#oops I hurt my own feelings

[hopelesshawks]

While we’re on the subject of hurt/no comfort hanahaki:

Keigo getting chronic hanahaki. It’s not necessarily lethal, it’s more like a disability or chronic illness where there are good days and bad. He refuses to confess because he doesn’t have time for a relationship nor does he want to put you in the line of fire (both of villains and of the general public) by starting a relationship with you. Plus you’re his only real best friend and he doesn’t want to jeopardize that either by you not returning the feelings or entering a relationship only for it to go sour.

At the same time, he knows the HPSC absolutely cannot find out about it. They’d flip if they knew he had any kind of chronic condition and they’d also never approve of him getting into a relationship which would leave only one solution in their mind. The same solution that is Keigo’s worst nightmare.

So he’s as careful as he can be about hiding his condition. But there’s only so much he can do for so long…

It’s a bad day. One of those days where he coughs up whole flowers instead of just petals and they come up tinged with red. He’s struck by a coughing fit mid-meeting with the HPSC President and no matter how hard he tries to suppress it and ignore the bitter perfume taste collecting on the back of his tongue, eventually his body has to let instincts take over and let the coughs spill out. By the time he’s done there’s a small, bloody garden on the table and a cold look in the president’s eyes.

The guards catch him while he’s still vulnerable from the coughing fit and make sure he can’t get away.

Not even a week later Keigo wakes up in a hospital bed, chained to it by quirk suppressing hand cuffs as they were the only way of ensuring they’d be able to tranquilize him and keep him still for the surgery.

He wakes up and he still has the memories of you. He still remembers the first time you two met, the first time he made you laugh, the first time he opened up to you, and the first time he realized he was in love.

But now when he examines those memories there’s no actual emotions associated with them. Where his love for you used to warm his heart there is now only a cold, numb indifference that can’t be shaken or removed.

Keigo doesn’t love you anymore.

He can’t love you anymore.

And it’s the loneliest he’s ever felt

[dreamlanddoll]

I wish men actually liked women... a lot of them say that they do but they don't realize that they're usually just talking about our bodies.. or how we can serve them.. I want men to look at women and say wow, they're so smart and have so many cool intrests and I love it when a girl is super talented or talks a lot about her passions I want men to want to learn from us and look at our souls instead all I ever see is how much they love our bodies. I don't actually hate men, I think lots of men are great, but I'm always hit with the painful reminder sooner or later that even though they SAY they like women, I know what they mean. They may not realize it, but from mine, and a lot of girls perspectives, it's obvious. And it hurts. It sucks.

[hella1975]

just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭

[rouge-fauna]

I'm a c!Tommy fan and didn't mind your aspd c!Tommy post. I don't think it was ableist. I don't exactly agree with it either though but you have a right to say it and not get talked about behind your back. I'm sorry that happened. I would probably send an ask about my interpretation in the distant future once all this has calmed down and the abundance of c!Tommy asks have stopped 😅 ❤️

I really appreciate you saying that. :) I’m glad I haven’t pissed everyone off lol, whether you agree or don’t, or like c!Tommy or don't. I mean I personally don't think it's really right to talk badly about people behind their back anyways, but it certainly does feel a little unreasonable to call me dumb, crazy and delusional without even trying to have a conversation with me. What's sad is that there are points to be made and would have been interesting to discuss like an alternative diagnosis or looking more at the diagnosing criteria. Like this is not a hill I would die on, it's not my favorite analysis or take, it's just an opinion and viewpoint I shared with reasons why, the context of which was actually countering the argument of people calling c!Dream a psychopath.

And while I'm at it, I would like to note a few things. In the essay I didn't even call c!Tommy evil or ASPD evil, and I have tried to be very clear that by no means do I believe c!Tommy deserved to be abused in Exile or any other time. And in regards to the alignment chart, I really disliked that analysis anyways. It just doesn't really work. It's a simplified tool for dnd to help people stay to character, but how do you decide what is good, lawful, and evil in a story where, as I have talked about so many times, there is no true system of laws or government, and no widely accepted bounds of morality... So just to be clear, I will reiterate - no one deserves abuse, I do not think c!Tommy is "evil" or the "Bad guy" and I do not think there is a dsmp character who is. And while it may seem like I have a vendetta or am targeting c!Tommy specifically, that's just where discussion has lead recently, mostly because of the finale, anons, and also because of noticing how often c!Tommy calls c!Dream a psychopath I thought it was interesting to look at how it might be the other way around...

Also... I guess... I don't know, aren't y'all bored of having the same old discussions and takes on c!Dream, c!Tommy, c!Wilbur, c!Punz, c!Tubbo... etc over and over? Is it not fun to look at things in a different way and say - what if this is true or - that is true and how does that change things? Is it not interesting to take the same story and lore and see if it can be seen still canonically in a different way? I mean, applying diagnosis is never going to fit perfectly, not just because I'm a 23 year old autistic engineer not a psychologist of any kind, but also mostly because we only have a set chaotic few years of them to look at with no past to base on. But beyond that, isn't it fun and interesting to see if it fits, if it provides an explanation for behavior we didn't have before? Is it so wrong of me to try and see if there are fun new ways of looking at lore instead of having detailed ships and aus?...

Anyways sorry, I may have gotten carried away there, it has been a long Monday. Regardless, it is a shame that it ruined the chance for actual exciting productive conversation and discussion to happen, because I can't say I am not curious on your interpretation. Guess we will just circle back around to it (it seems to be inevitable at his point lol) <3 <3 <3

[lv56steelix]

by default i'm constantly imagining conversations and social situations where i am either fucking up or the people around me are upset at me. how tf do i channel that into imagining like. a cool sword? or at least people being nice to me instead of hating me ;-;

[destiny-in-the-universe]

i am vibrating

some of you are so not prepared for what i have planned. i have a fic being written and trust me, i am going to make it hurt but that's all i'm going to say, i am hoping to have this ready by tomorrow because i am on the grind

this is what that stupid (/aff) show is doing to me, oh my lord

have fun~

[hatchetsfield-arch]

👫 mayhaps steph and grace and or steph and ruth ?

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

✐ grace  has  had  a  crush  on  steph  since  they  were  in  middle  school  —  but  because  she  can’t  like  a  girl  the  same  way  she  should  a  boy,  it’s  sinful  after  all,  she  attempts  to  smother  her  feelings  beneath  a  newfound  crusade    in  the  hopes  that  saving  steph  from  her〝sins  and  temptations〞and  thus  from  eternal  damnation  would  then  too  save  grace  from  her  own  

✐ grace  has  always  taken  notice  of  steph  and  cared,  even  if  it  doesn’t  show  in  the  most  blatant  of  ways.  back  in  elementary  school,  on  the  days  a  teary-eyed  steph  wanted  to  sit  alone  (  teary-eyed  from  what,  grace  wasn’t  sure  -  but  she  now  has  the  black  book  at  the  ready  if  she  ever  finds  out  who  was  responsible  for  steph’s  tears  )  grace  would  come  and  sit  across  from  her,  biting  her  tongue  to  keep  from  prattling  and  handing  steph  whatever  little  treat  her  mother  packed  in  her  lunchbox  that  day  —  the  two  sitting  in  silence  as  they  ate.  this  ended  up  becoming  a  routine  of  sorts,  and  grace  kept  mental  note  of  the  snacks  steph  seemed  to  enjoy  most  and  made  sure  to  always  ask  her  mother  to  pack  them  in  her  lunch  (  and  even  in  their  senior  year  of  high  school,  grace  still  always  comes  with  an  extra  snack  in  her  lunch  bag,  just  in  case  )  

✐ when  throwing  herself  in  between  steph  and  the  lumber  man’s  ax,  she  does  so  knowing  there  was  a  high  probability  she  would  die  a  horrifically  painful  death.  still,  it’s  something  she  does  anyway  —  not  because  she  would  die  a  martyr  like  her  heroes  in  the  bible  (  although  it  is  an  added  perk  in  grace’s  eyes  )  but  because  she  truly  does  care  about  steph  even  if  it  is seemingly only ever expressed  in  shitty  ways  —  and  grace  throws  herself  between  steph  and  the  trajectory  of  the  ax  not  because  she’d  die  a  grand  martyrs  death,  but  because  in  dying  she  might  be  giving  steph  the  chance  to  live.  

✐ after  giving  up  what  she  cherishes  most  in  exchange  for  the  lords  in  black  to  rid  the  world  of  maxwell  jägerman,  grace’s  emotions  flicker  back  and  forth  between  pride  and  disgust.  on  nights  where  the  latter  threatens  to  swallow  her  whole,  she  calls  steph.  the  first  time  it  happens,  steph  is  annoyed,  but  her  tone  seems  to  quickly  change  when  hearing  grace’s  uncharacteristically  weak  and  sniffly;  ‘sorry,  i’m  sorry,  you  can  just  go  back  to  bed’  and  steph  manages  to  get  grace’s  attention  before  grace  can  hang  up  in  regret  and  embarrassment.  steph  does  most  of  the  talking  —  an  effort  that  soon  morphs  into  rambling,  and  grace  stays  silent,  steph’s  voice  providing  a  welcome  relief  and  reprieve  from  all  the  shame  and  disgust  and  guilt.  this  becomes  a  habit,  and  steph  begins  to  sleep  with  the  sound  on  her  phone  all  the  way  up  so  she  wouldn’t  miss  a  call,  just  in  case.

[bi-bats]

Tim was his own worst critic. It was just self-defense, something he’d picked up while he was learning how to stay alive. He’d learned how to slip binds, and how to take a hit, and how to be so harsh on himself that whenever someone found a new hurtful thing to say to him, it was the second time he’d ever heard it. 

It was the best defense he could find: having thought of it first.

[sassenach082]

Ch 16 Update

IT'S FINALLY DONE

just needs to be edited and smoothed out a bit, but she's done, and she clocks in at 33k words so y'all will have some bedtime reading to last you a while until the next one

goodnight y'all stay tuned

[lavenoon]

HI RENEMBER ME??

Happy birthday u Hope today be the best day of your life

And maybe sometime later u will make you an present

HEY HEY!! Hope you're doing better than last time I got an ask from you! 💜

I've been having a great birthday so far, dinner's in the making and then I look forward to a relaxing evening after a pretty chill day! And aaa aaaa!! u dont gotta! ill (positively) die but dont feel pressured fghdjs I am just!! I am just a little flustered guy fhdjs

[jukeboxhound]

Week 2: i don't know how i'm going to handle a husky puppy, it's too much, but the thought of surrendering her back to the shelter is making me cry with guilt and i just can't do that to her

Week 4: we're finding our rhythm together and if anyone looks at my precious beloved amazing babygirl with anything less than worship then i will commit an Absolute Violence upon their person

[ajokeformur-ray]

I wanna watch Joker but it’s 11pm and I gotta be up at 5 for work hhhhhh why do I only ever wanna do things when I can’t?🥺🥺🥺

[toytulini]

oh. i was gonna reblog the one defending toshiro too from a cultural perspective but the reblogs are off. rip

[1nan0th3rl1f3]

Just had what I think was a panic attack, not(?) feeling good!

[magical-goon]

Alright who made fire alarms and carbon monoxide alarms have a low battery chirps??? I JUST WANT TO FUCKING TALK

[uitzinnigmp3]

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