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#or maybe i just need a diy lobotomy
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hey alexa, play “bodys” by car seat headrest
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lesbianlotties · 1 year
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Yellowjackets' The Locked Tomb AU:
more thoughts at the end. very much spoilers for the locked tomb
The Ninth House Necromancer: Lottie Cavalier: Natalie
The Second House Necromancer: Mari Cavalier: Akilah
The Third House Necromancers: Jackie & Shauna Cavalier: Jeff
The Fourth House Necromancer: Gen Cavalier: Melissa
The Fifth House Necromancer: Laura Lee Cavalier: Coach Scott
The Sixth House Necromancer: Taissa Cavalier: Van
The Seventh House Necromancer: Misty Cavalier: Crystal
The Eight House Necromancer: Travis Cavalier: Javi
The Ninth House: Lottie and Natalie as enemies to lovers (enemies to i'll get a diy lobotomy for you). What if Lottie was goth, and a nun, and a lesbian (she already is), and a very powerful necromancer, and also the result of mass genocide? What if Natalie had nothing but aviator sunglasses, a cool ass sword, porn magazines, and her profound hatred (and even deeper devotion) for Lottie? Lottie has visions, Nat just wants to escape her hometown, Lottie makes bone marrow soup, everyone is into Nat, Lottie is constantly bleeding, childhood enemies to only we can stop Misty Quigley
The Second House: i'm going to be honest, i don't have a lot for this one, but hey they are an inseparable duo, kinda gay, and Mari's self-righteous ass having an extremely tragic fate (pit girl hello) seems good enough to me!
The Third House: i feel very strongly about this one!!! twins or not. Jackie and Shauna's codependent relationship would nicely match the Tridentarious dynamic!!! eat her ear, eat her soul, you know? the misconception that Shauna was living under Jackie's shadow when all this time Shauna was the real necromancer hello??? And Jeff just being there... nobody cares about Jeff.
The Fourth House: listen. they're just kids. they die too soon. they were having fun. i needed more characters alright??
The Fifth House: maybe a lesbian and a gay man can be a wholesome marriage you know? no no but seriously. they are not married, they are besties, they are kind, they would invite everyone to dinner, and Laura Lee's ghost would save Lottie from dying at some point!!!
The Six House: also feeling good about this one! I mean, just picture Tai saying "Van... Go Loud." insane!!!! and of course they would be besties with the 9th. and of course Tai would be the smartest one around and she knows it. also!! who else is going to get their souls merged together huh??? look me in the eye and tell me Van wouldn't choose the name Paul. you can't
The Seventh House: this one!! Misty as Cytherea!! she's small and frail and dying and actually!! she's going to kill all of you <33 also Crystal acting a little too happy? even though her eyes look so dead? yeah there's a reason for that!!
The Eight House: i'm going to be honest with you guys here. i ran out of characters. apologies to Javi.
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twomuchdann · 1 year
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Downside to learning in therapy that I'm allowed to cry is that now it happens all the time and for the smallest mist insignificant reasons
I'm hoping maybe my brain is just making up for lost time or something
Today i cried bc of a cute video of a puppy giving a piece of bread to rescuers
Whyyyyyy
Anyways i need a diy lobotomy that'd fix me
My heart is just completely directly attached to my tearducts now
I understand Melanie Martinez more than ever (silly
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lavieendonna · 6 years
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Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum AU (Chapter 28)
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Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA -  makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the semester learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.
Date: 19 February 2019 Requested: no one cares    Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 3.7K Warnings: Polly. That’s it, that’s the warning. A/N:  I can’t put into words how proud I am that I’ve managed to pump out two chapters in the last, what, four days? And I’m even more excited that I can finally see the end and say that there is literally only two chapters left. I can’t wait for you guys to read the rest, and when it’s done make sure to head over and check out the Ashton spin-off ‘Snapshot’ and let me know what you think. Please let me know if you still like this story/series - thank you to everyone who still shows me love and support!
Big Love xo
Ask | Masterlist | ‘Brushwork’ Spotify Playlist | Next Chapter | ‘Brushwork’ News | ‘Snapshot’
Chapter 28: It Was A Miracle My Nose Hadn’t Been Lodged into My Brain in Some Gruesome DIY Lobotomy
The first things I noticed when I walked into the apartment were the boxes. There weren’t many, maybe three stacked in the middle of the living area where the coffee table should have been. Naturally, the next thing I noticed was that the coffee table was missing, along with the cabinet that was intended for the TV (which was now sitting on the floor). The books and DVDs and other knick-knacks that should have been in the cabinet drawers and on the shelves were on the floor too, and when I looked into the kitchenette there was also an empty space where the microwave should have been.
“Polly?” I called into the room with an arched brow and concern. “Pol, are you here?”
I dumped my stuff in front of the door after I closed it behind me, already craning my neck to see if I could see Polly inside her room. A flash of black passed in front of her door confirmed that she was, though a sinking feeling in my gut had me worrying about what was going on.
I wandered over to her doorway and stood inside, knocking lightly on the open door.
“Hey…”  I greeted cautiously, watching the older girl turn away from where she was searching the empty closet. “What’s, um… what’s going on?”
Polly straightened up and shifted her weight awkwardly from foot to foot as she looked at me almost sheepishly. She looked nice, pretty much like herself again. Her hair was silky and smooth, framing her face elegantly and making her eyes pop. She wore a simple black singlet top that hugged her every curve, the same way her high-waisted jeans did. The only thing that was different was the fact that she was wearing a pair of floral Vans as opposed to ballet flats or wedges.
“I, um,” Polly cleared her throat before she stiffened a little bit and offered me a small smile through pursed lips. “I’m moving out.”
Even though it was painstakingly obvious, I still made a face.
“Like… moving to a different apartment, moving out?” I asked dumbly. “Or moving out of student residence, moving out?”
The smile Polly gave me after that question was pitying and sad.
“Moving out of the state, moving out.” She said quietly. “Dallas, I’m going back to Brisbane.”
I’d seen this coming for a while now, ever since Ashton had burst in with the initial rumours. But nonetheless it still hurt to hear the words out loud.
"Why?" I had to ask. "What... what about our plans? For honours?"
Polly took a deep breath, sitting own on the bed and glancing around her now empty room. It didn't look like her room anymore, not with all of her stuff missing. And despite the fact that Polly looked very sure of this decision, the way she was looking around the room made it seem like she was thinking something along the same lines.
"Look, Dallas... I know that we promised to stick together 'til the end and that we were going to finish this together."
"...but?" I prompted when Polly paused. She didn't really look hesitant at all, she just looked like she was still walking on eggshells; like she was still kind of afraid to say what she really felt in case I took it the wrong way. My forehead creased deeply as I frowned. "There sounds like there's a 'but' there."
Polly snorted gently (which I didn't even know was possible, to be frank, but I did what I could to ignore it), shooting me a knowing look.
"There's two here, technically." She teased and I rolled my eyes, adjusting my weight against the doorframe.
"You know what I mean." I said and Polly just sighed again. She pursed her lips, fiddling with the rings on her fingers.
"But," She finally looked back at me and even without her reasoning, I knew that there was no way this conversation was going to end with her agreeing to stay. "I don't think I really belong at VCA anymore."
I blinked back the shock at Polly's confession and I was left standing there gaping like a fish.
"What!?" I practically squeaked out as I rushed over to Polly's side, sitting down next to her on the bed. "How could you say that? Of course you belong here!" Polly shook her head, scrunching her nose.
"That's the thing, D," She said. "I don't. Yes, these last three years here have been amazing, and I have you to thank for a lot of that. But after all this shit we've been through, I feel like I've... I've done all I can do here."
"P, I don't understand." I frowned. "What about... what about your friends?" I bit my lip trying not to let it tremble. "What about me?"
Polly wiped at a tear that trickled from her eye, and it took me by surprise because she didn't look like she was supposed to be crying. She looked sad, sure, but she still looked like she’d finally found something that was going to hold her all together.
"Dallas, we're always going to be friends," Polly said, taking my hand in one of hers. "But I think we both know that after the last few weeks, some space is probably the best thing for us."
I couldn’t help my own tears now, though I did my best to mimic Polly and squared my shoulders as much as I could and choked down the urge to sob. This was so messed up, and I didn’t know how to fix it or how to stop feeling like I’d driven her away. I think I knew deep down that Polly was right, because if we carried on into our honours year together as we’d planned, then there was probably just more of this shit waiting for us.
But I wasn’t ready to admit that yet – besides Polly and my sister, I wasn’t sure who I had left. I wasn’t exactly the friend-making type. The last time I tried to make friends my nose ended up broken at least three times on three separate occasions and practically all of them were directly related to me putting in more effort to be liked than usual.  It was a miracle my nose hadn’t been lodged into my brain in some gruesome DIY lobotomy.
“What am I supposed to do without you, P?” I asked her fearfully and wide-eyed, not for the first time either. Polly let go of my hand so she could wipe at her eyes again before she looked at me carefully and shrugged.
“Be on your own,” she said, brows slightly raised so that I would know that it wasn’t so much of a suggestion but an instruction. “Make some new friends, start a new List – just… be your own person, D. Be someone who can stand up and make her own decisions.”
I sniffled pathetically, wiping at my nose on the back of my sleeve.
“But I need you.”
It was my last line, and it was also a lie. Not in the strict sense that I didn’t need Polly at all, just in the way that I didn’t need her the way I was implying. Polly, as per usual, was right. Her moving away could only be a good thing – for the both of us. This was going to be my chance to start new and really live. I would never get that chance so long as Polly was still around. And it wasn’t her fault, it was just a habit. And my habit was selfish and addictive and Polly moving back to Brisbane was the detox I needed.
“No, you don’t,” Polly shrugged again, shaking her head. “Not like that. D, like I said, we’re always going to be friends. But I…” She took another deep breath and stared off into the room as if we were on a pier and there was a slight breeze to blow her hair away from her face dramatically so she’d look like a painting of a mermaid at sunset. “This is for me, too. I’m… I’m not okay, and I think that moving back home and getting back to my roots will be good for me. I just need to find myself again, you know?”
Polly was always one for the dramatic, but this was the first time in a long time where I felt like the drama was warranted. Polly hadn’t been okay for a long time, and although that wasn’t exactly anything to celebrate, it did make me feel better knowing that I wasn’t the only reason she’d decided to move. I hadn’t driven her away, not completely. And that was a big enough of a win for me.
I heaved a sigh but nodded in understanding, taking a moment for the last of the shock to sink in.
“If you feel like that’s the right thing to do, then I won’t stop you.” I said carefully, looking up to her and offering a small smile. “I just want you to be happy, P.”
“Thanks, Dal.” She said, nudging me in the shoulder. “I want the same for you. Which is why,” she straightened up and turned a little so she was facing me more face on. “You need to make things right with Calum.”
I rolled my eyes but at this point it was just a reflex.
“Why does everyone think I need to make things right with Calum?!” I practically whined and Polly just gave me a sidelong, unimpressed look.
“Because you do, idiot.” She shot. “You’ve managed to fix things with me, your sister and your mother, but you’re still miserable because you still aren’t talking to Calum. Yeah, it sucks what happened, but it’s even worse watching you put yourself through this torture. Both of you.”
It was my turn to make a face.
“Calum is not torturing himself over me.” I said, almost with disgust. Polly shot me a challenging look.
“You wanna bet?” She tested and I piped down. “Dallas, I get that you’re scared or whatever. But this is not the time to quit, not on Calum.”
“How do you know that?” I asked timidly. “How do you know that I won’t screw it up again?”
Polly paused, and for a split second I thought that she would be mad. I didn’t mean to sound like a broken record but screwing up with Calum (again) was genuinely one of my greatest fears at this point in time. It was right up there with the Siamese Cats from Lady and the Tramp, the sting ray that killed Steve Irwin and the Ghost Stool.  
“Dallas you can’t live your life scared to screw up.” Polly said, almost as if she was scolding me. “We’re in our twenties! We’re supposed to screw up, it’s what our twenties are for. But what makes it all less terrifying is having somebody there beside you to help pull you through it, and even though I can’t be that for you anymore, you have a really great guy who wants to try. But D...”  Polly’s eyes widened and she was practically pleading with me now. “Calum can’t be there for you if you don’t let him. And even if you don’t want him to be, he at least deserves an apology or some kind of explanation.”
I nodded, speechless. Polly’s monologue just now was just a repeat of everything everyone had been telling me since before the Showcase, but for some reason this was the first time I’d really heard what they were saying – or, at least, this was the first time it’d clicked that Calum needed an apology no matter what I decided. The thing that had freaked me out about all of this wasn’t just what would happen after all of this, it was also making that leap of faith to begin with and just talking to him. Because it was all well and good to think about what would happen if this, by some miracle, got resolved. It was another thing to think that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore in the first place.
“You got this, D.” Polly said after a few moments of quiet fell between us as she let me soak in what was probably the last life lesson she had to offer me. I looked up to green eyes and she smiled softly but with encouragement, and I smiled back leaning into her so we could wrap ourselves into one another in a tight hug.
“You too, P.” I whispered into her shoulder and Polly squeezed me close.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” She said back and I laughed.
“Who me? Never.”
“I mean it.” Polly warned, pulling back to look me sternly in the eye. “I won’t be here to force you to meet the neighbours again.”
I rolled my eyes and punched the girl lightly in the arm before I got up from the bed.
“Whatever.” Was my only response before we filed out of the room and picked up the last of her boxes.  
It only took a few more minutes for me to help Polly take the last of her things to the rental car she’d hired and parked downstairs. It was a Honda HRV, and when I first looked at it I didn’t think we’d fit any more stuff in it. Even through the back window it looked like the entire vehicle was filled to the brim with boxes and bags and there were pillows stuffed into any crevice they could fit. But Polly insisted there was still room and sure enough when she opened one of the passenger doors and rearranged a few things like some kind of Tetris ninja, the boxes slid in almost perfectly.
I thought I’d have a bit more time with her, what with all of the End-Of-Year parties she usually went to coming up. But Polly was adamant on leaving as soon as she could so, until she found a reason to come back to Melbourne, this was our last goodbye. She refused to let me cry any more, though, which was to be expected. She expertly punched me in each boob until I pulled myself together enough to die from a punctured lung (or two), and we laughed all through that final hug.
“Drive safe.” I whispered in her ear.
“I’ll text you when I get there.”
I stood out on the street until I couldn’t see the Honda anymore, and I felt like I should have been feeling a little bit empty. Polly was really gone now, and I had no idea when I’d ever see her again. But weirdly enough, this didn’t really feel like a loss. I didn’t lose Polly, she didn’t die or anything. But I did feel like a new person, like this was a real Fresh Start for me. I was officially on my own (so to speak) and I had nowhere to go but up.
I made my way back upstairs wringing my hands and arguing with myself in my head, trying to convince myself to take this chance and make use of it – you know, ‘Carpe diem’ and all that shit. And I kept arguing right up until I got to my hallway, and even still until I got to my front door. I stood in front of my door with my heart racing, spots forming in my vision because I was so terrified that I felt like I could pass out. But I thought back to the things that Polly had literally just said to me, and how this was my chance to be my own person. And with the biggest inhale I’d ever taken in my life, I turned on my heel and stepped up to the door across the way and knocked before the darker part of me could change my mind.  
Nothing happened for at least five seconds after my initial knock, but instead of letting the anxiety dissolve my organs from the inside out I just knocked again just a fraction louder. I counted up to five again and just as I raised my hand ready to knock one last time, the door swung wide open and startled me.
“Jesus!” I squeaked. “Ashton, hey. Sorry, I – uh. I didn’t mean to… disturb you.”
He was wrapped in nothing but a towel, his hair dripping wet and water dripping down his shoulders and along his skin like morning dew. But, regardless of the fact that he’d clearly been in the shower a few seconds ago, Ashton still greeted me with a smile and shook his head politely.
“Don’t be silly, I’d just finished.” He said cheerfully. “What can I do for you?”
I hesitated, unable to help the quick glance to Ashton’s bare chest before looking away kind of awkwardly with cherry red cheeks, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Not that Ashton was unattractive or anything – actually he was the complete opposite. His skin was smooth and practically glowing, despite the fact that Melbourne hadn’t seen a lick of surfing conditions for years (if ever) and his biceps were almost bigger than my head, it seemed. It was hard to ignore and, if I was being honest, the brightness in his smile almost made me forget why I was there. I cleared my throat and blinked dumbly as I tried to remember, Ashton offering me a small twitch of his eyebrow.
“Oh, um.” I pursed my lip, reaching back to shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “I was actually looking for Calum. Is he here?”
Ashton’s brows raised, almost like he was impressed. There was a small smile twitching on the corners of his lips too, but I got the feeling he was trying not to freak me out but bursting out his excitement that I was finally ready to talk to his roommate.
“Not at the moment, sorry DJ.”
Ashton pursed his lips and offered an apologetic look but, somehow, he looked kind of proud of me – and he didn’t even know why I was looking for Calum yet. I was starting to think that Ashton had been some kind of psychic in a past life, or possibly a mind reader. It wouldn’t have surprised me either way.
“Oh.” My face fell and disappointment settled into my stomach but I tried not to let it get into my head. “Do you… uh. Do you know when he’ll be back?”
Ashton leaned against the door frame, arms folding across his chest as he seemed to smirk knowingly at me.
“He’s at work,” He said frankly, though not with hostility. “But he should be finished in a couple hours. Did you wanna come over and wait?”
I was flattered by the offer, but I didn’t really feel like company while I went through this metamorphosis of the mind.
“Thanks, but that’s okay.” I said with a small, but grateful, smile.
“Are you sure?” He asked again, leaning off of the door way and gesturing inside his flat. “I don’t mind, we can hang out ‘til he gets home.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” I said again, a little more confidently. Ashton nodded and smiled anyway, offering a small shrug.
“If you’re sure. How’re you holding up, anyway? How was your Mum’s?”
I grinned at the question and revelled once again in the sincerity of Ashton’s eyes.
“Yeah, it went well.” I said almost cheerfully. “She offered me and Belle our old rooms back until we get ourselves sorted for next year. I’ll move back after results are released.”
“Oh, nice!” Ashton beamed. “And Belle too?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, she’s moving back this weekend. Her flatmate is a real piece of work.”
Ashton laughed, his eyes squeezing closed.
“Oh, yeah, I’ve met Nancy.” He practically giggled. “She’s hit on me several times.”
We both gagged at the thought, chuckling amongst ourselves for a moment. It felt nice, and when I opened my eyes again to see that Ashton was still there standing in front of me, I was reminded that Polly was not the only person who kind of liked me a little.
“Polly just left.” I said with a small, pursed lip smile and Ashton nodded knowingly.
“Yeah, she come to say goodbye before Calum left this afternoon. I offered to help her down to the car but she said she had it.” I snorted.
“Typical Miss Independent.” I snickered.
“But, that’s why we love her.” Ashton laughed, finishing the rest of the song. “You doing okay? With all of that, I mean?”
I nodded slowly, giving a one shouldered shrug as I tried to piece together the right string of words that would describe how I felt.
“I’m still deciding.” I admitted honestly.
“Understandable.” Ashton said and I nodded again.
“Yeah. But I’ll be alright. She knows what she’s doing and I just want the best for her, you know?”
“And you know what you’re doing too, yeah?” Ashton’s brows raised just a little in that way he did when he asked one thing but really meant something else. But I knew what he meant, and I nodded slowly but surely.
“I… I think so.” I said, mustering up the best smile I could. Ashton grinned back, reaching out to clap me on the arm gently.
“Good.” He said with pride. “I’m glad.”
“Could you tell Calum I stopped by?” I asked as we wrapped up the conversation. Ashton nodded enthusiastically.
“Of course.”
“Thanks, Ash.”
I waved a little awkwardly, about to turn on my heel and go back home to sort out what I was doing from there.
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