#oops i ended up rambling anyways ^^;
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Goodnight guys I love you!! Thank you for being here ♡
#i was gonna make a rambly post about my silly songs.. its amazing how they can stick with you for so long#but my mind went off on a tangent and im sure its gonna turn into a vent..#so I'll save that for my other blog !!!!#ive been debating about that too.. if you're curious you can dm me or something but i doubt anyone will see this so >.>#then again i keep forgetting how many ppl can actually see my posts jsbsjsb i get jumpscared each time#wdym you're percieving me ∑(;° ロ°)#oops i ended up rambling anyways ^^;#its bedtime so !!! goodnight !!!! i love you with every fiber of my being !!!!!! super duper genuine !!!!!!!!!!!#posts.nae
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Yall i dont think im gonna be able to stop thinking about usha and g13, actually.
Ushas an old old woman, clueless with tech. Lived long enough to develop various bonds with a LOT of people and relies on them a lot for help. In turn, shes VERY loyal to her close conpanions (a great example would be how she tends to back paula up a LOT, the way she sets up russel and paula to 'fake date' wink and all). She's very warm and very emotionally intelligent even if she's a bit clueless sometimes. Her logic is borderline incomprehensible, but it has heart.
G13 on the other hand, is a hacking prodigy. Hes young, hes sought after for his skills for better and for worse. But in turn, he's essentially lost himself in the process. He may be able to scrape nuke codes, but he'll never make a friend. He lacks any loyalty for anyone and anything except for himself and his interests, and if they dont satisfy those two points, then its worth nothing to him. His logic may be sound, but its cold.
#val rambles#nsbu spoilers#never stop blowing up#dimension 20#usha rao#g13#okay ill black out and maybe think more about it again oops#anyway the conclution is that HE will be learning about the importance of la familia (threat)#i could make an addition to this. something about how despite these differences both of them have a level of percived lonliness.#something g13 is. VERY slowly starting to realize when he first sees doug#anyway following the idea that the cards favorite movies signify a degree of. what character arc ends up being#i genuinely think they WILL show him the power of la familia he isnout here trying ti takenover and suddenly BOOM familia beam (threat)#i love adding to the tags and NOT rebloging but. something something about how they push others away#where for usha it comes off as not wanting to burden others she trusts while for g13 its bc he flat out trusts no one#also episode 2 notes that usha also has a set of trust issues due to her reliance on people she DOES trust.
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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oot zelda doodle i liked :’-)))
#tloz#ocarina of time#oot#zelda#my handwriting is very very bad so i actually added alt text/image description#which i should already be doing with everything anyway. i wanna go thru and update some old stuff with that too#but yeah anyway. all the stuff this series presents about being Fated To Be Something or Fated To End Up Somewhere#even if that thing or place is ultimately Horrible and the consequences primarily occur off camera or post-canon after the Happy Ending#characters who end the story with pretty much nothing and also you find out later they inadvertently cause a far worse disaster#than even the one they gave up everything to prevent#oot zelda’s infinite number of issues and almost guaranteed lack of happiness or normality for the rest of her life#even after ‘fixing everything’ in literally the best possible way she could figure out how. given everything she knew#and then blaming herself for accidentally allowing everything to go wrong in the first place. by trying to fix it#and she was literally just a kid going insane from prophetic visions while simultaneously being disbelieved by everyone around her#except impa but she’s a whole other situation entirely. with a whole other set of baggage on the other end of the spectrum#i just rambled sos so much oops. anyway yea oot zelda#its fine. i throw up when i think about her. its fine
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it was meant to be a doodle but no i unlocked something brand new and different instead
(the dusknoir and grovyle is from @/paco-png's pmd: explorers of sky adventure, in which our friend group contributed design elements until eventually we got this. i love how people draw grovyle all battered and with torn leaves and full of scars it makes me feral)
#digital art#cizzle scribbles#art#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd2#explorers of sky#it ended up being not as close to the Actual Plot and a bit more silly like a realtime fandub so warning for ahead#paco still has a bunch of postgame and special episode content to go thru so hoping to hide some rambles in between tags#but in case it doesn't work. uh. paco stop reading <3#aough i can't wait til he gets to THAT episode. we already gave these 2 toxic yaoi a little bit early. oops.#but even then grovyle's whole aesthetic is a mix between dusky's and bread (paco's hero character)#w/ bread being based on paco's ttrpg mortician warlock character (he wanted to characterize her thru the game)#and like. not sure how juan feels about grovyle since he was the one who voiced him in paco's playthrough. but man.#and so he knows how he wants to characterize him fully. but man. the death themes.#and then dusknoir ending up with a primal dialga themed cloak that if you didn't know the context of dialga yet it just#it looks like a cloak that would belong to A Good Guy :) has a bit of a knightly feel#i so badly wanted his crimes to come from a more obsessive/possessive pov where it wasn't just losing his existence (still a factor tho)#it was about losing people he cared about too. how he was dependent on that little light in his life to keep going in the shitty future#and how moonglow (partner) and dusknoir could've easily been in the same position and mindset had moonglow found out sooner#oh goodness the tag rambles are getting long#ANYWAYS. this is definitely not meant to be 1:1 characterization this is definitely moreso an AU due to the realtime fandub so#pmd au#<- tagging just in case#grovyle#dusknoir#character design#artists on tumblr#pokemon mystery dungeon explorers#pmd explorers
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omg i just finished orv im going insane im im i can finally look at that doc of things i saved for after i finished orv and can look at spoilers...i can finally unblock that orv spoiler tag...im so normal about orv
#orv#orv novel spoilers#orv spoilers#bluris rambles#ok stop cause i was literally holding my goddamn breath for like. all the epilogues cause holy shit man holy shit#i was like if singnsong ends orv and doesnt give me any hope that the companions can someday get back not just part of kdj but all of him-#-i will fucking cry bc oh my god#but its ok im ok but also#when i couldnt scroll to the next page...#im#HRJKWANLFJK#also i had such a weird way of reading it. its been like 4 years since i technically started#but i stopped reading it a while back bc life happens rip#i wonder what it would have been like if i had finished the remainding 9% i originally had but just without any of the context i remembered#and then did the full reread#bc i reread only 91% of it technically speaking#i feel like i should reread the last 9% tbh hm#anyways wow it took me 6 months huh#im a slow reader xD#to be fair i was also reading other things#idk what im gonna do without orv as my fallback bc it was always there for me to read even when i finished other books along the way#mayhaps start a new novel whats that one with cale in it#oh yeah i gotta catch up on the webtoon that too#gotta reread tower of god too thats been on my list for way too long...#insert that meme where its like unfollow me right now bc im gonna be so unwell about orv sorry guys but also not sorry bc i finally finally#finished it#am gonna get me merch im so excited#also praying that all the links on that doc i made with buncha stuff like blogs to check out still work oop wish me luck#waht do you fucking mean hsy wrote the novel for kdj and she gave him a reason to live and yjh was created by her but also nr and also-#-kdj is oldest dream and oh my godddd oh my god and yjh going on that trip to spread the story and meeting biyoo along the way
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This guy just hates everyone (including himself) for the most absurd reasons
#hi this is how this appeared in my hand: I read fujii's comic -> I rambled a lot about the comic -> Blackout -> Here you go :D! Finished!#He's laughing about something. Tell me what he's laughing about.#I cannot stop thinking about this guy it's torture#pmd#pmd darkrai#my art#my stuff#pmd eos#pmd explorers#pmd2#pokemon mystery dungeon#explorers of sky#pokemon#pkmn#i have so so many ideas i wanna draw yet i always end up drawing him to a somewhat insane degree and i think the insanity is growing with#every artwork i draw of him#anyways hope you have a lovely day :D! and thanks for reading!#oops forgot this:#eyestrain#bright colors
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christmas tales
2023.12.11

#they wanted to stay up and 'catch santa'#he had to stop them#i think its more in character for them to actually end up catching him somehow but i wanted to draw this anyways so. L!#hes reading about what you all did to the all dogs go to heaven 2 article.#wait i have to add character tags too oops !!! i got too used to rambling not-fandom posts sorry#hlvrai#hlvrai fanart#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai tommy#hlvrai coomer#hlvrai benrey#hlvrai bubby#we are just not going to mention the amount of time it's taking me to draw things .
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Correct me if I’m wrong because at the end of the day I did fail math and I’m still a rookie when it comes to F1 BUT there’s two things that have crossed my mind and I fail to see people mention when it comes to the whole argument about how a lot of people think Oscar should just have let Lando switch places with him in Monza because “Lando has more of a chance to win the championship” and those things are:
1) Oscar is still in contention (even though yes it will be much harder for him to achieve than if he was in Lando’s position); and
2) even though F1 is a team sport, it’s also a individual sport and Oscar is not going to sacrifice his chances to at least be vice champion just because Lando has more points as of now and specially since he still has a chance to actually win the championship.
Like call me a dumbass or whatever but if I was in Oscar’s place I wouldn’t just give it up if I was still in contention. Not to mention that nothing is set in stone yet so. Oh well anyways would love someone who’s more knowledgeable to correct me if I’m wrong lmao
#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#anti lando norris#like I did the math and we still have 8 races to win#thats 200 points up for grabs#taking into account the lack of reliability from the Ferraris and Oscar’s improvement like it’ll be hard since he had a bad beginning BUT!#and if I’m not mistaken if Oscar won the next two races he could get close to Lando or snatch p2 depending on where Lando ends up#that’s just an example though#anyways I’m no f1 expert and if this is a bad take then oops 💀#olive rambles
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My initial impression when I watched Eclipse for the first time (and what I still believe) is that Stella knew full well that Ray didn't humilate himself on purpose in the bank when they were kids. I always read it as Stella knowing how embarrased and ashamed Ray would feel for having wet himself, and instead of trying to console him and tell him that it was okay, she let him be the hero instead. Because even though in Ray's memory he thought that he was being 'John Lennon, James Bond, Joe Namath, all rolled into one', I don't think Stella actually fell in love with an illusion at all. Like Fraser said, 'I am willing to gamble that Stella looked beyond that one incident and saw the whole person'. I think she always saw Ray for who he really was, but Ray's own insecurities about himself made him believe that she had to be with him based on a lie. I think the person who doesn't see Ray clearly is Ray himself. He has such a low sense of himself that he can't imagine her falling for anything but a con. He can't imagine that Stella simply fell in love with little Ray Kowalski, because who the hell is even is that? He's convinced himself that he's been playing the part of 'the hero' all these years that he doesn't really see that he has actually become one. The person who recieved all those citations that Fraser recounts wasn't a lie or a con, it was Ray Kowalski, a good policeman, someone who one would be proud to call a partner and a friend. In my opinion Ray's biggest con was conning himself into believing he isn't good enough just the way he is.
#due south#stella kowalski#ray kowalski#anyway this is why the depiction of stella in some fics of being historically embarrased by ray over the years has always rankled me#she wouldn't have stayed with him since she's 13 if he was a constant source of embarrassment#she truly loved ray for ray#she just sadly ended up outgrowing the relationship eventually#and i think ray tied so much of his identity to stella for so long which is why he struggled so much to let go of her#lol i just wanted to write a little thought about stella and it ran away from me a bit. this is why i don't do meta stuff. i tend to ramble#i just hope i made sense#ds30below#<- oops forgot to tag
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goodness i have never felt so seen by a character .. i think im going to enjoy this show a lot ^w^

#── 𝒚. ♡#warning minor spoilers !! im only on ep 3 but im really enjoying this show so much!#it has everything i love; magic & fantasy plus that medieval feel to it all i cant believe it’s taken me this long to watch#while i was watching i found myself really loving freiren’s outfit an odd amount but could not figure out why ..#until i realized ‘omg.. her and amé are matching🥺’ they’re twins chat!#in another world amé ended up being a catalyst user instead of sword lol#no but back to the reason of being seen aaaajsnwk freiren’s struggle in not being able to know more about people is so real#even with himmel whom she travelled with for 10 years she felt as if she knew nothing about him which i dont believe is the case ..#since throughout the eps we’re seeing her memories of their past adventures and she’s remembering him in the little things ..#which proves likes bestie.. YOU KNEW HIM😭but that really volumes spoke to me#i’ve known people irl and moots on here for quite some time but sometimes i find myself wondering whether or not i really /know/ them#we’ve had conversations about any and everything but somehow it just feels like it’s never enough. like im still learning about them ..#but then i notice the little things.. seeing a cute teacup at work and i think ‘ayame would probably like this one’ seeing a cute shade ..#of soft purples whenever im looking at makeup palettes reminds me of moevie a yaelokre songs comes on my shuffle and my instantly goes to ..#artemis and so much more things that remind me of people i consider dear friends#they seem like such insignificant details in the grand scheme of things and perhaps that’s where i ( and freiren ) feel as though ..#we truly never know much about the people who we’ve come to know the longest and by the time it’s too late ..#we suddenly feel regretful for not getting to know who they were as a person and such#especially now where life happens and sometimes i dont have the energy to speak/catch up with friends sometimes i feel sadden after the fact#but watching this show and seeing the few memories freiren keeps of himmel and the others really made me realize that even ..#when it feels like i know nothing about my moots/friends irl just the fact that im able to think of them in the little ..#things in life serves as enough proof to show that there was some kind of connection there whether it was strong or not ..#or whether it lasted for years or maybe even just a couple of days#oop uh.. SORRY! i did not mean to ramble like that lmao my mind just decided to wander a bit T_T#anyways i love my friends very much and you all mean the world to me regardless of whether or not we talk often <3#p.s himmel and freiren is so amethos coded gawwddddd … i wanna write a drabble abt that now-
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played bg.3 for five hours . i luv my husband.
#fave part was trying to interact w a chest and ending up accidentally talking to star#got jumpscared by him saying i look beautiful /vpos#I’m very normal about him 🙂↕️#anyways…. got side profile refs of star n avi for the art too >_<#i also started playing per.sona 3 as a pastime afterwards but ended up getting super invested. oops. 🏄🏽#📸┆luvie rambles#🩸 ✮⋆˙『 darkstar’s kisses 』
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My designs for Childe’s older siblings (that I’ve finally managed to revisit after *checks notes* two years)
They all used to be super close (they’re the closest in age to each other after all), but then, well, abyss shenanigans happened, Ajax came back violent, he got sent to the Fatui, everyone was traumatised, etc.
Names can be found in the alt text, character intro notes below the cut
Tesey (Тесей Сергійов��ч Нещадименко):
The eldest child, currently working as a textiles merchant, so he’s often overseas as a result (or at least, it’s the excuse he uses to be away from Morepesok). His feelings on Ajax are greatly conflicting and whilst he does feel a level of resentment to him he does ultimately still love him and misses what they used to have. His avoidance of Morepesok and his brother is out of guilt for his perceived failure as the eldest when Ajax disappeared, reappeared and the havoc and grief that ensued was something that was out of his control. He knows what he wants (to go back home, to reconcile with his brother, to better himself) and is trying to work on himself, but he has a tendency to resort to more self destructive means to cope (isolating himself, smoking, can come off as cold and rude when he’s off the clock).
He was in Liyue during the archon quest (tfw your baby brother tried to drown a nation) and ended up going to Sumeru for some time. But after receiving word back home of Ajax’s injuries following the Fontaine fiasco, he immediately started packing his bags and booked a ticket back to Morepesok…
Kyrena (Кирена Сергіївна Нещадименко):
Second eldest child, currently doing her medical residency in Morepesok under the local doctor. A pretty no-nonsense individual who’s desperately trying to keep things together under her stoic image. She’s probably the most well adjusted out of the three since she’s come to terms with her feelings but she’s ultimately extremely upset with how everything turned out and felt the need to step up back home ever since Tesey left.
She’s the only sibling who’s still actively in communication with all the others so she knows that her brothers want to be better and she loves them dearly, but dammit if it isn’t driving her up the wall over how they keep dancing around their issues instead. And now that Ajax and everyone else is finally back home, it only really exacerbates that irritation as she tries so hard to keep everyone together and get them to finally talk for once, if not for her sake them for the rest of the family.
Illya (Ілля Сергійович Нещадименко):
Third eldest child, a hunter who’s also still in Morepesok. He’s quite jovial, extroverted and friendly to those he meets and is more than happy to bust out his domra (doesn’t mean you can just escape his gaze though), but it’s fairly obvious how his mood changes when Ajax is involved.
He doesn’t like to admit it because it makes him feel incredibly guilty, but he’s scared of Ajax ever since that final near-fatal brawl which landed him in the Fatui (Illya had tried to intervene as things got out of control, to protect Ajax and to protect people from him, only to be injured himself and knocked out cold with scars remaining to this day). Now that Ajax is back home, injured, he fees he can’t avoid him anymore and has to confront his issues (if only it were easier said than done).
As for his profession… he’s always had a desire to protect the people he cares about, so he intentionally goes after dangerous animals with his group. Maybe it’s a subconscious response to what happened that day, but he can be patient, and if he finds someone who’s a potential threat to Morepesok, he’s more than happy to play the waiting game.
#anyways they all need therapy LOL#deci doodles#genshin impact#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#childe#tartaglia#childe tartaglia ajax#genshin ocs#genshin oc#tesey neshchadymenko#kyrena neshchadymenko#Illya neshchadymenko#idk whether or not to include patronymics there but feel free to let me know if it’s appropriate or not#there’s a lot I wanna do with them and I can guarantee the amount of text they get here isn’t gonna be all there is to each of them#(I say this because Illya ended up getting more text than I anticipated oops)#I’ll also post their parents once I’m able to actually draw their designs ajdhwjdj#as for namesakes#Tesey’s named after Theseus#Kyrena after Cyrene#and Illya’s named after Ilya Muromets#basically wanted to keep the legendary hero theme going like with Ajax and Teucer#tag rambles#neshchadymenko family
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good morning!! <33
#woo it's sunday :3#so breakfast as usual#then me actually playing hsr as promised#(ended up distracted by a kpop random dance yesterday and didn't have the energy for it when i was done oops hehe)#but anyways i should have plenty of time to do it today#at least make /some/ progress#then... writing hopefully#anyways... i hope today/tonight's kind to you! <333#morning rambles
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#FUN FACT. fab moretti did drums.on two songs on Introduction Presence#this song (indignities) & sacred tongue!!!!!#i love when musicians i like end up on each others stuff. cos obviously ian richard devaney (the singer in nation of language)#did vocals and other stuff with fab in machinegum!!!!!#sorry 4.tag rambling. oops#nobodys gonna read this anyways lmao#Spotify
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