#or i could make it myself with a better cord. doesn't seem hard considering the beads they ALL use are literally on etsy

[dontwanderoff]

was looking at cute teacher lanyards on etsy and im like, 98% sure this one seller is a teacher at my school

[saviinika]

Just a boy standing in front of a boy

Last WIP wednesday before @codywanweek and I'm eeeeeeeeee with excitement. The clip is from a hurt/comfort fic; Cody is hurt, and Obi-Wan is leaving him voice journals so he doesn't feel like he's missed anything while in the bacta tank. Because that's what totally platonic colleagues humans do for one another.

---

“Is now a good time to tell you that as a result of my year with the Duchess during my Padawan days, Iam fluent in Mando’a? I suppose better late than never, really. I apologize for deceiving you and your brothers for so long, or making it seem like there was a necessity for private conversations around me. It was certainly never my intent; it just never seemed like a good time to tell you, especially when many of the topics of discussion were clearly not meant for my ears. I can’t say I blame you for the cold shoulder you gave both her and I during our whole escort fiasco evading Death Watch. I should have been more open about my pre-existing relationship with her. Hmm. That’s not the right phrasing. ‘Historical relationship’, perhaps. And yes, though she did say she loved me, and at one time I thought I had loved her, I would have been miserable had I stayed with her like I wanted when I was eighteen. You make my life so much brighter, my dear. I don’t think I would be a very likeable man had we never met.”

“You know, I did like Boil’s treatise on why all Jedi should have retractible cords around their wrists to better keep track of their lightsabers. I’ll be honest, for all my repeatedly reminding Anakin and Ahsoka to hold onto theirs, I think mine has decided to run away on purpose because it likes you, darling. There’s certainly no other logical reason why I lose it so often or why it always makes its way into your hands. Kyber crystal, which makes up the heart of every Jedi’s saber, is a Force-sensitive material and as such, exceedingly rare. Jedi do not choose the crystal that powers their sabers; the crystal, or crystals, choose them. And mineseems to have chosen you too. Forgive my chuckle, it’s just that every time you return it, my crystal is humming the most pleasing song. So you see, I’m afraid the evidence is strongly in your favour. Perhaps I should consider letting you train with it. You’re brilliant, and eminently capable, so basic Soresu wouldn’t be hard to pass on. If you’re going to keep finding it, you might as well be able to wield it effectively in your own defence.”

“There’s some sort of commotion happening with Rex and your Clone Force 99. You really will have to tell me the story some day of how you managed to ensure the loyalty of those four vode. They seem so far removed from your preferred method of warfare, although honestly, you did have to get your penchant for taking on BD-1s with your fists from somewhere. Anyway, Anakin is leaving with them shortly and Kix did let me go to bid them farewell under Mace’s heavy-handed supervision. To my surprise, he commented that I was looking rested and better fed. I suppose if the Master of the Order could tell that I was wearing myself too thinly, perhaps I wasn’t doing as good a job at muddling through as I thought. Oh, Helix is here now and he wants you to know that he scoffed at me for saying that. He also says that he finds these voice notes I’m making for you ador— No, I am not telling him that. Sorry for being overly familiar there, my dear. It’s hard to do this with an audience.”

[als145]

Alrightyyy everyone! Today is the second SCI post of this month

-to give everyone fair warning on the decrepit jokes I'm about to drop, I wanted to say this is funny to me, and in fact, I like writing horrendous thoughts on my body/my view. I'm not expecting you to laugh and cackle at the jokes I may or may not crack during this post but I do expect you to read this as most of it is educational. Alright now on to the post.

It's September 7th, meaning it is my second post of this month. Many people are probably thinking of God. This will be another lengthy post, and yes, they are absolutely right, but the main reason why I want to spread awareness of this is because it is a big thing! It is Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Month! This means those of us who are in the SCI community get a whole month to celebrate our worth and look back on all the things we have overcome.

The main thing I want to talk about is our bodies. And many people are wondering why. Everyone's body is different and beautiful, and yes, absolutely everyone is beautiful, but I at least want to remark on what a spinal cord injury could do to our body, specifically mine, as I can handle criticism and like my unseen jokes about my body. (Please don't take this as criticism)

When you look at me you may see the limp shriveled little ball that I am. My arms are twigs, my hands are like the claws of a dinosaur, and my shoulders/my back dare to follow the six feet-distancing rule (Whoa! Was that too much? I'll stop), but you might just see an Atrophied ball of mess. And there's nothing wrong with that, let me explain.

As a tiny child, I always looked different than my regular peers my knees would bend inward because of my cerebral palsy and I would have to use different medical equipment to get around the classroom while my other peers would be able to now I wouldn't bash them but I would look at myself worth and myself differently which was not a good look considering disabled people can live a wonderful happy life. It got so bad at 13 years old that I tried my first out of two suicidal attempts. My second one was at the age of 15. It took such a toll on my mental health on how and what I looked like in other people's eyes but when I got my coma or my injury my body had completely changed my wrist atrophied to a point of no recovery my knees were nowhere near normal and my back had curved so bad because of scoliosis and because of that I needed a spinal fusion at 35 years old to repair the damage and my body strength plummeted to almost nothing. Obviously, this is my new normal now, and it doesn't affect me as much as it did.

But I or we must talk about the vast changes a spinal cord injury can have on your body. I'll share an example: one of my friends who was formally able-bodied was recently injured on October 24th, 2023, and this had a major effect on his body and his mindset. Let me explain. Donny formally was a Wrestler and a bodybuilder. during his 56-day coma, his muscles suffered a lot of atrophy. He had many surgeries to try and repair what he had lost, he has many scars from what the damage had done to him, and he's still trying every day to work hard and regain something! And he is almost 1 year in.

This goes to show that people's body changes with a SCI, although it may seem hard, and it will be hard. But it is important that you love your body and work with what you have. I wanted to talk about this because it was really hard for me to accept my body and what I have been through but I have accepted it and often make humorous jokes about my body since that's my way of coping.

Many people will have a difficult time accepting this new normal, but I promise you it will get better, and you will work yourself into your new *still just as fabulous* body. Go out and stroll through the world. Keep your head up. And most importantly don't give up. Repeat after me, don't give up.

And with that, this concludes the second SCI awareness post of this month. Thanks for reading!

Img desc #1: doc is seen laying on the bed as her precious ribs poke through her severely Atrophied chest her precious dainty arms lay across her chest as she gives a soft smile towards the camera.

Img desc #2: doc is seen in a gymnasium. She is seen smiling while wearing a white hat and a white short-sleeved t-shirt with a pair of white and blue striped shorts.

Img desc #3: doc is seen smiling towards the camera. She is seen in a blue tuxedo. There is a brown wall behind her with many white flowers. Doc is seen beaming with joy on her wedding day!

Img desc #4: doc's body is seen laid out on the bed. Her precious atrophied chest is covered up with a black short-sleeved shirt, her tiny dainty wilted legs are covered up with beige-colored shorts, and her floppy, weak neck muscles and head are supported by the beautiful white puffy pillow.

Img desc #5: doc is seen laying on a bed. Her arms are seen laid out over her chest (she has no shirt on). Her Atrophied legs are covered up with grey jeans that have a black Sharpie mark (they were making DIY shorts for Doc).

Img desc #6: doc's sweet bod is seen lying on a bed her Atrophied chest is covered up by a white short-sleeved shirt with a design that's covered up by Doc's delicate dainty atrophied arms her lifeless as it could get Atrophied twigs (legs) are covered up by delicate brown/grey shorts.

Img desc #7: doc's dainty Atrophied arms are crossed over one another resting upon her lap with a black hair bow around her atrophied wrists (please ignore Doc's horribly sunburnt arms)

Img desc #8: doc is seen smiling as her chair is turned horizontally away from the camera her dainty Atrophied arms rest on a blunt blue pillow she is seen wearing a grey short-sleeved shirt and grey sweatpants and white socks under her atrophied legs and feet rest on top of a black pillow with white designs behind doc's floppy weak neck is a large brown pillow. On her face is her black glasses.

[smalife1234]

Alrightyyy everyone! Today is the second SCI post of this month

-to give everyone fair warning on the decrepit jokes I'm about to drop, I wanted to say this is funny to me, and in fact, I like writing horrendous thoughts on my body/my view. I'm not expecting you to laugh and cackle at the jokes I may or may not crack during this post but I do expect you to read this as most of it is educational. Alright now on to the post.

It's September 7th, meaning it is my second post of this month. Many people are probably thinking of God. This will be another lengthy post, and yes, they are absolutely right, but the main reason why I want to spread awareness of this is because it is a big thing! It is Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Month! This means those of us who are in the SCI community get a whole month to celebrate our worth and look back on all the things we have overcome.

The main thing I want to talk about is our bodies. And many people are wondering why. Everyone's body is different and beautiful, and yes, absolutely everyone is beautiful, but I at least want to remark on what a spinal cord injury could do to our body, specifically mine, as I can handle criticism and like my unseen jokes about my body. (Please don't take this as criticism)

When you look at me you may see the limp shriveled little ball that I am. My arms are twigs, my hands are like the claws of a dinosaur, and my shoulders/my back dare to follow the six feet-distancing rule (Whoa! Was that too much? I'll stop), but you might just see an Atrophied ball of mess. And there's nothing wrong with that, let me explain.

As a tiny child, I always looked different than my regular peers my knees would bend inward because of my cerebral palsy and I would have to use different medical equipment to get around the classroom while my other peers would be able to now I wouldn't bash them but I would look at myself worth and myself differently which was not a good look considering disabled people can live a wonderful happy life. It got so bad at 13 years old that I tried my first out of two suicidal attempts. My second one was at the age of 15. It took such a toll on my mental health on how and what I looked like in other people's eyes but when I got my coma or my injury my body had completely changed my wrist atrophied to a point of no recovery my knees were nowhere near normal and my back had curved so bad because of scoliosis and because of that I needed a spinal fusion at 35 years old to repair the damage and my body strength plummeted to almost nothing. Obviously, this is my new normal now, and it doesn't affect me as much as it did.

But I or we must talk about the vast changes a spinal cord injury can have on your body. I'll share an example: one of my friends who was formally able-bodied was recently injured on October 24th, 2023, and this had a major effect on his body and his mindset. Let me explain. Donny formally was a Wrestler and a bodybuilder. during his 56-day coma, his muscles suffered a lot of atrophy. He had many surgeries to try and repair what he had lost, he has many scars from what the damage had done to him, and he's still trying every day to work hard and regain something! And he is almost 1 year in.

This goes to show that people's body changes with a SCI, although it may seem hard, and it will be hard. But it is important that you love your body and work with what you have. I wanted to talk about this because it was really hard for me to accept my body and what I have been through but I have accepted it and often make humorous jokes about my body since that's my way of coping.

Many people will have a difficult time accepting this new normal, but I promise you it will get better, and you will work yourself into your new *still just as fabulous* body. Go out and stroll through the world. Keep your head up. And most importantly don't give up. Repeat after me, don't give up.

And with that, this concludes the second SCI awareness post of this month. Thanks for reading!

Img desc #1: doc is seen laying on the bed as her precious ribs poke through her severely Atrophied chest her precious dainty arms lay across her chest as she gives a soft smile towards the camera.

Img desc #2: doc is seen in a gymnasium. She is seen smiling while wearing a white hat and a white short-sleeved t-shirt with a pair of white and blue striped shorts.

Img desc #3: doc is seen smiling towards the camera. She is seen in a blue tuxedo. There is a brown wall behind her with many white flowers. Doc is seen beaming with joy on her wedding day!

Img desc #4: doc's body is seen laid out on the bed. Her precious atrophied chest is covered up with a black short-sleeved shirt, her tiny dainty wilted legs are covered up with beige-colored shorts, and her floppy, weak neck muscles and head are supported by the beautiful white puffy pillow.

Img desc #5: doc is seen laying on a bed. Her arms are seen laid out over her chest (she has no shirt on). Her Atrophied legs are covered up with grey jeans that have a black Sharpie mark (they were making DIY shorts for Doc).

Img desc #6: doc's sweet bod is seen lying on a bed her Atrophied chest is covered up by a white short-sleeved shirt with a design that's covered up by Doc's delicate dainty atrophied arms her lifeless as it could get Atrophied twigs (legs) are covered up by delicate brown/grey shorts.

Img desc #7: doc's dainty Atrophied arms are crossed over one another resting upon her lap with a black hair bow around her atrophied wrists (please ignore Doc's horribly sunburnt arms)

Img desc #8: doc is seen smiling as her chair is turned horizontally away from the camera her dainty Atrophied arms rest on a blunt blue pillow she is seen wearing a grey short-sleeved shirt and grey sweatpants and white socks under her atrophied legs and feet rest on top of a black pillow with white designs behind doc's floppy weak neck is a large brown pillow. On her face is her black glasses.

[aghostwithnoname]

TLDR: It's OK to take meds if you need them.

TW: Much discussion of struggles with mental and physical health, suicidal ideation, ableism, etc.

Unsure if this is relevant to anyone BUT I was thinking a lot about how lately I've noticed an uptick in songs, posts, blogs, etc. criticizing the use of medicine to treat mental disorders. Related to this, I also used to think 'alternative medicine' was just some harmless BS to shill useless and unethically sourced rocks -- now I feel like MOST of it is some scary cult shit that prevents people from getting actual fucking help and needs to be interrogated and regulated.

As someone who has struggled with my mental and physical health for decades, this trend against so-called "traditional medicine" is concerning to me for several reasons. DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying meditation, tai chi, yoga, etc. are at fault. These are cultural and spiritual practices developed by communities of colour that have a long history that should be respected, and they can certainly help some folks! I'm more concerned about the predominantly White people selling crystals to "cure your depression" or who say "cutting cords is going to free you from your PTSD", etc.

For so many years, I had been scared off of seeking out medical therapy because other people had told me "It's just about reframing your thinking," or "Big Pharma is just trying to sell you on drugs that will make you worse!" or "Your mental disorder is actually what empowers you/makes you creative/etc. and the meds will destroy that!" This sort of toxic "positivity" and misinformed distrust of medical science was even said in supposedly disabled-inclusive spaces and was incredibly damaging. I also worried that any time I considered the possibility of taking meds, this would be considered "drug-seeking" behavior, and doctors would deny me regardless. But here's the thing:

If you need to take meds or ask for meds, you can. It's not a bad thing. You are not denying "your true self" or whatever. You are not "lazy" or a bad person for "relying" on medication to feel better.

I get it that meds don't work for everyone, can make people feel worse, etc. Sometimes, it's a very long struggle to finding out what works for you -- and there's a lot of disappointment along the way when something doesn't work out. We all are different in how we respond to certain therapies and drugs. That's really what the term "neurodivergence" is meant to capture -- that everyone's brain chemistry and mental makeup is different -- and not all of it deserves to be pathologised. And I do agree, not all pharmaceutical companies are ethical in how they approach the creation and distribution of medicine -- look no further than the opioid crisis for evidence of that.

But when medicine is scientifically proven to be effective, is necessary, and *does* work for you -- gods, it's indescribable. For me, it really was a new lease on life. I finally was able to be wholly myself -- after living more than half my life in a dark, horrifying place -- though to everyone around me, I seemed to be doing fucking awesome. After meds, I finally was able to look in the mirror and tell myself I was good, deserving, intelligent, and caring without it being a blatant lie. I no longer thought about death constantly, or obsessed about my abuse and trauma.

Until then, I had forgotten how much my joy was just as much a part of me as my pain was. I think back to that endlessly scared, suicidal little kid and how much life they missed out on because they felt ashamed for seeking medicine that they desperately needed.

It's not that I wasn't trying hard enough to "redirect thoughts" or accept my brain for "what it was". I toughed it out until I couldn't. I punished myself for so many years seeking help in all the wrong places. I pushed myself until life broke me again -- and I could not put myself back together on my own.

There was so much guilt attached to me finally seeking out a prescription, until I reframed the conversation. "Hey, ghost, you also have a chronic illness that you need to take meds for -- so why are you so afraid of taking meds for your mental disorder when it would help? This is an option for a better quality of life that is accessible to you -- why the hell are you punishing yourself for wanting to use it?" The answer: Internalised ableism, baby! I mistakenly thought I was beyond that kind of thinking -- I wasn't.

I then thought back to all the time doctors and medical staff had failed to listen to my concerns when I was suffering from my chronic physical illness even AFTER I was positively diagnosed. One doctor had even purposefully set my dosage too low to actually address my condition and proceeded to "compliment" me on my unplanned weight loss. I didn't find out until years later from an actually good and empathetic doctor that I needed a dose 5x higher. 5x higher, people! That's not a mistake -- that's negligence and medical abuse outright.

When confronted with your physical and/or mental disability, for some weird reason, people will try to force you not to seek medical help and keep you suffering. That's fucking horrifying, especially when it's the people you are trying to seek help from.

Despite all this, I'm glad I fought the healthcare system, societal perceptions, and my own internalised ableism to advocate for what I needed. Even though it was scary, tiring, and years in the making, I finally found a good PCP and psychologist. I relied a lot on family and friends who understood my conditions for support. Now, thanks entirely to being on the RIGHT meds and correct dosage for both my physical and mental illnesses, it's like I'm a new person -- it sounds so cliché but it's true.

Does the dark side of my mind still come out some times? Sure. But I can turn away from it now and focus on the present and the people and things I cherish. I'm finally back to the person I was before the world tried to crush me. I can look at life again with the happiness and hope I had as a child, like I'm reaching back in time and holding their hand as they excitedly show me all the parts of myself I've been missing out on for the past twenty years.

This is why medical therapy should be accessible to EVERYONE, and people should not be shamed by their community or their healthcare providers for seeking out that option when it is available to them. FULL STOP.

Either way, if you're Going Through It, to quote my fav girl Karlach, thanks for listening, for existing. Love you.