#only to fail and be forced back home cuz his dad ordered

[yasashiiku]

@trattcria sent a crow ;

5 (for shou!)

angsty headcanon q’s / accepting.

One of his most unpleasant memories would be the time he found out about Claw's dirtiest secret, the Awakening Experiments, which basically used torture and stress over the human body to awake psychic abilities in some individuals ( sometimes with their consent, sometimes not ).

He was 10, he thinks, it was some few months after his mother left the image. Some of the longest months in his life, and the loneliest as well, given how his father busied himself with work more often than not ( he needed it in a way, to not think about her ). Toichiro was to visit one of the Claw divisions, and Shou should've stayed in the hotel room, but he's had enough of being left behind, and decided it was about time he found out the work behind all the papers his father would spend hours after hours signing and approving.

He managed to sneak in, having already mastered light beinding/becoming invisible without anybody knowing. But you see, curiosity very much killed the cat, he got what he wanted, a good look & understanding of how things work inside the organization, but the awakening laboratories were something out of the horror movies his mother never let him watch. The capsules, which held the humans, didn't reveal much of their suffering to the eyes, but their screams and the blood in places it shouldn't be were enough. Not only were these people being tortured, but his father was there, and his father was watching it and his father was in charge of it.

Shou went missing afterward, having fled the scene with fear that he might actually be next to enter that room because he is also an esper like the ones his father works with. It took his father's men nearly a day to find him later- and a not-so-nice struggle to get him to actually calm down and believe he is not in danger. He had to cooperate in the end, but things were never the same ever since.

[artzee-bee]

End of all things [2] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: MIraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/ Chat Noir)

Request:”Hello good evening, could you please do where a witch!Reader who always tries to comfort Chat/Adrian when he is feeling down. Cuz you know in season 4 I noticed he’s getting sadder and sadder. The reader doesn’t like to get involved in all these weird happenings and just lay low. Whenever Chat/Adrian comes to the reader’s house they always make him feel at home. That's when things go off, at the final battle where Hawkmoth got the Miraculouses and the heroes thought they would lose. (Y/n) just landed in front of them looking so done with Hawkmoth.Hawkmoth thinks that (y/n) was just a weakling, but he was wrong. (Y/n) is far stronger than Hawkmoth even he will use the all Miraculouses he’ll still lose.”

Genre: Angst

Warnings: canon typical violence

A/N: It is incredibly late right now, I hope this piece makes sense and that you like it! It was a cool request, but complicated for sure :))

Part 1

~~~

You could have sworn that time stopped altogether at that moment. Somehow, even though the disappointment of having lost and the worry you felt for your best friend, you found a little power to look at Hawkmoth. You expected him to be joyful, restless! You expected him to have already put on both the miraculouses and yet, they were resting in his palm. His eyes weren’t even on them.

“Adrien?” he looked at the broken boy on the ground

“We’re not over yet!” he yelled, running towards Hawkmoth as fast as he could, but it didn’t matter how much will to fight he had anymore! Adrien’s body was going numb. It was giving up on him. And Hawkmoth was gaining more power and energy with every second that went by. The villain grabbed the boy by the shoulder, immobilizing him to his chest, the same way you had done with Marinette

“You are weak and powerless without your ring, boy. Stop it at once!”

“No!” the desperation in his voice made your heart crumble

You felt Marinette stir in your hold. You knew she must have been awake and watching by now, but you didn’t let go. You had been unable to protect Chat from losing his powers, from wasting his energy by squirming in the arms of the enemy. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to Ladybug now! Because even if this was the end, even if they’d never get their powers back, Marinette and Adrien will always be Ladybug and Chat Noir. 

Tears fell from your face as you watched your friend kick and scream in fear and frustration. His hair was sticking to his forehead with beads of sweat

You weren’t sure what you could read within Hawkmoth’s facial expression, but you could tell it wasn’t the confidence from a minute ago. Neither the focus. You could still do something! Under your breath, you began to mutter a chant. You had never tried this specific spell before, but there was nothing left to lose. It was supposed to attract an object of your choosing, to you. Focusing on the image of the miraculouses, held captive in Hawkmoth’s iron grip, you prayed it’d work.

“I don’t want to have to kill you Adrien!” finally, the boy managed to escape and take a few steps back

“What do you care? Just a moment ago you would have done anything it took to get rid of me and Marinette!” 

Hawkmoth turned around to face you almost instantly, noticing the movement of your lips. 

“Stop that!”

You saw his fist tighten and shake slightly. His fear was all the motivation you needed! Your chants grew louder and louder, more confident and powerful. Hawkmoth placed both his hands around the jewelry in an attempt to prevent it from reaching you. Finally, there was a chance you could still win this!

And then there was a hand on your mouth.

And a kick on the inside of your knee.

You fell to the ground in pain, as the person behind you pushed you harder against the concrete. Right then, was the first time you heard Marinette say anything that day. 

“Rena?” her voice broken with despair

“I've never akumatized a hero before” you heard Hawkmoth’s taunting laugh “Can you imagine the possibilities Y/N?”

Tears were brimming in your eyes. Rena was forcing you to the ground with all her force. You heard Adrien call out your name, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You had to find a way out of this but exhaustion was catching up to you quickly. You weren’t used to fights! You weren’t used to such powerful spells within such a short period of time!

With all the strength in your body, you focused again on an imaginary spot, in the middle of it all. You closed your eyes and imagined the ball of energy growing bigger and bigger, somewhere between you and Hawkmoth. Winds picked up speed around you. You opened your eyes slightly, and all you could see was Marinette’s horrified look, but you didn’t care. Not anymore. As long as you were still conscious, the fight would go on. The ball of energy went off again, creating the same bomb effect as in the beginning of the fight. Rena flew off of you, allowing you to move just in time to see Hawkmoth fly into a tree, and drop not only the black cat and ladybug miraculouses, but the butterfly one as well.

It seemed like the magic brooch had come undone from the impact. All 3 jewels fell to the ground and Hawkmoth was swallowed by a purple light. As the detransformation came to an end, all that was left was an unconscious Gabriel Agreste

“Dad?” Adrien’s voice felt like a punch in the heart. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad. His eyes turned almost red and he took off running after his father, but you were faster and caught up to him before he could reach Gabriel. You tackled him to the ground to prevent him from waking up the villain and possibly causing more chaos.

“Wait, Adrien, we need the miraculouses!”

“No, what I need is to talk to my DAD!”

“Adrien please!” you could barely manage to keep him from squirming underneath you

“Of course” Marinette replied slowly before holding out her hand. You let go of Adrien, but he didn’t get up. He just placed his right hand on top of Marinette’s, as she carefully slipped the ring on his finger, back where it belonged. 

You heard rapid footsteps come your way and saw Marinette run towards the miraculouses, picking all of them in her hand and hugging them to her chest.You couldn’t even imagine the relief she must have felt! She looked like finally, everything in the world was right again. It gave you hope! Adrien visibly relaxed as he watched her too.

“Can I have Plagg back?” he sobbed

Plagg flew out, looking sacred and in distress, but he tried to smile for his boy.

“I’m sorry Plagg.'' the kwami didn’t say anything, choosing instead to nuzzle himself in the crook of Adrien’s neck, in a hug. The boy placed his hand on top of him and began to sob quietly. Your heart sank at the sight and you couldn’t help but let yourself fall on top of Adrien again and wrapping him in another hug. You could hear every beat of his heart and every sorrowful tear rolling down his cheeks. The noise was so loud, you almost didn’t hear Marinette transform back into her heroine self.

You opened your eyes to see her tying up Gabriel, alongside Rena. She gave you a nod, letting you know they got it from here.

“Adrien?” Gabriel whispered slowly. It seemed like he had finally woken up. The boy beneath you slowly raised his head to meet the glance of his dad. Immediately, he pushed you off in order to run to him

“Father. It’s ok! It’s gonna be ok! It’s a misunderstanding, isn’t it?” Adrien ran to him, hopefulness in his voice like he didn’t know he was merely kidding himself

“I did it for a good cause Adrien…”

“No...you didn’t” he insisted

“One day you’ll understand”

Adrien stepped away from the weak body of his father, suddenly horrified at the realisation that Hawkmoth was, indeed, no one other than his own dad. He turned around to see you and Plagg still on the ground where he left you. Tears were quickly making their way back into his eyes as he rushed to you, throwing himself into your open arms. Ladybug picked Gabriel up, and dragged him away, with Rena right on her tail.

Adrien’s cries were muffled by your hair, but his words were still audible, at least to you

“He was my father! All this time”

“I failed everyone”

“No you didn’t Adrien”

“You didn’t know”

“I let myself be vulnerable and gave him the opportunity to take away my miraculous! I could have lost Plagg forever! I let Ladybug down! She lost her earrings and got akumatized and I couldn’t do anything about it!”

“Stop Adrien. It’s ok. It’s all gonna be ok” you tightened your grip around his body “eventually…”

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of My League [Part 1]

Pairing: High school!Spencer Reid x Popular!Reader

Word count: 3.7k (god i don’t shut up do i)

Summary: Spencer begins tutoring you in chemistry, and the two of you bond (I would say no pun intended but fuck it that was GOOD so I’ll say pun intended)

Warning(s): Mentions of bullying, mental illness, some swearing, I made one joke about herpes??? sorry if thats a sore spot with anyone, light angst and pining, Reader POV

Author’s Note: Here it is, folks!! The first official part! I’ so grateful for all the feedback I got on the prologue, I’m glad y’all are liking it, I hope you like this part just as much!! Next part I’m gonna have some baby spencer, and by that I mean whole ass adult spencer that just looks baby

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

You absolutely despised chemistry. It’s boring. It’s simultaneously stupid and ridiculously complicated. You weren’t dumb, you were a decent student in all your other classes, but science was never your strong suit. You preferred literature over litmus paper any day. Unfortunately, your failing grade was bringing down your entire GPA, just below the requirement for you to stay on the cheerleading squad. Your coach recommended you get a tutor, or else you were off the team. So you went to the library to see the peer tutoring program, and all of them were booked. The next best thing would be the kid genius in your class. He was probably a better first choice, honestly, but you figured he’d be booked with other students too.

He wasn’t like other kids in your class, not just because he actually cared and was a good student, he was also twelve years old. The kid was a prodigy. He was bullied a lot because of this because no one really understood him. That’s probably why he looked so terrified when you approached him after class one day.

“Hey, Spencer!”

His eyes grew wide as he stared back at you, saying nothing.

“I was just wondering if you were available for tutoring?”

“Oh, uh, um, y-yeah, in chemistry?”

“Yeah, what are your rates like? Like say we do an hour every other day, how much would that be?”

“Oh! N-no charge.”

“Really?”

“The first couple of sessions can be a trial run, I don’t want your money if you’re not benefiting from it.”

That made you smile, this kid was so nice and you just wished that people actually cared about that instead of the dumb shit they bullied him for. Sure, he was skinny and short and dorky and you know, a literal twelve-year-old boy, but if someone would take time to know him, they’d see he’s a good kid.

“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t wanna waste your time if you have other students.”

“I don’t, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Great! Are you free after school today?”

He nodded and avoided all eye contact before scurrying out of the room to his next class.

~~~

You met up later in the library. You greeted each other politely with simple hi’s and hey’s and nothing more. Then it was time to pour over your books for an hour and try to force the puzzle pieces into place and hope something finally clicked. Balancing molecular equations physically hurt. Just when you thought you got it all right, Spencer reminded you that you still had to balance the oxygen, which was always bonded with something else, which threw off the whole equation. Every time you made a mistake you just let out a groan and set your head on the table.

“It’s a lot of math, a lot of people have a hard time with it, don’t feel bad.”

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You’re not! It’s an easy mistake.”

“You don’t make mistakes like that.”

“That’s because I’ve been taking advanced math classes for the past two years, I’m good at this stuff.”

“You’re good at everything, you're a literal genius.”

“There are people who aren’t geniuses who are good at this sort of thing, just look at Johnny Abrams in our class. He answers every question Mrs. Gustin asks and I once saw him put his backpack on his car’s roof and start driving ‘cuz he forgot it was there. He’s just been practicing. That’s why we’re here, right?”

He always reassured you. Always told you that you weren’t stupid. You weren’t dumb. He always smiled when you got questions right and told you you were doing a good job. When your hour was up, you said goodbye and went home. 

Spencer’s mini lectures aside, most of your sessions were sparse in the conversation department. The first time he went off on a side about some chemistry facts, you couldn’t keep up. You just sat there, jaw hanging while he went into detail about saponification, which wasn’t even in this lesson.

“Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Did we learn that in class? Cuz if we did, I’m screwed.”

“No, not yet at least.”

“How do you just… know that?”

Spencer avoided your eyes once again, something he did more than spouting random facts, “I read a lot.”

That’s how it happened the first time. All it took was you asking one question about different types of reactions for him to launch into another spiel. You figured you’d have to know it at some point, so you started writing down whatever you could catch from his fast-paced speech, taking notes in bullet points.

“And that-- Oh. Y-You don’t need to do that, that’s not even on the curriculum.”

“Well, I gotta keep up with you somehow, right?” You glanced up from your page and flashed an almost challenging smirk as you saw him stifle a smile as he avoided all eye contact with you, as per usual. He then cleared his throat and got back to the actually assigned chapter.

The more he went off on tangents, the more he realized you weren’t stopping him. He was actually able to make chemistry sound interesting to you, which is strange, but it was easier to understand through how he explained it all. Something told you that he wasn’t used to having someone listen to what he said, because he just lit up when he talked about this stuff. He was clearly passionate about it, so why would you make him feel bad about it? He always apologized, but you always reassured him it was no big deal. 

You didn’t know it at the time, but the kid was falling hard. This pretty, older girl was paying attention to him and didn’t think he was annoying? The bar may have been on the floor for young Spencer, but you were perfect to him. Eventually, he was able to look you in the eyes when you spoke to one another, he even smiled at you when you joked with him. That was another thing: you joked with one another now. You both warmed up to one another as your sessions continued. You said hi to each other in the hallways, you ruffled his hair as a greeting, he accepted your high-five requests every time you got something right.

You still didn’t talk outside of class much, which is why he was caught so far off guard by you calling his name from across the cafeteria as you approached his table.

“Hey, dude! Is it cool if we squeeze in an extra session today? I got a test tomorrow.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem, but, uh, it’s Thursday. Don’t you have practice after school?”

You did. And you had to be there because you had a competition this weekend.

“Yeah, I was wondering if we could meet after?”

“When does it end?”

“Five.”

“Library closes at four.”

“I know, but would it be too much of a hassle if I just… Pick you up tonight and we head back to my house to study?”

You could physically see his brain shut down in his eyes. After he realized he needed to respond, he picked his jaw up off the floor and gulped hard.

“Or you can stay after and hang out at practice and I can just drive you home?”

“Y-Yeah, um, yeah, tha-that works, I can, uh, yeah, we can do that.”

Spencer brought his books and homework and tried his hardest to not make it obvious he was staring at you while you danced. You looked like you were having so much fun and he loved seeing you happy and smiling with your friends like that, it was hard for him to look away and focus long enough to read a sentence, which is saying something, considering it does not take him long to read a sentence. 

After practice wrapped up, you told him to go wait by your car while you changed out of your uniform. The girls in the locker room were talking just as loudly as always, only this time, it was about something you actually cared about hearing.

“I mean, really, what was that little creep doing watching us today?” You heard one girl sneer.

“So fucking gross, I don’t wanna know where his prepubescent head was.” Another girl laughed.

You had to step in. You had to say something.

“I’m his ride home. He’s my chemistry tutor and I have a test tomorrow, so back off the kid, he didn’t do shit to you anyway.”

The squad learned to watch their mouths around you after that.

~~~

The neon glow of the golden arches shone through your car’s windows as you pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru line.

“This isn’t your house,” noted Spencer, sounding confused.

You grinned, “Oh, shit… no way! Wow! I’m so glad my tutor is a genius! I would have never guessed this was not my family home!”

He let himself laugh for a moment, “Okay, okay, fine. Why are we here?”

“Uh… to get food? Duh.”

“But what about your food at home?”

“My mom’s visiting my dad, he works in D.C., and I haven’t gotten a chance to go grocery shopping this week, so I can’t cook for you. What do you want?”

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“No, I insist, it’s almost dinner time. Lemme get you something. As a thank you for squeezing in an extra cramming sesh?”

“It’s fine! Really.”

“Hey, Reid, come on,” you attempt to stifle a stupid giggle as you gesture to the rather large window displaying the playroom inside, “you are a guest in my home!”

Spencer shakes his head and chuckles, but doesn’t dare let you think he found you funny, “I’ll have chicken nuggets.”

“Happy meal?”

He tried to look offended at your clarification, but he quickly dropped the facade, “Yes. Extra fries, please.”

“Of course, buddy.” You pulled up further to the ordering station, catching a glimpse at the menu and the ads they had displayed on it, “Oh no way! They have Strawberry Shortcake toys! I used to collect those when I was a kid!”

Spencer saw the look on your face and couldn’t help but smile at your childlike excitement, “Do you want my happy meal toy?”

You bit your lip and hesitated before throwing all shame to the wind and saying yes. Because it was Spencer. He got excited over chemistry, he had no right to judge you on your old Strawberry Shortcake doll collection.

After you got your food, you drove back to your house, and you ate together at your kitchen island while Spencer quizzed you on the last chapter. He had asked you eighteen questions so far, and you had answered all of them correctly. 

“Okay, this last one is for the Strawberry Shortcake--”

“Her name is Orange Blossom.”

“Whatever, this last one is for the Orange Blossom toy: Which type of reaction is represented by this equation?” He showed you his notebook where he had written a molecular equation.

“Substitution.”

“Correct! Now balance it.”

Your shoulders slouched as the pride drained from your body.

“Please don’t make me.”

“This is going to be on the test, Y/N, you have to know it.”

“What’s one wrong question, really?”

“You and I both know she’s not going to put just one balancing question on the test.”

“Fine.” You grumbled, grabbing a pencil and sliding his notebook closer to you. You worked it out after a few minutes, but everything looked right, and judging by Spencer’s proud grin, everything was.

He reached for the figurine, still in the plastic bag, and handed it to you, “You’re gonna do great tomorrow, Y/N.”

You took Orange Blossom from his hands and danced around the kitchen with it, overwhelmed with the sudden feeling of confidence you gained from nailing this practice session. You heard Spencer’s small laugh from behind you, causing you to turn around and face the boy as he lovingly mocked you.

Studying at your place became a regular thing after that, even when your mom was home. She loved him. She always invited him for dinner if she was home. He rarely took her up on the offer, but it was nice having him around the house with you. Study sessions turned into just plain hanging out. You spent more time bonding over Doctor Who than chemistry some nights, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

~~~

When Alexa Lisben invited him to meet her at the football field you were skeptical. You had good reason to be. She was never very nice to you or Spencer. You were able to be civil with her for the sake of the cheerleading squad, but something about her just didn’t sit right with you. You tried to warn him, but he wouldn’t listen. He seemed offended at the notion that Alexa would do something horrible to him. How dare you imply that the only reason someone would be interested in him would be to pull a fucked up prank?

“I’m not like you, Y/N, I don’t have a line of people waiting around for a date, no one’s ever had a crush on me before, and-and now that someone other than you is being nice to me, you’re telling me that they have some sort of ulterior motive?”

“Spencer. I know these girls, I’ve seen the guys they go for--”

“And I’m not like them?”

“No! You’re a sweet kid, you’re nothing like those guys and they’re gonna take advantage of that.”

“I really wish everyone would stop saying I’m just a kid!”

“You’re not! That came out wrong--”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m going whether you want me to or not, so if you really want to keep babying me, by all means, stay after and wait with me.”

“I don’t wanna baby you!”

“So stop it!”

You didn’t want to fight with him anymore, you weren’t his mother. “Ok, Spencer, fine. I’m sorry. You should go. How about you meet me in the library after and you can tell me all about it over McDonald’s? My treat.”

He warmed up and agreed.

So you waited in the library until four, and then you started to get worried. You went to grab something from your gym locker before you left to look for him and heard some girls from the squad gossiping about “the little dork.” Your blood started to boil as you heard the way they talked about Spencer. Your jaw only clenched harder as you recognized one of the girls’ voices as Alexa Lisben’s.

You poked your head around the lockers that divided the aisles and tried to manage a calm voice, “Hey Alexa? Spencer actually said he was meeting up with you today, do you know where he is?”

She just laughed and said, “I can’t believe you actually care about that loser.”

“He’s my friend.” All attempts to remain level-headed were tossed aside, “Where the fuck is he, what did you do to him?”

You could feel yourself starting to cry. It’s your fault, you weren’t there, you tried to warn him, but now you don’t know where he is or what he’s thinking or--

“Check the field.”

You sprinted out to the football field and saw him stripped down to his briefs, blindfolded, and tied to a goal post. You could kill Alexa. You actually considered turning right around and unleashing hell on that locker room, but your friend needed help. He was crying so hard he didn’t hear you coming until you called his name. You immediately went to untie him and grab his clothes from the fence beside him.

“You were right.” He sniffled, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad, I’m sorry, I should have been there, I could have helped you--”

“No, you couldn’t. There were too many people.”

“How many were there? Who did this?”

“Y/N, please--”

“No, Spencer, tell me what happened.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!”

You know when to stop, so you just shut your mouth while he got dressed, “Get in the car, I’m taking you home.”

You didn’t say a word to him as he buckled his seatbelt and you could tell he appreciated it. You just drove to McDonald’s and got him his usual. You parked in the parking lot and ate your food in almost silence, save for the radio in the background.

“You don’t have to tell me what exactly happened, you could pretend none of this ever happened, I won’t mind, it’s okay, but I just need you to know, Spencer, say the word and she’s dead. I have so much dirt on her, you have no idea, I can destroy her.”

“Don’t.”

“Okay, I won’t. At least give me names. I will personally make sure none of those boys ever get a date again.”

“Y/N, please.”

“I’m serious, I’ll tell everyone they have herpes.”

“I know you are and that’s what scares me, please don’t, I don’t wanna make things worse.”

You decide to drop it because if he doesn’t wanna talk about it, he needs a distraction.

After you finish your food, you ask him “Your house or mine?”

“Yours. Please.”

You drove back to your house and got yourselves set up on the couch in front of the TV, turning on an episode of Doctor Who that you had recorded. You made him popcorn as he curled up on your couch, clutching a pillow. You were mostly quiet for the rest of the night, but when you did talk, it was to ask him a question about the show or if any of the science was accurate. It was the best you could do to keep him mind off things. Eventually, he fell asleep and you felt too bad to wake him. He got up by himself around midnight, jolting awake as if from a nightmare, and considering how the last few hours had been for him, it probably was one.

“Hey, bud, I’m here, it’s me.” You didn’t touch him, knowing he got overstimulated sometimes when he got really stressed, but he felt around for you on the couch next to him, needing to know you were really there this time. You patted his hand when it reached across the cushion for you.

“What time is it?”

“Way too late for you to be here, let’s get you home.”

He nodded, slowly rising to his feet and looking for his backpack, which you reminded him he had left in the car. Your hand hovered above his head for a moment before he lazily drifted into you as he walked. You took this as an okay to touch him, so you ruffled his hair before loosely slinging an arm around his shoulders as you guided him to your car.

The drive back to Spencer’s wasn’t too long, thankfully, because you were sure his parents would be furious with him and the kid’s been through enough today. You wanted to take all the heat without making them think you kidnapped him. The lights were still on when you pulled into the driveway. They were probably worried sick about him.

When you knocked on the door, a frantic woman with short blonde hair opened it. When she saw Spencer, she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the house, never breaking eye contact with you.

“Who are you? What are you doing with my son?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong, Mrs. Reid. I’m Y/N, he’s been tutoring me.”

“How do you know me? Spencer, what did you tell her?” She looked at him and back at you, “Get off my property and stay away from us!”

“Mom, she’s a fr--”

“Go up to your room, don’t come out.” She didn’t sound like an angry parent reprimanding her son, she sounded almost... scared.

A million alarms were going off in your head, and you needed to try to get through to her, “Ma’am, I’m sorry, he was helping me study and we lost track of time, it’s not his fault.”

“I don’t care, I don’t know you, get off my property!”

You decided it was best not to argue, so you hurried back to your car and drove home as quickly as possible so you could shower and go to bed and pray that Spencer would be okay tonight.

~~~

Your phone rang early the next morning. You rolled out of bed to answer it, sprinting to the hall table to take it off the stand. Checking the caller ID, you realized it was from a number you didn’t recognize. Answering it, you heard Spencer’s voice on the other side.

“Hello, this is Spencer, is Y/N home?”

“Yes, you woke me up on a Saturday morning, where else am I gonna be, kid?” Your voice was scratchy as you struggled to fight off the sleep still clawing at your throat.

“Sorry about that. I was just calling to apologize for last night.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“N-No, I’m not in trouble, I just wanted to explain why my mother was all--”

“She was worried, I get it.”

“N- she… My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, she doesn’t do well with strangers. She doesn’t even remember what she said to you last night, she was having one of her episodes. She was just confused.”

You didn’t know how to respond. You were so shocked by his sudden revelations, you just stayed silent. You didn’t want him to think he scared you, so you had to say something. And apparently, that something was “Oh.”

“She wanted to apologize, but she’s just a bit embarrassed, so I called for her.”

“N-No, it’s okay, I…” It was suddenly so hard to say you understood because while it made sense to you, you wouldn’t fully understand what he or his mom was going through, you didn’t understand it, but Spencer didn’t seem to mind. He was just glad it didn’t bother you. After the events of yesterday, he couldn’t afford to lose you.

“Tell her I’m sorry I scared her.”

“Will do. She said you could come over so she could apologize personally and meet her if you want.”

“I’d love to. And Spence?”

You felt him take pause. You never called him that before, “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t wanna scare you.”

“You wouldn’t scare me, dude, you can tell me anything.”

“Really?”

“I promise. I’ll see you Monday?”

Spencer nodded, but you couldn’t see him, so he spoke up through the lump in his throat, “See you Monday.”

Taglist ~~~~~~

(Lmk if you wanna be added!!)

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @baby-pogue @rottenearly

[zenosanalytic]

Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 30

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 5,379

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"Chorus?! That's bullshit! There must be some mistake, lemme see that thing," Lea snatched the paper off from where it'd been taped to one of the auditorium doors, causing it to rip a little as he did so.

Sighing, I stretched a hand out to try and retrieve the cast list from him, "Don't be silly, it's fine. It makes sense."

He yanked the sheet out of my reach, squinting at it with a perturbed frown before scoffing. "Makes sense my sweet ass. Where's Marluxia? Me and that cotton-candy-haired punk are gonna have words."

"You'll do no such thing," I finally managed to get my hands on the paper, prying it free of his fingers. Seeing it was now horribly wrinkled to boot, I grimaced and taped it back to the door, doing my best to smooth it back out. Then I slipped my hand into Lea's and started half leading, half dragging him back towards where he'd parked his car. "And it does make sense. They don't know me. They've never worked with me before. On top of that, I did choke a bit at the start of my audition. They can't trust a starring role to someone that's inexperienced and that they're unfamiliar with, not until I've shown them how I do in a background part as well as shown them that I'm capable and that they can rely on me."

"But you were the best one at the whole damn tryouts!" he huffed back. "What are those numskulls even thinking? I tell ya, if I were the director, it woulda been no contest. You'd be the leading lady like that," his fingers snapped.

"You're sweet and not at all biased," I rolled my eyes with a soft snort. "...honestly, I'm actually a bit relieved to be starting in chorus. I'd rather take it slow, ease myself back into theater and not take on too much responsibility right out the gate. It'll give me a chance to feel it out and see if this is something I really want to pursue. And if it is, I just have to put in the time, do the grunt work and by the next time they're putting on another production, maybe then they'll have enough confidence in me to give me a lead part."

Lea harrumphed. "They better. Otherwise I'm gonna kick Marluxia's stupid butt."

I hid a small grin behind my fingers, "He might not even be the one directing next time."

"Don't care. His ass will still be the one I kick outta pure spite."

A snerk escaped me, followed swiftly by a tiny, bubbling laugh. Lea glanced towards me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. As we came to a stop on the passenger side of his car, he tugged on my hand, pulling me up against him. He slipped one arm around my waist while his other came up to tuck some of my hair behind my ear as he ducked his head down, kissing me thoroughly.

Breath? Gone.

Knees? Jelly.

Brain? Mush.

As he pulled away and I struggled to remember how to take in oxygen again, I asked, "What was that for?"

"Just cuz I can," he winked, planting a light peck to my forehead. "You know this whole dating thing we're doing? Huge fan. Ten out of ten. Would recommend."

Face warming, I gave a derisive snort. "Sap."

"Yes, but I'm your sap," he nuzzled his nose to mine before releasing me to unlock my door and hold it open for me.

"Sap squared," I promoted him with a chuckle as I took my seat, reaching for the buckle. "Cliché sap squared."

"Too true. And you wouldn't have me any other way," he beamed before shutting the car door. My eyes followed him as he made his way around to the other side of the vehicle, one corner of my lips twitching up.

No. I suppose I wouldn't.

"Alright, next stop," Lea said as he plopped down into his own seat, retrieving his shades from where he kept them tucked in the sun visor and slipping them onto his nose. Thankfully, it was only his aviators. But I seriously doubted I'd seen the last of those ludicrous heart-glasses. "Lay that address on me, chica."

I fished the little piece of paper it was scrawled on out of my pocket and he tapped it into his phone as I read it off to him. Then the device began reciting directions in a bored monotone, his engine roared to life as he started the car and we sped off. We hadn't even been driving for a full minute before I heard a… peculiar noise coming from the back seat. I blinked, then glanced back over my shoulder. Had I imagined it? ...no, wait! There it was again! And it seemed to be coming from the floor behind my seat, where piled in a rumpled heap was…

"Um…" I quirked an eyebrow at Lea. "...your jacket seems to be barking…"

"Hm?" He was keeping his eyes on the road, but I didn't miss the hint of a smirk tugging at one side of his mouth. "Oh! Yeah, that. It does that from time to time. Needta train it to be better behaved."

My eyelids drooped. "...maybe you should feed it or take it for a walk."

"Nah, that'd only encourage it and then I'd never be able to get the damn thing to quit yapping," he snerked as he stopped at a red light. Then he was reaching behind me to shove his leather jacket aside, revealing a big box, its lid decorated with a frilly bow on top. He hoisted it up with a small grunt and deposited it into my lap. "Here. Was originally supposta be a Congratz-On-Landing-The-Lead present, but now it's more of a Congratz-On-Being-Glorified-Scenery present," Lea chuckled, scratching his cheek.

I lightly swatted at his shoulder. "There are no small parts, only small actors," I quoted with a shake of my head before directing my gaze back to the gift. I could feel it twitching and shifting slightly in my lap as it gave another couple of muffled barks.

Gee. What could it be? I really do wonder.

(Note the sarcasm.)

I was just glad to see several air holes poked into the lid. Come to think of it, Lea had been keeping his windows rolled down too. Sighing and smiling despite myself, I lifted the lid up. Sure enough, a puppy poked its head out to greet me, one that was a super white ball of pure fluff. The same one that's stolen my heart at the pet store when Lea and I had stopped by a while back. The one I'd dubbed Marshmallow. "Lea, no. I told you already that my complex doesn't allow pets." My chiding words were at odds however with my delighted chuckle as I picked the little guy up to hug close. "You shouldn't have gotten me a dog."

"I didn't," he said brightly as the light turned green and he stepped on the gas once more. "I got myself a dog."

I stared at him blankly as I felt the pup flicking its tongue along my chin. "...so wait. In essence, you got yourself a gift to celebrate me being glorified scenery in the play?"

"No, I got myself a gift to celebrate you getting the lead in the play. Not my fault you failed to live up to your half the bargain," he tsked before laughing as I gave his shoulder another smack, this one with more force behind it. Then as we shifted lanes, he flashed a smug grin, "'Sides, keeping the furball at my place gives ya an excuse to come visit me more often."

Petting the puppy's soft fur, I snorted, "Manipulative."

"Hey, what you call manipulative, I call incentive."

"You're right," I hummed as my fingers scritched behind Marshmallow's ear, a sly curve to my lips now. "You're definitely not enough of an incentive on your own for me to make the trip."

"Rude! You're lucky I think you're so cute," he reached over to pinch my cheek. I ignored him, holding the dog up in front of my face so we were nose-to-snoot. Marshmallow wagged his tail, licking the tip of my nose and I heard Lea grumble, "Oh sure. You he gives puppy kisses while all he ever gave me was tooth hugs."

"Tooth hugs?" I echoed, brow furrowing slightly.

"Lil furball's been tearing the shit outta my ankles nonstop," his face pinched sourly and I couldn't help a small laugh.

Once I'd sobered, I said, "I thought you said Saïx would murder you if you ever got a dog. How are you not dead?"

He flicked on his turn signal. "Oh trust me, it's not for lack of trying on his part, but bastard's gotta catch me first. The trick is to never stop moving when I'm home. Stay in one place too long and I'll get pulverized. Also got six different deadbolts locking my bedroom door now to keep him out, though I'm just waiting for him to get pissed enough to Kool-Aid Man his way through our shared wall."

"Hope I'm there to see that," I grinned, shifting to cradling the puppy in my arms in order to maximize belly rubbing efficiency. "Surprised the little guy managed to stay quiet for so long."

"Me too. Squirt was yipping up a storm the whole drive over when I was coming to pick you up. Was worried he was gonna ruin the surprise. But musta just wore himself out eventually and took a nap or something."

"Mm," I just hummed distractedly. "Also kind of shocked you were able to snag him. We saw him at the pet store, what… two weeks ago? Would have thought someone would've adopted him already in that time."

"Heh… well, I didn't exactly pick him up today..."

"Yesterday?" I glanced towards him and he gave a weak chuckle, shaking his head. "Then when?"

Lea scratched a finger behind his ear. "Er… same day we went to the roller rink?"

I blinked a couple times, then deadpanned, "...as in the same day we went to the pet store?"

"That'd be the one!" he nodded as he pulled up to a stop sign, his hand coming up to pluck at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "After you left to go home, I went back. Ya just liked the lil mutt so much, I couldn't help myself. It was an impulse buy. Five seconds after I became a proud, new dog dad though, I felt like a total dumbass. But woulda felt like shit if I'd tried to give him back, so..." he shrugged, "I kept him."

My gaze returned to Marshmallow as my lips pursed to one side. He panted happily back up at me. "...I didn't see him that one time Saïx had me over for dinner. How'd you manage to hide him?"

"Stashed him away at Xion's for the night. Couldn't risk you finding him and realizing what a twitterpated bonehead I was," he snerked as the car propelled us forward once more.

I bit back a little grin. "But it's okay for me to find out now?"

"Well yeah, course! Since you're my girl and all now. Back before we were dating, me buying your dog was weird and possibly a lil creepy." He shot me a smirk, "But now it's just sweet and endearing!"

"If you say so," I murmured, only listening with half an ear as I smooshed and squished the pup's face.

His head turned slightly towards me and I could practically feel the slight narrowing of his eyes behind his aviators. "...crap, I'm gonna have to compete for your affections with that damn fleabag now, aren't I?"

I struggled to keep a straight face as my finger booped Marshmallow's cute little nose. "Is it really a competition if you've already lost?"

"Oh-ho, I see how it is," he snorted as he checked the rearview. "Well don't be too alarmed if next time ya see me, I'm down one dog and up one pair of a brand spanking new white, poofy earmuffs. The two things'll be totally unrelated. Pure coincidence."

I gave a tiny, amused huff and rolled my eyes. Then I leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for the puppy. You're very sweet."

He ruffled his hair, "Shit, if it's always gonna make you this happy, I'll have to buy myself more gifts!" I made a noncommittal noise in my throat, all my focus diverted once more to playing with the dog. Lea gave a defeated sigh but smiled. Then he asked, "So… how's Anna been doing?"

I frowned slightly. "...okay. She's… better."

The altercation with Hans had been a few days ago now. By the time Anna had gotten through with him, he'd staggered out of my apartment with a limp and a black eye. I hadn't heard from him since, though part of me did wonder if he was just taking time to lick his wounds before coming back to further profess his supposed love for me. Guess it just depended how much of a hard time his parents would give him and how easily he'd break under the pressure.

As for Anna, once she'd spent all her rage on rearranging Hans' face and had nothing left, she'd proceeded to bawl her eyes out. She never took breakups this hard, but apparently she'd really thought Hans was it. The One. After such a rude awakening to the fact that he wasn't and having her heart shattered, I didn't blame her for having a bit of a breakdown. She'd ended up staying over and Rayne and I had turned it into a sort of a girls night to try and cheer her up. We'd binge streamed romcoms until 3 a.m. which honestly, with Anna wailing through every single one, I had no clue if they were making things better or worse. But she was the one who kept putting them on one after the other, so I'd just let her as I hadn't had the heart to deny her.

In the days since, it was obvious Anna was still down, even though she tried to hide it behind sunny smiles and loud laughs. Still, she seemed to be on the road to recovery.

"She's strong," I added softly after a brief lull, fingers absently toying with Marshmallow's paws. "She'll bounce back. Just needs a little more time, that's all."

Lea's phone suddenly gave a small ding, announcing that we had arrived and our destination could be found on the right. Luckily a spot had just opened up on the curb for him to turn the car into. I unbuckled my seatbelt as the engine shut down and opened my door, stepping out onto the sidewalk. My arms were still holding the puppy and I unfortunately had to concede that I probably shouldn't bring him inside. Spinning one-eighty, I set him back down inside the car and he immediately tried to hop out to follow me. My hands shot up to block him and he retaliated with sad eyes and a whimper.

Oh, this little con artist.

Laughing, I stroked his head soothingly, "Now now, Marshmallow, no need for all that… we'll only be gone for a few minutes, I promise."

"Awfully presumptuous of you, naming my new pupper," Lea teased as he appeared at my side now, a paper shopping bag that he'd retrieved from the back seat on his way out of the car now dangling by the handle from his fingers. Rubbing a curled knuckle over his chin as he glanced skyward, he smirked. "I was thinking something more along the lines of…" now he stretched a hand out, dragging his splayed fingers through the air as if the words themselves were magically materializing in front of our very eyes, "...Imperius, the White Death and Destroyer of Worlds."

I shot him a dull look. "...bit long to fit on a dog tag, don't you think?"

"Not if we use really teeny font!" his grin twitched wider and my eyelids just drooped in response. "Fine, fine, ya have a point. Hm… compromise? How 'bout... Marshmallow, Destroyer of Worlds?"

One corner of my lips turned up, "I can live with that." Giving the puppy one final scritch under the chin, I cooed, "Be back soon, Mr Worlds," before locking and closing the car door. As I turned to fully face Lea, it came to my attention that he was now scrutinizing me with a squint and a little frown. My eyebrows knit together. "...what?"

Without a word, he abruptly bent forward and friggin' licked the side of my neck.

With a small yelp, I squirmed and jumped back, hand flying up to clamp over the now damp skin as my cheeks threatened to spontaneously combust. Lea's face twisted in distaste as he spat and razzed his tongue, "Yeck, concealer. Thought so. Knew there was no possible way my masterpiece healed and faded that quickly."

Ah. He was talking about the Mother Hickey. I nodded with a sigh, "Yeah, Rayne helped me figure out how to cover it up."

Stepping closer, he hooked a finger under my chin to gently turn my head to one side so he could take a better look, muttering, "Hmph. Nice job, Raindrop. Matched your tone perfectly, never woulda even known it's there. But also… so not cool. I'm an arteest! A maestro deserves to have his pièce de résistance on display for all the world to see."

"Not when your canvas is my neck, maestro," I snorted, getting on tiptoe to plant a quick peck to his lips as I took the bag from him. Inside it was a powder blue sundress, a pair of ankle boots, and a phone book.

He gave a tiny pout, but it quickly melted into a grin as he took hold of my free hand, lacing our fingers together. "So… you ready for this?"

I spotted the little store we'd come here for and started walking towards it. "Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

"Ya sure the dude even wants all this junk back? It's more than a lil used now."

"Well, it's a used clothing store, so I'm sure it's fine," I shrugged.

Lea chuckled, "That old phone book is rumpled from water damage and is practically a rat's nest. No, scratch that cuz calling it that sullies the good name of rat's nests everywhere."

"It doesn't matter," I exhaled heavily. "I told the man I'd bring it all back and that's what I'm doing. If he won't take any of it, then I'm happy to pay him back for it all with interest." On that note, we stepped through the automated sliding doors beneath the big sign that read Wandering Oaken's Trading Post.

The store looked the same as the last time I'd been here. The cluttered racks, the secondhand clothing all but bursting out of every nook and cranny, the rustic decorations on the walls and hanging from the ceiling… all of it exactly the same. It honestly surprised me a little. I would've expected some changes since it felt like my last visit had been absolute ages ago. I had to remind myself that in reality, it'd hardly even been two months since.

I hoped the man (employee? proprietor?) who'd assisted me back then wasn't also exactly the same as I remembered him. All angry and stocky and big. I gulped, feeling my breathing turn shallow as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Surely, he wasn't still mad and wouldn't rip me limb from limb on sight, right? And surely, my memory had to be lying to me and exaggerating. No one, not even Lea, was that hulkingly ginormous… right?

"Hoo-hoo! Big summer blowout! Half off swim su-" the familiar voice immediately cut off as its owner, that same man I'd recalled, locked eyes with me from across the store. "You!"

Nope. He was exactly as terrifyingly ginormous as I remembered him.

Suddenly - and I don't quite know how exactly, because I didn't remember moving - I was hiding behind Lea.

Huh. Seemed like my latent surprise teleportation powers had activated to catch me unawares once again!

Taking a deep, steadying breath to settle my nerves and get a grip, I slowly creeped back out from behind him to respond to the man with a shaky smile and a tiny, "Me?"

He abruptly came charging at me and I swallowed a squeak, screwing my eyes shut.

This was it. The final countdown. The last roundup. I could already see the fabled white light. Was already watching my life flash before my eyes. Could hear an angelic choir singing somewhere. All but feel the-

Those giant tree trunks he had for arms unexpectedly wrapped themselves around me, crushing me to him in a spine-cracking hug that lifted me several feet off the ground and forced a surprised grunt out of me.

Um…?

"What is this?" I wheezed as I was swung to and fro like a ragdoll. "I don't understand what's happening."

Lea snerked, being absolutely zero help as he simply crossed his arms and watched the absolute epitome of bear hugs continue. "Apparently, this is how he deals with shoplifters. His own unique brand o' vigilante justice."

"Well it's cruel and unusual punishment!" I croaked out, kicking my feet and trying to wriggle free. "How do I make him stop?!"

Miraculously, he chose that second to release me of his own accord, shooting me a big smile that took up over half his face, "Oh thank you, deary! Thank you!"

...okay, not quite the greeting I'd been expecting.

Like, at all.

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead as my hand went to rub at my elbow, "You, uh… you remember me?"

"Of course, deary!" he nodded eagerly, tapping his fingertips together.

I squinted at him uncertainly. "...and you remember that I… stole from you?"

More enthusiastic nodding, "Ya, ya!"

...was I the only one totally bewildered right now?

My eyes darted over to exchange a brief glance with Lea, who just shrugged his shoulders.

Oh good, so it wasn't just me then.

Looking at the worker once more, I hesitated for a split second before awkwardly thrusting the bag out to him, heart thudding loudly in my ears as I began, "Well I… I brought it all back like I said I would… even the phone book! It's all still in decent shape… er, except for the phone book, that is. I can compensate you for that though and… and the dress and shoes too, of course! That is, if that's what you'd prefer... and I'll even pay inter-"

"Nonsense!" he gently pushed the bag back towards me. "Keep it all, it's yours. And your munny's no good here."

I stared at him blankly. "...I'm sorry, I'm confused."

The man beamed at me now, "Your dress, deary! The one you left behind in the fitting room and said I could have? I must say, that had to have been some costume party you came from! I sold that gown for enough munny to pay for all four of my sons' college tuitions! So I insist, keep those items! And please let me know if you see anything else in here that you'd like, ya?" A sudden low chime rang out overhead, signalling that another customer had walked into the shop. Gracing me with one final warm grin, he then plastered on his customer service face and walked past me, waggling his fingers in greeting, "Hoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!"

Frowning slightly, I watched him go before I heard Lea say in realization, "...you left your wedding dress here."

My fingers twisted and fidgeted with the bag handles. "Sort of… yeah."

He shook his head with a snort. "Shit, El, a gown like that made for your upscale, hoity-toity, blueblood wedding? You didn't shoplift, you way, way overpaid!"

Feeling heat creeping into my face, I gave a tiny scowl and huffed, "Well, it certainly felt like shoplifting, the way he was yelling and chasing after me when I ran out the store!"

"Babydoll, you just lost some serious street cred," he chuckled, pressing his lips to my temple. "Seriously though, just ditching it in some random fitting room? You coulda sold that thing for bookoo bucks and made this whole striking it out on your own thing way easier on yourself."

"You said the same thing about my car back at my parents' home. But just like with the Ferrari, that dress was bought and paid for with my parents' munny," I sighed, crossing my arms. "I don't want to accept so much as even a single cent from them if I don't have to… I don't want to feel like I owe them anything. And I just… I didn't know what else to do with the dress, really. I just wanted to be rid of the wretched thing."

He tsked, tapping a finger to my nose, "Oh you. Always gotta do things the hard way, huh? Silly." Reaching for my hand, he then started us meandering about the shop, idly perusing the racks and shelves as he went on, "If it'd been me, I wouldn't have thought twice 'bout pawning that dress for some quick cash. What's the big deal where the munny came from? All that really matters is how you spend it to give yourself a better, happier life. Turn bad into good, ya know? I- sweet!" he cried out abruptly, eyes lighting up as he happened upon a clump of feather boas draped across the corner of a chaotic, jam-packed shelf. Snagging one that was made of red feathers marked with black stripes, he wrapped it around his neck with a flourish before batting his eyelashes at me. "How do I look?"

I rubbed my fingers over my tiny smile. "Beautiful. Simply gorgeous."

"Damn skippy!" he chirped, now spotting a full length mirror nearby and moving to admire himself in it.

From insightful to kid playing dress-up in under two seconds flat. That had to be some kind of record.

Seeing that the employee had returned to his post behind the cash register, I walked over to him. "Hi again. How much for one-"

There was a sudden giggle at my ear that was distinctly Lea's, followed swiftly by a second feather boa being looped around my neck, this one comprised of blue feathers with white tips. With that, Lea zipped off once more, this time heading towards what looked to be the toy shelf.

I blinked in his wake, then shook my head with a soft hum of a laugh. "I'm sorry, how much for two feather boas?"

"Holy shit, this orca action figure comes with a tiny machine gun! And-" Lea gasped, running back now to excitedly show it to me, "-it also turns into a goddamn freaking robot!"

Patting him on the cheek, I turned back to the cashier with a sigh, "And the toy too."

"For you, deary?" he asked, still happily tapping his fingers together. "Free of charge!"

My head rocked back slightly. "What? No, but-"

"Oh hell yes! Thanks, big guy, and have a great day!" Lea cut me off, snatching up my hand and bolting out the store, forcing me to stumble after him as the cashier called out after us to do the same.

As we exited through the automated doors back out onto the sidewalk, I said, "Lea, wait!" I dug in my heels, bringing us both to a lurching stop. Then I frowned over my shoulder back towards the little shop. "I'm not comfortable with this. He's only giving us this stuff because of that stupid dress and I told you already-"

"Don't look at it as benefiting offa your folks munny," he grinned, taking the bag from me to tuck the toy and his boa inside with the other stuff. Then he set to work uncoiling mine from around my neck. "Instead, try this on for size: ya did a good thing with that dress. Maybe even the best possible thing ya coulda done with it. You donated it to the worthy cause of paying for the education of that dude's small army of kids. And if that's not enough for you, here's another way to look at it: ya traded in a wedding dress worth a sultan's ransom and all you got in return was a handful of cruddy, secondhand junk that altogether costs maybe twenty bucks max. On the divine cosmic scale of ethics, I think you can consider your conscience clear and your heart light as a feather."

Now fully freed from the feather boa, I released a tiny huff through my nose as I watched him slip it inside the bag too. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"It's settled then," he beamed, slinging an arm around my shoulders and guiding me back towards his car. "Now onto the next item on the list!"

My head tipped to one side. "There's more? But with this place checked off, I thought that was the whole list."

"Maybe your list, but we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of mine. And first up is immediately correcting one epic fail on my part."

"Oh?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

He nodded, "Mm-hm! For ya see, I've been grossly neglectful in my boyfriend duties. Can you actually believe I have yet to take you out on our first proper date since officially becoming a couple?"

A tiny smile fought its way onto my lips. "For shame. The absolute scandal."

"I know, right? People are already beginning to talk, my good name is being dragged through the mud," he puffed out an overdramatic breath, shaking his head.

I laughed. "Well then, what did you have in mind?"

As we came to a stop next to his car, he tapped the window glass where Marshmallow was pressing his paws up against the other side while barking his little head off. "For starters, how 'bout we take this lil fellah to a park somewhere for a few hours? Once he's all played out, we can drop him off back at my place. Make it real quick, in and out before Saïx wakes up and realizes he's been unknowingly volunteered for doggo-sitting duty." Setting the bag down on the roof the car, he then faced me, taking both my hands in his as he idly started toying with my fingers and murmured, "Then I was thinking I could take ya somewhere nice. Maybe Le Grand Bistrot? And after that…" he gave a lazy shrug, that dimple of his emerging, "well, guess we'll just see where the night takes us from there."

My eyes crinkled as I stared up the few inches that separated us. "Sounds perfect."

It'd been one wild and, at far too many points, absolutely absurd ride that had brought me here. And it was far from over for I still had a long road ahead of me. I'd yet to even determine what exactly I wanted the future to hold for me, and that was okay. I could hardly be expected to have the rest of my life already planned and mapped out after experiencing only a couple short months of freedom. Come now, that would be unrealistic.

But it didn't truly matter that nothing was really decided yet. What mattered was that I was the one who would get to decide, no one else. And for the moment, I was just deciding to focus on what was immediately before me. Today, I had a date with my boyfriend. Tomorrow would be a shift at my job in a mall ice cream shop. And the day after would bring the start of rehearsals for community theater. All in all, it was nothing grand, nothing fancy… but it made me happy. And for now, that was enough. More than enough. I could figure out the rest in my own time, and that sounded pretty good to me.

In fact, it sounded absolutely amazing.

THE END

…sorta?

Author's Note:  And thus we come full circle... it ends where it all began way back in chapter one... cheesy, I know XD Okay, I rarely finish stories and thus I don't have a lot of experiencing doing it, so factor that in however you will in judging this final chapter xD I know, it was stupidly, cavity-inducingly sweet and not a lot happened, but damnit it's my story and I'll end it how I want to! Oh, and the toy Lea found wasn't a reference to anything, it was just something stupid I found on the internet that I figured the goofball would go absolutely nuts over xD

So, you probably have questions about that "...sorta?" at the end there xD Well that, my friends, has to do with the good news I mentioned that I had for ya'll a couple chapters back! Although the big, main plot of the story is now complete, there will be *drum roll*... bonus chapters! Wooo! These are more like self-contained one-shots that generally have time passage between them anywhere from a few days to like a month with no real overarching plot connecting them, which is why I'm not considering them a part of the "main" story. However, I will still be just slapping them at the end of this story, keeping it all in one place as opposed to posting them as separate fanfics, just because I can! I do what I want, yo! These bonus chapters will cover various events (relationship and non-relationship alike) for our new happy couple - as well as some that are just for pure funsies due to random ideas popping into my head that I really wanted to write xD I just always write the "how they got together" story and have never written them as a couple, so I'm excited to finally have a good excuse to do that! Plus now I can share with you guys how things go from here - stuff like relationship milestones, fam drama, Elsa's further adventures in theater, and much more! If you guys have any ideas of your own for a one-shot you'd like to see, please let me know! I make no promises about actually writing it, BUT there's a very good chance I'll read your suggestion, the plot bunnies in my head will go wild and I'll have no choice but to write it anyway xD 

ANYWAY! I already have written and completed a few of these one-shots, so my once-a-week updates can continue for a little while longer! But fair warning - when (not if, WHEN) my updates catch up to as far as I've written, my once-a-week updates will be reduced to whenever-the-chapter-is-frigging-done updates xD

Whew! I think that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading my lil story here, I super duper appreciate it! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far! Seeing those lil notifications pop up always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

See ya next week for the first bonus chapter, which is a silly, for funsies one-shot xD I'll give you a hint... helmets are involved! Ooooo, what could it be?! Stay tuned and find out!

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Just Some Random Fanfic Concepts

So I was going to wait and see if anyone else was interested in me posting up some of my general fanfic ideas. However, I’m bored and struggling to work with the CiM update I’m working on right now. So I’m just going to do it? Also, a heads up to look out for another post coming later, because I want to share some of my Variro YouTube playlist, too.  BUT FIRST, story ideas. You’ll get some working titles for the ones I HAVE working titles for, but otherwise I’m just winging it cuz there are a lot of them. These are in no particular order. Things being higher or lower on the list doesn’t mean they’re more or less likely to be worked on. 

#1 - A continuation for Land or Sea (title pending)

So a little background on this one. I got the idea for this one at the same time as I got the idea for Trust is Something Earned. I put which one I worked on first up to a vote on the Tangled Amino. 

It’s a mermaid(merman/boy??)!Varian AU that centers on the idea: What if, in Queen for a Day, instead of coming up with a solution that created the amber when interacting with the rocks, Varian creates a different one and winds up getting himself turned into a mermaid instead?

It’ll feature 4 OCs: two created by me, and two created by a friend. The perspective will shift between Varian and an OC that belongs to a friend of mine named Charlotte, Varian’s childhood friend and love interest. 

Without spoiling too much, it takes place primarily during the events of season 2 (and maybe stretches into season 3). It switches perspective between Varian, who’s sent to live in the ocean after the accident and becomes friends with an adventurous merboy named Caspian who helps him rediscover his passion for science and alchemy, and Charlotte, who’s left behind in Corona and is trying to rediscover her sense of self and direction after losing her best and only friend. Charlotte’s perspective will help show how the premise changes events in Corona, while Varian’s is wholly original. 

The other OCs that will be involved in the story will be my OC Adrian Claire, who followers of TiSE will know, and my friend’s OC Henry. 

#2 - Stitched Together (originated from Ragdoll)

Okay so the original premise for this was for it to be a Variro story. The focus was Hiro living a double life: a college student in San Fransokyo who realized the existence of the several magical realms that ran parallel to his home after discovering he had magical blood passed down from his mother (maybe even throwing in superhero and making it a triple life - poor Hiro). He finds what’s known in the multi-realm as a living doll - a doll that gained a soul either through devotion and affection of a previous owner and desire to become more human, or having a human soul literally shoved into it. 

Varian, his doll, is the latter. Due to crimes against his home realm of Corona and his own uncontrollable magical talent, they forced him into having his soul magically “stitched” into a rag doll, until Hiro’s magical talent allowed him to awaken.  However, because of his nature as a living doll, Varian now depends on and is subservient to Hiro, but the two soon grow a bond much closer than expected. 

Now, after working on the lore and world of the story, I’ve grown its scope a little. Rather than simply being a crossover with Tangled and Big Hero 6, I want Stitched Together to be a bigger-scale crossover, including How To Train Your Dragon and the Tales of Arcadia series as well. 

It’s going to be Hiccup/Hiro/Varian, along with Jim/Claire from ToA being close friends with the trio. They’re all going to be young wizards from different realms, with different magic specialties studying in Arcanum, the central realm that connects all magically advanced realms. Other characters from each series will show up as well! You’ll see a bit of all of them, it’s a pretty enormous project.

#3 - Maybe some Hogwarts Shenanigans?

I’d really like to do a short, maybe 7-chapter story on the Hogwarts Headcanons for the OT3 I did a while back. The big issue is I’m still trying to figure out where I stand on posting Harry Potter/Hogwarts content after the whole J.K. Rowling thing. 

It’d be a chapter focusing on each year the three spend at Hogwarts together, some key moments through the years, and things like that. Just a small, random story about some kids at Hogwarts having fun. 

Might do it, might not, we’ll see. 

#4 - Time Travel Variro Fic (title pending)

This is another one sort of meant to run alongside season 2 of TTS, and maybe s3. It also replaces the S3 of BH6 the series. Just cuz. 

Basically Varian escapes after being put in prison, and decides the best way to save his dad is prevent the amber from capturing him all together. Vindictive, feral little villain raccoon decides that if he can’t have his happy ending, he won’t let Raps have hers and plans to make a time machine so he can go back and prevent Eugene from rescuing Raps. 

Unfortunately, a slight user error and hiccup in his plans (namely the fact that Ruddiger doesn’t appreciate being left alone and hops in the machine with him and all the noise and flashing lights of a steampunk-medieval time machine spook him) causes him to catapult into the future instead. 

Meanwhile, Hiro’s dealing with his friends moving on to find work, his own internship at KreiTech while attending school, and being fifteen and struggling with hormones and his sexuality finally starting to rear its ugly head after being dormant for 15 years of being in an ongoing relationship with SCIENCE (aka he’s seeing guys, thinking ‘he’s cute/handsome’, and he’s PANICKING). Then, as he’s on his way home from internship one day, a random af raccoon tugs at his pants leg until he finds a boy in weird clothes unconscious in an alley somewhere

Varian, after being woken up, and unsure if he should bring up that he’s from the past or not, makes up a fake story about running away from a small town. Hiro, feeling there’s something more but empathetic to Varian’s story, invites him to stay with him at the Lucky Cat and introduces him to Cass. 

Varian is stand-offish at first, absorbed in his “pet project”, as he calls it around Hiro. Basically, the machine didn’t time travel with him, he’s stuck, and is determined to get home and continue his plan. Hiro, however, is drawn in by the mysterious boy and tries to reach out to him and open him up.

Varian catches on to modern technology and science pretty darn quickly. He’s a smart boy. He also stays holed up in Hiro’s lab or the room they allowed him to borrow reading all day. Until finally Hiro cracks him out of his shell, he starts attending SFIT, and meets the rest of the BH6 crew.

There’s more to the story than this but that’s all I’m saying for now. Lots of drama, tension, etc, and just a fun time as boys discover their sexualities, learn where they can call home, and all that good stuff. 

#5 - In Someone Else’s Shoes (Time Travel Team Awesome Fic!)

So this one is kind of meant to work in tandem with the Variro fic. While the Variro fic explores Varian failing in his plan and getting catapulted into the future, this fic shows the results of what would happen if the time travel worked.  

It centers around Team Awesome! Varian travels back to the past, and tells Eugene that he dies if he hides in the tower. He convinces him that he’s his partner in his future, by knowing his name and stroking his ego a bit. But inform him that the crown will lead to nothing but trouble and his death (conveniently leaving out the part where he meets the love of his life and gets brought back from the dead because of a magical healing flower). 

The alteration to the timeline erases the former Varian’s existence and overwrites the Varian of the new timeline with his memories - giving him the memories of both the former and current timeline. He wakes up in bed at the palace, being woken up by his personal attendant Flynn (Eugene, who only allows Varian to call him by his proper name when they’re alone) and told to get ready for his coronation as crown prince. It turns out, in this timeline, because Eugene and Rapunzel weren’t there to stop him from his running water experiments, the devastation on Old Corona caused the death of his dad and several others. Since he was the son of an old friend, and they longed for their missing princess, Frederic and Arianna take him in as their son, and monitor his scientific hobby to prevent him from causing more trouble. 

Of course, this won’t do. He confides the truth to Eugene, that he was trying to save his dad by returning to the past (but again, keeping out key elements), and the two decide to work together to rebuild the time machine and alter the past without the catastrophic results. 

Won’t spoil too much, there are some wild twists and turns here. But it’s one I’m really looking forward to, again!

#6 - Maybe some Percy Jackson/Camp Half-Blood shenanigans

I’d just really like to make some Camp Half-Blood AU stuff. It’d be more a series of one-shots, or just a story that jumps around in time in the course of it. 

Crossover with Tangled, Big Hero 6, Tales of Arcadia, and How to Train Your Dragon with a focus on (as usual) Hiccup/Hiro/Varian. 

Not going to say too much about it though, because I want to do an AU Headcanons post with some details on this one! I have lots of ideas.Some you might expect, some you might not. 

#7 - Hercules Inspired Variro Fic (Title pending!)

So this one is wild. Basically, after the events of BH6 s1, Obake escapes. He stays on the run, escaping to Germany, and finds a young boy of genius on par with Hiro, but in the field of Chemistry, and takes him under his wing.

Varian is distraught after his father, who’d contracted an incurable disease, falls comatose. The government does nothing to help him, even though he has friends that hold political power, and Obake uses that to lure him into becoming his protege. 

The pair lie low for a while, wreaking a little havoc in Germany while Varian looks for a cure for his father. The boy dabbles in all manner of fields while trying to help his dad, and before long finds out that the last component he needs is in America, in San Fransokyo. 

Varian, now in his early 20s (which means Hiro is too!), Varian travels to America. He’s currently working as a villain under Obake while daylighting as the head of a German medical research company. 

He meets Hiro by chance. He flirts a little, but tries his best to keep his distance while trying to achieve his goals. Unfortunately, Obake notices how flustered Hiro gets around Varian, and has Varian continue flirting with and pursuing him as a form of distraction, and confides in him about Big Hero 6 and their identities. Varian is against it at first, but goes along with his mentor. 

Varian continues flirting with Hiro, gets in with the group as a friend, and begins distracting Hiro and sabotaging Big Hero 6 while working on a plan to steal the last component he needs for his cure - a solution being stored under high security at KreiTech - where Hiro works, partnered with Krei.

It’s Hercules inspired so there’s a bit more to it, but that’s all you need to know for now!

#8 - Phantom Thief Varian! (Title Pending)

Similar to the time travel one, this one KIND of links with the Hercules-inspired one. It’s not necessarily meant to link narratively or thematically, like the two time travel fics, but it has some similarities. 

Namely the fact that Varian came to America after forming a company to research a cure for his terminally ill father. Whether or not Quirin is comatose in this one, I don’t know. 

But it’s hard for a small company to get the influence or money Varian would need for his research. So, he steals valuables and rare compounds and materials to fund his research and keep him going, under the name “der Waschb��r”, which Google Translate tells me means “the Raccoon” so I’m rolling with it.

He meets Varian in a business meeting with KreiTech, or one of those fancy business parties or something along those lines. They become infatuated with each other pretty quickly (as adults that are more sexually aware, I always picture these two precocious kids being pretty flirtatious when attracted to someone so they just kind of click pretty quickly). 

It’s basically the story of Varian, the charming phantom thief who worms his way into Hiro’s life, and Hiro, the superhero aiding the cops in his capture. All while being completely oblivious to each other’s identities and flirting/pursuing each other constantly on the side xD I just like phantom thief stories okay?

#9 - POKEMON!!!!!

Yeah, I still want to do something with these pokemon headcanons

I’m still not entirely sure what kind of pokemon thing I’d want to do. Similarly to the other ones centered around my headcanon posts, it would probably be something I write in short bursts or one-shots and such. 

I’m not sure if I want to do something focusing solely on Corona as a region and the Tangled Characters, or continuing the Hiccup/Hiro/Varian that the headcanons focus on. 

#10 - The VTuber AU

Yes, I’m doing this! I’ve fallen neck-deep into the VTuber pit, and I love the idea of a VTuber Varian. I feel like his avatar is probably a combined effort between him and Rapunzel, who would probably be the artist behind his character. He’s probably an independent VTuber, streaming on his own with his own model - either because he was genuinely curious about the boom and wanted to try it, or due to the influence of his friends (whether a bet or something along those lines).

As stated in a previous post, I feel like his vtuber character is super steampunk, and probably raccoon-temed. There are a lot of VTubers that use the animal-ear look after all. His VTubing character is super chaotic, and tends to fly solo when streaming. 

Hiro is a pretty big gamer himself, but never got big into VTubers. He felt it was just a fad attached to regular streamers, and never really got into watching other people play games, so vtubers make it even weirder really. 

He was looking for help getting past a certain point in a hard game, though, and in his search came across Varian(in the fic, his VTuber identity will have a separate name! I just haven’t htought of one yet) streaming the game, and stuck around to see what he did in that part, and wound up staying because he was chaotic and fun to watch. Before long, he realized he was watching clips from previous streams and catching his streams regularly. The others start teasing him about it. 

Meanwhile, Varian, who’s recently joined in with the group after having started SFIT the year or semester after Varian (maybe Year, since Hiro can be watching it while the others graduate and start looking for work, since he doesn’t really have any other friends in SFIT so he just kind of falls into it to pass time)

Still dunno how he figures out Varian is a VTuber, and whether it’s before or after they start planning though. I just rcreated this one it has work to do.

Anyway that’s about it. There’s probably a few smaller ones I put off to the side of my brain for the time being that didn’t get added here. I forget which ones I start planning a lot and I almost never write them down, I just plan them in my brain as I go and the ones that stick are just keepers. Hope you like these though! Curious to see what everyone things and which of the ideas the, like, 20 of you that follow me like. 

[steeltoss]

Pre Naruto — Naruto Headcanons. Ages 9-15.

I have nothing better to do while my phone is dying.

Age 9

We're starting here since I'm working on something already. Okay so the day her whole clan was obliborated and sent straight to Jesus, Hokkaido was taken from Konoha under the Third's order. From there, she went to an orphanage in Amegakure.

The orphanage wasn't too bad, but Hokkaido couldn't help missing Konohagakure. She wanted to leave the orphange and debated running away.

However, she didn't get to run away as a couple who never had children together spotted this lonely dark haired girl and wanted to adopt her. This led to confusion. Someone genuinely wanted to adopt her, a broken child?

They did adopt her. But she was quiet, confused even.

The lady was one of the most beautiful ladies she had ever seen, complete with Auburn hair and deep green eyes and a pallor complexion. Her new mother's name was Emi Suzuki of the Hidden Rain.

The man was strong, and he looked very mean, but he wasn't. Hokkaido just didn't know that yet. He had short, messy Sandy blonde hair and cocoa colored eyes. This was Shindou Suzuki, a very strong Shinobi of the Hidden Rain.

Upon going to her new home, things were very different. This family was patient with her learning and never pushed her too much, they had accepted her as if she really were their own child. But she didn't want to call them mom or dad because she only ever had one mom and one dad.

Hokkaido was given a nice room with a twin sized bed and a desk for schoolwork, Emi enjoyed buying her stuffed animals, her favorite was her stuffed panda that somehow made her think of Shisui. She slept with it every single night.

Entering the academy, she made two friends that she held close to her heart.

Aito Fugikame, a small and dark haired girl with violet eyes who reminded her of Hinata Hyūga from Konoha, maybe that's why she enjoyed her company so much.

Eiji Yamada, a brunette make who seemed a little idiotic but super friendly and was outcasted for being such a loveable idiot. This was in ways, her Naruto of Amegakure.

She began to adjust to her new life, the pain seemingly subsiding as she always came home to a hot meal and was called Yua, (and it literally means binding love and affection) by Emi.

Things were starting to go great, and for once after the massacre, Hokkaido Uchiha was smiling as she came home. But she missed her brother, Sasuke. She wondered how he was doing in Konoha.

Age 10

Having a good birthday, she blew the candles out on her cake before hiding her face in her hands. She was crying but didn't know why. Sure, she was happy, but how long would it last without her only other blood relative?

The trio [Hokkaido, Aito and Eiji] often roamed the village together and practiced their skills together, she finally perfected her Fireball Jutsu.

That's when people began looking at her all weird, she was an outsider, and they knew just how strong the Uchiha clan was.

Aito's mother wouldn't let her visit nor talk to Hokkaido anymore. This was the downfall.

Hokkaido shut herself off, she barely exited her room unless it was to eat or go to school.

Age 11

Emi had conceived her first daughter this year and she seemed rather focused upon the new baby that was due to arrive in July. Hokkaido was conflicted on how to feel, she was once her foster parents primary focus, and it seemed they had less and less time for her now. She never brought it up. She was still grateful she was given a family.

In July, Emi gave birth to a healthy little girl named Ichika. Hokkaido wanted eagerly on the front steps of their house, but was only met with a sullen faced Shindou and a baby in his arms. Emi was no where around.

Later that evening, Shindou had explained that Emi had passed on, and that Hokkaido was now rightfully the woman of the house.

Even though Emi wasn't her biological mother, Hokkaido was broken again. She had lost two mother's in her life. This was the very first time she cried over someone who wasn't related to her in any way.

But Ichika reminded her so much of Emi. She had beautiful Auburn hair and a buttoned nose, just like Emi. And Hokkaido would constantly talk to the growing child about how amazing their mother was.

At the time, she hadn't even realized she reffered to Emi as her own mother. She just knew she missed her more than anything.

Age 12

Celebrating Ichika's first birthday wasn't how she ever imagined it to be. Emi wasn't there to see her daughter grow up, she hadn't even gotten to see Hokkaido graduate from the Academy and become a genin.

Hokkaido was put in a squad with Aito and Eiji, but things were still tense with herself and Aito. Hokkaido never knew how to process her emotions. She used to go to Itachi or Shisui for things like that. But Shisui had died a year before the massacre.

This year also happens to be the year Hokkaido got her menstrual cycle. She went into a panic, thinking she was dying and bleeding out. After all, she really didn't have a grown female figure to turn to about this.

She was embarassed to even tell Shindou, but he was very calming and understanding. He explained she was becoming a woman and even gave her the birds and bees talk. She was disgusted.

Sasuke is now ten, and she wonders how he's doing. She debated on writing him a letter, but out of nervousness, she doesn't.

Age 13

Hokkaido spent a lot of her time doing activities as she was now co sidered am elder sibling by Ichika. Ichika was walking and talking and every day passing, looked more like Emi.

Hokkaido began training for her chunin exams, which, were coming up very shortly. She spent many hours training with her squad a day and had often had to be retrieved by Shindou.

Shindou often scolded her for overworking herself as he forced her to drink plenty of water and eat her greens. He was only looking out for his eldest after all.

Upon the day of the exams, Hokkaido finds out all three of her squad had to sign up. And they had. They are now officially beginning their journey as chunin.

The first exam, she nearly crapped a brick. The written test was hard and she knew nothing. But she still tried her hardest, hearing and seeing others being disqualified for cheating. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

Afterwards, when she found out the objective was to cheat without being caught, she literally facepalms herself because she hadn't even thought of cheating. And then that damned question was asked.

Back at the exam, the proctor states that the candidates are free to choose whether or not they want to try and solve the tenth question. If they opt out, the entire team will fail. If they choose to answer the question but get it wrong, they will be barred from taking the Chūnin Exams forever.

Hokkaido's heart hit her guts. She was afraid of never becoming a chunin. But she pressed forward, only to find out the tenth question was already asked. The question was to test their determination and bravery.

Since I'm a lazy bastard and ive worked on this almost all damn day, I'm moving forward.

During the one on one fights, Hokkaido was matched against Kabuto Yakushi. [you know. Cuz this mf kept taking the exams cuz he a spying little-]

She lost.

She lost.

She didn't become a chunin on her first try, but congratulated Aito and Eiji upon becoming Chunin.

Age 14

Sasuke was finally old enough to take his own chunin exams and they were being hosted in Konohagakure! Hokkaido was estatic, she was finally going home to Konohagakure, even if it was just for the exams.

The exams started the same, and she passes. She couldn't help but keep glancing toward her brother however, a tugging on her heart. He hadn't even looked her way.

She wondered if he forgot her. He hadnt.

After the written exams, they prepared for the second part. Hokkaido was paired with two Amegakure genin.

However, a red haired sand ninja with a foul attitude caught her eye. Gaara.

Another skip, I'm half dead.

Anyway,, she became a chunin because of the circumstances and after the fight with Gaara and Naruto, Hokkaido goes home back to Amegakure.

Sasuke had changed so much, her little brother was growing up.

Age 15

Hokkaido had been caring for Ichika and tried being a great big sister to the four year old who somehow ended up looking up to her like she had to Itachi. It left her heart hurting a little.

Still, she would sometimes think back to that red haired boy.

She often ignored it because she didn't want to even tell Shindou about a possible boy she liked, let alone one that was so damn destructive.

Things were going well, and she was being sent on a mission to Konohagakure soon. This mission, however, required her to move away for six months. She would be aiding the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade.

She wondered why she was chosen for such a thing...

Okay. That's rushed but there. Heres her OG Naruto Headcanons. Shippuden comes next. Feedback is much appreciated. Nah this isn't proofread either.

[prorevenge]

Racist mom tries to bribe son to dump me, I gain power over everything she cares about.

This is gonna be a LONG post lol, may have gotten exact timing sequences out of order.

Met a guy that we had mutual friends with and invited him to hang out with my friends and do fun stuff. Later learned he was not even allowed to hang out with my crowd cuz his mother was the very strict and hypocritical sort who thought everyone else was inferior to her precious kids. Guy was telling them he was doing work or something. Eventually he told them he wanted to date me and they flipped. The dad doesn’t have much say in the house and the mom (EM) was livid.

You know how Amish people don’t like rock and “sinful” music? Or females that wear shorts and tanks? Yuuup basically her. She went through my social medias and literally compiled and printed out giant lists of every country song I’d ever posted or concert I’d been to or clothing she thought was too provocative along and gave it to the pastors at both of our churches. EP called MY mom at 2am a couple times to rant and rave about “how could she let her daughter do such sinful things and flirt with boys yada yada yada”. She made racist remarks to Guy (I’m a super cute half Asian half messican, and all of his family is pale white golden haired angels) and even asked him if I’d molested him (I’m 5’ 2” and he’s literally a foot taller than me) and if that’s why he wanted to date and marry me. He was still at home and they went on a family trip to Colorado. Or as it turned out to be an exorcism style prayer meeting over Guy because EM just knows there must be a demon or something wrong with him. Oh and this was only within a span of a few months while he saved up to move the hell out.

Nope not over yet. EM then was harassing his work, his new church pastors (mine), his friends, got one of his business partners to leave him with lies that Guy is “bipolar” and “Schizophrenic”, thankfully most of the people had our back and we had some good laughs over what outrageous things they told us. Even driving an hour and a half to his apartment (I know dumb move to let them know where he moved to), in the middle of the night a couple times to harass and berate him and blubber about how everyone would judge her and how her reputation was going to suffer and church standing, she even dragged his two younger siblings into it all and told him they were heartbroken that he moved out and all the reasons he needed to move back home. Cue even more fun, one night he was just done so when they showed up to again try and bully him into moving back home or at least dumping me, he just up and left. Got in his mini and drove away. AND THEY FOLLOWED HIM. Unbelievable right? He used to race his mini so he lost them pretty quickly and booked it over to where I lived and spent the night there. I know, why not call the cops right? Well there was no physical damage or threats thereof. Yes she’s been verbally and borderline physically abusive to him growing up, think patriarchy super conservatives but it’s a matriarchy. At one point EM asked Guy what it would take for him to dump me, what amount of money could she pay him (Guys dad makes buttloads of moola, yeah those kind of people) to get me out of his life and for him to move back home. SHE TRIED TO BRIBE HIM TO LEAVE ME. She’d threatened to disown him and all the typical rich EP stuff before and knew he didn’t care. EM even called all his guy friends and asked if Guy has ever had any “homosexual” tendencies etc. Next month Guy proposed, and EM was SO MAD that she heard about it for the first time from a mutual friend congratulating her on the upcoming wedding! So of course she calls all the pastors and REEEEs about how we’ve been living in sin (kicker, we hadn’t even done the dirty dance but she didn’t bother asking) and telling everyone that they shouldn’t attend the wedding etc. Yea call us prudes :p EM also printed out all the reasons why I wasn’t good enough for her son and handed those out like candy to church leaders. Then when that had no effect she switched tactics and did the same thing with all her reasons why he was immature and shouldn’t get married and should move back home and be parented. Still no effect, except my dad at a huge meeting where she tried to distribute those, gathered them all back up and handed them to her and told her to stop slandering us and said how ungodly that was. And she stood there baffled and all the other people present agreed with my dad and told her to put those papers away. EMs exact words “but but I thought the very reason everyone is here is to show Guy why he needs to leave that girl and move back home!” I couldn’t help a giggle and a few other people couldn’t either. That meeting is a whole nother story, it was hilarious.

Where is the revenge you ask? Well all that was just the tip of the iceberg of course, but the revenge has been pretty simple. Spend a few obvious nights (SLEEPING ONLY) at his place, just to trigger her, but ofc our pastors and friends knew we’d committed to abstinence our entire lives up to the wedding (hella yea wedding night was killer) and other things like that to get under her skin but nothing that anyone else thought was bad. Very publicly plan and execute a HUGE wedding (over 500 people) and tell everyone about how our relationship is so beautiful and holy and how Gods destiny brought us together yada yada. She made a couple extra hoops for our pastors but we jumped through them with flying colors and everyone except her thought we were the cutest most Christian kosher thing. So basically to save face she had to fake smile and accept all the congratulations and be secretly embarrassed that we didn’t invite her to the wedding showers (she said she never wanted to see me and wouldn’t go to the wedding) and made excuses as to why she hadn’t gone, EM couldn’t tell her friends that we hadn’t invited her now could she? She went after the best man too and he almost decided against being the best man she was such a hassle and he was a pushover, but I told him the best passive way to deal with her is tell her that he wants to be there for his friend and how could she argue with that? She didn’t. But of course, what’s better than forcing her to attend the wedding but not allowing her to ruin it? Extremely petty I know, but I’m a drama llama and have enjoyed 98% of all this. I of course get ahold of EMs own mom and get to know her and she’s very sweet and loves me to death, along with Guys siblings and his dad, as many of EMs own friends and their families etc. So everyone loves me and when we invite them all to the wedding, they strong arm her into coming. I have my cop friends who have been having a heyday hearing about all this drama coming in for the wedding, one of them I make my MC so if she tried anything, not only would they take care of her swiftly, but she would also deeply embarrass herself because there was no denying that there were 500+ people there who loved Guy and I, including a lot of her friends. The ceremony was great, went off without a hitch, oh wait... I am not a bridezilla so if anything went wrong it was fine and the drama was cracking me up, I was a little disappointed she didn’t try anything drastic, but I could see on her face the entire time that EMs smile was sooo fake, and I got reports that she was seen crying outside later. Watching people congratulate her was priceless. When my own friends congratulated her a few of them later told me that she seemed surprised that I had any “respectable” friends (her literal words) who thought well of me. And no I’d arranged her to be only in one photo so she couldn’t ruin any others.

Oh and our wedding day was only the 3rd time she’d ever set eyes on me. She was against me from the start for almost a year without ever having spoken a word or ever seen me in person. Take that EM. To this day I have no idea what was her real beef with me. Happy ending: now that I provided the first grandkids, to my chagrin they’re like baby Targaryens they’re so white, and of course she’s too “young” to be a grandma so she’s called “nana”, but we laid down ground rules and she knows we will ostracize her at the drop of a hat, and she has kissed butt so hard and to her credit done her best to mend everything without ever really actually mentioning any of it. It’s great. We have holidays and fun visits in between and she showers us with super expensive gifts and will drop everything possible to help if we need anything. I think we’re friends now. One day I think she might bring it all up and try and play the victim, idk, but she’ll be hit with a carefully detailed account of everything that went down, in case her memory “fails” her. I can forgive but I’ll never forget, after all, I got my delicious revenge. Power over everything she holds dear and the evidence to expose whatever she hasn’t already done by her own dumb self and absolutely ruin her reputation and community and church standing. I feel really good right now

TLDR entitles mom wants to be petty about me dating her son so I take petty to another universe levels and crush her with epicc facts and logic and hold all the cards to ruin her life now

(source) story by (/u/cyborgurl)

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Mark 10

So I’m not sure what 10 you mean so I wrote a story with all three number 10 prompts

“Do you even still love me?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“So,Uh, I locked the keys in the car.”

Josh has been my boyfriend ever since i moved to Salem. He was the popular, handsome, captain of the basketball team, that got good grades and everyone adored. I’d met him on my first day when he’d been assigned to show me around, and I was flattered when he asked for my number, and pretty much had been inseparable ever since. I honestly wasn’t sure if i loved him or loved being popular. In my old school i had like one friend and never got invited to anything, but as Josh’s girl, i became high school royalty overnight. All the girls would tell me how lucky I was, and i loved to see their jealous faces when i was crowned homecoming and prom queen at Josh’s side.

That’s why i never talked about Our “incidents”. Josh was very protective about me. He didn’t like it when i talked to anyone, especially guys like Mark.

Mark was the most beautiful boy i’d ever seen and even being near him made me blush. He was the polar opposite of Josh tho. He didn’t participate in anything but partying, getting fucked up and breaking all the girls hearts. He had a girlfriend named lily for awhile but then she started banging some old guy and Mark broadcast that fact across the internet. They had some fucked up relationship with drama on both sides, but somehow always ended up making out in the halls again, causing a new batch of girls to cry. He was the definition of trouble.

One day i’d forgotten my essay at home and didn’t want to get a failing grade for it, so i forced myself to throw up in front of everyone, so the teacher believed i’d genuinely needed to go home.

I couldn’t go home because my dad would kill me, and i didn’t want to see Josh cuz he’d worry so i decided to go chill at the local library. I selected a few magazines to look thru and settled into a comfy chair tucked away in a secluded corner. I loved this spot cuz i felt alone, but had a whole world of books just around the corner.

“Wow what are you doing here goody two shoes?”

I looked up to find Mark standing in front of me, with a cocky smirk on his face.

“Last time I checked this was a public library.”

Marks’ eyebrows shot up and he chuckled. “What are you reading?” He asked as he settled down on the ground snatching a magazine from my lap, before leaning against the chair between my legs.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t believe Mark was so close I could smell him. He smelled so nice and he was so warm against my leg. I could feel my core heat instantly, and it took all I had in me to look at my magazine and control my breathing.

“So why are you skipping school Trouble? Did you follow me?”

Eventhough I was so nervous, I was sweating, I somehow was uncharacteristically a smart ass, “of course, Mark. I’m obsessed with you.”

“You know my name?” He said as he leaned his head back looking upside down at me, with his head quite literally resting on my lap.

“Your head is pressing against my...” I practically whispered locking eyes with him. He was so beautiful even upside down. His eyes were the palest green, and his nose was the most perfect nose I’d ever seen. He had full pillowy lips and smooth flawless skin. His cheekbones and jawline were so prominent, I could still see his perfect bone structure even at this angle, and he was so large. At least 6’4 with broad shoulders and tapered waist.

“Is it making you uncomfortable having another man between your legs, little girl?” He said cockily.

I was at a loss for words, just staring down at him thinking things no nice girl should be thinking.

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???”

We both snapped forward to find Josh standing in front of us red faced, chest heaving. “Are you guys on a fucking date?” He seethed.

Mark just chuckled, looking back up at me, “Are we on a date right now?”

Josh made an inhuman growl and stomped forward, grabbing me by the arm and ripping me from the chair. Mark stayed where he was seated but his face had changed from amused to dark.

“Josh it’s not what it looks like! I was just sitting here and he came and sat down!”

“Shut the fuck up! Do you even still love me? I mean Mark? Him!” Josh said pointing at Mark. I dared not look at him. All of a sudden I felt a firm slap across the face. It stung, but not so much as it humiliated me and made me feel small. I looked up in horror at Josh, but then looked back down at the ground. Josh never hit me in front of anyone. I felt so ashamed, and to make matters worse, Mark had hopped up and put himself in between Josh and I.

“Oh you gonna be a fucking hero now Mark? After that stunt with Lily, i thought you understood sometimes girls need a little reminder who’s the boss.”

“Holding a girl down to take a picture when she’s lying to your face, is a hell of a lot different than hitting someone that you know won’t fight back. And you helped hold her down mitherfucker! It was your idea!”

I felt like I was gonna be sick, and i was mortified. Tears welled up in my eyes and when I looked to the hallway, a crowd was forming. I just wanted to get out of there. I wanted to get away from the both of them.

I started to walk towards the exit, with Josh hot on my tail, speaking just low enough for me to hear him, how much I was gonna pay for this. I didn’t know if Mark was behind us too, but I didn’t dare look, and frankly after hearing what he’d done to Lily I didn’t care.

I went to get in my car, when I realized I’d left my purse behind but I didn’t want to admit that to Josh. I also didn’t wanna leave with him either. My mind raced what to do, and I noticed Mark standing by his car behind Josh.

“Open the fucking door!” Josh demanded. He was at the passenger side waiting to get in. Marks eyes locked on mine, signaling me to get in his car and flashing me my purse from behind him. Never in my life did I think Mark would be the better option.

“What are you looking at? You wanna go with Mark? You’re looking at fucking Mark?” Josh raged. He was furious. He started to walk around the car, but I walked around it too, keeping the car between us.

“You hold fucking still or it’s only gonna be worse when I catch you.” Josh yelled.

“So, Uh, I locked the keys in the car,” I said weakly.

Josh burst into a sprint to try and cover enough ground to grab me. I was surprised at this but still was able to keep enough distance between us, running around my car as Josh cursed and threw threats my way. I was terrified until I ran into a wall of a man that was Mark, who rapped me in his arms and told me to go get in his car.

I looked at his serene stern face, and then back at Josh who was in a full on rage and thought fuck it.

“Really motherfucker? You really wanna do this?” Josh spat.

“Bro, you’re being fucking ridiculous and coming from me, that should concern you. What are you gonna do to her? I’m a piece of shit and we’ve both fucked up, but you’re supposed to fucking learn and grow and shit. You’re acting insane and I’m not letting you near her.”

“And you’re gonna fucking stop me? That would require follow through! The only thing you finish is being a fucking disappointment.”

“What are you, my fucking dad?” Mark scoffed. “Just go cool off Josh. I’ll make sure she gets home and I won’t touch her. Whatever she decides about you, is on her although I recommend a fucking restraining order.”

God he was cute. What the fuck is wrong with me? I should get my keys out of my purse and run to my car while Josh is distracted and never speak to either of these boys ever again.

“Mind your fucking business Mark. You couldnt just fuck all the skanky ass whores in school could you? You had to go after mine.”

“She’s a skanky ass whore too? Fantastic! I thought she was a goody two shoes, but that makes giving her a ride home more promising.” Mark said with a devilish smile.

“You think you’re so fucking funny don’t you? Everything is a fucking joke with you.”

“You’re a fucking joke Josh.” Mark turned to walk back to his car, as Josh glared.

“Good luck with Mark you fucking whore! He’ll just throw you away like he does with every other dumb slut and then don’t come crying to me!”

Mark got in and started his car, and squeezed my knee. “We’ll drive around a bit, and then come back when he’s gone so you can get your car.”

I glanced over at him and he gave me a sweet smile that I couldn’t help but return it.

“What you said about learning and growing; did you mean it?”

“I did. Listen it’s not my business, but no man should ever put hands on you. I don’t have a lot of room to talk, cuz I drink and I’m not gonna act like I haven’t done stupid shit and punched walls but when I saw him just hit you... and then you looked down I just.”

I turn and look at his face and he looks angry and sad and confused. I reached over and placed my hand on his arm. “You felt helpless.”

We came to a light and he looked over at me face unreadable, when he cracked a sad smile.

“You are trouble.” He said looking away.

“Why?”

“Cuz normally I’d wanna get high, or take you somewhere and fuck you, but I just wanna make sure that he never hurts you again.”

[forgettinggirlinterrpted]

5/8 - 5/13/19

It’s so easy sometimes to forget why I’m here. That’s my problem- I forget things. I forget my keys, I forget to turn my car off when I get gas, once I even forgot I biked somewhere and ended up walking home.

But worse than that, I forget emotions. I forget how miserable not having AC in my car makes me until late April rolls around, I forget when I’m mad at someone, I forget how happy I felt during some of the most important moments in my life. Most importantly- I forget when I’m sad.

I have brief moments that pop up in a sea of darkness that allow me, for just a moment, to laugh and feel like a real person. These moments happen a lot. I can see light and laughter during a panic attack before the flip switches and my brain turns back into a train running off static electricity and black mold. The fog clears for just a brief stop on the tracks and the mold crawls back to its host.

But same as the the fog clears, eventually so does my forgetfulness. My ability to forget is just as weak as it is powerful. Slowly but surely those mold covered trains start moving again with no clear destination. The black creeps in as I sit in the real world, hunched over, grasping onto my surroundings- yet failing to grasp onto any sort of consistent breathing pattern. I can forget sadness, but I can just as quickly forget happiness.

So here I am, in the day room of a psychiatric hospital, surrounded by people just like me. We have become our own ragtag group of misguided grownups. When I arrived here 7 days ago almost a year after my last admission to this hospital, I felt the trains moving at full speed through a pile of sludge. I stared at the painting on the wall and began to fear that here, I may not be able to utilize my warped superpower: my ability to forget.

But slowly, the other patients and I have begun to forget together- somehow forgetting without truly forgetting. Together, we can laugh not through the pain, but alongside it. This is the place where I don't have to feel bad for my moments of forgetfulness. Moments of comic relief and simple enjoyment. I don’t need to feel like my laughter negates my 10-year-old depression diagnosis.

Here, we are embracing those moments. We embrace the moments of happiness and sadness- in whichever order they decide to arrive. In a room full of people so different it looks like the set-up to a bad joke, we can forget in a place that is simultaneously forcing us to remember.

When I got here, my doctors told me to embrace the community. “If you don’t want to talk about your anxiety and depression, then just listen.” So I listened. And then I started talking.

One night, we all gathered in the day room, attempting to avoid the loneliness of our windowless rooms. As a Die Hard sequel blasted in the background, the addicts in the room discussed their journey through meth addiction. I asked questions. They answered. We all laughed. A heroin addict around my age told me, “seriously, don’t touch meth.”

The man next to me, Nate, said through the bustle of conversation and laughter, “are you here cuz of a drug?” I said no, and in his thick, mumbled, country accent he asked me, “then why you here?” 

I told him that I’m sad. 

He sighed, looked down at his folded hands and said, “yeah, I’m sad too.”

Nate loves movies and reading, M&M cookies, and meth. Up until he injected 3 grams of “ice” in a suicide attempt, he has been living on the streets. I halfway listened to the ongoing conversation about how incredible and horrifying hard drugs can be as he told me about a time he was arrested after ending up inside a university dorm building thinking he lived there. We all took a brief break to laugh even more when another patient, also coming from a recent suicide attempt, tried to enter the conversation by saying he had only ever “done weed once.”

Later, in his mumbled speech, Nate told the group about when he was high and stood in the middle of park downtown for 4 hours with a knife in his hand. We asked him what the hell he was doing just standing there. 

He simply replied, “lookin’.” 

I think we were unable, or even unwilling to truly focus on the scary reality behind Nate standing in a public park, knife in hand, waiting for cops that neither we, or even Nate, knew for certain were even coming. 

So we just kept laughing.

As the night and following day before his release passed, I kept talking to Nate. I shared my extra cookies with him, and forced him to come paint in recreational therapy with me. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how genuinely scared I would be if Nate tried to open my dorm room door in the middle of the night. Or if I saw him middle aged, 6’2”, with a bald head, tear drop tattoo, and the psychique of a retired bouncer, standing in park, knife in hand, having the time of his life.

I asked him if it scared him to be out of control like that. He said that was his favorite part; he didn’t mind losing control. Between him telling me about his attempt to end his life and the meth fueled antics that cost him both his new job in Florida and his boss’ iPad, I realized Nate was funny, knowledgeable, and vaguely socially aware.

During one of our conversations, we found ourselves trapped in a seminar about nutrition. He slapped his hands on his thighs and said, “well, time to go.” I whined and asked him to stay. My insistence on attending every activity offered was at odds with Nate’s style. A style that told me that maybe once he did have my naive enthusiasm towards recovery, but lost it somewhere along the way. He said “you want me to stay?” and plopped back into his chair. He knew I wanted him to be there, just as I had begged him earlier to attend a journaling group session- declining my invitation with a non-committal hand gesture and a “nah.”

We sat through the nutritionist explaining “My Plate,” an updated version of the food pyramid. Nate leaned sideways and quietly grumbled, “is that like MySpace,” and I chuckled quietly in a way that reminded me of my habit of exchanging bad jokes in attempts to survive a boring lecture. When the nutritionist asked what could be used as a meat substitute for protein, Nate shouted out every type of bean he could think of. She asked if anybody had eaten eggplant and he shouted, “oh hell yeah, I had an eggplant lasagna once and that shit was delicious.” His southern drawl made everything he said more melodic, and added a level of enthusiasm he often didn’t like to show- unless he is shouting expletives about his incredible experience with eggplant lasagna.

After I had completely tuned out the nutritionist and began to draw in my notebook, Nate leaned over and asked if we could be friends on Facebook. I sneakily handed him paper for him to write his name down. As he wrote, he told me he may not be able to respond for about 30 days.

It happened again. I had forgotten.

I had spent that day arguing with Nate about whether the book or movie version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is better. This was an especially unwinnable argument given that I had never seen the movie and only gotten 100 pages into the book, and Nate had only ever seen the movie. 

He had given me movie suggestions, quoted Carrie, and given me shit for thinking a Pink Floyd song playing on the radio was by the B-52’s. 

He ranted about the symbolism behind the music video for Another Brick in the Wall as he painted a birdhouse that he could have easily crushed by closing his fist.

So I forgot. I forgot when he interrupted my conversation with a social worker to mime towards my extra cookie I had leftover from snack time. He had already eaten the first one when I offered, and originally declined the second. 

I was happy he asked for this one though, since I had only asked for the extra cookies so I could give them to him. 

But he didn’t know that.

His casual mention of the 30 days made me chuckle, but also made me remember. Remember where I was, why I was here, and who I was talking to.

I remember that when we first met, Nate told me his father had been in this same hospital almost 23 years ago. He also told me he killed himself right after being discharged. He tried to tell me it didn’t bother him, but shrugged and mumbled, “I mean it prolly does but I don’t know.” I want to say he said it casually, but that wasn’t it. He wasn’t laughing, but he wasn’t crying either. Mainly, he seemed defeated. Tired, like this was just the beginning of a long list of bullshit he has tried to deal with in his own way.

He looked at me, but never fully turned his body. 

He told me the only thing he truly remembers about the day his dad died. 

During checkout, his dad checked a box on his discharge forms stating yes, he did think his time there had helped him. But his father made it clear to Nate that he didn’t think it helped his depression. When he asked his dad why he lied to the doctors, Nate’s father told him, “I just want to go home.”

This all flashes back, and I remember that despite a potential Facebook friendship, this was the last time I would see him. Mainly, I was forced to remember that I have no control over his sobriety- and that 2 days of talking and painting with a depressed 24-year-old is not going to keep him from running back to the life he is used to the moment things get difficult in his new facility.

I began to think about my plan of action if I see Nate in 30 days, 3 months, or 3 years from now, standing downtown waiting for a dealer, or embarking on one of the never-ending walks he takes to kill time when the meth steals his ability to sleep.

Would I stop for him? Am I prepared to know fully and truthfully that this attempt at sobriety had failed? That the system had failed? Am I ready to accept the fact that I live in a world where kind, smart, and funny people just aren’t given the chance at life they deserve?

I asked him why he thought this shot at sobriety would work, and he said, “I’m just tired man, this ain’t no life.” So again, I remember. I remember why he is here in the first place- Nate had tried to kill himself. What happens if this doesn’t all go according to plan? What’s next?

His favorite part of the drug he wants to quit is the lack of control, and his drug-fueled delusions grant him his own ability to forget. Nate wasn’t ashamed to tell me his stories, but made it clear he wasn’t particularly proud of them either- with an ambivalence that is both inspiring and troubling. 

I fear the thought of everything he hadn’t had time to tell me about. I worry about what will happen when he begins to allow himself to remember.

During our first conversation, I told Nate I was afraid to leave the hospital because I thought the real world was scary. Without fully looking at me Nate shrugged and said, “it’s only as scary as you let it be.” 

Before he checked out, I gave Nate my copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest to read in rehab. 

Maybe one day we can finally finish our debate on the merits of each version of the story. 

Selfishly, I mostly did this so Nate would remember me. But even if he throws the book away, I just hope he remembers to take his own advice. The world really is only as scary as we let it be.

In our groups sessions this past week, we have talked a lot about forgiveness and second chances. For the past 6 months, I have struggled to handle my anxiety and depression, making my constant battle between forgetting and remembering unbearable.

I’ve learned I need to give myself a second chance, and allow myself to to let go of the things that fuel the trains in my head.

Nate and I are both giving ourselves our own second chances- ones that might end up with us both back in this hospital. Ones that will be scary. 

Whether or not we crash and burn, these are second chances I think we both truly deserve.

The trains in my head will never fully stop, and that’s ok. I feel ready to go home. I feel ready to attempt to live in a world without fear.

And, for the sake of Nate and every single way our short friendship changed me- I just want to allow myself to forget, but always remember to remember.

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

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BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Cost of insurance for 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse?

Sorry I have been asking so many questions about cars lately :) I am leaning towards getting a Toyota Camry because they are so reliable but I have always loved eclipse spyders. I found a 2003 eclipse that is absolutely beautiful and I would be so excited to drive it. I am just wondering what the insurance would cost on it for me. I am 21 years old, live in Arizona, and I have no accidents or violations. I am just looking for a ballpark estimate of what an insurance company would charge me. Thanks!""

Health insurance when a baby is born?

Ok me and my fiance are expecting a child sometime in June, now if we are not married by then can i still cover the hospital costs with my insurance or do we have to be married first. Also does anybody know any good (low cost) family insurance that you can pay on per month and be fully covered?""

Why is insurance cheaper on american cars than asian cars?

I have a friend who was in accident a while back and the end result is his insurance doubled, and he can only afford to buy an american car rather than asian or german. Why is that in canada insurance cheaper on the american cars? Thank you""

Can anyone help me regarding a huge fine for driving without insurance.?

Man, Im screwed. A few years ago I let my insurance lapse on my vehichle and didnt hand the license plates in. Failure to do so means an instant 150 dollar fine for the first month and 7$ a day afterwards. Ok, I was being a complete jackass at that time in my life and figured I would deal with it when the time comes. Well, its that time. I finally got my license back and went to buy a cheap used car. The dealer told me he cant get me plates for it cause I have a violation due to a fine for driving uninsured. The fine is off the charts, $4,455.00. Has anyone ever gotten the MVA to reduce this fee or waive it. I havent tried yet. They offer payment plans at 20% down and the rest must be paid within 2 years. I dont want to do anything illegal per say but just wanted to know if anyone has any ideas. I know, im a jackalope for letting this happen. anyone, let me know""

Would a 2001 jetta VR6 be expensive for insurance?

Would it be expensive for insurance, im 17 almost 18 male car costs around 6000""

Life Insurance?

What is the best life insurance?

Unemployment Insurance for Teenagers?

The business I have worked at for 3 years has just announced they are shutting their doors at the end of the month. I am only 17 but have been told that I am still able to apply for unemployment benefits...which I know next to nothing about. Basically, I've only worked 10-20 hours a week for a wage slightly above minimum. It's just been a part time job for me since I'm a student and involved in several sports and challenging classes. However, I'm still trying to save money for college, so...what do I actually get when I file for unemployment and am hunting for a job? Anything? Sorry if this question sounds ditzy...I don't know much about the workforce.""

Why is it that girls can get cheap insurance?

i passed my test a year now payed a grand for my insurance at first then had to another one as it ran out and had gone down to 400. my bf has been driving for 4 years now and his insurance on his car is 2 grand just for fun he put into see how much it would cost to me to drive his car and came up as a grand lol he was really peed off lol his car is a 1.8 t and mine is a 1l corsa 53 plate and for fun again he went ot see how much i was for him on my car it was a grand lol. how come girls can get it soooooo cheap. so next year am getting my golf gti mk4. am sick of having my slow corsa.

Why can't small businesses in each state group together to get better and more affordable health insurance?

Who regulates this? The insurance companies? The large companies? It doesn't make sense that this cannot be done.

Is insurance needed with a permit?

Im 17 with my drivers permit. Do i need insurance or does the insurance that my parents who are driving with me have cover it? I live in California

Car insurance check for air bags?

So im planning on getting either Allstate or Farmers Insurance, I'm wondering if they will check for air bags when they look at my car.""

How Much is Car insurance policy for an 02 PT Cruiser?

Ok So I am getting my liscense soon and i was wondering how much a policy is for an 02 PT i am also on honor roll and passing drivers ed and was wondering how much it would be for a driver 17 (me) and a driver over 25 with no claims

Is someone else covered under my car insurance to drive MY car?

A guy I'm dating will ask to use my car from time to time because he has trouble with his, but I'm hesitant because even though he has his own car and own car insurance, I don't think he's covered under my insurance to drive MY car. Does anyone know exactly how this works??? I have Nationwide, if that makes a difference............""

Is she paying to much for auto insurance?

my aunt is 35 got a license a year ago has no accidents and she pays 200$ a month for minimum coverage for a 1999 Plymouth breeze. this is in new york....it's some local insurance company oh she has no credit..? i can just imagine how much I'll be paying after i get my license this summer at 18!

Estimate wrx sti insurance?

20 year old male, perfect driving record, state of florida and for either a 2006 or 07 if that even matters""

Do i need insurance if im driving my dads car?

Hello. I was wondering if i need insurance if my dad is teaching me to drive while i got provisional license with the L plates on the front and back of the car? When i pass my test i will get my own car.

Where can i get health insurance to cover accutane in nyc?

where can i get health insurance to cover accutane in nyc?

SR22 insurance?

does anybody know of a low cost company that offers SR22 insurance for a good price. I got to many traffic citations and lost my licence in iowa and they are requireing me to get SR22 to get my licence back.

How much do you pay for insurance?

what car do u have and how much do you pay, also what insurance sompany do u have ? just want to know""

""I'm being low balled by an insurance claims adjuster for damage to my car, now what?

I had a claim against a guys insurance company for damage he caused. They came out today and did an evaluation and now the insurance estimator is saying that the vehicle needs to be totaled and that I will be offered some low ball figure because my car has prior damage which was only cosmetic and minor nothing structural at all. I know that the vehicle will be worth more than they are going to offer. But I just want a fair price for the car. They suggested that it might take some back and forth negotiations and I need to know how to prepare for that and succeed at getting something fair? Are there any angles or cards that I can play that should give me some leverage against their claims adjuster? Your help is appreciated and thank you for your answer!

Affordable health insurance?

my company offers helath insurance for $300.00 a week. If I signed up for this I would end up bringing home 250.00 to support my family. IMPOSSIBLE! Where can I go to find more affordable helth insurance on my own for my family. I live in Massachusetts so it can not be a limited benifit plan. Any websites or phone numbers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Insurance on a 2007-2009 Honda Civic SI coupe?

I am 18 years old and I have had my license for just over a year with a clean record (no tickets, crash, etc.), I was wondering how much full coverage insurance would be on 2007-2009 Honda Civic Si coupe, the insurance will be under my father as primary and me as either secondary or occasional, my father has a clean 15 year driving record. How much will insurance be monthly?""

Best car insurance for college students?

I need to know what the cheapeast car insurance is... ....

Does vehicle modifications raise insurance?

Things like new Wheels, body kits, engine swaps and etc. Would modifications raise insurance?""

Do I still have Health Insurance?

I am 20 years old. Undergraduate student who got married. Blue Cross Blue shield. I was added to my mom's policy years go. I am just verifying. basically as long as I am UNDER 26 years old if I am not mistaken, I should have the insurance right? I mean I can use it and all without any problems. My spouse does not have an insurance policy, but rather uses the university one which all of the students for this particular college pay for.""

Why is my car insurance so high?

Just finished paying a year of car insurance at like 125 a month. Just got my new bill for the year. They want 195 atleast first month. Are there cheaper car insurance companies out there?

Is my pregnancy covered under my mother's insurance?

I just got married this past year and just found out that I am pregnant. My husband and I are freaking out because I am still under my mother's insurance. I am only 24 and supposed to be covered until I am 26. I am also a student. So question is: Is my pregnancy covered under my mother's insurance? If I am covered then for how long? till the baby gets here? Is the baby covered? If I am not covered then how can I get covered?

How much do most people pay per month for life insurance?

How much do most people pay per month for life insurance?

Is it a law in New Hampshire that you must have car insurance?

I recently bought a car that i know own 100% (i am not leasing). Is it a NH state law that i HAVE to have car insurance? Any sources would be very helpful.

Cost to insure 2008 Kawasaki Ninja 250R?

I'm 18 years old, female, live in Virginia... not sure what else you need to know for an insurance quote, but about how much would it cost to insure? Let me know if you need more info. By the way- I've heard many, many times this bike is great for beginners- is this true? What are your recommendations?""

I have no health insurance for my 5 month old?

Ok so my 5 month old hasn't gotten we shots because I came back to NYC from CA due to my mother being sick but I don't planned to live here so I don't want to reopen a Medicaid case out here is there anywhere i could go or something i could do? Plz help

How will I get medical insurance now?

I am 20 years old, sophomore college student at CSUEB. My father just got fired from his job of 7 years due to minor, policy reason. Anyway, because i'm a full time student, I have basically no time to work. I WAS part of my father's health insurance benefits and now, it's gone. So in case I get sick from now on, I won't get admitted into a doctor by just paying the $20 copay visit...instead, i'd have to pay the whole no-insurance amount... I do have temporary insurance at my college but I DON'T like at school..i live about 20-30 mins away. So, in case I get severely sick (worse than fever or cold), I won't get treated until I get enough money to pay for hospital/clinic bills. Anyone know a solution?""

Would i need goods carrying vehicle insurance?

If i was to transport mechanical tools or a regular basis in a vauxhall combo van, would i need to get goods carrying vehicle insurance instead of normal car insurance? I'am a bit new to this so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks""

How too lower car insurance?

this is a extension to my previous question. Im 17 years old and want too buy a 2008 honda civic EX. I would like too start making payments on the car before i head off too college next year. So i need to convince my parents that it wont increase there insurance rates. My dad owns a 1976 jetta and i thought he could put me down as the driver of the jetta and put him as the driver of the 2008 civic so the insurance rates wont go up. is that a good idea ? Any other ideas how i can lower insurance rates? thanks

Car insurance help and rules?

Okay so I am 18 years old living on my own completely dependent. Now if I put my dad as a secondary owner to my car so I still have possession of it and got on his insurance would it be cheaper? Or would it have to be his car. I live in Oregon by the way. And also could I get better rates if say I got on my grandma's insurance? Is that possible considering she isn't my guardian or anything and I don't live with her? Because she has the best credit known to man and I know that affects your rates. If you have have any tip on how I can stop paying 250 a month on my 94 Accord which is 4 door (yes I'm getting very raped by American Family) I would appreciate it.

Is insurance needed with a permit?

Im 17 with my drivers permit. Do i need insurance or does the insurance that my parents who are driving with me have cover it? I live in California

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-any-one-knows-time-requirement-exist-you-have-notify-noena"