If the boys played “never have I ever” in an interview, what would be revealed to the public?
I SPRINTED TO MY COMPUTER
here's the transcript of poisoned mercury's buzzfeed interview where they played never have i ever as part of their press tour to promote their new album:
interviewer: thank you guys for coming!
luke *smiling while he fixes his mic*: thanks for having us :) we were just talking about how we used to do buzzfeed quizzes when we were younger.
travis: there were many days where we'd be in luke's house back in connecticut and completely forget that we were supposed to be rehearsing because we got caught up trying to figure out which inside out emotion we were.
interviewer: well, i'm glad to hear it because today we're gonna play a game of 'never have i ever.'
chris: unrelated but i fucking love that show. team paxton for life.
luke: dude no. ben is clearly the right choice.
connor: ok mr. enemies to lovers, of course you'd say that.
luke: shut up???!
travis: i think if we took the inside out quiz again right now, i'd get disgust because that's how i feel being in a band with two idiots who are so in love with their girlfriends.
connor: swear to god if i hear another "no you hang up first," from either one of you *looks at chris and luke* i'm blowing my brains out.
interviewer looks around the room, trying to ask the producers what she should do. the video editors are already stressing because they know they have to bleep out a lot of the words the boys are using.
interviewer: .... so let's start with the first question. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.
chris: fuck, how did you get all of us on the first question?
connor: yeah we've gone skinny dipping a few times, but the most recent was last summer. mama c-- shoutout mama c, we love you!
luke: yeah, we love you mama!
connor: she put all of us on timeout and we spent the entire summer at a music camp and on our last night, we all went skinny dipping at the lake with our roommates.
luke: oh shit, i forgot about that. those were good times. *looks at chris* i miss camp bro.
chris: me too.
travis *stares deadpan into the camera*: do you see what we have to deal with?
interviewer: never have i ever had a crush on a friend's sibling.
travis: guilty.
chris *turns his head so fast*: given that you're related to connor and luke is an only child, you better be talking about a non-band friend.
travis *shrugging*: your older sister is hot, rodriguez.
chris: stay away from my sister.
luke *looks at the interviewer with wide eyes*: next question or you'll have a video to submit to worldstar.
interviewer: oh! uh, okay-- never have i ever accidentally posted something to my main account instead of my private or close friends one.
connor *cracking up*: castellan, wanna take this one?
luke *blushing*: this feels like a targeted question because we know the infamous video of me with the handsome squidward filter on (the hozier incident) that was supposed to go on my close friends story! i was so embarrassed. to be clear, i was JOKING. i don't actually flirt like that.
travis: i've seen you flirt with y/n, and you in the squidward video had more game than you normally do.
luke *teasing because he knows travis does not want a relationship*: and yet who's single between the two of us?
connor: oh he got you there.
travis: y/n, if you're watching this, you deserve better. he's a loser. i have better friends i can set you up with.
luke: five star, if you're watching this, you're stuck with me. there's no going back.
interviewer: never have i ever had a song written about me.
chris: this is a great pivot to promote our sophomore album's lead single, "kiss her you fool!" we wrote this song about our front man, luke, here. our second album "optimism don't come easy (unless it's with you)" is out now.
interviewer: i love that shameless self-promo.
connor: i think we as a band can benefit from having some shame, but thank you.
chris *turns to luke*: this will also come as a shock to you, but there's another song out in the world that's kinda about you.
luke: huh? which one?
travis: quinnie, remember her? she was in cabin 7. she wrote the bulk of it, but y/n actually gave her the idea. chris and connor helped her with instrumentals and the song is sick.
connor: it was amazing. quinnie is so talented. if you guys haven't heard her music, i highly, highly recommend it. the song we're talking about is called touch tank. you guys should check it out.
chris: agreed. she's also just a fucking cool person. she's one of our closest friends in the industry.
travis *making a heart with his hands*: we love you, quinnie!
interviewer: okay, final question since we're running out of time. never have i ever gone on a world tour for my band's second album.
luke *laughs*: i see what you did there. that was good.
connor: we are soooooo excited to announce that we're going back on tour! this summer, we'll be seeing all your beautiful faces again. tickets go on sale this friday! we hope to see you there!
luke: check out our band's twitter for more information on how to get tickets and to see if we'll be coming to a city near you.
chris: we miss seeing you guys!
travis: see you guys so soon! we love you!
interviewer: that's all the time we have for today. thank you guys so much. it was a pleasure!
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“Did you seriously have to choose ‘usernames’ for this?” Billy blinked in utter befuddlement at the words in the corner of his vision, even if he knew it was all in his head. All in his magic or something. It wasn’t like the wizard had exactly explained anything.
Several voices responded with far too much smugness or delight, save for Marvel. Actually- “Um, why is the cap’ labeled as moderator?” he knew he shouldn’t have told them about streaming and chats, he knew he shouldn’t have. “Hold up, why is my name showing up in… uh, chat?”
Well, at least it wasn’t his full name or something, because he had no idea if other magic users or telepaths could see it. The fact he could both hear and see the gods- even if half of them actually weren’t- was just another thing he’d get used to.
He’d gotten used to hearing Solomon after all, even if it took a solid week to stop jumping whenever they piped up. So it couldn’t be much different to get used to the rest and well, the Marvel that was pretty much the amalgamation of all the past users.
Oh no did this mean he counted as haunted? Would someone try to exorcize him? Oh no, he didn’t have to avoid everyone for the rest of his life, did he? That would suck, especially seeing as how he needed to get food somehow, even if it was through the trash-
HeralKeys: I will give you temporary super strength in your mortal form if you punch one of those blue boys you don’t like
Nevermind, he’d have to be a hermit because of the dead egging him on-
IAMSPEED: Do it and I’ll give you my speed for the day, no questions :)
Billy… was probably going to regret this, but honestly Solomon was the only one protesting. If the marvels thought it was fine, then it’d be okay, right? Besides, what was the worst that could happen, someone catches a street kid using super speed on video?
Also known as where Billy can use the powers he has in Marvel form at different points because the divine twitch chat did the equivalent of a donation. $5? They can't do that, but what about 5 hours of Solomon's wisdom while he tries to figure out magic?
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