#even after ‘fixing everything’ in literally the best possible way she could figure out how. given everything she knew

[kagoutiss]

oot zelda doodle i liked :’-)))

[lhuxlux]

You know what? I absolutely LOVE the way Fionna & Cake (the show) told us how important Simon Petrikov (the one we know) was. Let's check out the most important universes. As expected, there will be spoilers:

Farmworld is pretty obvious itself. Simon was able to prevent the bomb that would have brought the Lich, which is pretty impressive itself, but that didn't stop the Lich forever and Simon wasn't able to take care of Marceline or even contact Hunson Abadeer. Because of this, Marceline dedicated her whole life (literal centuries) to guard the crown knowing it was too dangerous. Eventually, she dies after Farmworld Finn accidentally activates the bomb. Simon's sacrifice was noble, but it only delayed something that was inevitable and Marceline didn't have the best life guarding her friend and father figure's corpse for centuries due to the crown

Simon doesn't have the purpose of sacrificing his own life in order to save Marceline and other people. Becoming Ice King again for Fionna and Cake was a way to abandon and sacrifice the life he regained thanks to Betty. No one has such purpose, it was just Farmworld Simon's choice and we can see the consequences of his absence even years after those events occurred and our boy Prismo had to fix things a bit

After that, the show presents us Winterworld and a version of Simon that managed to "conquer" the crown and seemed like the perfect outcome for everyone involved: Simon keeping his sanity without facing the consequences of not only using the crown but also being a magic user again to bring magic back to Fionna's world. Thing is MMS (Magic, Madness, and Sadness) applies to all magic users and it is unavoidable, all of them will show different degrees of those three characteristics. Winter King is no exception, he is still mad despite projecting most of his madness on PB. We can see this because he made an ice version of Marceline despite saying it would be unethical to do the same with Betty

Simon cannot be a magic user because otherwise he won't be the Simon we know (Remember the Tiny Manticore mentioning how Betty changed as well after becoming a magic user?). He knew this every time he needed to use the crown in order to protect Marceline and survive. He acknowledged it was the only way to do it despite knowing the long-term effects and being aware he also hurt Marcy. Simon was no coward, he probably was scared and knew no one could save him from the crown's madness, and still tried to be himself when he could

Probably the reason why Winter King lost his Marceline was because he wanted to have the crown's power to survive without facing the consequences of using it, maybe he overused the crown itself until Simon was completely gone, making him unable or too dangerous to take care of Marcy. Winter king lived in a bubble in which he thought he was completely sane (which is not even possible if you are a magic user) and everything, including himself, was perfect. He wants to believe he's Simon but that's not the case, Simon is far gone and deep down he knows it when he took the name "Winter King" and decided to make his kingdom instead of using his own name and trying to live as Simon Petrikov, not some king

And, of course... Vampworld

The perfect answer to the question "How important is our Simon Petrikov?"

A world in which Marceline was never raised by Simon, and Hunson was absent or didn't mind that his daughter was raised by the Vampire King. Marcy didn't become a vampire hunter and didn't help humans survive. This is because she was educated in a different way since she was very little, and keep in mind that Marceline was already thinking she was a monster because she couldn't comprehend why her mother couldn't be with her anymore. Vampire King just encouraged her to behave like an actual monster

Simon cared about Marcy and her education, seeing her as a scared little girl living in the end of the world, not a monster despite knowing she was different. Again, he admitted he was Marceline's father figure and raised her as his own. This is why Simon is scared and maybe even a bit sad when he watches Marcy acting in such a cruel way, and that's why he loses his shit and calls the Vampire King a bad dad, he couldn't stand seeing someone else encourage that behavior on Marceline

Simon's education wasn't the best, he had his own struggles due to the crown, but he did his best and that made a difference on Marceline's life, he even bothered to contact Hunson so she wouldn't be all by herself. It was a pity he didn't know that Hunson himself wasn't that good as a father but leaving Marcy all by herself would have been cruel

And yet, Simon himself couldn't see this despite living it. He was still trying to save Fionna's universe by becoming Ice King again. Why? He thought his purpose was to help others by sacrificing himself, that's what he learned with Marceline when he took care of her, this made him think that Simon Petrikov didn't matter, only Ice King because he's able to make Fionna's world magic again and could stop Scarab, fueling his identity loss

Most people cannot realize how important they are, even if they didn't lose their identity. Sometimes it is too hard to know how important we actually are or we tend to forget and re-learn it, and this is something the show remarks despite Simon helped Fionna save her universe. He didn't need Ice King, but that doesn't mean it is over and he learnt his lesson

It is a longer process because there are ideas or thoughts about ourselves that are hard to abandon or not to pay attention to in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes

[dairy-farmer]

You ever think about how Tim has NEVER had normal sex in his life?

Has only known superhumans and Peak Physical Condition trainwrecks?

Think about it. Who would he have lost his virginity too? Some grabby, gross, civilian he can't relate too? That reeks of B.O. and would ask QUESTIONS about his battle scars? Or his BROS? Who he trusts. Who love him and understand him. Who where THERE when he got those wounds.

Who would stop if he told them too.

He totally, after working up the courage, siddles up to Bart and asks if he... you know... could help him with something. Because Tim's NOT about to risk his first time to SuperStrength and complexe FEELINGS. And Bart is from the future. He's much more chill about this.

But he's? Also a fucking SPEEDSTER? They VIBRATE when they get excited. That same stamina that can let them run for what TO US, OUTSIDE the Speedforce, seems like hours? It's literally DAYS to THEM. Fuckers are stamina BEASTS.

But Tim is still learning, hasn't figured that out yet. Bart is his Fun Friend. Light hearted and chill. Good first time material.

So they fumble out of their clothes. Bart getting more and more hyped. Vibrating. Trying to stay in slow time with Tim. They fumble about, learning what touches feel good. Vibrating fingers on his clit? Feel REALLY good. The same for inside him. A little lubricant, because he read you're supposed too, aaand? Oh. Oh god.

And look, Bart DID try! It just felt... *incoherent noise*

Which leaves Tim getting fucked at superspeed. Nerves lighting up and muscles trying to react to something that's already moved on. Getting gushed into again and again like a stream that keeps coming, ruining his sheets. Feeling hands everywhere as the sensations catch up.

He can't possibly keep up. Gets offs so many times his brain decides its NAP TIME now. Wakes up to Bart panting into his neck, his puss full and gushing cum down into the PUDDLE under his hips, and another orgasm.

Tim learns that Speedsters tend to marathon their sex.

His everything feels bruised.

Bart has to fix his bed as Tim steals Bart's. But! No longer a virgin. And when he recovers? He TOTALLY gets the "deal" with sex now. (No he doesn't. Speedster sex is an outlier.)

Thing is? No one thinks to correct this misinformation. Why would they? OBVIOUSLY somebody ELSE gave Young Justice "The Talk", right? Nope. Individuals got it, but not as a team. Tim never got SHIT. He RESEARCHED.

Figured out "safe sex" is birth control and NOT letting the Half Kryptonian with super strength be "on top". You have to ride THEM or you risk bruises in delicate places and potentially broken bones. Luckily, Kon has TTK. So he can help.

When Tim doesn't want to do all the work or is tired, Kon can just... wrap him up in that full body hug of a telekinetic field. Lift him and slide him back down, as fast or as slow as feels good. Tease everywhere that feels good at once. Even if Tim drifts off, while Kon is teasing himself after making Tim orgasm, his whole body is supported so he can just sort of relax. Drift and feel good.

Let Kon use him for a bit.

It takes so LONG for Kon to cum, but Tim thinks they're getting better at it!

Of course, Batman would NEVER. Is distant. But Tim tries his best to be a good Robin. Bond in any way he can. It all falls short. Bruce brittle and hurting. Then? Some idiot tries to recreate Ivy's Pollen. She catches word. Does NOT appreciate that. It's a shit show.

Their masks hold. But in the fight, Batman is sent crashing into a crate of experimental samples. It wouldn't be a problem, if not for the metal joints of the crate stabbing JUST enough to break skin, though a weak point in his Armour.

They don't notice until the fights over. Long after an emergency counter-toxin would be effective.

Tim manages to get him to the Batmobile. Get them back. Agent A, has a fever and is upstairs. Fast asleep in bed. Can't help. The emergency Ivy counter agents will only go so far. Luckily, Tim knows where the napping couch is. It has a pull out bed.

Bruce doesn't put together his plan until he's already half removed the suit, his brain already sluggish and overheating. He tries to object, but it is strangled into a groan when Tim leans forward and tries his hand at using his mouth. Because to be honest, Tim isn't sure Bruce will FIT.

He barely fits a few inch in his mouth.

He's gonna have to try though. Pollen really only has one cure. And if Bruce had groaned at his mouth? He nearly sobs for air when Tim carefully rocks over him, lines up and breathes into the strain as he let's himself slide down. Bruce's hand shoot up to catch his hips, flexing like they want to slam him down and lift him off, like they a warring and can't decide.

But Bruce's hips know what they need. Are desperately rocking up. A little deeper. A little deeper. Impaling Tim on the biggest cock he's ever taken. Tim let's Bruce control things. Take what he needs. Rubs his clit to try and help with the strain. And then? He's so, SO full.

Bruce is rolling them. Hiking up his hips and leaning forward to rest his sweating forhead on Tim's shoulder. Holds him possesive and close as he fucks him. Slow at first them faster and faster. Harder. Until it feels like Tim's insides are being battered. Growling in his ear, his, his. His robin. Good boy, his.

Like something finally snapped and all the desperation finally fell out. The lust and greed.

It's like Bruce is trying to drain him of every orgasm he can possibly HAVE. Too much. He's so tired. It's good. Overwhelming. Goes on and on and ON. Surely he's cured now? Right? Tim drifts. Wakes up in Bruce's Bed. Weren't they in the cave? But Bruce is still inside him, rocking, gently and just to feel it. Shhh, shhh, go back to bed. Yeah. Okay.

Bruce is a lot nice after that though. They're closer. Tim has definitely found his bonding activity.

It works on Dick too. Who was between relationships. Depressed again. Lonely. And... well, Tim is so WARM. Feels so good to cuddle. Too bend in half in a good ol mating press and just? Get as close as he CAN. It's fun to eat him out until he sobs. Sit him in his lap like a cuddly little buddy and split him open, carry him around all day like that. Maybe Dick gets a little bit obsessed too. A little attached. Who's to say?

But! Each and every person? Who wants a piece? Not normal! Super human or frankly human outliers with intimacy issues that make them backed up! Tim who thinks Sex=Railed Into Oblivion! That you gotta SCHEDULE around it, because OBVIOUSLY you won't be able to walk or move after. This is normal and to be expected, right?

What do you MEAN "no"?

-🐼

tim being completely out of touch about what normal sex is supposed to be like 😭😭😭😭! the only people he's ever fucked has been people who are so beyond what could constitute as normal and all have conditioned tim to believe that sex is just LIKE that 😭

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: some HCs on what it's like to be the pet of each Dimitrescu?

Ooh, I like this! Some of them are angsty and I’ve marked the ones that are… Let’s get into it!

TW/CW: Unhealthy relationships. Please take care of yourself.

Alcina: Angst Alert

Alcina is known to take in pets often. She spoils them, but she expects a great deal from them in return.

Whether it be relieving her pent up sexual frustration, or even cleaning or fixing things, this is not a free ride.

The consequences of not living up to the lady of the castle’s standards are grueling at best and excruciating at worst.

She does not hesitate to deal painful blows in order to get what she needs from her pet. The lady’s pet is so in love that they stay no matter how unhealthy the relationship is.

As tough as she is, she grows to adore these quirky humans that she handpicks out of literally hundreds of servants at the castle.

However, she can be quite fickle. When she loses interest, she sends her once-treasured pet to the dungeon to succumb to their fate. While Alcina’s pets are valuable to her for a time, they are also replaceable.

She always presses a tender kiss to her pet’s lips before having her daughters drag them kicking and screaming to the cells below the castle.

Then the cycle starts over again and she is smitten with a new target…

Bela:

Bela is very sweet. She treats her pet with love and kindness which only fuels her pet’s loyalty to her.

Her pet becomes comfortable enough to take some of Bela’s assignments off her hands. They live to serve her.

Her relationship with her pet starts slow, but she finds that life without them just isn’t the same.

They bring her comfort, much like a security blanket.

When Bela commands something, it’s honestly more of a request. She doesn’t want her pet to be uncomfortable, even though she’s in charge and could force them easily to do her bidding.

Bela has rules for her pet to follow, of course. Manners and etiquette are a must with her. If her pet comes from a background where they were not taught these principals, she carefully guides them through everything they need to know.

Bela hates having to punish her pet if they do something way out of line. She typically lets most things slide but with a very stern warning about not letting it happen again.

Her pet is so loyal, that they try their best to follow Bela’s rules as accurately as possible.

Cassandra: Angst Alert

Cass typically finds a pet and holds them against their will. She will go as far as chaining them to one spot in her room to keep them from escaping.

She is a harsh disciplinarian. She knows her pet is being held as a prisoner and wants to lay down the law if they show her any disrespect.

If her pet protests their standing as Cass’s pet, she quickly puts them in line. Usually, one harsh punishment is all it takes for her pet to try and make a better effort to serve her.

She finds her pets in the dungeon, usually. Something about them catches her attention, whether she thinks their blood smells delicious or they are very attractive.

If a pet ever breaks a rule, Cass uses physical punishments as a way to curb this.

Sometimes when she is trying to teach a pet a lesson, she goes too far and seriously injures them or worse. She doesn’t realize her own strength.

Cass hates to lose a good pet, but if they are mortally wounded she figures it’s best to end their suffering and just finish them off by feasting on their blood. She only picks pets with the most enticing scent for this reason.

Cass is most interested in getting all of the usage out of her pet can as she can. She hates to waste things, after all.

Cass will try to keep a pet as long as possible, but they usually only last a couple of months in her possession.

Daniela:

Dani treats her pets like the most precious of objects. She likes to use her pet to reenact her favorite scenes from books and plays. This usually entails a lot of dress up on her pet’s part.

Dani could never bring herself to use physical punishment on her pet. She grows to love them and wants them to understand when they make a mistake and correct it on their own.

Dani is patient with her pet as they learn her preferences. Her pet only wants to be of service to her and works hard to fulfill all of Dani’s wishes.

Dani loves to use her pet as a cuddle companion and has them read to her as she falls asleep. This is one of her favorite activities to do with her pet.

Dani instructs her pet early on that she wants to be worshipped, and that’s exactly what they do.

It makes her feel like a princess when they wait on her hand and foot.

Dani makes her pet a necklace to wear that has a green gem on it, signifying that they belong to her.

She gets very possessive of her pet and will keep most people from interacting with them because of this. They are hers and hers alone.

Note: Wow, I went super dark with this one. Sorry for the angst, but these are just my head canons!

Masterlist

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Being Marc Spector’s sibling

Pairings: Marc Spector x gn!teen!reader, (Steven Grant x gn!teen!reader, Moon Knight x gn!teen!reader, Konshu x gn!teen!reader, Jake Lockley x gn!teen!reader)

Imagine: what I think it would be like to be Marc Spector’s little sibling

Warnings: child abuse, abandonment, mention of death, angst, protective Marc and Steven, fluff (is fluff even a warning) mention of school and grades

A/N first of please ignore the fact that I accidentally spelled Konshus name wrong a few times in this, I don’t have the energy to fix it.

so I’m finally back at writing, it’s the first day of summer break and I’m continuing writing the request that I have, and sorry for the wait on those requests, but at least I hope you can enjoy this for the time being.

And I added the grade part because if you are anything like me you don’t have the best grades in school and are kinda tired of all the readers have like the highest grade or so

And lastly I did not exactly follow the mcu timeline with everything in this, just so you guys know

I’m thinking you were like very young when Marc and Randall went to the cave, like a baby or something like that

So growing up you wouldn’t of really known who Randall was

But guess what your mother still blamed you and Marc for what happened to Randall, even though you hadn’t done anything, it wasn’t like you could do anything, as you were a baby at the time

Your mother thought that if you hadn’t been born then she could of had more attention on Randall and Marc, to make sure that Marc didn’t do anything stupid

Because of that when you got older your so called mother started hitting you as he did with Marc

Though it rarely happened to you as Marc promised himself to always protect you, he couldn’t protect Randall so you got all his attention instead of both his younger siblings

Marc took most of the beatings, and when he left when he was older it all changed, after all now you were the only child that your mother could beat

Your father had tried to stop some of the beating but it was to no luck

Though luckily for you, you were able to walk away just like Marc had done

Once again your father knew he couldn’t stop his other child from walking away so instead he gave you a bit of money and went home, not without a goodbye of course

And with that you were finally out in the world away from that hell you had called home for so many years

You hadn’t heard of Marc in a very long time and you didn’t really know what to do

But unbeknown to you ever since Marc had become the avatar of Konchu he had always made sure to at least twice a week (often more) check that you were okay, especially when you still lived with your parents

Ultimately you ended up moving to London, studying at one of the best schools

You got a job at the library close by your apartment and actually got a pretty good amount of money from it, it was enough to get you by

So one day when Steven walked into the library to loan a book you didn’t know it was him

You hadn’t seen Marc or Steven in a very long time and had no idea how they looked now, as you never even went to your mothers funeral

Of course you knew Steven you had met him a few times as a kid when Marc still lived at home, he was the one who used to read to you every night if Marc had a really bad day that day, and you had seemed to love when Steven read to you as he read with such enthusiasm and excitement

Though eventually you figured out that it was them

And let just say you were angry

Marc had literally left with Steven without contacting you in any way possible

Turns out Steven had thought he talked to you every day but he wasn’t as well as he never talked to your mother either

So that left you angry at Marc, you thought he had died

But when Marc talked to you about it he also told you that if he wanted you to be safe Konchu had told him that you and Gina couldn’t be in contact

After that the two of you tried to slowly mend together your relationship

It had its ups and downs but eventually you all made it work

Even Konchu let the two of you be, for some reason he liked you and couldn’t bare to see you sad, and well for some reason you could see him (he thought it could be because you and Marc shared blood, but none of you ever truly figured it out)

One of the strongest memories of these times I think would be the first time you saw Marc fight with the Moon Knight suit

You had nearly been mugged by a few thieves while going to the store late at night bc you had to go buy something (idk what)

That was when Moon Knight showed up and beat the crap out of the guy until Steven were able to stop Marc, as he reminded Marc that you were in fact still there watching everything

So Marc stopped and went over to you instead and comforted you

Turns out a few days later those thieves ended up dead not because of Marc or Steven no because of Jake, who you had actually never met before

After that night you were a bit scared at first as it had reminded you of your mother but eventually after a lot of promises for Marc about not killing people while you were close by, and a lot of cuddles from Marc as well it all turned out okay

Eventually you guys moved into the same apartment as Marc was like your guardian at the moment

Turns out it was one of the best things you ever did

Marc usually bought you some kind of snack and often times he made Stevn come home with something from the museum as it turns out after seeing Konchu for the first time you got fascinated by Egyptian mythology

Turns out Marc is better at cooking food than you are

And now you had someone to help you with your homework, and this time around in school you didn’t need to bother about getting the highest grade, it didn’t matter if you were best in your class or not as you didn’t need to try and get your mothers attention, or to try and make her proud

And all of this was a very big relief

A lot of pranks were pulled on Konchu by you and Marc, or you and Konchu pulled pranks on Marc after all you never really got to do that as a child

And Marc had brought back some of your childhood for you that you had missed out on, all those thing that other kids used to do that you never could, well Marc made sure that you could have your freedom now

Overall you and Marc have the best sibling bond

And eventually Steven and Jake became your siblings as well

+ you met Layla sometime on the way and the two of you always go against Marc with each other

[magicalrocketships]

do you have ideas of things you'd like to see in buddie fics? I love your writing sm and I'd love to see your take on buddie

YES. I have had a LOT of thoughts about fucked up boys sorting themselves out, and also one where Eddie cries a lot about figuring out he's not straight, but I ALSO had this one fic idea that kept me company in the middle of night for a LONG TIME, which was basically WHAT IF BUCK AND EDDIE GOT JEALOUS MARRIED

Like, they go to Vegas for... something. Chim's birthday. IT DOES NOT MATTER. They're in Vegas. People are joking about other people coming to Vegas and getting drunk and getting married, idk, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Buck and Eddie react entirely appropriately to this joking suggestion, and think... huh. What if we got married? That would fix everything!

It is important to note that there is nothing to fix

They are just two best friends occasionally and with some legal back up co-parenting a child, what needs fixing about THAT

So! They slip away. Why are they doing that? Who knows. And then they're like, "So, getting married, huh? What a joke."

They are not joking, and there is nothing to fix, but they are both thinking, in their special screwed up kind of a way, if they are married to EACH OTHER then it is IMPOSSIBLE* that the other person could marry SOMEONE ELSE and it is very important that even though there is NOTHING to acknowledge about how jealously they guard each other, that there be ZERO permanence about anyone else in their lives

*it is absolutely possible, they are just stupid

(for each other)

Buck and Eddie get married in Las Vegas because what is MORE NORMAL than two best friends who are not queer for each other getting married on a drunken weekend in Vegas while almost entirely sober

They hug after getting married because W O W what a relief, now everything is fixed!!!! Amazing how much of a relief it is to know that everything is fixed now, everyone is going to be better off!!!

They don't tell a single person

They go back to their lives secure in the knowledge that everything is fixed now and continue to do everything EXACTLY THE SAME as they did before they went to Vegas and got secret jealous married

Except maybe IDK Eddie updates his will or something

And then says to Buck that he should do the same but HEN OVERHEARS

and later on has to say, what the fuck, Buck (even funnier because it rhymes) and Buck has to be, like, "Yeah so Eddie and I are MARRIED now, isn't it great, it fixes EVERYTHING!!!"

Hen: "..."

And then Hen has to go out of her mind for the next eight months because literally NOBODY knows that Buck and Eddie are very happily married whilst living entirely single* lives and never actually kissing or living together

*they are very clearly not single because they are, at this point, a) married and b) not in the least bit interested in anything with anyone else

Also they have a KID to bring up which they are doing TOGETHER and have only sort of realised this

So they go BACK to Vegas a year after getting married, who knows what for, it very clearly DOES NOT MATTER, and Buck says something erudite and well adjusted about how it must be nice to get the right number of hugs every day

He has read that article about the number of hugs required for emotional wellbeing

He has shared that article about the number of hugs required for emotional wellbeing

Eddie, who is very well adjusted, says, "huh, maybe we can be that for each other?"

Hen at this point is melting into the concrete, willing herself to become at one with the universe rather than put up with the secret that she cannot tell anyone, which is that Buck and Eddie are so stupid they need STUDYING, in a LAB

Buck and Eddie begin The Year of The Hugs which is Hen's least favourite year because it turns out Buck and Eddie are both TOUCH STARVED and also still OBLIVIOUS about how in love they are

Buck and Eddie like to go to each other's places just to hug, which is Normal

God, they're so normal

Getting married really HAS fixed everything, they're so good at this

Meanwhile no one else has noticed anything because this is mostly going on at home and no one else really thinks too deeply about anything, which Hen maintains was her first mistake. She has given up thinking. It's safer.

Buck and Eddie start having hugging sleepovers rather than Buck sleeping on the sofa when he stays over

Christopher, who, despite having Eddie for a father, has some critical thinking skills (this is unfair to Eddie, who is very good at critical thinking when it comes to work, but who has the emotional capability of a boiled egg when it comes to understanding who he is and what he wants and what he is feeling)

Christopher gives up trying to explain that Buck is his dad's best friend and just calls him his other dad when he has to tell his friends' parents who's picking him up and dropping off at things

Everyone deals with this like it's entirely normal, which it is, because they've never had to deal with the flat expression of two men dealing with having a functioning family relationship for the first time in their lives by not realising they have one

Christopher assumes that his dads are dating but not telling him, so he makes them a card that says CONGRATULATIONS and then they all have to have a conversation where each sentence is stupider than the last one where Buck and Eddie explain that they LOVE each other and they SLEEP together but only because they like to HUG and that is NORMAL

Christopher considers giving his parents up for adoption

Particularly when they explain that they are MARRIED but that is just because it FIXED EVERYTHING

still nothing to fix

Christopher suggests, quite gently, that maybe his dads should just try BEING MARRIED because they ARE MARRIED and nobody is talking about DIVORCE, right?

Buck literally cries at the mention of divorce, Eddie looks like he's swallowed a boiled egg whole

Christopher googles my dads need therapy

Buck and Eddie add holding hands to their repertoire of married tricks

Hen considers emigrating to the moon

Buck and Eddie have been married eighteen months and have yet to kiss or admit that they want to

they want to

this is the end of part one because I am tired

[look-at-the-soul]

Look at the soul- Cillian Murphy (Prologue)

LATS Master list

⚠️ Grief

Pairing Cillian with OC

Summary: At forty four years old, anyone would think you have your life figured out, right? Well, life has some funny -or cruel- ways sometimes… Overnight widowed with two sons at the not-teenagers-anymore, nor-adults-yet phase, Cillian Murphy is forced to start everything all over again. Asking for a sign that it’s the right time to go back into work, he comes across the woman his best friend and screenplay writer and himself had been searching for so long to take the leading role in a play that had been waiting for her as well.

Behind the scenes: This story started as a dream, I literally dreamed one night the end of the play and started from there. Please note I’m not involved in theater 🎭 also, I’ll be adding some songs and lyrics (in italics) I think that fits the story (if you fancy sending some recommendations I’m more than happy to hear!) -Yes, the name is just like my blog… because that’s why I started this, the very first story I wrote, with this play in mind 💖🍀

Suggested song: “Show me the meaning of being lonely” Backstreet Boys (I ♥️ this acoustic version)

“Just leave it, really doesn’t matter.” He asked frustrated after ruining dinner.

“Let me take care of this sweetheart.” His mother ignored his petition and started to fix it.

“Where do you keep the toilet paper? There’s nothing in the bathroom.” His sister asked from the hall.

“I don’t know.” He shuddered. “In the cabinet probably.”

“Already looked there C.” She was trying not to roll her eyes, Cillian just raised his shoulders.

Looking around, he found his other sister picking up the dirty dishes he left over the couch along with the mug he was sure he used last week. Moving everything to the dishwasher, she then walked around the living room picking up the sweatshirt he probably used days ago. Between the cushions, she found a pair of socks and the glass of water he left on Saturday.

The steps of his mother brought him back to reality, she was rushing with the basket full of clothes that she washed, it was perfectly folded now, he moved to the left just in time to avoid a crash.

He was tired both, mentally and physically.

Letting out a loud sigh, he thought about how his mother and sisters showed up half an hour ago, and even though they didn’t say it, their actions were screaming that he was a fucking mess. They offered to prepare the meals for him and his sons daily, showed up on his doorstep unannounced and started to tidy everything up, every single thing that was out of place.

Bringing his thumb and index finger to his eyes, he started to massage them with his fingertips.

He knew they were only trying to help him, but in reality, they were only making him feel stupid and useless.

But he should be used by now, since they had this dynamic going on for a little longer than a year. Since he was widower.

“Will you do the night tales channel?” His younger sister asked.

“I don’t know… eventually I guess.”

“My favorite is when you read poems.” His other sister confessed. “You could do it on your own from your basement.” Cillian shook his head, he preferred to stay as far as possible from the internet. “What? You could even do it anonymously.”

His mum showed up again in the kitchen and without a word, started to organize the receipts, bills and bank statements that he had been accumulating over the kitchen island since the last time they were over. Folding them correctly, she placed them in a drawer.

“Forget about it.” He answered blunty. “Would you mind keeping an eye on them? I need to go out.” He asked meaning about his sons who were upstairs.

The three of them shared a concern look, Cillian wasn’t doing well, he had been answering with monosyllables for over a year, he was distracted, serious

There was no point of staying anyways, there was nothing he could do… they had already taken care of everything, the clothes, the food, the mess in his house, his kids.

He leaned his head against the cold glass of the bus. Visiting the place where they kept the ashes of the woman who once was his wife always left him emotionally shattered. He walked by inertia, following the same path without really paying attention to anything, the tiles on the floor were the same, the lines that marked the limit over the platform hadn’t changed in the last ten years, the sign that showed what to do in the case of a fire that hanged at the E-five station was so worn out that it could barely be read.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

So many words for the broken heart

It's hard to see in a crimson love

So hard to breathe

And just like that, he could make an endless list of the things that after all these years were the same, it was only his life what had changed so drastically.

The thing is, nobody understands the grief you are living unless they went through the same situation. And even that way, everyone goes through it in a different way.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Is this the feeling I need to walk with?

As for his family, truth is he would be forever grateful for all the help they have been giving him, but it wasn’t fair for them to do all the things he was supposed to be doing. It wasn’t right. But he wasn’t sure of where to start.

Life goes on as it never ends

Eyes of stone observe the trends

They never say forever gaze, if only

His life ironically was a copy paste of the character he played a while ago for a stage play his friend Enda Walsh had adapted from the Max Porter book “Grief is a thing with feathers.” Precisely of a widower man that has two kids while the book tells how the family goes through the grief over loosing his wife and there’s a crow that also takes part of the story.

For example, he had locked in himself. Not sharing with anyone his feelings, fears, let alone his pain. He tried to stay strong and on one piece just for his sons, but honestly, he wasn’t sure of how long he would be able to keep going like that.

He made the decision to cancel all of his projects scheduled to be able to be with his sons. But now he was starting to get desperate of not doing anything. He had a lot of free time and when you go through a loss like that, it’s the last thing you need.

He made a mental note to call his agent once he got back. Perhaps he could start having a look on a couple of projects, see what’s out there… maybe he could start with a small project or return to do the radio shows, record something, anything.

He just needed a signal, something that screamed at him that it was really the right time to go back to work, to focus on himself.

Because when his family left and his sons locked themselves in their rooms, he was left accompanied just by a suffocating loneliness that gave him the warmest welcome and welcomed him with open arms. He had already made peace with it, there was nowhere to go. Just like that, overnight he was left without his partner, the mother of his kids, without a warning, with no time to somehow prepare himself.

Part of his problem was how life slapped him in the face, he felt like he was in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to run. And he also knew he couldn’t keep living like that.

Maybe by returning to doing what he loved the most, he could get back a part of what he had lost.

Adjusting in his seat, he looked at the people that took the bus, they were looking for a place to sit. He suddenly felt a shiver running down his spine, so he rubbed on his arms. Three boys around his sons age walked to the end of the bus, a man wearing a suit and tie was talking using his Bluetooth, a girl with her nose pierced and hot pink hair sat a few rows of him. Followed by a woman with a diaper bag, another bag full of shopping and a baby in her arms.

Behind her, a woman showed up, her dark hair was styled in loose waves, she was wearing white jeans and top with a beige cardigan, but her monochromatic outfit wasn’t what impressed him, but the energy she exuded, she had a genuine kind smile on her lips while her eyes were looking for an empty spot.

He wasn’t religious, but she was the closest he had ever seen to an angel.

“Adria.” He mumbled out of breath and then, he panted.

…She was unstoppable, and she took anything she wanted, with a smile.

***

Next part

A/N: let me know what you think, remember your comments mean the world to me 💖🥰

Outfit inspiration:

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @gypsy-girl-08 @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @onlydeadcells @lespendy @datewithgianni @cutecurly-hair @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @kettlechips3 @kaitebugg03 @thenattitude @babaohhhriley @lonelyweeb0044 @lovemissyhoneybee

[classysassy9791]

They named her Kagome after finding her injured and unconscious on the subway. Suffering from amnesia, she recuperates under the care of a semi-retired surgeon and a fresh young doctor. But when dark and violent flashes of her past come back to haunt her, Kagome begins to wonder if her past was worth remembering. Especially when a man she doesn’t recognize quite literally lunges into her life, accusing her of murder.    

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Drama, Mystery Pairings: InuKag, MirSan Warning: Dark themes throughout

Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l

Chapter 6 Word Count: 5800 Can be found on AO3

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Miroku flipped another chart closed and handed it back to the nurse sitting behind the desk in the center of the emergency room. The last of his patients had finally been seen after another brutal day. He had changed scrubs once due to a motor vehicle accident coming in with a bleeding artery. The entire trauma room looked like a murder scene, and that's how his morning had started. It didn’t get much better from there. One of the silver linings, however, had been his mentor, Shizu Takemi, giving him praise for his quick assessment and critical thinking skills that would one day make him a proficient trauma surgeon. 

Working alongside Kaede had taught Miroku so much in regards to handling the chaos traumas frequently came with, often leaving little room for error, needing quick and concise decisions to fight off the grim reaper. He had been lucky she had been willing to take him under his wing the day he showed up at her clinic unannounced, practically begging for her counsel. Even though his father had been a distinguished surgeon in his own right, it had been Doctor Kaede Miyamoto’s research analysis and groundbreaking methods that had left him stunned. 

When Miroku had learned of her early retirement that came without warning or cause, he had been bound and determined to track down the physician he had idolized from afar. Maybe that was a bit overkill, even stalkerish behavior, but it had always been a dream of his to be an apprentice under her expert instructions. He had done everything he could to rise to the top of his class and snag an internship position at Memorial Hospital in which she ruled. 

And then she had left - there one day and gone the next. It left Miroku feeling a little lost, as he had always wanted to be the best surgeon possible, but how could he be if the best mentor was no longer within reach? 

Kaede folded her arms over her chest and raised a brow, the lights of her clinic casting her in a golden back-glow. “You want me to train you?”

“Please,” he had begged, nearly on his knees as he tried to figure out a way to convince her. “You’re the only one who can.” 

He must’ve looked like a pathetic fool, but perhaps she had seen something in him, for she invited him in for a cup of tea and heard him out. She hadn’t promised grandeur surgeries or exhilarating late night calls. It was official: she had hung up her surgical scrubs for the quiet life of a clinician.

But, she had offered what she had left. 

She invited him to stay at her home. When he wasn’t grinding out shifts at the hospital, she would teach him everything she knew about traumas and how to fix the things that were broken. In return, he would assist her at the clinic when able. It was hardly a fair trade off, and Miroku had wanted to offer her more, but she had declined. 

“There’s nothing more you can offer me,” she had told him with a whimsical smile. “At least, not yet.” 

Begrudgingly, he had yielded to the arraignment, vowing to one day pay back Kaede’s kindness in full. He only realized too late that perhaps he had brought more trouble to her doorstep than she had bargained for - two disobedient patients who wanted nothing more than to escape the safe haven she had created, regardless of their physical and mental wellbeing. 

Miroku exhaled deeply and ran a hand through his dark locks. She couldn’t say he didn’t have drive, but damn, he really didn’t know where to draw the line sometimes. Earlier, during the whirlwind of his day, Kaede had sent him a quick text letting him know that she had returned home with Kagome and Rin, and would fill him in later. A twinge of guilt ate away at him. While he was here furthering his career, Kaede had taken it upon herself to clean up his mess. 

“Do you need anything else from me before I go, Koharu?” he asked the petite brunette sitting behind the desk. 

She smiled up at him, her eyes bright. “Nope. I think we’re all good here. Thanks!”

The doors to the emergency room slid open with a whoosh, letting the cool Spring air flow into the space. Both Miroku and Koharu turned their gazes on who entered - a woman with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and a taller man wearing an aloof expression. 

“Hello, may I help you?” Koharu greeted cheerfully, always so upbeat even this late into her shift. 

“Good evening,” the woman greeted as she sauntered up to the nurses’ desk. “I’m looking for the nurse in charge.” 

“That’s me!” Koharu confirmed, turning to give her full attention to the pair, a few strands of hair pulling free from her messy bun with the movement. 

“I’m Detective Sango Tachibana, and this is my partner, Detective Takeda Kuranosuke.” She flashed her badge, the man at her elbow following suit, before they returned them to their hips.

That caught Miroku’s attention. He certainly had experienced his fair share of police interaction since working in the emergency room - gunshot victims, car accidents, and other physical injuries often brought the authorities to their doorsteps. His gaze roamed the pair of detectives. Takeda seemed to wear the traditional detective attire - clean pressed slacks and button-up shirt - hinting at Miroku the man played by the books. But Sango wore jeans paired with black combat boots and a black faux leather jacket, hardly the attire of someone on official business. 

Koharu glanced between them. “How may I help you, Detectives?”

“There was a car accident on 34th street Friday night that’s being investigated,” Sango explained as she leaned against the counter. “We were wondering if you knew who was working that evening.”

“I’d have to check our staffing logs. Hold on.” Koharu stood and crossed the nurse’s station to rifle through the Charge Nurse binder. 

Miroku smiled and sauntered up to the two detectives, his gaze trained on the one with chestnut eyes and a nice rack. “Hello, there, Beautiful. I’m Doctor Miroku Ishida,” he greeted, holding out his hand. 

Sango raised a brow and didn’t spare a glance toward his outstretched greeting, instead keeping her focus solely on his face. “And?”

He faltered. She didn’t fluster like most women did when he was so brash. He knew he had charm and good looks that often gave him an edge when it came to the female population, but he wasn’t used to rejection. Sango had tenacity and apparently wasn’t easily impressed. Chuckling to cover up his surprise, he slipped his hands into the pockets of his scrubs. “I was working the ER Friday evening. Maybe I can help.”

“Ah, great,” the man beside Sango said - Takki? Kurano? something like that - as he reached into his overcoat and pulled out a small notepad. “Did you recall if anyone with suspicious injuries came in?”

Miroku’s shoulders fell. He wanted to continue speaking to Sango and wasn’t really interested in dealing with her partner. “No, not that I remember. Business as usual,” he replied begrudgingly.

“They would’ve had blunt force trauma, cuts, maybe a broken limb,” Sango prodded, hoping to jog his memory. “Most likely would’ve just walked off the street, and could’ve been a woman, although not conclusively.”

Miroku absently shook his head at each of Sango’s suggestions until she said that the victim could’ve been a woman. He paused. Friday night was when he had discovered Kagome on the subway. She had much of the same injuries Sango listed. With her amnesia, it had left everyone in the dark as to how she had ended up in such a state. Could it have been the car accident they were investigating? 

“Doctor Ishida?” Sango’s voice stirred him from his thoughts. 

He quickly collected himself. “Yes, sorry, I was just thinking. You said the accident happened on 34th street?”

“That’s right,” Takeda confirmed. 

That street ran through the business district and had a major subway platform used for people to commute in from the suburbs. It was also one of the station routes of the train Miroku always used to get home. It was plausible that Kagome was in that car accident, found her way to the subway, and passed out on the chairs where he later found her. 

Sango frowned. “Do you know something?”

Miroku hesitated. Since he met Kagome, her behavior had been odd. She had asked for no cops and had a gun - two uncommon behaviors for most people. If he told these detectives of what he knew, would it be doing more harm than good? Would he be putting Kagome in danger? Although he knew very little about Kagome, she had put her faith in him, and he was hard pressed to betray her confidence. 

Then again, what if she was as dangerous as Kaede had first feared? What if she was a wanted criminal? He couldn’t picture Kagome being a hardened delinquent, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t lead a life of crime prior to the accident. Besides that first interaction of waking up, she had shown no true animosity toward them. And if he did tell the detectives about her, there was a chance they would be able to help them piece together Kagome’s past. 

But would his breach of trust be worth it?

“Doctor Ishida,” Sango said again, this time her tone more firm. “If you know something, now would be the time to tell us.” 

Miroku smiled easily, swallowing his moral code. “Unfortunately, I can’t recall anything eventful or out of the ordinary from that evening. I wish I could be of more help.” 

Sango narrowed her eyes at him, but it was Takeda who spoke. “No problem. If you happen to think of anything that may help, give us a call.” He handed Miroku a business card with a phone number on it. “Even the smallest detail could prove to be useful.” 

He took the card and waved it casually. “I’ll be sure to do that.” 

“Here’s a copy of the staff members who were here that evening, along with their contact information,” Koharu said as she returned with the requested list. 

“Thank you,” Sango murmured as she took it from her and gave it a quick glance. 

“We appreciate your help,” Takeda added. “Have a good evening.” 

As the detectives turned to leave, Sango’s gaze lingered on Miroku for a moment longer than necessary, before she finally turned and followed Takeda out of the hospital’s emergency room entrance. Miroku waited until they were out of sight before glancing down at the business card he had. 

He wasn’t an immoral person, and hated lying to anyone without just cause, much less to the police, but there were simply too many unknowns right now. Even if he hadn’t known Kagome long, he had promised to care for her as long as she needed. That meant regardless of what her past carried. What kind of man would he be if he handed her over without mulling over the consequences for more than a few minutes? Besides that, he definitely needed more information. 

Part of him wanted to divulge the encounter with the detectives to Kaede immediately. She had always been level-headed and would know what to do. But the other part of him feared that Kaede’s decision would lead Kagome down a dark path, and he had already brought so much trouble to Kaede as it was. 

With a ‘have a good night’ to Koharu, Miroku began his walk back to the residents’ locker room to change. First thing was first - he needed a beer. Then, a couple of hours to research the car accident. He wasn’t much for watching the news or keeping up on current events - that had more to do with his lack of time than his lack of interest - so he had a bit of catching up to do. 

After that, he would decide what to tell Kaede, or if he would tell her at all. 

The following morning, Kagome found herself in a funk. On the one hand, she had been eager to start working toward physical recovery - mending her dislocated shoulder and injured leg. In the same thought, however, she still had no idea how to recover the memories or her mental state. Kaede had assured her that her memories would most likely come back with time. How much time? Kaede had no answer for that, and couldn’t guarantee that they would come back at all. 

It left Kagome feeling a little lost. 

“Come on,” Kaede said as she entered Kagome’s temporary bedroom, her hands on her hips, and a stern look on her face. “Sitting in bed all morning isn’t going to get you anywhere.” 

Kagome scoffed. “What else is there to do right now?”

With a hum, Kaede opened up the wheelchair that had been occupying the corner of the room, and geared it toward Kagome. “Remember what you told me yesterday?”

It had been less than twenty-four hours, and already Kaede was making sure Kagome stuck to her word. She had told Kaede she trusted her. Now she would be paying for it. With a few disgruntled complaints, Kagome allowed Kaede to help her into the wheelchair. 

Moments later, Kagome found herself sitting out back of Kaede’s home in a self-made garden of sorts. The home bordered a small forest, and was far enough away from the main road to avoid noise pollution. Kaede locked the wheelchair in place in the center of the patio next to a wicker armchair. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured before disappearing back inside. 

The morning air had a slight chill to it, causing Kagome to wrap the shawl Kaede had leant her tighter around her shoulders. She watched the leaves of the trees sway with the wind as birds fluttered between their branches. The trickling of water drew her attention to a small waterfall that spilled into a pond full of koi fish. She closed her eyes. Her heart beat slowed, the thrumming of anxiety quieting to a small tickle at the base of her neck, as she took a deep breath of damp moss and wet tree trunks

The images were clear for the first time. 

Dew glistened over the leaves, occasionally dripping to land on her skin. She glanced up from where she sat at the base of a tree, watching sunlight peek through the branches. A cool breeze whispered against her cheek, pulling dark strands of hair across her shoulders. She felt so much younger than she was now, able to recognize her middle school uniform skirt draped across her thighs. To be honest, she probably should’ve still been wearing her winter attire with the slight nip in the air. 

She smiled. Today was going to be a good day. Her eyes glanced over at the sound of approaching footsteps against cobblestone, settling on a man whose face was still muddled in darkness. He stood nearly as tall as the tree behind her, his baritone voice soothing as it reverberated through her. 

“There you are~!”

“Here you are,” Kaede’s voice pulled Kagome from her memories. 

She opened her eyes to see the doctor holding out a cup of tea for her. “Thank you,” she murmured, taking it carefully, the scent of hibiscus flowers rolling over her. 

This time, the memory she had wasn’t a flash or jarring like the others she had experienced. It felt soothing, familiar, a small bit of gaiety amongst the dread she had so far been plagued with. Yet, regardless of what the memory had shown her, she still felt her heart clench, as if it had only precluded the darkness of a storm. 

Kagome frowned and bit the inside of her cheek, simply watching the steam curl away from her tea. 

“What’s wrong?” Kaede asked as she sat down beside her in the wicker chair. 

“Why do you think somethings wrong?” she countered. 

“Well, you’re biting the inside of your cheek, which usually means somethings bothering you.” 

Kagome quickly stopped gnawing on the offended skin, a heated blush working into her cheeks. “Dammit.” 

The doctor chuckled. “Come on, talk to me.” 

A deep exhale escaped her and she took a sip of her tea - a tart, almost cranberry-like flavor - letting the warm liquid soothe her throat. “I-” She pursed her lips, trying to figure out how she was going to word her next statement. “I guess I’m having, uh, flashes?”

“Flashes?”

Kagome nodded slowly. “Yeah. I think they might be memories, but I can’t always grasp onto them. It’s almost like a bad rendition of a flash film.” 

She shrugged. “I’m no expert on amnesia. I’ve read studies, though. Most people will get their memories back sporadically or they'll wake up one morning and everything will just be there .” 

“Most people?”

“There’s a few who never get their memories back,” Kaede replied, gazing over at her with a sad smile and a despondent look in her eyes. 

Kagome huffed. “Well, at least I know my odds.” 

“Cheer up,” Kaede said, trying to bolster her spirits. “At least you get to hang out with Miroku and I until you figure things out.” 

The expression on Kagome’s face must’ve been hilarious, because Kaede barked out a laugh that nearly startled Kagome. 

“We’re not that bad,” Kaede proclaimed. 

A smile tugged at Kagome’s lips. “I guess not.” 

“Miroku has his faults, but he’s one of the best guys I know,” Kaede went on to explain. “He’s been through a lot to be where he is today, and you’d never know it. I mean, he rescued some bleeding woman with a gun from a subway train.” 

Kagome fully grinned at that. “Yeah, when you put it that way, what was he thinking? ”

“He was thinking you were someone in need, and he’s a savior to his core - in work and in life.” Kaede’s voice was softer. “He never would’ve been able to turn a blind eye.” 

That left Kagome quiet, almost ashamed at her earlier actions, considering what Miroku had put on the line to help her. Yet, she couldn’t quite fault herself for taking actions she didn’t understand. She sipped on her tea thoughtfully. “What about you, then?” she asked Kaede. 

She tilted her head. “Well, let’s just say I’m more realistic than he is. I’d love to save everyone, but that’s just not how the world works. There’s too many horrible things out there to believe that my hands can repair everyone.” 

“Your hands?”

Kaede nodded. “I’m a retired surgeon. Well, I guess ‘forced into retirement’ would be a better description of it.” 

“If you love medicine so much, what happened that made you retire?”

Kaede pointed to her eyes. “In the peak of my career I was diagnosed with Best’s Disease. A sneaky son of a bitch that’s apparently hereditary, but evidently I was the lucky one to start the genetic fault.” She turned her gaze to the gardens. “One day, I started noticing some trouble with my vision. Didn’t think too much of it for a while. Figured I was needing glasses or something. Went to a few eye doctors until one sat me down and finally gave me the diagnosis.” 

“It affects your vision?” Kagome asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah, my central vision. There’s no treatment and no cure. Only thing I can do is get checkups to determine how far along it is. My vision really isn’t too bad right now, but it’s a vision no surgeon can safely operate with. So, I was forced into early retirement.” 

“Wow.” Kagome didn’t know what else to say to that. Kaede lost her passion and livelihood with one tragic diagnosis that she had no control over. She didn’t even have an inkling that it was possible for something like that to derail her career. 

“Yeah,” Kaede answered with a sigh. “That about sums it up.” 

The pair sat there in companionable silence for a while. Kagome mulled over the information Kaede shared with her. She couldn’t imagine going through that, and yet finding a way to fall in love with a new line of work. The strength it must’ve taken had to be profound. 

“So, what then? You opened a clinic?”

Kaede laughed. “Oh, heavens no. After I was forced to retire, I nearly drank myself to death.” Kagome nearly spit out her tea, causing Kaede to laugh again. “Having your entire life turned upside down is not something easy to overcome. It takes a lot of strength and perseverance, not to mention a lot of tears and alcohol - at least for me.” 

“I guess I can somewhat relate,” Kagome murmured. 

She nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you can. At least for me, I had memories and people to fall back on. You don’t have that, and I can’t imagine how hard that is. But Kagome-” she placed a hand on Kagome’s and squeezed gently, granting her a small smile - “Miroku and I will be your people for now. We’re going to get you through this.”

Kagome slowly nodded. Not for the first time did she feel eased at Kaede’s presence and words. The kindness Miroku and Kaede had shown her went far beyond what she would’ve expected, or frankly, deserved. Where would she have been without them?

Probably dead. 

“I don’t know if I ever thanked you,” Kagome said after a moment of quiet. 

“You didn’t.” 

Kagome frowned, earning raised eyebrows from Kaede. “Fine,” she continued. “I didn’t. And I’m sorry for that.” 

The doctor chuckled. “It’s okay. You’re in a unique situation. I can’t hold memory loss against you.” 

She smiled. “I guess not.” 

As the morning sun drifted across the sky, Kagome and Kaede found a new friendship between them, and an even deeper understanding. 

“Thank you,” Takeda said to the waitress as she dropped off their morning coffee. 

Sango offered the waitress a smile before turning her attention to the cream and sugar on the table, adding more than what was probably reasonable into her coffee. Takeda’s nose crinkled with disgust as he sipped on his - bitter and dark. “Don’t give me that look,” she chastised as she gave hers a stir. 

“I have no idea how you could drink something so sweet.” 

“I don’t know how you could drink something so bitter,” she barbed playfully in return. 

They had decided to mix up their morning routine and grab breakfast at a quaint bistro around the corner from her apartment. It allowed Sango to enjoy something better than cop shop coffee and to indulge in an actual breakfast, considering she more often than not started her day with a quick pastry from her usual cafe. 

The weather, although still cool, had warmed to a comfortable degree that morning in which they decided to sit on the bistro’s patio that overlooked the busy downtown street. People bustled by on the sidewalk as they hurried to work, the sound of cars driving by occupying the air. Sango leaned her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand as she gazed at passersby. 

“When did he say he was coming?” Takeda asked as he perused the menu the waitress had left. 

Sango shrugged, eyes drifting to the watch around her wrist. “He said he was on his way, but knowing Koma, that could mean two minutes or two hours. He probably got distracted by something.” 

Takeda smiled. “He’s one of the smartest men in the room, but heaven forbid his attention gets stolen by something trivial.” 

“Honestly, Souten probably held him up by reminding him to wear his jacket,” she mused. “Even I wouldn’t entice her wrath.”

He chuckled. “She’s a spitfire, that’s for sure.” 

“They’re good for each other, though,” she replied, tugging her scarf more snug around her neck to ward off the chill. “Speaking of, how are you and Shima? Did you enjoy your vacation?”

Takeda nodded, his lips tugging into a smile that made her heart do a little flip. “We did. Got to enjoy some relaxation, but also went on a few adventures.” 

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Snorkeling, jet skiing, and a bit of parasailing. You know, the normal touristy things people do on a beach holiday.” He waved his hand in the air as if to minimize the excitement of it all. 

Sango hummed dreamily. “That all sounds fantastic. I wish I could be on a beach somewhere right now.” She honestly couldn’t recall the last time she enjoyed a vacation, too married to her work to leave time for much else. When she wasn’t working, she spent her time worrying over Kohaku and his whereabouts. 

“You should take a trip,” he said, motioning with his coffee toward her. “You work too hard.” 

She frowned, not really wanting to delve into her work-life balance. Her father had always been dedicated to his detective work, and he left big shoes to fill. Even though he was gone, she still experienced an unseen pressure to make him proud. She would be lucky enough to be even half the detective he was. 

“Not sure if I would know what to do with myself,” she replied wryly, meeting his brown eyes that danced with mirth. 

“Yeah, relaxation isn’t exactly in your vocabulary, is it?”

Sango wrinkled her nose. Takeda, although considerate most of the time, also knew how to hit her at her weak points. A playful jest, but she couldn’t stop the souring of her mood. “Har har,” she barbed back, taking a large gulp of her coffee and wishing it was laced with some alcohol. It was too early to be diving into her insecurities when it came to her personal life. 

With both of her parents gone, it was just her and her younger brother, and Kohaku was never around, so really, she spent most of her time alone. She didn’t have any friends outside of the police force - which she chalked up to her drive and ambition - and even when she was invited out on rare occasions, she tended to find a reason to turn the invites down. Sango knew there were some underlying issues she didn’t want to admit to, but that would probably require years of therapy to uncover, which made that particular task daunting and off-putting. 

So, instead she did what she always did when finding herself too close to a sensitive topic: she changed the subject. “Anyways, I think we covered the major hospitals in the area surrounding the accident scene.” 

Takeda didn’t bother commenting on her sudden change of conversation, only offering a knowing smile. “Yeah, I think you’re right,” he agreed with a nod. “Considering those didn’t turn up any new leads, I think it would be good to start making rounds on the small community hospitals.” 

Sango clucked her tongue. “Maybe the clinics, too.” 

He raised his brows. “You think someone would go to a clinic with those kinds of injuries?”

She shrugged. “If they were desperate enough. Or if they sought any medical attention at all. We’re just guessing that whoever walked away from that accident went somewhere to get treated. They could’ve patched themselves up in some backdoor warehouse or something.” 

“You’re right,” Takeda said before he took a long sip of his coffee thoughtfully. 

“Hell, I’d be willing to even interview a school nurse at this point,” she grumbled, turning her eyes back to the busy street. Having no solid leads was beginning to wear on her last nerve. Hopefully when Shippou arrived, he would bring some good news.

Her partner leaned forward with a teasing grin. “Sure you don’t want to go back and interview that doctor from yesterday?”

Sango pinched her brows together and shot him a sideways glance. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He looked awfully interested in talking with you,” he said with a shrug. “Just figured you may want to pursue it.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Any man who greets you with a ‘hello, beautiful’ should be castrated.” 

Takeda winced. “Ouch. A bit much, don’t you think?”

“I don’t have time to waste on arrogance.” To be fair, she didn’t have time for any men, but she had kept her nonexistent dating life undisclosed. The last thing she needed was Takeda trying to hook her up with one of his old cop buddies. She knew that would be something he would do; it was just in his nature to help out another person, even if it was unwarranted. “Though, I do believe he knew more than he was saying.”

“What makes you say that?”

Sango shrugged. “Call it intuition, I guess.” 

Her partner smiled at her comment just as the waitress returned. They quickly rattled off their food orders and desire for more coffee before she breezed away again. 

“Hey there, Tachibana!”

Sango looked up from her phone - about to shoot a text to Shippou - but found herself looking at the red-haired investigator instead. She smiled brightly as he waltzed out onto the back patio and pulled up a chair at their table. “Well, it’s about time,” she greeted lightheartedly. “We just ordered food. You want in?”

Shippou sat down with a shake of his head. “Nah, Souten made breakfast this morning, which is why I was running late. She keeps after me to make sure I’m eating well.” 

“Like a good wife should,” Takeda said with a sagely nod. 

Sango swiftly kicked him under the table, getting a good-natured chuckle out of him. “Misogynist,” she grumbled, and then turned her attention back to Shippou. “Souten just knows how much you like your sweets.” 

The crime scene investigator chortled, but didn’t deny her comment as he pulled a file folder out of his bag. “I’d love a coffee, though.” Takeda waved their waitress over and Shippou ordered a coffee-to-go. 

“So, why’d you want to meet this morning?” Sango asked as she eyed the folder Shippou held. 

“This hasn’t hit the air waves yet, so I thought I’d give it to you in person.” He handed over the case files. 

“Giving us a gift before eight a.m.? I think that’s a new record for you, Koma,” Takeda said, taking a sip of his coffee. 

Sango opened the folder and quickly thumbed through the first few pages. “Dental records?!” she nearly shouted, forcing herself to stay seated in her excitement. “They were able to identify the three bodies in the car. And Koma even included their arrest records.” She flashed Shippou a wide smile. 

“Best in the business, I swear,” Takeda murmured as he stood to round the table and look over Sango’s shoulder. “So, who’ve we got?”

“The driver was Manten Sanda, convicted of armed robbery in the past. Looks like he was also arrested for attempted murder, but it never went to trial due to insufficient evidence.” She handed the profile to her partner before going onto the next one. “The woman in the passenger seat was Yura Yamaguchi.” 

“Any relation to Kristi Yamaguchi?” Takeda asked. 

“No,” Shippou replied sullenly. “I already looked into it. But man, that would’ve been a story!”

Sango chuckled. “Looks like she was arrested for some prostitution and a few drug busts. Nothing too crazy. Oh, and she had a restraining order against her at one point. Apparently went after a guy because she liked his hair.” 

Takeda scrunched up his nose. “Oh, nothing too crazy, huh?”

“Okay, maybe she had a few screws loose.” Sango rolled her eyes. “But not a big fish in this city. The third body was Hinten Sanda, Manten’s older brother. He’d been arrested alongside his brother for armed robbery, as well as solicitation of sexual favors, and rape - but apparently was never tried because the victim backed out of prosecution. He was also a suspect in a murder investigation, but again, there wasn’t enough evidence to bring him to trial.” 

“Damn scumbag.” Takeda took another drink of coffee and shook his head. “Can’t say I’m upset he’s dead.” 

Sango didn’t voice it aloud, but she agreed with him. She studied their mugshots. The ‘Thunder Brothers’, as they had self-proclaimed themselves as, didn’t look alike, obviously being gifted with opposite ends of the gene pool. While Hinten was tall and muscular, Manten was short and stocky, with a large nose and lips that reminded Sango oddly of a platypus. Not that it mattered, considering they were both deceased, but she bet they had caused more trouble than their arrest records foretold. “Well, not exactly sure what we have yet, but their identities are sure to turn up some new leads. Thanks, Koma!”

Shippou saluted her just as the waitress returned and handed him his coffee to-go. “My pleasure,” he said, pouring even more cream and sugar into his coffee than Sango did. “I’m going to head back to the lab and continue processing the evidence from the train car. I was able to pull some strings to get you those I.D.'s. Figured it would get you started, but the rest is going to take some time. I’ll call you when something else comes up.” 

Sango and Takeda said goodbye to him and then turned their attention back to the file folder he gifted them. “Well, she began as she placed all of the documents back into the manila folder and tucked it inside her bag for safe-keeping. “I guess we’ll start with last known addresses and known contacts. Figure out what connects them all.” 

Takeda rounded the table and took his seat again. “Let’s call Fujimori to start a paper trail while we hit up the community hospitals. We’ll be able to cover more ground that way.”

Sango sighed. She wanted to dig into the newly identified criminals, not hit the streets like a beat cop. But Takeda had a point. Fujimori was most likely already at the office and could start investigating the newly acquired identities immediately. Meanwhile, Sango and Takeda were already out and not far from one of the community hospitals that came to her mind. 

“Fine,” she grumbled, relenting to his good judgment. Police work wasn’t about who did what part of the investigation - it only mattered what evidentiary items were collected to bring down a perp. Sometimes her desire for the chase muddled that teaching. 

“Let’s get a list together of the medical centers and clinics we want to hit. If all goes well, hopefully we’ll be done by noon and be able to get in on Fujimori’s search.” 

As Takeda probably knew, the challenge lit a fire under her, causing her eyes to sparkle with eagerness over her new prey. He always knew how to get her going. 

[escudofracturado]

TIMING: Early July (after Van's party, before Mack's party) LOCATION: The Pines PARTIES: Cass (@magmahearts) + Milo (@escudofracturado) SUMMARY: Cass notices Milo on his way back to the motel, and, remembering that he was the one who confronted Van, she decides to follow him to find out what he knows. They are rudely interrupted. CONTENT WARNINGS: Vague mentions of sibling death & suicidal ideation.

Milo was starting to think this town was cursed. In retrospect, it made sense that if there was magic and demons in the world, there were probably other magical beings. However, what he’d experienced in the mines was… It was beyond anything he could’ve ever imagined. A creature that exploded like a water balloon filled with blood, a woman with glowing red eyes who crept in the shadows, and a fucking walking geode that literally stole his face??? It was the stuff of nightmares. He hadn’t been getting as many nightmares since he started taking the sleeping pills, but there had been a few that had slipped through the cracks. 

He’d had a short shift that day, and he was planning on enjoying the nice weather– as much as he possibly could while the town reeked of rotten eggs– by walking back to the Bearcliff. Maybe he could stop and sit at the Common for a while, too, he did have his knitting with him.

—

The stuff in the cave was… weird. Even to someone like Cass, who had known weird all her life, it had been strange. She still had no idea what the face-stealing monster was or where it had come from, and the other people who’d been in the cave with her had seemed just as lost. It had been a miracle, really, that they’d made it out at all… and it had been her fault that they were in the situation to begin with. If she hadn’t let her emotions get the best of her, if she hadn’t freaked out and panic attacked her way into a landslide… Owen had been right to be angry. She knew that.

She wandered through the woods now, trying to clear her mind of it. Between that incident and the nightmare she’d had, the cave was starting to feel less safe than it once had, and she hated that. She hated that she was walking around in the woods instead of sitting in her cave where she was supposed to be. She wished she knew how to be different. 

Spotting a figure up ahead, she almost retreated back into the woods… but there was something familiar about him. It took her a moment to realize she knew him from several locations. Things had been so wild in the cave that she hadn’t recognized him through the haze of panic, and she hadn’t quite known to look for it yet at the party but looking at him now, it was undeniable. This was the boy from the photo Van had sent them. The boy who knew. And it was Milo. Hesitantly, Cass allowed herself to trail along behind him. She needed to find out if he really had been bound with the rest of them, and if he hadn’t, she needed to bind him to a different promise. She had to protect her friends; she’d promised she would. 

—

He got a bit of knitting in before he continued on, walking up the road into The Pines. Trees lined either side of the path, dense forest to one side and the river to the other. It was still a little surreal even now, living in this town that was so surrounded by nature. 

Milo had been born and raised in New York, and while there was a lot of greenery to be found in the state, there wasn’t a ton of it in the boroughs. He had been a city boy through and through for his entire life, and Wicked’s Rest felt so incredibly different from everything he had known– even ignoring all the absolutely insane shit that seemed to be going on in the town. And, still ignoring said insane shit, he didn’t hate it. It was impossible to ignore it, though. There seemed to be a lot going on here, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to stick around and find out exactly what it was. He just needed to fix his magic first. 

After walking for a while, he began to hear the sound of snapping of branches and rustling of leaves from the woods. He stopped, looking for the source of the noise, but it seemed to stop as soon as he did. Frowning, Milo continued walking, only for the sound to start up again, and again it halted when he did. The boy felt nervous, then, thoughts flashing to the monsters from the mines. He picked up his pace, but whatever seemed to be following him just sped up. Heart racing, he stopped, and this time he saw it. 

Muscles locking up in fear, Milo could only watch as the thing stalked out of the woods, finally revealing itself. 

—

She watched him, for a little while. The way he moved was uncertain, like he thought he should be doing something but wasn’t sure what it was. And she could relate to that; she found herself feeling a strange sense of kinship with him, and she tried to push it down. They’d teamed up for a minute in that cave, sure, and the party had been fun enough, but that was nothing compared to what she had with Thea, Van, Nora, and Ren. If he was a threat to the rest of her friends, she needed to find a solution that left everyone okay. Including him.

Something moving in the woods caught her attention, and she turned towards the sound just a moment before it stepped out of the trees. It was big. That was the first thing she noticed. The size of beasts she’d only ever seen in the zoo or on television, like a jungle cat. It moved more like a dog, though, as it stalked towards Milo.

Cass had never been good at standing by and doing nothing. When the creature moved towards Milo, Cass moved towards the creature. Her heart was pounding as she got closer, icy fear sending a shiver down her spine. But she couldn’t leave him to go up against a monster alone, could she?

“Hey!” She yelled, getting the attention of both the monstrous dog and Milo. “Get out of here!”

—

Milo wasn’t quite sure what exactly he was looking at, but it was wrong. It was like some fucked up chimera of nightmarish creatures– an attempt at alchemy on a living creature gone horribly, terribly wrong. Generally speaking, it looked to be a sort of hairless dog the size of a jungle cat, however, it appeared to have had its face ripped off, a skull visible underneath the remnants of bloody tissue. There was also a massive gash across its back, exposing more bone and blood and muscle and meat. Also, there were tentacles because, of course. What’s a nightmarish, eldritch monster without some tentacles? It was kinda giving Resident Evil dogs, and he despised it with every fiber of his being. 

Everything about it was triggering some primal, instinctive parts of his brain, filling him with dread and discomfort and disgust and the urgent need to run. Looking at it made Milo feel physically ill, his stomach turning itself into knots. Still, he couldn’t get himself to move, his body, specifically his legs, just not wanting to cooperate with him. The dog was inching closer, and he was just frozen in place. …or he was until he heard a somewhat familiar voice yelling. 

His head swung around at the sound, and he watched as the familiar figure came closer. “Cass?” He wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or the creature– not that it mattered when he couldn’t get himself to move. Her appearance seemed to agitate the creature, who Milo was watching out of the corner of his eye. He was much too terrified to entirely turn away from it.  It growled, sending a massive shiver down his spine, heart faltering at the horrifying sound of it before starting again at an even quicker pace. Jesus fucking Christ, this was so bad. Fuck this town. 

“N–ni-nice doggy?” he stuttered hesitantly.  

—

It was terrifying. Cass was usually good at finding the beauty in things, but this was terrifying. And… familiar. She’d only met Babadook a handful of times, but she recognized that this creature was the same kind of ‘animal’ as Nora’s pet. But whereas Babadook was an extension of her best friend, safe and friendly, this creature was wild. Feral, unknown. Maybe hungry? Cass had never really asked Nora if Babadook ate people or not, mostly because she was a little afraid of the answer.

She didn’t want to find out like this. Whatever Milo knew, whatever he’d seen, he didn’t deserve to be hurt by this thing. Cass was confident of that. So she burst forward, she yelled and caught the creature’s attention for her own in spite of the sick feeling it sent shivering down her spine. It’s okay, she told herself, you and Milo have faced off against worse. Except that had ended with Milo losing his face, and it had taken a bunch of them to stop it. Now, it was just Cass and Milo. No Leila, no Owen.

The Babadook-like creature let out a yowl, sending another shiver of terror down the oread’s spine. She stumbled over to stand next to Milo, grabbing onto his wrist just to remind them both that they weren’t alone. “Hi,” she whispered quietly. Her heart was pounding, her mouth dry. She turned to the creature, mouth set in a thin line. “We’re not scared of you,” she said, with more confidence than she felt. 

—

Cass was much braver than him, charging into the nightmare he’d found himself in without much hesitation. Her yelling took the creature’s attention off of him for a moment, so he took the opportunity to inch himself a little farther away from the thing. But it let out another roar as the girl made her way closer, forcing Milo to freeze. Heart fluttering wildly in his chest, he could only watch, a little dumbfounded, as Cass sidled up next to him.  

When something wrapped around his wrist, he tensed, his panicked mind buffering for a moment before he realized it was just her. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of gratitude and fondness toward the girl at the gesture. She had done the same back in the cave, holding onto him when the rock monster had stolen his face and left him blind and defenseless. Both then and now, it seemed to help calm him a little. They had managed to make it out of the caves, hadn’t they?

“He-ey,” he replied shakily. He could almost laugh as she tried to calmly address the creature. No, Milo was definitely scared of the thing– terrified, even. But there was something to that, if he remembered correctly, not showing fear to wild animals. Granted, he was almost positive this monster was not what people had in mind when saying that. He wasn’t sure it would even count as an animal, like, scientifically speaking. Not that he would know. 

Regardless, he tried to follow her lead, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. At the very least, it seemed to help reduce the shaking and slow his heart rate a little, though it spiked back upward as he forced himself to look at the thing. Not scared, he was not scared. Maybe if he repeated it enough, it would become true. Milo swallowed, trying to steady himself. “Right,” he said, voice sounding more normal, “we’re not scared.” There was still a bit of a tremble, but it was certainly better than before. 

—

She was afraid. Her heart was pounding and her breath was coming and going in quick little gasps. She was terrified, but she stood tall anyway. She gripped Milo’s wrist in her hand, careful not to grip it so tightly that it would bruise. It was easier like this, she thought. This was why people became superheroes, why Spider-Man put on a mask and why Batman wore a cape. The world was big and scary and awful sometimes, but it was easier to face it when you had something to protect. And while Cass may not have had a family to look after, she had friends. People like Milo, who she thought might need her even if he didn’t say as much.

He spoke, and she offered him a small smile. He was afraid, too. She could tell. He was shaking, his voice was trembling, he was frozen in place. But wasn’t there something beautiful about being afraid with someone else? Didn’t it make the things you were afraid of feel smaller, feel less overwhelming? Cass was afraid, and so was Milo. But they had one another’s backs, anyway, could keep each other safe. That was worth something.

She could feel him trying to be brave beside her, as if the mask of fearlessness he pulled over his face was a physical thing instead of a metaphor. His attempts made her feel braver, and she hoped hers would do the same for him. They could make each other strong, she thought. They could help each other be brave. “You’re not even that scary,” she said firmly, glaring at the creature. “You’re just a big, stinky dog.”

The creature shifted. It seemed to look between the two of them, sniffing the air. Cass’s heart still pounded, and she could feel the vibrations of Milo’s doing the same through her grip on his wrist. The creature snarled, and Cass narrowed her eyes. Stepping forward, she growled back at it, in spite of the fear. 

—

Cass put on a convincing brave face, but now that Milo was really forcing himself to focus, to stay calm, he was able to notice the quick breaths, her tight grip, the tension in her stance. She was scared, too, and while he didn’t want her to be afraid, it was a little reassuring, a little comforting. Not only was he not alone in the most literal sense, but he also wasn’t alone in his fear. And it just made him feel that much more grateful.

In the caves, they had both been in the wrong place at the wrong time, thrown together by fate or luck or chance to face a wacky inflatable blood-filled tube man and a face-stealing rock guy. This time, though, Cass had chosen to step in and try to help him, despite the danger and her own fears. She didn't have to do that– she shouldn't have done it, honestly, he wasn’t worth it. But she had. And while he didn't give a shit what happened to him, if this thing hurt her, all because she had wanted to help? There was no guarantee that he would be able to protect her like he had managed in the caves. If anything happened to her, wouldn’t, couldn’t, forgive himself. That thought helped steady him some more– if Milo couldn't be brave for himself, he would get it together for her. 

It was just a big, stinky dog. Sure, it looked nightmarish, but the thing hadn't done anything other than growl like a mean dog. Yet. However, it didn't seem to like the girl's opinion as it bared its teeth, letting out another bone-chilling growl that made his hair stand on end. But instead of letting it frighten her, Cass just snarled right back at it. 

There was a weird Cthulhu ass zombie dog that looked ready to jump at them, and this short, adorable girl who looked so far from intimidating, but also had the power to cause a cave-in, was growling back at it. It was crazy. Hell, maybe she was a bit crazy, but in a way that made that fondness grow. And, Milo couldn’t help but laugh, a surprised, 'what the absolute fuck' sort of laugh born of his nerves, but a laugh nonetheless.  

The monster paused before cocking its head to the side. He was sure, if it had a face that was capable of emoting instead of just exposed bone, that it would have looked confused. Which didn't exactly help with the wildness of it all. What even was his life right now? It helped to chase away some of the fear, a bit of tension leaving his body. He didn't feel quite so frozen in place anymore. 

“Sorry,” Milo offered, a grin lingering on his face, “wasn't expecting that.”

—

Milo laughed as she growled back at the monster, and the ridiculousness of it all had laughter building up in her chest, too. It escaped from between her lips, bubbling up and spilling over. Her laughter joined in with his in a loud chorus that seemed out of place for the situation and, all at once, Cass felt her fear melting away.

Bravery was a slippery thing to hold. She’d gripped it tight and lost it more times than she could count, had felt it slip through her fingers over and over again through the years. But it was easier, she found, to be brave for someone else. Being brave for yourself, like doing anything for yourself, was a challenge. But for someone else’s benefit? Facing her fears so that Milo didn’t have to face his alone? It was easier. It was better. 

Maybe that was what appealed to Cass about vigilantism. She couldn’t solve her own problems, didn’t even know where to start with them, but she could try to help other people with theirs. She could make sure Milo didn’t have to face a big, scary dog thing on his own, just like she’d helped him get his face back in that cave. And, in return, Milo could laugh and make the tension bleed away from her shoulders the same way he’d wrapped her in a protective bubble of magic during the cave-in. Maybe you didn’t have to save yourself; maybe you could just save someone else and let them save you back. Maybe that was the best way to survive.

“It’s okay,” she replied, still breathless with laughter. “It’s fine. He’s not — he doesn’t seem mad about it.” The dog thing didn’t look angry. Almost… disappointed, if such an expression could exist on a face like this one.

—

Cass had a nice laugh– the kind that felt infectious, her giggles only serving to pull him back into another fit, make him laugh harder. It was a vicious cycle that left the both of them breathless. Mere moments earlier the tension and fear surrounding them had felt suffocating, but now he felt like he could actually catch his breath. It was ridiculous how his penchant for nervous laughter could entirely change the energy of the situation, but it had. 

And at that moment, Milo was reminded of his older sister, the many times she had managed to pull him out of his head, out of the sea of darkness and self loathing with a simple, stupid joke and her cackling laughter that had never failed to make him smile. Thinking of Genevieve usually brought up immense sadness and guilt, but for that moment he just felt that bittersweet sensation of missing his sister. 

Cass was right, though, the creature didn't seem to be pissed off, which, thank fuck for that. After they had quieted down, it tried growling at them again, and while it still sent a shiver down his spine and made his heart rate pick up, it didn't seem as genuine as its previous attempts. Whatever spell the thing had cast over them before, they seemed to have broken it with their laughter. And it seemed to realize as much because, after a final feeble attempt, the thing let out a grumbled whine and turned tail, taking back off into the trees. 

Confusion filled him as he watched its retreat, but Milo still breathed out a massive sigh of relief as it disappeared. "What the fuck even was that?" he couldn't help but wonder aloud. He turned to the girl, a grateful smile on his face. "Thanks, Cass. You didn't have to step in." She had put herself in danger for him, which was something he definitely didn't deserve. "But I appreciate that you did." Even if it was a little crazy of her. "Are you okay?"

—

The laughter died down, but the spell was already broken. There was still some fear lurking — the creature was still pretty scary, in spite of everything — but it wasn’t as big a deal as it had been before. It wasn’t all-consuming, wasn’t suffocating. Most fears, when you had a friend by your side, could be pretty easily cast aside. 

And they were, weren’t they? They were friends. This had to prove it. The monster shook its head, seemed discouraged as it finally made its retreat, and Milo turned to Cass with a grin, and she felt lighter than she had before. 

He thanked her, and of course part of her wanted to keep it. Of course, she did. But maybe she didn’t need to. Maybe they could just be friends without it. So she shrugged, said, “You don’t have to thank me,” and let it go. And part of her ached with it, regretted it the moment it was done, but part of her still felt that eager lightness. “I’m okay. How about you? All good?”

—

Milo shrugged back at her. “Still.” Not everyone would voluntarily throw themselves into a dangerous situation to try to help someone else. It said a lot about the kind of person Cass was that she had done so, seemingly without much hesitation. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he nodded. His heart was still getting back down to a normal pace, the shaking slowly subsiding, but he did feel fine, overall. “I mean, I’m pretty confused about what the hell just happened.” She could probably figure that one out based on the slightly dazed and bewildered look he could feel was on his face. “But I’m all good. Lucky you were in the area.”

After a moment of catching their breaths, Milo looked at her curiously, realizing that despite the fact that they had now survived two horrifying ordeals together, he didn’t know much about the girl. “What were you doing out here, by the way? Do you live around here?”

—

Cass shrugged, offering no explanation because she had none. She knew about some supernatural things, but not that. Not as much as she should have, maybe. Not as much as she would have if she’d grown up in an aos si instead of on her own, not as much as other fae did. It was hard not to feel just a little bitter about that, but she choked the feeling down. Better to focus on what she did know.

Like, for example, the answer to Milo’s question. She knew what she’d been doing out here, why she’d been following him. And she hesitated, shifting her weight a little as she considered her options. She had to keep her friends safe, but Milo was her friend, too. He knew things he shouldn’t know, but he was nice. What was there to do about it?

“Kind of,” she replied with a shrug. “Actually, um… Don’t freak out, but I was kind of following you? Van said that you… saw something. With me and her and Thea and Ren and Nora. And I wanted to make sure you weren’t, um… Planning on telling people?”

—

At her words, Milo paused, first in confusion, then in realization as he thought back to that night in Gaitlin Fields. It had been a dark and chaotic night, and his hiding spot hadn’t exactly allowed for him to watch the scene unfold. He’d only gotten a quick look at them as they drove up to the pit and began to pull Debbie’s body out of the trunk. Mostly, he remembered Van’s face– she’d been the first to exit the car– but he also remembered headlights shining on a red head and a heavily pierced goth. Later, at the party, he had connected the dots after seeing Ren and Nora.

However, now that he was really thinking about it, hadn’t he heard Cass’ voice that night? Apparently, the answer was a definitive yes. He hadn’t recognized it in the caves, and he wouldn’t have realized on his own, but Cass had been there. Cass was part of the group that had killed Debbie and dumped her body. 

His reaction was slightly delayed, and when he finally spoke, all he could say was, “Oh.” And, “I don’t think I know a Thea?”

The air once again felt tense and uncertain, though his fear didn’t resurface. It probably should’ve seeing as she just revealed that she had been involved in a murder and its cover-up, and that she had been stalking him, but all Milo felt was a dull sort of disappointment that he pointedly ignored. He still felt gratitude and fondness toward the girl– she had helped him out twice now, and was generally easy to get along with– but he didn’t really know how to feel. 

He had heard them, their ‘eulogies,’ had spoken to Van and seen the way she reacted after he mentioned that night, and he had seen them at the party. None of the girls seemed like coldblooded killers, not even Nora, even if she had been kinda off-putting. Besides, he wasn’t exactly innocent himself either. 

“I don– I ca–” Part of him wanted to launch into the conversation he’d been trying to have with Van, to find out what exactly Cass knew. She did have some kind of earth magic, but that didn’t relate to whatever kind of mental magic had been cast on him …right? There was another part of him, though, that could feel the adrenaline wearing off, that could feel exhaustion beginning to seep into his core once again. 

“No,” Milo replied, simply. 

—

It occurred to her, briefly, that she might have just outed herself here, might have told Milo something he hadn’t already known. Van had said he’d witnessed something, but she’d been a little unclear on the details and she’d seemed so stressed and afraid that Cass hadn’t wanted to push. There was every possibility that Milo knew nothing at all, that he’d seen something simple and impossible to decipher and Van had overreacted in her panic, the guilt of Debbie’s death driving her to catastrophize about something that was ultimately harmless.

But there was a chance that this wasn’t the case, too. There was a chance that Milo had seen exactly what Cass feared he had. And as long as that chance existed, something had to be done about it. If she had to, Cass could find a way out of a hairy situation. She could leave town, she could bind a few people, she could scam her way out of trouble. But she might not be able to do the same for her friends. For Nora, who’d been the one holding the knife, for Ren, who didn’t seem to understand human or fae customs, for Thea, who’d known Debbie personally, for Van, who was prone to bouts of panic. Whatever happened to Cass could happen, but she wouldn’t risk her friends. 

“That’s not what’s important,” she said quietly as Milo questioned who Thea even was. Thea’s tendency to miss their get togethers due to work was working in her favor here, it seemed, but Cass would make sure she was protected, anyway. 

She watched Milo, eyes narrowed even if she didn’t want them to be. Milo was her friend, too. She liked him, liked being around him. But right now, Milo wasn’t the one who needed protection. Right now, Milo might very well be the one her friends needed protection from. So she eyed him with scrutiny, trying to pretend as if her heart wasn’t pounding in her chest.

When he spoke at last, her shoulders slumped in relief. But she still had to be sure. “Do you promise? Do you promise not to tell anyone what you saw that night, ever?”

—

He knew it wasn't the important part of what she had said, of course. The unfamiliar name was just a dumb detail that his dumb mind had grasped onto in his surprise. Thea, Nora, Ren, Van, and Cass. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, though he wasn't sure if it was in suspicion or intimidation. Not that it really mattered, Milo supposed, when he barely felt anything about it aside from being oh so incredibly tired. Idly, he wondered how she would react if he did ask her, if he told her he had tried to tell someone. It was even more abundantly clear now that he didn't know much about her. 

Do you promise? 

The words sent a jolt through him. She had said something about a promise that night, too, he remembered. It had struck him as an oddly childish thing to say given the severity of the situation. Granted, the girls did all seem a bit younger than him, and he was unfortunately all too well aware of how illogical someone could react during a crisis– during that specific kind of crisis, no less. 

But here she was saying the same thing, and it seemed just as strange. Milo knew that her and her friends had killed someone, knew exactly where they had dumped the girl's body. Having him promise he wouldn't say anything seemed kind of ridiculous. None of it made any goddamn sense, but there were a lot of things in this town that didn't. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. He wanted to teleport straight onto the crappy motel bed and not move for a while. 

—-

Relief flooded through her as he spoke. One word, a single syllable, but it was all she needed to hear. A safety net for her, a trapdoor for him. Cass felt a little bad as she bound him to his word, the guilt sending an icy shiver down her spine, but even that ice wasn’t quite enough to freeze out the warmth the relief had brought with it. Milo promised. Milo promised, and her friends were safe.

And she knew it was terrible. She knew that. What they’d done in that grocery store, what they’d done at that ditch full of corpses after the fact, it wasn’t the kind of thing heroes did. There would never be a comic book of Batman dumping a body into a pit, never be a blockbuster where Spider-Man fatally stabbed a teenage girl in a grocery store at night, never be a feature of Superman making a friend promise never to tell anyone about a murder. Cass knew that. So maybe she wasn’t a very good hero anymore. Maybe she never had been.

But at least she wasn’t alone.

She swallowed, nodding her head. “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what she was apologizing for anymore. The murder, or the bind? The guilt, or the relief? Maybe it didn’t matter half as much as she wanted it to. “I — I should probably go. Please stay safe, Milo. Please.”

—

He saw the tension bleed out of her the moment he agreed, and he wondered if there was some kind of magic involved in all of this. It’s not like it mattered when he literally wasn’t able to tell anyone anyway, but still. Cass might’ve been young– younger than him, at any rate– and kind, but she didn’t seem naive. They didn’t know each other, she shouldn’t be so relieved by a simple promise on his part. She couldn’t be that trusting of someone who was pretty much a stranger, even if they had helped each other out of some dangerous situations… right?

Milo didn’t know anymore. His energy was waning, and he could not spend another moment pondering over the strange situation he continued to be involved in– a murder in which he felt somewhat complicit. Because wasn’t he? 

He knew about Debbie, and he now knew definitively who had been involved with her murder and its cover up. Even if he was magically silenced, there had to be some way out of it, some way around it. And yet… He sympathized with Cass, with Van, with the lot of them, he believed they hadn’t wanted to hurt her because he had heard them. He had now seen both Van and Cass talking around the topic, and what he saw hit too close to home. Because he hadn’t wanted to hurt Genevieve, but he had. 

Cass’ voice was quiet, heavy with emotions that he couldn’t quite parse, but felt familiar all the same. Milo shrugged off her apology; she had saved him today. She should have left him to the dog, but she hadn’t, and, for better or worse, he lived to see another day. They both did. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, you too, Cass.” And he meant it. 

He stood there for a bit, gathering up the energy to move, watching her retreat. There was no sign of the creature anywhere, and after a few moments, she moved out of his sight line. With a deep sigh, Milo turned and continued his back toward the motel. 

[blazregaliadream]

Rambling About FEH’s Potential Direction After Book VI Before IS Makes A Fool Out of Me When Book VII Drops

... I wonder how many books remain until we're finally up against the All Father. On one hand, I believe we've been through every realm of Zenith at least once except for two: Asgard and Vanaheim, the latter which as far as I’m aware has not been mentioned or hinted at at all, and I feel like we’re finally approaching the final stretch of this long journey. But on the other hand, for all we know, there could be more ground to retread on just as we've done in Book VI where we got to dig deeper into Embla’s inner struggles between the political tug-o-war for the throne and the bat-dragon god finally arising to spearhead her quest for the torture and genocide of Askr because she spent centuries coping, seething, and malding over the people choosing the cow-dragon god over her so who knows? Maybe there’s still a few more tales in the other realms that they want to cover (the TT+ ones aside) before they finally have us square up with the All Father. I'm also curious about what the Lost Gang (Líf, Thrasir, Triandra, and Plumeria) are up to. Líf made it clear to Thórr and Loki back in Book III's Xenologue that despite accepting the offer they had made, he and Thrasir do not intend to serve the All Father forever. Líf and Thrasir had lost nearly everything dear to them and are willing to do whatever it takes if there is a way to restore the Askr and Embla of their worlds. Meanwhile, despite that we have yet to see the two in any capacity after Book IV’s Ending, Triandra and Plumeria seem to be along for the ride, motivated in wanting to bring back Freyja after she had given her life to bring back all of the fallen Alfr, including them. I believe all four are joining up with the All Father solely for their own gains, despite the identities of their contractors. In fact, I would dare say that they’re wary of the gods of Asgard. I won’t say that the All Father is evil, but for as capable as his daughters claim him to be, he may also not be above deception for reasons most likely being to ensure that what he had written in the Twilit Runes is following as planned. It’s also possible that he’s not invincible too. As stressed by the playable version of Thórr, we, the summoner, are not a part of the All Father’s design and thus should not even be existing at all in Zenith. Everything in Zenith must’ve been going exactly as the All Father had planned until we were summoned by what may had been a chance willed by fate itself and have been an unknown variable that NONE of the gods can begin to find a start in figuring out. Despite the All Father’s best efforts in making sure events are still going as they should, we’ve been, essentially, a monkey wrench in his plans, diverting certain details and creating errors that may or may not be fixed without some form of divine intervention. I believe there are at least two reasons the All Father has continued to keep himself obscured this entire time since we arrived: The first and most likely obvious reason being to continue keeping his plans in order so that Ragnarok will arrive, which is most likely written in the Twilit Runes. Even though he employed his daughters with the task of witnessing everything and ensuring the prophecies of the Twilit Runes go as followed, he may also be playing a subtle hand himself as the second reason falls back to us being an unknown factor that’s been slowly altering seemingly smaller details that could possibly have a disastrous effect for the All Father’s plans. We may be, quite literally, a legit threat to him. Whatever they may be, he must have his reasons to not only stay up in Asgard but also in not having us killed despite that he probably could have this done so quickly and so easily if he is as capable as we are lead to believe. So with all this said, there’s also the other realm that again, as far as my memory serves right, has not been mentioned in FEH in any capacity, Vanaheim. I say Vanaheim does present for a potential set-up as the penultimate Book of the over-arching story. It could be the focus of Book VII or come in at a later book, basically the book before we finally take on Asgard (would be nice to take a deeper dive into Jotunheimr beforehand because we didn't get much for it in Book V) Given their relationship with the Aesir, the Vanir could potentially serve either as unexpected allies or an antagonistic group hoping to put a halt on Askr's attempt to war with Asgard, since I can see them having a reason for either or, or there could be an issue the Vanir have unrelated to Askr or Asgard (but then again, Askr is always wounding up at the center of conflicts for whoever's the immediate threat) Assuming the Vanir conflict is in relation of Askr and Asgard's feud, I also see this as potential for the Lost Gang to show up again as more foes we deal with or even the All Father showing up, most likely a face reveal followed by a warning/threat to us during Book Vanaheim (I mean, eventually, you may as well try approaching your enemy directly) or in the ending for a teaser. But that's how I would try to set it up since I personally think given it's status as the realm of the Vanir, if you're gonna do a book on Vanaheim, it better be the penultimate. There’s quite a bit of ways FEH’s story could go after Book VI, but we won’t really see for sure until Book VII is finally revealed. As a side note, though I don’t quite believe FEH as a whole will stop once the story is finally concluded, I will say that I hope before it all finally comes to an end, I would love to see figures such as Hvergel and the Jotun Queen be made playable as well as FEH OCs who’ve only been playable through alts thus far.

[depressed-teacup-inc]

Hey I'm back let's talk Season 5

So... first episode of season 5. I'm... holy shit man I'm not in a good enough headspace for another season.

As per usual, I'd like to start on a positive note before explaining why everything goes to shit, so let me list out some nice things in the first episode of season 5:

1. Ladybug is half-way decent to Chat Noir!

Like honestly girl, kudos that after an entire season of continuously abusing and treating Chat like shit and lying, you had the decency to let him use the bunny miraculous, can't wait for this moment to be forgotten and to go back to the status quo of still lying to Chat about the identity rule DESPITE THE FACT IT LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER!

(Like literally Bunnyx apparenty revealed herself to her dad a while back and gave him selfoes of herself across rime what the fuck)

2. Hawkmoth chose the smart first move for having all the miraculouses, and used time travel! Like sis good job thinking ahead here a bit! Can't wait for you to proceed to be a dumbass about it (shit right this is the positive list)

3. Nathalie calling out Gabriel

This is just what it sounds like bestie, Nathalie deserves better then to be a simp, go off queen.

...OK LET'S DISCUSS WHY THIS GOES BAD REALLY BAD

LADYBUG AND HAWKMOTH ARE ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOTS

Like holy shit I never thought these guys could get any dumber, let's start with Ladybug.

Ok side note, even if I made it in the season 4 finale post, I despise how they let Ladybug off an entire season of abuse like this. LIKE GIRL DEADASS MAKES THE SECOND WORST POSSIBLE MISTAKE ABOUT THE MIRACULOUSES (The first would be to just hand Hawkmoth the Ladybug and Cat miraculouses) AND EVERYONE FORGIVES HER JUST LIKE THAT!!! CHAT LITERALLY JUST FORGIVES ALL THIS SHIT DESPITE HOW AWFUL SHE WAS TO HIM!

and again, I don't care how much Marinette cries about how she messed up (Here's why) BECAUSE SHE NEVER LEARNS! she never actually develops after making mistakes so her crying is like salt on open wounds.

AND THIS EPISODE! THE EPISODE MEANT TO THEMATICALLY REPRESENT LADYBUG LITERALLY GETTING SECOND CHANCES AND FIXING HER MISTAKES!!! have her do this.

Now don't get me wrong, I get freaking out or being out of it when you see that your greatest enemy deadass just collapsed on the floor, but after she made the mistake of hesitating and taking the bunny miraculous knowing it's affected by catch, INSTEAD OF TAKING ALL THE MIRACULOUSES OFF OF MONARCH (God that name) AND THEREFORE SECURING THE DOG MIRACULOUS AND BUNNY MIRACULOUS BOTH AT ONCE!!!

THIS BITCH (after crying of course because her life is hardddd) DOESNT JUST GO BACK IN TIME AND QUICKLY GET ALL THE MIRACULOUSES, NO! SHE JUST MAKES THIS WHOLE ASS CONVOLUTED PLAN TO TAKE JUST THE BUNNY MIRACULOUS USING ANOTHER VERSION OF THE DOG MIRACULOUS (BTW do kwamis exist outside of time? god time travel gives me a headache) WHICH COULD HAVE ONLY SUCCEEDED IF HAWKMOTH WOULD MAKE THE STUPIDEST CHOICE POSSIBLE BASED ON A JEWELRY BOX!!!

which brings me... To Monarch. God he was a dumbass.

LITERALLY. BITCH HAS THE CURE FOR NATHALIE/EMILIE WITHIN HIS FINGERTIPS. THE POSSIBILITY TO LITERALLY REVERSE EVERYTHING. AND THIS BITCH CHOOSES TO GO CHASE LADYBUG (and I'm just saying Ladybug, because deadass, at this point it feels like the show forgets that Chat Noir is supposed to be Monarch's enemy too, like he's so ignored even in battles) BECAUSE OF AND I'll SAY IT AGAIN. A JEWELRY BOX!!!!

The entire plot of this series could have ended right here, right now if it weren't for the world's most flimsy plot thread. And in an episode about second chances and fixing your mistakes too.

But at least Gabe gets called out for it, while Ladybug is praised saying "See! you'll figure it out you're the best!"

Also Monarch's design is dumb, and I'm disappointed they didn't have a design of just Fluff and Nooroo for Bunny girl Hawkmoth.

And with the trailers for Multiplication and Hawkmoth melting the miraculouses into rings, and the names of the episodes? I am pretty certain this season is turning into "Miraculous: Pokemon edition! collect them all!"

But hey at least Rabbit Noir and Alix were cute!

(Alix you should have kept the Barrett sweetie it suited you)

[sapphic-bifrost]

its funny bc i figured out my ex is now dating the person she was emotionally cheating on me with for months at the same time that i was literally making myself sick just to make extra time for her, time which she repeatedly disrespected and effort which she repeatedly disregarded even though it was negatively affecting every single other aspect of my life and I communicated all of this to her regularly <3

up until that exact moment i would have still wanted to hear her out and try to be friends if she ever pulled her head out of her ass and stopped mincing words with me, but turns out she’d rather move on to the next person who wont ask anything of her at all while giving her everything humanly possible. yknow instead of actually trying to figure out how to be a person with “valid emotions” that doesnt use the validity of their own emotions to nullify the validity of the negative emotions of everyone else affected by her actions, a mindset that causes everyone who has any sort of conflict with her to feel worse and worse about themselves because no matter what to do, she finds a way to make everything your fault and make you feel bad for things that are objectively her fault, and when she cant make an excuse she just stops communicating and doesnt apologize sincerely if at all, and then never takes initiative to actually fix any of the problems that she’s involved in. And then when you finally run out of mental energy bc you’ve been working alone, you finally give up and then she plays the victim, as if her lack of attention and empathy and emotional intelligence and effort isnt the cause of every single problem that other people have with her, problems that could be easily solved if she ever actually listened to anyone tell her anything and thought critically about how her actions affect other people instead of just about how she feels and what she wants.

basically i spent so much of my fucking life on this person and after finding this last thing out, i can finally say i regret it. i dont regret that it proved my own strength of character and faith in people and empathy and patience and ability to choose love until the last possible moment. i dont regret how i behaved because i did the best i could, and it was far more than i should have been doing for such a long period of time. i dont regret how i was, because either i did well or made mistakes and grew from them, no thanks to any communication from her. but i regret that i spent it on someone who wasn’t worth it. i regret that she was the receiving end of my efforts. i regret that i didnt spend that effort loving someone who would have made it all worth the cost. someone who would never have been that expensive to begin with.

i made such a mistake the first time i stayed, and the second time, and the third, and every time i wanted to leave but worked through it on my own without her even knowing, and then came back to communicate with her instead in the hopes that she’d care enough to fix it without the ultimatum of a breakup threat. even the breakup wasnt enough for her to even reflect and be honest and open and actually vulnerable instead of toeing the line of honesty and jumping back at the first moment you arent coddling her. not sure why she still fails to grasp the concept that it’s not other people’s job to always make it easy for you to solve your own problems. they can help, they can be sympathetic, they can listen, but people are entitled to their own reactions and emotions too, especially when the problem being addressed is one that hurts that person’s feelings (especially more when the person’s feelings arent being hurt bc they made a mistake and admitting it bruises their ego, but rather that their own emotions are being invalidated or disregarded or directly attacked). that it’s not your job to have to work to be told the truth. you keep a person’s trust, and then the person who “trusts” you needs to come forward on their own. and even knowing all that, i still swallowed the knife and tried to put my own negative emotions aside to make it ~easy~ for her to actually try and communicate honestly without me coaxing it from her for once. and it was such a mistake. such a mistake to think that with enough patience and enough love and enough unreciprocated work, with enough of a ~fighting chance~, she would become the person i believed she was, believed she could be. it was such a mistake to disregard the hefty personal cost that came with giving that to her, thinking she was worth it. i know all that now, and lord knows how impressed i am that i chose to love her for that long when even before we dated she was the first person to ever make me feel deeply hurt to the point of physical illness. im impressed i even gave her as much as i did. everyone who knows says so too, even those who always play devils advocate and try to help me brainstorm what the other person is feeling to try and understand. they were at a loss, i saw one of the most well-from-the-other-person’s-pov leaning guy stare at the ceiling for a minute, then go “uh. usually i can see the other side but im literally…. ? there is no other side here. you were right and you didnt deserve that. im so sorry” and bitch i almost cried right there

anyways needed to write all this out now that im not raging anymore. current man held me and listened to me talk about it last night because i was so fucking mad and he was so kind and sweet and we moved into affectionate talking and sweet cuddling and after a minute of looking at my face, he put his face into my neck and said quietly “she doesnt know what she lost” and god I appreciate him so much.

[whiskehorange]

Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!

Jason

Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?

When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards

He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do

Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you

Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)

Michael

You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response

Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"

Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point

The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do

It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.

Bubba

There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside

His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines

Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another

A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset

In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time

Thomas

Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long

He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally

To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared

Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!

His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug

Braham

However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand

Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him

He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge

However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how

He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next

Pyramid Head

What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately

He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it

Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again

While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you

Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-

Asa

Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him

He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him

There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up

He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep

Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends

Harry

Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours

He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite

It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you

He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place

[autisticlenaluthor]

Literally anything with Alex and Kara making Lena feel included please <3

i may have deviated from the prompt just a bit bc it's mostly Alex but they're both trying :,)

---

Lena’s never been good at making friends.

She isn’t sure if she’s good at being one– nobody’s stuck around long enough for her to know for sure; though, she concludes from that that she isn’t.

She gathers at a young age that it’s because she’s too much.

She’s too excitable, too talkative, too quiet, too smart, too slow, too formal, too Lena. And people don’t like those who are like her. Those who can’t just be the thing they’re supposed to and correct the things that are wrong.

Lena doesn’t like it either.

She hates the way she interacts with the world– the way she talks for longer than is appropriate or always gets the joke just a minute too late (if she even gets it at all). She hates that she arrives at every event thirty minutes early just in case then sits in her car, hiding on her phone, until it’s an appropriate time to leave. Or that the speech disorder she developed as a child never seemed to go away, even after years of correctional therapy. She hates that for whatever reason, she can’t wear jeans or any type of wool (even just the thought of wearing them together makes her want to gag). She hates it all.

But more than anything, Lena hates the way that no matter how hard she tries– she can never find a way to fix it.

And so when Kara invites her to a game night, Lena has no reason at all to believe the invitation is serious. She’s known Kara for all of three months and two weeks– not that she’s been counting because that would be weird, and while they’re acquaintances, she’d never really considered them to be friends.

She says yes without even a moment's hesitation though. It goes against everything Lena’s ever known– friendship and casual interaction but the thought of actually having a real friend is too exciting to turn down (really, it’s Kara that excites her, but same difference, right?)

The rest of the day, Lena spends cursing herself for being so impulsive and acting without reason.

Because what does she know about this sort of thing? The closest thing she ever had to a game night growing up was when she’d stay up late as a kid and sit by the staircase as she listened to her father argue with other businessmen in the living room.

God, it’s pathetic to think about. Lena clings to the notion– the discomfort and self-loathing and that constant voice in her head that tells her she should’ve never been invited. She shouldn’t be allowed to go because she’ll mess things up with her and Kara just like she’s messed up every potential friendship in the past.

Each day, Lena writes out a cancellation text, and each day she deletes it. Her anxiety gets the best of her, telling her she sounds too cold or too unfriendly and that if she sends it, Kara will never invite her to anything ever again.

The cycle continues until Friday, when Lena realizes game night is tonight and it’s too late to back out. She figures the only thing she can do is to do what she always does– prepare for every single worst case scenario possible in order to prevent a disaster.

For the first time since she became CEO, Lena leaves work early.

She buys two bottles of wine– one red and one white just in case, then spends almost an hour digging through her closet to find something to wear. Kara described the event as being pretty relaxed but Lena knows that could mean any number of things. Black pants and a nice sweater might work but she doesn’t want to risk showing up in work clothes when the rest of the group might be wearing sweats.

Lena tries on and tosses to the floor nearly every item of clothing she has. After what feels like hours, she lands on a gray sweatshirt with red patches that spell MIT across the chest. She pairs it with her only pair of jeans (ones she bought years ago back in grad school that are now tight around the waist and cut awkwardly into her stomach) and tells herself she’s found the right balance.

Sure, the jeans make her want to crawl out of her own skin and die, but she doesn’t have anything else. Not unless she wants to show up in a designer suit which she knows will not go over well.

Once she’s dressed, Lena sits on the edge of her bed until it’s an acceptable time to leave.

She thinks about cleaning up her mess of a bedroom or picking up one of the various books she’s in the middle of reading, but the impending deadline of having to leave feels too dooming. So dooming that it freezes her for forty-five minutes until it’s 5:30– which, in her anxiety-ridden state, Lena finds an acceptable time to leave.

She arrives at Kara’s at six because she was told she doesn’t need to be there until 6:30.

Instead of hiding in her car for the next half hour, Lena decides to get up and walk around. She circles the block where Kara’s loft is to get a feel for the area, pulling her sleeves around her fists and sucking in her stomach so she won’t have to feel the waistband of her pants chafing against her skin.

She pretends to check and recheck her phone whenever she sees someone come her way, forcing as much nonchalance as possible so nobody walking past will look and see just how nervous she truly is.

The plan goes well at first (as well as it can, considering Lena is fully allowing her paranoia to dictate her every move) until she sees a tall redhead who, from the back, looks just like Alex. Lena’s body clenches and quickly she holds up her phone and reopens the article she’d been reading; Most Common American Board Games and How to Play Them.

Her heart is pounding and knees shaking– she can feel herself growing warm, god, it feels like she’s going to throw up. The woman turns around, Alex, turns around, and smiles at her, waving awkwardly as she jogs over.

“Hey,” she says, slipping her hands into her back pockets. “What are you doing here so early? Game night doesn’t start for a while.”

“I uh–”

Alex peers over at Lena’s phone and laughs at the screen. It isn’t malicious and Lena knows it, but still, her heart sinks. She swallows and turns her phone off before quickly stuffing it into the pocket of her hoodie. Part of her wants to make up an excuse about how she was just trying to refresh her memory or something equally as believable, but she can’t bring herself to say a word.

She knows when she starts to feel this way the stutter comes back and she can’t risk messing up in front of Kara and her friends. She can’t be the girl who doesn’t speak properly– who trips over her words whenever things get hard. The one whose presence reminds the people around her that they really aren’t as embarrassing as they think they are (they’ll never be as embarrassing as Lena).

So perhaps the silence is for the best, Lena figures, shuffling on her heels as she looks down at the pavement.

“Maggie was just getting donuts,” Alex says when the quiet starts to get awkward. She tugs at her own jacket, smiling uncomfortably. “There’s a great place down the street, Kara talks about it all the time.”

Lena hums and nods.

“Were you gonna pick something up too or just stand here until it’s time to go in?”

Lena’s mouth goes dry and her cheeks fill with heat.

“That was a joke,” Alex reassures her, though, it doesn’t make her feel any better. “I’m also crazy about getting places on time. It used to drive Kara insane when we were kids because she had the worst time management skills. She still does. Sometimes I lie to her and say we have to get somewhere an hour before we actually need to. It’s the only way to get anything done.”

Lena chuckles and offers another nod. She finds herself thinking about a frantic Kara, running to her door with her coat hanging off one shoulder and briefcase in hand. She has to keep herself from smiling at the thought– keep from daydreaming for too much longer.

Thankfully, before things can get worse, Maggie finds them and asks why they’re crowding outside. Alex spares Lena the embarrassment of saying she found her alone outside and instead just says they’d been chatting.

“Oh okay,” Maggie says and slips her hand into Alex’s.

Lena has to keep from staring at the sight. Not because she’s judging but because she knows there’s nothing she wouldn’t give to one day feel that comfortable with someone. To let their hand touch hers and not worry they’re going to use it against her.

“Let’s head inside,” Maggie adds, snapping Lena out of her head. “Kara’s probably waiting.”

---

Kara greets the trio at the door and quickly invites them all inside. She accepts both bottles of wine from Lena, thanking her and telling her she didn’t need to bring anything.

“I- I just wasn’t sure,” Lena says as Kara sets them down in the kitchen.

She pulls her sleeves back over her fingers and awkwardly rubs her hands together.

“I didn’t want to show up empty-handed.”

Kara just smiles and turns around. “It’s fine, either way, I’m really glad you came,” she admits as they head toward the living room. She links their arms together, incidentally pulling Lena close. The gesture causes her heart to skip a beat.

“James and Winn will be here soon. J’onn had to cancel; he had a… work thing.”

“Who are t- they?” Lena asks. She clears her throat and smiles nervously, hoping Kara didn’t pick up on her blip.

“Just some more friends,” Kara responds. “I’m sure you’ll love them.”

Lena nods.

“Oh, and we’ll be partners either way,” Kara adds. She does a little bounce of excitement, smiling back at her friend. “If that’s okay with you. I just thought it could be fun, you know. Since you know everything about anything, you can dominate trivia and I’ll use my stellar acting skills for charades.”

Lena can’t help the downright giggle that escapes at Kara’s words. She feels their sides brush against one another and again, her chest clenches. It fills her with thoughts of the moment outside with Alex and Maggie, she can feel herself beginning to get stupidly wishful all over again.

“I would love to be your partner,” she says eventually, cringing once she’s done because really, Lena? Could you have possibly sounded any gayer?

Lena sighs. She can get it together, she has to. It’s just a few hours of normalcy, nothing she can’t handle.

You’re a Luthor, she reminds herself. You know how to push through.

---

As the evening picks up, Kara and Lena remain side by side on the floor while Alex and Maggie take the sofa behind them. James and Winn occupy the armchairs on the other side– plates and beverages from the entire group overflowing from the table to the floor.

There are various boxes of pizza still open in the kitchen and stacks of trivia cards are splayed out in front of them. Lena’s answered a few questions so far– each time it’s something even remotely math or science-related, Kara gives it to her then shakes out her hands with delight when she inevitably answers it correctly.

Every so often she and Alex will squabble about which team is superior. Admittedly, Lena finds it hilarious, especially when Maggie says that she should see them when they play together if they seem competitive now.

The rest of the group, on the other hand, is much tamer.

Alex and Maggie are a pair, as are James and Winn. Winn seems to get all the musical theater or pop culture-related questions while James handles the sports category. They all work well together. It makes Lena wonder if they really need another addition to their group, if this will end up being their first and last gathering together.

“Ooh, Lena!” Kara calls out, catching her focus again. “It’s our turn. Can I ask this one?”

Lena nods and Kara picks up a card. She bites her lip and a crinkle appears between her eyes as she reads.

“In which country did the Easter Rising take place in 1916?”

Smiling, Lena folds her hands together. She knows this one– knows far more about it than Kara could’ve ever imagined because she spent three years in high school deep-diving into Irish history before attempting to form an Irish History Club (which ended up just being her sitting in her favorite history teacher’s room during lunch each Monday and recounting fun facts to him. Turned out there wasn’t a huge fanbase for that niche at the preparatory boarding school Lillian had sent her to.)

“Ireland,” Lena says quickly, holding her hands against her stomach to keep from stimming. “I- in Irish it’s actually called the Éiri Amach n- na Cásca.”

She blushes bright red and looks down at the ground to avoid Kara’s lingering gaze. She knows stopping would be the rational thing to do– she’s stuttering already and when she’s this excited, trying to fix her speech while she’s still going only makes things worse. But the naive, foolish part of her thinks that maybe she can get through it. She can say it all quickly and in one piece and put all that nervous energy aside to keep from messing up.

“It happened during Eas- s- ster Week. The Irish Rep- p- republicans launched a rising a- against British rule in Ireland t- to try and form an independent Irish Rep- public. I- it’s considered one of the most si-significant uprisings in I- Irish history.”

As soon as she’s done, Lena quickly looks away. She starts to fiddle with her fingers as her heart rate picks up its pace. She’s never stuttered in front of Kara before– she can only imagine what the rest of the group must be thinking.

“Are you into history?” Alex asks after a moment, smiling as she sips her drink.

Lena nods and forces a small, stiff smile in return.

“Not to brag, but I was the only one in my APUSH class to get a five on the exam,” Alex says. She folds one leg over the other and leans back in her chair like some sort of cartoon supervillain.

“Yeah, because there were eight other people in your class,” Maggie says, whacking her girlfriend in the leg. “If you’re gonna get cocky, get cocky about something impressive.”

Lena laughs and for just a second, looks back at Kara. She’s still got the crinkle but her expression has changed. Lena can’t tell to what.

“I um– I’ll be right back,” she says without thinking.

“What– what just happened?” Kara stammers, looking to Alex once Lena’s gone. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Alex frowns. “I think I might’ve scared her away.”

---

Lena’s heart nearly stops when she walks out of the bathroom five minutes later to see Alex standing in the hall.

“What the fuck, Alex?” She whispers, the words slipping right out.

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles with a half-smile. “I just wanted to ask if you were alright. You seem nervous and I don’t know, I feel bad for cornering you earlier.”

Lena pauses, nodding as she wraps her arms around herself. Perhaps if she were stronger she would’ve snapped and pushed her away. She would’ve said nothing was going on and that Alex needed to stop poking her nose into other people’s business.

But Lena isn’t strong. And when she’s in a new place surrounded by people she doesn’t know (people who she desperately just wants to impress) whatever bit of solidity she has withers away and dissolves right before her eyes.

“I’m fine,” Lena says after a moment. She forces a smile and grips the fabric of her hoodie. “I’m just…”

“I’m not used to s- social activities,” she adds and looks away, finding a paint-chipped spot on the wall to stare at. Already, her voice is thick with emotion. She hates herself for falling apart so quickly. “Or having friends.”

Alex nods and takes a moment to think before responding. “I know we can come on a little strong. If it made you uncomfortable…”

Lena shakes her head.

“No, I- I messed things up. Not you.”

“How?”

Pursing her lips and swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena lifts her head and meets Alex’s eyes. She knows they both know what it is. Somehow the act of acknowledging her stutter feels even more humiliating than the way she’d fumbled before.

“Oh,” Alex says eventually. “Really? The stutter?”

Lena nods.

“I just… I r- really like Kara,” she admits, smiling sadly. There are tears in her eyes and it hurts to speak. She’s dangerously close to crying and the thought of crying in front of Alex only makes her feel worse. “I wanted to be her friend and I- I thought…”

Lena shrugs and looks down at the ground. Slowly, she sucks in a breath.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to do well for her.”

“Lena, you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean it,” Alex adds when Lena shakes her head. “Kara has spent the past week talking non-stop about how all she wants is to be able to impress you. She thinks you’re like, the smartest person there is– she was so excited to have you over and see you outside of work.”

“Really?” Lena asks, unable to tell if Alex is telling the truth.

“Really,” Alex repeats. “I can guarantee, Kara doesn’t care if you stutter or not. She’s just glad that you’re here.”

“I’m glad she invited me,” Lena says, her voice hardly above a whisper. “I mean… I’ve been freaking out ever since she did but… still.”

Alex nods. “Then go back out there and sit with her. She’s probably dying to interrupt us anyways.”

Lena laughs and nervously wipes her eyes. “You won’t tell her about this?”

“Of course not.” Alex crosses her heart for dramatic effect. “Now stop pining and go get your girl.”

[allandoflimbo]

Ashens (Part 32)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy and angry sex, heavy on the angst, and very strong language.

Final Part of ASHENS.

++

Full story here:

ASHENS MASTERLIST

"You're safe." He says, exhausted.

You pull away from him, still keeping a hand on the side of his neck as you stare down his body.

"I'm safe? You— you're alive." You say almost in disbelief, "H-how? I-"

His metal hand goes to your arm and trailing it up to your face, he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I couldn't run. I had to be careful. That's why it took me so long," simple explanation that only but tore your emotions in two. A lonely tear runs down your cheek as he continues, "being an assassin for so long finally paid off. Except for the shot to my shoulder when I was a couple hundred of feet away from the exit." He ends with a grimace on his face and your face quickly falls, eyes going to his shoulder in panic, "Bitch hurt like a motherfucker."

"They shot you?"

"It bounced off the vibranium and grazed the skin. I'm fine. Nothing a couple of hours super soldier serum can't fix." He says, smile not nearly reaching his eyes yet.

You're still in shock.

You pull him down until his forehead against yours.

The small joking moment passes fairly quickly. A cool breeze blows through.

"I thought you were gone. I thought," you swallow thickly, "I thought we lost you."

Bucky's eyes close together and he leans down and runs his lips over yours in a gentle kiss.

"I'm here, baby."

Life couldn't get any sweeter than this. Of that, you were convinced.

+ + +

Three days of revised sleep shifts and sipping water and eating trail mix. Only thing that wasn't messy, wouldn't spoil, and could you fueled for just enough time. During your shifts when you were awake you watched with heart full as Bucky and Ashens slept contently, nightmares free.

During Bucky's shifts, his face remained blank and void of emotion.

He was scared to be real right now and for the right reasons.

On the evening of the third day, you finally arrived.

You did not expect this. You had even told the nice girl Jessica, before you left, that you doubted you'd ever even be back here after the mission. You figured you'd somehow end up getting yourself killed after courageously killing your parent's killer with your own hands just like you had pictured it for years in your head, and that'd you'd do it with your nemesis Bucky by your said.

Everything couldn't be further from what really happened.

Everything literally went not according to your plan, in the best way possible.

Walking through the familiar pathway between the bushes and passed two tress, the three of you (dirty from dirt, tired, and awfully hot) finally step foot into the familiar camp.

It was a quieter day than when you had first gotten there, but everything else remained the same, including the all too familiar guy with green/blue eyes trying to set up what looks like an extra tent in the far left side of the field.

Whispers and voices add in as the people look up to finally see the three of you.

Bucky lets out a long breath and walks towards Steve's direction, guiding you and Ashens along with him.

Steve is setting up a black tarp underneath the tent when he decides to look up towards the sound of foliage breaking underneath someone's feet. His mouth opens slightly in surprise when he sees you, and then Bucky.

His shocked expression intensifies when he sees Ashens next to you, and even more when he finally stands and his gaze lands on yours and Bucky's hands interlocked.

Interesting enough, those reactions last only a few seconds, and you know that if it weren't for you analyzing his every move, you wouldn't have even really noticed it.

There's a shine in his eyes and bright smile on his face as he walks over to you.

His strong gait makes something brew inside of you that causes tears to form in your eyes and it's then that you realize you survived, and you completed the mission, and that Ashen was dead. You did it.

You and Bucky did it.

Steve stops when he's about two feet away from the both of you, and he eyes the three of you one more time.

He turns to Bucky and they share a tight hug. Bucky lets go of your hand to hug his best friend back.

You watch their silent embrace with tears and it's then that you realize how close the two really are. You've always heard about it in stories growing up and on the outside looking in, but seeing it in person, the way Bucky's eyes close tightly in a way you hadn't really seen before, and Steve releasing what could only sound like a breath of relief, you realized how important it really was to them to be here right now.

Steve pulls away and he gives Bucky a pat on the shoulder followed by a squeeze.

"Not that I didn't think you'd make it, I have the upmost trust in you - probably more than anyone else on this planet, but —" Steve takes a deep breath and looks at you and down at Ashens before continuing, "I'm really glad you did it, Buck."

Bucky nods shyly and then looks at you.

You both share a long and intense look.

"We did it." He says quietly, searching your eyes for something that you weren't sure of. Steve's eyes narrow curiously between the both of you, noticing a change. Bucky reaches down for your hand again and then looks at Steve, "I know we're back early. There was some things that changed the timing; some things that came up. I can explain them to you and everyone in the main tent," your brows furrow as you realize he doesn't want you in on this.

"What? Bucky, what about me?"

His eyes go to you and his look is soft and not domineering. You backpack began to weigh even more on your shoulders.

"You have to get some rest." He says gently.

"Yeah, and so do you."

He looks at you sympathetically.

"Fine, but at least have some more water first, and we need to get you cleaned. I need to take care of you, too."

Steve's head goes back and forth at the interesting conversation between the both of you.

"I'm not thirsty right now and I can do that later." You retaliate.

"Baby —" Steve's perks a hilariously comical brow at Bucky's word choice and his mouth opens again.

"Hold on." Steve cuts through, a hand raised up to chest level. Both you and Bucky look at Steve and you watch his serious face analyzing Bucky's face.

"What?" Bucky asks genuinely concerned.

"Clearly I missed out on a lot." His jaw goes tight for a second and he smiles. He contemplates his words carefully, "Bucky, she'll be okay for a few more minutes while you both brief us. You can follow me, we actually just finished going over something so they should still be all there, but first," his eyes go to Ashens and back to you. This is the first time you find yourself scared under Cap's gaze. Was he disappointed? Being critical? You don't know even know. He looks away from you and kneels down in front of Ashens, "Hi." He greets him gently.

Ashens looks like he's seen a ghost and doesn't respond.

Steve looks at you with a raised brow.

"He's a captain America fan. He's shy." You say. Steve looks at Bucky and then back to Ashens.

"Alright, kid. I can do shy," he gives him a big smile, "right now I'm just going to take you to another tent and you'll be fine ,okay? It's just so us grown ups can discuss some things real quick, and then they'll come and get you. Okay?" Ashens nods and takes Steve's extended hand, "Great, come on."

You let out a loud sigh as they both walk away, not that far from either of you, and then into a smaller tent.

You watch as Bucky closes his eyes tightly again and he takes a deep breath. Your eyes narrow and you bring a hand to his warm-to-the-touch neck, making him fully face you.

"You okay?" You ask quietly.

He nods quietly.

"'M fine." He mumbles.

"Hey, we made it, okay?" You say, bringing him in closer so his forehead is on yours, "the hard part is over," he continues to keep his eyes closed, "look at me," he finally opens his eyes and he looks at you in a way that has you wanting to kiss him again. So you do. "We made it." You say against his lips.

Bucky opens his lips and he only gets a squeak out before a commotion comes up from behind him.

"They're here? Why didn't you tell us sooner, she needs to know-"

"They literally just got here two seconds ago, Jess."

"—and what do you mean they're acting different—"

Jessica's words are cut short as she eyes yours and Bucky's current position with the upmost curiosity, surprise, and definite amusement.

You and Bucky pull away from each other bashfully, knowing fully well everyone deserved an explanation for everything.

Jess smiles as she runs up to you and hugs you.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

"We are too." You respond. She smiles and looks between the both of you.

She reaches down and takes your hand.

"Follow me. There's something you should see."

+ + +

You weren't sure what to expect as your walked down the back side of the camp towards the river where you and Bucky had your first fight. You weren't sure what to expect when you saw the group of young people sitting next to a dingy table with screws and wires thrown on it, but seeing Will alive and breathing certainly was not one of them.

You're barely down the short hill when you coldly rip your hand out of Bucky's hands. You speed walk to Will, his side still turned to you. You don't know what Bucky's reaction to you leaving him behind was, but he would know why you reacted that way once he realized who this was. To be honest, that was the very last thing on your mind.

Will was alive.

You feel the hot tears finally leak out onto your cheeks, shocking you. You didn't even realize you were crying so profusely.

You see the moment he sees you and he has no time to respond before you've already got your arms around his neck, sobbing into his chest.

He's still too stunned to saying anything, and his hand goes to the back of your head. He says your name softly and you sniff harshly into his shirt before pulling away. Wiping your nose on your sleeve, you look down at his at abdomen. You take your right hand and place it on his chest where you feel a very real and very sturdy heart beat.

"You're alive." You say.

He gives you the sweetest smile and grabs your hand, holding it against him.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"But— I—" you stutter shaking your head, "You died in my arms. I mourned you. I — I didn't feel a heart beat. I don't—" before he can explain you have him in your arms again, "Holy shit, Will." He laughs into your hair, leaving a small kiss on your head.

"Hey," the feminine voice behind you says. You let go of Will and turn to see Jessica and Will finally reach you. Jessica is smiling and Bucky looks like he's two seconds away from ripping Will's head off, "Look who's back."

"I don't underhand, how did you get here? How?" You ask in total confusion over everything.

He was dead. Or he had been.

"Nick went back to look for him after you described your trail and what had happened. Nick gets bored sometimes, apocalypse and everything now, so he likes to explore incidents." Jess starts.

"He found me with a weak pulse, but very much still alive. Brought me here and they helped me. They said I was lucky it was only a minor evisceration."  Will continues.

Guilt hits you like a ton of bricks.

"I left you there alive and hurt. Vulnerable and alone." You say with huge guilt in your tone.

"You didn't know, Y/N." Will responds.

"I should've." You say strongly.

"There's a chance that even if you knew and you continued to help walk him for miles it might've made it worst. We had a team of help. If it would've been just you it was a lost cause anyway."

"You basically saved my life leaving me there." Will says with a slight joke to his tone.

"How long was this ago?" You ask.

"I got here about five and a half months ago." He answers.

You run a hand through your hair.

Five and a half months.

Will looks at you for an extra second and then at Bucky who hasn't look amused, happy, or said even a word the entire time yet. Will doesn't know what to say, having seen you two holding hands just moments before. He felt awkward, not knowing how he should converse between the two of you.

"I'm guessing the mission went well?" Will asks.

"Sorry, shit," you turn to Bucky, putting a hand on his arm, "Bucky this is Will."

Bucky raises a brow this time, everything clicking, and looks at Will.

"Oh, hey," he looks him up and down and extends his vibranium arm for Will to shake, "Nice to meet you, finally."

Will tilts his head and looks at you with a small smile.

"Finally?"

Bucky continues shaking his hand, "Oh yea, she's told me a lot about you. You're the best friend."

Will smiles again at that and Bucky finally lets go of his hand.

Bucky  sharply turns to look at you, "You should come back and catch up with him after we're doing with our briefing." Bucky says sincerely, knowing how much your friendship with Will meant to you. He'll never forget the first time you told him about Will, minutes before you rode him for the first time.

"Oh that's right. We have to do this thing, and then I promise, I'll come back and we can talk more." You say.

Will looks between you and Bucky and nod.

"I understand. You two do what you need to do." You nod and take a deep breath.

Then, the reveal happens too quickly for everyone. You're taking Bucky's metal hand in yours, Will and Jessica both looking at it, and then you're saying "ow" and you limp forward and then Bucky's asking you if you're okay, vibranium hand going to your belly. "You okay? Is it the baby?"

Jessica's eyes widen and Will's mouth is agape as he stares down at Bucky's hand on your stomach.

You shake your head quickly.

"No," a small smile breaks over your face, "no, it wasn't that, I just accidentally stepped into a small ditch and it catapulted my weight down a bit." You chuckle.

Bucky wraps his metal arm around your waist and helps you stand up taller. He places a soft kiss at the top of your head.

"Wait, you're pregnant?" Jessica asks suddenly.

You turn around slightly to look back at her, already have walked a bit away.

"Sorry, we were going to tell everyone later. Yeah." Your eyes catches Wills'. He's still a bit stunned, looking between Bucky, Bucky's hand, and you.

"Are you two together?" She asks, "like dating?"

Bucky gives Jessica a smile and it's the first time she's ever seen him do that before. It stuns her for just a moment until she finds it bittersweet.

"Yes, we're dating." He says simply.

"That's amazing. I'm so happy for you two."

"Thank you." "Thanks." You both say.

"Look, we really gotta go brief them now but I swear, as soon as I'm done, I'll have her back in time for the both of you, okay?" Bucky says playfully.

Both Will and Jessica gives you both a smile, Will's eyes lingering on yours for an extra second longer.

"We have a lot to catch up on." You tell him with a wink.

"Yeah. Yeah, we do." Will says with a small smile.

+ + +

"Bucky, the main tent is that way. Bucky, what are you—"

You're both passing tents you hadn't seen before and some fire torches that's been set up along the path for visualization.

"Shh, just in here real quick before we go." He says, pulling you into another tent you hadn't been in before.

You notice the larger cot on the far side and a solar powered lamp turned on next to it. On the far side of the table you see a large table with black boxes on it and some others up against the sides.

"What is this?" You ask with a sweet tone your voice that makes his heart swell.

It felt intimate in here.

"My room."

You raise a brow and give him a playful smile as you watch him sit on his bed.

You walk up to him as he watches you like he's stuck in a trance.

"Bucky." You say softly and with a small smirk, place both your hands on his shoulders. He gives you a dark look before removing your hand off the shoulder that belongs to the flesh hand. You're about to retaliate when he brings you near him with a nudge on your hip with his metal hand. This makes the edges of your lips perk up. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

He gives you a small smile.

"Are you seducible?" He whispers back.

You let out a chuckle.

"I shouldn't have let you watched that movie."

He continues to stare up at you as you both quiet down and his eyes are intense on you. The tone in the room shifts again to something a little more serious.

"Get down on your knees." You wonder where this is going and you sink down to your knees, obliging, "right down in front of me." He adds quietly, widening his legs a bit for your form to fit with him. You do as he asks of you, placing each hand on his knees to help you move easily in between his legs. He sees yours eyes go to his zipper for just a second and he puts his hand on your cheek, "not for that," your eyes meet and he scoots up until he's practically looking down at you, "I want to talk. Just us. Like this." he notices your slight fear in your eyes at his choice of words, "don't worry, I'm not breaking up with you sweetheart. I'll never do that," he leans his foreheads against yours, "ever." His thumb trails over your bottom lip, "tell me you're pregnant again. It'll be different this time."

You know exactly what he means. You scoot forward and place both your hands on either side of his neck. You take a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

He closes his eyes and hits the side of his nose against yours.

"When did you find out?" He asks quietly.

"Only a few days ago. I wanted to find the right time. When," your nose hits his again, "when we were saying goodbye I didn't think I'd get another chance," Bucky whimpers slightly, "I didn't think you were going to make it. I know it was selfish of me to risk mine and the baby's life like that. I shouldn't have run. I'm sorry." Bucky sniffs quietly remembering those exact moments.

A few long seconds pass by.

"I'm glad you told me when you did," he opens his eyes and stares down at you, "You know me more than anyone else in this world. You know —" you feel a heavy tug on your hair and realize it's his running his metal hand through it, "you know how ready I was to give up," his voice cracks, "How much I didn't care if I lived or died. I have issues and we both know that, we both know I need help with issues that are none of my fault. You showed me that and taught me that. The more I fell in love with you, the move I loved you, and the more I wanted to keep loving you and stay with you. The more I realized I did have something to live for. I had good in my life again, because of your beautiful and kind soul. I once asked you to give me something to live for. You remember that don't you, baby?" You nod, "I do now. I have us. I have our life that I want for us. I want — fuck —I want," he almost sounds angry now as he pulls slightly away but still where his face can touch yours if he turned his head just a little, "I want to live," he says through clenched teeth and tears, "I want to live. I don't want to die. And you telling me we made a little baby," he looks down at you so intensely now. There is more water pooling in his eyes, and for the first time, you notice the lack of color in his face, "oh that, knowing I made love to you and we made that baby together, just made me want to be here forever. No matter how scary it was. So when I saw that wall, I ran and I fucking ran like I never ran before. I ran for us. I lived for us, and you can be damn sure I'll be the best that I can be for both us and our kid. I'll do whatever it is that I need to do to not leave you alone in this world. I'll do whatever it is that I need to make sure our little family is happy and safe, and I will not let anything get in the way of that. Do you hear me? You are safe with me. I will protect you, I will be strong for you even when I'm not, I will love you both, and I will live my life for you both. Because I want to."

You're stunned by his beautiful speech of acceptance and love.

You nod quickly, because that's all you can do.

Your nose hits his as you lean up at a quick and awkward angle to kiss him.

The kiss is deep and harsh; raw emotions pouring into it. His lips continue to move over yours and your tongues dance deliciously. You can feel your body getting ready for more when he pulls away from you.

You're about to ask him what's wrong when you follow his gaze over your shoulder, turning your head.

Steve is standing there, looking away from the both of you, looking embarrassed and guilty.

You clearly your throat awkwardly, starting to stand on wobbly legs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to just barge in on your privacy. I needed to speak to Bucky, I just came in and I didn't know—"

Bucky swallows hard.

"It's ok," he says. Bucky gives your hand a squeeze, "go ahead to the guys without me, I'll meet you in a bit."

You give him a short nod and you give a still blushing give Steve a small smile, walking around him and out the tent.

Once you're gone, Steve turns and gives Bucky a smile.

"She's good for you. I told her to make friends with you but I didn't expect you to fall in love," Bucky gives him a short lived smile before he pales quickly, "and a baby? Buck, that's —"

"Did she leave yet?" Bucky cuts him off quickly, tugging at his coat.

Steve stops, watching Bucky in confusion as he pulls off his coat and his protection scarf.

"What-?"

"Did she leave yet!" Bucky practically screams.

Steve quickly looks outside and then sees you're in fact gone.

"Yes, she's gone."

Bucky's brows furrow in pain and he's breathing harshly and it's then that Steve realizes Bucky had been putting up a facade in front of you to look strong. He was not okay.

This man did not look like the same man from three minutes ago.

"The guy, the ring leader, he tried to kill her. He aimed a bow at her and it had spikes and it was filled with the virus. I grabbed it before it could hurt her, but I'm right handed. I'm fucking right handed. I'm so fucking stupid. It was instinct." he's rambling at this point, "I didn't want her to know. I've been keeping it away from her as best as I can and I know it was reckless of me and with the kid, putting their lives at risk, but I had to make sure they were safe. I had to make sure they got here."

He finally has the cotton layers removed, minus his shirt, before goes for the last one.

A black scarf wrapped around his hand.

Steve's heart drops as he watched the veins in his best friend's arms, which should normally be blue and purple, turning black and the ugliest shade of green he'd ever seen.

+ + +

STORY WILL CONTINUE IN "ASHENS: SAVING OUR DESTINY"

STARTS IN NEXT PART -- >

ASHENS: SAVING OUR DESTINY

Now we have Will, there's still Daisy who's alive and knows Bucky has her son, they don't know why Ashens' blood helps make a cure yet, and now Bucky needs help. Sure, he's got Ashen's blood, but is it that simple?

+

A/N : So I considered making a second book to continue the loose ends but I decided to do something different. This second part will be very different than the first for several reasons. Reason I decided to not make it second book on here was because it won't be as long as the first part, if we can even consider it a "part" since it will be significantly shorter. Didn't want to make you guys think the story will still take forever to finish, which isn't the case. It's coming to an end. There's just things still left to cover and tie up that would've made the first part way too long. And you know me, I don't bring characters in for no reason.

I think once you start reading it you'll also see why I decided to make it a part 2 and not just continue it as one, aside from the length factor. I think you'll enjoy it. ;) I will remove this note once first upload of part 2 is up. It will continue here. So not a new book. Hope this makes sense! I'm also working on a playlist for Part 2 if any are interested. I'll probably upload it along with the first playlist on the playlist chapter but after this part's title. Bare with me with uploads! Life is crazy right now. But I didn't forget you guys.

Much love! Limbo

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