#or more people are getting tired of mlm dominating queer spaces

[chronic-cynic]

Watching the AO3 top ship finals go down (here it is), and the amount of people talking about how the mlm ship (not naming it, in case I get dragged for having an opinion) deserves to win because it’s a part of Tumblr history is just… ridiculous.

Like, that is absolutely correct, but why exactly did it become a part of Tumblr history? Why has Tumblr had an obsession with non-canon (this particular ship is canon, though, but it seemed like a last minute decision from the writers) mlm ships, whilst ignoring any potential wlw ones?

Think just a little, guys. I promise you that you’ll get there.

(Dropping my favourite video ever because I can)

[bubtans]

hi first of all I'm so sorry to kind of vent here. I am more or less reading this pattern of female character being brushed aside no matter how good or lovable they are and it irks me a bit that no one says anything on how weird it is to be more fixated even on the less impactful male character and their mlm ships. I am kind of okay with it but it is tiring to see it domineering the fandom space, almost erasing the rest of the cast. I'm really glad to have meet you in the internet because your takes are refreshing! But I am kind of confused is there any term or explanation about it or am I just crazy? Anyway there's there to it!! Feel free to answer or not to answer it but I need to get it off my brain because you know,,,thank you for existing in the fandom space :)

hello my smush i'm glad you felt comfortable enough to express yourself and get those feelings out :') and i'm glad i can provide a space for people to reflect and think about these things a little more!

the only explanation i can offer for these patterns is that literally All of us grow up engaging with media that is impacted by the male gaze, because mainstream tv, film, and print industries are still dominated by investors and creatives that cater first and foremost to straight, male, eurocentric audiences. that means that even queer women of color do not Automatically know how to interact with stories that focus on giving dimension and depth to female characters and characters of color.

it is a skill that still requires reflection on our part in order to unlearn those conditioned biases, and it can't be substituted with going "but these fictional men are women to me" or "i headcanon everyone as bisexual so every fictional woman Needs to be open to romance with men" or "i headcanon these fictional white characters as brown" because those things do not teach us how to think about the inner workings of black and brown women that already exist in books, games, and on tv.

literally everyone should feel obligated to deepen their understanding of what it means for media to be truly diverse. however, fandom has always been a place for personal gratification, and no amount of queer headcanons can hide how much it follows the repressed sexual tastes of straight white women, as well as their aversion to any kind of censure. that makes it difficult for the conversation to be productive in these spaces.

[weirdscholar]

Yo, guys , I think more of you should wanna rp with me. Like, I'm 18+ like most of the rpers i see. I'll first off draw your characters (probably) if I like them (which i probably will). Lesbians? Ya, cool, love little lesbian characters. I gotta have that mlm solidarity. I got you. I'll give you wlw characters that aren't y/n bbys or super sexualized.

Gay guys? Totally got you! Will I say I wanna fuck your mlm characters? Probably. But I'm mostly joking. It won't just be an absurd fetishized version of a gay guy. As a gay guy, I can assure gay guys that are just guys.

Non binary? I so got you. It's not my field of expertise, but I think I can play a good, non binary character. And I def don't care if you do.

Just want trans characters? I totally get that! Wanting to either explore gender via characters or just wanting more content that you find relatable is so real! I have trans characters, and it's coming from a trans person!

Straight characters? It's not my usual flavor of spice, but I'm down. Plus, I can assure you it won't be oml big dominant scary man and smoll uwu princess. Even better if you want a straight queer couple. Love some happy bisexuals vibing together or a straight t for t couple.

None sexual rp? Definitely. Are you tired of these horny bitchs? (No offense horny bitchs, I luv ya'll) I'll happily do none sexy rp. If anything, it's perfered! And with the bonus of not expecting all non sexy rp and uwu fluff. I don't think sex is needed for a rp to be mature! So you can still enjoy mature topics without feeling forced to have to rp sex.

Multiple characters? Yes! Definitely! More character interactions and development? Right up my ally.

1v1 character? Cool, too! Love focusing on two particular characters. Get right into their little brains.

Wanna do genres other than romance? Amazing! 10/10 gimme your genres rn. I know finding anything other than romance can be exhausting when romance is the predominant genre within rp spaces. It's pretty much expected by 99% of people.

Wanna do romance? Amazing, too! I love a good well developed romance.

Sexy rp? Maybe (under specific circumstances). If you're willing to meet my specific conditions for sexy stuff, then I'm super open-minded and non judgmental! (I'm not proship!!!) You wanna do something weird? Gross? Or just cringe? Can't promise I'll be down, but I can promise I won't be an asshole! (Within reason, please don't hit me up with beastiality or something else like incest- like - I'm okay with Taboo within reason)

Tired of characters that are a part of angst town and want characters to have backstories that match average people? So real! Can't say my characters won't have any struggles- its not realistic for them to not. But I can assure you I have characters whose family is alive AND loves them.

Do you enjoy angst town characters? Wooowie, I got that too, dw. Dead parents, asshole parents, bullying, mental illness, physical disability- all open subjects. If each topic is treated with the thoughtfulness and respect it deserves, then I'm perfectly cool with it! (With mental illness and other disability do at least a few minutes of looking at legitimate medical information on whatever you're rping *please*)

Fantasy? I can snort that shit give it over rn

Non fantasy? Maybe not snortable but still delicious. Nom nom nom

Just p l e s. Ik I'm chatty as all fuck and I don't do Fandom but I'm literally so versatile and ready to try anything. (Okay, not everything. I do have boundaries, but still lol). Lemme fawn over mine and your characters. Give me something for my brain to chew on.

[adulthooliganism]

hey, it’s been a while since i made this post. i wanted to say a couple things.

1) if you’re seeing this part of the post, drop it. just leave. don’t bother. brian asked us to drop the discourse, i’m over it, i don’t care anymore.

2) as i say in the post, this is my opinion. i posted my opinion on my blog and that’s that. i explicitly said i do not speak for brian and that i do not speak for other mlm dudes. these are my thoughts and mine alone.

3) as i also said in the post, this wasn’t intended to stop anybody. people are going to say what they’re gonna say. i just wanted folks to think about it.

4) this post was the culmination of a lot of different factors and frankly i don’t want to get into each of them because it involves the privacy of certain individuals and i don’t want to put them on the spot like that. the important part: i wanted people to harass me about this instead of one of my followers (who is a minor). that was the main reason i even made the post.

5) a point i didn’t articulate properly was the oversexualization and objectification of online personalities as a whole. these are real human people. words mean things and i just wanted people to think about things. with dan howell coming forward about how phan shippers literally triggered his ptsd by digging so far into his personal life, i hope that some people will come around and realize how damaging things like this can really be. your words and actions can have real, tangible effects on these people. this includes digging into their past and pulling up old videos, posts, tweets, accounts, relationships, etc.

there’s no real end to this. i just wanted to clear things up, if you click on the original and come to see this. i’m leaving the post up and under a readmore because i don’t think i would be doing anybody any favors by deleting it. my actions have consequences, the damage is done, and i have to live with that.

(updated 06/20/2019)

So I decided to make a formal post about this since it’s... becoming a real sort of problem in this community, and I don’t think people understand why it’s a problem. As an adult and a mlm who is very active here, I feel like this is a post I should make (though, as I sorta talk about later in the post, I do not speak for all mlm/gay/queer men. I also do not speak for Brian. I speak from the place of a mlm dude who’s just... tired).

Please stop calling Brian a twink.

I get it. He’s a skinny, white, ambiguously-non-het dude. But what you need to keep in mind is that twink is a word that has its own history and meanings and connotations beyond a physical description.

The exact origins of the word ‘twink’ aren’t super clear but there’s really three sort of theories as to where it came from (all of which likely had some role in its place today), none of them great:

It is a derivative of an old British gay slang term “twank,” which was related to sexual promiscuity of young gay men who wanted to be dominated by any man.

It comes from the snack food Twinkies, which are junk and nothing of (nutritional) value to you, along with being filled with white cream, which frankly I don’t feel the need to explain further.

It is an acronym (likely more of a backronym, but regardless) for Teenage, White, Into No Kink. The implications of teenage and white are... not good!

The general agreement with the creation/initial usage of the word twink, as a whole, is young, white, and promiscuous. It is a term based in racism and ageism (and potentially pedophilia!). And most of all, it was intended to be demeaning. It was not a positive word. 

(a/n: this is not to say that people cannot claim the word for themselves. mlm/gay/queer masc-aligned folks can do whatever they want. but it is not a positive or cute word to ascribe to others, especially if you are not a mlm/gay/queer man.)

And honestly, calling some person you don’t know a twink just... it’s like when people reply to B or C-list celebrities on Twitter and call them idiots and stuff. That’s fine with your real friends, but not with literal strangers, ya know?

I know that this post isn’t going to stop anybody from doing anything. People are going to do and say whatever they want. But, if you take one thing away from this post, please think about things before you speak. As somebody who has had these sorts of labels ascribed to him without his consent or want (and has been outed in the past by words like this), I can tell you from personal experience that it is not a good feeling.

Just... chill out with that stuff. Especially if it’s in a space where Brian can easily see it (see: his twitter replies/mentions).