#oops this ended up really long

[wyllzel]

but what are your bridgerton opinions? share share

AAHHH 🫣 ty for asking omg! opinions time 😏

my big thing is that i'm annoyed whenever people complain about the lack of historical accuracy in the clothing, or when people complain that it all looks over the top... i firmly believe that bridgerton as a series of works has no interest in historicity (see rants A and B)!! so i think it's much more interesting for the costuming department to be able to construct these really interesting, elaborate gowns instead of painstakingly trying to recreate clothing from 200 years ago :^) plus they get to use modern visual language to emphasize characters' roles!!! like we know cressida and the featheringtons are trying too hard bc the patterns/materials they wear are what we associate with tacky/costume-y sort of looks 👀

i haven't seen many people talk about this - but i really wish the show had stuck with the 10 year time skip before colin's book... penelope is 28 years old during her book romance! both her maturity and her having to reckon with being "old" while never having been kissed/romanced is a big part of why her story resonated w me ;; it doesn't quite hit the same in the show, where she's probably in her early 20s still...

probably the worst decision the show has made for the polin romance is having colin keep an erotic diary rather than what he has in the novel, which is a travel journal 😭 i'll put this below the readmore since it's a pretty big spoiler haha

^ anyway cressida's gowns are everything 😔🫡

spoilers ahead for colin's weird erotic diary!!!

basically, the polin romance works so well bc they both respect one another as writers! so far, we only have one comment from penelope about colin's writing, which is right when she reads his diary and he finds her snooping :(

throughout colin's novel, we see him as really insecure bc his brothers have achieved some measure of success (anthony is respected as the viscount bridgerton and benedict is a renowned artist) while he's just kind of traveling the european continent lol... so when colin discovers that penelope is lady whistledown, he freaks out A) because she has haters and he has to "protect" her (LMAO) and B) because she's a successful writer and he wants to publish his travel journals, but he's insecure as an amateur writer...

and basically colin has to grow from:

not understanding why penelope is so proud of her gossip column, to

understanding why penelope is so proud of her gossip column (it's her life's work and is a valid literary artform), to

overcoming his jealousy of penelope's success, to

being actively proud of penelope's success and her talents

which is so fascinating!!! i can't think of many other romances/works that feature a male romantic partner who's jealous of his female romantic partner's abilities!! dude overcame his toxic masculinity and basically spends the rest of the bridgerton saga telling anyone who listens how much he loves his wife :') it's great stuff

anyway... i'm not super sure how the bridgerton show is going to tackle the whole "colin is jealous of penelope's talents as a writer" thing... because if he's writing erotica, how is he going to get published??? is he going to be regency nicholas sparks????? also, not everything has to be about sex/romance!!! his travel journals were perfectly fine as they were!!

plus so far the only hint we have that colin's insecure is his weird playboy era, but even that... i'm not super sure if that's supposed to be evidence of his insecurity, or if the show is hastily establishing his "rake reputation" that all the bridgerton men have LMAO

[hearthfire-heartfire]

no one on the english-speaking side of this site gives a fuck about japanese people except as paper dolls in their fantasies. y’all don’t notice or care when we’re targets of violence in america STILL and you don’t notice when our history on this continent is being erased because you can’t fucking recognize it in the first place! even as we relive it.

i’m tired of the gentrification. i’m tired of vandalism, arson, and censorship. i’m tired of arguing about the atrocity of the a-bombs and the incarceration and model minority shit. i’m tired of people using my heritage as an escape, both in imagination and in physical reality. i’m tired of people’s fake familiarity that leads them to correct my grandmother’s accent coming out of my mouth.

if you don’t show up for nikkei where you live, if you don’t even know how, you don’t belong anywhere near japanese culture.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

If I could be arsed to learn how to edit videos and had some kind of mic, I would 110% make a two part video essay series on the politics of Jurassic World because MY GOD, there's so much to dissect.

The first part would be about how the park is the epitome of neoliberal futurism for techbros, including the way the park so easily falls apart though I doubt that aspect is purposeful. Everything is aesthetic first and function second, and we can't possibly use any of the reliable infrastructure we've already come up with because a train is not gonna get us to Mars, but a monorail might.

And the second would be about the buckwild terrible gender politics going on. The movie is deeply unsympathetic to Claire seemingly because she's a woman who prioritised her career as it's both centre to her character arc and also an inciting event of one of the plots. Not to mention the whole Zara thing or the Owen and Claire thing or the stupid "him, I meant him, line. The movie is rife with misogyny, but it feels like that specific misogyny was isekaied over from backlash to second wave feminism.

I could talk about it all for so long because in a way, it feels like a perfect time capsule for 2015. Back when people took Claire running in heels to be this feminist statement to be made fun of and not just a deeply misogynistic movie trying to sell you feminism. And back when Elon Musk managed to get away with his "I'm the real life Iron Man" shit, and people believed he was smart and all his plans would come to fruition. 2015 was a great time to be a tech bro in Silicon Valley with people just throwing money at all your fake promises.

Yeah. See. This is what I mean when I say I could talk about it forever.

[metalgearstranding]

Revolver Ocelot's Familial Story: an Untapped Potential

I've watched this MGSV review some time ago, and Keiv Review Things mentioned something that I rarely see pointed out by fans or critics of MGS:

"You can have an intricate story with a message about culture, the futility of revenge, and surround that story with inherently interesting characters. But what good is any of that if you don't do anything with these characters? This is a larger issue with this series, but the sheer volume of horrible shit everyone endures only to just gloss over because they got a job to do makes it far more problematic in this game."

It's always been one of my personal pet peeves with Kojima's writing. On the one hand, I love his characters, they're so cool. He allows them to be human, flawed. He doesn't judge them, which I find very refreshing.

What I don't like about his characters, is that he writes amazing backstories for them, but for a guy who's WAY too into tiny details, Kojima doesn't seem interested in exploring the emotional ramifications of those backstories...? Like Keiv said, it's just... glossed over.

In my opinion, the most glaring example of untapped story potential is Ocelot.

(Just a note before I start: I mention the novels and other sources outside of the main games many times. It's a bit of a Schrodinger's cat situation whether everything in those is considered canon by Kojima or not, so keep that in mind I suppose.)

THE (MISSABLE) REVELATION IN MGS3

During the final fight with the Boss, she opens up her suit and reveals a long, sinuous scar snaking down her body. She explains that she was pregnant with the Sorrow's child in 1944, and gave birth on the field of battle to a baby boy. That child was then taken away by the Philosophers. That's an interesting info on its own, but it really only matters if you've heard a very specific, missable codec call earlier in the game.

If you keep calling EVA after falling in the crevice, Snake will ask her how Ocelot ended up with the rank of major despite being so young. EVA says that she heard Ocelot is the son of a legendary hero, that his mother was shot in the gut during battle and gave birth to him right there. EVA also heard that after they stitched her up, the scar was shaped like a snake.

If you paid attention during that call, you can easily put two and two together later and come to the conclusion that this legendary hero is the Boss, and that child is Ocelot. This raises two important questions:

1: Did the Boss know Ocelot was her son?

2: Was Ocelot aware that the Boss was his mother?

Sadly, none of the games offers any answers.

...Unless you speak Japanese that is. And have access to either the MGS3 or Peace Walker novelization, neither of which have been translated into english. Not officially at least. Thankfully, a fan translation exists for both of them.

In the MGS3 novel, before Snake gets to the field for his confrontation with the Boss, we are treated to her inner thoughts:

“The image of Snake came to mind. And the image of Ocelot, young and growing, made her smile. Her Adamska had become a fine young man." (page 296)

This is confirmation that yes, the Boss knew that Ocelot was her son all along. On the same page, we also get an answer to the second question, as well as a new, devastating revelation:

"She tried many times to make Snake leave the area. She failed to do so, but as it turned out, it gave her what she really wanted. It saved her from another plan: to use ADAM, who didn't even know who she was, and it saved her from destruction. (…) Thank you, you saved our family."

Not only Ocelot didn't know the Boss was his mother, but if for whatever reason Snake hadn't been up to the task, Ocelot would've had to be the one to pull the trigger. Such, tasty, tasty potential for drama, tucked away in a novel that probably very few people read...

What about Snake, did he know about the link between Ocelot and the Boss in MGS3? Snake can be a bit dense, so even if you as a player manage to get EVA's codec call and make the connection, there's no telling whether Snake did. There's no mention in the MGS3 novel either, because the codec calls themselves aren't featured in it. The fight in the WIG between Snake and Ocelot isn't in the novel either, so there is no reason at all for Snake himself to draw a link between Ocelot and ADAM since they don't exchange names.

So we don't know for sure if Snake knew, right? Yes and no. You can know for sure if, again, you speak Japanese. In the "Doublethink" codec in MGSV, Snake (the real one) calls Ocelot by his real name, Adam. But according to this post, in the Japanese version, Snake apparently refers to Ocelot as "junior”, as in “son of the Boss". This is explicit confirmation (for Japanese fans at least) that Snake was aware of Ocelot's parentage, and also that at some point, Ocelot himself learned about it, maybe through Snake or Zero.

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN OCELOT, ZERO AND THE BOSS

Speaking of the devil, we learn in MGS3 that he worked with the Boss, but we get to learn a little more about them (and Ocelot) in the novel. This is a conversation between the Boss and Zero (David Oh is Zero's real name):

"Two NSA codebreakers defected to the Soviet Union four years ago. I was never informed by the CIA during my time in the US though. After that, he seems to have been engaged in intelligence work in the Soviet Union. Their codenames were ADAM and EVA."

She knew this. She had the information and waited conscientiously for the reason why no news had come, so as not to fall into the Soviet trap. Zero was somewhat alarmed by her. She paused.

"I'll ask you again. Why did you help me?"

He felt a grip on his heart at the question. It was as if he heard the creaking of a strongsoul that had silently survived a secret fight.

"In the fall of 1944, when you flew to France, you passed a soldier with a baby in his arms at the airport."

The Boss stared at him with an expressionless face. He was convinced that any lie, no matter how trivial, would be discovered. Trembling, he finally gave a slight nod. Sweat was dripping from his temples. She still said nothing. She kept her neck tensed and her eyes closed, as if she could conquer any pain, anger, or fear.

He was truly ashamed because she did not blame him.

It was an autumn night when the Allied landings at Normandy had been a success and the war was set to end early the next year. The military plane that landed in the middle of the night carrying David somehow took a crying baby with it in the turnaround. He intuitively knew the identity of the baby. So, he overlooked it.

She had a bright future ahead of her. As Commander Eisenhower's confidant, there would be plenty of work for her to do in the army and in politics after the war. But The Boss never abandoned her family. So, during the red hunt, David continued to defend her on the witness stand. He had committed a crime.

"...Yes, that's right. I knew that child was going to be your biggest scandal someday."

He didn't even regret it. That boy, little Adamska, would soon be twenty years old.

After all, he wanted to atone for his sins by trying to protect her from the red scare.

There was no hope of forgiveness. Therefore, she had kept Zero away from the Cobra Unit. But if he was truly going to work with her from now on, an apology was in order. (page 242)

The translation is a bit rough (or my reading skills might be failing me, entirely possible lol), but to recap, this passage seems to tell us that Zero crossed paths with baby Adam soon after he was taken away from his mother (and they were taking the child back to the US from what I understand?). He had an opportunity to say something, do something, but he didn't. The communist panic was in full swing at the time, and because of her relationship with the Sorrow, the Boss was suspected of being a traitor. As Zero says, “that child was going to be your biggest scandal”. So to protect the Boss against herself, safeguard the bright future in front of her, Zero didn't tell her what he knew about her son. Zero didn't regret his silence, but he still put himself on the line later on, publicly defending her, even lying to the authorities to protect her.

It's possible Zero might've been keeping tabs on Adam as he grew up, maybe he knew he was working as a codebreaker. Even if had known that, Zero was not informed that he had “defected” however (it's quite obvious the defection was as real as the Boss's, it was just an excuse to send Ocelot as a spy in Russia). It's possible that the higher ups at the CIA didn't trust Zero knowing he was close to the Boss.

This also seems to say that the Boss knew her son was a codebreaker, and that he was one of the two who had “defected”. Maybe Zero told her, maybe not. Either way, the Boss knew enough about Zero's involvement (or lack thereof) that she didn't include Zero in her Cobra Unit.

We know that post MGS3, Ocelot's real allegiance lies with Snake, but otherwise, Zero specifically is who he ends up working for. Ocelot seems genuinely loyal to him until the Patriots dissolved (as a reminder, originally, the Patriots was a group composed of Zero, Ocelot, Snake, EVA, Para Medic and Sigint. Their goal was to make the Boss's vision of the world a reality, but they couldn't agree on what that was supposed to be, so Snake left and Ocelot silently and permanently switched his true allegiance to him). Considering Zero's affection for the Boss as well as possible lingering feelings of guilt, what was his relationship with Ocelot like once he came to work solely for him? Did he just consider him coldly as another employee or did he have warmer feelings for Ocelot because of who his mother was? Could it be possible he thought of him as a son perhaps? I think it's likely that Zero was the one who told Ocelot that the Boss was his mother at the very least. That could explain Ocelot's loyalty to Zero pre-Patriots if he felt an actual kinship with him. Maybe that info was then shared with Snake and the other Patriots once the group was formed, and maybe Snake felt it was a good reason to put his trust in Ocelot from that point on.

THE WASTED OPPORTUNITIES OF PEACE WALKER (AND THE PHANTOM PAIN)

Peace Walker introduces a character with a strong tie to the Boss, Dr Strangelove. She was in love with the Boss, and she wanted a child with her. Strangelove knew the Boss had a baby of her own with the Sorrow, but it's unknown if she knew the identity of that child, where he was, and what he'd been up to.

Could Strangelove have been potentially interested in getting in contact with Ocelot? Had Ocelot been in the game, would he have wanted to know more about his mother from Strangelove's point of view?

What about the mammal pod? How would Ocelot have reacted to it? Would he be disgusted? Sad? Would he see it as an opportunity to talk to the mother he barely knew? The mammal pod was just an AI programmed by Strangelove, with information she gathered from the government or was aware of personally, so we don't know if info related to Adam was in the bank. So let's say there was not, how would he have felt if the pod hadn't reacted to him at all?

And then there's Snake's scar. In Peace Walker, Snake wears the Boss's scar on his chest. The scar from which Ocelot was born. Sure, it was utilitarian in the context, Snake used it to hide a wire saw, but it was still a powerful symbol. Even in relation to the Boss only, Snake doesn't even talk about it, and it disappears entirely later. It's a damn shame, because it was such a good physical manifestation of the emotional scar she left him... But beyond the cool hiding place for his saw, what was Snake thinking about when making it? From what I've seen, a couple people headcanon that Ocelot helped him with it. I really love that idea, it would've made the whole thing a bit much more interesting.

Ocelot not being in Peace Walker was already a wasted opportunity, but then the mammal pod is brought back in Phantom Pain and we STILL don't get one scene, one line even implying Ocelot had any meaningful contact with it.

THE SORROW AND LIQUID OCELOT

There isn't much about the Sorrow in the main games aside from a tiny cameo in MGS4 in which he ousts the ghost of Psycho Mantis.

However, the Sorrow has another cameo in the MGS2: Bande Dessinée digital graphic novel. There are a few story differences from the game, and one of those is an apparition of the Sorrow alongside Liquid's Snake's ghost. He expresses disappointment in Ocelot: "No son of mine would have allowed this madman (Liquid Snake) to take control of his will. No son of mine would've been so pathetically weak."

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the canonicity of whether or not Ocelot inherited his father's powers and was really possessed by Liquid Snake's ghost via his grafted arm still seems to be up to debate in the fandom (we know Ocelot eventually replaces that arm, and uses a combination of nanomachines and hypnosis to turn himself into Liquid). For what it's worth, in the bande dessinée, he does seem genuinely distressed, but we're so used to Ocelot pretending to be what he's not, it's hard to say if he's faking it somehow. If he wasn't truly being possessed by Liquid, it's possible he had started with the hypnosis already, or had deluded himself somehow into thinking Liquid was possessing him. Either way, the Sorrow showing up is so interesting.

"No son of mine would've been so pathetically weak". This is a truly harsh, heartbreaking thing to say to your child. There's always the possibility that if the possession was real, Liquid could've been manipulating Ocelot and it wasn't the Sorrow at all. It would serve his agenda after all, considering the hate Liquid harbors towards his own "father". We don't know much about the Sorrow as a man. All we know, is that despite not being a part of Ocelot's life, he loved his son enough to die for him. The Boss herself was a tough love (you could make a case for "abusive" if you wanted) kind of substitute mother for Snake, so it's not impossible the Sorrow would have been the same sort of man. If it was really him, we can only conclude the guy was an asshole and that Ocelot was better off not having him in his life. If it was hypnosis or a delusion, then that obviously says more about Ocelot than the Sorrow.

Ocelot being absolutely terrified at the idea of being a disappointment to his father would explain so much about him, about why he goes to such extremes to accomplish his missions. It makes you think, why did he end up like this? When he learned who his mother was, was he also told the story of her killing the Sorrow so that Ocelot's life would be spared? He could've developed survivor's guilt from this, leading him to becoming a bit of an overachiever in a way (I'm sure someone actually qualified in psychology could have a field day with this lol). The MGS4 novel implies that Ocelot saw Big Boss as a father figure (that's another can of worm entirely, personally I think the kiss on the cheek in the game itself -among other things- implies something different, but for the sake of the argument, let's say it's correct), so the lengths he goes to to free him from the Patriots would be another example of Ocelot doing everything he can not to be a disappointment to a parental (or authority) figure. All of that adds another layer to Ocelot that could have been very interesting to delve further into.

THE ABANDONED CHILD

Metal Gear as a series happened because Snake and Zero couldn't get over the death of the Boss and in trying to make her will (or what they interpreted as her will rather) a reality, majorly screwed the pooch.

Ocelot is the Boss's biological son, but that connection doesn't directly affect anything else happening in the game. Ocelot was already working for the US government, Snake could've ended up trusting him because of that. We don't even know if Snake DOES trust him because of Ocelot's affiliation in particular. If you interpret the Boss's will as “let the world be”, then Ocelot (and after that Snake) achieved that by destroying the Patriots. But that happened as a result of Zero's actions, that wasn't Ocelot trying to make the Boss's will a reality. So in the end, Ocelot being the Boss's son ends up being just cool trivia. Kojima could've just removed that codec in MGS3 and it wouldn't have changed much in the grand scheme of things.

Part of the MGS message is that your genes don't dictate your destiny and your choices. I guess you can say that Ocelot not sharing his mother's desire for peace is another example of that message, but it's not satisfying to me because Ocelot doesn't decide to do that. He doesn't purposefully rebel against her, he just keeps doing what he was already doing, what he was taught to do since birth. He does that in Snake's interests, and in the MGSV truth tapes he seems to at least support Snake's idea of a nation of soldiers, but is he just going along with it or did he ever have his personal opinion of what the Boss's will was supposed to be and how HE would've actualized it? We don't really know for sure because despite having so much of the spotlight on him in the games, we're given very few opportunities to get to know the man behind the wild cat.

I used to dislike Ocelot in MGSV because I thought he was out of character and kinda boring. I changed my mind entirely when I saw someone point out that Ocelot on mother base with Snake didn't need to pretend and grandstand. He was as close to his true self as we've ever seen him. Even if Kaz's characterization wasn't there to provide contrast, MGSV depicts a much wiser Ocelot than what we see in Snake Eater. It makes perfect sense that he's got a good, calm head on his shoulders, because to play four-D chess the way he does, you have to be in control of yourself. Even when it comes to his “torture fetish”, the way he talks about it in one of the tapes shows that he's actually humane about it (as humane as torture can be I guess lmao). We also see a softer side to him, with the kids, and with DD. Even maybe some good ol' jealousy towards the fake Big Boss's interest for Quiet. Ocelot is a man perpetually hiding behind masks, but he's not an unfeeling psychopath. Which is why it's so frustrating to me that we're denied even the tiniest glimpse behind the mask when it comes to his parents. A couple more peaks behind the curtain to show his vulnerability and humanity would've made an already great character amazing in my opinion.

When I think about all of this, I have to admit that I low key end up somewhat resenting Snake in a way lol He gets so much character development because of his relationship to the Boss, whereas Ocelot gets basically nothing. Ocelot was not raised by her of course, but he met her, he saw the huge influence she had on Snake. SURELY Ocelot has an opinion or feelings about all of that, right?

Knowing what Snake meant for his mother and vice versa, was he ever envious of Snake's relationship with her? Did Ocelot resent his mother for not telling him who she was when they were finally reunited? Has he ever caught himself wishing she could've told the Philosophers to go fuck themselves, and rescue him from them?

Ocelot himself not having anything to say about his mother sucks, but Snake not having anything to say about it either also sucks. A single scene, a single codec call where they could've talked about their relationship to her would've added SO MUCH to the characterization of both Snake and Ocelot.

So yeah. I actually like that Kojima leaves things up to interpretations, that he doesn't always go for good endings, or even satisfying endings. But he created such fascinating characters, I can't help but think he could've done even more with them...

(If you guys have anything to add, know of information I might not know or missed, or a correction to make, my inbox is always open!)

[sysig]

Heck yeah, Requestober!! Thanks for doing this again, it's always so much fun! I've got two TPoH ideas to choose from if that's alright, whichever you're more in the mood for. Either Dial annoying RGB, as he does, or Dial and Click being an awful chaos duo? Either would be great!

Day 17 - Boundaries, Dial

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[plusultraetc]

426

guys don’t worry dabi will be fine when shigaraki returns somehow with both aspects of overhaul instead of just decay he can use it to heal him and spinner and toga and be the league’s hero also kurogiri is fine

[luvuomi]

goodness i have never felt so seen by a character .. i think im going to enjoy this show a lot ^w^

[theokusgallery]

Since you have a lot of opinions about Sunflower fics, do you have any recommendations :p? I do generally agree with you about the derth of good works on them - kind of hoping for something I've maybe slept on.

Okay, I'll try,

First of all — I want everyone, and I mean everyone to read Coda for a Crestfallen Caitiff by MercuriallyApathetic, who also wrote The Strange Summer of Sunny Whatshisface (still one of my favorite longfics to this day but a lot more lighthearted). Coda is a masterpiece, it makes me insane, it is criminally underrated, I want to inhale its essence, and when I first read it it gave me a panic attack and a mental breakdown that lasted three straight days (/pos). Definitely read the tags and prepare yourself mentally but JESUS CHRIST I need everyone to read it. Please. You will regret it for a few hours but it is... an experience. To me at least. And to the two people I recommended it to who gave me feedback.

Then there's sunflower seeds in the rearview mirror by @andrewwtca which remains probably my favorite multichapter OMORI fic of all time (you might spot my essay-comments in the later chapters, I love this fic so much. I didn't end up writing one for the last chapter but man did it hit me hard). Very intriguing with a captivating style and an unreliable narrator mechanic that I am absolutely in love with. Everything by that author is excellent.

We have, of course, literally everything by BetweenDisorders. Arsenic is partly inspired by one of their fics ! (you know the one.) Their characterization of both Sunny and Basil (but especially Basil, because I'm gay) makes me froth at the mouth. Their style is very recognizable and honestly one of the best I've ever seen. But more generally, they have really original and intriguing ideas (like communication, in which Basil and Sunny are two computers... Did I mention how I'm a sucker for original/unique plots and premises enough yet) and everything they do is something you've never seen before. It's amazing.

Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia is also very, very good. It's a lot lighter, but it still made my gay little heart ache, because I'm a sucker for misunderstandings done correctly (fight me).

Detective Sunny by Det_Sun is genuinely one of the most creative, fascinating OMORI fics I've seen, and also way too underrated. It's an excellent read, and there's a bunch of ideas in it that you know go deeper than what is shown, and it makes my brain go at the speed of light. Many many thoughts about this one. (Side note: I fucking love it when there's unexplored ideas in fics. Makes my brain go brrr. Not everything has to be shown and when I see hints of "behind the scene" thoughts and character background that isn't discussed much but still implied, my brain becomes a feral animal. I don't know if that makes sense...)

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So, I was tagged in a "Top 10 Favorite TV shows" post a little while back, and I've sadly lost it (even though I really wanted to do it!):( And thank you to who tagged me in the post. I think it was @i-love-books-because-reasons? If I ever find the post again, I'll reblog it properly. But for now, I'll just answer it this way. (For some reason, I've decided not to included animes or cartoons, because no one did in their lists. Maybe that will be its own list. Or "younger shows," like Disney channel ones. But if I did, Lizzie McGuire would have made it:))

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series (though I'll be listing them separately) - have become my favorite shows of all-time (though they're also slightly tied with Dark Angel). They're just... so good and perfect, with such good writing and themes, and I could analyze and obsess over them for hours (and have), so of course they're here.

2. Angel the Series (mentioned above). - Though it and Buffy aren't exactly like. They're definitely their own shows and I love them both for different reasons.

3. Dark Angel season 1 - I just really latched onto Dark Angel, and have never been able to let it go... which is funny, because I didn't like it that much in the first few episodes: probably because they really went over my head as a kid. -shrugs- But I love my reluctant, badass heroine Max and how she grows. Speaking of Max? Love of my life. The love story between her and Logan is still one of the best written in all of TV to me. And the relationship between Max and her "siblings"--and just learning about this poor girl created in a lab, who had never even been in a house before when she was nine and things like that--has always spoken to me. The "fight the man" and "protect the downtrodden" plot is also great.

4. Tru Calling - It's thanks to my sister that I discovered this awesome show, and Eliza Dushku. The premise is just so wonderful: Tru having the ability to relive days and save people who died before their time. And whenever the show threw a wrench into the usual formula was fun. Particularly when Jack showed up, who was the opposite of Tru: trying to stop her actions, because he thought she was messing with the natural order of things and there would be disastrous consequences to it. The show was really finding its footing when it was canceled. And what the writers released of their plans for what they were going to do next? I cry that we didn't get to see that. But alas.

Smallville - Baby's first show for teens and up:) I have so many fond memories of discovering Smallville... and rewatching the episodes again and again with friends, and between new seasons. Also, watching new episodes when they aired. I feel like the idea of Smallville was great: tell the story of Superboy growing up on a TV show. It worked so well: and made so many people connect with Clark Kent/Superman, who otherwise might have trouble with it. It developed him and his relationships so well... and we won't talk about how well Lex Luthor was also developed (and played by Michael Rosenbaum): the best part of the show to many people. And how genius it was to have them start out the show as friends only to become the enemies they were fated to be. -sobs- Also, as it's been said, we wouldn't have the Arrowverse if Smallville hadn't come first. So credit where credit is due. And speaking of that, this was the time before the MCU and that sort of thing. So seeing hero cameos on this show was so shocking, new, and the best.

Alias - The first badass female heroine I ever saw on live-action TV--and fell in love with--was Sydney Bristow (aside from Xena: Warrior Princess, that I don't remember that well, because I was, like, five when I was watching Xena). Also my introduction to the wacky world of J.J. Abrams' writing. And as wacky as J.J. Abrams can get, and we all know it, I think he did a good job with Alias, and was pretty nuanced and tame here. There was just enough of his Mystery Box stuff to keep me intrigued, in this interesting spy story that I loved. And Sydney Bristow is seriously the greatest, and deserves the world. And Alias actually has one of the few TV endings that I actually like, for the most part.

Kyle XY - Another show similar to Dark Angel, in that it's about a human made in a lab (though that's a mystery for most of S1). And I really liked this show--and its main family the Tragers. Definitely one of the best things ABC Family ever did... and I'll forever be angry that it ended on a cliffhanger.

Roswell - A TV show about what if aliens did crash in Roswell, and lived among us as half-aliens, half-humans. This show is definitely largely a romance, but there's definitely more to it than just that: with some battles with other aliens, the aliens trying to get home, and stay alive from the government trying to kill them, etc. Maily it's the characters and their various relationships that make this show so great. It's certainly a product of its time, early 90's WB, but I'm nostalgic for it and love it too much. And we wouldn't have a number of shows we do today without it. Liz and Maria also have one of the best female friendships of all time. And this show is another one where I actually like the ending.

The Chosen - A TV show that tells what Jesus' ministry was like through the disciples' PoV. And I can't explain just how well made this show is. Seriously. People who aren't even religious watch it and love it. People have compared its quality to Game of Thrones... err, in a good way (I know that can be considered an insult now, after S8). This is what all Christian media should always attempt to be.

Bonus:

Dollhouse - The idea of this show is really neat (with people who have their memories and personalities wiped, and someone else's placed into them, when they're "bought" to live out someone's fantasy), but also hella problematic... though, granted, it's sort of problematic on purpose to draw attention to these problems in real life, but still. This show also becomes completely different by the end, than how it started out (I actually love this plot twist, and won't spoil it for those who don't know). But sadly, it didn't have too much to delve into this twist before it was canceled. But I do still love this show for what it did, and all the potential it had.

Game of Thrones - I loved this show so much, originally. As most people did. But then it really started going downhill when it ran out of books to adapt. Even before that, though, you could kind of see the cracks, with how they changed Daenerys so much... Or how they changed Robb Stark's marriage plot line from being about honor (like how Ned died) to love, etc. But even so, we still (mostly) have a few really good seasons, at least.

[moonfromearth]

- What's with the hat? - I don't know. Found it in the science lab. Thought it would help.

Day 11 - The Hunter Knows the killer’s weakness and the best way to beat them. The Final Girl typically teams up with them to finally nail the killer. Usually, they’re considered the other final character to survive.

from @windbrook's Slashed Challenge.

[twothpaste]

fick chunk about fuel's not-so-secret project at the new pork ruins, which somehow doubles as a whole-ass character study. (featuring bronson, nana, claus, lucas, and abelle my oc abelle.)

Speakin' of daylight: the noontime shine renders fire far less fearsome.

It flickers from the wick of a tiny index finger. Scarlet diamonds, scarcely greater than a candle's glimmer. How it kisses the ocean. That white-blue horizon line. There's a quaint horror, at the heart of the matter. Knowing even embers like these would - given the chance - reduce houses to ashes. And a quainter comfort, still. Knowing she'd never dare let 'em.

If you ask him 'bout phobias, Fuel ain't got none. Try talkin' to him 'bout "Pee-Tee-Ess-Dee," and he'll kindly decline, arms crossed. "Nah. Nope. N' hell naw, while I'm at it. But thank ya very much, Lucas." That kinda talk's for the twins. N' their forefathers. N' former Pigmasks, maybe some of 'em. His matchstick jitters're just a reflex. His muscles pulled stiff, at the scent of somethin' burning - well, that's 'cause it's a heck of a stinkin' smell. When he wakes up coughing, choking, on smoke that ain't there, it's that sleep apnea shit he's got. Nana diagnosed it. Y'can call her a madwoman, n' he does too, when he's joshin' around. But don't get it backwards. She knows what she's talkin' about.

Likewise, Abelle doesn't mention what's irking her. That she'd definitely be able to muster more than a goshdarn candle. Maybe an antique gas stove. Or a fireplace lighter. If only she'd gotten more than three hours of sleep. It casts a vague orange, ruffling up against the work station's tarped shade. Miscellaneous metal parts reflect only the teeniest glimmers. A wrench here. A dubious hunk of titanium there.

"So. Y'light it with yer mind? Just like that, huh…?" Even after all this time, truth be told, Fuel can still scarcely wrap his head around it.

"Sure do!" Abelle chimes. Before dousing her pride, so as not to be impolite. As the flame wavers, her brow furrows. "It doesn't exactly come natural, though. Gotta focus real hard on it. Helps to think of somethin' warm. I'm thinkin' of s'mores, right now."

"S'mores, huh? Makes sense, I guess. Y'ain't scared of it, or nothin'?"

"Me? Hehe! Naw, I'm never scared!"

"Well, shit! Beg yer pardon!" Fuel leans back, hands raised, donning an amused grin. Has a bite of his peanut butter sandwich, while he's at it. N' mutters the rest with a fist coverin' his mouthful. "I'm only askin' 'cause, ah.. Lucas used to say this psychic stuff was an awful sorta scary. Back when he first started doin' it, I mean."

"Oh, he's told me so, too. It's kinda funny, ain't it? Everyone always says he used to be so skittish. I can't hardly picture it." Abelle's got strawberry jam on hers. N' banana slices, too. She snuffs out the flare, just long enough for a meager nibble.

"Heh. That's fair. Sometimes I can't, neither." Beyond the makeshift awning, out there in the blue, silhouettes mill about the boats. Settin' up chemical filtering equipment, they'd said? Somethin' or other. If he squints, Fuel reckons he can make out Lucas' red-n'-yella plaid. Leading the pack, no doubt. "What if it goes outta control? If the fire gets bigger than y'bargained for, or whatever? That, uh… That ever happen?"

"Mm-mm," Abelle answers. Shakin' her head. "Not really. Not with PK Fire. Sometimes my Shields're too big, if y'can believe it. N' sometimes I start hearin' what other folks're thinkin', n' it's like..? Like I can't turn it off. But, if I'm bein' honest…" Her gaze dips downward, back into the shadows. Scrutinizes the pitiful candle wick, held low in her lap. "M'no good at Psycho-Kinesis. Offensive PSI, Kumatora calls it. The stuff y'can fight with."

"That ain't so bad, is it? Not much to fight about, these days."

"That's what Kumatora n' Lucas're always sayin'. But gosh, have ya seen them spar? They're incredible! N' Claus, too! PK Love, n' Ground, n' Starstorm… It's amazin'. The stuff they can do."

The way the kid's eyes brim with starshine, Fuel can totally imagine her watchin' the Cerulean Beach lightshow. Cheerin' from the sidelines, as Claus and Kumatora hurl fireballs at each other. Makin' the whole goddamn planet Earth shake, like it ain't done since armageddon. Or when Lucas' gaze takes on that otherworldly glow N' shit starts floatin' all around him. Like the very laws of nature were made to be broken, far as he's concerned. Somethin' so gentle n' mild - transfigured into somethin' downright cataclysmic.

Yeah, Fuel's seen 'em spar, alright. It scares the piss outta him.

"But me? I've got none o' that. Too weak for it, I guess." Abelle pinches her fingers together, quashing the flame like a bug. Takes a deep breath. Exhales it all, in one quick burst. "Shoot. Sorry. Didn't mean to go off on a tirade. I prob'ly sound real ungrateful. N' envious, besides."

"Naw, I, ah… I reckon I get where yer comin' from." Fuel shifts his weight, atop the supply crate he's sittin' on. Nurses a half-flat can of Sierra Mist. To clear his throat of that smoggy, cloggy sensation. "Y'just wanna be capable. Protect the folks y'care about. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Be a part of somethin' bigger."

"Yeah…"

"Nothin' wrong with wantin' that." Aluminum crinkles, frail, in his sturdy grasp. "Nothin' wrong at all."

His sandwich disappears down his gullet, during the brief quiet that ensues. Hers remains a work-in-progress. Restless, at seventeen and three months, even lunch breaks are a kind of labor. She shuffles her boots over strewn wires.

"Thank ya, Fuel," Abelle tells him. N' he perks up, and shrugs. Like he's surprised to hear it.

"Me? Naw, thank you. 'Preciate ya showin' me Pee-Kay Fire, at least. Made me feel a little braver. Fer what it's worth."

"Hehe. Aw, jeez. You're welcome, then."

It ain't pyrophobia. She'll take his word for it. But even little miss sunshine can tell there's somethin' he's tryin' to overcome. No matter how quickly he changes lanes.

"Say, y'don't got Thunder? By any chance?"

"Nope. Only Fire. Why?"

"Aw, no reason. Jus' curious."

"Well. I've got a curious question, too, if y'don't mind it. What's all this you're workin' on, in here?"

"Mm?" Fuel's gaze jolts to meet hers, if only for a split second. Dirty fingernails sift along the crate's lid. One foot kicks a heavy-duty screwdriver away, into the lamp-cast shadows. His teeth form a simper. "'Fraid that's a bit of a secret, lil' miss."

The kid's tired eyes turn suddenly sharp. Glancin' past him, at a dimly-lit swath of buttons and dials. Then directly at him. Snagged in a potent stare. Fuel hesitates before speakin' up. Still wearing that dumb grin on his face.

"Wait. Hah. Y'ain't tryin' to read my mind, are ya?"

Abelle stares harder. Takes a deep breath, leaning ever so slightly towards him. Then closes her eyes. As if embroiled in a deep, scrying focus. A chuckle cracks its way through Fuel's constitution. He shakes his head. Clambers to his feet.

"Okay, alright. I'll show ya. But, ah…" One index finger rises, as he drops to a near-whisper. "You'll keep it on the down-low, won'tcha?"

Abelle peeks one eye open. And smiles like a Keebler elf.

"Cross my heart, hope to die!"

-

Yellow paint peels to reveal steel plating. Which, in turn, gives way to scarlet rust. Layin' there in a dilapidated heap, rot notwithstanding, the central console alone prob'ly weighs as much as Abelle herself. Its glass cranium's a lost cause. Shattered n' displaced ages ago. Stiff rods stickin' out the circular chasm up top. Fuel managed to scavenge one lower left limb, mostly intact, from its would-be resting place. The others are a work-in-progress. They litter the workshop, alongside other unfinished Frankensteins. Pull on a pair of inch-thick gloves. A heavy helmet, with a darkened slit for a view. Smothered an apron, like a weighted blanket. She'd tell him he looks silly, if she didn't know better. Absolute spaceman.

He can't tame a bonfire. He can tame a welder. Got a safety checklist in his head. A spark-proof suit of armor. And a forge built of impenetrable battlements.

When Porky took Fuel, he had him puttin' in child labor hours at the goddamn bakery. Workin' dough for desperate dough. Burnin' bread like nobody's business. Absolute wonder he didn't get f-f-f-fired! As merciful a manager as Sweet Caroline was, the role suited her like a square peg to a round hole. N' Fuel, likewise, was a sorry excuse for a baker. Kneading putty, coughin' up flour and oven smog, apron tied too twisty-tight 'round his tree-trunk waist. Like his father before him, the young craftsman's calloused hands have always preferred sturdier fare. If y'ask Fuel, the hop-skip-n'-a-jump from lumber to iron ain't so much of a leap, after all.

Mecha Lions n' Boa Transistors are his bread n' butter out here. Should a stray Rhinocerocket come barrelling through the walkway, on account of a busted fin, Fuel's your guy. He'll whip up a replacement in no time flat. N' never mind the occasional dent that may mar his best bud's steely shins. Chimera repairs're a noble duty, far as he's concerned. One he's proud to uphold.

Robots, though? Most folks hardly consider 'em casualties. If they consider 'em at all.

An uncommon sight - most have long since ceased functioning. Uttered their last garbled beeps, and melded into the wreckage upon which they stand. A slim handful were reprogrammed n' repurposed, back during the first salvage missions. The rest were left to their tombs. Haunted the Harbor for about a decade, crawlin' around the place in various states of zombified dysfunction. You can picture a teenaged Fuel's cringing horror, as a shambling Octobot claimed his leg in a tendril's grasp. Yanked him straight down with a vengeance nastier than any sinkhole. Claus came to his rescue, this time. Made quick work of it. Crowbar's clash. Psionic flash. An ugly scowl marks the spot in his memory.

Y'can picture, too, how that same teenaged Fuel looked down upon the un-creature. One half titanium, one half bronze, sundered roughly down the middle. Circuit-tronics n' whatsits, blasted every which way. Not-brains spilling from its not-head. Its veneer, crisply obliterated, looked not unlike a welding mask. Come to think of it.

Each had a directive, once upon a time. Monitor the perimeter. Exterminate intruders. Serve King Burgers. Whatever. None have the chops for any task, anymore. Too feeble, ineffectual, expendable. Too little, too late. Wrong place n' time. To say robots "want" for anything would be a stretch. But the premise of "purpose" gets Fuel a wee bit misty-eyed.

Sure, it's a silly sentiment. He knows it. "Laugh it up, if ya like," he says. Becomes apparent to Abelle, real quick, that it ain't an illicit sorta secret, but a self-conscious one. Some folks have a righteous penchant for amends. He's got a feckless tendency toward unsung causes.

"Naw, I think it's mighty kind of ya," she replies. Naturally. Abelle's the girl who calls old cars "she," n' pats her PC's tower when it ain't loadin', n' prescribes human feelings to vintage stereos. That said, she'd be lyin' if she claimed her intrigue isn't primarily techno-historical. Eyein' the robot with an eagerness to match his mercy. "What about the wiring? N' the hardware repairs? I know just a lil' bit, myself. Might could help ya fix the processin' unit, if it's still got one."

"That so, Barbie? I'll take ya up on it, if y'mean it. Got Sheep helpin' me with some o' the electronics. Was thinkin' of askin' Claus, but they.. ah…"

They were there, last week, when Fuel pried the leg from the bog. Their spine's no good for heaving, these days. Helped him pull it loose, nevertheless. A mere index finger beckoned a telekinetic tug. N' they'd been all laughs, n' Lifeup, n' pats on the back, after Kerosene was sent tumblin' backwards. The foundry's mechanical menagerie had them whistlin' a different tune, though. Quiet steps, Lucas-esque. Deer in a taxidermy shop. Low glower, set upon Fuel's Lego brick pity projects.

"I don't see what's gotcha so touchy, all of a sudden. Ain't that different from Mecha Lions n' Boa Transistors, is it?"

Claus didn't answer him with the same old scowl. Not quite. Fury is a mask they outgrew ages ago.

Nana told him not to sweat it, over dinner. "Environment's got a profound effect on an animal's nerves. His words, not mine. He won't say so, but I think the Harbor has him a bit on edge. I wouldn't take it personally, if I were you."

"Me? Take shit personally? Hahah. I would never! Jeez, Nana, it's like ya don't even know me."

Fuel's the only one who can get her to roll her eyes with a smile. He loves it when she does that.

… Anyways.

He tells Abelle she ought not mention it to Claus. No sooner than she nods her noggin, Bronson barges in. Here to check up on his apprentice's handiwork, apparently. A wayward elbow knocks that can of Sierra Mist from its cabinet-top perch. "Oh, shoot. I didn't…" The master smith gawks down at his blunder. Only to find the can halfway crushed. And thankfully empty. Not a drop of spillage. He hunches over - pop in his knees - and picks it up. There's a remarkable grace to his hammy fingers. And a klutziness to his cough. ".. Ehm. Sorry." Fuel chuckles. No harm, no foul.

"Gosh, how many folks're in on this, anyways?" Abelle inquires. "Doesn't seem like much of a secret to me."

"The hell do ya mean? It's jus' Bronson, n' Sheep, n' Claus," muffles Fuel, through his helmet. "N' Nana, o' course. N' you. Now. I guess. So, uh. Practically nobody."

The robot's shiny new right leg is immaculate, by the way. Accordin' to Bronson's utmost scrutiny. A nigh mirror image of its leftward double. "I'm tellin' ya, Barlmoro, you've got this down to a science! Dunno what the heck y'need me for, anymore. I'll give ya a hand with the installation, though. Only since ya asked real nice."

"Why thank ya, boss," says Fuel. Who didn't ask at all.

But disaster strikes the master, when he hunkers on down. A sharp pain in his lumbar is swift to knock him right outta commission. Abelle ends up nursin' his woes with Lifeup, while Bronson nurses a root beer. She lends Fuel her lackluster telekinesis, in his stead. An invisible force - only a little shaky - helps him attach both legs, safe and secure, to the central console.

"… This look even to you, boss?" Fuel tosses back. Like a consolation.

Bronson holds up a measuring level, from his seat on the sidelines. Closes one eye. Squints. N' forces a wincing grin.

"Right on, kid."

Couple mornings later, Lucas swings by, in that awfully quiet way he's wont to. Nearly spooks Fuel right outta his skin, when he gets a knock on the wooden entryway frame. He tosses a frantic tarp over the automaton's arms. Raises his soda can, to meet Lucas' coffee jar.

"Ain'tcha doin' chimera transit today? Whatcha need little ol' me for?"

"We're gettin' started now. Thought I'd drop by, while uh. While most folks're preoccupied."

Lucas can't read minds. Besides Claus', at least. Kumatora's, maybe a little. But no one else. He's assured Fuel of it, 'bout ten or eleven times. Still, he finds his stomach sinkin' a little. The way his childhood pal looks right through him.

"Claus mentioned y'were repairin' robots. Told me not to tell anybody. Then, ah… Then Abelle said so, too. Ain't sure if it's still s'posed to be a secret or not."

Right. Of course.

"Heh, well, shit! Y'got me! I know, I know, y'don't gotta tell me, it's real stupid. They ain't livin' things. Don't even got feelin's, n' here I am feelin' sorry for 'em. We oughtta be usin' their parts for scrap, n' chimera repairs, n.. n' if ya need me to, Lucas, I'll stop n' do that instead, honest to god. Didn't mean to be all sketchy about it, I jus'..? Mm?"

Ain't like Lucas to interrupt. He raises his hand, instead. With a real pitiful blast of his overcast sky eyes.

"Err. Sorry. Go ahead," says Fuel.

"Don't worry 'bout it. S'alright. I just wanted to offer, um.. I mean. I can't work metal, or electronics, or do none o' that programmin' stuff. But. If y'ever need a jolt? Y'know, like, to jump-start somethin'?"

Lucas flashes him a thumbs-up. A teeny spark of PK Thunder dances from his fingertip.

"Lemme know. Anytime."

He watches, over a meek sip of coffee. While Fuel's pensive panic melts away like marshmallow goop.

"Ha.. haha! Phew, fuck, man! Thank ya, Lucas!! I mean it. Thank ya...!"

[malachitezmeyka]

Naming OCs actually sucks so much sometimes, especially when the creators of the source material have no fucking idea which culture they’re drawing from

[mochuelovelli]

IMO, one of the biggest reasons why Watcher the youtube channel has had a steady decline in viewership and channel growth is because the shows they shoot now are too overproduced.

YouTube prioritizes frequent (mid to long form) uploads. Thats something they can't sustain with their current model and going (nearly as of rn) all in on a model that will shrink your viewer base is nuts. I don't understand why their focus prior to making a whole streaming service (or even better, pitching themselves to an established one), they didn't build on their merch sails, collaborations, and building a stronger audience connection to someone that isn't just shane or ryan (or even steven).

I can't think of why they'd risk doing this unless they felt like they were in some sort of sink or swim moment that called for big change. And Like, in concept, I don't blame them. They haven't made it easy for themselves. I do hope they can find future success on another streaming platform, but once they fix these fundamental issues.

"Omg y'all are babies who don't realize that they need to make money and just feel entitled to free art!"

First of all I think most Watcher fans will agree that nobody asked for "TV quality" content. In fact I personally find most of their new shows to be extremely overproduced compared to their Buzzfeed era videos, which were backed by an actual big company. So them blowing their budget on new staff and fancy sets is something few people asked for.

"But this is their art and their company and they're allowed to make it however they want, they can't just constantly make their old stuff to retain an audience!"

I mean, yeah, if this is what they want to keep making, more power to them! But people are not obligated to 1) enjoy it and 2) pay for it. Audiences will fluctuate. Look at the Try Guys and how much their stuff has changed while still being successful. So maybe they'll get a new audience that is willing to pay for the stuff they want to make. But it's perfectly understandable for a large portion of their old fans to leave. Cuz yeah. If you wanna say "um this is capitalism sweaty" then yeah, I'll agree with you. This is capitalism. And I have better things to spend money on. I am not entitled to their art, and they are not entitled to my money. If they stop making stuff I like and have access to, I will stop watching. Taste closed.