Rowlings of the world who were underdogs at one point but seem, like, completely removed from their old life.

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We live in an age where hyperfixation on a subject (and the parental loan and investment bluffing) has led several autists to get very rich or famous: Zuckerberg, Gates and Musk, Dan Harmon and Stanley Kubrick, the creator of Pokemon, several minecraft youtubers... Success without hurting others (whether you're neurotypical or not) is all about knowing your blind spots and making sure you have collaborators who'll correct you (and protect you from tarnishing your image at the very least).

Elon Musk is most probably autistic*, raised by a heartless dad then failed upwards: so he might have seen himself as a victim, as the only smart person in the room and definitely not needing anyone's help far before he ever hit that income threshold and started seeing most other human beings as pawns or useless in his world.

A lot of us have learned to compensate really hard in the areas where we tend to be clueless but there are people who don't. My Grandma put a huge amount of work into passing at work but she gets cruel with loved ones when she feels insecure and overwhelmed to get us to leave instead of being able to say she needs some space. I have to work really hard on presenting painful facts in a sugar-coated carefully planned manner instead of just blurting it out because volume and tone really matter.

*He feels Aspergers applies to him and people generally don't come out as something potentially stigmatizing unless it applies. Also I have to show you this photo of him, his twin son (on the right) and triplets: I can't tell you exactly what it is but it's something: I have so many photos just. like. this. from overly posed to not quite there to I forgot we were taking photos.

In a nutshell: We all have blind spots, we don’t all have a billion dollars and surround ourselves with ‘yes men’ so we can ignore the consequences of the blind spots. If I hurt someone, I hope they’ll tell me or that I have folks who’ll notice so I can change. You have to hope that should you ever get successful, you’ll remember those safety nets and keep embracing the discomfort of having to remember to do better.

[swiftiesav89]

Putting this in the Universe

When I was little, I really thought things would someday just fall into place. No matter how bad things would get, somehow, I thought once I turned 18 & graduated high school, real life would kick in and I would be a success. I didn’t know what that would look like. I was good enough at everything but math and science. I read so fast and so well at such an early age that I made myself believe I was secretly a genius. All my “what career field should you pursue?” tests came back with the same kind of result - go into the creative fields, my girl, your brain is not built for anything else. At least that’s the message I get now that I’ve become more versed in my own specific kind of neurodivergence and trauma responses. Back then, I was sure it meant I was the next JK Rowling (which, now, ew...) or destined to be a hard-hitting journalist at Rolling Stone. I’ve always believed I have an accomplished writer living in my soul, just waiting for me to put my fingers to a keyboard and allow her to become real. Maybe that’s a delusion of grandeur. We’ll see if I have the energy to find out if I have any potential at all. But now, when I remember those visions of future me, they feel like a daydream. I never knew what steps to take to make any of them happen. I had always been smart enough not to concern anyone and did so well in some situations that they clouded the gaps to any teachers looking for “signs” of learning disabilities. My mom didn’t know that how fast I read and spoke and how lost I would get in my own little worlds and how obsessed I would become over anything I enjoyed were signs of something bigger when considered all together. When I watched Titanic a hundred times in second grade, it was more than Kate Winslet naked that made me do that. I could disappear into a three-hour film (that happened to feature Kate Winslet naked) and then my mind would just replay the film frame by frame in the time I wasn’t watching. When I was twelve, I spent an entire summer watching only The Fellowship of the Ring. I learned the whole script, devoted any amount of money I could get my hands on to buying magazines that I would paste into binders and write elvish phrases and guides and cast lists by hand. I still have one of the binders. It was the ravings of a lunatic, to be honest. At least that’s how it feels now. That obsessive behavior carried over into all my crushes. I was raised to be super religious in a very small Bible Belt town. I was known for my “boy-crazy” behavior regardless of the fact that I was terrified of them. And I’m sure I terrified them. I once got so obsessed over a senior boy when I was in seventh grade that I fished his empty Dr. Pepper bottle out of the trash. Proudly. Then I kept it on my shelf at home like a trophy for 2 years at least. LIKE why the feck that did not set off alarm bells for my adults is incredible. When I became "active" at 16, I wasted my energy on the absolute dregs of the male population at my school, angling for the attention of boys who now make me actively gag and sacrificing all of my self-worth in the process. I went off to college an hour away from home and couldn't keep up with the course load or the responsibility of living on my own while working full-time. I was inspired by the Obama campaign that fall and volunteered all my time. I leaned hard into the idea of politics as a career, only to completely make an ass of myself with a misplaced crush on my field campaign manager while I was also fighting a crush on my best girl friend. I flamed out spectacularly after the distraction of the campaign ended. I couldn't focus on class or show up most of the time and convinced myself I needed to drop out and re-evaluate back home as soon as it got really hard. When I got home, I froze in time and really never unfroze. I've fallen in love and made so much progress in theory. I have made dream trips come true and experienced real, unfiltered happiness and joy. And now I finally love myself but I am somehow still stuck.

[bisexualhobi]

Now you might as well continue this bc im invested. What's your take on the others bond regarding hoseok? I dont really ship anyone, but I do feed off of their dynamic. I actually appreciate vhope a lot, their dynamic is friendly, compared to Namseok, and i love how their energies mingle. While Namseok has this familiar throbbing tension and adoration. Their action seemed slightly controlled around each other, and it's honestly like watching two teens dance around eachother.

OH WOW omg this is such a good question but it also opens the gates to me flooding your dash with 20 pages of analysis on each hobi relationship.... so i will try to keep it SHORT!!!!! let’s get it! i will talk about them not in order of which ones i like more or not, but in order of who i know the most about/feel more comfortable analyzing

HOBI/JIMIN: 

this one is SO special because it can work either platonically or romantically. they are so tender, so attuned to each other’s needs. 

i’ve actually thought abt them a lot because as much as people love to talk about vmin being soulmates (which they are!) jimin and hoseok are imo just as much soulmates. or kindred spirits if you will. 

THEY’VE BEEN ROMMATES FOR SEVEN YEARS!!!!! who tf does that and doesn’t get tired of each other? soulmates that’s who 

to me jihope is just,,, that comfort of having someone know you down the marrow. 

they are dancers before they are idols. they are two people trying to find a sense of purpose in the world through dancing. 

jimin is SO tactile and you can really see how he’s slowly but surely coaxed it out of hobi to be comfortable and actually seek that sort of affection. it’s beautiful. 

to me jihope is seeing yourself reflected in another-- that sort of slow realization of “oh. it’s you. it’s always been you.” 

they are both over critical of themselves but think the other one is perfect..... so it’s really an echo chamber of “you’re the best dancer” “no YOU’RE the best dancer” “NO YOU ARE!” 

they can bicker like siblings but also talk about their deepest fears/thoughts in hushed tones under the blanket while they spoon on the same bed... it’s beautiful. 

jimin is the best best friend for hoseok in my head. he IS that bff that gives hobi a friendship bracelet and will still own it 20 years from now. he’s the “i’m gonna be your children’s godfather” best friend. they are just unbearably soft.

HOBI/JUNGKOOK: 

listen. l i s t e n ! the golden duo. the favorite maknae and the ace hyung. they are just... SO giggly with each other. so so funny. 

jungkook is an introvert, so the way i see it he probably was someone that took his time before opening up, before having the confidence to just go up to one of his members and touch. especially at the beginning, when he was a wide eyed 16 year old. but with hoseok it’s just. IT’S NATURAL. it’s like seeing the waves lap up the shore, or two otters holding hands in the river. 

i have a headcanon that jk is synesthetic or at least ND on some level because of how sensitive he is to smells (i am on the autism spectrum and i can tell you smells are a BIG thing for people like me,,,, not saying he’s in the spectrum but i love thinking of him as synesthetic). 

so every time i see him bury his nose in the soft hairs of hobi’s nape i just. i melt into a puddle on the ground. THIS MAN CAN’T TAKE THE SMELL OF HOTEL ROOMS TO THE POINT HE HAS TO BRING CANDLES OR COMFORT ITEMS WITH HIM ON TOUR and he’s been caught several times in 4k sniffing hoseok like a puppy. 

i will wrap it up now but i’m just gonna say... jungkook is hobi’s baby!! but he’s like that overgrown puppy who still thinks of himself as small when in reality he’s,,, a samoyed trying to fit himself on hobi’s lap. 

in real life i truly see jungkook as having some of the strongest/deepest bonds both with namjoon and hobi. 

for fic purposes, i see kookie as this boy who is SO protective of his hobi-hyung he will do anything for him, be it a friend, a lover, a confidant, etc. 

hoseok really lets his guard down with him bc he’s the maknae. and seeing kookie grow from this shy boy to this big, confident man who is finally doing what HE wants for his own happiness instead of what people want from him.... it’s overwhelming for hobi. 

they are the golden duo and they have my heart period!!

HOBI/TAEHYUNG: 

oh wow this was my first ship in the bts fandom,,,, good times. i was like HOLD UP! who are they and why do they act like that around each other and most importantly.... WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THEM??? 

i firmly believe that if hobi was in the maknae line vhope would be AS popular as tkk IF NOT MORE!!!! 

i think tae is the one who most openly will flirt or just go out of his way to make sure hoseok knows how much he admires him and it makes hobi SO flustered. he will literally smile like aww that’s nice :) and then run the other way. that’s why i LOVE how taehyung gives zero fucks. 

it’s a lot like jungkook’s crush on namjoon. it’s just SO transparent and they both have ZERO chill so they end up making namseok feel awkward af because they’re like haha what the fuck... 

i also have a small headcanon that tae is neurodivergent. idk why or which type of ND but he just strikes me as.... having some tics and even patterns of speech that remind me of my ND friends. and sometimes that comes off as having no filter/being awkward and you can see in the rest of the group how sometimes they literally have NO idea how to respond to something taehyung did. 

but not hobi. he is always SO patient, so comforting, always makes sure to show tae is being heard. 

i think they are just AMAZING for each other because their personalities are so complimentary. it’s also the sweetest thing when hobi does something like break out in dance or singing in the middle of an interview and tae WILL laugh and he WILL follow hoseok. 

that’s called mirroring. vhope do it more than any other pairing in the group. 

in fanfic terms,,,, they have SO much sexual tension you can cut it with a knife. they truly compliment each other amazingly well, and the sheer amount of sex appeal taehyung exudes is just *chef’s kiss* for flustered/innocent hobi tropes.

i will continute with yoongi and seokjin in a second part!! i’ll add it here as a reblog

[personasintro]

Hi, author! i'm a reader that found your fic thru this hell app and downloaded wattpad just to keep up with your story. I'm piedepagina over there and i've been commenting a lot for the latest chapter (i'm sorry 😭) and i had just never sent you an ask here, but i'm seeing the asks you're getting and it's really sad to see you're feeling down 😢 ngl i wanted to come here with an ask to talk about the characters bc i love that (btw me identifying manipulative traits in Kiko come from personal experience, it's how we all analyze media, so i apologize if i'm misunderstanding your character, it really isn't with ill intent, but as a neurodivergent person who suffers from rejection sensitivity, i do understand your reactions and irdk how i would react to stuff like that if i were you, which is why i'm here so back to the point sjdj lol), i love when stories like yours give us space to talk about character development, but the reason i decided to come here and comment here is bc i really am so sorry you're feeling like this bc of people's out of line comments, i won't tell you that you should just ignore asks bc ik how hurtful some things can be, even if we try to brush them off, they affect you and it's okay to give yourself the space to feel it, and get over it, it's not an overreaction, you're human.

And though i understand if you're feeling so burned out that you don't think you wanna do this anymore after you are finished with your current stories, i hope from the bottom of my heart you don't, and not to prove ppl wrong or to be stoic or w/e or "for your readers" but just bc i hope this part of you stays with you for a long time, be it as a hobby or something more, you deserve it, you deserve to give yourself the right to keep doing this, bc you love it and bc you're good. Believe me, not everyone doing this for free can get this many people discussing, really discussing your characters and story like this (not meaning the hate or negative criticism, but people forming opinions and theories and trying to analyze the characters and turning into therapists skdjd and even people hating characters AND loving characters)... you're doing it right, so i hope, i really hope you keep this with you for a very long time and you get the chance to tell more stories, fanfics or otherwise, for yourself.

My only unsolicited advice to you rn would be, try to explain less, if we still misunderstand the characters after the light you've shed on them, it's on us, we're on our own, and it will be then on the story to speak for itself and clarify what it has to at the moment it has to (even if we, with our headcanons, aren't satisfied, we as a society really need to learn to deal with this! In media, to omg ok back to the point) when you decide it's time. You will save yourself a lot of headaches, for sure 🤭 and to people reading and getting frustrated with the pace, just bookmark the story and comeback in a couple months to binge read the chapters posted till then, you all will save lots of trouble too AND will spare our author from dealing with your bitter asses.

Anyway, i'm sorry for this essay lenght rambling idk if anything makes sense 😭 i just find all of this really sad, you deserve to feel joy with your works and i hope this passes again and doesn't come back! and yk take the time you need to clear your mind from all this, do what you need to do, after all the most important thing is that you feel well. We love your story and we are always rooting for you, i'm sure 💜

💜

It can get a little bit frustrating, okay sometimes a little bit too much, especially when I don’t answer certain questions they just keep going. The same ones all the time. I got like 4 messages on wattpad going something like “hey can you please tell me if the story ends with jk and y/n together please? I only read stories that end like this”🤯 I don’t even know how to reply to that since I said countless times I won’t be spoiling anything, not even in the messages individually. The thing with me explaining is usually when ppl directly ask me about it or give me feedback and I try to just share my thoughts on it. I always want them to make their own opinion while reading the story, not asking me. If you’d look for my older asks about mh, I actually asked people to read my stories more carefully but I’m always open to explain some things (things that don’t give spoiler), or just sharing my thoughts. I don’t see anything wrong with that and I’ve no idea what I did wrong or why this has become such a big deal all of a sudden. This happens every time I speak up and address certain things lol

Thank you for writing me all of this! You’re so sweet and kind, I want you to know that I really took your words to my heart. Thank you again!!💜🙇‍♀️

[skyfallensoldier]

Mobile Navigation || Rules & Mun ↓

DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn​

DO

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it. 

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with. 

Have a nice day!

[myname-isnia]

I was tagged by the amazing @felicity-kitten a few days ago and I completely forgot cause I keep procrastinating 😅

MUTUALS SHOULD TAG ME IN STUFF MORE OFTEN CAUSE IT MAKES MY BRAIN RELEASE THE HAPPY SEROTONIN CHEMICALS AND I’VE HAD A SHIT WEEK SO I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW

Anyways~

Favourite colour: Green, mostly due to the many characters I relate to who have green in their colour scheme ‘cause my neurodivergent ass can’t help but self-project :)

Last film I watched: I haven’t had much time for films lately, but the last one I watched was My Neighbor Totoro. I used to love it when I was younger, and now that I’ve rewatched it I realized that I subconsciously based younger versions of Suiren and Midori (My Mingzan child OCs from my Legend of Korra fanfic, Seeds of the Red Lotus, if you didn’t know) off Satsuki and Mei. Excuse me while I go and make a My Neighbor Totoro AU for SotRL because my girls deserve a happy childhood-

Last song I listened to: Nil Se'n La by Celtic Woman. Give me happy fiddle music or give me death.

Last TV show I watched: The Owl House! I binged the entire thing in about 3-4 days and I AM OBSESSED. The plot is nice and simple which is perfect because school’s got me WAY too exhausted to handle anything too serious. A perk of being a bisexual teenager is that I get to have a crush on most of the characters ;) I’ll start with Luz and then work my way round! Also, Eda is a mood and I love her.

Favourite characters: (Warning, there’s a lot) Azula and Mai from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Ming-Hua, Lin Beifong and Asami Sato from The Legend of Korra. Scorpia and Mermista from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Eda Clawthorne and Amity Blight from The Owl House. Rayla, Claudia, Nyx and Bait from The Dragon Prince. Heather Duke and Veronica Sawyer from Heathers. Lydia Deetz and Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice. Anna of Cleves and Joan Meutas (the Ladies-in-Waiting are actual characters, fight me) from Six the Musical. Maria Lewis (James Reynolds doesn’t deserve her) from Hamilton. Johanna Mason from The Hunger Games. Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter (I don’t support JK, don’t worry). Dasha Vasnetsova from Dad’s Daughters (A really popular Russian sitcom). Wendy Corduroy from Gravity Falls. Janna Ordonia from Star vs the Forces of Evil. There’s probably more but it’s getting late and my brain is fried.

Pets: I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Theophania/Fanny/Frances and a Pomeranian named Peggy/Margarita/Daisy/Desiree. My family argues constantly whenever we need to name something so we always come up with a few variations that can all be tied back to one general name.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: I’m a savory kinda gal.

Sparkling water, tea, or coffee: Tea, of course))

Uh... I should tag some people but I have like 2% charge left and I’m basically rushing to finish this off so... anyone who wants to can do it, I guess!

[argotmagazine-blog]

Making Less Money than My Partner is Damaging My Self Esteem and Mental Health

Capitalism has a hold over each and every one of us. For most, it offers a grueling choice: be financially stable, or be happy. Unfortunately, not many people get to have both. I know I don’t.

I quit the world of ‘stable’ work back in 2014 when I decided to become a full-time freelance writer. By stable I mean it gave me a monthly pay cheque.  I’d previously worked in retail and office environments, and both triggered severe depressive and anxious episodes for me. Verbal abuse from customers, long shifts that took time away from my university education.

I had panic attacks after sexist customers shouted at me for problems I had nothing to do with. One man called me a bitch for politely telling him the store was closing. Apparently the store “should have closed when he was done shopping.”  I threw my back out several times being told to carry boxes much too heavy for my 5 foot 99 pound frame (yes, I lifted with my legs), which caused me to miss class more often than I should have. So not only was I getting physically and emotional damage from the work, I was also failing classes. 

I didn’t feel like I was doing anything rewarding with my life either. I’d stopped writing since I didn’t have the time, and I was barely out in the sun for more than an hour or two per week. Needless to say the depression I thought was getting better, was pulling me back in. I dreaded going to work, and the mood swings began affecting everything and everyone around me.

All in all, it was just an awful time for me and for my existing mental illnesses.

I’d always been neurodivergent

I’ve had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember a time when my living situation didn’t exacerbate each of them. In fact, these conditions have always heavily affected my ability to work in public spaces. Though all of my service jobs gave me a good pay cheque, I knew if I didn’t quit immediately, I’d destroy my mental health.

That being said, the creative industry does not pay well, at the very least for emerging creatives. So in exchange for my mental safety, well-being, and happiness, I sacrificed my finances. I’ve never felt more relaxed, yet at the same time I’ve never felt so guilty. I also sacrificed the idea of financial equality between myself and my partner.

Hard work just never seems to be enough

As a neurodivergent queer writer who works solely from home, I made less than two grand last year. And this was working every single weekday on more or less a 9-5 schedule. As someone with a white collar office job, my boyfriend can make that amount in a couple of weeks. So needless to say, I’ve been dipping into my savings since my creative career began.  It has also affected how I view myself as his girlfriend; I feel incredibly guilty that I can’t contribute to the household expenses as much as he can. It’s a vicious cycle where I feel guilty and financially unsafe, therefore my mental health suffers.

I’m not the only one living pay cheque to cheque. According to PayScale.com, a part-time freelance writer salary is put somewhere in the range of $24,000 – $115,000 per year. This doesn’t sound terrible at first for take home pay, but this doesn’t take into account the lack of medical insurance, pensions, and other benefits that affect quality of life built into a 9-5 income. Those statistics also don’t take into account how much less writers of color, LGBTQIAP+ writers, and disabled writers make. These numbers? Well they’re a lot smaller.

The 50% rule

That feeling of not being able to contribute more to the household expenses is a huge strain on my mental health. My OCD symptoms in particular have increased significantly ever since I started dipping into my savings.

During my time in retail my anxiety symptoms greatly outnumbered my OCD symptoms. I was prone to crying spells, my breathing became more laboured, and heart palpitations were plenty. OCD wise I was mostly having an issue with germaphobia, as the store warehouse was very dusty. But it wasn't until I began working from home when my symptoms became a lot more tourettic. I physically twitch a lot more, I act out more specific rituals more often - such as tapping things and experiencing constant intrusive paranoia thoughts about homelessness - and all in all I feel less control of my own body.

The anxiety created over being at home alone all day, and constantly fretting about money, manifests physically. In retail it almost didn't have a chance to manifest as often as I was too busy being yelled at or lifting impossibly heavy boxes. 

At least being freelance, I feel less attacked and less stressed by the work itself. Actually, the work itself isn’t stressful at all. I adore writing, and I love social media strategy. So it always made more sense to me to do something I loved, even if it came at the cost of my finances. But in a way even this makes me feel guilty. The work isn’t stressful, but I make less money; is this even allowed? When there are people out there who would be in an even worse position than I if they quit their day jobs, why did I deserve to make that choice?

The guilt is real

For women and feminine people, this guilt is particularly tough considering society expects us to do twice as much as cishet men, for half the thanks.

My boyfriend doesn’t particularly like his job as he once described it as “it’s not terrible, but it’s sort of soul destroying.” This to me seemed like a massive contradiction in terms. But maybe he was being brave because he didn’t want to make me feel bad. We’ve discussed it a lot, but in a way I feel like he is also dealing with guilt of his own. That he feels he doesn’t have the right to complain because of his privileges. The fear that his own mental health is suffering from his work, in turn affects my own. It’s a Catch-22; I sense his anxiety, my anxiety spikes. My anxiety spikes; my OCD symptoms increase; my mood suffers. Then in turn, I can’t sleep, I get dizzy spells, and so on.

The desire to pay 50% of everything is strong, especially with a feminist partner such as myself. Personally I find myself trying to make up for it in other ways, by beating him to the dishes when we’ve finished dinner. Taking out the trash before he gets home, overly apologising for how the apartment isn’t 100% spotless.  I know he’s had a long hard day in the office, so if I can’t give him 50% of the rent then I can sure as hell give him 100% of the housework. But that in and of itself seems so unfeminist to me. I’m taking time away from my own poorly paid work to spend extra time on the housework. I’m taking on the role of a housewife, rather than a partner. In a perfect world, I’d hope we could split all of that 50/50 too.

People don’t really understand

People kept telling me “You have a degree in psychology, why not do something in that field? And do writing on the side?” But why is my chosen career deemed as a hobby? I don’t want to ‘do it on the side.’

Creative jobs are always deemed no better than a hobby, but as soon as you become successful that’s suddenly not the case anymore. No one would tell the Russo brothers “Yeah the Avengers films are cool, but is it a realistic career? Why don’t you make the next one on the side of a bank job?” No one tells JK Rowling, “You’d be better getting a PHD, save the latest Harry Potter prequel for your free time!” 

This is because they’ve already made it, and because the art these people create is already in the zeitgeist. Countless artists quit their day jobs to pursue a life of creation, it’s very common. And a lot of people make it big. JK Rowling, originally a single mother who lived on welfare benefits, is now said to earn a whopping £142 per minute from Harry Potter royalties. 

These are special circumstances, and they often happen to people with (white cishet) privilege. The average artist, and particularly marginalised artists, wade through mountains of debt and awful pay cheques before they get anywhere. How much money these franchises eventually generate is a huge factor in how ‘valuable’ they are deemed. 

But when it comes to up and coming artists, they’re suddenly all starving artists that are taking advantage of those around them. JK Rowling would have been deemed a so called welfare thief, if the world hadn’t fallen in love with the Boy Who Lived. And if Hollywood hadn’t seen what a great money making machine it turned out to be. 

I just want to make a stable wage. I don’t need Harry Potter levels of fame and fortune. Yet it seems that is too much to ask.

So, what can I do now?

Luckily my partner understands that my career has to move slowly right now. So in order to help my anxiety, I know I have to get in that same mindset. Otherwise my symptoms will just get worse.

I don’t want to take advantage of my boyfriend, to pay only a quarter of the rent, I want to pay 50% of everything. We can share other responsibilities; the cooking, the cleaning, helping each other out emotionally. One day at a time. But until the industry pays better, and until my mental health sorts itself out, I just have to accept that this is all I can contribute financially. And that’s okay.

May is a feminist writer from the UK. She enjoys reading, gaming, and protesting.